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Advice from the experts

Millennial parents understand the need for life insurance

Let’s be honest, millennials continue to and already have changed the world for the better. Those born between roughly around 1981 to 1996 are brilliant, savvy and hard-working people who encourage and challenge and force change for the better at a level that past generations could never do. They are more connected, grew up with easy access to information and care more about social justice. They invest their money into the environment, women’s rights, charity and everything else that they want to help. And they do all of this in contradiction to the spend, spend, spend of older generations that transitioned into higher debt & higher costs of living. But where does life insurance fit in? Because millennials are more connected, care more about world and other social issues and injustices than previous generations, life insurance is the perfect product for this generation. They are perfectly positioned to understand that this is quite literally the most selfless and smart thing they can do. Think of it this way. Your house or your investment portfolio isn’t really your biggest asset. Your brain and what you can do with it to earn a living, is. If anything happens to you, those who depend on you need to be taken care of. When you take out a policy on your life, you’re protecting your family who need your ability to earn a living to look after them after you’re not there. It’s not exactly something we’d chat about casually. But it should be as it is a reality everyone on this planet faces. But here’s the challenging part. Access to information in the age of the internet has become fast, simple and painless. Just look at the ease of access to information (good or bad quality) on Facebook and Instagram. Or how easy it is to get services as provided by Uber for lifts and AirBnB for accommodation. However, the life insurance industry hasn’t kept up with the times at all as is still being perceived as this dinosaur service with no place in this digital world. And because of this, most people don’t really understand life insurance and have HUGE misconceptions about it. But the truth is also that the quality of much of the life insurance content available on the internet is disorganized, fragmented and let’s face it, not sexy at all. Millennial parents feel obligated to speak with a professional to get their basics in place as there are so many nuances in life insurance offerings that it’s really daunting to expect to educate yourself online. And personally, I’d rather spend time researching the latest camping gear or travel specials than trying to understand life insurance. The amount and type of life insurance you need for your unique family set-up isn’t going to present itself to you out of the blue. You either need to put some elbow-grease in it yourself or ask a professional (which in most cases is paid commission and therefore don’t trust to give us the right information for our unique set-up). And that’s another problem. Millennials are used to teaching themselves everything they need to know about stuff they’re going to buy. They don’t want to be cold-called or emailed. NO CALL CENTRES PLEASE! Seriously: try selling a millennial anything second hand. Forget about it. They’ve already spent hours doing their homework on the internet and speaking to friends and family. But because education on life insurance has lagged behind so much, most millennials can’t access or learn about life insurance fast enough. Or the topic is just not interesting enough. And we at Hero Life get it! If millennial parents can’t educate themselves, they know they’re going to have to trust professionals. Unfortunately, full transparency hasn’t always been the norm in the life insurance industry. It’s not unfair to say that some members of this professional industry charged higher than necessary fees on the products they were selling or may have sold products that gave the professional the best commission instead of the product that best suited the need of their client. Inevitably, mistrust built up quickly. Unsurprisingly, it usually takes us more than a quick chat to convince clients that we are not taking advantage of them and that we are truly passionate about helping young parents to help themselves. And that we are there to help them do something amazing for their family and to protect their loved ones’ future. There is still a huge need for young people to have insurance. And especially if they have kids. Your family need to be taken care of if anything were to happen to you. And even cover provided by your employer is not always enough.. The good news is that more millennial parents are becoming more responsible and therefore more life insurance-conscious. One study claims that more young people are beginning to say that life insurance benefits are somewhat or very important (85%). This could be because more millennials are now hitting their 30s and starting families. According to the study, interest in long-term care insurance, in particular, has grown among millennials. It’s not that complicated or scary for millenial parents once they start talking with the right people and when they can get the right educational content in front of them. This is why we are excited about Hero Life. We believe we are tailor-made for millennial parents who want to understand the financial basics they need to put in place. We are passionate about empowering young parents as we offer a free online Will, help you to start saving for your kids’ education and offer life insurance. Visit us at Hero Life and chat with us on Whatsapp by clicking this link. Hero Life is an MMI Group initiative, and underwritten by Guardrisk Life Limited (Reg no 1999/013922/06), an authorised Financial Services Provider (FSP license number 76).

October 24, 2018

Green and Red Lights on the Road of Raising Siblings

Few things in life are equally as delightful as they are demanding. Having – and raising – siblings is one such a hybrid happening. Here are a couple of “traffic lights” (or common daily themes) on this complicated journey of taking care of more than one creature – as well as the politics between them. Should you stop or proceed? At the traffic light of ownership In a home with multiple minors, everything from parents’ attention, space on the couch, toys and food must be shared – often not without a battle. Green Light: Teach sharing Nothing imposes sharing on a poor little child like the arrival of a sibling! This is a good thing. Encourage your brood from a young age to be generous and to think of others’ needs. Let them experience the joy of altruism by highlighting things like, “Doesn’t it make you feel good to see how happy you made your brother?” or, “See how nice it is to play together!” Red Light: Prohibiting individual ownership However, there is a case to be made for personal possession. A child whose toys are always snatched, food always stolen or opportunities always ruined by a sibling will not walk away with a healthy sense for sharing. It may instead produce anxiety and self-defensiveness that could trigger the contrary of sharing: self-absorption and stinginess. Ensure that no child is being bullied in the name of “sharing”. Consider having a “special possession box” for each child, containing a couple of items that he is not required to share unwillingly. At the traffic light of nurturing Loving and disciplining your children (which, by the way, are two sides of the same coin) become less straight-forward when you are surrounded by multiple personalities, developmental stages and demands. Red light: Unfair treatment Each child warrants an equal amount of loving care from you – regardless whether they “deserve” it or not. Favouritism and being inconsequential with rules or consequences among siblings could do great harm. Green light: Differential treatment Being fair, however, does not mean that you should deal with every child in exactly the same way. Each one of your little ones is unique and may have different love needs and different temperaments. It will, therefore, require a special strategy to raise each one of them. Make sure you know how to reach each one individually. At the traffic light of conflict Among plenty of other new titles, you gain the one of “referee” when you become a parent of more than one. Managing quarrels is an inevitable part of the job. Green light: Assist in conflict management Older or stronger children can easily undermine more vulnerable ones. To protect the latter and guide the former to use their power in uplifting ways, you will often need to get involved. Teach them positive ways to handle conflicting interests (e.g. to take turns) and negative emotions, such as anger (e.g. counting to ten). Also, your own example in dealing with conflict (especially with your spouse!) will speak very loudly on your behalf. Red light: Constant interference On the other hand, always intervening in your children’s battles may thwart their development. Allow them room, in the safe and supervised space of your home, to practice the skills you have taught them. “Debriefing” an incident is sometimes more beneficial than stepping in amid the heat. At the traffic light of rivalry Siblings are natural competitors, and the supportive childhood home could be a beautiful training ground for the big bad contest that is adult life. Red light: Comparison Never compare one child’s performance, behaviour or appearance with another’s. Be careful what you discuss “behind their backs” – little ears can hear remarkably well! Encourage and develop each child’s unique talents and strengths. Green light: Allow winning and losing Being better or worse than others are an inevitable part of life and there is little use in protecting a child against this truth. Celebrate each child’s successes – even if they are more accomplished than a sibling. Make them feel like they are part of one another’s victories by cheering one another on in the home. Moreover, if someone loses – help her overcome her negative emotions rather than always awarding a “fake win”. An essential foundation of good sportsmanship is knowing your value as a person apart from your performance – something which almost nobody can impart to you like your parents can. Although it is hard work to be a mother to many, the value that those one-of-a-kind sibling relationships add to your own and your children’s lives make the journey totally worth the effort!

October 23, 2018

Food’s influence on childhood behaviour and learning

Worldwide, allergies are on the rise, and in South Africa a staggering 40% of sufferers are children, according to the Allergy Foundation of South Africa – affecting quality of life and learning potential. The problem, and solution, to common allergy symptoms, says world-renowned nutrition expert Patrick Holford, is diet. “One in three children with behavioural problems have allergic reactions to foods. Other than overt physical reactions, individual food allergies can affect thought processing and cause irritability, agitation, aggressive behaviour, nervousness, anxiety, ADHD, autism, hyperactivity and learning disabilities,” says Holford. A trial study conducted by Dr Joseph Egger, head of the Pediatric University Hospital in Munich, Germany, and his team in 1985, which studied hyperactive children to find out whether diet could contribute to behavioural disorders, found that 79% of the children participating reacted adversely to artificial food colourings and preservatives, but also found that different foods produced the same symptoms in different individuals. “In the 1980s, researchers found plenty of evidence that allergies affect any system in the body and are behind a diverse range of symptoms, yet this research has largely been ignored since,” says Holford. Patrick Holford is a pioneer in new approaches to health and nutrition, specialising in the field of mental health. Having suffered throughout his childhood and adolescence with migraines, sinus infections and ear infections, Holford sought a solution and discovered that his troubles were due to milk and yeast allergies. “The truth is that the majority of people are likely to suffer for years not knowing that they have an allergy – but also not knowing how to treat it,” says Holford. Not to be confused with an intolerance or sensitivity, an allergy is an exaggerated physical reaction to a substance where the immune system is involved. As our personal defence system, the immune system releases chemicals when it comes across a substance it doesn’t like. The chemicals released by the immune system in response to an allergy result in symptoms such as mood-, attention-, memory- and intellectual impairments, as well as behavioural problems, overt physical ailments and delayed reactions that make pinpointing the allergy difficult. Other symptoms of a food allergy include nausea, cramps, flatulence, fatigue, throat trouble, sweating, skin rashes, acne and boils, migraines, apathy and confusion, depression, and paranoia. “The good news is that you can grow out of most food allergies and reduce your child’s allergic potential,” says Holford. According to Holford, the best way to prevent and reduce allergic potential in your child is to stick to the following dietary guidelines: Completely remove wheat and dairy products from their diet for a month or so and see if their symptoms improve. Have an IgG ELISA food allergy test done and see a nutritional therapist. Improve your child’s digestion by including plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables and seeds in their diet. Ensure you keep antibiotics and painkillers to a minimum, as they damage the digestive tract. Include fish in their diet to ensure that they are getting sufficient Omega 3 oil, Zinc and Vitamin A. Avoid foods containing chemical food additives. The most common ones to look out for are aspartame, tartrazine and MSG. Eat whole, natural foods as much as possible. Choose organic food (free from pesticide residues). For further information on food allergies, nutrition and childhood behavioural problems, visit www.holforddirect.co.za.

October 19, 2018

Kaspersky Safe Kids helps track missing teen!

Cyber predators, child trafficking, cyber bullies, children running away – the list of worst nightmare situations parents face is not easy to digest. In fact, it is estimated that a child goes missing every five hours in South Africa. So, what happens if your worst nightmare scenario comes true? And more importantly, what proactive measures have you taken now to ensure you have mitigated as many risks as possible? Northern Gauteng mother, Lida Erasmus, experienced her worst nightmare recently when her teenage daughter went missing, leaving her and her family worried sick especially as they were not able to reach her. “A few weekends ago, our daughter ran away with an unknown young male. Being completely out of her character and as her mobile phone was switched off, as any parent can imagine, I was going out of my mind, thinking the worst and feeling absolutely helpless. I really didn’t know what to do,” said Erasmus. However, being a parent in the digital age, Lida has always taken appropriate security measures when it comes to her family’s mobile devices and had installed the Kaspersky Safe Kids app onto her daughter’s mobile phone when she first received it. Remembering the installed app, Lida would be able to see if and when her daughter’s phone becomes active, and fortunately, the following morning, for a reason unbeknownst to the family, the man who had Lida’s daughter had switched her device back on. As soon as Lida saw that the device was once again active, using the location tracking feature of the app, she was able to find her daughter’s location within 5 minutes. Continued Erasmus; “Parenting in the digital age requires one to think seriously about protecting their children in this new digital world, and no words can express how grateful we are for this app as without it I am not sure what may have happened! The app allowed us to get the police to our daughter’s exact location, free her from this potentially harmful situation and bring her back home safely into our care.” “While certainly we were lucky that her phone was switched back on, this situation points to the very real need for parents to not only install kids safety based apps for the purposes of being able to have control over what their children can do on mobile devices and in the digital world, but also very importantly, to be able to track their children’s whereabouts if ever needed. Surprisingly however, according to the Kaspersky Consumer Survey 2017, only 30.7% of respondents in South Africa have installed parental control software on their children’s devices, and more worryingly, only 15% install software that allows them to know their child’s location when the child is away from home. Riaan Badenhorst, General Manager, Kaspersky Lab Africa commented on the recent events: “Having children myself, I cannot even begin to imagine what Lida went through – the worry and sheer exhaustion from stress. We were so grateful to Lida for sharing her story and feedback with us and certainly the happy ending that ensued. We need to face the reality of our children being exposed to potentially harmful situations, just like this, and furthermore, to pressures they may be feeling as they grow up in a connected world – a world we as parents never had to navigate growing up. This reality is what drives us to develop software solutions like Kaspersky Safe Kids, that specifically focuses on guarding from online threats or risks, helps parents to manage device usage time and lets parents know the location of their child.” Kaspersky Safe Kids is a simple way for parents to provide much-needed online protection for children. It clearly shows you your children’s locations – on a real-time map – as well as lets you as parents/guardians define a ‘safe area’ radius that kids are expected to stay within (such as from home to school or after school activities). If any of your children leave the defined safe area, you’ll automatically receive an alert on your mobile phone. For more information, visit https://www.kaspersky.co.za/safe-kids. For more educational tips for parents, please visit https://kids.kaspersky.com/ For more educational tips aimed at kids, please visit https://kids.kaspersky.com/kids/

October 18, 2018

Surfing with Smiles

We sat down with the Sugar Bay surfing PC (Pro Counselor), Smiles, on his surfing journey and who he thinks would win in a fight between Steven Seagal and Jean Claude van Damme. Real name Grant Anderson, was born in Johannesburg, Gauteng and went to North Cliff primary school before the Anderson tribe moved to sunny Durban in 2009. The surfing bug bit him at just 10 years old and he has never looked back. As a past camper at the Bay, he loved the positive influence the counselors had on him. “I felt like I could be myself, I was exposed to the one thing I love most in the world and I was surrounded by the most amazing people.” Wanting to shine that light on someone else, in 2016, he joined our C.I.T (Counselors in Training) course where he had goals to become the surfing PC and the counselor he had always wanted to be. What’s your favourite part about teaching children how to surf? “Just being able to share my passion with someone, who either have been surfing or wants to learn how to surf. It allows me to be a part of their journey and to see them grow is such a privilege.” What childhood memory do you have of surfing? “Standing on a board I still have today and catching a wave on my own for the very first time.” What type of kid do you think your teachers would say you were at school? “Definitely a leader, I was also a good example and a role model to the younger pupils.” What’s the one thing people don’t know about you? (Shrugs) ” hahahahaha. I honestly don’t know.” Between Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude van Damme, who do you think would win the fight? “Steven Seagal any day!”

October 18, 2018

Medical Aid choices

It’s business as usual for medical aids… While the NHI remains a work in progress in terms of policy and planning, currently nothing changes in terms of medical aid schemes. As the NHI White Paper stipulates: Until the new system is fully implemented and operational, it is ‘business as usual.’ And, even when NHI is implemented, medical aids will still exist. According to Gerhard van Emmenis, Principal Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund, South Africa’s second largest open medical scheme, one of the changes that will be seen once the NHI is a fait accompli, will be a decline in the number of medical schemes. ‘From what I understand, and we are talking of the future, there will be three or four medical aids which will serve as complementary health product providers and fill the gaps left by the NHI.’ Medical Aid ‘launches’ will go ahead in September – when schemes announce amended plans and premium increases for 2019. Costs of medical aid It is also the time when new members sign up and existing members scrutinise and review their existing cover, whether it’s a full medical aid or hospital plan. Medical aid may seem like a grudge purchase until you find yourself faced with unexpected and expensive medical cost. Unfortunately, healthcare inflation continues to outpace general inflation by about 5%. So while consumers are struggling in the economy generally, medical aids have to explore ways to contain costs without compromising the level of health care offered to members. Time to scrutinise the small print The medical aid landscape can be tricky to navigate so it’s important to compare all the available options and schemes to make sure you find a medical aid that works for you and your family’s health and is within your budget. Bonitas offers some advice on what to look out for and consider ahead of making a final decision. If you are already on an existing medical aid Before you decide on the best medical aid option, you need an idea of what your typical health care costs are. Reflect on the following over the past twelve months: How much you spent on day-to-day healthcare expenses Were you or any of your dependants admitted to hospital Did you need to visit a specialist regularly How often did you visit a GP Do any of you have any chronic conditions How much do you spend on dentistry, optometry and over-the-counter medicine Did you exhaust your day-to-day benefits and/or savings in the year How much did you pay in co-payments and/or deductibles Then consider which of the expenses listed above were once-off and won’t come up again soon (such as childbirth) and which are likely to come up again and again (such as flu). Empowering yourself with information Also take the time to read the information sent to you by the scheme and/or your broker to ensure you understand what it being offered so that you can make informed choices. The day-to-day detail for new or existing members Often the cost containment measures medical schemes apply for the day-to-day benefits are broad. So investigate, or bear in mind, the following: Does your medical aid contract with hospitals, doctors and specialists and, if so, are you willing to use them and are they close by? Using contracted or network providers usually means obtaining full or improved cover levels. It also helps ensure you are getting more value for money as doctors on your medical scheme’s network will not charge more than the rate agreed with your medical scheme. Must you be referred to a specialist by your GP? Does your medical aid offer additional GP consultations, which they will pay for, after you have exhausted your day-to-day benefits? Additional benefits Ask what supplementary benefits might be available that can potentially save significant day-to-day expenses. These could include the following: Preventative care benefits, ranging from basic screenings (blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and body mass index measurements) through to mammograms, pap smears, prostate testing. In some cases this extends to maternity programmes, dental check-ups, flu vaccinations and more. These usually require authorisation from the scheme, failing which they are simply met from your day-to-day benefit limits. Ways to get more value for your money Use generic medication wherever possible – ask your doctor and pharmacist about this Try to keep your claims within any specified sub-limits, e.g. optometry Find out if your option has any day-to-day benefits that are paid by the scheme from risk (not from your day-to-day sub-limits or savings) Using network doctors is an invaluable tool to make your medical aid last longer. It means that doctors can’t charge you more than a specific amount. At present, Bonitas has the largest GP network in the country. Age impacts your decision If you have young children, ensure that the medical aid option you select provides sufficient child illness benefits Check the maximum age of child dependents. Some allow students to remain on the scheme until they are 25, while others cut off at 21 or 23 However, if you are slightly older, then check that the option you select covers chronic conditions and provides sufficient in-hospital cover in the event of hospitalisation. Also keep an eye out for programmes that help you to manage chronic conditions such as diabetes and cancer. Ensure the affordability of the medical aid plan selected When comparing the different medical aid options available, consider all the costs involved before you make your final decision, such as: Affordability of the monthly contributions given your monthly income and expenses. As a rule of thumb, your medical aid contributions should be around 10% of your monthly income at an individual or household level As a general rule, the lower the cost of the option the fewer the choices available to the member regarding medical treatment, healthcare providers and medications. However, this can greatly benefit people who have very limited resources available to them for healthcare, or for people who don’t have chronic and existing

October 17, 2018

Curating your career starts in school

Teenagers are accustomed to curating their personal image on social media. They select what to share, who to tag and how to display their interests and activities in a snapshot, or a few hash tags. The next step for Generation Z, those born after 1995, is to start curating their career. Whether preparing to apply for a competitive university programme or starting an entrepreneurial venture, there is great value in starting to think about how to express one’s professional interests from an early age. “Your extra-curricular activities during high school help you stand out from the crowd when applying for universities, especially top-ranked international ones,” says Duncan Parsons, Regional Manager for Crimson Education, a mentoring company that helps build high-schoolers’ candidacy to apply for universities in the States and United Kingdom. “Admissions boards are looking for well-rounded candidates with interesting personal stories – not just top marks.” A report by brand management specialists, QWERTY found that nearly 70% of South Africans’ weekly activities are spent on social media channels. Growing up with the internet, Gen Zs have become accustomed to plugging hours into Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. They’re great at capturing their personal image online; which brands they associate with and which moments they share. Applying some of this time and skill to thinking about their careers can be hugely beneficial for when they finish school. “Demonstrating a variety of skills and interests is a crucial part of an applicant’s success. Universities are increasingly interested in personal stories and motivations,” says Parsons. Crimson Education’s research indicates that about 30% of an application to an American university is based on activities outside of academic curricula; “Colleges look for and fund students who demonstrate that they’ll use the university’s resources to the fullest – they want to see initiative and the potential to become a leader in your field.” Teachers, parents and school counsellors also play an important role in encouraging students to explore exciting career and study opportunities; “With the right guidance and support, students can start a small business or launch a social initiative before they even matriculate. Doing so will help them refine their interests and ultimately select the best fit programme at university, regardless of whether they study locally or abroad,” says Parsons. A great university education, at an institution with leading research groups, lecturers and students from around the world can be a powerful starting point for future change makers. According to Parsons, landing that opportunity is challenging, but not impossible, for driven South African students who apply their finely tuned social media curating skills to their careers. Crimson Education launched in South Africa earlier this year, making the company operational in 17 cities around the world. Parsons and his team regularly host information evenings for parents and learners interested in studying overseas and have recently introduced a career exploration service. For more information, visit www.crimsoneducation.org or email [email protected].

October 15, 2018

Maths Matter: Why it’s worth sticking it out when the going gets tough

In senior high school, the Mathematics syllabus becomes more challenging than ever, and many learners may be tempted to ditch the subject in favour of something less taxing, particularly if they intend to pursue a career that ostensibly doesn’t require Maths. But an expert advises learners and parents to think very carefully before doing so, as a solid grounding in the subject can make a lifelong difference not only to one’s career prospects, but also to those areas of life which seemingly have nothing to do with numbers. “At school we are told regularly that if we do not keep Mathematics as a subject we will not gain access to a Commerce or Science degree of our choice. What we often do not hear is that apart from providing access to limited enrolment degrees, sticking with Maths provides important life skills and a competitive advantage you won’t find anywhere else,” says Aaron Koopman, Head of Programme: Faculty of Commerce at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. Koopman says that even those learners opting for Maths Literacy should continue to take the mathematical steps and processes seriously, as a solid grounding in Maths truly sets one up for life. “Maths teaches you so much – from the memory and recall skills you gained from learning your times tables, to the focus and concentration that mental arithmetic calculations strengthen, through to the most important skills of all related logic, reason and problem-solving,” he says. “Sure, you may never have to solve a quadratic equation again if you pursue a career in communication, but you will be required to understand a problem and the correct sequence of steps required to solve it, and there is no better place to get that discipline and expertise than from Maths.” Koopman says Maths also enables you to understand sequencing and planning – starting at the right point and working methodically to get the right answer. And when it does not work out the way it should, it is one’s mathematical and analytical skills that help you to work through each step and figure out why things did not turn out the way they should have. “Furthermore, Mathematics is believed to encourage creativity. Not only does it teach clear and sensible thought, but it exposes learners to challenging concepts and unresolved problems. Through this experience, learners can apply themselves in resolving these problems, often in a creative manner.” It is also now well understood that nature follows many mathematical rules – and proportion, balance and pattern are all mathematical concepts, notes Koopman. “That balance between creative freedom and leveraging the repetitive sequence of patterns that results in things humans see as beautiful is at the heart of much art that has continued to appeal over the centuries. “Maths also helps you develop persistence as you apply and discard solutions while trying to make sense of a problem. Maths is the bridge between the world we live in – think of the ‘story sums’ we started in our early grades – and the creative and brilliant solutions that lie behind the world’s best inventions.” And very importantly, companies are increasingly looking for graduates with powerful thinking and troubleshooting capacity – just the competencies that are developed and nurtured through mathematics. “A young person who is mathematically proficient and has honed these skills will find that the world of work is a flexible and engaging space where how you learn is recognised as so much more valuable than what you learned. From understanding numbers and statistics – the ‘hard skills’ that Maths gives you – to applying systematic and logical reasoning or solving a human resource problem, a mind that has been exercised by Maths will reach strong conclusions quickly and have the skills to test itself,” Koopman says. “The systematic nature of Mathematics develops clear and coherent thought of students. This results in the ability to understand how and why things work in a certain way. In a business environment that is characterised by constant change, the analysis of one’s environment becomes fundamentally important and through Mathematics, analytical skills and critical thinking is promoted. Mathematics equips learners with the ability to be proactive, detect problems and to develop suitable solutions earlier, which provides a competitive advantage regardless of one’s field.” As we move into the fourth industrial revolution, in which technological innovation is at the forefront, graduates who did not necessarily study Maths but retained an engagement and respect for it will be well positioned to propel their organisations and respective divisions in the right direction, says Koopman. Additionally, anyone leading a team or department regardless of industry will need to be financially literate and able to manage sometimes substantial budgets. “Therefore we encourage learners to persevere and if necessary get additional help to master Maths, even if they feel they may not ‘need’ Maths in future. Regardless of what you are planning to do career-wise, a solid grounding in Maths will empower you for the rest of your life,” Koopman says.

October 12, 2018

Getting your Gen Z child through the stresses of Matric

As parents, we often think that because we once wrote Matric exams ourselves, we are perfectly capable of supporting our child through the biggest trial of their education so far. The trick however, is to be mindful of the vast generational gap that exists between our children and ourselves. Our kids are going to experience the upcoming Matric exams quite differently from the way we did. And if we’re going to be able to help them, we need to understand their generation as well as we possibly can. The ABCs of Gen Z Gen Z refers to those children/teenagers born between 1995 and 2009 and as with all other generations, this cohort has distinct strengths and weaknesses. In broad strokes: the positive traits that Gen Z have on their side include higher IQs than Baby Boomers, greater ambition than Millennials and a well-developed sense of responsibility. Gen Z are also the first generation to be been entirely digitally immersed and are often referred to as ‘Digital Natives’. They simply can’t imagine a world without smartphones, Google and WiFi (a kid with a device permanently in hand is something every Gen Z parent can relate to). Gen Z’ers prefer almost everything that is digitally presented and are highly adept at discovering and learning on their own. A different kind of learning For most parents, learning means sitting diligently at a desk poring over textbooks. However, your Gen Z child will most probably prefer to do a lot of studying for their Matric exams sprawled on the couch and watching videos of their favourite YouTube teachers. Gen Z’ers also have a tendency towards social learning and can readily turn an online chat with friends into a peer-learning classroom. “Parents of the current Matric cohort need a real understanding of how their child learns best,” says Lauren Martin, Counselling Psychologist and Head of Teaching and Learning at SACAP (The South African College of Applied Psychology). “You don’t want to make the mistake of shutting down or getting in the way of what is highly effective learning for them because you have misinterpreted what they might be doing on YouTube or on FaceTime. Gen Z learns differently from other generations, and they need different parental awareness and support. If a parent is helping or monitoring their child’s study plan, they need to support space in the timetable for digital and social learning.” Digital multi-taskers Another generational anomaly (and potential minefield) is Gen Z’s uncanny ability to digitally multi-task. They can watch TV, quickly post on Instagram while having a WhatsApp conversation with five friends, Google something on their laptop and make long-hand notes simultaneously. It’s the kind of multi-tasking that brings on anxiety and despair for other generations, but Gen Z – with their short attention spans and tech-savviness – take it in their cyber stride. The upshot is that parents, who for the most part view multitasking as a negative, try to curb their teen’s many-at-once habits. “During the Matric exams, parents typically want to limit distractions to sharpen the focus on studying,” says Martin. “This is a challenge for Gen Z students who have a different perception of what constitutes a ‘distraction’. It’s important for parents to have a clear view of their child’s real competencies and allow them to plan for their Matric study time in the ways that work best for them. You can’t forget that they will most likely prepare best by doing some things very differently to the way you did them.” The weak spots to watch Gen Z reports higher levels of anxiety and depression. This is a generation shaped by being born into a perilous world of economic recession, rising terrorism and major global environmental threats. They are predisposed to worry and feeling chronically unsafe. Mental health issues amongst Gen Z are prevalent. “Helping to manage stress might well be the greatest thing a parent can do support their child through this Matric year,” says Jogini Packery, Counselling Psychologist and Head of Student Services at SACAP. “This starts with managing their own stress so that they can model dealing well with strong emotions and a tense life circumstance. Maintaining balance and facilitating effective stress relief will go a long way to soothe high anxiety. Often Gen Z does not get out enough. All of their screen time means less time on the beach or going for a run, cycle or a walk with the dogs. Physical activity stimulates the endorphins that help to keep anxiety and depression in check. If a parent is giving input on a study plan they should check out the downtime and see where they can encourage and share in healthy physical activities that deliver important stress relief.” For any matriculant who is interested in the field of psychology, counselling or Human Resource Management, SACAP offers a wide range of qualifications (including Higher Certificate, Diploma, BAppSocSci (Majoring in Psychology and counselling), BAppSocSci (Majoring in Psychology and Human Resource Management) BPsych, BSocSci Honours and BPsych Equivalent) and a one-of-a-kind approach to learning: academic rigour and applied skills. Graduating confident skilled practitioners is key, which is why SACAP combines an academically rigorous curriculum with a strong emphasis on the ability to apply knowledge through the training of relevant skills. Registration for 2019 term one, closes at the end of January 2019. For further information, visit: https://www.sacap.edu.za/matric-campaign/

October 12, 2018

The Discipline Issue…

Even though 6 months have passed since our courts made it illegal to spank your child, there are still parents struggling with this restriction on their ability to discipline their kids. Many still believe that some children need a good spanking in order to get through to them. What alternatives are there for a parent who is at the end of their tether? I want you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine that you’ve done something that your partner strongly disapproves of. I’m sure we can all think of such a thing. Something that annoys them or angers them and yet something we continue to do. Now imagine that your partner smacks you. Not a playful little tap but a full on hiding. What do you do? Do you smack him/her back? Do you cry? Do you hate your partner? Do you pack your bags and leave? You see when our partner smacks us we call it domestic abuse. When we smack our kids we call it discipline. Is this discipline? Is any if what we call discipline best for our children? The word discipline comes from the word disciple, which means to lead. Leading means being a good example of how things are done rather than telling people what to do. Leading does not involve hitting people or banishing them from your presence. Great leaders are generally patient because they can remember how it feels to not know what they do now and how to assist their disciples in going beyond their current state. I think this applies equally to leading our kids. When we punish them the focus is no longer on leading them but on destroying the relationship. Think about yourself in the scenario above. Did you love your partner for teaching you the right way to behave or did you hate them in that moment? It is exactly the same with our kids. Punishment has them focused on what you did wrong and how hurt they are or how they can get back at you. Guidance accepts that we all make mistakes and allows children to learn from theirs. Next time your child ‘misbehaves’, stop. Breathe. Keep at the very forefront of your mind that the idea here is to lead by example, to forgive and to find out what’s really going on. Does your child have some need that is not being met? Is your child’s love tank feeling a bit empty? Is he/she hungry? Tired? Hyped up on sugar? Is it possible that your child doesn’t realize that this thing that they are doing is not ok? Or that they’re in an emotional state that has taken them beyond the capacity to cope? Now some people will fear that if they forgive their kids instead if punishing them then they will run rampant. So again, imagine yourself in the same situation. Imagine there were no laws or consequences to your behaviour. Would you suddenly start murdering and stealing and vandalizing? No. Would some people? Yes. But if you study those people (and, by the way, they’re the ones doing it even with the laws in place) you’ll find that the true cause if their behavior is that they feel unloved or unheard or that they are simply unable to abide by the rules that most of us take for granted. Do we need to have boundaries with our kids? Of course. I definitely would not allow my children to hit me or speak to me unkindly or throw their food across the room. We also need to feel safe in our own homes. The thing is, most of the time they’re not doing things to deliberately upset me, because we have a really good relationship and like most human beings they care to maintain that. So even if they do cross a line there is no way that I will respond in a way that will violate this trust and safety for them. We do have rules in our house, but they are discussed together and agreed upon and understood. And, they are regularly updated to be appropriate for the children’s age and level of understanding. Mostly, though, I do my best to be the best example I can of how to behave in the world and I explain to them why I do things and point out the consequences when I don’t. I’ve found that children don’t need violence to understand the basic concepts of getting on in the world. Just like we don’t!

October 11, 2018

How to stay sane through your child’s early years

By René Yeoman, Assistant Teacher at Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Randpark Ridge We’ve all heard the saying, “Being a Mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world!” Most Moms’ will nod their heads with a little smirk; I smile because being a Mom is hard, as well as rewarding. I have never second guessed myself so much, as I have since becoming a mom. Remembering those first few months when you feel so alone with this tiny person and you are left to figure it out; so frightening and so amazing at the same time! Looking into your child’s eyes and knowing you would do anything for this little person. Then these little angels start to grow, and start walking, and talking and it’s magical and exciting and also completely draining and not what you thought at all. I mean there are days when I think if someone could see what is happening they would run away or not recognise me at all! Let’s be real, no person alive does not lose their temper now and again. These little humans created in our bodies, know exactly what buttons to push, to get the best and worst from us. But how do we as parents stay sane when we love our children so much? It’s a good question which I decided to investigate seriously to help myself, especially in this over stressed world we live in; here are some tips I found which I hope will help you as much as it has helped me! Go to Church! Pray! Did you know you can pray anytime of the day in any situation? Good soul food talking to God! Spend quality time with your children, as a family. Such as doing a “Park run” together on the weekend; take the dogs, have fun! Go out! Movies, dinner, ice skating, the zoo just to name a few… As a family! Spend quality time as partners, have a date! Setting a regular date night together; maybe once a month, without the kids and talking about things that interest you. Let your kids spend lots of valuable time with their Grandparents, it gives you as parents some free time and it’s extremely rewarding for your children. They learn things from their Grandparents that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. Do things from your youth; go out and dance. Be young and carefree. Have coffee with your best friend and talk. Laugh as much as possible especially at yourself! Life is short. Find something you are passionate about and follow your dream. Spend quality time with your current pets, or get a pet. Dance and sing to yourself; be your crazy inner self. Exercise! Not my favourite word, but I found a sneaky cheat. A wonderful person was willing to come to my house and spend her time with me and teach me Pilates. Changed my life! Talk to people you work with, get to know them. I have realised many of my struggles are shared by colleagues and listening to them helps me work through my own frustrations. Talk to your partner, they are still your best friend! Time to reconnect! Go on holiday! Try somewhere new and go on an adventure. No phones at the dinner table! Always talk to your children honestly and trust them, they will surprise you. Give yourself a break and breathe! Know you are a good parent and you are doing the best you can! Remember parenting is not meant to be easy, we are moulding human beings. The fact that we worry shows that we are brilliant parents and we just need to have faith and trust God’s amazing plan.

October 11, 2018

Empower your children to deal with a crisis

Parents have been urged to empower their children to know how to respond to any crisis or act of criminality, in the wake of at least three kidnappings reported in and around Cape Town in recent days. Schools have reportedly also issued related warnings to parents. “As parents and guardians, it is our responsibility to not only educate our children about safety but to also give them the necessary tools to deal with a crisis. While we certainly don’t want our children to live in fear, we do need to have frank conversations about what to do when things go wrong,” explains Mr Jade Hanning, Cape Town South district manager at Fidelity ADT. There are simple actions, he says, which can often keep a child safe. Hanning also reminds parents to constantly reinforce general safety tips for children: They must always walk to or from school with a friend or friends. Stick to streets they know and never take short cuts through quiet areas or empty parking lots and never walk with cell phones and iPads in full view. If they get picked up at school, they should never leave the premises but always wait inside the school grounds for their lift to arrive. They must never get into a stranger’s car; even if the stranger claims that someone they love is hurt and that they have been sent to pick them up. Remind them that you would never send someone they don’t know to fetch them. Consider using a password system. If the person coming to collect you from school cannot repeat the password you and your child agreed on, they should not get into the car but immediately ask for help. If a stranger approaches them, they should not talk to them no matter how friendly they may seem. If someone tries to grab them, they need to fight, kick and shout out that the person is not their mom or dad. If your child does encounter any suspicious activity, encourage them to get a good look and memorise their physical details and clothing, as well as the vehicle they are in. Listen for any names or other details that might help identify them later. Make sure your children memorise their full names, address and phone number. Using a play phone, teach them when and how to dial 10111. Quite simply, the same rules that apply to adults need to be instilled in children, says Hanning. He also urged parents and caregivers to immediately raise the alarm if their children are missing, so that authorities can be deployed to assist.

October 11, 2018

Why breakfast really is the best way to start your day

The importance of breakfast has long been a part of the prevailing wisdom, and the habit of eating breakfast has always been a marker of a healthy lifestyle. Yet, if there’s a meal that is going to be skipped, it’s probably breakfast; and this is a pity because research clearly shows that there are many vital health benefits associated with eating breakfast regularly. Studies show that 1 in 5 South African children skip breakfast. For the first time, a broad coalition of health partners including leading non-profit organisations, health professional associations as well the National and Provincial Departments of Health, have aligned National Nutrition Week (9 – 15 October 2018) with National Obesity Week (15 – 19 October 2018) to promote a shared and very important message that eating breakfast is the best way to start your day. After our longest fast, a healthy breakfast kick-starts the metabolism, lights up mental functioning and boosts physical energy on a day-to-day basis. However, the health benefits of breakfast are not just experienced over the short-term. Studies show that eating a healthy breakfast regularly over the long term helps to reduce risks of heart disease and stroke, high blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes. This correlates with studies that show that children, adolescents and adults who eat healthy breakfasts regularly have better, sustainable weight outcomes and are at a lower risk of becoming overweight and obesity. “It is ironic that one of the common reasons for skipping breakfast is the desire to lose weight when it has the opposite effects,” says Rebone Ntsie, Director: Nutrition at the National Department of Health. “The lack of breakfast leads to a far greater risk of compensating with unhealthy snacks to get through to lunchtime and with bigger lunch portions.” Ntsie points outs that, according to the 2016 South Africa Demographic and Health Survey, 68% of women and 31% of men in South Africa are overweight or obese. Life-threatening, severe obesity affects around 20% of women and 3% of men. Approximately 13.3% of children under 5 years of age are overweight or obese; and according to the 2012 South African Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (SANHANES), 14.2% children aged 6 to 14 years are overweight or obese. CEO of the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa, Professor Pamela Naidoo says: “At least 80% of early deaths caused by heart disease and stroke can be avoided by following a healthy diet, which includes eating a healthy breakfast, in combination with regular physical activity and avoiding the use of tobacco. It is important to understand how the food choices we make contribute to overweight and obesity.” Many South Africans consume large amounts of sugary drinks and eat a lot of convenience foods that are typically high in sugar and fats. There’s also a common preference for highly refined starchy foods over those that are minimally processed and healthier. Taking in too much food energy from nutrient-poor foods leads to weight gain. However, making poor food choices is not the only issue. Professor Naidoo points out that our modern lifestyles easily lead to ‘portion distortion’. “Large portion size is also a major contributor to weight gain whether people eat out or at home,” she says. “With a gradual increase in the amount of food being purchased and served ready cooked, many people can no longer recognise the size of a healthy portion.” Lack of knowledge and poor food choices lead to unhealthy diets, which are a risk factor for non-communicable diseases. Dr Christine Taljaard-Krugell, ADSA (Association for Dietetics in South Africa) President, points out the importance of engaging with a registered dietitian to help make healthy breakfasts a habit for the whole family. “Other reasons so many South Africans skip breakfast include food not being available, it not being a family routine, time pressure in the mornings, not feeling hungry or not liking typical breakfast foods. From food budgeting to menu planning and meal preparation, there are solutions to all these issues. Information and help are available.” What should a healthy breakfast consist of? Breakfast should consist of at least one food group (excluding beverages). However, to stay fuller for longer and improve the variety of nutrients you take in at breakfast, it helps to include foods from three or more food groups. A rule of thumb is to choose a minimally processed starchy food combined with a food from at least one of the following groups: vegetables or fruit dry beans, lentils, split peas, soya fish, chicken, lean meat or eggs milk, maas or yoghurt plant oils, soft margarine, peanut butter In addition, it is important to drink clean safe water instead of a sugary drink. The ‘breakfast is the best way to start the day’ campaign offers some key messages to inspire making a healthy breakfast a long-lasting habit and family routine: Be ‘breakfast ready’ and beat the morning rush – Breakfast doesn’t have to be a big production – with some planning and preparation, it can be quick and easy. Before you go to bed at night, set up your kitchen for breakfast. Soak the oats and slice the fruit so you don’t have to do it in the morning. Cook extra maize meal porridge for the next day’s breakfast when making supper, or boil some eggs the night before. Make it healthy and enjoyable – “It’s easier to make breakfast a daily habit if you enjoy it,” says Carol Browne of the Nutrition Society of South Africa (NSSA). “While our cultures may define what breakfast foods are, there are really no hard and fast rules. It doesn’t matter whether you eat the same things as others for breakfast – it just matters that you have a healthy start to the day. This means having a minimally processed starchy food, as part of the meal, and combining it with food from at least one other food group.” For example, maize meal porridge with maas and an apple; brown bread with pilchards and sliced tomato; Last

October 11, 2018

How to Treat Poison Ivy Rashes

Poison ivy has grown more toxic than ever before, making your family time outdoors a potentially big hazard for your children. Fortunately, kids are no more susceptible to poison ivy than adults, and the symptoms they experience are exactly the same. Here’s some tips on how to keep you and your family safe from the effects of poison ivy. How It Makes Your Child Sick The urushiol found in poison ivy is what causes trouble. This substance is found in every part of the plant and has no tell-tale warning signs of its presence: it’s odourless and lacking colour. The only physical sign is its sticky, sap-like consistency, something that can really only be recognised once contact is made. Even brief contact with urushiol can cause a rash that lasts up to three weeks. But touching poison ivy itself isn’t the only danger. Urushiol can be transferred from animals or even clothing that has come into contact with the oil. The best way to protect your children from poison ivy is to teach them about its appearance. The old line “Leaves of three, leave it be!” is enough for little ones, but if you wish to be vigilant yourself you’d do well to learn more specifics about the plant. How To Tell Your Child Is Afflicted Contact may not be immediately recognised. That’s because it can take one-to-three days for the earliest symptoms to appear. Once they do, you’ll notice a pattern on your child’s skin based on how the urushiol touched them. It’s when blisters, swelling, itchiness, and inflammation occur that your child will need special attention. Even a small amount of the plant’s oil can cause rashes, and your child may not be able to resist the urge to itch. If they do itch, they risk spreading the rash to other areas of their body. These symptoms will pass naturally in a few weeks. However, if the symptoms worsen, impact your child’s ability to breathe, if they have a fever, or if the rash covers over half of their body, seek professional medical treatment as soon as possible, as these symptoms may be caused by heightened sensitivity. If poison ivy is burned and the smoke inhaled, or if the plant is ingested, these symptoms affect the lungs, digestive tract, and other internal organs. Such cases require emergency medical treatment and could prove fatal if left alone or addressed improperly. The More You Know, The Safer You’ll Be As the old saying goes, “Prevention is the best medicine.” If your child loves the outdoors, make sure they wear long-sleeved cotton shirts and pants to limit the amount of exposed skin. If you suspect your child has come into contact with poison ivy, thoroughly wash the affected part of their body with warm, soapy water as soon as possible. You can wash away the urushiol up to fifteen minutes after exposure and eliminate the risk of rash. If a rash does ensue you can start treatment at home by alleviating the itch with cool baths, ice packs, over the counter pain relievers, and calamine lotion. It is absolutely necessary that your child understands not to itch the rash! In severe cases where the pain is too much, a doctor can prescribe steroid creams. Though most cases aren’t serious, exposure to poison ivy can still be painful and traumatic for a child. Through education both you and your children can be more alert to the dangers posed by poison ivy and will be better prepared to handle any incidents resulting from exposure.

October 10, 2018

Is Stress Holding Your Teenager Back?

Teenagers grow up and eventually become the parents of teenagers! The circle of life is such that we forget, often with some relief, what it was like to deal with the stressful challenges of our changing bodies, academic expectations and social interactions when WE were teenagers. Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres explains “The reality is that long-term, unchecked stress can lead to the greater challenges of anxiety, depression and negative behavioural choices in our teenagers.” Cindy looks at this important subject in greater detail… 1. What causes stress in teenagers? Teenagers are complex, over-thinkers by nature. It is not surprising then, that what may seem to us to be a minor challenge, could indeed be a cause of debilitating stress in our teenager! Negative body, and self-image. School pressures, these can be social or academic. Making mistakes (including poor behaviour choices) and the fear of failure. Financial or personal concerns arising from their families. 2. What are the signs of excessive stress in teenagers? They start sleeping too much or too little. They experience panic attacks. They can start acting aggressively or withdrawing from activities that they once enjoyed. Fatigue that affects normal activities. Stressed teenagers tend to eat way too much or way too little. This would be out-of-character. Regular mood swings, crying and angry episodes can indicate excessive stress. 3. How can you help? Non-judgemental communication is key! Aim to listen to understand! Listen to support and help them find positive solutions. Challenges are a part of teenage life and cannot be avoided, just make sure your teen knows that you are the go-to person they need! Encourage your teen to exercise regularly and to make healthy nutrition choices. A healthy, fit body can weather many-a-stressful-situation. Teach emotional intelligence skills: self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, empathy and social skills are essential in developing positive body- and self- image. These skills will also help your teenager navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships! Know that mistakes are inevitable. Speak of mistakes being learning opportunities and help your teen to find positive solutions. Discuss perspectives. It is essential to understand that everyone is coming from his/her perspective and that, so often, upsetting encounters with others is as a result of their experiences and perspectives of life in that moment. Remember, if you have not caused the negative encounter, it is not your stuff! 4. When would you need to seek expert help? Seek immediate professional help if your child is having suicidal thoughts. Seek help if the symptoms of stress are not subsiding or if they are getting worse. Cindy explains “Stress can be a two-edged sword. It can motivate us to positive action, and it can result in potentially serious emotional and physical challenges if it becomes long-term and excessive. Watch for the latter and aim at seeking ways to ease the effects of negative stress in your teenagers!”

October 9, 2018

Toddlers, technology and learning language

Today, technology is part of our everyday lives – a telephone call, a quick SMS or WhatsApp, a glance at our friend’s new Facebook post, updating our Twitter feed, writing up an urgent email, the list goes on. But how does this affect our children? The answer is: We are still learning. Does parental interruption by technology affect my child’s ability to learn language? Clamber Club Expert and Speech and Language Therapist Savannah Senior explains that, “a recent study by Reed, Hirsh-Pasek and Golinkoff (2017) gives us a glimpse into the impact technology is having on our toddlers – particularly on their learning of language.” “This study aimed to discover whether a toddler was still able to learn new words when their communication partner (e.g. parents) was interrupted by technology i.e. A WhatsApp message or a telephone call,” adds Senior. Here is what they found: Toddlers learn words in social situations, when parents or caregivers respond to their toddler verbally in the present moment. When trying to teach your toddler a word or conversing with your toddler, you get into a social rhythm (i.e. verbal and non-verbal back and forth conversation). This is frequently done during play. Usually, a toddler will learn new words within this rhythm of back and forth conversation. When this rhythm is interrupted (in this case by a phone call or a parent being distracted by social media), learning is hindered. Your toddler will not learn new words from this social interaction. Joint interruption, such as a doorbell ringing shifts the attention of both you and your toddler. You still have joint attention. This is different to a phone call in which shared attention is broken. What have we learnt from this research and what do the findings of this paper suggest for the future? Even though more research needs to be done, it is important that we start to think about the impact that technology has on our little ones – the way that they learn and how it changes our interactions with them. Here are Savannahs top 5 tips from this research: Find a time in your busy day to give your toddler undivided attention. This means turning off your phone or tablet, switching off the TV and focusing all your attention on him, with no interruptions. This may even be for 10 minutes a day. Put your phones and tablets away when playing with your children, as frequently as possible. Talk to your toddler. This is how he will learn new words. Mealtimes are frequently a social gathering for families. Put technology away during mealtimes. Focus on eating and enjoying the meal together. Make time for serve and return interactions when playing with your toddler, remembering that it’s not what we do to our children but how we INTERACT with them while doing it, that makes all the difference. These back and forth interactions are the bricks that build sturdy brain architecture and solid language skills.

October 8, 2018

It’s time to get serious about our heritage

South Africa currently has ten World Heritage Sites, of which the Barberton Makhonjwa Mountains and the Khomani Cultural Landscape are the newest additions to the list, as appointed by UNESCO (United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization). With nearly one World Heritage Site per province, South Africa is truly unique! While our country boasts with these beautiful World Heritage Sites, it is also home to many other natural and cultural attractions that appeal to domestic and international tourists alike. Examples include Boulders Beach in the Western Cape, with its famous colony of African penguins, and the Afrikaanse Taalmonument (Afrikaans Language Monument) in Paarl, to name but a few. The question is, should we protect these World Heritage Sites and attractions as our heritage? The answer is yes! Not simply for our children’s children, but also to showcase our incredible heritage to our countrymen and the rest of the world. These sites and attractions have so much to offer, especially in terms of promoting tourism. When we take our heritage seriously by preserving and protecting our World Heritage Sites and other attractions, we practise sustainable and responsible tourism. This rests on three pillars: the environment, the economy and the social pillar. When looking at the environmental pillar, the first thing that comes to mind is our wildlife. If, as citizens of our country, we don’t set a good example, we cannot expect tourists to respect our natural environment. Rhino poachers and other evildoers who want to destroy our wildlife must be stopped, and we must always report suspicious behaviour. In addition, while garbage cans are available at all sites to combat littering, it is our responsibility to use these bins effectively and purposefully. The next pillar is the economy. Once we fully understand and realise the value of our heritage, South Africa’s World Heritage Sites and other attractions will become and remain economically important. As domestic and international tourists visit these sites and attractions, it will ensure that the tourism sector makes a positive contribution to the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of our country; this, in turn, will cause a multiplier effect that will benefit all the people of South Africa. The more people visit our World Heritage Sites and other attractions, the more far-reaching the benefits will be. The social pillar promotes national pride. If we stand together as a nation, we can work together to not only preserve and protect our World Heritage Sites and other attractions, but also to attract tourists to the rainbow nation and to foster greater cultural understanding. Conservation and community projects linked to World Heritage Sites and other attractions can also be used to support and fund local communities and, in this way, make a positive contribution. We need to start taking our heritage seriously by creating awareness of sustainable and responsible tourism. This, however, is a continuous process; one that will ensure the sustained existence of our World Heritage Sites and other attractions. May we keep this – our natural and cultural legacy – in mind when we visit any of our country’s beautiful World Heritage Sites or attractions. Written by Surina Jordaan – Education Specialist: Services Subjects and Social Sciences at Impaq

October 5, 2018

The things our kids really need don’t need to cost a lot

As young parents, we often worry about our kids’ early development. We want to give them the best opportunities possible to assist with development, but we can end up spending a lot of money on unnecessary things trying to achieve this. According to a study done by UNICEF SA in 2007: “A family provides a young child with the most important environment in which to grow and flourish. The interactions that infants and young children have with the people around them allow them to absorb the culture and values of their society and to make sense of the world.” Hero Life asked Mare Smit, a qualified occupational therapist, what is really important for early childhood development and to give us some tips on saving money while we are at it. She says that there are 3 things that are really important to our kids at a young age and these are: that parents take care of their physical needs, that our kids play enough, and that they receive as much love as possible. It is really that simple. And none of these 3 things should cost an arm and a leg. “Our biggest challenge is to not fall into the trap of spending money on things that matter more to us, as parents, than to the child themselves. “ Let’s quickly cover some of Mare’s money savings tips on each of these 3 important areas for our kids’ early childhood development. How to save on a child’s PHYSICAL needs Our children’s physical needs are quite basic as they need healthy food, fresh air, clean water and a safe environment. Have you heard about the “sharing economy”? It basically means that we don’t need to buy as much as we do and that it is more economical to share things between like-minded parties. This is absolutely true for saving money when our kids are young as you are guaranteed to come into contact with other parents having the same requirements. Therefore, some basic tips for young parents are: Download a free app for monitoring your baby while asleep; Connect with a group of like-minded friends and fellow parents and share clothes the first 2 years of your babies’ life; But don’t stop there, also share everything from recipes to camper cots, strollers, toys, etc., with a group of friends with similar hygienic practices. How to save on a child’s PLAY needs Children need to play most of their day! This is how they grow and learn intellectually, physically and emotionally. It’s the most important part of a child’s day and it needs to be free of obstructions, but also interesting, explorative and FUN. And the more you can join your child, the better! There are numerous websites on internet where you can google the age appropriate tasks a child should learn on a gross and fine motor level. BabyCenter and Jumpleapfly are some of Mare’s favourite websites and books for stimulation activities as they suggest easy accessible toys or objects that are usually in or around any home. Why spend money on things that can easily be replaced by objects already in your house but that you didn’t think would help with development? Some more tips and examples to help stretch your money: Use things that you have at home – they do not need a toy store at home; Let them play in the garden and outside as much as possible; Join your local library instead of buying books; Join a local park for a cheaper yearly fair and visit as often as you can, each time focusing on something different; Only take out toys your child is interested in, store the others and rotate toys every month so that they feel like new toys every time; Join or organize your own toy library with other like-minded families – this ensures a nice rotation of toys between families so that your kids don’t get bored; Go for regular walks or runs around the neighborhood block. LOVE is the ultimate Free Gift Children need as much love as possible. They need unconditional love, forgiving love, sharing love, caring love, physical love and patience love! Many studies have shown that children in overcrowded areas become slow to thrive – not due to a lack of nourishment, but rather due to a lack of physical touch. Physical touch that is caring and kind can make a world of a difference for any child. Give hugs and hold them as often as you like! It’s free and doesn’t cost you a thing!! Some critical “Love actions” that your child desperately needs and that won’t even touch your budget: Listen attentively to your toddler; Read books together from an early age (start before they are 1 year old); Listen and sing songs together; Laugh together; Play rough and tumble; Hug your child as much a possible. Hopefully this helps all the Hero parents out there with a few money saving tips that still ensure effective early childhood development. Just remember, in most cases it’s the experience rather than the object that makes a difference. Want to know more about saving? Just ask Hero Life to point you in the right direction – their advice is free. Hero Life is a company that offers a free online Will, helps you to start saving for your kids’ education, and offers life insurance, designed specifically for young parents. Hero Life is an MMI Group initiative, and underwritten by Guardrisk Life Limited (Reg no 1999/013922/06), an authorised Financial Services Provider (FSP license number 76). Visit herolife.co.za for more info. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herolifeZA/

October 5, 2018

How to help your child overcome peer pressure

Merriam-Webster defines peer pressure as: “A feeling that one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group in order to be liked or respected by them.” Children of all ages experience peer pressure. Most people think peer pressure is a bad thing (stealing, smoking, taking drugs, drinking alcohol); however, some peer pressure can be good. Your child wants to be liked and to do the right thing. As a parent, you can help your child deal with peer pressure and make good choices at every age and stage. Welcome positive peer pressure. If another child is pushing your child toward something better, that is a good thing. It might help your child socially or academically. For example, it might encourage your child to participate in the school talent show or rugby trials. Understand negative peer pressure. Your child wants to fit in, doesn’t want to feel rejected or teased, and isn’t sure how to get out of a bad situation. Start early by preparing your young child for peer pressure. When they are in preschool, tell them not to copy silly or bad behaviour. For example, if a friend or classmate pressures them to take something that doesn’t belong to them, teach them how to say “no” and walk away. As your child goes through preparatory school, talk with them about smoking, drugs, and alcohol. Peers pressure kids to sneak out of the house, bunk school, drive without a license (or ride with an underage driver), steal, vandalise property, and cheat, too. Give your child ideas of what to say when pressured. Practice this “role playing” often. This helps your child get out of a bad situation. Tell your child they can blame you if they need to get out of a bad situation. Give your child a special code word to say or text you if they can’t get out of a situation on their own. This will signal that they need help. Share your family values. It’s important to let your child know how you feel about stealing, cheating, bullying, and more. When a child knows something is wrong, they will think twice before agreeing to do it. Encourage your child to feel good about him or herself. Celebrate their achievements and praise them when they make good choices. Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to resist negative peer pressure. The same is true with friendships. Children who have friends whose families share your values are more likely to resist negative peer pressure. Monitor your child’s friendships (in-person and online). There may be a day when your child makes a bad choice because peer pressure. When this happens, remain calm. It’s a good opportunity to teach your child about choices and having the courage to say no. Negative peer pressure can have a downward spiral effect. This means that pressure to commit small wrongs can lead to more serious bad behaviour. For example, if your child is easily pressured to take things that don’t belong to him, he or she might one day agree to experiment with shoplifting. Don’t forget that the media and internet are forms of peer pressure. What your children hear and see on TV and online can influence your child’s choices. Monitor these influences by: Limiting your child’s exposure to TV and the internet. Consider your child’s age and other responsibilities (homework, job, family time) to decide on how much time he or she should be allowed to watch TV or explore the internet. Monitoring what your child watches or views on the internet. You can see your child’s internet search history on a computer. You also can check your child’s phone to see what apps he or she has downloaded. Require your child to provide his or her passwords in return for the privilege of accessing TV and digital media. Learning more about the music your child listens to. Some song lyrics can send powerful, negative messages. Watching TV or searching the internet together. This gives you an opportunity reinforce your family values. It also gives you an opportunity to sort out fact from fiction on certain things (drugs, alcohol, pregnancy, etc.). Securing your home’s TV and online devices. Most cable, internet, and cell phone providers have parent control settings that restrict inappropriate material from children. Monitoring your child’s electronic use at their friend’s homes or when friends bring electronic devices to your home (laptops, tablets, phones). Tell your child what is and what is not allowed. written by Ria van Niekerk – Deputy Principal Trinityhouse Preparatory Randpark Ridge

October 3, 2018

Public university or private: Choose the right institution for you

There have been many developments in the higher education sector in past decades, notably a rise in the number of institutions from which prospective students can choose when considering their further education. Along with the increase in public universities, there has also been substantial growth in the private higher education sector. Faced with this increase in choice, it is natural for young people to be anxious about their decision – should I go to a public university, or should I opt for a private higher education institution? A massive part of this concern, is whether the qualification you receive after 3 or 4 years of study, will be respected in the world of work, whether it will position you well to land your first job, and whether it will help you build the career of your dreams. “It is so important that future students don’t base their decision on their gut feel or vague perceptions,” says Dr Felicity Coughlan, Director of The Independent Institute of Education and Group Academic Director at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. She says there is a concrete checklist that prospective students should measure their chosen institution against and, if all the boxes are checked, they can rest assured that their choice of institution can help them achieve their dreams. “Ultimately, you have to make an informed choice based on your personal vision and circumstances, and you should not blindly follow a direction just because everyone else is going that route, or because you think that’s the way to go,” Coughlan says. She advises prospective students, and their parents or guardians, to look at the following when considering or reviewing higher education institutions: ACCREDITATION Most importantly, your institution must be registered and accredited. South Africa has a single quality assurance system and one National Qualifications Framework, which means that any institution offering a registered and accredited qualification – whether public university or private – is offering a qualification of equal standing. So if your institution is listed on the Department of Higher Education and Training’s list* of registered higher education institutions and colleges, you don’t need to be concerned about whether the institution is called a university, a college, or a private higher education institution. This is because the only difference between public (University) institutions and private higher education institutions – which purely as a result of regulations may not refer to themselves as private universities – is that the public institutions get some subsidy from the government while the private institutions don’t. EMPLOYER RECOGNITION The world of work has changed dramatically over the past decade, and the economic climate is tough. That means prospective students should make sure that their qualification and their choice of institution is well respected by employers and in the market. Generic 3-year degrees with no practical experience do not provide a strong competitive advantage after graduation. This means that young people should interrogate their institution about the following: curriculum, industry relationships, lecturer activity in the industry, and practical experience that form part of the studies. The strongest qualifications today are the ones that are closely linked to specific careers and fields, and whose curricula are based on the competencies required to be work-ready from day one. One way of determining industry recognition of your institution, is to ask about its career fairs, when the country’s top companies visit campuses to meet students. If employers are lining up to meet the leaders of tomorrow at your institution, you can be assured that you are signing up for a quality education that is respected in the workplace. INTERNATIONAL RECOGNITION Many students want to know that their qualifications will be internationally recognised. If this is important for you, you should ask your institution about international links and accreditation. Does your institution have links with international exchange programmes, or is it accredited by an independent international accreditation council? All good institutions should be able to provide satisfactory answers to your questions about your potential international opportunities. CLASS SIZES & STUDENT SUPPORT Class sizes and student support are crucial for ensuring student success and successful transition into the world of work. Individual attention, and being more than a number, can dramatically influence student outcomes. But an institution’s involvement should go further than quality lectures and success at exam time. Good institutions will have career centres which assist students and alumni beyond academics. “The higher education landscape looks entirely different today from the way things were even a decade ago. These days, prospective students have a lot more choice in terms of institution and qualification,” says Coughlan. “To really make the right choice in terms of the best grounding for your career dreams, you have to look beyond historical perceptions and gut feelings about which way is ‘the best’ way, and make sure your choice is based on the facts about what makes one institution and qualification stand out from the next one,” she says. *www.dhet.gov.za/SitePages/DocRegisters.aspx

October 1, 2018

Why choose lifestyle documentary photography?

Why would you want to capture the normal everyday moments of your life? Life is fast paced and before you know it the years have passed, your children have grown and you look back in a daze on days gone by. You remember parts of it, and you have some photos you took with your phone from time to time. As a photographer the documentary images I take of our family life bring a lot of healing and perspective. It makes me see how fortunate and blessed we are and how beautiful this adventure of life is. It makes life slow down. Beauty lies in the every day moments we take for granted. Capturing these moments will ensure you always have something to treasure. Images are powerful at telling a story and lifestyle documentary photography does this in a comfortable and unique way. The things you remember from years gone by are the ordinary moments you shared with the people you love. Reading a bedtime story to your kids, going for a stroll around the block, making dinner together, sleeping in and snuggling on a weekend morning, laying flat on your tummy to play blocks with your toddler, watching a movie with the family, sharing a cup of tea with your partner… How wonderful would it be to have photos of these moments? Real moments are the moments that make life beautiful. When you become a parent you want to make life slow down. You want to remember all the little details. Not only of your baby or children, but also of the things you do together as a family. Having photos make it bearable to witness time passing by… A lifestyle documentary session is enjoyable for everyone. In a typical lifestyle session you do the things you love doing as a family. If you like cooking together, then I capture the moments you’re sharing while doing that. If you read stories as a family, I capture you enjoying a book together. I capture moments shared while you’re playing with you kids, cradling your newborn baby, going for a stroll around the block… Because you’re busy doing something you normally do, the kids don’t really mind someone taking photos and even the dads relax and enjoy these shoots. There’s no posing and the moment, as it unfolds, is captured. You are captured in a setting that you’re comfortable with and it makes for really great and timeless photos. The sessions are fun, playful, relaxed and filled with laughter. Why would you rather choose lifestyle documentary photography? Your life right now is beautiful, it has real moments. You prefer real expressions and laughter. Because you want to capture the love and interaction between each other in the family just the way it is. If this speaks to your heart, let us capture your beautiful story together. Everyone has a story. I’m in love with the real moments of life. Even the ordinary moments Let me tell your story. I have package options with printed photos and photo books so you can display beautiful real life images in your home. For more information please do visit ilzelouw.co.za

September 28, 2018

MySchool sponsors children’s diabetes camp

Life is never the same again for children and teens diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. Diabetes is one of the most prevalent diseases in South Africa. Type 1 diabetes which occurs mainly in children and young people, is an autoimmune disease, where the insulin producing cells in the pancreas are destroyed by the bodies own immune system. It s chronic, life-threatening and exceptionally demanding in its daily treatment regime. With a major organ, the insulin-producing pancreas, in fail-mode, the patient has to manually replace its functions 24/7. To function normally; to avoid complications and death, a child with Type 1 diabetes is subjected every single day to a minimum of 3 to 5 insulin injections, 6 finger-pricking blood glucose tests and a rigidly-controlled diet. It is a disease management programme that severely taxes the self-discipline and emotional resilience of most adults. There is little wonder that it is often overwhelming for a child who is still developing on all fronts, and often very taxing on the entire family. Worldwide, one of the most effective strategies for helping children and teens diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes is camps that bring them together for education, care and solidarity. This is why the MySchool fundraising programme decided to sponsor the latest Children’s Diabetes Camp organised by non-profit organisation, Diabetes SA in association with the Diabetic Clinics of the Tygerberg, Groote Schuur and Red Cross Children’s hospitals. Thanks to MySchool supporters, 50 children and 20 nurses and leaders enjoyed an action-packed three days that combined vital education with fun and comradeship. “Children with diabetes have very challenging lives,” says Margot Mc Cumisky, the National Manager of Diabetes SA. “They most often develop a negative attitude towards living with this chronic disease which they experience as isolating them from their peers and being burdensome on their families. That’s why it is really important for camps to bring them together. They realise that they are not alone in their suffering and feel supported; they learn how to self-manage the treatment and gain confidence; they start to feel that they are empowered to manage their self-care, deal with the socio-emotional challenges and lead a healthy life despite the enormity of their diagnosis.” While Children’s Diabetes Camps are open to those from all walks of life, many of the young sufferers in the Western Cape come from under-privileged communities and could not afford to attend even though camp fees are kept as low as possible. In the absence of government funding, Diabetes SA is reliant on donors to hold Children’s Diabetes Camps on an ongoing basis. Research has shown that the camps do help limit the burden of disease on the country. Hospital admissions are reduced after camps; and parents and children’s doctor’s report that they find that their children are more motivated to play their part in managing the disease. “For a child diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, the world they have always known can suddenly become hostile,” says Helene Brand , MySchool’s Social Responsibility Manager. “They cannot eat what every other child is eating. They have to know so much more than any other child does about the role of the pancreas, the hormone insulin and nutrition. At school, they have to remove themselves from situations to test and to inject. They could find themselves judged and alone. At home, they are commonly the focus of parental anxiety and stress; and family drama that is centred on their condition. These camps give them a much-needed break, as well as the skills and insights they need to manage their disease optimally. I am really proud of MySchool shoppers because they made this important sponsorship possible.” You can sign up for your free MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet card online or simply by downloading the free mobile app and make Diabetes South Africa one of your beneficiaries. Every time you swipe at the till point of a participating retailer, they make a contribution on your behalf, at no cost to you at all. Go to www.myschool.co.za or your app store to sign up for your free MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet card.

September 27, 2018

The juggle is real : 4 powerful tips to help you get the work/life balance you deserve

Working moms have a lot of balls in the air. We juggle work and home at such a frenzied pace that we feel we’re not able to do either very well. Balance is a dream that seems far out of reach. “We crave three minutes to ourselves. But we feel too guilty to take them” comments Janice Windt, a time management coach who specialises in taking working mothers from stress, anxiety, and guilt to feeling present and in control. “I want moms to be able to thrive both at work and at home” she continues. Windt is a speaker at the inaugural The Baby Show and #Meetup sponsored by Pampers, taking place at Kyalami International Convention Centre in September. Nicole Muller, mom of two and Show Director for The Baby Show said “We’ve invited Letshego Zulu to get involved with the show. She’s an outstanding example of how to expertly juggle pursuing business whilst caring for a child as a single parent. We’re proud to welcome her as the host to our main stage”. Here, Windt alongside Zulu, share their tips and insight in to how to successfully juggle being a working Mom Identify your 20% and create a mind-map for it In the late 1800s, Vilfredo Pareto observed that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population. While gardening, he also observed that 20% of the pods he had planted yielded 80% of the peas. Thus the Pareto Principle, or the 80/20 rule, was born. As interesting as Pareto’s gardening findings are, what value do they add to the life of an incredibly busy working mother? “It’s simple” comments Windt. “If you can focus on your priority tasks, you will find that 20% of what you need to do will yield 80% of the benefits you seek. You need to ask yourself what is your 20%?” she asks. “I then suggest you ditch your to-do-list for a mind map” comments Windt. “I find to-do lists are long and often don’t get completed”. Windt points out that a mind maps is set out in exactly the same way as your brain thinks: a central topic with main topics added around it. “New information is then added under the appropriate topic. Eventually you have a complete picture of the key information about the main subject: the demands on your time” commets Windt. Figure out when you’re most productive, and create a daily ritual to get the hard stuff done with pleasure When is your most creative time of the day? What changes do you need to make in order to manage your energy better and make the most of that effective time? “I’m a night owl” sayd Windt. “I’m programmed to peak in my focus and creativity once the rest of the house is in bed” she comments. “I can focus when our home is quiet and I know I will have a lovely long stretch of uninterrupted time to focus on my high priority tasks, so I schedule this time in” she advises. “I then suggest you identify a daily ritual to do during this time, as this will help you get your priorities get done almost effortlessly”. Windt once interviewed the Regional Head of Business and International Communications for the African region of an international bank. She worked full time with international travel and had two sons aged two and four at the time. In order to get her focused work time in, she would wake up at 4am and light candles around her computer (particularly in winter) in order to feel that the time she had was closer to self-care, than self-preservation. Master the 5 second rule It’s easy to get up once, go to the gym, come home aching, and hit the snooze button for the next three mornings thereafter. That’s easy. That’s normal. But it doesn’t help you get the work-life balance you so desperately crave. “There is a solution” advises Windt. “The Mel Robbins ‘five second rule’. You simply count backwards from five every time you choose to do something you don’t instinctively want to do, but you know you should” she continues. “Before you hit one, you need to be physically up and engaging in your priority activity. This way you will override your croc (primitive) brain before it stops you.” Try it. It works. Visit melrobbins.com for more info Make time to play “There are many ways to set aside time for play. You may choose to have a family pyjama day every other week. Play board games, braai, roast marshmallows and build lego” advises Windt. “Leave the house exactly as it is and warn visitors to stay away!” she continues. “It’s beautiful just to have that unstructured time together” To hear Janice live, visit babyshow.co.za to book you tickets to the #MeetUp on Saturday 29 September. For more information on Janice, visit janicewindt.com

September 24, 2018

How to open a bank account for your child

Your children might already be familiar with piggy banks as a savings tool but, as they grow older and their money starts accumulating, you might want to consider opening a bank account for them. Cash they receive from relatives, by doing the neighbours’ chores, as a reward for a good report card, for their birthdays, and as a weekly allowance can quickly add up, but can also quickly evaporate as children are often tempted to spend it on toys and sweets or whatever they see in a targeted ad on TV. South Africa’s major banks each have a solution tailored for juvenile savings plans. The application process is pretty straightforward and much the same as opening a regular account. You only need your ID document, and your child’s birth certificate and proof of residence, and must sign on behalf of your child. Most juvenile accounts are set up with a parent as the custodian, however, the parent doesn’t need to bank at the same financial institution. As with most other accounts, your child’s savings at the bank will be subjected to certain charges as outlined in this Banking Fees Guide for 2018. There are a range of free transactions; most fees come from using the services of another bank. In collaboration with Hippo.co.za, we provide a brief overview of the bank accounts specifically designed for youngsters. Standard Bank (sum)1 account No monthly fees; no income required Unlimited free swipes at all till points Eight free electronic debit transactions a month Two free withdrawals and deposits a month at their ATMs Free balance enquiries on your phone Kidz Banking app A full breakdown of their fees can be found here. Absa MegaU account No monthly fee Free cash withdrawals at Absa ATMs First R500 cash deposited at an Absa ATM or Cash Acceptor is free Free debit card purchases Free prepaid top-ups through Absa channels Free Absa ATM balance enquiries Free internal debit orders and stop orders Free account activity notification via SMS or email A full breakdown of their fees can be found here. FNBy account No minimum balance required Unlimited card swipes Unlimited electronic payments and transfers Access to monthly product discounts from FNB partners Access to a library of educational videos on their app A full breakdown of their fees can be found here. Nedbank 4me account No monthly fees, but you need to maintain a minimum balance of R20 Free swipes and withdrawals at till points Free balance enquiries online and at ATMS Higher interest rates than normal accounts A full breakdown of their fees can be found here. Not only will opening a bank account for your child keep their money safe and teach them from a young age how banks work; it will also prepare them for a financially fit future, as they’ll gain some understanding of the importance of responsible spending habits and managing their financial obligations (which could include paying a Personal Loan and credit card on time in the future).

September 24, 2018

Why We Should Replace Time-Outs With Time-Ins

I realize that parents are frustrated with a lack of options with regards to disciplining their children. First we’re told no spanking, then no naughty corners, what next? What I’m hoping to do here is to help you to see that us parent-educators are not trying to limit your options but rather to give you alternatives that will actually work. My plan is to explain to you why time-outs don’t work, and what exactly you can do instead. This is not a short-term solution. Yes, spanking and time-outs can work in the short term to quiet a screaming child or stop some misbehaviour in its tracks. But they don’t work in the long run and end up causing you way more problems further down the line when your children are not small enough to pick up and remove from the scene if necessary! Time-outs don’t work because they don’t take into account the real reasons behind cooperation. Children cooperate because they care. They have amazing adults in their lives and they want to be like them and get their approval and most of all make sure that they retain their love. Time-outs don’t just reject the behavior; they also reject the child. This serves to break down the very relationships that would have fostered cooperation in the long run. When a child is in a time-out, I absolutely guarantee you that they are not thinking about the wrongness of their behavior, what they can do to make amends, or how they can improve in the future. What they are thinking about is either how much they hate you and how they can get revenge, or how much they hate themselves and what a terrible, unworthy human being they are. I don’t think any of us want children who hate themselves or us. This is not the route to long-term cooperation. Misbehaviour is always a form of communication. And most often this communication is around themes such as not feeling loved, heard or understood. Even our most hardened criminals are people who have or do feel blamed, shamed, abused, neglected, unloved and lacking in confidence. People who behave well are those who feel confident, secure, loved, at ease, and who know how to meet heir needs in positive ways. That is what we’re trying to nurture in our kids. What we need to start doing instead of time-outs, are time-ins. Time-ins are a special time of connecting with our children that happen when they are upset and acting out, but also happen in the in between times. We can have a special chair or space in our homes where we go to cuddle, connect, chat, and breathe together. The idea is to connect deeply and nurture your child. It is to make sure that your child feels safe and heard and knows that they are loved regardless of their behaviour in the moment. In time-ins, you will sit with your child, holding them close (if they’re open to that) and just being calm and at ease yourself. If your child is having a tantrum, you need to be the calm in the storm… not part of the storm. So breathe. You don’t need to force your child to focus on their breathing – just do it yourself. Make sure you are calm and centred and ok. And then allow whatever emotion your child is having to come and then to pass. Be patient. You are not trying to calm the child down. You are simply allowing the storm of emotion to have its time and then go. This quiet presence communicates to your child that you are not afraid of them or their emotions, that you are calm and present even when things get rough, that all emotions are acceptable, that your child is loved no matter what. Then, eventually, when your child has calmed down again, you can chat about what happened and how he/she felt and you can brainstorm what you can do in future if behaviour needs to be limited. You can also make your child aware of anything he/she can do to make amends if someone was hurt or something was broken. Children who understand what to do to fix a situation don’t need to carry around the guilt of wrongdoing. During this time-in, you can also reflect on what might have brought your child to this point and if there is anything you can do to prevent this in future. Can you pre-empt problems like hunger, boredom, stress or tiredness that may have contributed to the meltdown? Can you be more present with them so that you can contain any physical acting out before it begins? The focus, always, is on how to build your relationship. Children’s behaviour is never a personal attack on you, or an attempt to make your life more difficult. They are just communicating in the best way that they know how with their limited knowledge of the world, language, societal expectations, and an undeveloped pre-frontal cortex. What “bad” behavior needs is more love not less. What tantrums need is more calm, not less. What aggression needs is more closeness, not less. What cheekiness needs is more adult modeling of great communication, not less. When we respond to our children with love, empathy, patience, care and understanding, we are teaching them how to behave in the world. We are teaching them their own worth and how to value worth in other human beings (no matter their size or status). When we have time-ins instead of time-outs we show children that even though we all have strong emotions and behaviours there is enough love and forgiveness in the world to make things right again.

September 20, 2018

4 reasons Dads are going to love The Pampers Baby Show & #MeetUp this year

The UK’s Best Baby Show has been running for the last 15 years, and finally hits SA shores this September. Moms and moms-to-be will be exposed to everything they need for a bump and baby – but don’t forget dads!. Daddies-to-be and new dads do not want to miss out on this event especially tailored to include both parents and provide a comprehensive, balanced approach to parenthood. Make informed choices “It’s vital for dad’s to be involved from the very beginning of the parenthood process as it allows them to make informed and considered choices for the health and happiness of their babies,” says Michael Simpson, Brand Manager, Pampers. “We encourage all dads (and moms) to pop-in at the Pampers stand as we will be providing parents insights into the superior quality and benefits of our nappies as the No. 1 Choice of Paediatricians in South Africa.” adds Simpson. Because boys will be boys Dads can also look forward to Porsche South Africa’s #SportsCarTogether Zone that will celebrate everything that is Porsche and family. Dads can check out Porsches latest baby, the all new Cayenne, whilst little ones take Porsche push cars for a test drive. For the little kid in you, Dad can experience a virtual drive around Kyalami Grand Prix Circuit and learn more about the models in the range through an interactive augmented reality timeline wall. Porsche Driver’s Selection clothing and accessories will be available for purchase during the show and you can stand a chance to win a Porsche Driver’s Selection hamper for the whole family. Trail before transaction The Four-wheeled adventures continue at the Pushchair Testing Track with the latest pushchairs on offer to tackle a dedicated obstacle course; the best way to discover the perfect pushchair fit for your growing family. Most stands at the Baby Show will provide trail opportunities to understand the benefits and experience first-hand how products and services can help you take care of your bump, baby and you. BIG advice from experts on little people On the Saturday of the event, the #MeetUp workshops with Meg Faure, provides a platform for visitors to have face-to-face interaction and enjoy entertaining talks from top experts in pregnancy and childcare. Besides talks about human milk and baby bumps, some topics will speak directly to dad: Sleep expert Dr Alison Bentley will be giving sleep saving tips for Dad to deal with the Night Shift; For the fathers and male role models out there, best-selling author and ‘dad coach’ Craig Wilkinson will get into those sometimes difficult to talk about topics, such as why don’t many SA men step up to fatherhood; Also talking about his recent surrogacy experience and being a single dad, will be former referee, Jonathan Kaplin, in the Parent Sense workshop, aptly titled “Winging it”; Priya Naicker (Advice Manager for Old Mutual Personal Finance) will answer all questions on how to finance for your new family; to name a few. The Pampers Baby Show & #MeetUp takes place at the Kyalami International Convention Centre from 28-30 September. For just R140, new mums and dads can secure 1x baby show ticket, 1x Pampers newborn nappy pack and 1x Pampers baby wipe pack. Use the promo code PAMPERS to secure your package today at www.babyshow.co.za About Pampers® Pampers® is the world’s top selling brand of baby nappies. For more than 50 years, Pampers® has been helping to improve life for babies, toddlers, and the parents who care for them through a complete line of nappies, training pants, and wipes designed for every stage of baby’s development. About Procter & Gamble P&G serves consumers around the world with one of the strongest portfolios of trusted, quality, leadership brands, including Always®, AmbiPur®, Ariel®, Bounty®, Charmin®, Crest®, Dawn®, Downy®, Fairy®, Febreze®, Gain®, Gillette®, Head & Shoulders®, Lenor®, Olay®, Oral-B®, Pampers®, Pantene®, SK-II®, Tide®, Vicks®, and Whisper®. The P&G community includes operations in approximately 70 countries worldwide. Please visit http://www.pg.com for the latest news and information about P&G and its brands.

September 20, 2018

Everything you need to know about a will

September is National Wills Month, so it’s a good reminder to draw one up if you don’t already have one, or update it if necessary. Financial experts at Hero Life guide you on everything you need to know about a will, by answering some frequently asked questions. Why is a will so important? Drawing up a will is not nearly as complex as most people think it is, especially when one considers the importance of having one. Regardless of the value of your assets, having a will in place reduces anxiety for the family you leave behind, and ensures that all your assets are distributed according to your wishes. Your will also protects your children as you can appoint a guardian for them when you die, preventing them from having to go under the care of the state or the Court choosing the guardians to look after them, if both their parents pass. How does one get started with a will? Nowadays, drawing up a will can be as easy as downloading basic templates from the internet or going through an online will-drafting process. In more complex cases (such as when there are ex-spouses/partners, children from previous marriages, disabled dependents, a special needs trust or any other specific wishes to be implemented), it is preferable to have a practising attorney or reputable bank draw up the will. This ensures that the wishes of the testator (the person who has written and executed a last will and testament) are set out correctly, and that they comply with all the legal requirements. Can the executor be a member of the family? An executor is the appointed person (or company) in your will who will ensure that your wishes as per your last will and testament, are honoured. If you don’t select an executor, the Court will choose someone. However, one can nominate a member of their family to be an executor on their will. If you nominate a spouse for example, this might not be the best option since they could be under emotional stress on your passing, and therefore not ready to make important financial decisions as an executor. If you nominate a family member, it’s a good idea to nominate an attorney as co-executor to deal with the legal issues. Also note that if the Court believes that your chosen executor doesn’t have the necessary skills to act on your behalf, they may select someone to assist your appointed executor. What are typical mistakes people make when drawing up a will? For parents of children, the biggest mistake would be not to nominate a legal guardian(s) for their children, and therefore leave it to the Court to decide. Other typical mistakes include leaving out specific assets from the will, or forgetting to update it as circumstances change. Most importantly though, the biggest mistake is not having a will at all. How often or when should a will be updated? Every time your circumstances change, for example you get divorced, or remarried, or have another child, you should update your will. While you’re at it, also look at your insurance policies and make sure that the nominated beneficiaries of these policies are updated to reflect your wishes. Who needs a copy of the will? If your Will was drafted by an attorney or bank, store it with them. If you decide to store the will yourself, it’s a good idea to make up one file of all your important documents, including your will, as this will make it easier for the people you leave behind. Add to this file a list of all your investments, assets, contact details of your executor and any other important documents you think your loved ones will need. Make sure this file, along with your will, are stored safely and that your loved ones and the person you have nominated as your executor are informed of where this file is stored. If you don’t have a will or an updated will, what’s the worst that can happen? The worst-case scenario if you pass away without a will, is that your assets and money will be divided as per the provision of the Intestate Succession Act. Although the provisions as per the Act are usually fair in that your assets and money will be transferred to your spouse and children, it doesn’t mean that your assets will go to the person of your choice. Not having a will can also mean that it usually takes longer for your estate to be wound up as the Court need to appoint an executor and a legal guardian (if the other parent is also no longer alive). Unnecessary delays in dealing with your estate could affect your family if they rely on you for an income. The same holds true if you don’t update your will as your circumstances change – you want to ensure that your preferred people are being looked after. If you neglect to update your will, it could mean that your estranged spouse receives a portion of your assets, which might not have been what you had in mind.For more information on drawing up a Will, getting started on your kids’ university savings fund or getting life insurance, contact Hero Life.

September 18, 2018

The PROVES Method – the perfect strategy for mastering your matric mock exams

Matrics from the Class of 2018 should now be deep into preparing for their upcoming mock exams – which are only a few weeks away – and ultimately the final exams of their school careers in two months’ time. With only a handful of weeks left to revise, they now need to up the ante to ensure they get the best marks possible on their prelims. Doing so will enable them firstly to see which areas need more work before they write their finals, and will also ensure that they get the very best marks to allow them access to the higher education institution and qualification of their choice. “Learners now need to go beyond reading and re-reading their textbooks and notes, and employ a more holistic strategy which will position them to bring their very best to the exam room,” says Wonga Ntshinga, Senior Head of Programme: Faculty of ICT at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest and most accredited private higher education institution. Ntshinga says that at this stage of the game, the PROVES method is a great approach to follow, as it helps to cement the academic work in the learner’s mind, while expanding understanding from different angles. Additionally, it gets learners in the right frame of mind, to withstand the anxiety and stress which can negatively impact performance. The PROVES method can be broken down as follows: PRACTISE by writing past papers or example questions rather than just reading. Most schools should make past papers available to their learners, but it is also a good idea to get ones in addition to those provided by your school. Good higher education institutions also help matric learners by providing past papers, so go visit a registered and accredited one in your area, and ask a student advisor to assist. As a bonus, the student advisor might even be able to talk through some of your concerns about the exams and your post-matric options, which will further help to mitigate any anxiety you may have. REFRESH by making sure you are eating, sleeping and exercising enough. Cramming into the early hours of the morning before an exam will leave you stressed, exhausted and unable to focus. It is important now to look after your physical and mental health as well as throwing your weight behind your books. Learners still have enough time to cover what they need to cover ahead of the exams, but then the plan needs to be put into motion right away, to avoid last-minute panic and the resultant impact on their physical wellbeing. ORGANISE yourself, your time and your work. Having a neat working environment and a clear plan for what you need to do and study every day, as well as having the relevant materials sorted and on hand, will go a long way to reduce anxiety and optimise learning. Follow the plan closely but avoid spending hours every day on the plan rather than the implementation of the plan. Don’t allow yourself to feel overwhelmed, but focus on the small efforts – hour after hour, day after day – which, when compounded, will ultimately make a big impact. VISUALISE by using colour and mind maps and other strategies rather than just words, so that you can use more of your brain. EXPLAIN by answering questions or telling friends or relatives about your work. It is not until you have tried to explain what you know that you can assess if you know enough to answer the questions. SOCIAL MEDIA can be used as an academic tool to expand your understanding and grasp of your work. This can best be done by getting together a study group of equally dedicated and committed peers, and using the various platforms for specific purposes. Being part of a study group helps you track your progress, can quickly help you clarify your understanding of issues or set you on the right track if you have misunderstood something, and it also acts as an early warning system if you are falling behind. The various channels and apps can be used as follows: GOOGLE to find a wealth of online resources. From how to handle exam stress, to self-marking mock papers, study timetable templates and content/concept lists. Do a search for “Matric Exams 2018” which will provide many excellent results which can assist you in your preparation and motivation. A dedicated WHATSAPP study group enables discussion, last minute clarifications and sharing of notes. It is best to align study breaks within the group, and put your mobile on airplane mode while you’re hitting the books. When taking a break, connect with your peers via WhatsApp to share your understanding, successes and concerns. FACEBOOK groups for specific subjects is a great way to share materials and visuals, while enabling group discussions. When it’s time to take a break from the written word, go to YOUTUBE to find videos related to the content you are studying. Sometimes seeing something explained in video format will clarify things you just weren’t able to pin down while going through your textbooks. “The next few weeks and months are going to be taxing for learners preparing for their final exams, but by following a strict study strategy and doing what needs to be done every day – without allowing panic and procrastination to set in – there is still sufficient time even for learners who aren’t quite where they should be at the moment,” Ntshinga says. “And by incorporating this strategy into their approach right now, many learners will also find a new feeling of empowerment to take on the additional burden that higher education will bring.”

September 18, 2018

Developing children’s EQ crucial for future success in rapidly changing world

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is increasingly becoming a greater determinant of future success across all spheres of life than IQ, an expert says, adding that it is more important than ever before that EQ is nurtured from a young age. “The introduction of social media into our lives as well as the lives of our children has created an environment where people are required to efficiently manage a variety of relationships simultaneously and successfully,” says Chris Van Niekerk, head at Founders Hill College, part of Africa’s largest private education provider, ADvTECH. He says the acquisition of knowledge, while obviously important, is less critical in the current information age, and that the emphasis for success has more to do with what can be done with the knowledge at hand. “This requires the ability to collaborate across gender divides, age gaps, cultural differences, and the like. A well-developed EQ will position a child well to positively engage 21st century challenges in adolescence and ultimately, adulthood.” Van Niekerk says that emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to understand our own feelings, as well as the feelings of those around us. This includes concepts of self-awareness, empathy and dealing sensitively with other people. “In a world where we are required to manage a matrix of personal and professional relationships instantly and efficiently, the need to have a well-developed sense of self, alongside good empathetic social awareness is critical. It is widely accepted that IQ alone does not guarantee success in adulthood, in either the workplace or at home. “Our potential, and that of our children, will only come to fruition if our cognitive abilities are enhanced, complemented and communicated through a well-developed EQ which entails sound self-awareness as well as the awareness of the emotions of those around us.” Van Niekerk says that a well-developed EQ can, literally, be the deciding factor for success in adulthood. “This places an exciting, but onerous burden on us as parents and educators to ensure that our children are not only well versed in the Social, Natural and Commercial Sciences, among others, but also have the emotional savvy to manage their own feelings and behaviours, while being able to understand the feelings of others.” He advises parents who are serious about prioritising the EQ of their children to start incorporating strategies to develop it in their daily lives. There are a few practical ways in which to do this: Role model the behaviour that you expect in your children. Normalise talking about emotions. Acknowledge positive and negative emotions in your child. Teach your children that feelings and behaviour are in fact separable. Negative emotions do not have to lead to inappropriate behaviour. Keep your expectations, and subsequent guidance, age appropriate. Love them unconditionally. “The need for Emotional Intelligence is introduced naturally to our children from early cognition, when they learn ‘acceptable behaviour’, learn to manipulate others, and respond to their environment to get what they need, and more often, to get what they want,” says Van Niekerk. “The ‘how’ of introducing EQ to children is dependant on their emotional capacity, which is usually linked to their age. Six-year-olds, normatively, are able to follow basic instructions, can express their feelings, fears and problems, are reasonably self-sufficient and are able to compare themselves to their peers. With this specific ‘emotional skill set’ in mind, parents and teachers can get creative with exploring learning opportunities related to identifying and naming emotions, reflecting on the emotions that accompanied certain experiences during the day, as well as exploring different ways of expressing emotions.” Van Niekerk says it is widely accepted that people with well-developed emotional intelligence do better in the workplace than those of similar IQ, but who are less proficient in areas related to “people skills”. “This is true for the entire life cycle of our careers, from the entry point during the interviewing process, to ultimately fulfilling our professional potential later in our careers. Academic excellence is important and it matters in the workplace, however people drive workplace processes, and the degree of an individual’s success is reliant on combining these various skill sets. “Equally, in personal relationships, a realistic and well-grounded identity, coupled with positive feelings about our concept of self, create an ideal position for us to choose and enjoy fulfilling and healthy family and social lives as adults. And the best time to start this journey to personal success, is in a child’s early years.”

September 11, 2018

Is technology destroying our humanness?

The world is spinning with new technologies and we, the human inhabitants, are the willing prey! Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says “With ever-increasing time spent on smartphones, iPads and in front of live-streamed TV, we are in danger of losing our humanness. Teeny toddlers, vulnerable teens, exhausted parents and even bored grandparents can be seen, heads-down, shoulders bent and disengaged from the real world as they spend endless hours scrolling through their devices. Losing a smartphone is a big deal and people often feel a loss which is akin to losing a much-prized body part!” Cindy highlights the following negative effects of too much screen time and says that they are serious enough for us, as parents, to STOP and take note! • It affects cognitive development in young children as it literally effects the way in which our children’s brains develop! • Too much screen time stifles creativity, imagination and playfulness which are essential to the wholesome development of children. • Concentration, critical thinking, memory and other learning skills are effected as children focus mindlessly on information (whether real or not) as it just pours effortlessly into their subconscious! • It affects mental and physical health as people become increasingly inactive and detached from the real world. • It will harm your relationship with your children. With parents and children spending too much time on their devices, they run the risk of losing the positive human connections that are key to happy relationships! Children feel unacknowledged, unheard and unnoticed and this leads to negative behaviours, anxiety, stress and depression. Cindy goes on to explain “We cannot ignore the dangers of too much exposure to the non-real world that the internet offers. We cannot afford to lose the beauty of life because we did not take a stand against the media (in all its forms)!” Consider the following tips in reducing the amount of screen time that you allow for yourself and your children: 1. You have to set the example. Your children are more likely to do what you do, rather than what you say. You cannot expect your children to reduce their screen time if you do not do the same! 2. Have dedicated no-go-zones for devices. Family activities, mealtimes and even when driving in a car can be cell phone free zones. 3. Get outside! Plan activities that involve getting into nature- it is great for the soul and it will increase all the happy-hormones in your bodies! 4. Encourage your children to get involved in activities beyond the school environment-sport, drama, music and art are great examples. 5. Very young children need to play with their hands and bodies, not on a device. Cindy closes by reiterating “Remember, as parents, we must set the example. REAL people, real love, real joy, real honesty and integrity cannot be experienced through the internet!”

September 10, 2018

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