Pregnancy & Baby - Parenting Hub

To Chiro Or Not To Chiro

By Dr. Nicole Louw MTech Chiropractic (UJ) MCASA Is chiropractic safe for my children? Why should my child get checked, she feels fine? You have your children’s teeth checked, and most schools do an eye and hearing exam yearly, so why don’t you have regular health check ups? Children’s bodies are physically weaker than adults, so they have a better chance of experiencing spinal subluxations (a vertebrae out of place that is pinching a nerve and causing problems) while doing every day activities. Why wait till your child is sick to bring them into the chiropractor? Subluxations can exist for a long time without causing any pain, but deficiencies in other areas, while they may not be noticeable, may be present the entire time. Let’s start from the beginning. The very beginning, before your child is even born. You should be receiving spinal checkups as often as weight check ups. Subluxations cause uneven blood flow to parts of your body, including the uterus. If your baby isn’t getting enough blood, they may not be getting enough oxygen, which is more important during the development process than you think. Lack of oxygen to the uterus can cause several complications early in infancy, which could lead to such tragic events as SIDS. Next we’ll look at when the baby is born. A newborn’s spine can be twisted and turned from birth. As hard as labor is on the mother, think of how hard it is on the baby! Abraham Towbin, MD states: “The birth process…is potentially a traumatic, crippling event… mechanical stress imposed on obstetrical manipulation—even the application of standard orthodox procedures may prove intolerable to the foetus…most signs of neonatal injury observed in the delivery room are neurological…” Now, we’ll look at the infants first week. Research is ongoing, and with each study done, more and more credit is being given to chiropractic health care in the importance of the health of children. In a study done on 1,250 infants who were examined five days after birth, 211 of them were experiencing vomiting, hyperactivity, and sleeplessness, and subluxations were found in 95% of them. The researchers in this study were all Medical Doctors (MD’s) and they all recognised the power of chiropractic. The babies were given the spinal care they needed, and it worked. The researchers (remember, these are MD’s we’re talking about) noted that the spinal adjustment resulted in “immediate quieting, cessation of crying, and muscular relaxation and sleepiness.” Chiropractic and Colic Colic. One of the worst words a parent of a newborn can hear. Your baby cries for hours on end and there is nothing you can do about it. What’s worse than the disturbing, high pitched screaming that doesn’t stop and has no apparent cause, is the fact that there is nothing you can do to help your child when it sounds like they need help the most. It’s heartbreaking to hear your baby screaming like it’s in pain, and being able to do nothing about it. Well, almost nothing. This is where chiropractic comes in. If your baby experienced a longer pushing stage, or any type of assisted delivery (i.e. – forceps, vacuum, etc.) there is a good chance that they have subluxations. Babies with significant enough subluxations, or subluxations in certain areas, may have big problems, and they can’t tell you about them. Because of these subluxations, major systems in the body may not function correctly, such as the digestive system, and your baby may not be able to digest breast milk like he or she should, possibly causing gas and bloating. The flexed legs, clenched fists, and tensed abdominal muscles point to a pain in the abdominal region, but that hasn’t been proven. What has been proven, however, is that chiropractic adjustments can work. Medical doctors (those you would find at a hospital) may prescribe dimethicone drops, or gas drops, that are the standard, and vastly ineffective treatment. Others may say it’s a sensitivity to breast milk and may advise providing a lactose-free milk, which has also proven to be ineffective. Studies done at the University of Southern Denmark have reported that colicky babies who received chiropractic care cried far less than those receiving the standard gas drops prescribed by medical doctors. This study was done on behalf of the National Health Service, and found chiropractic to have no negative side effects on infants, which is “standard” for chiropractic! Another study was done in South Africa, by Mercer and Cook. In this study, 30 infants who were medically diagnosed as having colic, were randomly divided into two groups. One group received chiropractic care while the other did not. Each infant in the study was 0-8 weeks old and diagnosed with colic by a paediatrician. For this study, the group who received chiropractic care received it for two weeks with a six adjustment maximum. The results were impressive. In the group who received chiropractic care, 93% had completely resolved symptoms in just the two week period. A little shorter than the “wait 3 months for it to run its course” plan that most medical doctors will tell you. Something even more impressive was the one month follow up assessment. The infants who received chiropractic care had seen no symptoms one month after receiving chiropractic care. For those of you who don’t feel comfortable relying on studies done in different countries (although much medical research comes from other countries), here is one from the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics. It is a randomised clinical trial published in 1999, and in this study, researchers assigned infants diagnosed with colic into two groups, one to receive chiropractic care for two weeks and the other to receive the popular (and basically ineffective) anti-gas medication dimethicone for two weeks. The babies receiving chiropractic treatment showed a decrease of 68% in crying, while the other group only showed a decrease of 38%. Chiropractic care is a conservative, gentle, and very successful option for treating infants with colic. Chiropractic adjustments for infants are specific, gentle, and safe. In the hands of an experienced chiropractor, many infants sleep right through the adjustment. An infant adjustment utilises no more pressure than someone applying make up to their face. Next time you are told “there is nothing you can do except wait it out,” just smile, nod, and bring your child right to the chiropractor, because a healthy baby makes a happy home.

November 10, 2015

Quick Tips For Storing Breast Milk

Express breast milk, using a manual or electric breast pump. Wash your hands well with soap and water before handling the pre-sterilised bag. Mark each bag with the date and time when you expressed the milk. Tear open the bag horizontally along the perforated edge at the top, in the direction of the arrowhead. Hold the opened bag with one hand and use the other hand to pour the freshly expressed breast milk into the bag slowly, not filling the bag beyond 150ml. Before sealing the bag, squeeze out the air and use your fingers to zip close the bag. For best results, keep the bag upright, in a separate hard sided container until the milk has frozen. Store breast milk bag in the back of the fridge for 24 hours or back of freezer for 3 months. How do I thaw frozen breast milk? Always thaw/defrost the oldest breast milk first. Check the date and time written on each bag. Thaw the frozen milk overnight in the fridge, or, for immediate use, immerse the bag in warm (not hot) water until the milk is fully defrosted. Pour the milk into a sterilised feeding bottle, feeding cup or spoon. Never thaw frozen milk at room temperature, as this will enable bacteria to multiply in the milk. Never thaw breast milk in a microwave oven or boiling water. This will reduce the milk’s nutrients. Only warm the milk after it has been thawed/defrosted. Thawed milk can be stored in a fridge for up to 24 hours. Discard any remaining milk. Don’t refreeze thawed or partially thawed breast milk. Pre-sterilised, sealable storage bags In the first few days after delivery, breasts can become engorged with excess milk and mothers may find it convenient to express and store their breast milk for later use. But some of the storage products on the market are very expensive and it is not a viable option for everyone.

November 5, 2015

What NOT to Buy Or Add To Your Baby Registry

I have shopped for two failed adoptions and my baby so you could say I have had some experience with shopping for a baby. Excitement can quickly lead to buyer’s remorse and your house full of crap. Mothers are a marketing executive dreams. They know just how to make you feel like your child will miss out without their product. I am also pretty sure no new mum will listen to any of this… A HUGE pram Prams are like cars. We want the coolest looking one that looks like a little baby hotel for our precious. Now baby is here and you realise that lovely pram with all the extras weighs as much as a smart car and you need to be a Sumo wrestler to put the pram in your boot. That’s if it even fits. What to get instead: There are some great lightweight pushchairs that are suitable from birth reclines to almost flat. If you really must just get the all frills baby hotel buy it second hand . Baby bath They will outgrow this so fast that it’s not worth the bother and just another thing you need to list on Gumtree or fill up the space where your car is supposed to be. What to get instead: Purchase an inexpensive bath support or get into the bath with the baby providing additional bonding time with your newborn. Nappy bin This special bin that deals with stinky nappies is a coveted item for most expectant mothers. I was no exception. I was ready to sign a community property contact with my bad boy. I am convinced this is a clever marketing tool to suck you into buying ridiculously expensive cartridge refills. Just like drug dealers Marketers Know the real money is in the come-back. What to get instead: Scented nappy packets and a simple lidded nappy bucket will do the trick. If you must have one, You can have mine. Changing table You will end up changing your baby on the bed and everywhere else with a changing mat within the first three months. Been there done that got the t-shirt! Baby shoes Kennedy had 15 pairs of adorable shoes. Some were designer shoes and she couldn’t even walk yet. Do you think Kennedy gave a monkeys that they cost more than any shoes I have ever owned… nope. She fussed so much every time I put them on. What to get instead: Socks are enough. She is 14 months and only recently stopped kicking off her shoes. Lots of newborn sized clothes At this point I am starting to sound like a buzz kill. This is all the fun about being pregnant. The ooh-ing and aah-ing at those teeny little money wasters. Marketing execs know how much we want a mini-me. Why do you think a newborn can now wear skinny jeans and leather jackets? What to get instead: Wait for the gifts and then wait till your baby can walk before making them tiny trendsetters. Baby growers is all they need until then. Bottle warmer Ugh. Just run the bottles under hot water already! What to get instead: nothing. A cot bumper Something about having a baby makes us mothers have a penchant for matching items… that is the lure. A tiny duvet with the tiny pillow just doesn’t seem enough of a set. I still can’t understand why these are actually still being sold. The second you hear about SIDS (and for every paranoid second thereafter), it’s game over for these little death traps. I have yet to find a parenting or medical site that has anything good to say about bumpers. Just another thing for you to wash. What to get instead: nothing. Tons of toys for a tiny baby Newborns don’t need them and will spend most of their time sleeping, feeding and gazing at you! If you really do need stuffed animals you can come to my house and collect these dust collectors. What to get instead: After three months I would get a few noisemakers and then add once they crawling and can actually interact with your surroundings. Newborn-sized feeding bottles Baby feeding bottles in a smaller size designed for newborns become useless in very little time. What to get instead: Normal size bottles 260ml and buy a few slow release teats if you need to. Scaled-down Baby Wardrobe Let’s just be honest here…they will not be willing to or able to hang their own clothing until they can reach a normal sized one anyway. What to get instead: Normal-sized bedroom furniture and add a small step stool for higher shelves once they are older. Baby Cartoon curtains and wallpaper Just don’t it! I promise your baby will not complain that their nursery was not cute enough. If you can’t imagine the design on the wall of a six-year-olds bedroom, It’s a waste! What to get instead: An age-neutral design for anything expensive is a good idea and add ‘baby appeal’ with removable pictures and accessories.

November 3, 2015

Colic – Transient Lactase Deficiency

It can be incredibly distressing to hear your baby crying endlessly with colic, yet feel unable to stop it. Colic is defined as repeated episodes of excessive and inconsolable crying for at least 3 hours per day, at least 3 days per week. The condition can affect between 5 to 20% of babies typically starting in the first weeks of life and tends to resolve by three to four months. It is generally unknown what causes colic. One possible cause, which has been researched, is a transient lactase deficiency which may occur due to some babies being born with an immature digestive system. A deficiency of lactase enzyme in the small intestine results in the inability of the body to fully digest the milk-sugar lactose. This causes undigested lactose in milk to be broken down by bacterial activity in the bowel which can result in severe discomfort, bloatedness and wind. By the time the baby is 3 to 4 months old their digestive system usually develops sufficiently to produce adequate levels of lactase enzyme. Research at Cork University Hospital in the early 1990s demonstrated that a lactase-reduced feed was effective in reducing infant colic and the hours of crying. This was presented to the Royal College of Paediatricians and confirmed in a larger study completed at Guys Hospital, England and published in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics in October 2001. Essentially, drops containing lactase, an enzyme which occurs naturally within the body, are added to the feed and work by breaking down most of the lactose in the baby’s usual milk before the baby is fed, making the feed more digestible. The drops can be added either to some expressed breast milk or with infant formula. If the baby is lactase deficient a real benefit is that the colic symptoms are prevented rather than trying to treat the symptoms in a stressful situation. Colief infant drops, the lactase drops, used in these trials are available in South Africa. For some mothers these drops may help facilitate continued breastfeeding and save having to switch to special formula milks. The drops are used until the baby is approximately three to four months old, by which time their digestive system will be producing their own lactase enzyme and the symptoms of colic should have disappeared. For more information: http://www.skymedsa.co.za/colief-infant-drops-scalp-oil-vitamin-d-drops email: [email protected]

September 25, 2015

Health Benefits Of Breastfeeding

Becoming a new mom is an exciting time, but can also be daunting as you make numerous decisions before the big arrival. Of course, one of these is breastfeeding! Advice comes from loved ones, doctors, strangers and, of course, Google. Ultimately however, you have to make the best decision for yourself and the new addition. With that, comes the need to understand the benefits of breastfeeding as well as how you can incorporate breastfeeding into your life so that… well, you still have one! Health and emotional benefits Breastfeeding is proven to provide many health benefits. In fact, benefits of breastfeeding extend well beyond basic nutrition. In addition to containing all the vitamins and nutrients your baby needs in the first 6 months of life, breast milk is packed with disease-fighting substances that provide defence against illnesses and allergies. In pre-term babies, breastfeeding can not only reduce the risk of inflammation and infection in the tummy, but also protect them from infection. For full-term babies, it reduces the risk of stomach bugs, coughs and colds as well as middle-ear infections. Additionally, breast milk may also help children avoid a host of diseases that strike later in life such as eczema, diabetes and childhood leukaemia. In addition to the nutritional advantages, breastfeeding also provides health and emotional benefits to you as it helps the womb return to its normal size, while reducing the risk of ovarian and breast cancer, as well as osteoporosis. From the emotional side, breastfeeding also helps you maintain the close relationship that you have built with your baby. In fact, especially when you return to work, breastfeeding can help you deal with the separation emotionally as you continue to nurture and provide for your child as only you can. Mothers who are unhappy about being separated from their baby have found that continuing to breastfeed has helped them to cope better emotionally. Being separated from your baby for any length of time can be traumatic. In many cases, working moms experience separation anxiety when they first returned to work. Getting back to ‘normal life’ Most mothers return to work simply because they feel they have to. Whether it is by choice or necessity, working mothers need any help they can get when trying to juggle work and being a full time mom. Some moms feel like they are pressured into breastfeeding and that their lives are on hold while this happens. The good news, though, is that there are options available today that ensure you can experience the true bond that breastfeeding offers while ‘sharing the responsibility’ with your spouse. There are many ways in which breastfeeding can occur alongside going back to work. If there is a workplace crèche or some form of child care nearby, you could visit your baby during the day. If you cannot visit your baby during the day or bring him/her into work with you, there are products such as breast pumps that can allow you to express milk, milk storage containers that enable you to store your milk for up to 5 days and milk warmers keeping the milk at the right temperature when needed. This gives you the freedom you want without the guilt – while involving the dads in this important task. Expressing for convenience Expressing breast milk ensures your baby always gets the very best in nutritional feeding while giving you more flexibility. You may be going back to work, your partner might like to be more involved in feeding your little one, or you may just want to treat yourself to a long overdue rest – or night out. Additionally, there may be times when your breasts feel full and uncomfortable, but your baby isn’t ready to feed yet. That’s when using a pump can give you some relief. Later, once you’re up and running with breastfeeding, expressing can help to build your milk supply, along with your baby suckling. You’ll then have a store of milk handy for when you need it. Expressing breast milk is really easy with practice, although it’s best to wait four to six weeks after the birth to let breastfeeding become established before you start – unless a healthcare professional recommends otherwise. However, just as breastfeeding is a skill that needs practice, so is expressing breast milk. It is worthwhile to practice at home before you actually go back to work. It is also a good idea to have a pump so that you can store up some milk before you go back to work so that you have supplies on hand before you start working – just in case. How often you should pump also depends on a few factors. Do you intend to pump enough during the day for the baby to have exclusive breast milk the following day? If you want your baby to drink breast milk alone then it is a good idea to empty your breasts about as often as your baby feeds. However if you can’t pump as often as your baby feeds, you shouldn’t stop nursing altogether. Some workplaces are just not conducive to pumping. This doesn’t automatically mean that you your milk will dry up. Pumping just once a day will give you some stimulation, stop you from becoming engorged, and help maintain your supply. Arm yourself with info Bringing a child into this world is certainly an exciting time, but it can also be daunting. Arming yourself with as much information as possible is critical at every point – including breastfeeding. A lack of information can lead to misguided views and choices – so never be too scared to ask! Equip yourself with the knowledge and know-how when it comes to breastfeeding, as well as the benefits and options that are available so that you can make the best decision for you and your family.

August 14, 2015

HYPERTENSION AND YOUR PREGNANCY

Embarking on the journey of motherhood should be a pleasurable and memorable experience. For many women though, pregnancy can be overshadowed by hypertension, also known as high blood pressure. Uncontrolled high blood pressure prior to pregnancy or high blood pressure developed during pregnancy poses a risk to both mother and unborn baby. I n this article we would like to make all future and expectant moms aware of these dangers and provide you with lifesaving tips on how to prevent high blood pressure from casting a shadow over this momentous time. High blood pressure can affect an expectant mother in two ways: She might have existing high blood pressure prior to becoming pregnant, or …. High blood pressure may develop in the second half of pregnancy. When high blood pressure is accompanied by protein in the urine, and swollen ankles, fingers and face; it is particularly serious and is called pre-eclampsia. F or both types of high blood pressure in pregnancy, if it is not detected and then controlled, it can cause low birth weight or require early delivery of the baby. High blood pressure and especially pre-eclampsia can furthermore be very harmful to the mother as well, by causing seizures, damaging the kidneys, liver and brain and increasing the risk of stroke. The good news is that early detection and control of high blood pressure and close monitoring of the mom and baby can ensure a safe and happy pregnancy. There are certain factors that can put one at an increased risk of high blood pressure during pregnancy. Factors include high blood pressure during a previous pregnancy, obesity, being under the age of 20 years and over the age of 40 years, having diabetes and other chronic illnesses, and being pregnant with more than one baby. Women with any of these factors should be especially vigilant. Severe headaches and visual disturbances are warning signs that require an urgent visit to your doctor or clinic. How can women with existing high blood pressure prevent problems during pregnancy? Firstly, it is important to control your blood pressure, and speak to your doctor or nurse when thinking about falling pregnant. Discuss with your doctor how high blood pressure might affect you or your baby and how to adapt or change any current blood pressure medication. Continue to monitor blood pressure regularly throughout your pregnancy as advised by your doctor or clinic. Ensure that you are eating healthily, limiting salt intake, being active and avoiding alcohol or tobacco products. In addition, taking calcium supplementation can prevent pre-eclampsia. How can women be sure not to get high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia during pregnancy? Regular visits to the doctor or clinic are important to ensure a safe pregnancy. For a healthy pregnancy one should: First and foremost ensure that you are in the best possible health before thinking of falling pregnant; including managing a healthy weight, being physically active and not smoking. Get early and regular care from a doctor. Follow all the doctor’s recommendations. Do what you can to help manage blood pressure. Eat a healthy diet including plenty of fruit and vegetable, daily dairy, and limit intake of salt and salty foods. Take a calcium supplement as advised and directed by your doctor. High blood pressure has no symptoms or warning signs, therefore checking blood pressure regularly throughout pregnancy and beyond is important to monitor the health and well-being of mom and baby. We would therefore like to encourage all women to know their numbers by visiting their nearest clinic, GP practice, nearest pharmacy or obstetrician to get their blood pressure checked.

August 10, 2015

The First Glimpse

My nerves were so high I broke out in hives, I couldn’t think straight. I was struggling to sleep until eventually substituting to crying myself to sleep. This was the last time I would feel you moving and kicking your way around in my tummy. It was the most bitter-sweet emotion. I was physically ready but my emotions were far from prepared. The day arrived, waking up, I put my make up on, brushed my teeth, just like every other day, but knowing this day was going to change my life forever, it felt so dissimilar, everything I did, every reoccurring daily routine was like doing it for the first time. I felt lost. On the way to the hospital I took notice of more than I had ever before. Almost as if I had a sense I had always been unaware of. I was overwhelmed at the idea that I was about to become a Mother, I was about the meet this little boy that I had been waiting months to meet. Our moment that I had been dreaming about was about to become a reality. The sweet little eyes I had been trying to place a picture of in my head would finally see the world. It was finally our moment. I booked myself in and as they began hooking me up to the monitors and taking blood tests, everything became surreal. They began explaining the procedures and preparing me for one of the most intense moments of my life. It was time to meet you. Finally. I was ready. Filled with mixed emotions, they wheeled me into theatre. They began with the spinal block, it worked quickly and as I was placed on the operating table, my body was ready to bring you into this world. I felt the tugging, and I heard the sounds. The sound and smell of burning skin, the doctors casually talking about their holiday with the effort to distract me, and the song playing in the background was all I could hear, I tried to remain focused. The assistant whispered in my ear asking me if I was ready, she explained they would put pressure on my stomach and the doctor would remove him from the tiny incision he had made in my lower stomach. The sound of her voice was so intense, it was as if hearing something pertaining to life and death. It made my emotions rush in fast, it went quiet. I closed my eyes and all I could hear was my heart beat. Focus Leigh. He is he almost here. Suddenly the sound of suctions and struggle became blatant, I couldn’t see what was going beyond the sheets, but I could hear you. You let out a little cry, and the doctor finally said, “Here he comes” They lifted you for a split second to give me a glimpse of your beautiful face, for what felt like hours, I reveled in the most breath-taking sight of you, your wrinkly expression and eyes so dark I could see right into your innocent soul. The sound of your boisterous cry is one of the freshest and fondest memories I have and I can still remember the sweet smell of you. The next hour felt like a life time, in recovery all I could think of was you and how I craved to have you in my grasp, to hold you, look into your eyes and whisper sweetly how much I already loved you. They placed you in my arms, and there it was, you looked at me. You looked into my soul. This love was deep. It was considered more than I could bare. Everything I thought I knew, everything I had planned, the ideas I had created in my mind and how it would feel to meet you for the first time, it had all dissipated. The knowledge I thought I had, had become worthless. I knew from that moment that this was it. This was our moment, and for a moment, in all the chaos around us, it was only you and I in that room and then, you blinked almost as if you agreed, and nothing could stop us. On this day, a life long bond was formed. I gave birth to you, even if by Caesarean Section, an operation which in no way is considered to be natural, you became my son. No matter my decision on how to bring you into this world, that made me a Mother, a privilege that fills my heart with a paramount of gratitude, daily.

June 24, 2015

Down Syndrome Awareness

Children with Down syndrome are keen to be social and their interactive communication skills (the ability to understand and participate in conversations) are good. This strength should be recognized and every effort made to enable them to communicate in all the settings that they are in at home and at school. Increasing the quantity and quality of everyday communication experience for children with Down syndrome is an important intervention (Buckley, S. 2000:27). The following ideas and activities may enhance and develop language skills: Talk to your children – they understand more than they can say. Talk about what your children are doing and their experiences. Expand what your children are saying by repeating and elaborating on their sentences. e.g. If the child is saying “Dog sit”, you say, “The dog is sitting”. Follow your child’s lead in communication settings – this includes active listening and it may encourage more communication from your child. Incorporate all the senses when you teach your children new concepts, e.g. let them: listen to, look at, feel, taste and smell an object. Signing could be a useful tool which may allow more effective communication and less frustration. Musical activities may be beneficial: The repetitive, fun and engaging elements of music and musical activities, such as singing songs, rhythm and experimenting with musical instruments may also enhance and develop memory and attention qualities. Visual learning activities may support language learning and comprehension skills. For example: Playing language games where words are printed on cards. This could also help with learning individual words and their meanings. Reading books and pictures – an interactive and enriching activity for all! Time well spent and definitely one of the most valuable sources of language development. Most children with Down syndrome understand more language than their expressive language skills suggest and therefore their understanding may, very often, be underestimated. This means that their social interactive skills and non-verbal communication skills may be seen as areas of strength (Buckley, S. & Bird, G. 2001:5). However, facial muscle tone, articulation and phonology may need specific attention and support. The following activities may prove to be beneficial and help with speech production: Blowing bubbles or any other blowing activities (for example: blow balls and bubble fun). Create pictures by blowing paint over paper with a short straw. Blow up balloons. Blow whistles. Play Blow Soccer by using a rolled up ball of aluminum foil / a cotton ball on the floor or on a table. Sucking activities – use straws and vary the thickness of the straws. Licking an ice-cream. (Please be careful of allergies / intolerances) Spread peanut-butter on lips, the child can lick it off. (Please be careful of allergies/ intolerances) “They might be a little slower, but that also slows life down for everybody around them.” – Joshua Tillotson, father of Down Syndrome twins.

June 19, 2015

Establishing A Good Sleep Routine

Feeling jaded and sleep deprived? You are in good company. Less than half of all babies sleep through before the toddler years and even if they do, sleep issues can raise their ugly head at any time. Sleep problems need to be addressed because not only do you feel bad, sleep deprivation is not good for your baby either. The importance of sleep Sleep is important for your little one because it is healing for his body and mind. During a long period of unbroken sleep, your baby will cycle from light sleep to deep sleep and back many times. When in the light sleep state he will dream and his amazing brain processes and lays down memories of the experiences he had during the day. This sleep state is surmised to be essential for memory and learning. Deep sleep is just as important for development because during this sleep state, your baby sorts the important information from the day from the irrelevant. The superfluous synapses are literally pruned and connections that are not commonly used are severed, freeing up energy and brain connections for more useful function. Establishing a good sleep routine One way to guide your baby into better sleep habits is to establish a sleep routine. The key to routines is that they need to be flexible and age appropriate. There are three steps to setting up a sleep routine effectively: Follow age appropriate awake times for your baby All babies have age related optimal awake times – intervals in which your little one can be happily awake. During this time he will be content and interactive, learning from his environment. If your baby is kept awake for longer than his ideal awake time, he will become needy, easily over stimulated and generally irritable. In addition to this he will not naturally fall into a sleepy state and thus will be more difficult to get to sleep. The easiest way to get your baby into a routine is to make sure you settle him to sleep as when his age appropriate ‘Awake Time’ is up (See table for age appropriate Awake times). Take note of the time your baby and then make sure to watch that he goes down according to his ‘Awake times’. Read your baby’s signals for tiredness In addition to watching the ‘Awake Time’, you should observe your baby’s individual signals. Signals that your baby is tired may include rubbing eyes, sucking hands, touching ears, looking into space, drowsy eyes or many other self-soothing strategies. When your baby shows the signs of drowsiness, he should be put down to sleep. Settle your baby with sleep cues Use soothing strategies to shift your baby into a drowsy state before putting him in the cot, such as dimming the lights or drawing the blinds; giving a feed, if this is helpful to settle him (such as before bedtime); a soothing massage for older babies and swaddling for little ones works a wonder; rocking your little one until he is drowsy. Once drowsy, put your little one in the cot so that he puts the last piece of the puzzle together for himself – self-soothing to sleep. Importance of self-soothing Newborns are unable to self-sooth effectively, which is why you may have found yourself rocking, patting and lulling your newborn to sleep. However, we do know that as your baby gets towards 4 months of age, he has the innate ability to access self-soothing strategies, such as sucking his hand, sucking a dummy, holding a ‘sleep lovey’ such as a bear or Taglet, or to simply hum to sleep. If this natural ability is allowed to develop, without too much interference, you will have a good sleeper. Where new parents frequently go wrong is by creating dependence and habits around sleep time, such as rocking a six month old to sleep or feeding a toddler at night. Try from around 4 months to give your little one the space and time to self sooth – do not let him cry or become distressed, but if he is moaning to sleep, support him to find his blanky or thumb and to access self soothing strategies independently. While getting a full night’s sleep may feel like a search for the holy grail, it is achievable, with simple strategies such as watching the awake times, your baby will settle into an age appropriate sleep routine.

June 8, 2015

Five Best Markets For Kids

Make the most of Summer – Winter is on its way! Visiting local markets is a great way to spend weekend days and they’re all the rage right now. It’s the perfect way to get the whole family out the house and the delicious food and fresh produce is a real draw card for parents. We’ve put together a list of our best family market picks in Joburg, Cape Town and Durban. Johannesburg Fourways Farmers Market Opening hours: Sunday, 10am-3pm http://www.ffmarket.co.za/ With lots of seating space and more than 61 vendor stalls this is your one-stop-Sunday-morning-market-shop. Relax on hay bales under tall pine trees enjoying delicious market food and live music – there’s even champagne by the glass. Also located on the premises is the Aroma Café (hyperlink) which boasts a buffet breakfast, a beautiful playground and a kiddies’ menu. Bryanston Organic & Natural Market Opening hours: Thursdays, Saturdays and public holidays, 9am-3pm http://www.bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za/ Organic and natural food is the cornerstone of this market that offers a great variety of foods particularly for allergies and special dietary needs. A huge appeal for families is the Kids Quarter where children can enjoy craft activities, including candle dipping, sand art and a gemstone scratch-patch. Cape Town Tokai Forest Market Opening hours: Saturday, 9am-2pm http://tokaiforestmarket.co.za/ Spend the morning browsing the beautiful Tokai market whilst enjoying the freshest artisanal coffee. The market boasts a jumping castle, jungle gym and pony rides. Coming soon are cooking demos and game afternoons. Organjezicht City Farm Opening hours: Saturday, 9AM – 2PM http://www.ozcf.co.za/market-day/ This organic foodie’s paradise has temporarily moved to the historic Leeuvenhof estate. Bring your picnic blankets, kids and dogs and enjoy a morning of delicious fresh produce. Explore the beautiful the estate and even take a dip in the premier’s pool! Durban Golden Hours Family Market Opening Hours: Sunday, 10am-3.30pm https://www.facebook.com/pages/GOLDEN-HOURS-FAMILY-MARKET/121337227882 Spend a Sunday at this kiddies’ market paradise complete with an exciting play area and activities for kids of all ages. Expect the freshest produce and traditional homemade goodies. The Litchi Orchard Opening hours: The 2nd Saturday of every month, 9AM – 2PM http://www.litchiorchard.co.za/market/ This beautiful market venue on Durban’s north coast, combines top class food and drink with loads of open space for the kids (and dogs) to enjoy. Keep a look out for the playful resident mongooses.

May 8, 2015

Rock Around The Clock Tonight: Braving Sleep Training

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.” Baz Lurhmann: Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen) When I moved to Jozi as a grad in 2003, I wound up in sales (recruitment). My boyfriend (now husband) had many years of sales experiences under his belt and gave me a piece of advice he’d picked up on a training course: “Clients/ customers only buy goods or services when they feel pain.” In the months following the departure of my first child’s night nurse, I realised that this was how I had come to view sleep training. It was something I knew I probably needed to buy into at some stage. Although I was in pain every time we had a bad night, the agony wasn’t consistent enough for me to attempt sleep training. The idea of sleep training was something I instinctively experienced as a kind of physical fear: the terrorised crying, the guilt of abandoning your helpless infant, the fear of inflicting permanent psychological damage, the self-doubt as to whether the child might be physically ill… it all just seemed too barbaric a concept for me to face. And, in a nutshell, too hard, really. It somehow felt easier to just suffer through four hours of rocking my child and begging her to sleep every three or four nights. Because in between those hellish nights, she’d mostly sleep through and I’d have a chance to recover – physically and emotionally. But when my daughter, Chiara, was 15 months old, something cracked. We just had too many three or four hour stints where I could not, for love or money, get her back to sleep in the middle of the night. (To this day, I don’t know why she sometimes woke up, but I do know that she had no idea how to put herself back to sleep because she had never been given the opportunity to learn that skill). A few hours cradling a baby in an armchair in the middle of the night might not sound like the worst thing on earth – especially if you have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom in privileged South Africa. But there is something absolutely soul destroying about the experience when you are going through it. I repeat: soul destroying. Perhaps you have to have experienced it yourself to know what I mean… I’m glad I finally reached rock bottom because I would not have had the determination to attempt sleep training otherwise. A few months earlier, I’d had lunch with a friend who was regularly spending an hour and a half putting her one year old to bed. She wasn’t pushy or evangelical at all on the topic but merely stated that sleep training had “changed their lives”. She described how, after the training, her daughter would point to her cot after only a few minutes. It seemed almost too good to be true and I wasn’t ready to put her advice into practice, but I secretly fantasized about a child who pointed at her cot. So, when I was ready (read absolutely desperate and in emotional pain), I emailed my friend and asked her for her “method” for Project Sleep Training. To date, at 15 months old, Chiara, had only ever been rocked to sleep, pushed to sleep or fallen asleep on her nanny’s back or in a moving car. My mother-in-law first mentioned “putting her down awake” when she was six months old. I’d never heard of such a crazy concept in my life and I though my mother-in-law was mad. It was only later that the information started to sink in… My friend’s method was gleaned from a range of online sources and she explained it to me in simple terms: Put baby in cot (yes, awake! Imagine?) Leave room Time three minutes on your phone If s/he is still crying after three minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time four minutes on your phone If the baby is still crying after four minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time five minutes on your phone… The next day, you start by leaving the baby for four minutes, then five, then six etc. You’ll be surprised at how fast these kids catch on… For me, sleep training was indeed life changing. It took about two or three days of applying the above method by the book before my daughter got the message. I never experienced another night of being up for two to four hours on the trot – which had previously happened about three times a week. Of course if your baby isn’t completely well, sleep training is not a good idea. Rather wait till you feel confident that your child is healthy. As for teething, it can be hellish for some babies but teething goes on for two years so it’s worth fitting in sleep training somewhere along the line. Going away did disrupt my child’s sleep somewhat, but not to the same extent as it had prior to sleep training. I did find that when we got home, it was helpful to re-start the training for a night or two. When my second child came along, I cuddled and rocked him to my heart’s content, secure in the knowledge that I could train him to self soothe as soon as he – or rather, I – was ready.

April 30, 2015

IS IT POSSIBLE TO BREASTFEED WHILE SICK?

The first thing that a nursing mom will worry about when she gets sick is the possibility of infecting her baby. This concern may lead to limiting contact with her baby and even to terminate breastfeeding out of fear of making her baby sick. In truth, it is very rare for a mom to have to stop breastfeeding due to illness. Sickness is not transmitted via breastmilk unless bacteria is present in the mother’s blood (such as septicaemia). During sickness, the mother’s body will produce antibodies (specific to that illness) which will actually protect her baby from the infection that she is carrying. Your baby will have been exposed to the illness a couple of days before you even realised that you were sick and so the best thing that you can do for your baby while sick, is to FEED. If baby does get sick, it will most likely be a much milder case than anybody else in the family has suffered. Because of the antibodies which your milk carries, limiting breastfeeding may actually increase your babies chances of getting sick. Contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding during a bout of food poisoning is completely safe unless the bacteria has crossed over to the mother’s bloodstream which would result in septicaemia and ultimately the mother being hospitalised. As long as the food poisoning is contained to your general vomiting, stomach cramps and diarrhoea, breastfeeding can continue as normal. While nursing is the best thing for your baby, it is not always the easiest task to carry out when you are not well. One may notice a slight drop in your milk supply and this could be due to a number of reasons, but it will build up again quickly once you have recovered. Rest well, keep yourself hydrated and make sure that the medications you are taking are safe for breastfeeding. Try to avoid large doses of vitamin B as well as drugs which contain pseudoephedrine (present in most oral decongestants) as well as throat lozenges containing menthol. Though safe for baby, these may decrease your milk supply. Opt for decongestant sprays rather than oral meds and use these sprays for the recommended time period only. Always take medication immediately after feeding to give your body the maximum amount of time to work through your meds. If possible, have someone help you with other daily tasks so that you can focus on feeding and recovering without the hassle of running everyday errands. Feed baby lying down to maximise rest and to minimise the chance of dropping your baby. Although many medications are completely safe while breastfeeding, you may wish to consider a few natural tips and remedies to see you through your next illness: Hot liquids relieve congestion, drink up Drink fenugreek tea to help ease head and chest congestion (fenugreek is also used to increase breastmilk) Inhale a vapour made with apple cider vinegar to help alleviate congestion Massage and hot packs placed on and around sinuses can ease pain and congestion Drinking strong black tea (using 2 teabags) can bring some comfort to a sore / scratchy throat Warm Sprite / lemonade has an anaesthetising effect on a sore throat Make your own rehydration drink using 1/2teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon bicarb, 8 teaspoons sugar, 250ml orange juice, 1l water Drink ginger tea to relieve nausea *please note, this blog is in no way intended to replace medical advice. Ask your doctor should you have any queries or concerns regarding medication that you are taking while breastfeeding.

April 7, 2015

Treat Headaches Safely During And After Pregnancy

Being a new mother can be an exciting time for many women. Taking care of a new child can be one of the most wonderful experiences. But this time can also be extremely stressful when headaches occur. A recent study published in the journal Headache showed there are many safe methods to treat these headaches and migraines when women are breast-feeding. A list of commonly used migraine medications was agreed upon by the 6 researchers, who treat migraine and other headaches on a regular basis. Each medication was researched by an author utilizing widely accepted data sources, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics publication “The Transfer of Drugs and Other Chemicals Into Human Milk”. Dr. Elliot Shevel, South Africa’s migraine research pioneer, said the study found there are many reliable medications for women who are worried it will affect their babies through breast milk. This comprehensive study revealed there are many commonly used migraine medications that may be compatible with breast-feeding based on expert recommendations. “Ibuprofen, diclofenac, and eletriptan are among acute medications with low levels in breast milk. They are therefore safe to use,” says Shevel. What does not work? Aspirin did, however, cause some concern. Due to an association with Reye’s syndrome; sedation or apnea is problematic with opioids. Finally, preventive medications not recommended include zonisamide, atenolol, and tizanidine. Headaches during pregnancy Most headaches seen in women are primary headache disorders (migraine, tension-type headache), complications or conditions associated with pregnancy can present with a secondary headache. Headaches are very common symptoms in idiopathic intracranial hypertension, eclampsia, and reversible cerebral vascular syndrome. Migraines may begin or worsen during pregnancy, but pregnancy tends to reduce migraine frequency and severity. Although it is desirable to avoid medications for headaches during pregnancy, treatment should be considered when headaches are severe and cause significant disability. “We always promote treating headaches and migraines without the use of drugs. This is the safest method we can employ,” says Shevel to treat these headaches and migraines when women are breast-feeding. Being aware of possible treatments for migraine and headaches during pregnancy is essential. To find out more about how migraines affect your child, call 0861 678 911 or visit www.theheadacheclinic.net

April 3, 2015

The Mommy Blues

Mutual regulation refers to a communication system that allows a mother to read emotional signals from her baby and meet his or her needs, as well as allowing the baby to read his/her mother’s response. So what happens when this system breaks down? Post Natal Depression (PND), otherwise known as Postpartum Depression, is a condition that affects between 10% and 15% of mothers. It has many similar characteristics with depression, and if help for this form of depression is not sought, it may have an impact on the way the mother interacts with her baby, as well as the child’s future cognitive and emotional development. One of the biggest problems with PND in mothers is that they are less sensitive to the needs of their babies, as well as being less engaged with them. Things like interpreting a baby’s cry and responding to it is one of the aspects that can be affected, such as being able to tell the difference between the hungry, sleepy or nappy-change cry. Symptoms of PND (according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists)include: Depression Irritability Chronic fatigue Changes in appetite An inability to enjoy anything Loss of interest in sex Guilty thoughts Anxiety Unsociability Hopelessness Thoughts of suicide Effects of PND also include feelings of guilt, the idea that you may not love or feel close to your baby, or that he or she doesn’t love you back, and resentment towards the baby. It is important for women to understand that these symptoms are normal, and are a result of hormonal and emotional difficulties and are not an indication of good or bad parenting. There are various suggestions as to how this can be treated or even prevented. Techniques to help depressed mothers include: Listening to music Visual imagery Aerobic exercise or yoga Meditation or massage therapy Talking to a professional Advice to new mothers: Don’t take on too much too fast. Learn to ask for help. Find someone to talk to Seek antenatal advice Sources: A Child’s World and The Royal College of Psychiatrists

March 25, 2015

Crying Through The Ages

Newborn The newborn baby is typically much calmer and cries less than you would expect. Many parents are surprised that their baby does not scream at birth but rather makes quieter sounds and has a period of relative calm. Your hormones released in the birth process and the natural birth process itself results in a calm alert baby on the day he is born. Even after the initial 24 hours, the new baby is only really likely to cry when hungry, which once the milk comes in can be as often as two hourly or may be spread out to closer to four hours. It is important in the early days to feed your newborn on cue as this will not only settle him but also encourages your milk supply. The other time newborns cry is when being changed and bathed. Both changing and bathing result in feeling the cold air and new touch sensations, which can be disconcerting for the new baby. If a newborn (0-2 week old) cries a lot, it is important to have him checked by a doctor or clinic sister as this is typically a period of relative calm, which we call the honeymoon period. Most babies do not cry extensively during the early days. 2 weeks -3 Months At around the two week mark, many babies become unsettled and begin to fuss more than during the honeymoon period. This is completely normal and in fact the ‘crying curve’ is well documented. This curve shows that babies begin to cry seemingly without reason at around 2 weeks old and by 12 weeks old this crying has almost entirely abated. This unexplained early baby crying peaks at about 6 weeks of age. Traditionally called colic, we now know that in fact this crying has nothing to do with the digestive system and remedies for tummy ailments make as much difference as sugar water. (St. James) Even if your baby tucks his legs up or kicks and screams for an extended period of time, you can rest assured that almost every crying baby of this age is healthy and normal. Colic is caused by over stimulation. Being alive in our busy sensory world can be overwhelming for many babies and this coupled with too little sleep will result in crying as your baby responds to the sensory input of the world and the little bubbles in his tummy with crying. The best ways to avert colic is to swaddle your baby and settle to him to sleep after only an hour of awake time. If your little one is very unsettled, do not worry about spoiling him at this age. Under four months of age babies do not have long term memory and so will not be ‘spoilt’ by being rocked or lulled to sleep. 4-6 Months The four to six month old is much less susceptible to overstimulation and therefore is more settled. But just as you think you are getting the hang of this parenting thing, you will find your baby become a little less predictable. Instead of remaining settled for a good three to four hours between feeds, many babies of this age begin to fuss and wake more frequently at night too. This relates to their new and growing nutritional needs. At this age you can choose to respond to the increased demand for nutrition with increasing the number and frequency or quantity of milk offered or you may choose to introduce solids. The latest research indicates the introduction of solids is safe and good for babies anytime between 4 and 6 months of age. Your 4-6 month old may still become crotchety if overtired or over stimulated. Watch your baby’s awake times (Baby Sense 2010) 6-12 Months The older baby is a bundle of fun and laughs and will not spend much time crying. There are a few reasons that typically raise their heads: Illness – many babies get their first colds and illnesses at this age and an irritable baby with a fever is not much fun. Separation anxiety – as your baby develops object permanence and realizes he is separate from you, he will become increasingly irritable whenever you are out of site. A transition object or security blanket will help him to feel a little more secure. Nappy change time – all 8 month olds resist having their nappy changed and become very irritable. This is typical and is no reason to be concerned. Simply put the back position for nappy changes is way to passive and our little one will get very irate when placed on his back. Teething – typically your baby’s first tooth will emerge during this stage and you may have a day or two of irritability. Toddlers Your toddler has an opinion and mind of his own and generally this will impact on his mood. There are three main reasons for crying and tantrums A toddler may throw an almighty tantrum if he is overtired – we tend to overestimate our toddler’s ability to stay awake and be stimulated. The reality is that toddlers need at least one day sleep and an early bedtime. In addition, toddlers can only socialize for a limited period before becoming over stimulated and crying or throwing a tantrum. If your toddler feels misunderstood, you will have a tantrum on your hands. Toddlers understand more than you would believe and can process cognitively what they want to say or do. The problem is that it will be some time before your toddler can express himself adequately. When he feels like you do not understand him a tantrum may ensue. Some toddlers throw tantrums and cry simply to get their way. Again this is normal and is part of developing independence and autonomy. Finally, it is vital to realize that all babies are different. Some settled little ones cry very little and take each stage in their stride, while a sensitive baby cries for almost no reason and is

March 12, 2015

Depression And Anxiety During And After Pregnancy

Pregnancy is generally assumed to be a wonderful time in the life of a family, a time of abundance and anticipated joy. For some women however, pregnancy can be an extremely stressful time, with many women experiencing feelings of both depression and anxiety. It is well known that pregnant women need to take care of their bodies in order to foster the growth of a health baby. However, it is equally important for pregnant women to take care of their emotional well-being, as untreated depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy can have long term consequences for the whole family. This article addresses some of the important issues with regards to pregnancy and depression and anxiety, and offers some advice on how best to cope with depression and anxiety during pregnancy. Are there different forms of depression during pregnancy? Depression is a common problem amongst women, and is most common in women age 18 to 44. This is the time when many women fall pregnant and so it stands to reason that pregnancy and depression can often overlap. Depression can therefore take on several different forms during and after pregnancy. Some women will be depressed prior to falling pregnant and this will continue into their pregnancy and even after the birth of their child. Some women will only become depressed during pregnancy and this can continue once the baby is born (becoming what is classified as postnatal or postpartum depression). In fact, research has established that women who are depressed whilst they are pregnant are more likely to experience postnatal depression, making it important that women who are depressed during pregnancy seek help before their baby is born. Some women will be emotionally well during their pregnancy, but will suffer with postnatal depression after the birth of their baby. Postnatal depression does not necessarily occur immediately and can start up to eight weeks after the birth of a child. It is important to bear in mind that all forms of depression are treatable, and that there are many different forms of treatment available to pregnant women who are depressed. Depression during pregnancy can often go hand in hand with anxiety. This is not surprising, as the many changes that occur during pregnancy can be very stressful for many women. During the first trimester, many women become anxious that they will miscarry, or that something else will go wrong at this early stage of pregnancy. During the third trimester, many women can become anxious about the birth of their child, worrying about the birthing process itself as well as the enormous impact that having a baby will have on them and their relationships. Many first time mothers become anxious during pregnancy as they worry ability to take care of an infant. Research has also shown that it is common for women to become anxious before being discharged from hospital once the baby has been born. These are all normal concerns and should not be seen as abnormal or wrong. However, if these anxieties become too extreme, or they are coupled with feelings of depression, then it is important that they are addressed and treated during pregnancy, as women who are extremely anxious during pregnancy are also more likely to experience postnatal depression. Why does depression often go undiagnosed and untreated during pregnancy? During pregnancy women experience many physical changes which differ depending on the stage of pregnancy. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to feel extremely tired, especially during the first and third trimesters. It is also very normal for pregnant women to have a change in appetite, ranging for example from nausea and lack of appetite in the first trimester, to increased appetite in the second and third trimesters. In addition, many women who are pregnant experience changes in libido. These are all normal aspects of pregnancy and are certainly no cause for concern. However, these changes are also hallmarks of depression. For this reason, depression can often go undiagnosed during pregnancy as both women themselves, and doctors, do not recognise these physical changes as depression. Unfortunately, up depression in pregnant women is misdiagnosed up to 50% of the time. This does not mean that all pregnant women should become overly concerned with becoming depressed or worry that the physical changes that they experience during pregnancy could be depression. Whilst up to 70% of women will experience some feelings of depression during pregnancy, it is estimated that only between 5 and 10% of women will experience clinical depression during pregnancy. In addition, approximately 13% of women who give birth will experience some degree of postnatal depression. This means that most pregnant women will not encounter problems with depression at any stage of their pregnancy. However, it is important for the small proportion of women who become depressed during pregnancy to seek help. Importantly, pregnancy is generally a time when women have regular contact with health care providers, meaning that there are numerous opportunities to access treatment for depression and anxiety during pregnancy. How will I know if I am depressed? Two important signs of depression are feeling down, depressed or hopeless and feeling little interest or pleasure in things that were previously enjoyable. We can’t all be happy all of the time, but if these feelings persist for most of the day over a period of about two weeks, then it is likely that your doctor would need to consider the possibility that you are clinically depressed. Many pregnant women feel too ashamed or embarrassed to mention these feelings to their doctors or to their friends or family. Women often feel an enormous amount of pressure to maintain a ‘happy face’ as they believe that pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, not sadness. However, it is extremely important for depression during pregnancy to be treated as there may be long term effects of depression on the baby as well as on the relationship between the mother and the baby. Importantly, depression during pregnancy is also

February 13, 2015

Childbirth Education Can Save Lives

Knowledge is the key to a safe, successful pregnancy, birth and parenting experience. At the very least childbirth education will improve your birth experience, and at best it can save your life. Of the million plus women who become pregnant in South Africa each year, those who receive antenatal care and quality childbirth education are the most likely to experience a healthy pregnancy and birth. Ideally all pregnant parents would attend childbirth education classes, which cover all aspects of pregnancy and birth as well as how to care for the newborn baby. However only about 5% of expectant parents do. There are some good online courses available. However, attending classes – which are usually held in the evenings or over a weekend – are more recommended; the interaction with the childbirth educator and other pregnant couples in the class is invaluable. Often lifelong friendships are formed. Typically childbirth education classes will cover: Pregnancy – physical and emotional changes Birth options Labour – breathing, water, massage, relaxation, visualisation Pain relief options Birth plan Breastfeeding Care of the new born baby Postnatal depression To help find the right childbirth educator for you and your partner ask the following: What are her qualifications? Ideally your childbirth educator is a qualified midwife and has completed a post-graduate diploma in Childbirth Education. Is she a member of the Childbirth Educator Professional Forum? Is she a mother? Which birthing methods are covered in the course and which are emphasised? What are her ideals of labour and do they match yours? Can partners attend? Ideally dad will be involved in some or all of the classes too! Are practical techniques taught e.g. breathing and positions for labour, massage, relaxation and visualisation? There is a list of qualified childbirth educators in the Expectant Mothers Guide or online on www.expectantmothersguide.co.za.

February 11, 2015

The “REAL” Before Baby Checklist

I strongly believe that nothing changes your views on parenting, quite like being a parent… I know every mom is different, but if it was up to me, I would have been given this checklist before “signing up” Are you okay with bodily fluids all over you, your house and even your car? On day two while Aidan was in NICU and the nurse was changing him is when I first experienced this. The moment she took the nappy off he somehow managed to get pooh ALL over, it even went through a cutout in his plastic crib and left a number one shaped pooh stain on the wall. At home he suffered from reflux and my dainty little spit up cloths were replaced with, cloth towels, blankets, buckets… Nothing ever stayed in him! Are you able to operate on two hours’ worth of sleep? Even when Aidan slept I was so paranoid I would just stare at him. So my nights were spent either being woken up by him crying or being woken up by him not crying. Are you fine with putting your heels into hibernation? I’m only now dusting of my stilettos (my son is 20 months old) because regardless of what the models/celebs and fashion blogging moms say, running on heels is MUCH easier than “mumming” on heels. Pushing a stroller, with a child on your hip (because he suddenly hates the stroller) while tittering on sky scraper heels is not for the faint hearted. If you are planning on breast feeding are you aware that at some point you will be wearing a thick jacket while the sun beats down on you, trying to act natural, because you are too embarrassed to strip down and reveal your milk stained blouse. I never understood just how important, breast pads are. They REALLY are! Are you okay with cold (at best lukewarm) food When they are tiny they seem to use the act of you sitting down to eat as their queue to cry to be picked up. It’s amazing really, and I for one don’t think you have lived until you have breastfed while eating a pie, like a boss. When they get older they want to taste your food or in the case of my picky eater just touch it and act repulsed. When they reach toddler stage you end up eating with one hand and mopping up spills with the other…very classy. Oh and when you go out to eat you can spot the mom’s by their eating style…The faster the ” act of shovelling of food into your mouth” the younger your kid…I remember having to tell myself to bite, chew, swallow, repeat. Are you aware that stepping on toys is a prerequisite? Whether it’s stepping on a loud squeaky toy the moment you finally get them to sleep or something sharp and hard like a Lego that makes you dance around in pain while trying not to use any “bad words” stepping on toys WILL HAPPEN. Unless you have a team of nannies or have the reflexes of cat woman that is. Are you ready to say goodbye to your home? Toys and baby stuff will overtake your house. Despite your best intentions you will not have a baby living with you, you will be living with a baby…don’t say I didn’t warn you. Are you okay with being judged about every little thing? Everyone has an opinion! Don’t hold him like that, don’t feed him like that, don’t do this, don’t do that, sleep with him close, but not that close, actually closer, nooooooo that’s too close. Now only eat fruit farmed by monks by the light of the moon to ensure he gets best in your milk for the next 3 years, you simply must feed for that long, any shorter or longer and we will call child protection services. Also I hope his pacifier is organic, they really shouldn’t have pacifiers though, but the one you don’t give him should still be organic. Would you like to be physically unable to walk into a shop to by something for yourself? You can buy stuff for yourself, just not without, a little something, just something small, tiny really for the baby. This one trumps all, it carries ten points Are you okay with waking up every day feeling so blessed you could burst. Are you fine with being loved and adored for just being you and with loving and adoring someone who you are responsible for. Also are you keen to watch someone grow and learn and to experience a world of firsts? I for one think I would be right where I am now with or without the questions…

February 10, 2015

Bonding And Not Bonding With Your Newborn… Why It Will Be Okay

When I was pregnant with Mikayla Rose, I often compared it to hell (I know, I am a great mom). I had a terrible experience… It started with severe nausea and vomiting (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) that lasted all day and all night for the entire duration of my pregnancy and it only got worse when my gynecologist at the time convinced me that there was no way that I would carry full term and that I would most probably suffer a miscarriage. I also apparently had very little amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. Subconsciously this resulted in me ‘disconnecting’ myself from my pregnancy and baby to some extent. It was stressful and I was depressed – I cried every single time we left the gynecologist’s office. This fear of miscarriage carried on up until about six months – waiting for the supposedly inevitable the whole time. My husband and I never shared this with anyone, it was confusing and private – and we still had hope. We eventually decided to make an appointment at the Fetal Assessment Center in Cape Town to get a second professional opinion – the result? Baby is perfectly fine and normal, a little bit on the small side, but absolutely nothing to be alarmed about. That gynea pretty much ruined my pregnancy… Anyway…, we decided to rather go back to my hometown to have my family doctor deliver Mikayla – we carried a full term and the only reason for the emergency cesarean was that there were very high ketone levels in my urine and my constant vomiting was denying my body and my baby the nutrition we needed. Everyone talks about that moment when they first lay eyes on their babies, when they felt this huge rush of love, when they knew they would give their life for this child in an instant, when their life hits this pinnacle of pinnacles. My moment wasn’t exactly like that, and it took me a while to realize that it was fine (and normal) too. Mikayla weighed 2.9kg at birth and when I first saw her I felt joy, relief, and even awe… deep, huge awe that this was a real baby – that this was my baby and I was her mother. Here she was, little grasping hands and pouty lips. Suddenly this abstract idea in my belly had turned into a real little person. I knew I loved her and that she was beautiful and perfect, but something was missing. I was so heavily medicated at the time that I wrote this strange feeling off and left it at that. I felt like a bride at an arranged marriage. I knew that the baby in my arms would be hugely important in the rest of my life, but right now, we had just met. I couldn’t stop staring at her over the next few days – not because I loved her, yet, but because I wanted to get to know her so badly. I was at home with Mikayla for about a month when I realized that I had Postnatal Depression, it was impossible to ignore it… and maybe that contributed to the lack of a bond I was feeling towards my child. Mikayla had colic, and I really struggled to breastfeed – no matter how hard I tried I just never had enough milk. This didn’t help at all, I felt like such a failure. I went to the doctor and was put on medication for the depression. It helped in some ways, but the bond was still missing… After two months I felt like I would lose my mind if I stayed at home any longer, so I started my new job – worst mistake ever. Not only was I not ready emotionally, but physically as well. I missed a lot of days at work due to either being sick or having really bad depression. After six months I resigned and started working at a different company doing kids clothing. I was doing really well and it lifted my spirits for a short while, but I still did not have my bond with my daughter. It took some serious soul searching and long, deep contemplation for me to finally realize that this was my baby, my little girl, she did not die, she made it… we made it and she is here and I don’t have to worry about losing her. I actually only realized that I didn’t fall in love-at-first-sight with my baby about a year later, when I was feeling that kind of love that made my heart feel like it might burst. I finally felt the bond between us starting to grow. I could feel the roots of this love and unbreakable bond working their way into me as I kissed her padded cheeks and watched her while she slept. By the age of two it was undeniable and got stronger every day… now at the age of almost four, she is my life… my everything, my existence. I have never felt a deeper love or a stronger bond than I do with my daughter. I think the insane after-pregnancy hormone cocktail actually made the love I was supposed to feel for my daughter attach itself to my husband. I had never loved him more intensely than in those first days when we came home from the hospital as a family, as I watched him hold our sleeping daughter on his chest, as I watched him, too, fall gradually in love with our child. In retrospect it is clear that hitting the “pinnacle of pinnacles” after the birth of your child is actually really hard for some moms. Whether you have experienced a surgical birth or a non-surgical birth – your body has just experienced a trauma. I know everyone insists childbirth is “the most natural thing in the world”, but guess what? It can also be incredibly disarming and scary, especially if you are on an operating table, awake, while someone is pulling a human from your body – I’ve heard having one emerge from your vagina is also not the most relaxing thing in the world. So don’t worry, rest assured in knowing that the day will come where you love your child so much it hurts. You are NOT a bad mom, you are human. You are

January 27, 2015

The Artificial Road To A Miracle Baby – An Inspiring Journey

I heard about Kerry and Michelle’s story through a mutual friend. Something about their story broke my heart and warmed it at the same time. I think sometimes we take for granted how easy the road to pregnancy for some of us are, without sparing a thought for those around us who might not be so lucky. Kerry and Michelle are a wonderful couple from Cape Town going through a journey of a lifetime and I hope we can all spare them a thought and send amazing positive vibes their way. I find their strength and positivity so inspiring. This is their story as told by Kerry… In September 2013 we decided that we would start trying for our first baby. We got started right away deciding that Kerry would be the one to carry the baby and we would find an anonymous donor at the Cape Fertility Clinic. We started off with saving for the procedure and taking all of the required vitamins, healthy dieting and no drinking or smoking to get Kerry’s body in tip top shape. We managed to get our first appointment with Dr Heylen at the Cape Fertility Clinic in late January 2014 after being bumped up the waiting list. The initial check up was perfect and we were all set for our first Artificial Insemination (AI) in early February. Unfortunately for the first time in her life, probably due to a lot of stress (we had a car accident that week), Kerry did not ovulate and the procedure was cancelled. We started on Clomid which could only be found at Wynberg Pharmacy. It made Kerry very moody and caused terrible hot flushes- we were optimistic that all would go well the second time around. After four failed inseminations – all with two to three beautiful follicles and a perfect uterus lining, Dr Heylenwas not happy and suggested surgery to see what was happening… The surgery (Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy) was scheduled at Kingsbury Hospital in June 2014. Dr Heylen is one of the very best fertility surgeons in Cape Town and he assured us that any problems he found, he would be able to fix and we would have our baby. He made us feel very confident… Unfortunately we found that Kerry’s Fallopian tubes were completely closed at the base. It was very likely that she was born with this, as there was no damage at all. This is something neither Dr Heylen or his staff had ever seen. It was pointless to fix and our best option would be IVF. We did an follow-up Hysteroscopy to see how severe the blockage was and where exactly it was located. This showed that there was 0% possibility of natural conception as all of the contrast fell out and nothing went into the Fallopian tubes. At this point we had put in about six months, R36 000 and many emotions – still no good news. We were understandably very desperate at this stage. The IVF journey was not easy at all, we completely understand why Dr Heylen started us off on AI. The procedure cost about R42 000 and was a very painful and time-consuming process. It consisted of three painful and complicated injections daily, many vaginal scans checking the follicle growth and an extremely painful egg retrieval procedure (by far the worst part as it was very painful and Kerry could only take Panado). The egg retrieval went very well and we retrieved eight perfect eggs, seven fertilized and made it to a perfect five-day embryo. On day five we put back two of the perfect five-day embryos with the hopes of a twin or singleton pregnancy. The procedure was perfect and Dr Heylen confirmed that at most we would have was twins, but more likely a singleton. We asked what the odds of having triplets were with the two embryos and he said it was literally none, he had never seen it in the decades he has been a fertility doctor and the odds were radically against this ever happening. The two week wait began again… This time slightly shortened as we were already five days in. On 27 July 2014 we did a sneaky home pregnancy test two days early, we promised we wouldn’t as we have done so many and each time we have been utterly devastated- but this time we came back with a positive result! We were over the moon, but still nervous in case it was a chemical pregnancy. On 29 July 2014 we did the blood test and got a BHCG of 167, quite high for this stage and from here we were already suspecting that we were going to have twins. The follow up test on 1 October 2014 gave us a result of 654, which was again quite high and showed all was going well. All we had to do now was wait for the first scan at 5-6 weeks. The 2-week wait was agonizing as we couldn’t wait to see our baby and confirm if it was twins or not. This was also quite an adjustment period for us as we had expected some morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms but not to such an severe extent. Kerry was sick every morning and evening and nauseous all day. She was losing weight rather than gaining and her belly and breasts were growing rapidly. The 6-week scan finally came and we got the extremely wonderful news that we were indeed expecting twins! Everything looked perfect – size, heartbeats and placement… we were so excited! We had confirmation that there were just two fetuses and everything was perfect as there was no chance they could split now. Another long three week wait for the final follow up scan with Dr Heylen at nine weeks was too much to handle and Michelle moved the appointment from Monday 6 October to Friday 3 October. It was at this appointment that everything changed and the pregnancy went from happy and exiting to absolutely terrifying. Dr Heylen told us that one of the embryo’s must have split shortly after implantation and as they are so small it was missed on the first scan. We now had triplets, two identical (Monochorionic-Diamniotic) and one fraternal. There was a brief moment of excitement where we were thinking ‘Wow! we have three babies!!’ but that was over as soon as Dr Heylen started talking. He explained that identical Monochorionic-Diamniotic twins by themselves is very complicated and dangerous as they share a placenta and they can get a condition called Twin To Twin Transfer Syndrome. This is

January 13, 2015

Circumcision

When we found out that we were expecting a boy, my husband acted as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had an intense fear of raising a teenage girl who would PMS and end up liking and dating… boys! I have a sister and many female cousins, so there is no denying that my knowledge of boys and what to expect when you’re raising one is lacking. One of the most challenging decisions that I have had to make, as a mom of a boy, was whether to make the cut –circumcision. I am all about creating community and have found that when it comes to teething, rashes, and fevers, you will find an abundance of moms sharing their stories and experiences. But when I had to come to terms with circumcising my 10 day old son, there is all the complicated, medical information available but no real-life stories. It puzzles me that in this day and age, we still hide over a trivial word like “penis” and “vagina”. There is a list of reasons why circumcision is considered, they range from religion, cultural beliefs and hygiene. Some articles suggest that daddy and baby should look the same to avoid confusion, in the nearby inquisitive years. My husband’s argument was that he’d feel more comfortable having it done, as he wouldn’t even know where to begin when it came to cleaning an un-circumcised penis, that he worried about our son being confused in locker rooms or worse, teased. I suggested that we wait until he was older but after speaking with an adult, who was forced to have it done in his adulthood, he mentioned how painful it was and how much more complicated the procedure could become. You are probably wondering why I would be discussing circumcision with other men, but I wanted to know, is this as important as my husband was making it out to be. Turns out, it is! There are several emotions that I experienced going through this process. I was filled with anxiety that tethered to the insides of my stomach. I couldn’t quite picture handing my son over to someone, who’s intention was to take a blade to his penis. I set to Google who didn’t soften the punch when explaining the procedure. Anger settled in, when I tried discussing my concerns with my husband who wouldn’t hear the other end of it. I was so livid that he was all for handing over my baby, it just made no sense that he could be okay with this! Sadness was closely followed by acceptance when I realized that this is happening, that the following day, I would walk into a hospital where I would pass my son over to a stranger, who I would need to trust. On the day, I was greeted by very friendly nurses who took my son from me, they undressed him and put a numbing cream on him. The doctor took time in explaining what would happen in each step of the procedure. He didn’t laugh at my insecurities when I asked him how many circumcisions he had done, or would my son really be grateful in the future? After everything was explained, I signed the documentation and went for coffee, while we waited for the cream and Ponado to settle in. We went back, handed Axl over and left the room. He encouraged that we go for coffee and return in 20 minutes. We did so. I expected to return to an upset baby who would just want boob and the comfort of his mom’s arms, but instead, I returned to a sleeping baby being cradled by a nurse. The doctor explained that there would be blood in his next nappy change, and that there would be a yellow bandage that should stay on for a few days but that he’d see us in a week, and if it still hadn’t fallen off, he’d remove it. We weren’t to bath him, but needed to keep him clean. I had complete heart failure for the first nappy change. The sight of blood coming from my baby was all too much, and surely something had to be wrong!? The doctor had given me his private cell number, but I felt pretty lame calling him – as it is, I had quizzed him with a half dozen unmentionable questions, that still make my cheeks flush. On day 6, his bandage came off and even though the doctor had told me to expect it. I called my husband in panic, explaining that his penis looked “weird” and pinkish. It was expected that it would be pinkish, but I didn’t really know what to expect it to look like. Remember, I was brought up with girls! We put Vaseline on, after every nappy change, to stop the nappy from sticking, and continued for about 2 weeks after the procedure, to ensure everything was healed. I remember for our 1 week check-up, the doctor said my son has such a good looking penis. I mean, what is that even? What makes a penis good looking, doctor? Remember the emotional rollercoaster that I mentioned, earlier? Turns out that it continues. I am both humoured by my journey and how I reacted, but more so, grateful! I am glad that my husband asked for our son to be circumcised, and I am sure my son will be too. At the end of the day, it is done and will never be a concern in the future whether he is being clean about his habits, or whether he has infections that can lead to more serious issues. I wish that more moms would share their stories, to help comfort and support other moms. Circumcision is a big decision to make, especially when you’re sleep-deprived and new to motherhood, with very little knowledge on the male anatomy. It is scary that you only have 8-14 days after birth, to make that

January 12, 2015

Pregnancy Brain… It’s A Real Thing

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or growing an entire human being that’s distracting you. Maybe it’s the hormones driving you crazy or maybe you really are losing your mind. Whatever it is, it’s your first actual taste of what it might be like to be senile. Pregnancy brain is not a medically proven phenomenon, but anyone who has ever been pregnant or lived with a pregnant woman knows it’s very, very real. Here are some of my pregnancy brain moments…so far: The time I locked Mikayla and myself out of the house on a cold evening…This was just after I took my pregnancy test, luckily I forgot to lock my car as well so we stayed in there to keep warm until Cole came home! When he arrived he asked me how I managed to do it and I told him I had pregnancy brain… Biggest goofball smile on his face I have ever seen! Cool pregnancy announcement huh? The time I wore two different shoes to my doctor’s appointment…Getting dressed should be like second nature…right? I mean… it is fairly easy, I pretty much dress other people for a living. I was feeling pretty well rested, I got dressed and off to my gynea appointment I went to check on my 22week baby bump. We did a scan, had a chat and off I went… As I am standing at the counter to pay for my visit I happen to look down at my feet… and I am wearing two different pairs of shoes. The time I left my car keys in the ignition, in my unlocked car for a whole day… In South Africa… I arrived at work and pulled into the parking lot. Nine hours later I get ready to leave when all of a sudden I notice my car keys are missing. A couple of my colleagues and I searched the office from top to bottom with no luck. I was pretty much in tears and hoping that I wouldn’t have to call my husband to drive 45 minutes in traffic with our toddler in tow, so I retraced my steps instead which leads me right back to my car where I find my keys in the ignition – all the doors unlocked. I can honestly say that it was a first for me. The time I forgot Mikayla in the naughty corner… Mikayla was having one hell of a tantrum over something ridiculous– I can’t even remember what it was about, but she did something naughty and I sent her to the naughty corner in the dining room. I carried on making supper, chatting to hubby and dishing up. In the back of my mind I noticed she was very quiet, but I guess I was preoccupied. I was just about to call her as I was taking our dinner through to the dinner table when she suddenly moved in the corner and pretty much gave me a heart attack! “Mommy can I come out now?” … She stood still in that corner without making a sound for close to an hour. Worst mother ever. I haven’t sent her to the naughty corner since. The time I searched and searched for my phone… and was so upset because I NEED my phone (I am addicted). Upset and crying out of frustration, I called my husband to tell him I lost my phone. What do you think I phoned him with? My phone that I had in my hand the whole time? Yeah. I also franticly search around the room for my phone while I am on the phone… this happens more often than I care to admit. Every single day, morning routine …where is my phone, wallet and keys? Look on the entrance table, look through my bag, find my keys – place them on the table. Look for my wallet, it’s in my handbag. Where is my phone? Look in my bag, look in the bedroom, and look in the bathroom – nowhere to be found. Cole phones it and it rings in my handbag. Take my handbag, leave the house, get to the car – where are my keys? Scratch through the handbag, go back into the house… on the table where I left it. Back to the car, I have my keys and I have my wallet… where is my phone? Scratch through the bag once, nothing… find it the second time, yay me! Every, single morning! P.S… that is why I am always late. The time I used toothpaste as make-up remover…I somehow managed to take a cotton ball, reach for the toothpaste instead of make-up remover, watch myself squirt toothpaste onto said cotton ball and wipe it on my face. Thank goodness I did not start with my eyes…. The day I forgot to put panties on Mikayla… this happens to be the same day that she had to have her Tonsillectomy/Adenoidectomy and wear an open-back gown. Once again… worst mother ever. Luckily Cole rushed home to get her a pair! What would I do without this man… The day I poured orange juice on my cereal instead of milk… it didn’t taste that bad, actually. The time I forgot how to drive home and ended up at my old office instead… I left work early so that I could get home early. Ironic. I could not remember how to get home, took the wrong turn-off and ended up going all the way back into town. By the time I realized what I was doing I was at my old office in Gardens and had to sit in the back end of traffic to get out of town and on my way home. What would have been a 15 minute trip ended up being about 2 hours. The day I forgot to wear a bra to work… do I even need to go into detail on this one? The day I was stuck at what seemed to be the longest red light of my life… cars behind me started hooting, so naturally I rolled my window down and started screaming how

January 7, 2015

My Issues With Maternity Leave In South Africa

I have one month left at work until I have to go on maternity leave, I say have to because apparently I do not have a choice in the matter. Let me explain – like most of the companies in the fashion industry the company I work for has a shut-down period from 19 December 2014 until about 14 January 2015 in which we all have to take our annual leave that we have built up throughout the year, my plan was to work up until the last day when we would all break up (I would be 38 weeks pregnant). To me this meant more time with my baby after birth. I was however informed that, by law, I have to go on maternity leave at 36 weeks, that’s an entire month before my due date and means that I have only three months maternity leave left after my baby is born. The maternity leave issue has been bugging me for a while now. According to the Basic Employment Act, mothers are entitled to four consecutive months of maternity leave – first off, even if your maternity leave only kicks in after the birth of your baby, four months is not nearly enough time to bond with a newborn. Secondly, I am one of the many unlucky women who will not be receiving a salary from my company during this time. Luckily our baby was planned and we have been fortunate enough to make provisions, but it is still going to be a major financial setback for us. Many women cannot afford to not receive a salary for that amount of time and are thus forced to go back to work earlier. You can claim from UIF, but the amount you receive is nothing short of a joke… at least it is better than nothing I suppose. I have asked the opinions of a couple of South Africans through various social media network platforms as well as forums – most of the feedback is pretty much on par with how I feel, but some of the comments just blew my mind. According to Economist Dawie Roodt – longer maternity leave is not an option for South Africa. “The current duration is far too much already. When the politicians start to force the employer to keep a position open for a longer period for an employee, they are essentially penalizing and taxing the employer,” – I wonder if Mr Roodt has children, or how long his wife took maternity leave (if she works at all). He then went on to make the following statement – “When UIF is being paid out for a longer period, it means someone else is paying for you to be on maternity leave.” Okay, I understand, but I am paying for someone in Pollsmoore Prison to receive a meal and a bed every night for killing/raping/murdering/stealing or whatever. I am also paying for my president to build lavish homes(Nklandla) and for his wives to go on insane designer shopping sprees. I am paying towards a government that is crumbling and that has become a source of comic relief to us. Surely, paying me UIF is a small price to pay compared to all the money we fork out that seems to disappear into thin air. A senior policy consultant at the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Pietman Roos, said if maternity leave was extended, employing women would be seen as a risk to companies. “It’s a cost factor. It would ultimately affect the chances of getting a job for all women,” he said. I’m sorry, does that not constitute as discrimination?? Why are we being punished for having babies? Many women referred to the Pick n Pay model which allows eleven months of maternity leave, nine of which are paid. The retailer gives fathers eight days’ paternity leave, even though labour legislation does not make specific allowance for leave for new fathers. If the mother and father both work at Pick n Pay, they can share the maternity leave. That is amazing – why did I not go work for them?? Makro is not far behind, offering employers nine months paid maternity leave. South Africa abides by the ILO Convention 183, which states that a woman is entitled to maternity leave of no less than 14 weeks, but the country has not taken up a recommendation to extend maternity leave to at least 18 weeks. Sweden is the most generous when it comes to parental leave – mothers and fathers can share 16 months at home with their baby. At least we are not in Tunisia, which offers the shortest maternity leave of just one month. In short: Issue #1: Four Months Is Not Enough Time Four months is not nearly enough time with your new baby, and it is definitely not enough time for your body to heal. It took about 2-years for my body to get back to normal after I had our daughter – I am not at all saying we need two years maternity leave, but you can imagine how much strain it will put on your body going back to work after just three/four months. Most moms suggested that six months would be sufficient time for them while others brought up the models of Canada and Sweden which allows parents to take up to a year maternity leave to be split between parents as they see fit. You also get those superhuman beings like Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo who went back to work only two weeks after giving birth to her first child, but I am not going to give my personal opinion on that one. I feel like after four months you are just getting used to being a mom, and then you have to leave your baby and go to work… it is quite cruel. Needless to say, this becomes more tricky if you have a premature baby or if your baby is seriously ill. Issue #2: Breast Is Best? Our country goes above and beyond to promote breastfeeding for as long as possible and mothers are shamed and looked down upon for turning

December 15, 2014

I Am Not Fat… I’m Pregnant. 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

“Wow, you are getting HUGE!” “Oh, are you sure you’re not having twins?” “You’re only 24 weeks pregnant? How much bigger can you get?” “For someone who pretty much only eats salad you sure are gaining a lot of weight” “You look like you’re about to pop any minute!” …no… I still have about 15 weeks to go… These are some of the comments I get on a daily basis at work… from +/- 80 staff members… every…single…day. My husband doesn’t get why it upsets me so much, you’re pregnant, right? Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s the hormones.. but it’s the words that are used and the intention behind them that bothers me. Am I the only one having this problem? I am very aware of how pregnant I am, and I am not stupid… I know I’m getting fat. I was also not the skinniest person going into this pregnancy, but you already have to deal with stretch marks, being uncomfortable, itchy skin, swollen boobs, pimples and not knowing what to wear not to mention growing a human being for crying out loud. I guess I am mostly angry because I’ve been feeling so good.. My first pregnancy was a NIGHTMARE. You know that beautiful, glowing woman on the cover of a magazine looking lovingly at her perfectly tanned, perfectly round baby bump? That was not me. At all. This time around, however, I feel really good. Or at least I did. I am much bigger than when I was pregnant with my daughter and in the past 24 weeks I have gained about 10 kg’s. I also have a massive amount of water retention in my legs which makes them look like tree stumps and my hair and skin is an absolute mess. Am I being used as some totem of self-hatred, are they fascinated with my weight gain as a way of feeling better or worse about themselves? Is this what society has become? When women transform into the bloated, beautiful beasts we become during pregnancy, we are all of a sudden open to public comments — and everyone is a critic. Although we realize that we are selflessly giving our bodies for the creation of a new life and all that, it seems that the general public does not remember that there’s still a real woman in there, behind the baby – a real woman with real feelings about her body. At 24 weeks pregnant with my second child I would like to believe I’ve finally gained some perspective and a thicker skin about the surprising and insensitive things that people say to woman in one of her most fragile times. In my bid to educate society and hopefully prevent even just one other mamma-to-be feel the way I was feeling, here is 10 things you should NEVER do or say to a pregnant woman: 1.”Was it planned?” (Translation:Do you have sex regularly? Were you using birth control? Do you have a basic understanding of the human reproductive system? Or were you just being irresponsible?) Does it really matter whether someone was taking ovulation tests, having sexy time with their husband and then elevating their pelvis or whether they got drunk & screwed their boyfriend in the bathroom of a dodgy club? It really doesn’t at this point, and it’s none of your business. 2. “Are you sure there is just one baby in there?” (Translation: You are fat) I am sure that my gynecologist who has been a specialist in her field for the past 15 years can read an ultrasound properly, you idiot. 3. “Wow, you are getting HUGE.” (Translation: You are really fat) Thank you, I didn’t notice. I thought I was just pregnant. 4. “You are having your second baby? But you are so young…” (Translation: You child, you don’t know what you are doing) And you are so old. 5. “You are calling him/her what? I don’t that name, I think you should call him/her…” (Translation: You have bad taste) Oh okay, then I won’t name it that. Nobody cares that a girl named Angela took your chocolate chip cookie in grade two so don’t lift up the tarp covering your mental baggage. No-one asked you… please keep your opinion to yourself. Even if you are asked, lie. 6. Sushi. (Translation: I want to make you cry.) Don’t even think about it in my presence. 7. Unauthorized belly rubs! (Translation: I do not care about your personal space) When did this become okay?? Hands off the belly! 8. “Should you really be eating that? “ (Translation: You obviously do not have your child’s best interest at heart) You are very…very brave… 9. “Why are you having a C-section? You will miss out on the beautiful bonding experience of natural birth.” (Translation: You are going to be a bad mother) First of all, not all of us have a choice. My first baby was delivered via emergency C-section and therefore my doctor has decided that the safest way forward will be to deliver my second by C-section as well. Secondly, who are you to judge? There are multiple benefits to both C-sections as well as Natural birth…and once again, it has absolutely nothing to do with you whether I am going to have a stretched vagina or an ugly scar. Please mind your own business. 10. “Sleep now because you won’t get any when the baby gets here.” (Translation: Your life is over.) What the hell does this mean anyway? It’s not like you can bank sleep. It’s like saying “Don’t eat this year because an all-you-can-eat-buffet is opening up next March”. Plus, who says that the woman you’re saying this to is sleeping now? She may be a congested ball of heartburn, hemorrhoids and back pain so this kind of thing just adds insult to injury. The next time you see a pregnant woman, unless you are going to tell her how beautiful she looks, just keep your mouth shut. She doesn’t need to hear what you think about her size, her looks, her baby’s name, etc. You may think you’re witty but I can guarantee she does not.

December 12, 2014

The Dummy Mummy

So is a pacifier good or bad? My answer to this is it depends. Let’s start with the good…. Dummies have the wonderful ability to help trigger the sucking reflex in children and can also (according to Dr. Harvey Karb) help them access their calming reflex. It also gives breastfeeding mothers a wonderful rest from their children who seem to constantly want to suck on their tired and worn out breasts for comfort. “Contrary to popular belief, there are some positive effects that result from sucking on pacifiers,” says Jane Soxman, DDS, author of a pacifier study and Diplomate of the American Board of Paediatric Dentistry. “One, is that they assist in reducing the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Babies who are offered a pacifier do not sleep as deeply as those who sleep without a pacifier. Pacifier sucking makes it possible for the infant to be aroused from a deep sleep that could result in the stopping of breathing. Pacifiers also increase sucking satisfaction and provide a source of comfort to infants.” (Read more about this here) Now the bad…. The problem is that dummies are so very often overused by parents. Instead of the dummy becoming a “last resort” type of tool, moms use it for EVERYTHING. Baby says ah: dummy; baby says ooh: dummy; baby doesn’t say ANYTHING: dummy. If a parent continues to offer a baby or child a dummy without first establishing why the baby is crying, it can also cause a parent to misread a hunger cue or to fail to recognise his/her child’s needs at all. The World Health Organisation (WHO) does not recommend the use of dummies in breastfeeding infants (Australian National Breastfeeding Strategy 2010-2015) as research has found a relation between dummy use and babies not being breastfed for as long as those who were not introduced to a dummy. And unfortunately, the ugly…. When it comes to sleep, we have worked with a countless cases where a dummy has become a child’s sleep crutch or prop. The problem is that when a child transitions between sleep cycles at night, he/she would want the same “environment” as when they initially fell asleep. If a baby fell asleep with his/her dummy in the mouth and it has fallen out during the night, the baby wakes up mom or dad to help find it and put it back. The result is that parents are on dummy drill, and babies do not receive restorative and consolidated sleep. The following can also occur with the overuse of the dummy: Prolonged pacifier use and thumb sucking can cause problems with the proper growth of the mouth, alignment of the teeth and changes in the shape of the roof of the mouth. There is also an association between pacifier use and acute middle ear infections (Read more here). When used past the age of 12 months, dummies have been linked to speech problems in some children who may not have enough opportunity to babble and enunciate when younger and who talk with their dummies in their mouth as they get older. Using a dummy affects the development and indentations in the palate. Please remember: safety first: If you are going to use a dummy, use it correctly: The pacifier should be used when placing the infant down for sleep and not be reinserted once the infant falls asleep. Pacifiers should not be coated in any sweet solution. Pacifiers should be cleaned often and replaced regularly. For breastfed infants, delay pacifier introduction until 1 month of age to ensure that breastfeeding is firmly established. Pacifiers should never be used to replace or delay meals and should be offered only when the caregiver is certain the child is not hungry. Pacifiers should have ventilation holes and a shield wider than the child’s mouth (at least ¼ inches in diameter). Pacifiers should be one piece and made of a durable material, and should be replaced when worn, and never tied by a string to the crib or around a child’s neck or hand (Source). Different schools of thought: The “Teach Him To Get It Himself” Crowd The problem with teaching a child to put the dummy back in his mouth is that it won’t happen until at least 9 months. So you will have interrupted sleep (as well as your child) until your child reaches this age. There are certain groups that say, that even when you do teach your child to put it back in his mouth he is STILL getting interrupted sleep because he is looking for the dummy at night. The “It Helps For Reflux” Crowd Dummies are also known to help if a child has reflux. Some babies with reflux do not have a problem with food refusal; they eat and eat and eat. These babies find nursing to be soothing because each sip of milk washes down some acid from reflux. The problem may be that they continue to nurse long past the time they need to fill their tummies. They nurse to the point that they seem to vomit every time they eat. If this description fits your baby, pacifier use may be a help. If the pacifier is given when the baby is not nursing for food (sucking slowly and less frequently, with minimal swallowing), it may be soothing to him and also provide a relief to you. The careful use of a pacifier may help your baby keep from overfilling his tummy and subsequently vomiting (Source). Sucking on a pacifier can increase saliva production, which as an alkaline that helps neutralize some of the acid that may come up. To read more about pacifier use for children with Reflux click here. The “I Don’t Want My Child To Suck His Thumb” Crowd For babies, sucking on thumbs and fingers is a natural and intuitive process. Celebrate that they have the ability to self soothe and that they will be better sleepers as a result. Some parents have reported that

December 8, 2014

The Birth of a Baby – What No One Really Tells You

When I first discovered that I was pregnant I went through the usual emotional reactions; excitement, fear, wonder, elation and dread. As with everyone first time mother who waited so long to fall pregnant I was obviously thankful and excited about the new journey I was about to embark. However, every positive thought is coupled with some very negative ones: What if I miscarry again? What if there is something wrong with the baby? What the hell am I doing? How am I going to get it out? I, like most pregnant women, had a very definite idea in my head of how I was going to give birth. I decided quite early on that I wanted to have a natural birth without any drugs. In fact, my first appointment with my doctor sparked off my seven month long investigation in how to have the prefect natural birth as my doctor (unlike many out there) was pro-natural. Each month I arrived at my check-up with a list of questions for my doctor as I had taken to reading as much literature as possible to ensure a smooth birth. Here are some of the “facts” : Exercise during your pregnancy. If you keep fit, you will not only stay healthy but it will make labour and birth much easier. I was running and road cycling before I feel pregnant and kept going with light spinning, 5km run/walks and water aerobics right through to 40 weeks. Just remember to not overdo it and don’t take suddenly go balls to the walls if you didn’t exercise before pregnancy Eat well. Maintaining a healthy diet is not only important to have a healthy baby, but it will help you keep off those extra kilos that you really don’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a good supply of choccies on hand but I balanced it out with some decent food. As a result, I put on a smaller amount of weight compared to some of my counterparts Have a well-defined birth plan. I knew what I wanted and I ensured that my birthing team knew, too. Which leads me to my next point Surround yourself with a good birthing team. My hubby and I were on the same page. He knew my doctor and the two of them had a great relationship. We also chose to have a doula as part of our team. She provided support and wonderful massages prior to the birth and was there to support us when labour started right through to post-birth My doctor and I were on the same page but she always did mention that I should be open to the possibility of a C-section just in case. I did just that and sat through the C-section part of our ante-natal classes with minimum interest, but interest nonetheless. At this point I should mention why I didn’t want a C-section: I heard the recovery period is long and painful You have to rely on other people to drive you around for six weeks You have an unsightly scar You will always have belly afterwards due to weakened stomach muscles You have to have an epidural This last point was my biggest concern as I am not really a needle person at the best of times and seeing the C-section videos in the ante-natal class did not help my fears. I was even more determined to go au natural. As the weeks ticked by, everything was going smoothly. At around 32 weeks, the baby had turned and remained head down for the rest of my pregnancy. She was weighing in on the larger side but healthy and we were well on our way to the perfect birth. At 40 weeks (and in the height of a scorching Jozi Summer) I was given the news that this baby is BIG and also very comfortable in my belly. My doctor estimate that she was already 4.3kg and she was in no rush to “drop”, my cervix was also nowhere near ripening so natural birth was starting to look unrealistic. The doctor’s concerns were the size of the baby so she really didn’t want me going too far over my due date and that my blood pressure was started to rise. I still think that was due to the heat and the fact that she just mentioned C-section to me! We were then asked to pick a date during the course of the next week for the birth of our child. My doctor ensured us that she would do everything in her power to force a natural birth but we needed to be prepared. I gave myself exactly a week to do EVERYTHING within my power to get this kid out! My first call was to our faithful doula who rushed over and started with all her doula magic to get the kid to drop and come out: Essential oil cotton balls between my boobs Reflexology, the kind they tell you to avoid in case it induces contractions Spicy foods Long walks Chiropractic pelvic alignment Sex – ok my hubby helped with this one but it wasn’t pretty Nothing worked, this kid was comfortable. A week later, I went to the hospital with my labour bag, birthing ball, cooler-box, tens machine, hypo-birthing tracks, baby bag, hospital bag and daddy bag. My doctor checked my cervix which was still rock-hard and bless her heart she was still going induce me so I could feel labour. I declined. Instead of hours of painful and fruitless labour, I opted for the C-section. It was smooth, not nearly as frightening as I thought and quick. I had a beautiful, healthy baby girl weighing in at a whopping 3.85kgs. All my fears were forgotten and everything was as it should be. My advice to you is this: stop focusing on the birth, it will not go according to plan no matter how hard you try. If you have a great team of medical

December 5, 2014

Spit, snot and poo. Overcoming your fears

Let’s be honest. All babies do it and we knew for a fact that as dads we would have to deal with it sooner or later. And if you were anything like me, the mere thought of having to deal with any of these would have sent me running for the nearest hazmat suit to keep me protected. But once you actually hold the little bundle of joy in your hands, you come to the realisation that there is not a thing in this world that you would not do for your baby. And that’s when you man up and handle anything that gets thrown at you. Or leaks out. Or maybe even projectile vomited at you. So why is it that the things that some of us fear the most from babies are the things that are natural for them? Maybe if we knew a more, we would fear less. The never ending fountain of spit. This wondrous wonder comes in two different forms and from two different places. Clear saliva (drool) comes from the mouth while spit (whitish in colour and usually happens during or after feeding) comes from the tummy. Excessive drool usually is a sign of teething i.e. teeth pushing up through the gum. Drool also helps babies develop and grow. The drool they swallow helps neutralise stomach acid, lines and soothes the oesophageal lining and helps digest solid food. Spitting up (or vomit) is usually a result of GER or gastroesophageal reflux. This happens because the muscles at the bottom of oesophagus which lets food into the stomach is weak and allows food to escape back up. Whichever one it is, always have spare sets of clothing nearby, a burp cloth and about a million bibs because you are going to be changing these all the time. Is it clear or green? The snot question. If your toddler has clear stuff coming out of their nose, everything should be fine and this could point to newborn congestion (all the gunk is just working its way out), allergies, exposed to the cold or smoke. If the discharge is greenish or yellowish, your little one could have a cold or the flu. Bleeding from the nose, unpleasant smelling gunk (no idea why I said “unpleasant” because that would imply you get “pleasant” smelling gunk) and pain could mean that your baby has managed to find something small and stashed it in a secret hiding place for later. It may be tricky to stop the flow, but knowing what’s causing it may help you in treating it. Various items such as nasal aspirators, rubber bulb syringes and saline solution may ease the congestion. I even read of one mum who placed her mouth over the baby’s nose and just sucked it out! And like everything else, if you are not sure or concerned, seek professional advice. The truth about baby poop. “Where’s does it all come from? She just pooped a minute ago! She pooped again WHILE I was changing her nappy! I don’t remember him eating that!” These are questions that all parents go through. Each baby is different and therefore all bodily functions will be different. While most babies poo everyday, it is also acceptable for babies to poo every three days. Babies who are fed on formula, poo less often than breast fed babies. The first few poos after baby is born are always almost black and sticky (called the meconium and sometimes require an entire packet of wet wipes to clean). The poo than becomes greenish brown and turns to bright mustard colour afterwards. Examining your babies nappy, and trust me you eventually will with a fine tooth comb, provides a wealth of information about their state of health. Overly runny stools may indicate diarrhoea and pellet like stools may indicate constipation. Red, black and white stools require an immediate consultation with you doctor as red poo usually contains blood in it, black poo usually contains digested blood and white poo indicates a problem with bile production. My suggestions for handling poo is DO NOT take a deep breath and just deal with it. Within a few weeks you will be an expert on diaper changing and even have a routine you will follow. I was a bit OCD about diaper changes and would lay out everything beforehand (wet wipes, cotton swabs, nappies, bum cream and plastic bag for the dirty nappy) like I was preparing an operating theatre. The last thing you would want is a case of explosive diarrhoea (oh yes, that is a real thing!) and only to find it is the last wet wipe in the packet. So… spit, snot and poo. Every parent eventually gets over their fears and deals with it. The person who may have once started off armed with a gas mask and a pair of braai thongs for a diaper change now finds themselves scarily comfortable discussing the colour and consistency of their baby’s poo. Your fears are overcome and anything that leaks, is projectile vomited or has the radioactive smell of a nuclear explosion will be caught with a wet wipe, tissue and in extreme cases even your bare hands. That is the strength of unconditional love and joy.

December 2, 2014

The Benefits Of Breastmilk For A Premature Baby

All babies will benefit tremendously from breastmilk. But, for a premature baby, these benefits are so much more important. No other nourishment can compare to breastmilk and your preemie will need all the nourishment he can get. Your breastmilk is tailor made for your baby and for this specific time. What this means is that the milk that you are producing right now is special ‘preemie milk’ formulated just for your premature baby. Preterm milk contains higher concentrations of fat, energy, protein, calcium, potassium, magnesium, sodium, chloride and iron. It is very different to the milk that a mother of a full term infant would be producing, No other milk can come close to what you are making and as your baby grows and develops, so your milk will change and develop too. Even though your baby may have come a little early, your body can and will continue to nurture and nourish him every step of the way. Whats in it? Immunoglobulins: Immunoglobulins are large protein molecules produced in the lymph tissue, these function as antibodies in the immune system. During the last trimester of pregnancy, immunoglobulins cross over the placenta and are stored by your baby. These are then used to protect a newborn against infections for up to 6 months following birth. Now while your prem baby may not benefit from this in utero, you can still provide him with immunoglobulins through breastmilk. Since premature babies are more susceptible to infections and disease, this is a very important benefit. Protein: Protein is vitally important for growth and development in your baby. Babies need protein in order to maintain, repair and make new cells. There are two types of proteins present in breastmilk – Casein (20-40%) and Whey (60-80%). The remarkable balance of these proteins is what makes breastmilk so easy to digest. This means that your baby is using less energy for digestion and is therefore able to use more energy for growth. Fat:Fat is an absolute necessity for your baby. Fats aid in brain development, absorption of fat-soluble vitamins and this is of course your baby’s primary source of calories. Long chain fatty acids are crucial for brain, retina and development of the nervous system. Carbohydrates:Lactose is the primary source of carbohydrate in human milk. Many make the mistake of assuming lactose is bad for the human body, when it is actually very important – especially for your preemie. Lactose helps to minimise the amount of unhealthy bacteria in the stomach which in turn improves the absorption of minerals such as calcium and magnesium. Lactose will also promote growth of healthy bacteria in your baby’s gut. Minerals: Sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron and zinc (to mention a few) are all present in breastmilk, the amazing thing is that breastmilk also contains facilitators for each of these minerals making absorption of minerals that much more efficient. Calcium: Builds strong bones, promotes healthy nerve and muscle function, helps blood clot, and helps the body convert food into energy. Iron: Important for healthy brain, cognitive and neurological development. Iron is also a key component of haemoglobin, a protein which helps red blood cells deliver oxygen from the lungs to tissues throughout the body. Magnesium:Keeps bones strong and the heart rhythm steady, supports the immune system, and helps maintain muscle and nerve function. Potassium: Works with sodium to control the body’s water balance, which helps maintain blood pressure. Assists with muscle function and heart rhythm and, in later years, may reduce the risk of kidney stones and osteoporosis. Zinc:Needed by more than 70 enzymes that aid digestion and metabolism, and essential for growth. In summary, breast milk is hugely beneficial for your preterm baby because of its unique protein structure, its ability to promote fat absorption, and its pattern of fatty acids that promote growth and development both physically and neurologically. Unlike any other milk. Some may argue that growth is slower for babies who are fed breastmilk than those who are fed artificial milk, however, this growth rate is generally extremely close to the rate that a child would continue to grow in utero. Now, while you are focusing on giving your baby the best of the best, you may not realise that you are doing exactly the same thing for yourself. Psychologically, moms who provide breastmilk for their babies feel more connected to them, bond better with them and feel more fulfilled in their role as a mother. You may not be unable to hold or even touch your baby for the time being, but you are still able to feed him. You are still able to provide him with the best possible nutrition, you are able to manufacture food for your child that no other human on earth can replicate. In this way, you are able to bond with your baby, in this way you are able to touch him and impact his life, in this way you are able to give him everything that he needs in this very moment. You are his mom and you are doing a fantastic job!

November 5, 2014

The Wonderful Journey Into Pregnancy – What a load of “beep”

I wouldn’t say I battled to fall pregnant but I didn’t exactly think it was easy. We went through the usual motions; I went off the pill in March and had a lot of fun “trying” over the next few months. In November, I had my routine annual check-up and my doctor gave me some blood work forms to be used if I wasn’t knocked up by March. The reason for this is because the WHO classifies you as infertile if you haven’t conceived in 12 months. TWELVE MONTHS?! I thought that to be a bit overdramatic! Nonetheless, I headed home with my forms and realized that this baby making business is just that, a business and a nasty one at that. I downloaded a Blackberry application that allowed me to input my cycle data and gave me an indication of my peak ovulation days. These days were highlighted green and became our guide to baby-making. It soon became a standing joke within our group friends that if we left a event early, they all claimed excitedly that it was a “green day”. In January, while at the GP for a strained ankle I found out that I was pregnant. Oh happy days! I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment for my very first scan, at 8 weeks. Unfortunately, I never got to keep that appointment as I miscarried at 7 weeks. There was no actual reason. It wasn’t anything I had done. Instead the baby had just stopped growing. I found out that more pregnancies end in miscarriage than I ever imagined, in fact some women don’t even know they are pregnant when they miscarry. It took me a week of tears, self-deprecation and chocolate, but I managed to pick myself back up. And so the baby-making adventure continued. It took two holidays, a resignation and a lot of beer but I was pregnant by the end of April and this time it stuck around. It all worked out in the end but it did take over a year to finally get everything going. And during that challenge I always found it extremely unfair that some of my close friends managed to have accidental pregnancies. Don’t get me wrong as I love those kiddies but I hated that nature made it so difficult for me to fall pregnant when I was trying so damn hard and my lovely friends just looked at their partners and conceived. I had an amazing pregnancy and birth in comparison to many people so maybe my troubles are in conception as opposed to having pregnancy quirks or nags. This fact is starting to ring true in the conception of number 2. In March of this year we made the decision to get cracking as our little girl was well out of her baby phase and well into toddler-hood. Add on 9 months and she would be the perfect big sister. This time round we started with the ovulation Blackberry app straight away and got to work. Each month, I religiously check dates, looked out for ovulation signs and went through the motions of making baby number two. It is now October and still nothing. This past week I bought an ovulation kit to determine if my “green days” really are optimal conception days and I failed all 5 tests that were in the kit. It would appear that my “green days” are complete fakes and that the past eight months have been for naught. I recently heard that the WHO considers you infertile if you aren’t pregnant after 6 months when you are trying for your second child. COME ON! I think it may be about time to dust those blood work forms off.

November 4, 2014

The Curse Of The Short Nap

I honestly do not know why we always tell moms: “Sleep when your baby sleeps”. I remember when my son was little; when he eventually fell asleep, that gave me enough time to race to the toilet, and hurriedly gulp down a cup of tea! I would mission off to my bedroom to “sleep because my baby is sleeping”, but it would take me ages to fall asleep, and then, when I finally managed to drift into a sweet slumber… he would wake up. All of this turmoil in only 45 minutes, only to start the cycle again!?!?! Sound familiar? Why is the 45 minute cycle the hallmark of a newborn’s sleep? 45 minutes is the sleep cycle for a newborn. Adults typically have a longer sleep cycle, stretching for approximately 90 minutes. At the end of each sleep cycle, a baby is in a very light sleep state and may even momentarily wake up before entering into a new cycle. This light sleep is where most of the problems arise. Interestingly enough, babies spend more time in REM sleep than adults – read more about it here. But what can we do to help our children sleep for longer? In order to encourage a longer nap you need to first ask yourself a very important question: Did my baby fall asleep in the same place she ended up? Most of the time the answer to this question is “no”. She fell asleep in my arms, and then I moved her to the crib. The tricky thing about this is that people don’t usually like to wake up somewhere different from the place they fell asleep. On some level our bodies know or sense the difference, therefore we wake up with a start, and this is often why babies cry! Here are a few tips for helping your child sleep longer: Make sure your baby is in the same place when she falls asleep as she is when she wakes up. This will help prevent her startle reflex, and ease the transition from one sleep cycle to the next. Let your baby is do most of the work of getting to sleep in the first place on her own. If you always feed her to sleep, then again, you can see why she may not like it when she gets to the end of the sleep cycle and there is no bottle or breast nearby. This will also cause a baby to wake up startled and then start crying. Play around with your baby’s awake time. Every baby has a window of opportunity for successful sleep. This means it’s a time when your child is already tired enough to be put down, but not overtired. Don’t forget that it is possible to put a baby down too early, which will mean that they won’t take a proper nap. If you have taken steps to encourage your baby to sleep soothe, and she is falling asleep in her crib, then congratulations because most of the battle has already been won. The good news is that with time and practice, he will have a much easier time getting from one sleep cycle to the next, and should start to sleep longer and longer for each nap over the course of two to three weeks.

October 27, 2014

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