Pregnancy - Parenting Hub

leading expert advice

The Best Kept Secret

Having a baby is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but it can sometimes feel traumatic, depressing and frightening. A woman I know who has 3 grown up children and a grandchild on the way said to me, “everyone is so excited and happy when a 1st pregnancy is announced, but I just want to say, ‘oh shame, you poor thing…you have no idea what you’re in for…but of course I don’t say that…I just say, ‘congratulations and pretend to be delighted as well”. Lots of people will own up to the ‘best kept secret’ that babies are sometimes hard and parenthood – particularly motherhood can be grueling – at the same time, of course, as being the best thing in the world. SOME FACTS Women are more likely to become depressed in the first year after having a baby (and the last trimester in pregnancy) than any other time in their lives. 10-15% of mothers develop postnatal depression (pnd), and in developing countries and poverty stricken areas, the figures are much higher. Research has shown that 1/3 of Khayelitsha moms suffer from pnd. Suicide is the leading cause of maternal death in developed countries. The new father can also get depressed. Dads often feel left out and unwanted when babies come along. As a new mom, it’s so hard to feel frustrated, disappointed, confused, depressed and anxious when you’re expected to be blissfully happy. The media contributes to this problem by perpetuating a lie about motherhood and babies by publishing only pictures of young, beautiful, skinny, model mothers, and bouncy, smiley, contented babies. There are relatively few pictures in baby and parenting magazines of the graveyard shift, mothers looking and feeling like hell, trying to soothe an unhappy baby, trying to breastfeed a screaming baby who can’t seem to latch, etc. In the context of this fairy tale, idealized image of how motherhood and babies are supposed to be, the reality can feel like a huge let down. It can even feel like a betrayal. The Cape Town couple, Lisa Lazarus and Greg Fried co-wrote The book of Jacob which, unlike most other books about babies, is an honest, frank description of the hell they experienced during the first year of their son’s life. Although loads of people have loved this book and find it a huge relief that others too struggle with parenthood, Lisa and Greg have received hate mail from outraged readers who couldn’t bear the fact that these brave parents owned up to how hard it can be having a baby. In writing this book, they shattered the image of perfect, idealized babies and parents. The truth is that real babies can disappoint their parents sometimes …especially sick babies, colicky or refluxy babies, unplanned babies, high need babies who cry a lot and are irritable and difficult to soothe, babies who don’t feed well, and babies who are abnormal or handicapped in some way. It’s very disappointing when you realize that your baby can’t meet your own unmet needs and he won’t be everything you want him to be. In addition to this, motherhood goes hand in hand with a substantial number of significant losses, such as: your sense of self and aspects of your identity your own life takes a back seat and the level of self-sacrifice is very high your freedom and personal space and time your status and credibility (motherhood is undervalued) your relationship with your spouse becomes altered your sexuality and physical appearance…there’s no time or energy to make yourself look beautiful and most moms would rather sleep than have sex your career and financial freedom independence and marital equality energy levels are compromised sleep deprivation takes a terrible toll on your mental state your mental health can become compromised WHAT CAN HELP? The loving support of a spouse is really important! Part of the dad’s role in the beginning is to look after the new mother. Support from friends and family is also protective, as long as it is the kind of support that empowers rather than controls. Often your own mother can be the most powerful factor that either strengthens or undermines your ability to cope as a new mom. Connecting with other people, especially other new moms, is extremely important. New mothers are often socially isolated, and being alone with an unhappy baby is not easy. If you find yourself struggling as a new parent or if you need emotional support or guidance with your baby, contact one of our Babies in Mind practitioners in your area, either to join one of our workshops, attend one of our talks, or for individual consultations. All our practitioners are mental health professionals with specialized training and expertise. Find us at www.babiesinmind.co.za or on Facebook or contact Jenny Perkel 021 4619153 or [email protected]

March 23, 2017

The ultimate baby shower gift list: What a new mom really wants and needs.

Baby showers come around every now and then for most ladies, until you reach a certain age, then they seem to become a monthly occurrence. Gift opening most often seems to be the highlight of the day with many oohh’s and aahh’s as the tiny outfits and other gifts are put on display. BUT what does mom really want for her expectant baby and more importantly, what are those items she really needs? The ones she is going to use regularly and appreciate? I had my first baby shower in 2014 and decided on doing a registry with my mom and two sisters. Besides it being a ton of fun, it was a complete guess of what I would need for my little boy. I already had the big stuff, the cot, compactum, car seat and pram. Everything else seemed confusing. Now that I am getting ready for baby number 2. It seemed like the perfect time to put together my list for my little girl. All those things I have found to love. Hopefully this helps you too. Baby shower gifts for mom Pillows! Don’t underestimate the power of a good pillow or two. I love the Frankie Beans Maternity pillow It is great to use under your bump, between the legs, to support the back or even in the car. The long cuddling pillow as I like to call it.Will become almost part of you at sleep time. I like to wedge it between my legs and under my tummy. Giving me some awesome support and some well-deserved sleep. One of the best possible gifts an expectant mom could get is a massage. No jokes! It is one of the only things that can make you feel better when carrying all the extra weight. (Well that and sitting in a pool). The benefits for circulation are great and it can also relieve back and joint pain. Anxiety during pregnancy can be over whelming and regular massage can assist with managing your anxiety and even depression by regulating your hormones. When anxiety during pregnancy occurs, and is not treated it can increase your chances of having post-partum depression when baby is born. Make sure when choosing were to go for your massages that you pick someone that is qualified in pregnancy massage so they can support you and look out for indications such as possible blood clots and varicose veins. Remember to always check with your Dr before receiving a massage if you struggle from hypertension, pre-eclampsia, severe swelling or are considered a high-risk pregnancy. Tips: Don’t lie on one of those beds with the holes cut out for the tummy. They can cause uterine ligaments to stretch. Make sure you lie on your side with support for your tummy and between your legs. The therapist should always use safe oils for pregnancy. My favourite spot for preggy massage is Mommy wellness. They are focused on treating pregnant moms and even moms with tots. Do yourself a favour and check them out. Pregnancy is also an important time to review your skin and hair care products. It is not often that we look at the ingredients that are found in our products but during pregnancy, we should really stick to as natural as possible. Avoid retinyl palmitate, retinaldehyde, adapalene, tretinoin, tazarotene and isotretinoin as they may cause birth defects. Hydroquinone is used to lighten the skin but this these treatments should be put on hold until baby is born. Formaldehyde is found in some hair products and nail polishes. Try use Formaldehyde-free products whenever possible. Lilian Terry offers natural alternative to the harsh and sometimes damaging chemicals in everyday products. They use a combination of homeopathy and aromatherapy. A lovely add on for the preggy mom is their Lillian Terry Stretch mark oil and the Lillian Terry Vascu Flow for water retention Milk screen is definitely a must for your nappy bag too. They are fabulous, easy to use test strips that test for alcohol in Breast Milk. Giving you the confidence to know when you are able to feed your baby after having a glass of wine. Baby Shower gifts for your little one ShooShoos are the best. They come in a variety of sizes and colours are are super easy to slip on. They are available from newborn to 24 months. Great skincare is vital for baby from day one. Being a wellness coach and having over 15 years’ experience in Health and wellness and specifically skincare this is something I am very passionate about. I would like all parents to be understand what is inside of their products but also know what they are putting on baby’s skin. Email [email protected] for a free copy of my Ebook: The natural way, a guide to skincare and natural therapies for babies and children. Pure Beginnings tick all my boxes for kid’s skincare. I love the toothpaste, body wash and bath bubbles. I have also recently tried out the pro-biotic lotion on my little boy. Even with his eczema it has worked wonders. Sleep sacks were always necessary for my little boy in winter. He hated blankets from day 1 and kicked them off every night. The sleep sack kept him warm and cosy. I have one for each stage of growth and really recommend them for kiddies that kick their blankets off. I didn’t actually buy any and was lucky enough to be given all of mine but Moo Moo has some options that are pretty reasonably priced Baby Shower gifts for the breastfeeding mom Breastfeeding your new baby can be such an amazing, fulfilling experience. It can also be exhausting and at times tough. Another support pillow, can really help you keep your posture and avoid back ache. I used this one that was very similar to this one and really loved it. Prepping the breasts for baby is another controversial topic. There are loads of old wife tales out there, that sound like pure pain.

February 10, 2017

Weight, Fertility and Pregnancy

Getting your body ready for baby-making isn’t only about tossing your birth control and charting your ovulation. It’s also about laying the nutritional foundation for healthy baby building. Begin your eating-well campaign even before you conceive (technically these are your first weeks of pregnancy) and you’ll be doing yourself (and your soon-to-be embryo) a favour. Begin making healthy changes 3 months to a year before you conceive. Evidence shows that healthy nutrition and fertility is linked in both men and women. The ultimate goal is a healthy pregnancy, and this depends upon good quality eggs and sperm. There is increasing evidence to show that diet and lifestyle can directly impact on your fertility health not only for conception but also for your baby’s development. When it comes to getting pregnant, the old adage “you are what you eat” rings true. What you eat affects everything from your blood to your cells to your hormones. WEIGHT AND FERTILITY If you’re trying to get pregnant, or intend to start trying, know that weight can affect your chances of conceiving and having a healthy baby. Twelve percent of all infertility cases are a result of a woman either weighing too little or too much. Women who are overweight or obese have less chance of getting pregnant overall. They are also more likely than women of healthy weight to take more than a year to get pregnant. Research has shown that being underweight or being overweight and obese can lead to fertility problems by creating hormonal disturbances. The main ingredient in the body weight and fertility mix is oestrogen (a sex hormone produced in fat cells). A woman with too little body fat can’t produce enough oestrogen and her reproductive cycle begins to shut down. Often causes irregular menstrual cycles and may cause ovulation to stop altogether. If a woman has too much body fat, the body produces too much oestrogen and may also lead to irregular menstrual cycles and ovulation. However, even obese women with normal ovulation cycles have lower pregnancy rates than normal weight women, so ovulation isn’t the only issue. Research indicated that weight also impacts on the success of donor egg cycles. There is good scientific evidence that obesity lowers the success rates of in vitro fertilisation (IVF). Studies have further shown lower pregnancy rates and higher miscarriage rates in obese women. How do I know if I am a good weight for pregnancy? One of the easiest ways to determine if you are underweight or overweight is to calculate your body mass index (BMI). A BMI between 19 and 24 is considered normal; less than 18.5 is considered underweight. A BMI between 25 and 29 is considered overweight and greater than 30 places you in the category of obese. Reporting in the journal Human Reproduction, researchers documented a 4% decrease in conception odds for every point in BMI above 30. For women whose BMI was higher than 35, there was up to a 43% overall decrease in the ability to conceive. Your BMI alone is not the only thing to watch, however. Your body fat percentage and waist circumference is also important. Bottom line: you need a certain amount of fat to conceive since body fat produce oestrogen. Waist circumference is an indication of visceral fat (excess of body fat in the abdomen). A waist circumference >88cm in a women and >102cm in a man is associated with reduced fertility, an increased risk for insulin resistance (associated with PCOS in women) and other chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure. Are there fertility problems in men with obesity? Obesity in men may be associated with changes in testosterone levels and other hormones important for reproduction. Low sperm counts and low sperm motility (movement) have been found more often in overweight and obese men than in normal-weight men. How much weight should one lose? Even a small 3-5% weight loss can reduce insulin resistance by 40-60% and improve fertility. How quickly will I lose or gain weight? Healthy weight gain or loss is regarded as 500g to 1kg per week. It is therefore gradual and one can expect that six months will be required to restore normal reproductive function and pregnancy. IMPORTANT: Avoid going on fad diets, which can deplete your body of the nutrients it needs for pregnancy and find a weight-loss plan that works for you by talking to a registered dietitian. EXCESS WEIGHT AND PREGNANCY If a woman is obese when falling pregnant, it increases the risk of pregnancy complications and health problems for the baby. Obese women are at an increased risk for developing pregnancy-induced (gestational) diabetes and high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia). The risk of pre-eclampsia doubles in overweight women and triples in obese women. Overweight women have twice the risk of gestational (pregnancy-related) diabetes and obese women eight times the risk, compared with women of healthy weight. A woman who is obese is more than twice as likely to have a miscarriage as a woman of healthy weight. Sadly, there is twice the risk that her baby will not survive. Infants born to obese women are more likely to be large for their age and therefore have a higher chance of delivering by caesarean section. Afterwards the baby may need neonatal intensive care or have a congenital abnormality. Recovery following birth is also more problematic and there is the increased risk of poor wound healing and possible infections. WHAT TO DO? Eating a healthy and balanced diet is crucial when preparing to conceive or you are already pregnant. A balanced diet is one that is rich in good quality protein, low in Glycaemic Index (GI), low in sugar, salt, caffeine and industrially created trans-fats (trans-fatty acids or partially hydrogenated oil). Make clever Protein choices – choose lean protein. Rethink refined carbs and sugar – choose low glycaemic index (GI) carbohydrates and also limit your total daily carbohydrate intake based on your specific metabolic rate. This is especially important if you

April 4, 2016

What NOT to Buy Or Add To Your Baby Registry

I have shopped for two failed adoptions and my baby so you could say I have had some experience with shopping for a baby. Excitement can quickly lead to buyer’s remorse and your house full of crap. Mothers are a marketing executive dreams. They know just how to make you feel like your child will miss out without their product. I am also pretty sure no new mum will listen to any of this… A HUGE pram Prams are like cars. We want the coolest looking one that looks like a little baby hotel for our precious. Now baby is here and you realise that lovely pram with all the extras weighs as much as a smart car and you need to be a Sumo wrestler to put the pram in your boot. That’s if it even fits. What to get instead: There are some great lightweight pushchairs that are suitable from birth reclines to almost flat. If you really must just get the all frills baby hotel buy it second hand . Baby bath They will outgrow this so fast that it’s not worth the bother and just another thing you need to list on Gumtree or fill up the space where your car is supposed to be. What to get instead: Purchase an inexpensive bath support or get into the bath with the baby providing additional bonding time with your newborn. Nappy bin This special bin that deals with stinky nappies is a coveted item for most expectant mothers. I was no exception. I was ready to sign a community property contact with my bad boy. I am convinced this is a clever marketing tool to suck you into buying ridiculously expensive cartridge refills. Just like drug dealers Marketers Know the real money is in the come-back. What to get instead: Scented nappy packets and a simple lidded nappy bucket will do the trick. If you must have one, You can have mine. Changing table You will end up changing your baby on the bed and everywhere else with a changing mat within the first three months. Been there done that got the t-shirt! Baby shoes Kennedy had 15 pairs of adorable shoes. Some were designer shoes and she couldn’t even walk yet. Do you think Kennedy gave a monkeys that they cost more than any shoes I have ever owned… nope. She fussed so much every time I put them on. What to get instead: Socks are enough. She is 14 months and only recently stopped kicking off her shoes. Lots of newborn sized clothes At this point I am starting to sound like a buzz kill. This is all the fun about being pregnant. The ooh-ing and aah-ing at those teeny little money wasters. Marketing execs know how much we want a mini-me. Why do you think a newborn can now wear skinny jeans and leather jackets? What to get instead: Wait for the gifts and then wait till your baby can walk before making them tiny trendsetters. Baby growers is all they need until then. Bottle warmer Ugh. Just run the bottles under hot water already! What to get instead: nothing. A cot bumper Something about having a baby makes us mothers have a penchant for matching items… that is the lure. A tiny duvet with the tiny pillow just doesn’t seem enough of a set. I still can’t understand why these are actually still being sold. The second you hear about SIDS (and for every paranoid second thereafter), it’s game over for these little death traps. I have yet to find a parenting or medical site that has anything good to say about bumpers. Just another thing for you to wash. What to get instead: nothing. Tons of toys for a tiny baby Newborns don’t need them and will spend most of their time sleeping, feeding and gazing at you! If you really do need stuffed animals you can come to my house and collect these dust collectors. What to get instead: After three months I would get a few noisemakers and then add once they crawling and can actually interact with your surroundings. Newborn-sized feeding bottles Baby feeding bottles in a smaller size designed for newborns become useless in very little time. What to get instead: Normal size bottles 260ml and buy a few slow release teats if you need to. Scaled-down Baby Wardrobe Let’s just be honest here…they will not be willing to or able to hang their own clothing until they can reach a normal sized one anyway. What to get instead: Normal-sized bedroom furniture and add a small step stool for higher shelves once they are older. Baby Cartoon curtains and wallpaper Just don’t it! I promise your baby will not complain that their nursery was not cute enough. If you can’t imagine the design on the wall of a six-year-olds bedroom, It’s a waste! What to get instead: An age-neutral design for anything expensive is a good idea and add ‘baby appeal’ with removable pictures and accessories.

November 3, 2015

HYPERTENSION AND YOUR PREGNANCY

Embarking on the journey of motherhood should be a pleasurable and memorable experience. For many women though, pregnancy can be overshadowed by hypertension, also known as high blood pressure. Uncontrolled high blood pressure prior to pregnancy or high blood pressure developed during pregnancy poses a risk to both mother and unborn baby. I n this article we would like to make all future and expectant moms aware of these dangers and provide you with lifesaving tips on how to prevent high blood pressure from casting a shadow over this momentous time. High blood pressure can affect an expectant mother in two ways: She might have existing high blood pressure prior to becoming pregnant, or …. High blood pressure may develop in the second half of pregnancy. When high blood pressure is accompanied by protein in the urine, and swollen ankles, fingers and face; it is particularly serious and is called pre-eclampsia. F or both types of high blood pressure in pregnancy, if it is not detected and then controlled, it can cause low birth weight or require early delivery of the baby. High blood pressure and especially pre-eclampsia can furthermore be very harmful to the mother as well, by causing seizures, damaging the kidneys, liver and brain and increasing the risk of stroke. The good news is that early detection and control of high blood pressure and close monitoring of the mom and baby can ensure a safe and happy pregnancy. There are certain factors that can put one at an increased risk of high blood pressure during pregnancy. Factors include high blood pressure during a previous pregnancy, obesity, being under the age of 20 years and over the age of 40 years, having diabetes and other chronic illnesses, and being pregnant with more than one baby. Women with any of these factors should be especially vigilant. Severe headaches and visual disturbances are warning signs that require an urgent visit to your doctor or clinic. How can women with existing high blood pressure prevent problems during pregnancy? Firstly, it is important to control your blood pressure, and speak to your doctor or nurse when thinking about falling pregnant. Discuss with your doctor how high blood pressure might affect you or your baby and how to adapt or change any current blood pressure medication. Continue to monitor blood pressure regularly throughout your pregnancy as advised by your doctor or clinic. Ensure that you are eating healthily, limiting salt intake, being active and avoiding alcohol or tobacco products. In addition, taking calcium supplementation can prevent pre-eclampsia. How can women be sure not to get high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia during pregnancy? Regular visits to the doctor or clinic are important to ensure a safe pregnancy. For a healthy pregnancy one should: First and foremost ensure that you are in the best possible health before thinking of falling pregnant; including managing a healthy weight, being physically active and not smoking. Get early and regular care from a doctor. Follow all the doctor’s recommendations. Do what you can to help manage blood pressure. Eat a healthy diet including plenty of fruit and vegetable, daily dairy, and limit intake of salt and salty foods. Take a calcium supplement as advised and directed by your doctor. High blood pressure has no symptoms or warning signs, therefore checking blood pressure regularly throughout pregnancy and beyond is important to monitor the health and well-being of mom and baby. We would therefore like to encourage all women to know their numbers by visiting their nearest clinic, GP practice, nearest pharmacy or obstetrician to get their blood pressure checked.

August 10, 2015

The First Glimpse

My nerves were so high I broke out in hives, I couldn’t think straight. I was struggling to sleep until eventually substituting to crying myself to sleep. This was the last time I would feel you moving and kicking your way around in my tummy. It was the most bitter-sweet emotion. I was physically ready but my emotions were far from prepared. The day arrived, waking up, I put my make up on, brushed my teeth, just like every other day, but knowing this day was going to change my life forever, it felt so dissimilar, everything I did, every reoccurring daily routine was like doing it for the first time. I felt lost. On the way to the hospital I took notice of more than I had ever before. Almost as if I had a sense I had always been unaware of. I was overwhelmed at the idea that I was about to become a Mother, I was about the meet this little boy that I had been waiting months to meet. Our moment that I had been dreaming about was about to become a reality. The sweet little eyes I had been trying to place a picture of in my head would finally see the world. It was finally our moment. I booked myself in and as they began hooking me up to the monitors and taking blood tests, everything became surreal. They began explaining the procedures and preparing me for one of the most intense moments of my life. It was time to meet you. Finally. I was ready. Filled with mixed emotions, they wheeled me into theatre. They began with the spinal block, it worked quickly and as I was placed on the operating table, my body was ready to bring you into this world. I felt the tugging, and I heard the sounds. The sound and smell of burning skin, the doctors casually talking about their holiday with the effort to distract me, and the song playing in the background was all I could hear, I tried to remain focused. The assistant whispered in my ear asking me if I was ready, she explained they would put pressure on my stomach and the doctor would remove him from the tiny incision he had made in my lower stomach. The sound of her voice was so intense, it was as if hearing something pertaining to life and death. It made my emotions rush in fast, it went quiet. I closed my eyes and all I could hear was my heart beat. Focus Leigh. He is he almost here. Suddenly the sound of suctions and struggle became blatant, I couldn’t see what was going beyond the sheets, but I could hear you. You let out a little cry, and the doctor finally said, “Here he comes” They lifted you for a split second to give me a glimpse of your beautiful face, for what felt like hours, I reveled in the most breath-taking sight of you, your wrinkly expression and eyes so dark I could see right into your innocent soul. The sound of your boisterous cry is one of the freshest and fondest memories I have and I can still remember the sweet smell of you. The next hour felt like a life time, in recovery all I could think of was you and how I craved to have you in my grasp, to hold you, look into your eyes and whisper sweetly how much I already loved you. They placed you in my arms, and there it was, you looked at me. You looked into my soul. This love was deep. It was considered more than I could bare. Everything I thought I knew, everything I had planned, the ideas I had created in my mind and how it would feel to meet you for the first time, it had all dissipated. The knowledge I thought I had, had become worthless. I knew from that moment that this was it. This was our moment, and for a moment, in all the chaos around us, it was only you and I in that room and then, you blinked almost as if you agreed, and nothing could stop us. On this day, a life long bond was formed. I gave birth to you, even if by Caesarean Section, an operation which in no way is considered to be natural, you became my son. No matter my decision on how to bring you into this world, that made me a Mother, a privilege that fills my heart with a paramount of gratitude, daily.

June 24, 2015

Treat Headaches Safely During And After Pregnancy

Being a new mother can be an exciting time for many women. Taking care of a new child can be one of the most wonderful experiences. But this time can also be extremely stressful when headaches occur. A recent study published in the journal Headache showed there are many safe methods to treat these headaches and migraines when women are breast-feeding. A list of commonly used migraine medications was agreed upon by the 6 researchers, who treat migraine and other headaches on a regular basis. Each medication was researched by an author utilizing widely accepted data sources, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics publication “The Transfer of Drugs and Other Chemicals Into Human Milk”. Dr. Elliot Shevel, South Africa’s migraine research pioneer, said the study found there are many reliable medications for women who are worried it will affect their babies through breast milk. This comprehensive study revealed there are many commonly used migraine medications that may be compatible with breast-feeding based on expert recommendations. “Ibuprofen, diclofenac, and eletriptan are among acute medications with low levels in breast milk. They are therefore safe to use,” says Shevel. What does not work? Aspirin did, however, cause some concern. Due to an association with Reye’s syndrome; sedation or apnea is problematic with opioids. Finally, preventive medications not recommended include zonisamide, atenolol, and tizanidine. Headaches during pregnancy Most headaches seen in women are primary headache disorders (migraine, tension-type headache), complications or conditions associated with pregnancy can present with a secondary headache. Headaches are very common symptoms in idiopathic intracranial hypertension, eclampsia, and reversible cerebral vascular syndrome. Migraines may begin or worsen during pregnancy, but pregnancy tends to reduce migraine frequency and severity. Although it is desirable to avoid medications for headaches during pregnancy, treatment should be considered when headaches are severe and cause significant disability. “We always promote treating headaches and migraines without the use of drugs. This is the safest method we can employ,” says Shevel to treat these headaches and migraines when women are breast-feeding. Being aware of possible treatments for migraine and headaches during pregnancy is essential. To find out more about how migraines affect your child, call 0861 678 911 or visit www.theheadacheclinic.net

April 3, 2015

Depression And Anxiety During And After Pregnancy

Pregnancy is generally assumed to be a wonderful time in the life of a family, a time of abundance and anticipated joy. For some women however, pregnancy can be an extremely stressful time, with many women experiencing feelings of both depression and anxiety. It is well known that pregnant women need to take care of their bodies in order to foster the growth of a health baby. However, it is equally important for pregnant women to take care of their emotional well-being, as untreated depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy can have long term consequences for the whole family. This article addresses some of the important issues with regards to pregnancy and depression and anxiety, and offers some advice on how best to cope with depression and anxiety during pregnancy. Are there different forms of depression during pregnancy? Depression is a common problem amongst women, and is most common in women age 18 to 44. This is the time when many women fall pregnant and so it stands to reason that pregnancy and depression can often overlap. Depression can therefore take on several different forms during and after pregnancy. Some women will be depressed prior to falling pregnant and this will continue into their pregnancy and even after the birth of their child. Some women will only become depressed during pregnancy and this can continue once the baby is born (becoming what is classified as postnatal or postpartum depression). In fact, research has established that women who are depressed whilst they are pregnant are more likely to experience postnatal depression, making it important that women who are depressed during pregnancy seek help before their baby is born. Some women will be emotionally well during their pregnancy, but will suffer with postnatal depression after the birth of their baby. Postnatal depression does not necessarily occur immediately and can start up to eight weeks after the birth of a child. It is important to bear in mind that all forms of depression are treatable, and that there are many different forms of treatment available to pregnant women who are depressed. Depression during pregnancy can often go hand in hand with anxiety. This is not surprising, as the many changes that occur during pregnancy can be very stressful for many women. During the first trimester, many women become anxious that they will miscarry, or that something else will go wrong at this early stage of pregnancy. During the third trimester, many women can become anxious about the birth of their child, worrying about the birthing process itself as well as the enormous impact that having a baby will have on them and their relationships. Many first time mothers become anxious during pregnancy as they worry ability to take care of an infant. Research has also shown that it is common for women to become anxious before being discharged from hospital once the baby has been born. These are all normal concerns and should not be seen as abnormal or wrong. However, if these anxieties become too extreme, or they are coupled with feelings of depression, then it is important that they are addressed and treated during pregnancy, as women who are extremely anxious during pregnancy are also more likely to experience postnatal depression. Why does depression often go undiagnosed and untreated during pregnancy? During pregnancy women experience many physical changes which differ depending on the stage of pregnancy. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to feel extremely tired, especially during the first and third trimesters. It is also very normal for pregnant women to have a change in appetite, ranging for example from nausea and lack of appetite in the first trimester, to increased appetite in the second and third trimesters. In addition, many women who are pregnant experience changes in libido. These are all normal aspects of pregnancy and are certainly no cause for concern. However, these changes are also hallmarks of depression. For this reason, depression can often go undiagnosed during pregnancy as both women themselves, and doctors, do not recognise these physical changes as depression. Unfortunately, up depression in pregnant women is misdiagnosed up to 50% of the time. This does not mean that all pregnant women should become overly concerned with becoming depressed or worry that the physical changes that they experience during pregnancy could be depression. Whilst up to 70% of women will experience some feelings of depression during pregnancy, it is estimated that only between 5 and 10% of women will experience clinical depression during pregnancy. In addition, approximately 13% of women who give birth will experience some degree of postnatal depression. This means that most pregnant women will not encounter problems with depression at any stage of their pregnancy. However, it is important for the small proportion of women who become depressed during pregnancy to seek help. Importantly, pregnancy is generally a time when women have regular contact with health care providers, meaning that there are numerous opportunities to access treatment for depression and anxiety during pregnancy. How will I know if I am depressed? Two important signs of depression are feeling down, depressed or hopeless and feeling little interest or pleasure in things that were previously enjoyable. We can’t all be happy all of the time, but if these feelings persist for most of the day over a period of about two weeks, then it is likely that your doctor would need to consider the possibility that you are clinically depressed. Many pregnant women feel too ashamed or embarrassed to mention these feelings to their doctors or to their friends or family. Women often feel an enormous amount of pressure to maintain a ‘happy face’ as they believe that pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, not sadness. However, it is extremely important for depression during pregnancy to be treated as there may be long term effects of depression on the baby as well as on the relationship between the mother and the baby. Importantly, depression during pregnancy is also

February 13, 2015

Childbirth Education Can Save Lives

Knowledge is the key to a safe, successful pregnancy, birth and parenting experience. At the very least childbirth education will improve your birth experience, and at best it can save your life. Of the million plus women who become pregnant in South Africa each year, those who receive antenatal care and quality childbirth education are the most likely to experience a healthy pregnancy and birth. Ideally all pregnant parents would attend childbirth education classes, which cover all aspects of pregnancy and birth as well as how to care for the newborn baby. However only about 5% of expectant parents do. There are some good online courses available. However, attending classes – which are usually held in the evenings or over a weekend – are more recommended; the interaction with the childbirth educator and other pregnant couples in the class is invaluable. Often lifelong friendships are formed. Typically childbirth education classes will cover: Pregnancy – physical and emotional changes Birth options Labour – breathing, water, massage, relaxation, visualisation Pain relief options Birth plan Breastfeeding Care of the new born baby Postnatal depression To help find the right childbirth educator for you and your partner ask the following: What are her qualifications? Ideally your childbirth educator is a qualified midwife and has completed a post-graduate diploma in Childbirth Education. Is she a member of the Childbirth Educator Professional Forum? Is she a mother? Which birthing methods are covered in the course and which are emphasised? What are her ideals of labour and do they match yours? Can partners attend? Ideally dad will be involved in some or all of the classes too! Are practical techniques taught e.g. breathing and positions for labour, massage, relaxation and visualisation? There is a list of qualified childbirth educators in the Expectant Mothers Guide or online on www.expectantmothersguide.co.za.

February 11, 2015

The “REAL” Before Baby Checklist

I strongly believe that nothing changes your views on parenting, quite like being a parent… I know every mom is different, but if it was up to me, I would have been given this checklist before “signing up” Are you okay with bodily fluids all over you, your house and even your car? On day two while Aidan was in NICU and the nurse was changing him is when I first experienced this. The moment she took the nappy off he somehow managed to get pooh ALL over, it even went through a cutout in his plastic crib and left a number one shaped pooh stain on the wall. At home he suffered from reflux and my dainty little spit up cloths were replaced with, cloth towels, blankets, buckets… Nothing ever stayed in him! Are you able to operate on two hours’ worth of sleep? Even when Aidan slept I was so paranoid I would just stare at him. So my nights were spent either being woken up by him crying or being woken up by him not crying. Are you fine with putting your heels into hibernation? I’m only now dusting of my stilettos (my son is 20 months old) because regardless of what the models/celebs and fashion blogging moms say, running on heels is MUCH easier than “mumming” on heels. Pushing a stroller, with a child on your hip (because he suddenly hates the stroller) while tittering on sky scraper heels is not for the faint hearted. If you are planning on breast feeding are you aware that at some point you will be wearing a thick jacket while the sun beats down on you, trying to act natural, because you are too embarrassed to strip down and reveal your milk stained blouse. I never understood just how important, breast pads are. They REALLY are! Are you okay with cold (at best lukewarm) food When they are tiny they seem to use the act of you sitting down to eat as their queue to cry to be picked up. It’s amazing really, and I for one don’t think you have lived until you have breastfed while eating a pie, like a boss. When they get older they want to taste your food or in the case of my picky eater just touch it and act repulsed. When they reach toddler stage you end up eating with one hand and mopping up spills with the other…very classy. Oh and when you go out to eat you can spot the mom’s by their eating style…The faster the ” act of shovelling of food into your mouth” the younger your kid…I remember having to tell myself to bite, chew, swallow, repeat. Are you aware that stepping on toys is a prerequisite? Whether it’s stepping on a loud squeaky toy the moment you finally get them to sleep or something sharp and hard like a Lego that makes you dance around in pain while trying not to use any “bad words” stepping on toys WILL HAPPEN. Unless you have a team of nannies or have the reflexes of cat woman that is. Are you ready to say goodbye to your home? Toys and baby stuff will overtake your house. Despite your best intentions you will not have a baby living with you, you will be living with a baby…don’t say I didn’t warn you. Are you okay with being judged about every little thing? Everyone has an opinion! Don’t hold him like that, don’t feed him like that, don’t do this, don’t do that, sleep with him close, but not that close, actually closer, nooooooo that’s too close. Now only eat fruit farmed by monks by the light of the moon to ensure he gets best in your milk for the next 3 years, you simply must feed for that long, any shorter or longer and we will call child protection services. Also I hope his pacifier is organic, they really shouldn’t have pacifiers though, but the one you don’t give him should still be organic. Would you like to be physically unable to walk into a shop to by something for yourself? You can buy stuff for yourself, just not without, a little something, just something small, tiny really for the baby. This one trumps all, it carries ten points Are you okay with waking up every day feeling so blessed you could burst. Are you fine with being loved and adored for just being you and with loving and adoring someone who you are responsible for. Also are you keen to watch someone grow and learn and to experience a world of firsts? I for one think I would be right where I am now with or without the questions…

February 10, 2015

Bonding And Not Bonding With Your Newborn… Why It Will Be Okay

When I was pregnant with Mikayla Rose, I often compared it to hell (I know, I am a great mom). I had a terrible experience… It started with severe nausea and vomiting (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) that lasted all day and all night for the entire duration of my pregnancy and it only got worse when my gynecologist at the time convinced me that there was no way that I would carry full term and that I would most probably suffer a miscarriage. I also apparently had very little amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. Subconsciously this resulted in me ‘disconnecting’ myself from my pregnancy and baby to some extent. It was stressful and I was depressed – I cried every single time we left the gynecologist’s office. This fear of miscarriage carried on up until about six months – waiting for the supposedly inevitable the whole time. My husband and I never shared this with anyone, it was confusing and private – and we still had hope. We eventually decided to make an appointment at the Fetal Assessment Center in Cape Town to get a second professional opinion – the result? Baby is perfectly fine and normal, a little bit on the small side, but absolutely nothing to be alarmed about. That gynea pretty much ruined my pregnancy… Anyway…, we decided to rather go back to my hometown to have my family doctor deliver Mikayla – we carried a full term and the only reason for the emergency cesarean was that there were very high ketone levels in my urine and my constant vomiting was denying my body and my baby the nutrition we needed. Everyone talks about that moment when they first lay eyes on their babies, when they felt this huge rush of love, when they knew they would give their life for this child in an instant, when their life hits this pinnacle of pinnacles. My moment wasn’t exactly like that, and it took me a while to realize that it was fine (and normal) too. Mikayla weighed 2.9kg at birth and when I first saw her I felt joy, relief, and even awe… deep, huge awe that this was a real baby – that this was my baby and I was her mother. Here she was, little grasping hands and pouty lips. Suddenly this abstract idea in my belly had turned into a real little person. I knew I loved her and that she was beautiful and perfect, but something was missing. I was so heavily medicated at the time that I wrote this strange feeling off and left it at that. I felt like a bride at an arranged marriage. I knew that the baby in my arms would be hugely important in the rest of my life, but right now, we had just met. I couldn’t stop staring at her over the next few days – not because I loved her, yet, but because I wanted to get to know her so badly. I was at home with Mikayla for about a month when I realized that I had Postnatal Depression, it was impossible to ignore it… and maybe that contributed to the lack of a bond I was feeling towards my child. Mikayla had colic, and I really struggled to breastfeed – no matter how hard I tried I just never had enough milk. This didn’t help at all, I felt like such a failure. I went to the doctor and was put on medication for the depression. It helped in some ways, but the bond was still missing… After two months I felt like I would lose my mind if I stayed at home any longer, so I started my new job – worst mistake ever. Not only was I not ready emotionally, but physically as well. I missed a lot of days at work due to either being sick or having really bad depression. After six months I resigned and started working at a different company doing kids clothing. I was doing really well and it lifted my spirits for a short while, but I still did not have my bond with my daughter. It took some serious soul searching and long, deep contemplation for me to finally realize that this was my baby, my little girl, she did not die, she made it… we made it and she is here and I don’t have to worry about losing her. I actually only realized that I didn’t fall in love-at-first-sight with my baby about a year later, when I was feeling that kind of love that made my heart feel like it might burst. I finally felt the bond between us starting to grow. I could feel the roots of this love and unbreakable bond working their way into me as I kissed her padded cheeks and watched her while she slept. By the age of two it was undeniable and got stronger every day… now at the age of almost four, she is my life… my everything, my existence. I have never felt a deeper love or a stronger bond than I do with my daughter. I think the insane after-pregnancy hormone cocktail actually made the love I was supposed to feel for my daughter attach itself to my husband. I had never loved him more intensely than in those first days when we came home from the hospital as a family, as I watched him hold our sleeping daughter on his chest, as I watched him, too, fall gradually in love with our child. In retrospect it is clear that hitting the “pinnacle of pinnacles” after the birth of your child is actually really hard for some moms. Whether you have experienced a surgical birth or a non-surgical birth – your body has just experienced a trauma. I know everyone insists childbirth is “the most natural thing in the world”, but guess what? It can also be incredibly disarming and scary, especially if you are on an operating table, awake, while someone is pulling a human from your body – I’ve heard having one emerge from your vagina is also not the most relaxing thing in the world. So don’t worry, rest assured in knowing that the day will come where you love your child so much it hurts. You are NOT a bad mom, you are human. You are

January 27, 2015

The Artificial Road To A Miracle Baby – An Inspiring Journey

I heard about Kerry and Michelle’s story through a mutual friend. Something about their story broke my heart and warmed it at the same time. I think sometimes we take for granted how easy the road to pregnancy for some of us are, without sparing a thought for those around us who might not be so lucky. Kerry and Michelle are a wonderful couple from Cape Town going through a journey of a lifetime and I hope we can all spare them a thought and send amazing positive vibes their way. I find their strength and positivity so inspiring. This is their story as told by Kerry… In September 2013 we decided that we would start trying for our first baby. We got started right away deciding that Kerry would be the one to carry the baby and we would find an anonymous donor at the Cape Fertility Clinic. We started off with saving for the procedure and taking all of the required vitamins, healthy dieting and no drinking or smoking to get Kerry’s body in tip top shape. We managed to get our first appointment with Dr Heylen at the Cape Fertility Clinic in late January 2014 after being bumped up the waiting list. The initial check up was perfect and we were all set for our first Artificial Insemination (AI) in early February. Unfortunately for the first time in her life, probably due to a lot of stress (we had a car accident that week), Kerry did not ovulate and the procedure was cancelled. We started on Clomid which could only be found at Wynberg Pharmacy. It made Kerry very moody and caused terrible hot flushes- we were optimistic that all would go well the second time around. After four failed inseminations – all with two to three beautiful follicles and a perfect uterus lining, Dr Heylenwas not happy and suggested surgery to see what was happening… The surgery (Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy) was scheduled at Kingsbury Hospital in June 2014. Dr Heylen is one of the very best fertility surgeons in Cape Town and he assured us that any problems he found, he would be able to fix and we would have our baby. He made us feel very confident… Unfortunately we found that Kerry’s Fallopian tubes were completely closed at the base. It was very likely that she was born with this, as there was no damage at all. This is something neither Dr Heylen or his staff had ever seen. It was pointless to fix and our best option would be IVF. We did an follow-up Hysteroscopy to see how severe the blockage was and where exactly it was located. This showed that there was 0% possibility of natural conception as all of the contrast fell out and nothing went into the Fallopian tubes. At this point we had put in about six months, R36 000 and many emotions – still no good news. We were understandably very desperate at this stage. The IVF journey was not easy at all, we completely understand why Dr Heylen started us off on AI. The procedure cost about R42 000 and was a very painful and time-consuming process. It consisted of three painful and complicated injections daily, many vaginal scans checking the follicle growth and an extremely painful egg retrieval procedure (by far the worst part as it was very painful and Kerry could only take Panado). The egg retrieval went very well and we retrieved eight perfect eggs, seven fertilized and made it to a perfect five-day embryo. On day five we put back two of the perfect five-day embryos with the hopes of a twin or singleton pregnancy. The procedure was perfect and Dr Heylen confirmed that at most we would have was twins, but more likely a singleton. We asked what the odds of having triplets were with the two embryos and he said it was literally none, he had never seen it in the decades he has been a fertility doctor and the odds were radically against this ever happening. The two week wait began again… This time slightly shortened as we were already five days in. On 27 July 2014 we did a sneaky home pregnancy test two days early, we promised we wouldn’t as we have done so many and each time we have been utterly devastated- but this time we came back with a positive result! We were over the moon, but still nervous in case it was a chemical pregnancy. On 29 July 2014 we did the blood test and got a BHCG of 167, quite high for this stage and from here we were already suspecting that we were going to have twins. The follow up test on 1 October 2014 gave us a result of 654, which was again quite high and showed all was going well. All we had to do now was wait for the first scan at 5-6 weeks. The 2-week wait was agonizing as we couldn’t wait to see our baby and confirm if it was twins or not. This was also quite an adjustment period for us as we had expected some morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms but not to such an severe extent. Kerry was sick every morning and evening and nauseous all day. She was losing weight rather than gaining and her belly and breasts were growing rapidly. The 6-week scan finally came and we got the extremely wonderful news that we were indeed expecting twins! Everything looked perfect – size, heartbeats and placement… we were so excited! We had confirmation that there were just two fetuses and everything was perfect as there was no chance they could split now. Another long three week wait for the final follow up scan with Dr Heylen at nine weeks was too much to handle and Michelle moved the appointment from Monday 6 October to Friday 3 October. It was at this appointment that everything changed and the pregnancy went from happy and exiting to absolutely terrifying. Dr Heylen told us that one of the embryo’s must have split shortly after implantation and as they are so small it was missed on the first scan. We now had triplets, two identical (Monochorionic-Diamniotic) and one fraternal. There was a brief moment of excitement where we were thinking ‘Wow! we have three babies!!’ but that was over as soon as Dr Heylen started talking. He explained that identical Monochorionic-Diamniotic twins by themselves is very complicated and dangerous as they share a placenta and they can get a condition called Twin To Twin Transfer Syndrome. This is

January 13, 2015

Pregnancy Brain… It’s A Real Thing

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or growing an entire human being that’s distracting you. Maybe it’s the hormones driving you crazy or maybe you really are losing your mind. Whatever it is, it’s your first actual taste of what it might be like to be senile. Pregnancy brain is not a medically proven phenomenon, but anyone who has ever been pregnant or lived with a pregnant woman knows it’s very, very real. Here are some of my pregnancy brain moments…so far: The time I locked Mikayla and myself out of the house on a cold evening…This was just after I took my pregnancy test, luckily I forgot to lock my car as well so we stayed in there to keep warm until Cole came home! When he arrived he asked me how I managed to do it and I told him I had pregnancy brain… Biggest goofball smile on his face I have ever seen! Cool pregnancy announcement huh? The time I wore two different shoes to my doctor’s appointment…Getting dressed should be like second nature…right? I mean… it is fairly easy, I pretty much dress other people for a living. I was feeling pretty well rested, I got dressed and off to my gynea appointment I went to check on my 22week baby bump. We did a scan, had a chat and off I went… As I am standing at the counter to pay for my visit I happen to look down at my feet… and I am wearing two different pairs of shoes. The time I left my car keys in the ignition, in my unlocked car for a whole day… In South Africa… I arrived at work and pulled into the parking lot. Nine hours later I get ready to leave when all of a sudden I notice my car keys are missing. A couple of my colleagues and I searched the office from top to bottom with no luck. I was pretty much in tears and hoping that I wouldn’t have to call my husband to drive 45 minutes in traffic with our toddler in tow, so I retraced my steps instead which leads me right back to my car where I find my keys in the ignition – all the doors unlocked. I can honestly say that it was a first for me. The time I forgot Mikayla in the naughty corner… Mikayla was having one hell of a tantrum over something ridiculous– I can’t even remember what it was about, but she did something naughty and I sent her to the naughty corner in the dining room. I carried on making supper, chatting to hubby and dishing up. In the back of my mind I noticed she was very quiet, but I guess I was preoccupied. I was just about to call her as I was taking our dinner through to the dinner table when she suddenly moved in the corner and pretty much gave me a heart attack! “Mommy can I come out now?” … She stood still in that corner without making a sound for close to an hour. Worst mother ever. I haven’t sent her to the naughty corner since. The time I searched and searched for my phone… and was so upset because I NEED my phone (I am addicted). Upset and crying out of frustration, I called my husband to tell him I lost my phone. What do you think I phoned him with? My phone that I had in my hand the whole time? Yeah. I also franticly search around the room for my phone while I am on the phone… this happens more often than I care to admit. Every single day, morning routine …where is my phone, wallet and keys? Look on the entrance table, look through my bag, find my keys – place them on the table. Look for my wallet, it’s in my handbag. Where is my phone? Look in my bag, look in the bedroom, and look in the bathroom – nowhere to be found. Cole phones it and it rings in my handbag. Take my handbag, leave the house, get to the car – where are my keys? Scratch through the handbag, go back into the house… on the table where I left it. Back to the car, I have my keys and I have my wallet… where is my phone? Scratch through the bag once, nothing… find it the second time, yay me! Every, single morning! P.S… that is why I am always late. The time I used toothpaste as make-up remover…I somehow managed to take a cotton ball, reach for the toothpaste instead of make-up remover, watch myself squirt toothpaste onto said cotton ball and wipe it on my face. Thank goodness I did not start with my eyes…. The day I forgot to put panties on Mikayla… this happens to be the same day that she had to have her Tonsillectomy/Adenoidectomy and wear an open-back gown. Once again… worst mother ever. Luckily Cole rushed home to get her a pair! What would I do without this man… The day I poured orange juice on my cereal instead of milk… it didn’t taste that bad, actually. The time I forgot how to drive home and ended up at my old office instead… I left work early so that I could get home early. Ironic. I could not remember how to get home, took the wrong turn-off and ended up going all the way back into town. By the time I realized what I was doing I was at my old office in Gardens and had to sit in the back end of traffic to get out of town and on my way home. What would have been a 15 minute trip ended up being about 2 hours. The day I forgot to wear a bra to work… do I even need to go into detail on this one? The day I was stuck at what seemed to be the longest red light of my life… cars behind me started hooting, so naturally I rolled my window down and started screaming how

January 7, 2015

I Am Not Fat… I’m Pregnant. 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

“Wow, you are getting HUGE!” “Oh, are you sure you’re not having twins?” “You’re only 24 weeks pregnant? How much bigger can you get?” “For someone who pretty much only eats salad you sure are gaining a lot of weight” “You look like you’re about to pop any minute!” …no… I still have about 15 weeks to go… These are some of the comments I get on a daily basis at work… from +/- 80 staff members… every…single…day. My husband doesn’t get why it upsets me so much, you’re pregnant, right? Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s the hormones.. but it’s the words that are used and the intention behind them that bothers me. Am I the only one having this problem? I am very aware of how pregnant I am, and I am not stupid… I know I’m getting fat. I was also not the skinniest person going into this pregnancy, but you already have to deal with stretch marks, being uncomfortable, itchy skin, swollen boobs, pimples and not knowing what to wear not to mention growing a human being for crying out loud. I guess I am mostly angry because I’ve been feeling so good.. My first pregnancy was a NIGHTMARE. You know that beautiful, glowing woman on the cover of a magazine looking lovingly at her perfectly tanned, perfectly round baby bump? That was not me. At all. This time around, however, I feel really good. Or at least I did. I am much bigger than when I was pregnant with my daughter and in the past 24 weeks I have gained about 10 kg’s. I also have a massive amount of water retention in my legs which makes them look like tree stumps and my hair and skin is an absolute mess. Am I being used as some totem of self-hatred, are they fascinated with my weight gain as a way of feeling better or worse about themselves? Is this what society has become? When women transform into the bloated, beautiful beasts we become during pregnancy, we are all of a sudden open to public comments — and everyone is a critic. Although we realize that we are selflessly giving our bodies for the creation of a new life and all that, it seems that the general public does not remember that there’s still a real woman in there, behind the baby – a real woman with real feelings about her body. At 24 weeks pregnant with my second child I would like to believe I’ve finally gained some perspective and a thicker skin about the surprising and insensitive things that people say to woman in one of her most fragile times. In my bid to educate society and hopefully prevent even just one other mamma-to-be feel the way I was feeling, here is 10 things you should NEVER do or say to a pregnant woman: 1.”Was it planned?” (Translation:Do you have sex regularly? Were you using birth control? Do you have a basic understanding of the human reproductive system? Or were you just being irresponsible?) Does it really matter whether someone was taking ovulation tests, having sexy time with their husband and then elevating their pelvis or whether they got drunk & screwed their boyfriend in the bathroom of a dodgy club? It really doesn’t at this point, and it’s none of your business. 2. “Are you sure there is just one baby in there?” (Translation: You are fat) I am sure that my gynecologist who has been a specialist in her field for the past 15 years can read an ultrasound properly, you idiot. 3. “Wow, you are getting HUGE.” (Translation: You are really fat) Thank you, I didn’t notice. I thought I was just pregnant. 4. “You are having your second baby? But you are so young…” (Translation: You child, you don’t know what you are doing) And you are so old. 5. “You are calling him/her what? I don’t that name, I think you should call him/her…” (Translation: You have bad taste) Oh okay, then I won’t name it that. Nobody cares that a girl named Angela took your chocolate chip cookie in grade two so don’t lift up the tarp covering your mental baggage. No-one asked you… please keep your opinion to yourself. Even if you are asked, lie. 6. Sushi. (Translation: I want to make you cry.) Don’t even think about it in my presence. 7. Unauthorized belly rubs! (Translation: I do not care about your personal space) When did this become okay?? Hands off the belly! 8. “Should you really be eating that? “ (Translation: You obviously do not have your child’s best interest at heart) You are very…very brave… 9. “Why are you having a C-section? You will miss out on the beautiful bonding experience of natural birth.” (Translation: You are going to be a bad mother) First of all, not all of us have a choice. My first baby was delivered via emergency C-section and therefore my doctor has decided that the safest way forward will be to deliver my second by C-section as well. Secondly, who are you to judge? There are multiple benefits to both C-sections as well as Natural birth…and once again, it has absolutely nothing to do with you whether I am going to have a stretched vagina or an ugly scar. Please mind your own business. 10. “Sleep now because you won’t get any when the baby gets here.” (Translation: Your life is over.) What the hell does this mean anyway? It’s not like you can bank sleep. It’s like saying “Don’t eat this year because an all-you-can-eat-buffet is opening up next March”. Plus, who says that the woman you’re saying this to is sleeping now? She may be a congested ball of heartburn, hemorrhoids and back pain so this kind of thing just adds insult to injury. The next time you see a pregnant woman, unless you are going to tell her how beautiful she looks, just keep your mouth shut. She doesn’t need to hear what you think about her size, her looks, her baby’s name, etc. You may think you’re witty but I can guarantee she does not.

December 12, 2014

The Birth of a Baby – What No One Really Tells You

When I first discovered that I was pregnant I went through the usual emotional reactions; excitement, fear, wonder, elation and dread. As with everyone first time mother who waited so long to fall pregnant I was obviously thankful and excited about the new journey I was about to embark. However, every positive thought is coupled with some very negative ones: What if I miscarry again? What if there is something wrong with the baby? What the hell am I doing? How am I going to get it out? I, like most pregnant women, had a very definite idea in my head of how I was going to give birth. I decided quite early on that I wanted to have a natural birth without any drugs. In fact, my first appointment with my doctor sparked off my seven month long investigation in how to have the prefect natural birth as my doctor (unlike many out there) was pro-natural. Each month I arrived at my check-up with a list of questions for my doctor as I had taken to reading as much literature as possible to ensure a smooth birth. Here are some of the “facts” : Exercise during your pregnancy. If you keep fit, you will not only stay healthy but it will make labour and birth much easier. I was running and road cycling before I feel pregnant and kept going with light spinning, 5km run/walks and water aerobics right through to 40 weeks. Just remember to not overdo it and don’t take suddenly go balls to the walls if you didn’t exercise before pregnancy Eat well. Maintaining a healthy diet is not only important to have a healthy baby, but it will help you keep off those extra kilos that you really don’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a good supply of choccies on hand but I balanced it out with some decent food. As a result, I put on a smaller amount of weight compared to some of my counterparts Have a well-defined birth plan. I knew what I wanted and I ensured that my birthing team knew, too. Which leads me to my next point Surround yourself with a good birthing team. My hubby and I were on the same page. He knew my doctor and the two of them had a great relationship. We also chose to have a doula as part of our team. She provided support and wonderful massages prior to the birth and was there to support us when labour started right through to post-birth My doctor and I were on the same page but she always did mention that I should be open to the possibility of a C-section just in case. I did just that and sat through the C-section part of our ante-natal classes with minimum interest, but interest nonetheless. At this point I should mention why I didn’t want a C-section: I heard the recovery period is long and painful You have to rely on other people to drive you around for six weeks You have an unsightly scar You will always have belly afterwards due to weakened stomach muscles You have to have an epidural This last point was my biggest concern as I am not really a needle person at the best of times and seeing the C-section videos in the ante-natal class did not help my fears. I was even more determined to go au natural. As the weeks ticked by, everything was going smoothly. At around 32 weeks, the baby had turned and remained head down for the rest of my pregnancy. She was weighing in on the larger side but healthy and we were well on our way to the perfect birth. At 40 weeks (and in the height of a scorching Jozi Summer) I was given the news that this baby is BIG and also very comfortable in my belly. My doctor estimate that she was already 4.3kg and she was in no rush to “drop”, my cervix was also nowhere near ripening so natural birth was starting to look unrealistic. The doctor’s concerns were the size of the baby so she really didn’t want me going too far over my due date and that my blood pressure was started to rise. I still think that was due to the heat and the fact that she just mentioned C-section to me! We were then asked to pick a date during the course of the next week for the birth of our child. My doctor ensured us that she would do everything in her power to force a natural birth but we needed to be prepared. I gave myself exactly a week to do EVERYTHING within my power to get this kid out! My first call was to our faithful doula who rushed over and started with all her doula magic to get the kid to drop and come out: Essential oil cotton balls between my boobs Reflexology, the kind they tell you to avoid in case it induces contractions Spicy foods Long walks Chiropractic pelvic alignment Sex – ok my hubby helped with this one but it wasn’t pretty Nothing worked, this kid was comfortable. A week later, I went to the hospital with my labour bag, birthing ball, cooler-box, tens machine, hypo-birthing tracks, baby bag, hospital bag and daddy bag. My doctor checked my cervix which was still rock-hard and bless her heart she was still going induce me so I could feel labour. I declined. Instead of hours of painful and fruitless labour, I opted for the C-section. It was smooth, not nearly as frightening as I thought and quick. I had a beautiful, healthy baby girl weighing in at a whopping 3.85kgs. All my fears were forgotten and everything was as it should be. My advice to you is this: stop focusing on the birth, it will not go according to plan no matter how hard you try. If you have a great team of medical

December 5, 2014

The Wonderful Journey Into Pregnancy – What a load of “beep”

I wouldn’t say I battled to fall pregnant but I didn’t exactly think it was easy. We went through the usual motions; I went off the pill in March and had a lot of fun “trying” over the next few months. In November, I had my routine annual check-up and my doctor gave me some blood work forms to be used if I wasn’t knocked up by March. The reason for this is because the WHO classifies you as infertile if you haven’t conceived in 12 months. TWELVE MONTHS?! I thought that to be a bit overdramatic! Nonetheless, I headed home with my forms and realized that this baby making business is just that, a business and a nasty one at that. I downloaded a Blackberry application that allowed me to input my cycle data and gave me an indication of my peak ovulation days. These days were highlighted green and became our guide to baby-making. It soon became a standing joke within our group friends that if we left a event early, they all claimed excitedly that it was a “green day”. In January, while at the GP for a strained ankle I found out that I was pregnant. Oh happy days! I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment for my very first scan, at 8 weeks. Unfortunately, I never got to keep that appointment as I miscarried at 7 weeks. There was no actual reason. It wasn’t anything I had done. Instead the baby had just stopped growing. I found out that more pregnancies end in miscarriage than I ever imagined, in fact some women don’t even know they are pregnant when they miscarry. It took me a week of tears, self-deprecation and chocolate, but I managed to pick myself back up. And so the baby-making adventure continued. It took two holidays, a resignation and a lot of beer but I was pregnant by the end of April and this time it stuck around. It all worked out in the end but it did take over a year to finally get everything going. And during that challenge I always found it extremely unfair that some of my close friends managed to have accidental pregnancies. Don’t get me wrong as I love those kiddies but I hated that nature made it so difficult for me to fall pregnant when I was trying so damn hard and my lovely friends just looked at their partners and conceived. I had an amazing pregnancy and birth in comparison to many people so maybe my troubles are in conception as opposed to having pregnancy quirks or nags. This fact is starting to ring true in the conception of number 2. In March of this year we made the decision to get cracking as our little girl was well out of her baby phase and well into toddler-hood. Add on 9 months and she would be the perfect big sister. This time round we started with the ovulation Blackberry app straight away and got to work. Each month, I religiously check dates, looked out for ovulation signs and went through the motions of making baby number two. It is now October and still nothing. This past week I bought an ovulation kit to determine if my “green days” really are optimal conception days and I failed all 5 tests that were in the kit. It would appear that my “green days” are complete fakes and that the past eight months have been for naught. I recently heard that the WHO considers you infertile if you aren’t pregnant after 6 months when you are trying for your second child. COME ON! I think it may be about time to dust those blood work forms off.

November 4, 2014

Introducing A New Baby To The Family

We forget sometimes that wonderful events, like a new arrival in the family, can also be pretty stressful. If you look at the scale of life’s most stress-inducing events, the arrival of a new baby is up there with death in the family, divorce and losing a job. And often the one who feels this the most is the older sibling of the new arrival. So how can we help them to cope with this world-changing adaptation to their family? Accept that this is stressful event. We sometimes become so focused on the positives that we forget that there are downsides, and we forget to discuss these downsides with our existing child. The age of the child will determine what kind of discussion you have, but it can be helpful for a while before bringing up the subject of the new baby to discuss how in life all things have an up and a down side to them. Then when you bring up the topic it can be a continuation of this and you can ask your child to help you to figure out the ups and downs of having a new baby. Children cope better with all changes if they have some background information. Read them books and watch movies about families having a new baby. Discuss with them the reality of a new baby. We sometimes want to brush over this and just focus on how fun it will be for them to have a new playmate, forgetting that children process the world very literally – a child may assume that they will be able to play soccer or snakes and ladders or hopscotch with the new baby from day one and then become bitter and disappointed when confronted by the reality of a crying, sleeping blob! Take a look at your current situation and how your child is getting their needs met. We all need some certainty, variety, to know that we are significant and loved, to have growth and challenges and a sense of contribution. Once you know how they’re currently meeting these needs, look at which needs will be challenged when the new baby comes and start finding alternative ways to meet these needs beforehand. For example, if their need for love and attention is currently all being fulfilled by you and you know you will have to divide your attention, start having a grandparent or friend come round and spend extra time with them long before the baby is born so that this becomes an alternate source of love and attention that they are used to and happy with. Think about where your child will be when you go to have the birth. Will they stay with a grandparent or aunt or friend? Start making this a regular occurrence long before your due date so that they can become comfortable wit the arrangement and even have it as something they look forward to. Start implementing waiting times. There will be times with a new baby where your older child will have to wait for something while you are feeding or changing or putting the baby to sleep. Get them used to this beforehand. A realistic waiting time will differ depending on your child, but you can safely say that they can handle about one minute for every year of their age. Ask a one year old to wait a minute, a two year old to wait for two. Start doing this regularly when they ask for something or need your help so that they are used to this and don’t blame your lack of immediate attention on the baby. Once the baby arrives, make sure that you set aside special one-on-one time EVERY DAY with your older child. They will need some extra love and attention. Keep in mind that the baby does not know what it is like to be an only child and will not fuss if they don’t get your undivided attention – your older child will. And never say that you can’t do something because of the baby – find another reason. A very helpful exercise to do as a family is to all take turns saying what you do and don’t like about the new baby. This gives your child an opportunity to vent feelings in a safe and open way and reinforces your discussions on the good and bad in all things in life. It can help for parents to go first and to genuinely be open about things they don’t like (for example, dad may say that he doesn’t like the baby taking away all his time with mom) – this shows the child that it is ok to have negative feelings, that he/she is normal, and won’t get into trouble for feeling resentful or angry or unloved. Children who are given an opportunity to express their negativity are less likely to act it out in destructive ways. Getting used to a new sibling can be tough, and even if you implement all of these suggestions you may still find your child becoming angry, resentful, jealous, sullen and even regressing in behavior. Know that this is perfectly normal and be patient. Punishing a child for acting out on feelings they don’t know how to process or express only adds to the negativity. When in doubt, add some extra love and kindness. Good luck!

October 6, 2014

Your Diet During Pregnancy, How Important Is It Really?

With so many myths out there about diet and pregnancy, no wonder new mothers-to-be feel confused about the do’s and don’ts of their own diets. To eat appropriately is the one thing a mother have a lot of control over, and wants to get 100% right, but is so afraid of getting it wrong. We are regularly told that our weight, nutritional status and health during pregnancy and breastfeeding have effect on a baby’s risk of developing disease in future, birth risks, the baby’s health and growth both in the uterus and after birth. Scary as it may sound, with the right dietary advice and support it can actually be quite easy to get your diet right with a few easy tips. Will what I eat in pregnancy influence my child’s eating habits? Want your child to love veggies? Start early. Very early! New research shows that WHAT a woman eats during pregnancy not only nourishes her baby in the womb, but can influence a baby’s palate and food memories before he/she is born. The study found that a mother’s diet shapes her baby’s food preferences and acceptance later in life. Flavour perception develops as early as in the unborn infant and taste and smell continues to develop once they are born. In the womb, a fetus is surrounded and nourished on amniotic fluids, which is filled with the flavours of what the mom has eaten in the last few hours. The fetus starts to swallow large amounts of amniotic fluid from about 12 week’s gestation. By the time a womb reaches her third trimester the fetus’s brain starts to communicate with the taste and smell receptors – for the baby to start to associate with certain flavours and odours in the amniotic fluid. A baby therefore already starts to build a memory bank of tastes and flavours during pregnancy. Amniotic fluid is therefore the first food for the baby to feast on and contains protein, sugars, fat and different flavours of the food that the mother eats. The fetus can detect these tastes and flavours – forming memories of these flavours and will prefer flavours that were previously experienced in the amniotic fluid. It was shown that if mothers who consumed carrot, anise or garlic flavoured food during pregnancy, their infants would be more accepting to flavours later in life. The flavour learning continues when infants experience the flavours of mother’s diet transmitted in breast milk, especially flavours such as anise, garlic, carrot, mint, vanilla. When babies start solids they showed greater liking for and acceptance of flavours to which they had early exposure. This means you can teach your baby to like broccoli from an early age! This varied experiences with food flavours increase food acceptance and may help explain why children who are breastfed are less picky during childhood. Formula tastes the same day-in and day-out. If you plan to formula feed your infant, and worry about the lack of variants in flavours just make sure you introduce your baby to the largest variety of solid food and flavours early on in the weaning period. To conclude, if you want your children to eat a healthy diet (e.g. their broccoli) or more adventurous diet, you should expose them to all the right, healthy flavours early on. Will WHAT I eat during pregnancy affect what diseases my child may have in later life? There are some studies that show that the mother’s diet may affect whether children have the risk for developing diabetes, heart disease, obesity or high blood pressure later in life. During the war, when pregnant women were exposed to very little food, especially in the first trimester, their children were more likely to be born heavier, taller and develop heart disease in adulthood. Some studies suggest that when an expectant mother has too little protein and too many carbohydrates in her diet, the child may have a risk of high blood pressure later in life. This also applies to when you do not supplement your diet with the recommended vitamin and mineral supplements e.g. folic acid, iron calcium and vitamin D. “Over nutrition” during pregnancy also has detrimental effects and may cause the fetus to grow faster than the fetus’s organs and can lead to liver, heart and kidney disease in adulthood. There is also a suggestion in research that if your diet is rich in omega 3 fatty acids (mainly available in oily fish and seeds) during pregnancy it can protect the baby against ailments such as high blood pressure and heart disease in adult life. Should I avoid certain foods during pregnancy to prevent my child from having food allergies? Many scientific studies have been done to investigate whether mothers who avoid certain foods in the diet during pregnancy can control the presence of allergies and eczema in their babies once they are born. They all concluded that babies might or might not present with food allergies and eczema, regardless of the mother’s diet, especially when there is a strong family history of food allergies. They also concluded that avoiding certain food in the pregnant mother’s diet have shown to affect the mother and the baby’s nutritional status. Both may run the risk of missing out on essential vitamin and minerals contributing to an inadequate nutritional intake and is therefore not recommended. You can actually do more harm than good by avoiding anything in the diet for instance nuts, fish, eggs, milk, citrus fruits to prevent allergies in your baby. If you as expectant mother do suffer from food allergies and need to avoid certain foods it would be of benefit to consult a dietitian who would be able to provide you with a nutritionally balanced diet and ensure both you and your baby get all the nutrients you require. Super foods for pregnancy Eggs: It contains choline that helps to reduce the risk of neural tube defects, such as spina bifida. In addition, studies suggest that choline is key to the

August 18, 2014

Smoking and Your Baby

Mothers’ smoking during pregnancy is well-recognized as carrying a range of serious health risks for the unborn baby including fetal mortality, low birth weight, premature birth and a range of serious birth defects such as cleft palate, club foot and heart problems. Heart Defects Congenital heart defects are the most common type of birth defects, contributing to approximately 30 percent of infant deaths from birth defects annually. Tobacco exposure in the womb may be a huge contributing factor. According to study results just published in the 28 Feb 2011 issue of the journal Pediatrics, women who smoke during the first trimester of pregnancy increase their unborn child’s risk of being born with congenital heart defects by 20 to 70 percent. The study, conducted by the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), found a link between tobacco and defects that inhibit blood flow from the right side of the heart into the lungs and openings between the upper chambers of the heart. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) SIDS, also known as cot death, is marked by the sudden death of an infant that is unexpected by medical history and remains unexplained after a thorough forensic autopsy and a detailed death scene investigation. However, studies show that infants of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are three times more likely to die of SIDS than those whose mothers were smoke-free. Furthermore, exposure to secondhand smoke doubles a baby’s risk of SIDS. According to the US Surgeon General’s Report, infants who die from SIDS tend to have higher concentrations of nicotine and conicotine (a biological marker for secondhand smoke exposure) in their body fluids than those who die from other causes. Yet another good reason to ditch the cigs. I know quitting smoking is no easy task but it just has to be easier than grieving for a lost child! Second Hand Smoke A pregnant mother who does not smoke and breathes in secondhand smoke has a 23% higher chance of delivering a stillborn baby or a 13% higher chance of giving birth to a child with congenital birth defects. This is what researchers from the University of Nottingham, England, revealed in the journal Pediatrics. As we still do not know when the effects of secondhand smoke may begin, it is important to protect women from environmental tobacco smoke not only during pregnancy, but also beforehand. Expectant fathers need to be aware of the harmful effects their smoking might have, and ultimately, in the interests of their partner and their unborn child, the best option would be to give up completely (Men also need to know that smoking does have an impact on sperm development and hence the prospects of the resulting foetus. Please quit before you even try for a baby). Enter Third Hand Smoke. Unheard of before but now thought to be the reason why babies who sleep in their parents’ bedrooms exhibit nicotine levels three times higher than those that sleep in another room – even though the parents don’t smoke in their bedroom. These figures show that they suffer from what is known as “third-hand smoke”, in other words the harmful smoke particles that impregnate their parents’ skin, clothes and hair. This third hand smoke – the invisible remains of cigarette smoke that deposits on carpeting, clothing, furniture and other surfaces – also poses a serious health hazard to babies crawling on carpets. So what to do? In view of all the above, the guidelines to parents are clear: Do not smoke during pregnancy (mothers and fathers). Never smoke or let anyone smoke near your baby. Never smoke or let anyone smoke in a room where your baby will sleep. If you smoke, do not sleep in the same room as your baby. Don’t hesitate to ask visitors not to smoke near your baby. Avoid visiting smoky places with your baby. Any of the above will make your baby smoke passively and increase his/her risk of health problems significantly. Baby will also be more prone to colds and airway infections and have an increased chance to develop asthma and other diseases. Quitting is the single most important thing a couple can do to give their baby a chance at better health. So how about quitting today!

July 17, 2014

Healthful Tips For A Healthy Pregnancy

You have just found out that you are pregnant – all excited and ready to let the world know that you are about to bring forth a new life! But once the initial excitement is over, you begin to ponder over what you should or should not be doing to ensure you have a healthy baby. Good nutrition plays a vital role for both the mother and the unborn child. An expectant mother should therefore be aware of the influence her nutritional choices will have on her and her little one. Here are some common questions and answers to help empower those moms-to-be! How much weight should you gain? Should pregnant women really be eating for two? What kinds of foods should be included, limited and avoided? How to manage nausea? What about supplements? What is gestational diabetes and how do you manage it? What about high cholesterol levels during pregnancy? How Much Weight Should I Gain? The amount of weight gain will vary depending on your pre-pregnancy weight. If you are at a healthy weight (BMI between 18.5 and 25) before pregnancy, your weight increase over the pregnancy period should be between 11-16kg. If you are overweight (BMI between 25 and 30), you should not gain more than 7-11kg. If you are obese (BMI above 30) you should not gain more than 7kg. If you were underweight prior to conception (BMI less than 18.5), you should gain between 12-18kg. Adequate weight gain as well as following a healthy, balanced diet is required to ensure the health of your baby. Should Pregnant Women Really Be Eating For Two? Eating for two from the beginning of your pregnancy is a common myth which, if followed, can result in unnecessary weight gain. During the first trimester, you should only gain about one or two kilograms of body weight, as nutritional requirements only increase from the second trimester onwards (i.e. from the fourth month). To put this into perspective, during the second trimester energy intakes should increase by about 1,420 kJ (equivalent to 2 dairy and 2 starch servings) per day and a further 470 kJ (equivalent to 1 starch and 1 fruit serving) per day in the third trimester (this being for someone who had a healthy BMI prior to conception). Note: energy requirements increase due to growth of the baby and the mother’s increased body weight. Additional energy requirements will differ from person to person and is also dependent on the mother’s level of physical activity. What Kinds Of Foods Should Be Included, Limited And Avoided? The Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa (HSF) recommends including a variety of foods from the different food groups (dairy, starch, protein, vegetables, fruit and fats) before conception as well as during pregnancy. The minimum number of servings per food group should be as follows: Low fat or fat free dairy (milk, yoghurt, cheese, buttermilk or maas) – to provide adequate calcium and protein (3 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 cup (250 ml) milk, 1 tub (175 ml) yoghurt or a matchbox size (30g) of cheese) Unrefined starches (whole wheat bread, rolls, cereals, rice, pasta and potatoes) – to provide fibre, proteins and B vitamins (7 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 slice of bread, ½ cup cereal, porridge, cooked pasta or rice) Lean proteins (meat, fish, chicken, turkey, ostrich, soya, eggs, legumes and lentils) – to provide protein, iron and B vitamins (7 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to a matchbox size (30g) of meat/chicken/fish, 1 egg, 1/3 cup of beans or lentils) Vegetables and fruit to provide vitamins and minerals (at least 5 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 medium sized fruit, ½ cup cooked vegetables or 1 cup of raw vegetables or salad) Healthy fats (mono and polyunsaturated such as vegetable oils, soft-tub margarines, avocado, olives, nuts and seeds) (around 3 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 teaspoon oil or soft tub margarine, ¼ avo, a small handful of nuts or seeds) Note: The quantities of food should be adjusted to meet individual requirements to promote appropriate weight gain. Pregnant teenagers and underweight women may need greater quantities and should preferably consult a dietitian or health care professional. Water: Drink plenty of clean, safe water daily. Increasing fibre intake without drinking adequate water can lead to constipation. Artificial Sweeteners: Moderate use of these sweeteners has been deemed safe even though some sweeteners can be transmitted over the placenta. It must be noted though that women with a rare metabolic condition, phenylketonuria (PKU), should avoid these sweeteners. Caffeine: Caffeine intake should be limited to no more than 2 cups of coffee or 5 cups of tea per day. Alcohol: No alcohol should be consumed during pregnancy as it can lead to foetal alcohol syndrome (resulting in slow growth, slow mental development, eye problems, face and skull abnormalities and low birth weight). Although some health professionals will advise on moderate drinking, we don’t know at what level the harmful effects start. Therefore it is better to completely avoid alcohol. For Food Safety Reasons To Reduce The Risk Of Food Borne Illnesses, Avoid: Processed cold meats or deli meats unless they are reheated until very hot Avoid cured but uncooked meats like smoked salmon or Parma ham. Cooked cold meats such as smoked chicken, ham or beef can be eaten if you buy from a reputable store, make sure it’s in date, and store meat in a fridge without letting it stand outside at room temperature. Soft cheeses like feta, brie, camembert and blue veined cheese unless they are labelled ‘made with pasteurised milk’. Other options like mozzarella, cheese spreads and cottage cheese can be safely consumed Refrigerated paté or meat spreads. Canned or shelf-stable paté and meat spreads can be eaten Eating smoked seafood that is refrigerated unless it’s an ingredient in a cooked dish like pizza Raw/seared fish or shellfish as well as rare meat cuts Unwashed vegetables How To Manage Nausea? Nausea is common during pregnancy and you can try one of

July 9, 2014

Decorating Your Baby’s Room on a Budget

Creating a sweet space and decorating your baby’s room does not need to cost a fortune. We will give you some tips and suggestions on how you can design and furnish without breaking the bank. Decorating your Baby’s Room on a Budget So, you know the sex of the baby, you’ve started collecting clothes but you’ve been putting off thinking about the nursery as it is such a daunting task. Keep calm and don’t panic. Firstly you should decide what your budget is. Then list all the things that you think you need. There are certain items that are essential- a cot, changing table a chair and some sort of storage for clothes, nappies and toiletries. Then there are the other smaller items and accessories that will warm the room up and make it look pretty like lamps, rugs and pictures. Work through the list and see what you can borrow, refurbish or add on at a later stage. Next, you will need some inspiration. Page through magazines for ideas or spend some time on Pinterest and get an idea of what colours, themes or styles you like. Look at the room and visualise the space that you want. Go to a paint store and collect swatches of colours that appeal to you. Recycle Take a look around your house or at second hand shops for items you can restyle or up-style. An old cabinet or chest of drawers can be converted to a changing table. Just sand it down, paint it white and replace the drawer knobs with something fun. Old wicker baskets can be found at flea markets and spring cleaned and used for storing clothes or blankets. That old rocking chair from your Grandmother’s house can be given a distressed treatment and made comfortable with fluffy cushions. Friends and family Add the items you want for the nursery onto the list for your baby shower. Friends can join up together and buy those bigger priced items. ‘You can’t hurt from asking’ is one of my mantras that I live by. See what people have to share or pass on. Children grow up so quickly and all parents find themselves with changing tables, cots and other accessories and no place to store them. You can offer to store it for them; in your home. Design Adaptability is the keyword here so keep the colours neutral and the designs simple. As your baby grows you then do not have to redecorate every year. You can keep the walls a clean colour and then add a patterned border as a feature. You can also paint one wall a fun vibrant colour and have this as your accent wall. Or paint designs such as wide stripes a large checkerboard or polka dots on one wall. Detail Small accessories will add a personal touch and some fun. A pretty lamp or light shade. A simple bookshelf on the wall displayed with soft toys and some books makes a great feature. The bookshelf can be brought at a hardware store and painted white. Artworks add a great touch. Simple white frames from a discount homestore can be filled with family pictures or pattered scrapbook paper or fun wrapping paper. Striped or shaped rugs add some warmth and colour and can bring the whole area together. Letters in wood that spell out your child’s name can be positioned above the cot or get a whole lot of numbers and paint them and hang as a feature. I have decorated my son’s bedroom and helped countless friends out with their nurseries. I always try to create a space that the child can relax in and grow into. Have fun with it, share ideas and don’t forget to ask for help from friends and family.

April 6, 2014

Having a Baby After Cancer

While having a baby after cancer is generally considered to be safe, there are special circumstances that can make it necessary for some couples to plan their pregnancies in advance. Along with other, more typical factors that can frustrate your attempts to become pregnant, common cancer treatments such as partial or total removal of the cervix, radiation therapy to the entire abdomen, radiation therapy for the testicles or uterus, and anthracycline chemotherapy can all play roles in determining how difficult conception and childbirth will ultimately be. Just what role those effects will play may depend on the age of the patient, but even if the treatments don’t cause permanent damage, it can still take years to fully recover. Fortunately, if you want to make sure you can still have a baby after cancer regardless of how the treatment affects you, modern technology has ensured that there are some excellent options that you can pursue in order to improve your chances of success. The Mandatory Waiting Period – Although there are no firmly established guidelines for exactly how long you should wait after your last cancer treatment to have a baby, it is usually recommended that women wait at least six months. During this time, any eggs that have been negatively affected by the cancer treatment are likely to leave the body. For both men and women, however, it is believed best to wait between two and five years before attempting to conceive. While there is no denying that this can be a heartbreakingly long time to parents eager to have a child, this broad estimate—starting from the time that all of the required treatments are received by the patient to the time when the patient tries to have a child—reflects just how difficult it can be for doctors to reliably assess the likelihood of the cancer recurring as well as for the patient to recover his or her previous reproductive virility. Getting Started – After a rough battle with any chronic illness, and especially after experiencing the terror of learning you have cancer, few things can be more uplifting than the anticipation and joy of childbirth. Yet, there are two risks that a woman should consider prior to conceiving: 1) what is her risk of cancer recurrence and 2) what is the risk of pregnancy increasing the chances of the cancer coming back? The latter is especially important for women who have hormonally driven cancers or cancers that require prolonged oral therapy. Fortunately, there are several options that will help any woman who has had cancer—even ones with the aforementioned risks—achieve the joy of parenthood. A cryobank is often the ideal solution for couples who are eager to get started on building their families right away. Both short and long-term embryo storage is available through cryobanks, as are egg and sperm banking services. Since the deposited sperm or eggs remain unaffected by the cancer treatments, aspiring parents can plan in advance for their pregnancies, whether choosing to wait until a full five years have passed or to proceed immediately after treatment. When sperm and eggs are collected prior to treatments, there is no fear of having them being negatively impacted. Ideally, when the sperm and eggs are collected prior to treatment, they would be collected as embryos versus as separate eggs and sperm. The reason this is ideal is because frozen embryos have a 15% to 30% improved chance of resulting in a healthy birth than that of frozen eggs or frozen sperm. If it is possible for couples to freeze embryos, then it is highly recommended that they do so instead of just banking frozen eggs and sperm. This extends even to women who may still be single prior to treatment, but know they want children in the future that are biologically theirs. They can freeze their eggs or even freeze embryos using a donor’s sperm for the future. While many couples will be able to conceive after freezing their embryos, not every couple is as fortunate. Yet, there are still options for them. Couples who find that they cannot conceive after going through cancer treatment can seek out a surrogate to carry their child for them. It is important to note that couples seeking a surrogate should do careful research into the laws of surrogacy and the associated costs, which can be significant. Usually the couple is expected to cover the medical, legal and other reasonable expenses for the surrogate, which might include monetary compensation. It is recommended to pursue surrogacy through either an agency or through a lawyer to help the biological parents know their rights and keep the process as smooth as possible. Risk of the Child Having Cancer – Currently there is no evidence suggesting that a cancer diagnosis in the parent increases your child’s risk of getting cancer. The only time this should be a worry is if your cancer is genetically linked. If it is, then it is strongly recommended you meet with your doctor or a genetic counsellor to better understand your risk of passing those specific genes to your child. Yet even in these situations, there are still options. For example, if you use in vitro fertilisation as your avenue to pregnancy, then you can screen your embryos for the cancer-causing gene to make sure you will not pass it on. When the unexpected occurs in life, people often have no choice but to make the best of what they are dealing with. Looking ahead to the creation of a healthy family unit is often a great way to promote positive emotions during a trying time. Fertility preservation can eliminate fears and reservations concerning some of the latest and more aggressive treatments, thereby supplying cancer patients with lasting peace of mind. Of all the many uncertainties that cancer survivors must wrestle with, the fear of not being able to produce or bear children should not be one of them.

November 26, 2013

Decorating your baby’s nursery

One of the enjoyable tasks involved with having a baby is planning and preparing a warm and welcoming space in your home for your new addition. However, when you add the concerns associated with pregnancy to the challenges of redecorating a room, it can be difficult to know just when to begin preparing that special room. You should consider several factors when determining when to begin decorating your baby’s nursery. The most important is time, for anything you do while you are pregnant. You need to be able to finish the decorating before your baby is born, which could be anywhere from a few weeks before your due date to a few days afterward. To be safe, plan to finish your decorating project before week 36 of your pregnancy. Although you may be bursting with ideas for the baby’s room, it is best to avoid purchasing items during the first trimester. Many mothers feel comfortable purchasing items and picking out paint colours once they are over this critical hump. The first trimester is a great time to look over your budget and determine what your spending allocation will be for the nursery, and to create a checklist of basic items you will need to purchase. Once you are past the first trimester, all those big plans in your head can begin to be realized. Many parents begin by choosing a theme for the nursery. Bedding can be a source of inspiration for paint colour and furniture type. So when can you begin? Determining when to begin decorating your baby’s nursery depends on your chosen theme. If you have chosen a gender-specific nursery theme, you have to wait to begin decorating until after your medical team can determine your baby’s sex through an ultrasound. This can usually be done between 20 and 28 weeks of pregnancy. Needless to say, this narrows down the window of time you can spend decorating the nursery considerably if you want it to be finished before the baby arrives. One way to avoid having to rush through decorating is to choose a neutral colour for the walls and floor of your baby’s room. Then, when you know whether your baby will be a boy or girl, you can add gender-specific items, such as wall hangings, bedding or throw rugs, to the room to make it special. For those with tight budgets, begin purchasing nursery items as soon as you can. Consider that some of the items found in the nursery include a cot, bedding, a chest of drawers, a changing area and a feeding chair. Plan on having your completed nursery done about six weeks before your due date. Have the nursery entirely set up at least a month before your due date, just in case baby decides to make an early entry into the world. The first item to purchase should be paint. It is best to get the painting done while the nursery is empty. Once you start to fill the room with furniture, painting becomes more complicated and can involve moving large items around. Another important consideration is the safety of mom and baby. The mother-to-be should not be moving furniture or painting in enclosed areas. Be sure that your plans include a helper. Painting on ladders and moving furniture should be avoided. If you and your significant other or helper have busy schedules, be sure to set aside days to do these activities together. Shopping for one baby is stressful enough, but if you are expecting twins, it is even more difficult. Most parents may feel the urge to simply buy two of everything. This is not always the case. There are some simple rules to keep in mind when shopping for your newborn twins.Decide which items the twins can share Start with the most important furniture items- 2 x cots (although in the first few months, the babies will share a cot, they grow very quickly, and once able to roll, can begin to disturb each other, and when you realise this, and it becomes problematic, you no longer have a waiting time available to allow for manufacture), 1 x compactum- it is NOT necessary to purchase 2 x compactums, as you cannot stand at 2 units at the same time. A good quality, comfortable feeding chair, and shelving should be considered. The Chad cots (available at dream furniture) are ideal, as there are no gaps, and if the middle rails are lowered, the babies can then climb in and out of each other’s cots when it is “awake time”, however, they can also be separated from each other when it is “sleep time”. Designing your baby’s nursery needn’t be a stressful time, with the correct knowledge and planning, turning your baby’s nursery from drab to fab can be as easy as 1 2 3!

September 26, 2013

What is HELLP Syndrome?

Ruby was born at 30 weeks gestation via emergency caesarean and was a tiny 1044 grams at birth. She suffered from tachycardias (when the heart beats over 100 bpm) and was given caffeine to help prevent bradycardias (when the heart beats under 60 bpm). Ruby was required to be on a continuous positive air pressure (CPAP) machine to keep her airways open. She had jaundice, requiring phototherapy several times and suffered from continual apnoea episodes throughout her stay in the neonatal intensive care unit. Due to being intubated, Ruby developed an oral aversion so in turn she came home with a nasal gastric tube. Her hospital stay was 10 weeks in total. So why did all of this have to happen to Ruby? The answer is because I developed a life threatening and rare complication called HELLP syndrome. My kidneys and liver were failing. I was at risk of seizures and there was a chance that I may lose my life. Ruby was at risk of losing hers before it had even began. HELLP stands for H (hemolysis, which is the breaking down of red blood cells), EL (elevated liver enzymes) and LP (low platelet count). The most reported symptoms of HELLP syndrome are the following; Headache Nausea and/or vomiting Visual disturbances Swelling High blood pressure Epigastric tenderness and upper right quadrant pain (from liver distention) Protein in the urine Ruby is now 16 months old. She continues to have issues with her feeding, causing her weight gain to be slow. Ruby also has experienced hypersensitivity, which has caused her some distress in social situations. The experts said that Ruby would grow to be a strong person, and she has proven that. They said she may have issues with her sight and hearing… Apart from the earlier hearing tests, Ruby has blitzed every test since. They said she might struggle with feeding… And that she has. However, Ruby surprised us recently and moved onto ‘soft lumps’ from her normally pureed foods. They said we may come across issues with Ruby’s brain development due to her prematurity… And so far we have seen none. Ruby is one clever little girl. She is clapping, ‘high fiving’ everyone and playing peek-a-boo just like all of the other 16 month olds. They said that Ruby would be smaller than most other kids her age… She is smaller yet just as capable. They said she would be 18 months old before she took her first step … And now Ruby is walking, months ahead of when she was expected to take that first step. They also said that Ruby would rise up and beat her obstacles like many of her premature peers… And that she continues to do each and every day. It is so easy to forget how precious it is to be alive. Help us raise awareness of HELLP syndrome. Visit www.facebook.com/littlemiraclebook. There you will find details about a 100% non-profit book I wrote for children that began life in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). ‘Little Miracle’ is a heartwarming children’s book that journeys through the ups and downs of a NICU experience. It is a tale of how nothing, not even separation, can break the bond between a mother and her precious child. All proceeds are going to charities that share my vision of HELLP syndrome awareness.

June 24, 2013

Cookie	Duration	Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement	1 year	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Advertisement".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional	11 months	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy	11 months	The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_ga	2 years	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, campaign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assign a randomly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gid	1 day	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the website is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages visted in an anonymous form.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_gat_gtag_UA_18530557_4	1 minute	No description
pron_ip	session	No description
pvc_visits[0]	1 day	This cookie is created by post-views-counter. This cookie is used to count the number of visits to a post. It also helps in preventing repeat views of a post by a visitor.
tk_ai	session	Gathers information for WordPress by themselves, first party analytics tool about how WP services are used. A collection of internal metrics for user activity, used to improve user experience.