Advice from the experts
Parenting Hub

How to install your car seat and correctly strap in your child correctly for optimal safety

According to the law, children under the age of three have to be strapped in when travelling in vehicles on South African roads.  The type of seat your child needs depends on several things, including your child’s age, size, and developmental needs. Once you’ve established what car seat you’re after though, correctly installing it and knowing how to strap in your child is the next very crucial step to securing your child’s safety when in a vehicle. According to Maxi-Cosi car seat manufacturers, their seats are among the safest you can buy, but all car seats need to be fitted and used correctly for safe travel and maximum protection. Here are their top tips for car seat safety: Install car seats correctly Baby car seats must always be rear facing. If you have ISOFIX in your car use an ISOFIX car seat, it’s easy to install the seat to the anchor points. If you don’t have ISOFIX you can use a seat belt installed car seat. Make sure you know how to guide the belt correctly and pull the car seat belt tight. Make sure the seat is locked down – a simple check is to check if the car seat is moving around a fair amount, in which case it’s not installed correctly Pull the car seat’s safety harness tight. If you can just slip one finger between the harness and your child’s chest, it’s tight enough. Read the car seat manual or watch the installation video and follow the instructions carefully. Various baby stores can also install carseats for you and check that your seat Secure your child correctly Always use a car seat, even on short trips It’s obvious, and it’s the law, but we still sometimes see children travelling without a car seat. Accidents can happen, even on the shortest trips. Use a rear-facing car seat for as long as possible It’s safest for babies and toddlers to stay in a rear-facing car seat until they are at least 15 months old. It doesn’t matter if their legs stick out, but if their heads are higher than the seat shell, they need the next size. Avoid second-hand car seats You can never be sure a second-hand car seat is a safe car seat. You don’t know if it’s been damaged in an accident, or has pieces missing. Use the correct size car seat It’s best to buy a car seat for your child’s current height and weight, then buy the next size up. Avoid seats that claim to cover all ages in one. Make sure the safety harness is at the right heightThe harness should be at shoulder height.    Take your child’s coat offA thick coat can make the harness less effective. If your child is cold, use their coat as a blanket over the harness. Beware of activated frontal airbagsThe safest place for a rear-facing car seat is on the back seat, passenger side. This avoids the danger of front airbags inflating against the seat. Deactivate the front airbag if you use your car seat on the passenger seat and place this seat in the rearmost position. Make sure the safety harness straps are not twisted. Keep loose items off the rear parcel shelfIn an accident, even small loose items can turn into dangerous projectiles. Tuck them away safely. Follow these tips and enjoy lots of fun, safe outings with your child.

August 21, 2022
PowerPlastics Pool Covers

Pool safety on housing estates and gated communities

Eliminating risk and ensuring compliance  The estate lifestyle in South Africa has boomed in recent years, creating high demand for family properties on estates. While these communities are favoured for security and convenience, estate homeowners with pools have slightly different factors to consider when it comes to child safety and pool maintenance, according to PowerPlastics Pool Covers.  The most important factor for estate pools is ensuring child safety and preventing drowning accidents. In fact this is a regulatory issue, governed by the SABS through its building Standards. Where there are no individual boundary walls or fences enclosing each property in an estate, the pool can be considered a drowning risk.  According to the safety Standard (SANS 10134), pool safety must be provided on each property. The most effective way to address this is with the SABS-certified PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover that comes with a safety certificate. A homeowner can be asked to prove compliance at any time, including when selling the property.  PowerPlastics Pool Covers was the original company to design what is now the best-selling solid safety cover in South Africa. Compared to other safety methods like fences or nets, this cover forms a complete barrier over the water, allowing for safety as well as reduced maintenance costs.  Water saving and water management becomes important where estates are developed around natural ecosystems and residents have sustainability to consider too. One can’t simply let backwash pool water drain into the ecosystem as the chlorine poses a threat to the natural ecosystem. Either the chlorine must be greatly reduced or eliminated, or the waste water must be dealt with in via another responsible process.  In summer, the average pool can lose up to 105 litres a day to evaporation. With a solid safety cover, evaporation is curtailed almost entirely, and chlorine demand can be reduced too, given that the water is kept clear of dirt and debris. Pump time can also be decreased, allowing for power savings. The cover ticks all the boxes on child safety as well as sustainability.  Compared to the old covers and nets that used hooks and eyelets, the cover is simple to use. It can also be semi-automated for further convenience. The cover supports 220kg and uses a baton and ratchet system to create the tension with no fiddly hooks and eyes. A range of colours allow it to blend in with the home’s outdoor area. There is also an option to print custom content on the cover, such as graphics and photos for user-inspired flair. It is important to note that pools with elaborate designs and features can be tricky to cover with a solid safety cover. The decking or coping should not be restricted by rocks, fountains and flower beds. However, PowerPlastics Pool Covers has a Special Projects team that can design covers for these trickier pools.  Order your pool cover today and don’t take chances. Anyone can drown, no one should!  Learn more about the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover https://powerplastics.co.za/powerplastics-solid-safety-cover/  Get valuable safety tips from TopStep, the home of pool safety – a PowerPlastics Pool Covers educational resource for drowning prevention and pool safety. www.topstep.co.za  You can also download the TopStep Child Drowning Prevention Handbook.  If you need a better understanding of the safety compliance regulations, contact PowerPlastics Pool Covers who will take you through it. www.powerplastics.co.za 

August 11, 2022
Kumon

TIME MANAGEMENT FOR KIDS: HOW TO HELP YOUR KIDS EXCEL

Time management for kids is a life skill that can set them up for success. It is particularly important for children to learn time management at an early age in order to be successful in their education, as well as other areas of life. Having time management skills as a child is important because it allows them to focus on priorities and accomplish tasks without feeling overwhelmed. But how does one establish good time management skills? We put together some steps to help you work with your child to develop these essential skills. 1. Help them become aware of their time It’s important to remember that time is limited. When considering all the tasks to complete, break them down into sections by prioritizing and planning. Talk with your child to help them know what is urgent and important to ensure that is where they begin. Explain the breakdown to your child to show them that time is being allotted for different topics such as school, extracurriculars, family events, etc. 2. Define priorities It helps to know what needs to or should get done. For school activities, make sure to have discussions with your child’s teachers or review the assessment information that comes home to know the main areas that need attention. Talk with your child to help them understand the importance of each task and then develop a routine that will ensure enough time is set aside for each activity. Discuss these priorities and let them know that their schedule can be made to give them time to focus on these tasks. 3. Create a schedule and develop a routine Once you have an idea of what to focus on, create a daily and weekly schedule together with your child. Make this process fun! You can do this by allowing them to work on a visual board with pictures or writing down the time slots on a calendar and colour-coding, adding stickers or decorating it with drawings. 4. Break down goals A schedule will help plan time, but what is done in that time depends on your child’s goals. Compile a checklist to encourage them to know their goals and work independently to accomplish them. For example, if your child needs to learn three new maths concepts, they may need to focus on assignments that help master them. In other words, they may need to read and practice examples in the textbook. It may even be chores that should get done after school. Plan out the goals to know what to focus on in the timeframe. This will help them feel less overwhelmed and help to track progress for each goal. 5. Track progress and reflect on time spent As your child continues to complete tasks, track their progress to see if there are any areas for improvement or accomplishments to celebrate. Together you can reflect on what happened within the time frame to see if they need to reassess their time in the future and understand how to plan accordingly. Also, your child can see how their time well spent led to an achievement, which will encourage them to continue setting aside time and planning for future goals. 6. Celebrate even the small wins One of the biggest motivators for kids when it comes to time management is celebrating small wins. Completing tasks and becoming closer to the main goal is a huge accomplishment! Be sure to celebrate the successes by praising your child and encouraging them to continue making strides while managing their time. Seeing that their hard work resulted in something positive will make them more inclined to continue these efforts in the future. The Takeaway Time management for kids may seem like a challenge, but it is beneficial to establish this life skill early with them. Focusing on these steps when completing schoolwork is a great place to begin, as other tasks will likely fall into place throughout the process. Being able to manage time as a kid will help them feel less overwhelmed and in turn make them feel more accomplished and confident in completing tasks throughout all areas of life.  The Kumon Maths and English programmes not only help children to improve academically but also develop other life skills which including goal-setting. Should you be interested in learning more about Kumon and how it can support your child, visit www.kumon.co.za  This article is taken directly from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website:  https://www.kumon.com/resources/how-to-help-your-kids-with-time-management-skills/

August 11, 2022
Mindscape Education

Education Vs Teaching – What is the difference?

In this article, we explore these differences and how both play a role in moulding our children’s learning experience. “A child educated only at school is an uneducated child” – George Santayana 1863 – 1952, philosopher and Harvard Professor.  Ponder that for a while. What about this one – attributed to Albert Einstein (who?) but in fact, its true origins are unknown.  “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school”. These are rather deep statements, and the reason I say this is as follows. I find that many parents often think that if their child is not actively working i.e. reading or writing or learning things off by heart, then they cannot possibly be learning.  We ourselves are products of a schooling system that was one size fits all.  Everybody sat in a classroom, which had been arranged neatly in rows, and the teacher Presented material, and we Practiced the material until it was Perfect.  There is so much more to an education than what a child is taught in the classroom or the space inside your home that you have dedicated to home schooling.  The opportunities for an education are endless and present themselves on a daily basis. An education is something whereby a child is offered far more than only content and material.  An education is also about common sense (although I don’t know why it’s called common sense.  If it was indeed common, more people would have it).  Having self-awareness and awareness of others, being kind to one another.  Having empathy, compassion and respect – that’s an education.  Teaching is the imparting of facts, the transference of subject matter from a teacher to a student after which the student is tested to see how well the teacher delivered the subject matter and whether the student retained it.   We need to break out of this traditional mould and review what we value more – our kids simply being taught, or the education they receive.  Both have their place, indeed, but I’ll leave you with one more quote from the already-mentioned Mr. Einstein.  “Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think”. Disclaimer – The views expressed are that of the author C. Wickham Interested in homeschooling your child? Feel free to Mindscape Education, e-mail info@mindscapeeducation.co.za or call (+27) 11-704-0687. Visit the Mindscape Education website to find out more about our curriculum options.

July 28, 2022
The Bridge Assisted Learning School

Little kids, big feelings – helping young children manage anger

The past couple years have had a tremendous impact on the mental and emotional wellbeing of most people, and young children have not escaped the impact of Covid-19 and the lockdowns in this regard. Parents may have seen a change in their children, including increased instances of anger outbursts, sometimes of the explosive kind. “There has definitely been an increase worldwide and in South Africa of children struggling to manage anger and anxiety – outbursts that are quite distinct from run of the mill so-called tantrums which some children exhibit under normal circumstances,” says Educational Psychologist Dr Greg Pienaar, Principal at The Bridge Assisted Learning School, a brand of ADvTECH, Africa’s leading private education provider. The Bridge, which opened its doors in January 2018, has filled a niche demand in education, catering to students of average to above average ability who face certain learning barriers and social or emotional challenges. Pienaar says that parents whose children exhibited out-of-character anger outbursts, with an increase in frequency or intensity, may have been left baffled by these incidents. “The first thing to note is that, given the unusual circumstances of this year, this behaviour is relatively normal. However, having said that, parents definitely need to address the situation to ensure it is resolved, and seek help should they struggle to do so,” he says. A September report by the Centre for Disease Control (CDC), noted that Covid-19 affected children directly and indirectly beyond getting sick or the threat of them or their loved ones falling ill. “Many children’s social, emotional, and mental well-being have been impacted by the pandemic. Trauma faced at this developmental stage may have long-term consequences across their lifespan,” the report said. Listed as contributing factors to this impact were: Changed routines Breaks in continuity of learning Breaks in continuity of healthcare Significant life events that were missed Loss of safety and security “All the above factors, and many others, mean that children have had to deal with a major and historical life event at a very young age, when they are still learning to process feelings and emotions. Unusual behaviour may have arisen as a result,” Pienaar says. “This includes anger outbursts, simply because children often don’t know, or don’t have the tools, to express their feelings effectively when they are young. Anger is their way of communication, their way of telling you there is a problem.” Essentially, the misbehaviour is the language the child has available to express themselves. So, parents and teachers need to respond appropriately to meltdowns and not immediately react with harsh punishment, arising from their own anger. It is important to model calm and considered behaviour at this point, Pienaar says. “The most important first step is to understand that there is a reason for the meltdown, and then to determine what that reason is. This involves spending time with the child, and communicating as effectively as possible,” he says. “Remember we as adults have the ability to understand what is going on, even in our uncertainty. But our children were faced with a tremendous amount of unexpected and immediate changes, ranging from wearing masks, having to social distance, giving no hugs or not seeing important people in their lives. Children had to learn to grow up and face fear of death, uncertainty and the fallout from their parents’ fears and anxieties before they were mature enough to handle these big changes and big feelings. So it is not reasonable to expect all children to just have absorbed these changes and coped forthwith.” Pienaar says to bring the situation back to normal, parents should ensure they: 1. GET ALL ROUTINES BACK TO NORMAL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE Try to get life at home back to a predictable routine, explain why it is necessary and why everyone is going to stick to it. Children need predictable routines, boundaries and restrictions to give them the parameters in which they can explore and thrive. 2. HARNESS ‘IN THE MOMENT’ SITUATIONS Under normal circumstances, an anger tantrum may call for a timeout. However instead of timeouts, try time-ins. Sending children away and into isolation may sometimes worsen the situation. Rather take the child for a walk, or sit in a park, and be there for them. Discuss the feelings the child is having, and discuss how the child can manage those feelings in an alternative way. Listen and learn. “Remember that there is a difference between a tantrum and an outburst of anger, although they may seem similar on the surface,” Pienaar says. “A tantrum occurs when a child doesn’t get his way. The way to address this is to consistently not indulge the demands of the child, which ultimately allows the child to learn that the parent will be consistently enforcing rules and boundaries, and that tantrums are pointless.” Anger issues however point to larger problems outside of the child’s control. “Developing a close connection with the child, spending quality time and developing language around emotions, is the best way to empower a child to manage their anger effectively. If this does not help, and the outbursts continue or escalate, it is advisable that parents seek additional intervention to address the matter early and before greater emotional trauma develops.”

July 27, 2022
Kumon

4 EASY WAYS TO ADD MATHS TO YOUR EARLY LEARNER’S DAILY ROUTINE

Whether you realise it or not, we use maths concepts to solve real-life situations every day. From cooking with recipes to figuring out the correct money to give at the store, maths is everywhere. Teaching your children fundamental maths skills at a young age is easier than you think! With research stating that 80% of a child’s brain develops by age five, it’s important for parents to take advantage of the critical early years. The great news is that children are naturally curious and often question the world around them, so there are many chances to naturally weave in learning opportunities. By just adding a little maths to your everyday routine, you can help your toddler or preschooler begin to recognise numbers, learn the proper number sequence and eventually develop the ability to count. Here are four easy ways to add maths into the everyday routine for early learners: 1. Play simple card games Learning about numbers is the first step in a preschooler’s maths journey. In addition to using number flash cards, playing card games using regular playing cards is another great way for children to learn about numbers up to 10. The cards between two and ten not only have the numbers on them, but also the amount of symbols that represent the quantity. The pattern on the cards helps children to conceptually understand what the number represents. 2. Count outdoors or with items you use each day To help your preschooler learn to count, start by heading outdoors. Find items in nature that can be easily counted, such as the petals on a flower, the leaves on a branch, or even trees in the yard. Ask questions such as: “How many flowers have pink petals in the garden?” “Which flower has more petals than the others?” “How many red leaves are there?” These questions will spark their curiosity to explore the answer. If needed, help your child by pointing and counting with them. By modelling how to do it, your child will feel encouraged and motivated to count with you before doing so on their own. You can also count items you use each day such as different foods or toys. 3. Sort and understand groupings Look for teachable moments during everyday play. While playing with their toys, ask your children to sort by colour, or by similarities, or by differences. You can even introduce sorting during clean-up by asking them to put toys into the right bins. One great place to start with sorting is by using different coins. These all vary in size which makes sorting by their differences simple without introducing the values of each coin. Once you show the differences of each coin, help sort these out into different groupings. For example: “Can you count the ten cent pieces? Let’s put them into groups of 10.” Once you master sorting out the ten cent pieces and setting aside the groupings, then you can count the total. Repeat this with the various other coins. 4. Cook to teach measurements and shapes Not only is cooking useful, it’s a great way to learn maths. Begin by finding an easy and fun baking recipe. Some will call for measurements such as “two cups of flour” or “three teaspoons of baking powder.” You can have your child help with counting these measurements out with you. Next, work with your child to form shaped cookies and count as you lay them on the baking sheet. Young children tend to notice the different sizes, for example, one giant cookie versus 24 mini ones. You can then get different sized plates and ask questions like “Which plate holds the most cookies?” or “How many cookies fit on the blue plate?” This will encourage your child to think through this by experimenting and counting different groupings. Maths is something we turn to for everyday tasks. With these simple tips, your child will begin learning some maths concepts without even really knowing they’re learning. It is great to start teaching these skills at a young age to get them prepared for Grade R and ensure they are on the right track for their academic future! This article is from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/4-easy-ways-to-add-math-to-your-early-learners-daily-routine/ 

July 27, 2022
The Bridge Assisted Learning School

Neurodiversity: How to support a Dyslexic child?

Children each learn and develop at their own pace, and reading is no different from any other skill. However, for some children they find it challenging at one point or another. They battle to build, recognise and manipulate the sounds in language. They also have difficulty in decoding words.  Often children battle with barriers to learning, which may include dyslexia.  Studies show that dyslexic children face many difficulties in their academic and social surroundings. Also, they suffer from a low self-esteem because of the lack of accomplishments, particularly in academics, which may affect their long-term life opportunities. Therefore, parents’ awareness about dyslexia and the impact it has on their child is imperative in ensuring support as well as a sustainable development of their child. At the Bridge Assisted Learning school we aim to work with our parents to create environments both at home and school that will be conducive to learning. Much can be done to alleviate this by utilising the following interventions, both at school and at home, in order to develop processes to support a comfortable confidence and self-esteem within children battling with dyslexia. These include:  Explicit direct instruction in phonological and phonemic skills. The intervention also needs to include ‘The Big 6 of Reading’: oral language, phonological awareness, phonics, vocabulary, fluency and comprehension. Font style: The most commonly referred to fonts for people with dyslexia are: Comic Sans, Verdana, or Arial. It does not matter which font is used, it is more about using the particular font exclusively, so that the person becomes accustomed to the font used. A specific font developed for dyslexic people can be found on the Open Dyslexic website (www.OpenDyslexic.org).  Open Dyslexic is a free font to use for the children who are battling with dyslexia. The letters are spaced out and wider in some instances. Also, when you use any font for a child with dyslexia, always justify left: it spaces the words out evenly and makes it easier for the child to read. Time constraints: Always provide extra time for students with dyslexia, especially for reading tasks. Always allow additional time in test or exam situations. Lowering the stress when learning is taking place: Create a learning culture where making mistakes lead to learning. Provide adequate time for thinking. Don’t place too much stress on children to read aloud in front of other people. Children with dyslexia should be aligned with an empathic teacher mentor. Building reliance and self-esteem: Dyslexia impacts on the social and emotional well-being of the child. Use terms of encouragement when talking to your child. Parent activities: Try to nurture children’s love for stories. Encourage them to collect books and build their own library and practice reading their favourites with them. Also invest in audio books that you can listen to while driving to school that gives phonetic sounds to practice. Showing them that you care and that you are just as invested to help them succeed.  Children don’t outgrow dyslexia, and their troubles with reading can affect how they behave in school. However, with the right teaching and support, children can overcome reading challenges and learn coping mechanisms to make them thrive in school and throughout their life.  By: Dr Greg Pienaar, Principal at The Bridge Assisted Learning School

July 18, 2022
Good Night Baby

When the ENT comes to the rescue

Sleep is so essential for our children’s overall development and health, but we cannot address sleep habits if there are medical reasons for a child’s restless nights.  There are a few ear, nose and throat (ENT) related conditions that can contribute to poor sleeping – let’s look at the two most common causes amongst infants and toddlers: Adenoid hypertrophy or enlargement Any form of a blocked nose causes difficult, uncomfortable and noisy breathing while sleeping.  The most common cause for a chronically blocked nose that an ENT specialist diagnoses are enlarged tonsils and adenoids. Adenoids are lymphoid glands that form part of your immune system.  They are located behind the nasal cavity where they trap viruses and bacteria or allergens that try to enter and infect the upper respiratory tract.  When they are constantly exposed to viruses or bacteria (for example at creche or school) or even to allergies, they enlarge and block the passage where air needs to pass from the nose to the airway.   Adenoids are often enlarged in children, but shrink as we grow older and our immunity improves.  Adenoid hypertrophy causes snoring, a blocked and runny nose, nasal voice, mouth breathing and postnasal drip with night-time wet coughs. Severe cases can even lead to obstructive sleep apnoea where your child stops breathing for a few seconds at a time.  Your child will snore loudly and wake sporadically during the night due to these pauses in breathing and will not be able to enter the deeper part of sleep. In the long run this is detrimental to their sleep and overall health as essentially, they are not getting enough oxygen to their bodies and their hearts and lungs must work extra hard.  It can lead to failure to thrive and poor growth, behavioral problems, poor school performance due to lack of concentration, enuresis (bed wetting) and even heart failure.   Middle ear infection or effusion The middle ear has a natural drainage pathway to the back of the nose called the eustachian tube.  Any fluid build-up in the ear from inflammation or an ear infection is supposed to drain naturally via the eustachian tube.  When the adenoids are enlarged and block the eustachian tube’s opening, this cannot occur and fluid builds up and becomes stagnant in the middle ear.  This leads to recurrent infections or chronic fluid build-up called an effusion.   You know the feeling you get when your ears need to pop when landing in an aeroplane?  That is the pain a child has almost constantly when there is pressure build up in their middle ear, especially when lying down and there is increased blood flow to the head.  That is enough to keep anyone awake at night.  Not only is it painful for children, but it can cause difficulty in hearing and eventually delay their speech development because of the muffled sounds.  In severe cases it can even affect their balance.  Some mothers notice how their infants walk differently when their ears are acting up. These conditions are very common in infants from around 6-8months of age into toddlerhood and if the above symptoms are present, it’s best you visit an ENT specialist.  There are certain medications that can be prescribed if caught early to try and reverse the inflammatory process and essentially shrink the adenoids, but often it requires surgery.  The surgery is a low-risk, quick procedure where the adenoids are removed through the mouth (often combined with a tonsillectomy) and grommets can be inserted into the eardrums to drain the fluid. Once these medical conditions have been resolved there will be a marked improvement in their sleep and a child that already had well-stablished sleep habits, will often return to sleeping well once they are feeling better. What can you expect from their sleep once they have been treated? Waking early: Suffering from any of these conditions affect both the quality and quantity of your child’s sleep. Some children become so accustomed to poor quality sleep that once they finally get helped, they find themselves waking up at the crack of dawn refreshed and ready for the day. They’ve never slept so soundly before, and it can take your child a while to adjust to sleeping more appropriate hours. White noise: Once ears are cleared of fluid, some children become hyper-sensitive to the white noise in their room. You can temporarily reduce the volume and remember to never exceed 50 dB once you turn the volume back to normal. Discomfort: This will need to be addressed and you should offer your child comfort and reassurance. Once they are feeling better go back to your plan and ensure that they don’t become reliant again on any unsustainable sleep associations. Short term-use is often not the problem, it is allowing the bad habits to creep back in permanently that becomes an issue. Once your child is feeling better and has recovered, go back to their normal routine. Often sleep concerns after a procedure are easily resolvable and your sleep-trained child will undoubtedly surprise you with how well they bounce back. If your child slept poorly prior to the procedure, look at contacting a sleep consultant for some assistance. Quality sleep is vital to your child’s health and well-being and they certainly deserve a good night’s rest after what they’ve been through. By Dr Nina du Toit – ENT and Tammy Buitendach – Good Night Consultant www.drninadutoit.co.za

July 11, 2022
The Papery

Dreaming big is the first step towards achieving your goals

All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.” —Brian Tracy. Here are 10 good reasons why it is important to Dream BIG It allows the mental freedom to think about what you really want out of life. Helps you forget all the reasons why you can’t make it a reality. Motivates you to see the big picture. Gives you a renewed feeling of purpose. Opens up a world of possibilities. It doesn’t cost anything to dream. Dreaming gives us hope. The more you dream big, the more likely you are to succeed. People who dream big are generally happier than people who settle for less. Dreaming helps us determine what our goals should be. “Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”—Harriet Tubman What is the difference between a dream and a goal? Dreams are something you create in your mind that can take any shape or form and can be quite abstract, while goals are based on taking action. With goals, a lot of focus and attention is needed. Dreams, on the other hand, don’t need that kind of focus. What does dreaming big involve? Dreaming is not necessarily only about the actual dream, it is also about setting the tone & having the tools to help make those dreams become a reality, which is why we have created the “DREAM BIG” journal to help with actualizing your dreams. During this process, we help create goals out of your dreams, by writing them down, although the action taking part, is far more fun and much more about creating the right headspace to turn them into a reality. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”—Eleanor Roosevelt. What kind of big dreams do people have? Dreams can be anything from things you want, things you want to do, a way of being, your health, holidays to beautiful destinations, a specific lifestyle, happiness! There is no limit to what we can dream possible for ourselves. So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”—Christopher Reeves How can the Dream Big Journal help you get started? It’s all about bringing emotion into the dreams – when we add emotion & feeing to our dreams, they are far more likely to become a reality. Having a special place to write your dreams. Writing down your dreams, putting pen to paper, is like a writing a birthday wish list to the universe. Going back and reading through them often, helps keep those dreams top of mind. Remember when you read through those lists, feel the emotions you would feel if you had those things in your life. Pictures often stir up different emotions to what words do. Creating a vision board gives us a different way of feeling our dreams. We encourage you to use all your senses by doing the exercises that are included in the journal. Some of the exercises are there to help you to be more mindful and present. Doing what lights up your soul is one of the most important ways of actualizing your dreams because it conjures up the same feelings and emotions that your dreams would make you feel – Alison shares a personal story about this below. Giving attention to your dreams daily will also bring you closer to your dreams. A personal story from Alison! At the beginning of February this year, I decided to set myself a goal to swim every day that month. Most days this was really easy, although some days were harder as it rained or the wind was howling (and freezing), or the water was really cold. But I was determined to stick to what I had set out to do. When I got to the end of the month, I realised how much it was benefiting me. It felt like everything in my life was going along with ease.  Swimming in the sea and the beautiful views are really my happy place, which left me feeling in a constant state of happiness and gratitude. I had got myself into a very good routine of waking up early, working for a couple of hours and then taking this amazing break to go and swim and have a wonderful cup of coffee, before continuing with my day. It felt like my time was limitless, I got through so much more work, and especially focused work. I decided to carry on for another month and eventually kept going all through April as well.  For now I have had to stop due to a small op that needs recovery time out of the sea water. I am still going to the beach and walking (dipping my toes in the water) and will be back full body in the water as soon as I am allowed to! It has become about so much more than the swimming, my kids have been joining me, such special time with them, my little dog absolutely loves our morning outing – there is so much connection & benefit in this daily ritual! The reason I am sharing this story, is that doing things that light up our soul and connects us to our hearts, is very much part of making our dreams come true in the nicest possible way. While I am out there swimming and drinking coffee, I feel like I am filling up my happiness cup, and this is spilling over to all areas of my life, making me feel joyful and abundant and allowing me to realise many of my dreams at the same time.

July 11, 2022
Catrobatkidz

JUMPING

Anyone who’s ever seen a child jumping knows what the face of true joy looks like. Jumping is one of the simplest, cost effective workouts that combine fun and fitness together, providing physical, health and educational benefits to children, young or old. Best of all is that jumping is enjoyable and can be done any time of the day, anywhere. The Benefits of Jumping For children who are averse to taking part in sports, jumping works really well by getting a workout without realizing it! Healthy Heart Cardiovascular health has become one of the primary concerns in children. Jumping is an important cardiovascular exercise that gives the heart a healthy and organic workout. It helps the blood to circulate properly throughout the body ensuring that oxygen is pumped more efficiently. So, you can encourage your child to do this fun exercise and ensure the proper functioning of their heart, making them feel healthier and more alert. Plus, it is a great way to keep weight down! Stronger Core Muscles When children jump, they learn to control the movement of their bodies, which involves virtually all major muscle groups in the body. The core muscles are used to jump and land alike. This is how the core is strengthened. Jumping motions, with simultaneous impact and flex to keep the body going up and landing, allow the joints and muscles to move, strengthening both muscle and bones and increases endurance. Strong legs can take us very far in life, and children who jump can get the benefits of muscular limbs early on. No more getting tired and begging you to carry them after only half an hour of walking! Improved Learning Jumping increases a child’s metabolic rate, helping the child’s body to process nutrients faster and more efficiently. This helps to keep their weight down, leading to a fitter, leaner toned body, which boost self-esteem. In addition, while jumping, the body produces mood-enhancing substances, that is why children are happy and joyous and find it a fun exercise. Jumping creates a balance in the child’s mind. With happiness comes an ease of learning. Children who jump regularly tend to be better at study, grasp things easier, and have a sharper memory, improving their learning abilities. Jumping strengthens both the mind and the body! Motor Planning & Sequencing Jumping requires continuous motor planning and sequencing – skills that allows us to plan and execute our movements in order to safely navigate our environment. When jumping, the child uses motor planning to judge distance, evaluate how much power is required to jump and land, plan movements, and then execute the jump in the proper sequence. Strong Lymphatic System Jumping activates and stimulates the lymphatic system which manages the levels of toxins in the body. When toxins are managed well, it helps keep diseases away and improves the immune system. Better Co-ordination Jumping helps children understand their bodies better. They have to concentrate on a number of skills at the same time: bouncing, balancing, maintaining the body’s position, and anticipating the next action. Both sides of the brain and body have to work together while controlling different muscles and limbs at the same time as one another. This greatly improves, and has a positive impact, on bilateral motor skills and overall coordination. Weight Loss Jumping is great to help tackle weight issues and is very helpful with weight loss. Children can do this easy workout and burn a lot of calories on a daily basis. Jumping means a leaner body and more flexibility. Jumping can burn around 100 calories in only ten minutes – You can do it too!

July 7, 2022
CambriLearn Online Education

Education: Nature vs. Nurture

As a parent, how often have you questioned whether your parenting techniques have made fundamental impacts on your child’s development or are they inherently “who they are” based on their genetic build-up? The nature vs. nurture debate is a longstanding question and popular parenting discussion that has fascinated phycologists for decades.  Nature refers to genetic and hereditary influences passed down from our parents and grandparents, from physical appearance to our personality characteristics. Nurture refers to environmental influences such as early childhood experiences, parenting styles, social relationships and community.   In the past, this debate commonly took a very one-sided approach with contributors drawing a line in the sand and arguing that it was either nature or nurture that had the most significant impact. Today, most parents will agree (through first-hand experience) that both factors play a critical role in a child’s development.  Have you ever considered this question in relation to your child’s education and the way in which you approach their schooling? In this article will take a closer look at this question and unpack some ideas on how a child’s learning environment and schooling model impacts their ability to retain information and how this affects their willingness to learn.  Teaching styles In a recent interview, CambriLearn student and Mensa member Christopher Oosthuizen says; “I like to be taught how to think and not what to think”. From this 8-year-old’s brilliant mind, we can see how important it is for our teaching methods to reflect the child’s preferred style of learning. With such a profound and analytical mind, Christopher thrives on self-empowerment, learning through experimentation and being provided with the right tools to discover learning concepts. For Christopher, homeschooling provides an optimal learning zone​​™.  Natural abilities No two children are the same and therefore they will not learn in the same way or at the same pace. There is simply no one size fits all solution to education and creating a personalised learning journey based on a child’s natural abilities is the best chance to ensure educational success.  As a parent, you might prefer to read a manual whilst your child might prefer to see instructions in a diagram format. Parents should celebrate and strategically approach each student’s preferred learning style in order to promote optimal learning and knowledge retention. According to the VARK system, there are four types of learning styles – visual, auditory, reading/writing and kinaesthetic. This short quiz can help you better understand your child’s preferred learning style Learning environments  One of the key factors when instilling a child’s love for learning is to consider their learning environment. One child may enjoy online learning through interactive online materials and gamified learning platforms whereas another child may learn better through one-on-one tutor support.  A child’s learning environment has a direct and lasting impact on the way in which they absorb and retain information. Parents need to consider which learning environment best suits their child’s unique needs in order to harness their love for learning. This liberates them to pursue their own interests and teaches them how to manage themselves throughout their education journey.  Understanding your child’s preferred learning style can be a difficult task, consider taking this online quiz to help shed some valuable insights on your child’s optimal learning environment. 

July 7, 2022
Paper Video

Effective Study Techniques and Methods

Yes, there are in fact effective study techniques that can help learners retain information better and they’re not based on fiction or chance, but years of scientific research. Study smarter not harder. We’ve all heard or read the saying at some point in our lives, but what does “studying smart” actually look and is there, in fact, a science to prepping for your exams. Studying comes naturally for some while others find it challenging. Regardless of your love or hate for the books, effective techniques that help absorb info is a different concept entirely, and it’s one that educators and psychologists have researched for years. Studying “right” starts with understanding There’s a small obsession amongst educators, phycologist and physicists to understand the concept of absorbing information quickly and keeping it locked away for as long as possible. While there has been an endless debate, one thing they can all agree on is that the work should be understood first and foremost. If learners aren’t understating the material, they’ll find it difficult to retain it which is why tutoring platforms have been becoming increasingly popular, helping learners understand over and above simply studying the material. Paper Video’s is one such platform where learners from grade 8 to 12 can unpack challenging subjects like Maths, Physical Science, Life Science and Accounting through video lessons, past exam papers and teachers that help explain the work. Studying effectively is not just about getting information into our brains to pass an exam, it about saving time and effort, and remembering the work well-beyond that final paper. Plus, once you understand what you’re learning studying will feel like a breeze. Find study techniques that work for you. There are no one-size-fits-all approaches when it comes to a study technique that works, and “Learning Styles” is a concept that is slowly but surely being taken off the table. For those who don’t know, “Learning Styles” is a theory that indicates whether or not people are Visual, Auditory, Read & Write or Kinaesthetic learners. New research published by the American Psychological Association stated that there is no scientific evidence to support this concept. In an article published by the Atlantic in 2018, Daniel Willingham, a psychologist at the University of Virginia made a compelling case whereby he stated: “People have different abilities, not styles. Some people read better than others; some people hear worse than others. You can’t visualize a perfect French accent, for example.” He went on to say that people should not think of themselves as visual, verbal or some kind of learner, “Everyone is able to think in words; everyone is able to think in mental images. It’s much better to think of everyone having a toolbox of ways to think, and think to yourself, which tool is best?” So, how do you know what study technique works? With no clear recipe to success amid all the mind maps, rhymes, notes and re-reading, and if not for a “learning style” how can we tell what works and what doesn’t?  Luckily there is science and proven research that tells us what techniques should do and how they should affect learners. Ask yourself: Does the technique help me engage with the material (not just reading)? Does the technique help me track my progress, (a test of some sort)? Does it involve repetition? Does it make me more efficient? Am I retaining/remembering information?  Scientifically backed Study Techniques Remembering or retaining information is a challenge that can be traced back to when German Psychologist Hermann Ebbinghaus first identified the “the forgetting curve” in 1885. It was and still is, a hypothesis that highlights how information or knowledge that gets stored in the brain is lost over time if the individual does not attempt to retain it. Now, to us in the 21st Century, it might not sound so ground-breaking, people forget things. But back then, Ebbinghaus identified a problem and gave it a name and scientists love nothing more than to solve a good problem. That’s why they dedicated their careers to finding ways that can help humans study better and retain information successfully and here are a few of our favourites. 1. Interval studying Call it what you may: the spacing effect, distributed practice, spaced repetition or interval studying, it’s a method that was identified by Hermann Ebbinghaus in his book: Memory: A Contribution to Experimental Psychology. While Ebbinghaus identified the forgetting curve he also gave us a snapshot on how to overcome it: Spaced out repetition. A study by the American Psychological Association showed that the method was 96% more effective than massed repetition, otherwise known as cramming (Cepeda 2006). Conclusion? Spacing out your studies over several short periods helps you remember better, so stick to short bursts, but keep them focussed. It’s not about how much time you have, but what you do with your time that counts. 2. The Leitner technique The technique was created by German science journalist Sebastian Leitner and is a learning technique based on flashcards. The technique also adopts interval studying as part of the method, so learners will be studying in short spaced-out bursts. The technique uses several boxes to help track the flashcards you need to study, and each box represents the amount of time and effort learners would need to spend on certain cards. Here’s how: Every card starts in Box 1 If you get a card right it moves to the next If you get a card wrong, you move it down a box How many boxes you have is up to you, but most educators vouch for three or four.  3. Pomodoro study technique If you’re prone to distractions or if you lose focus easily, the Pomodoro method is used universally not just as a study hack, but as a way to help people increase their productivity. It’s a time management system that encourages short, intense bursts of work for about 25 – 30 minutes. Once the time is up, you stop working and take a 5- or 10-minute break. The technique

July 6, 2022
Parenting Hub

A guide to making blended families work

Do you fear that you’ve become the evil step-monster? It’s so easy to feel like that, especially with blended families becoming the societal norm. Telling a child what to do, especially when they are not your own, can be tricky business. Yes, children are the gifts that keep giving, but let’s not joke: they can also be crafty little critters and can sometimes put serious strain on a marriage. When two families come together, things don’t often run smoothly. Between children resisting change, the parents trying to accommodate different personalities and rotating between two different households at any given time, things can become extremely rough. Some things you may consider when trying to blend families: Planning for your blended family: Everything needs planning – absolutely everything. When you and your partner decide to merge your two families, keep in mind that things don’t always go smoothly. Respect is earned, not demanded. Step-sibling relationships can be particularly sticky, especially when alliances are formed. Plan for bonding sessions and make your new family get to know each other. Lay foundations and set boundaries: Children do best when routine is not disrupted. To this end, one should strive to keep life as normal as possible, and this is done by laying foundations and setting boundaries. Remember that too much change at once can unsettle children. Find ways that all of you can maintain your routines. Don’t allow ultimatums or manipulation to happen, as this is a dangerous foundation to lay. Conversely, don’t be too harsh – after all, the “you’re not my real mom” argument is infamous for a reason. Also try to limit expectations – you shouldn’t expect to fall in love with other children instantly (and vice versa). These things take time. Keep all parents involved at all times: So as not to “step on anyone’s toes” you should strive to maintain a good relationship with your ex, and encourage your new partner to do the same. Ex spouses respect being kept in the loop when it comes to their children, and the kids benefit when there is no animosity between the various parents. In some cases, this can certainly be a very difficult thing to maintain, but civility is free. Court battles, on the other hand, are not. According to helpguide.org, the following should be observed: Listen respectfully to one another Address conflict positively Establish an open and non-judgmental atmosphere Do things together – games, sports, activities Show affection to one another comfortably If you are struggling to keep the family together, it may be a good idea to consult with a professional and get some advice on a way forward. It’s not always easy to keep everyone happy, and sometimes you just need a bit of assistance. If a child is expressing particularly excessive anger towards a parent or step parent, if favouring starts to happen and alliances get formed, or members of the family openly avoid each other, seek advice from a psychologist dealing with family matters.

June 30, 2022
PowerPlastics Pool Covers

Drowning myths and signs of a drowning in progress

A reminder that pool safety is a year-round responsibility for parents and pool owners and that child drownings can almost always be prevented if the right steps are taken.  Should an accident occur in your pool, knowing what a drowning in progress looks like and a quick reaction can make a big difference to the child’s prognosis. Take a moment to familiarise yourself with the following indications of a drowning and please share widely with other parents.  Always keep the pool covered with a PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover to prevent child drownings.  Find these and more tips about pool safety from TopStep and PowerPlastics Pool Covers. www.topstep.co.za www.powerplastics.co.za  Myths about drowning Television has a lot to answer for when it comes to how drowning is portrayed and there are many myths out there. Be aware of the signs and remember that the appearance of a drowning can vary widely.  Myth #1: Drowning children will shout for help Drowning children are physiologically unable to call out. The respiratory system is designed for breathing – speech is the secondary function. Drowning children’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface but while their mouth is above the surface, they need to exhale and inhale before they sink again. There is not enough time to cry out.  Myth #2: Drowning children wave their arms to attract attention or will thrash in the water Drowning children cannot wave for help. A person who is drowning cannot perform voluntary movements such as waving or moving towards a rescuer. Envisage the surface of the water as a platform. Someone who is drowning often presses down on the surface and tries to use it as leverage to get their mouth above the water’s surface to breathe. So what the onlooker sees are arm movements that can appear to be playful swimming. Children will not kick wildly either. They remain upright in the water with no evidence of a supporting kick. They are quiet, focused only on breathing and show no signs of violent struggle. The child’s struggle is quick — 20 seconds, whereas an adult struggles for 60 seconds. Myth #3: Drowning children are unsupervised children 50% of all child drownings will occur 25 metres or less from an adult who was distracted for only a few seconds.  Myth #4: My child has had swimming lessons so he/ she won’t drown No child is ever drown-proof, no matter how good their swimming skills. A few swimming lessons are no guarantee when it comes to drowning prevention.  Myth #5: Water wings and flotation aids will prevent drowning Water wings give a dangerous and false sense of security, often making children think they are stronger swimmers than they actually are. Flotation aids can also suddenly deflate. Myth #6: My children are older and can swim so my pool is fine left uncovered Children who drown are often short-term visitors to that property. It could be your neighbour’s child who comes over the wall to play, your domestic helper’s child who comes to your property during school holidays or visiting grandchildren and friends’ children – you will have children visiting who can’t swim and the pool needs to be secured for them too.   What does a drowning in progress really look like? Being able to identify a drowning in progress means you can react quicker and increase the chances of a full recovery. Familiarise yourself with these behaviours:  Head low in the water, mouth at water level  Head tilted back with mouth open Trying to roll over onto the back to float Hair falling over the forehead or eyes Body is vertical/ upright  Eyes glassy & empty, unable to focus Eyes open, with fear evident on the face Hyperventilating or gasping Trying to swim in one direction but without progress Sometimes the most common indication that a child is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may look like they are treading water and just looking up at their surrounds. One way to be sure is to ask them, “Are you alright?” If they can answer at all, they are probably fine. If they give a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them and prevent a drowning occurring right before your eyes.  Remember, children tend to make a noise in the water. If they’re quiet – get to them ASAP! Most people imagine Picture A is an accurate depiction of a drowning in progress. In reality, Pictures B & C are more accurate – mouth at water level, head bobbing, body upright, little to no splashing and sometimes the appearance of doing doggie paddle.

June 22, 2022
Bonitas – innovation, life stages and quality care

The common cold in babies

With COVID19 prevalent globally, the thought of your baby catching a cold could be one to send shivers down your spine. But don’t fret, here are the symptoms of the common cold, what is considered normal and what is cause for concern. What is a cold? The common cold is caused by a variety of different viruses, and is an infection of the throat and nose. When a baby is born they have a weaker immune system, which develops as they grow older. Understandably though, this makes it easier for them to catch a cold. Babies do build up antibodies when they are exposed to germs, however, it takes 2 to 3 months for their immunity to fully develop. There are many types of viruses that are the cause of colds, but luckily most colds will help increase your little one’s immunity against other another nasty germs.  What is normal and what can I do to prevent my baby catching a cold? Unfortunately, as the cold is caused by viruses there is no cure for it, but you can try naturally calm your baby’s symptoms. Unfortunately antibiotics won’t work as viruses are the culprit. It is normal for a cold to last 7 to 10 days. Symptoms include a runny nose, cough and low grade fever. Although alarming, fever is your baby’s natural response to the virus. Don’t give over the counter medication to your baby as these can cause dangerous side effects in young children, but extra fluids, saline spray and air humidifiers are all things you can use to help your baby. When a cold causes your baby to have trouble breathing, a high fever or dehydration it is time to consult with a doctor. Additionally, if the cold lasts for an extended period of time without getting better it is also best to seek professional help. Babies often catch the virus from older siblings or daycare, so if you can limit your baby’s exposure to other people this will help prevent them picking up unwanted viruses. Ask visitors to wash their hands before touching your little one and make sure to keep the baby’s utensils and towels separate from the rest of the household. Keeping your baby up to date with vaccinations is also a very important action that can help protect your them. 

June 21, 2022
Parenting Hub

Lagging concentration? Natural ways to boost children’s brains

Many parents find their children lagging in focus and mental energy around the end of the second school term.  This may well be exacerbated in 2022, as the first full year after intense COVID disruptions unfolds.  It’s not just the South African winter blues, kids, worldwide, have felt the stresses and strains of the upheaval of the global pandemic which didn’t just upend going to school but is believed to have hampered children and teens’ normal development. Like us adults, our children are still adjusting to a ‘new normal’ that remains fraught with uncertainty and the myriad of anxieties that come with the convergence of tough economic times, serious geo-political clashes and the climate crisis.    If you are one of those parents who have recently experienced concerning parent-teacher chats or your child hasn’t had great mid-year academic results, you may want to consider giving your child some extra well-being support.  Restlessness, poor concentration and focus at school may be caused by anxiety or depression, which have risen in those under 17 years of age so significantly over the last years that we are increasingly hearing warnings of the global ‘youth mental health crisis’.  In addition, diagnoses of ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) are ever-increasing. According to Michele Carelse, CEO of Feelgood Health, one of the country’s pioneering online health and wellness stores, whether or not your child has received a diagnosis of neurodiversity, there are natural steps parents can take to help their child improve concentration and focus.  She says, “More and more families are looking for safe and holistic solutions to help support their children’s mental wellbeing.  They want options that nourish the brain, calm emotions, improve concentration and help children focus naturally.  Medicinal herbs such as Gingko Bilboa, amongst others have proven capabilities in this regard.  However, it is important to remember that there are also lifestyle strategies that work hand-in-hand to strengthen your child’s resilience and help them perform optimally.” Having started her career as a Clinical Psychologist helping families deal with issues such as ADHD and ADD, Michele recommends: Embrace a healthy family diet – “You can’t underestimate the importance of healthy eating when it comes to children’s brain development and brain power.  Reducing sugar intake, avoiding food additives and focusing on fresh, wholefoods makes a real impact.  You want to make sure your child has a good intake of Omega-3 fatty acids from foods such as avocado, tuna, nuts and olive oil, as well as a variety of vegetables and fruit that provide a wide spectrum of vitamins and minerals.” Get physically active – “Research has shown that outdoor exercise, whether that’s organised sports or rambling family walks and bike rides helps both children and adults to calm the mind, regulate emotions more effectively and release stress.  Plan out your weekdays as well as the weekends to make sure you have time for daily physical activity.  Getting out together as a family is also fun and it builds bonds, improving emotional well-being and enhancing resilience.” Limit screen time – “With so much time spent online and so much entertainment easily available on-screen, our children need breaks every day from their devices.  Set screen limits for the whole family and stick to them.” Implement sleep hygiene – “There’s a lot of research showing that children today are not getting enough quality sleep. Problems with concentration and focus, as well as feeling moody, anxious or depressed can be attributed to, or worsened by inadequate sleep.  Keep your children’s bedrooms free of devices and screens; find a calming bedtime routine that works for your family and make a good night’s rest for everyone a priority in your home.” Find support in natural remedies – “Explore a holistic approach to your family’s health to help support improved concentration and focus, and a calmer outlook in children.  The advantage of natural remedies is that they are effective, free of nasty ingredients and non-addictive.  This was my driving force as a Clinical Psychologist that led me to formulating specific Feelgood Health products that have helped many thousands of families over the past decades.  Popular holistic solutions include our Focus & Calm natural remedy which includes herbs such as Gingko Bilboa, and BrightSpark, which is 100% homeopathic remedy for hyperactivity. For teenagers and adults, we also have a natural study aid called BrainShine, to promote concentration, mental focus, memory and reduce stress.” What’s important to remember is that we are all living through tumultuous times.  A less than stellar performance at school or an increase in issues such restlessness and poor concentration can stem from a number of converging causes.  Taking charge of well-being and actively building resilience will help both the children and the adults in the family to cope better with the stresses and strains in the world that are out of our control.

June 21, 2022
Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp

Xola Ntshinga the Co-Parent – Fatherhood, Fairness & Fun

Xola Ntshinga is a familiar voice and face on our radios and televisions, from breakfast and afternoon drive shows to sports anchoring – but this week he joins Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp as a guest and as a dad! Join Elana and the Parent + Baby Brunch podcast as they delve deeper into how parenting turns into co-parenting after a divorce, how being a dad feels during a pandemic, how Xola practices being a ‘present parent’, and much more! Listen here: https://www.babybrunch.co.za/practical-parenting-tips/xola-ntshinga-co-parenting Parent + Baby Brunch was founded by Elana Afrika-Bredenkamp. The content portal is best known for its parenting podcasts, regularly ranking as the number one locally-produced parenting podcasts in South Africa.  “The concept was born shortly after I had my first daughter”, says Elana. “Like the adage write what you know, “I created the Parent + Baby Brunch community after experiencing first-hand what mothers and fathers of newborn children were experiencing. I was on a whatsapp group with my just-turned-parent girlfriends at 2am, everyone complaining about anything from sore nipples to back-aches. I knew there weren’t sufficient support groups out there, and so I started one!” Several years later with over 200 000 total lifetime channel listens under her belt, the popularity of the Parent + Baby Brunch podcasts continues to grow from strength to strength with thousands of streams per month across South Africa, Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Israel and many more nations.

June 17, 2022
Exigo Care

Celebrating young women: Positive daily affirmations

When I think of Youth Day, I think of how resilient the youth of our country have been since the start of the pandemic! So much as changed! How we learn, how we interact, social events… everything. Everything has changed. In the middle of last year I had to go to the university in my area to drop off paperwork. My heart was broken. It looked like a ghost town.  I thought back tomy student days and saw shadows of the past, remembering how it was when I was a student…  Social groups on the lawn chatting and eating their lunch, corridors abuzz with students rushing to get to their various classes on time… Back to reality… quiet. Just the squeaking of my shoes on the sparkly floors as I made my way to the relevant department with only the occasional student that walked past. Unsure if they were smiling behind their mask, we greeted each other and continued. I remember thinking that day… how are these poor young people supposed to find the love of their life at ‘varsity, when they can’t even see each other’s faces… (there goes love at first sight). I giggled as I imagined all students walking around with a QR code, to their social media handles, hanging around their necks… (OK it was a long corridor… too much time to think). It has been hard, but we always need to look for the silver lining, as most South Africans are able to do in the hardest of times.  I would like to commend the youth of today for their resilience. For being masters of their own destiny. For accepting the things they cannot change and making the most of the opportunities that come to light. Anna Louise Pickens compiled a list of Positive Affirmations. We should imprint these in our minds, and the minds of the younger generation: “I am capable.” “I am intelligent.” “I am innovative.” “I am brave.” “I am confident.” “I stand up for myself.” “I can do hard things.” “I am in charge of my own identity.” “I have faith in myself.” “My ideas are powerful.” “I am allowed to change my mind.” “This is my time.” “I am articulate.” “I know myself.” “I am an independent person.” “I am good at many things.” “Anything is possible in my life.” “I have faith in my own abilities.” “I am qualified to be where I am.” “I make good decisions.” Wake up “Everyday” and know that you are of “Premium” quality. Your “Destiny” is not written for you, but by you! Until next time Sr Jessica Bredenkamp (Registered Midwife (BCur) & Mom)

June 15, 2022
Parenting Hub

TELLING OUR OWN STORIES TO IGNITE A LOVE FOR READING

Former secretary general of the United Nations, Kofi Annan, once said that “Literacy is a bridge from misery to hope. It is the road to human progress and the means through which every man, woman and child can realise his or her full potential,’’ yet for millions of South African children, that bridge seems inaccessible. While the literacy crises in South Africa continues, many experts agree that learning to read in one’s mother tongue can helps combat this issue. According to early literacy specialist, author, and translator, Dr Xolisa Guzula, ‘’Research shows that children learn better when they are grounded in their mother tongue.’’ However, what exacerbates the problem is that most kids only have access to books that are not in their home languages. Only 2% of children’s books published commercially in South Africa* are in local African languages. In a country where approximately eight out of ten people speak a home language other than English, creating relatable stories in indigenous languages is critical if we hope to improve childhood literacy. Cadbury Dairy Milk has always been a brand steeped in the spirit of generosity and pioneering social impact. Cadbury remains committed to its mission of igniting a love for reading in the next generation by making homegrown stories more accessible in their home language. The Homegrown Stories initiative is the latest step in a long-term social mission to grow, co-author, distribute and inspire relatable children’s stories in all 11 official South African languages. Last year, Cadbury Dairy Milk asked the public to translate words into their mother tongue. A team of young local authors then weaved these words into exciting new stories. To date over 500 stories have been translated and made available for download from the Cadbury Digital Library with an additional 45 000 books printed and distributed directly to the children who needed them the most.  South Africa is a nation of natural storytellers, crafted through our shared experiences and diversity. This year, Cadbury is encouraging South Africans to tap into their innate storytelling abilities and, by using their everyday interests and experiences as inspiration, generously share a homegrown story in their beloved home language. ‘’With a goal to increase the number of homegrown stories, available in all local African languages, to 1,000 by the end of the year. What better way to advance this mission than by bringing South Africans from all walks of life together to participate in a collective labour of love. Together a small generous act of sharing a story can create lasting impact on a child’s life. An authentic story can encourage a child to want to read more, which in turn can open new worlds and introducing opportunities for the next generation. By sharing our own homegrown stories, we are hoping to create a space where our children can see themselves reflected in the books that shape their childhood.”  Lara Sidersky, Mondelez SA Category Lead for Chocolate. Telling our own stories Representation and resonance are important aspects in the literacy journey. When children can see themselves reflected in stories it aids comprehension and encourages enjoyment of the reading journey, which in turn promotes a culture of reading.  Professional storyteller and author Baeletsi Tsatsi agrees, ‘’By telling relatable stories to our children, we give them a sense of their place in the world and let them know that they matter and their experiences matter. If we want children to fall in love with reading and themselves, then it is paramount that they see themselves in the stories they read, and this is a beautiful way to do that.” Dr Guzula continues, “The importance of children being able to relate to the stories we tell them cannot be overstated when it comes to developing a love for reading. Nurturing the enjoyment of reading also puts a child at an advantage when they reach school going age.” To amplify this enjoyment Cadbury commissioned local illustrator, Russel Abrahams aka Yay Abe, to incorporate his contemporary design style into creating engaging, impactful Cadbury Story Edition packs to launch the Homegrown Stories journey. Creating Impact through accessibility Cadbury Dairy Milk has partnered with several like-minded organisation and distributors to ensure these stories reach all children, both physically and virtually, in languages that they understand. Alongside community radio stations, who provide an ideal storytelling platform, Cadbury has also partnered with Qualibooks, a leading provider of curriculum-based library and other educational resources to schools and communities. Chris De Beer, a director at Qualibooks, adds, “There is clearly a demand for literature in African languages that needs to be provided for. The number of stories being read after school via our KiBooks online platform clearly shows that we are helping children develop a love of for reading in their spare time. If we can help cultivate that by providing them with more titles that speak to their lived experiences, we have no doubt that we can do our bit to improve childhood literacy in this country.” How South Africans can play a role Cadbury Dairy Milk is asking the public to join them and help children fall in love with reading by sharing an authentic Homegrown Story. Look out for the Cadbury Homegrown Story Edition packs for all the details on how to unlock your stories. Simply scan the QR code on pack to open WhatsApp and follow the prompts to share a story in your beloved home language either via voice notes, typing your story ending or uploading a PDF. You can also visit the Cadbury Digital Library or see your story brought to life through the interactive AR lens. Visit cadbury.co.za and join the #CadburyHomeGrownStories conversation: @CadburyDairyMilkSA (Facebook)  @Cadbury_SA (Twitter and Instagram) Scan QR code to access Cadbury Digital Library:

June 10, 2022
Fundamentals Skincare

HOW TO CHOOSE THE BEST MOISTURISER FOR YOUR SKIN

New generation skincare is smart, well-tested and researched, aimed at improving your skin concerns through using the right active ingredients. Looking like a glazed donut before bed is the new skincare ‘must-do’ with the idea of applying active ingredients on your skin at night letting them seep into your pores overnight leaving you glowing in the morning when you rise. Which is true – but you can get this by using one or even two products instead of your entire skincare vanity. It’s time to practice smart skincare.  A moisturiser by definition is used on the skin to prevent dryness. Then – how do you filter through the million different moisturisers on the market and choose the best one for your skin? The answer is simple – know your skin type and skin concerns. Once you know this, its as easy as hop skip and jump right onto the perfect formulation of moisturiser for you!  The ART of being SMART  There are two active ingredients you need in your moisturiser – Ceramide and Raspberry Extract. Here’s the tea on these two smart ingredients:  Ceramides are a class of fatty acids called lipids. They’re naturally found in skin cells and make up about 40 to 50 percent of the outer layer of your skin (epidermis). Ceramides are important for retaining your skin’s moisture and preventing the entry of germs into your body. Ceramides are produced naturally by the body in the sebaceous glands but sometimes our body can run short of of them – especially as we age. Therefore, we need this ingredient in our creams and moisturisers to help pick us up where needed. It’s a skincare fundamental and suitable for all skin types. Shop the Ultra Hydrating 1% Ceramide Cream. A ceramide cream can be used morning but recommended for night after your serums as a last step in your skincare routine. Remember to cleanse, tone and apply those serums before moisturising.  Raspberry Extract – yes you heard right! Extract from the raspberry plant has been studied and shown to promote skin hydration and cell protection as well as provide anti-oxidnt protection when used in skincare. The red extract from the raspberry plant prevents cells from losing excessive water, therefore providing anti-ageing properies and dryness prevention. It can also alleviate direct photodamage to the skin caused by UVB exposure in turn also protecting against inflammatory responses. Another skincare fundamental that is lightweight, moisturising, suitable for skin types and can be used day or night. Apply before your SPF and after your serums. Shop the 1% Rasberry Extract moisturiser.  Choose these active ingredients in your moisturisers and you won’t go wrong.  Tumi Lehutso at Fundamentals Skincare said: “Smart skincare is vegan, fragrance-free, cruelty-free, cosmeceutical grade and a fraction of the price with absolutely no compromise on formuation and ingredient quality. Skincare is for everyone and should be inclusive. The trick to effective skincare is knowing what type of skin you have and then using the correct products, with the correct ingredients and formulations to accurately treat your skin concerns that is also friendly to your specific skin type. When visiting the Fundamentals Skincare website you will have access to a skincare questionnaire that helps you figure out your skin type and further help is available through the Free consultation booking form. Its all about giving your skin the essentials it needs for good health.”  For more information:  Shop: https://fundamentals-skincare.co.za  Instagram: @fundamentals_skincare Tik Tok: @fundamentals_skincare Facebook: @FundamentalsSkincare

June 8, 2022
Parenting Hub

Estate Planning: Caring For children with special needs

Proper estate planning is one of the most important things you can do for your children. Not only does it spare them the anxiety of having to tussle over your estate while mourning your loss, but it can also serve as a final parting gift from one generation to the next. Despite this, 70% of South Africans still do not have a will in place. This is especially concerning for the parents of the roughly 3 million South Africans who live with disabilities.  Louise Danielz, Chief Operating Officer of Sanlam Trust says, “Regardless of your income bracket, it is important to get a professional to help you draft a will. For parents who have children with serious disabilities, estate planning is even more crucial as these children may not ever be able to work and provide for themselves. In these scenarios, trusts are key to ensuring your loved ones are properly provided for, for the rest of their lives, should you not be there to do so in person.” Providing for your disabled beneficiaries after you are gone The most important thing about planning for your child’s future in the event of your passing is making sure that their unique needs are considered. Putting measures in place while you are still alive, and understanding the practical implications of those arrangements, is very important. Danielz suggests doing the following as soon as possible: Ensure you have a valid will: Passing away without a valid will that makes provision for your minor children runs the risk of having their inheritance paid over to the Master of the High Court until they turn 18. This could potentially put their standard of care at risk Nominate a guardian for your minor child(ren): Choose someone you trust to carry out your wishes and care for your child in the best way possible. This can become tricky and time consuming if you have not made adequate plans or had the proper guidance. Above all, get expert advice: If you do not do adequate planning, funds due to minor beneficiaries could be paid to the Master’s Guardian Fund. To avoid this, it is best to set up a testamentary trust in your will to cater for them. Why you need a trust Having a trust is key if you want your estate to be administered, managed, and executed in the best way possible for the beneficiary. Being part of a trust ensures that a dedicated administrator, in conjunction with an elected guardian, acts with due care and diligence in administering the funds in their capacity as trustees. This means that the administrator will consider the maintenance needs of the beneficiary, engage with the guardian, and invest the funds appropriately.  Danielz says, “With Sanlam Trust, a dedicated administrator is appointed to engage with the guardian, so that they work together within agreed guidelines to take care of the beneficiary’s immediate and future educational needs if possible. If there is a need to consult with a caregiver, for example an occupational therapist, to make the best decision for the beneficiary, then this will be done.” With the right planning, parents can take care of their disabled loved one long after they have passed on. Danielz concludes, “Planning gives you peace of mind and it also creates continuity and support for your loved ones. It is all about understanding what you want and how this can be achieved.”

June 6, 2022
Disney Junior

ALICE’S WONDERLAND BAKERY,’ A DELICIOUSLY FANTASTICAL ANIMATED SERIES FOR PRESCHOOLERS, PREMIERES THIS JUNE

Disney Junior’s ‘Alice’s Wonderland Bakery,’ Inspired by the Beloved Classic, Premieres Saturday, 4 June 2022 on Disney Junior Craig Ferguson, Eden Espinosa, Jon Secada, Bobby Moynihan, Ana Gasteyer, Donald Faison, Yvette Nicole Brown and Vanessa Bayer Among All-Star Guest Voice Cast Disney Junior’s “Alice’s Wonderland Bakery,” a fantastical animated series for pre-schoolers and their families inspired by the world of “Alice in Wonderland,” premieres this Saturday, 4 June 2022 on Disney Junior, DStv channel 309 at 08:30.   A vibrant new take on the classic 1951 film, the series centres on Alice, the great-granddaughter of the original heroine and a budding young baker at the enchanted Wonderland Bakery, where her magical treats help bring a new generation of friends and families together. Featuring reimagined versions of familiar iconic characters and introducing memorable new ones, the series stars newcomer Libby Rue as the voice of Alice as well as a slew of celebrity guest stars. See the trailer to the series here. Each episode of “Alice’s Wonderland Bakery,” comprised of two 11-minute stories, centres on Alice’s magical recipe adventures with her best pals, who join her in the bakery to whip up whimsical cakes and treats for friends and neighbours with enchanted kitchen tools and ingredients to help them.  “With so many already familiar with the magic and whimsy of the classic story of Alice in Wonderland – we are sure that this wonderful new series will delight and captivate a new generation of fans,” says Christine Service, Senior Vice President and General Manager of The Walt Disney Company Africa. “Disney Junior is delighted to introduce this series that celebrates the culture and creativity of food, highlights self-expression, and imparts age-appropriate social and emotional lessons about friendship, collaboration, and the importance of community,” she adds.   Geared to kids ages 2-5 and their families, “Alice’s Wonderland Bakery” features Alice’s recipe adventures with her best pals—Fergie, a white rabbit; Hattie, her madcap friend; and Rosa, the Princess of Hearts, as well as her great grandmother’s magical cookbook, Cookie. Alice is inquisitive, persistent and resourceful as she experiments with her baking and invents out-of-the-box solutions for problems that arise. Food is an important part of Alice’s identity, connecting her family from generation to generation and allowing her to discover the distinct family heritages of her friends, each with a wide array of tastes and traditions. In addition to Rue, the lead voice cast includes Abigail Estrella (“How the Grinch Stole Christmas!”) as Princess Rosa, the Princess of Hearts and Alice’s most artistic friend; CJ Uy (“The Ball Method”) as Hattie, a “mad-hatter” boy and Alice’s silliest friend; Jack Stanton (“Outmatched”) as Fergie the White Rabbit, Alice’s best friend and biggest fan; Secunda Wood (“Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous”) as Cookie, the magical cookbook that once belonged to Alice’s great grandmother; and Audrey Wasilewski (“Mad Men”) as Dinah, Alice’s pet cat who is always at her side. Max Mittelman (“Spider-Man”) recurs as Cheshire Cat, Alice’s mysterious and playful friend and one of the most iconic Wonderland characters. “Alice’s Wonderland Bakery” is produced by Disney Television Animation. Emmy® Award-nominated Chelsea Beyl (Peabody Award-winning “Doc McStuffins”) is executive producer, and Frank Montagna (“Elena of Avalor”) is co-executive producer and art director. Ciara Anderson (“Harley Quinn”) is producer, Lisa Kettle (“Mira, Royal Detective”) is story editor, and Emmy-nominated Nathan Chew (“Elena of Avalor”) is supervising director. The writing team consists of Melinda LaRose (“Vampirina”), Michael Rodriguez (“Sharkdog”), Marisa Evans-Sanden (“Fancy Nancy”), Stuart Friedel (“Clifford the Big Red Dog”) and Sara Karimipour (“Ryan’s Mystery Playdate”), and episodic directors are Steven Umbleby (“Monsters at Work”) and Arielle Yett (“The Chicken Squad”). Emmy winner John Kavanaugh (“Sofia the First,” “Elena of Avalor”) serves as the series’ songwriter/music director and Matthew Margeson (“Rocketman”) is composer.

June 3, 2022
PowerPlastics Pool Covers

Drownings are not seasonal! Cover your pool year-round to avoid accidents

Child drownings happen year-round and PowerPlastics Pool Covers, is on a fresh drive to remind parents that these drownings are entirely preventable with multiple layers of safety applied to the pool. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover and adult supervision at all times should be included in these layers of safety at all times.  The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover offers parental peace of mind as it completely seals off the entire pool. The PVC cover is drawn over strong aluminium batons that rest on the coping, and a tamperproof ratchet fastening system makes it impossible for a small child to access the water. Small drainage holes prevent rain or sprinkler water from collecting on the cover as just a few millimetres of water can be fatal to a curious child. The cover withstands up to 220kg and is easily deployed by two people, or it can be semi-automated for single person usage. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is available in a range of colours, allowing it to blend into the outdoor area.  Importantly, the cover complies with the recommended guidelines (SANS 10134) for pool safety, set by the SABS who oversees pool safety compliance in SA.  Thermal pool covers or ‘bubble’ covers that lie directly on the water should never be considered as child safety pool covers as they do not bear weight.  As part of the education drive, PowerPlastics Pool Covers is reminding parents about its educational resource TopStep, the home of pool safety. This educational website offers great tips and advice on preventing drownings.  Aside from covering the pool, every adult in the home needs to know what a drowning in progress actually looks like as TV has created wide misconceptions around this. There is no noise or splashing nor calls for help. Drowning is quick and silent. Visit www.topstep.co.za to learn more about this. Even if one doesn’t have children, it is still necessary to consider safety for visitors. Families living in residential complexes with a communal pool should insist that their body corporate install a solid safety pool cover.  PowerPlastics Pool Covers has also created a Safety Monitor system. Based on the principle that adult supervision is key to avoiding drownings, it allows children to quickly identify the adult in charge should there be a safety issue among the children in the pool. When there’s a larger number of children in the pool, e.g at pool parties, it is advisable to have two or more supervisors each wearing a tag. A busy pool is high risk. You can download it here here and print at home. Laminate it if possible (to prevent water damage) and then add a lanyard or tie it on a loop of string and wear around the neck. The bottom line is that children need to be supervised around pools, and as long as the pool is covered and other layers of safety are in place, the likelihood of a tragedy occurring in your pool is greatly reduced. To learn more about child drowning prevention and swimming pool safety, visit educational blog TopStep, the home of pool safety. www.topstep.co.za. Your best protection against drowning is to have a PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover properly secured over the pool at all times.  Practical tips for pool safety Don’t let your pool’s water levels drop. Keeping the pool topped up allows for small arms to easily grab the edge if needed.  For every two children in the pool, have one adult supervising and use the Safety Monitor tag system. The more children, the more supervisors needed. Be aware that children’s pool parties are high risk events.  Turn off fountains and water features. Not only do they waste water and power, they can cause ripples and splashing, making it harder to see when a child has encountered difficulty in the pool or has sunk to the bottom.  Ensure that every adult in the home knows CPR, including domestic workers. Never hire a baby sitter or au pair who can’t swim. Don’t let anyone who has been drinking or on sedative medication supervise children in a pool.  Don’t leave toys in or near an open pool as children will be tempted to retrieve them. Teach your child to swim fully clothed and with shoes on. If your child develops a fear of water, don’t ignore this – a child who panics is at greater risk of drowning. Never allow swimming after dark. Discourage your dogs from swimming. Children and pets in a pool are not a good mix. Never leave the pool without securing it with your PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Never design / build a pool that cannot be secured for child safety. 

May 31, 2022
Parenting Hub

THE RISKS AND REWARDS FOR KIDS IN THE DIGITAL WORLD

Most of our children are online every day.  The number of mobile devices in the hands of South African children rises year on year at almost every age point between 8 and 18 years of age.  None of this is surprising; the digital component of all our lives is ever-increasing and expanding – from work and school to leisure and socialising.  This powerful wave of digitalisation brings enormous potential for improving lives and opening up opportunities; but it is also ushering in significant risks.  As parents, the risks presented to our children can feel overwhelming to manage. One of the greatest challenges of keeping our children safe online is how quickly the digital landscape changes.  There are new games, new apps, new social media platforms targeted at children constantly coming and going.  There are always new ways around parental controls and new trends emerging.  It’s as easy as typing in a false birth year to sign up to any social media account under the parental radar.  Parents cannot rely on age limits on sites and apps anyway, as they are there to ensure the developers are compliant with privacy laws, not to protect children. Yet, the rewards of digital exposure and interactions are great, and parents want to balance protecting their children with giving them space to explore an incredible realm that’s packed with learning, supportive connections and endless opportunities to gain digital experience and proficiency, which is so important to their future.  How to find the sweet spot amidst the risks and rewards is the subject of an upcoming FYI play it safe webinar for parents on 9 June 2022 from 11:00 to 12:00; or 19:30 to 20:30.  FYI play it safe is a South African-developed app for families that’s gone global.  It’s not a parental control but adds an extra layer of security to children’s devices through AI-powered monitoring of all their screens and generating alerts for parents if their children are engaging with inappropriate content or threatening contacts. Mother of a teen daughter and the CEO/Founder of FYI play it safe, Rachelle Best will be updating South African parents on the latest data regarding children’s use of the internet and social media; their exposure to harmful and inappropriate content, and she will be demonstrating some of the dangerous apps families need to avoid.  Rachelle says, “As parents, we need information and tools to help us enable our kids to build online resilience while they are developing their essential digital skills.  There’s no one single action that we can take to keep our kids safe online while they do this.  Parents need up-to-date information, use the resources in the ecosystem of online safety and have open, trusting relationships with their children so that they can help them safely navigate the risks.” All too often, when it comes to risks, parents can unknowingly fall into the trap that’s dubbed the ‘not my child syndrome’.  An example of this is when a parent sees the data showing that sexting has become alarmingly ‘normal’ and super-trendy for teens, and even tweens; they might believe it about other children but assert that their child is ‘more naïve’ or ‘less developed’ or ‘still not interested or even curious’.  “Unfortunately, this kind of knee-jerk denial and disbelief that ‘my child would never do this’, actually raises the risks for the child,” says Rachelle.  “As parents today, more than ever, we have to confront our blind spots when it comes to our beloved children and realise that they are engaging in a world where sexting is pervasive, and pornography is everywhere.  Latest research shows that while 75% of parents say that they believe their child has never been exposed to pornography, 53% of children admit they have.  We can expect there’s a sizeable percentage who also have, but don’t admit it, which is a significant reality check for all parents.” On the positive side, the increasing focus on online safety for kids is igniting the development of improved tools such as the FYI play it safe app.  “What’s important is that parents are active in understanding online risks and the digital spaces that are threats to children’s safety, mental health and well-being,” Rachelle concludes. “It certainly is the case that knowledge is power, and there are solutions that enable our kids to gain the rewards from their digital explorations and connections while mitigating the risks.” Join Rachelle Best for the FYI play it safe webinar – Our Youth and Social Media; Uncensored – What your child is really exposed to online.  Thursday, 9 June 2022 from 11:00 to 12:00 or 19:30 to 20:30.  Tickets are R80 and can be booked via Quicket here

May 31, 2022
Hilary Smith

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM EMOTIONAL ABUSE

It’s no great secret that we want to keep our kids safe and raise them in a supportive environment. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Our sons and daughters are growing up in a world that is full of lurking threats that range from anywhere from predators to cyberbullies. These pitfalls make our parenting jobs more arduous, especially when it comes to unseen dangers like emotional abuse. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse leaves no marks or bruises which makes detecting it difficult.Emotional abuse, like other forms of abuse, can cause degradation or take a child’s pride away. This can take the form of threats, rejection, ignoring, isolating, criticism, corrupting, swearing, and lying or any verbal patterns that harms a child’s emotional well-being, development, or self-worth. Unfortunately, emotional abuse often involves an ongoing relationship and occurs over time, and is not just one isolated incident. The Prevalence of Emotional Abuse For years, experts and researchers have been plagued with problems about defining emotional abuse and tracking its prevalence.The precise numbers of children suffering this abuse is hard to know, because many incidents go unreported or fly under the radar of caregivers, parents, or the authorities. Occasionally, there are cultural factors that influence how a parent disciplines or interacts with a child. For example, there is solid evidence from the World Health Organization that found most cultures yell at children, while cursing, calling names, and threatening abandonment vary greatly around the world. Childline receives around 4,827 calls from kids who were emotional abuse victims. This data lets us know that emotional abuse is a very real threat to our kids. In fact, some experts suggest that emotional abuse appears to be the the most prevalent form of maltreatment and abuse of children. There are a variety of reasons suspected of causing kids to experience emotional abuse that include: poverty, unemployment, overcrowding in the home, substance abuse, alcohol abuse, and more. But, far too often kids are vulnerable just because they are children and easily become scapegoats for an adult’s anger or frustration. Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse in Kids Like we mentioned earlier, recognising emotional abuse is difficult. That makes it essential that we know what behaviours to look for so we can put a halt to the verbal abuse. Listed below are possible warning signs. of emotional abuse kids: Withdrawal from activities or friends Poor concentration Bed-wetting Difficulty sleeping Changes in eating habits Increased anger or aggression Acting out  Sadness Feeling ashamed Obsessed over doing things a certain way or meeting expectations Fear Anxiety Suicidal or self-harming behaviours How to Protect Your Kids From Emotional Abuse Even though this topic is frightening, there are a few simple steps we can take to protect our kids from suffering emotional abuse. To help keep our boys and girls safe, scroll through the list of safety suggestions: Believe children when they tell you they are experiencing emotional abuse.Listen, reassure them, and report the abuse to the right authorities. Good support is vital when it comes to giving kids hope and encouragement while they rebuild their lives, ability to trust, and move forward. Find child caregivers you trust.It’s obvious that we can’t always be with our kids. Reduce the chance of emotional abuse by finding a reliable caregiver you trust. Begin ongoing conversations about the power of words.All children, and even a few adults, need to be reminded how words can hurt. This will open the lines of communication and encourage kids to share when they have experienced emotional abuse. Teach relaxation techniques to combat anxiety. Inevitably, there will be times when a child encounters unkind words or mean people. Whether it’s a bully at school or a narcissistic boss at work, teach kids coping methods, deep breathing, or yoga moves to combat emotional abuse. Model healthy relationships with partners, friends, family, and children.We are our child’s first teachers and we must lead by a good example. If we want our kids to respect themselves and be in healthy relationships, we must pave the way by showing them acceptable ways for talking about our feelings, communicating, disagreeing, saying we are sorry, and making-up after an argument. Avoid name calling, harsh judgments, and create a safe home environment. As parents, we need to be the safe place to fall. This doesn’t mean we can’t discipline or enforce house rules. However, we need to be mindful of how our words and phrases can impact our child’s development, either setting them up for a lifetime of grief or acceptance.  

May 30, 2022
Doug Berry

CHOOSING PARENTHOOD

Speak to other parents: Leading up to the birth of my child, there was much in the way of warnings and serious advice to the tune of “You’d best start getting your sleep in now” and “Oh boy, your life is over!” I can recall turning to a colleague who gave warnings in this vein and suggested she keep all the negative warnings away from me, as I was looking forward to being a dad. There will undoubtedly be horror stories of projectile bodily fluids and endless nights of sleep, but I’ll never forget the moment a friend asked me what it felt like, the day my child was born. I found it so difficult to put into words, but I was a different person from just 24 hours before. My whole being felt full. I wanted to burst with a mixture of pride and newfound love for this little person who had entered my wife. I found myself willing to threaten and argue with nurses who were just trying to do their job. The instinct to protect was strong, to say the least. In discussion with other fathers my age, friends who have moved away and with whom I don’t often get to speak, sometimes a different story is told. From having to work longer and harder to support the new family, not being able to connect very well with a burping, eating and excreting machine to finding their children an unexpected inconvenience, I wondered how their experience could be so different! Here are some factors to consider when deciding whether or not this is the right time to be a parent. Why would you like to have a child?  What reasons have motivated your decision to start a family? Are you internally or externally motivated? In other words, are you doing this for your own reasons or because you are expected to by your partner, family or society? When we are motivated internally, it can make the role of parenting so much easier, as you have chosen this for yourself. Too many people believe that it is simply the next logical step or will be the factor that saves a struggling relationship. Too often this will lead to resentment of the child and the family unit. Are you on the same page as your partner?  Do you both want a child for the same reasons, or are your motivations slightly different? If you are good at problem solving together and keeping the wellbeing of your relationship and potential family as your primary concern, the new challenges posed by a child should be surmountable! Are you financially ready to have a child?  A baby brings new financial responsibilities and stressors. Do your homework long before a pregnancy. From gynaecologist visits to a stay in hospital, the costs start to add up significantly before the child is even here! Find out about what basic commodities like nappies and formula cost and how often you’ll be replacing them. Children get sick easily as their immune system begins to develop and paediatrician visits can sting the back pocket. Knowing what you’re in for financially can help you to make the decision and begin to budget for a child, long before they are even conceived. Are you prepared for the lifestyle changes?  Having a new baby means that life is going to change in a major way. Have you come to terms with this? It could mean substantially less leisure time, which we often become accustomed to as part of our routine. Weekends are notably determined by the nature of your partner and your relationship with them. Decide long before if you are ready to go from being a couple to a family! Do you have support?  Having a child when you know that it will only be youand your partner, with no familial assistance or external help in the form of carers and babysitters, means that your free time will be close to nil. This may mean that at some point, there will be a sort of burnout, which will have wide repercussions. If you aren’t likely to have help, set an agreement with your partner about offering each other free time, by looking after your child while the other has a chance to go out and recharge!

May 26, 2022
Bill Corbett

HOW TO RAISE A GRATEFUL CHILD

It can be real frustrating raising kids today. It seems as if we do so much more for them than what our parents did for us. In many cases parents CAN do more for their kids because they can afford to do more; Disney trips, a vacation home, providing them with the latest toys or electronic gadgets, and so much more than what many of us had as children. When our children throw fits to get more, it can bring on feelings of resentfulness toward our children. We desperately want to say to them, “Do you even care about all that I’ve done for you up to this point? Do know how hard I had to work to earn the money I’ve spent on you to get you what you want? Do you know how many children there are who have very few clothes and are starving in [insert foreign country here]?” But if we go on in this way, nothing positive will come from it. They won’t understand lack if they’ve never experienced it. And it’s even more difficult for them to be appreciative of what they have when they see other children on television and around them with plenty of ‘stuff.’ So what can parents do to raise more appreciative children? Here are four things to get you started. Thin out your children’s ‘stuff.’  Reduce the amount of toys your children have by donating what you can to thrift stores or donation centers. Have your child help you every step of the way, from the culling process to the delivery of the items. Then commit to reducing the amount of toys and gadgets they will receive, from you and from relatives. Give to others less fortunate.  Have the whole family get involved in an activity that provides a service to those in need. Some families I know volunteer at a local soup kitchen serving those who line up for a free meal. I led my own family to deliver meals to shut-ins and those less fortunate. The experience of giving to those in need will help your children see how much they have, themselves. Refrain from rescuing them.  Experiences of failure, mistakes, and being left out are all valuable life lessons that can lead to a greater sense of appreciativeness. When your child has a negative experience, don’t swoop in and make everything all better for them. If one of your children gets an opportunity or receives a gift that triggers envy in your other child, do not ease the envious child’s pain by buying them something or creating an equal experience for them. Instead, let your child just feel what they’re feeling and encourage them to talk about it. Finally, demonstrate what appreciation looks like. You are your child’s greatest teacher so why not teach them through your own words and actions. Let them hear and see you being grateful and being thankful for something you (or the family) recently received. Lead the family in writing thank you notes or start off family meals by having everyone share what they are thankful for.

May 23, 2022
Mia Von Scha

HOW TO PREVENT EMOTIONAL DAMAGE DURING SEPARATION?

There may come a time in your marriage where you realise that your partner’s negative behaviour is becoming detrimental to both you and your children. What do you do in a situation like this? What if your partner won’t accept getting divorced? What if you are not working or are afraid to work longer hours because you’ll lose quality time with your kids? How do you prevent emotional damage to yourself and your children? Here are some practical guidelines to navigating this very difficult and stressful situation… Firstly, our law does make allowances for one person in the marriage to insist on a divorce proceeding. I’m not a lawyer, but I do know that you can go ahead with a divorce proceeding from your side whether your partner wants it or not, particularly if you can show that you have real grounds for wanting this – if your partner had an affair, if you have a report from a psychologist regarding any abuse etc. It might help to get some professional advice and there are companies like The Family Law Clinics who offer free legal advice. It is definitely important, for both you and your children, for you to resolve the situation as quickly as possible. Please be aware that it is absolutely normal for children to act up in situations like this. They will tend to play out the aggression and negativity they experience at home, but also an aggression and negativity that is repressed in the home. Think of their behaviour as a barometer for the emotional environment that they come from. You or your child’s teacher may even notice some aggressive play and pictures. Please remember that kids process their worlds through play and creativity. It might look negative right now, but they are actually working through their issues and helping to resolve them in their own mind through these actions. This is healthy and necessary and will subside once things settle down. When wondering how to deal with any aggressive behaviour please keep in mind that all emotions are acceptable, but some behaviours may need to be addressed. First allow your child the space to feel the intensity of the emotion and once calm you can discuss different ways to express this that don’t hurt others. You don’t need to worry that they will be permanently like this though. Children adapt very quickly and they respond well to improvements in their situation and environment. What you can do in the meantime is to give them lots of space and support to express their emotions. There is a saying that goes “for the good feelings to come in, the bad feelings first have to come out”. They act out their negative state because they either don’t have the capacity yet to express themselves verbally and have someone understand what they are going through, or because they feel they are not allowed to express it in a safe way. Sometimes, as the parent, we are not the best person for them to chat to, as they are also trying to protect us and our emotions, or they may be angry with us or have some other emotion that they feel they’re not supposed to have. It can be very helpful to have somebody else involved in their lives that they can trust, but who is removed from the situation. Ideally, this would be in a play therapy environment, where they are taught not only that it is safe to express whatever they are feeling (and so don’t have to express it behaviourally) but also coping techniques that they can use throughout their lives when some challenge comes along. Often in divorce proceedings you are already finically stretched. If you have medical aid or the financial resources to manage it, find a great play therapist that you trust. Alternatively, you can contact an organisation like FAMSA who offer reduced rate or free therapy for kids depending on your situation. The next thing to look at is the kids’ routine. If you’re having to start a new job or work longer hours you may need to make arrangement for your kids like aftercare or lift schemes. If at all possible, try to get some of their homework, bathing etc done before you get home. Perhaps even chat to the teacher about helping with this during school time to alleviate some of the pressure on you. I wouldn’t worry about playtime with the kids in the evening. It is more important for them to have a good routine (this helps kids particularly in times of change to feel that the whole world is not falling apart) and sleep is essential for anyone trying to deal with stress. Of course you will want some quality time with the kids in the day, and if you can manage this it will definitely help. Keep in mind, though, that quality time doesn’t need to be a lot of time. It can be five minutes of connecting at bedtime, it can be the conversation you have over dinner, or the wet hug as they get out of the bath. You can also make sure that you maximise on the weekends in terms of fun things that you do together. Just be careful of alleviating any guilt you may have by keeping them up later so that you can spend time with them. That evening time may actually add additional stress, in which case they would be better off with a bit more sleep. The one other thing that you can do to help while this situation gets resolved is to manage your own stress levels. Focus on deep breathing, make sure you connect with people and experiences that support and nurture you, get enough sleep yourself, and be patient and kind to yourself. You are in a very intense situation, and you need to give yourself some credit for where you are handling it well. Also give yourself some credit for what you know

May 23, 2022
Bill Corbett

WHAT IF MY CHILD WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER?

If you’ve said no firmly and you’re child is wearing you down, avoid doing what many parent do when they are tired and overworked; giving in just to stop the pleading and begging. Doing so might stop the noise that’s adding to your stress, but it will also teach your child to repeat this behaviour anytime they receive a NO from you (and others) in the future. BE FIRM, STAY CALM, AND REMAIN QUIET So let me get right to the punch on this question. If your child is asking for something you can’t or won’t give to them and they won’t stop drilling you for it, calmly tell them that you’re not willing to discuss this issue any further and remain completely quiet if they try to engage you further. Be ready and willing to talk to them about any other subject, just not this one. WHAT IF YOUR CHILD HITS YOU IN RESPONSE? If this occurs, the answer is to tell them firmly, “No one is allowed to hit me,” and remove yourself from your child’s access immediately. This means you must go to another place in the house to be away from your child in the moment. If this isn’t easy to do, do your best to remove yourself from your child. Do not hit your child back and avoid yelling or punishing them. Doing so will only reward your child by reacting. WHAT IF THE CHILD CAUSES PROPERTY DAMAGE? Some parents have reported that when they left the area to be away from their child, the child became so angry that they caused some damage to something in the house. While there is a risk that this could occur, it is better to have property damage then physical damage to you or your child. If their behaviour becomes this extreme in response to a no, you should consider seeking help immediately from your child’s paediatrician or a family therapist. OTHER IDEAS TO CONSIDER When your child asks for something and you know that your NO may cause a meltdown, guide your child to a calendar and set a date and time in which the two of you will sit down and discuss the request. They may not be happy with this response, but it will tell them that the door isn’t completely closed on their request. This is also a great technique if what they are asking for is big and you need more time to think about it or research their request, such as piercings, dating, cell phones, etc. Finally, try replacing the word NO with one of these two phrases: “I’m not willing ____________,” or “I’m not ready for you to ___________________.” They put the ownership on you and not on your child. It is also less likely that your child will feel less driven to change your NO into a YES by arguing. When you demonstrate power over your own “will,” or state that you’re NOT READY for them to do something, you don’t have to have a reason for it, or even a date as to when you’ll be ready. Simply tell them they can ask again to see if things have changed.

May 18, 2022
Bill Corbett

FOUR STEPS TO BECOMING A HAPPIER PARENT

Do you consider yourself to be a happy parent? Have you ever asked another adult in your life if they think you are? It might be interesting to see how others perceive you. What about your children, would they say that you’re a happy parent? Many parents are not happy, just look around you at the grocery store or at the playground. You may even have noticed parents in your own extended family, snapping at their children or speaking to them in a demanding tone. And many may have good reason to act this way, with heavier demands from their jobs, difficulty paying bills, or additional pressures taking care of other family members. Unhappy parents end up raising unhappy children, so there is an impact to others from your own unhappiness. If you feel that you could use a HAPPINESS TUNEUP as a parent, here are 4 things you can begin doing immediately to bring on a more positive change. STOP CONTROLLING THE OUTCOME. It can become too easy to over extend your reach in ensuring that everything about your child turns out perfect, such as homework, school work, attire, friendships, play activities, how they eat their meal, arrangement of their bedroom, and more. Resist the urge to create perfect outcomes every time and believe in the LAW OF ALLOWING others be who they are and do what they want. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. When was the last time you went to a movie by yourself in the middle of the afternoon, just because? Or how long ago did you buy yourself a brand new set of sheets for your bed? In my parenting class, I sometimes offer my parents a handout that lists 100 nontraditional ways of taking care of yourself. Author Cheryl Richardson often writes about the ART OF SELF-CARE and how we sometimes avoid doing it because it would make someone else unhappy. LISTEN MORE THAN SPEAK. One of the most powerful methods for living a more peaceful life and creating stronger relationships is to speak less and listen more. Let’s face it; unhappy parents talk too much. They are too quick to answer their children’s questions, tell loved ones what to do, and bark orders to get things done quickly or efficiently. When one takes the time to pause before responding, magic happens: we actually get to hear what the other person says, the other person feels loved and heard, and the energy in the space at that moment subsides. DON’T TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S BURDENS. Every problem that arises has one owner. When a problem appears, ask yourself, “Who REALLY owns this problem?” If your child owns it, be ready to listen and help them problem solve. If you own the problem, be ready to act. We were created to solve our own problems. Taking on someone else’s problem overburdens us and weakens them.

May 17, 2022
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