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I Am Not Fat… I’m Pregnant. 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

“Wow, you are getting HUGE!” “Oh, are you sure you’re not having twins?”  “You’re only 24 weeks pregnant? How much bigger can you get?” “For someone who pretty much only eats salad you sure are gaining a lot of weight” “You look like you’re about to pop any minute!” …no… I still have about 15 weeks to go… These are some of the comments I get on a daily basis at work… from +/- 80 staff members… every…single…day. My husband doesn’t get why it upsets me so much, you’re pregnant, right? Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s the hormones.. but it’s the words that are used and the intention behind them that bothers me. Am I the only one having this problem? I am very aware of how pregnant I am, and I am not stupid… I know I’m getting fat. I was also not the skinniest person going into this pregnancy, but you already have to deal with stretch marks, being uncomfortable, itchy skin, swollen boobs, pimples and not knowing what to wear not to mention growing a human being for crying out loud. I guess I am mostly angry because I’ve been feeling so good.. My first pregnancy was a NIGHTMARE. You know that beautiful, glowing woman on the cover of a magazine looking lovingly at her perfectly tanned, perfectly round baby bump? That was not me. At all. This time around, however, I feel really good. Or at least I did. I am much bigger than when I was pregnant with my daughter and in the past 24 weeks I have gained about 10 kg’s. I also have a massive amount of water retention in my legs which makes them look like tree stumps and my hair and skin is an absolute mess. Am I being used as some totem of self-hatred, are they fascinated with my weight gain as a way of feeling better or worse about themselves? Is this what society has become? When women transform into the bloated, beautiful beasts we become during pregnancy, we are all of a sudden open to public comments — and everyone is a critic. Although we realize that we are selflessly giving our bodies for the creation of a new life and all that, it seems that the general public does not remember that there’s still a real woman in there, behind the baby – a real woman with real feelings about her body. At 24 weeks pregnant with my second child I would like to believe I’ve finally gained some perspective and a thicker skin about the surprising and insensitive things that people say to woman in one of her most fragile times. In my bid to educate society and hopefully prevent even just one other mamma-to-be feel the way I was feeling, here is 10 things you should NEVER do or say to a pregnant woman: 1.”Was it planned?” (Translation:Do you have sex regularly? Were you using birth control? Do you have a basic understanding of the human reproductive system? Or were you just being irresponsible?) Does it really matter whether someone was taking ovulation tests, having sexy time with their husband and then elevating their pelvis or whether they got drunk & screwed their boyfriend in the bathroom of a dodgy club? It really doesn’t at this point, and it’s none of your business. 2. “Are you sure there is just one baby in there?” (Translation: You are fat) I am sure that my gynecologist who has been a specialist in her field for the past 15 years can read an ultrasound properly, you idiot. 3. “Wow, you are getting HUGE.” (Translation: You are really fat) Thank you, I didn’t notice. I thought I was just pregnant. 4. “You are having your second baby? But you are so young…” (Translation: You child, you don’t know what you are doing) And you are so old. 5. “You are calling him/her what? I don’t that name, I think you should call him/her…” (Translation: You have bad taste) Oh okay, then I won’t name it that. Nobody cares that a girl named Angela took your chocolate chip cookie in grade two so don’t lift up the tarp covering your mental baggage. No-one asked you… please keep your opinion to yourself. Even if you are asked, lie. 6. Sushi. (Translation: I want to make you cry.) Don’t even think about it in my presence. 7. Unauthorized belly rubs! (Translation: I do not care about your personal space) When did this become okay?? Hands off the belly! 8. “Should you really be eating that? “ (Translation: You obviously do not have your child’s best interest at heart) You are very…very brave… 9. “Why are you having a C-section? You will miss out on the beautiful bonding experience of natural birth.” (Translation: You are going to be a bad mother) First of all, not all of us have a choice. My first baby was delivered via emergency C-section and therefore my doctor has decided that the safest way forward will be to deliver my second by C-section as well. Secondly, who are you to judge? There are multiple benefits to both C-sections as well as Natural birth…and once again, it has absolutely nothing to do with you whether I am going to have a   stretched  vagina or an ugly scar. Please mind your own business. 10. “Sleep now because you won’t get any when the baby gets here.” (Translation: Your life is over.) What the hell does this mean anyway? It’s not like you can bank sleep. It’s like saying “Don’t eat this year because an all-you-can-eat-buffet is opening up next March”. Plus, who says that the woman you’re saying this to is sleeping now? She may be a congested ball of heartburn, hemorrhoids and back pain so this kind of thing just adds insult to injury. The next time you see a pregnant woman, unless you are going to tell her how beautiful she looks, just keep your mouth shut.  She doesn’t need to hear what you think about her size, her looks, her baby’s name, etc.  You may think you’re witty but I can guarantee she does not.

Parenting Hub

The Birth of a Baby – What No One Really Tells You

When I first discovered that I was pregnant I went through the usual emotional reactions; excitement, fear, wonder, elation and dread. As with everyone first time mother who waited so long to fall pregnant I was obviously thankful and excited about the new journey I was about to embark. However, every positive thought is coupled with some very negative ones: What if I miscarry again? What if there is something wrong with the baby? What the hell am I doing? How am I going to get it out? I, like most pregnant women, had a very definite idea in my head of how I was going to give birth. I decided quite early on that I wanted to have a natural birth without any drugs. In fact, my first appointment with my doctor sparked off my seven month long investigation in how to have the prefect natural birth as my doctor (unlike many out there) was pro-natural. Each month I arrived at my check-up with a list of questions for my doctor as I had taken to reading as much literature as possible to ensure a smooth birth. Here are some of the “facts” : Exercise during your pregnancy. If you keep fit, you will not only stay healthy but it will make labour and birth much easier. I was running and road cycling before I feel pregnant and kept going with light spinning, 5km run/walks and water aerobics right through to 40 weeks. Just remember to not overdo it and don’t take suddenly go balls to the walls if you didn’t exercise before pregnancy Eat well. Maintaining a healthy diet is not only important to have a healthy baby, but it will help you keep off those extra kilos that you really don’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a good supply of choccies on hand but I balanced it out with some decent food. As a result, I put on a smaller amount of weight compared to some of my counterparts Have a well-defined birth plan. I knew what I wanted and I ensured that my birthing team knew, too. Which leads me to my next point Surround yourself with a good birthing team. My hubby and I were on the same page. He knew my doctor and the two of them had a great relationship. We also chose to have a doula as part of our team. She provided support and wonderful massages prior to the birth and was there to support us when labour started right through to post-birth My doctor and I were on the same page but she always did mention that I should be open to the possibility of a C-section just in case. I did just that and sat through the C-section part of our ante-natal classes with minimum interest, but interest nonetheless. At this point I should mention why I didn’t want a C-section: I heard the recovery period is long and painful You have to rely on other people to drive you around for six weeks You have an unsightly scar You will always have belly afterwards due to weakened stomach muscles You have to have an epidural This last point was my biggest concern as I am not really a needle person at the best of times and seeing the C-section videos in the ante-natal class did not help my fears. I was even more determined to go au natural. As the weeks ticked by, everything was going smoothly. At around 32 weeks, the baby had turned and remained head down for the rest of my pregnancy. She was weighing in on the larger side but healthy and we were well on our way to the perfect birth. At 40 weeks (and in the height of a scorching Jozi Summer) I was given the news that this baby is BIG and also very comfortable in my belly. My doctor estimate that she was already 4.3kg and she was in no rush to “drop”, my cervix was also nowhere near ripening so natural birth was starting to look unrealistic. The doctor’s concerns were the size of the baby so she really didn’t want me going too far over my due date and that my blood pressure was started to rise. I still think that was due to the heat and the fact that she just mentioned C-section to me! We were then asked to pick a date during the course of the next week for the birth of our child. My doctor ensured us that she would do everything in her power to force a natural birth but we needed to be prepared. I gave myself exactly a week to do EVERYTHING within my power to get this kid out! My first call was to our faithful doula who rushed over and started with all her doula magic to get the kid to drop and come out: Essential oil cotton balls between my boobs Reflexology, the kind they tell you to avoid in case it induces contractions Spicy foods Long walks Chiropractic pelvic alignment Sex – ok my hubby helped with this one but it wasn’t pretty Nothing worked, this kid was comfortable. A week later, I went to the hospital with my labour bag, birthing ball, cooler-box, tens machine, hypo-birthing tracks, baby bag, hospital bag and daddy bag. My doctor checked my cervix which was still rock-hard and bless her heart she was still going induce me so I could feel labour. I declined. Instead of hours of painful and fruitless labour, I opted for the C-section. It was smooth, not nearly as frightening as I thought and quick. I had a beautiful, healthy baby girl weighing in at a whopping 3.85kgs. All my fears were forgotten and everything was as it should be. My advice to you is this: stop focusing on the birth, it will not go according to plan no matter how hard you try. If you have a great team of medical

Parenting Hub

The Wonderful Journey Into Pregnancy – What a load of “beep”

I wouldn’t say I battled to fall pregnant but I didn’t exactly think it was easy. We went through the usual motions; I went off the pill in March and had a lot of fun “trying” over the next few months. In November, I had my routine annual check-up and my doctor gave me some blood work forms to be used if I wasn’t knocked up by March. The reason for this is because the WHO classifies you as infertile if you haven’t conceived in 12 months. TWELVE MONTHS?! I thought that to be a bit overdramatic! Nonetheless, I headed home with my forms and realized that this baby making business is just that, a business and a nasty one at that. I downloaded a Blackberry application that allowed me to input my cycle data and gave me an indication of my peak ovulation days. These days were highlighted green and became our guide to baby-making. It soon became a standing joke within our group friends that if we left a event early, they all claimed excitedly that it was a “green day”. In January, while at the GP for a strained ankle I found out that I was pregnant. Oh happy days! I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment for my very first scan, at 8 weeks. Unfortunately, I never got to keep that appointment as I miscarried at 7 weeks. There was no actual reason. It wasn’t anything I had done. Instead the baby had just stopped growing. I found out that more pregnancies end in miscarriage than I ever imagined, in fact some women don’t even know they are pregnant when they miscarry. It took me a week of tears, self-deprecation and chocolate, but I managed to pick myself back up. And so the baby-making adventure continued. It took two holidays, a resignation and a lot of beer but I was pregnant by the end of April and this time it stuck around. It all worked out in the end but it did take over a year to finally get everything going. And during that challenge I always found it extremely unfair that some of my close friends managed to have accidental pregnancies. Don’t get me wrong as I love those kiddies but I hated that nature made it so difficult for me to fall pregnant when I was trying so damn hard and my lovely friends just looked at their partners and conceived. I had an amazing pregnancy and birth in comparison to many people so maybe my troubles are in conception as opposed to having pregnancy quirks or nags. This fact is starting to ring true in the conception of number 2. In March of this year we made the decision to get cracking as our little girl was well out of her baby phase and well into toddler-hood. Add on 9 months and she would be the perfect big sister. This time round we started with the ovulation Blackberry app straight away and got to work. Each month, I religiously check dates, looked out for ovulation signs and went through the motions of making baby number two. It is now October and still nothing. This past week I bought an ovulation kit to determine if my “green days” really are optimal conception days and I failed all 5 tests that were in the kit. It would appear that my “green days” are complete fakes and that the past eight months have been for naught. I recently heard that the WHO considers you infertile if you aren’t pregnant after 6 months when you are trying for your second child. COME ON! I think it may be about time to dust those blood work forms off.

Mia Von Scha

Introducing A New Baby To The Family

We forget sometimes that wonderful events, like a new arrival in the family, can also be pretty stressful. If you look at the scale of life’s most stress-inducing events, the arrival of a new baby is up there with death in the family, divorce and losing a job. And often the one who feels this the most is the older sibling of the new arrival. So how can we help them to cope with this world-changing adaptation to their family? Accept that this is stressful event. We sometimes become so focused on the positives that we forget that there are downsides, and we forget to discuss these downsides with our existing child. The age of the child will determine what kind of discussion you have, but it can be helpful for a while before bringing up the subject of the new baby to discuss how in life all things have an up and a down side to them. Then when you bring up the topic it can be a continuation of this and you can ask your child to help you to figure out the ups and downs of having a new baby. Children cope better with all changes if they have some background information. Read them books and watch movies about families having a new baby. Discuss with them the reality of a new baby. We sometimes want to brush over this and just focus on how fun it will be for them to have a new playmate, forgetting that children process the world very literally – a child may assume that they will be able to play soccer or snakes and ladders or hopscotch with the new baby from day one and then become bitter and disappointed when confronted by the reality of a crying, sleeping blob! Take a look at your current situation and how your child is getting their needs met. We all need some certainty, variety, to know that we are significant and loved, to have growth and challenges and a sense of contribution. Once you know how they’re currently meeting these needs, look at which needs will be challenged when the new baby comes and start finding alternative ways to meet these needs beforehand. For example, if their need for love and attention is currently all being fulfilled by you and you know you will have to divide your attention, start having a grandparent or friend come round and spend extra time with them long before the baby is born so that this becomes an alternate source of love and attention that they are used to and happy with. Think about where your child will be when you go to have the birth. Will they stay with a grandparent or aunt or friend? Start making this a regular occurrence long before your due date so that they can become comfortable wit the arrangement and even have it as something they look forward to. Start implementing waiting times. There will be times with a new baby where your older child will have to wait for something while you are feeding or changing or putting the baby to sleep. Get them used to this beforehand. A realistic waiting time will differ depending on your child, but you can safely say that they can handle about one minute for every year of their age. Ask a one year old to wait a minute, a two year old to wait for two. Start doing this regularly when they ask for something or need your help so that they are used to this and don’t blame your lack of immediate attention on the baby. Once the baby arrives, make sure that you set aside special one-on-one time EVERY DAY with your older child. They will need some extra love and attention. Keep in mind that the baby does not know what it is like to be an only child and will not fuss if they don’t get your undivided attention – your older child will. And never say that you can’t do something because of the baby – find another reason. A very helpful exercise to do as a family is to all take turns saying what you do and don’t like about the new baby. This gives your child an opportunity to vent feelings in a safe and open way and reinforces your discussions on the good and bad in all things in life. It can help for parents to go first and to genuinely be open about things they don’t like (for example, dad may say that he doesn’t like the baby taking away all his time with mom) – this shows the child that it is ok to have negative feelings, that he/she is normal, and won’t get into trouble for feeling resentful or angry or unloved. Children who are given an opportunity to express their negativity are less likely to act it out in destructive ways. Getting used to a new sibling can be tough, and even if you implement all of these suggestions you may still find your child becoming angry, resentful, jealous, sullen and even regressing in behavior. Know that this is perfectly normal and be patient. Punishing a child for acting out on feelings they don’t know how to process or express only adds to the negativity. When in doubt, add some extra love and kindness. Good luck!

Parenting Hub

Your Diet During Pregnancy, How Important Is It Really?

With so many myths out there about diet and pregnancy, no wonder new mothers-to-be feel confused about the do’s and don’ts of their own diets. To eat appropriately is the one thing a mother have a lot of control over, and wants to get 100% right, but is so afraid of getting it wrong. We are regularly told that our weight, nutritional status and health during pregnancy and breastfeeding have effect on a baby’s risk of developing disease in future, birth risks, the baby’s health and growth both in the uterus and after birth. Scary as it may sound, with the right dietary advice and support it can actually be quite easy to get your diet right with a few easy tips. Will what I eat in pregnancy influence my child’s eating habits? Want your child to love veggies? Start early. Very early! New research shows that WHAT a woman eats during pregnancy not only nourishes her baby in the womb, but can influence a baby’s palate and food memories before he/she is born. The study found that a mother’s diet shapes her baby’s food preferences and acceptance later in life. Flavour perception develops as early as in the unborn infant and taste and smell continues to develop once they are born. In the womb, a fetus is surrounded and nourished on amniotic fluids, which is filled with the flavours of what the mom has eaten in the last few hours. The fetus starts to swallow large amounts of amniotic fluid from about 12 week’s gestation. By the time a womb reaches her third trimester the fetus’s brain starts to communicate with the taste and smell receptors – for the baby to start to associate with certain flavours and odours in the amniotic fluid. A baby therefore already starts to build a memory bank of tastes and flavours during pregnancy. Amniotic fluid is therefore the first food for the baby to feast on and contains protein, sugars, fat and different flavours of the food that the mother eats. The fetus can detect these tastes and flavours – forming memories of these flavours and will prefer flavours that were previously experienced in the amniotic fluid. It was shown that if mothers who consumed carrot, anise or garlic flavoured food during pregnancy, their infants would be more accepting to flavours later in life. The flavour learning continues when infants experience the flavours of mother’s diet transmitted in breast milk, especially flavours such as anise, garlic, carrot, mint, vanilla. When babies start solids they showed greater liking for and acceptance of flavours to which they had early exposure. This means you can teach your baby to like broccoli from an early age! This varied experiences with food flavours increase food acceptance and may help explain why children who are breastfed are less picky during childhood. Formula tastes the same day-in and day-out. If you plan to formula feed your infant, and worry about the lack of variants in flavours just make sure you introduce your baby to the largest variety of solid food and flavours early on in the weaning period. To conclude, if you want your children to eat a healthy diet (e.g. their broccoli) or more adventurous diet, you should expose them to all the right, healthy flavours early on. Will WHAT I eat during pregnancy affect what diseases my child may have in later life? There are some studies that show that the mother’s diet may affect whether children have the risk for developing diabetes, heart disease, obesity or high blood pressure later in life. During the war, when pregnant women were exposed to very little food, especially in the first trimester, their children were more likely to be born heavier, taller and develop heart disease in adulthood. Some studies suggest that when an expectant mother has too little protein and too many carbohydrates in her diet, the child may have a risk of high blood pressure later in life. This also applies to when you do not supplement your diet with the recommended vitamin and mineral supplements e.g. folic acid, iron calcium and vitamin D. “Over nutrition” during pregnancy also has detrimental effects and may cause the fetus to grow faster than the fetus’s organs and can lead to liver, heart and kidney disease in adulthood. There is also a suggestion in research that if your diet is rich in omega 3 fatty acids (mainly available in oily fish and seeds) during pregnancy it can protect the baby against ailments such as high blood pressure and heart disease in adult life. Should I avoid certain foods during pregnancy to prevent my child from having food allergies? Many scientific studies have been done to investigate whether mothers who avoid certain foods in the diet during pregnancy can control the presence of allergies and eczema in their babies once they are born. They all concluded that babies might or might not present with food allergies and eczema, regardless of the mother’s diet, especially when there is a strong family history of food allergies. They also concluded that avoiding certain food in the pregnant mother’s diet have shown to affect the mother and the baby’s nutritional status. Both may run the risk of missing out on essential vitamin and minerals contributing to an inadequate nutritional intake and is therefore not recommended. You can actually do more harm than good by avoiding anything in the diet for instance nuts, fish, eggs, milk, citrus fruits to prevent allergies in your baby. If you as expectant mother do suffer from food allergies and need to avoid certain foods it would be of benefit to consult a dietitian who would be able to provide you with a nutritionally balanced diet and ensure both you and your baby get all the nutrients you require. Super foods for pregnancy Eggs: It contains choline that helps to reduce the risk of neural tube defects, such as spina bifida. In addition, studies suggest that choline is key to the

Parenting Hub

Smoking and Your Baby

Mothers’ smoking during pregnancy is well-recognized as carrying a range of serious health risks for the unborn baby including fetal mortality, low birth weight, premature birth and a range of serious birth defects such as cleft palate, club foot and heart problems. Heart Defects Congenital heart defects are the most common type of birth defects, contributing to approximately 30 percent of infant deaths from birth defects annually. Tobacco exposure in the womb may be a huge contributing factor. According to study results just published in the 28 Feb 2011 issue of the journal Pediatrics, women who smoke during the first trimester of pregnancy increase their unborn child’s risk of being born with congenital heart defects by 20 to 70 percent. The study, conducted  by the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), found a link between tobacco and defects that inhibit blood flow from the right side of the heart into the lungs and openings between the upper chambers of the heart. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) SIDS, also known as cot death, is marked by the sudden death of an infant that is unexpected by medical history and remains unexplained after a thorough forensic autopsy and a detailed death scene investigation. However, studies show that infants of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are three times more likely to die of SIDS than those whose mothers were smoke-free. Furthermore, exposure to secondhand smoke doubles a baby’s risk of SIDS. According to the US Surgeon General’s Report, infants who die from SIDS tend to have higher concentrations of nicotine and conicotine (a biological marker for secondhand smoke exposure) in their body fluids than those who die from other causes. Yet another good reason to ditch the cigs. I know quitting smoking is no easy task but it just has to be easier than grieving for a lost child! Second Hand Smoke A pregnant mother who does not smoke and breathes in secondhand smoke has a 23% higher chance of delivering a stillborn baby or a 13% higher chance of giving birth to a child with congenital birth defects. This is what researchers from the University of Nottingham, England, revealed in the journal Pediatrics. As we still do not know when the effects of secondhand smoke may begin, it is important to protect women from environmental tobacco smoke not only during pregnancy, but also beforehand. Expectant fathers need to be aware of the harmful effects their smoking might have, and ultimately, in the interests of their partner and their unborn child, the best option would be to give up completely (Men also need to know that smoking does have an impact on sperm development and hence the prospects of the resulting foetus. Please quit before you even try for a baby). Enter Third Hand Smoke. Unheard of before but now thought to be the reason why babies who sleep in their parents’ bedrooms exhibit nicotine levels three times higher than those that sleep in another room – even though the parents don’t smoke in their bedroom. These figures show that they suffer from what is known as “third-hand smoke”, in other words the harmful smoke particles that impregnate their parents’ skin, clothes and hair. This third hand smoke – the invisible remains of cigarette smoke that deposits on carpeting, clothing, furniture and other surfaces – also poses a serious health hazard to babies crawling on carpets. So what to do? In view of all the above, the guidelines to parents are clear: Do not smoke during pregnancy (mothers and fathers). Never smoke or let anyone smoke near your baby. Never smoke or let anyone smoke in a room where your baby will sleep. If you smoke, do not sleep in the same room as your baby. Don’t hesitate to ask visitors not to smoke near your baby. Avoid visiting smoky places with your baby. Any of the above will make your baby smoke passively and increase his/her risk of health problems significantly. Baby will also be more prone to colds and airway infections and have an increased chance to develop asthma and other diseases. Quitting is the single most important thing a couple can do to give their baby a chance at better health. So how about quitting today!

Parenting Hub

Healthful Tips For A Healthy Pregnancy

You have just found out that you are pregnant – all excited and ready to let the world know that you are about to bring forth a new life! But once the initial excitement is over, you begin to ponder over what you should or should not be doing to ensure you have a healthy baby. Good nutrition plays a vital role for both the mother and the unborn child. An expectant mother should therefore be aware of the influence her nutritional choices will have on her and her little one. Here are some common questions and answers to help empower those moms-to-be! How much weight should you gain? Should pregnant women really be eating for two? What kinds of foods should be included, limited and avoided? How to manage nausea? What about supplements? What is gestational diabetes and how do you manage it? What about high cholesterol levels during pregnancy? How Much Weight Should I Gain?  The amount of weight gain will vary depending on your pre-pregnancy weight. If you are at a healthy weight (BMI between 18.5 and 25) before pregnancy, your weight increase over the pregnancy period should be between 11-16kg. If you are overweight (BMI between 25 and 30), you should not gain more than 7-11kg. If you are obese (BMI above 30) you should not gain more than 7kg. If you were underweight prior to conception (BMI less than 18.5), you should gain between 12-18kg. Adequate weight gain as well as following a healthy, balanced diet is required to ensure the health of your baby. Should Pregnant Women Really Be Eating For Two? Eating for two from the beginning of your pregnancy is a common myth which, if followed, can result in unnecessary weight gain. During the first trimester, you should only gain about one or two kilograms of body weight, as nutritional requirements only increase from the second trimester onwards (i.e. from the fourth month). To put this into perspective, during the second trimester energy intakes should increase by about 1,420 kJ (equivalent to 2 dairy and 2 starch servings) per day and a further 470 kJ (equivalent to 1 starch and 1 fruit serving) per day in the third trimester (this being for someone who had a healthy BMI prior to conception). Note: energy requirements increase due to growth of the baby and the mother’s increased body weight. Additional energy requirements will differ from person to person and is also dependent on the mother’s level of physical activity. What Kinds Of Foods Should Be Included, Limited And Avoided? The Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa (HSF) recommends including a variety of foods from the different food groups (dairy, starch, protein, vegetables, fruit and fats) before conception as well as during pregnancy. The minimum number of servings per food group should be as follows: Low fat or fat free dairy (milk, yoghurt, cheese, buttermilk or maas) – to provide adequate calcium and protein (3 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 cup (250 ml) milk, 1 tub (175 ml) yoghurt or a matchbox size (30g) of cheese) Unrefined starches (whole wheat bread, rolls, cereals, rice, pasta and potatoes) – to provide fibre, proteins and B vitamins (7 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 slice of bread, ½ cup cereal, porridge, cooked pasta or rice) Lean proteins (meat, fish, chicken, turkey, ostrich, soya, eggs, legumes and lentils) – to provide protein, iron and B vitamins (7 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to a matchbox size (30g) of meat/chicken/fish, 1 egg, 1/3 cup of beans or lentils) Vegetables and fruit to provide vitamins and minerals (at least 5 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 medium sized fruit, ½ cup cooked vegetables or 1 cup of raw vegetables or salad) Healthy fats (mono and polyunsaturated such as vegetable oils, soft-tub margarines, avocado, olives, nuts and seeds) (around 3 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 teaspoon oil or soft tub margarine, ¼ avo, a small handful of nuts or seeds) Note: The quantities of food should be adjusted to meet individual requirements to promote appropriate weight gain. Pregnant teenagers and underweight women may need greater quantities and should preferably consult a dietitian or health care professional. Water: Drink plenty of clean, safe water daily. Increasing fibre intake without drinking adequate water can lead to constipation. Artificial Sweeteners: Moderate use of these sweeteners has been deemed safe even though some sweeteners can be transmitted over the placenta. It must be noted though that women with a rare metabolic condition, phenylketonuria (PKU), should avoid these sweeteners. Caffeine: Caffeine intake should be limited to no more than 2 cups of coffee or 5 cups of tea per day. Alcohol: No alcohol should be consumed during pregnancy as it can lead to foetal alcohol syndrome (resulting in slow growth, slow mental development, eye problems, face and skull abnormalities and low birth weight). Although some health professionals will advise on moderate drinking, we don’t know at what level the harmful effects start. Therefore it is better to completely avoid alcohol. For Food Safety Reasons To Reduce The Risk Of Food Borne Illnesses, Avoid: Processed cold meats or deli meats unless they are reheated until very hot Avoid cured but uncooked meats like smoked salmon or Parma ham. Cooked cold meats such as smoked chicken, ham or beef can be eaten if you buy from a reputable store, make sure it’s in date, and store meat in a fridge without letting it stand outside at room temperature. Soft cheeses like feta, brie, camembert and blue veined cheese unless they are labelled ‘made with pasteurised milk’. Other options like mozzarella, cheese spreads and cottage cheese can be safely consumed Refrigerated paté or meat spreads. Canned or shelf-stable paté and meat spreads can be eaten Eating smoked seafood that is refrigerated unless it’s an ingredient in a cooked dish like pizza Raw/seared fish or shellfish as well as rare meat cuts Unwashed vegetables How To Manage Nausea? Nausea is common during pregnancy and you can try one of

Sharon Atkins

Decorating Your Baby’s Room on a Budget

Creating a sweet space and decorating your baby’s room does not need to cost a fortune. We will give you some tips and suggestions on how you can design and furnish without breaking the bank. Decorating your Baby’s Room on a Budget So, you know the sex of the baby, you’ve started collecting clothes but you’ve been putting off thinking about the nursery as it is such a daunting task.  Keep calm and don’t panic. Firstly you should decide what your budget is. Then list all the things that you think you need. There are certain items that are essential- a cot, changing table a chair and some sort of storage for clothes, nappies and toiletries. Then there are the other smaller items and accessories that will warm the room up and make it look pretty like lamps, rugs and pictures. Work through the list and see what you can borrow, refurbish or add on at a later stage. Next, you will need some inspiration. Page through magazines for ideas or spend some time on Pinterest and get an idea of what colours, themes or styles you like. Look at the room and visualise the space that you want. Go to a paint store and collect swatches of colours that appeal to you. Recycle Take a look around your house or at second hand shops for items you can restyle or up-style. An old cabinet or chest of drawers can be converted to a changing table. Just sand it down, paint it white and replace the drawer knobs with something fun. Old wicker baskets can be found at flea markets and spring cleaned and used for storing clothes or blankets. That old rocking chair from your Grandmother’s house can be given a distressed treatment and made comfortable with fluffy cushions. Friends and family Add the items you want for the nursery onto the list for your baby shower. Friends can join up together and buy those bigger priced items. ‘You can’t hurt from asking’ is one of my mantras that I live by. See what people have to share or pass on. Children grow up so quickly and all parents find themselves with changing tables, cots and other accessories and no place to store them. You can offer to store it for them; in your home. Design Adaptability is the keyword here so keep the colours neutral and the designs simple. As your baby grows you then do not have to redecorate every year. You can keep the walls a clean colour and then add a patterned border as a feature. You can also paint one wall a fun vibrant colour and have this as your accent wall. Or paint designs such as wide stripes a large checkerboard or polka dots on one wall. Detail Small accessories will add a personal touch and some fun. A pretty lamp or light shade. A simple bookshelf on the wall displayed with soft toys and some books makes a great feature. The bookshelf can be brought at a hardware store and painted white. Artworks add a great touch. Simple white frames from a discount homestore can be filled with family pictures or pattered scrapbook paper or fun wrapping paper. Striped or shaped rugs add some warmth and colour and can bring the whole area together. Letters in wood that spell out your child’s name can be positioned above the cot or get a whole lot of numbers and paint them and hang as a feature. I have decorated my son’s bedroom and helped countless friends out with their nurseries.  I always try to create a space that the child can relax in and grow into. Have fun with it, share ideas and don’t forget to ask for help from friends and family.

Parenting Hub

Having a Baby After Cancer

While having a baby after cancer is generally considered to be safe, there are special circumstances that can make it necessary for some couples to plan their pregnancies in advance. Along with other, more typical factors that can frustrate your attempts to become pregnant, common cancer treatments such as partial or total removal of the cervix, radiation therapy to the entire abdomen, radiation therapy for the testicles or uterus, and anthracycline chemotherapy can all play roles in determining how difficult conception and childbirth will ultimately be. Just what role those effects will play may depend on the age of the patient, but even if the treatments don’t cause permanent damage, it can still take years to fully recover. Fortunately, if you want to make sure you can still have a baby after cancer regardless of how the treatment affects you, modern technology has ensured that there are some excellent options that you can pursue in order to improve your chances of success. The Mandatory Waiting Period – Although there are no firmly established guidelines for exactly how long you should wait after your last cancer treatment to have a baby, it is usually recommended that women wait at least six months. During this time, any eggs that have been negatively affected by the cancer treatment are likely to leave the body. For both men and women, however, it is believed best to wait between two and five years before attempting to conceive. While there is no denying that this can be a heartbreakingly long time to parents eager to have a child, this broad estimate—starting from the time that all of the required treatments are received by the patient to the time when the patient tries to have a child—reflects just how difficult it can be for doctors to reliably assess the likelihood of the cancer recurring as well as for the patient to recover his or her previous reproductive virility. Getting Started – After a rough battle with any chronic illness, and especially after experiencing the terror of learning you have cancer, few things can be more uplifting than the anticipation and joy of childbirth. Yet, there are two risks that a woman should consider prior to conceiving: 1) what is her risk of cancer recurrence and 2) what is the risk of pregnancy increasing the chances of the cancer coming back? The latter is especially important for women who have hormonally driven cancers or cancers that require prolonged oral therapy. Fortunately, there are several options that will help any woman who has had cancer—even ones with the aforementioned risks—achieve the joy of parenthood. A cryobank is often the ideal solution for couples who are eager to get started on building their families right away. Both short and long-term embryo storage is available through cryobanks, as are egg and sperm banking services. Since the deposited sperm or eggs remain unaffected by the cancer treatments, aspiring parents can plan in advance for their pregnancies, whether choosing to wait until a full five years have passed or to proceed immediately after treatment. When sperm and eggs are collected prior to treatments, there is no fear of having them being negatively impacted. Ideally, when the sperm and eggs are collected prior to treatment, they would be collected as embryos versus as separate eggs and sperm. The reason this is ideal is because frozen embryos have a 15% to 30% improved chance of resulting in a healthy birth than that of frozen eggs or frozen sperm. If it is possible for couples to freeze embryos, then it is highly recommended that they do so instead of just banking frozen eggs and sperm. This extends even to women who may still be single prior to treatment, but know they want children in the future that are biologically theirs. They can freeze their eggs or even freeze embryos using a donor’s sperm for the future. While many couples will be able to conceive after freezing their embryos, not every couple is as fortunate. Yet, there are still options for them.  Couples who find that they cannot conceive after going through cancer treatment can seek out a surrogate to carry their child for them. It is important to note that couples seeking a surrogate should do careful research into the laws of surrogacy and the associated costs, which can be significant. Usually the couple is expected to cover the medical, legal and other reasonable expenses for the surrogate, which might include monetary compensation. It is recommended to pursue surrogacy through either an agency or through a lawyer to help the biological parents know their rights and keep the process as smooth as possible. Risk of the Child Having Cancer – Currently there is no evidence suggesting that a cancer diagnosis in the parent increases your child’s risk of getting cancer. The only time this should be a worry is if your cancer is genetically linked. If it is, then it is strongly recommended you meet with your doctor or a genetic counsellor to better understand your risk of passing those specific genes to your child. Yet even in these situations, there are still options.  For example, if you use in vitro fertilisation as your avenue to pregnancy, then you can screen your embryos for the cancer-causing gene to make sure you will not pass it on. When the unexpected occurs in life, people often have no choice but to make the best of what they are dealing with. Looking ahead to the creation of a healthy family unit is often a great way to promote positive emotions during a trying time. Fertility preservation can eliminate fears and reservations concerning some of the latest and more aggressive treatments, thereby supplying cancer patients with lasting peace of mind. Of all the many uncertainties that cancer survivors must wrestle with, the fear of not being able to produce or bear children should not be one of them.

Parenting Hub

Decorating your baby’s nursery

One of the enjoyable tasks involved with having a baby is planning and preparing a warm and welcoming space in your home for your new addition. However, when you add the concerns associated with pregnancy to the challenges of redecorating a room, it can be difficult to know just when to begin preparing that special room. You should consider several factors when determining when to begin decorating your baby’s nursery. The most important is time, for anything you do while you are pregnant. You need to be able to finish the decorating before your baby is born, which could be anywhere from a few weeks before your due date to a few days afterward. To be safe, plan to finish your decorating project before week 36 of your pregnancy. Although you may be bursting with ideas for the baby’s room, it is best to avoid purchasing items during the first trimester. Many mothers feel comfortable purchasing items and picking out paint colours once they are over this critical hump. The first trimester is a great time to look over your budget and determine what your spending allocation will be for the nursery, and to create a checklist of basic items you will need to purchase. Once you are past the first trimester, all those big plans in your head can begin to be realized. Many parents begin by choosing a theme for the nursery. Bedding can be a source of inspiration for paint colour and furniture type. So when can you begin? Determining when to begin decorating your baby’s nursery depends on your chosen theme. If you have chosen a gender-specific nursery theme, you have to wait to begin decorating until after your medical team can determine your baby’s sex through an ultrasound. This can usually be done between 20 and 28 weeks of pregnancy. Needless to say, this narrows down the window of time you can spend decorating the nursery considerably if you want it to be finished before the baby arrives. One way to avoid having to rush through decorating is to choose a neutral colour for the walls and floor of your baby’s room. Then, when you know whether your baby will be a boy or girl, you can add gender-specific items, such as wall hangings, bedding or throw rugs, to the room to make it special. For those with tight budgets, begin purchasing nursery items as soon as you can. Consider that some of the items found in the nursery include a cot, bedding, a chest of drawers, a changing area and a feeding chair. Plan on having your completed nursery done about six weeks before your due date. Have the nursery entirely set up at least a month before your due date, just in case baby decides to make an early entry into the world. The first item to purchase should be paint. It is best to get the painting done while the nursery is empty. Once you start to fill the room with furniture, painting becomes more complicated and can involve moving large items around. Another important consideration is the safety of mom and baby. The mother-to-be should not be moving furniture or painting in enclosed areas. Be sure that your plans include a helper. Painting on ladders and moving furniture should be avoided. If you and your significant other or helper have busy schedules, be sure to set aside days to do these activities together. Shopping for one baby is stressful enough, but if you are expecting twins, it is even more difficult. Most parents may feel the urge to simply buy two of everything. This is not always the case. There are some simple rules to keep in mind when shopping for your newborn twins.Decide which items the twins can share Start with the most important furniture items- 2 x cots (although in the first few months, the babies will share a cot, they grow very quickly, and once able to roll, can begin to disturb each other, and when you realise this, and it becomes problematic, you no longer have a waiting time available to allow for manufacture), 1 x compactum- it is NOT necessary to purchase 2 x compactums, as you cannot stand at 2 units at the same time. A good quality, comfortable feeding chair, and shelving should be considered. The Chad cots (available at dream furniture) are ideal, as there are no gaps, and if the middle rails are lowered, the babies can then climb in and out of each other’s cots when it is “awake time”, however, they can also be separated from each other when it is “sleep time”. Designing your baby’s nursery needn’t be a stressful time, with the correct knowledge and planning, turning your baby’s nursery from drab to fab can be as easy as 1 2 3!

Tabitha

What is HELLP Syndrome?

Ruby was born at 30 weeks gestation via emergency caesarean and was a tiny 1044 grams at birth. She suffered from tachycardias (when the heart beats over 100 bpm) and was given caffeine to help prevent bradycardias (when the heart beats under 60 bpm). Ruby was required to be on a continuous positive air pressure (CPAP) machine to keep her airways open. She had jaundice, requiring phototherapy several times and suffered from continual apnoea episodes throughout her stay in the neonatal intensive care unit. Due to being intubated, Ruby developed an oral aversion so in turn she came home with a nasal gastric tube. Her hospital stay was 10 weeks in total. So why did all of this have to happen to Ruby? The answer is because I developed a life threatening and rare complication called HELLP syndrome. My kidneys and liver were failing. I was at risk of seizures and there was a chance that I may lose my life. Ruby was at risk of losing hers before it had even began. HELLP stands for H (hemolysis, which is the breaking down of red blood cells), EL (elevated liver enzymes) and LP (low platelet count). The most reported symptoms of HELLP syndrome are the following; Headache Nausea and/or vomiting Visual disturbances Swelling High blood pressure Epigastric tenderness and upper right quadrant pain (from liver distention) Protein in the urine Ruby is now 16 months old. She continues to have issues with her feeding, causing her weight gain to be slow. Ruby also has experienced hypersensitivity, which has caused her some distress in social situations. The experts said that Ruby would grow to be a strong person, and she has proven that. They said she may have issues with her sight and hearing… Apart from the earlier hearing tests, Ruby has blitzed every test since. They said she might struggle with feeding… And that she has. However, Ruby surprised us recently and moved onto ‘soft lumps’ from her normally pureed foods. They said we may come across issues with Ruby’s brain development due to her prematurity… And so far we have seen none. Ruby is one clever little girl. She is clapping, ‘high fiving’ everyone and playing peek-a-boo just like all of the other 16 month olds. They said that Ruby would be smaller than most other kids her age… She is smaller yet just as capable. They said she would be 18 months old before she took her first step … And now Ruby is walking, months ahead of when she was expected to take that first step. They also said that Ruby would rise up and beat her obstacles like many of her premature peers… And that she continues to do each and every day. It is so easy to forget how precious it is to be alive. Help us raise awareness of HELLP syndrome. Visit www.facebook.com/littlemiraclebook. There you will find details about a 100% non-profit book I wrote for children that began life in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). ‘Little Miracle’ is a heartwarming children’s book that journeys through the ups and downs of a NICU experience. It is a tale of how nothing, not even separation, can break the bond between a mother and her precious child. All proceeds are going to charities that share my vision of HELLP syndrome awareness.

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