Advice from the experts
Parenting Hub

What to Get the Tech-Savvy Mom

Incredible Connection Mother’s Day is fast approaching and we all want to make sure that our mom’s feel appreciated and loved.  And given mom’s busy schedule, it is also important to make sure that everything she does, on the day, is effortless, efficient, fun and memorable – so what do you get the tech-savvy mom? Well, look no further as we have the perfect tech list to help you make it an incredible Mother’s Day: If your mom likes to not only stay healthy, but be on top of her daily tasks, work, family and social life – what about getting her a fitness tracking wearable, which will help her fitness journey by tracking her steps, distance, calories burned, floors climbed, active minutes and even sleep patterns. Every mom wants to savour the time spent with their families and ensure those precious moments are captured – and a camera is the perfect gift to not only keeping those memories safe, but giving mom the ability to relive the moments anytime she wants. Make sure you get a camera that best suits your mom, if she likes scrapbooking look at getting her a Polaroid camera that will allow her to instantly print the pictures or if she is always on the move get her a user friendly digital camera that is compact and easy to use for those everyday Instagram moments. To keep mom at ease while at work or travelling, get her a home networking security kit that can allow her to keep her eyes on the home front through her smartphone. The security kit makes for easy usage as it connects wirelessly and has a good signal range where mom can program a number that can be automatically called should the security kit pick up any movement in the house while the family is away. Mom is always trying to make sure that the family is well fed with healthy and nutritious recipes. So why not make life easier for her by buying her a tablet for use in the kitchen where she can easily download all her favourite recipes on, get subscriptions to her favourite magazines and stay in touch with the world – anywhere, anytime. Make sure you pamper her this Mother’s Day – and let her know that all the love she gives to her family is appreciated – and what better way than through a thoughtful gift – suited just for her.

May 9, 2017
Kim-Young

Depression in Youth – Spot the Signs

Ryan G Edmonds A new year can often bring an anti-climax, as people realise that the problems of the previous year have not yet magically disappeared, and a whole new array of challenges often await them. This is especially true for many teenagers who, along with the pressures of life and school, can easily find themselves swept away in a stream of stress, anxiety, and depression. Data collected in South Africa shows us that every 24 hours in SA there are 22 suicides and over 220 attempted suicides, and that suicide is currently the fastest-growing cause of death in under 18’s. Who, therefore, is at risk for depression? What is the impact on untreated trauma on adolescents, and can such factors get help and support There is a growing awareness in South Africa, and globally, surrounding the issue of teen depression. Having “grown up,” parents and other adults often dismiss the troubles of adolescence as trivial or insignificant. What is vital to remember is that, regardless of whether parents have recently divorced, there was a nasty break-up with a partner, or a failed exam, in the mind of the young adult even the most seemingly ‘insignificant’ event could very often be the tipping point for what has already been a build-up of stress and depression over a period of time. Malcolm Piers* is a 17-year-old living with depression. “No one knew I was depressed. I didn’t even know. All I knew was that I felt empty on the inside; detached. I had no interest in dating or doing the things I once enjoyed. In an attempt to hide the growing ‘darkness’ within me, I would put on a happy face. It wasn’t long before the thought of suicide snuck in. I could have spoken to someone, but who? Who would understand?” Malcolm’s story is an echo for countless voices of sad, confused, frightened teens that feel alone and don’t know where to seek help. Psychiatrist, Prof. Lourens Schlebusch, international authority on stress and suicidal behaviour, has this to say: “In South Africa there is definitely a lack of access to appropriate psychological care for the vast majority of our youth. It is critical to have a thorough understanding of the risk factors and causes of suicidal behaviour in order to deal with them. It is also essential that school children, and students, be trained to identify, and manage, conflict situations and crises that could result in suicidal behaviour. Stress management is particularly important in this respect.” Many schools have wonderful facilities available to teens who seek counselling or guidance. Unfortunately the majority of South African schools do not have such resources. “Regarding child and adolescent mental health policy, introducing a multi-level system (with the first tier incorporating schools) is important,” continues Prof. Schlebusch. “Risk factors in families, children and students need to be identified. Educators should be made aware of suicide risk factors, such as dysfunctional family backgrounds, problematic relationships, changes in living conditions and potential psychopathology in the young.” By doing so, teachers and peers will be better informed as to the signs and symptoms of depression, and the necessary steps to take, therefore preventing young people from perhaps one day attempting (or committing) suicide. A common complaint from the mouths of adolescents with regard to seeking assistance for issues of mental health is a lack of finances – either money is scarce, or teens are afraid to speak to parents about assisting them pay for psychologists etc, as often domestic issues are a part of the problem. The good news is that there are many organizations in South Africa offering assistance to teenagers (and adults) at reduced rates, or free of charge. One such organization is the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG). SADAG offers callers free telephonic counselling, and referral, for all mental health issues. Once a counsellor knows the problem, the caller can be referred to the most affordable (very often ‘free-of-charge’) means of assistance. By calling 0800 21 22 23 between 8am and 8 pm seven days a week, they will find a counsellor on duty. Many youth prefer a sms service and can get help on 31393. One of the most important structures for assisting depressed, or suicidal, teens involves strong support from family and/or friends. If a person is fortunate enough to have strong support systems, it is helpful to speak to those who might be able to offer guidance or advice – even just a willing, caring ear. Many teenagers have a friend who might see the signs of depression (such as a lack of interest in pleasurable activities) and attempt to assist by encouraging open communication. Friends should remember that they aren’t doctors or mental health professionals, and therefore need not panic about having to “fix” a depressed loved-one’s problems. However, simply by being strong support, friends and family give powerful support for a person who, on the inside, feels isolated and alone.  A FEW SIGNS OF TEEN DEPRESSION:  Lack of energy, motivation, constant tiredness Anger, aggression, sadness, guilt, fear Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness Drop in marks or sport performance Ageneral ‘change’ in character (can be subtle) For more information on teens and depression, if you yourself suffer, or know someone who is displaying the warning signs of depression or suicide, please call SADAG (toll-free from a landline) on 0800 21 22 23, join our Facebook page ‘The South African Depression and Anxiety Group’ , or visit the SADAG website www.sadag.org  

May 5, 2017
BLM Photography

Having a baby? Have you considered birth photography?

That moment when you hear the baby crying for the first time always brings a lump to my throat.  Watching the slideshow of a baby’s birth day is an emotional experience no matter how often you see it.  And being there to photograph it for the family is one of the most rewarding things I have been doing for the last two and a half years. Birth photography is a new concept in South Africa.  And yes, it does mean that a photographer is there and taking photographs at the birth of your baby. There is no posing or direction.  It’s not intrusive and interfering.  It’s respectful and honest.  It’s about the relationships and events as they unfold.  Many couples even forget that we are there.  But they will never forget the birth of their baby because we’ve been there. Birth photography is about storytelling.  The story of a birth told through images from the hour/s before the birth when anxiety levels are high and stress paints the faces of the parents, through the nerves of the birth itself, the relief and excitement following the birth and the sheer love and calm of bonding and getting to know the newest member of the family. Whether it’s a natural or C-Section delivery each birth story is unique and special in it’s own way and a professional birth photographer’s goal is to document YOUR exclusive story in a way that enhances your memories of your baby’s birth. Here are our top 8 reasons for commissioning a birth photographer… There is a lot happening during labour and birth and most labouring Moms are inwardly focused during this time. She has a big job to do. The photographs from the birth help the birthing Mom to see the details, the support offered as well as even her own strength and courage.  She will most likely not be aware of her surroundings at the time.  Many clients say they treasure seeing how their partner’s emotions change through the birth process and realizing how involved they really were and equally how strong and powerful they themselves were. Births typically take place in an environment with low light.  There may only be a few candles to light the room and flash photography may not be allowed or may be too distracting.  Your professional birth photographer will have the equipment and experience to take beautiful photos in this tricky lighting situation.  It’s no piece of cake being able to take photos in the near dark and it doesn’t make sense for the birth partner to be struggling with this or finding afterwards that the photos didn’t come out well. Speaking of birth partners, when having a baby, you choose a birth partner to be present with you and FOR you.  Having a professional birth photographer there allows your partner to do just that, and not be distracted by taking photos.  It’s especially wonderful for their involvement to be recorded. Another area where experience really counts is that your birth photographer will have a good idea of how events during a birth are likely to unfold.  This means that they are more ready to get those ‘once in a lifetime’ shots that are so special and important to you. A professional birth photographer is also aware of the medical environment that the birth is taking place in and will be able to ensure that they are not in the way of the medical professionals involved and pose not threat to the health and safety of the new baby. Let’s be honest.  Birth is visceral. A birth photographer works hard to make sure that your photos are a tasteful reflection of the birth with as much modesty as you require. A difficult birth can be very traumatic.  Seeing what happened from a different and perhaps more objective viewpoint has been very helpful in assisting with healing and acceptance after a traumatic birth experiences. After giving birth your primary focus is your little one.  There is a lot going on and life as you knew it has changed and become fuller in every way… including your time.  It’s definitely more limited.  It’s a huge benefit having someone else take care of putting together yourbeautiful birth story for you so that you don’t land up with photos on different devices, which are probably not backed up and will most likely never be compiled into one succinct and easy to access memory for you to revisit again and again.  With a box of tissues most likely. But don’t take our word for it.  Our clients say it best.  “How do I put into words how perfectly Bronwyn encapsulated the birth of our son into a moving birth (photo) story? Our proudest moment yet, so beautifully and modestly portrayed, for us to visit again and again (and again). Bronwyn was so discreet in the delivery room, and picked up on every emotion felt. Besides every one of our brand new baby, my favourite pictures are those where she captured my husband’s emotions. A relaxed composure at first, then he looked a bit stressed (with wild hair) as the delivery got more intense, and then the utter relief once Harvard was born. I am so grateful that she was there to freeze that perfect moment in time for us. Thank you Bronwyn.” – Jodi Next time I’ll go into a bit more detail about what you can expect from your birth photographer and how you can go about finding the right one.  In the meantime you can visit www.gabp.co.za or look for Gauteng Association of Birth Photographers on Facebook for more information.

May 4, 2017
Bill Corbett

Can We Keep It In A Jar?

A parent recently sent me this question via email:  “Our preschool daughters caught a lizard in the backyard and my husband told them they could keep it in a jar.   I told them it was nature and they had to let it go.  They both threw a tantrum and a meltdown ensued.  Should I have gone along with my husband?”   Aside from the fact that the parents were not working together as a mutually supportive team, they were also too focused on the lizard as an object.  Instead, they could have used the capture of this lizard as an opportunity to teach the girls a little bit about respecting nature, our partnership with the world around us and an appreciation for different life forms. To this mom I would say “You were both right.”  There is so much to show and teach your children about this remarkable world we live in.  Match the wonders of nature with the powerful sense of wonder in your children’s mind and you might just get them away from the computer, the television and the DVDs long enough to learn more.  You might even have some memorable together-time moments that will build your relationship with them. I suggest she allow them to keep it very briefly and then let it go.  While holding it in a glass jar to be examined, take some digital pictures of it and allow the children to decide which ones are their favorites.  Take the kids to the local library and research just exactly what a lizard is, what it eats and the most favorable conditions for its habitat.  Allow the children to decide where they’ll let the little creature go and allow them to participate in the release as much as possible. This situation is also a great opportunity for an outing to your local state park to walk and examine more nature first hand.  Before you leave, see if the park has a Web site with a schedule of planned activities.  During the warmer months many parks have activities designed to encourage our children to connect with nature.  You’ll find nature walks, demonstrations, re-enactments, guided tours and arts and craft events, just to name a few. Once the little creature is released, it doesn’t mean he’s gone and the experience is over. Instead, the creativity can now begin. Go back to those digital photos you saved and pull them into an art or photo computer program to modify.  You can blow them up, print them out, or modify them with special effects to create some wonderful art projects.  There are special programs for children that will allow for importing photos so the kids can color them or decorate them.  If you don’t have software that will allow you to do that, pull the pictures up on the screen and allow your children to draw and color their own free-hand versions of the creature to share with family. At this point the little lizard is physically gone but the experience can continue as your children explore their own imagination and creativity as the result of an actual experience.  Capturing a little piece of live nature temporarily to see and enjoy can be so enriching when someone is there to coach them properly.  It’s also a great opportunity to shut off all the electronic noise around them for a while and allow them to open their eyes to the true beauty around them.

May 3, 2017
Paarl Dietitians

Cravings, Cravings, Cravings

‘Cravings’ are often the cause of overindulging and cheating on everyday healthy eating that contributes to weight gain. But…did you know that your ‘craving’ could be the cause of a deficiency in your diet or your body telling you that it needs a certain nutrient. Continue reading, if you want to know which nutrients you really need to nip those ‘cravings’ in the bud. Craving this…. Means you may be missing this… General overeating The science behind overeating, hunger and cravings is vast and can easily fill a book. We overeat for many reasons — hunger (the rumbling in your stomach) and appetite, of course — but also when we are tired or to celebrate, to be social, to soothe and to relieve boredom. However, a lack of silicon (found in nuts and seeds), tryptophan (found in cottage cheese, raisins, sweet potato and spinach) and tyrosine (present in orange, red, green fruits and vegetables, Vitamin C supplement) could also contribute to overeating. If you ‘crave’ the following foods, it could be your body telling you what you really need. Hormones and cravings As many as 70% of women suffer from PMS-related food cravings, bloating, fatigue, sleep disturbances, mood swings and irritability – any of which have the potential to sabotage a healthy diet. First, you have food cravings, usually for sweet, starchy foods with an underlay of fat, like chocolate ice cream. And then, your bad mood makes you say, ‘To hell with it!’ You lose your willpower to exercise and any control over what you are eating. What do we eat when those cravings hit? Chocolate is no. 1 on the hit parade, followed generally by other sweets. Salty foods, particularly chips, are a distant third. The hormonal ebbs and spikes that occur throughout a woman’s cycle are the major culprits in PMS. Cravings during PMS could further be exacerbated by a deficiency in zinc! Cravings, foods and moods Food also influences our mood and mood influences our food choices or could be the cause of you succumbing to that ‘craving’. If you find that your mood changes after meals and snacks, it may be that you’re lacking the nutrients that can help promote good mental health. Anxiety is often due to a deficiency of folic acid and magnesium. Folic acid can be found in foods such as meat, spinach, beetroot and asparagus. Depression could be made worse if your diet is lacking in vitamin B6 and B3 found in lean meat, oily fish (salmon, trout, tuna), whole grains, some fruits and vegetables as well as avocado. If poor concentration & attention is a problem then you need omega-3 fats and Vitamin B1 found in pork, seafood, whole grains, seeds and most vegetables. Insulin: Fuel for cravings Insulin resistance is a condition in which the body produces insulin but the body’s cells do not use the insulin properly. Insulin helps cells use blood glucose for energy. After you eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner, insulin is released into the bloodstream. Insulin’s job is to give muscles and organs permission to access sugar in the bloodstream. When people are insulin resistant, their muscle, fat and liver cells do not respond properly to insulin. As a result, their bodies need more insulin to help glucose enter cells. The pancreas tries to keep up with this increased demand for insulin by producing more. When there is too much insulin present, it contributes to sugar cravings as well as the “mid-afternoon lows.” Eventually, those sugar cravings lead to weight gain if we give in. Insulin resistance increases the risk of developing pre-diabetes, type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease. A person is classified as being insulin resistant if their middle circumference is >88cm (women) and >102cm (men). So get those measuring tapes out……or alternatively your Dietitian would be able to arrange for the necessary blood tests to be performed to determine if you are insulin resistant. Insulin resistance is a major global health concern that proves to be difficult to combat. Are you a victim? Tips on controlling those nasty cravings Have regular meals as well as snacks and DON’T skip meals. This will help maintain healthy blood sugar levels and prevent cravings. Limit starchy carbohydrates intake to meal times only and choose Low Glycemic Index starches. NO Starchy carbohydrate snacks – rather choose lean protein e.g. biltong, a small portion of nuts or yoghurt Exclude refined sugar like jelly, sweets or biscuits – this will only make the cravings worse! Know your metabolic rate: use it as an indication of the total carbohydrates that you need (and are allowed to eat) in a day –Your dietitian would be able to measure this for you. Have yourself checked out! Our dietitian’s take a complete diet history, assess your diet and establish which nutrients you are lacking in. Anél, Caryn or Sanmare can then advise you on how to make the necessary dietary changes to ensure a nutritionally balanced diet. If you are concerned about the nutritional adequacy of your diet, then make use of a good quality, comprehensive multi-vitamin/mineral supplement. Ask your dietitian for advice. Craving sugar and carbohydrates? Then consider using a chromium supplement. Chromium helps to maintain blood-sugar levels, by assisting insulin to do its job and keep the blood-sugar levels even which reduces sugar cravings. You require 200 mcg Chromium, twice a day, for control of cravings. Some forms of chromium may be toxic – so make sure you use the correct supplement. Discuss this with your dietitian, otherwise come and have a look at the practice where we stock the correct brands of chromium. Brushing your teeth is a tactic to help avoid late night snacking, which is mainly something that’s habitual. Many times when we eat late at night, it’s by force of habit, not because we are really ‘craving’ or hungry. Another tactic is to avoid the kitchen after a certain time at night, say 8pm. Many of us go in the kitchen like mindless zombies looking for stuff to munch on, so this “no kitchen re-entry” rule

May 2, 2017
Parenting Hub

HypnoBirthing® The Mongan Method

Birth is a deeply spiritual event, mysterious and miraculous. The arrival of a newborn is awe inspiring and ultimately life changing. But it is exactly how that newborn comes into this world that leaves many new parents heads spinning. There is so much fear of pain, blood, risk and pressure from every direction. Everyone expects birth to be painful and there is so much negativity toward any mother planning a natural birth. Imagine a dimly lit room with tranquil music playing in the background. A woman in labour is breathing deeply and connecting to her body and baby while her partner supports her by speaking words of encouragement and applying a gentle touch. Her midwife or Doctor respectfully monitors the mother until the baby is ready to be born. The mother adopts a position that she is most comfortable with and breaths a new life into the world. The baby is welcomed by two calm and loving parents. Overwhelmed by this precious new being, the new family are allowed to spend time bonding with little interference. A far more gentle start to life. HypnoBirthing® is a complete childbirth programme that teaches self hypnosis, relaxation and breathing techniques for a gentle and easier birth. A woman’s body knows instinctively how to give birth so there is no need to teach the mother “how to give birth”, but rather teach her how to rid herself of fear. When the mind and body are relaxed we can focus on birthing our babies gently. HypnoBirthing® was founded by Marie Mongan 18 years ago.  As a qualified hypnotherapist and hypno-anaesthesiologist she developed this unique childbirth method to help eliminate fear and pain from childbirth. After her own daughter fell pregnant and expressed the desire to give birth naturally, Marie used her own knowledge of counselling and hypnotherapy to develop the HypnoBirthing® programme for her daughter and 2 friends. After these successes the programme grew wings. Many hypnotherapists and childbirth educators became practitioners and soon the appeal became mainstream. Today HypnoBirthing® is taught in 22 countries and that number keeps growing.. The origins of HypnoBirthing® lie with the work of Dr Grantly Dick-Read, a British physician in the early 1920’s. After extensive research and his own experiences with women in labour he came up with the Fear-Tension-Pain theory. The fear that a women feels during childbirth causes blood to flow away from her uterus into the arms and legs to help her flee from the anticipated dangerous situation. The more fear a woman has, the more tension is held in her body and the more pain she will feel. Some midwives even report that they have seen a uterus that is white with fear. Dr Read believed that if the woman can eliminate the fear, the uterus will return to its normal function. So why hypnosis? There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding hypnosis. Many people think it is some scary way to control someone’s mind or body. In truth hypnosis is merely a focused relaxation. You know the feeling you get when you are immersed in your favourite activity and the rest of the world disappears? By learning how to achieve this relaxed state you can control any tension caused by fear or anxiety. This allows a mom to approach birth feeling calm, confident, aware and in control. Not only do the breathing techniques teach you how to remain calm, release endorphins and improve your lung capacity but this relaxed birthing method has many benefits. It enhances pre-natal bonding and improves sleep throughout pregnancy. During labour moms experience less need for pain relief or interventions and often find that their labours are shorter. HypnoBirthing® babies are well known for being calmer, sleeping and feeding better. Moms recover faster as their births are less likely to be traumatic. There is also a decreased incidence of post natal depression for mothers. It is of course true that not every birth goes according to plan. Parents are therefore taught when to recognise the need for medical intervention. By making educated decisions mothers remain in control and are able to cope better often utilizing the breathing techniques to reduce stress. HypnoBirthing® allows couples to enjoy the incredible journey of bringing a new life into this world in a calm and centred manner. Through HypnoBirthing® a mother can learn to call upon her natural strength and ensure she is calm, confident and emotionally ready for the miracle of birth.

May 1, 2017
Parenting Hub

Stress in the family

Family Stress can cause extreme anxiety in the child and it is complex with many different factors contributing to the feeling. If a child is resilient and has been taught the skills to recognize their parent’s emotions, they will be able to process the moment whilst keeping their own anxiety intact. This relates to a number of variables but is primarily dependent on the kind of anxiety being experienced and whether this impacts on the child on a short or long term basis. The most common stressors for adults and children are related to the 3 D’s: death, divorce, dissertation. Loss of a family member through any of these can manifest in a sense of helplessness and lack of insecurity in the child. When the stress can have a direct impact on the child, then it is important to discuss this with them. The child however should not be made to feel guilty or become part of the solution and they should be allowed to express their feelings. The parent needs to be aware that there are 3 stress responses: Positive Stress Response – this is normal and is essential for the healthy development of a child. It builds resilience and elevates the child’s ability to deal with future stress. eg. going to the dentist or starting a new school Tolerable Stress Response – This can be caused by a variety of things which the child is unable to control such as natural disasters or being a victim of crime/accidents. When dealt with in a positive way, the child can recover from the stressful situation. Toxic Stress Response – Exposure to prolonged stress,  can disrupt the development of the brain architecture and can cause developmental delays, mood disorders, health problems, depression and substance abuse later on in life. Stress in children can be measured by a variety of things and parents should be on the look out for : change in sleeping or eating patterns, increased aggression, concentration problems, overreacting to minor problems, lack of motivation, inability to control emotions, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, withdrawal. There are 7 key ingredients that a parent can teach their child to implement to prepare their children in dealing with stress: 1. Getting enough exercise, choosing healthy eating patterns, getting enough sleep, Positive leisure time/hobby, Education & goal setting, Communication & Asking for support when needed.

April 28, 2017
Edublox - Reading & Learning Clinic

When children read well, yet lack comprehension

A common reading disorder goes undiagnosed until it becomes problematic, according to the results of a five-year study published online in the journal Brain Connectivity. Dyslexia, a reading disorder in which a child confuses letters and struggles with sounding out words, has been the focus of much research into reading. That is not the case, however, with the lesser known disorder Specific Reading Comprehension Deficits or S-RCD, in which a child reads successfully but does not sufficiently comprehend the meaning of the words According to lead investigator Laurie Cutting at Vanderbilt’s Peabody College of Education and Human development, a person with S-RCD will explain it like this: “I can read Spanish, because I know what sounds the letters make and how the words are pronounced, but I couldn’t tell you what the words actually mean.” “When a child is a good reader, it’s assumed their comprehension is on track. But three to ten percent of those children don’t understand most of what they’re reading. By the time the problem is recognised, often closer to third or fourth grade, the disorder is disrupting their learning process,” Cutting said. Researchers have been able to pinpoint brain activity and understand its role in dyslexia, but no functional magnetic resonance imaging or fMRI studies, until now, have examined the neurobiological profile of those who exhibit poor reading comprehension despite intact word-level abilities. Neuro-imaging of children showed that, while reading, the brain function of those with S-RCD is quite different and distinct from those with dyslexia. Those with dyslexia exhibited abnormalities in a specific region in the occipital-temporal cortex, a part of the brain that is associated with successfully recognising words on a page. Those with S-RCD, on the other hand, did not show abnormalities in this region, instead showing specific abnormalities in regions typically associated with memory. “That there will be defects in the brain areas concerned with memory makes sense,” says Susan du Plessis, director of educational programs at Edublox Reading and Learning Clinic. “Several studies have confirmed that reading comprehension relies heavily upon both working memory and long-term memory. “Short-term memory holds information in the mind for only a few seconds while it is being processed. Long-term memory is where such processed information is permanently stored. Working memory is an intermediary and active memory system in the information processing area of the brain. It is an important memory system and one that most of us use every day,” explains Susan. Sentence comprehension depends heavily upon adequate working memory. For example, working memory is required to comprehend sentences that are complex in structure such as, “The clown that is hugging the boy is kissing the girl.” It helps us interpret sentences that are lengthy, “Do every other problem on page fifteen and all of the problems on page sixteen before checking your answers in the back of the book.” We use working memory when preservation of word order (syntax) is important to correctly understand a sentence like; “It was the boy’s ball and not the girl’s that was dirty.” “The good news is that weaknesses in cognitive skills can be attacked head-on,” says Susan. “The key is to identify the specific weaknesses, such as a poor working memory, and to strengthen these mental skills through training and practice.” If you suspect that your child has a cognitive deficiency, Susan suggests that you get appropriate help as soon as possible. “The gap between children with and those without cognitive deficits gets wider and wider and may become more difficult, and later impossible to close,” she says.

April 28, 2017
Parenting Hub

Is your child coping in class?

We’re a couple of weeks into the new school year,  this is a good time to assess how your child is coping at school. A child who is struggling to grasp new concepts or cope with the workload could be challenged in one or more developmental areas. There are three areas of human develop that can influence a child’s ability to learn, namely physical, emotional and cognitive development. While these three areas are distinctly different they are connected in many ways. Due to this interconnectedness, your child might present with a problem in one area, but its cause actually lies in another. It is important to understand these development areas in order to assess where your child is excelling and where they may need help. Your child’s physical health can influence how they perform at school. Children are naturally exuberant; a child that is exhibiting signs of listlessness or lethargy could be experiencing health problems. A healthy diet, moderate exercise and good sleeping patterns are tantamount to the health of your child. General practitioner, Dr Linda Baigent, says that the human body needs a good balance of carbohydrates, protein and fats as well as vitamins and minerals to develop and function properly. “Many vitamin deficiencies result in poor functioning of our nervous system and an inability to concentrate,” Baigent adds. “Children require more sleep than adults and a good night’s sleep is extremely important; nine to ten hours is vital for primary school learners. If your child is going to bed early but still seems tired, they may be a restless sleeper and may be suffering from allergies, post nasal drip, an iron deficiency or ear problems” advises Dr Baigent. “This warrants a trip to the family doctor.” Your child’s emotional development relates to their feelings, how they handle situations and processes their emotional reaction to them. Emotional intelligence or EQ is a person’s ability to measure, identify and control their emotions. When your child reaches a maturity level where they are able to control their emotions, they are likely to be able to handle times of stress or disappointment better, show empathy to peers in difficult times and feel more confident about themselves and their abilities. Educational psychologist Annemi Scheepers says, “Problems at home can be challenging for your child to handle and may filter across to affecting their performance at school. Sibling rivalry, fighting between parents, divorce, the death of a close relative or an emotionally unavailable parent (though physical or mental illness) are just some of the problems which may occur in the home environment and affect your child in the classroom.” Within the school environment, an emotional problem may be a school yard bully, lack of social skills (no friends) or teacher/child conflict. Scheepers also notes that a physical illness which has not yet been diagnosed could also affect a child emotionally. Cognitive development refers to your child’s ability to learn, reason and solve problems. Cognitive skills like concentration, perception, memory and logical thinking are mental skills which are used to acquire knowledge. “These can be described as a child’s tools for learning,” explains Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programs at Edublox. “When a child struggles to acquire knowledge in certain areas, it may indicate a cognitive skill deficit.” If you know what to look for, cognitive problems are easy to spot. Does your child reverse letters like b and d or confuse numbers like 65 and 56? Do they have trouble with sequencing and putting letters in the incorrect order, for example write ‘act’ instead of ‘cat’?  Speak to your child’s teacher to find out if your child struggles to copy correctly from the board or if they battle with story sums. If you suspect a cognitive deficit, du Plessis suggests that you get appropriate help for your child as soon as possible. “The gap between children with and without cognitive deficits gets wider and wider and may become more difficult or even impossible to close,” du Plessis says. Du Plessis offers the following advice to parents when selecting a clinic to help their child’s cognitive development: Have your child assessed, but budget wisely. The assessment is the first step; your budget should go towards helping your child. Go to your first appointment with a critical mind and ask questions such as, “What method will be used to help my child? What is the theory behind the method? Can you show proof of success? Will my child be safe? Will my child enjoy it?” If they hate going, they won’t learn anything. Get your full money’s worth. While tutoring your child, the teacher or therapist should not answer calls or leave the room to check on dinner. Assess the help. You should see visible results and ultimately an improvement in schoolwork. If this isn’t evident, the method may not be working for your child.

April 26, 2017
Parenting Hub

Toddlers and food

Solving a complex problem at work, finally achieving a personal goal is nothing compared to your child finishing a whole plate of food. Isn’t it amazing that no matter how big your accomplishments in your day, NOTHING, absolutely nothing compares to the satisfaction you get watching your toddler successfully finish a meal. You can sleep peacefully know your baby has eaten ‘well’! Having a fussy eater is more common than you may think. While some babies eat almost anything they can get their little hands on, other babies are a lot pickier. Some fussy eaters are simply trying to express their independence with a say in what, when, where and how they eat. Others just need some coaxing, distraction and gentle encouragement. Perhaps your family dinner table has become a battleground? Then it is time to take the stress out of mealtimes with your toddler and child, end the arguments over food, and feed your fussy eaters. There is nothing like a food battle to cause stress and anxiety in parents – take heart and remember fussy eating isn’t just common, it’s normal! Understanding your child A classic time for problems to arise is when your baby is 12 months old. As a child is more aware of the world his natural instincts make him more suspicious of new foods. Nature’s way of protecting us from eating food that is potentially harmful. If you’re one of the lucky parents that sailed through weaning, another common time for problems to arise is during the challenging 2’s. Having lulled you into a false sense of security, your toddler could wake one morning with dietary requirements that even a top chef would struggle to meet. Children’s appetites are affected by growth cycles and they have different taste preferences to adults. You will encourage her appetite to work properly if you give her more when she’s hungry and let her eat less when she’s not interested. Growth slows down and appetites fluctuate between one and five years of age. Studies have shown that most children get plenty to eat even if it seems like they are barely eating at all. Try looking at mealtimes from a child’s perspective. Toddlers have a different agenda: from their point of view, eating is a waste of their playing time, and if we make mealtimes boring by nagging, it’s even worse. Some practical tips Here are some tips to help your little fussy eater learn to eat better, while giving you some peace of mind. Put your mind at rest: If you are concerned about the health of your child, take her for a check up at the doctor to rule out any potential health problems. Keep a food diary for 2 weeks and record EVERYTHING that she eats and drinks (include quantities). You can then get this assessed by a health professional to assess adequate nutritional intake. Give an appropriate vitamin & mineral supplement during the fussy eating phase. Stay off the battle field: Remember picky eating can also be a child’s way of asserting his independence and may have less to do with the actual food than his need to push the limits of your authority and assert some control over his life. This is why pressurizing a child to eat often back fires and you become a ‘casualty of war’. Wean at the appropriate age Weaning late has shown some link to fussing eating. Parents who delay introducing their babies to chewy food and a variety of tastes could find their babies grow up developing food fads. A recent study showed that babies should be introduced to a more varied diet between the ages of 6 to 9 months to decrease the risk of becoming fussy eaters. Babies learning to eat will spit food out, and this is more than likely due to a ‘tongue-reflex’ action than a sign that your baby doesn’t like the food. Keep trying with that food and soon he will get used to it and swallow. Fun food presentation Sandwiches cut into moon shapes, cracker with a smiley face, carrot sticks as soldiers and apple boats can make food presentation more enticing Presenting meals as a smorgasbord from which they can pick and choose from a variety of colours, shapes and textures. Toddlers and young children prefer foods that are identifiable and not one big mush. Using a compartmentalized plate that prevents different foods from touching is a great help. Make mealtimes fun and relaxed Use it as an extension of playtime and time when you and your baby can bond uninterrupted (no cell phone calls or sms’s !!!). Do puzzles, read a book, tell a story. Educate Talk about the food and its value in simple terms. E.g. this piece of chicken will help your muscles grow strong like daddy (or superman!!) and this carrot will give you beautiful eyes like Cinderella! Involve your child in food preparation By involving your child they will be likely to eat what THEY have made and may eat a bit while preparing their meal. Empower your child in decision making Allow your toddler to choose between two food options. Children are more likely to eat food they have chosen for themselves. Serve simple, easy to prepare meals. There is nothing more demoralizing than spending ages cooking a gourmet meal for your baby, who after the first spoonful turns her head away. Prepare easy meals that you know your child likes and should they refuse the food, offer one alternative that is a sure win e.g. Yogurt. Milk intake By the age of one, babies need drink only 500ml of milk daily. Most babies can go onto cow’s milk from one years of age unless health reasons dictate otherwise. Do not substitute milk for meals Social eating People are social beings as are our children. Nothing makes a toddler want his food more than having another toddler after his food. Invite a friend over who has a good appetite and watch how

April 26, 2017
Parenting Hub

Three Pieces of Valuable Advice for Single Dads

Not so long ago, when a couple with children split, the mother was almost always declared the primary custodian. But this isn’t always the case anymore, as sometimes dads can be awarded primary custody or, as is most common, joint custody of the children is awarded by the court, granting both parents equal time and responsibility for raising their children. This is a positive change as far as the well being of the children is concerned, but it can leave divorced dads with a variety of challenges which they may or may not be prepared for. Here are 3 pieces of valuable advice for single dads, to help you be the best father you can be. Balance Most wellness experts agree that the key to a truly happy life is balance; balance of work, play, family, friends, social time and personal time, etc. Finding this balance, however, can be exponentially more challenging for single parents, as they find themselves responsible for so many extra duties throughout the course of a day, as well as extra “roles,” playing the part of both mom and dad at once. The number one piece of advice for single dads is to find your balance, whatever it takes. This may mean taking some time out for your self, which is okay. Parents tend to feel guilty for indulging their personal needs, but in the long run, doing so will make you a happier person and, therefore, a better parent. Love The saying “all you need is love” is pretty true from the perspective of a child. Especially in the case of new dads with infant children it’s important to remember that babies’ needs are actually pretty simple: food, shelter, love. Keep this in perspective and you will find more joy in your new adventure as a single dad, and significantly less stress. Help Single dads and single moms have one thing in common; they most often cannot do it all alone. The major difference then, between single dads and single moms lies in their respective abilities to ask for help. As a single or divorced dad, you are equally capable of caring for and nurturing your children, but there is no shame in asking for assistance from time to time. If you have willing friends or family members close by, that’s best, but if you have to hire a trusted babysitter to grab yourself a little “me” time, that’s okay too. Remember, to be the best parent you can be to your children, you have to find balance in your own life. By making the effort to find that all-important sense of balance, remembering that love is the number one thing children really need, and ditching that often ingrained fear of asking for help, single dads can provide a nurturing environment for their children while also developing a solid bond and a fulfilling parent-child relationship for life. Author: Keith Hancock        

April 25, 2017
Parenting Hub

Are You Allowing Your Child’s Creativity To Flow?

Our creativity is directly linked to the way that we think and is a direct expression of who we are.  In terms of being creative from an art perspective, some of us are more creative than others.  However, we do need to understand that every one of us is creative in one or other form, from being able to problem-solve, through to our ability to connect with people, all the way through to expressing ourselves on canvas or building and making things with our hands. There are a number of ways in which you can encourage and strengthen your child’s creativity : Encourage independence.  Independent thinking and freedom of expression will carry through into your child’s drawings and will interpret into everything that they do. Constantly being entertained by television without being encouraged to find things to do on their own only stifles their creativity.  Teach them how to set aside time for themselves to do whatever they want to (obviously within the confines of your house-rules) – this could be playing outside just running around, riding bicycles, playing dress-up, putting on a play for their parents or drawing and colouring in pictures. Allow your child to make their own decisions : being allowed to think for themselves and come up with a solution that suits their immediate needs, builds your child’s confidence and encourages them to think out of the box, instead of merely following instructions. Provide your children with a creativity corner if at all possible, equipped with everything that they may need to get their creative juices flowing – colouring in pens, paints, paint brushes, sponges, coloured paper, scissors, glue, ribbons, string and any materials that allow them to experience various textures such as fabric, tree bark, pine cones, acorns, dried flowers and leaves.  There is no end to what they can use to express their creativity in a natural way. Work with them to come up with ideas on what they can make with these materials and encourage any ideas that they come up with.  A small reward system, such as a gold star or place of pride for displaying the best drawing of the week, will also encourage them to produce their finest work, even if drawing and creating is something they don’t really want to do. Of course, playing with your child even if for just an hour or two a day will certainly develop their ability to come up with their own creative ideas and build up their self-confidence as you praise and encourage them to use their ideas. Telling stories is another way of expressing and developing their creativity.  Setting aside time before bed at night where everyone gets a turn to tell a story or expand on a segment of a theme that is set aside for that night, not only encourages family time, but extends on your child’s ability to express their ideas in a fun and safe environment. Encouraging creativity from an early age cannot be emphasised strongly enough.  Through independent thinking and enhanced problem-solving, we can only strengthen every aspect of our children’s development as we love and nurture them into free-thinking, self confident adults.

April 25, 2017
Parenting Hub

Is crawling important ?

As the saying goes, “You have to crawl before you can walk.” While there have been cases of babies bypassing crawling to go straight to walking, most babies will become proficient crawlers some time during the second half of their first year. Not all babies learn to crawl in the traditional fashion however. Some do a belly crawl (sliding along on their tummy) – and go straight from there to walking. Some babies prefer to remain upright and scoot around on their bottom rather than crawl. Others crawl backwards! Whether or not babies need to learn to crawl forwards is a matter for some debate. According to some paediatricians and paediatric textbooks, crawling is not an important developmental milestone. The method of locomotion is irrelevant, say the experts, so long as babies learn to get from A to B. However, according to childhood educator Glenn Doman, a pioneer in the field of right-brain training, crawling forwards is an essential skill to master. Doman claims that crawling stimulates the brain to develop convergence of vision – and that as a result, people who skip this phase as babies may find it extremely difficult to learn to read and write as children. In addition, children who missed out on crawling may suffer from speech problems, he says – because the same part of the brain controls both functions. In cases where a child skipped crawling or did very little crawling as a baby, Doman recommends practicing crawling every day for six months. To get a child who knows how to walk to do this, it will probably be necessary for her parents to get down on the floor and crawl around with her! (This should not be tried until two-and-a-half to three years of age, as before that, children are too enamoured with the newfound freedom of walking.) It may sound a little outlandish, but Glenn Doman mothers have attested to their success in improving a child’s speech simply by getting her to practice crawling. The prone position If the importance of crawling is a matter for some debate, the placing of babies in the prone position (on their tummies) is an even more controversial issue, because it could be a matter of life and death. The question is: does sleeping in the prone position put babies at greater risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), or crib death? According to some experts, yes – and the current wisdom is to always put babies to sleep on their backs. According to Glenn Doman, it is more natural for babies to sleep on their tummies. He adds that nighttime is an important time to make use of the prone position, as tiny babies actually belly crawl in their sleep. Which advice you choose to follow at bedtime is up to you. What seems clear though is that maximising tummy time during the day can do no harm – and can indeed encourage the development of your baby’s motor skills. Once in the prone position, your baby will instinctively lift his head (helping to develop his neck muscles), push up with his arms (helping to develop his arm and chest muscles) and push off the floor with his legs (helping to develop his leg and hip muscles). According to Doman, babies get bored when we place them on their backs and leave them to look at mobiles. What they really want is to explore the world – and putting them on their tummies gives them the opportunity to do this. Once in the prone position, a baby can see nearby objects and feels motivated to get over to them. Doman recommends that babies spend a minimum of four waking hours in the prone position – thought that time can be divided into short segments. This is in addition to the time the baby will spend on her tummy while asleep. In reality, many babies hate tummy time – especially if they have not been in the prone position much since birth. Many parents report that their baby fusses or cries to be rescued – even when the baby was the one to turn onto his tummy in the first place! How you deal with this will come down to the degree of importance you place in developing mobility early, as well as your comfort level with your baby crying. Doman recommends that you get down on the floor with your baby. In this position, you can encourage and reassure him, even while refusing to pick him up. Paediatricians generally recommend regular tummy time – although the importance they place on it varies considerably. Some doctors point out that babies are not ready to crawl until they have developed the muscles needed to sit well unsupported. Babies don’t usually cry out of a failure to do something, they say, but rather because the activity being asked of them is developmentally beyond their reach. However, the fact that babies can belly crawl from birth is well documented – and it is this at-first-instinctive crawl that usually leads to the most advanced type: crawling on all fours in a cross pattern (where the right arm moves with the left leg and vice versa). If you decide to follow Glenn Doman’s advice, and can see out the difficult initial period, you should find that your baby stops fussing in the prone position. Indeed, once she has discovered the joys of mobility, she will probably prefer to be on her tummy than in any other position. Learning to crawl Crawling – assuming your baby does it – normally starts between 6 and 10 months of age. Besides giving your baby regular tummy time, preferably on the floor, there are several things you can do to make it easier for him to get moving. Do not overdress your baby, as this would hamper the movement of his limbs and joints. When possible, leave your baby’s feet, knees and elbows bare, as this will give him better grip. To help

April 24, 2017
Parenting Hub

Helping Your Teen Decide on Their Future

Any parent that has been through a matric exam with their child will be able to tell you that it’s a stressful time. Not only do parent and teen have to cope with an enormous workload, but the teen is now also expected to be able to answer the “what are you studying next year?” question posed by friends, family, teachers and everyone else they know. While some teenagers have been preparing for this day, and know exactly where their life will take them next, many teens have no idea as to what they are supposed to do once they close their school text books for the last time. For these teens, a seemingly innocent question is the source of sleepless nights. As a parent, you don’t want to see your child suffer – you want to help them; guide them through life’s many obstacles. And while you only mean well, you could very easily stress out your already stressed-out teen even further if the situation isn’t approached in the correct manner. To help alleviate some of your teen’s worries, and to help them make the best choices for their future, be sure to heed the following advice: Don’t put any pressure on them The worst thing you can do right now is to put pressure on your teen to make life-changing choices. The first and foremost reason is that they could resent you for it. They could also decide to not make a decision, simply to spite you. An even worse alternative is that they choose a course in haste, only to regret their decision later. And unless they’re paying their own way, keep in mind that you’ll be the one who would’ve flushed thousands of Rands down the drain should they decide to drop out. Consider career guidance Guidance from an outside party won’t only be objective, it might also bring to light career options that neither you nor your teen has ever considered. There are a few options available to you – you could either go to any of South Africa’s universities that offer aptitude tests, or do an aptitude test online. The alternative would be to sit with your teen to help them decide on their passion; that one thing they excel in and love to do. This might not lead to a career choice, but it will help steer them in the right direction at the very least. Educate your teen Have you considered that your teen is simply overwhelmed by the wealth of information at their disposal? Perhaps they are familiar with what a university, business college, university of technology or specialist school is, but they don’t know which one is right for them. Sit them down, find out what they know, then fill in the gaps. Map it out for them, so that the information is presented in bite sizes and easily digestible. Tell them about their options Studying isn’t the only option open to school leavers. And even if further studies is your preferred choice, you have to let your teen know there are other options. Being aware of them might be enough to free up your teen’s mind to help him or her decide on a career path. So what are these options? Volunteering, travelling, interning and working while travelling. Some of these can be done from home; others would require flying the nest. Interning would be most helpful when trying to decide on a career, because it’s basically ‘trying out’ a career. Whatever you do, remember that this is not your future – it is your teen’s future. It’s their dreams and aspirations. They are the only person who would need to deal with their decision in five or 10 years’ time. So keep it about them; don’t make it about you. This advice was brought to you by Boston City Campus & Business College.

April 21, 2017
Mia Von Scha

Cultivating An Attitude Of Gratitude

Did you know that the word appreciate has two meanings – to be grateful for, and to grow. That is exactly what gratitude does in your life – the more you appreciate the things, people, experiences in your life, the more you seem to notice things to appreciate and the more good stuff you attract. Teaching kids this basic daily practice is easy and fun – on your way to school get into a habit of taking turns to express things that you are grateful for. It is such an uplifting way to start the day and it helps kids to focus on the positive in their lives – an attitude that will serve them in everything that they do. There are so many things to be thankful for if we stop for a moment and take notice – these can be big or small and could include things like…  I’m grateful for the beautiful tress on the way to school. I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful that today is swimming day. I’m grateful for the person who let me in in the traffic. I’m grateful for the cup of tea that was made for me this morning. I’m grateful for my health. I’m grateful for the car that we’re driving in. I’m grateful for… Listing the positives is easy once you get going. I like to take this to the next level and say thank you for the negatives in my life too… I’m grateful for the headache I have right now. I’m grateful for my grumpy boss. I’m grateful for this traffic jam. The mind is a funny thing, and when we start saying thanks for things that appear to be negative, then it starts wondering, “why am I doing this” and then proceeds to come up with answers… “I’m grateful for the headache because it’s reminding me to drink more water before my kidneys pack up; I’m grateful for the grumpy boss so that I don’t get too comfortable in a job and instead keep pursuing my dreams of working for myself; I’m grateful for the traffic jam for giving me time to really reflect on what I’m grateful for!” Gratitude is like magic in the way it can transform your life – every day list, name, or express your gratitude for at least five things – try it for a month watch how the magic grows. Teach your kids to do this and see what magical lives they create for themselves!

April 19, 2017
Parenting Hub

Peer Pressure- Good or Bad?

 When one considers the connotation of peer pressure, negative images are always conjured in our mind.  We tend to think that as a result of peer pressure, our children can only go one way and that’s the wrong way.  But is it? Indeed, peer pressure can coax our teenagers into bad behaviour.  We see a lot of young people smoking or drinking simply because everyone else is doing it.  Research suggests that teenagers are extremely susceptible to influence by their peers whether it be positive or negative.  They are much more vulnerable to peer pressure than adults because – scientists believe – they get greater pleasure than adults from behaviours they experience as rewarding. They tend to find being liked by other people very gratifying.  During puberty people experience an increase in novelty-seeking and a fascinatingly curious interest in their environment.  And the need to fit in and conform is much higher at this stage than at any other stage in a person’s lifetime. Researchers have found that young people who are resilient against peer pressure or influence are those who are more popular and have families with low dysfunction and high communication skills.  Although peer pressure affects all teenagers and young children, risky and socially unacceptable behaviour tends to be associated with being popular, creating huge pressure on young adolescents who are less popular or have lower self-esteem.  These young ones seem to more easily fall prey to peer influence. However, some people just have a greater need to be different and crave a sense of uniqueness.  This no doubt results in personal pressure to create that different person.  Whilst these people can easily be seen as having a negative influence on their peers, it could be that they are doing so unwittingly.  This type of influence can also have a very positive effect on others, particularly if this need to be different is being handled in a positive way with no negative behaviour involved. Warm parenting with strict boundaries has been linked to teenagers who are more independent thinkers which results in youngsters who are able to make their own decisions without feeling the pressure and being influenced from outside.  Allowing your children to grow up in an environment that instils good self-image and confidence, will ensure that as they become teenagers, they will feel less like they need to conform and be less rebellious.  They are the ones who will be the positive influencers and who will develop from young leaders of today to tomorrow’s much-needed well-rounded positive leaders. There are ways in which parents can assist their teenagers to get through this complex stage in their life.  Talking to your teenager and explaining that they can decline alcohol at a party and going over a strategy that will help them avoid a negative activity and still save face, will give them the confidence to not have to do what their peers are doing just for the sake of it.  Equipping your teenager with prepared responses to negative influences and pressure from their peers to fit in, could be the one thing that saves them from making choices that they will one day regret.  Parents should thoroughly assess their children’s friends and from an early age keep open and honest communication flowing freely.  You can tell your child that you do not like a particular friend without accusation or making them feel incapable of making good choices.  Rather discuss the fact that it is a particular behaviour of that friend that you do not like and communicating in a way that allows your teenager to understand that you are not passing judgement on the person, will make it easier for them to see why you would prefer that they do not hang out together.  Ensuring that they fully understand that society makes judgement by association should influence them to make their own decision to disassociate themselves with any negative influencers. The following are some tips to help teenagers and young children deal with peer pressure: Stay away from peers who pressure you to do things that seem wrong or dangerous. Learn how to say “no,” and practice how to avoid or get out of situations that make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Spend time with other children who resist peer pressure. It helps to have at least one friend who is also willing to say “no.” If you have problems with peer pressure, talk to a grown up you trust, like a parent, teacher or school counselor. The following are some tips that can help parents help teenagers and young children deal with peer pressure: Encourage open and honest communication. Let your child know they can come to you if they’re feeling pressure to do things that seem wrong or risky. Teach your child to be assertive and to resist getting involved in dangerous or inappropriate situations or activities. Get to know your child’s friends. If issues or problems arise, share your concerns with their parents. Help your child develop self-confidence. Kids who feel good about themselves are less vulnerable to peer pressure. Develop backup plans to help kids get out of uncomfortable or dangerous situations. For example, let them know you’ll always come get them, no questions asked, if they feel worried or unsafe.

April 18, 2017
Parenting Hub

Taming our toddlers…

We have all had it happen, our toddler has turned from this gentle and calm individual to suddenly biting, hitting and being aggressive toward not only us but everyone! So why does this happen, what has changed in your baby’s life that they are suddenly owning the name “terrible 2”? The good thing to know is that this behaviour is all part of normal development. With your toddler still learning how to master his or her language skills and having the desire to become independent, this all places them at a very frustrating part of their lives. This does not mean that you need to ignore this behaviour but rather that you guide your toddler to understanding that this behaviour is unacceptable and provide other means for them to express their feelings. Your toddler is at the stage where learning logical consequences for their actions is required. This means that if your child is playing in the ball pit and suddenly starts throwing the balls intentionally at the other toddlers in the way, take him out. Sit down and explain in a calm manner that he can go back but cannot throw the balls at other children. Toddlers don’t possess the cognitive maturity to be able to imagine themselves in another child’s place or to change their behaviour based on verbal reasoning, but they can understand consequences. This means that trying to reason with your toddler will be fruitless. Ensuring that you remain calm is critical. Your toddler will react to your screaming or hitting and will get more riled up. By you controlling your temper and how you handle the situation you will be teaching him on how to control his. Through the setting of clear limits, you need to respond to your toddler immediately when any is aggression involved. Do not wait until the third time of him hitting hus sibling before getting involved. Removing your toddler out of the situation for a brief minute is the best way to provide time to cool down. After a couple times of repeating this behaviour on your part, your toddler will begin to understand that the behaviour has a consequences. More importantly, rather than giving your child attention only when they are misbehaving, try to catch the good behaviour as well. The rewarding of good behaviour should out weigh the bad. More importantly, if you are feel like you cannot cope and require assistance, never be afraid to ask. We all need a little help from time to time and this should not be the reason as to why you are not seeking assistance. Make sure that you take some “mommy time” to ensure that you are mentally fit to cope with your toddler.

April 18, 2017
Parenting Hub

Why First Borns Fuss, Seconds are Resilient and Last Borns Like to Laugh

How can two or three children in the same family be so different? They are brought up in the same broad social environment, under a similar set of rules and an identical family value system. They also come from the same genetic pool yet they can be so different in personality, interests and achievement. While they may be born into the same family they are not born into the same position. The effects of their birth position have a significant impact on children, their behavior and their personalities. In order to really understand children it is useful to look at how their position in the family impacts on their development. If we look at the big three in birth order – first, middle and youngest – we will notice that children born in each position share a similar set of characteristics. Note that birth order presents possibilities only for parents. Also only children share similar birth order characteristics to first borns – they are super first borns. First borns are often more motivated to achieve than later borns. A greater percentage of first borns end up in the professions such as medicine and law. They go for jobs where determination, strong powers of concentration and discipline are valued. First borns are born into a pressured yet treasured position. They are usually the objects of great delight in a family – they are the first. Parents and grandparents often overdo everything with first borns. There is an air of expectancy even before their birth. Names are chosen half way through the pregnancy and photo albums are filled as baby’s every special moment is captured on film. They are the centre of attention, which is an obvious plus if you are a first-born child. The flipside to this adulation is that first borns are coached, prodded and pushed to perform. The expectations are high for first borns, particularly first-born boys, so pressure is something they know all about. It is no coincidence that anecdotal evidence suggest that first born males tend to be lower risk-takers as learners than girls or those in other birth positions. First-born boys fear failure so they often steer away from areas where they can’t excel. Interestingly, some first borns confuse excellence with perfectionism and won’t try unless they can do the perfect job. These kids drive their parents and teachers nuts as they just won’t move out of their comfort zones to take a few risks and even (shock, horror) mess up. This is first-born thing. First borns are trailblazers for parents and for the children to follow. Parents are usually hardest on their first borns in terms of discipline and they loosen up as they move further down the family. First borns usually don’t react well to the arrival of the second born. To parents the arrival of another child means a playmate for their eldest. To the first born the arrival of another child means only one thing –DETHRONEMENT. You can read the headlines: “The emperor loses his crown.” Well not quite. The first-born child does everything in his of her power to retain the favoured first position. He will point out the failings of the second born to his parents. In all likelihood as he grows up the first born may well be less than pleasant to this intruder –particularly if they are both boys. According to Kevin Leman author of The New Birth Order Book there are two types of first borns. The first are the compliant nurturers and caregivers. These children love to please and also love to do well in school as they have a high need for mum or dad’s approval. They also like to look after and care for other children. These compliant nurturers are more likely to be girls. Parents often rely heavily on their first borns and let them take much of the responsibility around the home. The second types of first borns are the aggressive movers and shakers. These children are assertive, achievement-oriented and strong-willed. They are often boys who have the drive but not the skills to be effective leaders. Their bull-in-a-China-shop approach doesn’t always endear them to others. The middle (and in all likelihood the second) child is influenced by his elder sibling. The one rule of thumb about birth order is that children are directly influenced by the sibling above and will differ from that sibling. Frank Sulloway, the author of Born To Rebel, puts it succinctly, when he says that the first rule of the sibling road is that first and second borns will be different in personality, interests and achievement. Generally, the middle or second will be what the first-born isn’t. If the first born is responsible the next in line may well be a pest. If the first born is serious, as they often are, the second borns may well be easy-going and gregarious. Middle born children are victims of bad timing. Born too late to get the perks and privileges of being born first but too early to get the easy ride that youngest receive, middles often feel squeezed between these two siblings and wonder, “Why me?” or “Its not fair!” The positive side to middle borns is that as they are squeezed between two siblings they are good negotiators and generally develop an adept set of people skills. They are often more flexible as their lives tend to fit in more with the first born. Also they tend to spend more time with children away from their family to avoid the frustration of being an outsider in the family. Middle children subsequently can end up with more friends than their elder sibling. Middle born children, particularly if they are surrounded by other boys often become the free spirit or the child most likely to upset (annoy, hassle) his siblings. If you have three children sitting quietly watching television and you suddenly hear a yelp coming from the television room you can bet that the middle child has

April 17, 2017
Parenting Hub

Are you putting your child at risk with their daily body care routine?

Would you clean your child with a chemical that is also used to degrease car engines? Well the startling fact is that Sodium Lauryl Suphate (SLS), an ingredient still in use in many children’s body care products, is also used to clean car engines! Every day our children are potentially exposed to many chemicals — the vast majority of which have never been screened for safety. I’m not a doctor, a chemist or a scientist. I’m a Mom who believes that my child has the right to be free from exposure to harmful chemicals, artificial ingredients and nasty preservatives. When my son was born I felt it was my duty to understand those long lists of ingredients on his skin care products and that I had a responsibility as his mother to reduce his exposure to toxins. Doing my homework has at times been an enlightening journey of discovery while often a shocking eye opener. I had always thought that for these toxins to be harmful they needed to swallowed or inhaled. What I forgot is that the skin is the body’s largest organ and is absorptive. Whether a chemical is soaked in through the skin, or an aerosol spray is inhaled, or suds wash down the drain and back into the drinking water supply – they can easily end up in your child’s body. What I find most alarming is the fact that many of the children’s skin care products on the market are not only harmful to their skin but also to their long term health. Many of these ingredients are known carcinogens (cancer-causing substances) and they are used by the industry simply because they are cheap. When exposed to toxic chemicals, even small doses can affect your child’s sensitive and developing body, leaving them vulnerable to allergies and frequent bouts of infections, colds, and even behavioural challenges. What research is telling us to avoid The following are just some of the synthetic chemicals that have been identified by scientific studies to be harmful to health. Sodium Lauryl Suphate (SLS) and Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate (ALS )- SLS is a surfactant that creates lather in formulas. Often described as being “derived from coconut”, which disguises their toxic nature, these chemicals are commonly used in shampoos, toothpaste, soaps and bubble baths. SLS and ALS can cause severe skin irritation, and are easily absorbed into the body through the skin, building up in the brain, heart, lungs and liver, leading to potential long term health problems. SLS and ALS may also cause cataracts, and prevent children’s eyes from developing properly. Paraben- Parabens are preservatives widely used in skin care and baby products to prolong their shelf life. They are suspected to be carcinogenic and can cause rashes and allergic reactions. Propylene Glycol- Found in many creams and cleansers, Propylene Glycol can cause skin rashes and contact dermatitis, and has been shown to cause damage to the kidneys and liver. Isopropyl Alcohol- Alcohol is used as a solvent in many skin care products. It causes skin irritation and strips the skin of its natural acid mantle, promoting the growth of bacteria, moulds and viruses. DEA (Diethanolamine), TEA (Triethanolamine) and MEA (Monoethanolamine)- These substances are harsh solvents and detergents that are used in body creams as an emollient. They can cause allergic reactions, and long term use of DEA-based products (such as Cocamide DEA) have been linked to an increase in the incidence of liver and kidney cancer. Mineral Oil- Mineral oil is derived from petroleum (crude oil), and is commonly found as a main ingredient of face and body creams. Baby Oil is 100% mineral oil! It coats the skin like a plastic film, clogging pores and stops the skin from eliminating toxins, which can lead to acne and other skin disorders. Other petroleum based ingredients include paraffin wax, paraffin oil and petrolatum. Polyethylene Glycol (PEG)- PEG is used as a thickener in skin care products. PEGs interfere with the skin’s natural moisture balance, which accelerates ageing and leaves the skin vulnerable to bacteria. Talc- Talc is a soft mineral used in talcum powders. Inhaling powders containing talc may be harmful to long term health. Saccharin- Saccharin is an artificial sweetener added to many types of toothpaste. It’s been banned in many countries. We have become so addicted to sweets, we can’t even motivate our children to brush unless artificial sweeteners have been added to them.  How to protect your child from toxins Examine the labels of your children’s skin care products carefully, and learn to recognize ingredients that are harmful to their skin and their health. Don’t be fooled by the words ‘natural’ or ‘organic’ on the label. Many products contain one or two natural or organic ingredients, but they may also contain harmful synthetic chemicals as well. Read all the ingredients and keep an eye open for the ones listed above. Whenever possible, choose products with 100% natural ingredients. Find a company you can trust that will give you simple, safe ingredients. [box type=”note” style=”rounded”]If you value the importance of natural kiddie body care then KiddieKix is offering a limited number of opportunities for Agents to help spread the goodness. Click here for more info. [/box] [hr]    

April 14, 2017
Parenting Hub

Parenting Teenagers – 5 Minutes A Day to Connect With Your Teenager

You drive them to school. You attend their sports games. You even have an occasional meal with them. Yet, you still feel like the relationship with your teenager is superficial at best. You want to be “the go to person” for your teenager, but are not sure how to “break into their world.” There may not even be a lot of conflict between you two, but you still feel more like strangers than confidantes. Wouldn’t it be great if you could connect with your teenager? If you could begin the process of tearing down the walls and help establish some emotional trust and closeness? As a parent you cannot force your teenager to open up to you. All you can do is create a relational environment, that over time, she will know that she can come to you with her problems. A relationship which she knows she will be heard, rather than lectured. An environment where he is certain he can be encouraged rather than ridiculed. A relationship filled with dialogues of sound advice and discussion rather than parental monologues and attempts to control. So how do you begin the process of connecting with your teenager? Here are some suggestions that will take a minimum of 5 minutes per day to enhance the rapport with your teenager. 1. Become an observer A direct key into connecting with your teenager is to find out what influences them or what captures their attention. Where do they spend most of their time? Maybe your son spends most of his time on gaming with his friends, or connecting with them on social networking sites. Perhaps your daughter finds community with her friends on her athletic team or spending time with her friends. By observing, you will gather important information about your teenager that can be a doorway to future discussion. 2. Become a learner Once you have discovered what your teenager likes and what influences their attention, learn more about it and then begin discussing it. The best way to learn about something is to ask non-threatening questions to your teenager about what they like. Non-threatening questions acquire more information rather than demonstrate the need for justification. For example, instead of saying “Why do you like this Facebook site?” try saying “This Facebook site is really interesting. Can you show me some more?” The former can cause your teenager to become defensive raising the need to justify what he enjoys. The latter already communicate his hobby is valid and the fact that you are interested in leaning more about it. Everyone likes to spend time talking about their interests. For teenagers, it makes them feel intelligent and mature. In addition, we all like spending time with those that share in interest in what we like. So, it is with your teenager. 3. Be an encourager View the adolescent years as a learning process. Their judgment and critical thinking skills are developing. This is part of the developmental task they must go through. Teenagers make mistakes. Some intentional, but I believe most of them are unintentional. Just as certain that teenagers will make these blunders; parents will get frustrated during this process. Their decisions will not make any sense to you, and their mistakes can be tiresome. But, when the dust settles, teenagers need to be encouraged. They need to know that they are more valuable to you than their failures. Encouragement comes in many forms. Verbal affirmations, physical hugs, a well written note, calm demeanor and tone of voice are just a few examples that can encourage your teenager. Even more, catch your teenager doing something right and tell him. 4. Be a participator For most teenagers, relationships are more important to them than wealth or prestige. Therefore, choose to become a participant in their world. If you know what captures their attention then find someway to participate with them, even if you do not enjoy it. Many teenagers also value social causes and many choose to participate in them. Find a local community organization that needs volunteers and invite your teenager along. Get creative and find deliberate ways to stay in touch with your teenager. 5. Be willing to get some help with your relationship Often, parents and teenagers can get stuck in rut. Relationships sometimes need outside help to bring clarity and insight. Be willing to seek help from a qualified counselor that specializes in teenagers and parenting relationships. If you go to together, it will make your teenager feel less like the main cause of the problem.

April 13, 2017
Parenting Hub

When To Get Involved (And When To Butt Out)

Problem: A Playdate is Going Downhill Stay OUT If… The tiff is rankling your nerves, not theirs. A good example is if your daughter’s friend proclaims their teacher likes her better than your daughter. If your daughter is unfaxed, even if you’re steaming, leave it alone. A good rule of thumb to follow is: You want to problem-solve with them, not for them. In fact, even loud voices don’t necessarily signal a kid crisis. Flare-ups between your child and a friend can sound testy, but they almost always blow over. Most of the time they work it out, and two minutes later, they’re playing again. Butt In If… The yelling picks up, the dreaded “I want to go home!” is uttered, or, worse, somebody gets thumped. “That’s when I’d intervene,” says Nancy Moreland, a mother of three from Port Elizabeth. Usually, Moreland says, intervention means offering guidance about how to play fair. But sometimes, she adds, if things are really bad, it’s more of a “swoop in and rescue” mission, either helping them start a new game or having them take a break for a snack, which is almost always a quick peacemaker. Problem: Your First-Grader’s Face Drops When He Loses A Family Game. Stay OUT If… You’re afraid losing will hurt his feelings. Losing is one of those stinky facts of life — and it’s no fun to watch, either — but that doesn’t mean you should save your kids from the experience. Once kids are 6 or 7, they should be able to get the concept of winning and losing. “I tell my boys, ‘Everybody gets to win sometimes and lose sometimes,’” says Lisa Porter of Johannesburg, the mom of Ben and Evan, ages 7 and 5. Usually the agony of defeat is forgotten more quickly than you might think, she adds. Butt In If… You start to hear claims like “You cheated!” Cries of foul play can quickly escalate, so redirect your kids to something less competitive. They may also mean a particular game is over their heads. One or both of the kids just may not get the rules or understand what counts as cheating. Problem: Your Child Seems to Have Been Bumped Down on the Sports Rung. Stay OUT If… He doesn’t appear to be bothered by the situation. “Paul is not very competitive, but I am,” admits Rachel Black of Cape Town, whose 11-year-old son recently joined a swimming team. “When he got moved to the slower ‘learning lane,’ I kept worrying that he was going to be sad about it. But in reality, I’m the one who’s sad — he’s fine with it, and I love that about him.” Butt In If… He’s crying “foul” or getting no playing time at all. Grade-school sports are supposed to teach skills by giving everyone a shot — not just the stars. A child with an eye on a top spot should be encouraged to earn it. “Help him talk to the coach and ask, What do I have to do to get to play that position?. Don’t hesitate to speak up yourself if you really feel the coach is being unfair. “It was hard to bring up, but since we did, the coach has been playing most of the kids a fair amount and given our son recognition that has boosted his confidence,” says Angie Tollefson of Cape Town, who became concerned when her 9-year-old started spending most of his soccer games on the sideline. “The coach said that he honestly didn’t realize our son was missing out.” Problem: The Siblings are Squabbling… Again. Stay OUT If… You feel the need to defend the “wronged” child. Frequently taking the side of her youngest child, Willa, often led to hard feelings on the part of her oldest, Emma, recalls Andrea Lehman of Pretoria. Lehman eventually learned that it’s better for nonphysical battles to be worked out by the kids, even if the “negotiations” are hard to bear. Even those younger, seemingly defenseless siblings need to at least try to stand up for themselves. One child ratting out the other may mean the tiff is getting too big for them to handle on their own. Even then, you don’t have to referee. Sometimes, says Lehman, a calm “I think you two are very capable of solving this” can be just the encouragement they need. Butt In If… The conflict escalates, physically or to the point of screaming or crying. There should be a zero-tolerance rule for pushing, hitting, bad words — even if your younger guy is bullying the older one. “My mantra is, ‘You may not call names, and you may not scream,’” says Lehman. “When it gets to the point that the neighbors are hearing every word, I play the Mom card.” “It’s perfectly fine to say, ‘You know what, this is not okay. That’s not what we want to do in this family, and I’m calling a time-out. You guys go to your separate corners,’”. Regroup later when everyone has cooled off to talk about how the situation got out of control and how they could better handle it next time. Problem: Your Child Decides to Dump a Friend. Stay OUT If… She’s just expressing her own likes and dislikes. Preschoolers are usually happy with anyone we pair them up with, but school-age kids have stronger feelings. And as much as we’d love our kids to enjoy the company of certain acquaintances — like our friends’ offspring — they’re entitled to choose whom they pal around with. If your kid is mouthing “No way” when you’re on the phone with another parent, you need to respect that. She might know something you don’t. Maybe a former friend has gotten involved in a nasty clique, or that kid from preschool has turned into a bus bully. Susan Tohn of Pretoria, tortured her 9-year-old daughter, Lainie, by scheduling frequent activities with a particular classmate in spite of her daughter’s protests. “Turns out, the other kid

April 12, 2017
Nirvana Natural Bliss

Infant Massage

Infant massage has a long history in cultures in Asia, Eastern Europe, Latin America and Africa. In particular the practise of infant massage has been done for hundreds of centuries in India, where mothers have been massaging their newborns1. Infant massage only gained popularity in the Western world when Vimala McClure, who had worked at an orphanage in India, observed massage techniques2. She had also observed mothers who had very little in the way of material wealth, appear to  give an abundance of nurturing love by massaging their babies along the roadside2. This love seemed to be expressed through their caring touch with their child. On her return to the United States in the 1970s she had introduce the concept of infant massage to parents in the Western world. The benefits of Infant Massage Research suggests that infant massage has numerous benefits that include: encouraging the interaction between the care-giver and baby; helping baby relax and sleep; a positive effect on infant hormones that control stress and reduces crying3. Studies have also shown improvements in weight gain in preterm babies who receive massage that increase vagal activity and gastric motility4 In 2007, preterm infants exposed to daily stressors in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) showed reduced stress behaviours after massage therapy4. Only 5 days for a total of 15 massages, the preterm infants showed fewer stress behaviours and that massage-therapy had a pacifying-effect to the stressful NICU environment. In healthy full-term infants, regular massage has been shown to relieve common discomforts such as constipation, intestinal gas and colic. It has also been shown to improve sleep, reduce stress behaviours, and regulate and strengthen the baby’s digestive, nervous and respiratory systems. When you should you massage your baby? It is recommended to massage your baby at least 45 minutes after feeding to avoid baby from vomiting. It is also advised to pay special attention to baby’s mood3. If baby turns his or head away from you or becomes stiff in your arms, it might not be the best time to massage and should be postponed. Daily massage should form part of a bath time and bed time routine in newborns2. How to massage your baby? Find a place for massage that is comfortable for you as well as baby and ensure that the room temperature is warm. Playing clam, relaxing music in the background may also enhance the effects of massage. A baby massage consists of various steps from head, tummy, legs and toes. Caution should be taken on not to injure the baby when applying pressure during the massage. A moderate pressure is recommended for optimal results. Here is a free guide on how to massage your baby. What are the best oils for baby massage? In 2010, it was shown that an oil massage for newborns improves weight gain by better thermoregulation6. Transcutaneous absorption has also been suggested as a possible mechanism. If your baby has dry/broken skin or atopic eczema or sensitive skin it is best to avoid vegetable oils that are higher in a fatty acid known as oleic acid found in olive oil. Vegetable oils that are high in linoleic acids are most suitable and gentler on baby’s skin. Mineral oils should be avoided as it may increase the chance of clogging pores. Nirvana Natural Bliss Baby Massage Oil contains jojoba oil that closely resembles the natural sebum of the skin; sunflower oil that is high in linoleic acid content and helps protect the skin barrier that also gives gentle properties.  Lavender and Roman Chamomile oils provide relaxant and soothing properties. Available at takealot.com References Bondurant, C. The Benefits of Infant Massage Accessed www.massagetoday.com, 26 March 2017. Vimala Schneider McClure. Accessed www.iaim.net/about-iaim/our-founder Infant massage: Understand this soothing therapy Accessed www.mayoclinic.org, 26 March 2017. Diego MA, Field T, Hernandez-Reif M. Vagal activity, gastric motility and weight gain in massaged preterm neonates. J. Pediatrics (2005) 147 (1): 50-5 . Hernandes-Reif M, Diego M, Field T. Preterm infants show reduced stress behaviors and activity after 5 days of massage therapy. Infant Behav Dev (2007) 4: 557-61. Field T, Diego M and Hernandes-Reif M. Preterm Infant Massage Therapy Research: A review. Infant Behav Dev (2010) 33 (2) 115- 124.

April 12, 2017
Parenting Hub

Healthy Sensory Habits for 21st Century Parents

Twenty first century parenting is difficult. The demands and influences are escalating and we are continuously being judged by the norms of our society. It is sometimes very difficult for parents to step out or even think out of this mould. We however need to do exactly that in order to nurture our kids optimally without reducing discipline and boundaries. I believe when we understand our children’s stressors and needs on a sensory, emotional and cognitive level, we can prepare them for the life ahead. What is Sensory Intelligence? Sensory intelligence is the insight and awareness of the primitive sensory wiring of our brains and the effect it has on everyday living. How we interpret and interact with the world is the product of sensory filtering through the senses. We see, hear, smell, taste, touch and move and respond accordingly. It is a primitive and unconscious process that occurs uniquely for all of us based on our genetic coding, and is influenced by how we were brought up. What you see, hear, smell, touch, taste and how you move is not necessarily what your child, spouse or friend will hear, smell, touch, taste or how they will move. Due to their unique genetic sensory coding they might be sensitive to a particular sound that you don’t even notice. Our sensory tolerance levels occurs across all sensory systems and will determine what we are sensitive to and thus tend to avoid versus what information we are not registering well and thus seek out. The concept of sensory intelligence is based on the sensory integration theory developed in the 1960’s which was applied to children with developmental or learning difficulties. Yet every child’s senses are a gateway through which information from the outside world is processed and relayed to the brain and this in turn triggers the child’s response to its environment. On a sensory level we as parents are responsible for the stimulation of our children for optimal growth and development. When we know our children’s sensory needs, we are better equipped to optimize their learning environment without under- or over-stimulating them – both extremes may be detrimental to their development. If we strive and work towards providing a balanced environment, we can raise children with a strong self-image and confidence – contributing to their becoming happy, positive, and successful individuals. Some children may thrive in a busy and noisy environment, while others will do better in a quiet, tranquil environment. Some may need multiple sensory stimulation, while others have a low sensory threshold and may very well feel overwhelmed and become irritable with too much going on around them. It is therefore very important for parents to be able to see and experience the world through their children’s individual eyes and unique senses. Sensory intelligence is having the ability to understand your children’s sensory needs and being able to make the necessary adjustments to their surroundings and interactions. Sensory characteristics Some of the characteristics of sensation seekers and sensation avoiders are resembled below. This is a guideline only. How children react to their sensory profiles will be dependent on their home, school, culture and physical environment. Parents should be vigilant and notice the sensory properties of activities and environment to determine for what the child is either sensitive or seeking out. Characteristics of sensation seeking children Active, fidgety, on-the-go, excitable, loud, noisy Continuously engaging, hyperactive, impulsive Take excessive risks, poor regards to safety Constantly moving, touching, biting/mouthing objects Chew on pencils, toys, clothes Bump, crash, tackle – enjoy hard physical contact Move and explore continuously Creative, energetic Need more supervision, safety awareness and strict boundaries When the above symptoms (together with other indicators) present excessively and impact on the child’s learning and development, it is described as SPD (sensory processing disorder). These children are often diagnosed as ADHD (attention deficit disorder). Research do show strong similarities between sensory processing disorder and SPD and then require specialised intervention. Characteristics of sensation avoiding children Emotionally reactive, sensitive, can be anxious Resistant to change, reliant on structure and rigid rituals Hyper vigilant: always scan environment and very intuitive and detail orientated Withdraw from stimuli and/or people Only tolerate limited clothing and/or foods Refuse messy activities Withdraw from touch/cuddles Can be aggressive and demanding When the above symptoms (together with other indicators) present excessively and impact on the child’s learning and development, it is also described as SPD (sensory processing disorder), and in this format sensory defensiveness.Defensiveness can occur in only one system (i.e. touch, auditory) but also in various other sensory systems. Sensation avoiding children have a tendency to experience stress and sensory overload regularly. However, all children, ranging between low to high thresholds, all go through stages of experiencing sensory overload. Sensory overload is often the precursor to stress, anxiety, negative behavior, poor concentration and scholastic difficulties. We tend to live in overloaded and over stimulating worlds and parents should acquire a “less is more” approach rather than “more is more”. Some sensory intelligent tips: Quiet time and spaces are crucial for our children. They need more time out to recharge their batteries. Creating a “womb” space in their bedrooms is a very good strategy. They can use these spaces independently when they are feeling overloaded. It is however very important to stress it as a time-out strategy and not a time-out discipline imposed by the parent! This prepares them for the next activity. Planning and preparation are crucial. When children are prepared in advance they can create internal dialogue for themselves to prepare and get ready. Limit spur of the moment outings and surprises as they prefer predictability and structure. They want to know what, where and how things going to happen. Tactile sensitive children are fussy when it comes to clothing textures. It really does create immense discomfort and sometimes even pain for them. It distracts them continuously and kind of “takes over” the brain so that they get irritated very quickly. Be considerate to their needs when you

April 11, 2017
Parenting Hub

The Importance Of Speaking To Youth About Underage Drinking

Part of growing up is trying new things and at some point most teenagers experiment with alcohol. It is difficult to know at the outset which teens will only experiment versus those who will use alcohol casually and those who will develop serious alcohol abuse issues. Peer pressure becomes intense during the teenage years and is fuelled by adolescents’ strong need to belong to (or be part of) a group. Many teens also find themselves caught up in social situations where they are pressured to indulge in potentially risky behaviour which is often difficult to handle for fear of being ridiculed, isolated or mocked. This can occur in numerous environments including; school, sporting events, bars, parties and even casual get-togethers. Parents play a crucial role in mitigating some of this pressure to conform to the group and need to step up and speak to teenagers about the consequences of their actions. Alcohol abuse can negatively affect their lives if they are not equipped with the necessary information to make the right decisions. The comprehensive dangers of underage drinking are varied and can have lasting effects on both mental and physical development. Teens also tend to binge drink, which can lead to risky sexual behaviour, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. The rise in underage drinking in South Africa has recently come under the spotlight with many alarming statistics being reported. Government has even joined the battle to try and combat the problem by considering legislation to increase the legal drinking limit from 18 to 21 years. According to Adrian Botha, Spokesperson for the Industry Association for Responsible Alcohol Use (ARA), “added restrictive legislative measures are not going to make a difference if they are not enforced and increasing the legal drinking age will not have an impact on the 14 and 15 year old’s who are currently drinking. Education and communication starts at home with active parental involvement and this along with the enforcement of the current limit will address the problem.” The ARA distributes a Teenagers & Alcohol information booklet to schools in Johannesburg and the Western Cape, this booklet reinforces the message of the harmful consequences of underage drinking and aims to assist parents in finding a platform to communicate openly and honestly with their teens on alcohol use. “The issue of underage drinking is of great concern to us and it is for this reason that the ARA has funded the production of the “Teenagers & Alcohol” booklet as a practical guide aimed at encouraging parents to communicate with their children from an early age about the harmful effects of alcohol,” says Botha. Open dialogue with an adult role model helps teenagers to make informed decisions about alcohol and research has shown that teenagers who have regular chats with their parents about drugs and alcohol are less likely to use these substances. Talk with your teen about ways to handle pressure from friends to drink. Teach your teen how to say “no” and to suggest doing something different (safe). To feel comfortable talking openly with you, your teen needs to know that you will not punish him or her for being honest. Talk about family expectations and rules about alcohol use. Clearly state and enforce the consequences for breaking the rules. When your teen wants to talk about alcohol, listen to his or her opinions, help him or her make good decisions, and treat him or her with respect. Get to know your teen’s friends. Know where they hang out and what they are doing. Talk with the friends’ parents about alcohol. Do not serve alcohol to your teen or his or her friends. Be a role model. If you drink, do so responsibly. The ARA has also has ongoing partnerships with the organisations that educate teenagers about the dangers of underage drinking including Lifetalk, through their Speak Up initiative, now in its second year, which is run in schools in Gauteng. Speak Up equips teenagers with the tools of assertion, enabling them to ‘speak up’ against peer pressure and encourage fellow teenagers to do the same. The programme is aimed at learners, parents and teachers. “As parents it is never too late to start having conversations with your teenagers about alcohol and the harmful effect it has on young children. Don’t be afraid to consult professionals if you are faced with this situation. They can also phone the school counsellor to get the details of suitably qualified professionals who have experience working with adolescent alcohol issues,” concludes Botha. For more information contact www.ara.co.za

April 10, 2017
Parenting Hub

Setting a bad example: children unimpressed by parents’ online behaviour

Social media gives us the freedom to communicate with our loved ones, whenever and wherever we want. However, this freedom comes at a cost: blinded by our seemingly happy digital lives we often don’t realise how social media threatens and damages our real-life relationships. New global research from Kaspersky Lab shows that a third of people communicate less face-to-face with their loved ones, and 21% of parents admit that relationships with their children have been damaged as a result of them being seen in a compromising situation on social media.   With people’s tendency to post photos of themselves or others under the influence of alcohol, wearing something revealing or even naked in order to get more “likes”, it is evident that social media can damage offline relationships. But while we would expect parents not to approve of their children’s online behaviour, it is often the other way round. More than a fifth of parents admit that their relationship with their children worsened after they had seen their parents in compromising circumstances on social media. In contrast, only 14% of parents said they were annoyed by their children’s online behaviour. In addition, around one-in-five (16%) people also said that their relationship with their spouse or partner has been damaged as a result of them being seen in a compromising situation on social media.   Relationships with family, friends and colleagues are changing as people communicate less face-to-face as a result of social media. A significant third of people admitted that they now communicate less with their parents (31%), children (33%), partners (23%), and friends (35%) because they can see and communicate with them via social media.   Dr. Astrid Carolus, Media Psychologist at the University of Würzburg comments: “Studies show that today digital communication complements real-life communication. We live in a globalised and highly mobile world resulting in distances between partners and family members. Digital communication is an opportunity to bridge the gaps in our modern lives caused by living in different cities or countries. However, digital communication cannot replace face-to-face communication – at least not always and not completely. Digital communication is less rich in terms of sensory channels affected, resulting in “reduced” sensory quality.”   Although people communicate less face-to-face, around half of respondents believe that the quality of their relationships does not suffer at all and is even better as a result of being connected with their loved ones online. Dr. Astrid Carolus warns that although it seems that the quality of our relationships is improving, people cannot always evaluate their online communication objectively: “Under certain circumstances they perceive their online communication as “hyper-personal communication” and thus they can misread and over-interpret the messages on social media. We feel especially close, we blind out the rather negative, focus on the possible positive intentions behind a message, and over-interpret.”   With the study finding that although social media can help ease communication channels and bridge time zones and distance barriers, it doesn’t always make people happy. It can strain relationships as well as leaving people feeling down and upset, as they constantly compare their lives to those of others. The hunt for “likes” and social validation leads people to share increasing amounts of private information on social media platforms, putting not only themselves but also their friends, family and colleagues at risk. For those who decide to shut themselves off from social media, the reality of losing a lifetime of digital memories, including photos and interactions, can make it difficult to do.   In order to protect themselves and their relationships, people need to be more cautious and cyber-savvy about the information they share on social media. That will not only help to mitigate the risks of the online world, but prevent relationship damage in the offline world. To help people keep their memories safe, no matter how long their online social media journey, Kaspersky Lab is developing a new app. FFForget will enable people to back-up all of their memories from their social networks, keeping them in a safe, encrypted memory container.

April 7, 2017
Net Parenting

The Dangers of the Internet for your Child

“Had I only known what she was up to, I might have prevented this “. These were the words of a father who lost his 17 year old daughter to a highly debated “internet suicide cult” in Bridgend, Wales. She hanged herself upstairs in her room while her father was watching TV downstairs. This is the grim reality of the world where our children are growing up today. With instant access to the internet their worlds have expanded to literally the ends of the earth, ironically confined to a small device such as a cell phone or a computer. With the end of 2012 being at hand, most children are expected to withdraw to their bedrooms or study areas in preparation of the final exams. For some parents it is a relief that their children are now spending more time at home, focusing on the exams, but where this has traditionally been viewed as “good behaviour”, the internet poses new potential dangers to our children. While studying, it is common practise to “take a break”, normally by getting in touch with the outside world via the electronic communication systems available. And right here your child has an opportunity to be derailed from their studies by being exposed to all sorts of obscurities within the cyber world. This can include exposure to pornography, undesirable sites or cyber bullying – where your child, is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, or otherwise targeted by another child. Also by visiting certain chatrooms, social sites or live webcam groups, your child could expose themselves as a possible target for online Sexual Predators who see the process of finding and tracking down a child as a game and a hunt. They use methods such as Online Grooming (when Predators develop relationships by offering whatever a child seems to need, emotionally or literally luring them with gifts) or Online Mirroring (when predators are skilled in playing back emotionally what they see in the child) to try and gain access to the child. There is also Online Phishing ( when a scammer tries to trick you into giving or revealing your personal information”), etc It can be disheartening when we are confronted by all the potential dangers that our children are exposed to, but there is hope. Parents can play an integral part in protecting their children by being involved and focusing on the following: Educate yourself regarding the dangers of the internet. (visit www.netparent.co.za ) Investigate new protection software on the internet. Do not underestimate your child’s technical abilities. Ask your teen to help you adjust your PC privacy settings. This will give you a good sense of how ‘savvy’ they are. Engage in dialogue with your child regarding online activities that are important to them. This might not be your field of interest, but this attitude will hopefully lead to an open communication channel. Educate your kids concerning online shopping and regularly monitor billing statements. Computers should be confined to common areas. Don’t befriend their friends – although befriending their parents is quite acceptable. Reassure your child that they can always share their concerns with you, especially cyber bullying! For your Child: They should never give out personal information. They should never post a picture of themselves that could ever lead to embarrassment. Never post slanderous statements or incriminating comments. They should not download pictures, click on e-mail attachments or visit unsolicited web links from an unknown source. They should never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, or harassing. They must be skeptical as to the truth of what’s said online. Avoid face-to-face meetings with individuals they’ve met online without supervision from a chaperone. They should only accept a friend or follow requests from individuals they have met in person. Parents can also protect their children by installing software on their computers, such as NetParent, that will notify them should the child come into contact with predetermined unwanted content. You will receive an immediate E-Mail or SMS warning the moment preselected content is triggered by Netparent, when your child is busy exploring the internet or typing trigger words on the home PC. Now you can also remotely block and unblock the pc screen via sms. As the saying goes: prevention is better than cure. Be an involved parent during this coming exam season and by doing so ensure a safer and better future for your child. Article supplied by www.netparent.co.za South Africa

April 7, 2017
Breastpumps and Beyond

Things you Should NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman

This is a very serious post! A pregnant woman has more hormones and generally get less sleep than a new mom. So, if you upset her, you might unleash a dragon. All kidding aside, I still very clearly remember my last pregnancy as it was only a couple of weeks ago, Some of the things people said to me actually blew my mind. I was not small in either of my pregnancies and both my kiddies were over 4.2 kg each. I ended up picking up 25 kg and 27 kg, even though, basically all I did was vomit for 5 months. I am that body type that picks up weight easily, an Endomorph the professionals like to call it. The weight is distributed evenly too, so no skinny legs and little bump. So, what were the worst things people said to me during both pregnancies? “WOW, YOU’RE HUGE!” This one is a goodie. It is like people feel the need to tell you how you feel. Well folks, let me explain something here, even when you are pregnant, you still have feelings and it is never nice to hear that you are huge (even when you are). “DON’T SNEEZE, YOU MIGHT JUST HAVE THE BABY NOW” This is fantastic too. Seriously, if sneezing could get my 4kg + babies out, it would save me a huge amount of time and unnecessary pain. Life would be much simpler. “ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE NOT HAVING TWINS?” ah, the inevitable. Yes, I am sure I am not having twins. I have had multiple scans and there is only one baby in there. But I have also had friends that struggled with the opposite problem and my heart went out to them. They were very small and didn’t show very much in the tummy. Again, people said things without thinking. “ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE PREGNANT?” is one of them. “ARE YOU EATING ENOUGH? And even some people go as far as saying that maybe something is wrong and that is why you don’t have a big tummy. These poor moms, just smiled and put on a brave face. So here come my words of wisdom: Think before you speak! Seriously, think about what you are saying. The moms’ medical decisions are her decisions and if she wanted your opinion, she would ask for it. Remember that pregnant woman have feelings too! Keep the horror stories to yourself too. Next time you are faced with a pregnant woman perhaps ask her how she is doing and if you can help with anything. She will really appreciate it. Preggy moms, it is tough being bigger than normal. You go through so much with the aches and pains, heartburn, and nausea. Just remember why you are doing it! The reward it worth it. Some of the best advice I ever received was don’t compare! Everyone is different, so there is no point trying to compare yourself to everyone else. Even each pregnancy is different, so try approach each individually too. Try to have a healthy pregnancy and more importantly do what feels right. A mother’s instinct is strong! The difficulties of pregnancy are one thing but it doesn’t just become super easy once baby arrives either. Your life will never be the same again. You might have a need for things to go back to normal. Striving for a new normal is a more attainable goal. That is where “Balance your lifestyle” comes into play. This is a toolkit for moms that I designed to help you find balance and that new normal, you are looking for. As a Wellness Coach and mom of 2, I had a real need for some sort of structure and balance in my life once I had my kiddies. I quickly saw many other moms were struggling with the same issues and put together this course. So what is it all about? Balance your lifestyle is a 6 module course. Each module is between 30 and 45 mins and they are normally structured on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. The course can be done in person in Johannesburg (Bryanston) or though skype for other areas. What do we cover? Session 1 is all about the end goal. Figuring out what you want and having a game plan on how to get there. This covers your lifestyle and career aspects too. When asking someone what they want out of life, quite often they say, they want to be happy. Yet, cannot define what would actually make them happy. This really helps you define your end goals. Session 2 is all about what makes you tick? Your personality, what fuels your fire? What do you need and what do you need to avoid to get the best out of your relationships. We also chat about the book Love languages, what they mean to you and how to incorporate this technique into you family. Session 3 is all about time. Breaking it down and making it work for you. Aligning your mindset and getting organised. A few small tricks can end up saving you a huge amount of time long term. Session 4 is your personalised stress beating solution. We will establish a solid plan to manage stress, increase your energy levels and boost your immune system. Session 5 is about making peace with your body. Learning to love and appreciate it. How to have a positive self-image and pass that process on to our kids. Session 6 sinks down a bit deeper and looks at how we carry ourselves from posture to etiquette. We also cover your closet detox and coming up with your unique new style. This full course is valued at R4799 for 6 sessions but will be available for a limited time for R1899 payable over 2 months. R949 per month for 2 months . Email [email protected] for a free session. You will also go into the draw to win a free course. This could seriously

April 6, 2017
Parenting Hub

Raising financially smart kids

Type ‘teaching children about money’ into a search engine and most of the information you’ll find makes the point that it’s seldom too early to start. From a much earlier age than most parents think possible, children have the capacity to soak up financial lessons such as understanding the value of things, saving towards something rather than immediate gratification and that money must be earned. Games such as playing shop or even old-fashioned marbles, where the coloured glass balls are the currency, can teach children important financial lessons. Unfortunately, other than the informal market of the playground where marbles or Stikeez substitute for money, most schools don’t formally teach young children ‘money’ or financial principles – it’s largely left up to parents. What are the lessons you should be teaching your children? Marlies Kappers, head of marketing at financial services provider, DirectAxis, says most of the literature touches on seven broad principles. Do you need it? Something that you can do early on is to help children differentiate between wants and needs. Trapped in the supermarket aisle of death leading to the tills, we’ve all seen children, or worse, experienced our own children, whining because parents won’t give in to incessant demands for sweets. Rather than telling children you’re not buying them something ‘because we can’t afford it’, explain that you’re choosing not to spend your hard-earned money in that way. It’s even better if you can say why: ‘I’m saving some money so we can go to the movies together in the school holidays’. Understand the value of money Games such as shop-shop, where children ‘buy’ differently priced items with loose change or even marbles are a good way of starting to teach young children the value of money. As they get a bit older you can take the lessons to the real world and ask them to help you do price comparisons between items in the supermarket. Explain why you make the choices you do. For example, it may seem more expensive to buy a larger bag of rice or potatoes, but it’s cheaper than buying two smaller bags. Using price-comparison apps such as pricecheck, or by visiting https://www.pricecheck.co.za , you can get older children involved in checking where you can get an item at the best price. You control your pocket money There’s no hard-and-fast rule about when to start paying pocket money, but there seems to be a general consensus that about age six is a good time. Pocket money is an important step in teaching children financial responsibility. If you give them some money every time they want something, they may struggle to grasp the value of money and the basics of budgeting later in life. Initially, pay children pocket money once a week. As they get older you can make this once a fortnight and later once a month. This will teach them to make it last. Money is earned Building on the lesson about understanding the value of money, children must be taught that pocket money is earned, not given. They can earn it for doing household chores such as making their bed, tidying their room or feeding a family pet. As they get older and receive more pocket money, so their responsibilities should increase. Learn to save The accepted rule of thumb is that you should save 10% of what you earn. You can encourage younger children to put away some of their pocket money in a piggy bank each week. As they get older, open a bank account and suggest they try save some pocket money and also any additional income they may get, such as birthday money or income from part-time-jobs. Teach them money management Teach children to manage their money from the outset. If they want a toy, gadget or fashion accessory explain how they will need to save for it, possibly sacrificing other treats. Help them keep a record of earnings and expenditure in a book or on a spreadsheet. When you pay pocket money look at the previous month and explain what they did well or how they might better have spent or saved their money. If they do want to buy a big-ticket item such as a bicycle or surfboard and you lend them the money, getting them to pay it back in instalments over a given period will teach them how to manage debt. Let them learn lessons Suggest or advise, but you shouldn’t dictate how children should spend their money. Don’t be disappointed when they make mistakes. The biggest lesson they’ll learn is when they splurge on something and later realise that it was a waste of money. When they do, don’t bail them out. Let them make their own plan to supplement their income by doing more chores or getting a part-time job. Teaching children about money and how to manage it are valuable life-lessons that they will be able to keep applying long after they’ve left home and have families of their own.

April 5, 2017
Parenting Hub

Children with Disabilities in Dire Straights

Over 597 000 South African children with disabilities did not attend school in 2015, almost double the 280 000 estimated in 2001. This is just one of the shocking findings in a report prepared by a range of high level advocacy groups in the South African inclusive education and disability rights arena. Known as the Right to Education for Children with Disabilities Alliance, they have provided an alternative report to the UN Committee on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities. This was done in response to South Africa’s Baseline Country Report of March 2013. Some of the key issues discussed in the December 2016 report, just released, are: Misspending of more than USD125 million allocated by the Treasury for the expansion of inclusive education; Children remaining on waiting lists for special schools for up to five years; The lack of provision for learners with disabilities before and beyond the ages of 7 and 18 years. There is particular concern about the upper age limits in primary schools, as some learners as old as 17 or 18 remain in primary schools. The state’s failure to assist learners by providing devices or additional classroom support.  Most parents must carry this burden. As many cannot afford to do so, their children do not go to school; The lack of legislative protection for learners at special schools and hostels.  There is a high incidence of abuse. Protective measures in the Children’s Act do not apply to special schools as they are not categorised as ‘child and youth centres’; The Curriculum Assessment Policy Statements (CAPS) curriculum. This curriculum was introduced in 2012, yet by 2015, 17 out of 22 special schools for visually-impaired learners reported not having received a single textbook, workbook or teacher’s guide for the CAPS curriculum in braille. Only 150 of the more than 600 CAPS textbooks had been adapted into braille. The lack of professional qualifications specifically for teaching children with intellectual and visual impairment, autism, or severe and complex support needs; and The poor data collection and analysis that is leading to inadequate monitoring and reporting of this sector. “We are extremely concerned by the ways in which the South African schooling system compromises the rights and dignity of children with disabilities,” said Robyn Beere, Director of Inclusive Education South Africa. “For example, private space is seldom allocated to personal care needs and buildings are inaccessible to children using wheelchairs, who then have to crawl or be carried. The discriminatory attitudes and practices that prevail in many schools ‒ if children are fortunate enough to have access in the first place ‒ have not been addressed.” The South African Constitution guarantees the right to basic education. More specifically, section 29(1) (a) states that the right to education is unqualified, not subject to the availability of resources, and therefore must be directly and immediately implemented. In its five-year strategic plan (2015/16-2019/20), the Department of Basic Education (DBE) committed to strengthen inclusive education. However, says Silomo Khumalo, Researcher at SECTION27, it has failed to translate this into meaningful action plans, targets or budgets. “Provisions related to inclusive education are scattered across a few pieces of legislation. The existing framework does not place clear obligations on the state to ensure that children with disabilities can access quality education within the general education system.” Comprehensive, transparent and equitable inclusive education budgets are obviously a necessary component of this. “Should the state defend its failure to act on the grounds of inadequate resources, South African courts require a rational explanation of why the government lacks resources, given the immediacy of the right. This was outlined in the Committee on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities’ comment on the Right to Inclusive Education in September last year.” The report makes numerous recommendations to improve conditions for children with disabilities. These span admissions policies and practices, to suitable transport for children. The report can be viewed online at www.included.org.za.

April 3, 2017
Baby Jakes Mom

Introducing Proteins To Your Baby

I am continually amazed at how parenting manages to derail and confuzzle us mammas. The second we think we have something aced, the next phase swoops in and sweeps us off of our feet. Just as we’ve got the sleeping down to a tee, something like Sleep Regression or Teething Trauma hits. Just as #babyjake was eating like a champion, he decided to only consume finger foods in the shape of miniature balls. And just like that, it’s back to the drawing board, and the next bout of research begins. So for all the mamma bears who’re now facing the Introduction of Proteins, here’s a quick guide to getting started. The good news is that there really isn’t much of a science to getting started on proteins. Getting Started: A month after starting solids at 5 months, I introduced #babyjake to proteins (he was now 6 months at the time). We had worked our way through most veggies and so it was time to add protein to the menu. Remember, there is no set timeline as to when you need to start solids (pick a time between 4 and 6 months based on your baby), and the same applies to proteins. Once your baby is eating well  loving their mashed butternut and has gotten the hang of swallowing & digesting food, you can start introducing proteins (my guesstimate would be plus/minus a month or so after starting solids for the first time). In the beginning, just start with one protein a day, preferably at lunch time (remember you always want to introduce new foods earlier in the day rather than later, so that if your little one gets crampy, you wont be up all night). Pick one or 2 of your baby’s favourite veggies so far. If your little one is loving their butternut, then stick to that. Just make sure it’s something they already enjoy. I started off with a little bit of freshly steamed, flaked hake. That’s what my mom did with me back in the day. And for once, I didn’t turn things into a scientific research project – hake it was! It’s also incredibly easy to cook from frozen. It flakes easily (no need to puree – you can just mash it with a fork). How I prepared the hake: Buy a box of pure white, frozen hake medallions. Deboned. Deskinned. And obviously not crumbed. No need for fresh fish. Take out just one fillet (this way, if your baby doesn’t like it, you haven’t wasted anything). And steam or poach it from frozen (no need to defrost). If you don’t have a steamer, just boil the piece of fish in some water on the stove. It cooks pretty quickly. Less than 10 – 15 minutes. Ensure that its firm and white throughout. Cut the cooked fillet in half. Mash with a fork (you don’t need to puree it, it flakes beautifully). Watch out for any bones. Store the other half in the fridge, for the following day. Mix with your veggie of choice (I used butternut the first few times). Feed to baby. If no reaction, then attempt it again the following day. What next? After 2 or 3 days of successful fish feeding, you can now work your way through the following list, in no particular order, trying a new protein every couple of days. You could even try a new protein once a week. Or skip a day here of there. You really don’t need to rush things but you also don’t need to be scared to try all sorts of things. Just remember the basic common sense guidelines: Don’t try more than one new food at a time (otherwise it will be hard to pinpoint which food caused the problem) Try new foods around lunchtime, not for dinner. Otherwise you may be up with a screaming baby all night. While it isn’t necessary to wait 2/3 days before introducing new fruits and veggies to your baby, you may want to take things a bit slower when it comes to proteins. So err on the side of caution, and try one new food at a time, for 2 – 3 days at a time. Obviously if there is a family allergy to dairy, eggs or nuts – don’t try these foods on your baby without consulting your Paed. Write it all down!, so that you can keep track of how many meals per week contained red meat, fish, legumes etc. By 8 months, Jake was eating all types of protein as per the list below. So around 7 or 8 months, you can get started with all the foods on this list! Just follow the guidelines above (and consult with your Paed for further guidance). While various other proteins abound, I like to keep things simple and stick to this practical list. I have compiled this list based on foods that are baby-friendly, fuss-free and practical to cook / prepare / freeze (while still covering the full nutritional range of proteins). By 7 and a half / 8 months, #babyjake was enjoying all of these foods. Fish Hake (Frozen fillets) Salmon (Frozen fillets or tinned) Sardines or Tuna (tinned) but rather opt for sardines How to prepare: I use frozen pure hake or salmon medallions from Woolies. I cook a box at a time. Steam or boil. Then flake / mash with a fork and fill into ice cube trays. Sometimes some of the fatty fish oil rises to the top of the pot, and I scoop that back into the ice cube trays. Salmon is exorbitant though, so use sardines instead to ensure your baby gets all the Fatty Omegas needed. Meat & Poultry Lamb Beef Chicken How to prepare: Lamb is the most digestible meat for babies. It is really gentle on tiny tummies. Buy a pack of stewing lamb (any cut will do but opt for meaty pieces). In a casserole dish, throw in a collection of assorted veggies that you know your baby is safe with – carrots, butternut, sweet potato etc. Cover with

March 31, 2017
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