Advice Column - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Child drowning – a leading cause of childhood death that is entirely preventable

Drowning remains one of the top causes of unnatural childhood death in South Africa and for every child that dies from drowning, five are left with permanent brain damage from the lack of oxygen that occurs in a near-drowning. Manufacturer of the leading child safety pool cover in SA, PowerPlastics Pool Covers, is on a drive to remind parents that drownings are entirely preventable with multiple layers of safety applied to the pool. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover and adult supervision at all times should be included in these layers of safety at all times. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover offers parental peace of mind as it completely seals off the entire pool. The PVC cover is drawn over strong aluminium batons that rest on the coping, and a tamperproof ratchet fastening system makes it impossible for a small child to access the water. Small drainage holes prevent rain or sprinkler water from collecting on the cover as just a few millimetres of water can be fatal to a curious child. The cover withstands up to 220kg and is easily deployed by two people, or it can be semi-automated for single person usage. “For years we have been educators in pool safety for children and, with our solid safety cover, parents not only get peace of mind, the cover also allows significant savings on water, power and chemicals, unlike alternatives such as nets and fences which still leave the water exposed,” says Carolyn Idas of PowerPlastics Pool Covers. “But a cover only saves lives if it is actually on the pool. Being lazy about re-securing a pool after use is surprisingly common. For this reason, we developed our safety cover so that it is hassle-free and does not require brute force. Next time you ‘can’t be bothered’, consider the alternative which could be a drowning due to negligence.” The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is available in a range of colours, allowing it to blend into the outdoor area, or it can be custom printed with photos and graphics for a unique 3D effect. Thermal pool covers or ‘bubble’ covers that lie directly on the water should never be considered as child safety pool covers as they do not bear weight. These covers heat the pool and save water by stopping evaporation but their purpose does not include child safety. “As part of our education in the community, we launched TopStep, the home of pool safety, an educational website with tips and advice on preventing drownings. Aside from covering the pool, every adult in the home needs to know what a drowning in progress actually looks like as TV has created wide misconceptions around this. There is no noise or splashing nor calls for help. Drowning is quick and silent. Visit www.topstep.co.za to learn more about this.” Even if one doesn’t have children, it is still necessary to consider safety for visitors. Families living in residential complexes with a communal pool should insist that their body corporate install a safety pool cover. “The bottom line is that children need to be supervised around pools, and as long as the pool is covered by us and other layers of safety are in place, the likelihood of a tragedy occurring in your pool is greatly reduced.” Learn about the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover here or email [email protected] Practical tips for pool safety Don’t let your pool’s water levels drop. Keeping the pool topped up allows for small arms to easily grab the edge if needed. For every two children in the pool, have one adult supervising. The more children, the more supervisors needed. Be aware that children’s pool parties are high risk events. For larger groups, give the designated supervisor a bright hat to wear so the children know who to call for help. Turn off fountains and water features. Not only do they waste water and power, they can cause ripples and splashing, making it harder to see when a child has encountered difficulty in the pool or has sunk to the bottom. Ensure that every adult in the home knows CPR, including domestic workers. Never hire a baby sitter or au pair who can’t swim. Don’t let anyone who has been drinking or on sedative medication supervise children in a pool. Don’t leave toys in or near an open pool as children will be tempted to retrieve them. Teach your child to swim fully clothed and with shoes on. If your child develops a fear of water, don’t ignore this – a child who panics is at greater risk of drowning. Never allow swimming after dark. Discourage your dogs from swimming. Children and pets in a pool are not a good mix. Never leave the pool without securing it with your PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Never design / build a pool that cannot be secured for child safety. Drowning myths Television has a lot to answer for when it comes to how drowning is portrayed and there are many myths out there. Be aware of the signs and remember that the appearance of a drowning can vary widely. Myth #1: Drowning children will shout for help Drowning children are physiologically unable to call out. The respiratory system is designed for breathing – speech is the secondary function. Drowning children’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface but while their mouth is above the surface, they need to exhale and inhale before they sink again. There is not enough time to cry out. Myth #2: Drowning children wave their arms to attract attention or will thrash in the water Drowning children cannot wave for help. A person who is drowning cannot perform voluntary movements such as waving or moving towards a rescuer. Envisage the surface of the water as a platform. Someone who is drowning often presses down on the surface and tries to use it as leverage to get their mouth above the water’s surface to breathe. So what the onlooker sees are arm movements that can appear

July 6, 2018

Can Sleep Training harm my baby?

With the stigma around the cry-it-out method – which is what the majority of parents believe sleep training your baby to be – there is no wonder that moms and dads are right to question whether sleep training can harm their baby. In South Africa, the controversial “sleep training” debate has heated up considerably over the last few months. With so many puritan views on the subject, it’s difficult to discern which information is objective, honest and suitable for everyday families. I am afraid that the vast amount of knowledge and information on the internet has also not helped parents, because there’s no way to judge who is right and who is wrong!? And the “shock effect” that is so popular on social media has caused all of us at one point in our lives to share articles titled “Ferber sleep training harms baby” and the like on social media without even understanding the context or information contained in the article. There are two very different spheres of parenting styles that influence the heated debate on baby sleep trainers. On the one hand you have the attachment approach which is applauded by parents who don’t believe mom and baby should ever be separated and on the other hand you have the parent-directed approach, which is comforting for the parents who know they function better on a good night’s sleep. Essentially, it’s the parent-led or baby-led mommy mantra… And everyone wants to pitch in defending their views on the subject. What is sleep training? Knowledge is power, and it is even more powerful in the paediatric sleep debate. I also honestly believe that most of us have a deeply skewed view of the nature and process of sleep training. Sleep training is not equivalent to crying but sleep training might include crying. Sleep is a skill and a discipline. It is us (as parents) that often interfere with the process of our children learning how to sleep well (propping our kids up with bottles, feeds, dummies, rocking them continuously, etc.). Think about a child who’s learning to walk: if your child is always placed in a walking ring and is never given the chance to explore or pull themselves up against a couch, how will they learn how to walk? However, in the same breath, you don’t need to explain to your child which muscles to flex for them to walk by themselves. They’ll figure this all out in a safe environment that allows them to practice. In much the same way, a safe sleep environment, with a parent who respects the need of the child to learn to sleep, will be rewarded with a child who learns the skill and the discipline to do so. I prefer the term sleep coaching or sleep consulting rather than sleep training. It is not supposed to be a sleep training technique or approach, but rather a whole eco system and holistic viewpoint of creating an environment which suits your parenting style and allows your baby an optimum environment for sleeping through the night. Can crying harm my baby? Maybe one of the biggest reasons for the “I hate sleep training” slogan is that parents believe sleep training involves crying. When I was a first-time mom, I believed that baby only cried when he was close to dying. Hence, it was the reason I was in a complete panic the first time I took my baby home and he did not stop crying! However, babies cry. Period. Studies suggest that a newborn baby cries on average for 2 to 3 hours a day! All babies cry. Sometimes because they are wet, cold, hot, uncomfortable, unhappy and/or hungry, and sometimes just because they are babies. Babies cry. A lot. To expect your child to never cry is unrealistic and unnatural. The truth is this – no amount of crying will make a baby sleep without first addressing the fundamental building blocks of excellent quality sleep. Without addressing those, you will only cause unnecessary heartache for yourself. A client recently asked us to help her sleep train her 9-month-old baby. After a more thorough analysis it became clear that the baby was underfed, and this was the reason for it not sleeping through the night. Once we addressed the nutritional issues this baby slept like… well… like a baby. Use your instinct as a mother and more than anything your good common sense! Will leaving your 18-month-old (after you’ve addressed all his/her needs) to cry for 10 minutes rather than responding to a tantrum, undo the love and attentiveness you’ve given her the rest of the day (or life!) and harm her? Of course not. Will responding to your toddler who needs your attention right before you breastfeed your second baby and as such the second baby cries a little, psychologically damage her? Never! So how can a few minutes of crying harm your child? It simply makes no sense. The problem comes in when parents read the wrong information on the subject, and leave their children to cry for hours, night after night, without any improvement or success and then they start doubting the process and proclaim that sleep training does not work. It is highly likely that the child was never properly “sleep trained” in the first place. (And to support this statement, about 85% of the clients that Good Night Child Sleep consultancy work with have done some form of “sleep training” before without success!) What sleep training method should I use? Does that mean then that one sleep training method is better than the other? The truth is that there are many ways to get to same place. You can walk, run, crawl or fly – it all depends on your preferences and your situation. Remember that sleep training a three-month-old is vastly different to sleep training a 9-month-old and the question that you should ask yourself is NOT whether you can allow your child to cry. No child’s needs need to be

July 6, 2018

Back off your Matrics

I will be 42 this year, and I still from time to time have nightmares about my matric exams. I’ve dealt with a lot of stressful situations since then, but nothing quite compares to that feeling that what happens in those few weeks will determine the rest of your life. The truth? It won’t. And it doesn’t matter even half as much as we make out that it does. I had months of sleepless nights and tears and panic attacks to get those good results that in the end have had absolutely no impact on the course of my life. My brother, in opposition to me, did absolutely no work, dropped out of school in Standard 9 and went on to technikon and is doing brilliantly as a computer programmer. We’ve both done just fine in our lives and matric had nothing to do with it. Added to this, my first high school I attended had one matric for every year I was there who committed suicide during the matric exams. Why? Because of the unnecessary pressure that we put on our kids to perform and the false assumptions that we fill them with that if they don’t do well at this they will be a failure. This is not ok. Not ok at all. In calm, rational reality, if a child fails their matric, or even doesn’t do as well as they would have liked, they can always repeat it later. If they don’t take the right subjects for a chosen career, they can always catch them up later too. It may even be that what they really want to do with their lives (not what we have decided they should do) may not even require a matric at all. My kids spent 5 years in a homeschooling environment where I have watched countless kids who have been homeschooled or unschooled getting their matric without any stress, drama, tears or terror. They simply write their subjects as and when they are ready; they focus on things they enjoy; and they have support but not pressure. Some of them complete their matric when they are 9, some when they are 19, and some at 29. Without the erroneously prescribed timeframes they simply do it when they are ready and when they feel comfortable tackling the challenge. Of course we all want our kids to succeed. But what does their success actually mean to you? And what are you prepared to do to them to get them to achieve it? Does it mean straight A’s even though your child hates you, school and themselves by the end of it? Does it mean pushing kids beyond their limits until they run away, retreat into drugs, or commit suicide? Do you really care about what is right for your child or do you care about what looks good for you? Who are they actually getting those marks for? And why? These are tough questions and they may have the hairs on your neck standing up, but I have watched children die trying to achieve the lost dreams of their parents. A child who grows up happy and with a somewhat ‘mediocre’ life is infinitely more successful that a dead child who failed to live up to their parents’ expectations. We have to redefine what is important and what success actually means. There is no report card on the planet that justifies alienating your children, pushing them beyond their limits or creating lifelong anxieties. We need to start putting matric in perspective. It is one round of exams, that in no way defines who you are or what you are capable of. What they really measure is how well you fit into the system, and 90% of people don’t. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t encourage your kids to do their best. Please do. But include in that helping them to see how well they can do while still keeping their lives in balance. Are your matrics eating well, sleeping well, getting some exercise, keeping their stress levels under control, enjoying their relationships with family and friends, finding time for spiritual and creative pursuits, and having some fun? If not, it’s time to back off with the pressure and help them to get their studies in line with the rest of their lives.

July 6, 2018

To Answer or Not To Answer? That Is The Question.

When I first had kids I thought it was important to answer them when they asked a question. So when they hit the “why?” stage (and mine were close together so they were both doing it at the same time) I was answering upward of 50 questions every hour almost every hour of the day. One day as we were going for a walk they asked me why all the dogs in the neighbourhood barked as we went past. I told them that the dogs are protecting their property and think we might be burglars. To which my 3 year old replied, “You’re not a burglar you’re the answer lady!” I liked being the answer lady until they started asking questions I didn’t have answers for. From around 4 they started to ask about what happens after we die and can everything get sucked into a black hole and what is our purpose and how did the universe begin and other such perplexing inquiries.I don’t have all the answers. None of us do. We are not encyclopedias or the Internet or philosophical sages. I realized that by providing the answers I’d been robbing them of the opportunity it to have wonder at the world: To ponder and contemplate and question and be in awe. One of the most marvelous things about life is the mystery that it holds which comes in all the unanswered questions. It’s like the hugest puzzle we’ve ever attempted and we’ll be lucky in our lifetime to place one piece correctly and get a sense of how it contributes to the bigger picture. Children approach the world with this incredible awe and by answering all their questions we take away some of the mystery. We teach them to assume that there is an answer and an explanation for everything and that nothing is particularly magical. We take away some of the excitement of trying to figure out what’s going on for ourselves. So now what I do when they ask me a question, is that I throw it back at them with an… “Aah. That is an interesting question. In fact philosophers like you, throughout time, have been pondering that same thing. I’d love to know what you think about that.” Or if it’s a more factual question I suggest ways they might find out the answer themselves. Or I encourage them to think about it or set up an experiment to test their hypothesis. Or I suggest someone we know who is an expert in that field that they might be able to consult if they want to delve deeper. I’m always open to having a discussion on something they’re exploring, but instead of being the answer lady I prefer now to be the “with you in the wondering lady”. It has helped me to grow as a person to not expect every question to have an answer: To know that some things are beyond my grasp right now and some things will be forever outside of my realm of understanding. The world is a little more alive when we look at it through the eyes of a child and ask “why?” without necessarily expecting an answer. “Why?” shows a fascination with this very extraordinary place that we call home. As much as your children are genuinely trying to understand the world and may even need a concrete answer sometimes, it is important for us to acknowledge and value the questioning as much (or more so) than the answer.

July 6, 2018

What I learned from my journey through Postnatal Depression…

I’m no stranger to depression. From as far back as I can remember I’ve had bouts of it, some severe, some just dragging out like a rainy British summer. So when I read about PND in a pregnancy book I felt sure that I would recognise it if it hit me. I didn’t. The first time I realised something was wrong I was already on my way to familicide. I was literally loosening the top of the gas bottle where my husband and baby were sleeping peacefully when it occurred to me that this was not normal. The thing is, I didn’t feel depressed. All that was going through my mind was how nice it was going to be to have a really long sleep.Depression in the past for me had always meant crying… And crying… And crying. This was different. It manifested as an underlying irritability. Everything and everyone was annoying. My temper was short and my tongue was vicious. And the layers of guilt piled up high on top of that. The morning after that realisation I called the PND help group. Even then I was fighting to stay off meds. I wanted to be a “good mother” and breast feed for as long as possible. I was told that a good mother is one who is alive to see her child grow up and bottle fed babies grow up too. Too true. And so began my journey to figure out what went wrong and how I could shift this depressive state once and for all. My first glimmer of hope came from a talk I went to by a prominent nutritionist. He spoke about research they had conducted into PND and how the vast majority of cases we’re deficient in omega 3s. This specifically affected vegans and vegetarians. I had been a vegetarian for 20 years. I put myself onto a high dose of omega 3 fish oils (yes, I had to do some soul searching and moral debating first) and I weaned myself off the anti depressants within 6 months. During this time I did further research into PND and found four pervasive factors that contribute to your chances of going down this slippery slope: The first is your perception of the birth. Well I definitely ticked that box. I saw the whole experience as the most traumatic event of my life. I had anger at the midwife for misunderstanding my needs and requests. I had anger at my husband for not having to go through it; for just getting to enjoy the good bits. I had anger at myself for being so traumatised that I was unable to bond with my baby. I had A LOT of emotional processing to do. I set out to acquire the skills to do that. I had no intention of spending years in a psychologists office rehashing the event. I wanted results, and I wanted them yesterday. Babies grow fast and there was one growing up in front of me needing me to be in my best possible state to raise her. The second is your relationship with your mother. Research shows that women with a poor relationship with their own mother have a much higher chance of having a traumatic birthing experience and a higher chance of depression post partum. Tick again. My relationship with my mother was not horrific, more like not there. Again, I set about finding the tools for letting go of the past and any lingering hurt, anger and resentment. What I found was a way not just to understand the past but to actually come to a place of gratitude for everything that has ever happened, even the stuff we label as bad. A life of gratitude is a long way from a life of depression. Number three is the instant and dramatic shift in values that you experience. It is like being kicked out of comfort zone so far that you have no idea what your comfort zone even looks like and no strength to crawl back in it if you did find it. It takes time and patience to form a new one and usually if the shift has been dramatic it means that your kids are coming out somewhere near the new top. The fourth idea I came across much later, and that is the link between depression and fantasies. All depression has its basis in an unfulfilled fantasy and nowhere is a fantasy more thrown in your face than in motherhood. The moving pictures and glossy pages that fill your pregnant world are endowed with images of doting mothers, smiling sweetly down at their breastfed babies. They are not filled with bedraggled mothers wincing in pain as their babies latch into their cracked, bleeding nipples. They show you images of happy families, their white clothes blowing in the breeze as they throw their giggling baby into the air on the beach. They don’t show you the mother who cannot leave the house for fear of leaking through the two boat-sized pads she is wearing to soak up the B-grade horror movies’ worth of blood she’s losing daily. They show you happy families snuggling in bed together doting on their newborn with their hair looking gorgeous and their make up already done. They don’t show you the unshaven husband sleeping in the couch because to his sleep deprived wife his snoring is more like a log than a straw breaking that poor camels back. We get sold a well-meaning lie. The truth is uglier and harsher, but real. And acceptance of reality is one of the cornerstones of emotional well-being. I had to face a lot of ugly messy truths, including the one where I was a less than perfect mother. And that is true. And that is ok. You see what makes me good at what I do is not that I was or ever will be the perfect parent. What makes me good at what I do

July 6, 2018

School yourself on feeder zones: A parent’s guide

South Africa, 13 June 2018: “If I buy in Kensington will my kids get into Jeppe?” “Will owning a house in Mowbray get Tanya into Rustenburg?” “Is that Lansdowne house in Livingstone’s catchment area?” Online property company PropertyFox gets asked questions like these daily. Most parents are preoccupied with whether to buy property in an area that may secure a spot at one of the country’s best schools. To assist buyers with better decision making, PropertyFox commissioned research into South Africa’s feeder zones and catchment area policies. Today it released the first ‘PropertyFox School Feeder Zones guide. The company’s research ring-fenced 65 of the top public high schools according to academic success at matriculation level. It found that: 6 specified their preferred suburbs (9%) 6 specified their preferred primary feeder schools (9%) 29 gave preference to learners who lived close to the school (44%) 25 had no explicit zones (38%) Crispin Inglis, co-founder and CEO of PropertyFox – which sells houses at a low commission to ensure customers get the best deal – says, “It is hard for parents to get to grips with exactly where to buy property so that they have the best chance of being accepted into a specific school. And it is a catch-22 because until you have an address and apply, you won’t know if you will get in.” “Catchment area information is extremely hard to find so our aim was to give parents some direction as to how to approach their property search, or how to find a school near their home. We’ve shared as much information as possible – from provincial legislation around policies through to hints as to which suburbs are viable options near schools.” PropertyFox also researched average house prices in some of the top school suburbs in the country – from Rondebosch and Durbanville in the Cape, to Northcliff in Jozi, Glenwood in Durban and Selborne in East London. Inglis continued that the feeder zone guide is aimed squarely at property buyers in the market for a house in the R1.5-million and above level who want to buy near their school of choice. Some of the key take-outs: Although guided by the province, each school has jurisdiction over its admission policy as set by the school governing body (SGB). Living in a feeder catchment area is never a guarantee of admission, it’s rather a contributing criterion. Legislation varies from province to province about feeder zones. In 2018, a default 5km radius for feeder zones applied in Gauteng. The updated 2019 policy gives preference to learners based in feeder zones, along with siblings, and pupils from primary schools that are closest to the high schools in the area. In the Western Cape, there’s no explicit provincial feeder zone policy, but the research shows some SGBs do sway preference towards certain areas. KwaZulu-Natal and the Eastern Cape also don’t have explicit provincial feeder zone policies, but many schools have SGB-determined catchment areas. In the Free State, provincial policy gives preference to learners living near a certain school. Competition for SA’s top public schools is high. Research for the guide revealed that some parents put their kids’ names down for school when they’re still in utero. Others camp outside desired schools all night and some change address, moving as close as possible to their coveted educational institute. PropertyFox partnered with independent education researcher Kerry Petrie on the project. She made personal contact with the person responsible for admissions at each of the public schools listed to compile the guide. Petrie says that public education in South Africa is complex as a result of the country’s history, “It is heartening that many schools have expanded – or are planning to expand – their radius to make sure they accept learners from further afield, giving people from diverse, less affluent suburbs access to the country’s top schools.” Some private schools were also included from a property location perspective. To download the report and for more information on PropertyFox, visitPropertyfox.co.za.

July 6, 2018

Silent Children

When I first had my own kids I knew immediately that the responsibility I felt towards them extended to all the children out there – that only by caring for all the children of the world could I help to create a world where my own children would feel safe and loved. I started exploring… How could I help? Where to begin? How could I begin to bring stillness to such a chaotic world? There seemed to be so much pain, so much hatred, so many children unloved. When I finally came to the journey of coaching, it seemed self-evident to me that I would work with parents and teachers. I had tried to trace things back to where best to intervene in the lives of children, and realized that it was only by helping the parents and teachers to heal their own hurts that their children had a chance. And yet, over the years of working with adults I have come to realize that my work on this planet goes beyond just individually helping one parent or teacher at a time to heal and become whole so that they can pass this legacy on to their kids. It started one day as I was chatting to a good friend and Educational Psychologist and telling her about a little girl I knew who was malnourished and not flourishing. What she said to me has stuck – she said, “You have to be a voice for that child. She is too young to have a voice of her own”. And it was in that moment that I realized that part of what I needed to do was to be a voice for the silent children. Every day, as I work with the parents and teachers, I hear stories of trapped children – of the inner children of these adults who have been silent for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. Children who have been crying out for love, crying out to be noticed, crying out for someone to hear them; but crying out silently. Their cries are not heard, because just like our children now, their cries are not understood. All we see is misbehavior, anger, bitterness, fighting, nastiness and rejection, and yet all negative behavior is a cry. Every day there are a million ways that we can show our children they are not loved – by an unconscious dismissal of them as we chat on the phone, by not really listening, by the constant “just now’s”, the rushed bedtimes, the television babysitters, the disapproving looks, the expectation of performance or specific behaviours, the refusal to see their needs as equal, by the lack of our presence. And yet every day there are a million ways we can show them they are loved – by taking their concerns seriously, by slowing down, by really seeing, hearing and noticing them, by listening to them in their language – even if it is the language of screams and tantrums and naughtiness and obstinance. It is only when we look past the behaviour to the hidden message that we will stop pushing our children away just when they need us most. We need to learn to listen – to our own cries, to the cries of our loved ones, to the cries of our children. Everyone is doing the best they can with the programming they currently have. And everyone deserves to be heard, and every cry needs to be released. There are people I meet in my practice who have been holding back their tears for half a century, hanging on to hurt that everyone else has long since forgotten. I have a head full of stories of silent children, children who could not speak up for themselves because they didn’t have the language to express their pain and they were not allowed to express it physically. Let those children out; Let them cry. Let them find their voices so that the next generation of children can also be allowed the basic right of expression. Please, cry. And let your children cry. Allow the wounds of the past their expression and release. Let us put an end to silence so that stillness can emerge.

July 6, 2018

Preparing youth for the workplace of the future

Entering the working world can be daunting for graduates, and even more so when the workplace is not what they expected. With the pace of mushrooming disruptive technologies, artificial intelligence (AI) and machine-driven learning, even the youth are feeling a sense of uncertainty. A recent study entitled “The Future of Skills: Employment in 2030” http://futureskills.pearson.com forecast that one in five workers are in professions today that will shrink worldwide. This means today more than ever before students need to make the right decision when it comes to selecting a course to study. To ensure the youth are selecting a career that offers longevity the study indicates that jobs involving knowledge, creation, and innovation are what to search for. While machines get down to the nitty-gritty manual tasks this will mean people are freed up to explore, knowledge share, and find interesting solutions collaboratively to some of the world’s complex problems. Managing Director for Pearson South Africa, Ebrahim Matthews says, “The study highlighted that while many jobs today will still be in demand by 2030 – the skills required for success in these roles are changing. When it comes to the daunting topic of ‘Jobs of the Future’ we are already doing the research to prepare our students for careers that don’t yet exist! There will be jobs that require certain human skills in the future, these cannot be replaced by the automated world – human skill, and experience that ultimately matter to learning.” Tertiary career options need to be taken seriously, for example institutions should forge close ties with various South African corporates and they should become involved in the induction and readiness workshops for students. Mid-year intakes are also a great option for students who didn’t quite know what to study straight after school. The first 6 months of the year could have solidified a career path, and given them more time to save toward studying. Matthews concludes, “Everything we; we do with employability in mind. All our academic programmes are focused on getting our students ready for the world of work. Our courses have been carefully selected to include academic fields that will give students the opportunity to exit with a qualification that is highly desirable in the market.” The full report: Jobs 2030 can be viewed here: http://futureskills.pearson.com.

July 5, 2018

Chastising Your Child: Parents Take Note

By Shereen Volks, Head of Divorce & Family Law, STBB | Smith Tabata Buchanan Boyes The question of whether parents should be allowed to chastise their children has been a heavily debated topic over the past couple of years. In terms of South African common law, parents were allowed to chastise their children, provided that such chastisement was reasonable. Parents could then raise a special defence of reasonable chastisement against assault charges arising therefrom. This principle was confirmed in the judgment of R v Janke and Janke 1913 TPD 382 and in numerous judgments thereafter. To date, no legislation has been promulgated to either regulate what constitutes reasonable chastisement or to prohibit it completely. It has, however, been argued (after the promulgation of the interim Constitution and later the 1996 Constitution, which focusses on human rights) that chastisement constitutes an infringement on these very rights. In line with this reasoning, the promulgation of the Schools Act, Act 84 of 1996, prohibits chastisement at schools. The recent judgment in the Gauteng High Court, YG v S 2018 (1) SACR 64 (GJ), took a stance against the defence of reasonable chastisement when it was tasked with determining whether this defence is unconstitutional. The father in this matter (the accused) was charged with assault with intention to do grievous bodily harm after he repeatedly smacked his 13-year-old son. The accused’s defence was that he was merely exercising his parental right of reasonable chastisement. The court found that even if parents’ actions fall within the scope of reasonable chastisement, there is still an element of physical violence involved and it therefore infringes on the child’s right to bodily integrity and dignity. Furthermore, allowing the defence of reasonable chastisement takes away children’s right to equal protection under the law and undermines the state’s obligation to protect children from violence. The infringement on children’s rights could not be reasonably justified and therefore the court held that the defence of reasonable chastisement is unconstitutional. According to the court, doing away with the defence of reasonable chastisement would not result in harsh criminal sanctions being imposed on all parents found guilty of assault, as these parents should rather be sent for prevention and intervention services with the aim of promoting positive parenting. Until this matter is dealt with in the Constitutional Court, this judgment does not have a binding effect on any court outside the jurisdiction of the Gauteng High Court. However, it will be considered when any other court is faced with answering the same question. Contact: [email protected]

July 5, 2018

The art of managing meltdowns and tantrums

Meltdowns and tantrumsare a normal part of growing up. All children have them. Contrary to what your friends or your interfering aunt may say, they certainly don’t mean that you are a bad parent or that your baby or toddler has problems. They are related to your child’s unique sensory temperament and developing brain, which means that some babies and toddlers are more inclined to have these emotional outburstthan others. If your baby hasn’t had one yet, don’t think “It will never happen”. I promise you that it will! And that’s not a bad thing. Having an emotional outburst while you are young, with a mom or dad or aunt or grandparent around who is able to help you find ways to make sense of all that emotions and guide your behaviour, is a wonderful opportunity for brain development and learning. It’s important to understand that there is a difference between meltdowns and tantrums. Once you understand this, then you can practise ways of managing it correctly. The result is your baby learning a very important (if not the most important) life skill. First there’s the meltdowns The peak age for meltdowns is eighteen to twenty-four months. Some have it earlier and for others it continues throughout toddlerhood. And don’t forget that adolescents and even us as adults can have the occasional meltdown. Big feelings like frustration, anger, disappointment and fear overwhelms little underdeveloped brains. It causes the primitive emotional part of the brain to be in the driving seat. And the thinking part of your baby’s brain is shutting off. The result is a hissy fit over something as apparently silly as having to share a favourite toy, having play interrupted, having to get into the car, having to put on a jersey or teeth brushed. Thinking being switched off also results in poor impulse control – making it difficult for a little kiddo to wait. If they want something they want it NOW! But there’s hope. Betweenthree and four years, with your toddler’s improved language skills, he is learning impulse control, his frustration tolerance is increasing and, owing to a more developed thinking brain, the frequency and intensity of his meltdowns will decrease. Then there’s the tantrums For some toddlers, however, the increase in the ability to use the thinking brain may lead to more deliberate and calculated behaviour. And this results in the nasty old tantrum. Caused by the desire to control and manipulate. If your toddler sees that they work then they will increase. He will learn that he is able to manipulate you in order to get what he wants. The secret lies in walking closer or walking away A baby or toddler having a meltdown needs someone who will move closer, give them a hug, talk softly and help find ways to calm down. Walking closer will help your baby or toddler feel safe and understood. With time she will learn to manage big feelings without falling apart. A baby or toddler having a tantrum need someone who can set the boundaries, give choices for expected behaviour and then walk away. Walking away tells your toddler that her manipulative behaviour will not cause you to give in. Lizanne du Plessisis the author of Raising Happy Children. She is an experienced occupational therapist with a special interest in the identification and treatment of children with sensory processing disorder. She presents training and workshops for parents, teachers and professionals and contributes to professional publications and magazines. Lizanne feels passionate about empowering parents and her work has enabled thousands of parents and professionals to discover and understand their child’s true nature, support their development, manage daily challenges and build strong relationships. Visit Lizanne’s blog at www.lizanneduplessis.comto read more as she continues her quest of raising happy kids and being a joyful parent, follow her speaking schedule and join in the conversation with other intentional parents.

July 4, 2018

The value of sports and exercise

“Children should be playing and moving outdoors instead of sitting indoors” Says Elzanne Van Der Walt, Sports Scientist and Clamber Club Sports franchise owner. Skills learned through playing and sporting activities can contribute to the educational development of children, help children to develop physically, and can shape them to be better human beings. In this article, Elzanne gives us some valuable information and tips on the benefits of sporting for children.” “Sport can affect the development of a child’s self esteem and self-worth.” Dr Glyn Roberts What can sporting activities do for my child? Teach key values– Participating on the playground and sports field teaches values: Honesty – through fair play and sticking to the rules of the game. Teamwork – through interaction with others, kids learn to play and work together. Respect – for yourself, others and equipment used during the games. Ability to follow rules – to listen to someone other than a parent or teacher, and to abide by the rules for the good of the team. Punctuality – being early, and ready to start when the team does. Controlling emotions – sporting games and activities can often lead to strong emotions, such as disappointment, frustration, exhilaration etc. Part of sports is learning how to control your temper and other emotions so that you can participate effectively and in the spirit of good sportsmanship. Build strong healthy bodies – Sporting activities and exercise can: Immune system– getting enough exercise strengthens the immune system, which fights infections= Heart– improves oxygen supply to the heart muscles and makes the heart more effective. Posture– improves agility, flexibility and overall posture. Lungs– strengthens the muscles used for breathing, making breathing more efficient and increasing lung capacity. Bones– increases the bone density, making them stronger and less likely to break. Sleep– improves sleep and reduces anxiety. Concentration– increased oxygen to the brain helps to improve concentration. Develop gross motor skills: Body awareness Balance Eye hand and eye foot coordination Coordination of body sides and crossing the body midline Balls skills such as catching, throwing, and kicking Elzanne’s top SPORTING tips: Keep your children physically active– The more active kids are, the higher their skills level will be, the more valuable they will feel, and the more motivated they will be to develop new skills and take on bigger challenges. Learn broad sporting skills when young– A preschooler needs to be learning basic techniques and generalized sporting skills, and not those of a specialized sport. If young children have a broader spectrum of sport skills in general it is much easier for them to decide what sports they favor and to see what they are best at. Then at a later stage (when they are a bit older) they can specialize in whatever they are best at or like the most. Allow for competitionin the older child and learn to lose with grace – Learning to deal with competition is a huge advantage for a child in terms of life skills, and is learnt from participating in competitive sporting games. This is also healthy, but it must be presented and taught the right way. Learning to cope with winning and losing is important. Reduce stress and anxiety– Not all children can cope with stress. Sports is known to be one of the best de-stressors for a child. When we are physically active our body releases serotonin which directly contributes to our feelings of well-being. Develop muscle memory from a young age – Sporting activities require fast reflexes and skilled movements that have been practiced over and over in many different ways. If this muscle memory is there from a young age, the child feels stronger, more confident and relaxed. This improves their self-esteem and sporting ability. “Sports is the best medicine for any child’s body, mind and development” Elzanne Van Der Walt.

July 4, 2018

Sherpa Kids International now in Western Cape

Sherpa Kids – an internationally respected and trusted aftercare organisation that focuses on putting the ‘care’ back into aftercare – has successfully launched in the Western Cape. Janine Hammond, Regional Managing Director of Sherpa Kids in the Western Cape, says, “As a working mom, I know what a huge deciding factor it is when looking for schools to find a preschool or primary school that offers a good aftercare system. We saw the great work that Sherpa Kids is doing in schools in Gauteng, and around the world in places like New Zealand, the UK, and Australia, and we knew absolutely that preschools and primary schools in the Western Cape will benefit from this programme.” Sherpa Kids officially launched their before-school care, aftercare, and holiday care in South Africa in 2013. The name “Sherpa” is an homage to the mountain tribes who carefully guide climbers through difficult conditions by using their skills and knowledge in order for them to successfully reach their summit. Outsourcing aftercare is the way forward “Aftercare is often just an afterthought for SGB’s and principals who are dealing with other bigger issues. It is also often a burden to an already-exhausted, over-tasked teaching base,” says Janine. “However, just like most business owners in Cape Town know, outsourcing is fast becoming the best way to make everyone happy; protect the health and wellbeing of your staff compliment, and still keep a great brand reputation for your school by outsourcing your before-school, aftercare, and holiday care needs to the experts. This gives the teachers some breathing space, gives the parents peace of mind, and makes the children happy.” “Leaning on someone else’s expertise for aftercare allows Principals and teachers to focus on their core business,” says Janine, “while still giving children the stimulation and supervision they need. The Sherpa Kids facilitators are the ‘fresh legs’ so desperately needed after teachers have already worked a full day.” The answer to unregulated aftercare Preschool and school are tightly regulated by government, however aftercare is completely unregulated. That means, anything can happen in aftercare, and anyone can run an aftercare. “We approach aftercare differently,” says Janine. “Our people are thoroughly trained, regularly assessed, and kept accountable to international aftercare standards. This is why schools love us. Above all, they love children and want to see them thrive.” Western Cape Private and Public Schools approve In the short time since Sherpa Kids arrived in the Western Cape, both public and private schools have recruited Sherpa Kids to run their aftercare. El Shaddai Christian School and Somerset College were the first to sign up, with Hout Bay International, Elkanah House in Table View, Forres Preparatory, and Shelanti Private School quickly following. Says Kobus Stofberg, Director of Extra-Curricular Programme for Hout Bay International School, “The (holiday) programme was a great success and reports from students and parents was very positive. They offer a good, interactive programme with enough variation to keep everyone entertained and stimulated.” Not only are Principals thoroughly pleased, but parents are seeing the difference in their children too. Says Dave from the Southern Suburbs about a recent Sherpa Kids Holiday Club, “Sherpa was fantastic for our sons; and super helpful at that time of year for us.” Says Janine with a smile, “We know we’re doing something right when parents tell us their kids don’t want to leave aftercare when it’s hometime.” Going forward, Sherpa Kids Western Cape hopes to give schools a stimulating, reliable alternative to their current aftercare situation. To Contact Janine Hammond Email: [email protected] Phone:+27 72 190 2995 Web: www.sherpakids.co.za

July 4, 2018

CAM Champion Highchair

Let your little one join in at meal times with the Campion High Chair from CAM. The CAM company from Italy is one of the finest producers of baby furniture in the world, and being forerunners in the industry they have not only the best quality products, but also mastered the art of the aesthetic. Famous for unconventional and always gorgeous enough to not have to store away after meals, the Campion High Chair is one of the products that is now being distributed in South Africa through various retailers. With 6 adjustable heights, a reclining backrest in 4 positions, 3 trays and storage compartments, the Campion is comfort, convenience and functionality all rolled into one easily folded unit. The character-based designs include owl or bear and are designed in easy-on-the-eye colour palettes, making it neutral enough to match most homes. The Campion High Chair is now available at Hamleys stores, selected Kids Emporium stores, Me Mom & Dad in Greenstone, www.takealot.com, www.loot.co.za, www.thebabyzone.co.za and www.purplepepperz.com

July 3, 2018

Another antibiotic winter looms unless decisive action is taken

The traditional approach to education must be revolutionised in order to ensure the best outcomes for the current generation of school children, who are increasingly being called Generation Alpha, and whose world differs materially from the world in which their Millennial parents grew up, an education expert says. “Generation Alpha represents those children who were born after 2010, who are now at the beginning stages of their school careers,” says Jenny Coetzee, career educator and founding member of the ADvTECH Group’s prestigious Crawford School La Lucia. Coetzee, currently MD of the soon to be opened Crawford International School in Kenya, has in the course of her decades-long career forged an exceptional reputation as a visionary pioneer and leader in the education space. She says each generation – whether they be Generation X, Y or Z – grew up in a world different to that of their parents and the generations before them. Just as each of these generations were exposed to unique circumstances, challenges and opportunities, so are the newest generation, whose labelling as Generation Alpha is fast gaining traction. “These children are the most connected, educated and sophisticated generation ever, so when educating, a school should provide an environment that enhances learning for these digital integrators,” she says. “These children live in an open-book environment – just a few clicks away from any information, they connect in a borderless world – across countries and cultures, and they communicate in a post-literate community where texts and tweets are brief, and where visuals and videos have the greatest impact.” She says schools should be putting special emphasis on developing critical thinking and problem-solving skills, so that students are equipped to see problems from different angles and formulate their own solutions. “Regardless of the field they choose to enter for their careers, the ability to think, be creative and act quickly is an indispensable tool for the future, particularly in view of increasing automation and the expectation of the workplace of the future, as identified by the World Economic Forum. “It goes without saying that technology must be embraced in today’s schools, but what is of crucial importance, is that it is effectively used to enhance pedagogy and improve learning. In order to achieve this, schools must be equipped with high speed internet and embrace the value of social platforms.” Students must also be exposed to new technologies, such as 3D printing, drones and robotics, and schools should articulate the possibilities these new technologies create. They must also expose students to new fields such as user experience design, and the latest schools of thinking such as design thinking modelsas a scaffold for project work. “Just like Generation Z before them, schools looking after Generation Alpha must cultivate the spirit of entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurial thinking and leadership are imperative and entrepreneurship courses must form part of the curriculum where collaboration between subject disciplines is encouraged.” Coetzee says it is imperative that schools nurture a global outlook, and that students are able to benefit from strong networks formed with international education bodies. And teachers must be trained in the latest strategies and teaching techniques. “Children come to us naturally curious about their world and wanting to explore it. Their imaginations are vast and untamed, creating endless amounts of practical and impractical things. As teachers we need to continue to nurture them to develop their curiosity and imagination, as well as teach them how to apply them creatively and purposefully using technology as a tool. “We may not know exactly what lies ahead for our students in the future, but we know what skills and tools they will need once they get there: to think critically, to work as a team, but most of all to be curious and excited about learning in this world that is so different from the world in which we were raised.”

July 3, 2018

How to prepare a child for an older sibling

Expecting the arrival of your second child is an exciting event, but this may not be so for your older child, especially those between two and six years old. Start by telling your older child about the arrival of his or her new sibling. Use age-appropriate language and pictures to explain how the baby is growing so the connection can be made from about the 5th month of your pregnancy. Encourage your child to talk to and sing to your bump. Explain that the baby will not be a playmate right away and will sleep and feed most of the time but can also cry a lot because that is a baby’s only means of communication. It is important that children and parents learn together about what it means have a new sibling in the family. Let your child take part in the preparations, but constantly talk about all the excitement and preparation you made for his/her arrival. Get out the family photos and talk about how you had to feed, change, rock and cuddle him/her. Be honest about how tired you sometimes felt and that you may get tired again and not be able to play so many games together, but just for a while. When the new baby arrives allow your child to visit you and the baby in hospital. Do not hold the baby during this time until you have given undivided attention to the older child. Introduce them and allow the child to gently stroke and maybe even hold the baby with you. Now is the time to talk about how careful you must be with a small baby. Very young children could be upset, simply because their routine has been disrupted and Mom is in bed in a strange place. For them, do not put too much emphasis on the baby but spend the visit cuddling and talking. Regardless of your older child’s age, make sure that he or she gets individual attention when the new baby arrives home. (Do not arrive with the baby in your arms!) Remember to include him or her in photographs or videos you take of the baby. Sometimes children will act out with arrival of a sibling. Praise positive behaviour and give love, understanding and assurance rather than corrective discipline. They may have toilet training accidents, want to drink from a bottle or ask for a dummy. These are normal reactions that require tolerance during regressive episodes. If you make no fuss and little comment, the phase will soon pass. No one goes to big school with a dummy! Encourage your older child to be gentle with the baby and include them in activities that involve the baby such as bathing, changing and dressing. Encourage singing and talking to the baby. Babies are usually fascinated by older children. Praise him or her when they are helpful and always try and plan one on one time with them, so they feel equally important and cared for Help your child develop a sense of why they are a valuable member of the family by focusing on what they can do, and the baby can’t. Tell them that each member of the family is important for what they bring to the unit and the family needs each person for it to be whole. Raising your child to accept and adapt to new conditions within the households will assist them in future changes that may be challenging. Raising resilient and collaborative children is a priority in our world. Written by: Academic Development Coordinator of ADvTECH Schools Division, Barbra Eaton And Bev O’Shea, Principal at Junior College Preschools Tiny Town.

July 2, 2018

5 steps to getting a good night’s sleep

Tips to ensure that baby andyou get a good night’s sleep Many parents must find themselves wondering where the idiom ‘sleeping like a baby’ comes from, considering the hours of crying, feeding and frustration that usually make up the night time norm. The good news for sleep-deprived moms out there is that there is a slumber-filled solution – it just takes some patience to pull off! Sleep and your baby “Just as babies must learn how to sit, talk and understand the world around them, they also need to learn how to fall asleep on their own,” says Liz Senior, Occupational Therapist and Founder of Clamber Club. “And as with most of baby’s developmental milestones, there’s no better teacher than mom and dad,” she adds. To start with, it is important for parents to understand how babies sleep. “Babies spend more time in the REM sleep (active sleep) phases than adults because they have so much information to process,” explains Petro Thamm, Clamber Club Expert and Founder of Good Night, a certified Sleep Sense Consultancy. “This means that a parent may think that the infant is sleeping, when in fact, as soon as baby is put down he wakes up because he has not yet settled into a deep sleep.” During the night, babies have sleep cycles that are considerably shorter than adults – 45 minutes long compared to 1.5 hours for adults. Quiet sleep comes at the end of the sleep cycle so when it’s over, your baby either begins the cycle again (re-entering active sleep) or he wakes up. By the age of four months, your baby will be sleeping for six to eight hours a night and by six months, he should typically be sleeping for between 10-12 hours. Thamm offers parents five tips for raising an independent sleeper: Eliminate ‘sleep props’ Children need to develop self-soothing strategies so they’re able to fall asleep independently and put themselves back to sleep when they wake in the night. If they depend on a ‘sleep prop’ (nursing or a bottle, pacifier, rocking, bouncing, patting or riding in the car), they will need someone to help them every time they wake up! Implement an early bedtime An early bedtime is best to ensure that baby doesn’t become overtired, which makes it more difficult for her to settle down and fall asleep. Based on your baby’s age and the timing of their last nap, you should pick a bedtime somewhere between 6–8pm. Create a predictable routine A bedtime routine is most effective when it is about 20-30 minutes long, and the majority of it takes place in your child’s bedroom. Some activities that work well include a bath, massage, going potty, brushing teeth, reading, sharing thoughts or a favourite song, and cuddling. Keep baby awake while feeding Feeding (whether breast or bottle) is the number one sleep prop children begin to rely on. Keeping baby awake during feedings will help break the association that sleeping and eating go hand in hand. She will then be awake when she’s put back in bed, letting her practise her self-soothing skills. Consistency Consistency is probably the most important part of teaching your child the skill of becoming an independent sleeper. Once you choose your method, you need to be consistent 100% of the time! If you give up or change rules every night, you will frustrate and confuse your little one. Keeping all sleep situations the same also sends a clear message about what’s expected of them. It’s not always easy, but do your best to stay committed to the process, and try not to fall back into bad habits when you’re exhausted. Having a child fall asleep on her own really is the best lullaby a parent could ask for!

June 29, 2018

How can parents be more involved in their children’s education?

Being a parent is the toughest job on the planet! Besides ensuring that your children are cared for, loved and that their emotional and physical needs are met, the very act of being a parent makes YOU, your children’s first and longest-standing teacher! Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says “It is impossible to compartmentalise learning. Children are born with an innate need to learn. Parents are their first point-of-call as their first and most influential teachers! Learning that takes place at a school is called ‘education’, yet, education starts on the day that we are born! Parents cannot separate the learning taking place at school to the even greater learning taking place every day in our homes, on the sports-field or within our family, cultural and religious structures.” It seems necessary, then, that parents involve themselves in the extension- of- education that we call school. But, how? Cindy shares these helpful tips that you may want to consider: 1. Be an example of positive, productive learning and positive behavioural choices. Your children are one- hundred- percent more likely to do what you do rather than what you say. Avoid degrading teachers when facing challenges. Seek to find positive solutions which ensure that your children feel valued, yet respectful towards those who teach them at school. 2. Show sincere interest in what happens at school-on a daily basis. Ask questions and be willing to listen-to-understand when answers are shared. Find out how the day went. What was best/worst about the day? Who did your child hang out with? 3. Be excited about ANY positive news or progress-whether academic or social. All children seek acknowledgement and purpose. Acknowledged progress will result in greater progress! 4. Teach the art of determination, courage, a positive work ethic, resilience, self-responsibility and motivation by being these yourself! Challenges, frustrations, anxieties and fears are inevitable. It is how we choose to react to these that will ensure success! 5. Allow for error. Mistakes and some failures are inevitable. Teach your children to own these and to see them as opportunities to learn. A child who is willing to acknowledge his mistakes, own them and seek positive ways to learn from them will live a life without limitations! 6. Seek to build and maintain a positive working relationship with your children’s teachers. Attend meetings and activities whenever possible and be open to suggestions of support and additional aid where needed. 7. Wherever possible, find the time to look at the work that your child brings home. Do this with the aim of finding the best ways to support, encourage and motivate your children to become the best version of themselves. Cindy sums up by reiterating “Celebrate ALL learning, from academic to cultural to the arts. Your child’s positive sense of self is your most important priority. A child with a healthy sense of self is not afraid to try new things and make mistakes. They believe in themselves enough to stand firm in positive life values, despite obstacles along the way!”

June 28, 2018

Pregnancy: Taking care of your nutritional and financial needs

By 1Life You’ve finally taken steps to confirm the reason behind your weird cravings, unexpected emotional outbursts, the fatigue as well as all the other unusual things that have been happening to your body of late and so begins the journey towards motherhood. One moment you only had yourself to worry about, and now you’re making way for the new bundle of joy that’s growing inside of you. When you are expecting, taking care of your nutritional needs goes well beyond ‘eating for two’. Instead, there are certain nutrients that your body needs during this journey, to ensure your baby is healthy and that you keep yourself in excellent condition as well. Maryke Gallagher, a registered dietician in Cape Town and President of the Association of Diabetics in South Africa, states that from a nutritional point of view, the first 1000 days are the most important. This includes the time the baby spends in the womb, where the first 1000 days are said to set the stage for healthy brain development, growth and appropriate weight gain and building a strong immune system. Having a healthy nutritional plan is therefore vital and can also assist with protecting against chronic diseases like diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure later in life. As a result, what you put in your body during this period is extremely important. Some crucial nutritional needs include: Energy needs: These increase in the second and third trimester, but this does not mean you should eat for two. It means increasing the energy intake by 800-200kj per day, the equivalent of a small meal snack, like yoghurt, fruit and nuts, or a slice of rye bread with nut butter and a fruit. Protein needs increase: Focus on eating more safe proteins, at least twice per week. Options that are generally considered safe include trout, salmon, herring, pilchards and mackerel. Plant proteins are mostly incomplete proteins. This means that legumes like lentils, chickpeas and butterbeans need to be combined with grains such as brown rice, quinoa or barley to form complete proteins. Soya beans and tofu are some of the only complete plant proteins. It is generally believed that it is safe to be vegetarian while you are pregnant if you plan carefully to eat sufficient proteins that meet the body’s demands. Omega 3 Fatty Acids: These essential fats are important in pregnancy for healthy brain development in the baby. Fish is one such example of a good source of Omega 3 fatty acids, which you should consider before taking supplements to ensure that you are meeting your daily requirements. These type of vitamins reduce the risk of preterm birth and play a role in the visual acuity of the baby. Later in life, they play a role in the IQ and behaviour of the child. They also play a role in regulating the mood of the mother. Total fat intake: Every cell in the body is made up of fats, and cell membranes consist of phospholipids that influence how well cells communicate with each other within the body. Plant fats are particularly valuable and include nuts, seeds, avocado, olives, olive oil, and flaxseed oil. Micronutrients: These are essential vitamins, minerals and phytochemicals. During pregnancy, the important ones are Folic Acid, Iron, Calcium, Vitamin D, B12 and Choline. Choline plays a role in the first trimester development of the baby, in particular the brain development and formation of neural pathways. Choline is found in animal-protein-rich foods such as eggs and beef. Haricot beans, soya protein, pulses and dairy products (like milk and yoghurt) are good sources of Choline. Folic acid is found in fruits and vegetables such as leafy dark green vegetables, liver, legumes and fortified cereals. The above is all important to keep in mind. However, your nutritional needs are in fact only one of very many aspects that you will need to consider as an expecting mom. As you enter this new life stage, your financial needs are also set to change and you will then need to start asking yourself questions about your financial plan. Things like, can you provide for the wellbeing and financial security of your child, the schools you want them to attend and if you are saving enough towards their future education. Safeguarding your assets is also an important consideration, which ensures that these will go to your child in your absence. These are the first of many aspects related to your financial planning that you will need to consider as you enter this new chapter. When starting your pre–birth financial planning, do a financial needs analysis to determine what your future financial plan should look like. Then ask yourself if your current long-term insurance provider can adjust your cover to cater for your growing family and financial needs. If they are unable to, look for a provider who can – and one who will become your partner in providing financial assurance as your family grows.

June 27, 2018

I-Innovate opens minds to Artificial Intelligence at Cape Town School

STE(A)M educational specialist, I-Innovateis bringing another 21stCentury learning programme to South Africa to open up opportunities in our under-served school communities for learners to develop the talents and skills that are sorely needed in the Digital Age. This month, Grade 3 to 7 learners from Heideveld Primary School and their families can step into the astounding world of Artificial Intelligence (AI) when they join a free 3-day initiative, the AI Family Challenge. I-Innovate has partnered with USA developers, Curiosity Machine and local organisation, Sakhikamva Foundation, to bring the AI Family Challengeconcept to South Africa with aim of ultimately reaching 20,000 learners in disadvantaged areas around the world. Learners, teachers and family members get together to explore fascinating facets of AI technologies such as machine learning, speech recognition, prediction models, autonomous vehicles, virtual reality and neural networks. The AI Family Challengecurriculum is experiential and hands-on so that vital Digital Age skills such as computational thinking, electrical engineering, mobile computing and robotics can be developed in a fun, interactive learning environment. As learners understand and apply AI concepts, they are inspired to use them to find solutions to pressing community problems when it comes to food, agriculture, health, transportation and energy. The ‘learn by doing’ approach to mastering the series of design challenges presented by I-Innovate and Curiosity Machine are aimed at igniting creativity, problem-solving, collaboration and innovation. The learning experience fosters a strong and valuable sense of empowerment, confidence and inclusion in the learners. “With these hands-on design challenges, we make complex AI concepts accessible to children and their families,” says I-Innovate CEO, Trisha Crookes. “Learners create their first robots while learning the building blocks of computer science and Artificial Intelligence. Parents and teachers have been inspired by this new way of learning and can see a new level excitement for learning in their children. More importantly, over the course of the challenge, participants develop a learner mindset that gives them a lifelong ability to innovate and problem-solve.” Having previously connected Cape Town schools to the International Space Station through the ExoLab programme, I-Innovate continues to work with partners to bring global thinking and Digital Age experiential learning to South African learners. “The AI Family Challengeis another inspiring and highly relevant way of showing children in underserved communities that they can make giant leaps,” concludes Crookes. This initial 3-day phase of the AI Family Challenge in Cape Town, will be followed by additional events over the next six months. For further information about I-Innovate and their programmes, visit www.i-can-innovate.com

June 26, 2018

Why a good holiday camp is worth the cost

You want your children to be productive during their school holidays, so you browse around for a good holiday program. However, the cost of a good sleepover holiday camp seems exorbitant. You wonder how the majority of American parents can afford to send their kids to summer camp for the entire school holiday, every year. You did find much cheaper camps – but are they any good? Why are some camps R200 per night, and others up to R900 per night? The price of a camp is often an indication of it’s quality. Although cheaper camps may keep your child busy during the school holidays, there are more pressing concerns you should settle before entrusting your child into the care of others. There are reasons why some camp prices are a little upscale. Here are four reasons that a pricey camp may be worth investing in: Safety You cannot expect a cheap camp to have high-end security measures, because high-end security doesn’t come cheap. Whether it is equipment or general safety measures, if a camp is too cost-conscious you may not be sending your child to the safest camp. For example, Sugar Bay holiday camp is protected by full perimeter electric fences, twenty-five closed-circuit televisions (CCTV), 24-hour armed response, patrolling night watchmen, access control at their point of entry and exit and panic buttons in every cabin. The camp has its own 24-hour Health Care Center for minor health issues, and always has a doctor on call. All equipment and gear is of the best quality to ensure the safest possible camp experience. Staff Cheaper camps may not spend money on providing professional staff training, and costs may also be cut by employing as few staff as possible. On the other hand, each staff member at Sugar Bay Camp is trained in Emergency First Response and CPR. They are also required to provide a police clearance certificate before employment. During their two week training program, all staff receive instruction in child psychology, theory and practice of teaching, leadership and activity instruction. Thereafter, only the best performing staff are selected for employment. Sugar Bay camp also has a strict 1:3 staff to child ratio, which is the highest in South Africa, to ensure that each child receives full-time supervision and individual attention. Activities and Facilities Camps that are easy on the pocket usually have limited and often compulsory activities, as well as inflexible schedules. Most children don’t like the idea of having to participate in activities that they don’t enjoy. Whereas, higher-priced camps are able to offer a wider range of activities and more flexible programs. For instance, Sugar Bay holiday camp offers over 100 activities, none of which are compulsory. Children may decide what they would like to participate in – and when. There are always multiple activities running at any given time, and kids may participate in whichever activity they prefer. This freedom of choice allows kids to make their own independent decisions and encourages them to try new things – like learning how to surf or skateboard. Meals Children require healthy meals and energizing snacks to fully enjoy their camp experience. The most affordable camps often compromise on the quality of food by offering the cheapest meals they can afford at bulk – food that most kids do not enjoy. These camps may also not be in a position to cater for special dietary needs like gluten intolerant, halaal, vegetarian or lactose intolerant children etc. Sugar Bay, on the other hand, offers fresh and tasty meals every day, with different meals served each day. Fresh fruits and veggies are available at every meal time. A balanced meal plan is offered with the right proportions of protein, carbohydrates, dairy and vegetables. All of the baked goods – like bread rolls and croissants – are made fresh on the premises. Individual dietary needs are also catered for. Some examples of breakfasts include: cheese croissants, bacon and eggs, quiche, french toast etc. There is always yoghurt, fresh fruit and cereals available in addition to these main meals. Lunches may be: fish and chips, chicken schnitzel, beef strips with rice etc. There is always a salad bar and fresh fruit available at lunch time. Dinner may be: lasange, cottage pie, curry, grilled chicken and rice, beef stew etc. There is always a salad bar and fresh vegetables available at dinner time. Dessert always follows, some examples of which include: peppermint crisp tart, ice-cream and chocolate sauce, chocolate brownies, malva pudding etc. Despite the exceptional safety protocols, professional staff, variety of activities and healthy and delicious meals, Sugar Bay also imparts life skills that you cannot put a price tag on. Every cent that you spend on a holiday camp at Sugar Bay is a worthwhile investment that accompanies your peace of mind as a parent. If you are interested in booking a camp for your child, or have further questions, contact Sugar Bay via their website, email [email protected] call (032) 485 3778.

June 26, 2018

Oops – Baby’s first Travel Collections

Oops ‘My Sports Bag’ is one of the most popular bags for young toddlers who are just starting to develop some independence and may need a bag to include a swimming costume, towel and maybe a snack. A practical, zipper opening, water-resistant bag that is spacious enough to carry your little one’s sporting gear or travel things, the bags are bright, colourful and feature characters from the famous ‘My City’ or ‘My Forest’ ranges. Perfect for a playdate with friends too. Matching the sports bag is the gorgeous ‘Happy Snack’ lunch box. A 3D soft cover lunchbox with a thermal lining, the easily-cleaned insides are great for storing food for pre-school, travel trips or just when out and about with mom. It keeps food fresh and delicious for hours and again, has the cutest characters emblazoned on the outside. Grab one now at any of the following retailers: Hamleys Toy Stores, selected Kids Emporium stores, Me Mom and Dad, www.thekidzone.co.za, www.purplepepperz.com, www.loot.com& www.takealot.com

June 26, 2018

Arts Powered Learning: choosing a pre-school that fosters creative thinking and a life-long love of learning

Who Are We? Capriccio! Arts Powered Pre-School is a registered Montessori inspired ECD independent school in Milnerton. The Italian wordcapriccio has two interpretations: A lively piece of music; short and free in form. A painting or work of art representing a fantasy or a mixture of real and imaginary features. Both of the above interpretations are representative of our approach to education in the early years, which is designed to harness the full benefits of early exposure to the arts. At Capriccio! our focus is on nurturing each child’s cognitive, emotional, physical, social, and artistic development in a loving, creative and holistic learning environment. We are passionate about the role of art in education and recognise the power it has in instilling within little ones a life-long love of learning. What Are the Benefits of Arts Powered Learning? Studies have shown that exposure to arts education from a young age accelerates positive brain development. Art in all its various forms – music, drama, dance and visual art, has an infinite capacity to affect both the brain and the body, acting as a unifying force that supports and enhances cognitive, physical, emotional, and social skills in young children. Ainissa Ramirez once said, “Creativity is the secret sauce to science, technology, engineering and math.” Exposing young learners to arts powered education creates an open learning environment that fosters curiosity and encourages creative thinking and problem solving. These are transferable skills that are essential to building a strong foundation in other learning areas. We believe that children possess an innate property for appreciation and enjoyment of the arts. By engaging this appreciation from a young age, little ones are provided with a means by which to express themselves, which allows them to progress, self-actualise and foster healthy self-esteem throughout their lives. Our Approach to Arts Powered, Montessori Inspired Learning At Capriccio! the expressive needs and individual developmental abilities of each of our little ones are taken into account. By incorporating arts-driven learning and Montessori principals into our curriculum we create a learning environment which provides each child the opportunity to flourish at their own pace. Montessori is a child centred philosophy of education, which recognises that each child has the innate eagerness to acquire knowledge and a deep love of learning. In keeping with this philosophy, we are focused on following the individual child and acknowledging his or her ability to direct their own learning journey in a carefully prepared learning environment. We have incorporated the traditional Montessori areas of learning such as, practical life, education of the senses, literacy, numeracy and arithmetic, knowledge and understanding of the world, creativity, and outdoor learning, into our methodology and materials. As Sydney Gurewitz Clemens said, “Art has the role in education of helping children become like themselves instead of more like everyone else.” It is our belief that art has intrinsic value in giving each child the freedom of self-discovery throughout their learning journey. For more information on our philosophy and approach please visit our website:www.artspreschool.co.za

June 26, 2018

Oops Traditional Wooden Toy selection

Wooden toys always hold a sense of nostalgia about them. Well crafted, old-fashioned toys that the generations before us enjoyed in many countries are now quite rare. Oops has held onto the traditional European love of the wooden toy and ensured that children of today still get to enjoy building, playing and learning with the medium of wood. The Multi-Activity Wooden House is the perfect example of traditional play combined with vibrant stimulation. With the modern Oops characters as residents, the houses include a shape sorter, spinning cogs, a 3D clock and many other elements that generate the interactivity that starts a young mind working. The ultimate toy that makes learning joyful and fun. The smaller 3D Wooden puzzles from Oops for younger babies are a great starting point for intrigue and fascination. With just 9 pieces to work with, very young babies can get building bright, character driven puzzles that will improve their coordination and keep them entertained for hours. The Wooden toy selection from Oops is available at the following retailers: Hamleys Toy Stores, selected Kids Emporium stores, Me Mom and Dad, www.thebabyzone.co.za, www.thekidzone.co.za, www.purplepepperz.com& www.loot.co.za

June 22, 2018

Review: Oops Puzzle Range

There is a something nostalgic about wooden puzzles. They certainly provide the durability that is required when toddlers get a hold of them. These old fashioned, bright coloured developmental toys provide more benefits for your little one than you think. Any child of EVERY age, should be playing with puzzles on a regular basis. When you child plays with puzzles the following is being developed Hand eye co-ordination Fine motor skills Gross motor skills Problem solving Shape recognition Memory stimulation We at Parenting Hub certainly feel that you would not regret this investment and the Oops range can be purchased from the following outlets. Hamleys Toy Stores Selected Kids Emporium stores Me Mom and Dad www.thebabyzone.co.za www.thekidzone.co.za www.purplepepperz.com www.loot.co.za

June 21, 2018

The quick and easy financial checklist for new parents

Taking your first steps to put the financial basics in place for your family can be really simple. Here is what a new parent needs to do and why, and how it can be done immediately! When you’re a young parent with a full plate of responsibilities and a host of new baby expenses, getting your financial affairs in order are typically not as big a priority as it should be. But is it worth it to put your family at risk if something does go wrong? A new parent should get at least the following in place: Update your Will to ensure you select the right legal guardians for your kids should anything happen to you and your partner – don’t leave it up to the courts to decide; Get life insurance to protect your child’s future by insuring their education; Start saving for your kid’s university/college education as soon as possible. Your kids will be financially dependent on you for at least the first 20 years of their lives. Most of us will pay for their monthly schooling from our salaries and hopefully there is enough left in the budget to start saving for that university/college fund. It is estimated that parents who send their children to public schools and pay for a three-year university degree, will spend on average about R1.2 million per child in today’s financial terms – and the figure doubles if your child goes to a private school. That is a lot of money that will come from your future salary! And it is why becoming a parent is such an enormous financial decision. Should anything happen to you in the next week, where will your family’s money come from? Very few young parents have enough savings in the bank to ensure that their children have the financial means to finish school and continue their education as needed. How do you protect your children’s future? That’s why it is so critical to have enough life insurance in place right away. It will ensure that your kids can enjoy all the opportunities you want for them, no matter what happens. Many parents already know that things like getting life insurance and a Will is important, but delay or forget about it. Or they just do not know where to start as it is such an intimidating thing to do. Research shows that young parents in South Africa need cover the most and 75%* do not have any at all. Becoming a new parent is an exciting milestone. But by checking these financial items off of your to-do list, you can sleep soundly knowing your family will be well taken care of, no matter what happens. Are you ready to take that important financial first steps? Speak to one of the Hero Life experts and see how easy they have made it. They are passionate about assisting young parents with the basics and and their experts help parents digitally at no additional cost …. so that you can get things done anytime from anywhere. Visit www.herolife.co.za for more info or email [email protected] or [email protected] directly. Or click here to chat on Whatsapp. It’s really that easy.

June 21, 2018

10 things you need to ask about your child’s after-school care

Because aftercare shouldn’t be an afterthought. While pre-primary and primary schools are regulated in South Africa, after-school care is not. This has led to everyone and anyone running after-school care programmes, which can often result in an unstructured, unsafe and an unhappy environment for your child. In response to this, Janine Hammond, mother and entrepreneur, has brought the much-loved Sherpa Kids South Africa to the Western Cape. Sherpa Kids is an international program that is trusted by thousands of parents all over the world to take care of their childrens’ before-school, aftercare, and holiday care needs. Says Janine, “Our focus in the Western Cape is to put the ‘care’ back into ‘aftercare’. Our program removes the aftercare burden from schools, gives parents peace of mind, and lets children have so much fun at aftercare that they don’t want to leave.” But not all aftercare programs are like this. Here she shares her insight into what parents need to ask about their children’s after-school care programme. 1. What happens at the after-care? Ideal after-school care should be centred around the holistic development of a child, with a combination of free and structured play. Well-run after-school care programmes will include supervise homework (if required); engaging activities such as arts and crafts, sports and games, music, drama, experiments and technology experiments; and well-supervised free play. 2. Are children actively engaged and stimulated? If so, how? Theme-based activities, specifically designed to be age and stage appropriate, are critical to a comprehensive educational programme. Ensure there’s time for active play and extra-mural activities, but you also want the children to be in an environment where they can use their own imagination and curiosity to play freely under supervision. If the school programme is endorsed by a local or international education authority, such as the The Australian Children’s Education and Care Quality Authority (ACECQA), even better. 3. Is there a structure to the afternoon? Exactly what is it? The afternoon needs to start with a formal roll call system. If a child is not there, it is important to know why. This will be followed by lunch, when appropriate, and then homework supervision. The duration of homework supervision needs to be flexible, depending on the age and stage of the child. There also needs to be time for structured activities and free play. It’s very important that after-care is not experienced as an afternoon of extra lessons. It is not a double-up of the school day, it is about learning through play. This generation of children have incredibly structured days, which can lead to stress. Children need time to relax and play in their own time. 4. How many staff members are there and what type of experience/backgrounds do they have? International best practice for aftercare requires a staff-to-child ratio of between 1 to 10 and 1 to 15. Qualified graduates and retired childcare professionals make the ideal after school care providers. You want people who are passionate about childcare and filled with energy and enthusiasm to engage with the children in a positive way. It is important that the aftercare staff’s working day starts in the afternoon, so they are not tired after a work-day or just see the after-school programme as a ‘bolt on’ to their other work, rather than their core responsibility. Parents are paying for this service. 5. Are the staff trained in first aid? This is a critical area that parents should investigate and many current providers at schools fall short here. International best practice requires at least one staff member trained in first aid be on site at all times. It is also imperative that the staff are trained in paediatric first aid, rather than a general first aid course. The most frequent causes of death in children under the age of 12 are anaphylactic shock (allergic reactions) and choking… paediatric first aid ensures that staff members will know how to deal with these. Also, first aid qualifications expire after two years, so you need to ask whether their paediatric first aid training is up to date. 6. What type of training do staff have in behaviour management and incident reporting? Why it’s important is because staff members need to be able to know how to manage children in a variety of different circumstances. Scenario-based training is ideal for this. The staff also needs to know how to appropriately communicate with the parents. Transparency is vital and parents need to be informed. 7. Do you implement sun smart principles (no hat, no play) during playtime? If sun smart isn’t being implemented as a school rule, it is almost impossible for it to be implemented effectively at after-school care. Most schools do institute a sun smart programme in and school hours and aftercare, but it’s still a good idea to make certain. 8. Do you offer a full holiday care service (are all days in holidays covered for the full day)? You may be very happy with your after-school care provider, only to find out that there isn’t a holiday programme in place. You ideally want a comprehensive care provider, so that you are getting the full-service solution and are not being left stranded over the holiday periods. 9. What are the collection and sign out procedures? Many after-school care service providers allow children to sign out for themselves or go and wait by the gate after receiving a WhatsApp message. This is not an acceptable sign-out procedure. This makes children very vulnerable. Active sign out procedures are vital to ensure that your children are safe; only those authorised are allowed to collect the children. 10. How do you manage dispensing of medication? We dispense medication in line with legal regulations; we can only give the child medication when a parent has handed in a consent form, along with the medication. These forms should be issued at the beginning of the year, for parents to use when the need arises. To contact Janine Hammond from Sherpa Kids Western Cape: Email:

June 21, 2018

Why is my child not walking?

Many parents spend the first year of their child’s life focusing on motor milestones, and are hugely relieved when their baby starts to sit, crawl and walk. The variety of baby and toddler classes and other activities on offer lead to a lot of opportunities for comparison of their child in relation to others. This often leads to parents asking themselves “why is my child not walking yet?” “There are a few reasons why a child may not be walking at around a year,” says Paediatric Physiotherapist and Clamber Club Expert Nicole Hilburn. “The first thing to consider is when the baby started to sit, and crawl, as late sitters and crawlers will most likely walk late as well. From the start of sitting, a baby usually takes 3 – 4 months to start crawling, and another 3 months or so from crawling to walking,” adds Nicole. Babies with significant birth histories such as low birth weight, prematurity, hospital admissions or prolonged bouts of illness are more likely to be delayed due to decreased muscle strength, or imbalances between muscle groups. What factors prevent your child from walking? “An increasing number of babies are presenting with a condition called torticollis – which is where one of the muscles in the neck is tight due to position in utero, or often due to positioning postnatally in premature infants who have been in the intensive care unit for a while,” explains Nicole. Untreated, this condition leads to decreased use and stiffness of the arm and leg on the same side as the tight muscle in the neck, and may interfere with development. This condition may be present when a baby holds his head slightly to one side, and prefers looking to one side; or cannot look all the way to one side. Babies who use alternative methods of crawling such as bottom shuffling will not develop the core stability and pelvic girdle stability to support them in standing and walking, which will delay the onset of walking. These babies will also struggle to pull up to stand from the floor, due to being on their bottoms and struggling with kneeling. There are a few reasons for bum shuffling – the main reason we usually find that baby’s bum shuffle is due to resistance to tummy time – this leads to weak back muscles, weak arms, and the baby never really experimenting with pushing up off the ground. Excessive use of equipment such as seating devices, and walking rings may lead to walking delays. This is because the child is fully supported in these devices and is not using muscles or engaging postural control while in them. A baby’s temperament also contributes to how quickly he or she will start moving. A very easy-going baby may take longer than a very busy baby. A baby with sensory issues, or who is happy being stable will also take longer to walk, as gaining balance on two legs is much more difficult than being stable on all fours, and these babies may find this frightening. How can you ensure that your baby is on track to walk? Lots of floor play between the ages of 1 and 6 months – on the back and the tummy, which will strengthen the trunk muscles. If a baby looks like he/she is not going to crawl or is using an alternative method to move such as rolling or bottom shuffling, this should be corrected by a physiotherapist, in order to build up appropriate muscle strength in the trunk, shoulder girdle and pelvic girdle. Torticollis should be treated by a physiotherapist. Once a baby is pulling up to stand and cruising, the following tips can be used to promote walking: Use a wooden wagon to push around Play in the standing position at flat surfaces such as a fridge (e.g. playing with magnets) Encourage play while standing, and give your baby something in each hand, which will encourage standing without holding on Walking with your baby while holding his hands You can also use a hula-hoop if he tends to pull down on your hands a lot – you hold one side and walk backwards and your baby holds the other side – this will give less support, and encourage him to engage his muscles more.

June 20, 2018

4 Important personal hygiene habits to teach your children

Personal hygiene is something that can be taught to children when they are very young. While some may argue it is not worth it to teach a child who may not clearly understand you to wash their hands, once they hear it over and over again, it will begin to sink in. Eventually it will become second nature to them. The 4 most important personal hygiene habits to teach your children at an early age include washing their hands, covering their nose and mouth, bathingdaily, and having good dental health by brushingwith electric toothbrushesand flossing on a daily basis. Hand washing is one of the most important things you can teach your child. This is the biggest way to safeguard your child from sickness. Teach your children to wash their hands before and after eating, after using the restroom, after coughing/sneezing, after playing with pets, after coming home from school or daycare, and after playing outside. To wash hands, a child should first wet their hands with warm water, then lather up with soap. The hands should be scrubbed while singing “Happy Birthday” twice, then rinsed well with warm water before drying off with a towel. Covering noses and mouths when sneezing or coughing will prevent many germs from being spread. It is best to teach children to cough and sneeze into their upper arm or shoulder to prevent more germs from being spread. However, if your child can not master this, you will need to make sure that they wash their hands as described in number one after they have covered their coughs and sneezes. Taking a bath is essential for good health. Once children are old enough, they may wish to shower. If bath time is not something that your child looks forward to, consider a fun bubble bath or a neat bath toy. Make sure you teach your child that it is essential to wash all parts of the body with soap to stay clean and healthy. Hair should be washed three per week to keep it free from dirt and oils. Hair should be brushed daily to avoid any tangles. While teaching hair care, let it be known to your child that they should avoid sharing combs and brushes with others to prevent the spread of lice. Good dental health is essential for any child. Many argue that it does not really matter if they brush or floss their teeth as they will eventually get their permanent teeth sooner or later. But teaching them now will ensure that they have good dental health for life. Many children prefer to be independent when they are young, so after they have brushed their teeth, you can quickly go over the teeth again to make sure that they are not missing spots. If they do not like brushing their teeth, you can add some excitement to their routine by purchasing an electric toothbrush. Electric toothbrushescan make brushing the teeth more exciting which could lead to less of a battle on your part. As an added benefit, electric toothbrushes can help clean the teeth better, which will lead to fewer cavities and less plaque and tartar accumulation.

June 20, 2018

Bargain hunting: Knowing beforehand what is on special saves money & time.

June is a month that is packed full of celebrations. It’s a month that features Youth Day and Father’s Day. This year we’re adding Eid-Ul-Fitr to the mix! That’s a lot of shopping to be done, and a lot of money to be spending. But, it’s vital that your kids get to join in on the celebrations as this builds character for the future. This means that you must find ways to stretch your Rand so that you could get all your items ticked off appearing on your list, in a convenient and almost stress-free manner. The best way to hunt for savings is shopping around. Remember when the best way to find sale items was visiting each supermarket scrounging their shelves? This however, meant that you ended up spending more money on petrol. Today, searching the internet for specials is easier than taking an actual trip to the supermarket. This too has its downfalls. Finding accurate information in one place requires some time searching; which could mean a few hours of your time too. Knowing what specials, you’ll be purchasing means that there is no need to cart your kids for longer than needed. You’re able to conduct your shopping as soon as the supermarket opens as this is the time that they are the least busy. It’s ideal as you purchase your items in comfort without having to weave amongst the rest of the shoppers. This also means that your kids are calmer and easier to deal with because less time in the shop means less boredom. Take a few toys, favorite clothing and extra snacks with so that they are fairly entertained on your shopping trip. How to take advantage of specials and really save money. Before hopping in your car, look at Shoprite specialsto find superb prices on food, toiletries, baby goods, food for your fur babies, and appliances too. Shoprite is well known for their usually low prices. However, they often reduce their prices which makes them extra special in our book. Make a list of what you really want; this way you won’t be easily swayed in to making unnecessary purchases in the shop. Once you’ve created your shopping list; the next step is to shop around. Checking out PicknPay specials onlinehelps in your decision making. Choosing your favorite grocery items, clothing, and most household goods makes it easier to do beforehand. Knowing what they have to offer allows you to decide if it’s worth it to go to the next shop as you would already know what is on offer. This dramatically reduces the chances of you overspending in the shop and saving on fuel. In addition, you’re able to compare the prices between the two supermarkets (and others), without having to be at an actual shop.

June 19, 2018

8 Steps to stop being a shouting mom

I’m not proud of it, but I became a shouting mom and this is not what I pictured or want for myself and my children. The problem is that when I started shouting I found it hard to stop using that as a way to get my children to listen to me. The bigger problem with this is that firstly my kids actually don’t listen to me when I shout and the damage is done. Shouting is not nice. I wouldn’t shout at my friends so why did I do it to my children? I’ve spoken to a number of moms about it, about my mom guilt and I thought I was the only one… but it turns out that I am not alone. I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse though. I’ve made it my mission to stop being a shouting mom. This is not the way that I want to deal with my children. I want to be a patient mother that listens to my children and looks after their tender feelings. I want to be a positive and happy mother that nurtures my children. Here are some things that I have implemented in my life that help me to be a better mom and stop shouting at my kids: Make A Commitment To Stop Shouting This is always the first step, without making a commitment to changing a habit it simply won’t happen. It’s not a “I will try not to” – tell yourself “I have made the decision not to shout at my children”. Make it a mantra and chant it inside your head to keep yourself focused. Ok so it may sound crazy but this worked for me. I had become so used to yelling that it became second nature and my first reaction to any negative behavior I saw in my kids. This needs to be changed and it needs to be constantly on your mind so that you can consciously change it. Remember That You Are A Role Model One of the signs to me that I needed to change and right now, is when I saw my daughter yelling at her younger brother. It was like looking in a mirror and hearing my own voice. I did not like the look of anger on her face, her finger pointing at him or the things she was yelling at him. It made me feel ashamed of myself and how can I now reprimand my daughter for her completely inappropriate behavior? It came straight from me! Children learn from mimicking their parents and other role models way more than from the things that we say to them that they need to do. If I am shouting and behaving badly my kids don’t stand a chance do they? As much as I would like to push away the memories of my daughter doing that I need to keep it in the front of my mind so that I don’t slip up. Admit You Were Wrong And Apologize I am not perfect, no mom is, and just like we try to teach our kids to look at themselves, to admit when they were wrong and to say sorry we must do the same. If I do lose my rag I go back to my children and I say that I was wrong and that I am very sorry. It actually goes a long way to mending a tender heart. It also practices what we preach and shows our children that we also make mistakes and have to make right afterwards. Look At Yourself First Yes your kids are driving you batty, of course they are – that’s what children do. They whine, they fight, they jump all over the couch and they make a mess. Chances are very high that when you get upset and lose your temper it has very little to do with the thing your child did. It probably has more to do with you. Are you getting enough sleep, are you stressed in your job, do you have too much on your plate? Chances are high you will be able to tick all of these off, but that is no reason to take it out on your kids. I know that when I am tired and have a lot on the go I am much more likely to shout at my kids. It’s not always possible to make things easier so that your temper is not so short. If you have a new baby and you have a toddler and maybe even more kids there is not going to be any way for you to get more sleep… but just knowing the reason behind your short fuse can help you to deal better with the day to day challenges you face. Know Your Triggers Identify what behaviors in your kids rile you up the most. Is it the whining or when your kids start fighting with each other? Also identify when you are most likely to be short tempered. Is it when you are trying to get your kids ready for school so you can make it to work on time or is it when you get home with your hands full and you have to make dinner but the kids are demanding all your attention making even the most mundane task impossible. When you know what your triggers are and understand them you will be much better able to cope with them. Make A List Of Alternatives Write down a list of alternatives when it comes to dealing with your children. You are not going to shout, so what are you going to do when your kids are driving you batty and you feel unable to cope with red hot anger rising up? When the moment arrives and you feel the urge to shout at your kids draw on this list of other ways to deal with the situation. One thing that works really well for

June 19, 2018

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