Parenting - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO INTRODUCE SOLIDS TO YOUR BABY?

Over many years the theory on when the right age to introduce solids is, has been debated. The advice has varied over the last 60 years from 2 weeks old to 6 months and even older. There are two ways to approach this question: Understanding science and research Knowing your own baby The current evidence in research points to the following: Do not introduce any solids into your baby’s diet before 17 weeks unless advised to by a medical doctor. Preferably breastfeed your baby for at least 6 months. Do not delay the introduction of solids too long after 6 months as allergy risk as well as fussy eating can result from very late introduction of solids. It is safe from an allergy perspective to introduce solids between 17 weeks and 6 months of age. Your Baby With the facts in mind, turn your attention to your baby. Introduce solids between the window of 17 weeks and 6 months, once your baby shows he needs and is ready for solids: No longer displays a tongue thrust reflex that pushes food from his mouth. Can hold up his head and sits supported in a chair Is no longer stretching between feeds and is demanding another feed in the day. Interest in your eating and reaching for your food or utensils when you are eating. Not sleeping as well at night as he was previously. Once you have weighed this up, discuss it further with your clinic sister who knows your baby best from a health perspective.

August 25, 2023

WHAT IS A “LAZY” EYE?

Amblyopia better known as “lazy eye” occurs when the vision in a child’s one eye doesn’t develop like it should. If it is not treated promptly the brain will only process the picture from the normal eye and learn to ignore the picture from the lazy eye. It is in fact the leading cause of visual impairment in children and affects approximately 2 to 3 out of every 100 children. What are the possible causes? Amblyopia commonly starts when one eye has a much better focus than the other. This can be caused by a number of conditions * such as: Strabismus (squint) –This is the most common cause of amblyopia. It occurs when the eyes don’t line up properly, for example, one-eye turns in towards the nose or it turns out towards the ears. The eyes cannot focus together on an image so the brain compensates by switching off whichever eye produces the fuzziest image. Unequal Refractive Errors or focus – Refractive amblyopia occurs when the brain favours one eye over the other due to extreme near-sightedness, far-sightedness or even astigmatism *. The brain gets a blurry image from the eye with the refractive error and a clear image from the normal eye, so to stop the confusion; it starts to ignore the eye with the blurry image. Vision Obstruction – This is also known as deprivation amblyopia. This occurs when something blocks light from entering a baby’s eye. Common causes include cataracts, scars and blood at the back of the eye. How is it Diagnosed? Amblyopia can be difficult to spot because it doesn’t have any external signs or symptoms and it begins in infancy or early childhood. Because of this some experts recommend that children have their eyes tested at six months, then at three years and again before they start school. Some clues that amblyopia may be present include: Observing a baby’s behaviour when one eye is blocked; if the baby continuously and constantly fusses or cries, it might indicate a vision problem. Squinting eyes can also be another clue that amblyopia may be present. Because amblyopia often affects one eye only, the parents may notice that the child constantly bumps into objects on the affected side.* If amblyopia runs in the family, the child is more likely to get it. Remember, you can’t tell by just looking at a child that they have it, and although these clues might give a suggestion of amblyopia, a full examination is needed to make an accurate diagnosis. This is essential so that prompt treatment can be started to try and prevent irreversible vision loss. How is it treated? The most common form of treatment for amblyopia is to retrain the brain to start using the weaker eye. This is done by firstly correcting any focusing problems with glasses or surgery (when needed) and then wearing a patch over the stronger eye. Sometimes eye drops are also prescribed to blur the image in the stronger eye, forcing the brain to use the weaker eye. What’s the long-term outlook? Amblyopia can lead to problems* if left untreated, such as loss of depth perception or blindness in one eye. If the stronger eye gets injured somehow, then serious problems with visual acuity can follow. With early diagnosis and treatment, most children’s vision will improve. It becomes increasingly difficult to treat after the age of 10 and therefore it is so Important to catch it early!

August 24, 2023

GETTING THE STIMULATION BALANCE RIGHT WITH YOUR BABY

Stimulation is important for brain development – of that we are sure. The connections (synapses) that are made between brain cells are vital for development. For example a connection in the language part of the brain will result in understanding of speech or in speech itself. Connections are mainly made between brain cells in the presence of stimulation.

August 23, 2023

Lifesaving tips every parent should know about

While most parents prefer not to think of their children in potentially life-threatening situations, being prepared and knowing how to respond appropriately in the event of an accident, injury or illness is crucial for the well-being of children. These unexpected events can also place huge financial burdens on families if they are not dealt with quickly, decisively and correctly. For this reason, Bestmed Medical Scheme has introduced Best Care, a life-saving first aid series that offers insights on how parents and caregivers can better care for their families. In this article the brand offers tips on first aid kits, CPR and Wound care in collaboration with some of SA’s best paediatricians. First aid A fully stocked first aid kit is an essential item in every home, but it’s also a good idea to create a mini first aid kit that can be carried in a handbag, diaper bag or in the car for use during an emergency while out and about or on the road to your next holiday destination. According to paediatrician, Dr Enrico Maraschin, having medical tools and medication that can be used to measure and control a temperature is vital. High fevers can be dangerous to the health and wellbeing of little ones if left unattended or not properly treated. It can result in convulsions, which is a stressful event for parents to witness and support their child through. Rehydration solutions, over-the-counter medicines to bind a runny tummy and even probiotics are good items to include in your home first aid kit for children, in case your child is exposed to a virus or bacteria that can cause diarrhoea and sometimes vomiting. Antiseptic creams, bandages to wrap wounds and a small pair of scissors to cut bandages may also come in handy in case of a fall or injury, and keep safety pins, an eye patch and adhesive dressings packed too. CPR Knowing how to resuscitate a child who is choking or having difficulty breathing is a necessary first aid skill that every parent and caregiver should possess, as it could help keep them alive until emergency services arrive. Resuscitation is necessary when a child appears unresponsive, has collapsed or is gasping for air and struggling to breathe. It’s always best, of course, to intercede and assist a child as early on as possible – always take signs of breathing difficulty seriously and don’t wait for the child to collapse before taking action. The first abbreviation to keep in mind is SSS – Safety, Shout and Stimulate. Safety: Look at the immediate environment around you and ascertain whether it’s safe to attend to the child here or if they need to be moved to safety. It might seem simple enough, but in a moment of panic it’s easy to lose sight of this very important step. Shout: Call for help from people nearby, phone the emergency services or get someone to call an ambulance for you. Stimulate: Check if the child is responsive by gently tapping their arm, stroking their face or speaking to them. If the child does not groan or move and is unresponsive, quickly move on to the ABC. ABC is a CPR abbreviation that stands for Airway, Breathe, and Circulation. Airway: Make sure the child’s head and neck are aligned and that their body is positioned in a straight position – don’t let the neck flex as this prevents air from reaching the lungs. Breathe: In the case of infants and babies, place your mouth over their nose and mouth to create a seal. For bigger babies and children, pinch the nose and place the mouth over just their mouth. Circulation: There are three steps involved in this section: Step one: Take a breath and breathe into the mouth, making sure that the chest rises. Step two: Wait for the chest to deflate to normal position Step three: Repeat the first step. You can continue this cycle five times. If the child is still not responsive, move on to chest compressions. While the technique varies between younger and older children, the gist remains the same. For infants, use two fingers or a hand circling technique to apply compressions. For older children who are above the age of one, use one or two hands curled around the other to press on to the breastbone (the same would apply for an adult). Use quick compressions, positioning yourself directly over the chest and keeping the elbows straight. “You need to do the compressions at a rate of 100 to 120 seconds. Singing a song like ‘Staying Alive’ in your head and compressing to the beat will help you to do this,” says paediatrician, Dr Kevanya Coopoo. Alternate between compressions and administering rescue breaths, and continue this until help arrives, the child is responsive, or you are too fatigued. “I always recommend that families go for basic life support courses. Have a look at the Resuscitation Council of South Africa’s website for a range of courses to choose from,” says Dr Coopoo. She adds that this ensures all members of the family are aware of safety practices and are able to help one another in a crisis. For younger children, teach them the phone numbers of emergency services so that they can call for help in an emergency. Wound care Accidents happen, and when they do, they may result in wounds that require proper care and treatment to ensure they heal well. A wound is any break in the skin or injury to the tissue. It can be open (in the case of the skin being penetrated or cut) or closed (if there’s damage to underlying tissue). “If there’s bleeding, compress the wound with a clean cloth or gauze for a few minutes until the bleeding stops. Then rinse off with clean running tap water for a few minutes. Now, clean the wound by using an alcohol-sterilised pair of tweezers to pick out any debris,” says Dr Coopoo. Dr Coopoo adds that the wound would most likely be moist at

August 17, 2023

When do children start talking?

This is one of the most common questions posed to a speech therapist. As a parent, if this questions has come to your mind – this indicates a certain level of concern for your child which is a great start. An open minded parent, who shows keen interest in their child’s developmental milestones, is the beginning of a child’s progress. Being in denial about any delay in your child’s milestones is more detrimental to your child than the actual delay itself. For any concern, assistance is always available. Trust your gut feeling – motherly instincts are there for a very good reason, listen to it. At the end of this article we share a fun activity to encourage your child to make verbal requests in various lengths with the final aim being – “Mommy, may I have more chocolate pizza please” The standards that we have for our children differ according to various factors. Two parents, who may have had a rough childhood financially, could have opposing views regarding money when it comes to their own children. One parent may feel that their children need to value money in the same way hence they limit their spending and have a set amount of allowance they receive. The other parent may feel that they do not want their child to be ‘deprived’ the way they were hence they have no limits regarding how much money their child receives. Both parties need to have a common ground to avoid conflict in their relationship and the relationship they have with their child. You might be wondering – what does this have to do with my child’s speech development? In the same way 2 parents can have different opinions regarding finances, 2 parents can also have different opinions whether a child’s speech is delayed “just like so and so’s son” or a visit to a speech therapist is compulsory. Depending on who you ask, the stage of “talking” is interpreted differently. For some, it may be when a child starts using vocalisations such as /nana/ whilst others it could be when a child uses a two-word utterance such as /baba gone/. The former is known as babbling which begins around the age of 4 months and the latter is achieved by 18 months. Before we discuss these milestones in greater detail, let’s understand the difference between speech and language. As elaborated in our May edition, All You Need to Know About Speech Therapists, “speech” is the actual sounds that emanate from the mouth. Disorders of speech can include stuttering, a lisp, apraxia, dysarthria. “Language” is a system of communication made up of written text and sounds. Language is further broken down into receptive and expressive language. A child who can follow age appropriate verbal instructions but is unable to express himself verbally is said to have delayed expressive language development. At birth, your new-born’s sole method of communicating hunger, pain and discomfort is by crying (see Dunstan baby language by Priscilla Dunstan as featured on the Oprah Winfrey show). Cooing and laughter are 2 reflexes that a baby can’t control i.e. it happens naturally. Playing the game peek-a-boo is an ideal way to stimulate these reflexes in children 4 – 12 months. They would laugh (sometimes uncontrollably!) at almost any silly sound that you make. Just as walking is preceded by crawling, so too is talking preceded by babbling. For some babbling are the non-sense sounds which babies make that have the ability to melt anyone’s heart. Ironically, we can’t wait for babies to start talking, however once they are older and the questions don’t stop – we wish they would keep quiet. 4 – 5 months Simple babbling Ba – na – da Your child discovers s/he has a “voice” and will experiment with pitch, volume, tone etc 6 – 7 months: Reduplicated babbling (repeated the same sound) Baba – nana – mama – dada A string of the same sound may be repeated e.g. mamamamama 8 – 9 months: Variegated babbling (repeating different sounds) Maba – daba – bana 10 – 11 months: Jargon 12 month: First meaning word By the age of 12 months, your child will understand more words than they can say i.e. their receptive language will be greater than their expressive language. As parents, it is tempting for us to respond to our children’s non-verbal cues as compared to prompting them for a verbal response. Let’s explain further using a practical example Scenario 1 Ten-month old Ben was playing with a soft ball which has rolled under the bed. His mother noticed that the ball has disappeared. Without saying a word, she reaches under the bed to get the ball and pass it to Ben. Ben’s mother could have used verbal and non – verbal communication which requires minimal effort but has a profound impact on Ben’s development. Scenario 2 Ten-month old Tom’s mother, Sarah, noticed that his favourite toy fell off the table. She turned to Tom and asked, “Where is your toy” while using exaggerated facial expression, a questioning tone of voice and arms in the air. Sarah then puts her hand over her mouth and says “Oh-o!” with her other hand on her hip. By now Tom is carefully examining his mothers body language and taking cues from her tone of voice that something is wrong. Sarah then repeats the words “Gone!” in a stern tone a few times. Tom is making association between his mothers body language, tone of voice and choice of words. Sarah decides to let Tom crawl on the floor and look for his toy. He finds his toy and exclaims by saying ‘bababa’. Sarah then takes the toy away from him and places it behind her back, out of Tom’s sight. She asks Tom again, “Where is your toy”. Only once his facial expression changes does she repeat the words “Gone!” using the same tone of voice and facial expression as before. Sarah has used the opportunity to expand her child’s

August 3, 2023

A bedtime routine for the family

My kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old and I wanted to help moms out with an idea of what your evenings could look like with a consistent routine that your children can know and become used to. By knowing what to expect, as each night is more or less the same, my kids don’t argue or negotiate what to do or not do, as we have done the routine since they were babies. We have dinner when dad gets home from work around 5:00/5:30 p.m. After dinner, we do some sort of activity, which usually lasts for 15−20 minutes. We either go outside and play, throw the ball for our dog, swing or jump on the trampoline (the kids, not us adults!). Or, on long summer days, we go for a walk around the block. After this, we go inside and all three kids jump into the bath at around 18:00/18:15 p.m. While they bath, I get their clothing ready – nappy for little one and PJs. I set up their essential-oil owl diffusers (I find this is super helpful with snotty noses and change of season as well as dry air) and take the towels back to the bathroom, while dad stands in the doorway watching them. They play and the splashing often gets a little out of hand; we wash them and then wrangle them out the bath by 18:30 p.m. We apply cream, do meds and get dressed. We then all read a story or two (sometimes three, if they get their way) on one bed. After the story, it is lights out. We all say good night and my husband often sits with the older two for a few minutes (my 4- and 6-year olds share a room, each with their own bed) and I take our 2-year old to bed. I tuck her in with her bunny and also sit with her or stand by the door for a few minutes. Most nights, all the kids are asleep by 7:00 p.m. In summer, we put the fans are on, which helps with a bit of white noise, and in winter, we have wall heaters to take the chill off the air. I dress my kids in warm fleece onesies in winter because they generally do not sleep under their blankets, and before I go to bed myself each night, I check on them and put a blanket over them, as being cold can cause early wakings with babies and children. When they were smaller they still had sleeping bags. We try keep our bedtime routine, from bath to lights out, within 30 minutes. Research shows that our body’s melatonin is at its highest point within 30 minutes of having had warm water on our bodies, and I have seen that this really does help my kids calm down and get sleepy. With only one child, you can really create a SPA type of environment with dimmed lights and calming music. But as they grow and are more mobile or when you start to have more kids in the bath-time routine, it is quite unrealistic to expect your kids to not splash and be loud at bath time. Having a consistent routine allows my children to know what is coming next and that bedtime with lights off is at the end of the routine. To summarise: WHY a bedtime routine is needed: A consistent bedtime routine is vital for good sleep health, for both children and adults. The consistency of a bedtime routine helps your baby or child prepare for sleep and to know that sleep is coming. It also helps with melatonin production. WHEN a bedtime routine should be done: If you aim for bedtime to be between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., you need to aim for 30 minutes before that. HOW a bedtime routine should be done: I love reading that “a bedtime routine should be relaxing and a SPA-like environment should be created” (at Good Night, we even used to advocate this). And yes, that is a lovely idea and would help with prepping the brain for sleep and allow your baby to feel super relaxed and calm. It could also be achievable when you have only one child, but throw three children in the bath together and the noise and atmosphere will be more like varsity-locker-room vibes than a SPA. Load shedding added to the mix can spice up your night, especially as it is getting darker earlier as winter approaches. I use a lamp to have light in the bathroom. I also need to be a little more prepared with turning our geyser on earlier so our water is warm and making sure the clothing is out so I don’t need to use my cell phone flashlight to find the PJs in the dark. But my kids are so used to load shedding that it doesn’t cause too many issues; they just know that we need to then tell and not read a story in the dark. Below are just the basic points of what a bedtime routine can look like. Bedtime routine: Bath Dress in PJs Read a story Hugs and kisses Lights off Being able to have all three of our children bath and do their bedtime routine together was what we wanted as a family, firstly to create a time of bonding and secondly for practical reasons. When my husband works late, I need to be able to independently bath and put to bed all three of my kids together and bathing and dressing them one by one is way too exhausting and drawn out. Having all three of our kids bath together works for us, even though that creates lots of noise, wet floors and chaos. We embrace the chaos and noise and allow the warm water temperature to do its work on the brain (temperature change signals the brain to release melatonin) regardless of the splashing and loud fun being had by all three children. By Megan

August 2, 2023

HOW TO DISCARD OF EXPIRED OR UNUSED MEDICATIONS

I usually go through all my medications during National Pharmacy Month in September since that’s when I usually remember to do so. It’s also the month I make time to reorganise my drug cupboard. However, this year I have seen many of you start off the new year by decluttering your homes and doing a little bit of “spring cleaning”.

August 1, 2023

How much should you be feeding your toddler?

Nutrition is one of the most important things to get right when your child starts eating.

August 1, 2023

How to weighted blankets help with sleep, anxiety and concentration?

Weighted blankets and toys are designed to help children and adults with difficulties such as anxiety, hyperactivity and sleeplessness to attain a calm and relaxed state. The added weight provides deep pressure input, which is interpreted by the proprioceptive system. Our proprioceptors are sensory receptors located in our muscles and joints. This system helps us feel the position of our bodies in space. Proprioceptive or ‘deep pressure’ input is calming and organising to our bodies. For the same reason, we like firm hugs when we are in distress, bite our nails or chew gum when we are anxious, and why babies suck dummies and fingers. All of these activities are using the proprioceptive system for calming. Deep pressure is also an essential part of child development. It is present for the entire period in utero and helps keep baby content in the womb. When the baby is born, they are no longer held within the tight cocoon of the womb space. Providing the same kind of pressure to their bodies helps them feel comforted and secure. It also helps to carry them over during sleep cycles, meaning they won’t need to wake up for comfort when moving from one sleep cycle to the next. Weighted blankets also provide what is called a ‘grounding effect’. They help children and adults to feel safe and secure at night, by helping them feel more grounded. There is also less chance of rolling over and the blanket slipping off, or your child kicking it off at night and then crying to be recovered. For toddlers and children, the extra weight when carrying the toy or blanket stimulates the proprioceptors, giving them more opportunity to learn about their body position in space. Heavy muscle work by carrying these items is also calming and organising. Weighted items also provide input to the tactile system-our sense of touch. While light, unexpected touch is alerting and can be irritating, deep, constant touch is calming and comforting. Children often need this constant deep touch to remain calm, and stay asleep. Weighted items can also be very effective within the school environment. Weighted lap pads are designed to be worn over the lap in class by the restless, fidgety or anxious child. The weight helps the child remain seated for longer periods, and can benefit concentration.

July 26, 2023

HOW TO MAKE MATHS MORE ENGAGING FOR KIDS

Have you ever heard your child say that maths isn’t fun? While maths can be challenging, there are a variety of ways to make maths more engaging and fun for kids of all ages. First, help your child understand how they can use maths in real-life scenarios. From cooking to careers, there’s a ton of instances that maths is useful, and recognizing that can help them understand why it’s important to continue practicing. Once they understand a bit more about how maths is used, try some of the below methods to make learning maths more engaging. Play maths games There are a ton of maths games out there that effectively teach while being entertaining. No matter what maths level your child is on, there is a game that can tie in learning a new concept or strengthening one that they want to improve. Playing maths games takes away a feeling of intimidation and encourages kids to have fun while practicing their skills. Incorporate it into their interests Let’s say your child loves to help you cook. You can incorporate maths seamlessly into your preparation by discussing recipes while cooking. If your child loves soccer, you can talk about how maths can be used to figure out different plays and positions, and how the statistics side of it can tell a story. Incorporating maths into an interest that they love will show kids that maths is useful and something that can help them expand their skills. Hands-on learning experiences Have you ever seen a jar filled with sweets and the option to guess how many are in the jar? This is a great example of a hands-on learning experience because of the options to incorporate maths skills. While guessing is a fun element, counting different coloured sweets can bring in addition, multiplication, and even fractions. It’s a great way to show maths beyond paper and pencil problems. Read books that talk about maths If your child is interested in reading or learning about maths in a different way than just through numbers and equations, try finding books that incorporate maths. Many children’s picture books use maths to count or talk about objects. A short search on the internet will give you so many book suggestions, but one that might be really useful is this one from Stanford University: “40 Children’s Books That Foster a Love of Math” Enrol in an enrichment programme Sometimes maths isn’t fun because a child is struggling with the foundational skills. To make maths more engaging, consider an enrichment program that consistently challenges and incorporates practice. This will help to build their skills and ability to problem solve which in turn can help them feel more confident to tackle maths concepts. The Kumon Maths Programme develops strong problem-solving and calculation skills from the four basic operations through algebra and calculus. In the Maths Programme, students will develop a solid foundation of maths skills that can help them excel in and out of the classroom. In addition, the Programme develops confidence, concentration, perseverance, self-discipline and the ability to learn new work on your own. If you would like to find out more about the Kumon Maths Programme, visit us at www.kumon.co.za This article is taken directly from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/how-to-make-maths-more-engaging/?doing_wp_cron=1656500380.2784550189971923828125

July 26, 2023

Bathing your Baby

How often should I bath my baby? It’s up to you how often you bathe your baby. Some babies love being in the water and giving your baby a warm bath can become a fun and relaxing ritual. That’s not to say you have to bathe your baby every day. If your baby is new born, a bath two or three times a week is enough to keep him clean. Bear in mind that if you live in a hard water area, too much tap water may dry out and damage your baby’s skin. Between baths: wash your baby’s face regularly clean your baby’s genitals and bottom after each nappy change wipe any grime off his skin When you do bath your baby you may find it a little scary the first few times. You may want to have someone with you to give you a bit of support. It’s also helpful if you’ve forgotten something you need for your baby. Until you get into a routine, you’ll probably find this is a common occurrence! Handling a wriggling, wet and slippery baby takes practice and confidence, but you and your baby will get used to bath time and start to enjoy it. Most babies find warm water soothing and a bath may help a fussy baby to relax and calm down. Where should I bath my baby? To begin with you may find it easier to use the kitchen sink or a small plastic baby bath. You could use your big bath, but it can be awkward as you need to kneel or lean over the side. If you do use your big bath, it may help to use a bathing seat or support, or a rubber mat or sponge bath base. When should I bath my baby? Choose a time of day when you’re not expecting any interruptions and have time to devote to your baby. It’s best if your baby is awake and contented before you start, and between feeds, so he’s neither hungry nor full. When your baby is new born you may find it easiest to bath him during the day. But after a few months, a bath can become part of his bedtime routine. Warm water can help to relax your baby and make him sleepy. It’s also an opportunity for other family members to get involved. Bath time is a part of baby care that dads often enjoy taking on. If someone comes to the door or the phone rings and you feel you must answer it, scoop your baby up and take him with you. Never leave your baby unattended in the bath, not even for a few seconds. That could be all the time it takes for your baby to get into difficulty in the water. Even if one of your older children is in the bath with him, or you are using a special bath, bath support or bath seat, you must stay with your baby. Once your baby is a couple of months old, you or your partner could share a bath with him. Being in the bath with your baby is a lovely way for you to be close to each other. It’s a great way for dads to have precious skin-to-skin time with their baby, too. Have a quick shower or wash before you get in the bath. Make sure the water is warm, not hot. Use mild baby cleansers and washes, as your normal bath products will be too harsh for your baby’s skin. It can be tricky, and risky, to get in and out of the bath while holding your baby, so ask your partner or someone else to help. They can pass your baby to you once you’ve got in and lift him back out again when you’ve finished.

July 26, 2023

PARENTING AS A TEAM

When a parent comes to me for help with their kids and tells me about their challenges, my first step is to ask questions about this family’s situation. The information they share with me usually sheds some light on circumstances that may be contributing toward, or causing at least some of the challenges this parent is currently experiencing. Some of those circumstances include the current condition of the relationship of the parents of the children; fighting, arguing, separation, divorce, etc. These situations factor in because children are affected directly by the adult emotional chaos that may be happening in the home or around the kids. Here are some suggestions for parenting more as a team, regardless of any issues that have come between the adults. Agree together on how various situations will be handled with the children, and implement them with conviction. You won’t have answers to all situations but you can begin discussing with each other how you will both handle common ones to start. When new situations arise unexpectedly, discuss them in private away from the kids and then announce them jointly. If you’re just getting ready to start a family, it’s never too early to discuss parenting issues. Make time to discuss your values and beliefs in parenting and children rearing with your significant other, and share your experiences on how you were parented as a child. Take a parenting class to learn together and seek recommendations on good parenting books from family and friends. Always speak respectfully of other caregivers who share with you, the responsibility for caring for your children. This includes your spouse, the other parent, grandparents and other relatives. Doing so models integrity for the kids to learn from. Even though the other caregiver may have done something to hurt you or others, as long as they are sharing in the caregiving, your child(ren) may still see them as a hero and an adult to look up to. It’s not always possible to hide arguments from the kids and some experts suggest that you don’t. It’s definitely OK for your kids to know that you both don’t always agree, but refrain from mistreating the other adult verbally or physically. It’s important to know that your children will learn how to develop their own relationships with others, based on the model you present. If the argument begins to escalate, take it to another room for privacy. It’s also important that your children see the “makeup” after the argument subsides. And what if you’re a single parent? Create a support network made up of adults you trust with your children who can help give you the breaks you need to “recharge your batteries.” For single moms, engage trustworthy male relatives to spend time with your son(s) and for single dads, engage female relatives you trust to spend time with your daughters. And it’s great when your boyfriend and/or girlfriend bonds with your children, but they should not administer discipline. That’s reserved for you, the parent.

July 24, 2023

Parental Preference

It is quite typical that many children appear to have a parental preference for one parent/caregiver even when it comes to sleep. This essentially prevents the other parent’s efforts to attend to their baby. This dynamic, whatever the cause, often results in one parent feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and the other parent feeling disempowered, unloved, frustrated and resentful. Is this normal? It is very typical, in fact, it is developmentally appropriate for a baby to assign their needs to be met solely by one specific parent. However, we can also encourage children to begin focusing on more than one relationship at a time by encouraging a higher level of acceptance of the less preferred parent. Firstly, the baby needs to learn that the parents trust each other. If a mom is always jumping in to rescue the baby when they are crying in Daddy’s arms, the mom is giving the baby the impression that she doesn’t trust dad to care for the baby. You want to avoid undermining the relationship and give them a chance to figure out their own dynamic. Just because they do it differently does not mean they are doing it wrong. We need the baby to understand that parents do things differently and those differences are ok. The way daddy dresses me might be clumsier than the way mommy does it. Mommy might rush me through the bath, where daddy likes to take his time and let me play and splash a bit more. What does this mean for sleep? When we embark on sleep coaching, it can entail us taking into consideration what the baby associates with falling asleep: is this sustainable, a long-term solution? Does it require assistance from anyone other than the baby? Often we find baby’s that need to be held in a very specific way, swayed to a very specific rhythm, fed the breast or sung to. That makes it very difficult for any other person to replicate. Encouraging inter-changeability around bedtime is desirable as it prevents one parent from becoming an unsustainable sleep association and allows the baby to learn that sleep is associated with themselves and NOT someone else or someone specific. The benefit is that both parents can do bedtime and take turns to do bedtime. The added benefit is that it makes babysitting your baby easier! What can we do? Whenever possible, give both parents opportunities to put the baby to bed. It is a great opportunity for family bonding time! Once a baby no longer has bedtime struggles and they can put themselves to sleep independently without hours of assistance from a parent, that exact bedtime becomes some of the most precious moments with the baby. Both parents deserve a chance to cherish these moments and bedtime is a great opportunity to fill their love cup, give them extra snuggles and kisses and reconnect with them after a busy day. But the bedtime routine should not need to take two parents to complete. Parents can take turns to do it! When the other parent is in charge, use that opportunity to give yourself some downtime. If a grandparent is visiting, let them get involved. Usually, they love participating in bath and bedtime. This becomes exceptionally valuable once a new sibling arrives. I find that having a toddler accustomed to both parents helps the toddler feel more settled when the new baby arrives. It is very difficult for a toddler who was accustomed to only one parent, now suddenly have that parent unavailable because they are occupied with a newborn. It is obvious to see how this would create doubt and emotional uncertainty in the older toddler. A toddler who is not reliant on a specific parent, won’t feel as put out and the primary parent can make up for that lost time with the toddler in the day. Sometimes, it is good to take a step back and realize that you’re both good at what you do and being tag-team-parents have a host of wonderful benefits. You’ll be surprised at just how much your children will enjoy one-on-one time with each of you. Likewise, just how much rejuvenated you will feel by having a mini break from your baby every other night. By Tammy Buitendach – Good Night Consultant References: www.sleepmatters.ie.org www.sleephealthjournal.org www.mentalhealthandhappiness.com www.verywellfamily.com

July 24, 2023

Meal prep for busy families

Who knew that being a mom or dad meant you would have to come up with delicious meals every day for the rest of your days? Dinner time can be very stressful, yet it can be super easy if you are prepared and organised. What do we know about children’s nutrition? A balanced diet consisting of fruit, vegetables, protein, and grains is the best way. That means that if planned right, you never have to feel guilty by pulling out a pizza from the freezer because your child eats healthy food most nights and days. Here are the steps to weekly meal preparation: Plan a menu It is important to choose things that your family likes. For example, if Spaghetti Bolognaise is a hit, make a batch enough for 3-4 meals. Planning the menu will also ensure that you can shop for the right ingredients so that you don’t have to stop at the shop every couple of days and save money in the long run. Ensure that you have enough containers This is a once-off purchase that you can use time and time again—choosing containers that are freezer friendly. Portion out your meals Make sure that you can take out your meals, and they feed your family with just enough. You will only be able to reheat food that has yet to be reheated. Variety Children love variety, though they don’t mind having the same or similar foods on a specific day. For example, Mondays could be beef day, Tuesdays could be chicken days, and Fridays could be pizza day. While they love variety, they also love predictability. Get the children to help. Children love to assist in the kitchen. They can do age-appropriate chores like mashing potatoes or mixing ingredients. This is a great way to teach your child about healthy eating habits and allow them some bonding time with you. Remember to have fun! Dinner times can often be a time of stress and anxiety, let’s choose to create great memories for our children.

July 18, 2023

Putting together your birth plan

As you enter your third trimester you’ll have probably done a fair bit of research on the birth process (if this is your first) and may have a good idea of what you want before, during and after delivery. There are many options and opinions, from whether or not you want pain medication to how many people you would like supporting you. However, trying to keep track of your choices during labour may be tricky, which is why you’d put together a birth plan. So what exactly is it and how do you put one together? Why should I put together a birth plan? Your birth plan is your choices or preferences before, during and after labour and delivery. While things may not always go according to plan, having your preferences written down and communicated means you, your midwives and doctor have a more mutual understanding. However, if your pregnancy doesn’t go accordingly, you need to be prepared to make adjustments on the day. What should be in my birth plan? Your birth plan is how you’d like everything would go in the best-case scenario. Your birth plan will also have to take into consideration what is available at the hospital or place where you are giving birth. Some birth plans are very basic, just outlining a simple overview, whereas others may be far more detailed and in-depth. The choice is yours. Typically a birth plan will include before, during and after labour and birth preferences. Such as who you want to assist you during birth, whether or not you want any pain medication, you birthing positions, and requests for newborn care, such as skin-to-skin time. How can I learn more about the birth process? If you feel like you need to top up your birthing knowledge before putting together a plan they are a few ways you can go about this. Joining antenatal classes are a good way to learn more and to meet other women in your position. Chatting to friends or family who has been through the birthing process themselves is another good way to see what would work best for you. If you and your partner are having a baby together, keep them in the loop as well. Find out what they expect during labour and you can chat about what you want, and what role you see them playing in the process.

July 17, 2023

Don’t let your child become a statistic

“It will never happen to my child!” – You’re right, but do you want to take the risk? As every loving parent knows, that moment you hold your child, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for them. And no one wants to come up against a ‘Mamma Bear’ when she is defending her child. How do you defend your child when you don’t know what is happening behind that screen? How do you protect your child from predators that can mimic and penetrate themselves into your child’s life? You can keep them away from these dangers however the digital world is playing a more active role in our lives. You can arm them with the skills to spot these dangers before they become a reality. Take a digital adventure with them and help to better prepare them for what may lay ahead. Education is the key. Communication is the magic that brings all of this together. We’ve read the 143-page research paper from Global kids online on South African Kids Online: Barriers, opportunities & risks. This was like reading a terrifying thriller novel that has no end. According to the study, “The internet is beginning to significantly impact all societies in numerous profound and dynamic ways, regardless of location, infrastructure, and economic level. Recent global estimates suggest that one in three internet users is a child and that the proportion of child internet users is likely to be higher in developing countries.” To summarise some interesting points from the report: The report was completed in 3 main provinces, where one in two (48.1%) child participants said that they never or hardly ever spoke to their parents about their internet use. From the child perspective only 42.0% of parents never suggested ways for their children to use the internet safely and 49.1% never spoke to their children about what do if something online bothered or upset them. An alarming 57% of parents admitted that they had never suggested ways to use the internet safely. However, parents did show a deep concern for their children’s online wellbeing in the focus group discussions. Social Kids was born out this very same, shared concern for their own son. You can’t leave it in the hands of the school or have them learn from peers and friends. Codey Crawler was developed to help take children through the online journey and to better prepare them for what may lie ahead. It’s the basics of internet safety and it’s a topic that we can now face together with our children, encouraging them to share their experiences and to create the self-awareness they need to guard their information and privacy. Register today and save! https://bit.ly/3njBqid

July 11, 2023

The benefits of body scrubs: Here’s why you should make them part of your regime

Exfoliation is an important part of any skincare regime, and any expert will tell you that exfoliating weekly or bi-weekly is key to maintaining a healthy, clear complexion. But what about the rest of your body? Despite most of us taking great care to stay on top of our facial exfoliation, many of us treat body scrubs like an indulgent treat rather than a body care staple. If you already use a body scrub in your weekly regime, good for you! You’ll know that is makes all the difference in keeping skin soft and smooth. If you’re not yet convinced, allow us to give you a handful of great reasons why it’s time to start scrubbing. What is a body scrub? Body scrubs are products designed to exfoliate skin. They contain kernels, beads, seeds or other abrasive materials that physically slough off dead skin cells from the surface of the skin. What are the benefits of using a body scrub? The main goal of exfoliating with a scrub is to remove dead and dry skin cells from the surface of the skin. Our skin is constantly regenerating and we shed thousands of microscopic skin cells every day. Some of these fall off naturally, while others collect on the surface of the skin. If not removed properly these dead skin cells can clog pores, resulting in breakouts or blackheads, they can make skin appear dull and they can build up, leading to a rough texture. When you use a body scrub to exfoliate your skin, you’ll remove these cells, resulting in: Fewer breakouts Body acne is usually caused by fluctuating hormones or bacteria from sweat, however, if pores become clogged due to a build-up of dead skin cells, this may also lead to breakouts. Smoother skin Have you ever felt how smooth your skin feels after a scrub? That’s because the dead skin cells that accumulate on the surface may give the skin a rough or uneven texture. Once they’re removed, skin is soft and silky. Brighter skin Dermatologists and skincare therapists will usually recommend exfoliation for patients who are struggling with a dull or ashy complexion. Lacklustre skin may not be as noticeable on the body as it is on the face, but you’ll definitely notice an increase in radiance after a scrub. Improved circulation The physical act of rubbing a scrub on your skin in circular motions increases blood flow and improves circulation. Not only does this improve the skin’s radiance, but it also helps prevent the formation of cellulite. Fewer ingrown hairs If you’re prone to ingrown hairs you’ll know how painful and pesky they can be. Body scrubs can help free the trapped hairs and minimize the appearance of razor burn. How do you use a body scrub? Start off by washing your skin to remove and dirt, debris or sweat, and rinse with lukewarm water. Scoop some body scrub from the tub and gently massage the product into your skin in circular motions. Pay particular attention to areas that are prone to rough skin, like the feet and ankles, knees and elbows. If you find the texture too rough on your hands, you can use an exfoliating mitten or sponge. Rinse with lukewarm water and pat skin dry. Follow with your favourite body moisturiser. Do this once or twice a week for softer, smoother luminous skin. What type of scrub is best? Scrubs and exfoliators came under scrutiny a few years back when it was discovered that the synthetic microbeads found in many of them were contaminating the ocean and were even found inside of dead fish. It’s really important to choose a scrub that contains natural ingredients and that is free from plastic or synthetic microbeads. Not only are these bad for your skin (they can be very harsh and cause micro cuts) but they are also bad for the planet. Sugar and salt are two of the most commonly used abrasives in natural body scrubs. Sugar is by far the superior option: its granules are smaller and it is less abrasive than salt. Suitable for use on sensitive skins, sugar scrubs are much gentler, without skimping on efficacy. Salt granules, on the other hand, are larger in size and have sharper edges, making it more abrasive on the skin. Tree Hut is known for their award-winning, best-selling Shea Sugar Scrubs (R395.00), and South Africans are finally able to get their hands on these sought-after products as they’re now available for purchase locally! Made from shea butter and sugar, these body scrubs transform skin with the aid of natural ingredients. They’re free from synthetic ingredients like parabens and sulphates and contain a special blend of six oils to nourish, hydrate and soften skin. And their scents? They’re out of this world! Available in a major variety from classic (the crow-pleasers like Moroccan Rose and Coconut Lime) to destination-inspired (think Coco Colada and Tropic Glow) and solution-driven (the likes of Vitamin C and Pineapple). Whether you’re a scrub fanatic or you’re new to the idea, Tree Hut’s range of Shea Sugar Scrubs will transform your body scrub regime and leave your skin feeling and looking great. About Tree Hut Tree Hut believes that that everyone deserves to take time in their day to feel good and their products are designed to elevate your daily beauty rituals. With Tree Hut you can transform a simple hygiene routine into an indulgent self-care session thanks to their feel-good, filled-with-goodness product range. Ready for a feel good glow from head to toe? Sweeten your self-care routine with Tree Hut’s affordable, quality body care products and make every day a spa day. SHOP www.medhealthsup.com and visit www.treehutshea.com for more information. Follow Tree Hut on social media: Facebook: Tree Hut South Africa Instagram: @treehut_southafrica

July 10, 2023

Retailer Alerts of Dangers of Buying Second-Hand Baby Goods

The second-hand infant goods market in South Africa is rapidly growing, providing much-needed affordable products and financial relief for families across the country who are struggling with the rising cost of living. First-time parents in South Africa spend on average upwards of R100,000 a year to raise a child and nursery set-up costs alone surge to more than R5,000. Despite the financial reprieve of purchasing second hand items, Babies R Us advises caution when purchasing some second-hand baby goods as they may have been recalled or are unsafe. The second-hand infant goods market is estimated to be worth around a billion rand with the primary buyers in South Africa from low-income families. Most purchased second hand items include clothes, toys, furniture, and equipment. According to a report last year by Mercari in the United States, 62 percent of parents purchased second-hand baby and kid products last year, with 58.7 percent of those surveyed doing so to save money. “As a retailer we understand parents are always looking for ways to save money when it comes to purchasing baby items, such as clothes, toys, and furniture,” she adds. “Unfortunately, buying some second-hand baby goods can have serious consequences for your child’s safety and health.” “There are a number of challenges in the second-hand infant goods market,” according to Catherine Jacoby, Marketing Manager at Babies r Us. “The primary being the lack of regulation and meeting safety standards which means it is difficult to ensure the quality and safety of the products.” She explains that South Africa does not have its own set of safety standards in place to regulate many infant related products, specifically those that are produced locally. “It’s not just about safety standards though, there’s a growing global concern of products being sold in the second-hand market that have been recalled for safety reasons.” According to a report by Kids in Danger, a non-profit organisation focused on children’s product safety, last year, the United States had the highest number of children’s product recalls since 2013 impacting everything from baby products to kids’ clothes and toys. Nursery products, items like strollers and baby swings, accounted for over half of the more than 5 million units of children’s products recalled in 2022 alone, the report found. By way of example she adds, the U.S Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is currently calling on Meta and a well-respected manufacturer to recall a product being sold on Facebook Marketplace. The item in question has been linked to the deaths of approximately 100 infants which was recalled in 2019 ten years after it had been on the market. It is estimated that there are still over a million still in circulation having not been returned which are now being sold on sites like Facebook Marketplace. “Every parent wants their baby to be safe, but once the market is flooded with an unsafe product, it’s hard to bring it back,” she says. “Infant products make their way onto second hand sites, they’re in day-cares, at charitable organisations and have even been handed down to family members.” Jacoby notes however, that although it’s totally fine to buy second-hand for some products like clothes, some toys and even furniture, not every product can be safely bought second hand as some of these items are not subjected to the same safety standards as new items. “Experts advise that items like car seats, highchairs, strollers and cots should be bought new to ensure they meet the current safety standards and haven’t been recalled, don’t have any peeling paint, chips, or missing parts. “This ensures that the product is safety checked, you are notified if there are any issues with it and you can be assured of the safety of the product,” she explains. Additionally, Jacoby adds, used baby items may contain bacteria or viruses, which can cause serious illnesses in infants. It is important to clean and inspect them thoroughly before allowing your child to use them. “Our advice to parents is to research the products you are buying second hand, keep an eye out for great deals on new items and if you’re purchasing second hand items ensure you clean and inspect them properly,” she concludes. For more information visit: www.babiesrus.co.za

July 10, 2023

What to expect in the early days after the birth of your baby

First-time moms are often anxious about what to expect after bringing baby home for the first time. During those precious first few days you may experience a rollercoaster of emotions. There’s the pure joy of finally having baby in your arms, the excitement of what’s to come, the stress and anxiety over whether or not you’re doing everything correctly and of course the pure exhaustion that comes with sleepless nights.

July 4, 2023

Buying Second-Hand Baby Items – What you should and shouldn’t do

From strollers and cribs to clothes and diapers, the amount of stuff your little one requires can add up quickly. To cut costs, many parents-to-be scour the internet for used baby gear and welcome hand-me-downs. According to a survey conducted by Everyday Health Group, 66 percent of new or expecting moms report having bought second-hand baby gear. This money-saving technique is especially common among Gen Z with 76 percent of Gen Z respondents saying they’ve purchased second-hand baby gear, compared to only 63 percent of Millennial and 55 percent of Gen X respondents. Buying used baby gear or accepting hand-me-downs from friends and family can save money — but not everything is safe to use twice. Experts in all things baby, Babies R Us provides some useful tips on what you can reuse or buy second-hand, and what you should buy new. According to Catherine Jacoby, Marketing Manager at Babies R Us, “It’s important to only choose safety approved and tested products. “The benefit of buying these sorts of products whether new or used is that you will know if the product is reliable, you can check if there have been any recalls, the product has been assessed for possible hazards, the materials used are safe and the risks are minimised.” Car safety seats: Experts say you should try to avoid buying or borrowing a used car seat. It is important that you are aware of the seat’s entire history. She suggests asking questions around accident damage, checking the number for any recalls and whether the seat comes with the original manual. “If you are considering a used car seat, look for the label that includes model name, number and manufacturing expiration dates. In South Africa it should have the standard specification SABS 1340 and bear the certification mark,” she adds. “Car seats expire, typically between 6 to 8 years so ensure you understand when the item was bought and check manufacturing details on the label.” Playpens and portable cots: Find out if it was made after 2013, the latest safety updates were issued in 2012. “If you purchase a second-hand one, consider purchasing a new mattress to ensure safety and make sure the mesh has no tears and holes are smaller than 0.5cm. Strollers and prams: If you’re buying second-hand check when the stroller or pram was made, if it was after 2015, they are ok to reuse. “Safety standards have changed since then to address stability, impact and shoulder strap safety,” Jacoby says. “Look for broken or missing parts, check that it is sturdy, and you should ensure it has an instruction manual.” Highchairs: Safety standards require a highchair to have a five-point harness to prevent climbing out and a fixed crotch post so the baby can’t slide out and avoid highchairs with removable trays or arms that lift over the baby’s head. Jacoby cautions that if a second-hand highchair does not have these in place, you should consider purchasing new. Are used cots safe? The short answer she says, is no. “It’s advised that you do not buy a used crib. New rules for how cribs are made were instituted in 2011 and essentially this means that most cots sold before that date are obsolete and technically unsafe. “Research suggests that drop-side cots have been found to be particularly dangerous so much so that in the United States they are no longer allowed to be sold,” she explains. “Rather buy a new crib that meets new safety standards and if you can’t afford one rather purchase a portable one which is more cost-effective.” Toys and other furniture: There’s nothing wrong with buying any additional furniture like rocking chairs or changing tables for your nursery second-hand. My advice Jacoby says is to check that the items don’t have any peeling paint, chips or missing parts. “When buying second-hand toys or accepting hand-me-downs, be sure to check if any items have been recalled due to defects or safety concerns,” she adds. “It’s important that you clean and sterilise all second-hand items before handing them to your child.” “All parents want the best for their children, if you’re ever unsure about an item it is worth discussing it with an expert who will guide you,” Jacoby says. “Our team of baby experts at Babies R Us are enthusiastic, knowledgeable and willing to assist you on your parenting journey.” “We are constantly finding ways to make infant products more affordable without compromising on quality or safety standards,” she adds. “It’s always a good idea to keep an eye out for seasonal or sale specials which also assists in making these items a little lighter on the pocket.” For more information visit: www.babiesrus.co.za

July 3, 2023

Due soon? What to include in your hospital bag

With your due date fast approaching, this is a very exciting, yet stressful time for most moms to be. Here is a great list of what to pack for the big day! Ideally, you should have your bag ready to go by 36 to 37weeks, apart from the last minute grabs such as your tooth brush and phone charger. Please see our extensive list of the essential items and also items to make you feel more comfortable for mom and baby (and dad, of course!) Baby Car seat – Many hospitals won’t let you leave without one. Please make sure you know how to strap baby properly into the seat and the seat is secure in the car. Safety first! A going home outfit: It’s important to keep baby skin to skin (this means no clothes on baby; only a nappy) for as long as possible, as this promotes growth, bonding and a calming period for you and your baby. When it’s time to go home, pack different outfits in different sizes as you don’t know how big or small baby will be. Aim for an outfit in Newborn sizes, and 0-3 months. Don’t forget a beanie or socks if the weather is cold. Blankets or Muslin wrap to keep baby nice and cosy. Bottles – If you are going into the hospital knowing you are going to bottle feed, take your bottles with. The hospital usually supplies the formula, but if you have a preferred brand, take some along. If breastfeeding doesn’t work for you, don’t stress! The nurses will provide the bottles and formula. Nappies and wipes to keep baby clean and dry. The nurses in the hospital will show you how to change baby if you are a first time mom. Mom Your medical aid information, your pre authorization/ doctors forms, your ID card and all other important documents you may need. Keep this safely in a folder all together to avoid any stress. A robe or dressing gown – This is such a handy item to have to cover up and make you feel comfortable Pyjama’s that button down at the front – If you are breastfeeding it’s a lot easier to undo the buttons than lift your top continuously. Comfortable, soft and loose pants such as lights weight shorts, stretchy leggings or sleep pants are ideal. Maternity pads and disposable breast pads. Nursing bras are also wonderful and offers great support for breastfeeding moms. Slippers or slip in shoes. Your feet may be a little swollen after delivery, so don’t feel bad leaving the hospital in the snuggest and easiest pair of shoes you can slip into. Slipper socks also work great. Cotton underwear, preferably in a dark or black colour. One that fits you well but rises above the uterus. This is good for moms who have a caesarean section and natural birth as it offers support and doesn’t cause pain along the wound site. Nipple cream – If you’re planning on breastfeeding, your nipples will be happy you are being so proactive. Toiletries – You will want to brush your hair and have a shower after baby has arrived. Take your shampoo, face cream, lotion and body wash, as well as your toothbrush and toothpaste. Deodorant, lip balm and extra hair ties are also a great items to have on hand. Cell phone charger – Because your phone will be full of photos of your new addition to your family. Water bottle and snacks. Take a reusable water bottle as its very important to keep hydrated during and post-delivery. Snack on dried fruit and wine gums to keep your sugar up and to give you energy (with permission from your midwife or doctor of course) A magazine or book, your laptop or some music. Labour may sometimes become a little long. It’s good to keep busy. Most hospitals and birthing clinics supply towels, pillows and blankets. If you have a favourite, take yours along to the hospital. A set of clothes to go home in. Your make up bag and straightener or curling iron. While you won’t be focused on looking great during labour, you may want to take some photos after the birth of your little one. Get someone to help you and make you feel good about yourself (and the great work you’ve just done!) Dad/Birthing partner Camera – Take photos! Lots of them. This is a great job for dad to do during birth. It will make them feel a lot more involved. Snacks: Another great job for dad. Full his bag with plenty of snacks and treats that you can both enjoy during your stay. Comfortable clothes – As he may be sitting with you for quite some time, let him pack some tracksuit pants, t shirts, slippers and hoodies. Extra underwear is also a winner if he is staying overnight. Chargers – For phones, laptops and cameras. The longer the wire, the better, as most plug outlets are likely to be far from you. Toiletries – He may want to freshen up during the course of your stay. Many private hospitals offer you a baby bag when you are admitted for delivery. This is a great item and will contain most, if not all baby’s toiletries such as soap and creams. If you forget something, it’s not the end of the world. The nurses may be able to help or someone can go to the shop for you. All baby ideally needs is a clean nappy, milk, and most importantly, you.

July 3, 2023

Why teach your children to be a team player?

A team player is constantly reliable day in and day out, not just some of the time. You can count on them to get the job done, meet deadlines, keep their word and provide consistent quality work. Learning to work in a team is undoubtedly one of the most important skills that one can learn and has been identified as a crucial component of 21st century learning. As a result, many schools and curricula have placed a renewed emphasis on group-work and collaboration to equip students with these vital skills. The elements of being a team player are varied and great in number. The trust factor is undeniably at the heart of all things related to teamwork. Having the faith to delegate tasks and allowing individuals the freedom to make decisions requires a great degree of trust. It boils down to putting your fate and that of the team’s in the hands of others. Other vital components include commitment to the team-goal, selflessness and an ability to compromise. Ultimately, it is about putting the group ahead of yourself. Consequently, it remains my firm belief that the sports field remains one of the most effective “classrooms” in terms of learning to be a team player. Having to cope with the teams expectations and being responsible for motivating your teammates while having to cope with your own inner doubts are daunting at the best of times. These demands are often magnified by the fact that the sporting contest often takes place in the public arena thereby increasing the fear of failure. Unsurprisingly many of our strongest and most character building memories revolve around these sporting moments be they making the last-ditch tackle to stop a try, scoring the winning goal or consoling a teammate after their mistake cost the team. These moments often have an impact on our self-confidence and character long after the occasion has passed and often serve to inspire us to even greater things. It is undeniable that being part of a team does leave one vulnerable as it takes the individual out of their comfort zone. This aspect makes teamwork both challenging and rewarding. To celebrate an achievement brought about by a united effort remains one of the greatest sensations and allows us a bonding experience with our fellow people that is irreplaceable. It remains my firm belief that teamwork remains one of humanity’s greatest assets and its unlimited potential will undoubtedly be vital in overcoming our political, economic and social challenges that currently beset our world. By: Farone Eckstein, Principal of Trinityhouse High Randpark Ridge

June 30, 2023

WHY YOUR TEEN NEEDS PRIVACY

As parents we feel a certain pride when our teens stake out their rights to more and more autonomy. After all, it’s a natural and necessary evolution from childhood to adulthood, a signifier that our ‘child is alright’ and that we are doing a ‘good enough’ job at parenting. However, as our teens carve out more independence for themselves in a world complicated by a vast digital realm that holds both known and unknown dangers, many parents are feeling compelled to put safety first in ways that can compromise their child’s privacy. Why is privacy so important to teens? Adolescence, the transition from childhood to adulthood, is marked by developing independence and identity. Lekha Daya, a Counselling Psychologist and Senior Psychologist for the Panda app, a provider of free and low-cost mental healthcare in South Africa, says, “Teens are looking to the future and exploring the possibilities of the adult they will become. Some space from parents and their family, as they take charge of their own narrative for the first time and look outwards to fitting into society at large, is to be expected. The freedom to explore and experiment with different facets of identity goes hand-in-hand with a need for greater privacy as they navigate their unique sense of independence of thought and behaviour.” Many parents innately recognise and understand this important psycho-social development stage and they have no difficulties in respecting their teens’ need for privacy and clearer boundaries. However, the challenge of keeping teens safe online is presenting a conundrum for many parents, especially those who are actively cultivating trust-based relationships with their increasingly independent children. Mother and tech innovator, Rachelle Best, the founder of AI-based app FYI play it safe, says, “As a parent of a 15 year old daughter, it was unacceptable for me to be scrolling through her online chats. This type of device checking is too invasive, and it erodes trust and happiness in the parent-child relationship. That was my inspiration for the development of a non-invasive monitoring tool that balances the need to protect my daughter while still respecting her right to privacy.” Trusting your teen makes an impact on their development Affording your child privacy is an act of both love and trust which promotes their healthy development. Daya says, “Trusting your teen means you trust them to make good decisions, behave appropriately, and decide what information they need or want to share with you and others. Trust goes both ways. Your child needs to trust that you respect their right to have privacy and a say in decisions about their life. When you and your child have mutual trust, you’ll have better communication. Your child will also be more likely to come to you when they need help. Teens’ development can be positively influenced by a trusting relationship with parents and caregivers as it encourages a growth mindset and builds confidence in their own abilities and sense of responsibility.” A question that parents might ask themselves is: How much privacy is appropriate? Daya suggests a ‘need to know’ yardstick. She explains, “There are some things you need to know, such as where your child is going to be on Saturday night, how they’re getting there and back, and whether there’ll be alcohol or adult supervision. But there are other things that can be private between your child and their friends – for example, what they talked about at a party, or who they danced with.” Practical ways to respect your child’s privacy include: Knocking before going into their room Giving them space to talk with their friends Asking before looking in or getting things out of their school bag Daya says, “It can also help to discuss privacy with your child, set some ground rules and work out some boundaries. These can be changed as your child gets older. You might also want to talk about situations where you’d need to cross the agreed boundaries. For example, this could be when you’re really worried that something isn’t right with your child.” Child’s privacy no-no’s include: Listening to their telephone conversations Looking at things in their room or in their drawers Reading their diary or checking their email account ‘Friending’ them or communicating with them on social media if they don’t want you to Calling them to check on them all the time Balancing privacy and online safety Best recommends a high-quality level of communication with your teen around online safety is the best starting point in protecting them. The conversation about online safety needs to be ongoing, as the digital landscape is ever-changing. Parents have to keep up and be well-educated about risks, trends, digital spaces available to their child and content that they could access. A lack of this knowledge will inevitably lead to anxiety and fears of the unknown and acting in unhelpful ways that your teen may resist, which will in turn erode goodwill in your relationship. The FYI play it safe app continuously stays updated with the ongoing changes and risks, so parents don’t have to know everything all the time. To keep your children safer online, FYI play it safe recommends: Understanding age restrictions on the applications your child uses to give an indication of the type of content that they may encounter. Going through the Ts and Cs of the apps – the apps may seem innocent at first, but you also have to ensure you agree with what the apps are allowed to do with your child’s data and pictures. Activating full privacy settings – this include deactivating location settings, making sure that accounts are always set to “private” instead of public accounts and that strangers are not able to sent them direct messages. Setting up agreed screen time parameters for the family – this could be part of a digital contract between parents and their teens. Making use of parental controls and content filtering. This is a good way to filter content to ensure they don’t encounter anything that is not appropriate for their age. Modelling good digital habits Talking about online safety continuously Add a layer of protection through non-invasive device monitoring Drawing

June 29, 2023

COULD THIS BE ADHD?

With home-schooling becoming the new norm, many parents are now faced with seeing their children in a different role as a student, and they have been forced into becoming the, often ill-equipped, teacher. Some parents are finding this incredibly difficult, and especially those whose children are not getting on with the schoolwork with as much ease as they’d expect.

June 28, 2023

NIGHT TERRORS

Most parents will be woken at least once in their child’s life, to their little one screaming and crying from having a bad dream. Nightmares are especially prevalent in children who are between two and three years of age, as their imagination runs wild. Children want to be comforted during this time and even though it might take them a bit of time to let go of the scary thoughts and fall back asleep they will be comforted by the presence of a parent.

June 28, 2023

DO CHILDREN STILL NEED STRONG MENTAL AGILITY WHEN THEY CAN RELY ON TECHNOLOGY?

With calculators, spell-checkers and predictive text now being a common feature on computers and mobile phones, will today’s children still need strong mental skills to get by? Using technological software may be quick and easy, but there are real disadvantages that come when a child is so dependent on online assistance; namely, they will lack mental agility, fluency and accuracy, and they probably won’t be using their brain to its full capacity. Everyday tasks as simple as checking they’ve received the right change, or working out ratios of ingredients when preparing meals, require mental calculations which a child reliant on technology could struggle with. A student who looks to spell-checker to ensure the accuracy of their work will struggle when completing it offline; they’ll be marked down for inaccuracy during handwritten exams, or perhaps they know an answer but their poor spelling lets them down because the examiner is unable to understand their intention. Looking to the future, strong mental arithmetic and literacy skills are important in whatever career a child chooses to pursue, and are still noticed and sought after by most employers. A child who has these abilities will feel more confident and at ease in the workplace. In addition to all of the above, reading and writing, and solving mathematical calculations exercises the brain and keeps it healthy. The brain is a muscle, and like the other muscles in the body, it needs to be exercised and stimulated regularly to stay healthy and keep functioning at its optimum. Dr Ryuta Kawashima is a professor at Tohoku University in Japan and he is a leader in the field of Brain Imaging in Japan. He has conducted numerous experiments and research to discover what activities activate and stimulate the brain and what activities don’t. One activity that Dr Kawashima discovered that is excellent for stimulating the brain is performing mathematical calculations regularly, even simple ones. He conducted research to find out which activity exercised the brain more: playing very complex video games, or solving mathematical calculations of adding one digit numbers to each other e.g. 1 + 2 + 5 + 3 + 6 etc. Although at the outset he was sure that the video games would activate the brain more, when he measured activity using MRI scans, he saw that video games actually stimulated the brain very little, but that the arithmetical calculations had the brain firing on all cylinders. This surprising finding urged Dr Kawashima into further research and he has shown that mathematical calculations stimulate the brain, help to lay down neural pathways and keep the brain from degenerating. Dr Kawashima has this to say, “The prefrontal cortex, the area for thinking and learning, of both hemispheres [of the brain] is active during simple calculation. Dealing with numbers is an important and sophisticated activity for human beings. … From primary school to college, simple calculation triggers brain activity. … Calculation is extremely helpful in training and developing your brain.” (p.34). Another activity that is vital for the brain is reading, especially reading out loud. Through his research, Dr Kawashima has found that when reading, many parts of both sides of the brain, as well as the prefrontal cortex (the most important place in the brain for thinking and learning) are activated. (p.26). Reading out loud activates the brain even more than reading silently. This can be a useful tip when it comes to studying. Reading work out loud can help a learner to remember it better. Mental agility skills do take time to develop and improve but through practice they will make all the difference! How can you encourage the development of these skills in your child? Turn everyday experiences into learning opportunities – when shopping, ask your child to work out how much your bill will cost before you get to the checkout, and have them look at the receipt afterwards to check it’s correct. Have a weekly spelling bee at home or a times tables challenge – competitions and rewards are good incentives to encourage children to learn and make learning fun. When reading with your child, ensure they are familiar with all the words on the page and get them to write and spell out new words. Encourage your child to write regularly as this offers opportunities to spell. Through this, you’ll be able to see spellings they struggle with, and employ tracing, mnemonics and/or other strategies to help them improve. At Kumon, we aim to foster independent learners through our maths and English programmes. Our students do not rely on calculators, dictionaries or coping strategies to advance through their study; instead they are encouraged to become self-learners who develop in academic ability and skill with each worksheet they complete. Through daily practice our students develop in understanding, fluency and pace, allowing them to advance to more complexed work. If you’re interested in enrolling your child to Kumon, visit our website www.kumon.co.za to find your nearest study centre and contact your local Instructor for more information. Sources for this article: https://www.kumon.co.uk/blog/do-children-still-need-strong-mental-agility-when-then-can-rely-on-technology/ Kawashima, R. 2003. Train Your Brain. Kumon Publishing Co, Ltd. Tokyo, Japan Kawashima, R. and Koizumi, H. ed. 2003. Learning Therapy. Tohoku University Press. Sendai, Japan

June 26, 2023

All You Need to Know About Speech Therapists

Speech therapists, speech and language therapists and speech pathologists all refer to the same scope of practice. In South Africa, we study a 4 year Bachelor of Science degree at university followed by 1 year of community service at a government hospital or health care facility. It is a requirement that we register with the Health Professionals Council of South Africa (HPCSA). Thereafter, we can work in the public or private sector.

June 23, 2023

WHY CRASH COURSES ON BABY SLEEP DON’T WORK

I have been assisting families with implementing sleep plans for many years and as it so happens that I am assisting the same families again with their second or third children. Often, the question comes up: “Why does the same plan of my first child not work with the other children? There is truth when I say: “Every child is different!”

June 23, 2023

Tips on raising a bilingual child

Knowing how to speak more than one language is a wonderful gift – particularly when living in such a diverse country like South Africa! But how should you go about doing this? Well here are some tips on raising a bilingual child from Clamber Club Expert and Speech and Language Therapist, Savannah Senior: Start early. Children can pick up and absorb languages astonishingly fast. Before the ages of 3-4 years old is the best time to teach your child a new language. The earlier, the better!! Research shows that if we are not exposed to certain sounds early on, it becomes much harder to hear and pronounce them. Don’t mix languages i.e. use only one language at a time. Languages all have their own special characteristics – their own grammar, sounds, pronunciations and structure. When we mix languages, we mix all these characteristics and it will make it more difficult for your child to distinguish between them and learn them. Natural environments are best. You don’t need to use classroom-style teaching to learn a new language. The best way to teach your child a second, third or even fourth language is to use it in your everyday activities and play. Research has shown that children pick up languages faster in this way. Fluency is key. Your child will only really master a language when they are exposed to someone who speaks fluently, on a regular basis. Sometimes they will mess up! It is expected to sometimes confuse vocabulary or word order when learning multiple languages. Remember to not make this into a deal and to remind them it is okay to make mistakes. You can also repeat the phrase or sentence back to your child so they learn the correct vocabulary and word order. So, let’s get chatting! Bye bye; Totsiens; Uhambe Kahle; Sala hantle; Famba Kahle; Au Revoir; Auf Wiedersehen; Tchau Tchau; Ciao Ciao………

June 19, 2023

The Dad Factor – involved fathers make a difference

We often tell the legacies of our fathers in the fond stories of what we learnt about life from them. Positive, involved fathers help us to live a life driven by values, and guided by tried-and-true principles. Many fathers adeptly play the roles of coach and motivator, encouraging their children to focus on goals and to develop persistence and resilience in the face of life’s challenges. In the modern world of working parents, fathers have broken out of the restrictions of being sole breadwinners, freeing them to make more contributions to childcare and development. Involved fathers tend to develop deeper relationships and have stronger emotional bonds with their children. They enjoy a more fulfilling parenting experience while children benefit in innumerable, long-lasting ways from their father’s consistent affection and attention. However, South Africa is a country with a systemic crisis of fathering that goes hand-in-hand with its high levels of gender-based violence. It is estimated that around 70% of South African children are growing up in single-parent homes, and 4 out of 5 boys are growing up without positive male role models in their lives. Jaco van Schalkwyk, Founder and Director of The Character Company (TCC), a non-profit organisation offering a mentorship programme for fatherless boys says, “This Father’s Day it is important to celebrate all the amazing involved dads in South Africa, as well as to recognise that we are a society where broken masculinity is unfortunately, prevalent across our communities. Growing up without a healthy connection to a positive father or male role model has a staggering impact on too many of our boys. Fathers play an important role in helping their sons navigate masculinity and gender identity. Sons can learn emotional intelligence from their fathers and how to properly regulate themselves and constructively express their emotions. Direct exposure to adult men who act as wise guides can help growing boys develop a healthy sense of identity.” Research also shows that fatherless boys may be more vulnerable to: Fear of abandonment and sense of loss Sadness, anxiety and depression Poor social connections and relationship-building skills Behavioural issues Poor academic performance Substance abuse Exposure to crime and gangsterism Many of these impacts will change the course of a boy’s life, and the psychological effects may last a lifetime. Van Schalkwyk continues, “The cards are stacked against a fatherless boy. Of course, not all of them will under-achieve or take a wrong path to adulthood. There are many boys raised by single mothers who will turn out well and will one day become positive parents themselves despite the lack of a father’s love and involvement. But others will unfortunately, perpetuate the generational cycles of broken masculinity.” TCC harnesses the power of male volunteers for its activity-based mentorship programme which pairs fatherless boys with MENtors. Currently, 250 boys around the country are assigned to 55 vetted adult male volunteers. An outdoors focus helps to promote physical activity, life skills and healthy lifestyles. The boys benefit from exposure to living a values-based life and exploring life challenges and issues under the guidance of adult men in safe and contained spaces. Van Schalkwyk says, “The programme provides vital opportunities for boys to learn from men – about positive masculinity and the contributions of men to society. The programme’s strong values set high expectations and provides secure boundaries where the boys can gain skills, practice self-regulation and work towards self-mastery. In the absence of fathers in their lives, this chance to develop meaningful relationships with TCC MENtors empowers them by providing caring contact with male role models who are emotionally intelligent, consistent in their actions and true to their commitments. Our TCC MENtors step up and be part of ‘the villages’ that we need to raise all our children well. For South African men looking to make a difference to our country, getting involved in supporting and mentoring fatherless boys is a gift that is going to last a lifetime. They will never be forgotten by these boys. Even though they won’t be able to tell stories about what they learnt from their fathers, they will still have a heartfelt story to tell about what they learnt from their MENtor.” Find out how to volunteer as TCC mentor here Learn more about The Character Company

June 15, 2023

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