Advice from the experts
Parenting Hub

Talking about periods

HOW SHOULD I APPROACH THIS? Your daughters first period is a momentous event in her life, but it can also be a little confusing and anxious too. When it arrives, it’s important she feels prepared and is aware of what’s happening to her. Discuss the science Although it sounds an obvious thing to say, its worth talking her through the basics of why we have periods, how the menstrual cycle worksand the blood loss she’ll experience. We’ve got all the information you need here to help explain these things, including a Teen Handbook. If she wants to find out herself, direct her to the teen section which includes advice on all aspects of her body Help her feel prepared One of the biggest worries many girls have is starting their period when away from home or in school. Very often, wearing a pant liner on a daily basis can build her confidence as it alleviates any fear that she will be caught unaware. Its also a good idea to give her some pads to keep in her school bag just in case. Lil-lets has a mini purple rangedesigned with petite women and younger girls in mind Is there a minimum age for using tampons? There is no minimum age for using tampons or a medical reason why a girl new to her periods should not use one. However, it is often best for them to understand their flow and monthly cycle before choosing to use this form of protection. Show her products It’s easy to forget that she probably hasn’t seen what a pad looks like. Once you’ve bought a pack, show her a pad, how she should position it and how to dispose of it afterwards. This should give her the confidence to do it herself next time. If you would both rather not have this conversation directly, our Teen Handbookhas explanations of how to use pads so she can have a look in her own time. The same applies to tampons as they can be really confusing, especially as they come in both an applicator and non-applicator formats. Anything else to add? Its perfectly normal for her period to last a couple of weeks too, so again, Its worth sharing this bit of information with her so she will know what to expect. Many thanks to Lil-Lets for their insight, you can read more at https://www.lil-lets.co.za/Advice/Advice-for-parents

May 21, 2018
Hero Life

Affordable Life Insurance For Young Parents

When you’re a young parent with a full plate of responsibilities and a host of baby expenses, buying life insurance is probably not a priority. But research shows that young parents need cover the most and 75%* don’t have any. Your kids will be financially dependent on you for at least the first 20 years of their lives. Life insurance guarantees there will always be financial resources available to them should something happen to you. It’s one of the best ways to ensure your family’s financial security when they need it most. We live in a world where you only buy one song on an album or where you watch episodes of a series as and when you want, so why can’t you get life insurance in the same way? Hero Life is simple life insurance for young parents, with a fixed term of five years that can be extended or expanded. Online signup and an upfront price create a great user experience with no medicals or paperwork. Expert support is available anywhere in the process and it’s simple to adjust your cover amount if you need to. Hero Life is where young parents can control their money and protect their families. There is no faster, more flexible and affordable way than Hero Life to sort out your life insurance needs. Visit www.herolife.co.zafor more info. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herolifeinsurance/ Hero Life, a MMI Group initiative, is underwritten by Guardrisk Life Limited (Reg. no. 1999/013922/06), an authorised Financial Services Provider (FSP license number 76). *(TGISA 2014B/2015C/2016A)

May 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

How to be a more present parent

All parents want the best for their children.  We take care of them and see to it that they are safe, fed and educated.  We do the best that we can, with the knowledge that we have, in each moment of this minefield called parenting.  In addition, parents are forced to work long hours to make a living and it seems, for so many, that little to no time is left to foster healthy, positive relationships with their children. Children thrive in relationships where they feel acknowledged, valued and heard. Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says ‘being a mindful parent simply means that you take the time to see, hear and understand your children, despite the challenges that life inevitably throws at you. “I see you, I hear you, I get you” will transform your family!’ Cindy encourages parents to remember (and practice) the below points: Each of your children is a unique individual with a unique set of circumstances Your home environment is only a small part of the complete list of influencing factors in your child’s life, so it is very important to make it count. Every child is in some way influenced by the behaviour of others in their school and social environment. Creating a positive, uplifting environment at home where we as parents take the time to listen – really listen to our children, will result in children being more open in sharing what’s happening in their lives, and what they’re thinking and feeling. Eating supper around the dining room table just a few nights a week, for example, will encourage discussions, cement relationships and build happy memories for the whole family. Don’t take it personally Our children’s choices and behaviours can lead us to question our competence as parents. However, their thoughts and emotions are sparked by a myriad of influences including social media, peer pressure and their concept of themselves. If we don’t take their behaviour as a personal affront to our parenting, we are better able to take a step back and allow our children the space (with our gentle guidance) to navigate their own path. Teach your children the art of making effective mistakes Embrace, own and learn from the inevitable mistakes that will be a part of our children’s lives.  Acknowledge that we are all on a journey of learning and to learn effectively, mistakes are a given.  Choose to be a non-judgemental ear to listen. Set clear, but fair boundaries We often parent the way we were parented.  You can choose to do things differently with your children.  Teaching an understanding of choices and consequences is essential.  Don’t just talk- the -talk, walk-the-walk.  Our children do what we do, not always what we say. Try and organise activities which are fun, silly or even challenging Be vulnerable, laugh with and at yourself and with your children.  Challenging activities (like zip-lining or hiking) will give you opportunities to encourage and support each other.

May 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Matric subject choices: Avoid risky selections in face of changed requirements

In coming months, Grade Nines will choose which subjects to pursue during their final school years, on which they will be tested when they sit for their final Matric exams. And while the Department of Basic Education recently announced the withdrawal of the “designated subject” list – the list of subjects from which students who want to pursue a degree after school have had to select their subjects – there are some serious considerations not to be ignored, an expert says. “Some may argue that the withdrawal of the designed subject list gives young people more choices, but we urge schools and learners not to make risky and uninformed changes,” says Dr Felicity Coughlan, Director of The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. She notes that the original list contained many of the traditional subjects used to gain access to University, and that many of these subjects required learners to master skills that will be important when seeking entry into a public university or private higher education institution. “These skills include argumentation and reasoning, found in subjects such as History, logic and mathematics as found in Accountancy and Maths or Maths Literacy, and evidence and scientific reasoning skills, as found in Physical Science and Life Sciences. “Additionally, the two-language requirement also ensured a well-rounded educational experience for students living in a multilingual country.  The reasoning behind the original inclusion of these subjects should be remembered, and students are encouraged not to put together a collection of subjects that are all of one type which will result in them developing less holistic academic skills.  The impact on their studies later in life will be real,” says Coughlan. In addition, learners considering their subject choices should remember that despite the change of requirements at school, Universities were not at the same time required to change their admission requirements. “Higher education institutions need not change entry requirements if they don’t want to, and one can be sure that many – if not most – won’t. Definitely not in the short term, and particularly not for those qualifications that currently require Mathematics or Life Sciences. We therefore encourage learners to do their homework before opting out of these traditionally required subjects.” The third consideration follows from the first two, says Coughlan. “Some subjects, such as Design, were omitted from the original list but have been accepted by some institutions for several years now as part of conditional admission requirements for certain qualifications.  Design thinking is a strong and necessary skill for modern living and it is likely that it will become more and more acceptable for admission to higher education.” Design therefore is one of the examples that should be considered as part of a portfolio of creative subjects after learners have checked its acceptability to the higher education institution of their choice, Coughlan notes. “In light of these changes in subject choice requirements, and given the risk of learners opting for perceived easier subjects or subjects that are too similar in nature, we urge learners to investigate their options carefully, and schools to support them in making informed decisions,” says Coughlan. “The public higher education sector is not likely to change quickly to accept subjects they currently do not accept, and while the private higher education sector may be more progressive, our advice remains the same as it has always been: to select subjects that keep your study options open. This means learners should include at least one subject in which they know they can excel, and then others that will teach you a range of different skills. “In today’s volatile and uncertain world, it is more important than ever before to cultivate an extended base of skills from which you can draw, to improve your chances of succeeding.”

May 18, 2018
Parenting Hub

Four money lessons to teach your child

Given how important financial skills are to navigating life, it’s surprising that schools don’t teach children more about money. Making smart financial decisions is important to ensure that children grow up to be economically active citizens and are empowered to build a bright future for themselves. Nelly Mofokeng, MD at Junior Achievement South Africa(JA South Africa), shares four money lessons that will help your child develop the necessary skills to make smart financial decisions. Needs versus wants The first thing to teach a child is to recognise the difference between a need and a want. Grasping this concept will have a positive impact on a child’s financial future. Additionally, it is not enough to simply recognize the difference, parents should explain why money gets spent on a need before a want. One of the best ways for children to understand how to differentiate between wants and needs is to take them shopping. As you put things in your basket, ask them if the item is a want or a need. Let them explain their decision, then give them your answer. Creating a budget While children do not have to pay rent or buy groceries it is important to teach them how to budget effectively from an early age. Budgeting provides the critical foundation they need to manage their money in the future. Start small by giving them as little as R10 and telling them how much of that they need to save, spend and give. Give the money in coins so that your child can see his/her money jar fill up or get depleted. This simplified budget will help teach your child about the value of a rand, how to make choices and how to prioritise. Earning money Children need to learn to earn money just like they would in the real world. Parents can teach this by paying them small amounts for additional chores like washing the car, cleaning the bathroom and polishing shoes. When children work hard to earn money, they are less likely to spend it foolishly. Saving money for a goal Saving is difficult to master for people of all ages and children rarely wait for anything these days. They have instant access to information, TV shows, books, music, etc. Ultimately this translates into an attitude of ‘I want it now‘. It is important to control this mindset by teaching your child to save for what they want. “Encouraging saving and smart spending habits is a crucial step towards building a money-savvy future. Financial education also gives children the confidence to make informed money decision,” advises Nelly Mofokeng, managing director at JA South Africa. These money lessons are taught in the JA South Africa More than Money Programme, which either spans five sessions or half a day workshop. In 2018, the target is to reach 7 000 Grade 7 learners through this programme. If you would like to volunteer to assist with workshops, please get in touch with JA South Africa by emailing them on [email protected] calling 011 331 3150.

May 17, 2018
Parenting Hub

CHANGES YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH

HELP! SHE’S BECOMING A TEEN! Pointing out that the teenage years can be fraught is like telling a new mum she’s going to have to change a nappy or two. As puberty starts to take hold, hormones begin to make teens more irritable, which combined with the changes to her body could mean you’re in for a bumpy ride. Some girls see all of this as a really positive sign that they’re becoming a woman. Although, many girls wonder if they’re normal, especially if they’re the first or last in their class to see signs of puberty appearing. One of the most important pieces of advice we can give you is to just keep on reassuring your daughter that everyone is unique so she may experience the changes at different times or in a different order to her friends. For most girls, puberty starts around the ages of 11 and 12, but it can start as early as 8. The first signs tend to involve breast development and hair growing under the arms and between the legs. It’s then usually a couple of years later that the first period arrives. Again they could start as early as 8 though, or in some cases not until she’s 18. Many thanks to Lil-Lets for their insight, you can read more at https://www.lil-lets.co.za/Advice/Advice-for-parents

May 16, 2018
Munchkins

Veggies for vitality: Get your munchkins to gobble more greens

Diet – probably one of the most dreaded four-letter words in domestic history. The reason why nutrition often feels like a real burden is because our society’s concept of and relationship with food are quite rotten. As a result, there exists a confusing mess of contradicting information on what really constitutes a “healthy diet”. To pile on the pressure, you now have kids whom you love to bits and want to feed wholesome food and it’s most of the time a struggle, right? My own pursuit of answers to the much-debated topic of diet led me to a very simple (and I like to think obvious) conclusion: Eat. Real. Food.To clarify – the closer to nature, the more it will nurture. Conversely, if it is modified (processed or refined), it is best to stay away from it. A “real” diet is inevitably loaded with the substance of life: vegetables! “But my child is a fussy eater!” you say. Let me spill the beans on how you can help to fill your child’s tummy with nature’s best: Start smart The hard truth is: your child will most probably not be begging for broccoli if his palate is spoiled with “easy” foods, such as sweetened yoghurt, crackers and other refined edibles. A baby’s first foods should be freshly prepared vegetables, fruit, natural fats, proteins and whole grains rather than commercially processed baby food. Weaning foods lay the foundation for eating habits. If children won’t eat anything but white bread with cheese spread, we have to ask ourselves: Would that have happened without the option of this “meal”? Our babies have clean dietary slates – they learn to eat what we feed them. So, let them have veggies! What if it is too late for the right start? Detoxing your family from “fake” factory foods and replacing them with wholesome alternatives is a beautiful Plan B. However, it costs commitment! It will be challenging until the whole family, as well as your grocery shopping, cooking, and snacking habits, have adjusted. Cheat them to eat them If mealtimes are mostly synonymous with war, try dosing fussy eaters with vitamins, minerals and fibre by sneakily masking veggies or fruit in their food. Here are some ideas: Make smoothieswith added vegetables. You can even freeze this blend and offer it as popsicles or sorbet. Check out this recipe for a delicious green smoothie. Baked goods(made from healthy flour alternatives) are brilliant hideaways for wellbeing foods! Add grated or pureed veggies, such as carrots, baby marrows, cauliflower or pumpkin to muffins, biscuits, crumpets, breads, wraps and more. Sweeten with blended fruit like banana or dates. See these inspiring recipes for spicy pumpkin muffinsand cauli-wraps. (Google will gladly contribute many more ideas!) Hide veggies in meat recipes(like these fantastic meatballs) – add them to quiches, blend them into yummy soupsor puree them into flavoursome saucesas topping or filling for brown rice, quinoa, omelettes and more. Go on, become a master of disguise… The real deal should also appeal We should be cautious of always offering veggies in easily edible forms. When we do this, we are not accustoming children to their taste and texture and thereby not training them to be vegetable victors. That does not mean that you can’t make it less painful and more fun! Dangle a carrot in front of their noses like this: Build vegetable pictureson their plates. The internet is packed with creative ideas! Give them healthy dipslike hummus, cream cheese or mashed avocado to dunk veggies into. Gardeningis a great way to get kids excited about plant foods! Let them help and witness their greens grow. The key often lies in variety. If Fussy Fiona absolutely refuses mushrooms, give up and give celery. But try again next month. Home-grown habits The apple does not fall far from the tree when it comes to diet. In the end, what you cook and eat yourself is what your child will model. Yup, this means the pressure is on! But luckily it will pay off for your own wellbeing too. A final word of encouragement: Our survival instinct will eventually force us to eat what is available. Your child will not starve if you replace comfort foods with vegetables. May your efforts to fill the apple of your eye with good food bear much fruit! Hopefully, your tantrum-prone little eater will soon be as cool as a cucumber when there is salad for supper!

May 16, 2018
Munchkins

Anti-Spanking Law

How to spare the rod without spoiling the child  With South-Africa’s new anti-spanking legislation, even parents who are responsible and loving spankers simply cannot afford to stick to their guns (or wooden spoons) and continue their normal disciplining tactics. By giving a child even a slight slap on the wrist, you might receive much more than just that from the authorities in return – you could face a charge of assault. If convicted, the lightest penalty you may hope for would be a life-long criminal record for child abuse. Parents who were not previously opposed to reasonable corporal punishment should thus seriously consider alternative means of nurturing obedience. Here are a few suggestions: Nasty noises mean, “No!” Many parents (without even thinking about it) use a benign slap or finger flick to deter babies and small toddlers with little reasoning capabilities away from dangerous or other unwanted situations. While this practice is effective, under the new law it could potentially land you in much greater trouble than the mischief your little one was up to. Nevertheless, you can still use the same principle of pairing a certain behaviour (e.g. fidgeting around an electric socket) with a physical negative consequence. This consequence could take the form of an unpleasant noise (like a loud clap with the hands, bang on the table or verbal warning in a very strict, low tone of voice. The biggest trick with such little ones is that your reaction should immediately follow the behaviour as they need to form a negative connotation with the unwanted action. Try out a time-out Giving time-outs (placing a child in seclusion for a little while) is another disciplining method that could work well with smaller children – again, if administered immediately after a misdeed. Place the child with his back against the wall, and turn your back for a few seconds, or in a “time-out chair” and expect them to stay there until the punishment is over. Avoid using rooms with lots of potentially interesting activities to engage in, as this will defeat the purpose of the consequence. Rule of thumb: Make the time-out last a minute for each year of age (e.g. two minutes for a two-year-old, etc.). The concept of a time-out could be applied to older children as well – they will simply need longer time in isolation and absolutely no technology, books or other stimulation at their disposal. You could even consider giving them a task to do while they are grounded, like reading educational material (and be quizzed afterwards) or writing an essay on any appropriate topic (e.g. “Why rules are important to society” – teaching them that rules without consequences are merely suggestions). Race towards rewards with incentive charts Incentive charts are a great way to correct behaviour, as they place the focus on reward rather than punishment. Move the child’s token forward on the chart when they do something good and backward in the case of disobedience. Remember that smaller children need to arrive at the reward soon lest they lose interest, and this becomes an ineffective way to regulate behaviour. Refrain from using food as a reward – it contributes to emotional eating patterns and the treat in question would most probably contain ingredients that are bad for children’s health and thus contra-productive to discipline. Rather reward them with special, alone time with mommy or daddy to create positive memories – like having a water balloon fight, baking together, playing card games, etc. Crimes create consequences… so let them cope with the costs! Children who are cognitively mature enough to learn despite a delay between a misdeed and its consequence could be deprived of privileges as an effective punishment. The “consequence currency” that you trade in could be anything – pocket money, screen time, going-out freedoms, privacy, etc. Just remember that it has to “hurt” – an introverted little house hen might not even miss social time with friends for one weekend and a keen reader may not be too bothered about losing screen time. You could even take away “noble” things in the case of continued disobedience, like withdrawing them from the sports team they love or having them step down from leadership positions at school. Just make sure they know what is at stake. To conclude Although spanking is now a dated practice in South Africa, discipline itself should never follow the same route. There are still many tools in your parenting kit to correct your kids’ conduct, so please do not slack in your endeavours. Always remember when you are facing negative behaviour that you are not merely dealing with a child’s temporary disagreeableness that should be addressed as effortlessly as possible. Your end game is to shape pleasant and successful adults. The road to that objective is paved with fair, consistent and loving discipline.

May 14, 2018
Parenting Hub

Negotiating the blended family

Step, or blended families that they now commonly called, start out full of hope that they will give the protagonists another chance at all the good things that the closest of bonds and safe, communal home life can offer.  However, even though there might well be ‘first family’ experience to draw on, blending families still casts the adults and children into unchartered waters that can deliver significant challenges. Well-known parenting educator and author of Blended Families,Flicky Gildenhuys, who will be a guest speaker at the upcoming SACAP Festival of Learningpoints out that although integrating different family units in a new, unified home holds the potential of a minefield; it can equally turn out to be an amazing voyage of discovery. It all comes down to how we choose to do the blending, which is a not an event but rather a process, unfolding over time, and moving through different phases, which all need to be negotiated.  Blending into a strong and successful family demands perspectives, skills and the effective use of tools from the adults.  While these may not come naturally, the good news is that they can be learnt, and there are compelling reasons to get educated – South Africa’s rising divorce rate, with indicators that almost half of marriages fail, and many within nine years, means that blended families may well become the most common form of family in the country. Flicky, a UCT psychology Honours graduate, has not just been helping families professionally for over three decades, she has also lived the blended family experience, raising six children made up of her biological progeny, her adopted child and her partners’ offspring.  “The challenges of a blended family are typically complex,” she says, “It is common that the blended family comes together when the units are both still dealing with the grief and loss associated with their different former families.  The emotional context of the union can be alive with conflict with ex-spouses or family members.  These are basic, but intense trials of the blended family. The better you negotiate them, the better the blending.” Flicky points out that while the adults in the blended family do have the value of more maturity and experience; as well as learning and wisdom to contribute; they may also bring their heavier ‘baggage’. “Two different waves of parenting strategies, which have taken years to develop, crash on the shores of the blended family, often creating riptides of confusion and disagreements.  This might be further complicated by the differing parenting strategies of ex-partners; and effective co-parenting can be particularly hard without insights and tools.” As the enduring childhood stories of step-families attest to, blending families can deliver life-defining challenges for children that can easily become embedded in their vulnerable, developing identities.  Blended families can significantly shift a child out of their known place in the family, and leave them at sea.  The oldest can sink to become one of the youngest; the youngest can be thrown up against the force of the oldest, and the only child can be plunged into a roiling brood. The stakes to achieve a happy blended family are undoubtedly high, but so worthwhile; and Flicky asserts that we can learn the skills to deal with grief and loss; and to manage expectations and negotiate the successful blended family. “Part of the process of blending well involves very powerful and fulfilling stages of the journey where you don’t just fall or get swept up into the notions of being a family.  Instead, you are empowered to consciously develop a family identity, craft family rules and roles, as well as instigate affirming, meaningful and enjoyable family traditions and rituals that last lifetimes and become part of your family legacy.  Key to this is the adults’ development of their self-reflective, communication and conflict resolution skills – and this is what makes negotiating a blended family wonderfully rich.  It can change you in remarkable, and deeply satisfying ways.” To dive into the adventurous waters of the blended family join Flicky Gildenhuys’ presentation on ‘Negotiating the blended family’, which is part of the Cape Town programme of the upcoming 7thannual SACAP Festival of Learning.  The Festival of Learningtakes place in Johannesburg on 17thand 18thof May, and in Cape Town on 24thand 25thof May 2018.  Tickets for the 2018 Festival of Learning are available through Webtickets. Costs are R200 for the full-day programme, which includes dialogues and panel discussion. Tickets for the short-talk evening programme which includes catering and networking opportunities is R200.  There is a special offer for students and alumni at R80 per ticket. 

May 9, 2018
Parenting Hub

Smart device advice for parents

Smart devices are a massive part of our children’s lives. They spend much of their time devoted to communicating with their friends and peers through cell phones and social networking sites like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter. Sadly, the lack of boundaries combined with too much freedom and a dash of ignorance has resulted in children becoming more vulnerable to cyber bullying and cybercrime than ever before. In fact, a study by the World Economic Forum puts South Africa in the list of top 10 countries that are at risk when it comes to children and cybercrime.  It comes as no surprise then that some schools and parents have taken to ban these devices altogether. On the other hand, there is no denying that smart devices provide a powerful learning platform with a wealth of information available at your fingertips. And then of course there is the comfort that comes with knowing that you can contact (and keep track) of your child, where ever, whenever. “Because it’s not only the cyber criminals that you need to be protecting your child from, it’s the real-life ones too!” says Erika Truscott, Owner and Founder of PingMe. “Just last month, two incidents of intended abduction of children by strangers from shopping centres in Pretoria East went viral,” she adds. So, what do parents do? Is there a way to protect our children from the dangers that lurk in cyber space whist still reaping the advantages that come with these devices in the real world? Erika believes there is. She offers the following smart device advice to parents: 1.Add social media accounts to your phone:As a rule of thumb, children younger than 13 shouldn’t have social media profiles – they simply don’t possess the skills to discern potential threats. If your older child is on social media, insist that you have their account on your phone so that you have instant access to chats and posts. 2. Check privacy settings: Automatically set all your child’s social media profiles to private, non-negotiable. 3. Download filtering, blocking and information security software: Control unwanted content and apps by investing in software that allows you to selectively filter what your children are exposed to. 4. Watch WhatsApp: Much of the cyber bullying that takes place, happens on WhatsApp. You can use the WhatsApp web/desktop application to track your child’s history and messages. 5. Get them safety savvy: Teach your child that the ‘Stranger Danger’ rule applies for cyberspace as much as it does for ‘real life’ and remind them not to give out any personal information like phone numbers, home address etc. (even to friends) over social platforms. “It may seem intrusive to have your child’s social media profiles on your phone or to watch their WhatsApp, but as moms and dads, our number one responsibility is to protect and nurture our children. It is integral that allthese interventions are not done in isolation of an open and loving conversation with your child. Trust is the basis of every relationship and this is no different,” says Erika. She adds that for parents who are still erring on the side of caution in terms of smart devices that perhaps they should consider a Smart Watch. “That way, the internet is completely restricted BUT you can still contact your child (and they can contact you!) plus you have the added benefit of being able to know where your child is at any given moment.

May 9, 2018
The Headache Clinic

Ponytail May Be Leading to Some Headaches

Some headache and migraine sufferers develop sensitivity of the scalp from all the pain that they experience. This means that things that normally would not cause pain or discomfort, start to cause problems. Wearing a tight ponytail would normally cause no discomfort, but in migraine sufferers who have developed a highly sensitive scalp, wearing a tight ponytail can cause discomfort and pain. It actually has a name – ‘ponytail headache syndrome’, according to Dr Elliot Shevel, Medical Director of The Headache Clinic, and South Africa’s internationally recognized Migraine expert and pioneer in the field of Migraine Surgery. Other signs of scalp hypersensitivity may be discomfort with combing or brushing the hair, shaving, showering, or wearing glasses or earrings – things that are not normally painful. Dr Shevel says that if one does suffer from scalp hypersensitivity – the medical term is cutaneous allodynia – then treating the cause for the overload of pain signals to the brain should come first – i.e. treating the headaches. When the original source of the most significant contributor to the pain is successfully treated, the allodynia subsides along with it. At The Headache Clinic, the emphasis is upon diagnosing the original source of the pain, and then directing treatment in a focused manner at the origin of the pain. In most patients this can be achieved without the use of drugs, with their often unpleasant or harmful side-effects.  

May 9, 2018
Parenting Hub

Review: Barbie™ Dreamtopia Flying Wings Fairy Doll

Barbie™ is a name that we all know. They have been around for over 58 years and we all grew up with our special Barbie™ on hand.  Our little girls are no exception. With the Barbie™ Dreamtopia Flying Wings Fairy, you little girl will be whisked away on a magical adventure every-time.  Her wings easily pull from her purple bow and when your little one is ready to see her wings fly, you simply push the butterfly button that is hidden on her body and her wings launches into the air. I loved the fact that the wings flutter and really make her look like she is flying around high in the sky. Even more so that you have an option of 2 sets of wings that easily clip into place. Being a girl is so much fun these days… let your daughter step into the magical world of Barbie™ Dreamtopia. Available from leading retail outlets.

May 8, 2018
Parenting Hub

Technical Matric opens door to practical careers desperate for skilled workers

Despite thousands of South Africans struggling to find employment because they never finished school, few are aware of the option of completing a Technical Matric, which allows them to access a myriad of careers where employers are desperately seeking skilled staff. “If your lack of a Matric Certificate is holding you back, it is important to know that it is never too late to get your qualification, and also that there are more options open to you than a regular matric,” says Zabo Mhleli, senior Student Advisor at Oxbridge Academy, which serves more than 20 000 South African distance learning students every year. He says the Technical Matric qualification is a great option for those who never completed their Matric Certificate, but who are neither in a position nor inclined to return to school. “This qualification focuses on technical subjects as well as business languages, and also provides more hands-on experience than the National Senior Certificate curriculum. Once passed, the Technical Matric qualification allows students to continue with any N4 qualification because it is considered equivalent to a regular Matric,” he says. The Technical Matric is a Department of Higher Education qualification, and students are required to complete four technical and two business language subjects in order to graduate. An added bonus is the fact that it can be studied via distance learning, Mhleli notes. He says while the Technical Matric Certificate won’t grant a student access to university, it does provide access to a range of solid opportunities, including furthering one’s studies at N4-level and providing a qualification that one can rely on when applying for apprenticeships and entry-level technical positions. “This qualification is a particularly good option for those with good numerical skills who also enjoy working with their hands. It is equally appropriate for people who have a passion for designing, conducting experiments or doing other types of practical projects. “We also have many students who signed up because they already work in a technical field, but now need a Matric to qualify for promotion,” he says. Mhleli says the local job market is tough, and not having a Matric makes it substantially more difficult to find work and build a career. However there continues to be a huge demand for qualified vocational professionals, with employers desperate for workers with technical knowledge and experience. “We want to urge those who have given up hope to investigate their options particularly on the technical front, and to not resign themselves to never living up to their potential. A Technical Matric can be completed on a part-time basis from home, which also means saving on transport, accommodation and all the related costs associated with furthering one’s studies. There are thousands of technical positions waiting to be filled, and a Technical Matric is an excellent way to gain the qualification you’ll need to be able to supply in this demand.”

May 8, 2018
Munchkins

Temperament-sensitive parenting: Foster your Munchkin’s uniqueness

Nurturing a child according to his temperament is immensely important. It aids in shaping their unique potential while preventing unnecessary damage and conflict. Yet, no two kids are exactly the same and neither are any two sets of parents. Therefore, there is no rigid “personality pattern” to follow – only better and worse practices. Think of temperament-focussed parenting as cooking a specific dish – the recipe requires certain ingredients and methods, yet, there is always leeway for variation. Have you ever known two people whose spaghetti bolognaise tasted exactly the same? The topic of child-rearing according to temperament is one deserving of a dense manual – and indeed numerous books are available on it. What follows here is, consequently, a very condensed introduction to the four traditional temperaments and brief suggestions on complementing parenting practices. The Commanding Choleric Short summary Choleric children are “typical leaders” – those confident, determined children who often have a crowd following them. They are fast-paced, task-oriented, performance-driven extroverts who enjoy challenges and decision-making. These are your strong-willed children who are unfazed by conflict and are not naturally sensitive to others’ emotions. Combine these attributes with ambitious drive, a desire for control and winning as well as strong opinions (which they can competently communicate) and you have a little munchkin that could be quite difficult to navigate. Parenting pointers Parenting a choleric child may feel like a daunting task – from handling next-level toddler tantrums to fiery arguments with teenagers. Avoid both fighting their fire with more fire (which will render your home a war zone) and giving in to their strength (which will make them lose respect for you and will ultimately increase their unyieldingness). Give them plenty of choices, challenges and charge (which could be reduced as consequence for disobedience) and remember to explain to them why and how rules are enforced – dictatorship is not advisable. However, set unmovable boundaries and remain completely firm, yet, calm when they try to push these – which they will do repetitively until they realise that you are worthy enough to submit to your leadership. Applaud their successes but teach them to respect others’ feelings and to lose with dignity. Set an example of humility, apologising, compassion and teamwork. Keep them active to shed aggressive energy. Remember that these powerful individuals will become wonderfully influential people if shaped correctly. The Spirited Sanguine   Short summary The other extroverted temperament is that of the sanguine. However, as opposed to the task-oriented choleric, the sanguine child lives for people and pleasure! These happy individuals are easy-going, flexible and fun-loving! They are beautifully sociable with their signature enthusiasm and charm. You will often hear them before you see them! Sanguine children are creative, entertaining and out-of-the-box. However, they might struggle with consistency, commitment and task completion, while being impulsive and somewhat ego-centric. Their biggest fear is to be unpopular, therefore, they easily experience rejection. Boring tasks and routines get them down. Parenting pointers This “big personality” requires ample space and freedom. Do not thwart their originality by pushing them to conform or sending the message that they are “too much”. Although they need help with planning, allow a measure of flexibility as rigid routine and structure highly frustrate them. A sanguine child requires an audience (so be a cheering one!), plenty of cuddles and generous opportunity to have fun, socialise, be stimulated and unleash their creativity. Be warned: a bored little sanguine will most likely end up in trouble. However, “forced boredom” (like being secluded from people or stimulation) is a great way to discipline them. Give them tools to withstand temptations and peer pressure (and not leading others astray themselves!). Teach them impulse-control, responsibility, listening skills, task completion and to grant others a chance in the spotlight. Most importantly: Enjoy them! The Peaceful Phlegmatic   Short summary The phlegmatic is a slow-paced introvert who prefers to blend into the background. Yet, they are people-oriented with a kind and docile nature. These individuals are relaxed and patient – to the point that they could seem passive. Children with this temperament will seldom try new things on their own and do not show much emotion. Their go-with-the-flow attitude makes them great team players but vulnerable to peer pressure. They are peaceful people who need peaceful, tranquil environments and, therefore, conflict and pressure upset them. Parenting pointers Phlegmatics are “easy children” in the sense that they are eager to please and not prone to defiance. However, their passivity makes them difficult to mobilise and their closed-book demeanour tricky to understand. Ensure that they feel appreciated and loved and give them ample quality and quiet time. Do not criticise their slowness – rather provide them space to process and react in their own time while motivating them to get important things done (or even just started for that matter!) and to be punctual. Protect them from too much stimulation and pressure while teaching them to cope in a busy world, to stand their ground, handle conflict and not be pushed over or seduced by others. Encourage them to verbalise their feelings. If there are more vigorous personalities in the home, ensure that they feel safe after conflict and attempt to maintain the peace. The Meticulous Melancholic   Short summary Melancholics are those introverted, task-oriented children who are quiet, serious perfectionists. They set really high standards for themselves and often perform well, although they seldom operate on the forefront. They are great at planning, observing and problem-solving but very cautious, slow-paced and resistant to change. Because facts, rules and doing things right matter a great deal to them, they are mostly well-behaved and faithful with a deep sense of righteousness and a fear of criticism and mistakes. However, since life is not perfect or fair, melancholic kids are susceptible to depressive moods. Parenting pointers These vulnerable souls need continuous, loving encouragement, understanding for their intense emotions and loads of positive feedback. Avoid harsh criticism but help them to embrace positive correction. They need

May 8, 2018
Mia Von Scha

Motherhood is a journey, not a destination

Philips Mother and Child Division Mother’s Day – a day to celebrate the mother of the family, motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society, and no matter what anyone one says, mothers are incredible! And whether you are a mother-to-be, a newbie or an old hat at the job – motherhood can be daunting and exhausting one day and totally exhilarating the next. Far too often, perceptions about motherhood make it seem as if it’s a completely blissful experience. Of course, this is an incredibly joyous time for a family, but the reality is that it can also be scary – and can often include many conflicting emotions for new mothers. Pregnancy and giving birth is just the start of the motherhood journey – it is a long rewarding road with decisions that have to be made at every turn. For many new moms, a lot of thought and time goes into planning how you are going to raise your little one – anything from whether you are going to breastfeed and if co-sleeping is an option or not, all the way through to the type of education you want and the environment you want to bring your little one up in. And of course, once you get those down pat – there are new considerations and decisions that have to be made. And as a mom, you’re thinking ahead and planning and when you finally think you have made up your mind, you research, ask friends and family for their opinions and plan just a little bit more – it’s just the nature of moms. However, the funny thing is nothing can really prepare you for the reality that life brings with being a mom. Of course, we have heard the stories of lack of sleep, with new moms complaining about the fact that they feel they are in a constant loop – sleep, feed, burp and nappies.  However, while this may seem light hearted, the fact is that lack of sleep, coupled with mental and physical exhaustion that comes from disturbed sleeping patterns, can have a massive impact on your wellbeing. As a new mom, you must try and adjust, to find a new ‘normal’, as best you can – as your routine will change drastically. And for those already in the swing of things – as your little one grows, there are new learnings every day.  There is also no doubt no matter where you are in the motherhood journey, you will be receiving lots of advice on how to manage this new path – the important thing to remember is to not be too hard on yourself.  Like anything in life, change takes time to adjust to and settling into a new pattern – and not all things can be planned – but rather need to be managed and understood. The reality is that you are going to have blissful days with your little one and other days are going to feel like a whirlwind (and you are in the ‘eye of the storm’) – this is completely normal and is no reflection on your abilities as a mom about who you are, and your parenting skills – especially while you are to get a handle on this phase of your life. All too often moms are way too hard on themselves and don’t ask for help, especially when they need it. So this Mother’s Day here are some tips to keep in mind: You are not a superwoman – nor do you have to be.  If family and friends offer help – take it – take time out, if you are able to – even if just to go shopping or to go to the hair dresser for an hour. Remember, your sleep is just as important as your baby’s. Try and sleep when your child sleeps, especially during the day. This will boost your energy levels when the baby gets up. Try and meet other new moms – as they offer a great support structure.  Things like attending a baby massage class or a baby stimulation class – are not only great for your new born, but give you the opportunity to bond with your little one – while also meeting other new moms who may be going through the same things as you. The same for play dates and school routines – new opportunities to make new friends. What about creating ‘new’ routines – bath and feeding time can still be a fun experience.  For example, why not bath with baby – and afterwards hand them to dad, to change – while you take some time for yourself in the bath and relax after a long day.  Everyone gets to bond with baby and you get some time to yourself. For toddlers and older kids – routines are essential for good eating and sleeping patterns – so enforce these to ensure there is balance. Don’t forget to eat well – and stay well hydrated.  Your body always needs the extra– so don’t neglect your own needs. There is so much advice on how to handle being a mother and a long list of things to do to get it right, well the truth is you will find your own routine and your own ‘normal’ that works for you.  But do be weary of using things like the internet as a platform to get advice from – parenting is not a copy and paste experience and surely all kids are not born identical. Too often perceptions are not the reality. Rather trust your instincts and give yourself time to adjust to the different stages of motherhood – it’s not something that happens overnight. Just do your best – you’re a superhero anyway. Happy Mother’s Day!

May 5, 2018
Parenting Hub

Bedwetting: When to consult a doctor

Bedwetting is an issue that millions of families face every night. This can be very stressful for the whole family, and often the children feel embarrassed or guilty about wetting the bed.  Bedwetting can also cause anxiety when spending the night at a friend’s house or going away to a school camp. In most cases, children will grow out of bedwetting, but there are certain cases that will need medical attention. There can be numerous reasons for bedwetting. This is a problem experienced by an estimated 10% of South African children aged between 4-15 years old. In most cases, it’s linked to delays in physiological development. Children are unique, and each child develops at a different pace. It could also stem from being in a very deep sleep or a bowel issue like constipation. Bedwetting could also be caused by psychological problems that have resulted from issues at school or a change in family dynamics. Whatever the circumstances, the question remains: When should I start being concerned about bedwetting? Dr Michael Mol, Brand Ambassador for DryNites® Pyjama Pants, sheds some light on when parents should consult a healthcare professional when it comes to bedwetting and which specialist would suit the situation: “The signs that parents need to look out for when their child is bedwetting include: Signs of bladder or Kidney infection. These signs will be evident when your child cries or complains when urinating, when there is pink urine or bloodstains or when your child visits the toilet more frequently than usual If your child is over the age of 5 and cannot control their bladder When your child who in the past was able to control their bladder has begun to wet the bed and this is happening more frequently There are several healthcare professionals who can help deal with bedwetting. These specialists can also provide you with the relevant advice you need to assist both you and your child,” says Dr Michael Mol. A General Practitioner If your child is five years old or over but is still wetting the bed at night, you should consult your GP on the subject, especially if the bedwetting persists beyond seven years of age. It is also advised to consult your GP in the case of secondary enuresis (when a child starts to wet the bed again after a period of at least six consecutive months of nighttime dryness). A Pediatrician Your GP can recommend you to a pediatrician if the initial treatments are unsuccessful. A Pediatrician Urologist This specialist may be consulted only by referral from your GP or Pediatrician. Referrals will be made in the case of daytime bladder leakage which may be caused by a recurrent urinary tract infection. A Psychologist If your child is suffering because of regular bedwetting in terms of a loss of confidence, feelings of guilt or embarrassment, a tendency to isolate themselves, etc. you are advised to see a psychologist. Visible symptoms in children include depression, anxiety, hyperactivity, behavioral issues and lack of concentration. A psychologist may also be referred by your GP in cases of secondary enuresis. An appointment with a psychologist can be arranged by your GP or pediatrician. You cannot stop your child from wetting the bed. You can however help to manage their bedwetting by making them feel more comfortable. One way of doing this is to introduce them to DryNites® Pyjama Pants. DryNites® Pyjama Pants are available for boys and girls and come in two different sizes; 4-7 years and 8-15 years. These age appropriate disposable pyjama pants are super absorbent and comfortable like real underwear. They are thin enough so that children can discreetly wear them underneath their pyjamas, helping them to feel more confident and independent. For more information on DryNites® Pyjama Pants, or to ask Dr Mol a personal question or to request a free sample, visit  www.drynites.co.za.  DryNites® Pyjama Pants are currently available at selected retailers nationwide.

May 4, 2018
Prima Baby

Fisher-Price Alphabet Blocks

For decades, and indeed probably centuries, building blocks have always been a part of a child’s toy box.  The traditional, nostalgic aspect of the wooden toy is one that Fisher-Price have retained through much of their new baby products line, which was launched in South Africa in April through Prima Baby. The alphabet blocks provide baby with hours of fun and entertainment, but essentially they are one of the most important developmental toys a child can own.  Combining skills such as colour co-ordination, hand-eye co-ordination, balance and patience, most adults can even remember the joy and frustration these toys could bring as building large structures took loud tumbles or alternatively, became giant buildings to let the imagination run wild in.   With 26 alphabet blocks, baby can create their own sets of patterns based on the prints thereon, assisting with logical thinking abilities, fine motor skills and logical combinations. A wonderful gift for newborns to grow into and toddlers to immerse their minds into, the alphabet block is a great gesture at baby showers and early birthdays. Alternatively, parents can just go pick up a set themselves instore now at Hamleys Toy stores, selected Kids Emporium stores, www.takealot.com, www.loot.co.za, ww.purplepepperz.com, www.thebabyzone.co.za & www.cleverlittlemonkey.co.za

May 4, 2018
Parenting Hub

How to choose the right caregiver for your most precious assets

Being a parent is an exhilarating journey, but can also be met with lots of trepidation at the responsibility that accompanies this role. Navigating nappies, midnight feeds and inoculations in the early years, followed by homework and sport in the latter can be stressful. Add to that the pressure of finding someone to take care of your most precious asset whilst you at work and you can be left completely overwhelmed. Tiffiny Thomas Owner and Founder of Blue Bird Aupair Agency is no new-comer to matching the right caregivers to the right families and she offers these key tips to help parents as they seek to find the right caregiver for their child: Be clear on your needs: Are you looking for someone to just fetch and carry children after school or do you need someone full-time to take care of your baby/toddler? Knowing exactly what your child minder’s role will entail will help you to put out an advert that attracts the right candidates. For example, the former example would require the person to have a car and a driver’s license whereas the latter example would possibly require a first-aid qualification in addition to suitable experience. Do relevant checks: Never forgo the opportunity to do background and reference checks, no matter how ‘nice’ or ‘trustworthy’ the person seems. First prize is if the person is a referral of a friend or family member.  In the absence of a personal reference, be sure to phone each reference and, if you have the money, get an agency to do the necessary background checks for you.   Ask lots of questions: Ideally you want someone who will compliment your parenting style, not contradict it. So, make sure that you ask lots of questions, give scenarios and ask how they would deal with it. Whatever you do, don’t ‘lead’ the candidate to the answer you would give. Remain partial and you will quickly see if they are right for your family. Introduce your child: It is important that your child meets your candidate before the hiring takes place however DON’T be discouraged if sparks don’t fly immediately. All relationships take time to form. Instead, watch how they interact with one another and if old enough, ask your child’s opinion once the individual has left. Trust your instinct:A parent’s intuition is more powerful than any background check. Don’t be afraid to trust your gut. Enrol help: If you would prefer not to walk this road alone, consider partnering with a professional aupair agency. They will not only help eliminate time-consuming admin of sifting through CVs and sitting through hours of interviews, they will also help you with background checks, payments and more!

May 3, 2018
Parenting Hub

Bring meal times to life with JJ’s Animal Snackers: A friend in a bowl

Stir your child’s imagination, excite their mind and stimulate their sensory ability with JJ’s Animal Snacker bowls, now available in SA through Prima Baby. When every spoonful activates an animal sound, what baby wouldn’t want to laugh with the roar of the hippo or the meow of the cat whilst eating? The animal sounds of the snacker teaches babies to accept new ideas and interact with challenging concepts – literally with every spoonful of food!  The magic spoon is activated by moving within the bowl and in turn lets out an accompanying sound that is either friendly dinosaur, cat, doggie or pig. Despite being loads of fun and laughter for child and parents, the bowls are also microwavable and dishwasher safe too.  A strong suction cup keeps base secure to table or highchair to avoid spills.  Try an Animal Snacker bowl today to bring some new fun to meal times. Ages: 10 months and up. Available at: Hamleys Toy Stores, selected Kids Emporium stores,  www.loot.co.za, www.thebabyzone.co.za, www.purplepepperz.com, www.takealot.com& www.sosobabies.com

May 2, 2018
Toptots Head Office

Tactile Defensiveness

Ben’s* mom describes her child as “temperamental and anxious”. “He doesn’t like to go anywhere without me, even getting him to school has been a challenge. “ Ben* is tactile defensive. He does not like to be hugged and cuddled, and if his mom wants to hold his hand, he will only allow her to hold onto his little finger. He is very particular about the clothes that he wears, and will not tolerate having his nails cut. He hates getting dirty and will not play with glue or paints. He is an extremely fussy eater and is limited to very bland foods with certain textures. He gets very stressed in busy environments, and is happiest playing on his own. Tactile defensiveness is the tendency to react negatively and emotionally to touch sensations that other people may hardly feel or notice. It’s a result of poor processing of this type of sensation and thus the brain is over-sensitive to touch and views many typical touch sensations as being harmful thus resulting in the flight-fright-fight response. Signs to look out for: Dislikes having face or hair washed. Dislikes having teeth cleaned and resists tooth-brushing. Overly distressed when having hair/ finger-nails/ toe-nails cut. Dislikes being touched and pulls away from hugs and cuddles. Displays negative reactions to certain types of clothing. Dislikes putting hands in sand, paint, play-dough etc. Avoids going barefoot – especially on sand or grass. Seems overly fussy about the temperature or texture of food. If your child has more than two or three of these signs, it may be helpful to consult an Occupational Therapist trained in Sensory Integration, to see if your child presents with Tactile Defensiveness. Tips on stimulating the tactile system: Provide your baby with lots of touch input – swaddling with a blanket; cuddles, kisses, tickles and massage. Let your toddler crawl over different textures – grass, sand, carpets, floors, cushions, blankets etc. Let them play outside without their clothes and shoes so that they can experience the feel of different textures on their skin. Engage in creative tactile tasks like finger painting, paper-mache, using glue, playing with glitter, modelling with clay or dough or using tissue paper. Hide objects to be found in bowls of jelly, rice, pasta, sand or shaving cream. Allow your child to help with baking and cooking i.e. kneading bread dough or handling soggy spaghetti. Play dress up games where your child can feel different textures of clothes on their skin, clips in their hair, jewellery etc. Most importantly allow your child to get dirty and messy and to enjoy the freedom and joy that comes from exploring new sensations of touch, texture and temperature. This will allow their sensory system to learn to process this information in a way that is healthy and optimises their response to touch!

May 2, 2018
Parenting Hub

Quality Nutritional Supplements: A Benefit for pregnant moms

Expectant moms want the best for their babies but often feel overwhelmed by the information they receive on what is and isn’t good for them and their baby, which is often contradictory. Getting the right nutrients during pregnancy, and while breastfeeding, can help to ensure the best health outcomes for you and your baby, so it is important to be able to differentiate between facts and myths. Diet1 and appropriate nutritional supplementation2 play an important role in a healthy outcome for both mom and baby. Research has shown that conditions like excessive weight gain1,3,undernutrition caused by nutrient deficiencies2, and gestational diabetes4 during pregnancy can have a negative and lifelong impact on mom and baby.3,4 Abby Courtenay, a registered consulting dietician from Nutritional Solutions, provides tips below on how nutritional supplementation can help you have a happy and healthy pregnancy: When should you supplement your diet? If you suffer from loss of appetite, nausea or vomiting, supplementing your diet will help you reach your calorie and/ or nutrients goals. If you are not consuming enough calories, not gaining any or enough weight or carrying a high-risk pregnancy, a nutritional supplement may help to bridge any nutritional gaps.5   Nutritional supplements which are formulated to contain a variety of nutrients, can be used as a great on-the-go option for busy moms who don’t have the time to prepare healthy snacks. These nutrients include a combination of carbohydrates, proteins and fats which will assist to lower your glycaemic response6, ensuring that you have sustained energy throughout the day; as well as a host of micronutrients to support a healthy pregnancy.   It is important for you to look after yourself during pregnancy and whilst breastfeeding your baby – a happy, healthy mom ensures a happy, healthy baby Similac® Mom provides an easy and convenient nutritional solution for expectant moms as well as for breastfeeding moms. Similac®Mom is available at all major pharmacy groups and selected retail outlets and via online shopping. References and notes: Source: https://nutrition.abbott/za Muktabhant B, Lawrie TA, Lumbiganon P, Laopaiboon M. Diet or exercise, or both, for preventing excessive weight gain in pregnancy. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2015, Issue 6. Art. No.: CD007145. DOI: 10.1002/14651858.CD007145.pub3. Haider BA, Bhutta ZA. Multiple-micronutrient supplementation for women during pregnancy. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2017, Issue 4. Art. No.: CD004905. DOI: 10.1002/14651858.CD004905.pub5. Nutrition Working Group, O’Connor DL, Blake J, Bell R, Bowen A, Callum J, Fenton S, Gray-Donald K, et al. Canadian consensus on female nutrition: adolescence, reproduction, menopause, and beyond. J Obstet Gynaecol Can. 2016 Jun;38(6):508-54.e18. Abstract available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27368135 De-Regil LM, Fernandez-Gaxiola AC, Dowswell T, Pena-Rosas JP. Effects and safety of periconceptional folate supplementation for preventing birth defects. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2010 Oct 6;(10): CD007950. Abstract available from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20927767 Nutrition Working Group, O’Connor DL, Blake J, Bell R, Bowen A, Callum J, Fenton S, Gray-Donald K, et al. Canadian consensus on female nutrition: adolescence, reproduction, menopause, and beyond. J Obstet Gynaecol Can. 2016 Jun;38(6):508-54.e18. Abstract available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27368135 Augustin LS, Franceschi S, Jenkins DJ, Kendall CW, La Vecchia C. Glycemic index in chronic disease: a review. Eur J Clin Nutr. 2002 Nov [cited 2013 Jul 6];56(11):1049-71. Abstract available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12428171

May 1, 2018
Impaq

What role should parents play in academic achievement?

Hilda Erasmus – Specialist: Foundation Phase Nowadays, parents have a lot more control over their children’s lives and they want to be constantly informed about their children’s movements. Social media also allows parents to belong to groups so that they can be informed about every aspect of their children’s lives. With this, they also take responsibility for what their children should, in reality, be learning by themselves. Have you ever heard of the term “helicopter parenting”? Well, if you have not heard of it, you have definitely seen it. These parents are constantly carrying everything behind their children to ensure that the child has everything that their heart desires. The children become so dependent on the parent that they do not get the opportunity to grow into independent adults. So now the big question, how involved should you, as a parent, be in your child’s academic career? There are a few simple rules that parents can apply: The younger the child, the more time you, as a parent, should spend helping the learner with tasks and homework, guide the child to academic maturity so that they can tackle tasks by themselves later on. Make sure that your child has enough playing time, to master basic skills such as tying shoelaces, riding a bike and cutting things out. These important skills will help them to concentrate when they need to learn. Limit them to minimal screen time. It’s very easy to put a child in front of the television so that you can get things done. Children, however, need to learn to think for themselves, to keep themselves busy. This is the basis of problem solving. If you give your children all the answers, they will never learn to think for themselves. Learners must be restricted in their extra-curricular activities. Use the money you would have spent on these activities to buy books for your children. Foundation Phase learners’ schedules do not need to be more packed than their parents’ schedules and it is important that they should relax. Make sure that your child has a place to do their homework. The kitchen table is not necessarily the best place. Do not do your child’s homework but also do not leave your child to struggle on their own. A learner that lies down on their book dejected often does not know what to do, sometimes they are just too shy to ask again after it has been explained to them as they are worried that they will get a scolding. At the end of the day, it all comes down to maintaining a healthy balance. Children should think for themselves, with the vigilant eye of a parent making sure that their children learn from their mistakes without burning their fingers.

May 1, 2018
Parenting Hub

The role that father’s play in birth and beyond

We’re pregnant – words that may be met with surprise, anxiety or even unwavering joy from expectant dads. From that moment on, a father’s life changes forever, as the countdown to the arrival of the little one looms. Alan Hosking, author of the book, What Nobody Tells a New Father, agrees with this sentiment, and according to him, “Parenting is like a chronic disease. Once you’ve got it, you’ve got it for life, and you’ve got to learn to manage it”. While a large part of the birth journey, and process, is more focused towards the mother, it is also highly important that fathers are just as involved in the process. This can’t be emphasised enough given that research* indicates that children who grow up in ‘absent father’ homes show increased risk of poverty, abuse and teenage pregnancy. This truly reiterates the role that fathers play in the lives of their children – where the birth journey is just the beginning. Here are a few waysthat expectant fathers can mentally prepare themselves for the journey that lies ahead: Start the conversation between yourself and your partner – what do you think it means to be a dad? This is the most important thing a man can do to prepare for becoming a father. Physical affection, sitting down together and talking – this is needed to validate your partner and meet each other’s needs. Pregnancy can also be an uncomfortable experience for fathers and your emotional experiences can sometimes be denied. Try to express your feelings and allow your partner to listen and react to them. Learn to apologise and get rid of the emotional baggage between you and your partner before the birth, because a positive relationship between mom and dad is one of the most important factors of creating a positive birth experience and assisting healthy postnatal adjustment. Fathers play a very significant role in a child’s development and in their security. Some of these traits may come naturally and others you may need to work towards – let’s take a look: Fathers are often known to adopt a ‘tough love’ approach when playing with young children, which can sometimes result in the mother stepping in to protect her ‘little cub’.  However, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as this helps children to build trust and courage. They say that parents are a child’s first teacher, and this couldn’t be truer when teaching your child interpersonal communication skills, as these are key in almost every aspect of life. Therefore, adopt healthy communication skills with mom, and in doing so, you are able to indirectly teach your little one how to communicate effectively. Much has been said about the importance of teaching children essential money skills from an early age, as these are skills that they are able to carry through to adulthood. As a father, you also play a role in educating your child about the value of money from as early on as possible. Over and above this, security in the form of long-term financial provision is another responsibility that you have as a father. By being proactive, and starting now, you have a say and are able influence your children’s financial future to ensure that it is secure – even when you are no longer around. Sure, parenting can be overwhelming, and a role that nothing can fully prepare you for. However, as a father, it’s important to recognise that each parent plays a different role, and brings different things to parenthood. So, work towards playing on each other’s strengths and balancing this against your weaknesses, and use these to complement each other for the greater goal – your child’s long-term development and future. * https://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/how-to-involve-dad-during-after-moms-pregnancy  

April 30, 2018
Parenting Hub

Why outdoor play is vitally important for children

Children are spending an increasing amount of time indoors due to all the technology that can be easily accessed at home. Indoor technology has replaced traditional outdoor playtime. Yet, outdoor play offers social, mental and physical benefits that many children are missing out on. Here are five reasons why parents should encourage outdoor play:  1.    Combat Obesity Technology is turning more of our kids into couch potatoes, and the lack of exercise is the main reason why kids are becoming obese. Children should be active for at least an hour a day, which means they should be running, climbing and jumping outdoors. 2.    Improve Mental Health   Spending time outdoors has been found to increase lifespan, reduce symptoms of depression, stress and anxiety, decrease smoking rates and reduce the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Spending time outdoors is also beneficial for immunity development, due to our bodies being able to create important vitamin D after sunlight exposure. 3.    Connect with Nature   Being outdoors helps kids value the importance of the natural environment. When they learn about climate change, extinction of species and other biological affects at school, they are more likely to care about their own impact on the planet if they have experienced nature for themselves. For example, if a child plays in the garden and curiously observes bees pollinating the flowers, and then they hear about the endangerment of bees at school, they will care that one day they may not see bees in their garden anymore. Being disconnected from nature fosters an indifference to environmental causes. 4.    Life skill development   Through experiential and physical education children are able to learn various important life skills such as problem-solving, social skills, negotiation, and creativity. Playing outdoors with a sibling or friend will teach them self-control and how to abide by rules. Building a fort teaches them about the physical properties of various materials – how to balance things on top of one another, what material is best to use as a roof that will keep out the sun and rain etc. 5. Cultivate Creativity   Playing outdoors encourages creativity because having no access to technology will force them to be innovative and use of their imagination. Just like how it was generations ago, children will be able to integrate pieces of nature into their games by using their imagination. Think of when toys were too expensive and we made use of sticks as magic wands and stones were the substitutes to marbles. Similarly, experiencing beautiful scenery may inspire them to write, draw or paint what they observe outside. One way to break these indoor technology habits is to send your children to a holiday camp where outdoor play is made exciting again. One such camp is Sugar Bay Resort, a popular holiday camp for kids that has the perfect formula for outdoor play and freedom of choice. Children check-in their cellphones when they arrive and the kids have so much fun outdoors, that they never complain or ask for their phones back. When they return home, they often return with a renewed desire and the self-discipline to disconnect.

April 30, 2018
Parenting Hub

When screens replace teachers: danger of introducing tech in the classroom

Technology has taken the world by storm and its use now pervades arguably all fields.  The education sector is also embracing the potential that technology offers, with good schools and universities incorporating tech to strengthen educational outcomes.  But with devices and applications now ubiquitous across generations of learning – from infants to doctoral candidates – an expert has warned that teachers and lecturers must be strategic and judicious about technology, so that it supports learning rather than sabotages it. Aaron Koopman, Head of Programme: Faculty of Commerce at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider, says being cautious is particularly important at school level, where habits for lifelong learning are either adopted or abandoned. “One of the most important areas of risk, is where technology hinders the development of social and collaborative skills,” he notes. “Collaboration and teamwork are global competencies and rely on the ability of learners to engage with others to reach shared outcomes.  While there are ways in which technology can be used, such as online engagement with people on another continent, a document sharing process or a blog, it is also critical to promote collaboration, which means teachers must ensure that the face-to-face engagement skills of young learners in particular are developed,” he says. Another area of concern, is where the convenience (for educators) and addictiveness (for learners) of technology lead to a situation where it effectively replaces teachers, similar to home environments where screens become de factobabysitters. “The most effective way to use technology is to support, extend, reinforce and enhance teaching.  It becomes a risk however when one assumes that children can learn independently via technology, particularly when it is not at all interactive or responsive.” It is also problematic when technology is passive, for instance when learners and students use e-books that cannot be annotated. “This renders them less supportive of learning than hard copy books that can underlined,” says Koopman. A significant danger arises where technology is not managed, he adds. “Over and above the obvious risks when young people access inappropriate material online, classroom management of devices is critical.  If a distracted young person can virtually wander off and play a game or spend time on social media during class time because of a lack of environmental management, valuable teaching time is lost. “It is therefore necessary for good schools and institutions to put in place measures whereby they can lock down what can be accessed during class time, or through other management approaches. Having a management strategy is, however, non-negotiable.” Finally, tech fails can make for major teaching headaches. “While it makes sense to allow learners and students to bring their own devices, that can cause problems when time is wasted on incompatible operating systems or devices that are not properly charged. Good schools and institutions must specify standards for devices and have sufficient plugs and charging stations to assist with this.  Good connectivity on campus is also crucial. “Having said that, technology should not take over to such degree that learning stops when devices drop us. Good teachers should be able to keep the class learning even if half or all their devices fail. They should be able to transition into a collaborative lesson or even abandon devices completely and still be able achieve the same outcomes without tech.” Koopman says that technology’s advantages cannot be overstressed. But that equally, the importance of good real-life teachers should never be under-estimated. “Excellent teachers stimulate interest, they create excitement in the classroom, they engage with learners and they broaden the thinking of learners. They are able to relate concepts and principles to learners and customise the learning experience to the needs of the individual learners who all have different styles,” he says. “Quality teaching is in fact technology independent – if schools genuinely believe in the centrality of teaching as the magic of a learning process they will make technology decisions that support learning and teaching, not undermine it.”

April 27, 2018
Parenting Hub

Which building blocks in the Foundation Phase can ensure my child’s future?

Every parent dreams that their child will have a good job in the future. The engineer dreams that her child will be good at mathematics in order to start a successful career, while the author hopes that his child will also publish books one day, but their dreams are shattered when their child does not know how to solve a simple math problem or how to read fluently. As a last resort, the child is sent for extra classes and more pressure is put on the child in an attempt to get him/her to perform. At the end of the day, the child is burned out and the parents abandon their dreams for their child’s future. There are two basic principles that must be properly embedded in the Foundation Phase. Learners nowadays are bombarded with worksheets and computer programs that promise to teach them everything they need to know, but when further investigation is done about what is really needed to embed these principles, no worksheet or computer program can teach it to the learner. Languages In languages, a learner must be able to read comprehensively. This skill will enable the learner to read questions in tests or examinations. If we want to achieve this, the learner should at least be able to read without getting stuck or using his/her fingers. In order to read fluently, the learner must know all his sounds very well and practise regularly. When learning sounds, it must be done as practically as possible. The learner must build the sounds out of clay, practice it out loud, write it in the sand, etc. The learner must associate the letter with the explosive sound and practice it on a daily basis. If the sounds are shown to the learner, they must be able to say it out loud as quickly as possible. As soon as the learner has learned enough sounds, words and sentences can be built. Give the learner enough time and enough easy-to-read material. A learner who knows his/her sounds will read very quickly. Make sure that the learner has enough books that suit their reading ability. Books that are too difficult will demotivate the learner, but easy-to-read books will nurture a love for reading. Mathematics In mathematics, everything comes down to numerical comprehension. This means that the learner can play with a number in his head, e.g. the number 5, we can break it up into a 2 and a 3, if we double it, it’s a 10, it’s an even number and we can halve it without a remainder. The learner can immediately show 5 fingers without counting it. A learner who can count does not necessarily have numerical comprehension, counting is nothing but a rhyme learned early on. The basic principle of mathematics is to embed numerical comprehension in a learner. Numerical comprehension also leads to mental calculations that enable a learner to work faster and develop a better logical understanding of numbers. If a learner in Grade 3 still counts on his/her fingers or find ways to get answers by drawing pictures, it means that numerical comprehension is not embedded. Numeracy is learned by representing numbers visually. Collect 5 pebbles, break them up into different groups and help the learner to visualise the amounts in their head. If the building blocks for these two basic principles are well-established, the learner will have a head start in learning more difficult concepts in languages ​​and mathematics.

April 26, 2018
Kaboutjie

10 Tips on how to be an amazing mother

Everyone knows that is just isn’t possible to be the perfect mother. Being a mother doesn’t come with an instruction manual, every baby is different and so is every mother. All that we can do is strive to be the best possible mother that we can be. While is no one way to be the perfect mother but there are many things that you can do to be an amazing mother to your children. One of the challenges of being a great parent is the many roles of a mother – from being a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an employee, an employer and many more demanding roles. Juggling all of these roles and responsibilities can leave mothers feeling worn out and spread too thin by the end of the day. It is so important to keep your priorities in order, as well as to have great time management and organization skills to stay on top of things. Here are 10 great tips to help you be the amazing mother that you want to be: Parent With Love As a mother you will be second guessing yourself a lot of time and wondering whether you are making the right choices for your children. The important thing is to make your decisions based out of love. Families are bonded together with love, let this guide you. Don’t be afraid to hold your baby and to shower your children with love, hugs and kisses. Be patient and remember that the time goes by so fast, you angry toddler will soon grow out of the terrible two and your teenager will soon be an adult. Try and keep that in mind when the going gets tough. Be Their Teacher Yes your children will go to school and learn lots of things from their teacher but always remember that learning begins at home. As your child’s mother you are your child’s first teacher. You will be the person that spends the most time with your children. Make sure that you instill in your children the values and ethics that you hold dear. Teach your child manners and how to be polite. When your child is learning at school ensure that you know what your child is being taught and reinforce these lessons at home. This will give your child a good foundation for learning and ensure that your children has the best possible chance of success. Listen To Your Child When you actively listen to your child you are showing that you are interested and that you care what your child is saying. You are giving your child your full attention and a stronger bond develops. Your child will be more confident and will trust you more if you spend some time actively listening to your child. Your child will also learn how to listen properly and pay attention if you are setting the right example. Be A Good Role Model Parents are a child’s most important role models. It is human nature to want to be just like your parents, so make sure that you are a good role model in everything that you do. You can tell your children as much as you like how that should behave and they may even listen sometimes, they will learn the most from the ways that you behave and they will emulate your behavior. Children Need Your Presence Not Presents Being there for your child is of the utmost importance.  You need to be there for your child when she scrapes her knee, when she is scared of the dark, when she wants to tell you about her day at school and when she is older to help her through puberty, breakups and college. Your child is your responsibility and you need to help and guide your child every step of the way from the moment you conceive until your child is independent. Even when your child is married and has a life of her own with her own children, she will still need her mother and when things go wrong you will most likely still be the first person she runs to. Always remember that physical things will never make up for being an absent parent. You can spoil a child with things but never with love. Make sure that no matter how busy you are that you always make time to spend with your children. Be Organized As soon as you become a mother you and you become responsible for another life you will find that your life becomes much more complicated. One way to always stay on top of things is to be organized. Get a backpack diaper bag when you have a baby so that your hands are free to look after your baby and ensure that you always pack spare clothing and everything else that you need when you go out. Even when your children are out of nappies it is a good idea to always have spare clothes, spare underwear, a sun hat, suntan lotion, wet wipes and a myriad of other things you may need. While these things in itself won’t make you a better parent being prepared while out will make trips out so much easier and problem free leaving you free to concentrate on your child and what is really important. Have a daily to do list and prioritize your tasks so that all the important things get tackled first. It is so easy to get overwhelmed and forget things, having a list will make it easier to keep track of everything you need to get done. Use a diary to keep track of all your appointments, kids sports, school times and events. Protect Your Child Make sure that you protect your child from danger at all times. This starts when your child is a baby and you take steps to baby proof your home, to ensuring that your baby is fed, clothed and given good medical care when ill. As your child gets older you

April 25, 2018
Parenting Hub

Is decision making an art or a science? Is it crafted or learnt?

By Jenny Platford Crawford College La Lucia School Counsellor “You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”  (Dr Seuss) As Dr. Seuss so clearly emphasizes, much of how we go about making our decisions is based on a personal sense of self, shaped by our personality, life experiences, knowledge, sense of self- awareness and confidence, values both personal and societal. He implies that we have a sense of purpose and control over our decisions irrespective of the external factors impacting on us. There are definite steps that can be followed when making an informed decision-these include identifying and clarifying the decision that is to be made, seeking information to provide adequate knowledge and understanding, weighing up pros and cons and then making a decision based on all known entities. This may be the science of decision-making- a clear process, a plan of action. There can, however, be no definite known outcome, no matter the preparation that goes beforehand. Rather all decisions inherently offer more than one outcome and hence many involve an element of risk.   In the society in which we live, this perceived potential for risk and uncertainty, can add stress and anxiety to the larger life decisions we face. Added to this, our society is in a constant state of flux – Politically (as populist movements increase), economically (challenges from crypto currencies) and socially (with the advent of social media platforms- challenging the essence of our relationships with one another). Many young people face uncertain futures as they watch the challenge to our tertiary system. Online courses are on the increase and careers are constantly evolving. Uncertainty can foster a sense of indecision and self-doubt. The media constantly floods our cognitive space, setting definitive guidelines as to what would be construed as socially acceptable and cyber communication brings an immediate communication of all world events clouded by the advent of fake news. There is an overwhelming amount of information available to us and often, young people feel incapable of making sense of it all. How then do young people learn to take control over their lives through effective decision-making? Those students who appear adept in this skill are those who often have a clear sense of self, which has been developed as a result of authentic life experiences, rather than those based on contrived digital experiences.  They are familiar with the wonderful potential of both their intellectual and their physical capacity and have developed a sense of resilience, having faced failure in a supportive environment. Parents who allow their children to celebrate the learning that occurs when mistake are made, teach resilience. Thereby overcoming the fear of failure that often paralyses young people when they face life decisions. Young people who are allowed to be curious and independent in their thinking, find decision making another opportunity to explore the unknown, chart a different course, flex themselves. This becomes the art of decision-making. Those who travel, read, explore their faith, live in the physical, and not the digital world, get to build a wealth of insight into their capabilities, and their limitations. They have authentic knowledge as to challenges they have faced, skills they have relied on and support that they can draw on. This frees them, to try new things, trust their judgment and act out their choices. Interaction with a variety of people, exposure to diversity in terms of ideas, faith and culture is empowering and builds understanding, insight, compassion and empathy – all necessary when making informed decisions as very rarely does a decision just impact one person -inevitably, ethical considerations are often required and so a true sense of one’s personal values is of paramount importance. The world we live in requires that individuals are innovative, creative and solutions driven. All these factors require young people to be able to make decisions, act on them and then reflect on the decision made and the outcomes presented. Parents, who make all the decisions for their children, stunt their curiosity and buffer the learning process thereby preventing independence of thought and the development of self-confidence. Decision-making therefore in my mind is crafted over time, built alongside character and identity and bolstered by lessons learnt through life experiences and teachable moments.14324

April 24, 2018
Bonitas – innovation, life stages and quality care

Medical aid payments

It’s a lament often heard. There are, however, two sides to every story and the problem doesn’t always lie with the medical scheme. There are a variety of reasons for non-payment ranging from members not following the correct claiming procedures or rules, benefits not being depleted or even providers not billing correctly. Gerhard Van Emmenis, Principal Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund gives some tips on what may have gone wrong and how to fix it. The important thing to remember is that medical aid scheme options differ, which means some options cover procedures that others might not, but there are certain rules everyone needs to adhere to. Your medical scheme will usually tell you the reason for non-payment. If you are unhappy you can take it up with them, however, the best advice is to first check that the fault doesn’t lie with you or the medical practitioner. Your membership number This may sound simple but it is surprising how often an incorrect membership number or dependant code is submitted with a claim. In some instances, this information is omitted or incomplete. A medical scheme cannot pay without proof that you had the treatment. Remember to update your details if you have changed your medical aid option or medical scheme. ICD-10 codes ICD-10 codes are used by medical schemes and healthcare providers, including doctors and specialists to identify specific conditions. These must be correct as they are a diagnosis for specific conditions. If there is no ICD-10 code or, for some reasons that condition is not covered by your medical aid, the account won’t be paid.   Schemes also have sub-limits, for example they agree to pay for rehabilitation and the amount they will cover is finite, so check prior to the treatment. Certain dental procedures have definite sub-limits so it is important to read the fine print and check your policy for what is covered and what isn’t. Your contributions are not up to date It sounds simple but check that your debit order has gone through or that your employer has paid your contribution, non-payment of premiums could result in your bill not being paid – especially if your membership is suspended. The claim has expired Be aware that there is a cut-off date for submitting a claim.  It is usually four months from the date of treatment. Ensure that the correct date is on the top of the account. Your benefits are depleted If you do not manage your medical aid benefits carefully you can run out of benefits before the end of the year.  This means that you may have to pay the bill yourself. Different options have different limits for various procedures so, once again, make sure you understand what your option covers. Medical schemes are required to pay for Prescribed Minimum Benefits in full but you may have to use a specific provider. Waiting periods may apply When you join a new scheme there is a waiting period of three months and sometimes, based on your medical history, a twelve month exclusion could be enforced for certain conditions.  If you claim before the waiting period is up, the bill will not be paid. Your hospital/doctor is not on the network  Most schemes have hospital and doctors networks who agree on certain rates for their members. If you choose to go to another hospital or a private doctor you could end up paying a large portion of the bill. You didn’t use a Designated Service Providers A Designated Service Provider is a specific provider that has been appointed by a medical scheme for a specific service. If you choose not to use a Designated Service Provider, you may have to pay a co-payment or not be covered – depending on the Scheme Rules or your specific plan limits. Pre-authorisation was not obtained If you are going to undergo a procedure you need to get authorisation from your medical aid ahead of going to hospital and, once again, make sure you have the right information and ICD-10 Codes for this. You’re using medicine that’s not on the formulary Every scheme has a formulary, which lists chronic medication approved by your medical aid. These are often generics which are copies of the original medication but more affordable. Ask your pharmacist for a generic as a matter of course as it will ensure your benefits last longer. The procedure or treatment may be an exclusion All medical schemes have a list of exclusions which are not covered. This often includes cosmetic surgeries and non-medical expenses. Van Emmenis says, ‘If you read the small print and know exactly what the rules are for your medical aid and the plan you are on, you will be able to ensure that your benefits last as long as possible and that the bills are paid.’

April 24, 2018
Parenting Hub

Help! My Child is in the wrong crowd

‘We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them in mutual weirdness and call it ‘friendship’’ This quote from Dr Seuss beautifully illustrates our inherent need to connect with others who make us feel valued and accepted. Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says ‘The need for human connection sees many young people getting involved in friendships which are not good for them. The ‘wrong crowd’ friendships are those relationships which do not uphold positive behavioural choices and who are consistently seeking ways in which to harm others or engage in self-destructive activities.’ Cindy goes on add ‘All negative behaviours stem from fears rooted in negative self-belief. We cannot control the behavioural choices of others but we can do something to assist our children in making better friendship choices.’ Consider these helpful hints: 1. BE the person you wish to see in your child. Teach your child about positive friendship choices by having positive friendships in your life.  Let go of toxic relationships-it takes courage but you will give your child the courage to do the same. 2. Foster communication channels with your child which are based on trust and non-judgemental support and love.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your imperfect child could feel safe enough to speak of his imperfectness to his imperfect parent, knowing that, together, you will find positive solutions? 3. Help your child develop a strong sense of self-value.  This will give him the courage to stand firm in his convictions and be able to say ‘no’ to negative peer pressure. He will not have anything that needs proving because he will know who he is! 4. Teach your child about consequences.  All choices have consequences and nobody can escape this! 5. Teach your child to honour and respect himself just as you honour and respect yourself.  In this way, your child will not have a need to become involved in destructive relationships. 6. Find ways for your child to enjoy activities beyond the school environment. Hiking, dancing, art, music and so many other activities will keep your child from becoming bored and tempted into negative groups and it has the added benefit of learning new skills and developing confidence! 7. Dream big!  Remind your child of the possibilities that lie ahead for him/her!  Having something to work towards is a wonderful way to stay out of trouble despite negative peer pressures! Cindy summarises by saying ‘You cannot force a change in friendships but you can help your child develop a better sense of self.  Children who respect, honour and appreciates who they are, are less likely to seek connection with those who do not mirror their values.’

April 23, 2018
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