Advice from the experts
Parenting Hub

Stop The Flu, Before It Stops You!

There’s nothing worse than having the whole family down with a cold or the flu, so here’s some helpful tips from Clicks Pharmacist Waheed Abdurahman to help you get through this winter hassle-free. Get the flu jab – The flu vaccination can be effective even administered as late as July. It’s really a case of better late than never! Avoidance – Try to stay away from those who are sick. If you are the sick one, rather take the day off work and stay at home until you are better. Keep it clean – Wash your hands with soap and water and cover up when you cough or sneeze. If you do get the flu, it’s best to treat systematically: Remember to drink plenty of fluids; Cover your nose and mouth when coughing or sneezing, and keep your hands clean with a waterless hand sanitiser; Use a humidifier to thin the air and improve breathing; Gargling with salt water may soothe a sore throat; and Get plenty of rest to give your body the best chance of recovery. Stock up on the following flu relief essentials: Decongestants or a nasal inhaler may provide comforting relief for congested nasal passages. Antihistamines are helpful for sneezing and a runny nose. Throat lozenges to soothe a sore throat. Pain relievers to help reduce severity of pain and fever. Cough medicines to combat a dry or wet cough. Probiotics if your doctor has put you on antibiotics, should you get a secondary infection.

Parenting Hub

How To Teach Your Child To Be More Responsible

Starting with the small things will make the big things easier to handle. When our children are in a hurry and they open a granola bar and miss the trash when tossing the wrapper, it leaves us with two choices. We can request they do it properly, or we can toss it in for them because they are watching their favourite movie at the moment. Maybe they were well-behaved that day and we don’t want to bother them about this one small transgression. If we don’t summon them back we have reinforced their poor behaviour and broken our own rules. By inviting our children to redo the chore properly regardless of what it is they are doing, we will be encouraging them to do tasks correctly the first time. You are teaching them habits that will serve them at school and in the community. The message hasn’t harmed them or demeaned them in any way. When there is responsibility, children learn self-reliance and independence which builds confidence. We have to fervently implement the directions for what we seek to manage. This takes time and effort but we are rewarded with easier children to manage. It is difficult when parents disagree on discipline methods. . When mom and dad disagree about discipline techniques, it causes fights and undisciplined children.  Never argue the rules in front of the children. The children will pounce on a weak link as far as a certain rule is concerned. This will promote unruly children who are manipulating the rules, and parents who spend more time discussing rather than acting. Parents need to negotiate between themselves and then follow the practices agreed upon. Encouraging our children to comply with the guidelines is the last step. Unless we are in agreement, our children will take advantage of our conflicting views, and do whatever they want until parents agree. Children might set one parent against the other when parents are divorced. If the child is excited about going someplace with one parent, the other parent feels the competition. Children remember the feelings of love that they spent with us far more than the silly trinkets or day trips. Just sitting and listening, talking, hugging, going to a park, and kissing our child more often is critical. We are not divorced from our kids and we must continue to parent. Parenting is the finest and most honourable job in the world. We need to value all children. Our kids are a reflection of us and we hold the power to produce something worthwhile. We can’t ignore kids. Effort is necessary if we expect them to flourish. If simply stated, it takes a lot of time, determination consistency and effort. We love our kids but they can be difficult and trying especially when we are in a bad mood or had a horrible day ourselves. Discipline requires effort and consistency. We can’t preach how to behave one minute and then make disobedience acceptable the next minute. If we don’t want children jumping on beds, then that’s the rule. If we allow it to happen when our children have friends over for a visit, then we have broken the rules. With divorce there are 4 disciplinarians and fairness becomes more difficult. Still it helps to agree on certain terms for the kids’ sake.

Parenting Hub

How To Help Your Child Form Healthy Habits

“Good discipline requires time. When we have no time to give our children, or no time we are willing to give, we don’t even observe them closely enough to become aware of when their need for our disciplinary assistance is expressed subtly.” M. Scott Peck Disciplining with love, time and effort is the most crucial thing we can learn if we want compassionate empathetic and loving children. It takes stamina to explain how spiteful their behaviours were. Making analogies to past events, allows the child to comprehend why their deeds were unacceptable. It also allows them to appreciate situations, and reasons parents are upset in the first place. By observing what is unworthy, they learn what is vital. I don’t think it is relevant to criticize a child in front of others. We might take a child aside or into a quiet private area and resolve the issue. We must be good observers, and pay attention to our child’s actions, well before an issue arises. What transpires before a skirmish is important to know. Kids can’t always explain in words, how things happened. An earlier conflict they suffered might make them retaliate at a later time. As parents, we may only be privy to the current upsetting conduct. By treating kids with respect, we give them the chance of explaining why they did something cruel.  We teach by explaining how they might have handled it. Nobody needs to be destroyed physically or emotionally. I remember one parent always stating it hurt her ears when her child screamed.  Her child was quick to stop when she’d mention this during a screaming match. Another parent softly spoke to her child and stated, “When the yelling stops we can talk.” She always made it a priority when the child was ready. The child had the power to dictate the time, but the parent had the control to dictate the terms which the child had to follow. This gave the child ownership of the situation, and the next step. When the child has ownership of their actions, they take the responsibility of accepting the consequences. The last thing parents want to do is be on opposite sides regarding discipline. We need to compromise. Agree to the rules and then do not argue with each other in front of the children. The children will pounce on a weak link as far as a certain rule is concerned. This will promote unruly children who are making the rules, and parents who spend more time in discussing what should be done instead of acting on it. We can’t preach how to behave one minute and then make disobedience acceptable the next minute. If we don’t want children jumping on beds, then that’s the regulation. If we allow it to happen when our children have friends over for a visit, then we have broken the rules. Our instructions are no longer valid. What we sow we reap. Teaching a peaceful way of living is important. Let them know that you will always love them unconditionally, regardless of any mistakes they make.  Model a peaceful way of living by your actions.  Being a good parent requires diligence attentiveness and love. When love is always at the forefront of discipline we will not hurt our children emotionally or physically. We will be attuned to their feelings. They understand so much more than we give them credit. Talking and explaining is best.

Parenting Hub

Sleep Training The Gentle Way

Most sleep deprived parents will be ready to try anything to get a good night’s sleep. Most likely you are holding onto the hope that you can change your little ones unhealthy sleep habits without resorting to letting him cry.The good news is that sleep training does not have to mean leaving your baby to cry for hours on end on his own. All methods of sleep training entail some fussing and crying. You are teaching your baby a new skill and breaking old expectations. While some crying is unavoidable the ‘Crying it out’ method is not advisable, as it can make your baby feel abandoned and emotionally insecure. The goal of sleep training is not only to teach your baby to sleep through the night but: To teach your baby to fall asleep independently and to put himself back to sleep should he wake during the night. Because babies pass through light sleep states every 45 minutes at night (up to an hour in toddlers), it is not possible to prevent your baby stirring at night (due to sleep cycles) but it is possible for you to teach your baby to go back to sleep without your assistance.  This means that you will give him a chance to see if he can put himself to sleep (or back to sleep).you do not leave your baby on his own for long periods of time and by portraying a message of consistency and confidence your baby will feel secure not abandoned. When controlled crying for sleep training is done in the correct manner to meet your child’s needs on all levels, especially his emotional needs, there should be no negative effects whatsoever – in fact a well-rested child with well-rested parents plays an important part of creating a loving and secure home. Have the courage to be firm, without guilt or fear that your baby will resent or love you less. Before you start: Decide on an appropriate time to begin Rule out medical causes of night waking Ensure your baby’s diet is adequate for his age, with sufficient milk and age appropriate solid food Your baby’s sleep zone must support sleep and be a consistent and calming environment. Encourage a  comfort object (dummy, soft toy) A consistent bedtime routine is an excellent way of preparing your baby for sleep. If you are both working, arrange for a days leave on either end of your weekend, to allow consistent time to change the unhealthy sleep habits. Try to rest during the day as it essential that you are rested for the night ahead.  If you are not prepared, you will be more likely to give up or be inconsistent out of sheer exhaustion. If possible, take shifts with your partner to allow you to have some undisturbed sleep somewhere along the line to recharge! If you have other children or demands, try to elicit help and support from other care-givers for the first few days, so that you can invest sufficient time and energy into the programme. Reassure your other children that you will make it up to them later – don’t forget to do this! Earmark a reward for yourself at the end of it all Confidence It is important to communicate confidence and calm to your baby when you begin.  He needs to see an emotion that makes him feel secure that you are comfortable with what you are doing. Consistency It is no good to start with sleep training at bedtime only to relent later out of desperation and give your baby his ‘crutch’ (such as feeding to sleep).  The message that your baby receives in this case is that he must cry long and hard to have the old method reintroduced. Any inconsistencies will simply prolong the process of sleep training. Collaboration Sleep training is an act of teamwork between you, your partner and your baby. It is completely essential that you all work together and do not undermine the process for each other. Doing it If your child has developed a habit whereby he is dependant on you for sleep, he will protest within minutes (probably even seconds!) of you leaving the room:  This is where the hard bit comes in. Accept that your baby is going to cry, however, you are going to control how long he is going to cry for and you are going to be there for him every step of the way.  There are two methods of handling this – neither one is better than the other – do what feels right for you at the time.  One thing though, remember to be consistent and stick to one method for at least a week. Staying with your baby If you are anxious about separating from your baby, and if you feel uneasy about leaving your baby on his own whilst he is learning to put himself to sleep, you may want to stay with him for the process. All sleep coaching is hard work and may be very emotionally draining, so if you feel angry and frustrated when your baby cries and feel that you might physically harm your baby out of tiredness and frustration, then this is not the sleep coaching method for you. Leaving your baby for short periods of time This method allows you to pick up your baby when he is crying and comfort him until he is calm, but it differs from the first method in that you actually leave the room for short periods of time from the beginning, before returning to pick him up to calm him once more. If you feel that you could possibly harm your baby physically (out of sheer exhaustion and frustration) this may the method of choice for you as you are able to step away from the situation for very short periods of time in order to catch your breath and re-focus on the goal in sight. Changing unhealthy sleep habits is exhausting and the key to

Parenting Hub

Learning Through Play

Research shows that children who actively engage in imaginative play and other sorts of play such as creative activities, are usually happier and more co-operative than those who don’t.  They are much more willing to share and take turns and particularly more creative in their activities.  They demonstrate a larger vocabulary than children who engage less in these childish activities.  Through play, children build a solid foundation for future learning and open themselves to a world of learning opportunities. Early childhood development practitioners all agree that play for young children is essential.  It is vitally fundamental to a child’s social, emotional, physical and intellectual development.  Through healthy play activities, young children are better prepared to enter school and generally grow into secure and self-confident teens and adults.  Interestingly through happy play, children begin a love of learning and prepare for life itself and for every parent, this is so important. Through activities such as cutting and drawing, they develop the muscles in their hands and fingers preparing them for future skills such as writing.  When sharing materials used for creative activities, children learn to be cooperative with one another which is vital for their future social interaction on a higher level and forms the basis for positive self-esteem. And this is where the Mysmartkid programme succeeds in bringing this all together.  The team at Mysmartkid understand the importance of early childhood development and how challenging it can be for parents and caregivers to ensure that their children are reaching those essential developmental milestones.  This is the very reason why they created this unique programme which provides members with the guidance, expert advice and tools necessary to helping your children progress and thrive. The Mysmarkid play and learn programme is tailored to your child’s age and six key developmental areas and helps your child to reach those important milestones.  The Smartbox is filled with toys, activities and expert advice and is delivered to your child every two months.  You will also receive two free useful welcome gifts when you join and have immediate access to exclusive resources and member discounts. Mysmartkid will be with you every step of the way and in addition to your bi-monthly Smartbox which features carefully selected and age-appropriate books, puzzles and toys, Mysmartkid provides you with a wide supplementary range of innovative and educational games, toys and products as well – easily purchased from the Mysmartkid online store. The benefit of belonging to the Mysmarkid programme is that members have access to early childhood development practitioners such as an educational psychologist and speech and language therapist to name only a few.  Playing and learning is the foundation of the Mysmartkid programme.  The team are of the firm belief that teaching children through play is how they can help you give your children the best possible advantage.  Through the programme they can help parents to develop those necessary key skills, build relationships and expertly navigate through what is your child’s most vital developmental phase. Mysmartkid also offers members access to the Mysmartkid blog which allows you to clearly seek out articles pertaining to the six development areas : Wellbeing Identity Concepts Creativity Communication My World This well-presented and well-written blog allows you to search for articles broken down into age groups within the six development areas, making it so much easier for you to find exactly what you’re looking for.  The most popular articles are highlighted within the blog and so parents can easily see what other parents are reading.  This can be a great help to parents to know that other parents are experiencing the same difficulties as them. Mysmartkid has taken pains to ensure that they cater for the needs of young children and their early childhood development. However, through the Mysmarkid programme the team has recognised the necessity to educate parents in terms of their child’s development and so at no time do parents feel like they are out of their depth with no access to those in the know.  They are provided with reading material and instructions within the Smartbox to give them all the relevant tools to work with their children in providing them with the means to play, learn and grow. The programme is sound, well researched and established and as such, you can depend on Mysmartkid to be there to support parents and their little ones on this important journey.

Parenting Hub

8 Ways To Be A Better Role Model On The Road

Providing a list of rules to teach your kids about road safety may be useful, however children can learn better if parents become role models for them on the road. When faced with a particular traffic situation, the behaviour of children can often be unpredictable. Here are 7 essential ways in which your actions can influence your kids: Slowing down, in general. If you are always hasty in getting in and out of your car your children will be too. Letting them out on the curb side if possible. Whenever your child is getting out of a car, try and ensure it is the rear side of the passenger seat. Always wearing your seatbelts while driving a car and always wearing a helmet while driving a bike. Remaining calm while driving and never yelling or shouting at pedestrians or other drivers. Obeying the traffic signals and signs and also explaining them and their significance and importance. You can use these games to have some fun here. Demonstrating: How a car works, how it goes forward and back, what you can see in the review and side mirrors. This will help them understand how easily another driver cannot see them in a driveway or when crossing the road. Avoiding devices. The statistics say it all, cellphones are one of the leading causes of car accidents. Be an example, especially to older kids who will be driving soon. Behaviour is habitual and can be taught, don’t teach them a dangerous habit. And make sure to reward a child when he/she shows good behaviour pertaining to road safety. Such an act always inspires children to repeat the behaviour. By demonstrating such important rules on road safety, you are not only helping your child become a good citizen, but also playing your part as a responsible citizen. The snowball effect will benefit all.

Parenting Hub

How To Raise Healthier Kids On A Budget

There are over 80 000 artificial chemicals in the market today (and growing), which includes cosmetics, medicine, household cleaning products, pesticides and food. Considering that sixty percent of the substances we put in our body are absorbed by our skin, we are exposing ourselves and our families to toxins everyday. Read more facts about your synthetic products. While many parents are aware that organic and natural products are indeed healthier, the cost of these retail products is not an option with a tight household budget. However, there is another option that won’t leave you compromising your family’s health due to the expense of healthy living. Make your own natural products The organic and natural route can be affordable if you start making your own products, which are easier to make than you think. They’re as easy as pie. Scratch that, making pie is difficult. They’re easier than making a sandwich! On top of that, making these recipes together with your kids and teens is an incredibly fun activity. You can learn how to make your own natural skin, hair, cosmetic and household products by visiting the Natural Nerd website which provides free access to these simple and affordable recipes. When you sign up, you will also receive a FREE starter kit, which includes beautifully designed labels for your products among other beginner recipes and tips. Benefits of making your own products Healthier – Using natural and organic ingredients means that you are not exposing yourself to any harmful toxins. Cheaper – Buying the ingredients themselves, opposed to the ready made retail products works out far cheaper, even more so if you buy in bulk. Eco-friendly – All recipes on the Natural Nerd website contain natural, biodegradebale ingredients so that our beautiful blue planet is cared for too. Customisable – Making your own products allows you to customise products to your specific needs and preferences, or the needs and preferences of the people you will be making the products for. They make wonderful gifts – Who wouldn’t love a homemade gift basket of natural goodies? Simple – Sourcing the ingredients locally can sometimes be difficult, especially if you’re starting out. The Natural Nerd website includes a helpful shopping guide and online store, which makes life that much easier. You can be assured that every product recommended and every recipe posted has been personally tried and tested. Every week, you can also look forward to new recipes such as: Skin care recipes: face wash, shampoo, body wash, lip balm, moisturiser, baby powder, baby bum cream, roll-on, conditioner, toothpaste, mouthwash, toner/ astringent, face masks, anti-ageing remedies, hair dye, soap bars, perfume, body spray, mosquito repellent etc. Make up recipes: blush, foundation, tinted lip balm, eye shadow, mascara etc. Cleaning & other home recipes: dish washing liquid, toilet cleaner, window cleaner, linen & room sprays, laundry detergent, fabric softener, mosquito repellent etc. Health remedies: cough syrup, throat lozenges, natural cold & flu remedies etc. AND MUCH MORE! You’ll learn how to make it all.

Parenting Hub

Mysmartkid Smartbox – Learning Through Play

What an amazing product the Smartbox from Mysmartkid has proved to be!  Our first Smartbox was received with great excitement and did not disappoint.  Mysmartkid have a programme that has been developed by experts in the field of early childhood development and it is evident in the choice of educational toys, puzzles and activities that are included in the Smartbox. Each toy has been carefully selected to incorporate the six development areas whilst being age-appropriate.  Parents are encouraged to play with their children and to guide them through each activity included in the Smartbox, but our experience with the Smartbox has proved that because they are age-appropriate, your little one will have no difficulty in accomplishing each game, puzzle and activity on their own.  This not only demonstrates to you, the parent, that your little one can work independently, it goes a long way to increasing your child’s sense of well-being and self-confidence. And so in our first Smartbox, we received a number of really interesting toys and activities for Emily to enjoy.  Her first choice was to create little insects from the Shrink Insect box.  She was required to colour them in herself with the coloured pencils supplied as well as cut them out once she had completed colouring them in.  Punching holes proved a little challenging, but she managed to do that too and together we prepared her shrink insects for the oven.  Eagerly she awaited them coming out the oven to see if they had really shrunk and to complete them by creating legs with the beautiful brightly coloured pipe-cleaners also provided in the Smartbox.  Through this activity, she had made toys for herself to play with and her sense of accomplishment was visibly evident. Emily’s next choice of activity from the Smartbox was to plant the seeds that were all neatly packed together with the very necessary soil, nutrients, tools and seed trays.  Making up the soil was great fun for her and she enjoyed plunging her hands into the wet soil and mixing in all the relevant ingredients and then dividing it into the seed trays.  Preparing each seed tray and dropping the seeds into each compartment was made easy for Emily with the scoop provided in the Smartbox and all the seeds were clearly marked so that she knew what she was planting.  Also included in the Smartbox from Mysmartkid was a progress sheet which she is still working on with her mom, to document the growth of her little plants which are looking really great and probably can be planted into the garden as soon as Spring arrives! Then on a quiet afternoon in her school holidays, Emily decided it was time to play with the last toy in her box which is called Elastica.  This is such an educational toy with a great element of fun and involves having to create images with different coloured elastics that are applied to a pin board.  Included in the Smartbox are a number of cards with the images and instructions on how to achieve them.  There is also a book that you can work with your little one and focuses on achieving solving maths problems.  This particular product can be used in the classroom as well as by occupational therapists to help with fine motor coordination and problem-solving skills. Whilst we await the delivery of our next Smartbox for Emily, we have chosen a few toys off the Mysmartkid website to supplement Emily’s participation in the Mysmartkid early childhood development programme.  We would highly recommend that all parents with young children become members of Mysmartkid.  The benefits of early learning for young children through play, are supported by the team of experts at Mysmartkid who have developed the programme.  It is evident from what Emily has already achieved from just one Smartbox of toys, that the selection for the Smartbox has been done by experts. With everything that we as families are faced with today, the pressures on ourselves as parents as well as on our children to perform, the Smartbox offers our children an outlet to play, learn, develop and grow and that’s what all parents are looking for.

Meg Faure

3 Essentials To Help Keep Your Newborn Calm

As D-Day approaches, you will no doubt be preparing yourself mentally for your baby’s birth.  You will probably read many articles on the birth and even refer to a pregnancy tome, such as ‘What to expect when you’re expecting’, which has a whole chapter dedicated to the great event. Like many women, you may have taken it a step further and have joined antenatal classes as the ultimate preparation for the big day. This preparation for birth is very important and may mean the difference between a natural child birth and a caesarean section. Regardless of the way you deliver your baby, this preparation will help you feel more in control when you go into labor. But few, if any of us, get to attend classes preparing us with what to expect or how to manage in the first few weeks. Motherhood is one of the greatest vocations in life and yet the one for which we are least prepared. Skills such as nappy changing, breastfeeding and how to hold your baby are important for the early days and are skills that may be covered in your antenatal classes.  But what about how to calm your baby? It may well come as a big surprise to you how much newborns cry and the one skill you will need is how to prevent crying and calm your fussing baby. There are three practical ideas to promote calm and help you survive the early days: Swaddling “Swaddling is the best way to imitate the tight hug of the womb environment. It provides deep touch pressure and also prevents your baby’s little limbs from shooting out in a startle reflex – a common cause of night wakings in young babies” Baby sense (Metz Press) The newborn has almost no voluntary movements at birth and primitive reflexes govern her interactions with the world. These reflexes produce jerky movements away from the midline of her body. Smooth movements, towards the midline, such as holding her hands together or sucking her hands, calm the young baby. Because the early reflexes move the limbs away from the midline, they are disconcerting for your little baby. As the parent you need to contain these reflexes and make your baby’s early sensory world calming. The best way to contain these early reflexes is by swaddling your baby. Swaddling is an ancient method of baby wrapping. For some cultures, babies are wrapped for many months, rarely touching the ground as they are carried in these swaddled positions. Although this may be the extreme, it is important, if not vital that you swaddle your baby at least for sleep. Benefits of swaddling  Sleep: The evidence is overwhelming that babies who are swaddled sleep longer and better. Swaddling inhibits the immature startle reflexes, which disrupts sleep. Calm: Deep pressure is calming which is why swaddled babies cry significantly less. Swaddling is thus an excellent solution for a colicky baby. Feeding: Difficult feeders, especially those who fight at the breast, tend to feed better with more coordinated sucks and swallows when they are swaddled. (Journal of Human Lactation, 2001) You need Use a 100% cotton blanket to prevent overheating and the associated risk of SIDS. Preferably use a blanket with some stretch, which will wrap snugly around your baby. If you are using a rectangular blanket, fold it into a triangle, alternately use a specially shaped swaddling blanket, preferably in the shape of a triangle or heart. How to swaddle Lie your baby with the neck on the long side of the triangle. Fold up the lower tip of the swaddling blanket. Wrap one corner of the triangle across your baby, securing her hand near her face so that she can self calm by sucking her hand if she needs to. Wrap the other arm in with the other corner of the triangle. Precautions Your baby can be swaddled for all day and night sleep. In the early days she will be sleeping most of the day and thus be swaddled a great deal of time. When your baby is awake and playing or being changed, unwrap her so that she gets to have a good kick and work her little hip joints. Do not use swaddling blankets that straight jacket your baby’s arms by her sides. Do not overheat your baby by using polyester or polar fleece swaddles. Baby Massage “The way to health is to have a scented bath and an oiled massage each day” Hippocrates (regarded as the father of medicine), 5th century BC The calming world of the womb provides your baby with the positive effects of deep touch pressure all day. Furthermore when your baby moves in the last few weeks in utero, she moves against the resistance of the tight womb walls. This sensory input is called proprioception and is known to calm babies. After birth most touch experiences are light and transient, such as the feel of having a nappy changed or being bathed. It is beneficial for calmness that you provide some deep touch pressure while your baby is awake. A great way to do this is to make time each day for a calming massage. Benefits of baby massage: Bonding: The sense of touch is one of the most powerful mediums that you can use to bond with your baby. Calming: Deep touch and massage act as a calming input to the nervous system and are an excellent remedy for ‘colic’. Sleep: Babies who are regularly massaged are less likely to cry excessively and sleep much better for longer stretches. You need A quiet uninterrupted space and time for a massage. For the newborn use a neutral carrier oil with no fragrance, such as almond oil. For the older baby, buy a lightly fragranced massage oil or add three to five drops of essential oil of lavender or camomile into a neutral carrier oil. How to massage Massage your baby when she is in the calm- alert state, when she is awake, making

Parenting Hub

Safety Tips For All Kinds Of Kids Transport

The “have a password” tip was a great one that circled around the internet for a while. If you didn’t get to see it the tip simply advised that you discuss a “safe word” or password with your child, so that if someone else ever needs to collect them from school one day you can give them this password and insist your child asks for it. If you are one of our Soccermom clients this may be a good idea even if you already have a long-standing driver, you never know when it may be useful. Every situation is different and every family if different, mixed with younger kids and older kids, and all sorts of means of transport options that you may use. So here are a few additional useful tips that we have compiled for all sorts of transport: Bus Transport When waiting for the bus, stay away from traffic and avoid fooling around or other behaviour that can lead to carelessness or can accident Wait until the bus has stopped and the door opens before stepping onto the roadway At your stop, wait for the bus to stop completely before getting up from your seat. Then walk to the front door and exit, using the handrail Getting off the Bus: Make sure that the driver can see you Stay away from the bus’ rear wheels at all times MyCiti or Rapid Bus Transport Wait back from the curb at the bus stop Once on the bus, don’t block doors or lean on them Hold on if you are standing while the bus is moving Understand city buses are not school buses-when passengers exit, city buses move away and other traffic does not stop Avoid standing or walking in zones where drivers cannot see you Train Transport (You never know when one of your family member may need to use the Gautrain, they may even need to do it alone). Do not sit on the platform edge Do not play on the platform Watch your step entering and exiting Hold onto something if you are standing Do not lean on doors General public transport tips Look for an official badge or permit Take note of logos and colours Stay awake and alert at all times Keep close control over your bags and packages Know where you are going Know how to call for emergency help Teach your child that no matter what form of transport they take ultimately they are responsible for themselves and getting to their destination. So stay alert and stay aware and you will yourself safely there! Safe driving, The Soccermom Team  

Parenting Hub

Healthy Ways To Spend Time Together As A Family

It might seem like technology has taken over our lives, but there are still so many activities we can do for entertainment that will keep us fit and healthy. Cape Town’s ice rink, The Ice Station, is one such place where the only reason you’ll need your cell phone is to take photos of how much fun you’re having. The secret to keeping fit and being healthy is to have fun along the way. If you’re having fun then it won’t feel like you’re working out. Kids these days are also being pushed to do more homework, and school sports and extra mural activities take up a lot of time, leaving very little to be active as a family. There are many ways to burn kilojoules, but ice skating is definitely one of the most fun ways to do so, especially as a family. It’s a far better way to spend time together if biking, or surfing isn’t your thing and you get to have a break from TV and video games, not to mention your cell phone. Did you know, according to the calorie counter – Map my Walk,  a female, aged 20, measuring 1.6m tall and weighing 50 kilograms burns 1770 kilojoules for every 60 minutes of ice skating. That’s phenomenal considering the total kilojoules a woman her height and weight needs daily are between 8000 and 10 000 and just one hour of ice skating burns approximately 20% of her daily intake. This shows ice skating is a great way to keep fit and have fun doing it. There are a number of ice skating rinks around the country. But if you’re in Cape Town during the school holidays (year round), pop into the Ice Station at GrandWest Entertainment World in GoodWood. Every Wednesday during the school holidays kids get to take part in a snowman building competition during the morning session from 10h00 to 12h30. You also get a chance to ice skate while the kids build snowmen. There are prizes are up for grabs for the best dressed snowman so make sure to bring along plastic spades, buckets, gloves and decorations. The cost is just R10 per child excluding skate hire so why not come down and chill out. The Ice Station is open every day of the school holidays from 10h00 until midnight with four sessions per day. Join our FACBOOK page https://www.facebook.com/theicestationcapetown?ref=ts&fref=ts to get all the latest info about events. For more information please visit http://www.icerink.co.za/ or to make birthday or group bookings contact The Ice Station on 021 535 2260 or email [email protected]

Parenting Hub

The First Glimpse

My nerves were so high I broke out in hives, I couldn’t think straight. I was struggling to sleep until eventually substituting to crying myself to sleep. This was the last time I would feel you moving and kicking your way around in my tummy. It was the most bitter-sweet emotion. I was physically ready but my emotions were far from prepared. The day arrived, waking up, I put my make up on, brushed my teeth, just like every other day, but knowing this day was going to change my life forever, it felt so dissimilar, everything I did, every reoccurring daily routine was like doing it for the first time. I felt lost. On the way to the hospital I took notice of more than I had ever before. Almost as if I had a sense I had always been unaware of. I was overwhelmed at the idea that I was about to become a Mother, I was about the meet this little boy that I had been waiting months to meet. Our moment that I had been dreaming about was about to become a reality. The sweet little eyes I had been trying to place a picture of in my head would finally see the world. It was finally our moment. I booked myself in and as they began hooking me up to the monitors and taking blood tests, everything became surreal. They began explaining the procedures and preparing me for one of the most intense moments of my life. It was time to meet you. Finally. I was ready. Filled with mixed emotions, they wheeled me into theatre. They began with the spinal block, it worked quickly and as I was placed on the operating table, my body was ready to bring you into this world. I felt the tugging, and I heard the sounds. The sound and smell of burning skin, the doctors casually talking about their holiday with the effort to distract me, and the song playing in the background was all I could hear, I tried to remain focused. The assistant whispered in my ear asking me if I was ready, she explained they would put pressure on my stomach and the doctor would remove him from the tiny incision he had made in my lower stomach. The sound of her voice was so intense, it was as if hearing something pertaining to life and death. It made my emotions rush in fast, it went quiet. I closed my eyes and all I could hear was my heart beat. Focus Leigh. He is he almost here. Suddenly the sound of suctions and struggle became blatant, I couldn’t see what was going beyond the sheets, but I could hear you. You let out a little cry, and the doctor finally said, “Here he comes” They lifted you for a split second to give me a glimpse of your beautiful face, for what felt like hours, I reveled in the most breath-taking sight of you, your wrinkly expression and eyes so dark I could see right into your innocent soul. The sound of your boisterous cry is one of the freshest and fondest memories I have and I can still remember the sweet smell of you. The next hour felt like a life time, in recovery all I could think of was you and how I craved to have you in my grasp, to hold you, look into your eyes and whisper sweetly how much I already loved you. They placed you in my arms, and there it was, you looked at me. You looked into my soul. This love was deep. It was considered more than I could bare. Everything I thought I knew, everything I had planned, the ideas I had created in my mind and how it would feel to meet you for the first time, it had all dissipated. The knowledge I thought I had, had become worthless. I knew from that moment that this was it. This was our moment, and for a moment, in all the chaos around us, it was only you and I in that room and then, you blinked almost as if you agreed, and nothing could stop us. On this day, a life long bond was formed. I gave birth to you, even if by Caesarean Section, an operation which in no way is considered to be natural, you became my son. No matter my decision on how to bring you into this world, that made me a Mother, a privilege that fills my heart with a paramount of gratitude, daily.

Parenting Hub

Food Safety For Babies

“Food safety is not only about the food we eat, but also what we give our children. Babies will consume what we feed them, but it is our responsibility to know what is best for them,” says Stasha Jordan, breastfeeding activist and executive director of the South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR). The World Health Organisation (WHO) warns that foodborne and waterborne diseases kill an estimated 2 million people annually, including many children. Consumption of unsafe food creates a vicious cycle of disease and malnutrition, while intestinal infectious diseases are the leading underlying cause of death for post-neonatal babies (29 days – 11 months old) in South Africa.** Jordan raised concerns that while mothers are able to breastfeed, a lack of awareness means that many unknowingly implement unhealthy feeding practices. “New-born babies who are fed tea with sugar, watered-down pap or a mixture of sand and water will end up in hospital with severe intestinal problems. Unfortunately, this happens on a daily basis,” explains Jordan. Financial constraints are often to blame for poor feeding choices. Cash-strapped parents who cannot afford to purchase a sufficient amount of formula milk reduce the portion size and dilute the mixture, contributing towards severe malnutrition. Even if sufficient formula is used, Jordan warns that limited access to basic utilities like clean water and electricity can hamper a baby’s health if they drink contaminated water from non-sterilised bottles. Breastfeeding alleviates a financial burden on poverty-stricken communities. “There is no cost involved with breastmilk. Our bodies are naturally designed to supply the right food for our babies,” said Jordan who warns that once a mother decides to stop breastfeeding, she will not be able to resume at a later stage. Jordan commended both public and private healthcare for their efforts to promote healthy and safe food choices amongst communities. “We are beginning to see the results from combined efforts to endorse breastfeeding; deaths of South African children under five-years old has halved between 2009 and 2013. This is encouraging, but in 2013 almost 26 000 babies died before they could reach their first birthday**; the number still remains way too high and more work needs to be done to save lives.” Breastmilk donations are urgently required to feed premature babies in neonatal intensive care units to promote food safety for babies. The SABR coordinates the collection and distribution of donated breastmilk to hospitals across the country, providing a life-saving solution to the most vulnerable members of society. Last year 1689 babies received donated breastmilk from SABR. To get involved and alleviate the challenges faced by the SABR, including low breastfeeding rates in South Africa, sourcing donor mothers and funding for the operation of the milk-banks, please visit www.sabr.org.za or call 011 482 1920 or e-mail: [email protected].

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Mysmartkid – Early Childhood Development Experts

“What I love about the Mysmartkid concept is that it provides parents with knowledge, skills and activities which facilitate their children’s development in so many areas. This is done in a simple, accessible and really enjoyable way which provides the foundation for lifelong learning.” Says Catherine Barry, Speech and Language Therapist and member of the excellent panel of experts at Mysmartkid. Playing is important to children. It is the way they practice growing up. Toys are the tools that children use in play and so providing them with educational toys that they can derive pleasure from and at the same time enhance their development, is the answer to any parents’ dream.  All parents want to see their children succeed in life and no-one understands this better than the team at Mysmartkid who have developed an exciting early childhood development programme that will suit all budgets.  For just a minimal outlay every two months, the Smartbox from Mysmartkid will be delivered to your door. Not only is the Smartbox filled with really cool toys for your child to enjoy, but the team have expertly and skilfully selected toys that are age appropriate and focus on all areas of early childhood development.  This means that all the necessary skills that your child needs to learn and develop prior to starting school receive attention and you can be assured that they will benefit from playing with these excellent toys. At Mysmartkid, the leading childcare experts are there to guide parents in all aspects of early childhood development. They will give you all the advice you need on how to help your little one reach their developmental milestones – every playful step of the way. Mysmartkid has a philosophy that says they believe that a child’s early years are the building blocks for their future success and that your child’s early years are the windows of opportunity for their future success.  By educating parents and caregivers to help their child reach their full potential, the Mysmartkid programme allows for parents and caregivers to interact with their child through play.  The most fulfilling way for a child to learn is through play and through the Mysmartkid programme your little one will become a rounded, happy, confident and connected child. Children all learn in different ways and there are various parenting philosophies for each method. However, certain basic learning principles apply to all children, at each age and phase. Involving your little one through all their senses and making sure that your timing is right is just one step in the right direction in terms of creating a fun and unpressurised environment for your child to blossom and grow. When you become a member of Mysmartkid, you will receive the Smartbox every two months, which comes with a variety of age-appropriate and very easy-to-use educational toys.  Included in the Smartbox is a full-colour newsletter, which has advice and information that parents can use to help their child reach those all-important developmental milestones.  The contents of the Smartbox are fun.  They have all been developed in such a way as to encourage parents to interact with their child as well as encourage children to think for themselves and solve problems for themselves.  Parents will be surprised to find just how much fun their little ones will have playing with the toys from the Smartbox. The panel of experts at Mysmartkid have selected age-appropriate toys for the Smartbox, for all age groups.  They have identified six main areas of development that you as a parent should be focusing on with your child and the toys that have been selected will aid in doing just that.  In each Smartbox you will also find a milestone development guide, which is very helpful for parents to identify where their little one may be having problems and therefore pay more attention to those areas.  Over and above the toys from the Smartbox, parents are able to purchase many more excellent toys from the Mysmartkid website. Included on the website is an excellent blog which offers articles that will educate parents and give them great tips and ideas on what they can be doing with their child to stimulate them and help with their early childhood development. When joining the Mysmartkid programme, participants will receive two free gifts which is a beautiful Mysmartkid kiddie’s backpack and an exclusive handbook on Early Childhood Development.  Parents will find that this is just the beginning of a long and rewarding relationship with Mysmartkid where they can watch their little one develop into a beautiful well-rounded balanced young person!

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Down Syndrome Awareness

Children with Down syndrome are keen to be social and their interactive communication skills (the ability to understand and participate in conversations) are good. This strength should be recognized and every effort made to enable them to communicate in all the settings that they are in at home and at school. Increasing the quantity and quality of everyday communication experience for children with Down syndrome is an important intervention (Buckley, S. 2000:27). The following ideas and activities may enhance and develop language skills: Talk to your children – they understand more than they can say. Talk about what your children are doing and their experiences. Expand what your children are saying by repeating and elaborating on their sentences. e.g.  If the child is saying “Dog sit”, you say, “The dog is sitting”. Follow your child’s lead in communication settings – this includes active listening and it may encourage more communication from your child. Incorporate all the senses when you teach your children new concepts, e.g. let them: listen to, look at, feel, taste and smell an object. Signing could be a useful tool which may allow more effective communication and less frustration. Musical activities may be beneficial: The repetitive, fun and engaging elements of music and musical activities, such as singing songs, rhythm and experimenting with musical instruments may also enhance and develop memory and attention qualities. Visual learning activities may support language learning and comprehension skills. For example: Playing language games where words are printed on cards. This could also help with learning individual words and their meanings. Reading books and pictures – an interactive and enriching activity for all! Time well spent and definitely one of the most valuable sources of language development. Most children with Down syndrome understand more language than their expressive language skills suggest and therefore their understanding may, very often, be underestimated. This means that their social interactive skills and non-verbal communication skills may be seen as areas of strength (Buckley, S. & Bird, G. 2001:5). However, facial muscle tone, articulation and phonology may need specific attention and support. The following activities may prove to be beneficial and help with speech production: Blowing bubbles or any other blowing activities (for example: blow balls and bubble fun). Create pictures by blowing paint over paper with a short straw. Blow up balloons. Blow whistles. Play Blow Soccer by using a rolled up ball of aluminum foil / a cotton ball on the floor or on a table. Sucking activities – use straws and vary the thickness of the straws. Licking an ice-cream. (Please be careful of allergies / intolerances) Spread peanut-butter on lips, the child can lick it off. (Please be careful of allergies/ intolerances) “They might be a little slower, but that also slows life down for everybody around them.” – Joshua Tillotson, father of Down Syndrome twins.

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How To Role-Model Healthy Technology Use For Your Children

When I provide my talks to school children on cyber sense, they often nod in agreement when I mention that they aren’t the only ones who need to learn to find a healthy balance in their lives between social interaction, activity and technology. Adults are just as bad as children when it comes to overusing the technology we have at our disposal. The disturbing part is that is that we’re meant to be role models to our kids. The days of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ are over. Whether we like it or not, kids are pretty informed these days about their rights and they’re strongly influenced by outside forces. It’s far easier to set boundaries for children when they can see that we’re setting them for ourselves. Technology has a way of insidiously creeping into our lives and then spreading its tentacles until it has taken us over completely, reducing our real-time interactions with others. For many of us, life has become so busy that if we don’t fill every moment, we feel guilty. When (and why) did it become a requirement to be available every minute of the day? It fascinates me that the more independent and ‘free’ we have become, the more bogged down we actually are. Few of us take the time to ‘stop and smell the roses’ – as in relax, breathe, do yoga, dance, exercise, play, read, be still. Instead, we tend to go back to our crutch, technology, to get off the endless treadmill. Many of us are so addicted to our gadgets and unused to spending time with our own thoughts or conversing with others that we feel lost without a cell phone or other gadget in our hands. We’re losing our ability to think creatively (just ask Google!) and do things with our hands – play a musical instrument, paint, build, create. The real point I’m trying to make is that our children are losing out. Aside from learning unhealthy habits, many feel neglected and sad that their parents spend more time on their devices than with them. The message they’re getting is that work (and social media) is more important than making time for them. Here are a few ideas for being a better technology role model: Walk the talk – When kids are around, set an example by using media the way you’d like them to use it. Eat together at the dinner table where you can catch up on each other’s day. Put all cell phones on silent or off in a basket nearby. Only keep the phone on if you’re expecting an urgent call, but try to keep that time together sacrosanct. Turn the TV off if no-one is watching it – record or PVR shows to watch later. Remove or switch off all distractions during important family time. Just like you’d want your child to turn their devices off when they’re studying, doing their homework or at a social interaction, you should do the same. Note: If you’re really desperate about your child’s over usage, look into new apps like ‘DinnerTime Parental Control’ which enables parents to restrict when children can use their smartphones and tablets. ‘DinnerTime Plus’ lets parents manage the apps their children use, see what they are watching in real-time plus you can purchase reports on how much time they are spending on certain apps. With ‘Screen-Time’ parents can push a button on their android phones to block usage on their children’s devices and they can also set daily time limits for particular apps. ‘MyMobileWatchdog’ is an app that allows parents to keep a check on what their children are up to on their phones (not advisable unless you have reason to worry). Set boundaries – It’s a good idea to start setting time limits on the use of devices when your children are young. You can discuss these with them and if necessary, gradually increase these limits when they get older. Work out how much time they can spend on their i-pads, playing video games, watching TV and using their cell phones. There are health implications to all the electro-magnetic rays we are all being exposed to and some scientists believe that children are especially vulnerable, as their brains are still developing. It’s really important that we set boundaries for ourselves too by separating work time from family time – this will set a good example to our children, improve relationships and help them create healthy habits later on. Use media together – Whenever you can, watch, play with and listen to your children. Ask their opinion of movies, TV shows, ads, social media. Share your values, and help kids relate what they learn in the media to events and other activities in which they’re involved. Share posts from your FaceBook and Instagram accounts with your older children. Ask if you can be their friend on social media sites so you can keep a benevolent, watchful eye over them like a helpful guardian – don’t embarrass them by being too involved! Set a good example of cell phone etiquette – Put your phone on silent when you’re with your child, a friend, or anyone else – unless you’re expecting an important call. In that case, if it rings, answer it and explain you’re busy but will phone them back when you’re free. It isn’t good manners to chat away loudly on your cell phone while everyone has to sit around listening to you. Usually it isn’t anything that can’t wait. If it is something you absolutely have to deal with right there and then, excuse yourself and explain why you have to take the call. Turn phones off or on silent while at movies, at weddings, funerals, school meetings, etc. Unless you have hands free, don’t talk on your phone while driving. Aside from setting a bad example, you are endangering your life, your passengers, and others on the road. More and more accidents are being caused by drivers

Parenting Hub

The Ultimate Balancing Act

When it comes to balancing family and career there is no more harassed adult than a parent. If you do manage to balance all the tasks you set out for yourself daily, you will still have to manage the huge emotional burden we all carry around as parents, with feelings of guilt and stress being foremost. Most of us have wondered what it would be like to trade in the work suit for fluffy slippers and be a stay-at-home parent. The reality though is that in this economy more and more of us need to work and contribute. While work pressure makes the alternative seems so appealing, it is also a challenge being home all day with little ones. There are various reasons but the biggest of these is the need for a salary, a longing to communicate with other adults and to stay intellectually satisfied. There are only so many daily routines one can take before feeling cabin fever when stuck at home. A stay-at-home parent has many stress factors too and many parents will tell you that your daydreams of outings and long visits to the beach usually don’t work out as planned. Children are often more interested in the small things and tend to be realllllly preoccupied with their snack, for example, while you would love for them to be looking at the diving dolphins swimming past. Children can also be manipulative and will especially be able to dictate to a parent who is emotionally prone to feelings of guilt and anxiety. Therefore, one needs to put guilt in its correct place amongst the plethora of emotions wrought on us as parents. Much of the guilt that we as parents feel can’t be tied to specific actions or issues, it’s just a vague sense that we’re doing everything just a little bit wrong. No matter what the situation, we feel guilty that we aren’t as perfect as the parents portrayed in the media. According to www.psychcentral, Guilt is an emotional warning sign that lets us know when we’ve done something wrong. It prompts us to re-examine our behavior so that we don’t end up making the same mistake twice. Guilt works best to help us grow and mature when our behavior has been offensive or hurtful to others or ourselves Unhealthy guilt’s purpose, on the other hand, is only to make us feel badly for little legitimate reason. Be aware that not every emotion, and certainly not every guilty feeling, is a rational one. www.psychcentral suggests we remember to be skeptical the next time we feel guilty – is it trying to teach us something rational and helpful about our behavior, or is it just an emotional, irrational response? It’s a simple fact of physics that a working parent isn’t going to witness her offspring’s entire day. It’s okay to be sad about missing out on the precious moments and milestones reached. If you let yourself be sad for the things you’re giving up by working, it may be easier for you to enjoy the things you’re gaining, for example your salary and some financial freedom. Copyright Georgia Argyropoulos, 2015 Write down your own motivations. Once you’ve reassured yourself that the salary and quality time you do have is worth the trade off, you may feel better about the emotional impact of guilt for not being a stay at home mom Time management is essential. Ensure you block off time for focused attention to your children, doing things that are important to you all. Then simply let go of the guilt. Find ways to reassure yourself that your child is in good hands during your working day. Nanny-cam and mobile connections like viber, whatsapp, live stream etc, make keeping in touch with your child’s caregiver so much easier (and free). Insist on some photos of their daily activities and you should be able to contact them during the day if need be to reassure yourself. When you do get home and are able to spend quality time with your child, set up at least one (or all) of the following daily routines: A fun bath-time ritual for your little ones can include things like soap-crayons and soap play-dough. You can find any manner of inexpensive toys for the bath and just go with the flow of things. Let this time of day be flexible and as relaxed as possible so that you enjoy the time as much as they do. If your child is a bit older, please consider reading to them every night just before bedtime. Reading to your child will be an especially calm activity and may instill a love for reading in your child. Reading remains one of the most essential academic functions in this day and age. If you have a teen and are scratching around for a novel way to spend quality time together, consider taking turns planning a dinner, setting the table and cooking a meal everyone wants to eat. Or bake! The action of preparing creates a favourable expectation and the reward isn’t just a great meal, it’s also that you spent quality time doing something fun. If you don’t have time to cook dinner then at least eat the dinner together at a table without the TV on. It may be the only time of day you have to chat with your family where everyone is not busy with a hand-held or other device. A really important part of managing the ultimate balancing act as a parent is this: Spend time alone so that you can build up your emotional reserves!!!  One harassed working mom says, “I was reaching breaking point trying to manage my 2 and 3 year old toddlers, a booming business, a demanding husband and my household. I felt like I had Copyright Georgia Argyropoulos, 2015 reached my limit. So I found a really inexpensive B&B and booked myself in for the whole day. I slept, read a book and did nothing. All day! It

Maz -Caffeine and Fairydust

Going Back To Work After Maternity Leave

So as you all know by now, I have some issues regarding maternity leave in South Africa… and having to return to work when Knox is barely 4 months old is one of them. The first time around (when I had my little girl) I was young, had PND and could not wait to get back to work – to be honest, we had some issues bonding due to various reasons and I was going crazy at home. I felt like I was failing at being a mom, and running away to work seemed like a good escape hatch – an easy way out. Boy was I wrong… It took years to repair the damage going back to work too early did (she was only 2 months old), but today our bond is stronger than ever. This time around I embraced my maternity leave, I treasured every single second… spent my days memorizing Knox‘s face and spending quality time with Mikayla. I dreaded the day I had to go back. Wednesday, 1 April was D-Day and I am still struggling with the transition. Not only did I return to work, I also started a new job at a new company. Going back to work also has it’s perks –  I did my make-up and was wearing something other than yoga pants or PJ’s, I didn’t smell like sour milk for once and I actually combed my hair. I had a cup of coffee I could drink whenever I wanted (while it was still hot – can you believe it??), I could have a wee with the door closed and there were adults I could talk to all day about adult stuff, and I wasn’t getting spit-up on. The allure of a quiet cup of coffee ended on the second day and the realization that I was leaving my little guy, every day…indefinitely…struck me. I felt like my heart was being crushed. I have always known that being at stay-at-home mom was not for me, it will never be enough for me. I will always crave the sense of accomplishment I get from working, the thrill of being really good at my job, the challenge of leading others. Most of all, I like that I am a role model for my children.  I know that they might not understand it now, but I want them to know and respect the fact that I am pursuing a career that is fulfilling and challenging. I want to inspire them to become educated and go after their dreams with the same ferocity I did. I appreciate my time with the kids so much more in the evenings and on the weekends and I also know that they are gaining great social skills while I’m away.  Last, I love that I am contributing financially to my family. I love the financial independence, that’s a biggy for me..  I have worked so hard to get to where I am… I have exceeded even my own expectations and there is no way I could just throw all of that away. Unfortunately, being back at work and away from the kids leaves me feeling deeply alone, I feel like a part of me is missing. Simply put: Being at work is breaking my heart, but staying at home is not fulfilling enough for me. So what the hell am I supposed to do? It is difficult, and in some ways it is really unfair – but I am doing the best I can, every day. I will carry on and hold my head up high, because I can do this. I am not going to make myself feel guilty, I will take pride in the fact that I am not only a career woman and working mom, I am also a home -maker, I am also a full-time mom… I am succeeding in doing something not many others can. I am doing it all, and I am doing it damn well. Do not let anyone make you feel like less of a mother just because you do not stay at home with your kids all day, and do not dare make anyone feel like less of a mother because they can’t afford to make the same choices you did or because they don’t want to be a stay-at-home-mom. There is a whole lot of hard work and sacrifice involved in pursuing a dream.  It means making difficult choices and a willingness to believe in yourself even when no one else does. Does pursuing my own dream make me selfish? Maybe, but it I truly believe it is better this way. Preparing to go back to work after having a baby can be one of the most stressful times in a new mom’s life.  From the time we brought Knox home from the hospital, I was counting down the weeks until I had to leave my little dude and go back to work. Even though I was borderline depressed about being away from the kids eight hours a day, it is something that had to be done and I did do a lot of planning to make the transition easier and to minimize the mom guilt of being a working mother. Are the tips I’m about to share going to make you going back to work any easier emotionally, physically and/or psychologically? No, sorry… but it is worth a try. 1. Find a Great Nanny or Daycare We are so fortunate to have Cole’s mom close by. She watched Mikayla when she was a baby and is now watching Knox during the day. Mikayla goes to a little Montessorri school half days and then joins her baby brother at nanna’s house afterwards. This also comes with its’ issues – make sure that you make your expectations and boundaries clear. If you are not that lucky, start looking for childcare options while you are still pregnant so you have plenty of time to interview and make a choice that you’re most comfortable with. It is so important to pick the right person to look after your little one, and it will help knowing that your baby is with someone you can trust. 2. Don’t Go Around Harassing People With Pictures Of Your Little One On Your First Day They might enquire, “How’s the baby?” Before you whip out your phone, try and remember your pre-baby life. Think back to how it felt to

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When should a child be referred to an occupational therapist?

  Following is a few easy questions that could help you to determine if a child should be referred to an O.T.  What is fine eye-hand coordination? This is the ability to use eyes and hands together to perform a task.  We all use this skill every day in all different kinds of situation:  tying shoe-laces, writing, cutting, dressing, the list is endless. How will I know if a child has a problem? Drawing shows poor orientation on the page and the child is unable to stay within the lines when colouring/writing. Your child will struggle with activities that kids the same age finds easy e.g. buttoning small buttons when dressing, picking up small objects Your child will rather get involved in gross motor activities e.g. swinging than doing colouring, pegboard tasks, etc. Threading activities will be difficult or avoided Child will find it difficult to cut neatly on a line Handwriting won’t be neat. Muscle tone  Muscle tone refers to the natural stress in the muscle when at rest. It is not the same as muscle strength. A child with a natural lower tone in his muscle will use his muscles with more effort than a child with a natural higher muscle tone. How will I know if a child has a problem? Tires easily / or moves around the whole time to maintain muscle tone Appear clumsy / uncoordinated Child will over emphasize movement / use exaggerated movement patterns Lean on to objects Find it difficult to maintain one position for a long time Slouch in chair Use broad base of support when sitting Drool Fidgety – uses this to build up tone when sitting for long periods of time Usually doesn’t part-take in endurance sport What are visual perceptual skills? These skills are necessary to interpret seen information in the brain. These skills are the building blocks for reading, writing and maths. How will I know if a child has a problem? Kids who struggle with foreground-background will ‘steals’ words/letters from other sentences/words and add it to the word/sentence they are busy reading.  They also find it difficult to find specific words/numbers on a page. Kids with a limitation in position in space and/or spatial-relationships will confuse p/b/d, switching of words in a sentence or switching of syllables. Kids with a limitation in form-constancy will struggle to read different types of fonts/hand writing and to copy writing from the black board. Kids with closure impairment will confuse letters with each another when different fonts of writing are used e.g. a/d; u/a; c/e. Kids with impairment in discrimination will for example struggle to find words/numbers that is the same. Kids that struggle with analysis and synthesis finds it difficult to read words that they have to spell Kids with a limitation in memory will for example struggle to copy work from the black board Kids that struggle with consecutive memory will for example find it problematic to copy words/sentences/numbers correctly from the black board. What is bilateral integration? That is the ability of both sides of the body to work together to perform a task. How will I know if a child has a problem? Appears to be uncoordinated when doing tasks Difficulty in performing gross motor tasks e.g. skipping, galloping, jumping-jacks, etc. Prefers not to cross the imaginary midline of the body Not choosing a dominant hand to write/draw/colour (after age 5) Swapping hands when doing tasks What is dyspraxia? Praxis (a.k.a motor planning) is the ability of the brain to conceive, organize, and carry out a sequence of tasks/actions. Praxis is the ability to self-organize. Praxis includes motor planning, cognitive events and communication. The child may present with the following: Appear clumsy Poor balance Difficulty with riding a bike Poor handwriting Difficulty with remembering instructions and copying from the blackboard May have difficulty with speech and the ability to express themselves Bumping into objects Late establishment of laterality (right- or left-handedness) Poor sense of direction Difficulty in learning new motor skills (crawling, using utensils and tools, catching a ball, penmanship) Difficulty in completing tasks with multiple steps (playing board games, sports,  solving puzzles and learning math skills) Difficulty in doing tasks in the proper sequence (dressing, or following directions with multiple steps, putting together words and sentences in the right order) Difficulty copying designs, imitating sounds, whistling, imitating movements Difficulty in adjusting to new situations or new routines Difficulty in judging distance in activities (riding bicycles, placing objects) or with others (standing too close or too far away) Present with delayed skills – remaining in the early stages of skill acquisition Poor at holding a pencil Forgetful and disorganized Have a poor attention span Need to go right back and begin again at the very beginning of the task when experiencing difficulty, instead of just ‘getting on with it’ Have difficulty using tools – cutlery, scissors, pencils – lots of handwriting problems (although not all handwriting difficulties are the result of motor Dyspraxia) poor balance; Have poor fine and gross motor co-ordination Have poor awareness of body position in space Have difficulty with reading, writing, speech and maths Other signs/symptoms Child acts immature (cries easily, separation anxiety, etc.). Concentration difficulties / easily distracted by things/people/sounds around himself/herself. If a child is struggling with reading, writing, spelling, maths. If a child’s school progress is behind the other kids in the class. If a child has a physical impairment that is influencing his/her playing, walking, running, etc. Hurts himself or other children / appear to be aggressive  –  when children struggle with certain developmental skills they may become angry easily because of frustration.  Kids who have poor self-control/impulsivity often cannot control themselves physically when angry. Hyperactive child / child who fidgets / cannot sit still / talks non-stop – this child may have ADD or ADHD Children who turn the paper when drawing/colouring/writing – this may be because the child is avoiding to cross the imaginary midline of the body A complete occupational therapy assessment will be

Parenting Hub

Should Kids Get An Allowance?

One thing that parents do is connect chores with allowance…. bad move! But they think that their kids are automatically motivated by money, as they are themselves. So Mom holds Sarah’s allowance over her head to get her to finish her work. Some even hold it over their kids heads to just be good or to do their homework. Truth be told, it might work in the beginning and for some kids more than others, but what happens one day when your child tells you the she has enough money and walks away, declining to complete her chores, her homework, or be nice to her brother? Although many will disagree with me, it is my professional opinion that connecting a child’s allowance to chores is wrong. In fact, giving an allowance to younger children all together is a mistake. My main reason is that we want our children doing their chores and contributing to the family because they should, not because they are going to get paid to do it. If the child equates getting money in exchange for doing chores and they don’t care about the money, they may not care about the chores either. If you do decide to give an allowance, I suggest you give it for the sake of giving it and not holding it hostage to get your needs met. It just sets up younger children with the wrong idea about money and getting paid. One family I know suffered a financial hardship. Dad was laid off from his job and spent years recovering before he was able to acquire employment again. As a result, the parents had to stop the payment of the allowance in order to pay for critical needs. The children didn’t understand and became confused and fearful about money, chores, and Dad’s lack of work. Your teenagers may be in a better position to earn an allowance once they begin to understand the value of money, saving, and spending. Somewhere around the age of 15, the parent is likely to begin teaching his or her teenager life skills. That’s where paying an allowance may come in handy. The teenager is likely to begin thinking about paying for some items on their own and it gets them started down the road of earning an income. Different from an allowance, I do support paying a child for hard labor; tasks they complete that are above and beyond the expectations of daily or weekly chores. Cleaning out a garage, mowing a lawn, or weeding a garden are great examples of tasks you can pay them to complete that are worthy hard labor. When my own children were young, I would prepare a list of larger sized chores that, if completed, were a big help to their parents. I would assign a monetary value to each one and let them pick from this regularly updated list.

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The 7 P’s – Marketing Mix

13 April – up to here Anyone who studied marketing and got their degrees years ago, would relate to having been taught that there were 4 P’s in the marketing mix that were ultra important and that all had to be taken into consideration as a package deal so to speak. These were always : Product Place Price Promotion So in a nutshell, you had to have the right product in the right place at the right time, at the right price and promote it effectively and you would have the perfect mix. Marketing is a business function that identifies consumer needs, determines target markets and applies products and services to serve these markets. It also involves promoting such products and services within the marketplace. Marketing is integral to the success of a business, large or small, with its primary focus on quality, consumer value and customer satisfaction.   The way in which we do business has evolved (fortunately) and the way in which we market our businesses has also evolved (fortunately too).  Thus there are in fact seven main aspects that need to be taken into consideration for the perfect marketing mix : Product Place Price Promotion People Process Physical evidence       Product There are so many products and services out there to satisfy every want, need and desire imaginable.  This means that companies need to work so much harder at making their products or services stand out from the crowd.  This involves Design Technology Usefulness / Features Convenience Value Quality Packaging Branding / Image Accessories Warranties Place Having your products or services in the right place means that you need to be offering your clients easy access to your products or services through : Retail Wholesale Mail order Internet Direct sales Peer to peer Multi-channel Price At first glance, pricing seems to be a simple function.  However, when deciding on a price for your product you need to consider the following : Positioning Discounts Credit Payment methods Free or value-add elements Penetration Competition Promotion So having a product to sell or a service to offer is all good, but if you don’t promote it and get people talking about it and interested in it, your products won’t get off the shelves and your services will be useless.  Thus good promotion involves : Advertising Special offers Endorsements User trials Free gifts Competitions Joint ventures Public relations People Interestingly people do business with people, they do not do business with companies.  Therefore having the right people to represent your organisation is key : Employees Management Customer service Culture Process Effective business process is what drives a successful organisation.  This involves having great IT systems that are customer focused and business led : Research and development IT Customer focused Management leaders Physical Evidence From a business perspective, all the above is just great but if you have no absolute physical evidence to both the business in terms of how well your products are selling and to your clients in terms of supporting your claim to them needing to purchase your products or services, then you basically should shut your doors.  It’s so important for you to know your business inside out and that means knowing your clients through : Customer relationship building Great sales force Accounting systems (supported by IT) Financial control When next you look at your own organisations marketing mix, make sure that you consider all 7 of the P’s.

Mia Von Scha

Redefining The Perfect Mother

Due to the work I do with parents I find that people often look to me as an example of a perfect mom. Am I? Well what is your definition of a perfect mom? If it is someone who never loses her temper, never says something inappropriate, never needs a holiday from her kids, never hides from them, is always fully present and patient and understanding and oozes love every moment of the day and never sits crying in a heap on the kitchen floor, then no. There is no perfect parenting state that you can reach and then all is hunky-dorey. Parenting is a process of growth – both yours and your child’s. It is a relationship with another human being, and it is always these close relationships that help us to grow the most, that push our buttons, that challenge us. And this doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent – it’s part of the deal. You are raising yourself, not them. YOU are growing – as a person. And your kids need to see you fall apart at times – to see that you can crack and lose the plot and scream and cry… and that you recover afterwards, admit your weaknesses and apologise for any harm done. It is this very humanness that helps them to accept themselves with all their own human frailties. By seeing you fall apart and recover, they know that when they fall apart they, too, can come right again. So let’s redefine the perfect mother as a woman, who happens to have a child, who lives and accepts herself with all her perceived faults and problems; for such a woman will also love her child with all their limitations and will raise that child to love themselves no matter what. And isn’t that what we’re all looking for – unconditional love? Start by giving it to yourself.

Parenting Hub

Alternative Therapy For ADD / ADHD?

Neurofeedback is a non-invasive learning strategy that works to improve the brains ability to produce certain brainwaves without the need for medication. You can think of it as “exercise for the brain”. By creating awareness about your own brainwave characteristics, you can learn to change them. Neurofeedback instruments show the kind of waves a person is producing, making it possible for the individual to learn to change in ways that improve attention and facilitate learning. It is essentially self-regulation training ideally suited to those with ADHD, ADD and specific learning disabilities. What are brainwaves? Brainwaves are the electrical wave patterns found in every person’s brain. Through EEG technology we can determine the strength and frequency of brainwave activity as it flows through the different areas of the brain. Beta is the fastest brainwave and is produced during focused activities and is essential for attentiveness and learning. Alpha is a slightly slower brainwave and is associated with a relaxed yet alert state of mind. Theta is an even slower brainwave and is associated with dreaminess, relaxation and sleep. Research indicates that children with ADHD are less able to produce Beta activity and experience excessive slow wave activity. In fact, when challenged with academic tasks, such children show greater increases in Theta activity and a decrease in Beta readings. In order for your brain to concentrate and learn, your brain needs to emit a high level of Beta waves, which the ADHD child is unable to do. No wonder children with ADHD have trouble concentrating! Other children become increasingly anxious in exam situations, generating too much Beta activity which also interferes with the learning and retrieval process, creating increased levels of anxiety. Assessment & Treatment The assessment procedure begins when a teacher / parent becomes concerned about a child’s ability to concentrate and learn. A thorough evaluation must be carried out in order to determine whether the clinical picture is consistent with ADHD. A useful tool for Neurofeedback practitioners is the involvement of a QEEG (quantitative electroencephalogram – computerized EEG evaluation). If the pattern of ADHD brainwave activity is detected, and fits in with the clinical picture, Neurofeedback training can commence. Through Neurofeedback training it is possible to increase Beta and decrease Theta, allowing for more focused learning in most children. How does one “train your brain”? Much like a clinical EEG sensors / electrodes are placed on the child’s scalp and fed through an amplifier into a computer programme. The child then proceeds to play computer games or watch a movie, the only difference is that the child must use their own brainwaves to control the game / show. When the child is focused in the correct way i.e. producing the perfect amount of Beta and Theta brainwave activity, the game / movie will play, if not, the screen will fade and the brain will know to readjust. The treatment is non-invasive and does not involve any medication. Individuals learn to voluntarily control their brainwave activity through operant conditioning. Is this a cure for ADHD? Neurofeedback never claims to “cure” any diagnosis. The goals of Neurofeedback are to teach the child to become increasingly self-aware and to train the brain to be more flexible. The goal of Neurofeedback training is not to change the child, but to make the child more self-aware and provide tools for the brain to re-organise itself and quickly shift into a more focused mode when required. It is important to remember that as humans we operate within a system and, as with more traditional therapies, additional support and guidance will be needed to treat the person as a whole. With Neurofeedback the child can still be the person they are, but with increased focus and awareness and an ability to “change gears” without relying on medication, thereby learning valuable and lasting skills. What are the results? • Finishing tasks • Listening better • Less impulsivity • Greater motivation and focus • Higher self-esteem  

Parenting Hub

Understanding Your Child’s Concentration Problems

As the mid-year exams loom, children will write tests to measure how much they remember what they have learnt. Being able to concentrate in class is a critical step in the learning process and is fundamental for success at school. When a child struggles to concentrate, a worried teacher may approach parents to discuss types of intervention.  “When it comes to lack of concentration in the classroom, there are various options available to help learners to focus their attention better. The difficulty however, is knowing which one will really help your child,” says Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programmes at Edublox. A research study to test treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) with prescription medication showed that “only 56% of the patients in the medication group met the definition of success at the end of treatment.”* Researchers list concerns about the use of such medication in children: side effects have been reported, for some serious and life-threatening; insufficient evidence of long-term efficacy of medication; and “symptoms of ADHD reappear after discontinuing drug treatment.” There are a variety of neurofeedback approaches offered for children with attention problems which claim to enhance concentration and optimise brain performance after multiple consultation sessions. In some cases devices like headbands are worn to measure blood oxygen levels in the brain; if these levels decrease below optimal performance when watching a DVD, the volume or brightness of the screen is reduced, sending feedback to the viewer that their concentration is waning. In 2013 the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry published the results of a clinical trial** that tested the efficacy of electroencephalographic (EEG) neurofeedback in reducing ADHD symptoms. Forty-one children between the ages of 8 and 15 years who were diagnosed with ADHD participated; one group received EEG neurofeedback treatment while a placebo group were given treatment with random feedback. If the results achieved in the placebo group are similar to the results achieved with the group who had proper treatment, it means that it was not the treatment that made them better. This was the result in the research study, and the researchers concluded that “EEG-neurofeedback was not superior to placebo-neurofeedback in improving ADHD.” Du Plessis explains that there are three types of attention: “When a child is easily distracted by a pencil falling off their desk or sounds outside the classroom window, they lack focused attention. Sustained attention is required to focus for long periods of time. Then there is divided attention,” says du Plessis, “which is quite similar to multi-tasking. It’s a higher-level skill where you have to perform two of more tasks at the same time. If the task is to write a story, a learner must be able to think about their characters and plot, as well as spelling and punctuation rules that apply.” Lack of concentration is often linked to poor memory, says du Plessis. Parents may think that their child has a concentration problem, du Plessis however cautions that the root cause is often a memory problem. Working memory is the cognitive system responsible for the temporary storage and manipulation of information. Du Plessis describes three other types of memory: “If a child struggles to copy work from the board into their workbook, they struggle with visual memory. If they find it difficult to remember a number of verbal instructions, their auditory memory may be weak.” Sequential memory, says du Plessis, is remembering the order in which events take place. There are practical cognitive development exercises that can be introduced in the context of a learning environment, which can help improve one’s memory and ability to concentrate with long-term results, says du Plessis. A research study conducted last year, sponsored by natural medicines company Flordis SA, and analysed by the Centre for Evaluation and Assessment at the University of Pretoria, showed a significant increase in focused attention among children who had participated in a five day cognitive development training course. The effect of such training on visual memory has also been examined in an unpublished study by Dr Jaiden May from the University of Johannesburg where children’s visual memory increased by 1.3 years after 22 hours of cognitive training. Du Plessis offers tips for parents looking for intervention programmes for their child: “Solve the cause of the concentration problem. Avoid programmes that operate in a secluded environment. Rather choose a programme that replicates a classroom because it is at school that your child’s concentration will eventually be tested.” In-house measures that track intervention performance are not sufficient, says du Plessis. “Intervention programmes should be based upon scientific research with proven results. Improved grades on a school report card are an excellent, unbiased indicator to show that an intervention programme is working.” There are a variety of ways to help your child improve their attention and memory at home, says du Plessis. “Parents can help their child improve sequential memory by asking them to re-tell a story that they have just listened to.” The Stroop Test helps improve divided attention. Du Plessis explains, “The test is to look at the words and say the colour of each word. You will struggle at first because you’re more likely to read the word.” Images for the ‘Stroop Test’ can be found by conducting an online search, an example of one is illustrated below. Edublox are leading specialists in cognitive development with 22 reading and learning clinics across the country. Edublox offers multisensory cognitive training, aimed at developing and automatising the foundational skills of reading, spelling and Mathematics. For more information about Edublox visit www.edublox.co.za.   * http://repository.ubn.ru.nl/bitstream/handle/2066/125153/125153.pdf ** http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/24021501/  

Meg Faure

Establishing A Good Sleep Routine

Feeling jaded and sleep deprived? You are in good company. Less than half of all babies sleep through before the toddler years and even if they do, sleep issues can raise their ugly head at any time.  Sleep problems need to be addressed because not only do you feel bad, sleep deprivation is not good for your baby either. The importance of sleep Sleep is important for your little one because it is healing for his body and mind. During a long period of unbroken sleep, your baby will cycle from light sleep to deep sleep and back many times. When in the light sleep state he will dream and his amazing brain processes and lays down memories of the experiences he had during the day. This sleep state is surmised to be essential for memory and learning. Deep sleep is just as important for development because during this sleep state, your baby sorts the important information from the day from the irrelevant. The superfluous synapses are literally pruned and connections that are not commonly used are severed, freeing up energy and brain connections for more useful function. Establishing a good sleep routine One way to guide your baby into better sleep habits is to establish a sleep routine. The key to routines is that they need to be flexible and age appropriate. There are three steps to setting up a sleep routine effectively: Follow age appropriate awake times for your baby All babies have age related optimal awake times – intervals in which your little one can be happily awake. During this time he will be content and interactive, learning from his environment. If your baby is kept awake for longer than his ideal awake time, he will become needy, easily over stimulated and generally irritable. In addition to this he will not naturally fall into a sleepy state and thus will be more difficult to get to sleep. The easiest way to get your baby into a routine is to make sure you settle him to sleep as when his age appropriate ‘Awake Time’ is up (See table for age appropriate Awake times).  Take note of the time your baby and then make sure to watch that he goes down according to his ‘Awake times’. Read your baby’s signals for tiredness In addition to watching the ‘Awake Time’, you should observe your baby’s individual signals. Signals that your baby is tired may include rubbing eyes, sucking hands, touching ears, looking into space, drowsy eyes or many other self-soothing strategies. When your baby shows the signs of drowsiness, he should be put down to sleep. Settle your baby with sleep cues Use soothing strategies to shift your baby into a drowsy state before putting him in the cot, such as dimming the lights or drawing the blinds; giving a feed, if this is helpful to settle him (such as before bedtime); a soothing massage for older babies and swaddling for little ones works a wonder; rocking your little one until he is drowsy. Once drowsy, put your little one in the cot so that he puts the last piece of the puzzle together for himself – self-soothing to sleep. Importance of self-soothing Newborns are unable to self-sooth effectively, which is why you may have found yourself rocking, patting and lulling your newborn to sleep. However, we do know that as your baby gets towards 4 months of age, he has the innate ability to access self-soothing strategies, such as sucking his hand, sucking a dummy, holding a ‘sleep lovey’ such as a bear or Taglet, or to simply hum to sleep. If this natural ability is allowed to develop, without too much interference, you will have a good sleeper. Where new parents frequently go wrong is by creating dependence and habits around sleep time, such as rocking a six month old to sleep or feeding a toddler at night. Try from around 4 months to give your little one the space and time to self sooth – do not let him cry or become distressed, but if he is moaning to sleep, support him to find his blanky or thumb and to access self soothing strategies independently. While getting a full night’s sleep may feel like a search for the holy grail, it is achievable, with simple strategies such as watching the awake times, your baby will settle into an age appropriate sleep routine.

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How Drained Is Your Brain?

Of paramount importance in dealing with ADHD and other learning and behavioural issues, is nutrition. Granted, it may not be the only factor to consider, however, it certainly is a fundamental component and before we can correct deficiencies, we need to explore what needs to be cut out in order to halt the brain drain. Preservatives, colourants and artificial additives While not all additives are potentially harmful, many studies have shown how they trigger and exacerbate symptoms of hyperactivity, poor memory, depression, mood swings and intolerances. It’s important to become aware of which chemicals and pesticides your child is exposed to on a daily basis, as the consequences of long term exposure  are unknown and the benefits of any medication and supplements that your child is taking, will be diminished if they are constantly exposed to chemicals that may well be triggering their behaviour. It’s advisable to buy foods with short ingredient lists and to ensure that you recognize real foods in them. Watch out for marketing claims. If the label boldly states that the food is ‘free from artificial colourings’, then check that it’s not crammed full of other preservatives or additives. Sugar Not only is there zero nutritional value in sugar, but alarmingly it upsets the absorption of other important nutrients, suppresses the immune system, and this results in a sluggish foggy brain. Many children are particularly sensitive to sugar because they do not metabolize it properly. In these cases hyperactivity, unruly behaviour and aggression is very common. The first step is to ascertain how much sugar the child (or anyone for that matter) is consuming throughout the day. Slowly start cutting down and where possible, replace with stevia or xylitol but NOT artificial sweeteners. When a diet is high in sugar and refined carbs, the brain does not get a steady flow of fuel, and this will impact on concentration, memory, learning ability, mood and overall mental functioning. Caffeine This is a stimulant which affects the nervous system and causes mood swings because it influences the body’s ability to control blood sugar levels. It is a diuretic, which depletes vitamin B, zinc, potassium, calcium and iron levels, all of which are vital nutrients for cognitive function. Caffeine is found in tea, coffee, chocolate, chocolate drinks and several carbonated and energy drinks. Remember that many of these drinks have high sugar and chemical contents, which when combined with the caffeine will not only have a negative impact on mental function but can lead to anxiety, depression and other mood disorders. Caffeine acts as an appetite suppressant and if taken in the morning, breakfast could be refused and then the brain will not get the fuel required to function for morning lessons. Heavy metals Heavy metals such as mercury (from amalgam fillings, pharmaceuticals, pesticides and fish from polluted waters), aluminium (cookware, foil and food packaging), cadmium (cigarette smoke and exhaust fumes), and lead (water pipes and exhaust fumes) accumulate in the brain, creating toxicity and affecting its chemistry. Again there is a link to memory, concentration and a number of behavioural issues. Pectin in apples, algae, garlic, onions, eggs, carrots, methionine, cysteine, selenium, zinc and vitamin C help with the detoxification of these toxins. Carbonated sugary drinks and processed fruit juices There is an average of 6-8 spoons of sugar in a can of fizzy cool drink. Many of these drinks contain artificial sweeteners and other chemicals and are high in phosphoric acid which affects calcium absorption. Most fruit juices are completely refined  and processed with quick sugar release that will affect blood sugar balance. Many are sweetened and have added chemical ingredients for texture and flavour, which is not only unhealthy but also impacts on behaviour. These juices are also very acidic in nature and should not be included in lunch boxes. Diluted freshly squeezed juices are preferable and most important is water consumption. Water A lack of water impairs short term memory and the ability to calculate and to focus on writing. Dehydration leads to tiredness, headaches, mood swings and lethargy. It is recommended that juices, fizzy drinks and milk are eliminated and water and unsweetened herbal teas are introduced. There are many fruity flavoured teas that have a naturally sweet taste and can be served cold as iced teas. Damaged fats Trans fats and hydrogenated fats, which are damaged fats from frying foods, are found in processed foods. Look out for these on all food labels and avoid them like the plague, as they go directly into the brain and create chaos, leaving the child feeling muddled and unable to process information. These lethal fats also affect the functioning and absorption of the essential fats. Cutting out these brain drainers will go a long way in improving your child’s mental abilities and overall wellbeing. These simple steps will assist your child to better focus on their schoolwork and so result in a happier and healthier child.

Parenting Hub

Your Role In Your Child’s Education

from Foundation Phase to Intermediate Phase The Parent: The first step, as a parent, is realising that your child is not an independent learner during foundation and intermediate phase. This implies that your child needs to be taught and helped in their learning. The second step is to realise that your role is to teach, guide and assist your child in their educational, physical, emotional and social development. This role is critical to your child’s growth. Your child cannot progress positively without your assistance. The third step is acknowledging that it is vital that you work with the teacher so that your child progresses successfully through school. Homework should be guided and checked by you. If your child is battling with concepts, you should work with them until they understand the concepts and can work with them independently. The parent, the phases and the teacher: Foundation phase: this phase is about developing a solid base of knowledge for your child and helping them further themselves in the school environment and life. Foundation phase is all about the basics in educational knowledge. Remember that your child has never been exposed to these concepts. They need to learn them and learn how to apply them. They need to be assisted at home to build a strong foundational knowledge that will assist them through school and later lead them to becoming independent learners. It is your job to reinforce the knowledge taught at school and to ensure that your child understands, and can apply, the concepts introduced by the teacher. Intermediate phase: this phase is about using foundational concepts to build their knowledge and learn new concepts. A child with strong foundational skills is more likely to succeed in this phase, and to develop a sense of independent learning. Your role as a parent in this phase is to guide and instruct your child, and for them to attempt the work individually without your continuous involvement. This does not mean your child is expected to work unassisted, but that they are required to work for periods independently, knowing that you are available should they get stuck. This phase teaches them how to use their previous knowledge to learn new concepts. Your child is now at a stage where they are learning to work independently and develop their skills, but they are still reliant on the teacher and yourself to teach, instruct, and help them. The parent and the teacher: The teacher’s role is to introduce and practice new concepts in school. It is your role to practice these at home, and to bring to the teachers attention any concepts your child cannot grasp. This is followed by a teamwork approach between the teacher and yourself. This may include extra lessons or extra work to do at home. This is time consuming but essential. The teacher cannot do this individually and relies on you as a parent to be involved in your child’s education. Some tips for Parents: If you are unsure of the concepts yourself ask the teacher to show you – remember the teacher works with these concepts constantly. If you are unsure how to teach or reinforce concepts at home, ask the teacher for tips, methods or recommendations. If your child is struggling, make notes and bring these to the teachers attention. Do not leave concepts that your child does not understand for the teacher to address – work with the teacher. If your child is struggling, invest in extra lessons – do not wait until the later grades for tutoring, because then the child has to return to the basics in order to understand the current concepts. Homework should be done in the afternoon. Do not wait until the evenings – most children are tired and unable to focus. If you are unable to do this ask a relative or friend. Another option is to hire someone who can assist your child. Also look into aftercare facilities that offer homework assistance. Do not ignore or underestimate the importance of the foundation phase. Intermediate phase homework should be guided, and the child should be able to do some of the work independently. By the end of grade 6 a child should be able to do the majority of their homework independently, but may still require some assistance.

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10 Things To Do With Children Who Don’t Take Disappointment Well

Eight year old David is playing a board game with his sister. Everything is going along well until the girl wins. David gets mad and a meltdown ensues. In another common scenario, five year old Sarah is watching a cartoon on her mother’s iPad. Mom tells Sarah that it’s time to leave and she shuts off the iPad. Sarah throws herself on the floor and begins screaming. Before I go further with this problem, please take note that this or any of my other articles are not substitutes for family therapy. They contain basic parenting advice for common situations. If your child is demonstrating serious challenging behaviours it is always a good idea to seek out the advice of a behaviour health professional. Start with your child’s paediatrician to determine appropriate next steps. From toddler to school age, the kind of behaviour I described in the first paragraph can drive parents nuts. Their first response is often scolding, sympathy, or even lecturing. I’ve seen many parents go right to the child and begin rationalising with them that their response to the loss or the end of an activity was unnecessary and over the top. The parents mean well as they try to reason with the upset child that it’s “no big deal,” or that there will be a next time. But trying to change a child’s perspective in the heat of the moment while they are experiencing intense emotion is usually a waste of time. What’s most important in that moment is: For you to remain calm and quiet Sooth or comfort the child if you can Keep them safe from harm caused by the physical aspect of their outburst The better time to reason with a child is after the emotion has subsided and they can actually hear you and think clearly The actual causes of this kind of behaviour could be many. From personality trait, temperament, a lack of parental boundaries, or even physiological influences such as hunger and fatigue. It could also be just a phase the child is going through at the moment.  The most important thing you can do as a parent is: To learn the patterns of when this sort of behaviour occurs. Take note of what the activity was, the time of day, and any events just prior to the explosive-like behaviour  Keeping a journal will help if you decide to seek help from a therapist or counsellor Use this information to: Plan your child’s activities to minimise the outbursts Stay one step ahead of them by setting up clear boundaries for your child with visual limitations on play Invite your child to help you determine how long an activity will occur and plan out transitions between activities by including your child in the planning stage Visual timers and schedules work well because your child can see who much time is left before transition occurs, or they can see the activities that will be taking place. Provide encouragement when your child does not get angry at an outcome. Bring their attention to how well they transitioned and ask them open-ended questions that lead them to their own conclusion about how things turned out.

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Learning To Love After Loss

I’m the mother of two boys, both dark haired, big eyed and extremely precious to me. The only thing is; only one is with me, the other is with the angels. I’m by no means naïve, I knew babies didn’t always make it through the 9 month gestation period. I’ve read up on the subject and have met people who lost their kids, it just never occurred to me, that it could happen to me. I didn’t know that over 6 months into my pregnancy when the room was all done, the car seat ready, and I’d seen a 3D scan, that my baby could die, not mine. I had good medical aid, and he was in a state of the art Neonatal Unit, but still my son died. In 2011 my husband, Robin,  and I were excited beyond belief at the prospect of being parents, although he was away at police college he kept in contact almost constantly as we planned our lives as a family. But one evening, March 5, the day Robin returned from college, the unthinkable happened; I suffered a placental abruption. The placental lining had separated from my uterus. This extremely rare occurrence (1% of pregnancies world wide)  often ends in death for both mother and child and that was very nearly the case for my son, Logan, and I. I had gone into hospital complaining of stomach cramps, but things quickly deteriorated.  In the end I had lost so much blood they had feared for my life as much as they did Logan’s. My husband was even told to prepare himself for the worst as it didn’t look like either of us would make it. Well in the end, I did, thanks to the fast reaction of the medical team, a blood transfusion and lots of prayer. I’m told a prayer circle was formed in the waiting room of the hospital, through social networks and even my co-workers came together after hearing the news. Unfortunately Logan passed away a day later from bleeding on the brain. March 7 2012, the day my life changed forever. His life, albeit a short one, made quite the impact. Suddenly I was not the mother I had planned to be. My friends who had been pregnant at the same time I was, found themselves in a precarious, “let’s not look too excited” situation. No one really knew how to react to me, some saying the most hurtful things in the name of love. “You can always try again”, “You are still young”, “I’m sure you will get over this” were phrases I dreaded, but heard all too often. All I really wanted was someone to be okay with me talking about my son, for his life to be validated in some way, and for people to make it “okay to grieve” but that was not always the case. When I got pregnant again, many people thought it was too soon and weren’t afraid to let me know. Others thought they were “home free” and could now say anything they wanted seeing as I was pregnant again, and would now be over “what had happened”. But being pregnant didn’t make things easier in fact now that the rose tinted glasses were shattered, I lived in fear. Every cough or cold or “just not feeling okay” freaked me out beyond belief. To make it worse I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was somehow cheating on Logan.I was in and out of the doctor’s office making sure everything was okay. At the same time one of the people closest to me in the world, my Godmother, was diagnosed with cancer. The nine months I was pregnant were the same nine months that would be her last. She passed away and was buried the day after my baby, Aidan, was born. The birth was supposed to be pretty straight forward, but nothing ever is. Despite being booked for a caesarean I went into labor, which was not ideal as my womb was so scarred, they worried that it might tear. So my second son’s birth didn’t bring with it the sigh of relief I was expecting, instead I was told that he was born unable to breath, he had fluid on his lungs and was rushed to NICU (an incubator away from where Logan died). I can still remember how my blood ran ice cold at the news and I found myself unable to breath. I couldn’t believe that history was repeating itself in this callous fashion. I ended up having to stay in hospital for almost two weeks while Aidan learnt to breathe on his own. It was the longest time of my life, the little arrow on his breathing apparatus would sink just a little and I’d expect the worst. My baby was subjected to pipes and drips and a multitude of tests which included a lumbar puncture. All these fears of the unknown made it difficult for me to bond with him, I was afraid to love and have that love ripped away again. Even the fact that I couldn’t breastfeed made me feel like a failure, it was like my body was failing me again, maybe I wasn’t cut out for this “mother thing”. I kept on trying to breastfeed – I guess it’s the only thing I could do while his life was in the hands of doctors and God. Home remedies were followed by medication and endless cold nights in the hospital pumping room to get the milk flowing. Even when we finally brought him home I felt a little out of my depth, and with Aidan being colicky my emotions were even harder to control. He would just scream and cry and fuss and nobody could tell me why. My cruel mind told me it was because I was an awful mother, no wonder his brother was taken away. Turns out he suffered from reflux and because of the issues with his chest he needed to use a nebulizer when sick-a tough situation to say the least. I couldn’t sleep, I’d watch

Parenting Hub

Healthy Habits For Families

How much time do you really spend together as a family? We are all overscheduled including our kids but it is possible to make the time and focus on goals together. Part of your responsibility as a parent is to teach your child how to lead a healthy life. Little changes to your family’s routine can have a huge impact on their health. Try incorporating a few of these suggestions into your daily life and you will be surprised at the big difference they will make to your family’s well- being. Exercise Together Make exercise part of everyday life. We all know that exercise is essential to help children develop healthy minds and bodies as well as encourage gross motor development. Take a walk, swim or go for a bike ride together. Encourage your children to participate in team sports or martial arts.  Children who are physically active tend to be healthier, happier (with better self-esteem and self-confidence), and better learners, since physical activity improves their ability to focus and concentrate. Eat Well Encourage healthy food habits. Pay attention to the kinds of food you buy. Have plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables available and limit the amount of ‘junk food’ they eat. Avoid soft drinks and sports drinks and make water the drink of choice in your home. Involve your children in the preparation of the food for the family. They will be more interested in what they are eating if they are part of the process. It will require patience on your side but the benefits are that your child is learning a skill and you are spending quality time with them. Eat meals together as a family whenever possible. Create a ritual of having dinner together and encouraging conversation and sharing of information.  This also encourages you to have healthy food at the table and at least you know what your children are eating. Have Some Chill Time Share some relaxation time. With our overscheduled lives, downtime doesn’t come naturally anymore. Plan some quiet family time where you can all take a moment and de-stress. Read, write, listen to music or just sit and talk. Take dessert or a cup of tea into the family room and listen to music, play a board game, or just sit and talk. This helps create some peace in the home and gives everyone a chance to reflect on their lives. Limit Screen Time Monitor and limit the time your child spends playing video games, watching TV and on the computer and internet.   Do not allow a TV or computer in your child’s room. Set limited times for TV and computer time and be sure to enforce this. Be a good example and don’t watch too much yourself.  Exposure to too much TV can lead to behavioural problems, obesity and irregular sleep. Sleep is essential. Make sure the whole family gets enough sleep. Establish good bedtime routines and limit stimulation around bedtime. When we sleep we rest, and our body is able to renew its energy. Be positive. Show warmth and love in your family and be grateful for what you have. This will help your child be comfortable with who they are and allow them to feel compassion and understanding for others.  Be aware of the good things that your child does and let them know you appreciate this behaviour. Get Out There Be in nature together and get outdoors. Go hiking or camping or just for a walk on the beach. Kids who spend time in nature learn how to respect the earth, and the importance of living in balance with our natural environment. It’s fun and healthy – for parents, too! Kids learn by example so be a good role model. If you have a hard time keeping up your new healthy habit and slip up, don’t give yourself a hard time, just make a better decision next time and keep it up. Most of all lighten up and have fun and laugh together.

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