Advice Column - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Why do children insist on defying their parents?

Our children as wonderful as they are, aren’t exactly obedient all of the time. Suddenly your child may be refusing or blatantly ignoring your requests for them to do something. The good news is that this is all normal, as frustrating as it is, it is normal for your child to test the boundaries. As your child matures and learns more about the world around them, the development of their own opinions about relationships and rules is starts to form. As parents you are able to show your child that instead of you being part of the problem, that you are actually on their side all the time. You can do this by being kind but firm in your requests. If your child has a problem abiding by requests, talk the situation out and try get to the bottom of your child’s defiance. Reinforcing good behaviour means teaching your child how to control themselves and rewarding through positive comments or appreciation. This includes empowering your child to gain and strut their own independence. Get your child involved in picking the evenings meal for example. This does not teach your child that he or she is running the house but rather shows them that you respect and value their opinion and enjoy them being part of the household. Essentially, everyone is going to butt heads at some point and especially when your child is trying to figure out their place in the world. This also needn’t be a terrible time in household, through the respecting of each others opinions and boundaries a harmonious environment can continue. Here are some ideas on how you can deal with your children and this new stage in their development. Acknowledge their anger – If you child is flooded with emotion, acknowledge their feelings. Put yourself in their shoes. Can you remember how strong your own anger was at that age? It’s too easy to dismiss their reasons for rage as being teenage and silly. Stay connected – Try to get some special time with each of your children if nothing more than just to talk about life in general. By volunteering information about your own adolescence it can help them to understand how growing up has always been difficult. You don’t have to be liked – Many parents are desperate to be popular with their kids, you are not there to only be your child’s friend but rather to guide them to make the right decisions in life. Negotiate trade-offs – These allow you to let go gradually and provide your child with an increase in independence. Parents who try and keep their teenagers as dependent as they were when they were smaller will come into conflict with their children. Communicate any way that you can – Times have changed, which means that so have the ways in which your children communicate. Allow them the opportunity to use text messages to talk to you about something that is on their mind. Forget about the means that they are using to do this and focus on the fact that you would rather know what is going on and if your assistance is needed. (reference babycentre.com)

February 25, 2016

My baby was born before her/his time…now what?

Its 6am, the electric breast pump is going in one hand and I’m sipping my tea using the other. I have had a baby, and the only thing I have to show for this is leaking ducts and a searing stomach cut. No baby cries coming from the room next door, no nosy family members dropping by to see the new baby. Nope my baby that I have come to know as little blob is lying in an incubator 20min drive from our home. Depending on your baby’s prematurity and birth weight, your baby will need to spend time in the NNICU (Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit). This is incredibly hard to endure, as a mother you have gone from carrying this little angel for months and now you have no choice but to leave them in an incubator. Going home is hard, seeing them is hard…but thankfully each day gets better. Different people cope in their own way. I just looked forward to receiving positive news at the beginning of each visit and just being able to wrap her hand around my finger was heaven. My husband on the other hand was all about the numbers and graphs. He had to measure each and every weight increase no matter how small. As annoying as this may seem, this was his coping mechanism. NNICU Equipment Here are a few descriptions on some of the monitors and equipment the NNICU staff may be using on your baby. (It is important to remember that not all premmies use all of this equipment, it all depends on their individual needs). Cardiac monitors: These use stickers on the chest connected to wires (called leads) that hook up to a monitor to make sure that baby’s heart is beating at the correct speed and with the correct rhythm. Respiratory monitors: Often part of the cardiac monitors, these use leads to monitor baby’s breathing rate and pattern. Peripheral IVs: These are the “regular” IVs that go into a vein for medications or fluids. Peripheral IVs may be in the feet, hands, arms, or scalps of premature babies. Although scalp IVs look scary to parents, they are very common in the NICU since premature babies don’t always have good veins for IVs in their hands and feet. PICC lines: Percutaneously inserted central catheters, or PICC lines for short, look like regular IVs. They have longer catheters, or tubes, than regular IVs, and travel through the vein into the large veins that empty into the heart. Insertion of these lines is one of the procedures NICU babies commonly undergo. Umbilical catheters: These are inserted into the umbilical cord stump and travel to the large veins and arteries near the heart. Umbilical lines may be inserted into an artery in the umbilical cord, a vein in the umbilical cord, or both, to allow fluid and medication administration, blood pressure monitoring, painless blood sampling, and other procedures. Nasal cannulas: A nasal cannula is a set of small nasal prongs may provide a higher concentration of oxygen than room air. They may also deliver room air at a higher flow, which helps to keep airways open and encourage babies to breathe on their own. CPAP: Continuous positive airway pressure, or CPAP, is a mask or a special set of nasal prongs placed firmly on baby’s nose to constantly blow air. The constant pressure encourages open airways and reminds babies to breathe, and higher concentrations of oxygen may be used. Ventilators: If a baby is put on a ventilator, then procedure called intubation will be used to place a special tube called an endotracheal tube in the airway through the mouth or nose. The ventilator, or respirator, is the machine that delivers breaths to babies who cannot breathe on their own or who don’t breathe well. ECMO: Extracorporeal membrane oxygenation is a highly specialized procedure to oxygenate baby’s blood. ECMO is used only in very sick babies at highly advanced NICUs. With ECMO, the baby’s blood is pumped out of the body so that oxygen can be added and carbon dioxide removed. The blood is then returned to the body. Feeding tubes: A feeding tube travels from the mouth (orogastric- called OG) or from the nose (nasogastric- called NG) to the stomach. Infants who are too sick or weak to eat from the breast or from a bottle receive food through these tubes. Inserting the tubes and giving feedings through them are common procedures among premature babies. Incubators: Premature infants have trouble keeping themselves warm, so incubators are used to provide a warm place for baby to rest. Skin probes constantly measure the baby’s temperature, so he or she doesn’t get too warm or too cold. Phototherapy: Preemies are more likely to have problems from jaundice. Phototherapy lights, also called bili lights, are special lights that help the baby’s body break downbilirubin, the chemical that causes jaundice. It may be easy to feel useless when surrounded by all these machines. But don’t worry your baby needs you more than you think. Insist on doing Kangaroo Care as much as possible. Read to your little one. Hearing your heart beat and voice will relax your baby. (Remember your voice and heart beat was the one constant your baby will remember from being in the womb). Ask questions, stay informed. It is your right as a parent to know what’s going on. Good luck with your journey. Please take good care of yourself, and give yourself permission to make the very best of this brand new parenting experience. Support & Preparation Besides relying on support from those around you. Chubby Bunny is there to make the journey a little less stressful. Through education & support, Chubby Bunny’s main objective is to support families whose lives have been touched by prematurity. Chubby Bunny is the first company in South Africa to supply critical starter packs for premmies. We supply high quality goods ensuring the little miracle is well cared for, from organic skin care sensitive for their soft skin, petite clothing small enough to wrap around their tiny bodies, Premmie nappies, a Premmie Support Booklet equipped to help parents understand the NICU and how

February 25, 2016

What Is In A Name?

Well if you look at all the baby naming sites it can tell you what type of person your baby will be, what colours they will like blah blah. I believe that your personality is not decided by the name someone else gives you, but I also believe that deciding on a name should not be taken lightly. It can be a daunting task to select a baby name and I would like to suggest a few methods that I found very helpful. Don’t be selfish. You might not be happy with your own name and as such you might have the inclination to give your child an ‘interesting’ name, e.g. North West. Keep in mind that your child is the one that has to carry their name for the rest of their lives, they are the ones that will have to stand up to ridicule if you name them Cinnamon. So if you are not going with family names try and keep it simple and practical. Shorter is easier. I come from an Afrikaner family and it is our tradition to pass on family names. If my mother did not put her foot down I would have been known as Dawid Frederik Christiaan. Drikus is a lot easier on the tongue and luckily my mother had the sense to realise this. Don’t get me wrong I am a firm believer in tradition but instead of just following it, try and embrace your tradition family name by giving it a twist. My name for instance was derived from Frederik. So while still keeping with a tradition to name the first born son starting with a ‘D’ and using one of the traditional family names my mother still managed to make my name unique and keep the family happy. Her philosophy was to try and keep our names to six letters or under. Ask. This might seem simple but ask your family what they think of a name you have chosen or perhaps to give suggestions. My sister for instance gave various family members a list of names that she was undecided about and requested we ‘vote’ on our favourite and so my god child received a beautiful name. Say the name. My lovely fiancé gave me this idea. When trying to decide on a name use the name as often as possible when referring to your baby or when talking to them. I talk to Jandri on a daily basis. This method helped us immensely as we were uncertain about a few names and could easily eliminate almost 50% of them as they just did not sound right after using them in conversation for about a week each. They are not a baby forever. Keep in mind that a name that sounds cute when your child is a toddler might not be so cute when they are 23 and doing job interviews. So once again try and remain practical. In the end it remains your choice as parents and be careful of being pressured into a name by family and friends. Everyone is allowed an opinion but it remains your choice in the end. We thought it better to follow a more traditional route and combine our names. After various variations and suggestions from friends and family we have decided our little princess will be known to the world as Jandri. Jani + Drikus = Jandri To me she will always and forever be my little princess, but that is a dad’s privilege.

February 24, 2016

Is Home Education Right For You?

Perhaps you live on a remote farm or your child is not receiving the individual attention he deserves in a crowded classroom. Maybe you don’t agree with the ideological, cultural or religious point of view of the schools in your area, or perhaps you’ve simply had enough of the daily school run… Whatever the reason, if you have considered educating your child at home, you are not alone. In fact, an increasing number of parents are taking on the role of “teacher”. According to the Homeschooling Curriculum Guide, the home education market is growing at a rate of 20% per year! Five reasons parents choose home education: Investing time in your child’s emotional, social, physical and intellectual development: If you choose home education, you take complete responsibility for your child’s education and development. You will be there every step of the way on their journey to adulthood. Flexibility to accommodate your child and your family’s specific needs: Home education allows you more freedom to accommodate a wide range of needs or to simply deal with life as it happens. Perhaps you have to travel frequently for sport or performance commitments, live far from school or suffer a tragedy in the family. It also helps a child who has trouble dealing with peer pressure, is struggling with language barriers or who cannot fit into a rigid school system. Control over the quality and content of your child’s curriculum: A key feature of home education is that children can progress at their own pace, in their own time. It also offers you the opportunity to make decisions about the content of your child’s curriculum. Research the various curriculum providers and choose the one that best suits your circumstances, expectations, norms and values. A good curriculum provider will offer you the necessary material and assistance to guide your child from Grade R to Grade 12. Creating a safe environment for your child to thrive: To be educated in the safe and familiar environment of the home is a wonderful experience for children. No more negative peer pressure, bullying or compromise on religious or moral beliefs. In addition, children who are educated at home work individually, measuring themselves against their own performance and not a class average. As such, these children learn to identify their own strengths and weaknesses, they always have to take responsibility for their performance, and they quickly learn that the outcome of their work equals their input. Have fun! It is such a privilege to spend the day with your child, to be a part of their learning process and see the awe on their faces as they discover more about the world. Enjoy this time that you have together and have fun in your lessons. The opportunity to explore your child’s interests and strengths is a fascinating journey – treasure it. What about children with special needs? Home education is a viable option for successfully teaching children with special needs, and parents choose this option for a number of reasons. They may be frustrated that schools are unable to provide the services their child needs, they may be discouraged by the way their child is treated by classmates, and in some instances teachers, or they may simply want to create a more ideal learning environment. Whatever the motivation, the benefits of educating children with special needs at home are varied and include: Guaranteed one-to-one instruction. Effective control over the environment to minimise distractions. Tailored instruction based on a child’s unique learning needs. Flexibility to adjust the daily schedule. More pertinent and productive learning. Greater opportunity for teaching real-world skills. Opportunity to tend to a child’s sensory needs. What does the law say? According to Section 51 of the South African Schools Act (Act 84 of 1996), home education is a legally recognised alternative to education at registered public and/or private schools. Parents of children in Grade 1 to Grade 9 (ages 7 to 15) have to apply to the head of the Provincial Department of Basic Education to register for home education. Grade 10 to Grade 12 learners, or learners older than 15 years, are not required to register. About Impak Impak was established in 2002 as a curriculum provider to home education learners. We have, however, experienced remarkable growth over the past 14 years and in 2014 we expanded our offering to include a broad range of educational products and services for schools and tutors. We currently serve approximately 10 000 learners and more than 400 schools and tutors across South Africa. We offer a CAPS (National Curriculum and Assessment Policy Statement) aligned curriculum for Grade R to Grade 12 that is designed to ensure holistic learner development. In addition, we provide parents with all the products and services they need to successfully educate their children at home or with an Impak tutor. This includes step-by-step guidance in every subject, as well as online subject forums and other subject support services. We believe that a sound, comprehensive curriculum is more than a general guide of ideas and activities; it is a resource designed to meet each learner’s needs and to assure learning and development in all areas, including social, emotional and physical development, language and literacy skills, and creative expression. For more information, visit www.impak.co.za

February 23, 2016

Let them go… Let them go…

School started last month and yet your little ones are still clawing to you like you are delivering them to a place of intense torment and misery! The teachers have to pry your child off you and you have just discovered that they have superhuman strength. They hold so tight on to you, with those tiny arms and legs, that breaking free of their grip leaves you sweatier than a cardio gym session! Once you finally break free, and reorganise your clothes, you head to your car walking the walk of the guilty, of the unsure, of the broken-hearted and anxious parent. You second guess your decision to leave them. Every single day. And some days you cry yourself to work/home – the entire drive. When is this going to get better???! I’ve had a few parents call me over the past weeks to ask if they are doing the right thing? Are they causing more harm than good leaving them? Should they say goodbye or just sneak away? Does this aggravate separation anxiety? And my answer is this little scenario… Imagine you need to have an operation. Your mom is the one who will be taking you on the day and you are very nervous about it. Unfortunately, the day looms and there is no backing out. Your mom arrives and takes you to the hospital. You meet the doctor and it’s time for your mom to go. Which way would you prefer she said goodbye… OK my love. (HAND SQUEEZE) The doctor is here so I am going to leave you. (STILL HOLDING HAND) I am sure he’s a great doctor and it will be over before you know it! (TIGHT HUG) It won’t be too bad, you will see, and I will be back before you even realise. (HAND PAT) Good luck my love! Mommy loves you so much! I will be thinking of you the whole time. (BIG TIGHT HUG AND A WORRIED GOODBYE LOOK) Bye…. (SOFT TEARY VOICE) or…. Look darling! The doctor is here. He is so efficient – imagine how great he’s going to be in the op! I am going to go and leave you to it. I know you are in great hands and you are going to be absolutely fine. I will be back to collect you when it’s over. I love you. Bye darling. (HUG and KISS) Which one instils more confidence in you? Which one stills your concerns over the op? Just let them go. Say a very upbeat, positive goodbye that reassures them and makes them feel that if you are so happy to leave them and so confident about the goodbye, they must be in a safe place and they are sure to have a fun day. Prolonging the goodbye, giving in to the tears only makes them feel that you are also not sure about leaving them and equally worried, and if you are going to hurry back as soon as possible, it must be a terrible place to be. So… when the teachers tell you to just say a goodbye and go, trust them. And the answer to “When is this going to get better?” is, as soon as you can confidently leave them. They will pick up on your confidence and soon feel it themselves. You can do this!

February 18, 2016

Handy Tech Tips For The Back To School Run

Faryal Sacoor, Merchandising Buying Manager at Incredible Connection The back to school season is officially in full swing and many parents are still scratching their heads trying to find the best technology to help with their children’s education and learning. To help relieve you of any potential headaches, here’s a list of pointers. Many schools throughout the country are jumping on the digital age bandwagon and are now starting to embrace tablets and their associated benefits. But for some, it is still quite unnerving to say goodbye to traditional handbooks and embrace everything in electronic format. Without sounding too Borg-like, resistance seems to be futile. In fact, today’s learners are embracing a medium they have grown comfortable with given the growth of digital music and video, games, apps, and instant messaging. It’s often hard to believe that the younger generation are comfortable with tablets – even from as young as 2 – 3 years of age. A great example of this is the ClickTab Kids. This 7” 3G enabled tablet caters specifically for children between the ages of 3 and 10 years. The tablet comes pre-loaded with over 25 Apps and age appropriate Games for children with access to an App store with hundreds more. And for those inevitable drops and falls, the unit also comes fitted with a durable silicone rubber sleeve built to absorb the potential falls. Most importantly, is the built in parental controls that allow parents to limit the time that children can spend on the tablets, the time of day that play is allowed and even WhatsApp and games they can access. Parents can even set up profiles for different children of different ages and manage each child’s profile separately. For those with older kids, there is another tablet option with features such as voice calling, dual sim, FM radio and 3G embedded – and of course a front and rear camera to cater for the “selfie” generation, just to name a few. And in addition to a tablet, instead of relying on fingers that can very easily get dirty, consider buying a stylus. It helps with the transition from pen and paper to the screen and also enables really fine work for creative types who love drawing on their tablets. This makes a great birthday gift as well because it is so cost-effective and comes in a number of colours and styles. But tablets aside, there are also other gadgets on the market that can benefit children and do not necessarily cost an arm and a leg E-reader – there is something to be said for reading on a display that is designed to be as natural to the printed paper as possible. Factor in amazing storage and incredible battery life that potentially spans weeks and you have a more than functional device for the avid bookworm. What’s more – there are so many versions and options available that will not only meet your requirements and budget but one that the whole family can enjoy. Fitness Band – Another great gadget to consider is a fitness band like the Fitbit for example. With the rising trend of childhood obesity in South Africa, being active is vital to children growing up and this handy little device is a great way to motivate you and keep track of fitness goals which can then be incorporated where relevant across the family – ensuring that you have fun and exercise with your kids. There are a variety of fitness bands available on the market today are really great for basic use and most of them work very well in practise. In the end, your buying decision needs to be based around comfort and aesthetics. Of course, parents also should never lose sight of safety and security. This means for whatever technology you choose an anti-virus or internet security programme is a must. Most feature parental controls to help with internet monitoring as well as time restrictions when it comes to surfing the internet or playing games. Fortunately, many of the more well-known solutions come with multiple licenses so parents can install them on a tablet, laptop, and smartphone without any hassles. And of course you don’t want the hassle if something goes wrong with your products – so make sure you check warranties and return policies. Go for a technology outlet that offers a no-nonsense warranty 1 year swop out and even better, if they have a rental options or trade in options available, where you can bring in your old tech and get a great deal on new models then even better! Technology is a great aid for children and parents alike. While it might be intimidating at times, using the internet for research or asking staff at a retail outlet for advice and assistance should make the transition that much easier to ensure you get a fun and educational device for your kids, but one that is also safe and provides peace of mind for mom and dad.

February 12, 2016

Sugar Drinks at School, a Leading Cause of Obesity and Impaired Learning

With hundreds of thousands of learners back at school, parents are reminded to restock their fridges and pantries with foods and beverages that provide brain-boosting nutrients to help their children perform at their best. SA’s recently released National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (SANHANES) refers to the poor state of children’s school lunches in the country. Of particular concern is the high intake of sugary cool drinks – about 2 in 3 learners buy sugary drinks at least twice a week, with each soft drink containing up to 55g of sugar. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO) that is 40g more sugar than the recommended maximum daily limit for children. Drinking too many sugary drinks is considered to be the leading cause of obesity in adolescents, especially among schoolboys. The study points out that the prevalence of obesity has doubled in teenage boys the past six years, making them more prone to chronic lifestyle diseases such as diabetes. According to nutritional experts, these beverages are loaded with empty calories and provide little or no essential nutrients. They are linked not only to weight gain but also to poor health and tooth decay in children. Nutritionists recommend water or herbal teas as a healthier alternative to fizzy drinks or sugar filled fruit juices, with Rooibos tea topping the list. Ernest du Toit, spokesperson of the SA Rooibos Council says Rooibos is as effective as water for hydrating the body and has additional health properties that water doesn’t have. “Rooibos is affordable, tasty and amazingly beneficial for children. It is rich in antioxidants which helps to protect healthy cells from damage caused by free radicals and can reduce the risk of a variety of diseases, including cardiovascular disease and some cancers. Rooibos also prevents DNA damage, inflammation and is helpful in combating diabetes. “Added to this, Rooibos contains no caffeine, fats or carbohydrates, is a natural immune-booster and relieves allergy symptoms, which are common in children,” remarks du Toit. Sugary drinks have also been found to have an adverse effect on children’s brains. A study conducted by the University of California revealed that consuming excessive quantities of sugar-sweetened drinks can have a major impact on children’s brain function and impair their ability to concentrate and learn at school. In contrast, Rooibos tea will keep your child’s mind sharp since it shields the brain from stress and it protects against a process known as lipid peridoxation (whfree radicals damage brain cells and nerve tissues.) Du Toit adds that Rooibos is also incredibly nutrient-rich. “It is rich in Vitamin C, calcium, manganese and fluoride, helps to build strong bones and teeth, and is safe to consume without limit.” To help parents pack refreshments that will make the grade, the SA Rooibos Council has compiled the following Rooibos iced tea- and popsicle recipes that will have the kids asking for more. Rooibos iced tea: One litre of Rooibos tea using four to six teabags Sweeten the tea with honey to taste and leave it in the fridge to cool overnight Experiment with this basic iced tea, by adding mint, lemon, orange, granadilla, mango or apple, or a combination of flavours until you find one that your children love. You can even get them involved in mixing their own flavours. Note: Juiced or squeezed fresh fruit usually delivers the best results, but you can also use preservative-free fruit juice. Mixing it with cold Rooibos will make it go further and keeping a jug of it in the fridge should mean you don’t have to keep buying juice. The good news is that cold rooibos can be kept in the fridge for up to two weeks without spoiling. Rooibos ice-lollies: By pouring some Rooibos iced tea into popsicle containers or ice-cube trays and freezing it, you can also make fun, refreshing, healthy after school or sports treats.

February 12, 2016

Headaches – A Leading Cause Of Absenteeism

In a developing economy such as South Africa a healthy work force is vital for future growth. It is therefore not only necessary, but vital to identify causes of absenteeism amongst working-age adults. A recent study found that not only are migraine and tension-type headaches among the most common causes of lost work time, but the prevalence is around the age of 40 – a time when individuals are at the peak of their work abilities. The study was published in Occupational Neurology and examined the substantial impact of headaches on individual work productivity. Furthermore, it found that it also places a burden on the employers and society in terms of medical costs. The research also indicates a difference in demographics which is also reflected in absenteeism: Approximately 18% of females and 6% of males in the general population suffer from migraines. Dr. Elliot Shevel, a South African migraine surgery pioneer and the medical director of The Headache Clinic, says chronic daily headaches (which mean 15 or more headache days per month) are a leading cause for absenteeism and it represents a widely accepted stage of pain progression that occurs in 2-4% of the population. “Treatment of headaches can be acute or preventive. The goals of acute treatment are timely alleviation of pain and associated symptoms without reoccurrence and restoring the ability to function. This also minimizes the use of back-up and rescue medications, and is thus providing the best cost-effective management which will in turn lead to better individual productivity,” he says. “Migraine preventative medications are used to decrease future attack frequency, severity and duration, improving the response to acute treatment, and improving the overall function of the patient.” The current study suggest using preventative medications in instances where patients are reporting migraines either 3-6 or more days per month, especially when these are working days. The burden from letting headaches go untreated also results in societal costs from underemployment and unemployment among those of working age who suffer. Shevel recommends sufferers should seek professional help when headaches or migraines start to interfere with their functioning at work. “We have a multidisciplinary team who can apply both acute and preventative treatment.” Contact us on 0861 678 911 or visit our website at www.theheadacheclinic.net to find out more.

February 5, 2016

Meal planning for the child with ADHD

Ask ten nutrition experts what you should eat and you will get ten, often-conflicting diet plans. Add Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) to the mix and you will be even more confused. Firstly ADHD is not caused by diet. There have been numerous studies over the years to support this statement. Does diet affect ADHD children? Of course, Diet, as in “what we eat”, affects each one of us whether we have ADHD or not. If you feel unsteady on a stairway, you grab the banister to steady yourself. Likewise, if your child’s (or your) brain chemistry is off kilter with ADHD, favouring healthy foods engenders equilibrium. By providing a healthy diet and environment is the most pleasurable – and the least invasive – way to care for your loved ones and yourself. The information given in this article need not be exclusively for the use of the ADHD child but all members of the family will benefit from making this subtle yet effective change to their daily eating schedule. The diet for the ADHD child is the bedrock on which you need to build all other therapies. It is no use adding a handful of supplements to your child’s diet if their actual daily intake is not even meeting the basic recommended dietary intakes (RDI’s) for their age. Supplements added to a balanced healthy diet will be much more effective if taken with good food than as an isolated tablet. The ADHD child’s response to therapies like Occupational therapy, physiotherapy etc. will be much better if the child has the necessary energy resources to draw from during a therapy session. If your child requires medication to treat her ADHD symptoms then starting off with a sound, healthy dietary platform will only enhance the effectiveness of the medication. Likewise attentiveness, concentration and participation in class is a lot more probable if your child has eaten a healthy, well balanced breakfast and this is true for all children, not just children with ADHD. Allergies have also been studied extensively with their link to ADHD so let’s just briefly unpack this before we go into the details of some healthy diet tips. Children and adults, who have allergies, be they to foods, additives or the environment are not generally happy people while their allergies are aggravating them. A child who has rhinitis (runny nose) and is constantly sniffing and coughing due to the aggravation of a post nasal drip will struggle to sit still and focus on what the teacher is saying or the work he should be doing. The distinction needs to be made between ‘food allergies causing ADHD versus the symptoms of the allergy exacerbating the symptoms of ADHD. If you suspect your child has allergic tendencies to certain foods then you must get that seen to by taking your child to a specialist or undertaking an elimination diet under the advice of a trained professional. Having said all of this, changing diet is a process and not like taking a pill. It takes time, commitment and patience and more importantly ‘buy-in’ from the family members. When changing eating habits, it is important to involve the family members and give explanations. Children respond well when they understand. Children are also extremely trusting and if the change can make sense they will generally give it a good try. When making changes to the diet it is important to observe the context of the whole change process. For example if you cut out all chicken from your child’s diet, it may not be the lack of chicken that is causing irritability and discontent. It might be that you took away all her favourite meals in one shot and she’s a little upset about it. Looking at the whole picture is a good idea and moderation is always good. Wanting your child to eat well is one thing. Getting him to do so is another. As already mentioned the best way to get your child to eat well is to eat well yourself. That is having good food at hand and minimizing the less healthful choices. Letting your child help prepare food magically whets her appetite. Creating something yummy is empowering no matter what your age. Daily foods to include: Good Starches If you take in a lot of sugary treats such as sweets, fizzy and sugary cool drinks, cakes and biscuits it will cause your blood sugar levels to rise and fall due to the insulin (hormone to break down sugar) levels that will rise and fall. This constant up and down will result in mood changes and irritability. When children get a blood sugar drop, unlike us, they will try and feel better by getting busier and will do what ever it takes to stay alert which often results in over compensation. Offer low glycaemic carbohydrate foods as often as possible, like seed bread, rice, pasta, provitas etc. Foods are well labelled with Low Glycaemic Index labels and these should be foods of choice for your ADHD child. Limit fruit juices to 1 glass diluted fruit juice per day. Eat whole fruits instead. Aim to include 2 – 3 fruits per day. Offer water for thirst. Iced rooibos tea mixed with a little pure fruit juice is also a refreshing option. Remember however that it is the glycaemic (sugar) load of the whole meal that is important so including a protein with the carbohydrate will be an advantage to stabilizing blood sugar levels. This also helps when you offer starches that are a little higher on the glycaemic index, like a white hot dog roll or a tortilla. Good proteins Have a serving of protein rich food at every meal and snack, including breakfast. Sources of protein include eggs, fish, meat, cheese and soybeans, nuts, peanut butter. Eat snacks like cheese sticks and biltong slices. Good veggies For the good of your health, use a wide variety of vegetables and prepare them in diverse ways. Aim daily to include 3

February 4, 2016

SLEEP, BREASTFEEDING AND YOUR BABY- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE

When should my little one be sleeping through? Every baby and toddler has a unique sleeping and feeding pattern, so be careful of comparing your schedule with that of other moms. If you are comfortable and happy with how things are going, then there is no need to worry or intervene. This is a very rough guide if you aren’t sure what to expect: Newborn – 15-17H sleep in 24H, waking every 2-4 hours for feeding 0 – 3 Months – 4H sleep in 24H, with about 3 naps in the day and waking up 0-3 times at night for feeding. Longer night sleeps (about 5 hours) established by the end of 3 months. 3 – 6 Months – 3H in 24H, still napping about 3 times a day and waking 0-3 times at night. 6 – 12 Months – 13H in 24H, napping about twice a day. Night waking may increase in this period, although baby will only need 1 or 2 night feedings. 12 – 24 Months – 13H sleep in 24H, with about 1 daily nap and 1 night-time waking. Breastmilk or formula milk? Even though every mom knows “breast is best”, after 7 nights of not sleeping due to a hungry baby, it can be tempting to supplement with formula milk, which many believe keep their baba more satisfied. It is true that formula milk is more difficult to digest than breastmilk, which means night feeds won’t need to be as frequent in formula fed babies. However, this doesn’t mean that breast milk is insufficient – far from it. In fact, one of breastmilk’s countless benefits is that it changes composition at night to help your little one sleep better. Night breastmilk has increased concentrations of tryptophan which increases serotonin, the neurotransmitter that will keep baby calm and sleeping. A study in 2010 showed that whether a mother breastfeeds, formula feeds, or combines the two, it makes no difference to how much sleep she gets. Night-waking for breastfeeding and comfort are perfectly normal; however, if it is making life difficult for mom and is affecting the family, night weaning is possible – consult a professional about doing it in a way that is healthy for baby and the family. Is my breastmilk really enough? Mother’s milk is sufficient and perfect for baby under 6 months. However, babies may wake up hungry if they are getting inconsistent and unsatisfying feeds throughout the day. Ironically, giving formula milk or cereal at night instead of breastfeeding will inhibit supply of breastmilk, perpetuating the problem. Breastfeed on demand throughout the day to ensure regular and adequate nutrition. If you have to be away from little one for a few hours, express milk in between feeds. Folklore suggests that drinking a glass of wine or beer, especially before the last breastfeed of the day, improves milk supply and helps baby sleep. Research shows that while alcohol in your breastmilk does make baby fall asleep faster, it results in shorter sleep times – not very helpful at all! And while the occasional single serving of alcohol is safe during breastfeeding, consistent and regular alcohol consumption can affect neurological and motor development. Good news is that moms shouldn’t have to give up their precious morning coffee – studies show that a moderate intake of caffeine (up to 5 cups of coffee) has no impact on baby’s sleep patterns, especially if you consumed caffeine regularly during pregnancy. Trust your instincts – if you can see baby becoming more alert and restless after a lot of caffeine, then try decreasing your intake. What about solids? A night feed of baby cereal, or even cereal in a bottle throughout the night, can seem like the perfect solution to an exhausted mommy, even when baby is younger than the recommended weaning age of 4-6 months. Unfortunately, research shows that cereal has no impact on baby’s sleeping duration, and in fact introducing solids before 4 months may shorten sleep duration until 2 years of age! Besides this, feeding infant cereals too early carries several risks, including impaired growth and development, nutrient deficiencies, risk of overweight later in life, and choking (especially if fed from a bottle throughout the night). Adequate iron, magnesium or zinc is essential for a good night’s sleep – make sure that you are getting enough of these minerals in your diet, or via a good supplement, while breastfeeding. After 6 months, include sources of these minerals (animal meats, iron-fortified grains, nut butters, legumes, dark green vegetables) in your child’s solids, or supplement with a health professional’s guidance. Give it time! There are many reasons for night waking, from illness to simply seeking contact with mom or dad. Waking at night is normal for infants, and they will eventually grow out of it as part of normal development!

January 28, 2016

Stimulating the Right Brain Can Create a Genius Baby

You can create a genius baby if you understand how the human brain is structured. In most adults, the left hemisphere of the brain is dominant. Left-brained people think in a logical, linear manner, while right-brained people think in a non-linear, intuitive fashion. The left-brained learn best through hearing, while the right-brained learn best through seeing and feeling. Our school system, geared to logical, linear thinking, favors the left-brained. Right-brained children often do only averagely well in school because they are not able to show how they arrived at their answers, having reached them by unusual methods or through sheer intuition. You should therefore not lose heart if your child gets low grades in school. It may be a sign of a genius in the making! A great example of a right-brained person is the scientist Albert Einstein. An acknowledged genius, he suffered from speech difficulties in early childhood. So, is there a genius baby in your house? There may well be. As Glenn Doman and Makoto Shichida, two right-brain educators, put it: accessing the right brain enables a child to learn better and could unlock genius-like abilities. These include speed-reading skills, a photographic memory, the ability to accurately sketch something seen only once, a facility for performing instant math equations, and rare musical talent. The right brain is also responsible for visual and spatial processing, and the ability to see problems in multiple dimensions, as great physicists do. Einstein possessed this ability. If the right brain is so much more intuitive and creative, why is our left brain more dominant? For a very good reason. It does the important job of filtering out a lot of the information bombarding our senses. This helps us to avoid “sensory overload”. If the right brain was dominant, we would constantly be reacting to a host of information being thrown at us. Think of the autism sufferer who, being hypersensitive to sensory stimuli, finds ordinary social interactions overwhelming, and you get the idea. Our left brain helps us hold a conversation while ignoring background noises. It ensures that a great deal of the sensory input we receive remains beneath the radar of conscious awareness. Right-brain teaching helps us to reclaim some of the benefits of right-brain dominance by changing the way we absorb and recall information. Most people memorize data by storing it in their short-term memory in the left brain. Only repetitive use leads to its transfer it to the long-term memory of the right brain. Right-brain teaching helps us bypass the left brain and directly access our long-term memory, helping us learn faster. It allows us to recall information received on a subconscious level – for instance, through speed reading. Unlike left-brain learning, right-brain learning does not require conscious effort. In small children, the right brain is already activated, making learning especially rapid. This is because the right brain develops before the left and is dominant until the age of three and a half. So, if you want your child to be a genius baby, stimulate her right brain. [hr] Author: Madeleine Fitzpatrick. Madeleine Fitzpatrick is the editor for BrillBaby. Go to www.brillbaby.com to learn more on how to make a genius baby.

January 21, 2016

Your Teen May Be Allergic to You?

Adolescence can be a very tough time for both the teen and the parent. I say ‘can be’ because not all teens talk back and slam their bedroom doors. If your teenager does not behave this way, feel fortunate that these ‘emotional thunderstorms’ don’t occur in your home. It may also be possible that your teen just hasn’t reached that point in their development and tough times could still be on the horizon. I urge you NOT to decide your teen’s attitude or challenging behaviours is a result of your lack of parenting skills. You may very well be doing an awesome job as a parent and your teen may STILL behave badly. The first step for the parent of a teen with attitude is to relax and not take it personally. The next step is try and understand what’s going on with their teen and see their child in a different light. There are many changes going on in a teen’s body and brain that they have no control over. I love how practicing clinical psychologist Anthony Wolf, Ph.D. put it in simple terms; your teenager has basically developed an allergy to you, her parent. In his book Get Out of MY Life, but first could you take me and Cheryl to the mall? (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2002) Dr. Wolf had this to say about teens: All kinds of changes, physical and intellectual, mark adolescence. But the hallmark of adolescence – the transformation that defines this period of life – is a psychological change. It is the adolescent mandate. A new and powerful voice rises inside of children. They must obey this voice and, in doing so, their lives change forever. Simply put, the mandate tells the adolescent to turn away from childhood and childish feelings. Since childhood is marked by the domination by parents, it follows that adolescents must turn away from their parents. During this time of separation, adolescents are moving physically and emotionally away from parents, gravitating more toward peers. This can introduce even more challenges for you if the peers they are hanging out with have been known to participate in risky behaviours or have taken on attire or appearance that represents a less than desirable lifestyle. Because of the connections they are developing with peers, it’s important to avoid criticising their new friends. Doing so is criticising your own child. If this is your situation, encourage your teen to hang out with these friends under your supervision, in your home. She may resist but do it anyway and without any emotion on your part. While your teen is establishing boundaries to increase her independence, you’re already difficult job of being her parent gets even more challenging; you must also monitor her activities enough to know where she is going, who she is spending time with, and what activities she is participating in, both off and online. You are responsible for her safety and well being and you can accomplish this goal by spending as much time with her as she will allow and engaging her in conversations on her better days; moments when her allergy to you seems to be at its lowest level of influence. To those who take the stance that we must trust our teenagers and provide them with privacy, I say ‘yes, but to an extent.’ Trust must be earned and is not an automatic right. Slowly give your teens small amounts of room to demonstrate trust through their ability to follow through on agreements and use of the internet. Know that eventually your child will transform into a young adult and once again, you’ll feel love from her but in a much different way, a more fulfilling way.

January 20, 2016

Teaching with routine and sameness

Have you ever noticed how your children love to catch you making a mistake, especially when you do something out of order? Children learn about the world around them by sameness and routine and they crave patterns that they can learn from. One evening we had visitors over for dinner and it was a special occasion. The food was coming out of the oven in phases to keep it warm. One of our young guests must have been hungry so she served herself what was on the table and took a bite. My oldest daughter, the perfectionist child, was quick to catch her breaking a dinner-time rule and called attention to the violation. Our family procedures had trained her that we all start eating together, after the blessing. Use this teaching tool to your advantage, especially when you want to increase the cooperation from your young children. Family situations such as the morning rush, dinner time and bedtime are 3 situations that can be stressful on parents and children. Creating a reoccurring sequence of events during these times can make them easier to get through. Let’s take bedtime for example. Children don’t like going to bed because they fear that they are going to miss out on something good. They have this perception that “the REAL party begins when they have to go to bed.” At the same time, parents can’t wait to get their children in bed so they can de-stress, relax or in some cases, get more work done. If your children sense that you’re trying to rush them off to bed, they will prolong the event. Allow your children to help you come up with all of the activities at bedtime and put them in sequential order. Have them help you create large pictures that represent each of the events in the sequence: a story book, a pair of pyjamas, a toilet, a glass of water, etc. Next, tape each of the pictures high on the wall and out of their reach, placing them in sequential order. The additional key to success with this activity is to include your children in the process of creating it and to make it fun! Put aside your mind chatter and stress, and take on an excited demeanour as you call out each of the items in order to have them complete them. Go with them and participate. The more engaged and fun you are in this process, the more they will feel a part of it. If your child catches you doing something out of order, relax and don’t get defensive. Be humble and thank them for catching the mistake. They will feel respected and important that they uncovered the flaw. Just try it on purpose sometime; break a sequence just to give them something to focus on and watch their legalistic nature make an issue of your mistake.Teaching children cooperation and social skills can be a challenge. Your little children do not arrive in the world ready to comply. It takes time, patience, and practice to get them to cooperate and participate. Use routine and sameness whenever you can and notice how much easier parenting can be.

January 20, 2016

How Does The Word “Don’t” Influence Your Child

Have you ever wondered why your kids do exactly what you asked them not to? It’s a general complaint that parents have and yet the answer and the solution are not that complicated. The solution comes in understanding how our minds process information. Believe it or not, our minds process information in pictures, not words. And by pictures, I mean full representations including sights, sounds, smells and tastes. Words are abstractions of information and cannot replace experiences. As an example, imagine that you had never encountered a mango before. No matter how many words I use to explain the experience of eating a mango it is simply not the same as me actually giving you one to taste. Until that point in time, regardless of my words, you have no idea of what a mango is. Once you’ve seen one and tasted it, however, your mind creates a full representation of it and you can actually say that you know what a mango is. Our mind is constantly making up these multi-sensory representations of our world and this is how we process all the information coming at us every second. So how does this relate to talking to kids? Well, if we always make a visual representation in order to process information, then we do this in order to understand words too. In other words, if I say to you I’m sitting at my desk now writing on my computer, your mind will create a visual image of that based on your own experience. So all words are first translated into pictures (and again, I use this term loosely to include sights, sounds, smells, touch etc). This is why we don’t process negatives well. In other words, if you say to a child: “Don’t touch my glasses” then they first need to create a visual image of themselves touching your glasses in order to process NOT touching them. Creating a visual of NOT doing something is much more complicated than creating an image of doing something. So, if you want your kids to do what you say, you need to tell them what it is you WANT them to do, not what you DON’T want them to do. For example, if you don’t want them to fall down the stairs, then saying “Don’t fall down the stairs” increases the possibility of them actually doing that by having them create a mental image of falling down the stairs. However, if you say “Walk carefully down the stairs” doesn’t that create a much more positive mental image of what you actually want? Keep in mind that our unconscious minds operate in exactly the same way as a 5-year old child, so if this is how you speak to a kid, then this is how you should be speaking to your own unconscious mind too. If you’re constantly saying to your unconscious mind “I don’t want to be in debt” then what you’re processing is the image of being in debt, and you’re more likely to create that in your life. The positive side of this would be “I want abundance in my life” which sends a much clearer image of what you’d like to be seeing in your world. What it comes down to is this: Whether you’re speaking to your kids or yourself, FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.

January 20, 2016

What Happens When You Make A Mistake?

If you haven’t snapped at your child, forgotten something you were suppose to do for your child, arrived late for a recital or game, dropped the ball on a promise, or made a parenting decision you regretted, then you aren’t human. We parents are often stressed, busy, over worked, forgetful and tired and we make mistakes. I remember too well saying something like, “I know I said I’d take you _____________, but I’m really busy and have to get _____________ done before dinner tonight.” And then there are the painful incidents in which I snapped or yelled when caught off guard or noticed something written on with crayon or broken, and automatically thinking about how much that item cost or what I’m going to have to spend to fix, clean or replace an item. Austrian neurologist and the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, taught us that we have automatic systems in place that defend our ego from being hurt by guilt and fear. When we parents get angry toward our children, it’s a way of protecting our ego from feeling guilty that we mismanaged our schedule and didn’t show up on time, or that we forgot something that was important to our children. It’s also occurs when we think about having to pay out money that was not in the budget and we’re already over extended financially. When we find ourselves in this situation, we must calm down and breath. A few deep breaths will help us manage our emotions and see the situation for what it really is; not quite as serious as we had ourselves believing. If we’re able to, it works remarkably well to see the situation from our child or teen’s perspective. I remember my teenage son coming how with a dent in the family car and how driven I felt to keep asking why and how in an angry tone. So when you do something like the things I listed in the first paragraph that could have been avoided, be ready to provide a MAKEUP to them. Providing a makeup means offering something to your child that you will do as a way of making up for the mistake you made. You would say, “Wow sweetheart, I am so sorry that I forgot about taking you to the mall as I had promised. I owe you a makeup.” The next step is to offer something as that makeup and here is an important ground rule: it should not include buying them an object. The ideal makeups should be about spending time together without technology or money. They should be walks in the park, dates, playing table games, or crafting. Make believe tea parties would be great for little children and “hanging out” together to play catch in the backyard would be appropriate for a teenager. It is extremely important that the adult who made the mistake must be the one to determine the makeup, not the victim. And not only does this work well with kids, it also applies to handling mistakes with significant others as well!

January 19, 2016

Learning Using Everyday Items From Around Your Home

This article is to give you some fun ideas on how to stimulate your child’s development at home using everyday things from around the home. To touch briefly on the biology of learning, which in a nutshell is all about the brain. A child learns the most up to the age of 3 years. This is because when children are born, their brains are around 25% of the adult size, however by 1 year your child’s brain has shot up to about 66% of it’s eventual size and by the age of 3 years, your child’s brain is nearly 90% of it’s eventual size. The brain & the nerves in the spinal cord work together as a network sending messages backwards & forwards to every part of the body. Each person is born with a certain number of brain cells (in the region of 100 billion), which is the potential of the brain. What makes the difference is the number of connections between these brain cells that activates this potential of our brains. Stimulating the brain helps to connect more of the brain cells, so that we use as much of our brain’s potential as possible. This is where some of the debate around the influence of genetics and experiences that we provide for our children come into play – which is more important? Science shows us that before birth, babies’ brains develop in a predictable genetic way. But recent scientific studies show that the brain is “moulded” by experience. Some of the early connections between the brain’s neurons depend on stimulating the senses (e.g.. sight, sound, smell, taste & touch). In this way, these early learning experiences can affect the ability of the central nervous system to learn & store information. Different types of learners: Visual Learners: Like to look at different things e.g. pictures & models Will close their eyes to visualize Prefers quite environments Remembers faces better than names Auditory Learners: Are talkative & like the sound of their own voices Listens to others Can work in noisy environments Remembers names better than faces Kinesthetic Learners: Prefer to move around Very active, fidgets & can’t concentrate for long Prefers to actively participate in order to learn Find it difficult to repeat what is heard Your child will also fall into one of these types of learners, but it’s so important to add the other half of the equation before you can really gauge which type your child falls into. The other important part of the puzzle is: what is developmentally appropriate for his / her age. For example: If we look at attention span, we need to remember that it is developmentally appropriate for babies to concentrate 1 minute per year of their age. So what might feel like a short attention span for us adults, could actually be longer than is developmentally appropriate & therefore doesn’t necessarily mean that your baby is a kinesthetic learner. Everyday items for educational play: From your Kitchen: From about the 6 month sitting stage, containers are a huge hit! For example, plastic Tupperware containers or even packaging that you would throw away. Things like empty plastic milk bottles make super rattles, empty Coke bottles for encouraging crawling (loco motor skills) & empty margarine tubs make great stacking tubs. Also, an empty pot with a wooden spoon makes a lovely drum sound & starts to teach concepts like cause & effect. Experimenting with different types of food is a wonderful way to introduce different textures as well as to stimulate the control of the small muscles (fine motor) of the hand. Things to look out for: Food allergies that your child may have Safety of the object e.g.. size of the object & possibility of chocking hazard From your Bedroom: Different textures of clothing eg. Cotton, satin, velvet, corduroy, wool, chiffon which stimulates the sensation of touch. Making home made mobiles using a clothing hanger & tying different interesting objects to hang from it. This is to help with visually tracking objects. Using any soft light clean clothing to play peek a boo games, which start with the journey of mastering object permanence. Things to look out for: Safety of the object e.g.. that possible chocking hazards such as buttons are very secure on the item of clothing. Any loose cords or ties are supervised to prevent the risk of strangulation. From your Bathroom: Toiletry items that are non toxic for example, baby aqueous cream, petroleum jelly, shaving cream which all provide wonder messy tactile stimulation. Mirrors can be a wonderful source of entertainment & fun! Mirrors can be used in so many different ways for example: smearing safe toiletries on them (sensory experience), playing peek a boo with behind them (stimulating the concept of object permanence). Body brushes, loofahs & exfoliating mesh sponges are also fantastic sources of different textures which stimulate the sensation of touch. Things to look out for: That the toiletry items are non toxic & that the child is supervised so that he / she doesn’t put toiletries in their mouths. Always supervise the child around water to prevent any drowning which can happen in just a few centimetres of water. Everyday things you hope they won’t play with, but they probably will: Land line & cell phones – I’ve had mine washed in the dogs water bowl, but the favorite place for a lot of young children is to throw them in the toilet! Remotes for the TV, DVD machine & CD player – a fantastic toy from a baby’s point of view because it responds with lights & noises when they push the buttons. It does also teach them cause & effect, but there are many other objects that we would prefer them to play with that will teach them the same thing.. Appliances such as buttons & dials on the oven, stove, dishwasher & washing machines – again young babies love these machines responding to them, but they pose dangerous risks such as fire. Children really do learn through play!

January 14, 2016

Living Out Loud: Teaching Children Through Words and Actions

One day when my son was about 8, we were driving into town to pick up some supplies at a hardware store. I was rushed for time because the store was about to close. As I rolled through a stop sign, my son asked me, “Dad, weren’t you supposed to stop at that sign back there?” I explained to him that we had less than 15 minutes to get to the store before it closed, and I needed to purchase parts for a broken appliance at home. He didn’t care about my reason for failing to come to a full stop. Instead, he said, “How am I supposed to learn how to be good driver from you, Dad?” I remember this incident all too well. It stayed with me because it was a turning point in understanding even more strongly how important my role as a father was and how crucial my actions and words were for his growth into a responsible young man. It’s not too late to change our habits and teach our children wonderful life skills they will retain and use over time. I’m talking about things we can say and do that will instruct children about limits and rules by demonstrating our own for them to see and hear. Remember, you are a living, breathing role model for your kids. Demonstrate your own boundaries as learning tools for your children. Here are 6 ways of teaching children limits and boundaries by “Living Out Loud”; what to say and do in front of the kids. When you’re ready to stop watching television and your children are nearby, say out loud, “That’s all the TV I need to watch for now.” If you realize that you need to stop one activity in favor of another, say: “Mom has to stop making dinner and go put in a load of laundry.” If someone hurts you, say: “I don’t like it when you do that, it hurts me!” If the phone is ringing and you don’t want to answer it, you could say: “I don’t feel like talking on the phone right now because I want to spend time with you.” Set your alarm clock for the kids to see and tell them, “I need this clock to ring so I will know when sleep time is over and it’s time to start my day.” When you’re serving food, say: “I’m going to try a little bit of everything mommy made for dinner, but not too much.” Living out Loud” can also be useful for teaching children about rules for life. While out with our grandchildren one day, we were about to get into the car and I opened the car door for my wife. When I got into the car, I turned to my granddaughter and said, “Here’s one of grandpa’s rules of life… a polite man always opens the door for a lady so she can get into the car first.” I look for frequent opportunities that become teaching moments and ask them, “Can I tell you another one of grandpa’s rules of life?” I normally get their confirmation and then proceed to relate a nugget of valuable information. I don’t belabor it; just simply give them a bit of information. Then, when they’re adults and I’m gone from this world, I hope their children will hear them say, “Your grandpa used to say…”

January 13, 2016

15 Chores a toddler can do

Helping out around the house is a normal part of being in a family. And for pre-schoolers, getting to help like the grown-ups do can seem as wonderful as a trip to the toy store. Unfortunately, what’s tough for most parents is finding stuff that a pre-schooler can do without creating a bigger mess or requiring constant help. Here are fifteen ways you can let your pre-schooler get involved in doing regular chores. Remember, you’ll need to do a little initial training; show and explain, in simple terms, how to do a chore several times, and be available to help. Your children will catch on quickly. Be sure to give lots of praise when they do it all be themselves. 1. Make a bed. Don’t expect bed-making perfection, but most kids (from about 3 years-old on up), can manage to pull a sheet and cover up to the right end of the bed. Or, if that’s a bit too much, divide the bed-making responsibility. Mom or Dad can help with the big covers, and your child can place pillows and stuffed animals appropriately. 2. Wipe the bathroom counter. Unless your bathroom counter is a km long, that is. Keep some non-toxic cleaning wipes in the bathroom, and have your pre-schooler do a quick swipe of the bathroom counter in the morning and/or every night after brushing teeth. 3. Clear dishes. From about age 3 up, kids can help carry dishes from the table to the kitchen counter. Watch for breakable glasses or things that will easily slip (trying to balance utensils on a plate may be too much at first) but don’t be afraid to let your pre-schoolers try. Older pre-schoolers can learn to scrape their scraps into the trash or compost bucket and then place their plates on the counter, in the sink, or even in the dishwasher. 4. Wipe the table. Don’t expect perfection, and do expect that crumbs will end up on the floor. But pre-schoolers can easily use a clean, wet washcloth to wipe off the table after eating. 5. Feed a pet. A pre-schooler can scoop out the appropriate amount of food for a cat, dog or other family pet. If you have a plastic container handy, and your pre-schooler can use a step stool to reach the sink, he can also fill the water dish. 6. Sweep. Most pre-schoolers can’t handle a full-size broom very well. But a hand broom, such as might be used to sweep off a table top, works great with a dust pan for a pre-schooler-sized sweeping tool. Give your child a small area to sweep. My 4 year old sweeps under the chairs and table after our meals. I still do a thorough sweep at the end of the day, but she gets most of the crumbs first. 7. Mop. Kids love mops, in my experience. Alternately, a spray bottle filled with nontoxic cleaner plus a child-sized sponge mop (you’ll find lots of “toy cleaning supplies” at any major toy store, and many function well) is a great option. Again, you’ll want to assign a specific space. And tread carefully; pre-schoolers tend to be trigger happy with the cleaning spray. 8. Collect rubbish bins. My 3 year-old son easily handles the chore of bringing the rubbish bin from his bedroom and the kid’s bathroom to the kitchen, where I empty them into a rubbish bag. He then returns them to their spot. Keep your rubbish bins small if your pre-schooler has trouble moving them when full. 9. Help unload the dishwasher. Take a few moments to teach your pre-schooler where forks, spoons and serving utensils go; they can take charge of emptying the silverware tray. (Just remove those sharp knives, first.) 10. Pick up toys. One of the most important chores a pre-schooler can tackle is learning to pick up their own messes. Make it easier by having them clean up one thing at a time: blocks or dolls. Facing a huge mess is as overwhelming for a child as it is for an adult. 11. Help with laundry. Pre-schoolers can help sort laundry and can carry clean laundry back to their rooms. 12. Dust furniture. A furniture polishing cloth, or just a soft cloth, works great for pre-schoolers who are learning to help out. They may not do a perfect job, and they can’t reach high surfaces, but they can get chair legs, table tops, even TV screens. 13. Vacuum. Older pre-schoolers can learn to handle a hand vacuum or even a full-size vacuum if it isn’t too heavy. Pushing the vacuum across a rug or carpet is often too difficult, but a pre-schooler can use the vacuum wand or the hand vacuum to swipe up crumbs, get in corners, and clean out under furniture cushions. 14. Pick up sticks/ garden debris. When you get out to do that garden work, take your pre-schooler with you. They can help grab sticks, pine cones, and other garden debris and put it in a pile for you, or into the wheelbarrow to be removed. 15. Wipe up spills. Designate a low drawer for cleaning cloths and old hand towels; when your pre-schooler spills a cup of water, he can easily grab a towel and mop up the spill. Teach your pre-schoolers to use a towel to get up the wet, and then to follow it with a wet washcloth for sticky messes (milk, juice, etc.). Author: Annie Mueller

January 6, 2016

Picking Up The Pieces

Previously we touched on understanding high risk pregnancy and what causes prematurity , this month we will be taking a look at the conflicting emotions we go through when we have given birth prematurely. It can be a trying time for both parents, both emotionally and physically draining. Whirlwind… No one is fully prepared for childbirth let alone a premature one. Depending on the circumstances, it can be a situation of fear, disorientation and overwhelming bewilderment. I believe we all have that moment of realisation…what just happened was no dream. My daughter was born at 3:50am, I was unconscious through most of it. When I finally awoke at 7am, the lack of movement from her was replaced by pain. Alone in my hospital room and unable to move…I will never forget that feeling of devastation and hopelessness. These feelings were short lived as I sprang into action, I had a duty to perform. I won’t lie, I was emotionally numb. My mind accepted that was my little girl in the incubator, my heart on the other hand wasn’t so sure. Slowly my heart warmed, and I finally accepted that I was now a mother to an amazing little fighter. Sixteen months down the line, I am still working through the PTSD, but everyday gets better. Life changing journey… Parents may worry after a year, two years, ten years or twenty, that they have not “gotten over” the traumas and losses of having a premature baby. They may concede that they are more vigilant now. They sometimes find themselves very afraid that something awful will happen to their child. Memories pop up in the most unexpected places. Tears well up without warning. They secretly wonder if they have PTSD or are not moving through the “stages” of grief in the “right” way. They imagine that the premature birth irreparably damaged something in them. In short, they fear that something is terribly wrong with them. Parents who have uncomplicated pregnancies and full-term deliveries have a community of people that they join when they have their babies. More and more, they find the changes that they feel acknowledged and validated. Parents of full-term babies say with a chuckle, “I’ll never be the same again” and most other parents know just what they mean. None of us will ever be the same again — but a lot of the time, we’re not so sure that anybody knows what we mean. Our journey was distinct. Our transformation took a startling path — perhaps a longer road or one with more twists and turns. We are different now. And the unease we feel, I believe, comes in part from our struggle to figure out who we are now, how we fit in to the world we used to inhabit, and how we want to move forward. One thing is for certain. You will never be quite the same, again. But I would like to suggest that this journey leaves us altogether wiser, stronger, tenderer and more human. And it is the lessons that we learn that we pass to our children. What can I do? It’s ok to seek help, rather sooner than later especially if you are thinking of having another baby in the future. Take some time and think about the way things used to be — the way you used to be. Think some more about what this experience has given you. The journey is ongoing. The road you are on will never be the same one that you thought you were entering when you imagined parenting this baby. The parent you imagined that you would be is probably somewhat different than how you developed. But this difference does not mean that you are damaged. It does not mean that you have not “recovered” from the premature birth. What it means is that you are transformed. And that’s exactly as it should be. Support & Preparation Besides relying on support from those around you. Chubby Bunny is there to make the journey a little less stressful. Through education & support, Chubby Bunny’s main objective is to support families whose lives have been touched by prematurity. Chubby Bunny is the first company in South Africa to supply critical starter packs for premmies. We supply high quality goods ensuring the little miracle is well cared for, from organic skin care sensitive for their soft skin, petite clothing small enough to wrap around their tiny bodies, Premmie nappies, a Premmie Support Booklet equipped to help parents understand the NICU and how to care for their Premmies. These hampers can be shipped overnight to main centres South Africa. Visit our online store www.chubbybunny.co.za for more information on the hampers we provide or simply contact Sian at [email protected]. Next month…What to expect…my baby was born before her/his time…now what.

December 18, 2015

Review: The Disney Book Club

In this crazy world of technology and digital media, there’s something so special and comforting about holding a beautifully printed book in your hands. For little chidren, to look at those glossy illustrations and link them to the story that once they are able to read, they can read to themselves, creates an opportunity for them to be transported to another world, another time and place. Here they can set their imaginations free and immerse themselves into the wonderful world of make believe. No-one understands this better than Disney Book Club, who make it so easy for parents to build up a library of affordable amazing books that their children will read over and over again and can cherish well into adulthood. Parenting Hub found out that when you join the Disney Book Club, you receive a free gift and two trial books for only R64,99 per book, plus postage. Membership is free and there are also no joining fees. Along with your free gift and your trial books, you also receive a beautiful welcome backpack. The team at Parenting Hub were so impressed with this incredible offer! We were sent copies of some of these stunning books to review – titles included : Walle 101 Dalmatians Frozen Planes Each of these books is printed with a font-size that is just perfect for children who are able to read to themselves. The illustrations are colourful and larger than life so that your child won’t become bored reading to themselves, in fact they will enjoy the simplicity of being able to do so.Parenting Hub and the team, would highly recommend that you join the Disney Book Club where over time, you can inexpensively create a fabulous library of great books for your children. You can signup for the Disney Book Club or find out more information by clicking here

December 17, 2015

Happy Families From Colief®

Our growing number of products are there to help your growing family.The Colief infant care range puts a smile on everyone’s face. Colief® Infant Drops – for when nature needs a helping hand… It can be incredibly distressing to hear your baby crying endlessly with colic, yet feel unable to stop it. Fortunately there is a natural solution at hand. Colief Infant Drops contain natural enzymes which help break down lactose in milk, making it easier to digest. Simply add a few drops to your baby’s normal milk (expressed breast milk or formula milk). Colief is the natural way to ease digestive discomfort caused by lactose; proven to reduce the hours of crying. Colief® Baby Scalp Oil is formulated, with naturally derived ingredients, to gently moisturise and soothe your baby’s skin and scalp. Simply massage into the baby’s skin or scalp and the hydrating blend is quickly absorbed, helping soften and clear the scalp of ﬂakes or scaly skin. Colief® Baby Scalp Oil is made with nourishing ingredients gentle enough to use from three months upwards, including Rosehip Oil, Chamomile and Vitamin E. Colief® Vitamin D3 Drops is a food supplement rich in vitamin D3 and can be easily mixed with food or liquids and in the case of young babies, can be given directly by mouth. Colief® Vitamin D3 Drops have been formulated to contain no ﬂavourings, preservatives, sugar or colourings and are safe to use from one month upwards. Why take a vitamin D3 spplement, to assist the development of healthy teeth and heathy bones (and Moms will benefit from vitamin D3 drops too).

December 17, 2015

To Give and To Receive

I think it is time to balance out the season of giving. There is a strange misconception out there that it is better to give than to receive. Some may even go so far as to say that “blessed are those who give”. To complete the sentence then, “cursed are those who receive”! In fact, it takes both sides to complete the equation. In order to give there must be someone to receive. Both are essential sides of the same coin. I find that most people are quite comfortable with giving. It is a nice feeling after all to hand someone a shiny package and see the joy on their face as they open it to discover that you know exactly what they like. Children, too, from a very early age, enjoy giving – they give us stones they picked up on the playground, they give us a lick of their melting ice cream, they give us a favourite teddy to sleep with for the night when we’re feeling sad, they give us beautiful artworks on the walls of our houses! What we tend to do as well meaning parents is to emphasise this joy of giving and imply that this is better than to be on the receiving end. Now children naturally receive well – anyone who has seen their child with a pile of presents on Christmas morning knows that they are only too happy to keep on taking. By adulthood, however, we cower away from such indulgence in receiving. We see it as something for children, or greedy people, or those with no constraint. Our children are watching us as we argue to split the bill instead of graciously accepting our meal as a gift from a friend, as we tell people not to bother buying us birthday gifts but to rather donate something to charity, as we celebrate festivities by enjoying giving our children gifts but not including ourselves on the receiving end. Now I’m not insinuating that we need to rush out and spend a fortune on amassing useless doodads that have been flown in from China. What I’m suggesting is that we learn to enjoy both sides by making both giving and receiving meaningful for everyone. There are many ways to enjoy this without becoming mass consumers. What I would like to see are parents raising their children to continue to enjoy receiving. To learn to be grateful both for what they give and what they receive by watching their parents do the same. Our children can’t possibly become successful in life is they become uncomfortable with receiving. All business transactions require both, all relationships require both, having a healthy spiritual, mental and emotional life requires both. Allow yourself to be part of the festivities this year and know that as you enjoy receiving, your children are learning to honour themselves and their desires and to be open to what life has to offer them. Blessed are those who give and those who receive.

December 10, 2015

Imperial’s Festive Driving Tips

Be safe, drive safely and get your destination comfortably! IMPERIAL Road Safety’s travel tips will get you safely to your destination this festive season! The festive season is one of the busiest month’s on the road and it pays to know a few things in advance to ensure (as far as possible) that you arrive at your destination safely. IMPERIAL Road Safety has put together some tips to ensure that you and your family travel as safely as possible on the roads. Fight fatigue One of the main causes of road crashes is fatigue. There are various reasons for fatigue-related road crashes including sleep deprivation, sleeping disorders, time of day that you are driving and travelling long distances without a break. It is important for drivers and their travel companions to be able to identify signs of fatigue, which may include sore eyes, nodding off, constant yawning, drifting over lanes, slow reactions and trouble keeping the head upright. You can counter driver fatigue temporarily with comfort breaks every two hours, drinking water, eating light foods, listening to music and ensuring good ventilation – to name a few. But the only way to really fight fatigue is by getting sufficient, uninterrupted sleep. The recommended number of hours is 7 – 8 hours. Avoid taking any medicine (including antihistamine tablets) before a long trip as it may cause drowsiness. Keep your eyes on the road A ‘quick’ SMS or phone call or a change of radio stations takes your mind and eyes off the road. The mobile phone is one of the biggest distractions to drivers because it demands full attention: visual, manual, and cognitive, and causes you to take your eyes off the road, hands off the steering wheel, and your mind off the road. For every second we take our eyes and minds off the road, we lose one second in our average reaction and stopping time. Avoid being distracted. Focus on the task at hand: driving safely. Get into the routine of the IMPERIAL Road Safety driving habits: Ensure you wear your safety belt at all times, refrain from drinking and driving, strap yourself and your children in, do not speed – especially in reduced visibility situations and remember to keep a safe following distance. Never overtake on a blind rise or on a corner and make sure that you are always visible by driving with your headlights on, even during the day. Travel safely by keeping a safe following distance (3 x cars space) and remember getting to your destination safely and with other road users safety in mind should be the most important thing on your mind when travelling. Safer roads start with YOU.

December 9, 2015

Guilt: No Parent Can Escape It

If most working parents are honest with themselves, they’d agree that with Monday morning comes a big sigh of relief. You pick up your bag, kiss your little darlings good bye and head out the door to work. Freedom! At work the prospect of chasing your toddler around trying to get them dressed, wiping sticky finger swipes off the walls, washing endless loads of bottles or wrestling whinging, tired children is a distant memory. You can sip quietly on a cup of tea and have adult conversations without frequent, high-pitched interruptions. It’s easy to see how mothers and fathers alike suffer from a continuous tinge of child-related guilt. Parents who work and parents who don’t – no-one is immune to it. Shakil Ahmad from baby brand Krayons says that there are a couple catalysts that set off parental guilt. Leaving the child with a carer to return to work Relying on television at ‘difficult’ times of the day – like bath time! Feeding the child convenience or junk food Reprimanding the child at any time. “Every parent suffers from it, and there’s no real solution bar giving yourself a break,” says Ahmad who works on the 80/20 rule in his household. “I try to stick to limited television time, limited junk food and distraction-over-discipline 80% of the time – it’s more realistic to know that you can’t be perfect 100% of the time. Then when you slip for 20% of the time, you don’t have to beat yourself up.” Ahmad says that scheduling one hour of every work day to really bond with your child also helps him relieve guilt of leaving his kids between 7am and 6pm each day. “I allocate an hour of my time to bath my kids every day – it’s a special time for just us where we chat, play and enjoy the time together. There are limited distractions and I make sure that I leave my work issues, and my cellphone outside of the bathroom.” Instead of focusing on what you might be doing wrong – focus on what you know you’re doing right with your kids, and do more of that. Remember that the best thing you can give them is the gift of your time. Undivided time.

December 7, 2015

Listening Tips For Parents

We all want our kids to listen to us, but how often do we really listen to them? Are we excellent models of attentive listening? Or are we teaching them how to half listen whilst otherwise distracted? If you really want your kids to listen to you, the first step is to know how to do this yourself. Here are a few tips… Be present. The average adult is only present for around 3% of their life. The rest of the time we are lost in remembering the past, imagining the future or off in some fantasy in our minds. On top of this we are distracted by technology, to do lists, work and personal drama. No wonder our kids haven’t learned how to listen. To really hear someone you need to be there, actively listening. The easiest way to stay present in a conversation is to focus on your breathing. If part of your awareness is on your breathing you can’t get lost in your mind. So put aside your phone, tell your mind that you will deal with everything else just now, and breathe and listen. Paraphrase. Learn to mirror back to your child what they have said to you. Paraphrase what they’ve been talking about to show them that you are listening and to clarify that you have actually understood their message. Ask them if you’ve understood correctly and as they correct you on what you’ve misunderstood you will gain a deeper understanding of where they are at. Be patient. We’re often too quick to jump in a finish a sentence or try to get to the heart of the matter before our kids have finished speaking. Let them ramble a bit. It may take them some time to organise their thoughts or to really get to the point of what they are getting too. They may repeat themselves or skirt around the real issue. If you interrupt or jump in with questions you may miss out on the crux of the issue by directing the conversation in a different direction. Use all aspects of communication. Sit facing your child, look at how they are using their body (look out for facial expressions, gestures, posture), keep your body language open, listen for changes in tone, pitch and speed of their voice. Only 7% of communication is in the words that we use. If you pay attention you will see that there is a lot of non verbal stuff going on too and this can often tell you more about what your child is going through than what they say. Ask interesting questions. We say that we want our kids to open up to us, but then we ask the most arbitrary, meaningless questions. “How was your day?” invites a response such as “Fine”. “What was the weirdest thing that happened today?” may get you a slightly more interesting answer. Try asking about things that are meaningful to your child. Children feel loved, heard and understood when we show an interest in things that are important to them, even if they are not important to us. True communication involves putting aside your own agenda and truly getting to know somebody else and what makes them come alive. Active listening is something that anyone can learn. It takes some practice, but the rewards are worth it – children who feel loved, heard and respected and so are more likely to love, hear and respect us in return.

December 3, 2015

How To Be An Organised Mom

As a child, I think my organisational skills kicked in when I was about 14. Gone was the mess and the clutter from my bedroom, instead everything found a place and no one was allowed to move anything. I probably did border on being a bit OCD, but it worked for me. I continued living in my tidy organised little bubble right up until my first child was born. I am convinced that a greater power decided to have a sense of humour and sent me my 5 boys/men to live with while chuckling to himself “now see how organised you can be!!” The first thing I had to learn was that the state of my house would never be perfect again, well at least not while I had my four sons sharing my space with me. As each child grew and another one got added to the clan, more and more things had to change to accommodate them and their lives. Because I had a big gap between my first two kids and my last two, there was a point in my life where I had one in pre-primary, another in primary school, one in high school and one at college – all were at different institutions and in different areas. That meant 4 sets of teachers, committees, meetings, friends, extra murals, transport arrangements, lunches, and so on. Besides my boys, I was also running a business, managing the home, shopping, cooking and still trying to fit in time for my own exercise – yes, I did still need that, it was my time and my stress reliever. I was constantly striving to find new and better ways of staying on top of being organised. Being a solution driven person, I worked out a system that could help me manage all of this. At the time, I used to buy a standard diary and draw lines to make compartments that would fit in with my life. As much as this worked for me, doing it this way was tedious and time consuming, and also had things missing and not enough pages to accommodate all the things that I needed. This was the start of the creation of the MOM (Most Organised Mother) and WOW (Wonderfully Organised Women) Diaries. I literally took the system that I had developed and put it into a book that could help other women manage every aspect of their lives in the same way that I was doing. Making your diary the hub from where everything gets managed has many advantages, if used correctly. You always know where to find information and don’t waste time searching around for it. If you have a system, you will find that you do things in such a way that is more time efficient. The best way that I can explain this is by telling you what some of the time saving and helpful features of the diary are as well as some tips on how to make certain tasks easier: Planning At the beginning of each year, spend a few hours setting up your diary for the coming year. This involves transferring information, from your previous diary as well as entering new information. Make sure you have all the birthdays, term dates and any other information that you already have access to. You can also use this time to set your goals for the new year and look over your goals from the previous year (you will be amazed at how much you achieve when you have written goals). The MOM Diary has a section on setting goals, with a monthly goal list and daily tracking or journaling anything to do with those goals. Each month, take an hour or two to write a to-do list for that month, and to go back over the previous month to see if there is anything you need to carry forward. Work out dates that you can fit in various chores or tasks. I have included a monthly to-do-list and a month planner in the diary, as both are useful when planning your month. You can do the same with weekly or daily planning – if you get into the habit of spending a small amount of time structuring your life, you will find that things flow much better. The pages of the diary are setup in a way that each part of your life has its own place. The right side of the page is for your appointments and to-do-list and the left hand side of the page is for anything to do with your family, goals AND there is a little place to fill in something for which you are grateful each day. Meal times Meal times can be a real nightmare for moms, but there are things that you can do to make them more manageable as well as turning it into a productive time of the day. Spend a few hours once off planning and finding meals that suit your family. 8 meals works for me. These are your Monday to Thursday meals and you rotate them, therefore having each meal twice in a month. They should be simple, quick and healthy. By doing this, you take the “think” out of what to cook during the week. It also helps with shopping as you always know the ingredients that you need to buy weekly. The MOM Diary has 12 recipes which are suitable for families and are there to help give you some inspiration and ideas. Keep a running shopping list – each time you run out of something, write it down immediately. Shop weekly, rather than daily and if possible, shop online. You can setup standard shopping lists and are able to untick what you don’t need that week. There are 20 serrated tear out pages in the back of the diary for things like shopping lists or notes. You could also keep your running list in the “Family and Social” block – to be

November 30, 2015

Holiday Guilt

Mothers, particularly, are notorious for the amount of guilt they carry around. It starts right from the birth… the natural birthers feel bad that their babies have squashed heads; the caesarians feel bad that they couldn’t not cut-it! Then the working moms feel guilty for not being with their kids and the stay-at-homers feel guilty because their kids are driving them nuts and they wish they were elsewhere, and that they’re not adding to the household income; and the half day moms feel bad because they’re neither properly contributing at work or at home. And on and on it goes. And then come the holidays… Just to compound the guilt a little, the working moms wish they could take more time off, the ones at home wish they could have a break, everyone feels bad because they don’t have the cash to do all the million holiday activities that are out there and screaming for enrolment. At some point we’ve got to all just STOP and accept that we are good enough, we are doing enough and our kids are going to be ok, whether they do the vacation cooking/drama/tennis/pottery class or not. And the real crux of the matter is that, as with most things, it is the quality and not the quantity of time with our children that really counts. If you have 5 minutes or 5 hours with them, make sure that in that time you really connect, on their level, focusing on what they want to do, meeting them where they’re at. Switch off your phone, clear your mind of the myriad other things you need to do, and simply connect. And holiday activities with the kids do not need to break the bank – I bet that your children would be just as happy with a picnic in the park, a visit to a friend, or riding their bikes up and down the road if it meant that they got your full attention for the duration of whatever it was you decided to do together. Let’s all take a break from the guilt this holidays and just do the best we can and let ourselves off the hook when we can’t. As I always say to my clients, it’s about baby steps – if all you can manage is 5 minutes of playing Barbies on the floor, then it’s 5 minutes more than yesterday, and these little moments of presence with our children add up and make for the most special holiday memories they’ll have.

November 26, 2015

What Makes A Strong Family

The study to the aforementioned question emanated from the University of Nebraska’s Family Strength Research Project by John DeFrain and Nick Stinnett who subsequently wrote a book about the findings, “Secrets of Strong Families”. The families came from diverse sections of the American population. They study concluded that there were six primary features that strong families had in common which are listed below. The findings are food for thought and can be extrapolated to the South African family however the family may be constituted. Commitment Members of the family were fully committed to their relationships with each other as well as helping each member grow as an individual. Appreciation Members of the family told and showed each other that they appreciated each other on a regular basis. Communication Effective communication skills were utilised and communication was frequent and not only evident when a problem arose. Time Spent Together The strong family made time for each other and some of the quality time was spent doing enjoyable and fun things. Spiritual Wellness Spiritual wellness for the strong family comprised various aspects and one was involvement in their religious groups or an adherence to a moral code where there is concern about others around them. Spiritual well-being also comprised involvement in other inspirational activities such as a profound appreciation of nature or music and a strong set of values. Spirituality helped keep a perspective on daily life stressors which inevitably crop up. Coping Resources – Managing stress and crises effectively When the strong family encountered tough times they found a way to support each other and pulled together as opposed to being torn apart in times of crises.

November 26, 2015

Easy Hydration For Breastfeeding Moms

Many of us moms give a lot of thought to eating well while we are breastfeeding, knowing that we are passing on the very nutrients we consume to our precious bundles of joy. However, apart from avoiding alcohol and minimising our caffeine intake, less thought may be given to what we might be drinking on a day to day basis. The nutritional impact of what we drink is one important consideration; the other is that it is also vital for breastfeeding moms to stay properly hydrated. Common advice includes ensuring you get the recommended eight to ten glasses of fluids a day; to drink a glass of water at each breastfeeding session and to give preference to caffeine-free rooibos tea. Fresh fruit and vegetable juices, that are free of preservatives and other chemical additives, also frequently get the nod of approval from nutritionists. However, when it comes to hydration strategies for breastfeeding moms, there’s a new kid on block that is grabbing global attention; and that’s coconut water. Due to its phenomenal electrolyte content, pure coconut water is an isotonic drink which is more hydrating than water. Now more easily available in South Africa, coconut water provides breastfeeding moms with a refreshingly different and completely health-filled option when it comes to avoiding dehydration. Unlike coconut milk and coconut cream which are derived from the meat of ripe coconuts; coconut water is the almost clear fluid contained in young, green coconuts. It’s a traditional, staple drink of islanders in the tropics that has been highly valued for centuries for its restorative and health-giving properties. Coconut water is packed with the essential electrolytes, potassium, magnesium, calcium, sodium and phosphorus, which our body needs for all major functions, from muscles and nerves to heart and brain. It is common for breastfeeding moms to feel fatigued, and coconut water is the ideal energy-boosting pick-me-up that is free of chemical additives. Coconut water is also rich in vitamins, particularly the B vitamins, as well as trace minerals such as zinc, selenium and manganese. It is full of amino acids, enzymes and health-boosting plant hormones known as cytokinins. It is known for its soothing effect on the digestive system and its active support of a well-functioning immune system. If this wasn’t enough, coconut water happens to be a wonderfully low-calorie option. It is virtually fat free and very low in natural sugar, which is just perfect for moms trying to shed those last few pregnancy kilos. In order to optimise on all the fantastic goodness that natural coconut water offers, it is important to read the products’ labels and be aware of the sources of this ‘elixir of Nature’. Avoid options that are derived from concentrates or that include additives such as sugar or preservatives. Recently launched in South Africa, CocoZone is a brand that offers 100% pure coconut water that is extracted and tetra-packed for freshness at the source, which is a single origin plantation farmed without the use of chemical fertilisers, herbicides and pesticides. If you are feeling bored with yet another glass of water during breastfeeding, or you have resolved to cut high calorie drinks out of your diet while you are breastfeeding, consider reaching for refreshing taste from tropics that is nothing but good for you, and good for baby too! For more information or to find your nearest stockist please visit www.cocozone.com

November 26, 2015

How To Eat Less Salt

Eating too much sodium, most of which we get from salt, can lead to high blood pressure. This in turn can cause heart disease, kidney disease and strokes. So it is worth trying to cut down the amount of salt eaten. Almost two-thirds of the salt we consume are added by food manufacturers when food is processed. Of the remainder, about half is added at home during cooking or at the table and half is naturally present in food. Low salt diets may assist in the prevention and treatment of high blood pressure and The Heart and Stroke Foundation of South Africa (HSFSA) recommends that not more than one teaspoon (6g) of salt per day should be consumed. The average diet contains an average of 9g of sodium. A low salt diet contains 2 – 2.5g of sodium ( +- 1tsp salt) High salt foods to be used in moderation: Processed, smoked and cured meats Polony, ham, bacon, sausages, corned beef, pickled tongue, bacon, salami, pepperoni and smoked pork Pre-packaged and convenience meals Ready meals and take away foods (pies, pizzas, pastas, etc). Stocks and packet, tinned soups Used to flavour or thicken soups, stews or casseroles. Some soups can provide more than half a teaspoon of salt per portion. Cheese Processed cheese, cheese spreads, blue cheese and feta cheese Salty nibbles and snacks Crisps, salted/flavoured pretzels or popcorn, crackers and salted nuts. Sauces Worcestershire, soya, tomato and barbeque sauce Pickles Gherkins, pickled onions, capers, artichokes, atjaar and other pickled vegetables Hard margarine or salted butter Use the minimum amount of salt in cooking: Try not to add further salt at the table. Always taste food before you add salt It may help to gradually reduce your salt intake, so that you can get used to the taste changes Try using more herbs and spices to flavour your foods Don’t use salt substitutes as they are high in other minerals Try to cut down on foods that are high in salt such as tinned, packaged and processed foods, tinned and packet soups, stock cubes, chips, salted nuts and salty meats like ham and bacon Avoid sauces that contain lots of salt e.g. soya sauce Check processed foods to see if salt, sodium bicarbonate, sodium benzoate or monosodium glutamates are mentioned among the ingredients Check labels for sodium content – a low sodium food is one containing less than 120 mg sodium per 100g weight of food Limit sodium intake to less than 2g/day (1t = 2,3g) Healthy alternatives for flavouring foods If you use salt in food preparation, do not add extra salt at the table. Learn to use herbs and spices instead of salt, and to enjoy the natural flavour of food. Here are some ideas: Pork Apple, cider, coriander, ginger, lime, orange, sage, thyme Chicken Coriander, basil, chives, dill, fennel, garlic, ginger, lemon juice, marjoram, mint, oregano, paprika, parsley, rosemary, tarragon, thyme, white pepper, white wine Beef Curry, balsamic vinegar, black pepper, horseradish, mustard, red wine, tomato Fish Bay leaf, dill, fennel, lemon juice, onion, parsley, tarragon, tomato, white pepper, white wine Ostrich or venison Coriander, onion, pineapple, tomato chilli Lamb Curry, aniseed, basil, cardamom, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, cloves, cumin, juniper berry, mint, mustard, oregano, redcurrant jelly, rosemary Rice Coriander, onion, red or green peppers, saffron Pasta Basil, black pepper, garlic, oregano Potatoes Black pepper, nutmeg, parsley, paprika, (low fat or fat free) yoghurt Salads Coriander, basil, black pepper, garlic, lemon juice, oregano, (low fat or fat free) yoghurt, toasted flaked almonds

November 25, 2015

Cookie	Duration	Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement	1 year	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Advertisement".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional	11 months	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy	11 months	The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_ga	2 years	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, campaign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assign a randomly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gid	1 day	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the website is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages visted in an anonymous form.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_gat_gtag_UA_18530557_4	1 minute	No description
pron_ip	session	No description
pvc_visits[0]	1 day	This cookie is created by post-views-counter. This cookie is used to count the number of visits to a post. It also helps in preventing repeat views of a post by a visitor.
tk_ai	session	Gathers information for WordPress by themselves, first party analytics tool about how WP services are used. A collection of internal metrics for user activity, used to improve user experience.