Advice Column - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Start the online adventure together with your child

UNICEF South Africa released a study that 70% of children surveyed use the Internet without parental consent. “The Disrupting Harm Study released in 2022 showed that 70% of children surveyed in South Africa use the Internet without parental consent and risky online behaviour can expose them to online violence, exploitation, and abuse. The online world is also increasingly intertwined with everyday life offline.” Having an open relationship with your child’s online behaviour has been identified as a core pillar to protecting them when they go online. As parents, we can monitor their activity, we do have eyes at the back of our heads. We can implement child-friendly browsers on our devices, and we can even set an alarm clock to stop their time online and set boundaries. All of these are great and should be done to protect your child when they go online. Thanks to many hours of global best practice research and 20 years of digital and parenting experience, this program was designed to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is dedicated to educating children to self-regulate, self-recognise, communicate, and educate parents on how to manage this maze of information. The parental guides have been designed in a way that makes it easy to navigate, and we’ve collated global best practices and professional advice, to give parents a concise summary of how to protect their children and keep the conversations going well into their teens. Twenty minutes a week, with your child over 5 weeks, is all it will take. If you don’t have the time Miss Nadie and Codey have dedicated jump in and out supervised online classes every day of the week, to help you out when things get busy. Can you afford not to start the conversations now, while they will still want to listen to you? Register today. https://bit.ly/3njBqid

September 18, 2023

BATMAN DAY & TEEN TITANS GO! MARATHON – When in Doubt, Be Batman

The third Saturday of September is observed globally as Batman Day, which marks the anniversary of the first-ever appearance of the character in Detective Comics #27 in May 1939. To celebrate, we’ve put together an epic day ofLEGO DC movies and Teen Titans GO! episodes on 16 September that’s sure to unleash the Caped Crusader in all of us! We’ll kick off with LEGO Batman: DC Superheroes Unite, LEGO DC Batman: Family Matters, LEGO DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Gotham City Breakout, and LEGO DC Comics: Batman Be-Leaguered before swinging into an all-action Teen Titans GO! Batman marathon. Premiere: Saturday, 16 September from 08:50 CAT

September 15, 2023

BATMAN DAY WITH THE BATWHEELS – Bigger, Better, Batwheels

Celebrate Batman Day by diving into a special themed Cartoonito marathon, featuring the best of the Batwheels and all their crazy Gotham City adventures. Tune in on Saturday, 16 September, from 08:30 for Secret Origins of the Batwheels and Batwheels episodes 2, 18 & 30 from Season 1, with special appearances by Batman himself! ⏰ Tune in: Saturday, 16 September @ 08:30 CAT

September 15, 2023

Webinar – Cracked nipples during breastfeeding

Sr Talia talks about cracked nipples during breastfeeding, why they are caused and how to treat them.

September 15, 2023

Medicating to help with sleep – Babies & Children

As sleep consultants we come across many instances of parents medicating their children to aid sleep. Parents are often faced with this decision, desperate for the entire family to get some much-needed sleep. There are special medical cases where medication may be needed and will be prescribed by your doctor, but for the most part healthy sleep routines and habits are NOT something that should be achieved by medicating. Sleep is essentially a learned behaviour that we can teach our babies and children. What does normal sleep look like? It is important to understand what normal sleep looks like for babies and children as it gives us a better indication of what to expect and why they wake so often, even after they are no longer feeding at night. We all sleep in cycles. We move through stages of light sleep (also referred to as Rapid Eye Movement or REM) and deep sleep. For a baby, sleep cycles are around 45 minutes and it gradually gets longer as they get older. They therefore naturally have a lot more REM sleep than we do. An adult has a sleep cycle that lasts up to 1.5 hours in length. During the newborn phase babies wake in the night for nutritional purposes. Between the age of 4 – 5 months, babies can usually manage one longer sleep period at night and the need to feed gradually reduces. Unfortunately, the night waking’s do not always end when the need to feed does. Even though sleep is a natural process and is a necessity to our wellbeing, linking sleep cycles and sleeping through the night is an essential skill that babies need to be taught. Some babies manage to do so naturally, but more often they need some help to get there. Children require 11 to 12 hours of sleep a night, with age-appropriate naps during the day. There are endless health and wellness benefits of getting the sleep we need. Growing children are at a disadvantage if they do not sleep well. It has a direct influence on their health, mood, weight, concentration, stamina and learning. What influences sleep? We need to look at sleep holistically and not in isolation. Sleep is a complex function as there are so many influencing factors in our daily life. NutritionWhen Nutrition Can Influence Sleep – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) EnvironmentSetting the stage for a good night’s sleep – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) RoutineYour 7- to 11-month-old baby’s sleep routine – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) Sleep associationsUnderstanding the sleep training Process – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) Stimulation IllnessMy great sleeper is sick – Now what? – Good Night (goodnightbaby.co.za) Trying to ‘cure’ sleepless nights by looking at sleep in isolation is treating the symptoms and not the cause. By – Dr Carla Jardine – Paediatrician All parents (including Paediatricians!) have struggled through sleepless nights with their kids. Trying to get your child to sleep through the night is one of the most exhausting phases of parenting. Many parents are tempted to try medication after endless sleep deprived nights. Unfortunately, this is never a real solution. These medications may provide a brief sense of relief when your child drifts off to sleep more easily at bedtime, but prolonged use can cause side effects and do not address the core problem…only a good routine with healthy sleep habits and sleep associations can encourage children to sleep through the night! The Common Culprits Melatonin: This is a natural hormone that is produced by the pineal gland in the brain. It controls our circadian rhythm-the natural sleep-wake cycle in our brain. When it is dark, melatonin increases, and the effect is that you feel progressively more sleepy. When it is light, melatonin decreases with the opposite effect. Some insomniacs have been found to have naturally low levels of melatonin. There are also instances when the circadian rhythm (and melatonin secretion) become disturbed, such as in shift workers, long haul flights (jet lag) and in people living in countries with extremes of either daylight hours or night hours. In these instances, a melatonin supplement is appropriate. Melatonin is a synthetic hormone and has side effects such as: headache, feelings of depression, daytime sleepiness, dizziness, stomach cramps and irritability. Melatonin has not been approved for use in children but there are certain instances where it can been used “off-label”. This is mainly in children who have ADHD or Autism. In these conditions there is often a disturbance in the sleep-wake cycle and melatonin has been of benefit. Anti-Histamines: These are medications that decrease the levels of histamine in the body. They are usually used to treat allergic conditions. The first generation of anti-histamines were found to be very sedating as a side effect. This resulted in these drugs being marketed as over the counter sleep aides. This is not however the appropriate use of these drugs, and they also have many side effects: dry mouth, drowsiness, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, restlessness, headaches, moodiness, blurred vision and confusion. Codeine: This is usually the ingredient in pain medication that causes sedation. Codeine is a weak opioid. It can be a useful pain medication and is also sometimes used in cough mixtures as it also causes cough suppression. Some of the side effects of codeine are: lightheadedness, dizziness, nausea and vomiting, shortness of breath, sedation, allergic reactions, constipation, abdominal pain or rashes. All of these common “sleep aides” have many side effects and their long term use is ill advised. Some are not tested in children at all and others should not be given to children under 2 years of age. The safest thing to do is to use medications only as prescribed by a doctor and not to improvise their use according to their sedative properties. If in doubt, always get your doctors advice! How do you teach your child to sleep? Just as we help our children master the skills of walking, talking, using manners, sharing, brushing teeth, we can teach them how to sleep well by putting down good

September 14, 2023

Why is math so difficult for some kids?

Understanding cognitive skills and math. “Math!” This four-letter word is enough to give many kids a knot in the stomach, and many parents sleepless nights in anticipation of the next school report or math test coming up. When it comes to mathematics, many parents and children feel anxious and frustrated. This is especially true when a child is struggling with math, in spite of already getting help by means of tutoring, extra math classes or math programs. For many parents, and similar for their children, their math anxiety began with timed math tests in primary school. They knew the answers, but their brains froze when up when working against the clock. For others, not understanding the why behind a math formula was confusing. Unfortunately, children who experience math anxiety often grow up without ever understanding the reason for their math struggles and carry math anxiety with them for the rest of their lives. As a parent, they feel helpless when their child brings home math homework. Some may become teachers who feel powerless when their students don’t understand math or label themselves as not being a math person. Their math anxiety and frustration gets passed on to the children, and the cycle unfortunately continues. Math anxiety is very real, are extremely debilitating, and have been studied for decades. Yet it persists. But why is math so difficult for some kids?! The answer to this question usually lies within the strengths and weaknesses in our individual cognitive profiles. Each of us have strong and weaker cognitive skills – those underlying brain skills essential for learning, reading, reasoning, attention, and yes – math. And when it comes to math (and learning), having strong cognitive skills is a prerequisite for learning math. If one or a combination of skills like selective, sustained and divided attention; visual processing; visual, sequential and working memory; long term memory, deductive and inductive reasoning are weak, they must be strengthened first, before a child will be able to understand and apply math. So let’s explore the connection between cognitive skills and math. As the foundation for learning, cognitive skills are essential across any curriculum, including math What, then, are the important underlying cognitive processes that support or impair our learning of math? According to scientific and educational researchers, math skills can be grouped into the following categories: SPATIAL REPRESENTATION The relationship of math success to visual-spatial abilities is strongly supported by research, and the correlation appears to increase as the complexity of the math task increases. The important aspect of visual-spatial processing is not just remembering the shape, size, colour and number of objects, but their relationship to each other in space. It turns out that visual memory by itself (what things are) is somewhat error-prone, but spatial memory (where things are) is associated with correct answers, and is thus an important aspect of mathematical problem solving. Within visual-spatial processing, we can distinguish cognitive skills such as the following: Spatial Memory: This refers to our ability to remember where we are in space and where we are related to other objects in space. This understanding provides the foundation on which problems (changes in the space) can be solved. Visualization: Our ability to visualize a problem we need to solve or to visualize alternative solutions contributes substantially to our understanding of the problem. When we learn transformations in geometry, for example, interpreting the difference between a translation (sliding an object along a straight line), a rotation (turning an object around a point) and a reflection (mirror image) is greatly aided by our visualization skills. Directionality: The ability to distinguish between left and right, of course, is more than just about math. It comes in handy when tying shoe laces, reading a map, and in playing sport. Here’s an example of how we use directionality – imagine someone hands you a map with a route marked out on it. Do you have to keep turning the map around to figure out what direction to turn next? If so, your directionality skills are not as strong as they might be. COUNTING AND OPERATIONS When it comes to counting and numerical operations, we are again dependent for math success on some foundational cognitive skills, such as sequential processing and selective attention, and on executive functions (the directive capacities of our minds) such as Working Memory: Working Memory: Working Memory is to our ability to hold information in our minds while we manipulate it. Working memory capacity is highly correlated with reading comprehension, with math performance, and with many other academic and non-academic outcomes. Working Memory serves math processes from the very simple (for example, keeping track of which oranges in the basket we’ve counted and which we haven’t) to the most complex reasoning and mental simulations we perform when calculating statistics or contemplating string theory or manipulating derivatives in calculus. Sequential Processing: Counting is all about sequences, so once again, cognitive skills contribute crucially at even the most elementary stages of math. As we start to manipulate and calculate, the sequence of steps to solve a problem must be observed. A concrete example is the concept of order of operations and the different result that comes from (7 + 4) x 3 and from 7 + (4 x 3). Selective Attention: When we have good selective attention skills, it’s easier for us to screen out the irrelevant parts of a complex problem and isolate the relevant facts that we need to concentrate on. For example – if Susan, who is wearing a red dress, is 2 years older than Ben, who is wearing a blue shirt and jeans and just celebrated his 12th birthday, we don’t need to know the colour of their clothes to determine how hold Susan is. LOGICAL PROBLEM SOLVING Undoubtedly, math is problem-solving. There are of course other types of problem-solving, but problems with numbers almost always call for mathematical thinking and logic to be applied. Above, we have already highlighted some of the cognitive skills we use for problem-solving,

September 14, 2023

UNILEVER SA MAKES HYGIENE EDUCATION FUN AND EASY FOR SA CHILDREN WITH THE LAUNCH OF HYGIENE HEROES DIGITAL PLATFORM

Following on from its successful National Schools Hygiene Programme in partnership with the Department of Basic Education, Unilever South Africa has launched Hygiene Heroes- an online platform that teaches children handwashing, toilet hygiene and oral care through interactive activities and games. No child should ever have to miss school due to preventable illnesses, but this is often the case with South Africa’s learners. That’s why Unilever South Africa, in a bid to improve children’s hygiene habits and keep them safer from germs at home and at school, has just launched a free interactive digital platform called Hygiene Heroes. Hygiene Heroes helps children learn all about handwashing, toilet hygiene and oral hygiene through animated videos, quizzes, and interactive games. The journey begins with animated videos where colourful characters teach practical hygiene habits that children can easily understand. The real fun kicks off with the germ dodging game, where kids can compete against their friends and climb the leader board. At the end, there are interactive quizzes that allow them to test their knowledge. Parents, guardians, and caregivers with internet access can sign up for free to the platform, play the games with their children and witness as they learn good hygiene habits and bring them into their homes and schools. Hygiene Heroes will give parents and guardians an opportunity to spend quality time with their children engaged in a fun, learning activity that encourages good hygiene habits that keep the whole family healthier so they can continue to go about their daily lives without the stress and financial strain of family illness. When parents sign up to the platform, their children will join over 6.2 million learners who have already gained the same hygiene education through the National Schools Hygiene Programme – presented by Unilever SA and the Department of Basic Education. Unilever’s Purpose Strategy and Partnerships Lead, Queen Mgobhozi said; “The launch of Hygiene Heroes is particularly vital in this post pandemic era where we have seen a dip in awareness about good hygiene habits due to the lessened risk of contracting Covid 19; while the risk of other deadly infectious diseases that keep children from crucial learning remains. We believe that the launch of this fun learning platform can contribute to filling this gap by ensuring continual reinforcement of good hygiene habits using an always on educational and interactive digital platform.” Issues such as post-Covid hygiene fatigue and lack of access to sanitation and water continue to affect the health and wellbeing of South Africa’s children, which often translates into school absenteeism. By teaching kids basic hygiene from a young age, we can reinforce these important lessons early on and equip them with vital knowledge to protect themselves from illness-causing germs. The World Health Organisation identifies invested stakeholder collaboration such as the Unilever and Department of Basic Education’s National Schools Hygiene Programme partnership, which promotes behaviour change as a solution to preventing illness caused by germs and keeping children in school, as vital to ensuring continued access to education and optimal health. Parents, guardians, caregivers, and media can log on to Hygiene Heroes here: Register | Unilever Schools Programme Stand a chance to win exciting giveaways by visiting Unilever South Africa Homepage | Unilever and following @unileversa on Instagram, @UnileverSA on Twitter and Unilever Food Solutions SA on Facebook.

September 13, 2023

Imposing Expectations On Your Children

Many of my clients come to me complaining that their children simply do not do what they’re told, are unmanageable, and are following the ‘wrong’ path in life. What this tells me is a lot about the parent, and very little indeed about the child. We all give away through they way that we speak and the things that we focus on what is important to us. But how often do we stop to find out what is important to someone else, particularly with our children. As much as we have hopes and desires for our kids, they have these for themselves too. What we tend to do is praise and emphasise those things that they love that fit in with our own priorities for them and ignore or ridicule those that are outside of our own value system. In doing so we impose our own set of values and dreams onto our children and then wonder why they eventually rebel and become totally in-compliant. Most parents, if they took the time and care to notice, would find it easy to tell you what is important to their kids, and yet they place very little importance on this themselves. When we stop to respect our children as real, complete human beings as they are, we enter a whole new world of relationship with them. Think about it – you wouldn’t tell your friends what job they should do or who they should be friends with or what they should be eating for dinner, right? Understanding your children’s dreams, goals and priorities instead of ignoring them can actually make your parenting journey much easier. Whatever it is that you want them to do, you simply find a way to link it to what is already important to them. For example if you want your child to bath and their highest priority is to play, then instead of saying “get in the bath now”, say “it’s time to go and play in the bath – which toys would you like to bring?” Or, for example, if you want your child to eat vegetables and their highest priority is dinosaurs, then call the broccoli “dinosaur trees” or talk about which dinosaurs would have eaten each part of the meal that is currently on their plate. If you want your soccer star to focus more on maths, point out how by learning maths he will have an advantage over the other players by understanding how to score goals by focusing on the angle between himself, the ball and the net. It may take a bit of time and practice, but I guarantee that linking what your child loves to everything they need to do makes parenting easier in the long run. Children feel heard and understood and they see that you are respecting what is important to them. They see the connections between what you want them to do and what they want for themselves instead of seeing your view as an imposition. I believe that every human being, regardless of their age, should have their values and dreams respected. The sooner that parents and teachers stop imposing their views onto the children in their care and instead link their values to those of the kids, the sooner we’ll find happy children, living their dreams AND complying with their caregivers.

September 13, 2023

How hormones (and your monthly cycle) affect your skin

As women, our bodies go through a lot every month. From ovulation, to PMS and menstruating, it might sometimes feel like you’re on a rollercoaster ride. Our monthly cycle has an effect on just about every part of our body – physically, mentally, emotionally, and of course, our appearance. Your menstrual cycle has a major effect on the appearance of your skin, and may be to blame for many of the skincare challenges you’re faced with every month. That’s because our hormones play a major role in skin health, and when hormones surge or fluctuate, it shows on your face. While every woman’s cycle is unique to her, it’s worth examining a typical monthly cycle to understand how and why your skin might operate the way it does – and what you can do about it. It’s normal to experience ups and downs throughout the month, but with a targeted, good quality skincare regime and healthy lifestyle, it’s possible to enjoy healthy, great-looking skin throughout all stages of your cycle. How hormones affect the skin During a typical menstrual cycle, most women will experience bouts of dryness and oiliness. In general, skin becomes most “problematic” just before, and during one’s period. This is the time in which you may experience pesky hormone-related breakouts. Oestrogen production may influence the skin’s texture and thickness and progesterone production plays a major part in the skin’s natural oil production. When these two hormones fluctuate, it has a direct impact on the skin. Your cycle days 1 – 6 Due to low hormone production in the first few days of your cycle, your skin may feel dry or somewhat sensitive. This may make lines and wrinkles more noticeable. Apply plenty of hydrating products to counteract dryness, especially products containing hydrating hyaluronic acid. Try Biomedical Emporium HA Contour Masque (R1341.00), a rich formulation that helps increase the skin’s production of collagen and hyaluronic acid, reinstating the barrier integrity and providing long-lasting hydration. Skin is rejuvenated and the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles is reduced. Your cycle days 7 – 11 (follicular phase) Oestrogen production increases and stimulates cell turnover. For many women, this is the time during which their skin looks and feels its best. This may be a good time to gently exfoliate skin to prevent clogged pores and to include a vitamin C product in your regime to increase radiance. Try Biomedical Emporium Skin Biotic C Cream (R1340.00), a nourishing moisturiser rich in vitamin C, that’s suitable even for sensitive skins. Your cycle days 12 – 16 (ovulation) Oestrogen peaks during ovulation, which may result in glowing skin, but you may also notice that your skin becomes a little oilier during this time. That’s because oestrogen and testosterone production slowly decreases and the production of progesterone slowly increases. If not managed, this may lead to the formation of breakouts. Now is a good time to follow a regime that encourages sebum control and to opt for oil-free formulas. If your skin is prone to breaking out during this time, try Biomedical Emporium Anti-Acne Serum (R834.00). Anti-inflammatory and anti-microbial, this calming serum helps soothe irritation, reduce pore size and decrease excess sebum production, leading to clearer skin. Your cycle days 17 – 28 (luteal phase) During the luteal phase, progesterone reaches its peak, resulting in the skin producing a lot more oil than usual. You may experience hormonal breakouts during this time. This is a good time to use detoxifying products that draw out impurities and products containing salicylic acid to decrease redness and help existing breakouts heal faster. Biomedical Emporium’s Facial Cleanser (R540.00) is a fantastic cleanser to use all month as it contains spot-busting salicylic acid and deeply yet gently cleanses and provides light exfoliation without disturbing the skin’s barrier integrity. Lifestyle tips Regardless of your individual needs throughout your cycle, everyone’s skin will benefit from following a fresh, healthy diet, cutting back on sugar and caffeine and cutting out smoking. Drink plenty of water, get enough sleep, exercise regularly and follow good skin hygiene (that means washing your makeup off every night and stop touching your face!). Your monthly cycle may affect your mood, your energy levels and the appearance of your skin. As your body prepares for possible conception leading up to your menstruation period, plenty of hormonal changes occur, leading to fluctuating levels of oestrogen, testosterone and progesterone. Understanding your cycle is essential, as it affords you the opportunity to better treat your skin at its various stages and address concerns with the right products and ingredients. About Dr Judey Pretorius Dr Judey Pretorius is a highly accomplished Biomedical Scientist and product development specialist with substantial experience in the disciplines of acute, chronic and post-surgical wound healing, regenerative medicine and cell therapy. She holds a Master’s degree in Genetics and Molecular Biology followed by her PhD degree in Pharmaceutical Chemistry, Medicine Development and Design. She has also obtained an Advanced Diploma in Dermal Aesthetics. Dr Judey Pretorius gained extensive experience as a Research and Development Formulation Scientist. She was responsible for the Scientific and Biomedical formulation of therapeutic products of premium brands in respective disciplines. Her contributions included cosmeceutical, pharmaceutical and medical device developments. She is the co-founder of Biomedical Emporium®, a biotechnology company specialising in the formulation of advanced biological products, cell culture processes and tissue engineering for advanced wound healing and an advisory on regenerative medicine. She has made unique formulation discoveries that have had a profound influence on the course of new developments in aesthetic and wound care treatment. https://www.biomedicalemporium.com/

September 13, 2023

Are you functioning on autopilot?

They say half of the time we function on autopilot whilst 90% of our purchasing decisions are done on autopilot. In other words we are not consciously thinking about what we are doing or why we are doing those things. They have become habitual. For example: Think about when you brush your teeth or your morning routine each day when you wake up. The route you drive to or from home and work each day. Have there been times when you can’t remember how you got to a place or walked into a room and forgot what you were going to do? This is because we are not consciously thinking about our actions and thoughts – we are on autopilot. This happens daily with tasks we perform, the way we interact with others, our reactions, our behaviours, things we hold onto from the past and even some of our beliefs. It has become so ingrained in us over the years that we have not stopped to consider whether those things are still relevant, serve us positively or whether there is possibly something new or different we could consider instead. We lose out on so much as we are unaware of what is going on around us. We miss the signs and messages – both verbal and non-verbal. A wounded glance, reactive tone of voice, hurt eyes, dejected or closed off body language. We even miss the beauty in everything due to our presence being elsewhere instead of enjoying the moment for what it is – the here and now. Living mindfully present is important to the quality of the lives we live. Being mindful of our own thoughts, actions and behaviours and the impact they have on others around us. Being fully present in the moment and giving others our undivided attention and efforts is a gift. So how do we become more mindful? It’s a daily practice that takes time to master and should be viewed as learning a new skill just the same as learning to read or write. It starts with becoming aware of our own ‘self’ – how we talk to ourselves, the words we use, the language we speak. Often we are our own worst critic and berate ourselves harshly. The more we tell ourselves stories, the stronger they become until they take on a life of their own and become the path we live by. When our self awareness grows, we become aware of our own thoughts and behaviours as well as the impact we are having on others and they are having on us. In other words we are fully present in the moment and aware of what we are doing as well as of what is happening around us. We can sense when we are not being authentic and sincere just as much as we can sense when others are not. Yet often we choose to ignore this. We know when we are being true to ourselves and living our truth vs. compromising our own values and personal boundaries and the consequences that come with this. Some like to mediate, others like to unwind in the mountains or near the sea whilst some like to partake in an activity – each with the purpose of connecting us to ourselves, feeding our soul and feeling alive, like we have a purpose. It does not matter what you do so long as you do it. With a heightened sense of awareness, we are able to be more creative, positive, solution oriented, peace loving and kind for the benefit of all and mankind. Reflection time: Can you think of words or phrases you often use when speaking to or about yourself? Are they positive and uplifting or critical and faultfinding? Can you remember a situation where you may not have been fully present and aware of your actions? If you think back to that time now, can you see the different ways your actions may have been interpreted by others? Would your actions have a positive or negative impact on others? Is there one thing you can start doing differently today to raise your levels of self awareness? Look for the good and positive in everyone and every situation because it is there if you dare to try. The intention we set for ourselves is the intention by which we live and treat others. Make yours a positive and uplifting one.

September 13, 2023

Chores And Responsibilities- Getting Your Kids To Clean

Getting children to do their chores is not about making our lives easier but it is about encouraging cooperation and responsibility. Our children were given tasks to do from when they were little. It started off with putting their toys away after playing and taking their plates and cups to the kitchen. They now make the beds, keep their rooms tidy and ensure that their clothes and bags are ready for school the next day. How do you get your children to do their part though, without putting up a fight? Here are some tips for getting your kids involved: Start early. Parents should try giving their children household responsibilities when they are young. They can begin to help you with small chores like keeping their books tidy on the shelf or putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Most toddlers love to help their parents. Parents should take advantage of this desire and give their children small and simple tasks. As children get older they should then be given more challenging tasks. Demonstrate. Children need to know exactly what’s expected of them. Therefore, it is a good idea for parents to make sure their children know exactly what their chores are. Whenever you’re introducing a new task, make sure you teach your kids how to do it. Make sure you demonstrate the skills you want your children to learn from packing the dishwasher to making their beds. Set up a reward chart. If parents have trouble getting their children to do their chores, a reward system can be set up to encourage cooperation. A chart can be placed in a prominent location in the home. Parents can then put a sticker on the chart for each completed chore. You can then both decide what reward they will get for doing the chores properly over a set period. Don’t repeatedly remind or nag. Parents should try to avoid falling into the trap of continually reminding and/or nagging their children to complete their chores. Instead, parents should make sure that their children are given the sole responsibility for the completion of their chores. If a child forgets or refuses to do a chore, parents should say nothing and simply apply the consequences. Don’t do the chore for your child. If parents get frustrated and give in and do their children’s chores, children learn a number of things. First of all, children learn that their parents don’t mean what they say and will not follow through. Secondly, children learn that if they hold out long enough someone will do their chores for them. Parents should simply apply whatever consequences you have decided on until the child learns to complete the task. Provide lots of praise. Parents should always provide lots of praise and encouragement when their children make an effort to do their chores. Parents should keep praising, even after their children have been consistently doing a chore well. Offer choices. Allow your kids to have a say in the tasks they’ll be responsible for. One way to do this is to make a list all of the jobs that need to be completed, and allow each child to choose two or three age-appropriate tasks. Then, on “chore day,” you can each pick one or two cards and complete those jobs. Working together, you’ll have these tasks done in no time! Don’t expect perfection. Each job should be done to the best of the child’s abilities. That doesn’t mean it will be done the way mom would do it. Remember, the goal is to get them to participate. Help them feel good about their efforts. Gradually Increase Your Kids’ Responsibilities. As your children become more skilled in completing chores around the house, mix it up by introducing new tasks. For example, once your preteen has mastered packing the dishwasher, consider whether they are ready to unpack the dishes once washed and put them away. Teaching kids about chores not only helps them in their home life, but it will also bring about positive aspects in school as well. The skills and values learned by doing chores will benefit children throughout their lives. The results may not initially be perfect but over time, you’ll begin to see that your kids are getting better and better at the skills you’re teaching them.

September 12, 2023

Aftercare or aupair?

Weighing up the best after-school option for your child “Mothers staying at home with their children is simply no longer the viable option of years past,” says Tiffiny Thomas from Blue Bird Aupairs. As a result, parents are left with the critical decision of what to do with their precious assets in the afternoons – do they send them to aftercare or do they get an aupair? “There is no black and white when it comes to choosing an after-school solution for your child as things like budget, schedules, ages and personality need to be taken into consideration,” explains Tiffiny. She adds that even once you have made your decision, circumstances may change and you may need to seek the alternative which is why it is important to keep an open mind and make sure that you know what the pros and cons of each option are. Aftercare Pros Children get to interact with their friends in an informal surrounding If the aftercare is part of the school, they can take part in extra-mural school sports Food and snacks are generally included in the cost of aftercare If the aftercare is based at their school, your child will not have to travel on the roads without you Aftercare cons Very little (or no) supervised homework which then needs to be done in the evenings when your child is tired and less likely to concentrate Aftercare generally does not cover school holidays A full day at school can leave your child irritable and exhausted No personal, hands-on love and care Pros of an aupair Your child will get plenty of one-on-one love, care and attention An aupair can do homework with your child and spend extra time of subjects they may battle with, doubling up as a tutor Aupairs can transport your child to and from various after-school activities, which is a great help for parents (and children) with busy or unpredictable schedules and extra-mural activities that are off campus An aupair can double up as a baby sitter during the holidays Cons of an aupair It can take time for your child to get to know your aupair Not all aupairs have formal early childhood training You will need to make sure that the fridge is stocked up for afternoon lunches and be prepared to pay for other additional costs like petrol “It is important to remember that no two aftercares (or aupairs!) are the same!” says Tiffiny. She adds that you should ask lots of questions for clarity and also make sure that you align your budget in terms of what you are able/willing to spend on a monthly basis for after-school care. “Both options can be affordable, provided you shop around,” she concludes.

September 12, 2023

HOW TO UNLEASH CRITICAL THINKING THROUGH ART EDUCATION

Most good schools, whether public or private, incorporate art into their curricula – especially during the primary school years. This subject sometimes has the reputation for being the class where you can take a break from the ‘real work’, which is why its importance as a developmental tool for critical thinking isn’t well understood. But parents and teachers can use art to the great advantage of the child, if they know how important its role is and how to practically go about art education and appreciation, an education expert says. “Art incorporates all the important factors required in critical thinking – observation, reflection, interpretation and application,” says Desiree Hugo, Academic Head: Schools Division at ADvTECH, SA’s leading private education provider. “Parents of younger children know this scenario well: your child arrives home with a piece of art, you praise them for their good work, stick the artwork on the fridge, and move on. However, by taking some more time discussing what went into the construction of the work, parents can gain invaluable insight into their child’s thinking, as well as develop their ability to communicate their thinking,” she says. Hugo advises parents to ask their children specific questions about their artwork, for instance “what is that you drew there?”, “why did you decide to do this?”, “why did you choose these colours?”. “When you hear their explanations as to their thoughts, it gives you a window into their world and elevates their work from just another pretty piece to a connection and discussion opportunity. It’s important that parents take the time and make the effort to do that,” Hugo says. Teachers should also aim to guide students to create observational art if they want to develop critical thinking capacity. “If you ask someone to draw a flower, they’ll typically draw that one we all do from memory, with the circle in the middle, the little arches around the circle, and a stem with perhaps a leaf or two. But if you put a flower in front of the child along with a magnifying glass and ask them to draw what they see, you are going to find they do a greater dive into deep observation,” says Hugo. 4 PRACTICAL WAYS TO USE ART TO DEVELOP CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS 1) OPEN-ENDED ART PROJECTS Provide opportunities and materials for students to freely express themselves without tight guidance or direction on expected outcomes or deliverables. This helps them assess the tools at their disposal, use their imagination and problem-solving skills, and hone their craftsmanship. 2) ARTISTIC ANALYSIS Expose students to a wide range of art and lead in-depth discussions about their observations. What do they think the artist was thinking, why do they think certain choices were made in creating the artwork, how does the art make them feel, what do they see in the art? This develops their visual processing skills, linking them up to their analytical skills. 3) COMBINE ART AND STORIES Extend the art lesson by tasking students with developing stories based on their work. These stories can include characters and character development, plotlines, and inspiration for follow-up art. 4) COMBINE ART AND ACADEMICS Maths problems have long been approached by drawing a simple sketch of the problem at hand. This can be extended to various other subjects, by asking students to create a visual representation of the matter before them, as well as their proposed solution. This helps them visualise the problem and helps with brainstorming all while exercising creative muscles. “Imagine believing that children have the ability to express themselves in more than one way. Now times that by 100, if they are given the tools and encouragement to extend their potential range,” says Hugo. She notes that Loris Malaguzzi, founder of the Reggio Emilia Approach, described the “infinite ways that children can express, explore, and connect their thoughts, feelings and imaginings” as follows: “These languages (the Hundred Languages of Children) are symbolic and are open to the endless potentials in children. They believe in the potential of a child’s ability to wonder. It is the belief that there are “multiple ways of seeing and multiple ways of being.” “A high quality, holistic academic offering will consider this approach to all learning, to ensure students build critical thinking skills, while being offered opportunities to inquire and develop creative theories.”

September 12, 2023

A Principal’s Guide to Exam Season – Tips for parents, teachers and learners

The final exam season of the year is almost here, and it’s not unusual for a sense of dread to creep in. It’s not just the learners who are under duress; exam time can be stressful for families and the school community. Parents and teachers want to provide the right support, but it’s not always clear what that should be. For Mark Anderson, Principal of Koa Academy, the 2023 exam season is a milestone event. It’s the year that the high engagement online school has its first Grade 12 cohort writing Matric exams. He says, “There’s typically pressure all-round when it comes to Matric. Learners and their parents feel that there’s a young person’s future at stake, while Matric results are regarded as a critical indicator of a school’s academic rigour impacting on the institution’s track record and reputation. So, everyone wants to see outstanding performances across the board. It’s important to recognise these high expectations upfront and put them into a proper perspective. There’s a certain degree of stress and pressure that is useful for driving performance, but if this becomes too much, it makes it impossible for even the most diligent of students to do their best. It’s about navigating a high-stakes time by finding balance.” Hands off or on? How involved should parents be? There’s such a wide range of parent-child relationships in diverse family contexts that it is impossible to find one-size-fits-all advice. What’s true though, is that during exam season, most parents find themselves treading fine lines. Mark says, “It can help for parents to think of their involvement during exam time in terms of the optimal role they could play. In my view, this is about supportive accountability. For instance, instead of seeing their role as a driver of their child’s performance or staying completely in the background, parents are more effective as their child’s primary supporter. This means taking a keen interest but not taking over. It helps learners when their parents hold them accountable in an appropriate way. Your child should have the space to take ownership of their own study schedule and goal setting. Checking in regularly though demonstrates your interest in their progress and their roadblocks which is supportive and motivational.” Parents also play an important role in facilitating an optimal study environment over exam season. It’s not just about the studying. To perform at their peak, your child needs to study in comfort, sleep sufficiently, eat healthily, exercise daily, interact socially and take breaks so that they can recharge. Parents can help by keeping their focus on their child’s well-being and encouraging healthy habits. In some families, parents can also play an important role in reducing distractions and household obligations, while monitoring procrastination which can lead to stressful, fruitless cramming before an exam. Mark says, “Parents will want to be the champions of consistency and balance during exam season. If your child is sitting up studying desperately until two in the morning, that’s a red flag, not a sign of dedication and determination. We perform at our peak when we are well-prepared and confident, and you can’t give your best when you are exhausted and anxious.” Who’s the teacher? Teachers play a critical role over exam season in preparing learners and keeping perspective. Typically, teachers cover study skills, exam techniques and providing opportunities for test practice. Mark says, “It’s important for parents of learners in online schools to realise that they don’t suddenly need to become their child’s teacher. At Koa, our teachers work in small 8-person Pods and they are well-positioned to individually coach each learner through the exam preparation stage.” Advice for learners – keeping things in perspective Mark says, “Keep perspective, exams are not a sudden disruption to your school year, they are just part of the learning cycle. Everything you do throughout a school year works towards your performance in an exam. Working consistently on your classwork, courses and projects throughout the year is all learning and preparation that leads you to writing the exams. That’s why consistency wins the day. So, it is important not to see exam season as a surprise or once-off, or even disassociated event. Exams are embedded in your learning, and therefore your long-term effort pays off best at exam time.” What’s also important for learners who are feeling like their whole future is at stake during exam time, is to realise that things are not that simplistic. Life is long, people’s futures take many interesting turns, and the world is full of solutions. Many parents have experienced this reality first hand and bringing that perspective during exam time can lift our eyes and relieve unnecessary expectations or pressure, while still striving for your best. If you feel overwhelmed during the upcoming exam season, it’s important to reach out to a supportive parent, teacher or friend. Remember, you are more important than any mark. Discover Koa Academy, visit www.koacademy.com

September 12, 2023

Hygiene Habits Made Fun with Hygiene Heroes!

What is Hygiene Heroes? No child should miss school over an illness that’s easily preventable, but unfortunately, that’s something that happens every day. Practicing good hygiene habits can ensure kids stay healthier and don’t miss out on their education. Teaching kids basic hygiene lessons is simple and fun with Hygiene Heroes! This free platform, presented by Unilever and the Dept. of Basic Education, helps children learn all about handwashing, toilet hygiene and oral care through animated videos, quizzes and interactive games. Fighting Germs the Fun Way Teach your little ones’ hygiene habits the fun way through our collection of games and activities! Their journey starts with our animated videos – where colourful characters teach practical hygiene habits that kids can easily understand. Afterwards, the Hygiene Heroes platform offers quick quizzes to test their knowledge. The real fun begins with the germ dodging game. To play, simply use the up and down arrows to collect virtual coins and avoid bumping into the evil germs that cause illnesses! As your kids keep playing and improve their skills, their scores will climb, allowing them to compete with their friends. Watch your kids climb the leader board as they learn hygiene habits. Then watch them bring those habits home and school, where they’ll fight real germs and avoid real illnesses! Win with Hygiene Heroes! Enjoying Hygiene Heroes? Show us how your child is doing! Visit Hygiene Heroes Here Share a photo of your child or children playing #HygieneHeroes & tag @unileversa for your chance to WIN R10 000 cash PLUS your share of: Unilever Product Hampers worth R1000 Grocery Vouchers worth R500 1G Data bundles

September 12, 2023

Bedtime – How much sleep should your child be getting?

More and more research points towards the importance of sleep for children’s health, academic performance, and behaviour. Although this may seem apparent, many of us actually do not allow our children to get the critical sleep they need to develop and function properly. It’s certainly not something we do on purpose. But with parents working long hours, packed school schedules, after-school activities, and other lifestyle factors, naps are missed, bedtimes are pushed back, mornings start earlier and nights may be anything but peaceful. Missing naps or going to bed a little late may not seem like a big deal, but it all adds up, with consequences that may last a lifetime. “Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm. It recharges your brain’s battery, increasing one’s brainpower and attention span, as well as allowing you to be physically relaxed and mentally alert at the same time. Then and only then can you function at your personal best.” as stated by Paediatrician Marc Weissbluth. Signs of sleep-related problems may show up in a number of ways with kids, including daytime sleepiness, weakened immune systems, inattention, poor concentration, moodiness, behavioural problems, weight gain, irregular social skills and poor academic performance. According to Dr Avi Sadeh, a loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to the loss of two years of cognitive maturation and development. To understand the critical nature of sleep to our children’s growth and development, let’s take a look at the essentials needed for healthy sleep and what interventions we can put in place in our homes to encourage better sleep routines. Essentials of Healthy Sleep Healthy sleep allows for optimal alertness when we are awake. This is the state in which we are most receptive to and interactive with our environment – when our attention span is at its best and the most learning can occur. You can see this in a child who is calm and attentive, pleasant, wide eyed, absorbing everything, and socially interacts with ease. Altered states of alertness interfere with a child’s learning and behaviour. Healthy sleep thus requires: Sufficient amounts of sleep to grow, develop, and function optimally. How much is right for your child varies by age. Uninterrupted (good quality) sleep allows good growth and development of the body’s nervous system. The proper number of age-appropriate naps optimize alertness, learning and development. Naps serve a different purpose to that of night time sleep, but are as important. Thus timing is essential, making sure they are planned and in sync with your child’s natural biological rhythms. A sleep schedule that is in sync with the child’s natural biological rhythms(internal clock or circadian rhythm). This allows for effective restoration and long term memory development, but being out of sync can lead to difficulty falling asleep or simply staying awake. Children then become overly tired and stressed. So it is important your child’s sleep needs are met and that you adjust your schedule to be in sync with theirs. If, over time, any of these essentials are not optimal, symptoms of sleep deprivation and fatigue may occur. How can we help our kids get the proper amount of sleep? Limit bedtime activities- a routine of relaxing activities like reading or listening to classical music can help most children sleep better. Make sure all electronics are removed to avoid further stimulation. Establish a sleep schedule- similar to routine activities, experts recommend consistent times to go to sleep and wake, ideally not differing much during the week or on weekends. Create a Conducive Environment- children will sleep faster and deeper when the room is dark, quiet and cool. Promote Regular Exercise- A minimum of 60 minutes of physical activity for children each day can yield many benefits, including better sleep. Limit Caffeine- it’s advisable to limit all forms of caffeine, particularly late in the day, which includes tea, soda and chocolate. Avoid late afternoon or Early Evening naps- later naps can result in later bedtimes and less critical sleep for older children. As parents, it is our responsibility to be sensitive to and protect our children’s sleep, just as we do their safety. We are primarily responsible for their sleep habits so it is important to start healthy ones early; it is much easier to instil good habits than correct bad ones. Thus infuse the importance of sleep with daily attention to it and you will likely have a happier, self-assured, less demanding, and more sociable child. And who knows, you might just get some more sleep yourself! Written By: Danielle Forsyth (Trinityhouse Heritage Hill, Educational Psychologist)

September 11, 2023

5 SYMPTOMS OF SEPARATION ANXIETY IN BABIES

Affinity Health, a leading provider of high-quality health cover, discusses separation anxiety in babies, the triggers and causes, and the five symptoms to look out for. It also provides helpful tips for parents on easing separation anxiety in their little ones. “Separation anxiety is a natural milestone in a baby’s journey of attachment and growth”, says Murray Hewlett, CEO of Affinity Health. “By understanding their needs, providing reassurance, and fostering a nurturing environment, parents can guide their tots through this phase with love and understanding”. What is Separation Anxiety? Separation anxiety in babies refers to the distress and unease experienced by infants when separated from their primary caregiver, usually a parent. It typically begins around six to seven months old, peaking between 10 to 18 months, and gradually subsides as the child ages and develops a stronger sense of security. Triggers for separation anxiety can vary from child to child, but everyday situations include the following. Leaving your baby with a new caregiver. Starting daycare. Moving Home. The loss of a parent or caregiver. Changes in routines that disrupt their sense of familiarity. It is important to note that separation anxiety is a normal response and does not indicate any underlying issues or problems with the child or caregiver. Factors that Contribute to the Development of Separation Anxiety in Babies The following are several factors that contribute to the development of separation anxiety in babies. Cognitive Development: As infants grow, they develop object permanence, which is the understanding that objects or people continue to exist even when out of sight. This newfound awareness can lead to anxiety when the primary caregiver is absent. Attachment: Strong emotional bonds between infants and their caregivers are formed during the early months of life. When the caregiver is absent, the baby may experience separation anxiety due to their attachment and reliance on them for comfort and security. Sensitivity: Some infants may have a naturally more sensitive temperament, making them more prone to experiencing separation anxiety. Environmental Factors: Significant life changes, like moving to a new home or the birth of a sibling, can disrupt the baby’s sense of security and trigger separation anxiety. Parental Anxiety: Babies are highly attuned to their parent’s emotions. If a parent feels anxious or uneasy about leaving their child, it can be transmitted to the baby, exacerbating their anxiety. Five Common Signs of Separation Anxiety in Babies Identifying the symptoms of separation anxiety can help parents better understand their baby’s needs and provide appropriate support. Here are five common signs to look out for. Clinging Behaviour: Infants with separation anxiety may become clingier and more reluctant to be separated from their caregiver, even for brief periods. Crying and Distress: Babies experiencing separation anxiety may cry excessively and become inconsolable when their caregiver is out of sight or leaves the room. Fear of Strangers: Infants may display fear or wariness when approached by unfamiliar people, seeking comfort and reassurance from their primary caregiver. Sleep Problems: Separation anxiety can disrupt a baby’s sleep patterns, causing difficulty falling asleep or waking up frequently at night. Regression: Some babies may exhibit signs of regression, such as reverting to previously outgrown behaviours, like thumb-sucking or bedwetting. Tips for Parents To help parents ease their baby’s separation anxiety, Affinity Health provides the following tips. Start by leaving your baby with a familiar caregiver for short periods and gradually increase the duration of separation over time. Establish a consistent daily routine that includes predictable times for separation and reunions. This helps the baby develop a sense of security and predictability. Babies can pick up on their parent’s emotions. Remaining calm, reassuring, and positive when leaving or returning can help alleviate their anxiety. Provide a special toy or blanket that carries the familiar scent of the caregiver. This transitional object can provide comfort and security when the caregiver is absent. Practice short separations while staying within sight. For example, you can leave the room for a few moments and then return, gradually increasing the distance and time apart. Transparency is critical when easing separation anxiety in your little one. Instead of sneaking away, honesty is the best approach. Take a moment to say goodbye, reassuring your baby that you’ll be back soon. When you return, greet your child with a warm smile and a loving hug. Engage your baby in fun and interactive activities to redirect their attention and create positive associations with separation. Playing peek-a-boo or offering engaging toys can help distract them from their anxiety. Foster your baby’s sense of independence by encouraging exploration and self-soothing. Allow them to explore their surroundings and gradually build confidence in their ability to navigate their environment. Reach out to other parents or join support groups to share experiences and strategies for managing separation anxiety. Connecting with others who have gone through or are going through similar challenges can provide valuable insights and support. “It is important to remember that separation anxiety is a temporary phase and will naturally diminish as your baby grows older and develops more self-assurance”, adds Hewlett. “By implementing these tips and providing a nurturing and supportive environment, parents can help their babies navigate separation anxiety more easily”.

September 11, 2023

How to improve your Child’s Decision-Making skills

What is Decision-Making? Decision making is an invaluable skill, especially when your children start to make independent choices. It is an ability that benefits throughout their lives. More often, it will be their independent choices which will determine the course of their lives. Decision-making is about assessing all the options available, being aware of the situation within and around you. Thus, for children to become good at decision-making, they need to learn how to assess the possibilities, be self-aware about what they need, and understand the situation they are in. For many people, both young and adults making a decision is one of the hardest and complicated things in life, as it involves numerous aspects for consideration. Many times due to a lack of self-awareness, people remain confused throughout their lives and often end up making poor choices. Considering the dynamic environment of the 21st Century and exposure to technology from an early age, thus instilling the quality of making good decisions among children is imperative. Every small or big decision an individual makes has the potential to change his/her life. “Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. “- Tony Robbins (American Author, Coach, Speaker) What are the essential skills for effective decision-making? The ability to make sound decisions requires a wide variety of skills. Below are the skills that are crucial to make your child an effective Decision-maker: Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ability to think judiciously and reasonably without being affected by anything or anyone. It is an art of analyzing something with an unbiased mindset. Effective decision-making requires critical thinking over all the possible alternatives. Individuals need to analyze the cause and effect relationship to ensure that the selected alternative has minimum or no negative impacts. Critical Thinking will enable your child to make an informed decision. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is the ability to solve problems effectively. Problem-solving skills are the basis for improvement and innovation. Children need to incorporate problem-solving skills to become a good decision-maker. Problem solving also requires critical thinking, but in addition, it is also about understanding the problem. As often, the solution is hidden within the problem itself. Creativity: Creativity is all about mixing originality with uniqueness. Creative Thinking helps us to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, decisions are to be made regarding such aspects where there is no way to know which possibility or decision is the right one. Creativity will enable your child to make sound decisions in unforeseen situations. When the logical or traditional aspects do not make sense, it is the creativity of a person that comes into play. It can be an out-of-the-box idea or an unorthodox approach to seeing things from a different perspective. “Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.”- Malcolm Gladwell Logical Reasoning: Reasoning is concerned with analyzing a problem in a logical manner to draw conclusions. It helps to identify the reason behind anything and approach towards our assessment of things logically. Sound decisions are an outcome of logical reasoning. Reasoning will help your child to assess the pros and cons of the decision they intend to make. Thinking logically and reasonably ensures that foolish options are set aside straightaway during the decision-making process. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the ability to understand and influence others’ emotions. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. There are times when we have to make hard decisions. This is when emotional Intelligence plays its role. Emotional Intelligence will help your children to manage their sentiments while making harsh decisions. Time Management: Time management is the ability to prioritize activities based on the available time. There are times when the decision is required to be taken time bound as well. In such a situation, the assessment of possible options, understanding of the situation, etc. is to be done within that time frame. When a child knows how to manage his/her time, the ability to take time-bound decisions improves. How can you improve Decision-making skills? Decision-making is one of the most significant and beneficial life skills in the 21st Century. Acquiring Decision-making skills also contributes to improving a child’s leadership ability. Decisions can transform our lives beyond imagination. Therefore, you must help your child in developing decision-making skills. Encourage Decision Making: During the day to day life, you can get multiple situations when you can allow your child to make a decision. The more opportunity a child will get to make decisions; the more his/her decision-making skills will improve. Ask Questions: Talk to your children about their thought process behind making a decision. See how they are evaluating various possibilities, in case you see one or more possibility was ignored, then ask them ‘what if this happened?’ Pay attention to how they respond and guide them in those aspects where there is a need for improvement. Discuss Your Process of Decision Making: Share with your children an incident of your life where you had to make a tough decision. Explain to them what was going on in your mind, what were the different aspects you took into consideration, etc. This way, they would feel more comfortable asking you for guidance for any of their decision. Involvement: If a certain situation in your house requires a decision to be made, make your children part of the discussion. The more involved they become, the more connected they would feel with the situation, putting them in a mindset of thinking and assessing the situation. More importantly, they would also learn from you, and they might even give you some valuable points to consider. “Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” – Jun Camp The world needs proficient Decision-makers for a bright future. Developing this skill within a child from an early age is crucial for the overall development. Creating a better generation then themselves is a responsibility of each generation. And this responsibility starts with parents itself.

September 11, 2023

MOLEY- Tunnel Buddies

Moley follows the day-to-day misadventures of Master Moley as he travels the tunnels of his secret underground realm and falls into lots of good-natured trouble along the way. But with his perseverance, resourcefulness and helpful friends, he always finds an ingenious way to dig himself out of a crisis. Whether it’s hunting down lost treasure with Mystic, entering a magical world of Manny’s creation or stopping an out-of-control Ferris wheel after Manny’s plan goes awry, Moley always has to find a way to save the day! Premiere: Saturday, 9 September @ 11:20 CAT ⏰ Tune in: Weekends @ 11:20 CAT Also available on DStv Catch Up

September 8, 2023

LUMA ANIMATION’S EXCITING NEW SCI-FI FEATURE, HEADSPACE, LANDING IN CINEMAS SEPTEMBER 2023

Indigenous Film Distribution has announced that HEADSPACE, the exciting new animation sci-fi feature from Johannesburg’s Luma Animation, will release at cinemas on 15 September 2023. Written by Ronald Henry, Daniel Buckland, Paul Meyer and Gerhard Painter, the film is co-directed by Gerhard Painter and Paul Meyer of Luma Animation (Shaka Ilembe, CGI &VFX and Kings of Joburg 2 CGi & VFX) and produced by The Ergo Company’s Dumi Gumbi (Mrs Right Guy, The Fragile King) and Catharina Weinek (Mrs Right Guy, Pou) with Luma Animation. The film starts with a freak accident, where Max, Sophie and Gus of the Space Protection Force, and their microscopic spaceship The SPF50, take up residence inside 14-year-old Norman’s brain. They can see what he sees and hear what he hears. The nanosized crime fighting aliens must enlist Norman’s help to save earth from Zolthard, an evil intergalactic villain who has taken control of principal Witherington. Norman and the aliens, together with his friends from school must go to great lengths to conceal the presence of alien life at their high school, all the while fighting the galactic struggle between good and evil. After all, Zolthard still has a school to run, and Norman still has a life to live and homework to hand in! Headspace introduces a host of interesting and colourful characters, both human and alien, who are sure to resonate with audiences globally and become firm favourites. The camaraderie between humans and aliens in this classic story of the triumph of good over evil, produces the most unlikely of heroes who ultimately save the day. “At the heart of our vision for Luma Animation and for Headspace, is the notion that everyone deserves to be the hero of their own story, not forgetting that ultimately, we rely on the support of friends and collaborators to triumph,” commented Paul Meyer and Gerhard Painter. Having been exposed to the very best animation available from Pixar and Disney, films like Lion King, Toy Story, and Finding Nemo, the filmmakers were inspired to create films of the same quality in South Africa, thereby, adding their fresh voices to the global animation marketplace. Like the films that inspired it, Headspace is perfect family fare. “It was our dream to make an action-packed, delightful, funny, and family-orientated 3-D animation film celebrating South African talent,” say the filmmakers. The characters in Headspace are voiced by some of the country’s finest talents including Bonko Khoza (The Wife), Zak Henrikz (An Act of Defiance), Nelisa Ngcobo (The Queen), Chris van Rensburg (Huis van Liefde), Michelle du Plessis (Koelpixels), Jana Louw (Shrek: The Musical), Sparky Xulu and 11-year-old Dineo du Toit (Kiya and the Kimoja Heroes). This first animation feature film by Luma Animation and The Ergo Company will definitely leave audiences blown away! View trailer here: Indigenous Film Distribution : www.indigenousfilm.co.za Luma Animation : www.luma.co.za

September 8, 2023

Webinar – breastfeeding positions

Sr Ingrid Groenewald explains the different breastfeeding positions that you can try to have a successful Breastfeeding journey, as well as the latch baby, should have.

September 8, 2023

Note Taking – What is the best note taking ideas for primary school kids?

Note-taking is an essential skill that helps students organize and retain information. For primary school kids, developing effective note-taking strategies can lay a strong foundation for their academic success. Here are some of the best note-taking ideas for primary school kids. Firstly, visual aids can greatly enhance note-taking. Encouraging children to use drawings, diagrams, and charts to represent information can help them better understand and remember concepts. This technique also appeals to their creativity and makes learning more enjoyable. Secondly, teaching kids how to use keywords is crucial. By underlining or highlighting important words or phrases in their notes, they can easily identify key points when reviewing later on. Additionally, using different colors for different subjects or topics can aid in organization and retrieval of information. Furthermore, mind maps are an excellent tool for young learners. By creating a central idea and branching out with related subtopics, children can visually connect ideas and see the relationships between them. This method promotes critical thinking skills while making note-taking more interactive. Lastly, encouraging active listening during class is vital for effective note-taking. Kids should be taught to listen attentively and jot down important details rather than trying to write everything verbatim. This way, they focus on understanding concepts rather than simply transcribing information. In conclusion, developing good note-taking habits at a young age sets primary school kids up for academic success in the future. Visual aids, keywords, mind maps, and active listening are all effective strategies that help children organize information effectively while fostering critical thinking skills. By implementing these techniques early on in their education journey, we empower our young learners with valuable tools that will serve them well throughout their academic careers. Note taking in general… Note taking is a fundamental skill that has been practiced for centuries. From ancient scholars to modern students, the act of jotting down important information during lectures or while reading has proven to be invaluable in retaining knowledge. The art of note taking involves actively engaging with the material, filtering out key points, and organizing them in a concise and understandable manner. One of the main benefits of note taking is its ability to enhance comprehension and retention. By writing down information, we are forced to process it in our own words, which aids in understanding complex concepts. Additionally, notes serve as a reference point for future review, allowing us to revisit important details without having to go through lengthy texts or lectures again. Note taking promotes active learning by keeping our minds focused and attentive during class or study sessions. It encourages us to listen actively and think critically about the material being presented. Moreover, notes can be customized according to individual learning styles, making them an effective tool for personalizing the learning experience. In addition to aiding comprehension and active learning, note taking also fosters organization skills. By categorizing information into headings or subheadings, we create a structured framework that facilitates easy retrieval when needed. This organizational aspect not only helps with studying but also improves overall productivity by providing a clear roadmap for revisiting topics efficiently. Note taking is an essential practice that enhances comprehension, promotes active learning, and fosters organization skills. Whether it is capturing ideas from a lecture or summarizing key points from a book chapter, this age-old technique continues to be an indispensable tool in acquiring knowledge effectively.

September 8, 2023

What are period panties

Since launching Blushproof® – friends, family, strangers – they all ask the same question, “What the heck are period panties?!?”. This was especially true more than two years ago when I started researching the product. I’ve always hated pads and tampons and as I was starting peri-menopause, I was dreading using these products sporadically. That’s when I came across period panties. Amazingly, there was a store in Joburg importing them from the US. I had to try them!! It turned out, they were much better than I expected. These looked and felt like normal panties but had an additional 3 layers sewn into the gusset or crotch. They were perfect for my sometimes hectically heavy and sometimes non-existent flow. Where were these when I was younger? It was after trialing them for a few months that I decided South Africans needed to know about this amazing invention and I also decided that I wanted to be one of the ones to educate the “masses”. Of course, I could have gone the easy route and simply applied to be a distributor but the overseas products were just too costly for our South African market and I wanted to make something PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN. I could have also simply imported the Chinese brands but they didn’t meet my high standards in terms of quality and absorption. Enter Blushproof® period panties – or ANY absorbing panties for that matter! They’re generally made with a “shell” which is the actual panty and a gusset which is the absorbing part. This absorbing part has 3 layers: The first layer touches your skin and is made of wicking fabric which draws your flow away from your body and into the gusset; The second layer is made of absorbing fabric (think Glodina bath towels but MUCH thinner) which absorbs your flow; and The third layer is a very thin waterproofing layer which stops your flow from leaking through onto your panties and clothes / bed sheets / you name it (we’ve all been there). After about a year of research, I found the right fabrics for the job and started importing them from the US and Taiwan (sadly, we don’t make these fabrics in SA). Why I chose these specific fabrics was because of their certification in terms of being anti-bacterial, anti-odour, moisture wicking, hypoallergenic, free of nasty chemicals and sustainably made – all things that are key in absorbing panties. People want to know that what they’re putting close to their vagina is not going to irritate, cause smells or lead to infections – so the right fabrics are essential. From there it was days and nights and many tears spent on designing styles and trying to get sizing right – what a challenge – but worth it to see that we now have something for everyone in our beautiful Rainbow Nation. There’s been a massive uptick in people starting to know about period panties and in different suppliers entering the market (although most are imported from China, which is fine too) and I’m starting to find that people actually know what I’m talking about without me having to first explain. So, why are Blushproof® period panties so amazing? They completely replace disposable sanitary pads and tampons. No more products ending up in landfills (did you know pads take 500+ years to biodegrade so the first pad you ever used is still out there somewhere?! EEUUWW – just saying). Another EEUUWW fact is that, in South Africa, used sanitary pads are being fished out of landfills and used for “muti”, but I digress. I get asked all sorts of questions like, “Do they last all day?”, “Surely they’re not for very heavy flow?”, “Isn’t it gross to carry the worn pair around in your bag?”, “What about the blood?”. Whenever something is new and requires a different mindset, generally, consumers will be weary (and in some cases, horrified!). In actual fact, they’re very easy to “use”. You’ll be wearing a pair of period panties and have a spare pair in your leakproof storage bag which you’ll keep in your gym bag, school bag, handbag. If, at some stage in the day, they start to feel wet (they actually feel dry until they’re “full”), then you’ll go to the bathroom, remove the worn pair and put on the spare pair of blushproofs. The worn pair will be safely stored in your leakproof pouch until you get home where you can rinse them before hand washing them or popping them into a mesh laundry bag and into the machine. Blushproofs can be worn, rinsed, washed and hang out to dry, ready for the next use. If looked after correctly, they can last for at least two years (I know this because my first customer that bought Blushproofs for her daughter in August 2021 is still using them AND they’re still in perfect condition). They come in a variety of styles, sizes (ranging from tweens aged 10 to plus sizes 3XL) and absorbencies (from light to super). We’re talking from the Thong with light absorbency which is used for spotting or as a backup to your menstrual cup or tampon, saving you from having to use panty-liners to the super absorption Hi-waist style for maximum coverage and absorption. We even have a Period Swim Bikini bottom which can be used during swimming so that girls and women don’t have to miss out on pool & beach time just because it’s that time of the month. I also always get asked, “But what about the cost?”. Yes, they are an investment but in actual fact, once you’ve bought a few pairs, you’re set for the next two+ years AND you’ll save about 40% compared to what you’d spend on normal pads (never mind the organic ones). You also won’t have to worry about dashing out to buy single-use products each month and you won’t be adding to the landfills and water systems. Culturally, period panties still have a long way to go in terms of

September 7, 2023

Seasonal Wellness & Immune Boosters for the Family

We live a fast-paced modern lifestyle where all too often we neglect our health and well-being by not aligning with the correct nutritional support needed to keep our immune systems healthy and functioning, increasing our risk of infections, diseases, and aging. Together with seasonal changes and incremental doses of daily stress we further compromise our immune system, metabolism, mood, allergies, weight, and overall health before we even leave our front door to start our day. Stress reduces your ability to fight viral infections and cancer by up to 50% and acute stress increases the number of neutrophils, which are involved in inflammation and tissue damage by up to 300% increasing the risk of developing autoimmune diseases, such as rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis, according to the journal Nature Immunology and the Cleveland Clinic. Winter lowers our body temperature, reduces our exposure to sunlight, increases our appetite and decreases our physical activity, all of which lead to lower levels of vitamin D, melatonin, and serotonin in our body, increasing our risk of infections such as colds and flu, as well as respiratory problems, like asthma and bronchitis. Similarly, Spring can trigger allergies and hay fever from the high pollen count in the air. While Summer and Autumn can improve our mood, we must be aware of the risks of dehydration, heat exhaustion, food poisoning, hormonal imbalance, insulin resistance, mood swings and weight gain or loss. We can ensure a better future for our health naturally when we support ourselves and our family with the range of immune boosters and vitamin care from NOW Foods®, which work from the inside out – where it most counts. Simple Steps for Natural Health There is no need to beat yourself up or feel guilty about bad lifestyle habits and nutritional gaps in your diet; add one good habit to your daily routine by topping up with feel-good natural health support every morning to boost your immune system and protect you against seasonal sickness every day of the year. Supplementing with a quality natural immune booster for adults and kids provides the essential nutrients that we may not be getting from food, such as vitamins, minerals, omega-3 fatty acids, probiotics and antioxidants which help us to address specific health concerns and goals. Try NOW Foods® Daily Vits (R219), a vitamin and mineral supplement for hard-working Moms and Dads. Just one capsule a day provides a fruit and veggie blend with Lutein and Lycopene multiple vitamins to help bridge the nutrient gap in our daily diets, filling in the areas lacking in your diet to ensure a broad range of nutritional health; and NOW Kids® Kid Vits (R399) a daily two-a-day chewable vitamin for kids, that support immune health and adds nutrients for bone health and overall well-being. NOW Foods® delivers battle-tested health and wellness supplementation that is competitively priced, and soundly formulated with high-quality natural ingredients that actually save you money. Backed by scientific research, human trials, and multiple certifications from independent organisations, together with strict manufacturing standards, all NOW Foods® ingredients are tested for purity, potency, and identity, and are true to what is listed on the packaging. When you choose NOW Foods®, you are saying yes to high-quality clean ingredients following their global innovation and experience in the health food and supplement industry. For NOW Foods®, natural means products as close to nature as possible, formulated without artificial ingredients and minimally processed. To demonstrate its commitment to natural products, NOW has earned a Good Manufacturing Practices (GMP) certification from the Natural Products Association (NPA) and is also a member of the NPA’s TruLabel Program. NOW’s dedication to testing raw materials through finished products sets them apart and ultimately meets its mission of supporting people to live healthier lives. Being prepared for the season ahead is forethought in action. Start the daily habit of boosting your body for optimum health and energy NOW so you are ready to sail through every stressful or seasonal change. NOW FOODS® IMMUNE SUPPORT GUIDE: WHOLE BODY FUNCTION: Comprehensive Care: Our patented Allibiotic formulation offers a comprehensive herbal combination for a healthy immune system. NOW Foods® AlliBiotic CF™ (R469) is an immune booster formulated with garlic extract, elderberry, olive leaf extract and oregano oil to promote overall wellness. It features a patented formula, ImmunEnhancer™, a prebiotic supplement for supporting healthy intestinal flora, a key component of normal immune function. Respiratory & Immune Health: Quercetin with Bromelain (R749) is a naturally occurring free radical scavenger that supports a healthy seasonal immune system. This complementary combination promotes year-round respiratory health and supports overall seasonal comfort. Bromelain has a long history of use by herbalists and is known to help balance the immune system’s response to environmental challenges. Respir-All with Quercetin (R699.95), Vitamin C, Nettle Extract and Bromelain combines key vitamins, minerals and herbal extracts that nutritionally support healthy respiratory function so you can breathe easy and get your day done. Healthy Liver and Brain: N-acetyl cysteine (NAC) (R449) is a free radical protector with selenium and Molybdenum for cellular health – your protective shield and wellness all-star! NOW’s NAC antioxidant support offers a versatile supplement that promotes overall wellness. It maintains healthy glutathione levels, supports respiratory and bronchial health, supports liver health, and promotes brain function and overall immune support. Metabolism for Skin Health: Biotin 5000mcg (R199), also called Vitamin B7, is necessary for normal growth and body function. All B vitamins help the body to convert food (carbohydrates) into fuel (glucose), which is used to produce energy. They help the body metabolize fats and protein. Like all B vitamins, Biotin is water-soluble, meaning the body does not store it. Biotin forms an essential part of B complex vitamins that are needed for healthy skin, hair, eyes, and liver and help the nervous system function properly. Feel Good Stress Relief: Ashwagandha 450mg (R339.00) is an Ayurvedic Adaptogen used as an “adaptogen”, helping your body adapt to typical daily stress. It promotes relaxation and can promote better overall sleep quality, something everyone needs more

September 7, 2023

Supporting Your Child’s Free Play

Play skills, similar to other developmental skills, progress in complexity with time and practice. Caregiver support and their role in nurturing a child’s free play skills changes and evolves throughout the play stages. Free play allows for the development of various physical, cognitive, language and socio-emotional skills, but also contributes greatly to children’s health and well-being. Free play, with minimal adult interference, will provide them with the opportunity to work on various skills including: problem solving, creative thinking, flexible thinking, initiative and grit, self-regulation skills, working memory, sustained focus, physicality and can provide them with an opportunity to have some quiet time to soothe and calm themselves. Free play with a playmate can further see them developing various socio-emotional skills including: self-expression, negotiation, compromise, perspective taking and empathy. Important skills for the future, wouldn’t you say…? Some children are natural players, skilled at independent free play and can shift easily between free play, screens and other home activities and tasks. Other children, however, may need more support and guidance to help them to play more independently and become captains of their own play adventures. During free play a child can create, direct and adapt the play activity and play script as they engage in their play adventure. Free play is intrinsically motivated, spontaneous, not limited by a certain set of rules or directives and not necessarily reality bound. If you have a little one that requires support in developing their free play skills, have a look at some of my top tips for free play: Make free play part of your daily routine. Create a safe and calm play space, preferably screen free, that won’t interfere with the flow of their play. Don’t overwhelm with too many toys and objects. Rotate items in boxes and containers, keep a few favourites close and include open ended toys and objects, such as wooden blocks or empty boxes. After your child chooses a play prompt (or you have provided them with a few choices), allow them time and space for their idea to form. Don’t be too quick to offer your own ideas and try to limit the “adult agenda” when it comes to free play. Offer encouragement and support, but try not to ask too many questions at the start while their idea is developing. Children need a longer time to process information and for their ideas to take shape. Asking too many questions too early on may discourage them. For more tips, information and demonstrations on developing and supporting play throughout the play stages as well as other areas of child development, come join our online PlayMore platform. Visit: www.playmoreot.com or our social media platforms @playmoreot on Instagram and Playmoreot on Facebook for more information. Let’s PlayMore! Anandé from PlayMore

September 7, 2023

Help! My child has no friends

We all have a need to love and be loved. Our lives feel happier and more fulfilled when we enjoy positive human relationships. Having friends who we can laugh and cry with, be serious or a little crazy with, and with whom we can feel completely comfortable is one of the most fundamentally important needs of the human race. This is why it feels so heart-breaking when we discover that our children may be struggling to make friends at school. Cindy Glass, Co-founder and Director of afterschool remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centre says “There are a number of reasons why a child may struggle to form positive friendships – negative behavioural choices, low self-esteem, personality differences, differing belief systems and unintentionally negative body language or tone of voice. Escapism from social interactions through over-use of technology also plays a big role in this!” “We need to note that all behavioural choices are based on how we feel about ourselves as a person and the inevitable fears that dominate these beliefs. Creating meaningful personal relationships is rooted in positive self-belief. Negative, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours often repel friendships and, unfortunately, this re-enforces the feelings of unworthiness and low self-value that created the negative behaviours in the first place” Cindy goes on to say. If your child is struggling to form friendships, you may want to consider the following helpful tips: 1. Ensure that you keep the lines of non-judgemental communication open. Chat about what happens at school, openly and honestly. Emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness and self-regulation are key here! Make sure that you do not re-enforce your child’s belief that he/she is less! Focus on their strengths and what others will like about them. They may, indeed, be a little different, but never less! 2. Chat to your child’s teacher with the aim of gaining a deeper understanding of your child’s behaviours at school. 3. Friendships cannot be forced. It takes positive mind-set and behavioural changes in your child if changes are to be enjoyed at school. Teach your child to focus on his/her choices and not on the choices of others. It takes patience and time but you will be amazed at the results! 4. People enjoy the company of positive happy individuals. Teach your child the joys of uplifting others. This will change the energy that your child gives off and other children will start looking to your child for a friendship that feels good to be in. 5. Emotional intelligence’s empathy and social skills will play a vital role in changing the way your child perceives himself/herself to be. Invest in these courses! “Finally, remember that children copy your actions, not your words! Set the example of how to treat others in positive, uplifting ways. Teach your children to own who they are-mistakes and all- and to value others because they value themselves first!” Cindy concludes.

September 6, 2023

Choosing a Baby Sitter

Choosing a baby sitter for your children can be a very daunting task. You need to find someone trustworthy, who is the right fit for your children.

September 6, 2023

BOUNCE INTO SEPTEMBER WITH THE NQOBA CHALLENGE

Now in its second year, the Nqoba Challenge is a ‘must’ for the family calendar! Hosted by HeronBridge College, a Curro Select school located in Fourways, and powered by Planet Fitness, the Nqoba Challenge is a fun-filled obstacle course for families that takes place on 16 September 2023. Whether you are a family with little ones wanting a fun day out, the cool uncle wanting to race your nephews over giant inflatables, or the competitive family who wants to challenge your friends, this event is just for you! The obstacle course will be run through the HeronBridge College grounds, which are situated along the Jukskei river, and participants can expect a range of exciting under and over challenges. Obstacles range from leopard crawls and tyre jumps, balancing challenges, giant gladiator slides, inflatable walls and more. Routes are catered to families of all shapes and sizes with a 5km challenger that puts you through your paces, a 3km route for those who are still building their stamina, and a 1km option for young children who are just finding their feet. “We wanted to create an event that celebrates community, spring and all the joys that come with this time of year” says JP Lübbe, Head of the prep school at HeronBridge College. “The word ‘Nqoba’ means to overcome, and what better way to shake off winter and the challenges that we are facing as a nation, than with a fun-filled obstacle course just before Heritage Day!” The routes are interactive, fun, and peppered with hydration stations to keep everyone refreshed. An array of entertainment is on offer at the finish, with a host of vendors, jumping castles, music, spot prizes and more. Don’t miss out on this one-of-a-kind family day and kick off summer with the Nqoba Challenge. Entry is R30 per person and free for children under the age of 12. Visit www.howler.co.za/nqobachallenge to register. To watch the promo video for this year’s event, click here. Event details: Date: 16 September 2023 Start time: 08h00 Venue: HeronBridge College No. 36 on the R114, Nietgedacht, Fourways Entry: www.howler.co.za/nqobachallenge Contact: info.heronbridge@curro.co.za Website: https://www.heronbridge.co.za/events/nqoba-challenge/

September 6, 2023

QUICK TIPS FOR ENGAGING THE OLDEST CHILD

When the new baby comes home, the joy and excitement can lead to the first born child (or even just older children) feeling somewhat “dethroned” and ignored. When this occurs, it is common to see changes in that child’s behaviour; they may begin to feel jealousy toward the new arrival and in some cases, may even strike out to hurt them. Others may simulate being a baby once again by crying, talking ‘baby talk,’ and even having wetting accidents. Your challenge is to find creative ways for oldest children to feel different from their siblings and to develop a sense of value to the family by implementing the following ideas: The first tip is the BIG BROTHER or BIG SISTER buttons available at most party supply stores. They were intended to make the first born child feel special when the new baby comes home, but I love the idea so much I encourage parents to use it beyond just that one special time. Find creative ways for the oldest child to assist with the new sibling, but never leave them alone with the baby. They may be able to sing to the baby, help with the bath, or be helpful in collecting items needed for the baby’s care at the moment. Carve out time to have one-on-one time alone with the other child(ren). Set up visual schedules or timers so the older child can have something to watch for to know when their special time is approaching. You may even want to consider having special toys that only come out when mom must attend to the baby. Explore holding family meetings once a week, especially if you have school age children or older. It will promote a sense of importance among all the children and will help them feel a greater sense of respect from the parent(s). The meetings can be held on the same night of the week and everyone should be included. If one person leaves the meeting, it’s over until the next meeting. Other tips for the family meeting include keeping them brief, making them fun, and being consistent, especially if some of your children are younger. It is helpful to have everyone sitting in a circle and do your best to avoid answering the door or telephone. Doing so sends a message that the family is more important than anything else. If the oldest child can write, I suggest introducing the role of THE SCRIBE, the person who serves as the meeting secretary and takes the notes of what was decided and what was said. Preserved in a tin box in my closet is a folder of meeting minutes that were taken by my oldest child throughout the years of our family meetings. The lists of rules and decisions are presented in perfect penmanship in red crayon on white-lined paper. These documents are more valuable to me than any historical parchment paper documents I could ever own. The next time you’re facing challenging behaviour, check to see if it happens to be your oldest child. Perhaps they are trying to tell you that they don’t feel so special anymore and just need some encouragement that they still matter to you.

September 5, 2023

Why offering choices is important

One of the best ways to build up a sense of independence is to make choices. When we make our own choices, we feel some sense of control. With frequent opportunities to make our own decisions we begin to think of ourselves as ‘in power’ of at least parts of our lives. The same rings true for our youngsters. Making choices is not just an essential life skill for them, but Dr Erin Leyba says it builds respect, strengthens community, invites cooperation, develops problem-solving skills and capitalises on children’s basic human need to feel in control. How do we go about creating confident decision makers? It is a question of practice makes perfect. As many skills, you do not achieve success in the first round. By including simple choices throughout the day, your toddler will learn that he can have a say in what he chooses to eat for snack time (would you like an apple or banana?) or what to wear to school (would you like to wear the green or blue sweater today?). Here are a few golden rules to consider as you work your way to a stress-free day and empower your child to make choices on the road to becoming a confident decision maker: Choices must be limited. Offering too many options may create anxiety therefore keep it simple. Certain routine tasks are tricky especially when it comes to brushing teeth. Offer them a choice of toothbrush: would you like to use the green dinosaur or your shaking Spiderman toothbrush? Strawberry flavoured or minty toothpaste today? Sometimes adults need to tell children that there is no choice. When safety or health is at risk, it is important for the adult to say, “Choosing not to brush your teeth is not an option.” Choices must be honoured. Do not offer a choice that you cannot honour. The choices must be authentic. If you offer your two children an option of two stories, inevitably, one will choose the first story and the other child will choose the second story. This is not what you need at the end of the long day. Resolve this by offering each child the choice of story on alternate nights. Avoid being too indulgent and child-centered. “Anything you want my darling” does not offer a child sufficient boundaries that they require to feel safe which in turn is essential to developing self-assurance. As parents we are exhausted at the end of the day, it might feel like you have been in a boxing ring with your toddler. Offer them choices that will make them feel empowered and make feel like their opinions and feelings are of significance. By Bonita Nel, teacher at Pecanwood College

September 5, 2023

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