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Advice from the experts

New Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls – Hugwear for moving babies

Babies can’t tell us whether they are comfortable or not or what they would rate as important features in a nappy, especially once they start exploring their surroundings and moving around more frequently. Movement can be as simple as rolling from side to side in their cribs or as strenuous as crawling or running from point to point. If you had to stop and consider what would be important factors when it comes to choosing clothes for yourself, it would be safe to assume that a good fit that does not restrain you and allows you to move freely would form part of your final decision making process. Why should it be any different when choosing a nappy that ticks all of these boxes, with the addition of a dry bottom? It becomes even more important to put your moving baby in a comfortable nappy when knowing that research has found that moving babies can move up to 3km per day. 3km a day is a considerable distance; it could be the distance from your home to your little one’s school or your favourite grocer. Walking there with a pair of uncomfortable shoes or jeans that are rigid and restricting will have most people giving up altogether or making a vow to never do it again. Luckily with new Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls your little one will not give up on moving to their hearts’ content as they will be comfortable. “Knowing that little boys and girls come in different shapes and sizes, Huggies® Gold now has a stretchy waistband and stretchy fasteners for a comfortable fit. They keep babies wrapped in a hug as comfy as the one from their mom. Our new nappies can best be described by saying they are “Hugwear for moving babies”, says Morné van Emmenes, Brand Manager for Huggies® Gold. “Babies wearing Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls will have the freedom to stretch, roll, bend, crawl, run and do whatever they chose to do without any hindrance.” Apart from offering a snug and comfy fit, Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls also has a DryTouch TM liner which is ultra-soft for ultimate skin protection. It draws wetness away from your baby in seconds, distributing the fluid evenly inside the absorbent core. The nappies still provide special tailored absorption, accommodating the differences between boys and girls, with the unique Huggies® Gold nappy shape, made to fit like underwear to facilitate extra contentment. The soft, breathable designs have pictures of ©Disney’s Mickey and Minnie Mouse to suit your little Boy or Girl. Next time you are out shopping for nappies, pay attention to that scratchy clothing tag that has been bothering you the whole day, the blister on your foot from the not so comfortable new shoes and think about continuing for another 3km. Send your moving baby off with a hug, send them off in Hugwear for moving babies. Available at major retailers, Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls comes in four sizes: size 3 (6 – 10 kg); size 4 (8 – 14 kg); size 4+ (12 – 16 kg) and size 5 (15+ kg). The product is on offer in a bag and a megabox. Compliment nappy changes with Huggies® Wipes, unlike other wipes on the market, they are made from three layers of a unique material that contains 65% natural fibres. Made with a cotton-like base sheet, 99% water and a formulation with no added nasties like alcohol or parabens they clean gently, locking away the mess and quickly refreshing baby’s sensitive skin.

December 1, 2016

20 Things To Remember As A Couple With A New Baby

The baby books have been read and now neatly stored on the book shelf. The baby showers are over and the initial panic has subsided…sort of. In the middle of the emotions that you go through as you welcome your new addition to the family, certain things need a special mention… Take deep breaths. Life can be overwhelming and in certain situations, stop, take a deep breath and continue. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ever. You may not want to cut your baby’s nails because you are afraid of hurting her. However, if you don’t cut your baby’s nails, she will end up hurting herself…and you! Talk to each other. If something is bothering or upsetting you, talk about it. This is a whole new chapter of learning and understanding, keeping stuff in will only lead to an unnecessary blowout later on. Figure out which white noise calms your baby and make it available on every device in your home and car. This is a simple lifesaver. Ours is the noise of a fan. Once baby is in bed at night, sit and watch an episode of your favourite series together. This takes your mind away for a short while and relaxes you. Remember not to punch people who say, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” They clearly don’t know what they are talking about. Ignore anyone who tries to make you feel bad about any decision you and your wife make regarding your baby. Everyone has a different opinion anyway. Make a decision together and go with it. Keep a to-do list. Add things that need to be done or bought. This will help you prioritize everything in order of importance and stop that overwhelming feeling of ‘where the hell do we start’ Stock up on dummies. Seriously. Misplacing a dummy can lead to panic attacks. Eat dinner together. Always. Even if it’s at 9pm. Always check the nappy, it’s often the reason for a fuss. Don’t beat yourself up over every little thing. After all, babies have really low expectations. If she is wearing a nice outfit, it is likely that your baby will poop. If you are wearing a nice outfit, it is likely that your baby will poop. Don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s OK to go to bed without washing the dishes or brushing your teeth. Don’t be afraid to cancel plans that you have already committed to, having a baby is completely unpredictable, friends and family will understand. Take each and every minute in, the time goes by so fast, faster than you realize, treasure every cry and every hard day, every giggle and every smile. Get out of the house. Even if it’s just a walk to the mailbox. Cabin fever can set in fast when you have a newborn around. Remember YOU are doing a great job, you are the very best parent your child will ever have!

November 30, 2016

The monster around your middle

Metabolic syndrome is a health condition that everyone’s talking about. Although it was only identified less than 20 years ago, metabolic syndrome is as widespread as pimples and the common cold. It is estimated that around 20-25 per cent of the world’s adult population have metabolic syndrome. Indeed, metabolic syndrome seems to be a condition that many people have, but no one knows very much about. So what is this mysterious syndrome — which also goes by the scary-sounding name Syndrome X — and should you be worried about it? Keep reading for some insight. UNDERSTANDING METABOLIC SYNDROME Metabolic syndrome is not a disease in itself. Instead, it’s a collection of the most dangerous risk factors: high blood sugar, pre-diabetes, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, high blood pressure and abdominal (tummy) fat. Obviously, having any one of these risk factors isn’t good. But when they’re combined, they set the stage for serious problems. People with metabolic syndrome are twice as likely to die from and three times as likely to have a heart attack or stroke compared with people without the syndrome. They have a fivefold greater risk of developing type 2 diabetes!! The underlying cause of metabolic syndrome continues to challenge the experts but insulin resistance and central obesity (excess tummy fat) are considered the most significant factors responsible for this syndrome. What comes first, the chicken or the egg? Insulin resistance is very often the starting point of metabolic syndrome. Insulin is a hormone that helps your body convert food into glucose and enter your cells to be used as fuel. Insulin resistance occurs when cells in the body (e.g. muscle cells) become less sensitive and eventually resistant to insulin. Glucose can no longer be effectively absorbed by the body cells and therefore remains in the blood, so your body keeps making more and more insulin to cope with the rising level of glucose in an attempt to process the glucose. Eventually, this can lead to diabetes. Even long before diabetes happens, excessive amounts of insulin is causing damage to the body. The dangerous part of this syndrome is the long term effects of raised insulin levels to your blood vessels often leading to premature heart attacks, strokes and type II diabetes. METABOLIC SYNDROME – ARE YOU A VICTIM? To identify if you have metabolic syndrome it is necessary to take a few basic measurements. There are five risk factors that make up metabolic syndrome. To be diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, you would have at least three of these risk factors. Body Mass Index (BMI) BMI of 30kgm/m2and higher Waist circumference For men: 102cm or larger For women: 88cm or larger Cholesterol: High Triglycerides Either 1.7mmol/L or higher or Using a cholesterol medicine Cholesterol: Low Good Cholesterol (HDL) Either For men: Less than 1.03mmol/L For women: Less than 1.3mmol/L or Using a cholesterol medicine High Blood Pressure Either Having blood pressure of 135/85mm Hg or greater or Using a high blood pressure medicine Blood Sugar: High Fasting Glucose Level 5.6mmol/L or higher Even if you don`t have these measurements available it`s possible for you to know if you are at risk by asking yourself a few basic questions. The American College of Endocrinologist has identified that if you have 2 of the following risk factors you are at risk for developing metabolic syndrome, or may have insulin resistance already: You have ever been diagnosed with coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, polycystic ovarian syndrome, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. You have a family history of type II diabetes, high blood pressure or coronary heart disease. For women: you have a history of pregnancy-related diabetes or impaired glucose tolerance in pregnancy. You have a sedentary lifestyle and do not engage in regular exercise. You are overweight with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of greater than 25kg/m2 OR if you have a waist circumference measurement greater than 102cm (male) or greater than 88 cm (female). You are older than 40 years of age. CAN METABOLIC SYNDROME BE REVERSED? YES!! Controlling and normalising insulin levels is key to improving metabolic syndrome. Physical activity, weight loss and healthy food choices help the body respond better to insulin. Studies showed by losing weight (through cutting carbohydrates, fat, calorie intake) and being more physically active, people with metabolic syndrome may avoid or delay developing type 2 diabetes or suffering a stroke or heart attack. WHAT TO DO? Weight loss Research confirmed that people with metabolic syndrome can significantly improve their health by losing 5 to 10 percent of their body weight. Weight loss is often a difficult task when you are insulin resistant and have metabolic syndrome. Not only will you have cravings for carbohydrates most of the time, your body is resistant to fat breakdown due to the high amounts of circulating insulin. Normal weight loss diets and quick fixes are ineffective to aid weight loss seeing that the raised insulin levels are not treated. Not only do we need to decrease the calorie content of the diet, one need to look at what your diet consist of. Certain foods are known to worsen insulin resistance and others to improve insulin resistance. Rethink refined carbs and sugar Carbohydrates and sugar in your diet is known for increasing the amount of insulin in your blood. It is therefore necessary to exclude sugar as much as possible. The other concern lies with the amount of carbohydrates that is consumed per meal as well as during the whole day. Insulin levels can be dramatically increased by the amount of carbohydrate as well as the type of carbohydrate consumed. It is crucial to eat only carbohydrates which are low in Glycaemic index (GI). The Glycaemic Index is a ranking of foods based on their immediate effect on blood glucose levels. It is a physiological measure of how fast, and to what extent, a carbohydrate food (starch containing food) affects blood glucose levels. If the glucose reaches the blood stream quickly, your insulin levels will rise dramatically. Low GI foods will result in a smaller insulin response and help with losing

November 30, 2016

So what does dyslexia really mean?

(All information was obtained from Stark – Griffin’s book Dyslexia) Definition of dyslexia – A neurological-functional problem manifesting as a deficit in word decoding (reading), encoding (spelling) and nemkinesia (writing) due to a minimal brain dysfunction and/or differential brain function. More use full information regrading dyslexia Eidetic: give meaning to text in general and recognising words from previous experience. Phonetic: allocating a sound to each letter and using these sounds in groups to produce words. People suffering from dyslexia usually have an average to above average intelligence. 10% – 20% of all children suffer from dyslexia. Children suffering from dyslexia feel confusion, frustration, anxiety, withdrawl and compensating behavioural patterns. These children are often teased and humiliated by their classmates.Dyslexia may lead to poor self image and even depression. These feelings may manifest in behavioural problems which inlcude aggression, vandalism, disruption of class and a hostile attitude. Types of dyslexia Dysnemkinesia Deficit in the ability to develop motor engrams (memory trace) for written symbols Child wil revers letters A child should have no letter reversals by Gr. 4 When writing the alphabet 1 reversal is acceptable in Gr. 3 When writing the alphabet 3 reversals are acceptable in Gr. 2 When writing the alphabet 5 reversals are acceptable in Gr. 1 Dysphonesia Deficit in visual-symbol and sound integrations Child will struggle to read unknows words as he cannot decode them / will have difficulty spelling e.g. slow/solw, does/dose Dyseidesia This type of dyslexia is genetic Deficit in the ability to perceive whole words and to recognise words from previous experience. Child will struggle to read words that he cannot relate to a picture e.g. did / will struggle to read sight words / will struggle to read word that cannot be divided /will spell word the way they sound e.g. does/duz Dysphoneidesia Mix between dysphonesia and dyseidesia Dysnemkinphonesia Mix between dynemkinesia and dysphonesia Dysnemkineidesia Mix between dysnemkinesia and dyseidesia Dynmemkinphoneidesia Mix between dysnemkinesia, dysphonesia an dyseidetia One has to rule out the following deficits before a diagnosis of dyslexia can be made: Problematic vision and/or eye muscle functioning Impaired visual perceptual skills Impaired auditive perceptual skills Cognitive impairment Emotional problems/psychological factors Attention deficit disorder Health factors: e.g. nutrition, infections, allergies, trauma Environmental factors Treatment The child needs to be evaluated by a professional (usually an occupational therapist/speech therapist/educational psychologist/optometrist) that is registered with RADA (Red Apple Dyslexia Association). The test used is called the Dyslexia Test developed by Stark-Griffin. If dyslexia is identified it needs to be specified which type of dyslexia as each one has a different treatment approach. All types of dyslexia can be improved although the percentage differs from person to person. Dyseidesia cannot be 100% cured as it is genetic. Dysphoneidesia is the most difficult type of dyslexia to treat. Dysnemkinesia is easily treated. Build on the child’s strengths and later give attention to the weaknesses. Work around the problem to improve reading/writing and spelling. Famous dyslexics No matter what your dissability – you can still be successful !!! Just look at these famous dyslexic people: Pable picasso Tom cruise Richard Branson Leonard daVinci Thomas Edison Whoopi Goldberg Development of the child checklist The Developmental checklist will assist you in determining whether you child is functioning according to his/her age level. Download your order form Here It is divided into 29 categories namely: Movement (Activities of daily living) Communication skills (Cognitive skills) Personality traits / temperament (Playing) Ball skills (Coordination) Perception (Grasps & hand function) Basic concepts (Body concept) Number concept (Form concept) Colour concept (Size concept) Building with blocks (Working with beads) Cutting with scissors (Drawing / painting) Drawing a person (Picture-reading) Story-time (Writing) Eating / feeding (Sleeping) Prepositions (Senses) Teeth When determining if your child is developing according to his/her age level it is important to remember that each child is unique. Each child develops at his/her own pace; therefore no 2 children’s milestones will be achieved at exactly the same time. Please give a 2 – 3 month leeway to either side of the time frame given (e.g. if it says that a child has to walk when he is 1 year old it can mean that the child may start walking when he is 9 months old or 15 months old). When you see that your child has a delay in more than 2 important areas, please consult your developmental paediatrician and take him/her for an occupational therapy assessment. A child that has a developmental delay usually reaches a plato when 12 years old. Thus it is so important that a child receives therapy from as early an age as possible.

November 28, 2016

Why Reading With Your Child Is So Important – 5 Tips to Make it Even More Beneficial

There is such a sense of joy, warmth and togetherness that comes when we read with our children. It is a time when we can cuddle up together and let our minds float to the places the story takes us. This is a time for bonding with your child; a time when you are both relaxed, unhurried and un-harried. By spending some quality bonding time doing reading together, you are also giving your child a deep-seated love of reading. Your child learns that reading opens doors to the imagination and he can learn interesting facts about his world just by reading a book. Reading is such an important life skill, that helping your child learn to read and to enjoy reading is one of the keys to helping him onto the path of success. Here are five tips to help you and your child get the most from reading together: Make sure your child is sitting next to you and can see the words and pictures. Even if your child is too young to have begun learning to read, you will be improving his concept of printed words. By looking at the picture and trying to see all the details described in the story, he will be developing his visual perception in preparation for reading. If your child has already begun learning to read, you can point out some of the words he has learnt; this reinforces his learning and helps him realise how useful it really is to be able to read the different words because he sees them in the story which he is enjoying with you. Use the story as an opportunity to discuss aspects of his own life. Link the story to concepts he is beginning to learn, such as sharing with friends, avoiding conflict, good sportsmanship, or coping with bullies. By relating to the story, you can open discussion in a relaxed way. Talking about the characters in the story, rather than directly about him, helps your child feel safer to share his concerns. Stories do not only have to be about morals and coping skills, simply sharing views and thoughts with each other on how the characters are behaving, laughing together at their mistakes, yet noting what they could have done if they were wiser, gives you so many fun, light-hearted and relaxed opportunities to discuss life, behaviour and morals with your child. Paired reading. This is a great way to support your child once he has begun to learn to read. You begin reading a book which is at his level of reading. He must follow the words you read with his eyes (no pointing allowed) and then you suddenly stop reading and he has to carry on for awhile. He then stops and you have to carry on. This helps him learn to track with his eyes while you read more smoothly and slightly faster than he can. He therefore learns to improve the flow of his reading; similarly, he also learns to read with tone. You will probably find that he initially only wants to read a couple of words before stopping to make you take your turn. This is fine at first but as he develops his reading skill, you can make a rule that no-one can stop before having read a whole line, or two lines. When the story is finished, ask him which parts were his favourite. This helps him build his memory and comprehension. He must not feel that this is a test. He must know that you enjoyed the story as much as he did and that you are enjoying thinking back on the fun things that happened in the story. Find words. At the end of the story, choose about two or three words that are new to him but within his reading capability. Point them out to him and see if he can sound them out, then ask him to see how many times that word appears on the page or even on the next three pages. This builds his reading vocabulary as well as developing his visual figure-ground perception for written words. Figure-ground perception is the ability to notice the figure (or word, or letter) against the background and is very important for reading text. Remember that children learn best when they are having fun. Spending time with you and enjoying the written word together is the best way you can instil a love of reading. Many of the children who come to me for therapy first need me to undo their fear of learning to read; they associate reading with a sense of failure. That is why I decided to write a book for parents, sharing my methods which use therapeutic strategies and fun to reduce the barriers to learning to read. For those of you interested in finding out more about my methods, go to: http://sharonstansfield.weebly.com/unique-reading-program.html Reading is communication. It is how we communicate over distance and even time. By reading, we are able to learn from people far away or even those who died before we were born. It is a crucial life skill and every child deserves the best input to help them enjoy reading.

November 25, 2016

The perfect packing list for sleepover camps

Packing correctly for camp is actually one of the most significant things that will determine whether your child’s camping experience is enjoyable or not. It’s all about getting the essentials right. Packing for your child’s holiday camp can really become a complicated task if you don’t know what to expect. It’s sometimes difficult to get the balance right between what your child needs to survive and enjoy camp and what is luxury. Some parents pack too little as they expect an informal “survival camp” where all they need is the clothes on their back. Other parents seem to pack the entire household as they expect that their child won’t survive if they don’t have everything in their bedroom. Here are some packing essentials that you should always pack in your child’s luggage before they head over to a sleepover camp: 1. Checklist of things to do before packing: It’s important to ask the camp about their luggage restrictions, as you may not be able to pack some luxury items like skateboards etc. Ensure that all your child’s clothing and personal items are clearly labeled with your child’s full name. 2. Medication: One of the most important things you need to send with your child is definitely their emergency/chronic medication. This would include Asthma pumps, Cortisone, Epipens, and ADHD medication etc. This medication needs to be carefully packed in an easily accessible, zip lock bag with a clear description and dosage information. 3. Day bag with essentials inside: Have a backpack with essential items inside for your child’s daily activities: Water bottle Sun Stick/Sun block lotion Bathing Costume Beach Towel Peak Cap/Sun Hat Flip Flops Takkies/Trainers Raincoat/Waterproof jacket Insect Repellent 3. Clothing: Old, inexpensive, casual clothing is the best type of clothing for camp. Skirts and dresses aren’t recommended for camp. Every camper should have the following items packed in their bags in the quantity relating to the number of days that they will be spending at camp: Shorts Tracksuit pants T-shirts Long-sleeved shirts Underwear Sleepwear Beanie Laundry Bag (To separate the clean stuff from the dirty. This can be a simple plastic bag.) 4. Personal / Toiletry Items: Even at camp, feeling fresh and clean makes you feel good. Personal hygiene is essential to enjoy the outdoor experience and keep all campers feeling confident throughout the day. The following items should be packed in a toiletry bag: Toothbrush and toothpaste Hair brush and shampoo Shower gel Deodorant and/or antiperspirant Bath Towel (In addition to a swimming towel) Shaving gear / Feminine Products/ Hair dryer (if applicable) 5. Other sleepover camp essentials: The primary purpose of camping is to relish the leisure of the outdoors and get in touch with nature in the company of other people. Below are a few other camping essentials you should to take to camp: Sleeping Bag Torch Pen & Paper Snacks An item of something that you enjoy doing. For example, a book if you enjoy reading, or a skateboard with your protective gear if you enjoy skateboarding). Simplify the preparation process by refering to this packing list when your child goes on their next sleepover camp. You can’t go wrong!

November 23, 2016

What is Klinefelters syndrome?

Klinefelters syndrome (KS) is not as rare as one may think, it is not life threatening but has life altering consequences. About one in 500 boys are born with an extra X chromosome, this affects learning, behaviour and growth. This was identified in 1942 by Dr Harry Klinefelter who was working with male patients at a hospital in Boston Massachusetts. This is a genetic condition where a male baby is born with 1 extra X chromosome. This due to an error in meiosis at conception known as meiotic nondisjunction. The condition is also known as XXY. Normal boys are XY while girls are XX. The KS baby develops an abnormal pituitary gland and hypothalamus part of the brain. Klinefelter syndrome is a random disorder and it is not hereditary. It appears that its occurrence may be linked to the age of either parent. It is not more prevalent in any specific race .This is the most common sex chromosome disorder. According to research done in Australia only about 20-30% of males with KS are ever diagnosed, partly due to the hesitancy of men to seek medical attention and the somewhat non-specific nature of the symptoms. Often men only find out they are KS when they present with fertility issues. They are almost always sterile. Unfortunately there is little awareness about the syndrome, even amongst health professionals, which often sends parents on a diagnostic odyssey trying to find out why their boys are different and the underlying cause remains unidentified. Another difficulty with it is that the symptoms are highly variable, sometimes subtle and sometimes not present at all. Only about 35% present with stereotypical symptoms but up to 80% have learning difficulties and behavioural issues. Many will have developmental delays and trouble with their muscles (low muscle tone) and motor skills. Dyslexia, reading difficulties and data retrieval problems are common. A large percentage are attention deficit (ADD) While their intellect is not compromised, their verbal IQ is below average, they often have difficulty expressing themselves. This often leads to frustration and angry outbursts. It is unclear whether some behavioural difficulties are directly caused by the syndrome or are exacerbated by early speech and learning difficulties. KS in very young boys is especially difficult to recognise and only at puberty do some of the more obvious signs begin to show. The physical characteristic common to all KS males is that they have very small underdeveloped testicles. It is because of this that they cannot produce enough testosterone to produce sperm. This androgen masculinising hormone is also responsible for producing secondary sexual characteristics. Other more common signs are: They are often somewhat taller than genetically expected, their limbs are slightly proportionately longer. They often have knock knees (genu valgum) and high arches (pes cavus). Taurodontism (Large molar teeth with thin enamel) is common. They will have more feminine fat distribution and rudimentary breast development, (gynecomastia) high pitched voice and sparse hair. They usually have “softer more girlish faces and are generally more sensitive than most boys, they tend to be emotional and cry easily. 33% of KS males experience psychosocial issues particularly shyness and low self-esteem. KS men also have added complications whereby they have a predisposition to developing diabetes, osteopenia and osteoporosis It must be noted however that Klinefelter syndrome does not affect sexual orientation. When correctly treated with supplemental testosterone KS men can have normal sexual relations in adulthood. If you suspect your son may be KS you will need to consult a geneticist. They will probably request blood tests which will include a karyotype. An endochrinologist will monitor further treatment. Klinefelters syndrome symptoms can be mitigated by correct intervention. Testosterone supplementation must continue throughout life. This can be administered by injection or with creams or a patch. If KS is identified early there is a better chance of normal development. A thorough psychoeducational examination will need to be conducted to determine what educational interventions are required as KS boys need assistance with the learning issues most of them have. A speech therapist can assist them and occupational therapy is recommended. Many KS boys also have motor dyspraxia. While this all may seem alarming particularly that the syndrome is so relatively common yet somewhat unrecognised there are some positives. These are wonderful sensitive human beings. They can be encouraged that they are usually taller than average, tend to keep their youthful looks, have better intuition and emotional skills than most men and usually get on really well with women. Further reading : www.xxy47.co.za www.andrologyaustralia.org www.checkyourballs.com.au www.csvxy.org Plus information taken from: Lawley pharmaceuticals KS info brochure 2016 Amy Herlihy BSc, Grad Dip Genetic counselling : Thesis 2010 Exploration of prevalence and psychosocial aspects of KS in the context of population based genetic screening.

November 22, 2016

Childhood obesity in South Africa to soar unless we act now

If obesity in South African children continues to increase at the current rate, 3.91 million school children will be overweight or obese by 2025. On world Obesity Day, the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa, together with the World Obesity Federation, calls for decisive action from government, private sector and parents. Today is the second annual World Obesity Day and the theme is Ending Childhood Obesity: Act today for a healthier future. The Heart and Stroke Foundation (HSFSA) supports the World Obesity Federation (WOF) in this initiative to stimulate and support practical actions to address obesity. South Africa’s obesity epidemic could be described as complex. Our country’s past of poverty, inequality and a lack of education, coupled with rapid urbanisation has created a vulnerable population amidst a nutrition transition. The population group that is most vulnerable to this ‘obesogenic’ environment is children. Both children of overweight parents and children subjected to malnutrition during pregnancy or infancy are likely to become obese later in life. Children are brought up in an era of energy dense foods, increasing screen time and sedentary behaviour. The World Health Organisation (WHO) reports the fastest growth of obesity in the African region, where childhood overweight and obesity has more than doubled from 1990 to 2013 1. Childhood obesity in SA – our girls at greatest risk According to the most recent national survey, 14.2% of primary school children are already overweight 2. This prevalence is highest at 30% in girls living in urban areas. Being overweight as an infant increases the risk of being overweight as a child, which in turn increases the risk of being overweight as an adolescent and adult. Results from the Birth to Twenty study in Soweto recently showed that girls who were obese between the ages of 4 – 6 years, were 42 times more likely to be obese as teenagers compared to their normal-weight peers! 3 Clearly interventions should already be addressed at infants and toddlers. Cultural beliefs and poor knowledge of the consequences of obesity lulls many parents into inaction. Childhood obesity is not prevented, recognized or treated adequately. New figures from the World Obesity Federation estimate that by 2025, 3.91 million South African school children will be overweight or obese. This will result in 123 000 children with impaired glucose tolerance, 68 000 with overt diabetes, 460 000 with high blood pressure, and 637 000 with first stage fatty liver disease 4. The global action plan The complexity of the obesity epidemic is often cited to explain the little success in turning the tide and perhaps as an excuse not to make the changes we know are necessary. The 2016 WHO Report on Ending Childhood Obesityclearly outlines a comprehensive action plan. Recommendations include addressing norms, treating children who are already obese, promoting intake of healthy foods and physical activity, improved preconception and pregnancy care, healthier school environments, and curbing the marketing of unhealthy foods. The South African Department of Health have incorporated these guidelines in their own Strategy for the prevention and control in South Africa of obesity framework. Childhood obesity is singled out within this strategy as a specific area of focus, “given the large perceived benefit the interventions may yield”. We can end obesity if we act now Obesity is not a complex problem, for we have the tools to address it. We can end the childhood obesity epidemic if we act together. The President of the World Obesity Federation, Professor Ian Caterson, calls for decisive action “If governments hope to achieve the WHO target of keeping child obesity at 2010 levels, then the time to act is now.” Government action In the National Obesity Strategic Framework, Deputy Minister of Health Dr Joe Phaalhla writes “…It is our responsibility to empower people to make informed decisions and to ensure that they have access to healthy food by raising awareness and increasing the availability of effective initiatives and interventions.” The Government has shown intent by announcing tax on sugar-sweetened beverages, strategies to increase school sport, and draft legislation to restrict the advertising of unhealthy foods to children. Swift and effective implementation of these policies are vital. Professor Caterson from the WOF urges governments to act “Introducing tough regulations to protect children from the marketing of unhealthy food, ensuring schools promote healthy eating and physical activity, strengthening planning and building rules to provide safe neighbourhoods, and monitoring the impact of these policies.” Private sector and in particular the food industry There is no singular solution for obesity, and involvement of all sectors is needed. Food industry and especially fast food restaurants – still largely unregulated – needs to become part of the solution by producing healthier products and meals that are lower in added sugar, salt and fat, and by partnering with government and civil society to make healthy food choices more affordable. Collective advertising spend on unhealthy foods and meals are staggering, overpowering education efforts by government and NGOs. The HSFSA calls on the food industry to realise the vital role they play in South Africa’s obesity epidemic. It is time to make a choice to either help or hinder- practicing responsible marketing of foods aimed at children is a good place to start. Parents and caregivers Professor Pamela Naidoo, CEO of the HSFSA implores primary caregivers “Parents have the single biggest influence over their children’s risk of obesity. Mothers should aim for a normal weight before pregnancy, appropriate weight gain during pregnancy, and exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. Parents should introduce healthy eating habits from six months onwards and lead by example to create an active lifestyle for the whole family.” Prof. Naidoo concludes “The HSFSA will continue its efforts to advocate for a healthier environment and create public awareness to prevent obesity as a major risk factor for heart diseases and strokes”. The Heart Mark is one such tool used to make it easier for consumers to make the healthier choice when faced with a variety of options at the supermarket. It helps

November 21, 2016

3 ways parents can keep their child’s device ‘clean’

Raising children in the digital age has become a little bit of a ‘ying-yang’ experience. Consider this, Dad is comfortable with his little angel getting the latest smartphone because she has done well in her academic year but, Mom doesn’t think it’s a good idea, considering the increased exposure she will have to the Internet. There is cyber criminals, uncontrolled content and cyber bullying, just as a start, to consider. What do you do as a family? Parenting has truly changed, not so long ago children played outside far more, whereas today approximately 56% of them now spend their time communicating with friends on social media platforms – a totally different reality. As a parent, wouldn’t you feel better knowing what your daughter or son is saying to his/her friends? Or what the online world is saying to them? Kaspersky Lab’s research shows that globally, 40% of children disclose sensitive information about themselves or family, which is not surprising, given that 28% of parents in South Africa feel they do not have any control over what their children see or do online. It’s not doomsday though, as we can all agree that the Internet is one of the best invention ever when it comes to finding anything and everything one needs – it just makes life easier. Today, however, given this, the responsibility lies with us, to ensure we educate our kids about staying safe while online and why it is important not to share any sensitive information, as well as how to avoid downloading any malware onto their smartphones or devices. It is not easy explaining this to a 6 or 10-year-old, but don’t avoid the subject because you think your children are too young – in fact the younger you start the conversation, the easier it will be for children to assimilate and understand your views. We understand that it is a challenging subject to address, however so is the reality and impact of cyber bullying or sextortion. The new Kaspersky Internet Security – multi-device 2017 – includes some features that will assist you in keeping your children safe. The Parent control feature – this feature will assist parents to monitoring online activities of their children. For example, as so many kids love to ‘check-in’ online – with this feature, as a parent, you can make this function private, as check-ins are another way cyber criminals keep track of their victims. Cleans apps – as downloading an app is easy, the Software Cleaner function in this solution informs parents when a child installs an app, both from a credible source, or even from a not so credible one. Upon receiving a report from Software Cleaner, you are able to either remove or leave the app on the device. Lastly, there is room for privacy – privacy should not only apply to adults, it applies to everyone who has a digital profile. The Secure Connection feature of this solution, ensures that your children connect to the Internet safely and that their data is protected. This feature will protect your child’s sensitive information. The new Kaspersky Internet Security – multi-device 2017 offers parents wanting to give their children access to the Internet, the ability to do so in a safe and controlled manner. Despite the risks, don’t avoid going online, but rather ensure you are informed and educating your family about cyber safety.

November 18, 2016

Why should we limit out children’s screen time?

Our kids are growing up in a technological age. They are confronted with tablets, smartphones, laptops, DSTV and so much more. Your phone is seen as part of your image and our kids want the latest and greatest. So why should we limit them? The biggest concern I have is that kids are not spending enough time outside playing. The reasons for this are: It’s not safe Preschools are focusing more on academic performance More and more screen time is available in different formats Safety In the society we live in in South Africa it is a valid concern that our kids are not safe to play outside by themselves any more. Kids are told to stay indoors and this force them to play stationary games or be involved in screen time. Screen time The inventors of children’s television shows and games/apps target the primitive brain. They use fast moving images and bright colours to target our visual system. They use loud and quickly changing sounds to target our auditory system. When I ask parents how long their child is able to concentrate they usually tell my ‘O he can watch television for hours’. This is not concentration ability!!!! This is your child’s primitive brain being targeted and activated. Our poor teachers have no way to compete with TV and games and apps and we wonder why our children cannot concentrate anymore and why ADD and ADHD is being diagnosed more frequently in our kids!!! According to research a child younger than 2 who watches television has a 15% higher risk of developing ADD/ADHD. Thus a child under 2 should not be exposed to ANY screen time. Another big concern is that parents don’t play with their children any more. Most families are dual income households and thus mom and dad work full day and are too tired to play with their kids. This is not ideal but this is what is happening. Out toddlers don’t know how to play any more as they are not used to thinking up games or spend time inventing games. Creativity suffers. We now have to teach our kids how to play house-house, how to play with cars and how to entertain themselves by playing in the garden. Screen time takes away creativity. Academic performance We as a society are placing more and more pressure on our children to grow up faster. Some pre-schools tend to focus more on academic performance like counting and getting to know the letters of the alphabet than playing outside. Children should be playing outside nearly all day long to facilitate the necessary skills they need for development. Benefits of playing outside: Bilateral integration Postural control Activating the proprioceptive system Activating the vestibular system Sensory integration Socialising Gross motor skills Eye-hand coordination Eye-foot coordination The impact of limited outside play: Poor postural control So what is postural control? It is the ability to have stability at your big joints and to maintain different postures. Our kids are not able to sit still any more. The reason for this is that they don’t get enough vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (deep-pressure) input. These 2 systems underwrite postural control. Children tend to slouch in their chairs, support their heads while doing table top tasks, exhibits fidgeting, rides on their chairs, changes their posture frequently while sitting. All of this is their bodies craving movement and deep pressure input. So what happens in class? Most teachers tell the learners to sit still. This will cause postural control to diminish thus postural control will decrease. Now the learner with spend so much energy and effort staying upright and still in the chair that no energy is left to pay attention to what the teacher is saying or to complete given work. These kids tend to rush through tasks or tire easily and fine motor skills then decrease thus they write untidily and make unnecessary mistakes. Poor vision Kids start using ipads /phones at a very young age, when the visual system is not yet fully developed and not able to withstand this prolonged visual demand at near. This leads to a generation that is becoming increasingly myopic (nearsighted), as we have seen in China in the last 20 years. Digital screens also emit a lot of blue light, which has been shown to cause premature aging to our eyes – our children will need reading glasses 10 years earlier than what we do, and research shows that degenerative eye diseases due to this excessive blue light exposure is happening at a much younger age (up to 15 years earlier than in the previous generation). Weight gain Obesity in our kids is getting out of hand! This leads to many other health and self-esteem issues Poor communication skills This affects their ability in making friends, initiating conversations and to resolve conflict So what can we as parents do? I am a mom myself and I know we sometimes use the television as a nanny. When we want to prepare a meal or have some time to ourselves it is easy to switch on the television and entertain the kids. When you have to do this please then make sure it is a program of some value and appropriate for your child’s age No screen time for kids under 2 years of age Children’s screen time should be limited to 1 hour daily while in primary school and to 2 hours when in high school Have certain times during the day when no screen time is allowed e.g. while eating dinner/having a braai No televisions/X-boxes allowed in children’s rooms Set the parental control on your television and internet (especially google) Spend time playing outside with your kids doing gross motor tasks e.g. kicking a ball, rolling down a hill, playing in the sand pit or sliding down a slide. Have their vision and eye-muscle functioning evaluated by an optometrist If you suspect that your child has poor postural control – take your child to an occupational therapist to assist you in improving this

November 17, 2016

What people without special needs kids need to know

Parenting is a tough job. Parenting a special needs child is a tougher one. And as human beings interacting with a special needs parent, we have the opportunity to make things a little bit better or a little bit worse. Here are some things you need to know if you’re hoping to do the former. It is rude to stare. Kids with special needs will often look different or behave differently to other children. This does not give you the right to stare, judge or gawp at them. These kids and their parents already have their plates full. They don’t need the added discomfort of your judgements. What to do instead? If you see a child having a meltdown in the shopping centre, how about asking the parent if there’s anything you can do to help. Don’t offer sympathy. It may seem strange to those of you not in this situation, but parents of special needs kids want to be treated like normal families – not like some charity case to be pitied. Yes they have bigger challenges, yes they have things they feel sad about, but they’re also proud of their kids, and have incredible gifts from their children that you could never understand if you didn’t stand in their shoes either. Never use insulting labels. Believe it or not, there are still people who will call a child a ‘retard’ or other such derogatory names. Please be aware of the language that you use and how hurtful this can be. We’re very aware of racist or homophobic comments and so should we be with any kind of intolerance. Be inclusive. If there is a special needs child at your school or in your child’s class, include them in parties and play dates. Go beyond your own fear and discomfort and allow these children to be part of the greater community. You will be surprised how much you will learn from them and you will give your own children the opportunity to go beyond labels and judgements. Don’t judge the parents. Parents of special needs kids are likely to be more tired, stressed, and overwhelmed with daily tasks than you are. Give them a break. If you see them losing their temper, know that they have probably been pushed beyond their limits. Give them a break. Even better, lend them a hand. Stop talking about your perfect child. Parenting a special needs child can be scary and lonely, and parents can often feel jealous of others whose lives are less complicated. They may even resent you and your child for getting to do the ‘normal’ childhood stuff and celebrate the ‘normal’ childhood milestones. Of course you are happy for your child, but be sensitive about not rubbing it in. Watch your questions. Please do interact with parents of special needs kids, but don’t bombard them with questions. They will talk when they are ready to talk, and some days (like all of us) they just don’t feel like discussing the intricacies of what they are going through. Have normal conversations. Speak to them like other parents – they are. And don’t ask: “What is wrong with your child?” Special needs parents are parents just like you. They love their children. They have good days and bad. They have challenges and joys. They worry about their child’s future. They want to talk about their child’s achievements. They need friends and date nights and girl’s nights and time out and a shoulder to cry on – just like you. Every child is special. Every child is unique and has their own specific challenges, talents, gifts, and difficulties. Keep this in mind whenever you want to judge any parent, and particularly one with a special needs child. You have no idea what someone else is dealing with, what kind of a night they’ve had, when last they slept, what new obstacle has just been thrown in their path. If we start every interaction with another human being by first understanding where they’re coming from, we are more likely to be kind, considerate and compassionate. Every parent is trying their best. Let’s start with that assumption.

November 17, 2016

An open letter to divorcing parents

Dear Parents, Divorce/separation sucks for the simple reason that when two people get together and have children, they make plans to build a future together. They do not plan for an eventual separation. So when it eventually happens, everything as they know it, crumbles. Everything will be different, and that is scary as hell. Today, thanks to extensive resources available, providing a wealth of information on all aspects of separation and referencing many people having gone through a separation before, separating parents are being presented with more options to separate with less trauma, and receive more knowledge on how to face and proceed mindfully with this life changing event. It gifts them a head start to engage on this journey in a manner that will not only allow them to move forward with less anger and bitterness, but mostly in sparing their children from broken childhood memories. Yet, there is increasing evidence of a rise in parental conflicts, court battles, evasion of parental roles and responsibilities, and using the children to control certain outcomes of their agreements not being met. Life is a never ending learning process. To discard available information and valuable support, is choosing to be a victim of your circumstances. Yes, a separation is distressing and hard on a person. It can make you feel like there is little justice and that life isn’t fair, but it should not become an excuse to waste your life focusing on a dream that did not materialise. Instead, evaluate if your conflicts are about hurting your ex or rather hurting your sons and daughters, because your conflicts are wounding your children in ways they cannot control. Recognise that there is in fact no problem. What you see as a problem is actually a change of direction. It’s not the end, it’s not a beginning. It’s a transition that allows you to plan for some different and new life choices. The time has come for separating and separated parents to address the crisis their families are in when going through a divorce/separation. Parents who are hostage to an acrimonious battle over custody and/or maintenance are not fighting for what is in the best interest of their children, they are out to hurt and destroy each other, no matter who stands in the cross fire. It is time to raise awareness that being in control of your emotions is the solution to forgiveness and healing, so that you can mend, and not destroy, your children’s families. The time is now to change the way you, parents, separate, so that you can give your sons and daughters a life which feels normal being happy and not which feels normal being broken. The Law doesn’t raise children, parents do! Nadia Thonnard

November 16, 2016

Choosing Medical Aid

Most medical schemes have launched their benefits and contributions for 2017 and it is the time when you should be re-looking at your existing medical aid cover or, if you are wanting to join a scheme, investigating which one suits you best. The medical aid landscape can be tricky to navigate so it is important to compare options and schemes to ensure you find a medical aid that works for you and your family’s health and is within your budget. Dr Bobby Ramasia, Principal Executive Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund, helps guide you through choosing the best plan, whether it’s through the open market or through an employer. If you are already on a medical aid scheme Before you choose the best medical aid option, you need an idea of what your typical health care costs are. You should also consider the following for you and your dependants over the past twelve months: How much you spent on day-to-day healthcare expenses Where you or any of your dependants admitted to hospital Did you need to visit a specialist regularly How much often do you or your dependants visit a GP Do you and your dependants have any chronic conditions How much do you spend on dentistry, optometry and over-the-counter medicine Did you exhaust your day-to-day benefits and/or savings this year How much did you pay in co-payments and/or deductibles Then consider which of the expenses listed above were once-off and won’t come up again soon (like childbirth) and which are likely to come up again and again (such as flu). You should be able to find a list of your medical claims on your current medical aid’s website. The day-to-day detail: Often the cost containment measures medical schemes apply for the day-to-day benefits are broad. So investigate, or bear in mind, the following: Does your medical aid contract with doctors and specialists and, if so, are you willing to use them? Using contracted or network doctors usually means obtaining full or improved cover levels, while using doctors outside of the network usually results in restricted benefits or co-payments. It also helps ensure you are getting more value for money as doctors on your medical scheme’s network will not charge you more than the rate agreed with your medical scheme. Must you be referred to a specialist by your GP? Does your medical aid offer additional GP consultations, which they will pay for, after you have exhausted your day-to-day benefits? Does your medical scheme offer any additional benefits such as maternity, preventative care or wellness benefits that are paid from risk and not savings or day-to-day benefits? You can also follow these tips to get more value for money: Use generic medication wherever possible – get into the habit of asking your doctor and pharmacist about this Try to keep your claims within any specified sub-limits, e.g. optometry Find out if your option has any day-to-day benefits that are paid by the scheme from risk (not from your day-to-day sub-limits or savings). Two examples where this sometimes applies are dentistry and optometry. Additional benefits: Ask what supplementary benefits might be available to you that can potentially save significant day-to-day expenses. These could include the following; Preventative care benefits, ranging from basic screenings (blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and body mass index measurements) through to mammograms, pap smears, prostrate testing. In some cases this extends to maternity programs, dental check-ups, flu vaccinations and more. These usually require authorisation from the scheme, failing which they are simply met from your day-to-day benefit limits. A mammogram costs in the region of R900, so don’t look a gift horse in the mouth! Age impacts your decision If you have young children, ensure that the medical aid option you select provides sufficient child illness benefits. For young couples looking to start a family, check that your option provides sufficient cover for maternity benefits. However, if you are slightly older then ensure that the option you select covers chronic conditions and provides sufficient in-hospital cover in the event of hospitalisation. Ensure the affordability of the medical aid plan selected. When comparing the different medical aid options available, consider all the costs involved before you make your final decision, such as: The monthly contributions, as a rule of thumb, you medical aid contributions should not exceed 10%of your monthly income at an individual or household level Other costs associated with your medical aid option e.g. if your option only allows consultations with doctors on a network, then you must ensure that the cost of travel to a network doctor (including hospitals and other healthcare service providers) The cost of co-payments for various benefits claimed. A medical aid co-payment is a fee that the member is liable for when making use of certain medical services. The medical aid would not cover 100% of the costs and the member would have to pay for a certain percentage of the medical service before the medical aid pays their portion. These co-payments usually apply to specialist or elective medical procedures. This will differ from one medical aid scheme to another. It is one of the reasons why you should always do thorough research before deciding which medical aid scheme is the best option for you. The ideal option would of course be the one that does not require many or any co-payments from the member.

November 15, 2016

When do we get back teeth?

This panoramic x-ray is fascinating in the detail that it shows of a seven-year-old child growing and developing. Let us look at the x-ray very closely so that you will understand why back teeth are so important in looking after from an early age. The first thing that you might notice is that the permanent teeth are in the process of development sitting under the roots of the primary(baby). All the primary teeth are still in the mouth except for the two lower front teeth. Both permanent lower central incisors are erupting. On the upper arch there is a full complement of primary teeth. The roots are still intact and these teeth except for the 2 upper front teeth will probably stay in the mouth for another four years. On the lower jaw the primary teeth are still firmly attached to the bone. As the permanent teeth develop and move upwards they cause the roots of the baby teeth to dissolve. At the age of approx. 11 these baby teeth loosen and fall out allowing the permanent teeth to erupt into the mouth. The permanent teeth that are most well developed are the first molar teeth which can be seen at the back of the mouth. These teeth have now erupted into the mouth at the tender age of between six and seven years old. These are called the six-year-old molars. All the teeth are in an ideal state of growth and development. These teeth should last a lifetime in a healthy pristine state…with proper care and good dentistry But, the reality is often not so. Why? Because they erupt into the mouth at such an early age, they are extremely vulnerable to ravages of dental decay. They need very special care and attention. They are precious. Great responsibility is needed on the part of the parent and child himself or herself to keep them sound and healthy. This involves effective plaque control; a controlled diet of as little sweets as possible; and possibly fissure sealants in the grooves on the biting surfaces of these teeth Little cavities must be detected early and treated appropriately. If not, further decay develops. It is important to understand what happens when these molar teeth become ravaged with the passage of time and inadequate care… A large filling may fail if improperly restored; the tooth then needs to be root treated; the root treatment fails; the tooth is then extracted; followed by leaving a space or placing an implant… A downward cascade with the negative consequences which all could have been prevented.

November 7, 2016

7 Benefits of Working as a Camp Counselor

Not all people were made to sit behind a desk, or in front of a computer screen all day. Working as a camp counselor is a perfect fit for young adults who prefer being hands on in a casual and dynamic working environment. A camp counselor is a young adult between the ages of 18 and 28 assigned to supervise a group of children at a holiday camp. The roles of a camp counselor include supervision, leadership, ensuring the children’s well-being and safety and making their camp experience as fun and rewarding as possible. If earning an income in a fun, outdoor environment isn’t a good enough reason, then here are seven more long-term benefits to working as a camp counselor: 1. Food and lodging are usually included. Many holiday camps offer accommodation and/or meals as part of the standard job package on top of the basic wage. This structure is perfect for students who are looking to make some extra spending money without having to worry about grocery or rent bills. 2. Meet new people. While living in the digs-style accommodation, counselors will undoubtedly meet new people from all over the country and the world. Some counselors only work during their university vacations or when they need extra cash, and others make a career of it and stay for years. There will always be a continuous cycle of new faces to meet and get to know. Some best friends and even married couples have met while working at camp. 3. Improve your fitness. Looking after children is a full time job, even more so at camp. Counselors are expected to instruct and participate in the camp’s activities and program with the children. Therefore, you can expect to always be engaged in some fun form of exercise, whether it’s swimming, surfing, rock wall climbing, playing paintball and a whole lot more. 4. Disconnect. Camps are usually a technology-free zone for children and counselors (during working hours). This allows you to fully enjoy and be present in every moment of your day without the distractions that come with cellphones etc. This in itself can be revitalising, because it allows you to reflect in your quiet times and then build strong interpersonal relationships during your busy times of face-to-face interactions. 5. Learn new and valuable skills. There are many valuable skills to be learned while working as a camp counselor. Some of which include Emergency First Aid, basic life guarding, public speaking, teaching, leadership and team work. On top of these, counselors can also learn to master and then become an instructor in a new activity like surfing, yoga, rock wall climbing, stand-up paddle boarding etc. There are many opportunities for both professional and personal growth at camp. 6. Make a difference. Many people often leave their everyday corporate jobs to pursue one simple, yet significant desire – the chance to make a difference either in the lives of people or in the world in general. This is why many people who are passionate about children choose to become camp counselors. A camp counselor from Sugar Bay Holiday Camp, describes his personal experience: “Coming to camp as a kid changed me from being a shy, introverted child to a highly energetic and friendly person. Sugar Bay had turned into my second home and family. [As a counselor] I was given the chance to be a role model to many kids who need the motivation to be better and make them happier and more confident. This itself fills me with joy.” 7. Build your resume. Employers often seek employees who are great communicators, life-long learners, leaders, team players and creative thinkers. Fortunately, these are some of the primary qualities of camp counselors. The work experience gained at a holiday camp like Sugar Bay will open up doors at international summer camps, au pairing agencies and careers related to fields in education, social work, child psychology and sports. If you’re passionate about kids and have an interest in working as a camp counselor, give Sugar Bay Holiday Camp a call on 032 485 3097. Ask to speak to the Head Counselor, Tape, who will happily give you more details and answer your questions.

November 4, 2016

Reading and writing: Confidence is the key

Many parents find themselves in a daily battle with their little ones over reading and writing homework. It seems like no matter how much you try to correct your kids they just don’t seem to be improving and they don’t appear to want to learn. Homework often ends up in a screaming match or at least a battle of wills. Let me tell you about a research study that I read recently. It was about kids with really bad handwriting. They took a group of kids with terrible writing and divided them into two groups – one group got the usual teacher feedback of red lines through their work, admonitions, and pleas to try harder. With the other group, the teachers were told to ONLY focus on what the kids did right – so to underline their good words and praise them for these, to point out what they had done well – even if all they could find was one letter that was formed nicely the teacher would tell the child – look at that “a” over there, now that is a beautiful “a”. They were not to comment AT ALL on their poor performance. Within two weeks the group with positive feedback had improved by 100% and the other group had degenerated. So the moral of the story is this… Kids cannot learn under stressful situations (such as a shouting or even disapproving parent). When we are stressed, the blood vessels to our prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain used for thinking, problem solving and learning) constrict and all the blood is redirected to our hindbrains (which are purely for fight and flight reflexes). So a child who is shouted at literally CANNOT learn. It is impossible. They don’t even have enough blood in the part of their brain necessary for learning. In order for your kids to improve in reading and writing what they needs most is not extra practice or more instruction or help, but a better learning environment. 90% of reading ability is not skill but confidence. The kids who read and write well are the ones who believe that they can. As a parent, you need to focus on the relationship with your child – on who your child is as a person, not on what he/she can do. We will all have areas of strength and weakness, but what everyone wants most is to be heard and understood. So next time you sit down with your little one to work on homework, think about what he/she might be going through. Homework may have become something that their brain automatically associates with stress and so they’re stressed before you even get going which makes them more likely to get it wrong. Discuss this with your children. Tell them that you realise they must be stressed about it and it isn’t easy to learn to read and write, particularly at a young age. Apologise for shouting in the past and let them know that you’re human and also lose your temper and get frustrated, but that you’re going to try to do better, just like them. Then take some time for both of you to do some stress-relieving exercises –do some breathing or visualisation, go for a short walk, have a cup of chamomile tea, and make sure you’re both feeling relaxed to start. Your child WILL learn to read and write, but at what cost. Let them learn a little more slowly if necessary, in their own time, and focus on caring about your child and what he/she is going through. Studies show that whether a child learns to read at age 4 or age 9, their reading and comprehension levels by age 11 are exactly the same. There really is no rush, other than the unnecessary pressure that the school may be putting on them. A child who learns slowly, but with love, care and confidence will go on to become an adult who loves reading. One who learns under stress will always associate reading with pain and this is much more likely to squash their overall educational achievements in the long run. And be gentle and kind to yourself too – new parenting doesn’t happen overnight and you will find times when you have other things on your mind and your stress levels are higher and you crack. This is normal. Stop. Take a few deep breaths. And apologise. Children learn a lot from our mistakes and how we handle them!

November 3, 2016

IS THERE A PROBLEM IF MY BABY DOESN’T CRAWL?

You might have heard some people say that crawling is vitally important, while others say it is not. Many people have said “My baby never crawled and he is fine” or “I don’t think it’s that important”. Personally I prefer not to listen to everyone’s opinions, but to look at the research. Not only do I work in this field, but I am a mommy of a son who didn’t crawl. A super intelligent boy who has low muscle tone and is double jointed. So I too was wondering what all the fuss was about when our Paediatrician sent us to the baby Physio. What advantages are there to crawling? It is important to understand that the development of Gross motor skills is essential for the development of fine motor skills. These two go hand-in-hand. Firstly crawling builds strength in all the muscles around the shoulders. Without strength in these muscles, he will have great difficulty in stabilising his arm while doing intricate functions with his hands, such as drawing or doing a puzzle. Here you can see that crawling is essential for physical development. It develops gross and fine motor skills, balance and hand-eye co-ordination. This is where the problem was lying for us. My son is double jointed in his shoulders and he could physically not carry his own weight there. The strengthening of these muscles are vitally important for fine motor skills as well. Muscles getting tired easily and quickly means that holding a pencil in the correct pencil grip is a challenge for example. Secondly it develops bilateral co-ordination. This means that both the left and right sides of the brain and body communicate with each other at the same time. This is called cross-lateral integration, and it builds a foundation for future skills such as speech and language development, as well as movements that cross the mid-line like reading, writing and tying shoe laces. Another obvious advantage is the freedom to explore. Yes this means bumping of head and packing away anything that could be dangerous but it has so many benefits. It helps develop visual spatial skills and depth perception. It also builds self-confidence as baby learns to make his own decisions and to take risks. What do I do if my baby doesn’t crawl? There are many ways to determine the problem and help. As a start it is important to not push baby to crawl too soon. The average is at around 9 months, but if he is a little slower it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a problem. If you are concerned have a chat to your paediatrician about it. There are also lots of games and exercises you can do to help encourage weight bearing on the arms. Before actually crawling baby needs to be able to stand on all fours with his bum in the air, you can help him do this by rolling a towel underneath his tummy and lifting him up into the crawl position. Once baby can do this himself, he will start rocking and many start moving backwards first, before crawling forward. My son did the bum shuffle, and never actually crawled on all fours. If your child is the same don’t despair you can help develop all these skills and muscles at an older age too. Play crawling games as a toddler over an obstacle course is a good option. You can also do wheelbarrow walks or races. This is where your child walks on his hands, while you hold his feet. These and many more are all activities included in the SkidZ Clever Activity Box curriculum. It includes daily activities for all the different milestones and helps baby develop all the necessary skills through play. The program was developed by experts in the field of early childhood development and so you can have the peace of mind that all areas are covered. The program is not only good for parents to know what age appropriate activities to do with baby, but it is perfect for nannies too. Children learn and build relationships through play and this is what our program aids in. For more info please contact me at [email protected] You can also get in touch via our facebook page www.facebook.com/skidzsa and our website www.skidz.co.za

November 3, 2016

Kids Behaving Badly When Mom’s In Charge

First of all, it’s not just moms. It seems to be whoever the female primary caregiver is; grandmothers, stepmoms, foster moms, adoptive moms and others. Believe it or not, when you learn what causes this, you may feel delighted that it happens to you. Here’s a typical scenario; the kids are home with mom and she begins finding it difficult to get their cooperation. Meltdowns are occurring and someone’s having a fit. Suddenly, dad arrives and the mood of the kids changes instantly. They run to greet him at the door and seem delighted to see him. He even gives them some instructions and they seem to comply. Immediately, his wife feels resentful that they are suddenly behaving completely different than they were just moments before he walked into the house. The meltdowns have subsided and the tantrums have disappeared. She may even be feeling angry toward him for suddenly getting smiles, laughter and cooperation. I’ve even witnessed this transition in reverse. The setting is the preschool classroom in which the child is playing contently or cooperating with the teacher. Then, mom arrives to pick up her child from school and the child runs to greet mom. She’s distracted on her cell phone or begins conversing with the teachers, and in an instant, the child throws himself down on the floor and a tantrum begins. The mystery around this behavior change has to do with the effect the mother, or the primary female caregiver, has on her child at the moment. Her presence creates an atmosphere of comfort and safety that is conducive to the child revealing the true emotions they may be feeling at the moment. In other words, the child feels safe enough to share what they are feeling deep inside. Unfortunately, few moms know this and mistakenly take the child’s actions, words or behaviors personal. She then gets sucked into the emotions the child is feeling and soon power struggles and arguments get triggered as she attempts to get her needs met in the moment. An important solution to this frustrating problem was offered in the famous book by author and speaker Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and then later, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. The 5th habit is to seek first to understand, then be understood. In other words, if you desire cooperation from your child in a moment when it appears you’re not going to get it, take the time to see the moment from the child’s perspective. Through your own silence, observation and open ended questions, determine what your child needs in the moment and satisfy them.

October 26, 2016

Aggressive Behaviour in Young Children

First Comfort the Victim. The next time you witness younger children fighting or hurting one another, your first response should be to comfort the victim without pity or drama. If possible, you should also include the aggressive child in comforting of the victim. Ask him to retrieve a cloth, a blanket, or even a drink of water if it’s appropriate. Be sure to use a quiet, calm and respectful tone as you take control. Your immediate feelings may involve anger or frustration toward the aggressive child, but maintain control and stay calm. Once the drama has cooled and the victim is cared for, take the aggressive child aside and remind him calmly and respectfully about boundaries and acceptable behaviour. This more peaceful response to the situation will provide an outstanding model and learning tool for both children. What is Bullying? Bullying is any form of physical, emotional, or verbal mistreatment in which one holds an unequal power over another, purposely and repeatedly with the intent to hurt or humiliate. A bully can be one tough kid harassing someone who is different in some way. A bully’s behaviour can be as simple as name-calling or as serious as confrontation resulting in injury. No child is ever exempt from being picked on by a bully at some point in his life, and neither are adults. In a recent study released by the American Medical Association, it was estimated that 3.2 million children are victims of bullying each year. Being able to defend oneself when attacked by a bully requires both courage and skill – traits you can begin instilling in your child at any age. Teach Them How Not To Be A Target. A bully’s common target is someone who demonstrates a lack of confidence and exhibits characteristics of weakness or insecurity. Teach your children to stand tall, use a full voice, look the other child directly in the eyes, and exhibit confidence when stating what they want. If your child does this, it will help to reduce the risk of being targeted by an aggressive child. You can teach this to your child by modelling it yourself. The most effective way of teaching children a new behaviour is to role-play with them. Allow them to see what the behaviour looks like by modelling it for them, then allowing them to practice. A child who stands, acts with and speaks with confidence is less likely to become a target of a bully. Teach your children. Teach them that they have the power to stop anyone from touching them, hurting them, or taking their things. One of the most effective actions you can teach your child is described in many self-defence and confidence courses. Stand tall and erect, and distribute weight evenly on both feet. Hold your head high, extend their hand straight out in front of them with their flat palm toward the other child, saying “STOP!” in a loud and strong voice. A bully halted in his or her tracks by a child drawing a clear, personal, physical or emotional boundary is more likely to walk away, often even respecting a child who had represented a potential victim.

October 25, 2016

Travelling with your children

What’s the one job in the world, that doesn’t pay a cent, has no formal working hours and doesn’t offer you any time off? You may have guessed it, parenting! Despite what the critics might say, parenting is by far the most influential position you’ll ever find yourself in. The perks of watching your kids experience snow for the first time or to see how their eyes light up at the sight of a real medieval castle is priceless. With so many places to see and so little time, travel specialist, Pentravel’s CEO Sean Hough suggests ditching the map book and saving yourself hours of tedious research plotting your route through Europe by rather choosing a family coach guided holiday. Especially designed with kids in mind it could save you from whinge-worthy moments, like “are we there yet?” or “this is so boring!” Kids just want to have fun! For families who love to mingle, a coach tour is the ideal setting. With free Wi-Fi on board and anywhere from 20 to 25 other children for your kids to socialise with, its pure heaven. Although the tour is open to children between five and 18 years old, Hough suggests the ideal age is from ten to sixteen. Tour directors know how to stimulate young minds by offering dramatic and animated descriptions of sights. In the UK, expect visits to Harry Potter movie sets and overnighting in a real castle. Feel like a celebrity. If you were to rent your own car and travel through Europe, its most likely that poor old Dad will be the one driving around the block several times looking for parking before having the backbreaking job of offloading all the bags and carting them to the hotel. On a family coach guided holiday, you’re given the red carpet treatment and delivered to your hotel’s front door, while your luggage magically appears in your room. Absolute bliss. Experience a destination like a local. Blending in with your environment makes travelling far more relaxing and authentic. There is nothing worse than being harassed by a local haggler who triples the price just because he knows you’re a tourist. Tour directors are experts in local tourism and will show you the best places to eat real authentic Italian pizza that won’t cost you an arm and a leg, or where to find the prettiest spot to watch the sun setting over Paris to avoid big crowds. Stop counting your pennies. For budget conscious travellers there are no hidden costs when you choose a Guided Holiday. Before you leave South Africa, you and your family can decide on which additional tours or sights you want book. Border crossings, ferries, toll gates, gratuities and entrance fees are all taken care of before you leave home. Plus you are exempt from standing in line at a monument or museum and can walk right to the front of the queue. University of the World. It’s one thing learning about the Invasion of Normandy during the second World War from a text book and actually standing on the beach looking out across the English Channel with your kids while they rattle off details about the day the invasion unfolded. And then the enormity of a glacier in the Alps can’t be fully grasped by reading a text book or watching a video, however standing on it as it moans, creeks and cracks will be a moment that moves you forever. Show and tell will never be the same. When the kids go back to school, just imagine the show-and-tell moment, when they display selfies on the smartboard taken with a guard outside Buckingham Palace, or share stories about the day they spent at Gladiator School in Rome learning how to handle a sword and spar just like an ancient Roman gladiator. There are many ways to create lasting family memories but a family Guided holiday will change you and your kids’ lives forever. No longer will stories just be words on a page and is bound to change the way they learn and grow as young people. To see the world through their eyes is priceless but it will be them bugging you to book their next holiday even before you touch down. To find out more about the 2016/17 touring season contact Pentravel www.pentravel.co.za or follow on @pentravel. Bookings made before 27th September are based on 2016 rates minus 10%.

October 24, 2016

Punishment And Your Children

Punishment is a tool designed to make a child “pay for what they did” and to feel bad about the way they acted. The belief is that the bad feeling will stick with them and motivate them to not repeat the behaviour or action. But punishment has side effects that can create more problems for the parent then they originally had. For example, making a child feel bad can backfire and motivate them to hide and lie about their mistakes. It can also damage the parent / child relationship. Think back to your own childhood and remember a time when you were punished. How did you feel? How did you feel about yourself at that moment? What did you want to do as a result of the punishment? How did you feel toward the punisher? I’ve asked these questions numerous times in my workshops and not once did any adult say they felt good about anything in that moment. We now know that making a child feel bad about what they did affects the way they think and feel about them self. You wouldn’t buy one jacket to fit all of your kids, and you wouldn’t take one prescription pill to fix every sickness you come down with, so why would you use one form of discipline for all behaviour situations. Each situation requires a different solution. It’s not easy being a parent today and knowing what response should be used with every challenging behaviour. And it’s hard for a parent to change habits when they don’t have the right skills to replace ineffective techniques with more effective ones. That’s why I believe that parents should commit to becoming a life-long student when it comes to raising children. There are many great books that offer successful strategies and lots of parenting classes and workshops offered in the community. Begin by looking up information on, or getting help with, consequences and using them to replace punishment. A consequence is much more respectful to the child and can have longer lasting positive effects on him or her and the behaviour. And a consequence does not always have to be about the child; it can be about the parent. For example, if the child uses words that are hurtful to the parent or the child hits the parent, the consequence could be that the parent makes a strong statement declaring a refusal to let anyone hurt them physically or verbally, and then leaving the area where the child is. This type of response demonstrates (and teaches the child) about keeping them self safe from being hurt. The consequence is the child losing access to the parent in that moment. For example, the parent could say, “I don’t let anyone hurt me,” and then quickly walk away. In this example, there was no need to do anything to the child, resulting in a higher level of learning on the part of the child. Having trouble believing this? Try it the next time your child acts out this way.

October 20, 2016

It’s okay to fail!

From very young we are taught that getting something wrong is a bad thing. Mistakes are something to be ashamed of and chances are some form of punishment followed a failure. This follows through into the working environment. We are all too aware when emails do the rounds in an effort to deflect blame when something goes wrong. We’ve all been in meetings held specifically to “find the culprit” rather than finding a solution and putting a process in place to prevent the same thing happening again. Inevitably, our kids get to hear about this because we talk about it at home. They learn through us that making mistakes as an adult is just as much of a problem as when you are a kid. What this means is that throughout our lives we are sensitised to failure being a bad thing. Sadly this often leads to people not trying anything new because of the “What if I fail?” voice that lurks in our minds. Failure means the end. A favourite quote of mine by A.P.J Abdul Kalam says this: “If you fail, never give up because F.A.I.L means “First Attempt In Learning”. End is not the end, in fact E.N.D means “Effort Never Dies. If you get No as an answer, remember N.O means “Next Opportunity”. So let’s be positive.” As parents we need to teach our kids about the positive side of failing at something. It means that you have at least tried. It means that you have an opportunity to look at a process and make a change so that you can do better next time. It is a chance to learn something about a situation and about yourself. Being a parent you need to walk the talk. Our kids need to see how we fail and what we do to pick ourselves up and turn the situation around. We need to be the ones who model the concept of “Effort Never Dies”. And yes, this moist definitely applies to test and exams. Sometimes all the effort does not show in the results. Instead of berating our kids we need to take a step back & assess what has happened. Is there something happening at school that is creating anxiety? Is your child possibly not using the best method for them to study? Are they leaving their studies to the last minute? And yes this applies equally to sport. You might have been the A –team netball player, that doesn’t mean that your child will be too. Allow your child to try out all of the sports possible until they find what works for them. Of course there is a big difference between putting in the effort and failing and not putting in any effort and failing. As a parent you know when your kid is not applying themselves. Before getting upset with them, try and figure out why they are not applying themselves. It’s very easy to lose the plot. I know I’ve had to pull myself back from the edge on a number of occasions. The key is to remember what it was like being a kid, take the time to understand the developmental phase your child is in and work with that. Let’s not make the mistakes of the generations before us. Let’s encourage our kids to try everything, find what works for them and encourage them to excel in what they love.

October 18, 2016

Take time to reflect

While most parents spend considerable time preparing for the beginning of the school year, not much thought is given to the end of the year. For the most part, both parents and children are simply thankful to have survived another school year! However, helping children wrap up the year on a positive note, and encouraging them to reflect on what they have gained – knowledge, friends, skills – will leave them with a sense of pride and accomplishment. For example, if your child struggled in a particular area at the start of the year, the last school term offers a good opportunity to celebrate how far he has come. You can also talk about what was easy and what was hard, what was enjoyable and what wasn’t, and which part of learning was fun and exciting! Here are a few suggestions for ending the year on a high note: Celebrate: Help your child create a list of things that he is proud of. Consider what it took to achieve these successes, and encourage him to keep working hard to achieve his goals. Say thanks: Let your child write a note to his teacher/s. While they may have had some ups and downs during the year, writing a sincere note of gratitude to a teacher is a meaningful way to end the school year. Stay in touch: Encourage your child to make plans during the final term to stay in touch with his friends over the holidays. This will help maintain the strength of the relationships he worked so hard to build during the year. Unfortunately, the end of the school year is also accompanied by certain losses. While saying goodbye is never easy, school goodbyes provide (repeated) opportunities to help children acknowledge and express loss, which is vital for their emotional development. The end of primary school, in particular, marks a major shift in a child’s life and can be both exciting and terrifying. Your child will have to say goodbye to teachers who made a lasting impression, but more importantly, he will have to say goodbye to friends who may be going to a different high school. As peer relationships have become quite important by this point in a child’s life, this transition may be particularly difficult for children to deal with. Allow your child to reflect on what he will miss, but also talk about the benefits of moving on. Support your child by keeping conversations about his feelings – both positive and negative – open. So, as the last day of school approaches, try not to get too caught up the end of the year rush! Make time for your child to reflect on the year’s achievements, experiences and feelings. Impak is a curriculum provider for home, tutor and school education. Visit www.impak.co.za for more information.

October 17, 2016

Looking after your little one’s skin during summer

Summer is just around the corner, and the chance to “unwrap” your little one from their layers of clothing is very tempting. Their little arms and legs have been encased for the past few months having them resemble sumo-wrestlers every time they waddle around. “Summer is the time when little ones can explore without the constriction of too many clothes, and being busy and exploring is what every little child needs for their development. It’s their job to keep busy, and our job to protect them while they are – and this includes looking after their skin,” says Su-Marie Annandale brand manager for baby skincare range Krayons. Annandale provides four tips on how to look after your little one’s skin this summer: Don’t forget a high SPF sunscreen. Your little one has been protected for the past few months from the harsh rays of the sun and it is important that you are aware of how much time they are playing in the sun. Applying a sunscreen often throughout the day is imperative, and even if you think that there is little chance of them getting sunburned still apply the sunscreen. A sweaty baby is normal during summer. When it is hot our little ones are going to sweat, but this does not mean that they need to be bathed all the time. Too much bathing can dry out their skin especially when the bath temperature is too hot. Use skincare products that moisturise and do not dry out the skin. Use a mild soap such as the Krayons’ Creamy Baby Soap Bar enriched with moisturising aqueous cream or the Krayons’ Mild Baby Soap Bar infused with pure baby petroleum jelly to give extra care to baby’s skin when bathing your little one. Gently Pat them dry so as not to remove too much of the moisture and then finish off by massaging in Krayons’ Aqueous cream. Keep them hydrated. Your little one’s body is made up of 60% water and their skin is the largest organ they have, which needs water to be kept hydrated and healthy especially during summer.

October 10, 2016

Make shopping fun with your Toddler

Shopping can be a complete nightmare for most parents with a toddler and we tend to try and fit it in when they not around. Follow these tips taken from the book Raising Happy, Healthy Children by Andalene Salvesen to make shopping fun. Before you go shopping, remember to feed your child, otherwise the sweet counter is going to look even more tempting, especially if they have a blood sugar dip. En route in the car, discuss the rules when we shop: We are not going to buy any sweets. Listen to mommy. Stay near the trolley. Making shopping fun You can play a game at home with them called Red light, Green light. When you say Green light they run, when you say Red light they freeze. Now try this in the supermarket aisles. Let them run ahead, then say ‘Red light’! While they freeze and giggle, you put your shopping into the trolley. As you get closer, say ‘Green light’ again. Repeat. Have them cut out pictures of groceries from a magazine and file them in a box. Before going shopping, have them take out their ‘shopping list’ pictures and stick them onto paper. Take this, as well as a pencil, to the shops so that when you find the milk, for instance, they can mark that off their list. This keeps them engaged as well as improving their matching skills. Allow a younger child to walk alongside the trolley ‘helping’ to get items off the shelf. Keep them engaged by talking about the different uses, colours and types of groceries. Explain that if they don’t listen or if they run off, then they will be put back into the trolley for ‘time Out’. Do this for two minutes, even if they scream the whole two minutes. Take them out again and say, ‘Right, stop crying and let’s try again’. Children usually love riding in those coin-ride cars or animals. Find out what a ride costs and have enough money in small coins for one ride. Explain to your children that after you have finished shopping, they will be able to go on a ride IF they have earned enough money. Explain that you will be doling out coins every so often for good behaviour. However, you will also be taking away for disobedience or fighting. At the end of the trip, either take them for a ride (even if it is only one of them that earned enough) or if there isn’t enough, they can save it for next time or buy a small fruit juice or something acceptable for the amount of money they still have left over.

October 6, 2016

Spring allergies and breathing difficulties

While families are gearing up for spring after a cold winter, planning picnics and hikes with children, others are dreading the allergy season and the medical difficulties it brings along with it. Lets focus on the two most common respiratory related conditions children suffer from and are most prevalent in the winter and early spring seasons, asthma and croup. While both affect your child’s breathing and the symptoms may seem similar, the conditions are very different and often the methods treatment too. Lets start with croup. Croup is classified as an upper respiratory condition, which means, unlike asthma, the constriction of the airways happens higher up, in the trachea (windpipe) and larynx (voice box). It most commonly affects children aging from six months to three years however younger babies may develop it as well as children into their early teens, it is less common though. A virus called parainfluenza causes it. Despite the name it is not what we know as flu but can cause result in a runny nose, fever and cough. While this is the most common cause, allergies are also a trigger. Although croup is often a rapid onset, parents who are aware that their child suffers from croup can help prevent it by steering the child clear of known allergies such as dust, pollen, certain food additives such as Tartrazine as well as monitoring colds the child may develop. It is identified by a barking cough, horse voice and stridor (grating breathing sounds). If croup is caught early or a mild case is experienced, simply encouraging the child to inhale steam over a basin or in a shower may well ease the constriction. In more aggressive cases, a trip to the emergency room may be necessary for oxygen therapy and a course of corticosteroids such as prednisone. Do not play the “waiting game” as croup tends to worsen as the temperature drops at night. Remember to try keeping the child calm. They will be distressed and panic as well as crying often worsens the symptoms. Asthma on the other hand is a lower respiratory condition and affects the bronchioles (small tubes delivering air through the lungs). Asthma is considered a lifetime condition, especially is it develops in adulthood however children are known to “grow out of it”, however it may return later in life due to lifestyle changes or menopause. It is common for children to suffer from asthma if there is a history of it in the family however there are many other causes including pre-birth risks and environmental influences. Triggers are causes for attacks to take place and range from a cold, chest infection, environmental aspects such as change in season to allergies, emotional stress, open fires, mold and exercise and is identified by wheezing, coughing, difficulty in breathing and a tight chest Sadly asthma kills up to 45% of suffers before they reach hospital which is why, when symptoms develop and are considered “out of control” (an inhaler or nebulizer does not ease symptoms considerably), it is important that we take the child to hospital or call an ambulance timeously. Should your child have been diagnosed with asthma, it is imperative that we carry an inhaler on us at all times. For young children, a spacer (plastic adaptor) should be placed on the front of the inhaler to hold the burst of medication, as it is more difficult for them to synchronize their breath with the inhaler. Be careful not to confuse the two different types of inhalers. One is used when an attack is experienced; inhalers such as Asthavent or Ventolin are rapid acting and ease the constriction for almost instant relief and can be bought over the counter. The other is a steroid based inhaler such as Budeflam and is used for long-term treatment. This will not provide the relief the child needs in the case of an attack. Nebulizers are often used during an attack and provide similar relief as inhalers. The nebulizer is a machine, which reduces the same drugs you find in inhalers from a liquid form to a mist, which the child then inhales. Studies have shown that children under the age of five, using an inhaler with the correct spacer often benefit more than using a nebulizer. The inhaler administers a lower dosage of medication, however in a far shorter space of time, the nebulizers, which take up to 15 minutes to administer the metered dosage also has a loss rate of over 90% which means the child only inhales less than 10% of the medication versus the 10-40% when using an inhaler. This is not to say nebulizers are not recommended. They are great when dealing with a child who either refuses or is too young to inhale spay from an inhaler. Be aware that a rapid heart rate is also associated with the nebulizer and far less often with the inhaler. While the use of steam like in croup for treatment has never really been clinically proven to be effective, it may help some sufferers, but also worsen others so be careful if choosing to use this method. If you suspect the environment the child is in may be causing the attack, remove them from the environment as quickly as possible. Try and keep them calm and “coach” their breathing, crying may also exacerbate the symptoms. Always be prepared for known respiratory conditions. Both the conditions we have discussed, if not preventable, are treatable if the correct action is taken timeously. Don’t ever think you are being dramatic by calling an ambulance or taking a child to hospital if you are concerned. They are your children and quick, decisive actions and training will save their lives.

October 3, 2016

The role of parenting in raising tomorrow’s effective leaders

Marlinie Ramsamy, CEO of FranklinCovey South Africa, discusses ways that parents can teach their children the skills they need to become credible leaders The choices we make as adults and our attitudes toward life are often a reflection of our upbringing and the values ingrained in us by our parents. From the career path we choose to the person we decide to marry, the home environment sets the tone for what a person will go on to achieve in later years, which is why establishing a strong set of principles that govern your family is so crucial. Research has shown that children who spend more one-on-one time with parents, receiving positive attention and care in their formative years become more effective leaders and are more likely to achieve success in later years. However, modern-day life presents a new set of challenges for parents to navigate, including TV, console games, tablet computer and mobile phones. There needs to be a measure of self-discipline in order to help children achieve the goals that are important to their development. Successful athletes and entrepreneurs are great examples of the type of focus and determination it takes to achieve great things – a bit of TV may seem harmless, but mindless hours of television is a time robber that takes the attention away from bigger, more important life goals. Parents need to take responsibility for their families and the direction each member is heading towards to ensure good leadership qualities are instilled and nurtured in children from a young age. Parents should be constantly asking themselves how they are shaping the moral compass of their children, developing their ethical behaviour and promoting credible leadership. Do their children know what they stand for as a family? Do they know what they stand for in their personal capacity? All organisation regardless of size develop a mission statement, yet, the most important institution – the family – very rarely has a mission statement or even a vision statement. Work on building a structured framework to guide your family, including the following considerations: Develop a family vision with your and your children’s dreams in mind. This helps them to learn that they need not be trapped within their circumstances, change and growth start with a vision for your life. Create a family mission statementthat details the specific goals that everyone would like to achieve in three, five and 10 years’ time. A company takes great care in formulating mission statements to achieve business objectives, and the same principle applies to families. Be more conscious of your children’s needs.This can be difficult when you’re juggling a busy schedule, but understanding the issues affecting your kids and the goals they would like to achieve means that you are in a better position to help them solve problems or maintain focus throughout the year. This encourages confidence in children and the security of knowing that you’re there to coach them through the tough stretches. Have a set of values that applies equally to every member of the family.If honesty is a core value in your family, then do not hide important information or lie, especially to your children, as they are more likely to copy your behaviour than heed your words. If you want your kids to buy into the values you’ve set out then you need to be consistent – not only with them, but with yourself. Get to know their friends.Speaking to their friends and developing an open relationship with their peers gives you insight into what they are thinking, how they make friends and their decision making capability, and will give you insight into what they value in relationships. Keep lines of communication open.Try to create an ‘open door’ environment in the home, where children feel comfortable enough to speak to you about anything that is bothering them. Regardless of how you feel about the situation, don’t interrogate them, let them tell you what they want to. Keep your opinion to yourself. Seek first to understand.I’ve seen how ego and pride can cause a complete breakdown in communication between husband and wife, and it has the same impact on your relationship with your children. There’s nothing worse than feeling unheard and dismissed, especially among family. First, listen to what your child has to say, and give them the opportunity to say everything they would like to, before formulating an opinion. Your response needs to be cognisant not only of your values, but their feelings and the issues they face. It is by modelling good communication that you teach your kids about what it takes to be a leader, because only a good communicator can be a great leader. Be a good listener, listen with your heart, your eyes and your mind. I’m also mindful that circumstances differ for every parent – someone who struggles to make ends meet might not have the luxury of spending more than an hour or two of quality time a day with their children because they are working multiple jobs or travelling long distances to work. Even so, parents can still use the time they have to steer the family in the right direction and ensure that every member feels valued, loved and protected. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective families programme offers parents a systematic and holistic way to approach family life, allowing you to build the life that you all want – at work, at school and at home. It guides you on how to show your children that they are a product of their choices, and not their circumstances.

October 3, 2016

Respect

A while back I was doing research & developing a workshop for an NGO on conflict. Amongst other things, it deals with certain areas that create conflict such as people’s different levels of motivation & value structures and is written with Life Coaching ethos in mind. The purpose is to give everyone attending the course a clear understanding that everyone around us has a distinctly different reality from our own and that it is as equally valid as our own. And so while I was working through the workbook as well as the required power point presentation it dawned on me that it is really is all about one a little word – Respect. As a whole human beings do not respect each other. While we understand & acknowledge the concept, in reality, life has become so intense and stressful that most of us are thankful when we make it through yet another day. Never mind your impact on the lives of others. So what if we started to change this? The big question of course is how, because this lack of respect has become an intrinsic part of our culture. What if we started with our children? We as parents, while providing security & guidance to our children should be fostering the principle of respect. How? By treating our children with respect. By allowing them to develop into who they are. By not belittling their efforts or enforcing our reality onto them. If more children grew up understanding who they were and being allowed to develop the skills true to themselves, can you just imagine what a difference it could make to the rate our children are diagnosed with various stress related illnesses. A bit dramatic you may think, however, a fundamental lack of respect eats away at the core of your being and feeling has to come out somewhere. Do you allow your child the freedom to close their bedroom door when they need their space? Do you respect their space by knocking on the door before going into their room? Do you give them the opportunity to express their feelings and ideas, no matter how young they are? Do you guide or do you dictate? As parents we are responsible for teaching our children respect & tolerance of different belief systems. We are doing them & our country, in fact the world the greatest disservice by teaching them that people with different values, culture, beliefs etc are wrong if they are different to ours. Why has human kind become so threatened by differences, instead of embracing them and seeing them as for what they are? Different. Not wrong or evil, just different. It of course doesn’t stop their. We need to put our words into practice & actively show respect for our extended family, yes that includes the mother-in-law, colleagues, people using the same road, people walking passed you. After all, our children learn by watching us. The age of do as I say, is long gone. Children today expect us to honour our word. Think about it. If we were all just a little bit more respectful in our day to day lives, what a difference it would make. Of course we are all going to have that bad day when all you want to do is rip heads off, there again, if you go back, acknowledge that you were wrong & say sorry, you have gone a long way to earn respect. You have modelled appropriate behaviour. What the other person chooses to do with that is in fact not your concern. They have their own reality to deal with.

September 28, 2016

Raising Boys For My Girls

I’m the proud mother of two girls. It’s something I boast about – how easy going they are, how they amuse themselves for hours and can keep quiet when necessary and take care of their own basic hygiene. I know, you mothers of boys will throw it back at me when my girls hit the teenage years, but for now I’m gloating! The truth is, that having girls makes me more, not less, concerned with the raising of boys. I want my girls one day to find a man who has empathy and kindness and can work out relationship problems with maturity and is in touch with his emotions not bottling them up and then exploding. How little boys are raised has a lot to do with the kind of men they become. I’d like my girls to grow up into a society of great men. Here are, then, my tips on what you can do with your boys to help them become suitable suitors for my two beautiful daughters!! Make sure your boys have good male role models. Boys need to be exposed to men who are reliable, who treat women well, who are affectionate and playful and can handle and work through emotions and disagreements. This is particularly important if you are a single mom, and it does not need to be their dad. Uncles, grandfathers, godfathers, male friends… any older man who can show them, just by their way of being in the world, what it means to be a man. Be affectionate with your boys. All boys, regardless of their age, need hugs, kisses, cuddles and affection. You may need to pick your moments as they get older (not in front of their coolest friends perhaps), but everyone needs physical closeness. Boys who have a strong bond with their moms are less likely to be aggressive or defiant. A note on affection: Don’t only give hugs or kisses when they’ve done something right. Keep affection as something in it’s own right and not something you need to deserve. You are loved just because you are. Assist your boys in learning emotional intelligence. Girl’s grow up more emotionally intelligent because of the way they are treated, not because of some innate psychological difference. We tend to nurture girls when they’re hurt and ask them more regularly how they are feeling. For some reason parents are less likely to do this with boys and it stilts their emotional development and ability to discuss a range of emotions. We need to go beyond telling our little boys to “man up” if they get hurt. There is absolutely no evidence to show that boys who are cared for when hurt grow up any less masculine, strong or capable than those who are not. In fact, repressing emotions leads to all sorts of complications later on including aggression and depression. Help boys to find ways to express strong emotions without hurting themselves or others, help them to brainstorm solutions to problems, and reassure them that strong emotions do pass. Here again, it helps if they have a strong male role model with emotional intelligence. Help your boys to learn empathy. Avoid too much violent television or video games which can numb them to the feelings and effects of violence in the real world. Help them to get into the minds and feelings of others by playing games like “what if I were them?” If you’re watching a movie with your boys point out something that a character is going through and ask, “How do you think you would feel if you were in that situation?” Reading stories to them or encouraging them to read novels themselves can also build emotional intelligence and empathy as they become involved in the internal worlds of the characters in the stories. Help your boys to maintain a high level of self worth. Never label your boys – and that goes for good and bad labels. Everyone has two sides and all traits, and a good sense of self worth involves seeing both sides of yourself and loving yourself as a whole person. For that reason, limit the amount of praise you give too. Excessive praise can put unnecessary pressure on a boy to perform in order to feel loved. Self worth means being loved and lovable no matter what you do. Help your boys to figure out what they love and then to follow their dreams. There is nothing quite like pursuing someone else’s dreams to crush your self-esteem. Give your boys responsibilities and challenges. We all grow to our maximum when we have a combination of support and challenge. Help your boys to feel helpful and purposeful by trusting them to take on more challenges. And catch them doing things right. Boys are more often than girls caught doing naughty things or labeled as disruptive. Yes, they have loads of energy, they don’t keep quiet, they don’t sit still and they don’t always listen. This is a natural part of their development and they don’t need to be chastised for being who they are. Teach your boys to respect themselves and others. The easiest way to do this is to respect yourself. Don’t let your boys walk all over you or speak to you badly. Help them to see that you have needs and feelings too and that you will not allow others to degrade you. Have rules and follow through with consequences. If you are clear about the rules in your home and stick to them they will learn about other people’s boundaries and how to manage themselves out in the world. If the boundaries are constantly moving or unclear, they will learn to keep pushing. Help them learn how to make good choices. Again, following through with consequences is essential. If you’ve given them a choice and they’ve chosen one option, let them stick to that even if they don’t like the outcome. There are very important lessons in making mistakes.

September 26, 2016

The Art Of Communication

Chatting to your kids is not supposed to be habitual. Communication is an art. So if you want more than a habituated response you’re going to have to be a little more creative in your questions. “How was your day?” is never going to get more than an answer of “Fine”. I’d like to address this issue, because it’s impact goes beyond just not really knowing how your child’s day was to how they communicate with other human beings as they get older. Think about the proverbial cocktail party. When last did someone you’d just met ask you, “What was your most epic failure?” or “What is it that when you’re doing it you totally lose track of time and space?” Wouldn’t our interactions with our fellow beings be much more interesting, engaging and ultimately meaningful if we had learned as children to ask anything other than the obvious? Now the art of truly meaningful conversation requires knowing the person that you are speaking to and what is most important to them. Not so easy at a cocktail party when you’ve only just met (although a good incentive to find out quickly rather than lingering on small talk), but with your own child this should already be somewhat obvious. Whatever we most love is where we become extroverted in our conversations and where we have the least interest, we become introverted – chat to me about parenting and I’ll keep you up all night, what to me about rugby and I’ll be asleep in minutes. So while I’d love to give you a standard list of questions to ask your kids after school, you will have much more engagement with them if you tailor-make your questions to suit their particular interests. For example… If you child loves soccer, ask things like: If you were the world’s best soccer player, what did you learn today that could help you improve your game? If you were picking your ideal soccer team from the people in your class, who would you pick first? Who would you pick last? Why? Or if your child loves dolls, you could ask: If everyone in your class was suddenly turned into Barbie dolls, who would look the most ridiculous? What do you think your favourite doll would tell me if she had been in your class today? If your child loves reading, you could ask: What happened in the story of your life today? Who was the most interesting character in the story of your life today? What one thing happened today that you would add to a book you were writing? Or if your child loves Minecraft: If you turned everyone in your class into Minecraft characters, who would be villagers, who would be giant spiders, who would be creepers, and who would be skeletons? Do you think your teacher would survive if everyone in the class turned into creepers? If your child loves music, you could ask: Which song best describes your day? If you were making a movie of your day, which band would you get to play the soundtrack? Think about what your children love, what makes them come alive, and work on open ended questions that will help you to get more than a one-word response. Not only will you get some deeper insight into your child’s life, but this will also help your kids to engage more meaningfully with others as they get older. Win-win!

September 22, 2016

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