Advice from the experts
Parenting Hub

Help for underage gamblers

Traditionally considered an ‘adults only’ issue, a growing number of children are affected by problem gambling. With this in mind, the South African Responsible Gambling Foundation (SARGF) is striving to address the issue with a number of initiatives. Chief among these is the National Schools Programme. As part of this, SARGF has developed a learning pillar called Taking Risks Wisely (TRW), which is incorporated into school curricula. The course material has been developed around the reality that children are exposed to gaming and that it may seem attractive; and with this insight in mind, it aims to help them make wiser choices about risky behaviour. SARGF also provides assistance through its toll free support line at 0800 006 008. This hotline offers free, professional counselling for problem gamblers – important, because as Dr Heidi Sinclair, treatment and counselling manager at SARGF explains, a professional counsellor will be able to help both parents and children understand they dynamics that have pushed the child to seek distraction or solace in gaming. “Often, the issue is created by poor self-esteem, and the counsellor will be able to provide suggestions to help families address this in a more constructive manner,” Sinclair says. While parents may not like to think that their children are gambling, the reality is that they are. In fact, according to research cited by Knowtheodds.org, 2.1% of US residents aged between 14 and 21 are problem gamblers. “No similar statistics are available in South Africa, but it’s clear that extensive exposure to gambling puts children and teens at risk: while the media glamorises casinos and gambling, family exposure – occurring every time parents purchase a lottery ticket or host a social game of poker, for example – make gambling an everyday part of life for youth. The Internet makes online gambling readily accessible, and the games children play on their tablets often groom them for real-world gaming.” She urges parents to look out for signs that their children may have become involved in gaming. These include the classic symptoms associated with risky behaviour, including sudden mood swings, a lack of interest in activities that have previously brought pleasure, a drop in school marks and absenteeism from school. Other, more specific signs that a child may have started gaming include buying items that they wouldn’t be able to afford on their usual allowance, or running out of money and asking for financial assistance. A sudden and intense interest in sport may also be a warning sign, especially if the child displays a disproportionate response to a team’s win or loss. This may indicate that they are placing bets on the teams. Visits to online betting sites are a red flag.

Parenting Hub

Parenthood – there is no guidebook

Diana Du Plessis on behalf of Philips Mother and Child Division (Avent) You have survived 9 months of pregnancy, gone through labour and finally it’s time to head home and be a parent. Some might get help from family and grandparents but others might not. While the birth of a new baby brings happiness to the family, it also naturally comes with some fears that can be daunting to new parents. Reading magazines, previous articles about parenthood or even a simple google search may provide some insight, but it shouldn’t determine how you take care of your children. Pregnancies and births are never alike; everyone has a unique experience and the same can be said for parenthood – where no parenting style is the same. You just need to find your own and one that works for your family. Fortunately, children and their parents learn together. As your child grows older, your parenting skills will also change and adapt. You are your own guidebook and what works for you and your bundle of joy should be what you practice daily. It is fun to be a parent, but also a big job to raise a child so here are a few myths about parenthood that we can debunk to help you be the best parent for your child. Myth: Childbirth is a nightmare Truth: This is not true – for everyone there will be a different experience. For some it is easy and for some it will be more difficult. Planning for the birth however is the important part. Every woman is different and every pregnancy is different so it’s important to chat to your partner and doctor about what you want and what options works best for you. Myth: A mom should know everything (Supermom) Truth: Accept help and support where possible. You are not a superwoman and you need the help to give you enough time to rest. For a lot of parents the trick is learning as you go as things will get easier by the day. For first time moms, you can read books or blogs to get help on what to do should you feel you are going through a roller coast ride. And remember if you need help – never be ashamed to ask for it. Myth: There is a guidebook on parenthood Truth: Every mother will have a different experience as each baby’s needs are different. Create your own guidebook that works for you and your family. Speaking to other parents is an idea for those who might feel like they are not copying and may want some advice. They might have gone through a similar experience and by chatting to them who knows you might get answers to questions you have. But give parenthood time because you will get in tune with what you baby requires and needs – and you will be great! Myth: Parenting comes naturally Truth: Parenthood needs adjusting to the new way of life and it can be challenge for everyone. It might take time, but just be patient. You will also need your partner often and do ask for help when you need it. Often postpartum depression affects the family relationships and the dynamics with your partner will likely change – so ensure the lines of communication stay open, you share the responsibilities and that you work through the adjustment together. Myth: Babies should sleep through the night when they are two to three months old. Truth: Some parents are lucky as it depends on your baby as it is easier for some to sleep than others. Establishing good sleep habit for your young one might be hard. As a result, a regular bedtime and a sequence at night are key things to consider when developing a sleep routine. Follow the old trick that you should nap when your baby naps – this will help with exhaustion. It can take a bit of time to learn and understand your baby’s needs, but persevere and you will soon see the results. Ask for help from family and friends when you are not managing as parenthood can be exhausting. Parenting does not come naturally as some might say the most important thing is to not compare yourself to your neighbour or friend, you will surely be the best parent for your child.

Carla Grobler

What is sensory integration?

Sensory registration Our senses gather information from our surroundings, this is called sensory registration.  This information is registered through our senses that include seeing, touching, hearing, smelling, tasting, proprioception and our vestibular system. Sensory discrimination  This term is used to describe the awareness of the temporal and spatial characteristics of the sensory input we gather from our environment including the qualities, similarities and differences amongst these sensations.  Sensory discrimination dysfunction is defined by Van Jaarsveld (van Jaarsveld, 2011, p. 10) as difficulties with knowing the qualities of the sensory experiences within the sensory system thus not providing the child with the necessary information. Thus when a child has a sensory discrimination disorder they need extra time to process sensory input they get from their environment according to (Miller, 2006, p. 37). Sensory modulation Smith Roley (Smith Roley, 2001, p. 57)called sensory modulation the physiological and behavioural responses to sensory input we receive. After registration and discrimination the sensory information is then sent to the brain.  The brain is alerted (sensory arousal occurs) to the new sensory input if it is meaningful. We inhibit input that isn’t relevant – habituation occurs.  The intensity and length of the response may be determined through memory due to previous exposure .  A child that has a sensory modulation disorder may over-respond, under respond or exhibit sensory seeking behaviour on the sensory input from their environment, thus their arousal level will not be appropriate to the situation. We need just the right amount of arousal to function optimally in our daily roles e.g. school, social interaction, play, etc.   Lombard (Lombard, 2007, p. 123) mentioned that the brain goes through 4 stages: Optimal functional state – I am o.k 2nd functional state – I am stressed 3rd functional state – I am overloaded Nil functional state – I am out of control We move through these stages throughout the day, depending on the environmental impact. Please see the following graph to understand the relationship between under-responsiveness, over-responsiveness, sensory-seeking behaviour and sensory-avoiding behaviour  that can occur when a modulation difficulty is present.  Miller (Miller, 2006, p. 28) stated that a degree of sensory seeking is normal in children while they learn and grow. www.classes.kumc.edu So why is sensory integration needed for learning? During the upcoming months we will have a look at each one of these senses separately to increase your understanding of sensory integration and possible dysfunction of each system. References Sensory Systems that Make up the Learning Hierarchy of a Strong Academic Foundation

Parenting Hub

Children Who Lie

There are several reasons why children tell lies. Child psychologists at the Sandton Psychology Centre in Johannesburg say that when deliberating children and lies it becomes necessary to separate when it is problematic and when it is not. Everybody lies sometimes (even adults) and practically all parents will attest that children lie, perhaps not how adults understand a lie, but nonetheless, by stretching the truth, hiding facts, embellishing stories and denying the obvious. Children under 5 years of age will, and do have difficulty differentiating between reality and fantasy. Time and again children’s fantasy and imaginative worlds can offer more satisfaction than reality does. In addition, their wishes and reality are the same thing. Although they may know that lying is not a good thing to do they do not have self-awareness that they’re doing something wrong. Children aren’t born with a set of value systems; they have to be taught the difference between right and wrong behaviour. The major reasons children lie include the following: Watch out for any underlying difficulties such as ADD/ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Conduct Disorder. These disorders can be very serious and would have to be treated accordingly. Children with ADD/ADHD for example, do tend to be impulsive and as such may tell lies impulsively, that is without thinking about the consequences. Children who lie can be fearful or scared of getting into trouble. Sometimes they may feel that the consequences of being truthful results in much punishment, lectures, discipline or shouting from parents. It is therefore ‘better’ telling lies and avoiding all of that. Children may lie to not take responsibility for their behaviour, to cover up areas they are struggling with (for example, lying about schoolwork and homework may be a way to cover some underlying difficulty), or hide painful feelings. Adolescents may lie as a way to protect their privacy or to cover up embarrassment or feelings of inadequacy. When dealing with children who lie it is best to determine and address the underlying causes of lying. If we condemn and label children as ‘liars’ we run the risk of getting into a pattern of negativity where the lies don’t subside or become habitual. As a parent, encourage the truth. Be willing to listen and refrain from shaming and punishing the child. Rather work together to find a solution to the problem. If difficulties with lying continue contact a child psychologist at the Sandton Psychology Centre in Johannesburg. The psychologist will be able to determine if there are underlying causes to the lying and what is bothering the child on an emotional level. The child psychologist will work closely with the parents and caregivers to find a healthier way of communicating and dealing with the child’s painful feelings and inappropriate behaviour.

Parenting Hub

Review: InnerMagic

Anytime that I can find a good family game to occupy our Saturday night is great find! Especially when this game explores your families inner thoughts. InnerMagic; Children’s Self- Esteem Game is a fantastic way to be creating happiness, encouraging your children to express their feelings and over all tackling their confidence. I found that the game provided such a great insight into my children’s inner thoughts. In the game you find various cards covering: Feelings What they would say if What they would do if Something that they believe or know The purpose of the game is to get between 5 beautifully illustrated “lands”. They get there by throwing the dice and landing on various coloured stars. Each star that they land on has a question card that go with it such as “How would you feel if…..” One is able to collect a Magic Ring each time you reach a new land and the person to collect all the different Magic Rings wins. I really would recommend this game to any parent. Although the game targets between the ages of 5 and 11 years, my twin 15 year olds were quick to join in the fun and explore their feelings with the family as well. For more information visit http://www.raisingkidspositively.com/

Paarl Dietitians

Crèche Syndrome

Parents whose children attend crèche or playgroups are very often faced with crèche syndrome. Crèche syndrome is not a condition you will read about in medical textbooks or medical research journals and literature. Yet crèche syndrome is probably the most common chronic condition seen by paediatricians in private practice. CRECHE SYNDROME – THE FACTS Crèche syndrome refers to a phenomenon whereby young children come down with repeated episodes of infections that includes an ongoing cycle of colds, sniffles, excessive upper respiratory snottiness, wet coughs and in more serious cases lead to secondary ear infections, sinusitis, tonsillitis, bronchitis and even pneumonia. Young children are very easily infected at a crèche or playgroup where they come into contact with other children on a daily basis. In a crèche environment, children engage with each other for several hours at time, in a very close proximity, and this exposes young children to whatever infections are doing the rounds. In winter time the children spend most of their time indoors, which is a breeding ground for illness. Vulnerable age group Babies and young children (under the age of 2 years) are most vulnerable to crèche syndrome. Their immune systems is immature and still developing, which mean they are more susceptible to viruses at a young age leading to frequent and more severe infections. The vicious cycle… It is all about continuous virus load – one after another – that wears down the children’s health. However, even though children need to build antibodies against various germs and infections, crèche syndrome doesn’t build enough resistance because of the unrelenting cycle of illness. By the time the virus has infected the first child and travelled through another 10 children at crèche, it reinfects the original child because its form has changed (mutated). After repeated infections a child’s immune system become compromised. Subsequently, these children can get as many as 10 upper airway infections per year. During each episode they could have 10-20 days of a runny nose and a cough as well as fever for the first 3 days (72hours). The result Crèche syndrome is exhausting! It involves a never-ending rollercoaster ride of illness, doctor visits, medication, time off work and very little sleep. The good news Crèche syndrome does not last forever. A young child’s immune system strengthens and becomes better at identifying and dealing with viruses. After the first two to three years you will notice that infections become fewer and often less severe. CRECHE SYNDROME AND ANTIBIOTICS Antibiotics are often prescribed too frequently to treat crèche syndrome and without justification. Antibiotics are rarely the solution because most infections are viral, for which they do not work. They will however kill good bacteria in our body. This disrupts the balance of bacteria present in the digestive system and in so doing compromise the immune system making the child even more susceptible to infections. This becomes a vicious cycle. Recurrent use of antibiotics may also have a negative impact on long-term health. According to research, children exposed to oral antibiotics repeatedly as a baby or young child are more likely to develop allergic disease (eczema, asthma, allergic rhinitis), food allergies, irritable bowel syndrome, inflammatory bowel disease i.e. crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis (IBD) as well as coeliac disease. The wrong use of antibiotics may lead to the development of antibiotic resistance which is of increasing concern.  When it really becomes mandatory to use antibiotics, the may not be able to eradicate the offending bacteria. LITTLE BODIES NEED BIG SUPPORT The treatment of crèche syndrome is usually symptomatic and seldom addresses the cause – the underdeveloped immune system. Therefore, the best way to deal with crèche syndrome is to help support and strengthen the immune system to fight infections and thereby prevent the cycle of the condition. Fight it with food Good nutrition is essential in fighting crèche syndrome. It is very important to provide the essential vitamins and minerals much needed by the immune system but also to prevent nutrient deficiencies. The problem is that many toddlers are fussy eaters and parents fall into the trap of feeding them something they know they’ll eat. Often processed meals e.g. pizza or 2-minute noodles instead of nutritious food. This means they miss out on very important nutrients and their immune systems as well as gut become impaired so they catch colds frequently. This can spiral into a vicious cycle of eating less and catching more infections. After repeated bouts of illness many children often battle to catch up the weight they lost making them even more susceptible. Missing immune supportive nutrients Nutrient deficiencies is a well-known cause of immune system malfunction and young children are very often deficient in immune supportive nutrients. An underlying iron, zinc or vitamin D deficiency are often present and can affect the immune system dramatically and increases a child’s vulnerability to an infection. If a child presents with recurring infections it is of value to have blood tests done to establish if there is any underlying nutrient deficiency present. These deficiencies can be easily corrected by means of supplementation. IMMUNE BOOSTING SUPPLEMENTATION Multi-vitamin If a child is a picky eater, multivitamin supplementation should be considered to help support the immune system. Daily supplementation ensure that the body is getting all of the building blocks for a healthy immune system. Look for a high quality broad spectrum multivitamin with vitamins A, B, C, D, E, and B12, zinc, selenium and magnesium. There are so many supplements available on the market that it can be confusing which to use. Paarl Dietitians would be able to advise you on the most appropriate supplement. I usually suggest that children should rather drink a no.3 formula up to 3 years of age rather than cow’s milk that does not supply all the required nutrients for brain development and building a strong immune system. Important – Do not exceed 500ml of milk a day to reduce the risk of an iron deficiency. Probiotics Probiotics seem to be the new

Aupair Exclusive

10 reasons why you should use a Childcare recruitment agency

I have been placing staff in homes to take care of children for 11 years now.  I am often asked by new parents why they should make use of an agency as opposed to sourcing someone on their own. Of course it is a lot cheaper to get someone out of the local newspaper, a referral from a friend, your local community centre or church and while you do hear success stories of these searches you also hear about a lot of frustrations and difficult situations that parents found themselves in. You are paying an agency to provide you with a service and while you may not have walked into a store and bought an item and taken it home, you have made a very important decision on a person who you will be entrusting with your most precious being, your child. She will be responsible for the daily care and well being of your child and you want to know that when you leave home in the morning you do it with a feeling of “ I have made the right decision for both my child and myself “. The agency’s expertise come into play with being able to wade through the candidates and identify the experienced, honest and reliable from the influx of job seekers that try anything to secure a position. Some pointers as to why you are paying an agency: Saving time Everybody has a full time job now days, with both mom and dad working. When you get home the last thing you want to do is sit and read through streams of names in the the local paper and then start calling them. It is a lot easier to submit an application form to an agency with your requirements and have them send you only three of the best candidates suited to your requirements and even if you interview all three it will only take up 2 – 3 hours of your time and they should have all been valuable candidate You don’t know exactly what you are looking for Often moms will phone me and say that they know they need someone to take care of their children but they don’t quite know what they want. It is up to the agency to then try and find out the family dynamics and make suggestions on what type of candidate they think will work best. Sometimes the agency will have to send one or two different types of candidates in order for the parents to interview and get a better feel. Only then  are they able to identify exactly what their needs are. Pre – screened candidates All the candidates that you receive from an agency should already be screened. So they should have been interviewed in person, the agency will have confirmed that they are literate, they will have a copy of their ID, passport or asylum, work permit, they will send you an up to date cv with all information on it including salaries, ages of children, job description etc, copies of certificates , references will be produced. By doing this you will be receiving candidates that are suitable for the job that you have a vacancy for. You want a candidate that is trained properly While childminding and aupairing in South Africa do not require any formal qualifications, there are many courses that can be taken to train these candidates and better equip them with the necessary skills to perform their job to the best of their ability. An agency will have the knowledge and understanding of which courses are best suited for which position and many agencies now offer their own courses. This makes it a lot better for the clients as they now have piece of mind knowing that the candidate has been through a course at that particular company and they can question the company on what the course material involves. Advice on market related salaries  The agency will be able to give an honest opinion on the market related salaries. Over and above the minimum wage set by the government they will be able to recommend a salary based on a candidates experience and qualifications and also suggest to a family what they should offer when they know what the working hours and the job description will be. A good agency should not over price a candidate in order to increase their commission as this is just unfair to the candidate who in the long run will suffer when she has to move on to a new family. Interviews The agency is responsible for setting up the interviews once the client has confirmed a date, time and venue. The agency must confirm with the candidate and make sure that she understands the location and time. The agency must then let the client know that everything is confirmed. After the interview the agency must follow up with both the client and the candidate to get feedback. One should never assume that because the candidate is looking for work she will just accept the position, it is very important to see if she was happy with everything that was discussed and if the distance she would travel is fine etc. The agency must try and prevent any issues from arising should the candidate be offered the job. Negotiations Money is never an easy topic, and while people are desperate for work they don’t want to be taken advantage of and at the same time parents don’t want to feel like they are under paying someone because they know they are looking after their children.  The agency should be left to do the negotiating of salary always as both parties are a lot more honest and straight forward when a third party is involved. I always ask the candidate to tell me how much their transport cost for example so that we can see what they would be earning daily. Often the agency has to go up and down

Mia Von Scha

Earning Screentime

I’ve never been a fan of kids spending hours and hours in front of screens. When I grew up we didn’t have computers, and we were limited to one TV program a week. I resented this at the time, but looking back on my childhood I have memories of riding my bike round the neighbourhood, playing makeshift games of softball in the back yard, climbing trees, making mud pies, dressing up, designing doll’s clothes, and doing a multitude of other creative activities. Our days were full and spent almost entirely outdoors, and most of all fun. Of the TV programs that I did watch I have a few scant memories that don’t amount to much. We don’t have a TV at home now, although we do download movies and select TV shows for ourselves and the kids. When they were very little our children had some time with us on our computers playing learning games, and we didn’t own an iPad until they were quite a bit older. However, over the years it has become easier and easier to slip into bad habits and lose track of how much time they are actually spending in front of a screen. One hour became two, and on the weekend sometimes became four. It is convenient for us as adults to know that the kids are busy and entertained while we catch up on some work, tend to the garden, make the dinner and do the hundred other things on our to do lists. It is easier to hand them an iPad than to encourage them to come up with something else to do. What I noticed, though, was that after a couple of hours on an iPad or playing Mine Craft on their computers, my little darlings turned into little monsters. When they emerged from behind whatever electronic device they had disappeared behind, it was like that were coming down from drugs. They would fight each other, fight us, become rude and uncooperative, and sometimes even throw proper tantrums. It was not ok. Something had to be done. I genuinely considered removing all technology from our home and just dealing with the onslaught of anger and resentment that would surely follow. The thing is, I’m actually not against technology in general and I’m even quite impressed by games like Mine Craft and the kind of skills that kids are learning while they play. And then, of course, there’s the thing of this being our children’s future. Whether we like it or not, they are part of the digital age and they are going to need to navigate these worlds in order to progress. So what I decided was to simultaneously encourage them to engage in other activities and limit their screen time in a way where they could still be in control of how they were spending their time outside of technology. I created a points system. 100 points = 1 hour of screen time. I specifically made it easy enough that with a little effort, they can earn 100 points in a day. I was also careful to include many things on the list that they actually enjoy doing and that will help them to advance their own values and interests (they can get points for drawing, playing the piano, reading a book, doing a creative project or science experiment). I did, of course, add a few things that I would like too (making their beds, helping with cooking and gardening, tidying their rooms)! They don’t have to do everything on the list. In fact, there’s nothing that they have to do. Every item is optional. If they choose to earn all their 100 points by drawing pictures, that is fine. If they’d rather do a variety of things, that’s also ok. My intention is to keep it fun and light so that they can see that they can enjoy life outside of a computer: Real life also has something to offer. The result was remarkable. I explained to them why I was implementing the new system and they could see themselves that they were irritable and grumpy after a day online, so they were open to the idea from the start. Within a day they were up to all sorts of things around the house, they had rekindled their relationship with each other (which had become somewhat rocky), they were cheerful and engaged in life and such a pleasure to be around. We also started connecting more as a family – playing board games, going for walks, planning family outings, chatting around the dinner table. Both children became avid readers overnight. It has been about 3 weeks now and our entire household is transformed. And, they’re still getting to play on their computers at least every second day, or even every day if they feel motivated to do so. But it isn’t the be all and end all of everything. The Lego has come out of its dusty spot in the corner, our home is filled with artworks again, there is quite literally music and singing filling the air. Screen time is earned and enjoyed, but it’s no longer the focus of their every moment. Memories are being made. Connections are being nurtured. We are all happier and more fulfilled. Life is good – both online and off!

The Headache Clinic

Is food triggering your Migraine?

Migraine is a very common problem that affects about 18% of all women and 6% of all men.  Studies have shown that environment, lifestyle, and diet can play a large role in how often you get migraines. Dr Elliot Shevel, Medical Director and founder of The Headache Clinic says that the most commonly reported migraine triggers include alcohol (especially red wine and beer), chocolate, aged cheese, cured meats, food preservatives that contain nitrates and nitrites, and monosodium glutamate (MSG). Although these are the most common, almost any food can be a trigger. Even so, only about 20% of migraine suffers have an identifiable food trigger. There is no certainty why certain foods trigger headaches, but suggested mechanisms are as follows: Chocolate 22 percent of headache sufferers identify chocolate as one of their headache triggers. But many people with migraines have increased appetite and food cravings just before their headaches start. Reaching for a chocolate bar may be the result of a migraine, rather than the cause. Alcohol Sulfites used as preservatives in red wine have been linked to migraine headaches. Alcohol in any drink causes the blood vessels in the scalp to dilate, and can also result in dehydration, both of which might be headache triggers. Alcohol is also a potent trigger for cluster headaches – otherwise known as “suicide headaches”. They are known as suicide headaches because the pain is so severe that sufferers do sometimes actually commit suicide. Caffeine Caffeine can actually help get rid of a migraine headache, and caffeine may be included in some migraine medications, but too much caffeine can be a headache trigger when you come down from your caffeine “high.” Aged cheese It is generally agreed that aged cheese is more likely to cause a headache, because it contains a substance called tyramine that forms as the proteins in cheese break down over time. The longer a cheese ages, the more tyramine it has. MSG Monosodium glutamate (MSG), which is found in soy sauce and as a food additive has been implicated in causing migraine. The interesting thing though, is that in cultures where MSG is used extensively, the percentage of migraine sufferers is the same as in other countries. Ice cream The stabbing pain you get when you eat ice cream too fast is a reaction to the cold, not the ice cream itself. An ice cream headache is more likely if you are overheated. The pain peaks in about 30 to 60 seconds. “Cold foods like ice cream may be migraine triggers for people who suffer from migraines, but for most people, the pain goes away quickly. Bananas Bananas usually don’t appear on lists of foods that are headache triggers, but they could trigger a migraine for people who are sensitive to tyramine, the same substance found in aged cheese. Preserved meats The nitrates and nitrites used as preservatives in hot dogs, bacon, and lunch meats may dilate blood vessels and trigger headaches in some people. According to Dr Shevel, studies can’t tell you what food may trigger your headaches, but many people do have food triggers. There are a few important things to remember about migraine food triggers says Shevel: Migraine attacks are often due to multiple factors.  There are many non-dietary trigger factors for migraine. When you’re already stressed, not sleeping well, and not exercising, eating a food trigger may make it more likely to have a migraine attack. In this case, it is the combination of all of these different things that contribute to the migraine, and not just the one food. Your personal food triggers can be difficult to figure out.  Here are some suggestions: Keep a food diary along with your headache diary, to help identify what you ate before migraine attacks. You can download a diary by clicking here Some foods can trigger a headache right away, while with other foods the headache can be delayed up to 24 hours. If you think a specific food is triggering migraine attacks, you may try to avoid that food for a month. Only limit one food at a time so that there can be no confusion as to which one affected you and monitor your symptoms to see if they improve. Be careful about trying extremely strict diets.  There is a risk of avoiding foods that are not necessarily migraine triggers and you may be missing out on many important nutrients. Dr. Shevel is South Africa’s pioneer in the field of migraine surgery and the Medical Director and Founder of The Headache Clinic, says that although migraine has many triggers, most people cannot identify their individual triggers. The best way to treat migraine is not to focus upon the triggers, but upon the underlying pain source. With the latest state-of-the-art diagnostic and treatment techniques developed at The Headache clinic, it is possible to prevent migraine pain in most patients, once the cause of the pain is eliminated.

Parenting Hub

How to balance being a mom and businesswoman

Zoe Ellender, the camp director of Sugar Bay Resort and mom to three children, shares her story about how she is able to run her own business and be a mom. Ellender gave up her formal career in Law and Legal Services to pursue her dream of creating a safe and fun paradise for children. Inspired by the concept of American summer camps, Ellender founded Sugar Bay which is a children’s holiday camp in KwaZulu Natal that kids from all over South Africa and the world can enjoy. Sixteen years later, she smiles and delegates as the proud owner of one of the best children’s camps in South Africa and as a proud mom of three. Ellender shares some of her challenges and how she overcame them: Three years after the inception of Sugar Bay, Ellender was blessed with her first child, a beautiful daughter named Tao. During this period, Ellender was still fully involved in the day-to-day running of her business and juggling being a new mother to her firstborn. “It certainly wasn’t easy being a mother and running a business that just recently kicked-off. At this early stage of the establishment of my company, there was pressure to ensure that salaries were paid and that functions were being executed correctly. I recall when Tao was around three years old and I was a Lifeguard Instructor at camp, being so engrossed in work and passionate about what I do, I had completely forgotten to fetch her from nursery school,” Ellender shared. In 2008, Ellender gave birth to her son Cuan. During this period, she was fortunate enough to be able to take six-months of uninterrupted maternity leave. In 2015, the Ellender’s third child, a baby boy named Asher was welcomed into their family. Ellender had taken a year and a half to be with him and has now finally returned to work full time. “This was the longest time I have taken off from work for maternity leave. Coming back was a big adjustment. I felt like I was out of a job for a while,” she said chuckling. Little Asher is now being cared for by an au pair while his mom is back to being the boss on a full-time basis. Having an au pair makes things so much easier for a woman to be a mom and run a business simultaneously. “My advice to moms who are struggling to juggle their careers and motherhood would be to learn how to trust people with your children so that we can learn to let go and focus on ourselves as well as other things that matter to us. When you look after other people’s children, you will understand the importance of trust. You will need to take risks so that you can eventually have no problem trusting other people with your children. You’ve got to hire great staff, people who are fantastic with children and will be great role models for them. Luckily for me, I have witnessed this first-hand having run a business that cares for children. I have been inspired by my own staff to trust others with my kids, hence, I have gained the courage and confidence to hire an au pair and leave baby Asher in his full care throughout the day.” Ellender added, “Fortunately for me, home and work is a stone’s throw away, and I have the privilege of working flexible hours. I love work and also love being at home with the kids. And now, being able to trust someone with my kids while I am at work creates a lovely balance in my life. I am able to focus on one thing at a time instead of worrying about all the others at once. There are also certain games that my kids love playing and would like to play over and over again. I, however, cannot go on more than once. My au pair, on the other hand, has the patience to pursue this as many times as possible, and if this pleases my kids, it pleases me,” she said honestly. Ellender’s experience of juggling her career as a businesswoman and being a mother to three children over the past sixteen years teaches parents to challenge their own fears and to consider allowing their children to be in the care of others if necessary.

David Lorge

Rewire your brain with THINK

The 5-step happiness hack. Here’s something you’ll be familiar with: you’re at home, just minding your own business when all of a sudden a negative thought pops into your head. Maybe you’ll be at your sink, washing up after a nice meal. The hot water is running, and the smell of soap is in the air. You’re rinsing a plate after a particularly vigorous scrub, when all of a sudden, you notice that it has a small chip on its side. Then your thoughts run out of control: “This is a disaster! I have to get all new plates now!” “But I can’t afford it!” “If only I got that promotion that they gave to stupid Andrew.” “What’s wrong with me?!” “I’m such an idiot.” “My life is going nowhere!” Etc. Etc. Etc. Yip. A tiny chip in an old plate can spark off an avalanche of negative thoughts — growing ever more destructive until they take on a life of their own and crush your happiness in their wake. It’s a terrible way to live, yet it is the norm for many of us. We don’t realise that this way of living is a conscious choice that we make. And even fewer of us know that we have the power to control our negative thoughts. Lucky, the brain’s emotional circuits are connected to it’s thinking circuits, which we access whenever we use our conscious mind. That means that you can’t become happier by sheer force of will, so the trick is to change your emotions and behaviours by first changing your thoughts. The Cognitive Behavioral Specialists at Captain Calm have developed a technique that will train you to do just that — it’s called THINK. The technique is simple; we teach the same things to kids. Even the name, THINK, is an acronym to help you remember the steps. As simple as it is to learn, putting it into practice takes hard work and dedication. However, like anything challenging, it is worthwhile. We’ve seen firsthand how the implementation of this technique has changed people’s lives and helped them to become a far more positive, rational, happier version of themselves. So, if the Avalanche is the villain of your mind, then the most effective way to fight him off is by developing a super power. That’s exactly what THINK is — a mental superpower. One that will give you extraordinary control over your mind so that you can break free from the oppression of negative thoughts and unleash your full potential.   Here’s the first step. Take a step back Negative thoughts tumble down from the mysterious mountain that is your subconscious. There’s no stopping them, and you definitely can’t control the thoughts that your subconscious mind presents to you. However, you can learn to become more aware when negative thoughts enter your conscious mind and notice when you’re on the brink of a negative thought avalanche. Here’s the important part when you’ve realised that — that you take a step back and make the choice that you will not be swept up in your thoughts. Instead of being outside, battered by the crushing ice and snow, rather be inside your house, where you are safe, warm and merely observing the avalanche through your window — aware of your thoughts but removed from them. This is a practice called meta-cognition, which is just a snazzy term for ‘thinking about your thoughts.’ It’s important for you to build up your meta-consciousness muscles so that you can learn to be aware of your negative thoughts and not allow them to go unchecked, take over and make you miserable. How do you do that? It’s quite simple really: take a step back — respond, don’t react. Assess your thoughts rationally and know that you have the power to control them. Huge breath Now that you’ve removed yourself from the heat of the moment (or the cold, to continue the metaphor), you need to centre yourself and calm down with the next step — a huge breath. Breathing plays a vital role in balancing your body and mind. It helps you to calm down and think clearly. When you’re having negative thoughts that cause fear or anger, your heart races and adrenaline starts to surge through your body. Adrenaline is very useful when there’s an actual threat, but when there’s only a perceived threat, like the one a negative thought causes, it becomes a problem. The symptoms of panic start to set in — symptoms that impair cognitive function and add to your feelings of stress. You need to get your adrenaline levels under control, and the best way to do that is by balancing your oxygen and carbon dioxide levels. Oxygen fuels adrenaline. That’s why humans hyperventilate in stressful situations and why people who are having panic attacks breathe into a paper bag — so that they inhale more carbon dioxide to counterbalance the surge of oxygen-fueled adrenaline. So take a deep breath. Go on, give it a try now. If you can breathe in, hold your breath and exhale for seven seconds each, then you’re doing great. Identify your thoughts To change your negative thoughts, you first need to identify exactly what it is that you are thinking — bringing to light what it is that is holding you down. When you identify your thoughts, you regain control over them and take their destructive power away. You might find that you’re jumping to irrational conclusions. You may even find that what is making you feel down is not necessarily the thought on the surface, but something deeper. This step allows you to address your thoughts and pay attention to them because negative thoughts exist for a reason — they are trying to tell you something. You need to make sure that you respond to them positively and appropriately. Don’t just ignore them or push them aside or you will be neglecting important information that will help you adapt and better your life. A word of caution — It’s important not to dwell on this step for too long. If you do, you will be allowing yourself to slip back into the path of the

Prima Toys

How Play Fosters Your Child’s Development

Anyone would be forgiven for viewing toys as simply special occasion gifts that offer a temporary distraction for our children, or as objects that entertain our little ones while we busy ourselves with other grown up duties. Yet beyond this, toys open up a whole world of learning opportunities for our kids. Playing with toys equips children with skills that foster their development beyond imaginary battles between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and their enemies or playing house with the yummy smelling Num Noms. Toys help kids develop fine motor skills and think creatively along with many other valuable dexterities. The more children play with toys the more equipped they become for progression to other stages of their lives. Children learn a number of skills they will need and use as adults as they play. When children use toys such as Poppit – where they create things using clay and moulds – they are able to build and make and refine their fine motor skills while doing so.  They also learn about different colours and using them successfully.  Once the building project is complete, this stirs up feelings of achievement. “I win! I’m good at that!” In the same way that adults feel a sense of accomplishment when they’ve seen a project through from planning to completion, children too feel a sense of pride after building their Poppit kingdom from scratch. These feelings build and reinforce self-esteem and self-confidence in a child. Playing with dolls like Baba Tasha, Baby Born or Sofia the First encourages role play where kids are able to be mom and dad for a while and look after baby, put it to sleep and take care of it.  Role play has the ability to lengthen attention span through the making up of games and stories with multiple storylines, characters and endings. This enables children to develop better judgement, reasoning and problem solving and negotiation skills. When playing with friends or siblings these skills can go even further to include taking turns, working together in a team, listening to each other, playing fair and helping each other. On your next trip to the toy store, before you pick up a toy to brighten up your little one’s day, remember that toys play a big part in advancing your child’s development beyond what they are learning at school. Think about what stage of growth they are in and match your toy selection to the skills you would like them to practice and learn. For more information go to www.primatoys.co.za

Barbara Harvey

Gestational Diabetes: What to Eat?

Gestational Diabetes is a hormone imbalance where the Pancreas starts making not enough insulin for both Mom and baby. It usually dissipates once the infant is born. Maintaining health in the meantime really does depend on Mom’s diet. Being a diabetic myself I want to share with you the strategies I use. This blog is to help you as soon as you get home. It will help you until you can get further medical help. Carbohydrates are the number one issue for diabetics.  This is because the pancreas is responsible for keeping the sugar in the bloodstream even. Every carbohydrate becomes sugar in the blood. The key here is to avoid simple carbohydrates. The darker the carb the better. Because simple carbs digest very quickly in the body. For instance, sweet potatoes are better than any other kind of potato, pumpernickel bread is better than white or even wheat. Sprouted bread is great, make sure you get a name brand like Ezekiel or something from a Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s to be sure it is not full of pesticides. Grains Some grains are better than others for slower digestion of the sugars in the food. The key to remember is the closer a grain is when it comes out of the ground when you eat it the better. Therefore, eating steel cut oats is better than packaged oats. Here is an article from the Huff Post of 17 yummy looking recipes. Brown rice is better than white rice. I use the following recipe for brown rice. 1 cup of brown rice 3 cups of water 1 carrot washed not peeled 1/2 onion 1 stalk of celery 1 tsp Salt 1 tsp Pepper Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Put all ingredients in a cassorle dish and cover. Bake on a cookie sheet for 45-55 minutes or until all the water has evaporated. Remove veggies before eating. Or you can cut the vegies into bite sized pieces before cooking makes a great side dish. Sugar is the one thing most folks have issues with replacing. Sugar substitutes can be horrible. Both on the pallet and in the body. Natural ones are better. The two I interchange are stevia and monk fruit. I have developed a taste for both. Some people do prefer monk fruit as it seems to taste less bitter. For stevia I love Sweet Leaf  brand. They have so many products available it boggles the mind. They have everything from loose powder, packet, tablets, and liquid water enhancers, to flavored sweeteners for your variety of needs. I love to add the vanilla drops when I make smoothies, or a squirt of chocolate and caramel in my coffee for a treat. Monk fruit mostly comes in powder form I have tried Monk Fruit in the Raw. But, another brand some friends use seems just as good it is called Lakanto  Milk I have learned most Diabetics have a hard time with cow’s milk. The lactose carries a lot of sugar. However, if you are going to drink cow’s milk stick with whole milk. In the skim milks they add sugar to replace the fat so it tastes better. You can try drinking other kinds of milk. Almond, coconut, goat, and cashew are the most popular. I drink Califia Farms an almond milk. I have tried most brands this has the feel of cow’s milk in the mouth, which is why I like it. Califia also carries creamers, cold brew coffees and other items. Many of which you will have to order online. I have tried coconut milk,  and have used it from time to time. However, like the oil you have to like the strong taste of coconut. Goat’s milk is another which I like but get it in a carton not canned because it picks up the tinny flavor. Consider goat milk is drunk by most of the world. Also, rice milk is an alternative. I have not tried it so I have no hints on it. Protein is a great friend of the diabetic. Because proteins cause carbohydrates to be more steadily absorbed by the body. I suggest if you eat a carb eat protein too. Fish, meat, nut butters, cheese, and eggs are all considered proteins. Then there are beans and legumes which are considered both a carb and a protein. Quinoa is the only grain which is also a whole protein. It is a good alternative to eating rice and oats. I use the same recipe  for Quinoa as brown rice (above). Another great thing about protein is that the number of proteins in a product lessens the carb count. If the proteins on a product is at 5 grams (g) or above you can subtract one carb per each gran of protein over 5. So if a product has 15 g of protein and 25 total carbs you can say the food has 10 g of carbs.A serving of protein is about the size of your palm. Fruits and Vegetables generally it is best to stay away from high glycemic fruits such as bananas, and dried fruits. Juice of all kinds are also not recommended. Because if the number of fruits it takes to make one glass of juice. One orange may have 15 carbs, the five oranges in a glass of juice has 45. When eating fruits reach for preferably fresh or frozen berries, oranges, apples, cherries, grapes. kiwi, plums, peaches, nectarines the list is extensive You also want to watch for waxy and starchy vegetables. These include things like beets, peas, corn,  and white potatoes. Instead, you want to reach for fresh or frozen peppers, broccoli leafy green vegges, okra, parsnips, radishes, cucumbers, onions, rutabaga, the list goes on and on. Important Rule for eating carbs-There is one basic rule for women eating carbs 15 g of carbs per snack, 30 per meal between 90 and 120 per day. Keep in mind this includes grains and fruits. One piece of fruit is generally

Ati2ud

What children need from their parents?

“Mama or Dada” – these are usually the most common first two words that babies utter when learning to speak creating a special and close bond between parent and child. The relationship parents begin to have with their new born baby is almost indescribable. Right from birth and through childhood, children are attached to their parents seeking affection and guidance, but as they grow older, that diminishes. So what do young adults really want from their parents?  Well the answer differs from person to person, some would say financial support for their basic necessities such as groceries, clothing, education, medical fees etc. Parents experience unconditional love and make all efforts to care for them celebrating each milestone along the way such as when babies are learning to talk, walk and play. If these needs are met, what else can a parent offer their child? This is where it goes back to being babies and that’s what parents should never lose touch with. The first steps of an infant are just as important as the steps young adults make into becoming independent. When they have passed their exams, got their degree, their first job, their first car – be there to cheer them on in every way. Some parents are what is termed as “helicopter” parents where they hover over their child’s every move and take care of all their needs – whilst there is nothing wrong with this, the risk is that you disempower your child to learn essential life skills and how to do things for themselves which they will need later on in life. On the other hand some parent’s feel they do not want to pamper to their child’s every need, and the risk here is that children can grow up without have a sense of healthy boundaries. However, there’s a fine line between interfering and showing that you care for example, your 21 year old gets into a romantic relationship and you insist on knowing everything that happens in the relationship – this can be seen as meddling and can end up causing conflict between you and your child. Rather show support and care by letting your child know that if she/he wants to talk or needs advice then you are available and there for them. It’s important to keep a healthy boundary between being a parent to your child vs. wanting to be their best friend. One of the most common things I hear from a child that they desire from their parent is time. Children want to spend time with their parents yet complain that their parents never have time for them or are always busy. What this really boils down to is that children feel that they do not get their parents undivided attention when they do get to spend time with their parents, they are either busy doing something else or not really present in the moment.  Children want their parents to be involved at a level that it comfortable and safe for them and making time for them is invaluable. The other key requirement from children is Trust. Children want their parents to trust them in that they are able to make their own decisions (age appropriate of course) and that parent’s don’t always know everything. Adults were once teenagers too remember? Parents need to gradually learn to trust their children with little things such as going out on my own or running errands. Children often complain how their parents do not trust them. They believe they have trusted their parents all their lives and as they grow older they expect parents to trust them in return. Children completely get that their parents are always looking out for them and want what’s best for them but they also want to feel like they are in charge of their own lives and can make their own decisions based on their needs and what’s happening in their lives at that moment. The key here is for parents to start teaching children from a young age how to weigh up their options and make informed decisions based on the information they have at hand and the consequences for each option before making a decision. You child will thank you for these skills well into their adult years! As children grow, parents have to learn to grow ‘with’ them instead of growing ‘away’ from them. Know when space is needed, know your child’s interests and dislikes, interact with them and that way your relationship with your child will grow positively. That’s not to say you won’t butt heads with your child but rather that you will have a solid enough relationship with them to navigate the speedbumps along the way. If you’re feeling challenged getting through to your child, here are some tips that you may find useful: Find out what your child’s goals, dreams and vision are. Ask them what they need from themselves and you to help them in fulfilling these goals or what they plan to do after reaching these goals. Help them weigh up the ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ of each situation and which one they think is the right one for them based on where they are at. If your child does not have goals set up or striving dreams, let them know that’s its okay to be confused or uncertain because that’s the journey of life. Advise them to be patient and explore a variety of options. It’s ok to try something to find out whether they like it or not, and it’s ok to change their minds if they find they no longer want to pursue something. Be patient with them as they learn, explore and grow. Keep having conversations with them, even if it’s frustrating at times, let them know you’re there when they are ready to open up. Let them speak to other people such as teachers, family member and peers to get various views and input to help them make informed choices. Be sure to

Parenting Hub

Steps to Successful Baby Massage

There are a few small steps to follow to make infant massage successful. Get yourself ready.  Make massage part of your daily routine.  Keep interaction the main aim, rather than getting the  massage routine right. Keep in mind, touch is natural, and massage is simply stylised touch. Massaging your baby allows for bonding, ensuring extra feel good hormones are released by baby, mum and dad. And if you are lactating, prolactin and oxytocin are released ensuring a plentiful milk supply. Get the room ready.  Usually babies are “in the buff” when getting massaged, so ensure the room is warm, put on a heater and close the windows. If you find a heater too hot and uncomfortable for yourself, then preheat the area with a heating pad under the bed linen, then switch off or onto low once you start. Ensure items like a spare nappy, massage oil and milk are ready.  Babies can get thirsty after and during massage.  Often it’s giving your baby the comfort of a familiar feed that allows you to continue massage.  Just be warned, if your baby does feed in between, no tummy massage. Use cold pressed vegetable oil.  Why not just use any oil or lotion?  Cold pressed oils retain their natural antioxidant goodness.  This means minerals, vitamins and omegas can be absorb by your baby’s skin.  Also if baby puts her foot/hand into her mouth or eyes, there will most likely be no reaction. Steer clear of nut oils though, until you have established your baby’s unique allergy tolerance.  I find Grape-seen oil a lovely light oil to start with. Where to begin massage.  The legs and arms are probably the best place to start massage, whether you have done it many times before or this is your first try.  This is because it feels safe for your baby, and it is easier for mums and dads to control a leg or arm.  Keep the strokes going in an upward direction towards the chest, this improves blood flow around the whole body. Some babies do not like massage, and so here you have to choose whats best for your baby. Keeping massage sessions to just the legs for a while, and keeping sessions short is one way to ensure success.  Under 7 mins.  Or switch it up and do a few massage movements while baby is in the bath.  Keep the massage short and do some more later in the day.  Increase this time slowly, and suddenly you will have your kids lining up for their daily dose. Babies sometimes love massage and then suddenly not.  Use this unusual and sudden change to your advantage. It may be the first clue that your baby may be at the beginning stages of getting sick.  And it may also indicate that baby has had a stressful day, and so extra cuddles are required. And yet still some babies do not like massage, no matter what you try.  Deep touch, light feather touch, only 7 minutes, in the morning, in the night. That’s also okay, I am sure you know a few of your friends who would rather never hug. Sensory integration takes time, patience is the answer here.  Touch should never be forced, no matter the age.  Keep listening to your infants unique verbal, and non verbal clues. Some parents who have children with special needs, have found massage to be an especially special bonding experience, a time of quiet non verbal communication and attachment to one another. Babies of any age can benefit from massage.  Massage can help increase sleep, improve restless sleep, reduces muscle pain for toddlers who are just crawling and walking while improving motor skills, massage can reduce stuffy noses, and can improve digestion.  At times babies appreciate songs or rhymes and talking during the massage, simultaneously stimulating language skills. And yet at other times a quiet peaceful room, to increase sleeplessness is most useful. Keep it fun and lighthearted, a time to bonding, a time to reconnect after being apart and  for getting to know one another.The key to successful massage, make your massage routine fit your families unique needs and schedules.

Kim-Young

HypnoBirthing – Taking the birthing world by calm

The world for the pregnant woman is one filled with excitement, anticipation, anxiety and, in many instances, a very real fear or trepidation, particularly for first timers. HypnoBirthing® is designed to alleviate the factors which cause fear, allowing you to birth your baby using your body’s natural, perfectly designed, and ultra-efficient muscles and pain relief to manage the process calmly and with minimal discomfort. Understanding how pain occurs At the onset of labour, all the senses mentioned above become heightened, and all too often, the fear responses take hold, and begin to govern the progress of the labour. In physiological terms, the body’s response to fear is to release adrenaline, causing muscles to tighten (the flight, fight or freeze response), and blood to divert to the major survival organs (of which the uterus is not one). Thus, the very muscles designed perfectly to birth your baby begin to work against each other and cause pain. The pain causes the body to release more adrenaline, and a cycle of pain-adrenaline-pain is triggered. Added to this, the lack of oxygen in the uterine muscles creates lactic acid, increasing the level of pain even further. The way your body is supposed to work In contrast, when a woman is excited and relaxed about meeting her baby, and she understands and trusts that her body is perfectly designed for the task, she releases endorphins, the body’s natural relaxant, at the onset of labour, which supplement the hormones specifically released to allow her to birth her baby easily. This powerful natural combination of endorphins (which help the muscles relax and are also 200 times more potent than morphine!) and hormones makes the birth an exhilarating and exciting process, rather than one filled with escalating pain and discomfort. How HypnoBirthing® works for you By using a range of simple self-hypnosis, breathing and relaxation techniques, from around 28 weeks of pregnancy, HypnoBirthing® mums are, with regular practice, able to reach a deep state of relaxation, allowing them to switch off the part of the mind which is responsible for triggering the adrenaline release. You’re in full control – the techniques produce an effect no different to the mild state of hypnosis experienced when you become engrossed in a good book, watch TV, daydream, or drive (ever got somewhere and not remembered parts of the journey?). The relaxation makes pregnancy easier and more enjoyable, and HypnoBirthed babies are on average significantly calmer and more relaxed infants. HypnoBirthing® statistics speak for themselves 95% of women are capable of having a ‘comfortable’ birth without medical intervention; 70% of women that have used HypnoBirthing® used no pain relief at all; a further 15% used only something mild such as Entonox (gas and air). HypnoBirthing® was founded by Marie Mongan in the late 1980s in the US and is now taught in 34 countries worldwide. Only practitioners affiliated with the HypnoBirthing® Institute (still run by Marie Mongan) are qualified to teach the course, of which there are now many generic versions.    

Parenting Hub

The key to dealing with your child’s fever

Most parents will attest that watching a child go through the discomfort of a fever can be very stressful on both emotional and practical levels. Knowing just what to do, and when to do it, is a challenge moms have faced for many generations. Clinically speaking, fever is a normal physiological response that allows the body to fight an infection.  This sounds simple enough, but there are many realities at play that make the management of a fever especially complex for parents. Firstly, a raised temperature can be a warning sign of serious illness as well as an indicator of a child’s normal response to an infection. This is one of the primary reasons parents are often so worried about a child’s raised temperature. Another issue is the fact that fever is uncomfortable and distressing for the child, and no parent wants to see their child stressed unnecessarily. If steps can be taken to reduce the load that comes with a fever, they should be. As a result of this complicated context, establishing clear guidelines through which to assess a fever is a very important exercise for parents and health practitioners alike. Experts make it clear that the parent’s primary goal in treating a child with a fever should be to improve their overall comfort, rather than to focus on the normalisation of body temperature. When, however, the fever contributes to pain or notable discomfort, such as a headache, the use of analgesic medication for relief is appropriate. In addition to paying careful attention to assessing and controlling the child’s general discomfort, parents should also familiarise themselves with the broader guidelines set out by health professionals in the management of fever in children. Essential Fever Management Tips Avoid over and under-dressing: Obviously parents should avoid under-dressing the child, but it’s also important to remember that over-dressing prevents the body from cooling. Dress the child in cool, light clothing, preferably a single layer. Cover them with a sheet or light blanket. Relieve pain as it arises: Use approved paediatric products able to offer effective yet gentle relief if the child is in discomfort and / or pain. Products like Calpol are safe to use from 3 months to 6 years for the symptomatic relief of mild to moderate pain caused by teething pains, fever, toothache, sore throats and headaches. Use fluids: Children lose water during a fever and can become dehydrated, so give them plenty of cool liquid to drink. Love: There is nothing more comforting to a distressed child than receiving love and affection. Calpol is available in a 100ml bottle at a Recommended Retail Selling Price of R39.99 Calpol is also available in a 50ml bottle at a Recommended Retail Selling Price of R19.99 Calpol directions for use: Shake the bottle before use NOT RECOMMENDED IN INFANTS UNDER 3 MONTHS 3 months to 1 year:  ½ a medicine measure (2.5 ml) 1 – 2 years: 1 medicine measure (5 ml) 3 – 6 years: 2 medicine measures (10 ml) May be given 3 to 4 times daily, but with an interval of 4 hours between each dose. Doctor should be consulted if no relief is obtained within the recommended dose. (2) DO NOT USE CONTINUOUSLY FOR LONGER THAN 10 DAYS WITHOUT CONSULTING A DOCTOR Footnotes: 1. Janice E. Sullivan, MD, Henry C. Farrar, MD, and the SECTION ON CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY AND THERAPEUTICS, and COMMITTEE ON DRUGS, Fever and Antipyretic use in Children, Published in Pediatrics 127:580–587, April 7 2011, Page 1 2. Janice E. Sullivan, MD, Henry C. Farrar, MD, and the SECTION ON CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY AND THERAPEUTICS, and COMMITTEE ON DRUGS, Fever and Antipyretic use in Children, Published in Pediatrics 127:580–587, April 7 2011, Page 1 3. National Collaborating Centre for Women’s and Children’s Health, Feverish Illness in Children NHS National Institute for Clinical Excellence Quick Reference Guide 47, May 2007, Page 14 4. Noel Cranswick and David Coghlan, Paracetamol Efficacy and Safety in Children: The First 40 Years,  Published in the American Journal of Therapeutics 7 p. 135-41,  2000, Page 1. About GSK GlaxoSmithKline (GSK) is one of the world’s fast moving consumer health care companies.  GSK has a factory in South Africa, situated in Cape Town. The company has a proud track record of helping South African families to do more, feel better and live longer through the use of appropriate, scientifically proven products. For more info visit: www.gsk.com

Skidz

Brain food – Eating for optimum brain function

As parents we always want what is best for our children, but we don’t always necessarily know what that might be. With some research we find what milestones our children should be reaching and how we can help them develop their brains. You might even have met a parent who refuses to feed their child sugar and might have thought it mean or wondered why. You might be one of the parents who have done it so that your child doesn’t get all hyper from sugar but why is it so vitally important to fee your child a healthy balanced diet? Many people know of the advantages that it has for the body, but how does it affect the brain? For the brain to work effectively it needs two things. A high-energy diet, this means lots of fruit and vegetables and oxygen. This is why exercise is not only good for the body but also for the brain. Your child’s diet needs many important minerals and nutrients to grow and develop optimally. Linoleic acid which is a polyunsaturated fat which is not made by the body is vital for proper transmission of information. In simple terms our brains transmit information through axons. These axons are insulated by the myelin sheath which needs polyunsaturated fat to repair itself. Basically, the better the insulation the better information is transmitted. So include vegetable oil and nuts in your diet. Iron is also important, as an iron deficiency decreases attention span, delays development, and impairs learning and memory. Potassium and Sodium is also needed in the right combination, which is found in raw fruit and vegetables. These include bananas, apricots, avocados, tomatoes, potatoes and pumpkins. Table salt however is not recommended. There are 5 simple steps to follow to feed your child’s brain. Eat a good breakfast with plenty of fresh fruit. Include half a banana or some kiwi. You can serve it with some plain full cream yoghurt too. Eat a good lunch, which includes fresh vegetables. Make fish, nuts, and vegetable fats important parts of your diet. Exercise regularly to oxygenate the blood. Encourage your kids to actively play outside, climb and run. Something to get the heart going. Drink plenty of water to get rid of the toxins in the body. Fizzy drinks or any other drink loaded with sugar should rather be avoided, so also tea and coffee for mom and dad, as these all dehydrate the body. Combine a healthy diet with age appropriate exercises and activities to give your child a head start by developing both his or her body and brain. SKidz Clever Activity Boxes provides the perfect exercises for brain and physical development. Each set includes a variety of activities with all the equipment needed to do them. Learning through purposeful play and exploring is what it encourages.

Paarl Dietitians

Feeding Problems in the Early Years of Life

When you’re a new mom or dad, it can be a huge challenge to parent a baby who’s always cranky. Friends may say your baby is “colicky” or suffer from “reflux” What’s going on and how can you make it through this? COLIC Colic is common, poorly understood & frustrating feeding problem and cause considerable stress for parents & health professionals. Colic is the word derived from the Greek word meaning ‘colon’ and it implies that the baby cries because of stomach pain. Colic affects 10-40% of all babies. It is present equally in boys and girls and equally in both breastfed as well as formula fed babies. Crying seem inconsolably for hours at a time for no apparent reason and tends to occur in the late afternoon and early evening. Symptoms appear typically around 2 weeks of age, lasts until 4 months of age Symptoms usually peaks at 6 weeks of age Spontaneous resolution by 3-6 months of age (3 months: 60% of babies, 4 months in 90% of babies) Starts in premature babies 2 weeks after the due date Higher incidence in C-section babies Characteristics Inconsolable crying – for hours at a time, fussing & irritability in otherwise healthy baby Cry longer and louder for at least 3 days of the week and last about a minimum of 3 hours a day Present with excessive & persistent crying Difficult to comfort Screaming Drawing up of the legs/knees after feeds Tension of the body Fist clenching Arching of the back Flushing of the face Cause: Nobody really knows and the cause of colic remains a very controversial subject. What we do know is that it is related to an immature digestive system. Researchers have been trying to find out why babies cry for no apparent reason and some of the explanations include: Pain caused by build up of wind in the baby’s stomach. This may happen if they Overfeeding – swallow air when they cry, feed or suck. An intolerance to lactose A cows’ milk protein allergy/intolerance Imbalance in intestinal microflora (good and bad bacteria) Maternal smoking Whatever the reason, the most important thing to remember is that the crying is not anybody’s fault. You could be the most attentive, sensitive parent in the world and still have a colicky baby. You can be assured that colic usually resolve by itself within 4 months. Is there anything I can do to help my baby? There are many different things you can try to soothe your baby’s crying and discomfort. Every baby is different and respond differently to treatment, so if it doesn’t work today it may work tomorrow. 1. Keep a diary of your baby’s behaviour. Record your baby’s activities, sleeping, eating, crying, fussing for at least 4-7 days in a row. This will give you a good impression of your baby’s behaviour and possible triggers. 2. Positioning Hold your baby to your chest in the upright position or gently rock him in your arms. The closeness and body warmth will be comforting and soothing. 3. Getting rid of the wind When babies cry they gulp air which can make them windy. Try burping him by supporting his tummy against your shoulder and help dislodge any trapped wind. Massaging the tummy in a circular motion or a warm bath also help to relieve discomfort. 4. Making-up feeds Be careful when making feeds up, don’t shake the bottle to vigorously as this trap air bubbles. Ensure that the bottle is not in a horizontal position during feeding because it could cause your baby to swallow air. 5. Teat size An anti-colic teat or slow flow teat/bottle is a useful option to try. 6. Type of milk Breastfeeding:  If a baby is breastfed, correct latching to the breast is important to prevent swallowing air bubbles. Make sure that a breast is emptied before moving onto the next breast, since the hind milk contains much less lactose than the fore-milk and by swopping breasts to quickly your baby will end up filling themselves with fore-milk which could worsen the colic. Eating rich or spicy foods, dairy products or gas forming foods have all been associated with possible reactions in babies. If you think your baby’s crying is linked to something you’re eating a dietitian would be able to assist you with an elimination diet in order to identify the possible culprit foods as well as on a suitable vitamin/ mineral supplement to avoid any nutritional deficiencies. Formula feeding:  If your baby is unable to digest lactose (milk sugar) in a formula or is intolerant to cows’ milk protein then it may be beneficial to change their milk formula either to an lactose-free formula or an extensively hydrolysed infant formula. Your dietitian would be able to advise you on the most suitable formula. 7. Frequency of feeds It could benefit your baby by reducing the volume of feeds and increasing the frequency of feeding to help ease digestion.E.g. instead of having 6 feeds of 150ml at a time change it to 8 feeds of 115ml at a time. 8. Probiotics There is a possibility that the colic symptoms could be due to an imbalance between the friendly bacteria and the unfriendly bacteria in your babies’ digestive system.  Thus by supplementing the so-called friendly bacteria it may help to restore the imbalance and resolve their symptoms. 9. Digestive enzymes Enzymes can be given before feeds to help with digestion. If your baby is unable to digest lactose their body most probably lack the  enzyme lactase that usually digest lactose. A failure to break down lactose by enzymes causes the milk sugar (lactose) to end up in the large intestine where it starts to ferment and produces gas, eventually leads to discomfort and some cases diarrhoea. REFLUX AND REGURGITATION It is estimated that 15-30% of normal babies experience problems with mild to moderate regurgitation (spitting-up) and gastro-oesophageal reflux. It is not common immediately after birth, but normally appears within or during the first week

Parenting Hub

Subject Choices: Plotting Your Future Options in Grade 9

In coming months, Grade 9’s will have to select the subjects they want to pursue from next year until they write their final Matric exams. While making the call is an exciting exercise for some, others struggle with the commitment, especially when they are not yet sure what they want to study after school. “Subject choice season requires some serious soul searching and big decisions, which are too important to leave until the day when you are presented with a checklist to indicate your choices. It should already be top of mind now for learners who want to give themselves the best chance for success in Grade 12 and beyond,” says Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education institution. Payne says time really is a learners’ friend at this stage, and it is important that the subject choice conversations should start between them, their parents, guardians, teachers and friends. It is also important to not try and make decisions based on crystal-ball gazing, but to use the various resources available to assist with this choice – particularly when learners are unsure about their vision (or lack thereof) for their future, she says. These resources include: 1)     EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGISTS “An educational psychologist associated with a higher education institution, whether public university or private, or even a professional in private practice, can be approached to do an aptitude test,” says Payne. “These professionals are trained to use reliable assessments to gauge where the learner’s talents, interests and strengths lie, and can be used as a strong indicator of the career directions and options the learner should consider.” 2)     INSTITUTIONAL ADVISORS By spending time speaking to advisors at higher education institutions, learners will get a good idea of the range of potential qualifications they can pursue, and what the entrance requirements are. “Your first stop is to visit the websites of various institutions of higher learning, and thereafter, you can further discuss your options with an advisor at the University or Private Higher Education institution’s careers centre,” says Payne. She says that once the learner has an idea of what qualifications or careers excite them, they will be able to make informed matric subject choices. “Your subjects should be very carefully selected and the decision must not be based on doing what your peers are doing or choosing all the easier subjects in the hope of scoring better marks,” she says. Instead, the following factors need to be taken into consideration: IF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO STUDY Look at a range of different institutions and courses within your field of interest to allow yourself some choice and a Plan B after matric. Always consider a second option to avoid disappointment should you not be successful in your application for your first choice of a qualification. IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AFTER MATRIC Choose subject combinations that will leave you with options and room to manoeuvre. If you struggle with Maths and Science, consider keeping only one of them so that you can focus your efforts and achieve good results.  Maths Literacy should only be considered as a last resort, as many courses require Maths and you could be rejected based on the choice you made in Grade 9. FIGURE OUT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY As you spend time at your desk every day, going from class to class, and completing your homework, be alert to which subjects you feel most comfortable with. Do your research and find out how your favourite subjects manifest in the working world, because they might be relevant to a field that you are not yet even aware of. DETERMINE YOUR STRENGTHS Choose at least two subjects that will boost your average. Admission to higher education is performance-based, so it makes sense to do very well in some subjects rather than badly in all of them because you chose only gateway subjects in an effort to keep your options as open as possible. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENT ROUTES TO SUCCESS You may think you won’t stand a chance of getting good enough grades to enter higher education after matric, but there are now many options for further study. The South African National Senior Certificate and the Independent Examinations Board (IEB) have four levels of pass, so even if you do not get a degree pass, you could still qualify for diploma or higher certificate study. Diplomas and higher certificates are normally vocationally or career-focused, and give you access straight to the world of work and even degree study. “The key to making the best matric subject choices for your future self is to ensure you do your research thoroughly, and at a comfortable pace so you don’t have to rush the decision,” says Payne. “These choices will have a profound impact on access to preferred qualifications and the career possibilities thereafter. This is one of the first opportunities teenage learners will have to practise strategic decision-making that will have a lasting effect on their lives, and it should be looked at as an exciting first step into their future as adults, and also a valuable learning and problem-solving lesson.”

Parenting Hub

Flu – Don’t hesitate. Vaccinate…

 According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), every year there are around 5 million cases of severe flu with between 250 000 and 500 000 resulting in death. In South Africa the flu ‘high’ season is usually from April/ May through to August/September. Called ‘seasonal influenza,’ flu spreads very quickly, especially in crowded areas such as schools and public transport. When an infected person coughs or sneezes, droplets infected with viruses spread and people close by breathe them in. The virus can also be spread by contaminated hands. To prevent transmission, people should cover their mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing and wash their hands regularly. A cold is not flu Colds are viruses too. According to the Mayo Clinic there are more than 100 viruses that cause colds. Like flu, colds hit the respiratory system causing a runny or stuffed up nose, watery eyes, perhaps a sore throat and sometimes a cough. You might also get a low fever. But, unlike flu, colds come on slowly. Most people can feel themselves getting sick at least a day in advance. What exactly is flu? Flu is a viral infection that targets your head and chest – usually coming on suddenly. You may experience some of these symptoms: A high fever (higher than 39°C) with chills Dry cough or sore throat Blocked nose or nasal discharge Sweating and shivering Muscle aches and pains, especially in the legs Fatigue and wanting to sleep all day Get a flu shot Bonitas Medical Fund recommends having a flu vaccine and says it is the first line of defence when it comes to protecting yourself, with studies showing it reduces the risk by about 50 to 60%. The vaccine trains your body to recognize flu and fight it. There are three types of flu viruses: A, B, and C. Type C has the mildest of all the symptoms but type A and B are the cause of the flu epidemics each year. The vaccine is made up of a small, inactive part of that season’s flu virus. Being inactive, it cannot infect your body with the virus, yet it allows your body to make antibodies to fight it. In that way you’re building up immunity. Should a pandemic occur, at least your body has had time to acquire immunity against the current circulating flu viruses. Most medical aids offer one free flu vaccine a year and it’s a good idea to take up the offer, otherwise head to your doctor, pharmacy or clinic and pay for a vaccine. ‘The annual flu vaccine protects you against the current season’s three or four most common flu virus strains,’ explains Gerhard Van Emmenis, Acting Principal Officer of Bonitas.‘Besides protecting yourself it also protects the people around you, especially those more susceptible to getting ill and, if you do still get flu, it will be very much milder. ‘About 14.08% of absenteeism in corporate South Africa is related to influenza,’ says Van Emmenis, ‘although the vaccine isn’t perfect and there’s no 100% guarantee, it is by far the best way to lessen your chances of getting it. By doing this you can play a part in maintaining your and your family’s wellness and keeping yourself healthy.’ Bonitas advises everyone to have a flu vaccine but particularly those in high risk groups and it’s best to have this before the end of April. These include: People aged 65 or older, especially if living in a retirement home Anyone with a heart and lung problems, including asthma or with chronic illnesses like anaemia, diabetes or kidney failure Immune-suppressed people, including those who are HIV-positive Caregivers and close contacts of any of the above. Smokers, as they are more prone to respiratory illnesses Cancer sufferers The WHO reports that some preliminary studies suggest that obesity, and especially extreme obesity, may also be a risk for more severe disease. Children under the age of 12 years Children are also at risk Dr Iqbal Karbanee from Bonitas Babyline – the first dedicated children’s health advice line in South Africa says, ‘Children in particular have an immune system that is not yet fully developed. As a result they are very susceptible to getting the ‘flu. In addition, children are often exposed in crowded environments such as creches and pre-schools. There is a constellation of symptoms and signs to look out for including increased secretions from the nose, cough, fever, a sore body, diarrhoea and vomiting.’ Vaccines for toddlers and children For children over the age of six months having the vaccine for the first time, two doses are indicated, given one month apart. If a child has had a ‘flu vaccine before, then only one dose is required. Up to the age of 8 years, the dose of the vaccine given to children is half the adult dose. If a child is ill, the illness should first be treated fully before a vaccination is done. Prevention is best The most effective preventive measures are to reduce spread and contact through isolation when a child is ill. Keeping your child out of pre-school is essential to prevent further spread, or letting them staying at home until they feel better. ‘We realise these measures are subjective and not always possible,’ says Dr Karbanee, ‘so the best, safest and most cost-effective method of prevention remains vaccination.’ Taking antibiotics Remember taking antibiotics when you have a virus will not help and in some cases do more harm than good. It is only when it turns into a bacterial infection, following an infection with viral influenza, that an antibiotic can be taken. Signs of a bacterial infection include: Sinus pain, earache, a sore throat and a cough that lasts longer than 7-10 days. To get better take the prescribed medication, stay in bed, drink lots of fluids and give your body time to fight the infection. Both flu and colds are contagious which means you do need to take time off work to recuperate – this will help avoid spreading the disease and with

Parenting Hub

Grade 11: The Year that TRULY holds the Keys to your future options

With mid-year exams only a few weeks away, an education expert has warned Grade 11 learners to take this year, and their preparation for it, just as seriously as Grade 12 – if not more so. “Parents, learners and even teachers mistakenly think that Matric is the most important year of schooling, yet Grade 11 is just as important and these years should not be considered as separate milestones, but rather as a 2-year event,” says Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. The reason for this is because many institutions – whether public universities or private institutions – make provisional offers for admission based on Grade 11 results, she says. Therefore, learners should give Grade 11 their best effort, and not wait until next year to throw their hats into the application ring. “Applications for university open in the March of your matric year, but because this is too early for you to have any meaningful matric marks, institutions often use the exam marks from your Grade 11 year as an indicator of your ability to succeed in the course,” says Payne. “Therefore, if you did not put enough effort into your Grade 11 exams and have the mindset that you will delay the hard work and study until Matric, you may be unpleasantly surprised to find out that it is already too late.” Payne says that many learners have in the past been disappointed when they receive rejection letters in their Matric year, which would then require them to put in even more effort to improve their marks to a level where they might have a better shot at acceptance. Additionally, learners often underestimate the difficulty of Grade 11, under the mistaken impression that the real challenges will only follow a year later. “The work is just as – if not more – challenging than Grade 12, which is often regarded as a revision year. A lot of content is delivered in Grade 11 and can become overwhelming if you don’t resolve early on to keep up and master things as soon as possible,” she says. Payne notes that higher education institutions usually give one of three replies to applications submitted based on Grade 11 marks: Provisionally accepted Waiting list Rejected “Once rejected, it is very difficult to have your application re-evaluated, even if your Grade 12 marks have improved dramatically, and especially for those courses which are in high demand,” she says. However learners whose applications in their Grade 11 year are rejected do have some options left to them, notes Payne. These include: Applying for the same or similar course at a different institution which may still have space available; Applying for a different type of qualification at the same institution, for instance instead of applying for a degree course, applying for higher certificate or diploma in the same field, or a degree qualification in a similar field, and Working on improving school marks, particularly when placed on a waiting list. “The waiting list is often a ‘cream of the crop’ selection which is applied once results are known. So  if there are 100 people on the waiting list and your marks are in the top 10, you have a better chance of being accepted,” says Payne. She warns that Grade 11 is usually not identified early enough as the year when delivery of content assessed in the Matric exams begins, and that Matric final exams often contain more Grade 11 content than that which is covered in Grade 12. “Learners will find that many of their Grade 12 months are spent practising and revising Grade 11 work. Additionally, exams throughout Grade 11 will mirror the types of assessments one can expect in the final assessment. “In addition to ensuring timeous placement in a field of study at one’s institution of choice, working hard in Grade 11 also means that learners are able to make the best of the opportunity to practise the study and exam writing skills that will allow them to give the performance of their lifetime when the Matric exams roll around.”

Parenting Hub

Refusing to Vaccinate Children could fuel rise in Antibiotic-Resistant Super-Bugs

The recent spike in measles cases in Gauteng and the Western Cape is as a direct result of parents refusing to vaccinate against the illness, which is of growing concern since the reckless habit of not vaccinating in general could fuel a rise in antibiotic-resistant superbugs, warn experts. Annemarie Blackmore, Pharma Dynamics’ Antimicrobials Portfolio Manager says vaccinating your child is paramount in the ongoing fight against antibiotic-resistant superbugs. “Antibiotic resistance is when an antibiotic has lost its ability to effectively control or kill bacterial growth and is exacerbated by the unnecessary and incorrect use of antibiotics. Vaccines have the potential to decrease disease, which can in turn reduce the need for antibiotic use,” remarks Blackmore. Many parents remain particularly sceptical of the Measles, Mumps and Rubella (MMR) vaccine, following a UK study that linked the vaccine to autism. It also sparked a wide debate on social media and raised a question around the safety of vaccines in general. Blackmore says the study has since been proven fraudulent by an investigation published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ), but the damaging effects remain, and as a result, many parents are in two minds about whether to vaccinate their children. “Contrary to these mistaken beliefs, vaccines are and will continue to play a pivotal role, and even more so in the next two to three decades, in combatting illnesses and anti-microbial resistance alike.” South Africa is still some way off in meeting its immunisation targets, which given the alarming rise in not only diseases such as measles, but superbugs in recent years, it has now become a top priority. The total immunisation coverage in the country over the 2013/2014 period stood at 84.4% according to the district health barometer by the Health Systems Trust – an NPO with a focus on improving health systems in the country. The figure points to a drop in almost ten percentage points from the 94% coverage, which was recorded the year prior, indicating a significant decline in the overall administration of vaccines. According to Blackmore there is a 30-year void in the discovery of new types of antibiotics, with no registered classes of antibiotics having been discovered since 1984, which reaffirms the importance of using what precious antibiotics we do have, responsibly. “Already AMR is estimated to kill more than 700 000 people globally per year. If not addressed, 10 million people are expected to die annually because of drug-resistance by 2050. “Everyone can and should play their part by vaccinating themselves and their loved ones against the diseases outlined in the World Health Organisation’s (WHO) expanded immunisation programme. To access this list, visit http://pharmadynamics.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/VaccinatorsManualFinal.pdf,” urges Blackmore. Measles is one of the most infectious diseases in the world and could cause brain damage, pneumonia and/or blindness. Look out for a high fever and flu-like symptoms. Two to three days in, tiny white spots may appear inside the mouth, followed by a rash, which usually starts out as tiny flat red spots on the face, neck, trunk and extremities. If you suspect your child has the measles, visit a GP or nearest clinic to you immediately.

Bill Corbett

Five Leadership Skills You Can Use at Home

Before I became a parent coach, I spent 30+ years in corporate America. I worked my way up from employee to manager to director and during that time, I had the privilege of attending numerous leadership training classes and retreats, all designed to help me build stronger and more effective teams. Today I coach many moms and dads who go to an office every day and work hard at building strong work teams and contributing to the company’s bottom line. Most of them are incredibly successful, but when they get home to their families, they seem to leave what they learned there, at the door. To help them use those same success-driven skills at home, let me offer five leadership skills that adults learn at work, that they can use at home as parents. MAKE THEM FEEL IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE.Companies have learned that the more engagement they create for their employees, the greater the productivity they get from their staff. That engagement comes in the form of helping your staff feel important and valuable. Parents can help their kids feel more important and valuable to the family by allowing them turns at leading the family meeting, having them teach the parents something they do well, having a say in family plans, and even taking turns at preparing the family meal. KEEP THEM INFORMED. The more my managers told me about the company’s intentions and plans, the more I really felt like I was a part of the team. Share age-appropriate information with your children about family plans for home improvement projects, vacation plans, or what’s happening with extended family members. Share this kind of information at a weekly or bi-monthly family meeting. BE A GREAT COACH.Your boss probably doesn’t walk into your office and write your reports or set up your appointments, so why should you do for your children what they should do for themselves. Unfortunately, too many parents do too much for their children because it’s just easier to do it for them. Teach your children how to do things for themselves and step back. Coach them for top performance as you would at the office. LEAD BY EXAMPLE.Some of the best bosses I ever had, demonstrated more through their actions than their words. If you want your children to learn how to treat others and develop relationships, examine how you demonstrate how to do that with others in front of them. If you want your children to play more, create more, and enjoy life without technology more, examine how you’re teaching them this core value by the amount technology you use. CREATE CLEARN EXPECTATIONS.I valued the performance evaluations I received at work that clearly laid out the expectations of my role. Ask yourself “What expectations are you setting for your children?” Do you talk about positive behaviors at family meetings or point them out as soon as you see them happen, or do you point out to your children what they do wrong more often?

Paarl Dietitians

Tackling the Fussy Eater

Selective eating or fussiness is a common phenomenon among toddlers, children and even adults. This may be a more serious situation than “I just can’t stand spinach”, and this may include toddlers or children who refuse food or meals altogether or limit, restrict or avoid total foods and food groups due to taste preference or anxieties. We explore causes and potential problems as well as some solutions. WHY SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED ABOUT SELECTIVE EATING AND LIMITED FOOD INTAKE? The main health concern in people with selective eating is risk of nutrient deficiencies, which happens quicker than we realise. It is very common for fussy eaters to suffer from brittle bones, iron deficiency and a poor immune system or mouth ulcers which can all be signs of nutritional deficiency. Poor dietary intake can also impact on the muscle mass, strength and energy levels of the individual. Furthermore, if it is a childhood problem, and is not dealt with, it can easily translate into an adult condition. WHEN SHOULD WE GET CONCERNED ABOUT SELECTIVE EATING AND LIMITED FOOD INTAKE? It is important to distinguish between when it is just a phase that will be overcome and when it is a rather serious situation that may need to be taken seriously and perhaps seek professional help. There are a few red flags to look out for: when less than 20 types of food are accepted when fear and anxiety is involved during eating or pertaining to food when entire food groups are rejected i.e. dairy products or meat or meat alternatives when it is causing stress and pressure in social situations when there are obvious signs of weight loss or nutritional deficiencies HOW TO TACKLE SELECTIVE EATING Put your mind at rest Anxiety over food intake and health will only make the situation worse so try to avoid it. If you have concerns about your child or loved one’s health, growth or weight due to the selective eating, send them for a health check at your GP or speak to a dietitian. If it is a recent development, be assured that it might be a passing phase. Rely on a good multi-vitamin and mineral supplement that provides 100% of the recommended daily intake of most vitamins and minerals and make sure it is cost effective and age appropriate. Keep a food diary To get more information on the quality of the diet, keep a detailed food diary of everything that was consumed for a week. Be specific about quantities, times and brand names of products. Have it analysed by a registered dietitian who often has computer software that can provide a detailed analysis. This will tell you exactly which nutrients are deficient in the diet that may need attention. Avoid the battles To fight, argue and nag is going to heighten the anxiety and make the situation worse. Try and avoid confrontation about the issue. In the case of children, they often thrive on attention, even if it is negative attention. Often if the bad behaviour or food refusal is ignored and not acknowledged, they will try something else to gain attention and the phase shall pass. Also be sure to give positive feedback when food was eaten and praise good behaviour. Avoid overcompensation and never force Do not fall into the habit of offering anything “as long as they will eat something”. Children especially, will start to accept more food if you rely on their hunger signals and not give any food they might desire. The more it becomes a manipulation tool, the harder it will be. Force feeding is strongly discouraged and will aggravate the situation. Rather remove the offending food, without an issue, and offer it at a later stage, avoiding offering a preferred option. Do not use food as a bribe or reward. Encourage frequent exposure Research shows that a food type needs to be offered around 8 to 15 times before it will be accepted. Keep offering a wide variety of food consistently without pressure, but with positive encouragement. Make meal times fun and relaxed Sometimes you have to be creative and pull out all the stops to make meal times fun and pleasant. Have a food fight in the garden, involve your child in cooking and baking, and make interesting shapes and fun food presentation. Have meal times together as a family. Set a good example for your children. About 20 – 30% of children have this issue at some point, so do not feel excluded or isolated if this is what is happening to you. If it becomes unmanageable, seek professional help before it all spirals out of control.

Milk Galore

The Joys of Breastfeeding

On this months letter we would to share some benefits of breastfeeding, correct positioning, soreness and tenderness. “A baby nursing at a mother’s breast is an undeniable affirmation of our rootedness in nature.” David Suzuki Benefits of breastfeeding The nutrient balance in a mother’s milk is just right for her baby as he/she grows. There are at least 12 anti-inflammatory agents in breastmilk which promote a healthy immune system. Immunoglobulin-A in colostrum protects the baby against intestinal infection. Lactoferrin prevents the growth of pathogenic organisms. Breastfeeding decreases the risk of childhood asthma, bacterial infections, diarrhoea and allergies. Breastfeeding has been linked to improved dental hygiene and speech development. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast, ovarian and endometrial cancers in mothers. Breastfeeding mothers return to their pre-pregnancy weight sooner than their bottle feeding counterparts. Correct positioning Both mother and baby should be comfortable. Baby should be chest to chest, at the level of the breast, with mother’s arm well supported by pillows. Mother should support the breast, but avoid lifting. Hold the breast with one hand and the baby with the other. Once the baby has opened the mouth wide enough, swiftly bring the baby to the breast. Soreness v/s Tenderness Soreness Caused by poor latch, incorrect positioning or bad alignment. Correct feeding techniques should be learned. Use ointment (sparingly and only on the sore area). Start the feeding on the least sore side. Tenderness Slight tenderness is normal. Initial discomfort with latch should not last more than 30 seconds, max 60 seconds. Mother should be encouraged to air-dry her breast. Use of different positions may decrease tenderness. Blisters, “lipstick” shape of the nipples, redness or any bleeding is not normal. At the end of the feeding, nipples should be round and slightly elongated. Hold the baby more closely with more of areola in the mouth. A Note from the establishers of Milk Galore brand:  As a mom myself who struggled to breastfeed my son my option was formula milk of which was not my desired option as I wanted the best for my son. We then researched natural stimulators that would assist not only a 1sttime mom like myself who was struggling to feed her baby but all mothers who faced the same struggle. We at Milk Galore understand and have a heart for both the mom and the newly born. The natural instinct and incredible feeling when a mom breastfeeds is a precious gift a mom can give her baby. Our desire is to ensure that all mothers have that privilege of sharing that gift with their newly borns. Milk Galore has a solution that has incorporated natural herbs that may assist to stimulate lactation for breastfeeding women. It is rich in iron and thus very good for lactating mothers since they are more in need of iron than others. Moreover, cumin is said to help ease and increase secretion of milk in lactating women due to presence of Thymol, which tends to increase secretions from glands, including milk which is a secretion from mammary glands. Milk Galore products can be bought online www.milkgalore.co.za

BabyLegends Hugseez

What is Reflux?

Reflux is a very common problem in tiny babies.  It is also known as possetting or spitting up and happens when milk that has been ingested travels back up through the oesophagus or food pipe. Babies also have stomach acids that are necessary for the breaking down of food.  When you feed your baby milk, the mixture of acid and milk can be regurgitated and can make baby very uncomfortable.  If you’ve ever suffered from heart-burn, then you know what it feels like. A Baby Wrap Carrier can prove to be incredibly handy to help alleviate reflux as it allows your baby to be in a comfortable upright position with no added pressure on his or her little tummy. When baby is feeling uncomfortable and a little stressed, carrying him or her in a Baby Wrap Carrier, helps to soothe and calm baby. Whilst reflux is messy and can be very frustrating, it is also very normal and at least 40% of babies suffer from this problem.  Up to 5% of babies can have as many as six or more episodes a day.  However, it is a temporary problem that usually gets better as baby grows and their digestive system matures.  A very small percentage of babies have what is known as severe or persistent reflux (gastro-oesophageal reflux disease or GORD).  Should you at any time believe that you baby falls within this percentage, we would highly recommend setting your mind at rest with a visit to your paediatrician. To understand the cause of reflux, you need to bear in mind that your baby’s stomach is very small at birth and grows bigger quite slowly as baby grows.  Baby’s food pipe (oesophagus) connects the little mouth to the little stomach at the bottom of which there is a valve that is controlled by a ring of muscle.  Sometimes as baby’s tummy becomes full with milk, the little valve doesn’t stay properly closed and allows some of the mixture of milk and stomach acid to move back up the food pipe.  We would caution against adding cereal to make baby’s milk thicker as there is no scientific proof that this helps with reflux.  Once again, if you are unsure, consult your doctor first. Reflux can be prevented in a number of ways : Feed your baby in an upright position  Hold baby upright for about 20 or 30 minutes after each feed  Put baby in a baby wrap carrier after each feed Try giving baby smaller, but more frequent feeds For bottle fed babies, burp every two or three minutes during feeds and also make sure that the hole in the teat isn’t too large.  A teat that’s too big can cause milk to come out too fast which in turn makes baby gulp, swallowing air and exacerbating reflux Try raising the top of baby’s cot by putting a flat pillow under the mattress and whilst your baby should still sleep on his or her back, it may help if their little head is slightly higher than their feet

Doug Berry

Owning How We Feel

Recently, I reviewed an article I found online after a very serious discussion evolved from one of my lectures with some B.A. students, about the way others can activate our emotional response. What follows is a summary of the essence of this train of thought and I find it unendingly useful. Have you ever blamed another for how you feel? Uttered the words “They upset me” or “S/he made me angry!”? For a reader to say no, with complete truth would be rare! For most of us, it is commonplace and simply the way we have been taught to experience our emotions – by attributing them to the actions of another individual or group. Is it really the case though, that another person has made us feel a certain way, or is it possible that instead, their actions have evoked an emotional response in us? The differentiation can be subtle, until we look a bit deeper into it! Owning our emotions makes so much sense that it has become necessary to incorporate it into daily life. At first thought, taking responsibility for your own emotions is a recipe for crushing your self-esteem, and amplifying your negative feelings. It threatens our ego to stop pointing at others and start looking inward as the only authors of our own destiny. We spend a lot of time focussing on and preparing for positive experiences, whether it be in love, life or career. Yet it is inevitable that every now and then we will experience negative emotion in our interactions with others. Take a look at an example: you meet somebody and start having an intimate relationship with him or her. Everything is wonderful, your life seems much happier than before, and you enjoy some weeks or months of elation and deep connection with your partner. But alas, after a relatively short time, something unexpected happens. The person you were feeling such a beautiful resonance with, suddenly starts to be distant, cold, without any apparent reason. After a few days, he or she abruptly decides to put an end to your relationship – without any logical explanation. You fall down from heaven to the hard, cold ground in a matter of days. You feel empty, neglected … and most likely, angry. How could this person treat you like that? Isn’t it clearly his or her fault if you’re feeling the way you do now? Isn’t his behaviour the obvious cause of your miserable situation? The answer is “no”, but maybe that requires some explanation. In any interaction between conscious, adult human beings, each one is responsible for their own emotions. This does not mean that it is your “fault” if you feel sad or angry: there is an enormous difference between fault and responsibility. “Fault” means that you are wrong, and that you should fix yourself to conform to some external standard of goodness or strength. “Responsibility”, on the other hand, means that you are a fully conscious, powerful and self-determined human being, who takes merit for his own successes and happiness, and responsibility for his own failures and shortcomings. Blaming others for your negative feelings actually makes you seem powerless to avoid them: the only way you can get better, is by changing the other person’s behaviour by force, plea, or manipulation. Conversely, when you accept that every emotion arises inside you because you allow it, you open the door to the possibility of feeling better thanks to yourself. In this light, modifying your patterns of behaviour is not a matter of fixing a broken thing, but rather of consciously choosing to evolve – to change for the better, to attain more harmony and connection for you and everyone around you. So much of our energy goes wasted into blaming others for our own unhappiness – with scarce results, since most people don’t react well to blame. It is both easier and more effective to recognize that we are the authors of our own lives, although we often need the help of others to develop this.

The Heart & Stroke Foundation

Tobacco smoking threatens childhood development

Smoking in SA – the good and bad by numbers Smoking rates in South Africa have decreased from 33% to 21%, largely thanks to effective legislation and taxation. However, the decline in smoking has plateaued over the last decade, and South Africans still smoke too much – with nearly 8 million adults lighting up 27 billion cigarettes every year. Smoking prevalence remains the highest in the Western Cape, where 42% of men and 1 in 4 women still smoke#. “Smoking increases your risk for heart attacks and stroke, lung cancer, pneumonia and emphysema – and also doubles your risk of tuberculosis. 50% of smokers will die early –  14 years earlier on average – from a smoking related disease”, says Prof Richard van Zyl-Smit of the UCT Lung Institute. Smoking habits often start young and children of smokers are more likely to start smoking themselves. The latest South African Global Youth Tobacco Survey reports that 17% of grade 8 – 11 learners smoke cigarettes regularly. A more recent study found similar figures amongst Western Cape University Students, with the use of waterpipes, commonly known as a hubbly bubbly or hookah, rapidly increasing. “Perhaps the most worrying finding is that 66% of high school learners don’t feel confident enough to ask someone not to smoke around them. These highlights just how vulnerable even a 17-year-old is to second-hand smoking,” says Dorothy Du Plooy, CANSA’s General Manager, Southern Business Unit. Tragically, the damage inflicted by second-hand smoking starts about 18 years earlier. The devastating effects of second-hand smoking on unborn and young children “The consequences of second hand smoking around infants and even unborn children are well known. Tobacco affects foetal development, increasing the risk of stillbirths, miscarriages, premature birth, certain congenital malformations, poor foetal growth, and sudden infant death syndrome.” Says Prof Tony Westwood, Head of paediatrics at Somerset Hospital, Western Cape Department of Health. This negative impact of parental smoking was illustrated again specifically here in the Western Cape, in the Drakenstein study. Researchers confirmed that 250 mothers-to-be were smokers by blood test, and could compare them with non-smoking mothers. Infants of mothers who smoked, or who lived in smoking households, already had nicotine in their blood at birth. Infants of smoking mothers were more likely to be small at birth, to develop pneumonia, and have poor lung function and reduces lung volume in their first year of life**. “This study reminds us of some of the early adverse effects of second-hand smoking. Repetitive exposure over many years will result in more and more damage which can lead to intellectual impairment, poor linear growth, learning disorders, ear infections, poor lung function causing the child to be more likely to get severe pneumonia, asthma, and other developmental problems”, explains Prof Westwood. The CEO of HSFSA, Prof Pamela Naidoo, elaborates, “Parents and caregivers have to play an active role in discouraging the onset of smoking.” She continues, “ultimately a lifetime of smoking or second-hand smoking leads to cancer, lung disease, heart diseases and strokes. Childhood tobacco exposure could mean these diseases set in at a much earlier age than otherwise expected. As South Africa’s burden of lifestyle diseases continue to increase, stopping smoking has never been more important.” Tobacco breaks the budget Tobacco can also indirectly hamper development in children – by robbing a household of several hundred Rand a month. In doing so, tobacco perpetuates the cycle of poverty as the poorest people spend less of their income on essentials such as food, education and health care. “The financial benefits of quitting come from direct and indirect cost savings. A packet a day amounts to R12 000 per year, excluding interest. The cost savings from averting pneumonia, developmental delays, heart disease, emphysema, and early retirement are far greater,” added Dorothy Du Plooy from CANSA. Whilst the tobacco industry remains a hugely profitable sector, the economic benefits for the country don’t add up either. Tobacco hinders economic growth, strains the healthcare system, worsens health inequalities, exacerbates poverty, and impacts on productivity in the workplace. In addition, growing tobacco instead of other crops has negative consequences on our environment and for sustainable agriculture. Tobacco production requires large amounts of toxic pesticides and fertilizers, contribute to deforestation and climate change, and produces over 2 million tonnes of solid waste every year, reports the World Health Organization. Be the change – let’s protect our children together All adults have a responsibility to respect the health of those around them. This never seems more important than when the health of children is at risk. For World No-Tobacco-Day 2017 the Western Cape Tobacco Task Force makes four simple requests to the public, including non-smokers: 1.    Smoke somewhere else Parents who choose to smoke, please do not smoke in the same room or near your children. Doing this does lasting and increasing damage on your son or daughter’s health. Rather smoke in another room, outside or have a no-smoking-in-the-house policy. Smoking in your car with a child younger than 12 years of age is also illegal. 2.    Mothers and mothers-to-be should seek help to quit Women trying to fall pregnant, already pregnant, or breastfeeding should actively seek help to stop smoking during this important period. “The first 1000 days of a child’s life, from conception to the child’s second birthday, is the best opportunity to make a difference and we need to empower mothers and fathers during this time and beyond”, says Maureen McCrea, Deputy Director Health Promotion from the Western Cape Department of Health. 3.    Smoking less is (also) more Many people have tried unsuccessfully to stop smoking or are still trying to do so. It is important to remember that smoking less is also success, and every cigarette less per day means less damage to you, and the children around you. 4.    Know your rights and speak up Be aware of the smoking legislation. ‘It is illegal to sell tobacco to anyone below the age of 18; to smoke in a car with a child younger than 12 years of

BLM Photography

How to take better photos of your family

Sometimes it rains just enough to dirty your car.  Inevitably the rain arrives right after you’ve washed it.  Sometimes there just isn’t time or energy to get it cleaned and more often than not the serenity and cleanliness of your car seems to be a holy grail that is perfectly impossible since your kids arrived on the scene.  Let’s be honest keeping your car clean all the time is impossible. And so is stopping your kiddies from growing up. I don’t often spend much time in traffic given that I work from home but recently I’ve been doing a lot of driving and it occurred to me, while inching forward in a long line of Gauteng rain dirtied cars, that keeping your car clean is kind of like trying to stop your children from getting older.  Every time you think you’ve caught up and have finally come to terms with their last stage they develop some more.  You can’t believe they’re so grown up and you are left wondering where the time has gone. So do you stop to appreciate and record each passing phase? Many of us want to but don’t get around to it and some of us are looking for the perfect opportunity to do so.  We tell ourselves we’ll wait for the warmer/cooler weather to take some family photos, or WHEN little one gets rid of the dummy or we’ll schedule a photo shoot WHEN I’ve lost 5kilos.  Sound familiar? It doesn’t take a lot of effort to come up with a long list of excuses why we are not ready.  The truth is that there is never the perfect time.  The best time is right now.  We need to be taking photos of our family right now. So here are a few tips on how to take better photos of your family…. Light is key.  What’s happening with the LIGHT?  Is there enough light?  Or maybe too much?  Is the light coming from the direction that’s going to make the best photo?  Don’t be afraid to move your subject to increase or decrease the amount and direction of light.  Light is a make or break element so embrace it and use it to enhance your photos. Take a look at what’s going to be in other parts of your photo.  Sometimes we are so focused on our subject that we don’t even notice something that might be distracting in the photo, like a T-Rex in a bright red T-shirt eating an ice cream on the other side of the tree that your son is leaning against.   We usually only notice it when it’s too late to take the photo again – face palm moment.  If you find something that bothers you wait for it to pass or move away or change your angle so that you don’t have the distraction in the background. Is my photo telling the full story? When you look back on the moment through the photo YOU may remember that your daughter was putting the doll’s tea set in the dishwasher but if the dishwasher isn’t part of the photo then the full story is not being told to someone who wasn’t there.  Take close ups for sure but remember to tell the story with your photos. You are a part of the family too.  YOU should also be in the photos.  I know I’m a little (ok alot) self-conscious when it comes to being in photos.  A professional photographer will be able to use posing and positioning to make you look at your best.  That’s our job.  But you can apply some of our tricks with no effort at all.  First thing for the ladies to remember is to never face your body directly on to the camera.  Turn a little so that your body is angled slightly towards the camera and then turn your head so that you are looking at the camera.  Then push your weight onto your hip that’s furthest from the camera.  And voila!  You look thinner already.  And be careful not to lift your chin to try and avoid that double chin.  It results in a very unflattering angle for your face.  Rather push your chin forwards, away from your neck, and then a little down.  No double chin, just a great chin line.  With a little practice in front of the mirror you’ll see just what a difference this makes. Schedule a session with a professional photographer every now and then so that you have some really special photos that you are all present in.  It’s really good for self-esteem, especially in kids, to regularly see photos of everyone together.  Choose the right photographer for you and have fun. Above all don’t delay in taking photos of your family …because our kids keep growing and changing…just like our cars always need washing!

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