Advice Column - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

The 6 Skills your child needs more than stranger danger

It is probably the worst fear of any parent – that their child might be kidnapped or molested. It’s the stuff of our nightmares and the kind of movies you can never watch again once you’ve had your own kids. The whole idea sends such waves of terror running through us that we inadvertently teach our kids the very thing that is likely to make them a victim – fear itself. You see, pedophiles are predators, and predators look for the weakest link. Their eyes are peeled for the timid child – the one who is afraid and nervous and wary: The child who acts like prey. They don’t want to get involved with a child who will voice their opinion or dislike strongly, they don’t want to hassle with a child who can’t be manipulated, the definitely aren’t going to try to prime a fighter. When we teach children stranger danger we are teaching them to act like victims. I suggest that we rather empower our children with life skills that are not appealing to predators. Instead of filling our children with fear, let us rather teach them to: 1. Carry themselves with confidence: How does your child feel about him/herself? We teach confidence by allowing children to do things for themselves, by giving them independence, by describing their achievements without praising them, by acknowledging their struggles without jumping in to do things for them, by allowing children to make choices. Ensure that your child gets their daily dose of love and attention – hugs, kisses, kind words, time together. A child whose needs are not being met is much more vulnerable. 2. Have body integrity:Children need to know that their body is theirs and nobody gets to do anything to it without their consent. As parents we need to step back sometimes and see how often we give them the opposite message – insisting on washing them, brushing their hair, forcibly dressing them, insisting that they hug/kiss relatives. We have to start respecting our child’s right to refuse these things. It’s a hard pill to swallow as a parent and it isn’t always easy to trust that they will not grow up filthy with a permanent bird’s nest and no manners. Body integrity has to start at home and if we don’t respect this we are already priming them for other people disrespecting their bodies. 3. Trust their instincts:Our brains receive so much more information on an unconscious level than we ever become aware of consciously. We’ve all had those moments when we feel that something is not right and it turns out to be so. We can’t explain how we knew, we just did. That is the power of responding to subtle cues from the unconscious mind. We need to teach our children to tune into this wisdom and to trust it. We do this by listening to them when they say they don’t feel like doing something, or respecting them when they don’t want to be around a particular person, or even allowing them choice in what they eat (and knowing that their inner wisdom knows better than you what is good for them on this particular day). 4. Voice their opinion:Children need to know that “no” means “no” and the only way to learn this is if we allow them to say it and respect them when they do. If you ask your child to share their toys or eat their dinner or give you a lick of their ice cream and they say “no” then no means no. Children need to know that their voice is as important and as relevant and as respected as any adult’s voice. They learn this by being given opportunities to talk, being included in family decisions, being really listened to when they have a problem or want to share something. It is very challenging raising a strong-willed child, but that trait that we dislike so much is the very trait that can save their lives one day. 5. Know what to do in an emergency: Rather than teaching stranger danger, focus on strategies for what to do in certain situations. For example, what do you do if you lose your mom in the shopping centre? My strategy with my kids was that they should find a woman with a baby or child and ask for help. What do you do if someone that you don’t know asks you to come and see their new puppies? First check with your mom if it is ok to go along. What do you do if someone touches your body without your permission? Tell an adult, scream for help etc. The best way to teach these skills is to play role playing games or even use puppets or toys to act out different scenarios. Let your kids come up with ideas for what they would do and then discuss these with them. We must also be careful in our daily lives with our kids that we don’t mistakenly give the impression that screaming and making a scene are never appropriate – sometimes they are essential and kids need to know that they can try this out. 6. Be able to defend themselves:I honestly believe that every child should have some martial arts or self-defense training in their lives. Knowing how to handle ourselves in difficult situations gives us the kind of confidence that is very off-putting to predators. It also gives children the added advantage of having the element of surprise in a dangerous situation. Hopefully your children will never need to use these skills, but if they ever do, then it is better to have some skills than none. And then, of course, we need to calm our own fears so that our children are not picking up on our nervousness and belief that the world is essentially a bad place. Of course we need to be alert and awake as parents to potential dangers, but we also need to

November 9, 2017

Collaborative Learning

by Prof Rita Niemann Gerlach (2004) explained that collaborative learning is in essence a natural social act, implying talking about and discussing topics, which results in learning. In applying collaborative learning in terms of an educational approach, it means learners working together to solve problems or challenges in order to complete a task. How can collaborative learning contribute to the learning process? Collaborative learning can contribute to the learning process if the following elements are catered for: Some tips for effective collaborative learning Constituting the group Ideal size: 4-5 learners. Set up the groups prior to assigning the tasks. Place groups in a way to optimise collaboration (e.g. around a table). Assigning the task Plan meticulously (e.g. the purpose, handouts, resources, etc.). Use real-world problems to stimulate problem-solving and critical thinking skills. Link emerging ideas to the purpose and objectives of the tasks. Allow sufficient time. Align tasks to the learners’ experiences, access to resources, skills, etc. Present task in a visible manner. Group member interaction Allow for questions, if learners are not clear about what is expected from them. Insist on proper behaviour. Set ground rules for how groups have to operate. Account for the diversity in and between groups, Assign roles to the members of the group or allow the groups to assign their own roles. Determine whether the team members have the required resources or allow for sharing resources. A group name or logo builds group cohesion. Allow for ample communication between members. Allow learners to conduct research/explore options to solve a challenge/conduct an activity. Allow for applying their own ideas. Facilitator’s role Have incentives/rewards to excite members to accomplish their goals. Include an element of competition. Monitor the groups’ progress, but do not interfere with their work. Let groups give feedback (orally or in a written form). Give constructive feedback on what worked well and where learners were on the right track and make suggestions for improvement. Allow learners to reflect on their group experiences. Discuss/present the outcome/s to get critique. Support learners who fall behind. The usage of technology should be considered (e.g. chats).

November 9, 2017

Early School Years Crucial for Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in a Child

Of the twelve years that children spend at school, the foundation phase – years one through four – are the most critical for cementing the long-term potential of children and enabling them to become successful adults, an education expert says. “It goes without saying that academic excellence is important, but developing children’s emotional intelligence may literally make the difference between success and failure in their lives,” says Chris Van Niekerk, head at Founders Hill College, part of Africa’s largest private education provider, ADvTECH. He says that when undertaking the important task of investigating schooling options, parents and guardians should consider more than the academic or sporting achievements and track record of a school, and also enquire about a school’s approach to instilling vital life skills. “Nurturing emotional intelligence should be considered as important as teaching children to read, write and do arithmetic – if not more – and schools, parents and communities have a duty to ensure this fundamental life skill is not left by the wayside,” he says. Van Niekerk says the younger the age at which children acquire these insights and skills, the better. “It’s in years one to four that children learn to love learning; learn about a world that challenges and rewards; and learn what makes them who they are: unique human beings who hold a wealth of potential and who can do anything they put their hearts and minds into. “It is during these years that these skills become part of the child’s character and personality: guiding their decisions, helping them make sense of the world, and being the foundation of their relationships with others. Starting with five-year-olds is the best place to start.” Emotional intelligence can be described as a set of softer skills that help children grow up to become “likeable”, successful human beings who can accept that not everybody in the world is going to be like you, agree with you or think like you. More than this, it’s understanding that this diversity is not only good and desirable, but to be celebrated and embraced. “It’s learning how to give and take: to compromise and to negotiate. It’s learning to relate to others: to empathise and communicate your own feelings in a situation. It’s learning to listen to what other people say, and how to speak your own mind. It’s acquiring the skills and the confidence to articulate your feelings and ideas, and it’s learning to identify what it is, exactly, that makes you respond the way you do to people and situations around you. Critically, it’s learning how to manage those feelings, instead of letting them manage you.” Van Niekerk says that emotional intelligence skills aren’t ones that can be taught in lesson slots on the timetable. Instead, they should form part of all interactions, whether they be during academic, social or physical activities. Additionally, provision should be made for assisting children who show signs of needing early intervention to reach emotional intelligence milestones. “Success cannot only be measured academically and professionally. It is measured by the quality of our relationships, and by our ability to lead meaningful, effective lives,” he says.

November 9, 2017

Exams: Study Time vs Screen Time – Striking the Balance

Helping children to build a healthy relationship with technology, and knowing how much of what is enough, is challenging for parents under the best of circumstances. Exam time however throws a whole new spanner in the works, an education expert warns. “While some parents might want to introduce new house rules or impose a total ban on screen time during important periods such as exams, that approach could be counter-productive,” says Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. “However it is necessary to review and agree on how devices and especially social media will be used during this period,” she says, “and parents and guardians should play an active role in assisting young people to strike the right balance.” Payne warns that parents will face a lot of resistance if they implement a total ban on social media interaction, which will not be conducive to a positive studying environment. “Matric and other exams are already very stressful, and social media can help learners and students unwind and let off steam by sharing their concerns, clearing up study material confusion and encouraging each other. “A better approach would be to rather restrict social media during focussed 1-2 hour study sessions so concentration is not interrupted, and allow it during breaks – preferably away from the desk – in conjunction with a healthy snack and some fresh air.” Payne says that in general, parents should assist their children to build a healthy relationship with technology from an early age, noting that technology has become an integral part of children’s lives. “While there are of course dangers and concerns, technology has also brought many advantages and opportunities. Our children need to build a set of skills – hard skills and common sense ones – around technology as it will always be a huge part of their lives, whether when researching school work, investigating higher education options or searching for career opportunities, or whether for entertainment or engaging with social media contacts.” She says that approaching technology positively and pragmatically right from the start can help families engage better. “It can improve their resourcefulness, open up new avenues for learning and help them better understand how to manage social interactions. Parents need to be honest about their own concerns and should support and mentor their children by creating the right environment in the online world, as they would in the offline world. “Encourage the learning, whether it is online or offline, but set boundaries and time limits on digital engagement, study methods (which should also include pen and paper and not just digital learning) and also digital social interactions during exam time. There are thousands of mobile apps and software applications that support learning in a fun and constructive way, and that can ensure that study time is in fact study time, and not Facebook time in disguise.” Payne says there are 4 simple things parents can do to ensure healthy technology habits for life: Create and schedule fun offline activities and spaces where the family can interact without technology. Spend time with your younger children sharing your “tech time”. You can sit with them and create study notes or play an educational game together. This form of interaction can open up interesting discussions, in a natural way, and not feel like it is a forced conversation. The interest you show in your young child’s technology interactions will build a feeling of trust between yourselves and technology will be seen as a constructive tool for learning. Respect your children’s privacy. This could be as simple as asking for their permission before you share and tag pictures of them online. If they don’t want you to do it, then respect their wishes. Set boundaries (which the adults need to adhere to as well), for instance not interacting with technology during dinner or if someone is talking to you. “Parents need to embrace our changed world and work with their children to encourage a balance between technology and the physical world,” says Payne.

November 6, 2017

When to supplement your child’s diet

Children come in all shapes and sizes. But if you’re noticing that your child is shorter than her friends at school, it’s natural to wonder, “is my child growing normally?” Most children take well to eating solids for the very first time. Being naturally inquisitive, children will try a variety of gloopy and colourful tastes and textures. Unfortunately, as babies become toddlers, their tastes in foods begin to change dramatically. As parents, this period may be particularly stressful leaving you worried about whether or not your child’s diet adequately meets their growing needs. This is a greater concern if your child is growing more slowly than their peers. Therefore, it is important to know what the ‘norm’ is when it comes to your child’s growth and development. Registered dietitian Abigail Courtenay has answered a few questions commonly asked by moms. What are the consequences of undernutrition/ underweight¹ ²: Being underweight interferes with optimal growth and development as it is often related to nutrient deficiencies. Specific nutrients are required to support your child’s cognitive health, immunity and physical development. What are the causes for slow growth? There are many factors that could lead to slow growth namely: Poor appetite (this may also occur in healthy children) Acute or chronic illness Restrictive eating due to illness (like allergies) or misinformation Poor absorption (e.g. coeliac disease) Chewing or swallowing difficulties (e.g. children with cerebral palsy) What is considered normal eating behaviour? You can safely assume that children gaining weight appropriately according to their growth chart are getting enough to eat (even if you believe they should be eating more). Children from the ages of 3-5 years have demonstrated the ability to self-regulate their energy intake. Your child’s appetite will depend on a variety of factors such as level of tiredness, activity levels and growth spurts. Some children experience what is known as a food ‘jag’. This is when a child gets fixated on a certain type of food or food group and refuses all other foods. It is not clear how long these food jags last but often a child’s overall nutritional status is not affected by them. ¹ What can I do to help my child enjoy food more¹? Offer a variety of nutritious foods Repeat exposure to foods (sometimes it can take up to 15 repeated exposures before a food is liked/ tolerated) Scheduled meal and snack times (this makes eating a routine and assists in managing your child’s nutritional needs) Provide more frequent but smaller meals Be your child’s role model for healthy eating (i.e. eat healthy foods yourself!) Remove distractions at mealtimes (i.e. TV, tablets and phones) What should I avoid doing¹? Don’t force or pressurise your child to eat Don’t prepare separate or special meals for your child Don’t give rewards for trying new foods Why shouldn’t I force or pressurise my child to eat? Pressuring young children to eat may cause overeating, which may lead to excessive weight gain, or may cause them to actually eat even less as a result of the stress. Either way, pressuring children to eat may upset your child’s natural appetite control system, resulting in them ignoring their internal hunger and satiety cues. ¹ When should I consider supplementation (in the form of a nutritional drink)? If you are concerned about your child’s diet, observe slow growth patterns, or if your child is falling behind in height and weight, this could be a good opportunity to introduce a drink-type nutritional supplementation*. Drinks are often well tolerated by most children and can be made into fun and tasty snacks using a variety of flavours like hot chocolate or fruit puree. Drinks are preferential because they are easier to consume in-between meals, more than food, and may be more acceptable and manageable to a child. * PediaSure® is a tasty and convenient nutritional drink that can be used to supplement a child’s diet during these times. By giving two glasses of PediaSure® to your little one (as an early intervention) per day, you can support their nutritional status, promote healthy growth and normal development. ³ References and notes: Practice-based Evidence in Nutrition: Toddler and Preschool Nutrition – Influences on Appetite and Eating Behaviour. Key Practice Points. Last Updated: 2016-04-01. Mahan KL, Escott-Stump S. Krause’s Food and Nutrition Therapy. 12th edition. Philadelphia: Elsevier/Saunders Publishing. Huynh DTT, Estorninos E, Capeding RZ, et al. Longitudinal growth and health outcomes in nutritionally as-risk children who received long-term nutritional intervention. J Hum Nutr Diet. 2015; doi: 10.1111/jhn.12306: 1-13.

November 3, 2017

Is our knowledge about dyslexia dated? What is the contemporary view?

“According to popular belief, dyslexia is a brain disorder which causes otherwise smart and intelligent children to struggle with reading, spelling and writing,” explains Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programmes at Edublox. “The problem is that a lack of education about dyslexia has caused many myths that discourage parents the moment they hear of the dreaded word.” The term ‘dyslexia’ originated in 1884 and was coined by the German ophthalmologist, Rudolf Berlin. It comes from the Greek words ‘dys’ meaning ill or difficult and ‘lexis’ meaning word. Since then, researchers across a variety of disciplines have tried to understand the causes and possible solutions for the problem. “Instead of viewing the collective research in its entirety, we tend to catch bits and pieces. Some of our beliefs about it date back to times before modern-day technology and research revealed the good news about dyslexia,” Susan continues. In a nutshell, some of these misguided beliefs include: The brain of dyslexics differs from poor readers with low IQs; These brain differences are the cause of dyslexia; A host of famous individuals such as Albert Einstein, Walt Disney and Hans Christian Andersen were dyslexic; There is no remedy for dyslexia. One source states it quite bluntly: “Dyslexia is like alcoholism, it can never be cured.” * Susan explains that contemporary research sheds doubt on some of these old beliefs. With the rise of modern fMRI-scanning technology which allowed neuroscientists to explore the human brain in more depth than ever before, old myths about dyslexia have been debunked. Neuroplasticity is a field of study that is significantly influencing the grasp that we have on dyslexia. According to research conducted in this field, the human brain has the ability reorganise itself by forming new connections throughout a person’s life. The findings from a variety of recent studies contradict earlier beliefs in the following ways: Using brain imaging scans, neuroscientist John D. E. Gabrieli at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that there was no difference between the way poor readers with or without dyslexia think while reading. ** In a study, published online in the Journal of Neuroscience, researchers analysed the brains of children with dyslexia and compared them with two other groups of children: an age-matched group without dyslexia and a group of younger children who had the same reading level as the children with dyslexia. Although the children with dyslexia had less grey matter than age-matched children without dyslexia, they had the same amount of grey matter as the younger children at the same reading level. Lead author Anthony Krafnick said this suggests that the brain differences appear to be a consequence of reading experience and not a cause of dyslexia. *** Studies of the biographies of Einstein, Disney and Andersen and many other “famous dyslexics” reveal little resemblance with individuals who are currently labelled dyslexic. For example, Einstein was reading Darwin’s writings at age thirteen. “The myth of these ‘famous dyslexics’ has been perpetuated by advocacy groups over many years to keep dyslexia in the lime light,” says Susan.“The problem is that myths like these distract from the scientific study of the field and subtly hints that it can only be okay to have dyslexia if a string of famous people also struggled with it, while that is not the case.” The belief that dyslexia cannot be overcome is deeply rooted in the theory that the brain cannot change. Today we know that the human brain is a powerhouse. New connections can form and the internal structure of the existing connection can change. Susan has been extensively involved in research on the subject of reading difficulties over the last 25 years, and has made a few observations that may give South African parents hope. “At Edublox, we believe that dyslexia is not a DISability but simply an INability. While there are other causes, the most common cause of dyslexia is that the foundational skills of reading and spelling have not been mastered properly. Massive strides can be made when children’s cognitive deficits are addressed, and have seen we have seen amazing results with this approach.” Javier Guardiola, author of the research paper, ‘The evolution of research on dyslexia’ applauds contemporary research and how it has contributed to our understanding of the subject. “Dyslexia is currently an interdisciplinary field of study, involving disciplines as varied as education and neurobiology. Researchers hope that the answers to this complex learning disability lie in the intersection of all these disciplines,” he writes. **** “To create awareness about dyslexia, we need to keep abreast of the latest research and what this means for our children. As parents, we need to keep looking for solutions and support systems that will help us tackle the symptoms associated with dyslexia. And the good news is there has never been a better time in the history of the field,” concludes Susan.

November 3, 2017

Gap Year: Benefits of working at a summer camp

Making a career choice at the age of seventeen and committing to it for a lifetime is a pivotal decision that comes with a lot of pressure. However, times have evolved and we are no longer restricted to working one specific profession for the rest of our career. During a staff training meeting held at Sugar Bay Resort, young adults were given a career guiding lecture by the Director, Zoe Ellender, who said, “Unlike in the past, you no longer have to serve in one position at one company until you retire and get yourself a golden watch for your services. These days, you are allowed to change your career choice as many times as you want to. The diversity in occupation allows for a variation in skills, which plays a significant role in creating outstanding résumés.” Her encouraging discussion with the youngsters opened their minds to realize that it really is okay to make the wrong decisions and start over, as nothing goes to waste. She also explained the importance of taking a gap year and not rushing into a career choice, especially, if you are doubtful. Ellender shared her story of how she spent her college years working long hours to obtain her Law Degree, and one day realized that it simply wasn’t for her. “I looked around one day and realized that everyone around me was miserable. All we had to deal with as lawyers were people’s problems. This wasn’t a happy environment,” said Ellender. Soon enough, Ellender realised her dream to run an American-styled kids camp, a place that was happy and safe for children in a way that also nurtured their development. Ellender quit her career as a lawyer, and her husband Nicholas, who was an engineer at the time did the same. Together, they worked to build their dream, which is now a running success sixteen years on. Members of her audience were given the opportunity to share their experiences. Here’s what some of them had to say: “Sugar Bay appealed to me as an ideal place to work, build experience in working with young people and at the same time learn to be responsible, develop myself and gain life experiences. Sugar Bay is a great place to learn during a gap year. On both my previous visits, the counselors were true role models and I was inspired by them to be the happiest and most positive version of myself that I could be. They were always super positive and uplifting. They are also easy to relate to and I have been able to do so in my short time here. I feel Sugar Bay can be a great place for many adults.” – Emilio (high school graduate – Sandton) “I had left school and always wanted to take a gap year, but didn’t know what to do. I ended up applying to varsity and got accepted for B. Com. Marketing which was something I was excited to do. However, two years into studying, I found myself extremely bored and unmotivated, with no interest in continuing. So, this year, I set out looking into summer camps in America, and while doing this, I came across Sugar Bay. I sent my application and got accepted. Before arriving at Sugar Bay, I found it extremely hard to step out of my comfort zone and was very scared of change. After 3 weeks of being at camp, I have seen my confidence grow; my ability to approach change has grown and is also still growing with every passing day. I wake up every morning excited to take on a new day working with the children at camp. I feel that the children and the counselors are the reason why I have grown while working at Sugar Bay. I am loving every day here and I am extremely happy I have found something that interests me.” – Rourke (high school graduate – Johannesburg) Many youngsters between the ages of eighteen and twenty-six join Sugar Bay during their gap year as a camp counselor often in pursuit of becoming a camp counselor in the United States, or as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and what passion and skills might warrant a future career. The two-week staff training program allows young adults to not only gain experience working with children, but they will also be trained in Emergency First Aid and CPR, as well as be introduced to child psychology, theory and practice of teaching, activity instruction and leadership training. The significance of this experience is that it allows young adults to learn more about their strengths and weaknesses while preparing them for making important career decisions. For more information about being a camp counselor at Sugar Bay Camp, and about the application process please visit www.sugarbay.co.za/work-for-us, or email [email protected].

November 1, 2017

Review: Akiki’s Story Books

What a lovely set of story books set in the heart of Africa. We all enjoy reading to our children and what better way to educate your child about Africa than through this delightful series. The stories are nice and short which we found was perfect to keep the attention of a child ranging between the ages of 5 and 11 years. The author Fatuma Abdullah has taken great care in sharing the character Akiki’s, journey through; The Drakensberg Botswana Kenya Each story touches on teaching your child various lessons. There are are questions as well as an adventure map in book to show your child where Akiki is off to next. The book also features Key words together with the pictures to explain the african words and phrases used throughout the books thus increasing your child’s vocabulary as well as knowledge on Africa. Then to top it all off there is a single book with short stories in it as well… Akiki’s Short Stories In this book, there are 3 short stories to share with your child. In the first story, Akiki finds a gold watch and aims to return this valuable possession to the rightful owner. The second covers Akiki getting lost in the shops one day. This is a wonderful lesson for all our children to learn and the topic was covered beautifully. And lastly the last story covers Akiki getting everyone involved in collecting old toys for the children’s hospital, certainly a topic that every child can learn from. For more information you can email [email protected] get your copies, you certainly wont regret that you did!

October 31, 2017

7 Things every mom should know about trampolines

We know that moms, always being the cautious ones, often feel skeptical about trampolines and the prospect of their kid bouncing on one. Much of it is due to unfounded rumors or exaggerations. It’s only unfortunate that the benefits of trampolines don’t get passed around as often… to the detriment of everyone involved. Let’s clear up some of the misconceptions and find out why moms all over America have taken to trampolines and enjoy bouncing with their kids! 1 Trampolines Are Very Safe Compared to the trampolines of yesteryear, most of the trampolines on the market now come equipped with a plethora of safety features to minimize the risk of any accidents. Almost all trampolines come equipped with an enclosure and generous safety padding to ensure maximum safety. An overwhelming majority of trampolines we’ve tested meet the minimum safety requirements. Safety is also enhanced if you abide by the recommendations, which state that only children above 6 should bounce on the trampoline. Also, never let more than one child bounce. Most of the accidents happen when jumpers collide with one another mid-air, not when someone falls off (which the enclosure prevents anyways). Our extensive database of trampoline reviews can help you make the optimal purchase decisions and we put special emphasis on the trampolines’ safety features. As you’ll see, these trampolines are in no way like those old beaters without a safety net or even stable legs! 2 You Can Keep an Eye on Your Kid If you had a trampoline, where’d you put it? In your back yard, of course. And where would your kid play? In the back yard, as well, bouncing on the trampoline! This way, your child will always be near you and you can easily see what they’re doing. There is no risk of them running around the neighborhood unsupervised. You can simply relax on your patio and be safe knowing where your child is at any time, instead of not knowing where your child is and calling all the moms in the area sick with worry. 3 It’s Healthy for Your Kids… Trampolines are an excellent way for your children to exercise. Think about it – these days most of the kids are glued to their phones or computers and won’t do anything outside. And even if they do, parents feel uneasy as the neighborhoods of today are not what they used to be. Luckily, trampolines solve both issues. It’s in your back yard and the kids can be active. Bouncing on a trampoline burns 60% more calories than jogging, according to a NASA study. It is a low impact exercise, meaning it doesn’t strain the joints and ligaments the way running does. The forces are much more evenly distributed all over the body, thus eliminating knee and foot pain common when jogging. Exercising on a trampoline is a great way of maintaining healthy body weight and fighting the obesity epidemic. They are especially good if your children don’t have a semblance of athletic prowess nor any inclination to do something about it. Instead of nagging and urging them to exercise, they will happily bounce on the trampoline, as they will view it as a fun game instead of a boring exercise. They’ll be none the wiser and won’t ever get the wind of your devilish scheme! 4 … And You And by that, we don’t mean only in a physical way. Any benefits already stated (and much more that we had to left out) also apply to adults. But the benefits aren’t only physical. Yes, trampolines are a great way of reducing stress and unwinding after a particularly tough day at work. And yes, they will help you keep trim and slim, strengthen your bones and your lymphatic system. But they will also let you bond with your kid better – by being near them – and your partner as well. The children will be more tired and will go to bed earlier, thus saving you a lot of frustration and arguing with your spouse – a sight too often seen in homes all around the country. 5 You’ll Be the Coolest Mom Enough with the health talk – now it’s vanity time! Seriously, we all want for our kids to have the best we can provide. It can be disheartening to hear that your kid wants to play elsewhere because their friend has that cool toy that their parents bought them. Why not bring out the big guns? With a trampoline, your kid, and as a consequence, you, will become the coolest folks in the neighborhood – and everyone will flock to your back yard (if you so desire, of course). It can be a boon for your kid’s social life, and who knows – a nice opportunity to catch up with your neighbors as well! 6 They won’t break the bank People often have a misconception that trampolines are something ridiculously expensive and only the richest people can afford it. While trampolines that cost a king’s ransom certainly exist, even a modest budget will go a long way. There are a lot of trampolines that are both affordable and well-made. As little as $300 can get you a fair, decently-sized trampoline of about 14ft with all the usual safety features that make trampolining a worry-free exercise. However, not all trampolines are the same. To help you separate the wheat from the chaff, our handy review database will do all the work for you! 7 They Liven Up the Back Yard Trampolines need not look ugly and drab. There is a plenty of models that look fresh and sharp. A nice trampoline is a great way to improve the look of your back yard, especially if there is a lot of empty, unused space. They come in various sizes and shapes, and if you prefer rectangular over oval or round trampolines, there is plenty of choice. Now that you see that trampolines are loads of fun for everyone involved, it’s time

October 30, 2017

Fun Ways to Surprise Your Child on Their Birthday

A birthday is a special occasion that comes just once a year. Kids and family alike wait the entire year to celebrate that special day with family, friends, and relatives. As the big day nears, the excitement of receiving gifts becomes unbearable for the little one! But besides gifts, why not try to make the day even more special with a few fun surprises? Feel free to use some of the following surprises to make the birthday of your child an even more awe-inspiring one. Have a surprise character show up at your party What else can be greater than a surprise visit from your child’s favorite character? If you have dogs, make sure that they make an unannounced special secret visit. Even better yet, if your guests have doggies, have them bring them along as well. If pets are out of the question, make sure to have your child’s favorite character make a surprise impromptu visit. Your child can enter the world of their favorite cartoon character, sports figure or celebrity with all their friends. This will make your child enjoy their party to the fullest as they will feel as special as the party entertainersplaying the characters! Make a countdown chain You can easily make a celebration countdown chainwith construction paper say 30 days before the big day. To do this, make 30 links in the chain and each day simply rip off one of the links. Kids love to watch the chain get smaller because they know that when the chain is gone, their big day will have arrived! Leave chalk messages on Your child’s belongings When your child gets home from school, surprise them with chalk messages a few days or weeks before their party. You can decorate whatever toys they might have with a chalk written birthday message. It can be the bat your child plays with, their dolls or action figures, a trampolineor any other surface that chalk can write on. You can even leave a chalk message on the sidewalk when they come home that says “your birthday is coming in 3 days!” Be creative with ideas. Secret surprise messages will excite your child with anticipation of the big day. Mention their age everywhere Children love aging and the number of their age is something very close to their hearts. You can wear the number on your face with face paints (but beware of the kisses you may get in return). You can also mention their age on balloons, on the tile in the tub, on a cupcake, or on the walls of the house. You can also create their giant birthday number in the yard. Have a surprise sleepover party the night before their birthday How about surprising them by inviting their friends over to your house the night before their birthday and have a celebration at midnight to kick off the big day! A night like that could potentially be the most fun night of your child’s entire life. Fill Their Rooms with surprise Balloons Balloons are a colorful and attractive way to make your child enjoy and rejoice all the fun of their birthday. Balloons are not very expensive but the impact they can create is out of this world. On the birthday of your child, you can fill their room with dozens of beautiful balloons. Each corner of the room should have balloons so that your child can jump around in the balloons and enjoy every moment of their birthday. Hide their gifts How about a new tradition where the birthday child gets a surprise gift the night before their birthday? Imagine the smile on their face when you notify them of this special surprise. The only caveat is that the present is hidden and it must be found. You can give your child clues or tell them if they are hot or cold when searching for the gift. You can also additionally have the birthday guests that come to the party the next day hide their gifts around the house. Anticipation is sometimes better than the actual present! Leave a Stuffed Bear in their room with flowers Need we say more? These are some simple fun ways to surprise your child on their birthday. Remember, it is not what you do to make them feel special on their birthday, it is how you do it. Every gesture of yours should reflect the love for your child. We hope these ways can help you make your child happy on their special occasion. Fun surprises will aid in making the actual day as distinctive as possible and they surely will make their birthday a most memorable one for your child. KidsParties.partyis an exhaustive birthday party directory for parents to help them find fun local entertainment services, party entertainers, party venues as well as unique birthday party ideas. Facebook https://www.facebook.com/KidsParties.party/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/kidsparties_ Google Plus: https://plus.google.com/113158303928733875420 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kidsparties-party Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kidsparties.party/

October 27, 2017

Raising Independence

The six things your children must be able to do for themselves by the end of Primary School. I recently heard about a mother who was quite literally still wiping her child’s bum at the age of eight. I was horrified. Now when I have such a strong judgemental reaction to any trait that I come across in another I like to look and see where I might be doing that too. So no, I am not still wiping my kids’ actual bottoms, but I wondered where I might metaphorically be playing this out in my family. And I found more than a few examples – making their lunchboxes, running their baths, brushing their hair, getting involved in their squabbles. When our children get to Primary School age it is definitely high time to step back and let them start living their own lives and taking on some responsibility. I work with too many young adults who are debilitated by well-meaning parents who have never let them grow up. I propose that by the time your kids leave Primary School they should be able to do all of the following: 1. Make their own lunchboxes and even prepare a family meal.Food is an essential part of life and our children should never leave home without a clue on basic nutrition and how to prepare it for themselves. Growing and preparing food ought to be the most primary thing that we teach our kids, and preferably as early as possible. 2. Take care of their own personal hygiene. Washing behind their ears, brushing and washing their hair, caring for their teeth, washing their clothes, keeping their environment hygienic… If we’re still on their case about this at high school age then our kids have not internalized the need for personal self-care and we need to hand that over ASAP! 3. Earn and manage their own money. Children need to learn that money doesn’t just arrive in your bank account (or pocket) and that when it runs out it doesn’t just replenish itself. It sounds basic, but we give our kids so much information on saving and budgeting and other money issues that we consider important and yet skip the step about how you get money in the first place by just handing them an allowance. 4. Solve their own problems.Children learn to problem solve by doing just that. As much as we want to protect our kids we aren’t doing them any favours by interfering in sibling fights, contacting the parents of their arch-enemies to sort things out, or calling parent-teacher meetings for every little disagreement. Definitely be a sounding board for your child’s current issues, but keep throwing that ball back into their court. We want empowered kids who know how to state their boundaries and stand up for themselves and who learn the basic skills of negotiation and interpersonal conflict resolution. 5. Manage their own needs and schedules. Even from the first grade children can wake up with their own alarm, check a timetable, pack what they need for the day, ensure they have lunch and snacks and additional warm clothing if necessary. Us parents need to stop checking and double checking, running to school to drop off items left behind, and sneaking in an extra sweater in case our baby gets chilly. One day without lunch, one cold evening without the right clothing, or even once having to use their own cash to replace a lost item will teach a child much more about personal responsibility than any lecture from you about looking after themselves and their stuff. 6. Speak up.We need to encourage our children as early as possible to ask questions, voice their opinion, express their needs, request help and make announcements. As parents we must stop answering other adults for our kids and let our children know they have a voice and what they say counts. We need to start thinking about the main goal of parenting – to raise independence. We want kids who are capable, confident and skilled enough to make it in life on their own. The family home is the place to practice life skills and make mistakes with a decent safety net still in place. It is the training ground for an independent life. In order for our kids to be prepared for life outside the home they need plenty of opportunities to make their own decisions, face their own consequences, and manage their own lives. We all kind of know when it is appropriate to stop wiping their bottoms, so why do we have such a hard time letting them become independent in all areas of life? It is time to ask ourselves which apron strings need to be cut!

October 26, 2017

How to Talk to Kids about Death

Let’s just get it out there: nobody really wants to talk to kids about death. Death is a part of life none of us really want to deal with, and helping children deal with grief can be really difficult, as a parent. So, how does a help when your child has suffered a loss? First, deal with your own grief and sadness. Remember, we are the models for kids. How we deal with death and grief is how they will deal with it. We must determine how we feel about death and dying, preferably before we have to help children deal with it. Talking to kids about death is important, but we can’t do it until we have had a conversation with ourselves. Questions to ask yourself about death and grief: What do I feel about my own mortality? How did I handle my last bout with grief and sadness? What do I believe about the afterlife? What do I want to teach kids to believe? What do my employers believe, and how can I support them in dealing with grief and sadness? What do I want to tell the children about remembering the (person or pet) we need to say goodbye to? Could I benefit from group or individual grief counseling? I suggest that, as you think and talk about these questions with your loved ones, you keep a journal. Doing so will allow you to revisit your decisions and not have to rely on your memory. Organize everything you think of as associated with grief in one spot, so it is easy to grab and use. Once this is done, you will be more relaxed and less stressed, should something inevitable happen. Now that you have thought about your position on death and grief, you are better prepared to help the children. General Tips for Helping Kids after a Death There are several things you can do to support children during times of grief and sadness. Communicate. Talk about your feelings and theirs, read books for kids about death, grief and sadness together. Give the children words they can use to discuss their feelings. Be physically affectionate. On purpose, give more hugs, and let children be close while reading, watching TV or movies, or playing games. Be active. Provide a variety of activities for children to get involved in. Children need physical and mental distraction, and trying new activities in addition to their favorites may help them to move on. Pay attention. Pay close attention to how the child seems to be processing through their feelings of grief. Consider grief counseling. Discuss any plans for children to attend a children’s grief support group. Grief counseling is vital if the child experiences the loss of a parent. One important thing to keep in mind when n children experience a death is that children are naturally egocentric, which means that – right or wrong – they believe they are linked to everything that happens. It is a safe bet the child somehow blames himself or herself for the death. For example, a child may think: “I did not finish my vegetables and that is why my dog, Scooter, died.” When talking to kids about death, emphasize that death is part of life and that no one is to blame, but that the child especially is not at fault. How you handle your approach to death and grief will largely depend on the age of the children. If a child’s grieving behaviors last for more than three months, it is time to speak with the child’s pediatrician about intensive specialists for children’s grief counseling. Talking to Kids about Death: Birth to Age Three Many people make the mistake of thinking of children and grief as incompatible at this age; people believe that infants and toddlers do not have emotions like the adults. This is not true. Babies can and do feel grief and sadness, especially if the loss is of a parent or caregiver. Infants and young children who are sad, stressed and showing signs of grief may begin to: Show signs of lethargy Complain of frequent tummy aches Become cranky and clingy Take a developmental step backwards, such as a potty trained child having more accidents, or a child’s talk reverting to babble or baby talk. Book suggestions: Are You Sad, Little Bear?: A Book About Learning to Say Goodbye by Rachel Rivett What Happens When We Die? by Carolyn Nystrom These two books about children and grief can help to give you the words to use to talk to kids about death, as well as the basic concepts to help advance the child’s understanding of death. Talking to Kids about Death: Ages Three to Five Children of this age tend to exhibit their grief in a variety of ways, especially depending on the child’s maturity. Do not assume the child will grieve by being sad – instead, remember that the stages of grief include anger, denial, and bargaining. Children of this age may rebel, use their imagination in new ways and to the extreme, or attempt to make “deals” more than before. Responsibilities for adults may be less about talking to preschool-aged kids about death, and more about listening to them. Kids of this age experiencing grief tend to: Be crankier than before the loss Cry more easily than before the loss Seek out more comfort than before the loss Revert to a previous developmental stage Display some personality change. Usually a shy, quiet child becomes loud and belligerent, or an animated child becomes more reserved. Book Suggestions: Always and Forever by Alan Durant. The Purple Balloon by Chris Raschka These books are age-appropriate to help children actively discuss their grief, while showing them that other people experience death and have empathy for their feelings. Talking to Kids about Death: School Age (Kindergarten-5th Grade) Children this age are still egocentric and can blame themselves for illness, tragedy, or death. However, the older a child gets, the better he or she understands the differences between cause and effect. Grief counseling can be

October 26, 2017

Review: Stretch Superman

This is a very authentic and extremely stretchy hero to little boys. You name it and Stretch Superman can do it! The muscles of his body can be stretched from wall to wall. Once your little boy stretches him to his full capacity, he will always return to his original shape. The stretchy elastic that he is made from allows your boy to stretch him, fold and wrap him into any shape almost that you can think of. Whilst this is such a basic toy concept, we were surprised at how much fun he was to play with once we got started. Collect the other DC Comics’ Justice League team mates, Batman, Superman and flash and get the whole team joining in the fight. For more information visithttp://www.primatoys.co.za/stretch-armstrong/mini-strech-justice-league

October 25, 2017

3 Silent Things That Can Affect Your Baby’s Health

Everything seemingly is turned upside down in an instant. Your schedules change, your eating habits change, your sleep habits change (a lot!), and you’re constantly worried about your little one. There’s no need to be overly stressed about everything that could possibly happen, but it’s always good to be vigilant. Bugs and Pests Every home has had a few pests here and there, and honestly, it’s not that big of a deal most of the time. You see if you can get rid of them on your own for a while and end up calling a pest controlcompany to come to your house and the issue goes away. However, that type of thinking needs altering a bit in order to mitigate potential problems for your infant. The presence of cockroaches in particular, are of much concern. There was a publication recently written about a study that links cockroaches with asthma, which can affect younger children much more than adults. While using the exterminators a lot while you have an infant isn’t always a great idea, it’s increasingly important to stay aware of the creepy crawlies during this period of life. Moisture Another silent thing in your home that could cause health issues for you and your baby is the presence of mold. Gross just thinking about it, right? However, many people have mold for months without even knowing it. The most common time during the year to get mold is during the winter and springtime, but it can happen anytime with the right conditions. Whenever an area in your home has consistent moisture, little threads of mold form, causing the air qualityin your home to worsen. Again, this might not seem like a big deal to an adult, but little bodies with little lungs need lots of care to be able to function correctly. Whenever there is a spill in the kitchen or bathroom, make sure to clean it up quickly. Dry out the area with a hair dryer or fan to ensure that all the surfaces are good to go. Make sure that any leaks or floodinggets careful attention as well. Blue Light It’s not uncommon to have your baby next to you as you’re watching the television, working on the computer, or browsing on your smartphone. It’s probably an everyday occurrence in most homes. The reason why this can be a problem has to do with the developing senses and organs of your baby. Let’s be more clear- your baby’s eyes are more sensitive than those of adults, and therefore shouldn’t spend too long looking at things that give off blue light. Basically any electronic device gives off this type of light, which is different regular natural light, sunlight. It’s also a good idea for adults to keep these things in mind as it has been shown to keep us up at night and lose sleepbecause of how powerful it is. There are other considerations with blue light as well, like whether your baby or toddler should be getting used to watching the television at a young age anyway. As their brains are developing, it’s important to teach them to use their imagination, not just to look at screens to consistently be entertained. It may be a hassle and take time, but reading to your childcan be the one thing that sets them up for success in their formative years. It teaches them verbaland auditory skills as well as keeping a close bondwith parents. It also sets their brains up to form new neural pathways, which they will use as they continue to grow and learn new things. If you’re not in the habit of reading to your child, just take a few minutes to go through some books with them each day. Most young children will love it so much that they’ll end up reminding (and begging) you to do it all the time. These are a few considerations to take when evaluating your home for the potential health hazards for your baby. It’s not meant to be an exhaustive list, but can remind you of things that you normally overlook or don’t think about very often. Remember, a healthy baby is a happy baby!

October 25, 2017

Child writing matric? Here’s what the experts say…

You’ve almost seen your child through 12 or so years of school; and now, over the next weeks, it’s going to be time for them prepare for, and write those final Matric exams. Matric is that bridge linking the closing of the protected child chapter of their life and their beginning as a young adult of the world. It’s a particular milestone that can heighten and intensify a parent’s hopes and fears; and impel that natural urge to want the very best for our children into overdrive. However, experts advise that parents need to be aware of, and also manage their stress and strong emotions at this time so that they can appropriately support their child in reaching their potential in a highly charged circumstance. Dr Jaclyn Lotter, Counselling Psychologist and Head of Academic Programmes at SACAP(The South African College of Applied Psychology) says, “It is really important for us, as parents to recognize that our children are highly reactive to our emotions. At this time of increased stress, we want to be as calm, confident and contained as possible; as a role model, and because they are very sensitive to our emotions. If we go into a state of high anxiety because of the exams, they will feed off that stress, which is counter-productive to the outcomes we want. As parents, we have to make sure that our stress doesn’t become their stress. While we are currently advising Matric students to maintain balance and manage stress, exactly the same applies to parents. We also need to self-reflect, adjust our perspectives and focus on engaging in healthy activities and interventions that support our balance.” Actually, what is your role as the parent of a Matric student? This is an important question for parents to consider. As Jaclyn points out: “As much as we want the best for our children and will do just about anything to ensure this, these are their exams. It’s our children’s unique 2017 Matric experience and their performance is entirely in their own hands. You cannot write these exams for them; you cannot secure any kind of pass for them and you cannot achieve any distinctions on their behalf. The critical role that you have to play is being their main supporter. The key to that is taking an interest, being available to them, keeping the lines of communication always open and being encouraging, rather than critical. It is really important to give our children the space and responsibility to set their own goals for their Matric exams, to achieve these for themselves and their future.” Are you a motivational parent? Having someone believe in you, encourage you and even, champion you is a powerful, confidence-boosting and motivating force for good. While fear can effectively provoke short-term action to achieve a goal, it also evokes stress and anxiety which impact negatively on performance, especially over the long term. On the other hand, motivation based on good sense and warm encouragement is a more sustainable way of getting through the inevitable good and bad days that Matric exams present. Claudia Raats, Research Psychologist and Academic Programme Developer at SACAP says: “We need to be aware that our Matric children are likely to have some ‘bad’ days over the course of the exams. It is likely that they will not always come home to report that they have written a good exam. They may well come home despondent. It is important for parents to be aware of not being reactive to this, and to rather normalize this feeling for them. It can help a lot if you engage in a motivational conversation where you help them accept the reality of their bad day and help them put this into perspective so that they can focus with confidence on their next exam challenge.” Should home and family life change to support a child writing Matric? Jaclyn says: “Drastic changes probably won’t be helpful. As parents, we will want to maintain as much of our constructive routine and consistency as possible. It might be necessary to make some adjustments to ensure that the home is as conducive as possible to studying. We might want to find ways to keep noisy younger siblings at bay, or minimize the time our Matric student is expected to spend on household chores and responsibilities so they can keep their focus on studying and well-being. And, that’s an important point. As their supporter-in-chief, you can really play an important role in helping your child maintain balance. They cannot spend all their time studying. Sitting non-stop in front of your books does not equate to better results. They still need their time for exercise, sufficient sleep and healthy eating; as well as reasonable time for socialising, relaxation and the enjoyment of life that ensures their well-being. Claudia agrees: “The home needs to temporarily adapt to being an environment conducive to focused study. This doesn’t have to be radical: A quiet, private, comfortable space to study Perhaps, less chores and responsibilities may be necessary Healthy meals and snacks Your study plan for them, or theirs? “We’re not going to be able to sit in the exam venue with our children when they write their exams. Our support is different. It needs to foster a sense of independence, confidence and self-reliance in our child. If you draw up the study plan, they don’t have ownership of it. By all means offer interest, support, gentle guidance and encouragement if that’s what your child wants from you. But you might well find that your child can devise the optimum study plan all by themselves, after all, they are young adults now. From time to time, during the Matric exam experience, you might find yourself gently encouraging your teen to resume studying after a break, but constant nagging and checking up on them is counter-productive. It only sends the message that we don’t have confidence they can do this for themselves.” Claudia adds: “Keep communication open and

October 24, 2017

Self Confidence Activities For Children

Ensuring that your child has good self confidence is very important. For your kid to do well in life, it is critical that he/she believes in himself/herself from an early age. You do not want your kid to feel inferior or inclined to worry too much about his/her inabilities rather than abilities. You need your child to acquire selfconfidence so as to be able to face what life brings along with courage and pluck. If your child seems to be unsure of himself/herself, or looks as if he/she feels inferior to others, you need to take action immediately. There are practical ways how you can help him/her avoid this predisposition. Most likely your child has a particular trait which will help him/her to excel or do well at something. For instance, if he/she is very creative, it may be a good idea to enroll him/her for art classes. If he/she has a lot of energy, encourage to choose a sports discipline and take him/her to classes for such sport. Extracurricular activities can go a long way in helping kids acquire self confidence as they will feel that they have a forte in that area. So focus on finding their hidden talent/s and you will surely notice a significant boost in their self confidence. To improve your child’s self-confidence it is also a good idea to encourage him/her to talk and interact with others, including kids with his/her interests. Being a part of a team or group greatly helps in developing a sense of belonging in kids, and it improves self confidence as a result. Encourage your kids to make choices, rather than making all of their decisions for them. It is also highly recommended to have them help around the house from an early age as this will help them to feel useful, while enabling them to acquire more competence and realizing that their help can make a difference. You could also go on a hike or camping experience with your child. During such an outing you should encourage him/her to pack his/her bag, set up the camp, and help out in various ways so as to make the trip or activity successful. It is also a good idea to have your kid help in organizing events such as a party, or if it is safe, ask him/her to go for an errand for you, such as shopping at a nearby shop. Obviously these will depend on the child’s age. The key is to have the child feel competent and able. Last but not least – do not be overprotective as this could impede their acquiring a good level of self confidence and self esteem. Allow your child to take risks, as long as it is healthy and safe.

October 24, 2017

Creating a Safe Place to Talk

Over the years as I have worked with teens and parents one mistake I have seen parents make often is in thinking their teen needs less supervision and more trust. The teen years are a time of discovery children are exploring the world of adulthood. While trust is very important and we all want to trust we have good kids. Supervision is also an important aspect of this age. This is a time for you to pay close attention to the social and emotional aspects of your teen’s life. Ask questions, pay attention to their interactions when they are with their friends. Too often we think everything is fine. I suggest taking time to force your tween teen to cook dinner with you once a week. I have found while chopping veggies, measuring ingredients, kids will start talking. Take the time to listen to what they are saying; do not react just listen and hear what they are saying. As parents we want to rush in and fix things. However, this is the time to let kids figure it out for themselves when possible. If they ask for your advice of course give it to them, but reiterate the choice they make is theirs. As parents of children who will shortly be making all of their own decisions in life we have to offer support, encouragement and a listening ear. Though we would love to continue to make all the decisions for them we ill handicap them in the long run by doing so. We ofttimes over emphasise when a teen makes a mistake. Stop for a second and think about the last time someone magnified your mistake to you or others? What was your reaction and how did that over magnification make you feel? Do you really want to make your child to feel that way? People make mistakes it is a part of life. The key as a parent is not tom make those mistakes bigger than they have to be. Making a mountain out of a molehill will only teach your teen you are not a safe place in times of trouble . which is the last thing you want. Help your teen go step by step in the process to examine where the mistake occurred help them to see where they went wrong. Then help them and support them as they correct the mistake. Making amends as needed and paying any reparations necessary. Try This: This exercise is something I would like you to practice during the whole challenge. It is both simple and complicated. Here it is: When your child comes to you to talk about something. Either stop right then turn to them, look them in the eye and give them your full attention and focus on what they are saying to you. Or if you are in the middle of something give them a time to come back when they can have your full attention. Be sure if you do the second option you give them a specific time. For instance, “I want to hear what you have to say, but I have to finish this right now and I need 30 minutes to finish this. Come back so I can give you my complete undivided attention. Then when they do come back even if you are not finished take the time to give them just that. Then later write in your journal about the experience. I will tell you now the goal of this exercise is to get you into the habit of tuning into your child on a purposeful and conscious level. The number one complaint of teens is that their parents do not listen. This exercise will ensure you do listen to them when they come to you, every time.

October 23, 2017

The importance of play, age by age

Play is the occupation of children – a child’s work. A baby’s main tasks in the first three years are to master the world through movement, to develop a great self esteem, to learn language and other cognitive skills and to feel mastery and a sense of accomplishment. To achieve these goals a baby works very hard and he does this work through play. Play can entail toys and books or may simply involve interactions with others. You are your baby’s favourite toy and you will quickly notice that you get more squeals of delight and joy when you are playing with your baby than when he is left to play with a toy alone. When your baby experiences enjoyment, his neurons fire in a way that stimulates way more brain development and growth. So before you rush out and buy expensive toys bear in mind that you are really all your baby needs. Having said that, if you are looking for ideas to keep your baby playing happily that also have purposeful value, this list will help you choose toys that work well for each age and stage. Birth to three months Controlling eyes and visual focus – To develop visual skills, it is worth making or buying a black, white and red mobile, to hang over the change mat. Learn about body schema – Touch is the best way for babies to learn about their body. A great play activity for this age is baby massage. Identify where sounds come from and what they are – Rattles and simple toys with a noise are lovely tools for this age. Encourage your baby to identify where the sound comes from. Controlling hands and arms – Objects that have a handle that is small enough to be grasped can be given to your baby to encourage voluntary grip, which emerges towards the end of this stage. Develop back muscles – Tummy time is vital but some babies resist the position. Aside from regular exposure to tummy time, you can invest in a play mat that has lovely tactile and visual attachments so your baby is playing and engaged while strengthening his back muscles. Three to six months Rolling and moving – While your baby is on his play mat, set up a mobile near his feet or buy a ‘kick and play’ activity center. Kicking while lying on his back helps your baby to develop strong tummy muscles for rolling and crawling. Reach, grabbing and releasing – This is the stage when your baby starts to use hands intentionally – a play gym that your little one can lie under to reach for interesting items is a great way to stimulate eye-hand coordination. Sitting balance – Aside from propping your baby amongst cushions, a fun game to develop sitting muscles whilst eliciting squeals of delight is to get an empty box that your baby can fit in and pull him around on a tiled floor, while he tries to balance supported on all sides by the box. Clapping – Put your baby on your lap and play ‘Pat-a-cake’ – not only will this fun activity enhance sitting balance but it will also prepare your little one for the task of clapping. Movement stimulation – The sense of moving through the air is not only loads of fun, but is vital for stimulating the sense of movement and muscle tone. Play airplanes – whizzing him through the air. Always play within his comfort levels and go slowly at first. Six to 12 months Engaging the desire to move – From the sitting position, its time to start inspiring your little one to move into the crawling position. Place fun, bright toys just out of his reach to encourage him to move. Manipulating toys – Small toys such as blocks and balls that can be grasped in one hand are great for this stage. They will eventually be transferred between hands, which develops bilateral hand use. Sit with your little one and give him a block in one hand – then give him a block in the other hand. Then offer a third one so that he has to decide which one to let go of. Develop object permanence – Games that involve hiding objects will be great fun at this stage. Take a favourite toy or his dummy and hide it under a cloth (while he watches) then ask your little one where it is gone. During this stage he will learn where to look and slowly develop object permanence (the awareness that an object still exists when you can’t see it). Language burst – During this stage, your baby’s understanding of language will blossom – he will soon understand much of what you say. Play games using words, such as “Where is the bird?” Then point to a bird. This game teaches non-verbal communication such as pointing as well as the label of an item (bird). One to two years Repetition makes sense of the world – Your toddler will love interactive play with you and will want to repeat games, actions and activities over and over. While this can seem boring or pointless to you, it is the way your baby learns from the world. Watch how subtly he changes the game each time you play it – he is experimenting with his world. Learning games – Your toddler is ready to be challenged cognitively. Puzzles are a brilliant game for this age. Start with 4-piece puzzles and work your way up to more complicated puzzles. Your baby will learn shapes, colours and spatial form through puzzle play. Chase games – Toddlers love to be chased. Games that involve finding and pursuing each other are excellent for motor skills such as running and balance. Anticipation develops cognitive skills and anticipation. Obstacle courses – Build an obstacle course inside or outside, using boxes, cushions and furniture. Clambering over the course will develop not only coordination but spatial awareness too.

October 20, 2017

5 Parenting Tips For Children With Autism

When autism is diagnosed early the long term outcome is almost always better since you can start behavioral therapy early on. Being a parent is a demanding task that requires a lot of effort. If you have a special needs child then you will find parenting even more challenging. No parent is prepared when they find out that their child has autism and it may seem completely overwhelming, however there are some steps that you can take that will help you to cope easier and help you to assist your child better. Here are some simple parenting tips for children with autism: 1 Structure, Routine & Safety All children need structure, routine and safety but children with autism need it even more so. An autistic child will struggle to apply things learnt in one setting to another, so it will be important to find out what your child is learning at school and in therapy so that you can also apply those things at home. Consistency also needs to be applied to the way you deal with your child’s challenging behavior and interact with your child. Try and keep your daily routine the same as far as possible, so therapy times, meal times, play time and bedtime should be the same as far as possible. There will be times that you will need to break your schedule, so when this happens let your child know in plenty of time and help your child prepare for the change. While it may seem easier to keep your child at home due to unpredictable behavior it is important for your child to learn how to deal with the outside world too. Choose some regular errands that you do with your child such as grocery shopping so that your child can get accustomed to doing it on a regular basis. This should be included in your schedule and over time it will get easier and you child will become better adjusted. It is a great idea to set up a safe zone for your child in your home. This space should be a quiet area where your child can be comfortable, relax and feel safe. You can mark this space out clearly for your child. Keep in mind that your child has sensory sensitivities. This means that your child is super sensitive to sound, light, touch, smells and movements. Take this into account when you create this safe zone. This is going to be the place for your child to get away from it all and be safe. 2 Put Emphasis On Play Play is important for all children, as well as children with autism. In fact it may be even more important since your child will be doing a lot of therapeutic activities. Try and keep play as fun as possible, focusing on things that will bring your child out of his or her shell. Keep in mind that verbal skills is not your child’s forte so try and get some non-verbal activities that you can do together too so that your child can relax and not feel too much pressure. Remember to keep play fun rather than therapeutic. Make sure that you put loads of play time on your schedule and try to make it at a time that your child is most alert. 3 Positive Parenting Positive parenting is important for all children, but even more with special needs children. It is important to be patient and accept your child at whatever stage he or she is at. Focusing on the positive behaviors in your child with praise and rewards will go a long way. Be very specific when you praise your child so he or she knows exactly what it is that has been achieved. Find ways to reward your child for positive behavior that will reinforce your praise. Your child will regularly have tantrums and difficulty controlling his or her negative behaviors. Try to be patient and not to let this affect you, rather keep focused on figuring out what the trigger is for this behavior. Your autistic child will have more difficulty communicating and this can be a huge source of frustration for your child. Try and learn your child’s non-verbal cues. 4 Figure Out What Works There is no one thing that will work for all autistic children. Your child will have his or her own unique triggers and ways of communication. Since your autistic child will struggle with verbal communication you will need to pay special attention to your child’s non-verbal communication. Learning about autism and specifically about your own child is key here. You will need to try out different things to find out what really works for you and your child. Trust your instincts and try to be patient with yourself and your child. There are so many different types of approaches to treating autism so if you try one type of therapy and it doesn’t work don’t let if get you down. Keep trying until you find the unique plan that works best in your unique circumstances. 5 Get Support Looking after yourself is essential so that you are emotionally, physically and spiritually strong enough to look after your child. While you may feel that taking some time off from your child is selfish and that it is your responsibility you do need the time off to look after yourself. Get a family member to look after your child regularly or a carer so you can rest a bit. Joining a support group for ASD will help you immensely since you will be able to meet other families that are dealing with the same things you are. You will be able to get advice from other people that are facing the same challenges as well as get emotional support when things get tough. Dealing with a special needs child can take its toll on you emotionally, so you (or your parter) may suffer from depression, stress or anxiety. Consider getting counseling for yourself,

October 20, 2017

Why is early childhood education so important?

By… Chantelle Anderson – Head Directress and Owner at Montessori Nosipho pre-school As an early childhood educator I often come across concerned parents who ask the question, when is the right time for my child to start school? There are many things to consider when answering this very important question. Maria Montessori believed that children pass through different stages throughout their development when they have a sensitivity to learn a specific skill, hence she came up with the term ‘sensitive periods’. Children are in their sensitive period for many things between birth and 6 years of age so it is important to make sure that when they enter into each stage that their needs are met and they are stimulated correctly and sufficiently in order for them to develop in all the ways necessary, cognitively, intellectually, socially, emotional and physically. Different sensitive periods include, sensitive period for order, language, movement, refinement of senses, grace and courtesy, numbers, just to name but a few. A child’s sensitive period for language is between birth and 6 years, actually believe it or not from 7 months in utero to 6 years old. The prenatal influence on language is important as this will allow a child to start making sounds and speaking small simple words at the age of 7-8 months to being able to communicate with 3-4 words sentences by 3 years of age. In saying this, this is an important part of a child’s life, as they need to be able to use words or language in order to communicate, a vital part in our everyday lives. I have heard concerns from many parents that because their child isn’t of speaking age, it is atomically assumed that they cannot attend school because they cannot communicate. This is not the case at all as children will only learn faster and be more advanced being around children of their similar age and having the stimulating environments influence on them, especially in a Montessori environment were children are encouraged to develop through many different ways and experiences, so why can’t they be at school? Why can’t they listen to their older siblings or school peers speak and teaching them how to do so in turn? Children will often copy a child of similar age better than that of a much older sibling or parent so school would give them the best opportunity for this. Another important sensitive period that cannot be missed and certainly won’t be tented to being at home stuck in front of the T.V or not having an adequate environment to help them through this stage or to help the child develop is the sensitive period for movement. A child may learn to crawl, walk and run in their home environment but in the unfortunate event that a child lives in a home environment where they don’t have a garden or play area how will a child learn other necessary skills or how will they meet their sensitive period for movement (birth to 4 years). An early childhood setting will help them by meeting their needs by providing the child with playground equipment that the child can learn to manipulate, and activities that encourage a lot of movement, for example something simple like fetching their snack from their bag, or walking to the bathroom to wash their hands, or tucking in their chair after working at a table, or simply packing away a book they have read, an activity they have done or even toys they have played with. In turn doing all these very simple activities will not only meet their need for movement but will also help develop the child in other ways, fine and gross motor skills, independence, concentration and so on. They are all so closely linked and without the completion of once stage of development another cannot start. My favourite sensitive period that I love watching children work through and explore is their sensitive period for refinement of senses. A child is fascinated with their sensorial experiences such as weight, smell, touch, taste, and sounds, enabling them to make sensory discriminations. A Montessori environment provides the early child with the ability to explore all of these with specifically designed apparatus, such as taste bottles, the sound bottles, the Montessori bells, the baric tablets and touch tablets etc. In a home environment a child will no doubt be exposed to some of these, for example smelling what mom is cooking for the children, walking around the house feeling the different surfaces they walk on, listening to the different sounds they hear, car driving past, a bird, the wind etc, but why should a child be limited to these experiences only when they can have so much more at their fingertips while they are at school. As an example in our Montessori classroom, we provide the children with a nature table, giving them the chance to not only explore the outdoors while looking for something to put on it, but to touch and feel different weights and roughness of items, or feeding the fish in the fish tank, and often with a surprised look on their face when they find out the texture of the fish food, or when their fingers accidentally touch the water and they realise its warmer than they thought. At art time getting the feeling of paint on their hands, or gluey fingers, of the surprising sounds when they cut different textured paper or draw with different crayons, chalk, pencils and charcoal, or the noise of tearing tissue paper, the list is endless. It is so vitally important that a child is given the opportunity to develop with the correct environment around them, think back to your childhood, some of my best memories are with the group of friends I met at my pre-school and how we endured this new thing of ‘going to school’ together but had so much fun in doing so, working through our different stages of our childhood and growing together rather

October 19, 2017

Brain Development in Teens

When we look at the average 13-15 year old today it is often hard to remember they are not as old as they look. When I was 13, I looked like a grow woman if you looked at me from the neck down. I have always been admired by older men. However, just because teens look so mature their brains are far from it. Looking back I can see how I thought I was so mature, but I was always getting in trouble for spouting off at the mouth. I wish my Mom had known about brain development I may have not been grounded near as much. She might have cut me some slack had she known, I was not yet capable of thinking about what I was thinking. It turns out the teen brain is vastly different from the adult brain. In fact we do not even think from the same part of the brain as a teen. Adults think primarily from the part of the brain called the frontal cortex. Teens ten to use more of the central area of the brain called the pre-frontal cortex. This is the part of the brain which is reckless, laid back, and full of angst. Describe anyone you know. The teen brain is also different in that it has literally thousands of connections called neuro-connectors. As a matter of fact it is these connectors which prevent the teen brain from being able to use the frontal lobe. As we spoke about last week the pituitary plays a large part in physical development. Part of what this gland does is to cue the brain to start changing a child’s brain into a more mature brain. Thus, the brain begins to develop these neuro-connectors in order to begin the restructuring process. So, much of what is going on in puberty. It turns out the process is a lot more complicated than most of us thought. This week your exercise is to read two articles about the brain development of teens. This article from the Wall Street Journal breaks things down by age. Remember every child is different. Depending on the skills they acquired in childhood some things may be different with your child. However, children will at one point or another hit all the staged described. This article in Science News for Students this article is an easier read. I suggest you read it with your teen and discuss the article. Knowledge is power. Reading and having this discussion will not only give you something to share. It will give you both greater knowledge in what is going on beneath the surface.

October 19, 2017

Is genetic insight the greatest gift you can give your child?

From the time you first hold your child in your arms, you’ll do everything you can to protect them – and that includes shielding them from a range of illnesses. You’ll spend the first few years as a parent trying to find treatment that works best for your offspring when they’re sick, based on recommendations from your paediatrician. But what if you could empower your specialist with deeper insights to inform your child’s treatment? New advances in pharmacogenomics give parents access to an uninvasive DNA test that yields critical insights into how their offspring metabolise medication. And it’s likely the most important gift they’ll ever give. Just for your child Your child’s genetic make-up determines how they respond to medication – what dose they need and the side effects they’ll experience. Medication therapy in children is a complex issue with limited information. Research shows only 25% of approved medications are suitable for pediatric use. Most is researched and labelled for use in adults. As a result, many indications and dosages are based on trial and error instead of proven studies. Adults vs children Child psychiatrist, Dr Sarvani Pather says every child’s DNA holds the key to the enzymes they produce, which is how they metabolise medicine. Some children may have a genetic variation that creates overactive enzymes and makes them ultra-rapid metabolisers of an ingredient. Others might metabolise medication far less expediently or intensively. “One working example is in the case of a common painkiller, such as codeine, which is present in many cough and cold medications. For ultra-rapid metabolisers, an inappropriate dose means codeine is converted into morphine which can have negative side effects,” says Pather. “These include sleepiness to the point of difficulty waking up your child, blueness around lips or mouth, confusion and interrupted sleep. For children who don’t metabolise medication as well, they won’t find pain relief and may be traumatised as a result.” Tonsil and adenoid surgery are routine procedures for children – it’s thus critical, at this stage of their lives, to understand how they’re going to metabolise the medications they’re given. Safe and effective treatment for the future A simple cheek swab is the first step in unlocking your child’s DNA – and towards better treatment. As a parent, you can now access and order the mygeneRx test online, have it delivered to your door and conduct the test with your child. No needles and no hospitals. It means better control of the medicine your child needs, informing the best health decisions throughout the lifespan. As medication and treatment becomes increasingly personalised, it’s the greatest gift you can give your child. To speak to an expert about genetic testing for your child – and the power of pharmacogenomics for personalised medicine, visit www.mygenerx.co.za.

October 18, 2017

QUALITIES IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

Searching for some easy ways to help your kids feel good about themselves? A practical way to build their self-esteem is to focus on just four qualities. Belonging is about meaningful connections with others. Kids, who feel they belong, feel safer, self-assured and better at managing challenges. This is why when friends exclude them it really hurts. By helping them to adjust to new environments; encouraging healthy friendships and building family values, you boost their sense of belonging. Tips Set up play dates and activities where they can learn to cooperate Encourage team sports/group activities In new places and situations help them feel that they belong Do fun things together as a family Mastery is the ability to achieve a skill / feel competent at something. Kids love to be noticed whenever they get something right without your help. This is why your four-year-old melts down when you take over for them. Babies don’t give up on walking after falling down once or twice. As parents we need to step back a little, motivating them to keep trying, while encouraging them to achieve things by themselves. Tips Be encouraging when they are trying/showing you a new skill Avoid taking over when they’re struggling (rather encourage finding other ways ) Always comment on their efforts Independence is about being your own person – making decisions, problem solving and taking responsibility. When kids are given chances to manage themselves and become inwardly directed, their confidence soars. Remember over time, school and sport demands increase and kids are expected to manage without your help, relying on their own inner qualities and resources. Tips Do less for them, and more with them (i.e. stand by while supporting with words) Don’t always give solutions – rather encourage them to think Offer choices – it builds independence Encourage decision-making- without telling them what you would do Involve them in simple household chores from an early age – it builds independence, responsibility and self-discipline. If you’re in doubt as to whether they can do something without your help, give it a try. Use words to guide them, while standing by and commenting on how well they’re tackling the task. Although they may want you to help, if you keep encouraging and only help with words, they’ll soon believe in themselves too. Generosity is about giving to others without expecting anything back. In helping others, kids feel good about themselves. Where children have plenty of opportunities and positive encouragement to be generous, they naturally become more helpful and caring, and compassionate towards others. Remember they’re learning by seeing what you do. With a little bit of effort, any selfish habits can be unlearned, and our kids can become far more helpful, kind and generous than we can imagine. Lead the way and let them follow. Tips Be caring – share hugs and smiles Encourage gift making, giving and donating used clothes/toys Create a “gratitude jar” – let them write down what they feel most grateful for daily and put it in the jar The wonderful parenting joy about strengthening these qualities (adapted from the Circle of Courage Model) is that it with a little bit of focus and effort we can build lifelong self-esteem in our children. Written by Carol Surya, author of ParentMagic – raising kids positively.

October 17, 2017

Medical Aid Made Easy

Access to good healthcare remains a concern for most South Africans and choosing a medical aid to suit your financial status and needs, can be very confusing. Not surprising considering that, according to the Council of Medical Schemes, there are 83 medical aids operating in South Africa. Added to the mix is the recent announcement by the Minister of Health of the proposed National Health Insurance (NHI) scheme. With all the options offered by medical schemes, which include everything from comprehensive cover to a simple hospital plan, how do you make a choice? Gerhard Van Emmenis, Principal Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund, provides some pointers to help make the decision easier. He cautions, however, that due diligence and some homework is required ahead of making a final decision. Your needs The most important factor is to know what you and your family need in terms of cover and what suits you best: Reflect on your family’s health history to gauge the number of visits you make to the doctor and the cost of medication Whether anyone has a chronic condition or needs to see a specialist How much you spent – or need to spend – on dental or eye care If you already have a medical plan check what was covered, how much your co-payments (if any) were and whether your savings for the year were adequate. Your budget Once you have an idea of what you might need for the year ahead in terms of healthcare, then it’s time to look at your budget. What can you comfortably afford to spend to get the medical cover you need? (The rule of thumb is contributions should not exceed 10% of your monthly income). ‘Once you have these two scenarios then it’s time to compare the various plans and see which best matches your needs and budget,’ says Van Emmenis. The benefits Benefits vary from plan to plan so check what is covered by the one you are considering and look at whether it offers supplementary benefits which can potentially save significant day-to-date expenses. These could include anything from wellness screenings (blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and BMI measurements) through to maternity benefits, flu vaccinations, mammograms, pap smears and HIV tests. All of these are costly if you have to pay for them yourself. In terms of the Medical Schemes Act, there are 26 common chronic illnesses, known as Prescribed Minimum Benefits (PMBs), which all options on all schemes are required to cover for medication and treatment. What are savings? One of the most misunderstood elements of medical plans is how the day-to-day benefits work. ‘Medical savings are a fixed amount that the medical scheme gives you at the beginning of the year,’ explains Van Emmenis. ‘You can use your savings for daily out-of-hospital medical expenses, such as GP and specialist consultations and over the counter medicine. It is imperative that members use their savings and day-to-day benefits wisely to get maximum value for money.’ How can to make the most of savings? Always use partner networks Medical schemes negotiate preferential rates with these partners. This means if you use a network hospital, doctor or pharmacy you will not be charged more than the rate agreed with the scheme. This will also help you to avoid co-payments, deductibles and additional out-of-pocket expenses. Find a GP on your medical aid’s network Using network doctors is an invaluable tool to make your medical aid last longer. It means that doctors can’t charge you more than a specific amount. At present, Bonitas Medical Fund has the largest network of GPs in South Africa – with over 5 500 doctors. Register all chronic diseases If you’re on regular medication to treat a chronic illness (such as Diabetes, hypertension or hypothyroidism) you could qualify for chronic medication benefits. This means that your medical scheme pays for it out of the risk portion of your medical aid and not your medical savings account. All you need to do is register your condition as chronic. Make use of preferred providers Medical schemes often have providers that are contracted to them. Members are then given better rates for specific benefits. For example, Bonitas has contracted the services of DENIS for dental benefits. Use formulary meds All medical schemes have a list of medication they cover called a formulary. Another way to avoid co-payments and out-of-pocket expenses is to ensure your doctor treats you with medication listed on your plans specific formulary. Where applicable, you can also use a Designated Service Provider to obtain your medicine and stretch your benefits even further. Managed care benefits Some schemes offer preventative care benefits, which are paid from the risk portion of your medical scheme and are not funded from your savings account. This includes Oncology, HIV and Diabetes management programmes. Ask your pharmacist Pharmacists too can provide sound medical advice on problems such as rashes, colds or illnesses that are not severe. Buy over-the-counter medicine to treat less serious ailments and consider using generic medicine which is cheaper but effective. What is Gap Cover? Gap cover is an insurance policy you can take out to help pay for the shortfall between what your medical scheme pays and what the hospital or specialist might charge. The amount paid out depends on your policy but most people usually combine Gap Cover with a hospital plan. It is important that note that Gap Cover is not offered by medical schemes and is a separate health insurance product. As of 1 April this year, the same requirements for a medical scheme have been introduced including a waiting period of between 3 and 12 months for certain conditions and payout limit of R150 000 a year for each person. And a hospital plan? This provides you with basic, yet important medical cover and essentially covers all your required in-hospital procedures and check-ups, including the 27 chronic conditions (or PMBs). However, a hospital plan does not provide cover for day-to-day doctors’ visits, prescribed medications, chronic medication

October 13, 2017

Cost free stem cell storage programme gives hope to South African families affected by life-threatening blood disorders

Storing umbilical cord blood stem cells at birth could prove to be a live-saving investment for the child, or a sibling, diagnosed with a life-threatening blood disorder, treatable by a stem cell transplant. However, not everyone chooses to bank their baby’s cord blood stem cells. Cryo-Save South Africa, a private cord blood stem cell bank located in Pretoria, has recognised the plighn t of families who have a child with a blood disorder that can be treated with a stem cell transplant. It provides hope to families affected by leukaemia, other forms of blood cancers, and blood disorders such as sickle cell disease, through its Cost-Free Donation Programme. Three years ago, South Africans Charlene and Ralph Subbarayan’s first-born son, then aged five, was diagnosed with leukaemia. He was frequently hospitalised and only recently completed his treatment. During this time, although unplanned and a wonderful surprise, Charlene fell pregnant with their second child. Both parents became extremely concerned as to whether their unborn child may also develop cancer in future. “My husband and I began frantically researching cancer and it was on a visit to my gynaecologist that I picked up a Cryo-Save pamphlet right there in the waiting room. After reading, I immediately called the Cryo-Save’s Information Hub, who were more than willing to help us out – and for free!” explains Charlene. To give hope to families in need, the Cryo-Save Cost-Free Donation Program is specifically designed to offer families affected by diseases that can be treated with blood stem cells, the opportunity to store the cord blood stem cells of their expected new-born child to potentially treat a sibling who has been diagnosed with a blood disorder To qualify for the Cost-Free Donation Programme, a sibling of the unborn child must have been diagnosed with a disease that is currently treatable with umbilical cord blood stem cells (an FDA approved indication for transplantation) and must be being treated by a medical specialist (oncologist/haematologist), who agrees that the stem cells could be used for treatment. If eligible, Cryo-Save will enrol the family into the Cost-Free Donation Program, provide the cord blood collection kit, and process and store (cryo-preserve) the new-born’s cord blood sample without any cost to the family. “Storing my second child’s stem cells with Cryo-Save was such a phenomenal experience! I’m glad I did it. Stem cells are used to treat and cure several diseases and not just cancer. I would advise any parent who would like to store their child’s stem cells to definitely go for it, it is a must. Use our family as an example. My child, who was diagnosed with leukaemia three years ago, will be turning nine on the 14th of December. I am so grateful to have beautiful healthy children, I love my boys and I wouldn’t give up my stem cell storage experience for anything,” concludes Mrs Subbarayan. Blood-forming stem cells are able to be collected not only from umbilical cord blood but also directly from bone marrow and from circulating blood. These stem cells have been used to treat more than 80 types of diseases ranging from blood cancers, metabolic diseases, bone marrow failure syndromes, to other blood and immune deficiency disorders. Stem cells found in the blood of a baby’s umbilical cord and placenta are usually discarded at the time of birth, as both the cord and placenta are discarded as medical waste. Prospective mothers and fathers should consider the potentially life-saving investment they could make and the benefits of storing cord blood and cord tissue stem cells well in advance of giving birth. Nothing in life is certain, but if we knew we could do something to help our children, why wouldn’t we? It is for this reason that Cryo-Save enables access to umbilical cord blood stem cell storage. Visit www.cryosave.co.za for more information on stem cell collection and storage.

October 12, 2017

When to cut the financial helping hand for your children

By Winnie Kunene, money psychologist and trustee on the board of Truth About Money – a 1Life initiative As a parent, I’m sure you can recall a time when you battled with the guilt of saying no to your children for that toy or sweet that they wanted while doing your monthly grocery shopping? Unfortunately, the reality is that those tough decisions are some of the most important ones you’ll have to make, as you prepare them for dealing with life’s disappointments. Most parents would agree that one of the toughest decisions that you’ll have to make one day, is to cut the financial helping hand for your children. Although, they might be facing financial burdens such as paying off student loans, underpaying jobs and extremely high living costs, the reality is that they won’t learn the ropes if you don’t teach them. In fact, according to Winnie Kunene, a money psychologist and trustee on the board of Truth About Money – a 1Life initiative, it’s important to teach children how to deal with money from a very young age. For example, they must save up to 10% of what they are earning – be it from their pocket money when they are still little, or from their salary as soon as they take that first step towards the corporate world and earn a sustainable income. There comes a time in a parent’s life where they need to realise the importance of letting go financially. With that said, let’s take a look at a few pointers that can guide you and your children when it comes to flexing their wings and becoming financially independent adults: Teach your children the value of money – Teaching your children the value of money is critical, and the best part is, you get to be creative! This can range from taking your child with you to the bank when little, to comparing the prices of luxuries and necessities whilst doing grocery shopping and giving them the pocket money that they need to use during the month and save, should they wish to buy a special item for themselves. “It also helps to speak to children about budgeting as soon as they are old enough. You can even take it a step further and sit down together to draw up their monthly budget,” adds Kunene. The importance of knowing when to cut all financial support for your children – Think about it, how are your children supposed to know and accept that you are reducing/cutting the financial support you give them, if you don’t manage their expectations effectively? “The reality is that it starts with you – you need to be firm about your children standing on their own two feet. It can start with something as simple as them giving you a 10% contribution of their first salary towards rent whilst still staying under your roof,” says Kunene. “Once you have taught your children the importance of managing their money effectively, you also need to be prepared to be ‘the bad cop’ and cut financial support, when the time is right. Learn to say no to unnecessary requests for money and stick to your word once you have made the decision.” Struggling to break away – Do you feel like you don’t know when the right time is to break away financially, or that you are struggling to be assertive when it comes to disciplining your children around finances? Find someone that you can trust – maybe a best friend that is also a parent who is also struggling with the same issue. By using the buddy system, you can both encourage each other to stop spoon-feeding your children, as well as how best to go about it. In addition, you can also complete a financial education course from www.truthaboutmoney.co.za to empower yourself to master the art of managing, not only what you give your children financially, but your own money too. And the best part about this course, valued at R2500, is that you don’t have to pay anything to complete it. It is available for everyone! “The truth is, tough love is a real part of everyday parenthood, even though some parents may even feel there is no right or wrong time to cut the financial helping hand for their children, as they still consider them to be their “babies” even once they move out and start a life of their own. However, it’s important to start today, don’t just talk without doing. Ensure your children are fully prepared for the financial challenges that life throws at them,” concludes Kunene.

October 12, 2017

Turn Prelim Panic into Finals Advantage

Writing Matric prelim exams and receiving your results can be a distressing eye-opener, but learners who perform worse than they would have hoped still have time to use the experience to their advantage before the final exams, an education expert says. “Time is fast running out, and some learners may feel things went so badly with their prelims that they might as well throw in the study towel. However prelims are there for a reason – to serve as a test run for the finals, and to guide learners in their last week of studies. If that is kept in mind, and learners actively take control over their preparation in coming weeks, dire prelims don’t have to be the forerunner to disastrous final marks,” says Dr Gillian Mooney, Dean: Academic Development and Support at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. Mooney says learners should also keep in mind that prelims are often pitched at a slightly more difficult level on purpose, to serve as a wakeup call, and that the most important steps to take right now are firstly to avoid panic, and secondly to take back power by putting in place a winning strategy for the weeks to come. She says the following steps can turn a poor performance into a good one, and a mediocre one into a great one: REVIEW YOUR FINALS STUDY ROSTER Your prelims will have given you a good indication of how much time you require to master your various subjects, which in turn will help you with drawing up an accurate and effective study roster. See where you can save or create time, and where you can put in an extra hour or two every day. Every little bit helps, and the time you took to do a mock paper could mean the difference between being accepted into your course or institution of choice next year or not. Very importantly, stick to your roster and don’t fall victim to procrastination and constant re-arranging of said roster. Right now, you DO still have enough time to get through and master all your work. At the end of the month, that picture would have changed quite substantially. FIND ALTERNATIVE STUDY METHODS AND GET EXCITED ABOUT YOUR SUBJECT If you’ve left room for a movie on a Friday night, why not make that movie one which covers your setwork? You’ll be approaching the subject from a different angle (and use even your downtime efficiently), which deepens your understanding of it. For other subjects, you can find TED talks about topics you find particularly challenging, for instance. These will not only help you to better understand something, but are quite likely to also increase your enthusiasm and inject some much-needed inspiration into the study process. GET A TUTOR It is not too late to get someone to help you master your most frustrating subjects. There might be a retired teacher or recent graduate in your community who can help, or you can enquire at your school whether such assistance is available. Getting the insight and assistance of someone who is not your regular subject teacher can provide fresh perspective and approaches you may not have been aware of before. ROPE IN RESOURCES FROM YOUR FUTURE HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTION Whether you are going to study at a public university or a private higher education institution, any good institution will be able to provide guidance and resources to their future students. Student counsellors will be able to provide insights into how current performance matches future options, and what is required in terms of intervention to ensure you can access your choice of qualification. Additionally, good institutions will be able to provide you with practical resources, such as papers from previous years. “The importance of prelims should not be underestimated, because they may very well influence your options down the line. For instance, a higher education institution may decide to withdraw a conditional offer if you did not perform well,” says Mooney. “However, using the learning from your prelims if things didn’t go to plan is one of the major reasons these exams exist in the first place. So if you resolve right now to take stock and take action, and throw yourself into preparing for your finals, there is a very good chance that you can turn things around and put in a final performance that will render unfortunate prelim results almost inconsequential.”

October 11, 2017

Review: Stretch Armstrong

This is a very authentic and extremely stretchy hero to little boys. You name it and Stretch Arms Strong can do it! The muscles of his body can be stretched from wall to wall. Once the stud has been stretched to his full capacity he will always return to his original shape! The stretchy elastic that he is made from allows your boy to stretch him, fold and wrap him into any shape almost that you can think of. Whilst this is such a basic toy concept, we were surprised at how much fun he was to play with once we got started. There are a few in the range which include: The Original Large Stretch Armstrong The Mini Stretch Armstrong The Mini Stretch Dog The Mini Stretch Octopus Suitable for ages 5 and up, this is a must on any Christmas List this year. For more information on the stretchy Stretch Armstrong, visit the Prima Toys Website by Clicking Here

October 10, 2017

Why it’s good to have boundaries

“No. Is a complete sentence.” Anne Lamott This week we’re talking about boundaries and the need to set them. Establishing what people can and cannot do or say to you (or in your presence) is incredibly healthy for any individual. Setting these emotional boundaries is useful as they establish baselines of acceptable behaviour in your world. They also tell the people that come across your path what you are prepared to accept and not. That way, when you are building relationships, people know upfront how you expect to be treated. More importantly, in this way, you proclaim your self-respect, and it helps to establish the mutual respect so crucial to building successful long-term relationships. The benefit of clearly communicating boundaries is that it helps people to avoid unhealthy and dysfunctional relationships. One way to figure out if those around you are aware of and respect your boundaries is the presence of people who leave you physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained after you’ve interacted with them. These people tend to expect you to drop everything and jump into whatever drama is playing out in their lives at the time, with no consideration for you or whatever is happening in your life. They can be inconsiderate, unpredictable, unreliable, and passive aggressive. They do it time and again, without ever offering to reciprocate the time and effort you invest. They are often close friends or family members, and dealing with them can be challenging (to say the least). The first step towards establishing boundaries is realising that some behaviour is inappropriate, and the second is communicating it. Both can be hard, as this may have been happening to you all your life. You see it as the norm, plus the people concerned are master manipulators. Just know that putting boundaries in place is essential to your emotional health and mental well-being. A wonderful way to deal with such people is to plan a kind but firm strategy in advance. For example, if you have a friend who resists all efforts to nail down a time for something like a Friday lunch, communicate the plans you’d like to include them in, but also provide a firm deadline by which you expect to hear from them. Tell them that your plans will proceed without them. And then stick to your guns, and do what you said you would. These people are sometimes known as “energy vampires”, and they will likely push back against your boundaries or ignore them entirely. In that situation, it’s up to you to continue communicating clearly and to stand your ground. One of two things will happen: they will give in and begin to respect your boundaries, or they will drift away from you – and both outcomes are good for you. Lastly, know that you have every right to establish boundaries. Not only are they essential for strong mental health, but they will also help weed presences from your life that aren’t contributing positively to your well-being. And that’s a huge win. If you need help to put boundaries in place or if you need to learn how to communicate them effectively please don’t hesitate to reach out. I have various coaching packages for individuals and organisations based on your needs and requirements. If you do not respect and honor yourself by putting boundaries in place, no one else is going to either.

October 10, 2017

How to Replace Screen Time with Foundational Reading Skills

Most parents are very aware that too much screen time for young children isn’t a good thing, but many are just as uncertain about what exactly the problem is and, importantly, how time can be more constructively spent without it becoming an additional daily burden adding to the stress of the adults. “Taking the guesswork out of quality family interaction, which also assists in the development of the child, is half the battle won,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. Eaton says parents who rely on some screen time to get a bit of a breather shouldn’t feel guilty, but adds that they should ensure they also spend time every day connecting with their children through activities. Activities, which are both fun and will aid the cementing of the skills they will require for reading success in future, can be woven into the daily routine. “We are constantly researching improved methods of teaching foundational reading skills from Grade 000,” says Eaton. “Research into the reading brain indicates that 40% of children learn to read easily, but 40% of children are at risk and 20% at severe risk. Over twenty thousand studies of children failing at reading in the USA indicated that the bottom 40% of readers lack phonemic awareness, which is the ability to hear, identify and manipulate individual phonemes – the smallest unit of sound in the spoken word.” Eaton says the human brain is wired for developing spoken language which is why, with good personal interaction, babies develop speech from an early age without intentional teaching. “But there is no automatic brain wiring for reading and spelling, so all aspects of these skills need to be taught systematically and explicitly. Modern life has increasingly seen young children spend significant amounts of time in front of screens, which focus their brains on visual more than auditory content. “The major problem with screen time is that much of the spoken content of what they watch is too fast and often indistinct, making them less likely to concentrate on it. This has impacted on the development of accurate listening skills.” This all sounds quite negative, but the good news is that brain repair and the re-routing and development of neurons are possible and that with correct teaching, the children who would have learned to read easily will read at a higher level while the ‘at risk’ children will be able to read well. So how can parents help their children? 1 – BY TALKING AND LISTENING “In these days of digital media, we are talking less to each other and much of the communication taking place is instructive: ‘It’s time to bath. Pick up your clothes” etc. Instead, try to focus on generating discussions, for instance talk about the highs and lows of your day; introduce topics such as, ‘if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be and why’, ‘tell us about the best thing you saw today’.” Eaton says it is important to ask open-ended questions (which don’t have a yes or no response), to elicit full answers. Dads are especially good at this! 2 – BY READING TO THEIR CHILD Read both fiction and factual books from a very young age and join the library to give a wider choice. Choose quality stories that link to your child’s interests, not just Disney ones, Eaton advises. “Let your child see you reading books and magazines. When you read a menu, shopping list, or road sign, involve your child and discuss how wonderful it is to be able to read and understand the information around you.” 3 – BY SINGING AND RECITING Sing songs, recite rhymes together and read poems. “Rhyming is such an important pre-reading skill, but fewer and fewer children learn any rhymes at home. Nursery rhymes are basically historical nonsense but children love them and they are easy to memorise,” Eaton says. 4 – PLAY WITH WORDS Play with compound words – breaking popcorn into pop and corn, fishtank into fish and tank etc. They make good car games, and make a walk to the shops shorter and more fun. I Spy is another fun favourite but use the sound at the beginning of the word, not the name of the letter. Cat starts with ‘c’ not CEE. Eaton says activities as listed above should be fun for adults and child, and should not become another chore for parents, but rather an easy, entertaining way to connect as they go through their usual routine in the morning and the evening. Additionally, to build solid listening skills, parents should not repeat instructions and comments, as this programmes a child not to listen the first time. “Parents should make eye contact (lower the phone!), and pay attention to what their child is saying so that they model the desired listening behaviour. Above all, be excited about your child’s developing language and literacy skills. “Investing quality time in your children can be achieved by including them in daily routines. Complementing this time with activities such as the above can make a tremendous impact on setting a child on the path to their own personal academic excellence,” she says.

October 10, 2017

Cookie	Duration	Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement	1 year	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Advertisement".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional	11 months	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy	11 months	The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_ga	2 years	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, campaign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assign a randomly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gid	1 day	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the website is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages visted in an anonymous form.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_gat_gtag_UA_18530557_4	1 minute	No description
pron_ip	session	No description
pvc_visits[0]	1 day	This cookie is created by post-views-counter. This cookie is used to count the number of visits to a post. It also helps in preventing repeat views of a post by a visitor.
tk_ai	session	Gathers information for WordPress by themselves, first party analytics tool about how WP services are used. A collection of internal metrics for user activity, used to improve user experience.