Advice Column - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Mommy Meltdowns

Yesterday I completely lost it with my child. Yes, it was over potty training. After being so good the previous day and using the big toilet, he pooped in his pants. I was just angry. H ow can he be so good and we are back to square one the very next day? I was so frustrated and angry as I did all the cleaning up it took me a while to calm down and say sorry to him. Sorry that I lost my temper. Sorry that I expect you to grow up all at once. Sorry that I expect things to go smoothly: that I expect you to learn this thing immediately. Sorry that I get frustrated cleaning up the sh** life throws at me, that I expect it all to be clean and neat. When in reality life is messy, confusing and it takes time for me to learn something, just like you. I’ve written about toddler tantrums before, and I think we accept that tantrums are part and parcel of this time, that little brains are still developing and can’t process emotions like we can. What is really humbling through, is that as adults we are every bit as vulnerable to loosing our tempers. We shouldn’t, but we do. And how terrifying would it be for a little kid to see Mom yelling and losing it, when we are meant to be the role models regulating our emotions? So I’ve put together some pointers for a Mommy Meltdown: when you feel yourself losing it, follow these pointers, maybe you’ll have more success than me. Breathe. Count. Pray. Exit. Give yourself space – if you need to leave the room to calm down, do it. If you need to distract yourself with something else e.g. a book or your phone, do it. Just give yourself the space you need to calm down. Change your expectations. A lot of my problems are because I am incorrectly assuming things about my son’s ability at this age. Yesterday I woke him up from his nap for swimming. Big mistake. All he wanted to do was sleep and I actually had to go home. Should I really be expecting perfection with potty training? Probably not. Track your triggers. I wrote a post about the Orange Rhino project before and how I drew up a chart and tracked what was making me mad. I found out that the later in the day it was, the more I was losing it. This helped for structuring my day (e.g. cooking in the morning). Me time. This is the most important. I went away for most of Saturday for the SA Mom blog relaunch. I came back and I had so much more energy to give to him! Don’t lose it, use it. Anger can be an opportunity to see why you are getting so upset. Chat to another mom, have a vent, figure out why this is bothering you so much. Often there is a connection to yourself. I have recently been so irritated with Nicky’s clingy behaviour but it has also opened me up to my own helicopter parenting tendencies. Apologise: Even if we do lose it, it’s a chance for us to show our kids that we do make mistakes and we are capable of saying sorry. In the same way we expect them to say sorry too. If you’re having a mommy meltdown, take heart: you are not the only one. Just remember to learn from it so that you can do better than a tantrum toddler next time!

October 14, 2015

Food Fun For Fussy Families

If you think that everyone is going to love food as much as you, you’re wrong. Some of us just have no interest in the stuff other than to fill the gap. In fact, balance in a family almost dictates that if one person really loves food there will be someone else who doesn’t value it at all. So fine for us adults, we can take our chances with sub-par nutrition, but what if your little one is refusing all but their favourite five? Here are some tips for getting your kids to develop a healthier and broader view of food and to help the fussier ones to expand their palates. Get your child onto a good multivitamin. That way you can relax about their nutritional balance and take the fight out of mealtimes. The first step to expanding your child’s love of food is to make food something that is fun, relaxed, and choice-driven. Never force a child to eat something. Get your kids involved with the cooking. Cook, bake and generally have fun in the kitchen together. Even if they don’t eat what you’ve prepared together they will start to have positive associations with food. Start a veggie garden. Let your child have their own patch of garden where they can grow a variety of vegetables and fruit. Understanding where food comes from and experiencing the joy of your first harvest can go a long way to enticing kids to eat things out of their comfort zone. Enjoy your food. Yes, you. The more they see you enjoying a variety of foods, the more likely they are to try something new in the future. Eat meals together. Comment on your food – point out what you like about it – the colours, texture, flavours. Pretend that you are a food critic who has just received the most amazing meal ever and let them know why. If you don’t enjoy food then start by examining your own relationship to food before you address your child’s. Make sure your kids understand digestion. Read books together, find fun documentaries, discuss what happens when your food leaves your mouth. Use metaphors for the little ones if necessary, but get your kids to have a thorough understanding of their own bodies and WHY they need to eat a variety of foods. Show them other kids enjoying food. Let them eat with other children, invite kids over, watch Masterchef Junior, have cooking parties. Keep presenting new foods to your child. Even if they only eat their favourite few, just keep offering them some variety. Something at some point will pique their interest, particularly if they keep seeing you enjoying it. Don’t make a big fuss when this happens – just let it be a normal, natural thing for a child to eventually start broadening their reach. Give your kids some control. Children will sometimes use food as a control if the rest of their lives feel out of control or if they are lacking in independence. Make sure that your children have choices in their lives. Keep as much routine as possible when going through major life changes (death, divorce, moving house/schools, holidays, new babies etc). Make sure that the food issue isn’t just a symptom of something else. Food aversions often occur alongside other disorders such as autism, sensory integration issues, stress, other medical conditions. If you’re not sure, have your child checked by an Occupational Therapist, Gastroenterologist, Psychologist, Neurologist or Dietician. Have fun with food. Help your kids to see the joy of food outside of just eating it. Food is a full sensory experience – give them opportunities to explore it as such. Set up a still-life and let them paint a beautiful picture of food, let them sculpt with mashed potatoes, let them roll around in a tub of jelly, make potato stamps. Play games where you identify food by smell or touch. Have a food fight. Keep in mind that there is a difference between a fussy child and a child with food aversion. A fussy child will probably eat eventually if you just don’t offer their favourites and they get hungry enough, but a child with a food aversion will literally starve before trying something new. But whichever one your child is, every child can be enticed to branch out a bit when you add some love and fun into the food mix.

October 13, 2015

Imperial Road Safety, the Western Cape Department of Transport and Public Works, and KFM Breakfast bring Car Seats for Kids campaign to Cape Town!

Car Seats for Kids campaign embarks on collection and redistribution drive in Cape Town. Monday, 05 October 2015 – This October, in the spirit of National Transport Month and very importantly – Child Safety Month, Imperial Road Safety will be bringing their renowned Car Seats for Kids campaign to Cape Town. Imperial has partnered with the Western Cape Department of Transport and Public Works, as well as KFM Breakfast, to bring this exceptional road safety campaign to the region – following three consecutive, successful years in Johannesburg. “We believe that Cape Town is a region that boasts a spirit of giving back and as such, we will be bringing this great project to the region, expanding the campaign’s reach and driving further, national awareness,” says Niki Cronje, Group Marketing at IMPERIAL. Through this campaign, Imperial aims to contribute towards child safety on the roads by encouraging the donation of car seats by the public, which are then restored, safety checked and redistributed, to provide those children, who do not have a car seat or whose families can’t afford a new one, with the gift of safety. “We are thrilled to partner with IMPERIAL Road Safety on this worthwhile and crucial initiative. There are too often indications of the absence of child restraints amongst child passengers killed in the Western Cape, where road deaths per capita are approximately 38% lower than in South Africa in general. Children who are unrestrained, even on an adult’s lap, will be seriously injured or killed, even in a slight collision. We continue to appeal to parents and caregivers to buckle young children up in appropriate car seats to help prevent injury and death in a crash. Age-appropriate car seats are effective because the car seat harness and vehicle seatbelt are positioned over the parts of a child’s body that are most likely to absorb the force of a crash,” said Donald Grant, Western Cape Minister of Transport and Public works. “Our Safely Home campaign will be focusing on child road safety over the month of October, under the hashtag #SaveKidsLives, educating the public on how to protect our children against unnecessary injury. I am confident that our joint efforts will yield positive results, and save more and more young lives.” ”As a leader in mobility, we aim to educate consumers around the importance of car seats and strapping our children in, as well as to provide access to car seats for those that can’t afford them or haven’t yet realised their importance. This campaign comes at a critical time; Not only are road crash statistics are at their highest, but government have implemented new legislation that states that all children under the age of three need to be strapped into a suitable car seat and of course, is well aligned to Child Safety Month in Cape Town.” For road safety initiatives to make a real difference however, businesses and government need to join forces to effect change, and the Car Seats for Kids campaign is no exception. In light of this, the Cape Town Department of Transport and Public Works has endorsed this campaign within the region and have partnered with Imperial in the awareness drive towards safer roads for all. Furthermore, KFM Breakfast has come on board as the official media partner, aiding Imperial in driving awareness within the Cape Town region and encouraging consumers to get involved and donate their used car seats. Ryan O’Connor, KFM Breakfast Show Host says: “As a parent, I play a key role in keeping my child safe on the roads and feel privileged to be part of such a worthy campaign. During Transport Month and in the run-up to the festive season, I encourage you to join me – get involved in the KFM Breakfast Car Seats for Kids drive with Imperial and help protect our kids on the roads.” Imperial Road Safety is also proud to announce that it has partnered with some of South Africa’s most successful automotive brands within their group, to give the public a number of easily accessible drop off-points nationwide. Through this partnership, consumers – across the country – are now able to drop-off their old car seats at any of Imperial’s Hyundai, Kia and Renault dealers from 01 – 31 October 2015. Alternatively, they can drop these off at any of the activation points* during this time. In addition, to help manage the day to day collection and storage of the donated car seats, Imperial Logistics has come on board as the logistics partner, spreading the gift of safety across South Africa – a key function for a campaign of this nature. “There is no doubt that extending the reach of this campaign is critical in driving broader awareness and we are so excited that, this year, consumers from around the country can donate their car seats – regardless of the fact that the main activation will take place in Cape Town.” “Child safety on our roads is a key pillar of society, not to be left only in the hands of parents, but South Africans at large. We therefore are ecstatic that the department of transport has come on board and that together we are able to appeal to the public to go on and make a difference to a family in need by donating their used car seats this Transport and Child Safety Month,” concludes Cronje. The campaign will be at a number of Cape Town malls and schools – between 06h00 – 18h00, during October* on the following dates: Tygervalley Mall: Monday, 5 October 2015 Blue Route Mall: Tuesday, 6 October 2015 Table View Shopping Centre: Wednesday, 7 October 2015 Somerset Mall: Thursday, 8 October 2015 Ratanga Junction: Friday, 9 October 2015 Tygervalley Mall: Monday, 12 October 2015 Silverlea Primary: Tuesday, 13 October 2015 Table View Primary: Wednesday, 14 October 2015 Paarl Gymnasium Primary: Thursday, 15 October 2015 Ratanga Junction parking: Friday, 16 October 2015 For more information please visit the Imperial website by clicking here

October 12, 2015

Tips To Get You Back In Shape This Summer

New moms often struggle to find any time for themselves. Between what seems like constant feeding, changing and washing, exercise is the last thing on your mind. Yet, getting back into shape is not about maintaining a perfect physique but keeping your energy and fitness levels on par with the increased demands of your new mommy life. Skechers, the globally trusted brand behind Skechers GOwalk 3 walking shoes, believes that a few minutes of focused walking in a week can be a game changer for a new mom that may be descending into burnout or post-baby blues: Get moving when you can – You don’t need to belong to a gym, you don’t need to fit in with a schedule of classes, and you don’t need a completely new wardrobe to get started. You can pick up your house keys, put on your walking shoes, and get out there, whenever it suits you. If you’re a working mom, take your walking break during your lunch hour – you’ll be extra-refreshed and alert when you return to your desk. A few minutes is all you need – You don’t need to be out walking for hours. A 30 minute brisk walk five days a week will help you lose weight, boost your fitness and strengthen your heart. If 30 minutes sounds like a long time, start with 10 minutes, and build up to longer time frames over a week or two. Find a space that relaxes you – Walking in a park or green space can help reduce depression and raise self-esteem, especially when you’ve spent your maternity leave serving the needs of another at the expense of your own. Don’t forget your tummy – You’ll get the best results if you tighten your tummy muscles while you’re walking. This will help you walk up straight, and help your breathing too. Walking isn’t just about your legs – It’s about your arms too! Swinging them as you walk tones the muscles in your arms, shoulders and upper back, and while you may not get Obamarms just from walking, it’ll be a good start… Invest in proper walking shoes – When you’re trying them on make sure that your toes have room to wiggle and that your heels don’t slip. Choose a shoe that’s lightweight and flexible too. Track your progress – You can choose an app on your mobile phone. You’ll be able to track your distance covered as well as your time, and you can set new goals for yourself too. Check if walking saves you money – Many medical aids offer loyalty points for tracking your activity with a pedometer, so chances are you could save yourself some money through the discounts they offer as a reward for investing in your health. Keep things interesting – Walk different routes every day. Ringing the changes will also mean that you don’t make yourself vulnerable to criminal elements who monitor your movements. Vary your pace too and the landscape – Hills may seem daunting, but they’ll work your glutes and burn more calories, while sprint walking between landmarks will add to variety and alleviate boredom too. Find a friend to walk with – If you’re feeling isolated, walking time could be a great way to catch up with your partner or close friend without any other distractions.

October 9, 2015

A Simple Solution To Sleep

If your child is anything like my children, early morning is what it is all about. It seems to be the question every mother asks… how can I get my child to sleep longer. Obviously there is no simple fix and this is simply something that parents deal with each day. However, once your child reaches the age of being able to understand their little world around them, there certainly are solutions available to aid in getting that lie in that you have been dreaming of. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love clever products. I love innovation and products that can truly change and assist my world. My youngest set of twins were very keen to try this product when it was sent through for us to review. Not only do we battle to keep them in their beds each night, but I have not personally slept late in a long time! Bring on…. The Gro Company GroClock. Firstly my twins loved the idea of them having a clock in their bedroom, especially one that changes all the time and they were keen to give our test run a go. The GroClock is really appealing to the eye and it provides a simple yet affective function. Anything and everything has been thought out when putting this product together. So how does it work? The basic function of the GroClock is to indicate to your child when it is time to go to bed and when it is time to get up each day. The colour and changing display, changes throughout the night. Starting at a warm blue, which is particularly calming for a child’s bedrooms through to sunrise orange and then a little ray of sunshine indicates when it is time for your child to get up in the morning. The GroClock has various settings that you can enable. Not only do you set the sleep and wake up mode but you are able to add additional settings for a day-time nap. The screen brightness is also adjustable ensuring that your child is not disturbed by other night lights. The recommended age for the GroClock is from 2 years +, and is definitely a must for all parents. Available at leading baby stores and online retail outlets like the BabyGroup or visit their Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/ElegantBambino

October 9, 2015

Picture Perfect: The Pressure On Girls & Woman To Look Perfect

I had seen a movie clip of Dustin Hoffman getting emotional during an interview about the movie “Tootsie”, in which he had to dress up and act like a woman. He said he thought that the character he played was an interesting woman – one that he (as a man) would’ve enjoyed meeting. However, because she was unattractive (in the eyes of society), in all honesty he probably wouldn’t have looked twice at her. He said that he felt terrible when he thought of all the potentially fascinating, interesting women out there who could’ve enriched his life if he’d only been able to look past their physical appearance. This got me thinking: Why do we place so much value on looks, especially when it comes to girls and women? Yes, we do with boys and men too, but they seem to have a bit more leeway – “He’s not great looking BUT he has such a lovely sense of humour!” or “He may not be gorgeous, BUT he’s really intelligent and hard working.” I don’t believe it’s only men who judge women by their appearance either – we’re even more critical of ourselves and of each other! I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been with a group of women and one has exclaimed: “Wow, what a gorgeous woman!” and someone else has said: “Yes, but… look at her shoes OR those boobs are definitely not real OR I really don’t like those pants!…” Why this need to tear each other down? It’s almost an inherent insecurity we’ve bought into because few of us fit into that image of perfection society tells us we should live up to. In a Forbes magazine article entitled: “Why most women will never become CEO”, the male writer says: “Guys are still checking out the girls in the office. I see their body language noticeably change whenever a pretty female employee enters the room. Words, thoughts and important points are missed because of a new perfume or a low cut blouse. It works the other way too. The less attractive female employees are also frequently ignored…for the opposite reason. Men are still trying to take women seriously in the workplace. But most haven’t progressed beyond the maturity level of my teenage son and his friends. But that’s just the beginning. Women also have more personal and social pressures than men. And this affects their ability to further their careers and get the experience they need to become good managers.” The media fixation on gorgeous female fashion models, actresses, singers and other celebrities doesn’t help matters. We compare ourselves to them and usually fall short. Even if we’re told we’re attractive, we find it hard to believe because we aren’t as skinny, successful, or as perfect as them. We do this despite the fact that some of these celebrities are hopeless role models, shallow and narcissistic, often displaying inane and pathetic behaviour. It starts when we’re little girls – the pretty ones get most of the attention, and continues through our painful teenage years when so many young girls develop eating disorders, start cutting, or begin other unhealthy habits trying so desperately to be accepted and fit into society’s norm. Statistics from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery from 2012 corroborate this desperate need by women to be perceived as attractive: 90% of all cosmetic procedures were performed on women. Of those, the most common surgical cosmetic procedure was breast augmentation (330 631 procedures) and the most common non-surgical procedure was botox injections (3 257 913 procedures). I think it’s all totally ridiculous and the buck stops with US – with women! We aren’t going to be taken seriously by men until we show them that WE value each other’s strength, intelligence, kindness, nurturing spirit and emotional expression more than we value a perfect size 8 with C cup boobs and a cellulite-free bod! Let’s celebrate our uniqueness and individuality rather than buying into this ridiculous “Stepford Wives” ideal. We should be looking up to women who have made or are making a difference in this world – like the late Audrey Hepburn (who worked tirelessly for UNICEF), Oprah Winfrey (not just because of her enormous success but because of what she had to overcome to achieve it), Rosa Parks (who exemplified courage), Marie Curie (Nobel Prize winner), Katharine Hepburn, Eleanor Roosevelt and how about our very own icons like Helen Zille and Redi Thlabi. These are beautiful women not just because of their physical appearance but because of what they have inside and what they stand for – women with the confidence to be themselves – women with gumption!

October 8, 2015

Nutritional Deficiencies: Know the Signs 

You might think nutrient deficiencies are a thing of the past, reserved for sailors trapped at sea. But even today, it’s possible to lack some of the essential nutrients your body needs to function optimally. Nutrient deficiencies alter bodily functions and processes such as water balance, enzyme function, nerve signalling, digestion and metabolism. Resolving deficiencies is important for optimal growth, development and function. Nutrient deficiencies can also lead to other diseases. For example, calcium and vitamin D deficiencies can cause osteopenia or osteoporosis, two conditions marked by brittle bones and inadequate iron can cause anaemia, which zaps your energy. Tell-tale symptoms are usually the first clue that you might be low in one or more important vitamins or minerals. In this newsletter we’ll try to help you detect nutritional deficiencies since knowing what to look for is part of the battle. Who is most at risk of nutrient deficiencies? A healthy diet can provide all a growing body needs, but the reality of our busy lifestyles and sometimes finicky eating habits can lead to a nutrient deficiency. Even if you do eat well, other factors – such as your age, lifestyle and certain health conditions (digestive issues e.g. Coeliac Disease) – can impact your body’s ability to absorb the nutrients in your food. Nutrient requirements are also increased during different stages of the lifecycle when the body calls for additional vitamins and minerals. Teenagers Rapid growth during adolescence requires extra nutrients to provide in the baby’s increased demands. These increased needs, coupled with dysfunctional eating or poor eating habits due to peer pressure, erratic eating times and increased activity levels, make adolescents the ideal candidates for supplementation. Elderly The aging process may increase the need for some nutrients due to the fact that the elderly do not always eat enough of the right kinds of food or that the body is no longer able to absorb nutrients effectively. Elderly are very often at risk of developing zinc deficiency. Smoking Even moderate smoking can reduce the body’s vitamin C level significantly. Should one smoke in excess of 20 cigarettes per day vitamin C levels can be reduced by as much as 40%. Alcohol Excessive alcohol intake will not only enable you to dance naked on table tops at parties, but can also interfere with the body’s ability to absorb B complex vitamins such as thiamine. Exercise programmes Intensive exercise regimes may increase the need for anti-oxidants, B-vitamins and protein. When a weight reducing diet is combined with an increase in exercise levels, nutrient needs are increased even more, especially that of the B complex vitamins. Stress – Living in the fast lane Busy lifestyle as well as high stress levels can increase your body’s demand for certain nutrients and if not met can cause nutritional deficiencies. Restricted diets Individuals that avoid certain foods like in the case of food allergies or intolerances or have dietary restrictions for example vegetarians may miss out on essential nutrients. Vegetarians are especially at risk of developing vitamin B12, zinc, iron or calcium deficiency. Weight loss programmes Individuals who are often on weight-reducing diets may find it difficult to meet the recommended level of nutrient intake for their age. This is especially the case if you eat less than 1600kcal a day – placing you at risk of nutrient deficiencies. Most weight loss plans are less than the above-mentioned number of calories and therefore warrant the use of nutritional supplements such as a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement. Medication Certain medications interfere with the absorption of nutrients e.g. long term Metformin usage (seen in Type 2 Diabetics, Insulin resistance and PCOS) increases the risk of vitamin B12 deficiency. Regular measurements of vitamin B12 blood levels during long term treatment should preferably performed to detect possible deficiency. Women using oral contraceptive agents (the pill) could experience low levels of several vitamins – especially vitamin B2, niacin, vitamin B6, folic acid and vitamin C. Laxatives can reduce the absorption of fat-soluble vitamin A, D and E. Meanwhile, soil quality, storage time and processing can significantly influence the levels of certain nutrients in your food, such that even healthy produce may not be as nutrient-rich as you may think. Know the signs: Nutrient deficiencies can be sneaky, unless you are seriously deficient for some time, you may notice no symptoms at all, leading you to believe (falsely) that your body is getting all the nutrition you need. Thankfully our body gives us small warning signs, helping us figure out what nutrients we might be missing out on. Eye, hair, nail, mouth and skin symptoms are among the early outward warning signs of vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Here’s how to recognise common nutrient deficiencies. Hands If you tend to have very cold hands it may indicate magnesium deficiency or perhaps could be a symptom related to hypothyroidism or chronic fatigue. Nails If you have small white spots in your nails it may indicate the deficiency of minerals but more often, it indicates zinc deficiency. A zinc deficiency is also indicated by longitudinal ridges on the nails. While transverse ridges could be indicative of a protein deficiency. If your nails are soft or brittle it is a possible sign of magnesium deficiency. Interestingly, if you bite your nails it is usually because your body is low in minerals. Hair Coarse, dry and brittle hair is often caused by zinc and/or vitamin A deficiency. While dandruff could be due to a deficiency in vitamins B2, B6, zinc, magnesium, biotin. Greying of the hair is usually a sign of the times but it can also be exacerbated by a deficiency in folic acid, pantothenic acid, biotin and minerals. Hair loss can be caused by a lack of protein, zinc, vitamin B6, selenium, biotin. Skin Dry skin in general is caused by a deficiency of vitamins A, C and essential fatty acids. If you have B-vitamin deficiency, your skin on your face and sides of the nose will be greasy red scaly. Seborrheic dermatitis around your

October 8, 2015

Making Time For Your Children When Working In The Corporate World

For those people who know me well, they will know that I call a spade a spade and what you see is what you get….in other words I say it like it is! That way I get things off my chest and can move on, so that I can cope with the next thing that comes my way. There is no fluff! Reason I am saying this is because I think it is important to be honest with other women who are in the same boat as me, trying to juggle many balls and still be that perfect mother, wife and friend along the way! This way we can relate better to each other and perhaps find some comfort within each other’s crazy life of “being a working mother”. All full time working mothers will know that planning is key! Being organised and writing lists, checking and rechecking those famous lists and being a magician are the key ingredients to making it work! Oh not to forget one must have a sense of humour and 27 hours in a day! Thinking on one’s feet and making arrangements along the way is crucial. I am a problem solver at work and at home. It is a slight military operation to keep it all together! Who can relate? I am sure many….. Last night I was at work until 8.15pm and I only got home after 8.45pm. My daughter was already asleep and my son waiting up for me. After a busy and stressful day juggling client meetings, a board meeting and managing all the projects I am busy with, honestly I was hoping both kids would be asleep ( how bad is that!) when I got home so I could put my feet up in peace for five minutes before I started to pack their bags for the next day, sign all the notices, wrap the presents for the parties, finish a project, find something for show and tell and diarise all the rest of the activities and requirements for the rest of the week! Shew….. Although I know in my heart that I am doing my very best and more, guilt still constantly eats me up and yes at times I do overcompensate with the kids because of this! Just ask my husband! Yes this life is exhausting and I am not perfect. There are times when I feel like I can’t get out of bed and that I need a break and there are days that I just want to crawl under the duvet when the alarm goes off at 5.15am! I love my family first and foremost, but I also love my work and wouldn’t have things any other way! I feel that personally I am a better mother when I am kept busy, stimulated and I feel more motivated the busier I am…believe it or not I do love my crazy life! However when I am not working, I try to spend as much time as possible with my kids. The week-ends are super important and sacred to us. Usually we take the kids out on a Friday evening to enjoy a meal together as a family with Saturdays being filled up with kid’s parties and some general admin that I can’t seem to get to during the week! My son and my husband both share a love for off road motor biking and spend most Sunday mornings loading up the bikes and on the track at Zone 7 just outside of Cape Town, whilst my daughter is a real homebody and mommy’s girl so is quite happy to chill with me and tag along to have a coffee and do a spot of shopping. Girly stuff generally. I also get roped into playing Barbie’s and building Lego (which I must say I love!) with the two of them. The kids love this one on one time. We try to take the kids to school most mornings and that is our special time to chat in the car. I also try to plan my diary to allow for me to fetch them both at least once a week from school. This is often a surprise for them. To see their happy faces when they see me at the gate, brings tears to my eyes. During the week, when we get home at a decent hour we make time to catch up with the kids about their day and read stores together before bed time. My kids have always had both parents working and don’t really know any different. I am lucky to have amazing support at home which I need especially as my husband commutes to Gauteng most weeks. Being a business owner, I can be flexible and make it work. I try to never miss a sports day, ballet show or gala. I still bake the cakes for the raffle (even if at 11pm!) and lift on outings (thank heavens for IPhone and email on the phone) so that my kids don’t feel it too much. These “small things” are actually a big deal for the kids and I am happy to do it. Being flexible and being able to be at all of these special occasions means that I often have to work till late at night or early in the morning catching up, but that is a small sacrifice to make, to ensure my kids are happy and well-adjusted and I like to think that they are. I hope my little ones will grow up respecting the fact that we as working parents made a lot of sacrifices to maintain a well-balanced life for them, in a warm and loving environment. Having a strong good work ethic is important to us and I want my kids to know that things don’t come easy in life. One has to work hard, be ambitious and have dreams to achieve all ones goals. That is my gift to them!

October 8, 2015

Does My Baby Need a Vitamin D supplement?

The most common cause of a vitamin D deficiency is a too low production via the skin as a consequence of insufficient exposure to sunlight due to seasonal variations, the use of sun creams, too little time spent outdoors, or wearing clothes that cover too much of the body. Furthermore, the capacity of our skin to produce vitamin D declines as we become older and among people with a darker skin. Another cause of vitamin D deficiency is insufficient absorption as a consequence of a dietary inadequacy or a less efficient absorption from the daily food intake. “While breast milk is the best source of nutrients for babies, it likely won’t provide enough vitamin D. Your baby needs vitamin D to absorb calcium and phosphorus. Too little vitamin D can cause rickets, a softening and weakening of bones. Since sun exposure — an important source of vitamin D — isn’t recommended for babies younger than 6 months, supplements are the best way to prevent vitamin D deficiency in infants” Dr Hoecker (Mayo Clinic). When giving your baby liquid vitamin D, make sure you don’t exceed the recommended amount. Carefully read the instructions that come with the supplement and use only the dropper that’s provided. Chewable and gummy vitamins that contain vitamin D are available for older children. If you have questions about your baby’s need for vitamin D supplements, consult your baby’s doctor. Colief® Vitamin D3 Drops is a food supplement rich in vitamin D3 and the ideal solution for providing the required dose of vitamin D3. Vitamin D contributes to the normal development of bones and teeth in infants and young children and to the maintenance of normal bones and teeth in mums and mums-to-be. It also helps maintain normal immune system function.

October 5, 2015

Baby Sense Adds 100% Bamboo muslin blanket to product range

100% Bamboo muslin blankets are part of the high quality Baby Sense product range. The Bamboo muslin is naturally hypoallergenic and perfect as a year-round blanket. It is silky soft to touch and its generous size means you can turn one into an impromptu stroller shade or soft place to lay your baby on. Its delicate, yet durable weave with a little bit of a stretch, allow you to wrap your baby nice and snug. The benefits of a Bamboo muslin receiver are that it is antibacterial, it absorbs more moisture than cotton, it is naturally silky to the touch, breathable and eco-friendly. About Baby Sense: At Baby Sense, everything we do is inspired by wonderful moms, and is perfected over many years. It all starts with a strong foundation of expert knowledge and practical learning, and results in beautiful, practical and well researched products that moms across the country have come to rely on. Our products and services include a range of parenting books, baby products, apps, articles, seminars and workshops plus loads of tips and advice that has all been developed by leading parenting experts. We’re all about designing products and providing information to empower parents around the world to experience this most precious and fascinating journey confidently and beautifully. For more information, visit www.babysense.com or visit our Facebook page www.facebook.com/babysense or follow us on Twitter https://twitter.com/babysense

October 2, 2015

Sardines Yuck! But they can make your baby smarter

Sardines are so crucial to your child’s development, that little tins of the stuff should be included in the baby gift bags that the hospital sends you home with. There are some aspects of motherhood that truly embody the concept of self-sacrifice. Feeding your baby sardines is at the top of this list. And while sardines may be at the bottom of the aquatic food chain, they’re the ultimate brain food for your baby. Many moms don’t go the sardine route though. They simply don’t think of it; they can’t stomach the thought, or they figure that because it’s not something they would necessarily eat themselves, they don’t see a point of feeding it to their baby. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Sardines can actually make your baby smarter. Almost 60% of our brains are made up of fat (Essential Fats, not the type of fat that makes your jeans too tight). Our brains (and the brains of our babies) are critically dependent on these Essential Fatty Acids. Simply put: your brain cannot work without them. And your baby’s brain cannot grow without them. But here is the greatest spanner in the works: your body cannot produce these Essential Fatty Acids on its own. Bummer. They unequivocally have to be obtained from dietary sources. So listen up: Unless you are feeding your child foods that contain Essential Fatty Acids, your baby’s little growing and developing body will not make this chemical on its own. Luckily, breast milk and formula take care of this, but as babies gradually drink less milk, the foods they eat will need to step up to the plate. Literally. AND THAT MEANS BRAVING THE SARDINES… MAKE NO MISTAKE: IT IS REVOLTING I won’t even try to sugar coat this. I literally gag every time I open a tin. #babyjake on the other hand cannot swallow these little fishies fast enough (he sampled his first sardine around 8 months). I consider this to be my greatest act of motherly self-sacrifice, even more so than getting up at 3am or cleaning up projectile pools of puke. So brace yourself. Because the first time your baby burps sardine in your face, you may reconsider the whole thing. But feeding your baby sardines is just another one of your must-do mommy duties. BONES AND ALL The bones in sardines are very small and soft, and dissolve when crushed. The only part of the sardine that I discard for #babyjake is the tail (just typing those words makes me nauseous). From the bones, to the skin, and even the little egg sac (yes, I actually cried real tears the first time I discovered this lurking inside the inner cavities of the sardine carcass), it all gets mushed up. I panic if a fleck of sardine actually makes skin-to-skin- contact with me. So much so that I considered wearing gloves to prepare Jake’s lunch. But the calcium benefit of the bones cannot be overlooked, so just suck it up and brave it. THEY’RE CHEAP AND CONVENIENT While recommending Wild Alaskan Salmon as the ultimate source of Omega 3’s would be affordably unrealistic, you have no excuses to steer clear of sardines. R20 – R30 per can, and they last over 3 days. You don’t need to cook anything. Just open a tin (gag reflex will kick in), mash them up with some avo and cream cheese (2 of my other favourite no-cook ingredients that create a nutritious meal in seconds). NOT ALL CANNED SARDINES ARE CREATED EQUAL So opt for the more expensive brands. I like King Oscar, available at Pick n Pay. Also be sure to buy sardines in oil, not sauce. Don’t buy a boneless variety – remember you want the calcium from the bones. Opt for olive oil rather than soybean oil. And check the ingredients for added preservatives. Some tinned sardines do have added salt, so just rinse them off before mushing. DISGUISE THE SH*T OUT OF IT Babies don’t get bored of tastes, so once you find a way to get them to swallow the sardines, stick with it. And don’t give up if your baby doesn’t seem all that eager. Persevere! #babyjake’s best sardine concoction consists of sardines, avo and cream cheese (you could even mix them in with banana and yogurt, if your baby prefers their food on the sweeter side). You may want to add some pureed veggies or fruit, just to make it more baby friendly in terms of texture and taste. You can totally cheat here, and throw in some organic jar food rather than stressing about using freshly steamed stuff, or defrosting from the freezer. Opt for simple flavours like butternut, apple or sweet potato. The Olli range is completely free of preservatives, and is a great supplementary ingredient to add to your home-made meals. If I deem it fit for #babyjake, you too can use it rest assured. ONE CAN PER WEEK WILL MEET THE QUOTA Open a tin. Take out three or four little fishies. Rinse, mash and mix with other ingredients. Store the remaining sardines in their oil, in a Tupperware, in the fridge. Use over 2 -3 days. So I open one can per week, and use it within 2-3 days. #babyjake therefore eats sardines for 2 or 3 days in a row (per week). That takes care of his weekly Omega 3 quota. BEYOND THE BRAINY BENEFITS Sardines also contain Vitamin B and iron, and are very low in mercury (often a concern with other types of fish). And believe it or not, they’re a great immune booster. SARDINES VERSUS PILCHARDS FYI: Sardines and pilchards are the same thing. Sardines are the smaller fish, whereas the larger, older ones are referred to as Pilchards. SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT SARDINES ARE GOOD FOR YOUR BABY. BUT FOR THE MOMS WHO ARE INTERESTED, HERE’S MORE TO THE SCIENCE BEHIND SARDINES (AND HOW CRUCIAL IT IS TO FEED YOUR BABY OMEGAS): Infant brain growth occurs most drastically during pregnancy and the first few years of

September 29, 2015

Getting your kids to move again… the fun way!

Global obesity is a growing problem and according to reports, childhood obesity in particular is at its worst levels ever. South African statistics show an alarming number of children are overweight or obese, similar to levels recorded in developed countries more than a decade ago. Parents record a worrying obsession with technology including cellphones, tablets, television and gaming as many of them are specifically designed for children, who seem to prefer them to being active. What’s to be done then? While overweight children are at risk of developing cardiovascular disease and other disorders in adulthood, this is not the only reason to take action and get children eating better and moving – in fact, the earlier, the better! Physical activity has a host of benefits – mental perception levels, social, physical and physiological. And to help busy families teach little ones to move like champs, Virgin Active has introduced a new fundamental movement skills programme for children aged 3 to 7 at their Club-V facilities. Called ‘Active Play’ the programme is a collaboration between the health club and Kinderkinetics at the Department of Sport Science, Stellenbosch University. Why this age group? “The phase between 2-7 years old is considered the fundamental movement phase of gross motor development, says Dr Eileen Africa, Lecturer and Head of Kinderkinetics, Department of Sport Science, Stellenbosch University Dr Africa says, “Fundamental movement skills (FMS) are important because they serve as the basis for what goes beyond. FMS are critical to establish the foundation for participation in more complex movements later in life. An active child is a happy child and a happy child becomes a healthy adult.” “The focus of Active Play is on the development of 10 fundamental movement skills,” says Catherine Coupar, National Junior Member Manager at Virgin Active. “These include running, jumping, hopping, galloping, throwing, catching, striking, kicking, static balance and dynamic balance. Each of these fundamental movement skills has two or more activities created for them. These activities are carried out in fun, short bursts, which we are calling ‘movement moments’, to kick start the children’s skills development with us.” How much ‘active is enough? The World Health Organisation (WHO) sets the guidelines for children in order to improve cardiorespiratory and muscular fitness and bone health. Children and youth aged between 5 and 17 should accumulate at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous-intensity physical activity daily. Dr Africa says, “This kind of activity used to be a normal part of childhood but the time children spend on active play is limited for the following reasons: safety issues, both parents employed, smaller gardens, toys that make a difference to activity (like bicycles) are expensive, busy lifestyles and of course technology. “Kinderkinetics,” she says, “decided to collaborate with Virgin Active on this project because it is the perfect platform to share our passion for children’s health and wellbeing. We have written the Active Play manual to help make activities in Club-V more structured and scientifically-based. We also want to make parents more aware of the type of activities that can be done to help their children.” How it works Club-V staff, who are qualified in early childhood development and paediatric first aid, have been fully trained and have their own equipment toolkit – including ladders, bean bags, cones, hula hoops and more as well as cue cards to effectively deliver the movement skills programme. The aim is to keep it fun, aspirational and interactive. Every child will get his or her own Active Play book (which stays at the club) and every time an activity is completed a tick goes onto the relevant page in their book. Once they have received all ticks for that activity, they receive a sticker for their book, as a sign of achievement of that movement skill. Once the whole book is filled up, they receive a certificate, which they take home, along with their finished book, in order to share their success with mum and dad. Rewarding progress “We will continue to add new activities every few months, which means the children start new books and continue to learn new activities to keep them stimulated and moving as well as becoming more proficient at these movement skills,” says Coupar. “In addition, we will also have extra movement and activity ideas for parents so that they can actively exercise and play at home with their children.” Active Play is now available at all Club-V facilities. Look out for the poster campaign which has as its pay off line: ‘Make friends with us. We’re learning to move, the fun way.’ So if your life is busy and time for exercise is tight but you have your child’s wellbeing at heart, make Active Play your kid’s ‘exercise companion’ to ensure your kids get moving and are active. And of course, stay happy.

September 28, 2015

Colic – Transient Lactase Deficiency

It can be incredibly distressing to hear your baby crying endlessly with colic, yet feel unable to stop it. Colic is defined as repeated episodes of excessive and inconsolable crying for at least 3 hours per day, at least 3 days per week. The condition can affect between 5 to 20% of babies typically starting in the first weeks of life and tends to resolve by three to four months. It is generally unknown what causes colic. One possible cause, which has been researched, is a transient lactase deficiency which may occur due to some babies being born with an immature digestive system. A deficiency of lactase enzyme in the small intestine results in the inability of the body to fully digest the milk-sugar lactose. This causes undigested lactose in milk to be broken down by bacterial activity in the bowel which can result in severe discomfort, bloatedness and wind. By the time the baby is 3 to 4 months old their digestive system usually develops sufficiently to produce adequate levels of lactase enzyme. Research at Cork University Hospital in the early 1990s demonstrated that a lactase-reduced feed was effective in reducing infant colic and the hours of crying. This was presented to the Royal College of Paediatricians and confirmed in a larger study completed at Guys Hospital, England and published in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics in October 2001. Essentially, drops containing lactase, an enzyme which occurs naturally within the body, are added to the feed and work by breaking down most of the lactose in the baby’s usual milk before the baby is fed, making the feed more digestible. The drops can be added either to some expressed breast milk or with infant formula. If the baby is lactase deficient a real benefit is that the colic symptoms are prevented rather than trying to treat the symptoms in a stressful situation. Colief infant drops, the lactase drops, used in these trials are available in South Africa. For some mothers these drops may help facilitate continued breastfeeding and save having to switch to special formula milks. The drops are used until the baby is approximately three to four months old, by which time their digestive system will be producing their own lactase enzyme and the symptoms of colic should have disappeared. For more information: http://www.skymedsa.co.za/colief-infant-drops-scalp-oil-vitamin-d-drops email: [email protected]

September 25, 2015

The Criticism Cycle

The competition starts before we are even aware. We begin the competition from the day we are born. Parents actually set up the first rivalry. Babies are judged by who is longer or bigger at birth. It continues with when a baby walks talk’s train’s counts and manipulates objects. Parents may refuse to believe they are remotely in any race but the reality of the matter is from babyhood through adulthood we are programmed to compete. When we compete we set the stage for a winner and so there must be at least one or more losers. Has anyone proven that there are rewards for keeping down whole food at the youngest possible age? Does walking at ten months make one more special than walking at eighteen months? Is bigger better really? If we answer no to theses questions but still discuss our child’s size then we are a hypocrite. Think for a minute. No one goes around saying my child is in the ten percent in height and weight. My child walked later than most children. Seriously, if we set parameters all the time, there will be those that surpass them and those that will simply fail. The question is if it is worth out time and effort. Jumping further into the future we struggle with school work and the best speakers, writers and math stars. If a child does poorly we begin stressing his or her sports ability. Suddenly we are giving up on school work and in the process brainwashing our child into believing they don’t have the ability to be successful in school. How detrimental it is to discover our realities manifesting due to our own making. The same is true of the scholar who is believed to be only good at school work. They come to believe they have no athletic capabilities. When this happens we are not allowing our children to be all that they can be and more. It boils down to competition. We forget the possibility that with training, the poor athlete may get better or the poor scholar may find his or her niche and discover the cure for a disease. This is not as crazy as it might sound. The superficial part believes we can peg any person into a certain hole and leave them there. Grandparents may add to this competition. They begin comparing grandchildren by saying this one will be great in school and this one will be getting an athletic scholarship. This sounds so silly. The children are perhaps toddlers. What happened to the goals of kindness and caring as well as empathy and selflessness? Maybe it is time to reflect on the altruistic attributes. Children will display what we expect of them. If we expect our child to mess up in high school because that is what teens do then that is what our kids will do. They return to us what we believe. Don’t expect your son or daughter to party through college and just possibly they won’t. Parents pit their children against each other every time they compare them. One year in time may find one child with more strength or endurance while another is lacking. It is not necessary to point this out. It is also not necessary to push the child in need to be the same. It is okay to be different. We are not all the same but we all are important and unique. Forcing everyone to love music, dance, sports, book learning or anything else is foolish. Yes we all need to learn and become educated but we can’t force a love of math or science. We can’t force the stamina to work out for an athletic endeavour. Siblings can be close friends if parents allow them to simply be themselves. Love your children. That is the only requirement of parenthood that will make all the difference in the world. Other people can and will influence your children along the way. At that point the parents should have created a firm foundation. It ought to maintain them and allow them to weather any questionable time in life. If siblings compete, their brother or sister becomes the enemy. Sometimes we might have the ability but not the interest to pursue certain athletic or educational goals. Other times the timing is not yet right for us. Being a good person first is what we should be striving for. In the end we will find our way. The uttermost person at the top with the best idea cannot always make it happen without those working with him or her to attain the goal. Without all of us the finest thoughts can be laid to rest. After all of our growing years are over, the end result is an adult ready to face the struggles of the real world competition. It is sad to find people pitted against each other rather than working together. The fastest worker gets the raise. The best personality befriends the boss. The schmoozer secures his job. The book learned person keeps ahead of the masses. One wonders about the true identity of anyone. We may want to ask the real person to stand up. Our importance does not depend on our pushing someone beneath us. It depends on how many people we manage to lift up to stand beside us. The baby test needs to be rewritten or dumped altogether. It is time to help each other rather than hurt each other. Children shouldn’t have to begin life believing they are less than others. We need to love them as they are and have faith and belief in them. When anyone receives love they have the ability to bounce it back to others. The more love received, the more love bounced and spread around to others. It will leave us all with only one goal. The goal will be to manifest as much love as we can so that wherever we look we will find it.

September 24, 2015

7 Things Every Child of Divorce Needs

PARENTS WHO LISTEN MORE AND SPEAK LESS. A child’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviour may be unstable during this difficult time. They need to be able to express how they feel without their emotions begin stuffed. Some of the things they say may be difficult for the parent to hear, so don’t dismiss or minimise what is said or how they feel. REGULAR ACCESS TO GRANDPARENTS. Relationships with your extended family may be difficult for you, but the kids still need them. Determine what access grandparents and other extended family members will have to your children and remain open to the fact that these adults can be very helpful during this difficult time. It can often times be easier for children to express their feelings to grandparents and others. PARENTS WILLING TO TAKE A PARENTING CLASS. I’m not talking about the inexpensive divorce class that most states require all divorcing parents to go through, I’m talking about a multi-session parenting class in which parents learn about the development stages of childhood and what constitutes normal and abnormal behaviour. Getting this additional help from a class or even a parent coach can prepare you for major behaviour challenges caused by the divorce. FIRM BOUNDARIES AND LIMITATIONS. Even though many children and teens will push the limits even further during a divorce, they require firm rules to know that the parents are still in charge and care. Firm boundaries creates feelings of safety and love, especially during difficult times such as divorce. Avoid the urge to give in and bend rules, just to avoid hearing the dreadful statement, “I want to go live with my Dad (or Mom).” RESPECTFUL TALK ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT. Your issues with your ex are your issues, not your child’s. No matter how terrible of a person you feel your ex was to you or to the kids, your children will most likely still see them as the wonderful, flawless parent they once were. You don’t have to speak affectionately about them in front of the kids, just respectfully. CONSISTENCY ON RULES OF ACCESS TO INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL. Your son comes home from a visitation with the other parent, with a new smart phone, tablet, violent video game, or any other object you normally don’t allow him to have. Avoid thinking that he can keep it just because the other parent gave it to him. Calmly and kindly hold on to that item until the next visitation occurs. You can’t do anything about what your child is exposed to in the other parent’s home, but you can in your own. PARENTS WITH EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. Going through a divorce can be devastating and something no one should go through alone. Seek out support groups in your community to get the help you need. Many churches offer a continuing workshop and support group called Divorce Care that is open to anyone, even if you are not a member of the church. Your children need you emotionally strong and able to provide the support they will need to get through this difficult time.

September 24, 2015

The Importance Of Being A Loving And Involved Dad

Some time ago, I went to a talk on gender issues at my sons’ school by Prof Cheryl de la Rey, during which she voiced her concern about the large percentage of boys in SA growing up without fathers and how this lack of male guidance may be linked to the high rate of gender-based violence, particularly rape, in our country. This got me thinking and researching the topic. It seems fatherless boys feel incomplete, alone and lacking a strong identity. They are more drawn to seek acceptance in groups – unfortunately not always positive influences. They often struggle with discipline issues (are more likely to display ‘hypermasculine’ behaviour, including aggression) at home and at school, where they are outperformed by students with fathers in all subjects. They’re also more likely to make poor choices, including becoming fathers early, getting involved in crime and abusing alcohol and/or drugs, which can impact their lives forever. The emotional availability and involvement of a father in a child’s life is quite possibly more important than the physical presence of fathers in the household on a day-to-day basis. In South Africa, where migrant labour is still a big issue, this is an important factor. A study in Botswana concluded that “children are not necessarily disadvantaged by the absence of their father, but they are disadvantaged when they belong to a household without access to the social position, labour, and financial support that is provided by men.” Men providing financial support for their children could mean the difference between children being given a good education, better living conditions and a chance in life versus growing up in poverty. A study in America found that children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. In 2011, 12% of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 44% of children in mother-only families. In South Africa, it was estimated by Ms Richter of the HSRC (Human Sciences Research Council) that around 54% of men aged 15-49 years were fathers, but that nearly 50% of these fathers did not have daily contact with their children. The failure of men to acknowledge and/or support their children, together with high rates of sexual and physical abuse, which is perpetrated mainly by men, points to a situation of ‘men in crisis’ in South Africa. Poverty and high rates of unemployment may be a contributing factor in the large numbers of fathers failing to take responsibility of their children – many are financially unable to do so. This can lead to a downward spiral where fathers may be there physically, but emotionally they indulge in alcohol or drugs and become irresponsible and unresponsive to their families. Whether parents of children are married or not also plays a role in whether the father will be absent or present. A study in Soweto and Johannesburg found that only 20% of fathers who were not married to their child’s mother at the time of its birth were still in contact with their children by the time they were 11 years old. Research by the SA Institute of Race Relations indicates that “the typical” child is raised by a mother in a single-parent household. Most fathers are alive, but absent. A racial dimension was evident in trends of absent fathers – in 2009 black children under 15 years had the lowest percentage of present fathers at 30%, compared to 53% for coloured children, 85% for Indians and 83% for whites. Only 35% of children were living with both their biological parents in 2008. Boys need their dads. Not just ANY dads though – dads who are good male role models; kind, loving, involved and interested in their children. Dads they can admire, respect and aspire to be like. Girls need their dads too. Girls who grow up with their fathers are more likely to have higher self-esteem, lower levels of risky sexual behaviour, and fewer difficulties in forming and maintaining romantic relationships later in life. They have less likelihood of having an early pregnancy, bearing children outside marriage, marrying early, or getting divorced. Both boys and girls are less likely to be obese, according to a survey done in the USA. It seems growing up without a dad can be a make or break factor in later life. There are many negatives, but there are also many examples of extremely successful men and women who have enormous drive and ambition partly because of the untimely death of or abandonment by their fathers. These include: Halle Berry, Orlando Bloom, Pierce Brosnan, Mariah Carey, 50 Cent, Eric Clapton, Bill Clinton, Samuel Jackson, John Lennon, Marilyn Monroe, Demi Moore, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, Barbra Streisand, Shania Twain. The success of these celebrities may be largely attributed to being raised well by their single mothers. Here are a few tips for single mothers on raising happy, healthy and successful children: Support your child by recognising their strengths, talents and gifts; talk about these and do whatever you can to give them opportunities to excel at these. Help your child to be part of a healthy “tribe” or group – church, a sports team, drama club, dance group – rather than leaving it up to them to find their own peer group. Watch out for silent anger. Be compassionate and keep an eye out for less obvious signs such as exasperation at school, bullying or self loathing. Encourage your child to express their anger in a positive way, or get help for them to learn better coping methods. Beware of lopsided views about sex, love and trust. Boys don’t get the practical advice they need about sex from their dads that would carry them into healthy, fulfilling relationships as men. They may also have a deep-seated hurt leading them to view love as a weakness, and could have difficulty trusting someone with their heart. Girls often confuse sex with love, and could get involved in early sexual behaviour hoping to

September 23, 2015

How Does Debt Counselling Work?

Debt counselling is the process of assisting consumers who have debt related problems. With the total consumer debt exceeding R1.4 trillion in South Africa alone, there is a growing need for professional debt assistance. Debt is unfortunately a harsh reality for many people – with thousands of individuals struggling to make ends meet, assistance is often needed. A debt counsellor will draft a budget for you – this will reflect your income less your expenses (mortgage, food, school fees, etc.). The debt counsellor will then establish an affordable repayment instalment for you, according to the money you have available. Your debt counsellor can also negotiate with your creditors on your behalf, to obtain reduced premiums for you, allowing you to pay off your debt in a reasonable period of time. The debt counselling process often includes the following services: Professional budget advice Payment restructuring Negotiating with credit providers Monitoring payments Providing after-care support At Help My Debt we handle all the negotiation on your behalf and take care of the entire administration process, as outlined by the NCA. We help you to regain your financial freedom by providing professional debt counselling services according to your unique needs. We work to deliver a professional and focused service to over-indebted consumers. The Benefits of Debt Counselling By making use of a professional debt counsellor, you can benefit from the following: One affordable instalment Legal protection from your credit providers Enough money to cover your basic monthly living expenses We negotiate on your behalf with credit providers You will be on the road to becoming debt free

September 22, 2015

The Amazing Sleep Trainer for Young Children

Toddlers are inquisitive little people. Their heads are filled with new exciting ideas, their hearts are full of adventure and they start each morning full of energy for the new day. Buy, this start might be at an entirely inappropriate time for parents! As a parent of a toddler, there is nothing worse than hearing your child at 5am and realising that they are ready to start their day right away. It is socially acceptable for a toddler to have a daytime nap, but that is less acceptable for tired parents! However if we consider for a moment how the toddler must feel, we realise that it is not as simple as just going back to bed. As adults, if we wake in the night we can check our clocks and know that we have hours more sleep to have before we need to be up. Toddlers don’t yet have that ability. How do they know the difference between 3 minutes until wake up time, and 3 hours? During the sunny summer months, with late sunsets and early sunrises how do they know that daylight outside doesn’t necessarily mean it is time to wake up? Thank goodness the Gro Company has the solution. Introducing the Gro-clock is a toddler sleep training clock that can help the entire family to manage their sleep patterns. By aiding children’s understanding of day and night, it can help prevent early morning wake up calls. The Gro-clock has an illuminated LCD screen with friendly images of stars, and a sun to communicate ‘sleep’ and ‘wake –up’ time. It comes with a free bedtime book called ‘Sleepy Farm’ that explains in a simple and toddler-friendly story, why to use the clock, and why it is important to stay in bed until the sun. The clock is set by the parents, who designate a ‘wake-up’ time. At night the toddler and their parent read the story, and then say goodnight to their clock. The clock ‘goes to sleep’ (the screen shows a sleeping star surrounded by small stars. Through the night the stars count down and in the morning at the designated wake-up time, the screen changes to a happy yellow sun. If the toddler wakes in the night, they will be able to see the stars and understand that it is not morning time yet. They know that it isn’t morning until the sun comes up. By counting down the stars and waiting for the sun to come up, children learn what time they can get out of bed – as set by their parents. The Gro-clock teaches a healthy sleep routine which can transform families’ lives. There is a digital clock display for older children, which is great for encouraging number and time recognition. For toddlers who want to press the buttons on their clock, there is a parental key lock option! The Gro-clock allows parents to enter two different wake up times, so their child can use the clock for their night time sleep and their daytime nap. The brightness on the screen is adjustable and in case it is needed, there is also an alarm clock option. The Gro-clock genuinely changes parents lives, in the UK there are over 1500 5* reviews on Amazon, and parents all over the world can’t stop talking about it! ‘I don’t think I could be without our Gro-Clock now and I would highly recommend it for toddlers!’ Laura Evelyn Bee- Parent Blogger and mum of 3 year old girl. ‘Darcie rarely wakes now and if she does she normally can self soothe. I really don’t know why I have waited so long to try this amazing product …! So if you’re struggling with bedtime and getting them to stay in their own room, make sure you give this a try’ Mummy Burgess- parent blogger and mum of 2 year old Darcie 5am wake ups can be a thing of the past with the Gro-clock- How do you get your children to understand when it’s time to get up? SIMPLE “stay in bed until you see the sun!”

September 21, 2015

Tech Solutions Can’t Solve Learning Problems

As technology becomes an ever increasing element of our daily lives, educational specialists will gather to discuss how best to incorporate it in schools. However, technology cannot solve learning problems, caution Edublox. On Friday 28 August 2015 teachers and education specialists will gather with IT personnel at the Technology in Education Conference in Johannesburg to explore technology in the education sector and discuss ways to improve outcomes in the classroom, particularly for Mathematics and Science. Edublox Educational Practitioner, Louna Spies will discuss the relationship between technology and cognitive skills in Maths education. “There’s no doubt that technology is a valuable tool for learning and there are many associated educational benefits, but teachers and parents should be careful to introduce technology as a learning tool at the right time and place according to a child’s needs and ability,” says Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programmes at Edublox. Calculators, considered to be the most basic technology used in classrooms for many years, are not included in Grade 1 or Grade 2 school stationary lists. This, says du Plessis, is because children first need a foundational understanding of numbers, counting, addition and subtraction before technology can be used as a ‘short-cut.’ “Parents and teachers should note that technology cannot replace educational support for children with learning problems,” says du Plessis. Computer programs designed to improve eye movement are now widely used as an intervention tool for reading difficulties. While eye movements are important for reading, Paarl-based optometrist Lizelle Loock warns that improving eye movements will not solve a reading problem. “Vocabulary, letter sounds and knowledge of spelling rules must first be established before reading can improve; only after these elements have been dealt with can we introduce computer reading programs to increase reading speed,” says Loock. Du Plessis adds that cognitive skills such as focused attention, visual and auditory processing, memory and logical thinking also need to be developed before effective reading can take place. Computer-based reading assessments can give parents a false sense of security regarding their child’s reading ability, says du Plessis who has noted that attention and memory have been negatively affected by technology. “Children do not have the memory capability they used to have and technology plays a role in this. Given the ease with which information can be found these days, knowing where to look is becoming more important for children than actually memorising something.” Studies have found that reading from a book is more beneficial for long-term memory and comprehension than reading off a screen.* “Parts of the brain are developed through handwriting practice, something that touch-screen technology cannot provide. “There is value in writing by hand,” says du Plessis, “it helps fire up our brains to generate more ideas than typing does and it assists with conceptual understanding.” A $10 million dollar study** involving 15 computer-based reading and Maths programs, 9424 learners and 439 teachers at 132 schools in the United States found no difference in academic achievement between students who used the technology in their classrooms and youngsters who used other methods. Tips for parents Do not rely on a computer program to assess your child’s reading ability, speed and comprehension. Look for scientific reading assessments conducted by a qualified specialist. Ensure your child reads aloud to you regularly from a book they select for themselves. Ask them questions to gauge their level of understanding of what they have just read. Monitor the time your child spends looking at a screen for educational or recreational purposes, whether it is a TV, computer, iPad or cell phone. School can be very boring for a child who is exposed to technology all the time. Light from screens in the evening suppresses melatonin levels, a hormone that helps control your sleep and wake cycles. Let your child read an actual, printed book before bedtime. When your child is a good reader, use computer technology to broaden their horizons and teach them to speed read. Edublox are leading specialists in cognitive development with 22 reading and learning clinics across Southern Africa. Edublox offers multi-sensory cognitive training, aimed at developing and automatising the foundational skills of reading, spelling and mathematics. For more information about Edublox visit www.edublox.co.za. *http://mic.com/articles/99408/science-has-great-news-for-people-who-read-actual-books ** http://ies.ed.gov/ncee/pubs/20094041/pdf/20094042.pdf

September 17, 2015

Netcells Biosciences releases its first cord blood unit for transplant

Netcells Biosciences, Africa’s leading stem cell laboratory and cryogenic biobank, has confirmed that it has released its first cord blood unit for transplant. Not only is this a first for the Johannesburg-based facility, it is also the first cord blood unit to be released by a private stem cell bank in South Africa. Netcells is the only bank in Africa to be accredited by the American Association of Blood Banks (AABB), which allowed the unit to be accepted by an American facility. In fact, all cord blood stem cells released by Netcells should be accepted by transplant centres across the world as they are processed, tested and stored according to validated international accreditation standards. The stem cells were released to treat an eight-month-old baby boy at Duke University in North Carolina, USA. The patient is being treated for an emerging therapy and the stem cells have already been successfully infused. More details regarding treatment, however, cannot be given in order to protect the family’s privacy. This milestone comes during Netcells’ tenth year of providing umbilical cord blood and tissue stem cell banking services, as well as a variety of related products and services. Umbilical cord blood and stem cell banking is still a relatively novel concept in South Africa. However, new parents are increasingly opting to have their newborn babies’ stem cells extracted from their umbilical cords in order to safeguard their children’s future health. Stem cells are already widely used in the treatment of blood-related diseases and research into their use in everything from skin regeneration and neurology, to cardiology and reconstructive surgery continues to uncover future treatment possibilities. More than 38 000 umbilical cord blood transplants have been carried out worldwide and this number is expected to grow exponentially as new treatments and therapies are developed and more parents become aware of the unique opportunity that umbilical cord blood preservation represents. Stem cells are available to be harvested from the adult body but this is often a more complicated procedure. Stem cells taken from umbilical cord blood, however, are abundant, healthy and have not yet developed an immune system, which makes them preferable for transplant. Since its establishment in 2005, Netcells has spearheaded the movement for cord blood stem cell banking in South Africa and has introduced numerous innovations to the local market. Besides being the only provider in Africa to obtain international accreditation, the company was the first and only to carry out highly specific NAT testing on maternal bloods, as well as the first to introduce automated processing of cord blood stem cells. In addition, Netcells is the only local stem cell bank in South Africa offering Adipose tissue stem cell banking, semen cryopreservation, human heart valve preservation, amniotic membrane biological dressing and cord blood serum eye drops. Besides its many medical innovations, Netcells Biosciences is leading the way when it comes to client service. Netcells was the first to offer its clients easy automated online registration and transparent all-inclusive pricing, plus interest free payment plans. Company policy demands that a Netcells representative meets with every client to ensure they are fully informed of the process – another unique first for the industry. Netcell’s commitment to innovation, excellence and its client service, combined with its track record in the biosciences arena, has resulted in the company becoming Discovery Health’s preferred partner of choice for umbilical cord stem cell storage. During the decade that Netcells has been in operation, the advances made in stem cell research have been astounding. “It’s an exciting time to be involved in the field of stem cell storage,” comments Dr Michelle Mason, Medical Officer at Netcells Biosciences. “All of us at Netcells are proud that a cord blood unit from our facility is being used for what we hope will be a life-changing treatment and we wish the family all the best.”

September 14, 2015

Appropriate Boundaries In Parenting

What do parents most want from children? Is it obedience – for children to do what parents think is best whether for the benefit of the child or for the parent? Could it be love – that parents want their children to love them unconditionally as parents try to love their children unconditionally? What about becoming good citizens who are responsible, pleasant to be around, non-offensive to others, and working toward success and independence? And, does love equal respect? So, how do parents get what they most want from their children? The answer is setting appropriate boundaries. These boundaries look and feel different depending on the chosen parenting style. There are typically three styles of parenting with some parents jumping from one style to the other depending on what point or convenience they believe is important to make at the time. The first boundary style is called “lines in the sand” as described here: 4-year old Jody and her mother are eating lunch at a local restaurant. Jody wants some gum out of the gum ball machine and asks her mom for some money. When mom says “Not now, sweetie”, Jody continues to ask and mom continues to deny the request. Mom decides to call a friend on her cell phone and while mom is distracted Jody goes into her mom’s wallet, gets a handful of change, puts the coins in the machine and comes back to the table with some gum in her mouth. After a bit, Mom finally notices Jody chewing gum and tells her friend the whole story as Jody listens. Mom expresses to her friend she just doesn’t understand why Jody doesn’t obey her. Jody is never personally scolded for her poor choice or instructed how to make a better choice. Although many parents want to have fun with their children, when a parent draws a line in the sand as the boundary for the child to follow, the relentless waves of the tide come in and wash the line away each time it is drawn. Therefore, what did Jody learn? If this parenting style is used often, Jody will relentlessly test her mom and other authority figures just to see where the boundaries actually are. Often, foster parents are unsure of where to place boundaries on foster children and may be overly lenient to compensate for the hurt foster children have experienced. “Lines in the sand” parenting tells foster children that 1) they are not good enough to have set or standard boundaries and will need to set their own, 2) the parent is incapable of setting appropriate boundaries, or 3) they are special and don’t need to follow the same boundaries as other family members. This parenting style leads birth and foster children toward rebellion breeding chaos, fighting, disrespect and a low sense of self- worth. The second style of parenting is described as a “brick wall”. Picture it … a tall, thick, red brick wall. Does it signify protection, strength, a sense of durability; or could it be described more cold, looming, harsh, and impenetrable? Children need the protection and strength from parents but never do they need parents to be unwelcoming, forbidding, rigid or unforgiving. Children also need the opportunity to learn to make good choices. A safe and comfortable home environment is where children can experience many opportunities to practice making choices. Being allowed to make choices encourages confidence. If children find the answer to their requests always being “no”, and / or a place where guilt and un-forgiveness is the rule of the day, then those children will seek acceptance elsewhere and usually in unfavourable settings. This parenting style also leads children to rebellion breeding chaos, fighting, disrespect and a low sense of self-worth. Often children run from rigidity because their inherent sense of free will or freedom of choice is being squelched. Foster children have often been reared in homes which have neglected their needs either through moving or non-existent boundaries, such as “lines in the sand”; or very strict boundaries described as “brick wall” parenting. The two extremes in parenting have been explained leaving the third parenting style of the “deep-rooted tree”. Picture a tall sturdy tree whose branches spread out over the yard giving shelter, shade, beauty, freedom, creativity, recreation and a feeling of being tested over time. One of the benefits of this parenting style is the manner in which life’s storms are weathered – with grace, flexibility and wisdom. There’s no room for arrogance, impatience or pity. A quiet strength is rooted in good soil rich with healthy nutrients expressing the importance of taking care of oneself and of others. There are no inappropriate expectations nor judgement but a joy when family members choose to spend time together under the tree. Delightful flowers and foliage often bring forth delicious fruit allowing others to share from the bounty and the beauty this style offers. When the storms come, deeply planted roots hold the tree upright with a strong trunk. The branches know just how far to bend without breaking from the wind. And so it is with this parenting style. As children need strength and wisdom from their parents, they also need flexibility. “Deep-rooted” parenting has a strong foundation supporting children to learn from their personal experiences through proper guidance in making effective choices. These teaching moments become life lessons which mould children’s character and prepare them to respond appropriately in future situations. As foster parents, strength with flexibility offered to all children shows parents care about children as individuals, that parents believe in children and trust their ability to make good choices for their level of development. Children experience freedom and peace when acting within appropriate boundaries. In return, through time parents will receive the love and respect that they demonstrate to others. Although flexibility is the key element in appropriate boundaries, determining how far a parent is willing to go and being consistent in not going beyond the boundary limit is crucial. A

September 10, 2015

Bully Proof Vests

The chances of your child being bullied or the bully at some point in their 13 years of formal schooling is quite high. The question for me is not necessarily how to stop them from being bullied (as much as we would all love to live in some utopian bully-free society), but how to increase their resilience so that if this does happen it isn’t detrimental to their sense of self or their enjoyment of school. Here are a couple of quick tips that can help… Everyone has all traits. Labelling someone as a bully or labelling yourself as a victim just exacerbates the problem. When we understand others, and can see ourselves in them, we have a much greater chance of tolerance and problem solving. While this is essential information for parents and teachers in solving the bullying in their environment, it can help the kids too to see more similarities than differences and to start to understand why someone bullies and what might be going on in their lives that has created this problem. If a child knows that the so called “bully” is being bullied themselves (perhaps by another child or a parent figure), or is having problems at home, this can help them to see it as the problem of the bully and not because there is something inherently wrong with them (and therefore labelling themselves as a victim or as flawed in some way). We need to model for and teach our children healthy self-talk. Correct your child (and yourself) when you catch them saying negative things about themselves. A simple exercise for this is to write positive self-affirming messages on your mirrors. Most people learn early on to look at themselves in the mirror and criticise. Turning this around can go a long way towards helping kids to develop a strong sense of self-worth. If you want children to learn to say “no” to peer pressure and in difficult situations you need to give them the opportunity to do this at home. So few parents respect the “no” of their children and then wonder why kids don’t respect their “no’s” or buckle under the pressure of their peers. So the next time your child says “no” to sharing their sweets with you, let their no mean no! Make sure your child’s needs are being met, particularly in times of change such as starting a new school. If their needs for certainty, significance, love, growth, variety or contribution are not being fulfilled in positive ways, they may unconsciously look to fulfil these in negative ways, which can include attracting bullies into their lives. Speak to your children often about how they are feeling, what their concerns are, and please take them seriously when they are feeling unhappy in a new situation and help them to find way to alleviate this distress. Make sure that your children are parent-oriented and not peer-oriented. One of the greatest determinants for whether a child will become a bully or become a victim of a bully is related to their level of parent vs peer-orientation. Are your children looking to you to decide what is right or wrong, where to go, what to do and how to behave or are they looking to their friends for this guidance? If a child is peer-oriented they are at a much greater risk for bullying and you are also less likely to find out about it. Peer-oriented kids try desperately to fit in and be liked and are therefore vulnerable to peer pressure. This does not only apply to teenagers, as even pre-school children can be peer-oriented. Children are more likely to be peer-oriented if they spend long hours at school and/or at play dates or extra murals where they are not properly supervised or where they do not have a good connection with the adult/s in charge. This does not mean that aftercare is out, but that you need to make a concerted effort to connect with your children deeply in the time that you do have with them – find things in common, speak to them with respect, be present for them on the weekends, etc. The more your children feel connected to you, the more resilient they are to bullying. The world is not perfect, and our playgrounds are unfortunately rife with bullying. There is simply no way we can guarantee our children a bully-free schooling experience. But, by being involved in our children’s lives, being open to honest, non-judgemental communication and by helping them to fulfil their needs and develop a healthy sense of self we can at least give them bully-proof vests!

September 10, 2015

4 Things to Help Your Kids to Dream Big

I watched my grandparents work every day of their lives, doing what they became good at and because it paid the bills. Whenever I tried to talk to them about what it might be like to do the work they REALLY loved, they would tell me that was what hobbies were for; a outlet for what you loved to do. During his prime, my grandfather was a carpenter and worked for a hard-to-please boss on a crew that built houses. When he wasn’t slaving away for that task master, he loved to work in his basement workshop, being creative with wood. Of the many things he made by hand, the most beautiful were the hand carved ships wheels. He only made them for those he was close to and he never accepted money for them. I feel fortunate that I have one of those huge wheels mounted on the wall of my office and I think of him every time I look at it. What do you dream of doing if you didn’t have to go to work each day to make your living? Is there something that you love to do and wish you could do it full time? Have you already found it and spend your leisure time working on? Wouldn’t you want your children to find that one thing they feel most passionate about and do it full time? Here are four things you can begin doing immediately as a parent to help your child DREAM BIG. Let them explore. Encourage your children to try new things by giving them opportunities to try them out. Avoid putting pressure on them to succeed and focus more on the experience of different activities. Speak of abundance and avoid scarcity. You want your children to know that anyone can do anything they put their minds to. Avoid mentioning that your family doesn’t have the means, supplies or money to do things. Allow them to help you come up with ideas for doing the things they love to do. Create a vision board or dream book. Purchase composition books for yourself and your children and have them draw pictures in the book that represent what they want to acquire or experience. Allow them to cut out pictures from old magazines to paste into their dream book. Teach them to add a new entry in images or text whenever they have a thought about something they dream of. Find movies and books that illustrate someone who dreamed big. Watch movies with your children or read books to them in which the main characters dreamed big and made it all happen. You want them to know that anything is possible if you dream it, think about it, illustrate it and see it often enough. They say that those who dream big and then follow those dreams will live longer, live happier, and attract healthy, supportive people into their lives. What parent wouldn’t want this for their children? Now you know what it takes to help your child begin their journey toward dreaming big!

September 9, 2015

Installing A Car Seat For The First Time

Installing a child-safety seat correctly is no easy feat. It’s a big deal, the seat has to be properly installed in the vehicle, and the child has to be properly installed in the seat. It sounds simple, yet 80 to 90 per cent of parents can get it wrong. Quite a scary stat. In the quest to acquire the multitude of things you need when you have a baby, it can be overwhelming when you start to investigate child car seats. Rear facing, front facing, boosters, weights, heights, tethers, anchors, positioning in the car … it’s a lot of details. And they’re details you need to get right. We wish we could give you a “fit-all” solution however you will need to ensure you adhere to the installation standards of the specific seat you have purchased. Here however is a simple start and summary of the basics. Beyond this we further recommend you watch a video or two online in particular to the specific seat you are installing to ensure you are 100% on track. The Basics The car seat must be the right type for the age and weight of your child It must be current, and have full instructions accompanying it and displayed on the sticker (also ensure you check the expiry date – seats can get old and forego their safety standards). It must never have been in a collision, whether the child was in it at the time or not For front facing seats, tether strap must be securely and properly in place Your child must be properly harnessed in the seat, with no padding, bulky clothing or bedding interfering with the straps. For warmth, bundle your little one over the straps, or look at specialty covers that don’t interfere with the seat performing its job. Your child’s caregiver’s vehicle must adhere to the same rules. If you don’t know how to install the car seat and can’t work it out, take the seat and your car to the car dealer. Most will install it for free, or for a small fee. It’s worth it because an improperly installed car seat is almost as bad as no car seat at all The Extras – a few things to watch out for when installing the seat: A child-safety seat that moves more than an inch: Check your child’s seat by grabbing it near the seat belt path or Latch belt path and giving it a tug. If it moves more than an inch in any direction, reinstall it to get a tighter fit. Latch anchors or seat belts that are used incorrectly: If you’re using a seat belt to install a child-safety seat, make sure the seat belt’s retractor is in the locked position. If you’re using the Latch system, make sure you’re using the Latch connectors correctly (some can only be used in one direction). Check for worn straps and padding. Used car seats are fine if they meet current standards and are in good repair. A harness that doesn’t fit: If your child is in a rear-facing seat, the harness shoulder straps should be at or below shoulder level; in a forward-facing seat, the straps should be at or above the shoulders. The chest clip should be at armpit level. Safe Kids Worldwide says parents can then check for too much slack in the harness by pinching the strap at the shoulders. If you can pinch any webbing, tighten the harness straps. Make sure that metal components of the seat are never in direct contact with the child’s skin. They can get very hot and burn the child. Extras: If it didn’t come with your child-safety seat, don’t use it. This includes aftermarket (not sold with your car seat) headrests or blankets that attach to car-seat straps or go under your child when secured. There is no government agency that monitors their safety effectiveness, and these things can compromise the effectiveness of a car seat. Toys and baby mirrors: Avoid attaching toys and mirrors directly to the car seat or seat-back. In a crash, these can become airborne objects that could hurt your child. Please note the above should be used as a guideline only. Whichever option you chose remember to ensure you understand exactly how to install the seat you have chosen and read all the instructions provided by the manufacturer. We hope this helps you make the correct decision and improves the safety of your family. The Soccermom Team Safely chauffeuring your children since 2006 www.soccermom.co.za

September 8, 2015

Introducing The Down Syndrome Association

The Down Syndrome Association Western Cape (further referred to as DSAWC) was founded by Mike and Gloria Botha in 1976, after their daughter Cheré was born with Down Syndrome (DS). Down syndrome, the most frequent of all chromosomal abnormalities arising at the time of conception and it is not a disease. This purely random occurrence happens in 1 in 850 births in South Africa – traversing all nationalities and backgrounds. Down syndrome is the major cause of delayed intellectual and physical development As a non-profit organisation DSAWC offers a variety of services and support to people with Down syndrome and similar intellectual disabilities as well as their families. Our services and programs are aimed at improving the quality of life for people with DS, helping them find their purpose and taking their rightful place in society. We encourage people with DS to develop to their full potential, using their skills and abilities to contribute to their communities, prompting the idea that they have the right to live with independence, dignity, respect and security as valued adults and full citizens in our society. DSAWC endeavours to empower families through dissemination of information, training courses and establishing of support groups. We encourage a more inclusive environment in the education and employment arenas and our ongoing mission is to see that the rights of disabled adults and children are recognised and honoured in all spheres of life. We have various ongoing services such as counselling, social services, assistance with grant applications, social and fundraising events, awareness events and parent evenings etc. Apart from these ongoing activities we are running the following programs with a total of 482 beneficiaries in the Western Cape: Outreach Project Leisure Libraries Umthi Special Needs Class Early Intervention Masandé workshop Outreach Project: The Outreach Project is a service we render to communities in the respective community. This project serves previously disadvantaged communities and areas that have difficulty accessing our services and programs. Meetings are held regularly at set venues, some areas have weekly meetings, others monthly. We are currently running 7 outreaches serving 32 areas. The Outreach brings our early intervention program to those who cannot come to us, as well as create a platform for parents to get support from and give support to each other. We want to uplift families through stimulation, support and training. We also have a toy library to supply toys to these families to enable them to follow the intervention program and to help their child develop through play. Playing with age appropriate toys is essential for development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social and emotional wellbeing of children. Play also offers opportunities for parents and teachers to engage with their child. Leisure Library Our Leisure Library looks at the continuous stimulation in terms of the need for socialisation / emotional development and interaction between adults with Intellectual disabilities. We have 2 projects running under the banner of our Leisure Libraries. The Social Club is mainly for the development of social skills as interactions with other adults are very important. Once a month a dance is organised, and attended by our young adults. This is a good opportunity for the parents of these adults to get together to share their struggles and their joys – being able to support one another In the Arts Class we create beautiful shopping bags. The young people paint on cloth; this is then stitched onto shopping bags and sold at a monthly market and other events. All proceeds go back into the buy in of new materials. Umthi Special Needs Class Umthi is our special Needs Class done in collaboration with Sivuyile Children’s Home. All children have a right to develop to their full potential and the Umthi Special Needs Class looks at the child as an individual with individual needs and possibilities. We cater for children with severe and multiple disabilities that doesn’t fit the criteria in other special needs schools or groups. We firmly believe that every child has an ability in their disability. Early Intervention Programme Our Early Intervention programme provides emotional support and empowers parents with children with Down syndrome. We inform and equip parents to help their children to exceed and achieve the almost impossible with the right kind of help, support and education. This programme provides adequate provision of professional support services to those with special needs. Masandé Workshop The Masandé workshop is a pilot project and it will afford 5 young adults with DS the chance to continue to develop new skills, as well as maintain skills already learned. If any of the young adults can be integrated into a mainstream job and workplace that would be the ultimate goal. For more information please contact our offices at 021 919 8533 or send an email to our Office Manager, Tineke Ganz-Malan, on [email protected]

September 7, 2015

21 Places To Put Sudocrem Other Than On Your Baby’s Bottom

It may be thick, pasty and a pain in the (literal) ass to rub in, but Sudocrem has kept #babyjake 100% nappy rash free for all 11 months of his existence. And apart from keeping his little bummy wummy soft and dry, there are many uses for this cream beyond the bum. I can vouch for many of these (I am particularly skilled in use #14), but thankfully I don’t have much experience with others (#’s 11 and 16 would fall into this category). Whatever the ailment though, there is something in here for everyone. So here are 21 places to put sudocrem other than on your baby’s bottom: 1. All Round Healing Cream thanks to Zinc Oxide. The joy of Sudocrem is its high Zinc Oxide content. That’s the magical antibacterial and anti-inflammatory ingredient that makes this cream an all-round healer. When Zinc Oxide is applied to a wound area, it provides the body with the extra zinc it needs to repair skin cells. Use it on rashy patches, cuts, grazes and, well, any skin irritations for that matter (great for those annoying grass rashes and for teething/drool chin rash!) 2. Acne. Perhaps the most famed of all uses (even more so than as a bum cream) is its role in clearing acne, spots, blemishes, pimples and breakouts. Simply apply to the spot in question, and watch it magically reduce in redness and size. 3. Face Mask. Yes. It’s true. Because Sudocrem is so thick and pasty, you can’t use it as a regular moisturiser. But you can use it once a week as an all-round face mask. This DIY beauty hack has even made its way into celebrity circles. After your regular bedtime cleansing, smear Sucocrem all over your whole face (you can try massage it in, but you won’t get very far). Then leave it to absorb overnight. It helps tighten pores and prevent the buildup of sebum, reducing the formation of blackheads and pimples. You will go to bed looking like Casper, but you will wake up looking fresher and smoother, with a more even complexion. Be sure to sleep on a towel. Do this once a week only. 4. This one is for the Dads. Shaving Rash / Razor Burn 5. Rough, cracked heels (apply cream, put socks on, and allow to seep in overnight). 6. Wrinkles. It’s a hell of a lot cheaper than La Mer, so I figure there isn’t much to lose by trying this one out. Zinc is a natural astringent – that means it tightens the skin’s elastic fiber leading to a reduced appearance of wrinkles. 7. Insect Bites and Stings. Sudocrem contains a mild local anaesthetic to ease discomfort. 8. To prevent and soothe chaffing (be it from cycling or because your thighs rub together in summer). 9. Sweat Rashes (you know, those pesky under the boob ones). 10. Primer. Another DIY beauty trick. Apply a tiny (TINY) bit here and there as you would a regular primer, before applying makeup. It will provide your skin with a thin barrier so that your foundation / eye shadow can be applied without sinking into pores and creases. Once rubbed in, it isn’t greasy and doesn’t leave you looking shiny. It actually leaves a matte finish. Be careful not to slather it on too thickly though, or you may end up looking like a ghostly, pale and chalky corpse. 11. Can be used to help treat Eczema, Psoriasis, Molluscum, Bedsores, Chilblains and Warts (again, the zinc works its magic here). 12. Dogs also get dry patches, itchy sores and tail chaffing. Sudocrem is recommended by many a vet (but it can be difficult to clean so make sure that you rub it in really well and while it is not toxic, just keep an eye out that your dog doesn’t lick too much of it off.) 13. Apply around your hairline when applying hair dye / colour, to prevent your skin from staining. 14. Sunburn, the ultimate after-sun treatment. There we were, frolicking on our first seaside holiday as a new family. And somehow, I missed the First-Time-Mom-Memo that states that you will still burn under an umbrella. So after a lovely swim (where #babyjake was pathologically lathered in SPF 100 and kitted out in his UVA/UVB protective scuba suit), we had a little post-swim lie down in the umbrella’s shade. Shade being the operative word in that sentence. 3 hours later and I had sunburnt my 4 month old to lobster red status. Of course, good old Google warned us that “Your baby will die within 2 hours if emergency medical action is not taken”. And so, after several hysterical phone calls to every after-hours Paed in Durban, Sudocrem and its high zinc content saved us. Applied hourly, every hour, for 24 hours, and well #babyjake left Durban with a lovely tan. Tip: Leave the tub in the fridge, and apply the cooled cream to really ease the burn. #firsttimemom 15. Dry, callous knees and elbows. 16. Piles, haemorrhoids and painful bowel movements. 17. When ailed with colds and flu, apply under the nose to prevent dryness and chaffing from excessive wiping and blowing 18. Itchy and inflamed scar tissue. This has soothed my still itchy, (actual) emergency c-section cut. 19. Protect your manicured hands when washing the dishes. Sudocrem’s water-repellent base creates a protective seal. Also great to protect your little one’s chin from the drool floodgates of teething. Just apply and the drool won’t cause a chin rash. 20. Bruises. To reduce appearance and swelling. 21. Emergency Redness Reduction (whether you’ve just plucked your eyebrows minutes before needing to leave the house, or have woken up looking like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer). Tip: Remember a little goes a long way. You only ever need to use a teeny tiny smidgen (except for when you sunburn your 4 month old baby, then go wild.)

September 7, 2015

Diabetes – Who Will Be There For Your Child When You Can’t Be?

The one thing that all parents seem to agree on is that children are unique and those who have diabetes react differently to the same set of circumstances even though they have the same condition. Some teachers will tell you that in their experience, when a child is hypoglycaemic, or hyperglycaemic for that matter, the behaviour exhibited by the youngster is out of character at best and insubordinate when nearing its worst. One teacher stated “I believed that a child with diabetes in my class was genuinely misbehaving, only to find that when insulin was administered normality was quickly restored.” The problem is that “I was a relatively new educator to the school and didn’t have any idea of how to deal with this child.” This is a worldwide problem. Many teachers still do not understand any of the basic concerning issues of diabetes and are ignorant of the consequences. I recently spoke to a mom whose diabetic child went on a school tour . She mentioned how her child, a ten year old, continuously ate and then at meal times had sugars of 20 plus. “I spent the entire 3 days worrying,” she said. Children will be children and we, as adults, need to be aware of how our own kids may react to the temptation of sugar-laden foods. Responsibility is key! Everyone needs to share this responsibility in order for kids to be able to manage their diabetes. The more information that one can supply to teachers and other supervising adults, like one usually do with coaches, the more successful one will tend to be. Sometimes people in authority can forget or even ignore children with diabetes. This oversight can become life threatening. The most successful way to communicate and control your child’s diabetic condition is to form partnerships – with teachers, parents, coaches, drivers, peers and more importantly, other diabetic children. This is possibly going to stand your child in good stead when he or she needs assistance. One needs to be able to be ensure that someone will know what to do in the case of an emergency, or even in the everyday management of the condition, like a friend gently reminding your child to test when he or she “forgets” to do so. All children with diabetes should be encouraged to share their diabetic management plan with their classmates, teachers and basically anyone who they may be around when their parents are absent. In a world where our children are under immense pressure to perform, we need to remember that the added strain on these little ones, who are trying to cope with all of life’s battles as well as managing their diabetes, is a particularly heavy load that even us as parents and adults sometimes forget. I believe that a team effort needs to be made with the schools and districts in provinces all around the country. Also, programmes need to be set up to inform individuals at all levels to assist diabetic learners whatever their needs may be, both inside the classroom and outside on a sports field. What is certain is that all children who are diagnosed with diabetes will need ‘a little help from their friends from time to time. By Mark Moore Mark Moore is a principal of a public primary school in Gauteng. He has a Higher Diploma in Education, a B.Ed Honours, and has recently completed a M.Ed by dissertation at WITS entitled “The Management of Diabetic Learners in South African Schools.”

September 4, 2015

Can Our Actions Increase Or Lessen Fear?

Fear consumes our lives. We base all of our decisions on our fears. Fear is not a rich or poor man’s baggage. It is not an educated or uneducated man’s burden. Doubt has nothing to do with our upbringing, environment, the people we choose for friends, nor the people who are our relatives. It is not based on jobs, capabilities or personalities. Just as we all have to eat and rest for survival, we all share similar concerns. Strange to find nobody spends much time talking about our anxieties, unless we are going to a therapist. The concerns of others, as well as our own apprehensions, make us feel inadequate. Doubt brings us down. It appears smarter to ignore our trepidations as much as we can. But once in a while, they explode. At those few and far between times we deal with them, resolve them as best we can, and move on. Fear is perhaps viewed as a weakness, and vulnerability is not what society as a whole, admires. Our society values strength and independence. We function well in most situations. There are just those times daily, weekly monthly when we must encounter some forms of alarm, and resolve them for the moment. Instead of just solving them for the moment, it would be better to learn to understand them. so Logically they would either go away, or rarely show their faces. To strengthen muscles takes a long tedious time. To strengthen our understanding of fright is also a slow process. It will involve many setbacks. With understanding we will see fear as a natural strength that keeps us safe. At times, we spend so much time contemplating about terror that we forget to simply live our lives. We need to begin at the beginning to understand where anxiety comes from, why it controls us and dominates our lives, how it affects us, what effects it produces, why it is detrimental to us, how we can see it for what it is, and how we can stop it. We begin our lives in total fear. What’s happening? Why am I being launched out of my cozy comfortable environment? We are literally pushed away from our comfort zone. We struggle through a narrow tunnel and explode into a cold world. We then struggle to breathe. Getting jostled around, rubbed roughly, and invaded in our oral and nasal passages before finally managing to inhale a cold searing breath for the first time. Welcome into the human world. After being swiftly wrapped, we are placed by our mother’s side for love, warmth and nurturing. Doubts arise from the start of our lives. Right from the beginning we are consumed with fear and thus begins our long journey and inseparable attachment to worry. I’m not really suggesting that our birth is the reason we live our lives in fear. Our births may be slightly traumatic, but existence is much more stressful and traumatic in terms of daily survival. Babies cling to their moms and with good reason. They are aware that it is mom and dad who feed them and comfort them. Babies know that without mom and dad they can’t get to the food. Every moment they wait for mom or dad to be present and pick them up, and care for them. Their existence depends on their parents. The baby’s journey of a lifetime of fear has already begun. If we questioned how important parents are to a growing baby, we would see why the baby’s terrors are a genuine reality. No one can explain to a baby that they will get fed even if mom or dad is not present. Grandma or Papa or some other caring adult will step in. If the baby was alert to this, the fear might dissipate but babies are not aware of all that is happening around them. They want their mother. As a toddler matures, he or she begins to realise that other people are within his sphere and may help to satisfy his needs. It comforts a very young child, to know that they have more adults to rely upon in time of need. Our next journey through our childhood years begins with the realisation, that we are not the only ones in the universe. We are taught to wait our turn and share. This is no easy feat When mom and dad are mad at us, we feel queasy in our stomachs. We begin to think. What happens to us, if mom and dad stop loving us? If they get angry with us, they might go away, and where would we be then? Most young children acquiesce and do as their parents instructed. Children don’t outwardly say what they are feeling, but they experience a love hate relationship with their parents. They trust them and run to them but also push them away in anger. They are striving for independence, yet still rely on their parents for survival. When a new baby arrives, a tremendous anxiety takes root in the soul of its sibling. Now the child must contend with a rival. The young child views the parents gushing about the new arrival. He or she must now wait for the parents’ attention. Mom and dad have less patience, and time, since the baby arrived. At one time the parents would have laughed when he or she spilled the cereal. The child is not cute when they spill their cereal now. Nobody told the child the rules would change with the new arrival. There is a new playing field. The fear of losing mom and dad’s love turns into jealousy with the baby. The child’s attention focuses on the baby. Jealousy evolves into frustration and anger. The resulting build-up of anger, and doubts about his parents’ love, causes the young child to retaliate with physical force against the new intruder or sibling. Now if parents do not handle this properly, the anger and retribution will continue in an infinite cycle.

August 31, 2015

Going Beyond “Fine”

It’s a typical complaint that the majority of parents have – that their kids don’t tell them about what is going on in their lives; that very early on they stop communicating. You pick them up from school and ask how their day was, and all you get is “fine”. Have you ever wondered why that is, and how to go beyond just “fine”? We’re complaining about our kids lacking in communication skills, but who do they learn this from? Us, of course. And what could be a worse example of true communication than asking a child “How was your day?” If you really look at it, you’ll see that it is such a conditioned, automated question that it doesn’t even warrant an answer. We live most of our adult lives asking and answering automated questions: “Hi, how are you?” “Fine, thanks, and you?” Do you really care how the other person is? Do you want a true response or to get into a conversation about their current troubles and successes? Not really. We know this, and our kids watching us know this too, so when we ask them a similarly unconscious question they don’t feel the need to supply more than the typically automated response. We forget that kids are still fully engaged in the world, and we need to meet them where they’re at, not come at them with our adult switched-offness! If you want true communication with your kids, you need to start truly communicating with them. Start by asking a question that actually implies that you are interested in them and their lives. Instead of “How was your day?” try: “Is your best friend back at school today?” “Is the PT teacher still wearing those silly shorts?” “Who had the most delicious lunch today?” “What games did you play on the playground?” These are just some ideas to get you going, but if you follow the next part of true communication i.e. actually listening to what the other person is saying, I’m sure you’ll come up with some more of your own! So the trick to going beyond just “fine” is this: If you want a real answer, ask a real question!

August 28, 2015

Bullying Is Real

Bullying has been around for a long time, and has increased its area of ruin. Recently it has been placed in the spotlight. We become aware of it when a person hurts another. We miss it in ourselves. It possibly is promoted through our daily interactions. Bullying has surfaced into the daylight. It is ugly if we are honest about it. We should not be surprised at how rampant it has become. Many of us have been guilty of bullying or we have been the victims of bullies.. Maybe it’s time to reflect on those times we have been at fault, for bullying another. We need to have the confidence in ourselves so that we don’t feel the need to knock another down, in order for us to feel better, or get ahead. Carefully watching our actions and their consequences is vital. Society suffers with every bully action displayed towards another person. Recognising ourselves in these situations helps us to overcome it. Strive for tolerance of others, by disregarding their differences. We are obliged to support our children in their endeavour to become more empathetic, and accepting of others. Many of us are able to accept those who are different. It’s time to accept those who are similar to us, and pose a jealousy threat. Constant anger within a family triggers children to be fearful and upset. Parents are their children’s rocks of stability and survival. Every time parents are yelling and screaming at each other, children feel vulnerable regarding their own existence. Fighting and anger are part of human nature. When one crosses the line, and anger becomes out of control rage, children worry for their own lives, and their mom’s or dad’s life. Children most likely feel helpless to stop the turmoil and are caught in a web of love, hate and secrecy. With physical abuse, children’s worst nightmares become real. The people they love and trust the most in the world, have turned into monsters. Many children possibly begin having nightmares, or wetting the bed. Boys might be scarred from feelings of helplessness in their inability to protect their mothers. Many children become the victims themselves. If the family is in crises, they might seek the aid of others. It then brings the hope they can remain intact. If parents will not talk about it or seek support, eventually the marriage and the family dissolves, leaving only the children behind. Parents move on to a new life, but as stated before, the children remain forever caught in the original roots of home. One cannot be ashamed of anger. It is a human emotion. There is a tremendous amount of burdens placed on parents, so it is not a surprise to see parents full of turmoil. How one manages the irritations is a whole other situation. If we allow exasperation to take control of our life, we have given up command. Infuriation becomes the boss of us. Managing our fury is central. At work, if a co-worker bothers us or even the boss, we must accept and control our annoyance. We cope, keep our attitudes under wraps, or walk away. The alternative is a job loss or worse. Wrath appears to be devouring our society. It abounds everywhere. Our culture expects entitlement. When gains are not forthcoming, we thrash out in anger and resentment, at the nearest person. If we are the irritated store clerk at a food store, the buyer is the receiver of our ire. If we are the furious buyer, the seller shoulders the brunt of our maddening thoughts. Anger emerges when one is driving in a car. Dad gets upset at mom, or the children; the car is speeding and moving erratically. This is obviously not safe for the children, anyone else in our car, or the surrounding cars. When enraged we do not have the right to jeopardise the lives of our family, or possibly other peoples’ lives in cars near us. Children are great imitators and we will see our fury emerge, when our child punches their sibling or starts fighting at school. We cannot ask ourselves where it comes from when we already know the answer. Again, we all get angry, but how we handle rage is a completely subjective situation. One can begin with small steps, by attempting to eliminate some of the irritation. That alone would make things better. The more we talk about infuriating episodes with our child, the more beneficial it will be to resolving family problems. We are not fooling our children, even when they smile at us, after a tumultuous situation. Women are as guilty of ire as men. Modelling wrath, is teaching our children how to exhibit negative feelings, rather than positive ones. As parents, we choose to teach negatively or positively. Discuss fury, and attempt to explain why its impact is so far-reaching. It damages, and kids know this. Children are aware of our ire, especially if our child is the receiver of thrashings, when we are in a rage. Our admittance to an anger issue, perchance might lead to healing for the whole family. One thing we cannot do under any circumstance is to stop trying. If we do, It is over and we are admitting defeat, by our surrender. We must persevere even when we keep faltering. Realise that every time we do not weaken, we have improved our home life. In addition, the world is enriched. One small step at a time is what it required. Diligence and effort make our struggle important and valuable, even if we do not completely succeed. The small victories encourage us to continue forward. Wrath spills over into every relationship, within the family. Siblings may get into altercations with each other, and with their parents. This has resulted in police calls to the families, as well as detentions for the fights taking place at school. No member of the family is unscathed. Constant conflict with a step-parent, or parent, will bring many

August 26, 2015

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