Advice from the experts
Kath Megaw

Eating During Pregnancy

When you discover you are pregnant for the first time – your whole world shifts. Up to this point decisions you made with regards to your eating only had a direct effect on your body. Suddenly what you eat affects your unborn baby in more ways than we even realized. Benefit 1: A good balanced nutritious diet will have all the necessary nutrients to allow for optimal growth of your little one! Keep it simple but healthy. You need to eat foods from all the food groups. Avoid fad dieting while pregnant as you will miss out on some essential nutrients. You need a range of fresh fruit and vegetables as this gives you the vitamins and minerals you and your baby need. Lutein is an anti oxidant found in green leafy vegetables and is very good for your babies immune system and brain development. Carotene is found in orange veggies and is very healthy for your babies eye and skin health. A healthy skin may be protective for your baby against allergies later on in life. Aim to eat at least five servings a day. Protein foods like meats, eggs, milk, nuts etc are very important for muscle development and for keeping your placenta well nourished with a healthy blood flow. Some pre term deliveries may result from a placenta that has ‘dried’ up too soon. So aim to eat at least 4 portions (palm size) daily. If you are struggling with nausea in these early days then it may be helpful to get a good supplement that you can take to ensure you meet you protein needs. Starch foods like rice, pasta, wholegrain breads and cereals are very important for energy for you and your baby and also for fibre. Like fruit the fibre in these whole grain products ensure that you stay regular when drunken with adequate water. Have 3 -4 servings of healthy low GI starch daily and at least 1.5L water through out the day. Fats like avocado, linseeds, flaxseeds, olives etc are important to provide the essential fatty acids necessary for you the mom to retain brain cells and for your little one to create new healthy brain cells. Aim to have 4 fat servings per day (1 tsp/serving or ¼ avocado). Benefit 2: A lot of ongoing research is looking at the moms diet and including high risk allergen foods and initially the thinking was that we should avoid allergens during pregnancy however this has not shown to be beneficial and may even be more harmful. The recommendations now are to include all allergen foods as long as you are not allergic to one of them. So avoid all foods except those you are allergic to. Benefit 3: Some very interesting and current research is going on at the moment around fussy eating and when foods were introduced to babies and its affect on fussy eating behaviour. We know that babies swallow amniotic fluid and we know that babies can taste tastes in the amniotic fluid. So there is some research looking at the variety of vegetables eaten by a mom and then acceptance of theses vegetables later. So in summary if you want your little one to eat his veggies it may all start in the womb!!!!

February 8, 2018
Trinity House

The curfew: Why is it so important

In times of both peace and unrest, the use of a curfew has ensured safety and control for “the people” and also those in authority. Putting a curfew in place for children and young adults serves a similar purpose. This topic, while controversial, is one that parents and guardians still find merit in, despite the popular, modern trend to be more lenient rather than restrictive. Curfews apply to children of all ages, and this extends to teens and young adults still living at home. There are several reasons that a curfew is an effective and valid parenting tool. One of the more “selfish” reasons a curfew can be considered is the fact that if there is a curfew in place it allows the parents to better plan their lives by applying times that suit them; and that the parents are not kept up waiting all night for a young person to return home! Knowing that parents require you home at a certain time will also enhance your sensitivity to the needs of others; resulting in social courtesy. This courtesy makes for a far more manageable household. On a less flippant note; a curfew assists in ensuring the safety of our young people. Often, it is not how our children behave that worries us as parents, but rather how others behave. Certain times of day/night may be considered safer than others and so adhering to a curfew could assist in keeping your young person in a safe environment during those more risky times. In addition to this, a young person who is required to leave at a certain time will often be able use his/her curfew as a reason not to engage in certain behaviour or not to go somewhere where he/she is not comfortable. This is a very useful tool that they will have at their disposal and may allow them to bow out of an unwanted situation gracefully. Curfews have been helpful in ensuring the safety of our young people from behaviours such as drinking, drugs, promiscuity and violence. In a day and age where there are so many threats to a young person’s safety, we need to be using every tool at our disposal. Although most teenagers would deny it; something they yearn for is structure and a level of discipline. To a young person a complete lack of structure and discipline could equate to a lack of caring. It is a time in their lives when they are being bombarded from every side with new things to do and try and there is pressure from every sphere of their lives. Trying to balance school, sport, a social life and so on takes some doing. A parent can really assist if they put a curfew in place for the sake of the child’s busy schedule. This allows the child to form good habits and take responsibility for his/her schedule. Learning to work towards -and around- a curfew, and learning the importance of being on time is a vital skill so many of us have lost. Surprisingly, adherence to a curfew is so much more than a simple disciplinary step taken by parents. Once a child becomes accustomed to it, he/she will find that the same discipline applies to studying/personal relationships and general work ethic. It is obviously important to ensure that the curfew is reasonable, manageable and indeed, that it is appropriate and valid. It is not to be used as part of an autocratic style of parenting, but rather as a tool that benefits all members of the family. Often negotiation between parent and child will allow for some interesting discussions. Negotiating a curfew will also allow the child to feel his/her opinion is taken into consideration. Ultimately, of course, the decision needs to be that of the parent. The negotiation of a “curfew discretion” needs to be considered by parents too where the child is perhaps participating in something out of the ordinary. There needs to be a degree of give and take around curfew times. While the setting of a curfew is a powerful and meaningful tool to add to your arsenal as a parent, there are some limitations that need to be taken into consideration. This is not a means to yield power over a young person, rather something that should enhance your relationship of mutual trust. Simply setting a curfew will also not change poor behaviour miraculously either. It might curb some behaviours, but parenting is so much more complicated than just the issue of being home on time. Going back to the historical reason for curfews in society (that of ensuring safety and control), I think that if one can do anything to ensure the safety of our children in a world where that has become increasingly difficult; we should be doing it. Written By: Clare Pretorius (Senior Deputy Principal of Trinityhouse Randpark Ridge)

February 8, 2018
Kaboutjie

8 Awesome Benefits of Pregnancy Massage

Massage is not just about it feeling good, it actually comes with many health benefits that you may not be aware of. Having a massage while you are pregnant can actually help to lessen some of the unpleasant pregnancy symptoms you may be suffering with as well as be a lovely way to unwind and relax. I had a pregnancy massage when I was 6 months pregnant and on my honeymoon. I really struggled with my first pregnancy and it was amazing to have that massage. The strangest thing though is that I felt the most amazing sensation of stress relief when the area in the crook of my elbow was massaged on the one side. When you are pregnant your body goes through some incredible changes and a massage can really help your body and your mind to cope better. If you are pregnant it is really important to highlight that you need to see a massage therapist that is qualified in prenatal massage. 1 Increased Blood Circulation This will bring more oxygen to mother and the baby, stimulating the lymphatic system. This will result in a stronger immune system and help to reduce toxins in the body. Increased blood circulation will also result in your baby getting better nourishment. An added bonus is that increase blood circulation will help prevent varicose veins from forming which is common during pregnancy 2 Massage Helps To Relieve Lower Back Pain Lower back pain is a common pregnancy symptom that can be caused by the hormone relaxin that causes ligaments that support the spine to relax. This can cause instability and pain. Pregnancy massage improves lower back pain through improving the lumbosacral tilt that occurs during pregnancy. 3 Relieves Depression and Anxiety In case you didn’t know, it is actually very common for postnatal depression to start during the third trimester of pregnancy instead of when you expect it to start (after your baby is born). Massage helps to stabilize hormone levels which can relieve anxiety and depression. Massage also releases endorphins that soothe and relax the mother. 4 Improved Sleep Any woman that has been pregnant knows how hard it can be to really relax and sleep well while pregnant. Due to massage relaxing the nervous system and extra feel good hormones moms to be will sleep better. In addition to the mom being more relaxed the other benefits of massage such as back pain relief will also make the mother more comfortable which will help her sleep better. 5 Decreased Swelling Edema, which is the swelling of joints during pregnancy, is caused by decreased circulation while pregnant as well as the increased pressure on major blood vessels. Having a pregnancy massage can greatly reduce edema by improving circulation and reducing the fluid collected in swollen joints. 6 Reduced Muscle Pain and Headaches During pregnancy your body changes and your center of gravity moves. In addition to this there is quite a bit of extra weight placed on muscles and joints. All these changes result in your muscles taking strain and can also result in headaches. Pregnancy massage can help to relieve this pain and to reduce any headaches if you are suffering from them. Pregnancy massage will also help you to keep better posture which will also in turn help to reduce muscle strains and pains. 7 Reduces Common Discomforts During Pregnancy Along with all the above benefits having a pregnancy massage can also help with lessening numerous other common pregnancy symptoms such as sciatica, heart burn, constipation, carpal tunnel syndrome, leg cramps and much more. 8 Prepares Your Body For Labor and Birth Studies has shown that women that have pregnancy massages have less complications during birth as well as fewer postpartum complications. These women reportedly had shorter hospital stays, shorter labors and less incidence of post natal depression.

February 7, 2018
Parenting Hub

How to create the ideal parent-teacher relationship

“It takes a village to raise a child” is a proverb which essentially means that it takes an entire community of different people interacting with children in order for them to grow and develop successfully. Each year, parents entrust their children into the hands of their teachers for the greater part of each school day. Children will begin to develop relationships with their teachers from the first day and these relationships will grow as the year progresses. “As parents, it is essential that we, too, begin developing a healthy relationship with our children’s teachers.  Studies have shown that children whose teachers and parents enjoyed solid, trusting, synergetic relationships were significantly more likely to make positive progress throughout the year,” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. Cindy gives the following tips to consider on how to create and sustain a healthy relationship with your child’s teacher: 1. Communication is key: Take a moment to meet your child’s teacher.  This is, of course, is easier done in the younger grades as most often, a younger child will have one ‘main’ teacher. It will be a lot easier to meet and connect with your older child’s teachers if you make the effort to attend the teacher-parent information evenings that are offered at their school in the beginning of the academic year. Teachers will use these meetings to explain their expectations of learners and their parents. Remember, teachers will not know what YOUR expectations are unless you communicate these. Information that will affect the learning of your child needs to be communicated as soon as these arise. 2. See yourself in partnership with the teacher in your child’s learning: You and your child’s teacher have a common goal; the personal an academic development of your child. Keep an open mind and always remember that the best interests of your child need to be the core focus of any conversation. 3. Remember that your child’s teacher is as human as you are: This means that mistakes are possible and that things may go wrong from time-to-time. Misunderstandings and challenges can severely damage a teacher-parent relationship if not handled swiftly and correctly. Negative teacher-bashing-comments are a sure-way to build walls instead of keeping the lines of communication open. Focus instead on finding positive, amicable solutions as a partnership-with-a-common-goal. 4. Try and get involved in assisting with school activities: This is not always possible for many working parents, but, there may be the rare occasion that an opportunity presents itself to be actively present in supporting the teacher and school. This is a wonderful way to get to know each other better. “Creating strong inter-personal relationships can take time,” Cindy explains. “How we choose to react to challenges and negative situations in a school setting will influence the outcomes of these essential relationships. Never forget that it takes a village to raise a child.  Teachers play a very big role in the lives of all children. Choose to enjoy a positive working relationship with your child’s teacher this year and you will be creating a happier learning experience for all,” Cindy concludes.

February 6, 2018
Kaboutjie

How to Budget for That Unexpected Pregnancy

An unexpected pregnancy can bring upon a slew of emotions.  Should you feel excited?  Should you feel stressed? Maybe a mix of both? Regardless of how you feel, there’s one thing for certain:  It’s going to put a damper on your budget, even if you’re doing okay today.  An unexpected pregnancy is possibly one of the most common life-altering events when it comes to your budgeting, and many soon-to-be parents are often shocked at how much a baby can really cost you. While my last pregnancy was expected, my first came as a shock.  I figured, at the time, I would have nine months to plan and it would be enough time to straighten out my financial obligations so that I could enjoy motherhood to its fullest.  After all, your babies don’t stay small for long, trust me on this one. To help you budget and enjoy your newborn instead of stressing out about your finances, here’s what I did when approaching my finances: Evaluate Your Needs It’s no secret a kid isn’t cheap.  In fact, the USDA says it can cost $245,000 to raise a child until they reach the ripe age of 18. During my pregnancy, I needed to focus on what my child would truly need to survive.  This included the obvious:  diapers, food, health care, a car seat, clothes and hygiene products.  Honestly, that’s it.  While a baby bouncer or one of those cute baby play mats are great, it really isn’t necessary, especially if you’re on a tight budget.  The same can be said about the furniture.  Don’t splurge on the fancy $800 diaper changing table made from cherry wood or that $500 designer branded diaper bag.  After all, it’s for a baby and things are going to get messy.  Don’t forget to throw a baby shower as your loved ones can pitch in and really help you with what you need.  Again, while it’s tempting to scan everything at the baby registry, again, only put the things you truly need.  If anything, ask for diapers as you will need lots! Even if you plan on having a baby shower, you still won’t get everything, so create a list of all the things you need, not want, and write down how much each item will cost if you were to be as frugal as possible.  For example, a gently used stroller can often be found at a local consignment shop for less than $50.  The same can be said about baby clothes.  Remember, your baby will outgrow their outfits fast, so don’t be surprised if they only wear it once or twice. Look at Your Healthcare Options The minute you know you’re pregnant, the first thing you will probably, and should do, is visit the OB/GYN. While it’s hard to budget for immediate healthcare since you will need it today, it’s so important to take care of your health and visit your doctor as soon as possible to get things rolling.  Even if you don’t have health insurance or feel your policy isn’t adequate enough, a good doctor’s office will be able to explain what you’re going to owe, help you setup a payment plan and/or even get you in contact with the state to see if you qualify for aid. Even if you have the best insurance policy possible, it’s important to research it to know what’s going to be covered as many policies have restrictions on who you can visit and how many appointments you can have. Taking Your Income and Expenses into Consideration With my first pregnancy, I was still finishing my bachelor’s degree, and at the time, I had to rely on my husband’s income, which is kind of scary now that I think of it.  While I was making some income working part-time freelance writing, it wouldn’t have been enough to pay the bills to survive.  Plus, I had to keep in mind that even if I had a great paying job, I would have had to take off a few weeks after the baby to recover.  For some, it could be even more time off if you were bed ridden during the pregnancy or had complications during the birth, so this is something to take into consideration. With all that being said, now is the time to start tracking your income and determine how much you can save when your baby is born.  Plus, using the list you made, as stated in my first point, you can determine how much you’re going to need for all the necessary supplies.  Even if you’re able to save $100 per month for the next nine months, this is an extra $900 that can go quite far in terms of diapers and formula.  Remember, your child is going to be your number one priority now, so it’s best to avoid eating out, drinking those fancy $10 drinks at the bar and taking those weekend getaways that cost $500.  Every dollar you can save can help save a lot of stress in the future, trust me. Aside from saving a fixed amount of money, it’s also important to plan what your expenses and income are going to look like when the baby arrives.  When the baby arrives, you’re going to want to figure out when you’re going to go back to work, and if you do, who’s going to take care of the baby?  Factor in the diapers, formula, daycare if needed and necessary starter accessories for survival.  Remember, a good daycare can easily cost $200 per week, if not more, in a higher cost of living area. Lastly, Don’t Panic! An unexpected pregnancy won’t be the end of the world.  When I really look back at it, there’s never a good time for a pregnancy as there always seems to be an excuse.  If you plan it right and you know where your money is going, your stress levels can lower quite a bit.  Plus, if your baby has the necessary essentials, a

February 6, 2018
Advtech Group

Great Careers that don’t require Degree Study (or even Matric)

As hundreds of thousands of prospective students attempt to secure a place at public universities, with only a fraction of them likely to be accommodated due to limited capacity, education experts have highlighted the need for school-leavers to consider the many exciting careers that are accessible without degree study. “Apart from the options available to these young people in the private higher education sector, there are also a myriad of options in the broader tertiary sector, where they can study towards workplace-geared qualifications that are in high demand,” says Elbie Liebenberg, Principal at Oxbridge Academy, a brand of ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. She says there is still too much of a fixation on degree study as the only solid path towards a sustainable career, when the reality is quite the opposite. “Our economy has many sectors, and businesses across all these sectors are desperate for young people who are technically qualified and experienced to fill a host of positions. Many of these positions don’t require someone who studied towards a degree, but rather someone who studied towards a qualification that gave them the technical expertise and the workplace readiness to be an asset from day one,” she says. Deon Roets, Academic Head at Capsicum Culinary School, agrees, saying that the tourism and hospitality industries, for instance, are growing apace, and constantly require new recruits. He says there are a number of programmes that young people can pursue to access the industry, even if they do not hold a matric certificate yet. “For instance, you only need to be 18 years old with Grade 10 to pursue an Occupational Certificate as Chef, or an International City and Guilds IVQ Level 2 in Patisserie,” he says. He says while for some qualifications it is necessary to already have knowledge or the basic principles of kitchen work, Capsicum has built the necessary basics into their programmes to assist learners, which means that on completion of any of the programmes, learners can progress into employment. “However it must be noted that while a Matric certificate isn’t always a necessity, this competitive industry requires a high level of commitment to excellence and training, particularly when culinary professionals intend to pursue high-level positions. It is therefore essential to ensure that those who are interested in pursuing such a career throw their all behind their professional development.” In the broader hospitality industry, there are also numerous career paths open to young people who don’t hold a Bachelor’s pass, says Erika Theron, Academic Dean at The Private Hotel School. She says Matriculants who are interested in the field have choices including a Diploma in Event Management and a Higher Certificate in Hospitality Management, among others. “These qualifications are intensive, work-focused ones which cover a broad spectrum of competencies, including accounting, sales and marketing, leadership, and HR Management and Business Communications, and will set you up for a successful future in the industry,” she says. There are also fantastic options outside of the hospitality and culinary industries, notes Liebenberg. She says at Oxbridge Academy, which serves more than 20 000 distance learning students every year, many opt to work while studying, gaining the necessary qualifications as well as experience at the same time. Fields of study include a wide spectrum of vocations, from Business Management, Educare, Financial Management, Human Resource Management, Marketing Management, and Tourism Management, to Public Management and Engineering courses. Students can start their studies at Oxbridge Academy without having completed Matric, and can end their study journey at National Diploma level upon successful completion of work based integrated learning. “It is imperative for those who didn’t pass Matric, those who didn’t achieve Bachelor’s passes, and those who weren’t able to secure a place for degree study to understand that getting a degree is only one of the paths to career success. Not only our country, but countries across the world, are filled with opportunities for those who are qualified in specific vocations. And the opportunity for success really is out there for those who identify their passions and interests, and pursue them, even if their route doesn’t include degree study.”

February 5, 2018
Parenting Hub

Childbirth education for an empowered birth

‘Empowering Birth’ is the theme of Pregnancy Education Month in February 2018, when childbirth educators, Bio-Oil and hospitals nationwide will be highlighting how education empowers expectant parents and helps create a better birth experience. For more details visit www.pregnancyeducation.co.za. Birth is the most natural process on earth and yet studies have shown that one in every four women describes her birth as traumatic, one in every five to 10 meets the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder and one in three or four has postpartum mood disorder. Studies have also found that women who fear childbirth experience longer labour and were more likely to need an emergency caesarean than those who did not. ‘There is a link between a lack of knowledge, fear and the experience of childbirth,’ says Lynne Bluff, national co-ordinator for the Childbirth Educators Professional Forum (CBEPF), which is partnering with Bio-Oil and hospitals nationally for Pregnancy Education Month 2018. With the theme ‘Empowering Birth’, the campaign highlights how pregnancy education empowers expectant parents and helps create a better birth experience. ‘It is so important that parents are comprehensively informed about birthing options safest for the mother and infant in the event of a low-risk, normal pregnancy,’ says Professor Suzanne Delport, neonatologist. Good childbirth classes, says Bluff, will equip parents with knowledge about all available childbirth options and the pros and cons of each, practical tips and techniques for the birth and after it, and the confidence that comes from knowing what to expect and how to cope. Ideally childbirth educators are nurses and midwives, as well as being parents themselves, who can prepare expectant parents for every aspect of childbirth and instil faith in their own ability and strength to give birth. ‘We believe that when parents are informed, any type of birth, from homebirth to caesarean, can be an empowering one. It shifts from a potentially overwhelming experience to one that is fulfilling, positive and, ultimately, beneficial to mother and child,’ says Anna Guerin of Bio-Oil. ‘There is simply no substitute for evidence-based information provided by qualified and experienced professionals. With quality childbirth education, parents are empowered and properly prepared in a warm and supportive way,’ says Bluff, who is also a registered nurse and midwife. “Although childbirth is one of life’s most significant milestones many parents are simply ignorant of the facts vital to decision making,” says Bluff. For example, many parents are not aware that when a baby passes through the birth canal, he or she picks up a multitude of micro-organisms that will benefit their health and guard against chronic illness for the rest of their life; or that there are a number of caesarean options available, some more friendly to mother and baby than others. And most of us know little of the interplay of birthing hormones that click in, one step at a time, to pave the way for birth, help manage pain and stress and give us the feeling of joy when seeing baby for the first time. To find out more about childbirth education, Pregnancy Education Month activities or to find a childbirth educator in your area, visit www.pregnancyeducation.co.za. #PregnancyEducationMonth #EmpoweringBirth

February 2, 2018
Parenting Hub

Disappointing Martic Results: Don’t Catastrophise – Strategise!

With the imminent release of the matric results of the Class of 2017, thousands of parents and learners who expect they may not have done as well as required are feeling anxious and uncertain about the future. While many of them will indeed have to come to terms with disappointing results, an education expert says it is important to know that there are a number of options that can get learners back on track. “The most important thing for both parents and learners having sleepless nights over their results, is to not panic,” says Fathima Razack, Head of Programme: Faculty of Commerce at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. “While it might feel like the end of the world at the moment, clear heads and a pragmatic approach are required to make the right decisions for the future,” she says. It is particularly important for adults to manage their response, as their emotional state could impact on the resilience of learners in the wake of the release of results. “Although parents and guardians may feel deeply disappointed, they should know that their first words and reactions may leave a lasting impact. “They should take stock and consider their unified position so that the energy can be focused on the learner and their next steps,” says Razack. The options open to learners who failed, but who are determined to still earn their National Senior Certificate, include: Sitting for the supplementary examinations. Sending papers for either a re-mark or re-check. Returning to school and re-registering for matric. Registering at another school to complete matric. Completing matric via distance learning. Those learners who passed, but didn’t achieve the marks required for entrance into degree study, have the following options: Sending papers for either a re-mark or re-check. Enrolling for a Higher Certificate at a higher education institution, which can give access to degree study. Enrolling for a Diploma which can give access to degree study. “It is also important to remember that while your marks may not have been good enough to get access to your first choice of course or institution, that doesn’t mean you have no other study options left. Quite the opposite in fact, so parents and prospective students should ensure that they have really investigated the offerings at both public universities and private higher education institutions. “Each university and private higher education provider set their own minimum criteria, and these requirements vary between institutions. An institution where the demand outweighs the availability of space may set this bar quite high, which means they are likely to accept only students who are very strong academically. Other institutions may have made provision for students who require more support, and will therefore have more accommodating admission requirements. “That means it may not be necessary to repeat Grade 12 or rewrite a subject, as there could be alternatives available in your chosen field of study,” says Razack. The most important thing to remember is that below par matric results don’t have to mean giving up on one’s dreams and aspirations, she says. “If parents and learners can handle this situation maturely, and strategise their next steps instead of getting stuck in a catastrophising mindset, disappointing performance could be just the catalyst needed to propel a learner in a new and better direction, with more determination and resolve than before.”

February 1, 2018
Amanda Marele

Surviving a Heterotypic Miscarriage

I had a heterotypic miscarriage and it was painful. Heterotypic pregnancy is when one is carrying twins, the one foetus grows in the uterus and another in the tube. It is rare in natural conception to have a heterotypic pregnancy, research estimates that 1 in 30,000 pregnancies are heterotypic pregnancies. I lost my first child on Christmas day. I had just finished preparing Christmas lunch and was taking a bath when I started vomiting, felt what the doctor later called ‘acute abdominal pain’. My 10year old son had to help me out of the bath, assist me while I was getting dressed (my mother, my husband and my nieces had gone to get some last-minute necessities for the lunch). My son called his dad who came rushing and took me to the hospital. At the ER, the doctor attending did a pregnancy test and the results were positive, she then told me that I was showing signs of an ectopic pregnancy. She wrote her diagnosis on my medical file and I was wheeled to the ward. When the gynaecologist arrived, he did a sonar and reconfirmed that I was indeed pregnant but that the pregnancy was in the womb and not an ectopic pregnancy. He then ordered the nurse to run some tests and in the morning told me that my oestrogen levels were higher than normal which meant that I was pregnant, however my oestrogen levels were lower than the previous day which meant that I was having a miscarriage. He further explained that I would undergo a ‘minor procedure’ i.e. evacuation of the womb. December 26, 2016, I went for evacuation of the womb. I did not feel better, I was still bloated, I still could not do much, I was in pain. 10 January 2017: I was back in the hospital and the diagnosis, ruptured ectopic. At 3 am that morning I felt so much pain, it felt like period pains, at the same time I was freezing cold and sweating at the same time. I woke my husband up and asked him to call someone to take us to the hospital (he panics so I’d not have made to the hospital). I told him that I was feeling faint and the next thing I remember is being carried out of the house to the car; by this time, I was vomiting and without energy. I woke up in the ER briefly and the next thing I remember is waking up in ICU, surrounded by doctors and nurses who looked very concerned. Now when nurses get concerned and curious, then I know something is not good. “My dear can you hear me?” one of the nurses asked, I nodded. As she put lip balm on my lips she said “You look much better than you did last night…” she then told me that my doctor was on his way and he will discuss a few things with me. My doctor arrived he looked at my medical file and when the nurse asked what the diagnosis was, he simply showed her the file. When my husband asked him what the diagnosis was, he said; “Don’t worry about that now, let’s take care of your wife’s health.” I went to the theatre for a laparoscopy. In the surgery, three fairly small incisions were made, two in my tummy and one in the navel; and because my tubes were ruptured, the fallopian tube containing the pregnancy was surgically removed. Upon my return to the ward, my doctor seemed to be concerned about something, he asked the nurse how much was ordered and the nurse replied “two”. “No no! We need five at least and we need it within the next hour” my doctor said. Moments later blood was delivered, the nurse explained to me that I had lost blood. “It happens with ruptured ectopic pregnancies, so now your heart is pumping faster, trying to compensate for the blood loss and is beating at twice the normal rate. You need at least five blood ”. The nurse had been coming to my bedside at least three times a day just to see how I am and explain to me what the next steps would be. Some struggles after the surgery: I went through physio therapy, to learn to walk and move I was constipated for about two weeks I was on schedule 5 pain medication for weeks I had no appetite I could not play my children or sleep because the pain was unbearable A week after I was discharged from the hospital, I went for a check-up and the doctor told me that I had had a Heterotypic pregnancy. He apologised for not seeing the issue when I’d come in on Christmas day. It only hit me as I set at home counting that in September 2017 I could have been a mother to twins, that I had to be at death’s door to get a proper diagnosis. My doctor apologised and told me that he did not know which of my tubes were removed, to this day I do not know. Perhaps mommies will learn to ask their doctors to not only check the womb but the tubes as well, to avoid or diagnose what may be missed. To my unborn children, I’d have loved you, as I do now

February 1, 2018
DadSolo

Five Challenges of Being a Single Dad and How to Overcome Them

As a single dad, you’ve got an amazingly challenging job. Chances are, you didn’t plan on going down this road. But here you are, managing a household single-handedly while raising a child (or several!) and holding down a job. You’re basically called upon to be Superman, without the cape or superpowers. If it’s any consolation, in 2016, there were 2.5 million men in your same boat according to the U.S. Census Bureau.  Below are five challenges you might face, as well as ways to overcome them as you take on the most important job of your life. Lack of a Support System Single dads often hesitate to seek out other dads for advice or assistance. Own the fact that you can’t possibly know or do everything by yourself. Bouncing ideas off another single dad is not only helpful, but comforting. Look to your children’s school, your place of worship, or other organizations such as a single-parent support group.  Also, don’t hesitate to say yes to your friends and family when they offer their help! Juggling the Demands of Work and Family As a single parent, you wear the hats of cook, nurse, teacher, chauffeur, coach, and on and on. The importance of managing your time has never been more crucial so you don’t end up chronically exhausted and with no time for yourself. Some tips that help are: Prepare as much as you can for morning the night before. Lay out clothes to wear, set the table for breakfast, prepare lunches and have school bags all set to go. Make your bedtime routine consistent. It’s hard to plan for some alone time in the evening if your kids go to bed at different times each night. Keep a folder for each child so you always know where to find all of their information, from medical and school records to their birth certificates. Multitask when possible. Pay bills or purchase gifts online while you’re sitting in a waiting room. Use your phone’s headset so you can do chores while making phone calls. Whenever you cook a meal, always double (or triple!) the recipe and freeze the extras. Find an organizational system that works for you, be it using Post-it notes on a family wall calendar or using an organizing app. You need a way to keep track of all of those doctor visits, soccer games, and parent-teacher conferences. Free apps like Cozi keep everyone’s activities and appointments all in one place and creates and shares shopping lists, chores, and more in real time. Remember when your mom used to say, “A place for everything and everything in its place?” She knew what she was talking about. One of the biggest time-wasters is looking for lost items. Make sure that things are put away in their place so you always know where they are. Neglecting Your Mental Health When your head is constantly consumed with all of the details involved with raising a family, it’s easy to neglect your own mental health. Over time, this can lead to burnout.  Never has it been more important that you take care of your overall well-being. Mental health experts note, “The way you eat, drink, love, and cope with stress, depression, anxiety, and sadness all play a big role in the state your mental health is in. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take a step back and ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing for you, and not the easiest thing.” Your daily plans should always include time for yourself to regroup and recharge. Gender Challenges with a Daughter What do you do when you’re out and about and your young daughter needs to use the restroom? If possible, find a family restroom or a unisex one. These are generally always present at shopping malls, airports, and even Starbucks. If that’s not possible, and she’s not ready to use the women’s restroom by herself yet, take her into a stall in the men’s restroom. Explain to her before entering that she must respect the privacy of any men in the restroom by not looking in their direction. Before you know it, puberty will be right around the corner, and your girl will be getting her first period.  Remember, the more nervous you come across, the more embarrassed and awkward your daughter will feel, so do your best to act like this is just as natural as can be. Be prepared ahead of time with some Maxi-pads and panty liners on hand. Enlisting the help of an aunt, grandmother or older female friend can also be very beneficial for those talks of a more “intimate” nature as well as shopping for her first bra. Lack of Flexibility at the Workplace  Researchers at The Center for WorkLife Law at the UC Hastings College of the Law published a series of studies that explore barriers men face in the workplace as they try to balance work and family demands. They found that: Men are often reluctant to seek out flexible working arrangements because they fear what this might do to their careers. They are subjected to more workplace harassment than their childless counterparts. Men who request family leave are perceived as uncommitted to work and are at increased risk for being demoted and/or receiving less pay. In an article in the Harvard Business Review titled, “What’s a Working Dad to Do?” fathers are encouraged  to talk about their family at work and use work flexibility responsibly. The author states this is not a man’s issue; it’s a family issue that affects us all. While you may not be seen as Superman in the world, chances are, you’re seen as him in your home. The bond you have with your child may actually be stronger than it would have been had you not been a single parent. At the end of the day, it’s you who hears, “I love you, Daddy,” as you tuck your child into bed. That alone can make all of the challenges more than

January 29, 2018
Parenting Hub

1st Year Failure: Review your options, but don’t check out of your dreams

With the release of university results in coming weeks, many first years have to face up to the fact that their transition from school to higher education was less successful than planned, and that they need to re-evaluate their current path. While it might seem that there are no options but to throw in the towel, those who failed or under-performed in their first year actually have a number of ways to still realise their dream career, an education expert says. “It is not a pleasant position to be in if you just finished your first year of study and you didn’t pass as well as you had hoped to, or as well as your family and friends have expected you to.  Now is the time though to be courageous and honest with yourself and others by re-assessing the situation, and making the changes required to get back on track,” says Natasha Madhav, Senior Head of Programme: Faculty of ICT at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. “It is very important for both students and parents to realise that not getting it right the first time doesn’t make one a failure. Instead, the situation should be regarded as a temporary – if inconvenient and costly – hurdle, and a wake-up call for thoughtful reflection.” Madhav says the transition from school to higher education is a very challenging one on many fronts, but that those who didn’t rise to the occasion on the first try have a number of steps they can take to start their new year with new direction and determination. She advises students to: MAKE SURE OF YOUR FACTS It is important that you work out the facts of your situation – are you eligible for a supplementary assessment or a re-mark on any of the subjects?  How will this impact on you graduating?  What is the best way to re-organise your curriculum to still graduate as soon as possible?  If you really need to change course can you take any credits with you?  What are the cost implications of all of this information and how can you fund it? “While these facts feel overwhelming to gather and organise, the reality is that you will make better decisions if you are more certain about the absolute reality of what you need to manage,” says Madhav. MEET WITH A STUDENT OR CAREER COUNSELLOR “The transition from school to college or university can cause many students to feel isolated and overwhelmed during their first year,” she notes. “For many students, failure in the first year is not necessarily a reflection of their academic ability, but rather an indication of an underlying issue. It is perfectly normal to need time to adjust to the social, emotional, and mental hurdles of university or college life. Even if you feel emotionally sound, talking with a counsellor about ways to achieve academic success can help keep you on track.” Madhav says that student and career counsellors will take students through different options to ensure that they have chosen the right qualification and, if not, to identify fields better suited to the student’s personality and career aspirations. It may, for instance, be a good idea to first pursue a Higher Certificate, before pursuing degree studies. It may also be that there is a more suited qualification within the chosen field. “Knowing what your options are – and making sure you are on the right track before continuing – is an important part of ensuring future success,” says Madhav. SPEAK TO THE LECTURERS OF THE COURSES YOU FOUND MOST CHALLENGING “Identifying those subjects that were most challenging, and potentially had a decisive impact on your results, is an important step,” says Madhav. She says that seeking advice from lecturers can help students to overcome past challenges and identify new approaches to areas they found particularly discouraging. “Asking your lecturers for additional resources that you can engage with over the holidays can also help better you prepare for success next year,” she says. SET UP A NEW STUDY PLAN “To ensure success in the new year, devise a plan to help you stay on track and succeed the second time around. Better note-taking in class and using your smartphone to record your lectures can make it easier to study for exams in future. “Social collaboration can also improve learning,” says Madhav. She suggests creating a blog or Facebook group where students can invite other students to share notes and engage, to keep motivated and learn from peers. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO YOU Madhav says that any good public university or private institution is filled with resources to ensure student success, including online. “Identify online lectures, video labs and tutorials that are relevant to the course you are studying.  Also enquire about individual tutoring or assistance available on campus. One-on- one learning, whether in person or online, is a great way to go over tougher subject matter that might not get addressed during class time,” she says. IDENTIFY A MENTOR Making a connection with a mentor that you respect can help you feel less isolated, optimise your educational experience and provide you with ongoing guidance and support. “A good mentoring relationship is often characterised by mutual respect, trust, understanding, and empathy. A good mentor will also be able to share life experiences as well as technical expertise. In the end, they create an atmosphere in which the student’s talent is nurtured and fostered. Seeking help from an expert will make your studies seem less scary and more attainable,” says Madhav. COMMIT TO YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELLBEING “Don’t allow what should be a temporary setback to impact on your health,” says Madhav. “While you may feel very down at this stage, commit to keeping fit and eating healthy foods. Not only will this positively influence your ability to handle this challenging time, but it will also ensure your brain is in tip-top shape when you resume your studies.” Sharing our content

January 26, 2018
Mia Von Scha

Lighting Up the Dark Issue

Almost all children become afraid of the dark at some point – usually around the age of 2-6 years old. At that time their imaginations are running wild and they also become more aware of the greater world and the dangers that lurk within it. I always think about how much safer I feel with my husband sleeping next to me before I judge kids on being afraid of sleeping alone! There are two ways to handle this, based on your own preference… You can let your child sleep in your room. It may take some time to get her out again though – possibly years depending on personality – but I guarantee that you will not have a 16 year-old who is still sleeping in your room. The other option is to brainstorm with your child. It goes like this: Acknowledge her feelings and give her a chance to explore them deeper. Let her know that you understand it can be scary being in the dark. Speak less and listen more. Let her tell you just how afraid she is. Often, if the bad feelings are given a chance to be heard they go away on their own. Never, ever dismiss the feeling by telling her not to be scared. Let her know (briefly) how you feel – that you don’t sleep as well when she’s in your room, that you also need time with the other parent, that being woken up at night makes you tired and grumpy, etc. Brainstorm ways to sort out the problem. Write down ALL ideas without evaluating them at all. Let her start and give more answers than you. ALL ideas are accepted at this point (even if she says she wants to sleep in your room and you are not ok with that). Evaluate the things you’ve written down and come up with workable solutions. Let her start by rejecting one or two of your ideas first. If she has some ideas that are unacceptable to you (e.g. sleeping with all the lights in the house on) then let her know why it wouldn’t work (it would cost too much) and then see if you can modify the idea into a workable solution (e.g. Having automatic lights with sensors that turn on if she walks to the bathroom). There are many ideas that you can add to the list (but, again, let her come up with some ideas before you contribute)… Having a baby monitor so you can hear her if there’s an issue. Letting her snuggle with something of yours that smells like you (e.g. your dressing gown) Drawing a picture of the thing in the dark that is scaring her and burning it Getting a dream catcher or special teddy to protect her Having a monster hunt before bed Have a “dark survival” kit next to her bed (include a torch, magic wand, music box, etc.) But most important is to acknowledge her fear as real for her. She is not trying to be difficult. I would add to this by playing games in the dark (like making shadow puppets with a torch) or doing fun activities such as marshmallow braais so that she starts enjoying the dark. You can also read books about how other kids have overcome the dark. My favourite is “The Dark” by Lemony Snicket http://www.takealot.com/the-dark-lemony-snicket-and-jon-klassen/PLID35350525 And definitely avoid scary movies / books / etc. particularly before bed Sleep tight!

January 25, 2018
Parenting Hub

Creating a Calming Bedtime Environment for your Toddler


By Jolandi Becker – Good Night Consultant Busy toddlers can often eat less and sleep less because they are too busy and active.  They just don’t seem to have the time for it.  But they still require 11 – 12 hours of sleep at night and 1.5 – 3 hours of sleep during the day. A calming bedtime routine helps signal the brain that sleep is coming and helps with the production of melatonin (the hormone that makes us sleepy).  Think Spa-environment when thinking of your bedtime routine:  it should be winding down time and not winding up time. Here are a few tips to help your toddler to switch off after a busy day playing and moving: The bedtime routine is important time to spend one on one time with our toddlers.  Especially when we are working all day or when new baby has been added to the family.  This is a time that should be uninterrupted without cell phones, babies or life to distract.  Each parent should have some time during the bedtime routine to focus on their toddler.  Kids crave time with us and after long day the bedtime is a wonderful bonding time. A common mistake parents make once babies become toddlers is to move the bedtime later.  Up until the age of 5 years children still require 11 – 12 hours of sleep at night and more often than not tend to wake early in the morning.  It is thus important to keep aiming for 19h00 bed time.  Stalling tactics often happes when toddlers are overtired and over stimulated.  “I want something to eat”  “I want to say good night to the dogs.”  “I want to go pee.”  “I want something to drink.”  These are easily avoidable when rather aiming for earlier bedtime than a later one. A bath as part of the bedtime is a great starting point.  The warmth from the water helps with the production of Melatonin.  It is impossible to keep a toddler calm in a bath but if they do get too excited rather keep the bath shorter.  If they enjoy playing in water, water play should be an activity during playtime not bedtime. Add some Magnesium Bath Salts to the bath water.   Magnesium has proved benefits which include improved oxygen use and absorption of nutrients.  It also helps with inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps.  It helps to calm the toddler’s body and also assists with growing pains. Once you are done with bath include calming and breathing activities.  As you put cream on your toddler massage their body while they are lying down on the floor.  Indicate to them their different body parts while you massage talking slowly and calmly.  “Feel your head. Feel your neck. Feel your shoulders. Feel your belly.  Feel your legs. Feel your feet.”   Most toddlers love cuddle time and enjoy massages.  This is a great tool to make them focus and switch off. TV, cell phones, tablets and computer screens have what we call blue light.  Blue light inhibits the production of melatonin.  Thus 2 hours before bedtime try to avoid television. New studies also suggest that too early screen viewing has negative effects on language development, reading skills and short term memory.   With screen time is also not just about what they are doing/watching but also about what they are not doing.   For gross motor development it is important for kids to move around and play. Reading stories is a wonderful habit to include as part of the bedtime routine.  Of course there is endless benefits for this including increase in vocabulary, better understanding of words but  one of the main benefits is that it gives parents time to spend with their children doing something constructive. For toddlers it is a good idea to set boundaries with these kind of activities from the start.  Read only 2 stories (not 2 books, some books have more than one story).  Your toddler can choose the stories but keep a healthy boundary to avoid them wanting to read more and more.   Also have healthy expectations with their attention.  Most 18 month olds should not be expected to listen to an entire story, with them they will mostly want to hold book and turn pages themselves and mostly just look at pictures.  Once your toddler is closer to 3 years of age they should be able to listen to a short story. Keep all lights dim and off once they sleep.  Set the stage for sleep.  So only keep on a bedside lamp during the reading and massage part of your routine.  Once you put your little one in the cot make sure to put all lights off.  Darkness helps with the production of melatonin.  A night light should only be introduced if your little one asks for one insistently. More often than not parents also link toddlerhood with moving them to a big bed.  Avoid moving your toddler to a bid bed to soon.  The main reason is safety.  You do not want your two year old to be able to roam your house when you are sleeping.  A good time to move them is around 2 and half to 3 years of age. References https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Why-to-Avoid-TV-Before-Age-2.aspx https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/tv-violence-and-impact-on-children#1 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2016/11/09/how-to-bond-with-your-child-through-reading/

January 24, 2018
Parenting Hub

How will your kids cope with migration?

By David Dadic, Pathway Lawyers and Migration Agents The process of migration can be overwhelming and scary for a host of reasons and factors. There is no doubt, however, that the most scary for a parent migrant is how their child or children will transition to a new country. All migrant parents, including myself, have spent many hours awake, fraught with concern and worry, not only about whether taking your child away from their birth country is the right decision, but also whether your child will happily adapt to a completely new and foreign environment. As hard as it may be to believe, your children will probably surprise you with how quickly and easily they adapt to their new country – especially if they’re younger. For your peace of mind, and to make it ever easier for your kids to adapt, once you arrive there are a few things you can do to make the transition even easier: (1) start a routine as quickly as possible – this helps provide continuity between the two countries, and can help bridge the gap (2) Skype any friends your child wants to keep in touch with, and of course, Skype family members regularly – this can help your kids feel more connected, and should help them settle in more smoothly (3) get your kid settled in a comfortable bedroom that makes them feel safe – once it feels like home, they’ll settle into the idea that they’re here for good, and not just on holiday (4) encourage your child to make lots of new friends, which not only gets them (and you) to meet new people, but will also keep them busy if their struggling to settle in. The ability of kids to make lots of new friends as quickly as possible is significantly improved by the fact that the Australian schooling system is such that most primary schools are suburban-based. Because of that, there is a strong sense of community built around the local school system, where kids and parents spend a lot of time together in the area, both in and out of the school environment. On any given day, you’ll see hordes of parents and children walking together to and from school in the mornings and afternoons. On the weekends, those same kids and parents will in all likelihood play for the same sports clubs, or spend time in the same local parks. There is a lot of communal interaction which significantly improves and fosters those personal relationships. The adapting for South African children to the Australian school system is also made a lot easier by the fact that the Australian school system is similar in many respects to the South African system. The academic year is exactly the same, in that it commences during January and ends in December, and is also divided into four terms. The schooling years also commence in Grade R (Kindergarten) and runs through to Grade 12 (called Year 12). Albeit that the curriculums may be different in terms of the content taught, it generally isn’t difficult for a child in the same Grade in South Africa to transition to the same Year in Australia. According to this article by US News & World Report, Australia is the 4th-best country in the world for education, based on two equally weighted country attributes, including a well-developed public education system. Importantly, Australian permanent resident visa holders enjoy the benefit of their children receiving a world-class public education in Australia for free. Before you leave South Africa, your biggest fear will no doubt be that your children will struggle with the move. It’s impossible not to worry about such things, but your children will surprise you with how easily they settle in. Pathway Lawyers & Migration Agents has advisors who are uniquely both RMAs and lawyers, so we are best placed to help you with each and every aspect of your move to Australia. Join our Facebook group, Migrating to Australia, where you can have all your questions answered. You can email us for a free consultation. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 23, 2018
Parenting Hub

Avoiding the Morning Rush

Written By: Nigel Sloane (Headmaster at Pecanwood College: Preparatory) We have all experienced it before. As you are getting into the car to go to school, your six year child reminds you that she needs something for “show and tell” that begins with the letter “Y”. You are already late for school and now spend the next twenty minutes looking for a yo-yo or a toy Yak! The result of this sort of thing is a stressed and worried youngster arriving at school, who will not give of her best at school for the day. Not only that, but you as a parent are probably also stressed and up-tight knowing that you are going to be late for your eight thirty appointment. The secret is to do as much as you can the afternoon/evening before and look at the various aspects of a school day. To do this you need to have a school calendar, fixture list and make sure that you are up to date with school happenings. Reading the school newsletter and keeping up to date with the homework diary will give you a head start. As with all things, planning and preparation are the key. A well placed white board with all the week’s happenings is also a very good idea. Preparation is the key: Time needs to be spent every afternoon or evening listening to reading, helping with whatever homework that there is and generally ensuring that your child is up to date. Make sure that you have read the homework diary and that everything needed is in the bag for the next day. This includes stationary, library books and any items such as a toy for “show and tell”. Do all of this in conjunction with your child so that they can learn about planning and independence. Check the diary or fixture list and see if any sports clothing is required. In summer there may be days when swimming takes place and it is essential that the costume is in the bag. Throw in a towel and warm clothing if needed. If there are regular item such as hats or sunscreen, make sure that these are in the bag. Leave the bag in an easily accessible place near the front door. Once again, involve your child in the process. Get that lunch box and juice ready. Either have it in the fridge if there is something perishable, or actually put it in the school bag. Set out the clothes and shoes for the next day on a chair in the bedroom to ensure a speedy get up and go session in the morning. This will avoid the shock of discovering in the morning that all her socks are still in the washing machine. Other tips to avoid problems include making sure that all clothes, sporting items and all personal possessions are labeled. Hopefully this will cut down on items going missing and causing more stress in your preparation. Plan the breakfast and set it out if possible the night before. If you can encourage your child to get started on their breakfast without supervision, this in itself will save you precious time. With time, hopefully you will be able pass on many of these responsibilities to your child so as to create an independent and responsible youngster who can do things for themselves. As parents it is vital that we teach children how to look after themselves; however they do need to learn these processes. These are not skills that children will just acquire, but rather that they need to be taught.

January 22, 2018
Parenting Hub

Play is crucial for early child development

Only 29 percent of South African children have access to safe, child-appropriate play areas in their communities, this according UNICEF, but a local organisation – Play Africa is championing for this change countrywide. Gretchen Wilson-Prangley, CEO of Play Africa – a social enterprise organisation driving inclusive public learning for the country’s most vulnerable says play is “exceedingly important” for children of all ages and an integral part of early learning and healthy social development. “Neuroscience has confirmed that the first few years of a child’s life is crucial for early learning. And play forms part of early learning and is far more valuable than we realise,” she says. Wilson-Prangley says play sparks imagination, enhances creativity and problem solving capacities, promotes teamwork and helps to instil empathy and compassion for others. “I believe in the importance of helping to advance children’s basic rights and this includes the right to play,” she says. And since many South African children lack toys and other learning materials that can help stimulate a range of child-initiated, open-ended activities which bolster cognitive, physical, social and emotional development, Wilson-Prangley explains that her organisation seeks to promote one single message – there is no cost to play. Their workshops encourage parents and children to make use of everyday materials when playing. “We demonstrate just how to transform everyday items into play materials using the imagination. Few people know that you’re able to make a robot or a rocket ship using clean milk containers, or a car out of empty loo paper rolls. What’s important is the process and the imagination and creativity it stimulates,” she says. Further, she says play is a “good way to engage” and helps children make use of their imagination; she also describes it as “pleasurable and enjoyable”. “Playing overall gives children an opportunity to stretch their thinking and imagination, it also invites repeated active engagement which is highly beneficial for children of all ages,” Wilson-Prangley says.  

January 19, 2018
Parenting Hub

“Help, my child is behaving badly at school!”

The trouble with bringing children into the world is that they do not arrive with user manuals!  How much easier would it be if we could troubleshoot in a manual and find the solution that would solve their problems with minimal mess and fuss! As parents, one of our deep-rooted fears is that our children may behave badly whilst at school, upset their teacher, classmates or, worse, the Principal (whom we have learnt to fear from our own childhood misdemeanours)! As a mom and teacher, Cindy Glass Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres can relate. She offers some advice and a new perspective to parents who are navigating the world of not-so-perfect kids. She starts out by acknowledging that negative behaviour at school can affect all who associate with the individual who has behaved badly.  Parents, in particular, can feel angry, frustrated and even helpless when their child consistently chooses negative, self-harming behaviours. “It is very easy for a parent to slip into ‘reaction’ mode and punish the child in ways that they may have experienced as a child. It takes great courage, however, to choose to understand these behaviours and find positive, creative solutions,” says Cindy. She adds, “Consider this:  Every choice we make, every action we take is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person!  Negative behaviours at school have a solid and powerful root – FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear that the teacher will notice that he is struggling to understand the work, fear of being alone and fear of not being noticed and acknowledged. Think about it!   Many children would rather get into trouble for negative behaviours than it be discovered that they are not coping with the pressures of school!” So what can you do? Cindy says that children need to understand that all actions have consequences. “Positive choices result in positive consequences and the same applies to negative choices.  Being consistent in your expectations and consequences is essential.” “Fair, dependable boundaries are key to establishing a sense of stability within children. It takes courage not to shout, get excessively angry or perhaps even physically harmful toward a child who consistently misbehaves.  I STRONGLY recommend that you read the book: ‘Have a new kid by Friday”, by Dr Kevin Leman.  I did and it completely changed my approach to dealing with my children!” Cindy exclaims. Most of all she reminds parents that harmful words and actions destroy children and says that you should try teaching your child to value WHO HE IS and is so doing, overcome his fears. How? “Do this by choosing to value who YOU are!” says Cindy. There are no easy solutions, but with determination, patience and tons of love, you will be rewarded with more positive behaviours and it will be worth it! Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Handy homework hints

Homework is generally a painful process that is rarely met with excitement and anticipation. In fact, Cindy Glass, Co-Founder of Step Up Education Centres, the after-school remediation and tutoring franchise says, “In all my years teaching, I have yet to meet a parent or learner who cannot wait to do extra school work in the afternoons!” Whilst countries like Japan, the Czech Republic and Denmark assign little to no homework, South Africa doesn’t follow the same trend. “For us, homework is unavoidable, it is simply a part of our schooling system, whether we like it or not,” says Cindy. With that in mind, Cindy says that we need to not only find a way to help our children complete their homework tasks, but help them to enjoy doing it as well! She offers the following handy homework tips: Create a fun, practical workspace  It is important to assign one specific area in the house to do all school tasks. By doing this you will train your brain to automatically kick into work-mode when you sit down. Have a desk and comfortable chair Have all the necessary stationary Make the space beautiful – display art or any awards/reward charts to keep your child motivated Keep it neat Switch off all distractions for the duration of the homework time Cell phones, TV, games and sometimes even music can be a distractor for both parents and learners. As a result, you both need to switch off (or place on silent) all digital devices. If you are a learner, let your friends know you will be unavailable for that period If you are a parent, switch your phone on silent as cell phone noises can be very distracting, prolonging the homework experience Be clear on what needs to be done By knowing exactly what needs to be done and by when, you will find it easier to complete the task. Use a whiteboard to list the tasks that need to be completed on that day Start with the easy tasks first as this will give your child an immediate sense of achievement For older learners who have projects or longer assignments, decide which part of each will be completed on that day, in addition to daily homework Tick off each task as you complete it Get extra help if you are stuck! For parents, ‘Google’ will tame many-a-challenge.  Phone a friend if you need to.  Whatever you do – do NOT behave negatively – explain to your child that there is a solution to every problem and you can work together to find it! If your child is struggling consistently, seek professional help from an after-school remediation centre. For older learners, make sure that they listen carefully in class. They need to ask their teacher if they are unsure of what is required. Remember, your child is not always going to feel okay about doing homework.  Whenever this happens, Cindy suggests that you incorporate what she calls the ’10-minute rule’, “The first 10 minutes of anything is the worst.  Get through those 10 minutes and you will find that the work will flow more easily and they will begin to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.”

January 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Kangaroo Mother Care

Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC) is a way of caring for premature babies through skin-to-skin contact with their moms. It’s recommended for premature or ill babies because they miss out on critical time in the womb where they would have constantly heard their mother’s soothing heartbeat and been encapsulated in her body’s warmth and safety while getting continuous nourishment and care. Named after kangaroos that carry their babies in their pouches, the method can also be done by fathers, helping them bond with their babies. Huggies® expert, Lynne Bluff, a registered nurse, midwife and childbirth educator sheds some light on this subject. What is Kangaroo Mother Care? Kangaroo mother care (or skin-to-skin care), is a simple, easy method of caring for newborn infants where the baby is placed with just a Huggies® nappy (so mom and baby aren’t continually covered in wee and poo), on its mother’s chest – skin to skin with nothing between the two. Mom can then wrap a shirt around her and her baby, keeping the baby in an upright position between her breasts. Mom uses her own body heat to keep her little one warm.  The human body is incredible, a new mom’s body has the ability to heat or cool her chest in response to the baby’s temperature and in so keeping baby at a well-regulated temperature. When it comes to kangaroo care, more is better. The first two hours after birth are the most important, in terms of easing baby into the world. After that, continued skin-to-skin contact can still be beneficial, especially for preemies that have low birth weights. Consider it an alternative to an incubator. It is also recommended that preemies get frequent kangaroo care for the first 20-plus weeks of life. Do it as long as baby enjoys it, when your baby starts fussing and trying to get off your chest, it’s a good sign it’s time to let him or her do their own thing. What are the benefits of kangaroo care? It helps baby adapt: when your baby was in the womb, they didn’t need to regulate their own temperature. By having your baby skin to skin, it regulates and stabilises their temperature. It boosts baby’s mental development: preemies who received kangaroo care had better brain functioning at 15 years old¹ – comparable to that of adolescents born at term – than those who had been placed in incubators. By stabilizing heart rate, oxygenation, and improving sleep, the brain is better able to develop. Also, the hormones that aid mental growth and stability are activated by skin to skin, whereas a baby not in skin to skin contact with their mom is on high alert and this causes added stress to the little one. It promotes healthy weight: skin-to-skin contact dramatically increases newborn weight gain. When babies are warm, they don’t need to use their energy to regulate their body temperature. They use that energy to grow instead. It makes breastfeeding easier: newborns instinctively have a heightened sense of smell, so placing your baby skin-to skin helps them seek out the nipple and begin breastfeeding. In fact, moms who practiced kangaroo care were more likely to breastfeed exclusively and, on average, these moms breastfed three months longer than those who didn’t practice skin-to-skin care². Premature babies initially will need to be fed expressed breast milk via a nasogastric tube as the sucking reflex may not yet be developed. But once the baby is feeding on its own, the breast becomes very accessible for the babies that are skin to skin with their moms. It helps you make milk: when mom and baby are together, hormones that regulate lactation will help you produce more milk. It reduces baby’s stress and pain: just 10 minutes of skin-to-skin contact reduces baby’s’ levels of stress and makes babies feel calm and safe. Research has shown that when preterm infants are held skin to skin, they react less to heel pricks, a minimally invasive way to draw blood, and a common source of pain among preemies. It helps baby sleep: less stress means better sleep. Preemies who were cradled skin-to-skin slept more effectively and woke up less often than those who slept in incubators. It prevents postpartum depression: various studies show that kangaroo care reduces postpartum depression in new moms. Activity in the mother’s adrenal axis is negatively influenced by childbirth, and skin-to-skin contact may reactivate the pathways to minimize the risk of depression. Plus, oxytocin released from skin-to-skin care decreases maternal anxiety and promotes attachment, further reducing the risk. Kangaroo Care has come to play an important role for mom and baby especially in the case of preemie babies. Those moments of bonding and hugging your little one is what matters.  Huggies® is with you every step of your nappy journey. Your baby gets its first hug from you, let the second hug be just as good. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Sleep Saviours From Pure Beginnings

Ask any parent what they would like for their Birthday and they will reply SLEEP. Sleep issues are common which young babies and children. Pure Beginnings can’t help you with rocking your tot to sleep but we can assist with these two great products. Pure Beginnings Soothing Baby Massage and Bath Oil (R119.99) The Pure Beginnings Soothing Baby Massage & Bath Oil contains a blend of moisturising and calming oils to nurture and protect delicate baby skin. There are TONS of benefits of baby massage. Here are some benefits outlined by Debbie Knighton-Fitt, Pure Beginnings pregnancy ambassador and author of Our Greenish Life Blog. It is a fantastic way of affirming your bond with your baby (which is critical if you understand how babies’ brains develop). Encourages digestion and eases baby’s colic, constipation and gas/wind. Improves blood circulation and skin conditions. Encourages sensory stimulation and routine building. Helps build parents and baby’s self-esteem. Improves baby’s health and general well-being. Helps baby sleep for longer and stimulates neurological development. Helps you become more confident in handling your child and better at recognizing their needs. Research has shown that baby massage can be a way in which a mother engages in positive ways with her baby (relieves stress for both mom and bub). It can be a great way for partners, grandparents and siblings to bond with the newest addition to the family. Regularly massaging your baby may help them to sleep and settle better too. Your baby’s muscles relax, and breathing becomes deeper as massage raises levels of the ‘feel-good’ hormone oxytocin in both you and your baby. This helps you both feel calmer and relaxed. (This can also help with breastfeeding). Using only pure natural plant oils, the product is 92% organic and 100% natural. “Our baby range is well known for its purity and safety”, says Bruce Moore-Gordon, owner of the Ecocert certified company. “When launching our massage oil for use on babies, purity and safety were top of the list. We specifically selected oils which are the most suitable for baby and infant skin, and we then sourced the purest organic supply of these oils”, says Bruce. As per the very strict standards of the brand, there are no synthetic chemicals in the product. These can cause inflammation or irritation of the skin. In addition, the baby oil contains no synthetic colourants, parabens or any petrochemically derived ingredients such as mineral oil. The Baby Massage & Bath Oil is not intended for use exclusively as part of baby’s bedtime massage routine. A few pumps can be added into baby’s bath water, which will help to lock in moisture and hydrate the skin. Since it is 100% natural, it won’t clog pores and will allow baby’s skin to breathe

January 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Make Maths marvellous at home

Cindy Glass, Founder and Owner of after-school remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centres says that Maths is an interesting subject that is directly linked to one’s emotions, “Our children either love it or fear it and there is very little to be found in between!” She adds that the good news is that there are ways to promote Maths at home, “Your child will improve in Maths when he sees the value of fun, real-time application of the subject in his life.” In fact, she says that the holidays are the perfect opportunity for you to do exactly and share her tips on how you can re-ignite your child’s passion for Maths in time for Term 3: 1. Get creative in the kitchen Measurement and capacity are concrete concepts often taught in abstract ways.  By simply encouraging your child to help you weigh and measure ingredients in the kitchen, the understanding of measurement in Maths is easily mastered! Concepts such as millilitres and litres are better understood when DOING rather than on a sheet of paper! 2. Eat pizza!  The concept of fractions is difficult to master if your child cannot see the fraction in action!  One of the best ways of explaining fractions is by simply ordering and eating a pizza! Remember, a pizza is almost always cut into eight equal pieces – each piece is one eighth of the whole pizza.  Two pieces is the same size as one quarter and so on! 3. Go shopping together Younger children battle to understand the concept of Rands, cents, totals and change.  Every moment is a teachable moment. Using a calculator to add the values of the till slip and working out how much change you received can be done at home. You could vary the scenarios. “What if I paid with R100?”, or “Would I have enough money to pay for the groceries if I had two R10 notes and one R20 note?” 4. Mental Maths in the car Play maths games in the car.  Add the digits of the number plate in front of you as quickly as possible. Multiply the first and last digits together. Have fun! Road signs are wonderful opportunities to identify shapes as well. 5. Mistakes are ok! Finally, remember that mistakes are okay! The quickest way to block your child’s enjoyment and learning in Maths is to be impatient with mistakes.  A child who does not fear mistakes is more likely to pursue and solve problems effectively! Fear of making mistakes is the number one cause of children battling in Maths! Mistakes are the only way we can learn anything. So embrace the process of learning Maths, warts and all, and watch your child blossom! Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Safe, summer fun for baby’s skin

When the sun finally appears after a long winter it is natural to want to go out into the sunshine and enjoy the long, sunny afternoons.  But, even though your baby might enjoy playing on the grass or getting their toes dipped into the pool, over-exposing their delicate, sensitive skin to the rays of the sun can be harmful. “We know that giving our children an outdoor life is important, however we need to remember that their skin is more sensitive than ours, and care needs to be taken while they are out in the sun, and even afterwards,” says Su-Marie Annandale, brand manager for baby skincare range Krayons. Annandale provides the following five tips on how to look after your baby’s skin while and after they have been in the sun: Keep your child out of direct sunlight by sitting under a tree or put up an umbrella for them to play under. It is also important to remember to always have a hat on hand for outdoor excursions. When the sun is at its hottest 10am to 4pm, try to keep your children out of the sun, or keep them in the shade. Use age appropriate sunscreen. Although it is advised not to use sunscreen for children younger than 6 months, there are exceptions:  if your baby is going to be out in the sun for a time and there is no possibility of cover, use a small amount of sunscreen to their skin protected. Be sure not to put around their eyes or on their hands to avoid stinging eyes. Protect your baby’s eyes with a pair of baby shades. Your baby’s eyes are very sensitive and the bright light can become irritated. Make sure that the sunglasses are UV ray protected. Don’t forget the fluids. During the hotter months it is important to remember that your baby will lose more fluid. A great way to determine this is by checking to see how often you change their nappies. Staying hydrated is also important for keeping your baby’s skin healthy and firm during the hotter months. After your baby has been out in the sun, give them a lukewarm bath to cool down their skin. Since your baby’s skin will be sensitive after being in the sun, opt for cotton wool instead of a facecloth to wipe them down. Finish off with a soft massage using Krayons’ Aqueous cream which is gentle on baby’s skin, and helps to ensure that it is cleansed, protected and moisturised every time. For more information visit www.facebook.com/krayonsbabies Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Why it’s important to monitor the climate in your baby’s room

With peak summer months peaking at early 30˚C or even early 40˚C in some places across the country, parents should constantly monitor their baby’s temperature to ensure their little ones are comfortable, even in the heat. In fact, t baby monitors aren’t just for sneak peeks – they can support your baby’s development too. It’s important to understand how climate can affect your baby’s health, what the ideal room climate is, and how your baby monitor can help. While a room that’s a little too warm or humid is no big deal for most of us, babies tend to be more sensitive to temperature and humidity. Too low humidity, for example, can cause the eyes and throat to dry out. And when it’s a little too cold or warm, babies aren’t yet able to regulate their body temperature the way an adult can. So what’s the ideal room climate? Think of the ideal room climate as a range rather than a specific temperature or humidity level. The healthiest room temperature for your little one is somewhere between 16-20˚, and humidity levels should ideally be kept between 40 – 60%. How your baby monitor can help If you’re wondering when all of this monitoring is going to happen in between feeding and comforting and the general business of being a parent, fear not. A smart baby monitor has your back: it continuously tracks the temperature and humidity of a room for you. By setting thresholds for temperature and humidity on the smart baby monitor, you receive notifications when the climate readings exceed these thresholds so you’ll always know whether the climate is healthy for your baby -or needs a little tweaking. Depending on the reading, you can then make adjustments to help keep your baby comfortable. Is the humidity a little on the high side? You might like to open a window to let in some fresh air. Worried about your little one overheating? Make sure your little one isn’t overdressed and consider using an air conditioner to bring the room to a more comfortable temperature. You can then also understand how your baby’s room climate affects their sleep as you’ll be able to see at a glance what kind of room temperature helps your baby sleep best. So you see, your baby monitor really isn’t just for sneak peeks. It’s a simple way to help your baby feel comfortable day and night. So make sure you choose the right baby monitor for you and your little one! Philips Mother and Child Division

January 18, 2018
Bonitas – innovation, life stages and quality care

Bonitas Talks Babies

When do advise your medical aid that you are pregnant? If you are a prospective member, you need to do so upon application or within 30 days after the completion of your application. If you are already a member with no waiting periods, you can access the out-of-hospital maternity benefits without advising the medical aid that you are pregnant. However, you need to obtain pre-authorisation for the delivery of the baby, which can be done from 20 weeks onwards. Are there waiting periods? Waiting periods may apply to members who join a medical aid while already pregnant. If you join while you are pregnant the pregnancy will not be covered. When do you advise the medical aid that the baby is born and needs to be added onto your medical aid The baby needs to be registered within 30 days from the date of birth to ensure there is no break in cover and your child will be covered from the first day of life. Are there any things you need to know or be cautious about when pregnant regarding medical aid so that you do not find yourself out of pocket We advise members to use doctors and hospitals on the network to avoid out of pocket payments. Bonitas offers a wide range of maternity benefits which includes cover for consultations, amniocentesis and scans as well. These benefits are in addition to savings to give members more value for money. Bonitas advises that any false information or non-disclosure of any material information provided upon application will result in the membership being declared null and void. In addition Bonitas Medical Fund offers Babyline  –  a dedicated children’s health advice line In 2016, Bonitas introduced Babyline – a 24-hour children’s health advice line manned by paediatric trained registered nurses.  They are on the other side of the phone to assist with any parental concerns, or health related issues, 24/7, 365 days of the year. How does it work? Bonitas parents, or their caregivers, simply call the Babyline number on 0860 999 121 to reach a paediatric trained nurse.  Through a series of questions asked regarding the health issue, parents will be provided with professional advice on what to do next. Depending on the symptoms, the advice might be to head straight to the ER or to see a doctor or specialist.  The nurse will advise which healthcare provider is the most appropriate, given the health issue. The services offered by the Babyline include: Home care advice Clinic/primary care/GP referral for the same day Clinic/primary care/GP referral for the following day After-hours care within the next six hours Immediate referral to the ER The Babyline service is available to members across all the Bonitas plans, for children under 3 years. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 17, 2018
Parenting Hub

Pure Beginnings 100% Natural Insect Repellent Spray

The spray format of the insect repellent uses the same extremely efficient active ingredients as the stick and is convenient and easy to use. 100% natural and contains no added chemicals , which makes it suited to those who have sensitive skin , including children and babies. DEET FREE! Infused with a number of highly effective insect repelling essential oils : Neem, Citronella, Lemon Eucalyptus and Lemon Bush. Ecocert’s organic standards guarantee that: – At least 95% of the total ingredients are from natural origin (water included). – At least 10% of the total ingredients are from organic farming (water included). – At least 95% of the total plant-based ingredients are organic. Pure Beginnings is very proud to be offering South African consumers a product which is not only affordable and effective, but also certified organic by Ecocert giving them the peace of mind that they are making the safest choice for their family. With a great deal of greenwashing ,false natural and organic claims on many products, certification by a recognized organisation makes it easier for the consumer.  

January 15, 2018
Parenting Hub

How to ignite a passion for reading in children who resist books

Imagine for a moment what it must be like to be a child growing up in a time where technology seems to overrun just about every aspect of our lives. Smart TV’s, smart cell phones, social media, 3D games, YouTube, Google – the list seems endless.  It is no wonder that it is becoming increasingly difficult to instil a love of reading books in our children. Yet, according to Cindy Glass, ex-teacher and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres, reading remains one of the most important skills for your child to master. “Reading develops the mind, the imagination and language skills.  Reading is key to discovering new things and it assists in mastering the essential skill of comprehension (understanding and applying what is being read).  In addition, reading is fundamental to developing creativity, self-confidence and independence,” Cindy says. It’s no secret that both parents and teachers alike want their children to reach their full potential and reading plays a massive part in that. So, how do you ignite a passion for reading in your child? Cindy provides the following tips that will help foster a love for books: Set the example:  Children who resist and defy what we say are more likely to do what we do.  You will achieve greater success in encouraging your children to read books, if you read books. Take some time to get to know your child: Find out what he/she finds interesting and exciting.  Then, help him/her seek out books that align with these interests.  Your child is more likely to read and enjoy books that support his/her interests. Show a sincere interest in what your child is reading:  Ask questions.  What is your book about?  What is the best part so far?  Do you think I would enjoy reading this book? Bedtime stories: Remember the days when you looked forward to being read to? Read to younger children.  Be enthusiastic.  Have fun! Be patient:  Every child is different.  Children who struggle to read will benefit from audio books –they can follow along in the book while listening to the story. Visit a library together:  Being surrounded by so many books sparks curiosity – few children can resist exploring what a library has to offer! Don’t force it: Avoid the temptation to force your child into reading books.  This inevitably creates dissention and may build walls of resistance that will be difficult to change. We cannot build our children up by breaking them down. It is far more effective to encourage your child to read by being a positive, enthusiastic, excited reading role-model. “The benefits of reading books are clear and to be encouraged.  Patience, enthusiasm and being a positive example will win the race,” Cindy concludes. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 15, 2018
Parenting Hub

Oops Stacking Block Sets

The Oops Stacking Black Sets, promote creativity, imagination and learning in your child with the latest range of Oops Stacking Block Sets. Available in gorgeous and entertaining themed ranges such as the Forest and the City, these collections of easy-grip blocks provide your little one with all the tools needed to satisfy curiosity, whilst having the most possible fun learning new skills. From counting to learning the alphabet, to more advanced tasks like telling the time, Oops have a range of stacking blocks suited to your child’s learning age and development.  As fore-runners in child developmental toys, Oops is one of Europe’s leading brands and offers only the best quality products at affordable prices. Some of our personal favourite stacking sets include: 0 – Clock! Telling the Time.  30 Piece Set Forest ABC! – Learn The Alphabet With Me. 30 Piece Set City 123! – Learn To Count With Me.  30 Piece Set Guaranteed for hours of fun and all available now at Hamleys (Eastgate, Menlyn, Sandton, Mall of Africa, V&A Waterfront, Greenstone), selected Kids Emporium stores, Me, Mom and Dad (Greenstone), www.takealot.co.za, www.loot.co.za, www.thebabyzone.co.za, www.purplepepperz.com

January 11, 2018
Parenting Hub

How to adapt to a new school and year

By Dr Claire Symington, Educational Psychologist and  head of the Academic Enrichment Centre at Southdowns College Preparatory “But plants grow again,” She murmured, focusing on the verdant beauty around her. “They put down new roots, create room for themselves in foreign soil.”  – Nalini Singh. Starting at a new school or even moving from one grade to the next can, at first, be a rather daunting experience for a child. Your child may be worried about fitting in, making new friends and/or managing the academic demands. The anticipation may be making them feel irritable, short-tempered and even physically ill. Here are a few points to help your children find their feet when they have been bumped out of their comfort zone. Check your own anxiety: Parents often project their own anxiety about change onto their children which only serves to further exasperate the situation. It is therefore important that your own anxieties about change are reigned in. If you happen to feel very anxious feel free to express your emotions to your child provided you also ensure that you are actively working towards resolving this emotion by focusing on the positive aspects and promoting excitement about the new opportunities that lie ahead. Don’t dismiss their worries: it is important that you empathise with your child about the possible “what if’s” that may be running through their head. Perhaps they are concerned that they may not be able to make a friend, or that the work may be too hard for them or that they are not going to fit in. It is sometimes easy to dismiss these worries as irrational or ramble off a cliché of sorts to ease their minds – but that offers them very little comfort. Rather focus on practical solutions to empower them. If they are worried about the school work suggest that you will be prepared to organise extra tutoring or if they are worried about fitting in remind them of strategies that they could use to promote contact such as finding something that they may have in common with someone else or encouraging them to try out for a sports team. Get your ducks in a row: Smoothing out any potential and unnecessary complications helps to keep the anxiety levels low. Familiarise your child as much as possible with the school’s expectations and culture by visiting the website, visiting the school beforehand and paging through previous yearbooks. Make sure that all the communication regarding school rules, the uniform, bell times etc. is read and understood so that any embarrassment can be avoided. Little things like making sure that they are on time in the mornings or having the right stationery goes a long way in helping them feel more settled. Encourage social interactions: Get involved with other parents at the school by attending parent meetings, joining the PTA or volunteering as a class parent. Encourage your child to do the same by signing up for extra-curricular activities or inviting friends over. Embrace change: Change is inevitable and transitioning from one grade to the next or to a new school serves as an exercise in teaching them how to navigate their way in uncertain circumstances. By exposing your children to new situations they are in a better position to improve their degree of adaptability.  By offering your support and encouragement, your children will be able to experiment with strategies that will serve them well when they come across unfamiliar situations in the future. Be patient: Settling in takes longer for some than others. It is only natural that some parents may feel guilty about their decision to move their child to a new school and it may begin to seem as if your efforts have been futile … remind yourself and your child to be patient. If it does however appear as though they are experiencing severe anxiety or signs of school refusal, it may be a good time to ask your child’s teacher for additional support or contact a professional to assist your child with the transition.  

January 11, 2018
Parenting Hub

Parent Involvement: Stretch your vision for a long-term parenting role – Raising Free Range Children

Written by: Justin Kistan, English & Information Science teacher at Crawford College North Coast Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking. ~Antonio Machado It is not that the Way broadens humans; it is that humans broaden the Way. ~ Confucius, the Analects  Where did the term ‘helicopter parents’ originate? Is it from the way they hover over their kids or is it because of the deafening sound they produce when their parental rotors are in a tizzy? Either way, it’s something of a spectacle to behold. We can’t blame parents for wanting the best for their children. It’s something we can all easily identify with. We want the people we care about to be looked after. We want to help them be happy, healthy and successful. But sometimes our help can be a hindrance. We need to ask ourselves difficult questions. When do our concern and best intentions become an obstacle to our loved ones continued evolution instead of an advantage? How do we empower our children so that they are strong enough to live without us?  And perhaps most importantly how do we go about making sure that our children will be amply prepared for the struggles of the 21st century and have the faculties about them to gain from its many opportunities? So where do we start? As the proverb goes, “the best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago, but the second-best time is now.” So, let’s begin with ideas we can nurture and grow now… · Parenting styles differ greatly. Julie Lythcott-Haims in her book, “How to Raise an Adult – Break Free of the Over-Parenting Trap and Prepare your Kid for Success”, mentions her preferred style, “AUTHORITATIVE, which is demanding and responsive. These parents set high standards, expectations, and limits, which they uphold with consequences. They are also emotionally warm and responsive to their child’s emotional needs. They reason with their kids, engaging in a give-and-take for the sake of learning. They give their child freedom to explore, to fail, and to make their own choices.” This style with its balance of strictness and warmth helps engender a child’s trust and respect. We need to help our kids build self-efficacy. They need to see that success comes from doing work that matters and that it requires effort. They need to have faith in their own ability to complete tasks (without help from their parents!) and reach set goals. Foster grit and perseverance. They need to realize that while there will be challenges in life, they possess the tenacity to meet and overcome them. Encourage in them a Stoic mindset.  As Marcus Aurelius said, “What stands in the Way, becomes the Way. The obstacle is the path.’ the world will constantly test them. Can they get past the things that inevitably fall in their way? Will they stand up and show the world what they’re made of? While we’re talking about the self, help your kids develop THE meta-skill of the 21st Century, SELF-AWARENESS, which is the ability to see ourselves for who we are, appreciate how others see us and to begin to understand our place in the world. Self-esteem which is the belief in one’s worth and value is important and must be appropriately nurtured but it is self-awareness that removes the blinkers from our kid’s eyes and allows them the vision to accurately tune into their current station in life. Our children will never get to where they want to go in the future if they don’t know where they are now. Help them develop their will and skill. Teach them to build their competence and with that, they will deserve their confidence. Give them opportunities to enter Flow – “the zone” in which we achieve optimal performance and feel our best. Gaining access to flow means being completely engaged with a task, preferably something you love to do and setting achievable goals. The task is normally something beyond your current level of skill and this requires you to stretch your skill set and reach to ascend to new levels. Kids should find a hobby or seek meaning in their learning which could give them a chance to enter flow. The more they operate in flow, the greater and more spectacular the accomplishments that our kids will accomplish. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it is a place to start. We need to raise 21st Century Citizens. Future adults who are critical and creative thinkers, resilient and gritty in their approach and most importantly purpose driven. Children who are taught not just to survive life’s hardships but who will seek out and thrive on its challenges.

January 11, 2018
Parenting Hub

Children get stressed too!

It’s a new school year! It’s exam time! Both of these occurrences during your child’s school life come with their own level of stress – for your child. When your child starts a new school year, or begins exams parents often focus on the stress that they themselves are feeling, rather than taking into account that their child is feeling the pressure as well. “Children don’t deal with stress, or show stress the same way that adults do, and often parents can over-look these clues,” says Carla Yssel, brand manager for Linctagon®. “When children are stressed they are not sure how to deal with it, and this can often manifest itself in a complete change of behaviour – being moody, crying, withdrawing from activities, and even complaining of stomach aches and headaches. Parents need to be on the lookout for these types of behavioural changes when big events in their child’s life occur, such as starting school, or tackling exams.” Although, some stress can be a positive as it can motivate your child to overcome what is worrying them, being over-stressed can cause illnesses. The stress hormone corticosteroid suppresses the immune system, and results in your child getting a cold or even the flu. “We are often consumed with whether our children have the correct stationery, or have prepared enough for their exam, that we forget to actually take care of them,” says Yssel. Yssel provides 5 tips on how to look after your child during stressful times: Be prepared in advance: Make sure that your child has everything they need long before school starts, and gets through all their studying with enough time to revise before an exam. This will give your child the peace-of-mind they require to overcome any stress they may be feeling. Get enough sleep: A good sleep is sure to improve your child’s concentration, and also allow them to feel ready to take on the new day with confidence and a clear mind. Talk to your child: Your child needs to know that you support them, and that you understand what they are going through. Talk to them about what they can expect on their first day of a new school term or year, or that no matter how they do in their exam you will support them through it all. Give them the edge: When your child starts to feel a cold or the flu coming on, give them Linctagon® Effervescent (which can be used from age 12) or Linctagon® Effervescent Junior (can be used from the age of 1) to help get over colds. Linctagon® effervescent and Linctagon® effervescent Junior contain the active ingredient Pelargonium sidoides and with its active support can shorten the duration of the common cold as well as reduce the severity of symptoms with the added Vitamins A and C, anti-inflammatory MSM and immunity enhancer Zinc (Alt Med Review, 2007). This will allow your child the opportunity to get back to what really matters; quicker than usual (Lizogub et al, 2007), and it is suitable for children and adults who are diabetic. Take time out to laugh: Just because your child is writing exams, or getting ready to go back to school it doesn’t mean that all fun needs to end! Laugh with your child; let them forget what they are stressed about, and just have a moment to breathe. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

January 10, 2018
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