What is a “Date Night”?
Date Nights can also be “Date Days,” but the key idea is that the couple is spending time as a couple and not as unstructured “family time.”
Date Night builds stronger marriages in five ways:
(1) Communication.
Date Night helps with communication. Of course, this is an essential element of an intimate relationship. But communication also involves the willingness to remove distractions such as children and career demands deliberately.
Date Nights also offers couples the opportunity to discuss topics of mutual importance. They can self-define and dialogue about mutual aspirations.
Communication is like a muscle. Sometimes you plan your communication workouts. “stress-reducing” conversation can help couples to stay current with what is moving through their intimate partner’s life.
(2) Novelty.
Couples typically experience habituation, a “settling in” quality where both are more likely to take each other for granted.
The symbiotic “we are a couple” sensibility can settle into an ordinary domestic routine. But new research indicates that a deficit in fun and novelty is toxic. A balance of activities is attractive to both, which emphasises novel and different experiences can help increase intimacy.
(3) Let’s Do It.
Romantic love is that erotic spark, excitement, and an overwhelming sense of attraction to your significant other. But with time, the emotional and physical expression of erotic love tends to fade in many couples.
Because Date Night allows a couple to focus on their connection completely, the erotic spark may be restored by the intentional pursuit of romance, novelty, and more in-depth communication. Date Nights may not only rekindle the romance, but regular Date Nights can also help sustain the fires of love over the long haul.
(4) De-Stress.
Couples that have regular Date Nights maintain a connection through intimate conversation and emotional support. They also lower the stress on their brains, as well as their partners. Fortunately, nature has endowed us with high resiliency in this area.
(5) Abiding Relationship Commitment.
When you experience your partner’s commitment, your sense of being firmly attached will provide you with a stable, deeply satisfying relationship.
Partners who cherish and prize each other, steer clear of other romantic opportunities, and nurture a powerful sense of “we-ness” or togetherness are significantly happier than less-committed, “iffy” couples. Commitment is scary. But commitment satisfies deeply.
Oh no!!!! What about the kids???
You want to go on a date. But what about the kids? But I bet you know other couples that would also like to go out on a date.
Tell your friends that you’ll watch their kids while they go out if they will do the same for you on your date.
You can swap babysitting services, enjoy your date, and get your babysitter free! It doesn’t get any cheaper than free!
If you live near your family, ask them if they could watch your kids this weekend while the two of you try out new date night experiences.
If you don’t live close to your parents, consider asking them to babysit for a night when they visit. While you want to spend time with them, they also want to see their grandkids. Come to think of it, Grandma and Grandpa might have their own version of Date Night, enjoying their grandchildren together.
Daniel Dashnaw Revised 5/13/19
Couples Need to Feel Connected
As parents carry the stress and burden of providing for a family, sleep needs are not always met, and as kids demand all the attention, feelings of connectedness can quickly become lost. As a result, parents feel run down, and their identity as a couple becomes lost in their roles as parents. Being a mom or dad is certainly an identity to be proud of, but couples need to be able to find ways to connect again outside of their parental duties.
A date night is a perfect opportunity to spend time together engaging in hobbies or volunteer opportunities that you both once found to be of common interest. Engaging in shared interests and having an opportunity to talk about things that draw you closer to each other are undoubtedly essential priorities to make in your marriage.
Kids Need to See a Healthy Relationship
While a date night is meant to be about your marriage, it is good for the kids. It is healthy for them to learn it’s OK to be separated from you, but it is beneficial as they grow up to witness a healthy relationship. Think about how you want your son and daughter treated in their marriage. There is a significant advantage to children learning the importance of a loving marriage.
Excuses Need to Go Away
Granted, childcare expenses can quickly become budget killers, especially when you calculate in multiple kids. However, plan for these expenses as part of your monthly budget (perhaps sacrificing less important expenditures to add these). Then, you won’t have the excuse of not being able to afford a date night. Also, if all your date night budget goes into the child care costs, you can get creative with cheaper dates such as picnics, walks through a park, or budget movies.
Published Feb 14, 2018 Letise Dennis
Date night jar tips and ideas!!!!
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