Parenting - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

7 Ways to keep your children off drugs

Children are the most vulnerable during their growing years and will always have their curiosity spiked by anything new. The same applies to the usual attractions of alcohol, cigarettes and drugs. Keeping them away from drugs is really important as this is a decision which can change the course of their whole life. The warnings have to be given to children in such a way that they really understand the repercussions of drug usage. Here are some parenting tips when it comes to keeping your children away from the danger of drug abuse for their own betterment. Be the Perfect Role Model Hypocrisy rarely works in such a situation. Advising your children while doing drugs yourself is never going to achieve the required objective. Children usually observe a lot and the same applies to the habits of their parents, whom they may see as their role models. This makes it really important to maintain a clean image and stay clean at least for the sake of your children. Only then will they be fully convinced by your words and stay away from drugs. Do the Talk It is important to sit down and talk about the effects of drug usage to your children. Assuming that your child will not be affected by drugs and feeling that there would have been enough information regarding the issue from schools is not very realistic. Give them all that they need to know about drug usage to make sure that the dangers are understood clearly. Make it as simple as required for them to fully grasp the consequences of any actions that they take. Use the Friendly Gesture When exposing children to such a sensitive issue, it should be done in a realistic way. Giving them a clear picture in the friendliest way should be done, rather than using harsh and threatening tones. The way the message was delivered will also highly impact how children react to any unsupervised situation. Showing that you have placed utmost trust on them can alter how they resist any peer pressure or temptations. Point Out Real-Life Examples There are many people who have become slaves to drugs and will do anything to get their next fix. Pointing out the deep slip that their life has taken works more effectively than all the lectures that you have planned on the subject of drug education. Children today, believe what they see. The same applies to this situation too. By showing them actual people whose lives have been drastically affected by drug usage, you can make sure that you have instilled the right fear in their minds of being exposed to drugs. Keep an Eye on Their Gang Peer pressutre seems to be one of the most common reasons for children to try drugs. This makes it important for parents to keep an eye on the people that their children hang out with. Getting to know their best friends, the people they party with and the things that they usually do with their friends is not only a way to bond better but also a precaution to make sure that they stay safe. Spend More Time Together As time passes, the distance can increase between you and your children. This is quite natural as they seem to develop their own interests and friends. However, it is important for you to keep them close by making sure that they can come to you for any matter. Encourage them to get a hobby which will keep them engaged and maybe opt for something which can be done together. This will help them be distracted from other unwanted distractions and also help you keep your relationship strong. Provide A Stress-Free Environment During this age, children are exposed to a lot of changes and are quite confused about themselves and their surroundings. If a violent or disturbed situation prevails in their environment persistently, children may look for other ways to manage the mental breakdown that they are being exposed to. This is why parents should try keeping the home a place where their children can be happy, in spite of any issues that they may be facing. Children are incapable of fully understanding the consequences of the actions that they may try out. It is the parents’ duty to ensure proper education on the subject for their kids to be safe out of harm’s way.

March 7, 2018

Toddlers tandrums to cheekiness & manipulation

My now 3 year old has moved on from the Toddler Tantrum phase and has started working on her next goals: how to manipulate mommy into getting what she wants and being cheeky. I am now starting to (sort of) enjoy these new phases and her development. Her latest ploy in manipulation goes like this: C: Mommy I love you! (with the sweetest smile) Me: I love you too C: Mommy you are my good friend (another angelic smile) Me: Thank you C: Mommy can I have a lollipop Me: No C: You are NOT my friend (screamed at me angrily with an accusing finger in my face) Me: That’s right, I am your mom, not your friend C: Papa… you are my good friend. Can I have a lollipop? Papa: No C: You are NOT my friend (screamed at Papa angrily with an accusing finger in his face) I can see clearly how she is trying to work things in her favour and I am sure at some stage she will work out how to be a little more subtle. She is also working out how to play mommy and papa against each other too. Now that I am not such a new mommy anymore I am able to be more calm and detached in these situations and handle them better which I can see has a better impact on her behaviour. One of her favourite things to say right now is “I don’t want to” or “I don’t feel like it” when I ask her to do something. I have found a great remedy for this which seems to be working with great effect. When she responds like that I just say ok and carry on. I wait until she asks me for something like going for a walk and I tell her that I don’t feel like it so we are not going. I explain to her that sometimes we don’t feel like doing something but because we love each other and we are family we can do it anyway. But if she doesn’t feel like picking up her toys I won’t take her for a walk if I don’t feel like it. She seems to be catching on nicely now. She still has her cheeky responses but she does do what I ask of her so I ignore the cheekiness like I ignored her tantrums. Strangely enough my 1 year old has started making those rasping, spitting noises at me every time I tell him no, it is like he is pulling his tongue out at me and being cheeky too! He can only say Mama, Eina and Daar but his non-verbal skills are definitely on the go! What stage is your child at and how do you manage?

March 7, 2018

Weight isn’t the only thing you’ll be shedding after having a baby

Everything FINALLY seems to be settling down a few months after welcoming your new baby – she is in (somewhat of) a routine, her sleeping patterns are getting better and you have even managed to get more done this week. Just when things are coming together your hair starts to fall out! The average person loses around 100 hairs a day to make way for the newer hairs to come through. Most of the hair on your head is still growing, while around 10% is in a resting phase and will soon fall out. When you are pregnant this natural hair shedding ceases to happen, which is why an expectant mother is able to proudly display her shiny locks “Many new mothers aren’t aware of the amount of hair shedding that can take place after having a baby, and it can come as quite a nasty shock when they see how much of their hair is left behind in the shower. This noticeable hair shedding is caused by dropping estrogen levels and a lot more follicles entering their resting stages” says Nomfundo Majozi, Vigro® brand manager. To start the process of getting your hair back to its original glory the active ingredients in Vigro® can help reduce non-genetic hair thinning. These active ingredients can assist the scalp with non-genetic hair thinning by cleaning and opening the hair shaft preparing the scalp for penetration of the actives, as well as assisting hair follicles to reduce hair thinning through the active ingredient Follicusan™ (topical products). ** The Vigro® 3-Step System also provides a combination of vitamins and minerals needed for healthy hair growth. Consult your doctor before using Vigro® capsules during pregnancy or breastfeeding. * *Efficacy of support may vary between users. Consult a medical practitioner for a diagnosis or if symptoms persist. Use as indicated. Vigro®3-Step System is not indicated for genetic hair loss.

March 6, 2018

6 Tips on how to potty train your autistic child

Parenting children with autism can be very difficult because it involves dealing with many problems that wouldn’t generally come up if you had a normally developing child. One of such problems can be toilet training which can take some autistic kids longer than their siblings or friends to learn how to use the lavatory. Many parents of children with Autism become frustrated when trying to teach their toddlers to use the toilet. In general practice, the autistic child just sits in the toilet and does nothing. Diapers often get bulky and really irritating to change; and of course a child has to be potty trained in order to be able to go to school. Fortunately, there are many research studies that reveal numerous strategies that can be handy in potty training an autistic child. Remove Your Child’s Fear Around Toilet When training your child to use the toilet, it is important that you break everything in small parts. Many autistic children have lots of fear around a lavatory.This could be because they feel they might fall in the commode or it’s very loud. Therefore, it is very important to remove this fear. Give your child the understanding of what a toilet is used for, introduce its different parts in a comparatively low-pressure environment. Don’t Force Your Child When you buy a potty chair and pull-up, you want your child to start using it right away. However, this cannot be the case even with a typically developing kid. If your autistic child doesn’t feel like doing it, let it go. Give them a break and try again after one week or so. Once your child is willing to do it, you shouldn’t make them sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes as it will cause them to get tired and lose their interest to learn using the toilet. Encourage Your Child with Physical Rewards Find some rewards that your child may like the most such as their favorite cookies, food or toy. Pick anything that is small and can be kept in the bathroom in order to be accessible easily. Use these rewards to encourage your child to do their job successfully. Patience Is The Key While working on how to potty train an autistic child can be irritating, you need to have patience in order to get success. You will need to stay in the washroom for some while every time you take your autistic child there. It’s a good idea to praise your child if they are willing to stay in the washroom and sit on the commode even if they aren’t doing anything but sitting. Acknowledge Each Step Accomplished Successfully If your child accidently does something in the toilet, it’s the best time to show them where the waste is supposed to end up. After they get the idea, let them flush the toilet and use water to clean. Remember, every step accomplished gradually gets your child closer to the finish line which should be praised even if it is not accomplished in order. Train With A Routine Children with Autism tend to make a routine and stick to it for whatever tasks they do. This can help you teach your autistic child how to use the toilet. Keep a record of time and duration your toddler gets wet and take them to the toilet at those times.You can get them used to a regular routine; for example, take them to the washroom every 30 minutes. Parenting a child with Autism can feel like learning to walk upside down and backwards. Perhaps, you have been perplexed by your little one and wondered how to communicate with them well enough to help them use the toilet. Figure out what motivates your autistic child and how they learn the best and then incorporate both aspects in your approach.

March 6, 2018

3 Signs your baby is going through a growth spurt

Here are the Signs your Baby is going through a Growth Spurt: Your baby wants to eat nonstop Your baby will be up more often at night and have short day naps, but have sleep more in total Your baby will be crankier than usual Click here for an explanation of a growth spurt. Click here to read the common ages baby goes through a growth spurt in the first year.

March 6, 2018

International Recognition for New Distance Education Learning System

Home education was legalised in South Africa in 1996 and has been increasing in popularity ever since. FutureLearn, a distance education provider for learners in the schooling phase, estimates that there are currently around 90 000 home-education learners in South Africa, of which more than 16 000 makes use of their products and services. And, while there are many benefits, distance education is also characterised by a lack of interaction between the learner and the facilitator. This means that distance education providers need to develop effective technology-driven learning systems to optimise learner success. Two of FutureLearn’s staff members, Prof. Rita Niemann (Executive Head: Academics) and Eloise Nolte (Executive Head: Innovation Consulting Group) joined forces to develop a comprehensive learning eco-system that would enhance learning, irrespective of the lack of face-to-face interaction. Using FutureLearn as a case study, Niemann and Nolte conducted research to reflect on both the theoretical and practical concerns when designing a learning system. The theoretical concerns focused on the basic learning theories and curriculum requirements, while the practical concerns looked at the implications that these theoretical concerns hold for the development of a learning system. Niemann and Nolte studied the various learning theories and conducted a synthesis between the core principles of learning and the requirements of the country’s national curriculum (CAPS) to develop a learning taxonomy (as seen below). The learning taxonomy challenges distance education providers (like FutureLearn) to figure out how these theoretical learning principles could be transferred into practice. Niemann and Nolte’s research, however, provides a framework for building a system that would ensure that the principles of learning meet the technological demands. Niemann and Nolte’s paper will be presented at the International Conference on Business, Economics and Social Sciences in Lombok, Bali in April this year, as well as at the annual EduWeek in Midrand in June. Their paper has also been accepted to be published in the International Journal of Economics Research (Vol 15, 2018).

March 5, 2018

Warning signs of child abuse that you need to watch out for

Having a child is one of the gifts of life that a lot of people hope to get; after all, a child can always make our day. Unfortunately, not all lives of children are perfect, and some of them fall victim to abuse. Sometimes, we encounter children every day and not know that they’re already showing signs of child abuse. If we want to help protect children and avoid cases of child abuse, we should be more aware of the signs of child abuse to watch out for, especially if you encounter children every day. Do remember however that the tips below aren’t the only signs of child abuse you should be aware of, and if you’re extremely concerned about the status of some children in your area, you may want to consult a lawyer, a police officer, or even a psychiatrist about the telling signs of child abuse you should be aware of and what course of action you should take in order to make sure children in your area are protected from child abuse. Physical Signs of Child Abuse If there are any noticeable signs of child abuse you shouldn’t ignore, it’s the physical signs on a child’s body. These are warning signs that should immediately give you a heads up that there’s something wrong with a child. Try to be on the lookout for these telling signs. A child might be abused if they have bruising, burns, or welts that can’t be explained. This is particularly if these injuries are found on the mouth, lips, or face. Check to see if there are bruising patterns that are in the shape of things you find at home that may have been used to hit them, such as wire hangers, bite marks, hairbrushes, belts, and hands. Clustered burns, welts, and bruises may indicate some form of repetitive contact with an instrument or hand. If there are places on a child’s body where they don’t normally get hurt such as the thighs, back, neck, and buttocks, then you might be looking at a victim of child abuse. Take note of abrasions and lacerations, or tears in gum tissues, lips, and eyes as these indicate injuries on the face or even force-feeding. Try to take note if a child has blood in the underwear, complaints of pain in the genitalia, or trouble walking and sitting. If a child appears to exhibit poor hygiene, poor growth in both weight and height, or the lack of appropriate dental, medical, or psychological attention, then these might also be indications of abuse. Emotional Signs of Child Abuse Unfortunately, sometimes the signs of child abuse can also manifest emotionally. Children who exhibit withdrawal, appear fearful, or even show some form of extreme behavior might be abused and don’t have an outlet to share their pain. Children that have sudden changes of behavior such as anger, hyperactivity, aggression, and hostility might indicate some sudden change in the household as well, or a sign of a traumatic experience. If children begin to exhibit changes in school performance or a reluctance to go to school or even a reluctance to go home, then perhaps there might be something wrong at home that needs looking into. A child who shows defiant and rebellious behavior such as attempts to runaway may be experiencing child abuse. This is much more so if there are visible attempts at self harm or even suicide. If a child has a loss of self-esteem or self-confidence and even withdrawal from socializing with others, or perhaps the opposite, where a child always seeks affection from others, then these might be indications of something wrong at home. Signs of Abuse From Parents Sometimes, parents themselves show that they may be abusing their children. These are also things we may need to take note of if ever we are concerned about their children. If they show little to no concern for the child or appear to be incapable of recognising emotional or physical distress from their child, then they may be neglecting them. If the child often becomes the receiving end of blame, berating and belittling, then the child may be experiencing the same at home. If they demand quite the inappropriate standards when it comes to academic or physical performance to the point of forcefully withdrawing their children from contact with others, then this can also be a telling sign of abuse. If parents have conflicting, inconsistent, or unconvincing stories about how a child’s injuries have occurred, then child abuse may have happened at home. The official website of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts also has detailed guidelines on what signs to check in terms of child abuse and neglect, and numbers you should call should you find yourself in the area. Please be in touch with your own local authorities for a good course of action should you encounter these signs in your area as well. Conclusion Life is not perfect, and it has its own ups and downs for us to appreciate and conquer. However, despite life’s own share of sad moments, children help make everything feel better thanks to the ray of hope they give when they are inquisitive, curious, and creative. Some say the children we see are the hope for the future, and sometimes it can break our hearts when we see them hurt, sometimes by the people that should care for them. The above tips could hopefully give you some warning signs of child abuse you need to watch out for in order to make sure children in your area are adequately protected. Should you encounter these signs, it’s best you contact the authorities and ask for the best course of action regarding the situation. About The Author Irene Wall has been writing about law for more than a decade. She writes pieces on various law topics that she hopes could help the common reader with their concerns. She enjoys playing basketball with her sons during her free time.

March 5, 2018

Toddler chores

Giving your toddler chores around the house from an early age will make it easier for them to complete tasks in future. Here are some ideas for age appropriate chores for toddlers: Packing away toys Putting clothes in wash basket Sweeping the floor Setting the table for meals Clearing the table after meals Wiping surfaces Folding laundry Feeding pets Washing the car My 3 year old has set chores and she loves doing them every day! If I try and set the table there is a huge commotion. She also loves doing things for her baby brother like putting his milk bottle next to our bed, getting out nappies and wet wipes when it is time to change his nappy, choosing his clothes for the day and packing her and her brother’s creche bags away in the cupboard every afternoon. Her absolute favourite thing to do is feed her brother snacks, and it is very helpful as I can get the dishes done or start cooking a meal. It is very cute to see how dedicated she is to her tasks. Of course it took a lot of time to teach her some things and very often she still makes more of a mess than cleaning up, like when she sweeps the floor there is more dirt all over the house than before. The point is she will learn how to do it properly in time and then it will be a great help to have someone else help with the household tasks. Does your child do chores and what is he/ she responsible for?

March 5, 2018

What can be done about night terrors

Night terrors can be very stressful and frightening. When a child has a night terror he/ she is so deep into the dream, he cannot hear the person trying to wake him, even though the child may look at you and seem to be awake. Often a child may cry out, ask for help, thrash, kick, and scream — but cannot be comforted. Make your child’s room safe to try to prevent him from being injured during an episode. Eliminate all sources of sleep disturbance, such as caffeine, sugar, and high-energy activities before bed. Maintain a consistent bedtime routine and wake-up time. Unfortunately, there is not much you can do to help your child during the actual episode except to make sure he is safe. Just take comfort in the fact that the night terror is short-lived. If your child has night terrors, you can try to interrupt his/her sleep in order to prevent one. Here is how to do it: First, note how many minutes the night terror occurs from your child’s bedtime. Then, awaken your child 15 minutes before the expected night terror, and keep her awake and out of bed for five minutes. You may want to take your child to the bathroom to see if he/ she will urinate. Continue this routine for a week. Have you had any experience with night terrors? What helped?

March 3, 2018

3 Cool math apps for kids that make learning fun and exciting

I have always been interested in the educational toys and games, rather than toys and games that are mindless but fun. I am the type of mom that likes to give my daughter puzzles and books rather than Barbie Dolls. Now that my daughter recently turned 5 years old and just went back to play school to start Grade R, I am paying even more attention to anything educational that will help my daughter with her schooling in the coming years. One thing she has just started getting interested in is math. She just loves figuring out basic sums and the thing is that she hates being wrong and given her age, her attention span is not that great yet. But one thing she just loves is getting hold of my phone or ipad and being able to play a game. This can hold her attention longer than the battery can hold out! Does this sound familiar perhaps? I’ve come to realize how different life is for young kids compared to when I was growing up. Something that I have taken quite an interest in now since having children is apps. There is like an app for absolutely everything! What an incredible way to teach your child important things like math in such a fun and captivating way? Math apps will have your kids full attention learning addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Here are 3 cool math apps for kids that make learning fun and exciting: Math Racer (iOS/Android) Math Racer allows children (and parents if they wish to give it a try) to race a car as quickly and as far as they can. The faster they solve the addition problems, the quicker they will be able to unlock new race cars by collecting coins for correct answers . Of course, no racing game is complete without obstacles and this game will keep every child’s eyes glued to the screen as they try to come in first every time! Math Space (iOS/Android) Math Space is quite similar to Math Racer, but in this game children will be zooming around space as they quickly solve addition equations. They get to choose their own spaceship to fly in outer space and once they solved enough equations, they can unlock new spaceships. Math Manimals (iOS/Android) Math Manimals is a unique app that will take children from basic addition skills to more challenging division skills. Each manimal that they can use in the game is different and while they begin with Elliot, they can quickly earn points to unlock new manimals. Children will find themselves helping their manimals dodge flying objects while avoiding other obstacles on their way to the end of the game. Each of these apps by webgearing.com is available on iOS and Android for just $0.99. The beauty of getting math apps like these is that your children will not only learn much faster, but they will not even realize that they are busy learning. They will be so engrossed with playing the game and trying to reach new levels that it most likely won’t register to them that that they are busy learning. Now I have mentioned before on a number of occasions on my blog that I am not keen on giving my kids screen time on my phone or on my iPad, however when it comes to something like math apps or other educational apps I am prepared to bend the rules a bit. This means my child will cherish this screen time even more!

March 1, 2018

Must a childminder have twin experience to care for twins?

It is fair to say that just about all baby related business’s prey on new parents who are expecting multiples as they see this as an easy way to make more money. They will often mislead multiple parents into believing that if they pay a higher premium for something they will be getting a better service, or a better product etc. This is not always the case. When it comes to childcare, agencies will tell you that in order to have the best care for your multiples you should employ a lady who has experience with twins. If you do this you are expected to pay more for her than for a lady who has worked with singletons. I am very pleased to inform you that this is totally misleading and I speak from my own experience as a mom of twins who chose a lady who had no twin experience from a very large database of candidates at my disposal and she turned out to be an absolute gem. This is what you need to look for : The lady must have worked with multiple children, meaning she can multiple task, not necessarily twins. Her temperament is more important, she should be full of smiles, kind, patient, energetic and have a good command of the english language. With this half of the battle is already won. She must have experience with toddlers, if you want to have her long term she should understand that toddlers are a lot more work than babies as they are more demanding. She should have first aid, a childcare certificate and a sleep course would be an added benefit. As the children get older you can add a stimulation course Does she understand how routines work Test on basic terminology, I have found when teaching a childcare course the childminders don’t understand words like “ swaddle “ and “ drooling “ this can lead to communication problems Give scenarios and ask how she will handle it, for example if both babies are crying what will you do? I found I don’t like a candidate that has worked in a lot of homes, they become spoilt and start telling the moms what to do. There is a fine line between a new mom needing help and wanting guidance. If you have other children always have a 5 day trial run to see how she fits in your home. An interview is very different to someone in action What to do when you are ready to employ someone: Be clear on what you need, some families want a lady who will clean and take care of the children other families want a lady who acts purely as a childminder. A professional childminder earns more than a domestic childminder. You should start planning from around 30 weeks on who you want to employ. Register with an agency and start the interview process, you want enough time to not be pressurised into having to take someone. Remember you wont know exactly when your babies will be due and they may stay longer in hospital than anticipated, so rather give an estimated start date. Stay in contact with your candidate so that she doesn’t get nervous Take the time to check references, also speaking to the previous moms might give you some tips on what to do to make your life easier Always give employment contracts, I advise to start off with only a short contract of 3 months, you can then extend it if both parties are happy. That way you are not tied down if you are not happy. You are looking for someone who shares the same beliefs and principles as you and who works hand in hand with you. You need to be a single unit and not feel like you are swimming uphill every day. Remember that these childminders love their jobs and are proud of what they do. They want to make you and your children happy.

February 28, 2018

Hearing in the young child

Hearing ability is crucial for development of speech and language in the young child. In South Africa especially, hearing loss in children often goes undetected until the child has passed the critical period of language and speech development. The hearing loss is usually only picked up when the child is about to enter school and has no little communication skills. Even a mild hearing loss can inhibit a child’s ability to development communication and language skills severely! Late detection has detrimental problems on the child’s mental, cognitive, developmental and social aspects of life. The key to avoid late detection is awareness of the fatal implications of undetected hearing loss and the signs and symptoms that parents and care giver should look out for in a child’s early life. There are many factors that put a child at risk for hearing loss. These factors can be categorized into: hearing loss that is present at birth (congenital) or hearing loss that developed after birth (acquired hearing loss). Parents and caregivers should be vigilant if the following risk factors are identified: Indicators for a high risk of hearing loss present at birth (Congenital Hearing loss) Family history of permanent hearing loss in childhood Maternal infections during pregnancy or delivery these include: Toxoplasmosis, Syphilis, HIV, Hepatitis B, Rubella, CMV, Herpes simplex. Physical problems of the head, face, ears, or neck (cleft lip/palate, ear pits/tags, atresia) Ototoxic medications given in the neonatal period Born with any Syndrome associated with hearing loss (Pendred, Usher, Waardenburg, neurofibromatosis) Admission to a neonatal intensive care unit greater than 5 days Prematurity (< 37 weeks) Hyperbilirubinemia Low Agar score (0-3) Disorder of the brain or nervous system Indicators for a high risk for acquired hearing loss after birth: Childhood diseases such as mumps or measles Untreated middle ear infections Perforated eardrum Excessive loud noise such as gunshots, fireworks or loud music Severe injury to the head Ototoxic medication Otitis media / Ear infections (explained later in article) With these risk factors there are also many signs and symptoms that parents and caregivers can look out for: Child isn’t startled by loud sounds Child is inattentive during interactions Doesn’t respond to parents voice Doesn’t make babble sounds Doesn’t imitate sounds or words like ”bye-bye”, “mama” Fails to respond to their name Fails to turn his/her head to a sound source Fails to follow simple instructions With these signs and symptoms it is also important for parents and caregivers to take note of speech and development milestones from 12 – 36 months which are related to receptive language ( ability to understand words and speech) and expressive language ( ability to use speech and gestures to make meaningful communication) Age groups Receptive Language Expressive Language 12 – 24 months Recognize names of family members and familiar objects Use hand gestures to signal something such as finger pointing to toys Understand simple phrases e.g. ‘give me’ , ‘no’, ‘ all gone’ Make one-two syllable sounds that stands for something they want e.g. ‘nana’ for a bottle By 18months know names of body parts , objects and places By 18 months – use of made up language- mixture of made up and understandable words Follow simples instructions like ‘ put the ball down’ or ‘come to mommy’ Between 1-2 years old has a vocabulary of at least 20-50 words which are understood by family members 24-36 Months Know and point to at least 7 body parts Tend to start speaking a lot and questioning surroundings and environment Follow simple requests like ‘ pick up the shoes’ Use pronouns such as ‘ me, you, yours’ but often get it mixed up Understand questions and points to pictures when asked what it is e.g. where is the rabbit or show me the balloon Make simple phrases such as ‘ want more food’ or ‘ no sleep time’ By age 3 should have 150-200 words in vocabulary and stranger should be able to comprehend their speech Another major risk factor that parents should be on alert for is Otitis Media with Effusion (OME) or better known as ‘glue ear’. It is described as build-up of non-infected fluid in the middle ear. OME is common among children between 6 months and 3 years of age. The fluid could sometimes resolve itself however if OME is left untreated or last more than 6 days it can to fluid becoming infected and causes a temporary decrease in hearing. OME can sometimes go undetected due to the lack of obvious or acute symptoms. OME is usually caused by a poor functioning Eustachian tube (ET), this tube is a link between the middle ear and the throat. The ET helps us to equalize the pressure between the air around you and the middle ear. When the ET doesn’t function correctly it stops normal drainage from the middle ear causing an accumulation of fluid behind the child’s eardrum The following are also risk factors for your child developing OME: Drinking from a bottle while lying on their back- this causes milk to seep into child’s ears Developing a common cold 2nd hand smoke Not breastfeeding Craniofacial abnormalities ( cleft palate , cleft lip ) OME can be very subtle and sometimes hard to detect however your child may show the following signs: Continued tagging of ear Hearing difficulties Loss of balance Delayed speech development The only way to correctly diagnose an OME is to visit an Audiologist. The Audiologist will perform a Tympanometry test. This test will reveal findings of the status of the middle ear, giving information about any fluid present in the ear, mobility of the middle ear and volume of fluid in the ear. Tympanograms can be read off graphs and normative data of pressure and volume, the Audiologist can make a diagnosis from any abnormalities in the results. If a fluid build-up in the middle ear is detected it should be monitored to determine whether it clears up by itself. Should the fluid build-up not

February 22, 2018

Words can make or break

What you say, and how you say it Your words, (and how you say them), are being absorbed by your kids all the time. Neuroscientist, Louis Cozolino, tells us that the amygdala (that part of our brain that is activated in fear situations) pays special attention to anger signals, while positive, warm encouragement increases serotonin (a feel-good hormone). This means that simply through words (and how we say them), we literally have the power to change everything! Words can build your child up, or break him down. It takes much more effort to undo the negative effects of our words, than it does to start speaking positively. So why not give positivity a go. Remember : young children take words literally – their logic and reasoning isn’t well developed yet kids take things personally and misinterpret – often making wrong assumptions they believe what we tell them – adults are powerful, be careful of sarcasm they remember negative comments easily – in comparison to praise children become what you tell them – be encouraging and speak “as if” they’re already co-operating (e.g. “nice listening”) “yes” motivates – “no” makes kids defensive (e.g. “Yes, you can have that after supper”) Speaking consciously is an ongoing learning in self-awareness. Yet words can change lives, so be patient with yourself and watch how your new way of talking easily wins their co-operation and starts to change how they view themselves.

February 21, 2018

Raising Awareness about Mediation:

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body typically with an undesirable effect. A Divorce is a decision with emotional consequences that is, at its best, a difficult undertaking. Clients choose to go to attorneys with a variety of needs, only some of which are legal in nature. The end of a relationship is however much more than this. Whether your relationship was short or long, there is so much more than a legal dissolution which needs to be considered. A Divorce, realistically, entails 3 divorces: The Emotional Divorce The Financial Divorce The Legal Divorce And they ought to be addressed in this order. Mediation is a voluntary, interactive and solution focused process used in a way to assist and resolve dispute between 2 or more parties. Mediation keeps the focus on the needs and rights of the parties and helps them to negotiate an agreement in a solution focused approach. Mediation is broadly becoming recognised as a more peaceful and accepted solution to end conflict and therefore is best suited for Family law matters which are seldom fit to be litigated in court. Many times, divorcing clients feel stuck and unable to make critical decisions about their life, leaving the legal process unable to move forward. Mediation is different from going to an Attorney in that it will support the clients in the divorce process by guiding them to make decisions themselves. It will not tell them how to handle their legal, financial and personal affairs but it will guide both parties through the process, if not more amicably, then more efficiently. Co-Mediation The Co-Mediation model, involves the appointment of two mediators: A mediator with a mental health background and A mediator with a legal background. The two mediators work together as a team, to assist the parties in resolving all of their disputes upon separation or divorce. The mental health mediator focuses on the mental, emotional and psychological well being of both parties and the best interests of any minor children, while the parties are conducting their negotiations. The legal mediator, facilitate and guide the parties, to ensure that all of their negotiations and possible solutions found during the mediation process are within the ambit of the law. In this manner, divorce Co-Mediation is able to provide broader guidance to the parties, accelerate the process of the divorce once an agreement has been reached and assist to keep legal costs down, by being less time consuming. It must however be noted that the legal mediator does not in any way act as the legal representative of either party during the mediation process. The recommended time span required to complete unopposed divorce co-mediation is 2 – 3 sessions of 2 hours each, depending on the nature and complexity of the matter. ~ The Law doesn’t raise children, Parents do & Love is not court ordered ~ For more info: [email protected]

February 19, 2018

Should We Be Giving Our Teens Condoms?

I don’t think there is a parent on the planet who wouldn’t cringe at the thought of their 12 year old having sex. And so when, last year, our education department proposed to hand out condoms to kids aged 12 and up, without any parental consent needed, it made many parents feel a little uneasy. It is understandable that a lot of people oppose this idea, regardless of the thought processes behind it. And yet, just because kids having sex makes us uncomfortable does not mean that it isn’t happening. And I’m not just talking about lower class, uneducated youth either. Just last year there was a case in a very wealthy neighbourhood where a family tried to immigrate to Oz and on doing their final medicals discovered that their 11 year-old daughter was HIV positive. It turns out she and a group of her friends were having sex with the security guards in the complex where they lived. We like to assume it isn’t happening and if it is happening it isn’t in our neighbourhoods or our schools or with our children. We have to get our heads out of the sand. Teen pregnancies are on the increase in South Africa and we have one of the highest HIV rates in the world. Teenagers are sexual by their very nature and by making sex taboo or keeping it as an unspoken in our homes and schools, we are not helping them to deal with the very real pressures and dangers that they are going to face in the real world. I applaud this move by the education department. Around the world there is evidence that having more open, relaxed conversations with teens about sex, by supplying them with contraceptives and helping them to understand how and why to use them, and giving them the opportunity to explore their sexuality safely reduces teen pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and abortions. This completely contradicts the fears that most parents have that if they start handing condoms out to kids that there is going to be more teen sex and all the issues that go along with that. Nobody is running around encouraging children to get it on with each other. The department of education is simply looking at the facts and taking action. And the fact is… Kids are going to have sex whether we talk about it or not. Kids are going to have sex whether we want them to or not. Kids are going to have sex whether we educate them on it or not. Kids are going to have sex whether we supply them with condoms or not. Let’s do the right thing and make sure that if they have sex they are able to do this safely and that they understand the risks involved. Let us give our children both condoms and the education that goes along with that. An educated, aware child has a greater chance of survival than one who is kept in the dark. Handing a child a condom does not ensure that they are going to have sex. But not making condoms available ensures that if they do have sex the consequences are much more likely to be tragic. Let’s keep pregnancies for the adults!

February 16, 2018

Huggies® raises awareness around childbirth education this February

A very limited number of expectant mothers research their options before giving birth and as a result childbirth educators, hospitals, and baby product providers such as Huggies®, focus on childbirth education annually during the month of February where there is an emphasis on pregnancy awareness. The nine months leading up to childbirth can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling times in a woman’s life. However, choosing to have a baby is also one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. It is therefore vital that you become informed about the many facets of pregnancy. The experience of birth profoundly affects women and their families. One of the best ways for women to empower themselves before giving birth is to attend childbirth education classes, to consult a childbirth educator or read various online and printed guides that are available for expectant mothers. “We would like to encourage pregnant women to gain knowledge. Know your options. Get evidence based information. Know dad’s role. Make informed decisions. Question all aspects of pregnancy, labour, birth and parenting. Learn more about vaginal births and caesareans. Gain insight on breastfeeding options. Know about skin-to-skin for all moms and babies as well as self-help techniques,” says Nthabiseng Leso, Senior Brand Manager: Point of Market Entry (POME). Pregnant women need to know their rights, including: The right of a woman to choose her companion who will provide her with support during pregnancy and childbirth, and who will accompany her to the antenatal care clinic and help her through the labour The right of the woman to be treated with respect, dignity and confidentiality The right of the woman to ask questions and to get explanation about her condition To understand the importance of childbirth education, Huggies® introduced The Huggies® Club in 2016 at public clinics across the country. This program facilitates a number of heath talks which focus on a variety of topics that relate to pregnancy, birth and new born care. These talks are conducted by Huggies® Brand Mums. These Brand Mums are well-trained and knowledgeable. They work together with the Department of Health, public clinics and have been involved in several health-related campaigns. The talks cover topics that include: The opportunity to exclude and manage existing medical conditions which can be aggravated by the pregnancy, such as hypertension, diabetes, infections and anaemia Free HIV testing and voluntarily counselling (VCT) Early recognition of danger signs in pregnancy and post delivery Birth preparedness and complication readiness Self-care including nutrition and high standard of hygiene Information on the role of the father, the male partner and the family Lynne Bluff, a registered nurse and internationally recognised childbirth educator who is also the editor of the Expectant Mother’s Guide explains how important childbirth education classes are: “Proper childbirth education can help women become more confident and far less fearful about giving birth. We do what we do because we want moms to come out of labour and be able to say, “that was a wonderful experience,””. Being properly prepared both physically and emotionally, and becoming knowledgeable about the various options and considerations regarding childbirth is crucial for parents. This allows them to feel confident about giving birth and ensures that they will know how to provide the necessary care once their precious newborn arrives.

February 15, 2018

Get a second chance at success

If you’ve recently completed Grade 12, you’ll know that your matric results can lead to many exciting opportunities. Your matric certificate can help you get into the university or course of your choice, it looks great on your CV and it can help you ace that job interview by showing that you have the necessary skills to do the job. But, what if your results were not what you hoped they would be and all these opportunities seem out of reach? You don’t have to be stuck with your less-than-great grades for the rest of your life. You can get a second chance at success. Impaq, an innovative education solution provider, can help. You can register to redo some of your Grade 12 subjects in order to improve your results. Plus, you don’t have to be an Impaq learner to qualify. If you went to a public or private high school or received your matric certificate through a distance learning provider, you can still apply to redo your matric subjects with Impaq. The only requirement is that you must have had a sitting for the final examination in order to qualify. Once you’ve applied and been accepted, Impaq will register you with the South African Comprehensive Assessment Institute (SACAI) to ensure that you receive your new (and improved) National Senior Certificate after passing the NSC Examination for the rewritten subjects. To see if you qualify, send an email to [email protected]. The final cut-off date for registrations is 15 February 2018.

February 15, 2018

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD’S EMOTIONS?

Emotions… we all have them and there is no denying them as we are all born with them. Emotions are wonderful things to have, that is when they make us feel good. But, when they make us feel bad, they can potentially send us into a flat spin. Especially if it is your child who is feeling yukky and you have no idea what to do about it. So what are emotions and what does it mean when your child is throwing a tantrum, sulking, hitting other children, feeling sad or distressed. Emotions are the energy of feelings and feelings are based on what we think, especially about what we think about ourselves and the situations we are in. Let me explain, if you think there is something wrong with you, you will feel bad about yourself. Your actions will demonstrate how you are feeling and will be expressed from a place of anger or sadness or even depression. Another example is, if your child thinks they are not important, that you are too busy to spend any time with them. This may lead them to feel neglected or isolated which will come across again as sadness or resentment or any other kind of ‘negative’ type of emotion. The behaviour from this can manifest in a few ways. Tantrums, being ‘naughty’, ill-behaved or any kind of behaviour that is displayed to seek attention. The reason for this ‘bad behaviour’ is that children would rather get any attention, including being punished than have no attention at all. Emotions need to be viewed as a guidance system, your very own inbuilt GPS as emotion is what brings our attention to what is going on on a deeper level. A child does not have the ability or emotional literacy to express that they feeling are neglected, especially younger children, hence the reason that they demonstrate it with their emotions. However, this does not only apply to young children, but to older children and adults as well. Our emotions also cause a chemical reaction in the body. When we feel love, endorphins like serotonin and oxytocin are released into the body. These chemicals make us feel content and peaceful and happy. When we feel frustrated, resentful or fearful, cortisol and adrenaline are released into the body which makes us feel stressed, angry and aggressive. However, not only are our emotions affected by how we feel or think, they are also affected by our environment. What we eat, what is going on at school, what is going on at home, all has an affect on our emotions and ultimately our behaviour. When we eat processed food or food that contains chemicals like preservatives, colourants and artificial sweeteners, the body sees these as toxic or as poisons and tries to rid itself of it as quickly as possible. The behaviour that results from this is hyper activity, over activity or anxiety. Too much sugar has the same affect. In some cases sugar actually causes people to feel tired and lethargic. Especially when a person’s diet is not balanced and you are not getting enough protein, veg and healthy fats to balance it all out. Other chemicals that affect emotions and behaviour are the chemicals we inhale, like smoke, fumes, perfumes and household chemicals. All of these have an affect on the body’s chemical reaction which then affects emotions and energy. Other factors that affect a child’s emotions, are other people’s emotions. Emotions are incredibly contagious. If parents are stressed, worried, anxious or if they bicker and fight a lot, this will be transferred to your child and they will feel what you are feeling. This can be incredibly stressful for a child because they will have no idea what to do with it and often their behaviour once again will be affected. The same thing will happen if their teacher if stressed out or if the children in your child’s class are stressed and more so if there is bullying going on at school. I’m sure you can now appreciate why it’s so important to understand emotions so that you can help your child, and yourself, to deal with them. Unresolved emotions can cause incredible distress, anxiety and stress and the quicker you learn how to identify and ope with them, the better it is for everyone. If you want some help understanding emotions, then do join our free support group for parents and teachers on Facebook which you can find here

February 14, 2018

The Magic Words: “Please” and “Thank You”

Written By: Barbara Eaton (Academic Development Co-ordinator for ADvTECH Schools Division) The magic words: Are the traditional magic words “please” and “thank you” that many people learn as children disappearing in today’s society? Why is it important to teach this to your child and how do you teach your child these magic words? Civilised and primitive societies have always insisted on certain standards, such as having respect for elders, greeting people respectfully and saying please and thank you appropriately. Eating habits are also defined by the cultural norms of the community. Many cultures begin to inculcate these standards in their children from a very young age, but in this on-line, texting and less verbally communicative society, are these societal norms a thing of the past? Do we still need to teach our children manners? I would say a definite YES! This is hard for parents when their children watch barbaric and seemingly acceptable behaviour on their screens and even Disney films depict “bratty children” who get their own way and virtually rule their parents. I visited a classroom recently where written large on the wall was, “The only rule in this class is that we respect each other” This sums up how we should act towards each other in order to live in harmony, and societal harmony is desperately needed in South Africa. If we can inculcate respectful behaviour for others by modelling it to children from babyhood, the polite norms of different societies are easily learned. In canvassing my colleagues of different cultures, it is clear that everyone expect their children to learn how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ appropriately and to eat in a polite manner. Whether the child says ‘thank you’ or claps her hands in thanks is immaterial. In our multi-cultural society it would be good for children to learn how this can be done in various ways. This will teach tolerance and mutual respect. After all, if we visit other countries, we make a point to learn their customs in order to avoid giving offence. Why do we not accord our own countrymen the same respect? For a child to make eye contact with adults is frowned on by some African cultures but considered polite in Euro-centric cultures. Let’s explain this to our children so that they understand how to behave. Spending so much time on digital devices has the risk of forcing children to look downwards for extended periods of time. They could be missing the social clues of facial expression and body language that grease the wheels of smooth communication. Many enlightened schools are teaching this emotional literacy to their pupils and this will help them to understand themselves and others better. Being polite to others is something we as parents have to teach, model and reinforce until the child achieves automaticity. It may seem a chore, but like other skills, it will smooth your child’s social interaction with teachers, peers and others. We all know that when our child brings home an impossibly rude and difficult child for a play date, we are unlikely to extend a second invitation. This is not the child’s fault but that of his parents and that child will soon find himself unwelcome in most homes. ‘Don’t do as I do, do as I say.’ This does not work with children. You cannot expect good manners from your child and at the same time be rude to waiters, yell at your spouse and swear at taxi drivers! Consistency is key in reinforcing polite behaviour. They need to learn that rudeness is hurtful and unnecessary, unattractive and immature. This doesn’t mean that they need to be doormats, being politely assertive is also a skill worth learning. More…/2 Do your children a favour and teach them good manners and respect, they will thank you for it later.

February 12, 2018

How to do your laundry during Level 6B water restrictions

By now you would have heard that as of 1 February 2018, the City of Cape Town is implementing Level 6B water restrictions, limiting Capetonians to 50 litres of water usage, per person, per day. Sources such as EWN have put together helpful breakdowns of what exactly one can do with 50 litres per day (see infograph), and as expected, laundry is predicted to take up a bulk of the total amount. The average modern, high-efficiency home washing machine uses about 50 litres of water per cycle. That’s an entire day’s worth of water, gone! It is estimated that older machines may use anywhere between 56 and 150 litres per batch. If the city reaches the dreaded (but expected) Day Zero, each person will have to queue for an allocated 25 litres per day, making home laundry close to impossible. Green Planet Laundry allows Capetonians to save water and stay within their allocated amount, without having to wear dirty socks! About Green Planet Laundry The first of its kind in Africa, this innovative laundry uses purified borehole water instead of valuable municipal drinking water. While the average home washing machine uses a minimum of 50 litres of drinking water per cycle, Green Planet Laundry uses zero litres, offering major relief for the drought-stricken Western Cape dams. Green Planet Laundry recycles and reuses 98% of the borehole water used on site, and feeds it back into the laundry system. Only water used to clean heavily-soiled laundry (such as spa towels and industrial overalls) is disposed of professionally. Kind to your clothing, kind to the environment and very competitively priced, Green Planet Laundry is the answer not only during the time of drought, but also for the future to ensure we adopt a water-wise lifestyle. Green Planet Laundry services the greater part of Cape Town, from Strand to Paarl to Duynefontein to Cape Point, and offers a convenient same-day collection service (terms and conditions apply). Cape Town residents can now experience the convenience of sending their laundry to be cleaned without the guilt of wasting natural resources, and exceeding their daily allocated amount. In addition to servicing individuals, they also service major companies that require large-scale laundry, such as hotels. For more information and hi res imagery, please mail [email protected] https://greenplanetlaundry.com/ https://www.facebook.com/GreenPlanetLaundry/ #greenplanetlaundry

February 9, 2018

5 Tips for coping with a newborn and a toddler

I (Kit) gave birth to my son Noah on the 24th August and at the time of his birth my daughter, Sarah, was just over 18 months old. The months since have passed in a flash and whilst I’m still new at this mommying 2 thing; below I share 5 tips of what’s worked for me so far as a mom of 2. Be intentional with your 1st born during your 3rd Trimester 3rd trimester is hard, hands down…but with a toddler in-tow its SUPER hard. I found my last few weeks of pregnancy particularly trying but in saying that, I made it my mission to be present with Sarah and invest in quality time with her. I was fortunate enough to have a planned (day before) induction of natural labour and thus had a full day that I got to dedicate to just Se Bear and me. It was the most phenomenal way to end my pregnancy and to feel that I had given her my all, before Noah arrived. PS: I totally sobbed putting her down that night, knowing it was her last night as an only child. Eeek and now the tears come again! Embrace your time in hospital I realize that not everyone chooses to have their babe in a hospital, and I totally respect that, but this tip is for those who do. For me, my time in hospital is what I’ll always remember as bliss for both Noah and me. YES you’re emotional, and sore, and bleeding…but the truth is that while in hospital, you’re expected to do little more than lie in bed and love your little one. First time round, these early days were a blur for me but with my second, I treasured every moment that I got with him in hospital, before the chaos of heading home to a busy toddler began. Involve your toddler where possible While I definitely paid 90% of my attention to Noah in his first few days at home, as I got the hang of things (and trust me, it comes back so quickly second time around), I slowly started including Se in our daily activities. I do have a fulltime nanny but Se loves staying with Noah and I. She watches me feed him (she plays at my feet) and my mum bought her a baby bath to bath her doll, whilst I bath Noah – too sweet for words. Slow down One kid is hectic.. two is just that little bit more hectic. I laugh as I write that, thinking of me stopping on the side of the road in 5pm traffic, after a play date for Sarah, to tend to a screaming 2-week-old Noah..while Se too screamed at the top of her lungs, not understanding why Noah could get out of his car seat and she couldn’t. But that was just one day…for the most part; I’ve actually been blown away by how easily we’ve sailed through these first few months. The one thing I have taken to heart though, is how important it is to slow down. I’m quick to put the kids in the car and head out and about, but the truth is, that I’m a happier mom (with more breast milk) with happier kids when we take the day slowly! Be kind to yourself This is probably my biggest tip for this post. Beautiful, you are totally capable and whilst balancing two seems impossible at times, you’ve got this!!! Trust your mommy instinct and speak kindly to yourself; as just as your kids adjust to the changes they’re experiencing, you too are journeying in your role as mom. <3

February 8, 2018

The curfew: Why is it so important

In times of both peace and unrest, the use of a curfew has ensured safety and control for “the people” and also those in authority. Putting a curfew in place for children and young adults serves a similar purpose. This topic, while controversial, is one that parents and guardians still find merit in, despite the popular, modern trend to be more lenient rather than restrictive. Curfews apply to children of all ages, and this extends to teens and young adults still living at home. There are several reasons that a curfew is an effective and valid parenting tool. One of the more “selfish” reasons a curfew can be considered is the fact that if there is a curfew in place it allows the parents to better plan their lives by applying times that suit them; and that the parents are not kept up waiting all night for a young person to return home! Knowing that parents require you home at a certain time will also enhance your sensitivity to the needs of others; resulting in social courtesy. This courtesy makes for a far more manageable household. On a less flippant note; a curfew assists in ensuring the safety of our young people. Often, it is not how our children behave that worries us as parents, but rather how others behave. Certain times of day/night may be considered safer than others and so adhering to a curfew could assist in keeping your young person in a safe environment during those more risky times. In addition to this, a young person who is required to leave at a certain time will often be able use his/her curfew as a reason not to engage in certain behaviour or not to go somewhere where he/she is not comfortable. This is a very useful tool that they will have at their disposal and may allow them to bow out of an unwanted situation gracefully. Curfews have been helpful in ensuring the safety of our young people from behaviours such as drinking, drugs, promiscuity and violence. In a day and age where there are so many threats to a young person’s safety, we need to be using every tool at our disposal. Although most teenagers would deny it; something they yearn for is structure and a level of discipline. To a young person a complete lack of structure and discipline could equate to a lack of caring. It is a time in their lives when they are being bombarded from every side with new things to do and try and there is pressure from every sphere of their lives. Trying to balance school, sport, a social life and so on takes some doing. A parent can really assist if they put a curfew in place for the sake of the child’s busy schedule. This allows the child to form good habits and take responsibility for his/her schedule. Learning to work towards -and around- a curfew, and learning the importance of being on time is a vital skill so many of us have lost. Surprisingly, adherence to a curfew is so much more than a simple disciplinary step taken by parents. Once a child becomes accustomed to it, he/she will find that the same discipline applies to studying/personal relationships and general work ethic. It is obviously important to ensure that the curfew is reasonable, manageable and indeed, that it is appropriate and valid. It is not to be used as part of an autocratic style of parenting, but rather as a tool that benefits all members of the family. Often negotiation between parent and child will allow for some interesting discussions. Negotiating a curfew will also allow the child to feel his/her opinion is taken into consideration. Ultimately, of course, the decision needs to be that of the parent. The negotiation of a “curfew discretion” needs to be considered by parents too where the child is perhaps participating in something out of the ordinary. There needs to be a degree of give and take around curfew times. While the setting of a curfew is a powerful and meaningful tool to add to your arsenal as a parent, there are some limitations that need to be taken into consideration. This is not a means to yield power over a young person, rather something that should enhance your relationship of mutual trust. Simply setting a curfew will also not change poor behaviour miraculously either. It might curb some behaviours, but parenting is so much more complicated than just the issue of being home on time. Going back to the historical reason for curfews in society (that of ensuring safety and control), I think that if one can do anything to ensure the safety of our children in a world where that has become increasingly difficult; we should be doing it. Written By: Clare Pretorius (Senior Deputy Principal of Trinityhouse Randpark Ridge)

February 8, 2018

Five Challenges of Being a Single Dad and How to Overcome Them

As a single dad, you’ve got an amazingly challenging job. Chances are, you didn’t plan on going down this road. But here you are, managing a household single-handedly while raising a child (or several!) and holding down a job. You’re basically called upon to be Superman, without the cape or superpowers. If it’s any consolation, in 2016, there were 2.5 million men in your same boat according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Below are five challenges you might face, as well as ways to overcome them as you take on the most important job of your life. Lack of a Support System Single dads often hesitate to seek out other dads for advice or assistance. Own the fact that you can’t possibly know or do everything by yourself. Bouncing ideas off another single dad is not only helpful, but comforting. Look to your children’s school, your place of worship, or other organizations such as a single-parent support group. Also, don’t hesitate to say yes to your friends and family when they offer their help! Juggling the Demands of Work and Family As a single parent, you wear the hats of cook, nurse, teacher, chauffeur, coach, and on and on. The importance of managing your time has never been more crucial so you don’t end up chronically exhausted and with no time for yourself. Some tips that help are: Prepare as much as you can for morning the night before. Lay out clothes to wear, set the table for breakfast, prepare lunches and have school bags all set to go. Make your bedtime routine consistent. It’s hard to plan for some alone time in the evening if your kids go to bed at different times each night. Keep a folder for each child so you always know where to find all of their information, from medical and school records to their birth certificates. Multitask when possible. Pay bills or purchase gifts online while you’re sitting in a waiting room. Use your phone’s headset so you can do chores while making phone calls. Whenever you cook a meal, always double (or triple!) the recipe and freeze the extras. Find an organizational system that works for you, be it using Post-it notes on a family wall calendar or using an organizing app. You need a way to keep track of all of those doctor visits, soccer games, and parent-teacher conferences. Free apps like Cozi keep everyone’s activities and appointments all in one place and creates and shares shopping lists, chores, and more in real time. Remember when your mom used to say, “A place for everything and everything in its place?” She knew what she was talking about. One of the biggest time-wasters is looking for lost items. Make sure that things are put away in their place so you always know where they are. Neglecting Your Mental Health When your head is constantly consumed with all of the details involved with raising a family, it’s easy to neglect your own mental health. Over time, this can lead to burnout. Never has it been more important that you take care of your overall well-being. Mental health experts note, “The way you eat, drink, love, and cope with stress, depression, anxiety, and sadness all play a big role in the state your mental health is in. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take a step back and ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing for you, and not the easiest thing.” Your daily plans should always include time for yourself to regroup and recharge. Gender Challenges with a Daughter What do you do when you’re out and about and your young daughter needs to use the restroom? If possible, find a family restroom or a unisex one. These are generally always present at shopping malls, airports, and even Starbucks. If that’s not possible, and she’s not ready to use the women’s restroom by herself yet, take her into a stall in the men’s restroom. Explain to her before entering that she must respect the privacy of any men in the restroom by not looking in their direction. Before you know it, puberty will be right around the corner, and your girl will be getting her first period. Remember, the more nervous you come across, the more embarrassed and awkward your daughter will feel, so do your best to act like this is just as natural as can be. Be prepared ahead of time with some Maxi-pads and panty liners on hand. Enlisting the help of an aunt, grandmother or older female friend can also be very beneficial for those talks of a more “intimate” nature as well as shopping for her first bra. Lack of Flexibility at the Workplace Researchers at The Center for WorkLife Law at the UC Hastings College of the Law published a series of studies that explore barriers men face in the workplace as they try to balance work and family demands. They found that: Men are often reluctant to seek out flexible working arrangements because they fear what this might do to their careers. They are subjected to more workplace harassment than their childless counterparts. Men who request family leave are perceived as uncommitted to work and are at increased risk for being demoted and/or receiving less pay. In an article in the Harvard Business Review titled, “What’s a Working Dad to Do?” fathers are encouraged to talk about their family at work and use work flexibility responsibly. The author states this is not a man’s issue; it’s a family issue that affects us all. While you may not be seen as Superman in the world, chances are, you’re seen as him in your home. The bond you have with your child may actually be stronger than it would have been had you not been a single parent. At the end of the day, it’s you who hears, “I love you, Daddy,” as you tuck your child into bed. That alone can make all of the challenges more than

January 29, 2018

Avoiding the Morning Rush

Written By: Nigel Sloane (Headmaster at Pecanwood College: Preparatory) We have all experienced it before. As you are getting into the car to go to school, your six year child reminds you that she needs something for “show and tell” that begins with the letter “Y”. You are already late for school and now spend the next twenty minutes looking for a yo-yo or a toy Yak! The result of this sort of thing is a stressed and worried youngster arriving at school, who will not give of her best at school for the day. Not only that, but you as a parent are probably also stressed and up-tight knowing that you are going to be late for your eight thirty appointment. The secret is to do as much as you can the afternoon/evening before and look at the various aspects of a school day. To do this you need to have a school calendar, fixture list and make sure that you are up to date with school happenings. Reading the school newsletter and keeping up to date with the homework diary will give you a head start. As with all things, planning and preparation are the key. A well placed white board with all the week’s happenings is also a very good idea. Preparation is the key: Time needs to be spent every afternoon or evening listening to reading, helping with whatever homework that there is and generally ensuring that your child is up to date. Make sure that you have read the homework diary and that everything needed is in the bag for the next day. This includes stationary, library books and any items such as a toy for “show and tell”. Do all of this in conjunction with your child so that they can learn about planning and independence. Check the diary or fixture list and see if any sports clothing is required. In summer there may be days when swimming takes place and it is essential that the costume is in the bag. Throw in a towel and warm clothing if needed. If there are regular item such as hats or sunscreen, make sure that these are in the bag. Leave the bag in an easily accessible place near the front door. Once again, involve your child in the process. Get that lunch box and juice ready. Either have it in the fridge if there is something perishable, or actually put it in the school bag. Set out the clothes and shoes for the next day on a chair in the bedroom to ensure a speedy get up and go session in the morning. This will avoid the shock of discovering in the morning that all her socks are still in the washing machine. Other tips to avoid problems include making sure that all clothes, sporting items and all personal possessions are labeled. Hopefully this will cut down on items going missing and causing more stress in your preparation. Plan the breakfast and set it out if possible the night before. If you can encourage your child to get started on their breakfast without supervision, this in itself will save you precious time. With time, hopefully you will be able pass on many of these responsibilities to your child so as to create an independent and responsible youngster who can do things for themselves. As parents it is vital that we teach children how to look after themselves; however they do need to learn these processes. These are not skills that children will just acquire, but rather that they need to be taught.

January 22, 2018

“Help, my child is behaving badly at school!”

The trouble with bringing children into the world is that they do not arrive with user manuals! How much easier would it be if we could troubleshoot in a manual and find the solution that would solve their problems with minimal mess and fuss! As parents, one of our deep-rooted fears is that our children may behave badly whilst at school, upset their teacher, classmates or, worse, the Principal (whom we have learnt to fear from our own childhood misdemeanours)! As a mom and teacher, Cindy Glass Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres can relate. She offers some advice and a new perspective to parents who are navigating the world of not-so-perfect kids. She starts out by acknowledging that negative behaviour at school can affect all who associate with the individual who has behaved badly. Parents, in particular, can feel angry, frustrated and even helpless when their child consistently chooses negative, self-harming behaviours. “It is very easy for a parent to slip into ‘reaction’ mode and punish the child in ways that they may have experienced as a child. It takes great courage, however, to choose to understand these behaviours and find positive, creative solutions,” says Cindy. She adds, “Consider this: Every choice we make, every action we take is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person! Negative behaviours at school have a solid and powerful root – FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear that the teacher will notice that he is struggling to understand the work, fear of being alone and fear of not being noticed and acknowledged. Think about it! Many children would rather get into trouble for negative behaviours than it be discovered that they are not coping with the pressures of school!” So what can you do? Cindy says that children need to understand that all actions have consequences. “Positive choices result in positive consequences and the same applies to negative choices. Being consistent in your expectations and consequences is essential.” “Fair, dependable boundaries are key to establishing a sense of stability within children. It takes courage not to shout, get excessively angry or perhaps even physically harmful toward a child who consistently misbehaves. I STRONGLY recommend that you read the book: ‘Have a new kid by Friday”, by Dr Kevin Leman. I did and it completely changed my approach to dealing with my children!” Cindy exclaims. Most of all she reminds parents that harmful words and actions destroy children and says that you should try teaching your child to value WHO HE IS and is so doing, overcome his fears. How? “Do this by choosing to value who YOU are!” says Cindy. There are no easy solutions, but with determination, patience and tons of love, you will be rewarded with more positive behaviours and it will be worth it! Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day

January 18, 2018

Kangaroo Mother Care

Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC) is a way of caring for premature babies through skin-to-skin contact with their moms. It’s recommended for premature or ill babies because they miss out on critical time in the womb where they would have constantly heard their mother’s soothing heartbeat and been encapsulated in her body’s warmth and safety while getting continuous nourishment and care. Named after kangaroos that carry their babies in their pouches, the method can also be done by fathers, helping them bond with their babies. Huggies® expert, Lynne Bluff, a registered nurse, midwife and childbirth educator sheds some light on this subject. What is Kangaroo Mother Care? Kangaroo mother care (or skin-to-skin care), is a simple, easy method of caring for newborn infants where the baby is placed with just a Huggies® nappy (so mom and baby aren’t continually covered in wee and poo), on its mother’s chest – skin to skin with nothing between the two. Mom can then wrap a shirt around her and her baby, keeping the baby in an upright position between her breasts. Mom uses her own body heat to keep her little one warm. The human body is incredible, a new mom’s body has the ability to heat or cool her chest in response to the baby’s temperature and in so keeping baby at a well-regulated temperature. When it comes to kangaroo care, more is better. The first two hours after birth are the most important, in terms of easing baby into the world. After that, continued skin-to-skin contact can still be beneficial, especially for preemies that have low birth weights. Consider it an alternative to an incubator. It is also recommended that preemies get frequent kangaroo care for the first 20-plus weeks of life. Do it as long as baby enjoys it, when your baby starts fussing and trying to get off your chest, it’s a good sign it’s time to let him or her do their own thing. What are the benefits of kangaroo care? It helps baby adapt: when your baby was in the womb, they didn’t need to regulate their own temperature. By having your baby skin to skin, it regulates and stabilises their temperature. It boosts baby’s mental development: preemies who received kangaroo care had better brain functioning at 15 years old¹ – comparable to that of adolescents born at term – than those who had been placed in incubators. By stabilizing heart rate, oxygenation, and improving sleep, the brain is better able to develop. Also, the hormones that aid mental growth and stability are activated by skin to skin, whereas a baby not in skin to skin contact with their mom is on high alert and this causes added stress to the little one. It promotes healthy weight: skin-to-skin contact dramatically increases newborn weight gain. When babies are warm, they don’t need to use their energy to regulate their body temperature. They use that energy to grow instead. It makes breastfeeding easier: newborns instinctively have a heightened sense of smell, so placing your baby skin-to skin helps them seek out the nipple and begin breastfeeding. In fact, moms who practiced kangaroo care were more likely to breastfeed exclusively and, on average, these moms breastfed three months longer than those who didn’t practice skin-to-skin care². Premature babies initially will need to be fed expressed breast milk via a nasogastric tube as the sucking reflex may not yet be developed. But once the baby is feeding on its own, the breast becomes very accessible for the babies that are skin to skin with their moms. It helps you make milk: when mom and baby are together, hormones that regulate lactation will help you produce more milk. It reduces baby’s stress and pain: just 10 minutes of skin-to-skin contact reduces baby’s’ levels of stress and makes babies feel calm and safe. Research has shown that when preterm infants are held skin to skin, they react less to heel pricks, a minimally invasive way to draw blood, and a common source of pain among preemies. It helps baby sleep: less stress means better sleep. Preemies who were cradled skin-to-skin slept more effectively and woke up less often than those who slept in incubators. It prevents postpartum depression: various studies show that kangaroo care reduces postpartum depression in new moms. Activity in the mother’s adrenal axis is negatively influenced by childbirth, and skin-to-skin contact may reactivate the pathways to minimize the risk of depression. Plus, oxytocin released from skin-to-skin care decreases maternal anxiety and promotes attachment, further reducing the risk. Kangaroo Care has come to play an important role for mom and baby especially in the case of preemie babies. Those moments of bonding and hugging your little one is what matters. Huggies® is with you every step of your nappy journey. Your baby gets its first hug from you, let the second hug be just as good. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day

January 18, 2018

Sleep Saviours From Pure Beginnings

Ask any parent what they would like for their Birthday and they will reply SLEEP. Sleep issues are common which young babies and children. Pure Beginnings can’t help you with rocking your tot to sleep but we can assist with these two great products. Pure Beginnings Soothing Baby Massage and Bath Oil (R119.99) The Pure Beginnings Soothing Baby Massage & Bath Oil contains a blend of moisturising and calming oils to nurture and protect delicate baby skin. There are TONS of benefits of baby massage. Here are some benefits outlined by Debbie Knighton-Fitt, Pure Beginnings pregnancy ambassador and author of Our Greenish Life Blog. It is a fantastic way of affirming your bond with your baby (which is critical if you understand how babies’ brains develop). Encourages digestion and eases baby’s colic, constipation and gas/wind. Improves blood circulation and skin conditions. Encourages sensory stimulation and routine building. Helps build parents and baby’s self-esteem. Improves baby’s health and general well-being. Helps baby sleep for longer and stimulates neurological development. Helps you become more confident in handling your child and better at recognizing their needs. Research has shown that baby massage can be a way in which a mother engages in positive ways with her baby (relieves stress for both mom and bub). It can be a great way for partners, grandparents and siblings to bond with the newest addition to the family. Regularly massaging your baby may help them to sleep and settle better too. Your baby’s muscles relax, and breathing becomes deeper as massage raises levels of the ‘feel-good’ hormone oxytocin in both you and your baby. This helps you both feel calmer and relaxed. (This can also help with breastfeeding). Using only pure natural plant oils, the product is 92% organic and 100% natural. “Our baby range is well known for its purity and safety”, says Bruce Moore-Gordon, owner of the Ecocert certified company. “When launching our massage oil for use on babies, purity and safety were top of the list. We specifically selected oils which are the most suitable for baby and infant skin, and we then sourced the purest organic supply of these oils”, says Bruce. As per the very strict standards of the brand, there are no synthetic chemicals in the product. These can cause inflammation or irritation of the skin. In addition, the baby oil contains no synthetic colourants, parabens or any petrochemically derived ingredients such as mineral oil. The Baby Massage & Bath Oil is not intended for use exclusively as part of baby’s bedtime massage routine. A few pumps can be added into baby’s bath water, which will help to lock in moisture and hydrate the skin. Since it is 100% natural, it won’t clog pores and will allow baby’s skin to breathe

January 18, 2018

Why it’s important to monitor the climate in your baby’s room

With peak summer months peaking at early 30˚C or even early 40˚C in some places across the country, parents should constantly monitor their baby’s temperature to ensure their little ones are comfortable, even in the heat. In fact, t baby monitors aren’t just for sneak peeks – they can support your baby’s development too. It’s important to understand how climate can affect your baby’s health, what the ideal room climate is, and how your baby monitor can help. While a room that’s a little too warm or humid is no big deal for most of us, babies tend to be more sensitive to temperature and humidity. Too low humidity, for example, can cause the eyes and throat to dry out. And when it’s a little too cold or warm, babies aren’t yet able to regulate their body temperature the way an adult can. So what’s the ideal room climate? Think of the ideal room climate as a range rather than a specific temperature or humidity level. The healthiest room temperature for your little one is somewhere between 16-20˚, and humidity levels should ideally be kept between 40 – 60%. How your baby monitor can help If you’re wondering when all of this monitoring is going to happen in between feeding and comforting and the general business of being a parent, fear not. A smart baby monitor has your back: it continuously tracks the temperature and humidity of a room for you. By setting thresholds for temperature and humidity on the smart baby monitor, you receive notifications when the climate readings exceed these thresholds so you’ll always know whether the climate is healthy for your baby -or needs a little tweaking. Depending on the reading, you can then make adjustments to help keep your baby comfortable. Is the humidity a little on the high side? You might like to open a window to let in some fresh air. Worried about your little one overheating? Make sure your little one isn’t overdressed and consider using an air conditioner to bring the room to a more comfortable temperature. You can then also understand how your baby’s room climate affects their sleep as you’ll be able to see at a glance what kind of room temperature helps your baby sleep best. So you see, your baby monitor really isn’t just for sneak peeks. It’s a simple way to help your baby feel comfortable day and night. So make sure you choose the right baby monitor for you and your little one! Philips Mother and Child Division

January 18, 2018

Children get stressed too!

It’s a new school year! It’s exam time! Both of these occurrences during your child’s school life come with their own level of stress – for your child. When your child starts a new school year, or begins exams parents often focus on the stress that they themselves are feeling, rather than taking into account that their child is feeling the pressure as well. “Children don’t deal with stress, or show stress the same way that adults do, and often parents can over-look these clues,” says Carla Yssel, brand manager for Linctagon®. “When children are stressed they are not sure how to deal with it, and this can often manifest itself in a complete change of behaviour – being moody, crying, withdrawing from activities, and even complaining of stomach aches and headaches. Parents need to be on the lookout for these types of behavioural changes when big events in their child’s life occur, such as starting school, or tackling exams.” Although, some stress can be a positive as it can motivate your child to overcome what is worrying them, being over-stressed can cause illnesses. The stress hormone corticosteroid suppresses the immune system, and results in your child getting a cold or even the flu. “We are often consumed with whether our children have the correct stationery, or have prepared enough for their exam, that we forget to actually take care of them,” says Yssel. Yssel provides 5 tips on how to look after your child during stressful times: Be prepared in advance: Make sure that your child has everything they need long before school starts, and gets through all their studying with enough time to revise before an exam. This will give your child the peace-of-mind they require to overcome any stress they may be feeling. Get enough sleep: A good sleep is sure to improve your child’s concentration, and also allow them to feel ready to take on the new day with confidence and a clear mind. Talk to your child: Your child needs to know that you support them, and that you understand what they are going through. Talk to them about what they can expect on their first day of a new school term or year, or that no matter how they do in their exam you will support them through it all. Give them the edge: When your child starts to feel a cold or the flu coming on, give them Linctagon® Effervescent (which can be used from age 12) or Linctagon® Effervescent Junior (can be used from the age of 1) to help get over colds. Linctagon® effervescent and Linctagon® effervescent Junior contain the active ingredient Pelargonium sidoides and with its active support can shorten the duration of the common cold as well as reduce the severity of symptoms with the added Vitamins A and C, anti-inflammatory MSM and immunity enhancer Zinc (Alt Med Review, 2007). This will allow your child the opportunity to get back to what really matters; quicker than usual (Lizogub et al, 2007), and it is suitable for children and adults who are diabetic. Take time out to laugh: Just because your child is writing exams, or getting ready to go back to school it doesn’t mean that all fun needs to end! Laugh with your child; let them forget what they are stressed about, and just have a moment to breathe. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day

January 10, 2018

Characteristics of a good camp counselor

Whether you want to work as a camp counselor, or you are a parent searching for the best holiday camp for your children; it is good to know what makes a good camp counselor so that you know what to look for. The best holiday camp doesn’t necessarily have the most impressive facilities or best equipment. The best sleepover camp has the best counselors. This alone has been found to be the primary deciding factor as to whether kids will want to return to a camp or not. In addition to having a passion for working with children and enjoying outdoor activities, the best counselors often have the following traits: 1. Initiative Taking the initiative to do something before someone asks you to, is one of the most important characteristics of a good camp counselor. For example, if you see something on a path that someone could possibly trip on and hurt themselves, a good camp counselor has the insight and initiative to remove it out of harms way. In supervising children, this characteristic is essential. 2. Selflessness At camp, the children always come first. What would you do if you’re really tired, and a child cannot go to bed because they’re feeling homesick? A good camp counselor will sacrifice their sleep to ensure that the child is made comfortable. Throughout a camp, counselors are expected to make sacrifices for the benefit of the children. 3. Positive Role Model As a camp counselor, it’s important to note that your behavior can be emulated by others, especially by the younger children. Camp counselors need to lead by example. For example, a camp counselor cannot tell the children that technology isn’t allowed at camp, and thereafter, get caught using their mobile phone when they think everyone is asleep. Neither can camp counselors express negative emotions, swear or be ill-mannered, as these present a bad example to the children they supervise. 4. Creativity Good camp counselors, like good baby sitters and teachers need to be able to use their imagination in order prevent boredom. Camp counselors need to think outside of the box and constantly come up with new and exciting activities to keep children entertained. 5. Resilience There are always challenges and unpleasant situations that camp counselors have to deal with – anything from late working nights to gossip, dealing with bullying or upset parents. In order for camp to run smoothly, camp counselors need to be able to deal with difficult situations in an honest and diplomatic way. If you are interested in working as a camp counselor at a holiday camp and you have the above characteristics, then you are an ideal candidate. On the other hand, if you are a parent looking for a good holiday camp, these traits may give you some ideas when you ask a camp what they look for when they hire their staff. You should also ask whether they require a police clearance from all staff, and what training their staff receive beforehand. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day

December 21, 2017

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