Child - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

The Importance of tummy time

Why is tummy time important? For strengthening the back muscles to assist later on with sitting. To strengthen the neck muscles. It is essential for the development of proper head control, as well as for the development of good postural control of the rest of the body. Helps babies learn to push up, roll over, sit up, crawl, and pull to a stand. Tummy time lays the foundation for the development of appropriate gross and fine motor coordination in childhood. When to start: You can start tummy time from birth – with your newborn lying skin to skin on your chest. From about one month old they can be placed in this position on their own and they will slowly start developing more head and neck control as well as back and shoulder stability which will eventually allow for reaching. Care should be taken when they are still young and battle with head control. No pillows should be used. It is wise to be with your baby when you place him on his tummy so that you can ensure that he does not smother. Always do this during the day when you can keep an eye on them. As his back and shoulder muscles continue to strengthen, he will begin to push up with his forearms resting on this floor. This position continues to strengthen shoulder muscles in preparation for crawling. How to do it: Let your baby lie on a firm, but soft surface, such as a soft carpet or a mattress. Generally, babies tend not to like being on their tummies, and need to have you around to distract them a little. If they fuss and cry when on their tummies, help them get used to it by putting them on your stomach either on the floor or on a reclining chair. The best distraction you have is yourself – get on the floor with them – babies love it when you are on their level. Sing them nursery rhymes, play peek-a-boo or move their favourite toy in front of them to get their eyes to track it or to get them to reach for it. Place a mirror in front of them so that they can look at themselves. Swish your baby through the air to music, supporting him with your arms and hands under his body and chest. Lie baby across a beach ball or exercise ball, or a rolled up sleeping-bag, and rock him gently to and fro and sideways: this will also stimulate his vestibular (balance) system and help him get used to being in different positions. Just remember to start with short, frequent periods in this position and your baby will slowly develop endurance and tolerance for being on their tummies.

March 2, 2018

3 Cool math apps for kids that make learning fun and exciting

I have always been interested in the educational toys and games, rather than toys and games that are mindless but fun. I am the type of mom that likes to give my daughter puzzles and books rather than Barbie Dolls. Now that my daughter recently turned 5 years old and just went back to play school to start Grade R, I am paying even more attention to anything educational that will help my daughter with her schooling in the coming years. One thing she has just started getting interested in is math. She just loves figuring out basic sums and the thing is that she hates being wrong and given her age, her attention span is not that great yet. But one thing she just loves is getting hold of my phone or ipad and being able to play a game. This can hold her attention longer than the battery can hold out! Does this sound familiar perhaps? I’ve come to realize how different life is for young kids compared to when I was growing up. Something that I have taken quite an interest in now since having children is apps. There is like an app for absolutely everything! What an incredible way to teach your child important things like math in such a fun and captivating way? Math apps will have your kids full attention learning addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division. Here are 3 cool math apps for kids that make learning fun and exciting: Math Racer (iOS/Android) Math Racer allows children (and parents if they wish to give it a try) to race a car as quickly and as far as they can. The faster they solve the addition problems, the quicker they will be able to unlock new race cars by collecting coins for correct answers . Of course, no racing game is complete without obstacles and this game will keep every child’s eyes glued to the screen as they try to come in first every time! Math Space (iOS/Android) Math Space is quite similar to Math Racer, but in this game children will be zooming around space as they quickly solve addition equations. They get to choose their own spaceship to fly in outer space and once they solved enough equations, they can unlock new spaceships. Math Manimals (iOS/Android) Math Manimals is a unique app that will take children from basic addition skills to more challenging division skills. Each manimal that they can use in the game is different and while they begin with Elliot, they can quickly earn points to unlock new manimals. Children will find themselves helping their manimals dodge flying objects while avoiding other obstacles on their way to the end of the game. Each of these apps by webgearing.com is available on iOS and Android for just $0.99. The beauty of getting math apps like these is that your children will not only learn much faster, but they will not even realize that they are busy learning. They will be so engrossed with playing the game and trying to reach new levels that it most likely won’t register to them that that they are busy learning. Now I have mentioned before on a number of occasions on my blog that I am not keen on giving my kids screen time on my phone or on my iPad, however when it comes to something like math apps or other educational apps I am prepared to bend the rules a bit. This means my child will cherish this screen time even more!

March 1, 2018

Playing with Purpose

Children need to play. Do you ever wonder whether your child plays too much, or maybe not enough? When your child plays is it even educational or beneficial? As experts in Early Childhood Development, we at Skidz can tell you that children learn through play and that playing is extremely beneficial for your child. According to the American Academy of Paediatrics play contributes to the physical, emotional, cognitive and social skills of your child. It also gives the parent or caregiver the time to be fully engaged with the child. There are two types of play namely structured play and unstructured play. Structured play also known as play with purpose, combines a learning objective with an enjoyable activity. This is the foundation of learning. So, if you want your child to learn some life skills, numbers and letters, sitting down with crayons, workbooks and flashcards is not going to cut it. To really engage in learning these skills should be taught through structured play. The benefits of structured play are endless, so let’s look at a few. It introduces young children to physical activity. Starting a pattern of being active and teaching body awareness. It develops motor skills and coordination. Reinforces the bond between a child and caregiver. Sharpens listening skills as they learn new vocabulary and to follow instructions. There is a whole new world to discover. Boosts self-esteem as they get praised for attempting and mastering new skills. Unstructured play, also known as free play, is not led by an adult but gives the child the freedom to decide what to do. This is beneficial for the child as they get a chance to be creative and use their imagination. It also gives them freedom to explore. At Skidz we are passionate about play as means of early childhood development. That is why we have set up the Skidz Clever Activity Boxes. Each box comes with over 100 activities as well as the equipment for each activity. Here you are given the tools needed to engage your child in structured play, with a daily curriculum. This curriculum makes it easy for a working parent or full time caregiver to spend quality time with their child while playing and having fun, without having to do a lot of preparation. The boxes start from birth up to 5 years and is not a subscription service. For more information or to order your box of fun go to http://skidz.co.za or follow us on facebook for some awesome ideas of what to do at home www.facebook.com/skidzsa

February 23, 2018

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD’S EMOTIONS?

Emotions… we all have them and there is no denying them as we are all born with them. Emotions are wonderful things to have, that is when they make us feel good. But, when they make us feel bad, they can potentially send us into a flat spin. Especially if it is your child who is feeling yukky and you have no idea what to do about it. So what are emotions and what does it mean when your child is throwing a tantrum, sulking, hitting other children, feeling sad or distressed. Emotions are the energy of feelings and feelings are based on what we think, especially about what we think about ourselves and the situations we are in. Let me explain, if you think there is something wrong with you, you will feel bad about yourself. Your actions will demonstrate how you are feeling and will be expressed from a place of anger or sadness or even depression. Another example is, if your child thinks they are not important, that you are too busy to spend any time with them. This may lead them to feel neglected or isolated which will come across again as sadness or resentment or any other kind of ‘negative’ type of emotion. The behaviour from this can manifest in a few ways. Tantrums, being ‘naughty’, ill-behaved or any kind of behaviour that is displayed to seek attention. The reason for this ‘bad behaviour’ is that children would rather get any attention, including being punished than have no attention at all. Emotions need to be viewed as a guidance system, your very own inbuilt GPS as emotion is what brings our attention to what is going on on a deeper level. A child does not have the ability or emotional literacy to express that they feeling are neglected, especially younger children, hence the reason that they demonstrate it with their emotions. However, this does not only apply to young children, but to older children and adults as well. Our emotions also cause a chemical reaction in the body. When we feel love, endorphins like serotonin and oxytocin are released into the body. These chemicals make us feel content and peaceful and happy. When we feel frustrated, resentful or fearful, cortisol and adrenaline are released into the body which makes us feel stressed, angry and aggressive. However, not only are our emotions affected by how we feel or think, they are also affected by our environment. What we eat, what is going on at school, what is going on at home, all has an affect on our emotions and ultimately our behaviour. When we eat processed food or food that contains chemicals like preservatives, colourants and artificial sweeteners, the body sees these as toxic or as poisons and tries to rid itself of it as quickly as possible. The behaviour that results from this is hyper activity, over activity or anxiety. Too much sugar has the same affect. In some cases sugar actually causes people to feel tired and lethargic. Especially when a person’s diet is not balanced and you are not getting enough protein, veg and healthy fats to balance it all out. Other chemicals that affect emotions and behaviour are the chemicals we inhale, like smoke, fumes, perfumes and household chemicals. All of these have an affect on the body’s chemical reaction which then affects emotions and energy. Other factors that affect a child’s emotions, are other people’s emotions. Emotions are incredibly contagious. If parents are stressed, worried, anxious or if they bicker and fight a lot, this will be transferred to your child and they will feel what you are feeling. This can be incredibly stressful for a child because they will have no idea what to do with it and often their behaviour once again will be affected. The same thing will happen if their teacher if stressed out or if the children in your child’s class are stressed and more so if there is bullying going on at school. I’m sure you can now appreciate why it’s so important to understand emotions so that you can help your child, and yourself, to deal with them. Unresolved emotions can cause incredible distress, anxiety and stress and the quicker you learn how to identify and ope with them, the better it is for everyone. If you want some help understanding emotions, then do join our free support group for parents and teachers on Facebook which you can find here

February 14, 2018

Back to school – here’s how to deal with 1st term jitters

Dissolve those first term jitters fast and ensure your child is emotionally ready for school and adapts well to his/her new routine with top tips by creative parenting expert in partnership with Toy Kingdom, Nikki Bush. The first bell of 2018 academic year has rung and first term jitters are still a real thing for some kids, especially those who have entered the classroom for the very first time. Bush says the change in a child’s usual environment; in this case a new school – pre-primary, primary and high school, and even moving onto the next grade mean kids find it daunting and stressful to adapt. “And parents the world over agree, when kids are fretful and uneasy, mom and dad are too,” she says. Here’s what Bush advises to help kids cope better. A movement matter: Bush says activities that involve movement are highly beneficial, it raises endorphins and puts kids in a better move. She suggests the following fun, interactive movement games: Rough and tumble Hide and seek Family time is fun time: Quality time with mom, dad also eliminate stress and is ‘”extremely important” to help kids relax. Bush says there are a few entertaining games fit for the whole family. Cricket Soccer Hopscotch “Parent-child interaction has a calming effect on kids and helps to minimise stress. It means bonding as a family, which also acts as a channel of support for children, they feel safe and secure and are reminded that mom and dad are there for them every step of the way,” Bush says. Say play: Since play is a universal language, Bush says “play your sillies away”, it has a calming effect on kids and helps to minimise stress. A few of the games she recommends. Board games Bikes and scooters Lego “Mom and dad, haul out all sorts of games and toys and let them play to their heart’s content. It does wonders,” she says. Drop-off deal: If children are more anxious with one parent than with the other, simply swap drop-off roles and “don’t feel guilty about it”. Bush advises parents to be: Flexible Adaptable

February 8, 2018

“Help, my child is behaving badly at school!”

The trouble with bringing children into the world is that they do not arrive with user manuals! How much easier would it be if we could troubleshoot in a manual and find the solution that would solve their problems with minimal mess and fuss! As parents, one of our deep-rooted fears is that our children may behave badly whilst at school, upset their teacher, classmates or, worse, the Principal (whom we have learnt to fear from our own childhood misdemeanours)! As a mom and teacher, Cindy Glass Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres can relate. She offers some advice and a new perspective to parents who are navigating the world of not-so-perfect kids. She starts out by acknowledging that negative behaviour at school can affect all who associate with the individual who has behaved badly. Parents, in particular, can feel angry, frustrated and even helpless when their child consistently chooses negative, self-harming behaviours. “It is very easy for a parent to slip into ‘reaction’ mode and punish the child in ways that they may have experienced as a child. It takes great courage, however, to choose to understand these behaviours and find positive, creative solutions,” says Cindy. She adds, “Consider this: Every choice we make, every action we take is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person! Negative behaviours at school have a solid and powerful root – FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear that the teacher will notice that he is struggling to understand the work, fear of being alone and fear of not being noticed and acknowledged. Think about it! Many children would rather get into trouble for negative behaviours than it be discovered that they are not coping with the pressures of school!” So what can you do? Cindy says that children need to understand that all actions have consequences. “Positive choices result in positive consequences and the same applies to negative choices. Being consistent in your expectations and consequences is essential.” “Fair, dependable boundaries are key to establishing a sense of stability within children. It takes courage not to shout, get excessively angry or perhaps even physically harmful toward a child who consistently misbehaves. I STRONGLY recommend that you read the book: ‘Have a new kid by Friday”, by Dr Kevin Leman. I did and it completely changed my approach to dealing with my children!” Cindy exclaims. Most of all she reminds parents that harmful words and actions destroy children and says that you should try teaching your child to value WHO HE IS and is so doing, overcome his fears. How? “Do this by choosing to value who YOU are!” says Cindy. There are no easy solutions, but with determination, patience and tons of love, you will be rewarded with more positive behaviours and it will be worth it! Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day

January 18, 2018

Handy homework hints

Homework is generally a painful process that is rarely met with excitement and anticipation. In fact, Cindy Glass, Co-Founder of Step Up Education Centres, the after-school remediation and tutoring franchise says, “In all my years teaching, I have yet to meet a parent or learner who cannot wait to do extra school work in the afternoons!” Whilst countries like Japan, the Czech Republic and Denmark assign little to no homework, South Africa doesn’t follow the same trend. “For us, homework is unavoidable, it is simply a part of our schooling system, whether we like it or not,” says Cindy. With that in mind, Cindy says that we need to not only find a way to help our children complete their homework tasks, but help them to enjoy doing it as well! She offers the following handy homework tips: Create a fun, practical workspace It is important to assign one specific area in the house to do all school tasks. By doing this you will train your brain to automatically kick into work-mode when you sit down. Have a desk and comfortable chair Have all the necessary stationary Make the space beautiful – display art or any awards/reward charts to keep your child motivated Keep it neat Switch off all distractions for the duration of the homework time Cell phones, TV, games and sometimes even music can be a distractor for both parents and learners. As a result, you both need to switch off (or place on silent) all digital devices. If you are a learner, let your friends know you will be unavailable for that period If you are a parent, switch your phone on silent as cell phone noises can be very distracting, prolonging the homework experience Be clear on what needs to be done By knowing exactly what needs to be done and by when, you will find it easier to complete the task. Use a whiteboard to list the tasks that need to be completed on that day Start with the easy tasks first as this will give your child an immediate sense of achievement For older learners who have projects or longer assignments, decide which part of each will be completed on that day, in addition to daily homework Tick off each task as you complete it Get extra help if you are stuck! For parents, ‘Google’ will tame many-a-challenge. Phone a friend if you need to. Whatever you do – do NOT behave negatively – explain to your child that there is a solution to every problem and you can work together to find it! If your child is struggling consistently, seek professional help from an after-school remediation centre. For older learners, make sure that they listen carefully in class. They need to ask their teacher if they are unsure of what is required. Remember, your child is not always going to feel okay about doing homework. Whenever this happens, Cindy suggests that you incorporate what she calls the ’10-minute rule’, “The first 10 minutes of anything is the worst. Get through those 10 minutes and you will find that the work will flow more easily and they will begin to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.”

January 18, 2018

Help your Child Play (right) to lay the Foundation for Future Academic Success

Giving their children a head start is something parents want to do. Unfortunately, the way this is done in our hyper-competitive, over structured world may in fact be working against exactly these intentions. More and more research is showing that the most critical activity for the development of little children’s brains and their social and cognitive skills, before they go to school, is good old-fashioned play. Far less is gained when little children have full schedules of structured activities, from basic maths classes to early reading, gymnastics, kiddy music and mini-soccer. “When it comes to brain development, time spent in the classroom and at other structured activities is less important than time on the playground,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. She says that research by Sergio Pellis, from the University of Lethbridge in Canada, showed that the experience of play changed the connections of the neurons in the pre-frontal section of a child’s brain, and that without play experience, those neurons remained unchanged. “Pellis found that it was those changes in the prefrontal cortex during childhood that helped wire up the brain’s executive control centre, which has a critical role in regulating emotions, making plans and solving problems. In other words, play prepares a young brain for life, love and even schoolwork,” Eaton says. But she warns parents whose children’s rooms look like toyshops that they need to get things back to basics, because the kind of play that is beneficial is primarily the kind of play that requires creativity, imagination and problem-solving. “In the pre-school phase children need basic toys, not those with roles defined by the media, as the latter limits imagination and the opportunities to plan and create. Provide the child with a good set of plain wooden bricks, a few non-battery-operated cars, a soft doll or two, a teddy, some plastic plates and cups and a big ball. “Old blankets or sheets for making houses and tents, and some boxes and crates will provide the basics for endless creative and imaginative play. Playdough, some crayons and big sheets of paper – not colouring books – as well as some paint will amply provide for creativity,” says Eaton. She says that parents need to appreciate that in allowing their children plenty of opportunities to play, with others and alone, they are laying the foundations for academic success. “Young children work hard at play, and it is not for nothing that play is considered a child’s work. They invent scenes and stories, solve problems and negotiate their way through social roadblocks. They know what they want to do and they work and plan to do it. “We as adults must not be too quick to interfere in this process, but allow them to work things out for themselves.” Parents who want to ensure their children are exposed to the right kind of free play (which ironically is also the least expensive kind) should ensure that they provide, from an early age, access to materials that will stimulate their sensory systems. These include water, sand, things that make a noise, books with pictures they can relate to and toys of different textures. “The contents of your saucepan and plastics cupboard will give hours of creative play while teaching concepts of matching, size, shape, texture and sound. Things that bounce, roll and change shape when pressed or pulled help develop spatial skills and visual acuity,” says Eaton. “Children must be free to move around once they are mobile, obviously with safety in mind, but do not fear the odd mouthful of grass or your child being dirty. Allow them to dig in the garden, pick flowers and when they are older, make mud cakes and grass ‘soup’ for their fantasy games.” The Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky found that children are able to rise above their average behaviour through play, notes Eaton. “It is through fantasy play that children make sense of their world. They must pretend and take on roles in order to understand. The more time children spend in dramatic play, the more they advance in terms of intellectual development and their ability to concentrate. “As a parent, it is best to curb the growing fashionable trend of extra murals for little children and allow uninterrupted time and space for fantasy play. Choose a pre-school that believes passionately in play based learning. This allows children to work through emotions such as anger, fear and jealousy, to become more self-disciplined, and to develop resilience. All these skills are essential to the development of individuals who can in future master academic challenges and live comfortably in their society.”

December 15, 2017

Deciding whether to keep a child back at school

Imagine that you are observing from the side of a swimming pool and are watching children learn how to swim. As you watch, you notice the different variety of abilities, confidence levels and fears that they display in the water. Some children seem to grasp these new skills with ease while others seem to struggle and need a bit of extra assistance and encouragement along the way. With a swimming gala looming ahead, the decision has to be made as to who is competent enough to compete at the next level, and who may need extra practice in mastering the skills that are needed. “In a scenario such as this one, it is without a doubt that any child who has not sufficiently mastered the skills at this level will become more fearful, less confident and progress slower if they were forced on to a more challenging level. They may even risk drowning in the process!” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. She adds that while learning to swim is not quite the same as learning to read, write and progress academically, the principal of learning any new skill is the same. “It is best to achieve sufficient mastery of each level of study before progressing to more challenging levels of learning.” Sadly, for generations, the need to repeat a school grade has been classified as a failure, leaving scores of parents and learners struggling to embrace the idea of repeating a grade to better master the necessary skills needed for the next level! “Yet, forcing a child, who is not ready, into the next grade could have a significantly negative impact on the child’s self- esteem and, worse, it could slow the learning process or even stop it altogether as the child’s struggles worsen with the pressures of the new grade!” Cindy explains. Cindy gives the following advice to parents facing the decision of whether to allow their child to repeat a grade or not: Repeating a grade is NOT a failure. It is an opportunity for a struggling learner to better master the skills he needs! If you speak of failure, your child will feel like he has, indeed, failed! Your approach to a child repeating the grade will determine your child’s reaction toward it! Discuss all available options with your child’s teachers before making a final decision. Have an open mind – remember that this is about what is best for your child. Discuss any concerns that you may have openly and honestly. Consider your child’s level of competency in the current grade. If your child is struggling significantly, he is most likely going to struggle even more so in the next grade. Consider your child’s age and physical development. Remember, always, that YOU need to decide what is BEST for your child. A child who is significantly taller or older than his upcoming classmates may feel too embarrassed for a repeat to be of any help! Make a list of all the pros and cons of your child repeating the grade or going on. Ask yourself: What is best for my child? What are the long-term benefits or harms? What would happen if I do/do not allow the repeat? “There is no denying that the decision to repeat a struggling learner is an emotionally tough one to make. Take your time and do what you feel is best for your child. Remember, how you react to the situation will set the tone for how your child responds to it!” Cindy concludes.

November 29, 2017

Practical ways to enhance emotional intelligence in children

Emotional Intelligence is like freshly-squeezed orange juice! When you squeeze an orange, you expect orange juice to flow out of it. You wouldn’t expect to find grape or peach juice inside an orange because an orange only has orange juice to give. Human behavioural choices are based on what we have inside to give – much like that orange. “What we have inside is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person. And… how we feel about ourselves as a person influences every choice we make!” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. She adds that every choice that we make defines the path of our lives! “All negative behaviours are based on fear, low self-esteem, self-defeating and destructive self-talk and low self-value. Consider, for a moment, how nobody, who values and respects himself would want to hurt another! The very act of self-value and self-respect ensures that he will give that out to others! This is the reason why it is so important to teach and enhance emotional intelligence skills in our children!” Emotional intelligence is self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills all packed into one. Cindy adds that children who master emotional intelligence skills become better leaders, study more effectively, enjoy more fulfilling relationships with others, are better able to retain information, have better concentration skills and live happier more fulfilled lives. “In fact,” she says, “Schools who teach emotional intelligence skills even have fewer bullying incidences and learning for all is more exciting, creative and effective!” She gives parents and caregivers the following tips on how to enhance a child’s emotional intelligence skills: Communication is key. We need to talk to our children about their emotions and listen sincerely to their answers… without judgement. This will help them become more aware of how they are feeling and, with your encouragement, they will find more positive solutions to any number of challenges. Use phrases such as: “How was your day?’ “What was the best/worst thing that happened today?’ “How did that make you feel?” “I hear you…” “I can understand how that must have upset you…” Teach your children to take responsibility for the choices that they have made. Blaming others has no value. We all make mistakes… own them and learn from them. Help your children understand that every choice has a consequence. We are free to make any choice that we want. The consequences, however, will be there no matter what. Teach your children to value who they are so that they will value others around them. Children do what we do and not what we say. It is vital for you to walk your talk.

November 24, 2017

The unwrapped gift of the gifted child

When we think of gifted children the first name that springs to mind is usually Einstein. I can’t help but wonder how many therapies Einstein would have been in if he had been born today. Rumour has it that he only started speaking at age 3, so already we have delayed development, paeds and speech therapy. Some have said that he would have been diagnosed today with autism or aspergers and would probably end up in special ed. He was known for long periods of daydreaming, something we treat these days with ADHD meds. Would we even pick up the underlying genius at all? I doubt it. Most gifted kids end up like an unwrapped gift – they are a group of the most unrecognized and misdiagnosed children around today. They are some of the children most often found in a variety of therapies because they don’t fit in the normal schooling mould and we don’t know what to do with them. They often have inconsistent developmental rates where they’re very advanced in one area and quite behind in another and so we surmise that they can’t be gifted if they’re not coping or at a similar level as other kids their age. Gifted kids tend to have one or more over-excitabilities including physical (misdiagnosed as ADHD and put on meds), sensory (misdiagnosed as sensory integration issues and sent to OT), emotional (misdiagnosed as emotional problems and sent to play therapy). It is up to us as parents to inform ourselves and trust our instincts when it comes to our children. Just because some professional tells you your child has a problem does not necessarily mean it is true. Get another opinion. Do some research. Dig a little deeper. Gifted kids may even need some therapy and may even have a learning disability that comes alongside their genius but often they are simply misdiagnosed in our modern day obsession with fixing children and making them all alike. If you suspect your child is gifted, they probably are. Here are the typical traits of a gifted child (keep in mind that gifted children, like all children, are unique and may or may not display all of these traits): Unusual alertness, even in infancy Rapid learner Excellent memory Unusually large vocabulary and complex sentence structure for their age Advanced comprehension of word nuances, metaphors and abstract ideas Enjoys solving problems, especially with numbers and puzzles Often self-taught reading and writing skills as preschooler Deep, intense feelings and reactions Highly sensitive Thinking is abstract, complex, logical, and insightful Idealism and sense of justice at early age Concern with social and political issues and injustices Preoccupied with own thoughts—daydreamer Learn basic skills quickly and with little practice Asks probing questions Wide range of interests (or extreme focus in one area) Highly developed curiosity Interest in experimenting and doing things differently Puts idea or things together that are not typical Keen and/or unusual sense of humour Desire to organize people/things Vivid imaginations (and imaginary playmates when in preschool) Parents are actually very good at judging whether their child is gifted or not, so trust yourself. Gifted kids, like special needs children, have different requirements in terms of education, stimulation, and emotional support. The sooner you unwrap your gift, the sooner you can figure out exactly how to nurture your unique child into fulfilling their potential.

November 14, 2017

Collaborative Learning

by Prof Rita Niemann Gerlach (2004) explained that collaborative learning is in essence a natural social act, implying talking about and discussing topics, which results in learning. In applying collaborative learning in terms of an educational approach, it means learners working together to solve problems or challenges in order to complete a task. How can collaborative learning contribute to the learning process? Collaborative learning can contribute to the learning process if the following elements are catered for: Some tips for effective collaborative learning Constituting the group Ideal size: 4-5 learners. Set up the groups prior to assigning the tasks. Place groups in a way to optimise collaboration (e.g. around a table). Assigning the task Plan meticulously (e.g. the purpose, handouts, resources, etc.). Use real-world problems to stimulate problem-solving and critical thinking skills. Link emerging ideas to the purpose and objectives of the tasks. Allow sufficient time. Align tasks to the learners’ experiences, access to resources, skills, etc. Present task in a visible manner. Group member interaction Allow for questions, if learners are not clear about what is expected from them. Insist on proper behaviour. Set ground rules for how groups have to operate. Account for the diversity in and between groups, Assign roles to the members of the group or allow the groups to assign their own roles. Determine whether the team members have the required resources or allow for sharing resources. A group name or logo builds group cohesion. Allow for ample communication between members. Allow learners to conduct research/explore options to solve a challenge/conduct an activity. Allow for applying their own ideas. Facilitator’s role Have incentives/rewards to excite members to accomplish their goals. Include an element of competition. Monitor the groups’ progress, but do not interfere with their work. Let groups give feedback (orally or in a written form). Give constructive feedback on what worked well and where learners were on the right track and make suggestions for improvement. Allow learners to reflect on their group experiences. Discuss/present the outcome/s to get critique. Support learners who fall behind. The usage of technology should be considered (e.g. chats).

November 9, 2017

5 Parenting Tips For Children With Autism

When autism is diagnosed early the long term outcome is almost always better since you can start behavioral therapy early on. Being a parent is a demanding task that requires a lot of effort. If you have a special needs child then you will find parenting even more challenging. No parent is prepared when they find out that their child has autism and it may seem completely overwhelming, however there are some steps that you can take that will help you to cope easier and help you to assist your child better. Here are some simple parenting tips for children with autism: 1 Structure, Routine & Safety All children need structure, routine and safety but children with autism need it even more so. An autistic child will struggle to apply things learnt in one setting to another, so it will be important to find out what your child is learning at school and in therapy so that you can also apply those things at home. Consistency also needs to be applied to the way you deal with your child’s challenging behavior and interact with your child. Try and keep your daily routine the same as far as possible, so therapy times, meal times, play time and bedtime should be the same as far as possible. There will be times that you will need to break your schedule, so when this happens let your child know in plenty of time and help your child prepare for the change. While it may seem easier to keep your child at home due to unpredictable behavior it is important for your child to learn how to deal with the outside world too. Choose some regular errands that you do with your child such as grocery shopping so that your child can get accustomed to doing it on a regular basis. This should be included in your schedule and over time it will get easier and you child will become better adjusted. It is a great idea to set up a safe zone for your child in your home. This space should be a quiet area where your child can be comfortable, relax and feel safe. You can mark this space out clearly for your child. Keep in mind that your child has sensory sensitivities. This means that your child is super sensitive to sound, light, touch, smells and movements. Take this into account when you create this safe zone. This is going to be the place for your child to get away from it all and be safe. 2 Put Emphasis On Play Play is important for all children, as well as children with autism. In fact it may be even more important since your child will be doing a lot of therapeutic activities. Try and keep play as fun as possible, focusing on things that will bring your child out of his or her shell. Keep in mind that verbal skills is not your child’s forte so try and get some non-verbal activities that you can do together too so that your child can relax and not feel too much pressure. Remember to keep play fun rather than therapeutic. Make sure that you put loads of play time on your schedule and try to make it at a time that your child is most alert. 3 Positive Parenting Positive parenting is important for all children, but even more with special needs children. It is important to be patient and accept your child at whatever stage he or she is at. Focusing on the positive behaviors in your child with praise and rewards will go a long way. Be very specific when you praise your child so he or she knows exactly what it is that has been achieved. Find ways to reward your child for positive behavior that will reinforce your praise. Your child will regularly have tantrums and difficulty controlling his or her negative behaviors. Try to be patient and not to let this affect you, rather keep focused on figuring out what the trigger is for this behavior. Your autistic child will have more difficulty communicating and this can be a huge source of frustration for your child. Try and learn your child’s non-verbal cues. 4 Figure Out What Works There is no one thing that will work for all autistic children. Your child will have his or her own unique triggers and ways of communication. Since your autistic child will struggle with verbal communication you will need to pay special attention to your child’s non-verbal communication. Learning about autism and specifically about your own child is key here. You will need to try out different things to find out what really works for you and your child. Trust your instincts and try to be patient with yourself and your child. There are so many different types of approaches to treating autism so if you try one type of therapy and it doesn’t work don’t let if get you down. Keep trying until you find the unique plan that works best in your unique circumstances. 5 Get Support Looking after yourself is essential so that you are emotionally, physically and spiritually strong enough to look after your child. While you may feel that taking some time off from your child is selfish and that it is your responsibility you do need the time off to look after yourself. Get a family member to look after your child regularly or a carer so you can rest a bit. Joining a support group for ASD will help you immensely since you will be able to meet other families that are dealing with the same things you are. You will be able to get advice from other people that are facing the same challenges as well as get emotional support when things get tough. Dealing with a special needs child can take its toll on you emotionally, so you (or your parter) may suffer from depression, stress or anxiety. Consider getting counseling for yourself,

October 20, 2017

QUALITIES IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

Searching for some easy ways to help your kids feel good about themselves? A practical way to build their self-esteem is to focus on just four qualities. Belonging is about meaningful connections with others. Kids, who feel they belong, feel safer, self-assured and better at managing challenges. This is why when friends exclude them it really hurts. By helping them to adjust to new environments; encouraging healthy friendships and building family values, you boost their sense of belonging. Tips Set up play dates and activities where they can learn to cooperate Encourage team sports/group activities In new places and situations help them feel that they belong Do fun things together as a family Mastery is the ability to achieve a skill / feel competent at something. Kids love to be noticed whenever they get something right without your help. This is why your four-year-old melts down when you take over for them. Babies don’t give up on walking after falling down once or twice. As parents we need to step back a little, motivating them to keep trying, while encouraging them to achieve things by themselves. Tips Be encouraging when they are trying/showing you a new skill Avoid taking over when they’re struggling (rather encourage finding other ways ) Always comment on their efforts Independence is about being your own person – making decisions, problem solving and taking responsibility. When kids are given chances to manage themselves and become inwardly directed, their confidence soars. Remember over time, school and sport demands increase and kids are expected to manage without your help, relying on their own inner qualities and resources. Tips Do less for them, and more with them (i.e. stand by while supporting with words) Don’t always give solutions – rather encourage them to think Offer choices – it builds independence Encourage decision-making- without telling them what you would do Involve them in simple household chores from an early age – it builds independence, responsibility and self-discipline. If you’re in doubt as to whether they can do something without your help, give it a try. Use words to guide them, while standing by and commenting on how well they’re tackling the task. Although they may want you to help, if you keep encouraging and only help with words, they’ll soon believe in themselves too. Generosity is about giving to others without expecting anything back. In helping others, kids feel good about themselves. Where children have plenty of opportunities and positive encouragement to be generous, they naturally become more helpful and caring, and compassionate towards others. Remember they’re learning by seeing what you do. With a little bit of effort, any selfish habits can be unlearned, and our kids can become far more helpful, kind and generous than we can imagine. Lead the way and let them follow. Tips Be caring – share hugs and smiles Encourage gift making, giving and donating used clothes/toys Create a “gratitude jar” – let them write down what they feel most grateful for daily and put it in the jar The wonderful parenting joy about strengthening these qualities (adapted from the Circle of Courage Model) is that it with a little bit of focus and effort we can build lifelong self-esteem in our children. Written by Carol Surya, author of ParentMagic – raising kids positively.

October 17, 2017

Help, my child is behaving badly at school!

The trouble with bringing children into the world is that they do not arrive with user manuals! How much easier would it be if we could troubleshoot in a manual and find the solution that would solve their problems with minimal mess and fuss! As parents, one of our deep-rooted fears is that our children may behave badly whilst at school, upset their teacher, classmates or, worse, the Principal (whom we have learnt to fear from our own childhood misdemeanours)! As a mom and teacher, Cindy Glass Co-Founder and Owner of Step Up Education Centres can relate. She offers some advice and a new perspective to parents who are navigating the world of not-so-perfect kids. She starts out by acknowledging that negative behaviour at school can affect all who associate with the individual who has behaved badly. Parents, in particular, can feel angry, frustrated and even helpless when their child consistently chooses negative, self-harming behaviours. “It is very easy for a parent to slip into ‘reaction’ mode and punish the child in ways that they may have experienced as a child. It takes great courage, however, to choose to understand these behaviours and find positive, creative solutions,” says Cindy. She adds, “Consider this: Every choice we make, every action we take is based on how we feel about ourselves as a person! Negative behaviours at school have a solid and powerful root – FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear that the teacher will notice that he is struggling to understand the work, fear of being alone and fear of not being noticed and acknowledged. Think about it! Many children would rather get into trouble for negative behaviours than it be discovered that they are not coping with the pressures of school!” So what can you do? Cindy says that children need to understand that all actions have consequences. “Positive choices result in positive consequences and the same applies to negative choices. Being consistent in your expectations and consequences is essential.” “Fair, dependable boundaries are key to establishing a sense of stability within children. It takes courage not to shout, get excessively angry or perhaps even physically harmful toward a child who consistently misbehaves. I STRONGLY recommend that you read the book: ‘Have a new kid by Friday”, by Dr Kevin Leman. I did and it completely changed my approach to dealing with my children!” Cindy exclaims. Most of all she reminds parents that harmful words and actions destroy children and says that you should try teaching your child to value WHO HE IS and is so doing, overcome his fears. How? “Do this by choosing to value who YOU are!” says Cindy. There are no easy solutions, but with determination, patience and tons of love, you will be rewarded with more positive behaviours and it will be worth it! About Step Up Established in 2016, Step Up Education Centres is a dynamic after-school remediation and tutoring franchise with a difference. Step Up offers children an opportunity to succeed in a schooling system that is, at times, very unsympathetic. From the moment, a child walks through a Step Up Education Centre doors they feel different. They no longer feel silly or stupid. They no longer feel misunderstood. They no longer feel judged. After just one lesson they feel hope. They see possibility. After a few sessions, they walk taller, feel smarter, do better. Why? Because Step Up believes that every child has potential…And our passionate educators will not give up until they reach it!

October 3, 2017

Why kids prefer camp over school

Camp and school are very similar in that both are learning environments for children. However, the differences between the academic and experiential learning context explains why many children not only prefer camp, but also why they gain more personal growth in the camp environment. Here are 8 differences between camp & school: 1. Experiential learning method Learning is practiced on a daily basis at both camp and school. While school is more about textbook learning and studying for exams, camp promotes learning via experiential education. At camp, children get to physically participate in an activity and attain a skill from it. This method of learning seems to be what many children prefer. 2. Informal atmosphere School provides a formal environment, which children may find intimidating and conformist. Camp, on the other hand, is a very casual environment which allows kids to learn while still having fun and without too much restriction. The quote, “What we learn in fun, we never forget” is all too true for the camp environment. 3. Supervisors are role models Learners at school are supervised by their teachers with whom they often cannot develop a friendship, nor are they offered any opportunities to do so. At camp, kids are cared for by young adults called camp counselors. These counselors are specifically trained in child psychology, and as young adults with a passion for children they easily become role models and friends to the children in their care. 4. Diverse friendships Some schools restrict their learners from making friends beyond their age group, and the class barriers often prevent kids from different grades and schools from mixing with one another. Whereas, holiday camps accommodate children from around the world of all ages, of all cultures and races. This exposure to diversity is healthy for children, and it allows kids to make friendships freely and to expand their worldview – all with appropriate supervision. 5. Bullying prevention Schools have become the prime ground where bullies are born and begin terrorizing other children. The reason for this is probably because teachers are expected to spend more time teaching and performing administrative duties, rather than paying careful attention to their learners and their individual needs. At camp, the counselors supervise the children around the clock which allows them to deal with bullying as it happens and it also allows them to spend quality time with each child to attend to their personal needs. Additionally, many camps have a higher staff to child ratio than schools, which helps to create a bully-free environment. 6. Fostering Independence Learners at school are controlled by their school rules which promote discipline and order, and understandably so. However, kids also love the freedom to choose, of which there is little opportunity at school. Camp, on the other hand promotes independence and balances this with discipline. Children may choose the clothes they wear, the activities they want to participate in, the friendships they make and the food they eat. 7. Physical activity is promoted Learners spend most of their school day behind a desk rather than outdoors, which many children find frustrating and uninspiring. At camp, kids are always on the go, out and about, having fun and being active without the distraction of technology. Not to mention that the increased exercise they receive at camp benefits their ability to learn, concentrate and the quality of their sleep. 8. Less anxiety and more stress management Mention exams and assessments and watch how quickly children develop anxiety. The schooling environment can put a lot of pressure on kids, whether it is peer pressure to do well, or the usual exam stress. Camp is a more anxiety-free environment, and when children to do express their anxiety, they are encouraged to communicate with a counselor and also taught coping mechanisms to help them handle their stress. Obviously, school cannot be avoided, but the camp environment is a child’s sanctuary when school closes for the holidays. Together, both school and camp experiences provide many opportunities for a child’s academic and personal growth. Therefore, camp is well worth considering for your child to receive the benefits of both experiential and academic education.

October 2, 2017

Crossing The Midline

There are many terms that teachers, psychologists and other professionals may use that, at times, are perhaps not explained effectively leaving parents at a loss to the significance of these difficulties. It is important to understand what the importance of these conditions are, (especially if they have been mentioned in your child’s school report) what they mean, and the possible consequences and repercussions thereof. The midline is akin to an imaginary line going down the middle of one’s body from head to toe. Midline crossing is important for many skills to develop later on. For example, midline crossing is important for a youngster to develop the ability to use one hand to write across the entire page. This will also determine whether the youngster will have the necessary skills to read the length of the sentence across the page from left to right A child who can’t cross the midline, for instance, would use his/her left hand to write or paint on the left-side of the page and his/her right hand to write or paint on the right-hand side of the page which can hamper the learning process. Crossing the midline is also an indicator of bilateral co-ordination which is the ability to use both sides of the body and brain simultaneously. This is important for gross motor skills such as climbing stairs, walking, riding a bicycle and swimming. In addition, bilateral co-ordination is also important to read, write and learn. In other words, the right and left brain have to work together, for example in reading the left brain’s task is to decode a word whilst the right brain facilitates the understanding and meaning of what was read. Midline crossing is therefore essential for a youngster to develop as it is a very necessary skill for learning in all areas of life.

August 28, 2017

How to Communicate When Your Child is Away From Home

How do you communicate with your child when they are away from home for a prolonged time? Whether its for a sleepover holiday camp, school tour or even if they’re spending a few days at a friends house; the way you communicate with your children when they are away affects how much they will enjoy their away-from-home experience. More parents and children are reluctant to spend time away from home whether it’s for reasons that have to do with safety, homesickness or insecurity. However, it is important that parents don’t communicate their insecurities so that their children can enjoy themselves and long-term, so that they can grow up into independent and confident people. At Sugar Bay Resort, a holiday camp for kids and teens, we challenge both parents and children to write letters to one another the traditional way when at camp. We allow our campers to write a letter to their parents on the third day of camp. These letters are then scanned and emailed to parents, opening the door of communication between parents and their children. However, the parents’ replies are often very formal and lack the gist of a meaningful letter. Here are 6 tips when communicating to your children when they are away from home, whether it’s a letter or over the phone: Focus: Find a private and distraction-free place to speak to your child so that you can really listen. They can tell when you are busy with something, or not listening, so don’t try to multi-task. Focus completely on your conversation or the letter you are writing. Avoid talking about home: Ask questions about where they are and what they have been up to, rather than talking about home life. It’s important to recognise that as a parent, your words play an integral part in homesickness. Always be encouraging and supportive: Encourage them to talk about their new experiences and what they’ve been up to, and support them when they share something new they did (especially when it’s something you don’t expect). Avoid too many questions: Too many questions will make your kids feel pressured to respond correctly, or write back more often than they would prefer to. Avoid heavy-handed disapproval or reprimands: This is certainly an unpleasant thing to come across in any letter. Let the kids know that they are missed: However, avoid getting too emotional. Tackle this with a change of topic. For example; persuade the kids to describe the new friends they made at camp. This will take the focus away from the emotional attachment which the word “missing” brings. Children love getting letters from home when they are at Sugar Bay camp. It makes them feel important and helps them realize just how much they are loved, overall, building up their confidence and courage to make the most out of their week away from home. Letters are also often a sentimental item that most kids will keep forever. Therefore, Sugar Bay has a dedicated email address which parents can use for these letters when their children are at camp. Take the time to hand-write a beautiful, meaningful letter or have a supportive conversation using the eight great tips above; because in this case, words speak louder than actions.

August 24, 2017

Your Child’s Hearing

Hearing is an essential part of development as it enables babies to take in information about the world around them. It stimulates brain development and is critical for language development. For this reason, it is vital to identify and address hearing difficulties as early as possible. By the 16th week of pregnancy, the tiny bones in the baby’s ears begin to develop. By the 20th week of pregnancy, the baby begins to respond to sounds. Loud sounds may even make the baby startle or move about. By the 25th week of pregnancy, the auditory system becomes fully functional. At this point the baby is able to hear your voice when you are speaking or singing. Studies have shown that after birth, babies are able to recognize songs that were sung to them while in the womb. Unlike the visual system where actual visual experience begins after birth, the auditory system requires auditory experience with voice and language, music and meaningful environmental sounds during the last 10 to 12 weeks of fetal life. A child is born with a mind that is open and ready to receive information through all five senses. The more information the mind receives, the better the child is able to understand and participate in the world around them. All five senses are tools for learning and communicating. However, the sense of hearing is the most critical for speech and language development. It is difficult to define “normal” hearing development when speaking about human beings as each individual develops in their own way and at their own pace. However, over the years, several researchers have been able to compile a guideline for general milestones for hearing development: A Guideline for Hearing Developmental Milestones Birth At birth, babies are able to exhibit a startle reflex in response to sudden loud noises. This means that they will stiffen, quiver, blink, fan out their fingers and toes, or cry as a response. They are often sensitive to a wide range of sounds, including intonation and rhythmic cues. At birth, babies are able to recognize their mother’s voice and often prefer the sound of their mother’s voice. Sounds of different pitches have different effects on the infant. Low frequency sounds and rhythmic sounds have a calming effect. Higher frequency sounds result in a more violent reaction. You may note an increase or decrease in sucking in response to sound. Three Months At three months of age, babies are more aware of human speech and will begin to attend to voices. They will also start to show excitement for familiar sounds such as approaching footsteps, running bath water, etc. At this age, babies tend to awaken or quiet to the sound of their mother’s voice and will vocally respond to their mother’s voice. They begin to imitate noises as they hear them e.g. ooh, baba. Most importantly, at this stage, babies begin to localize sound by means of turning their eyes toward the general sound source. This is a great time to introduce sound-making toys; as they begin to enjoy such sounds and will listen to bells and other sound-making toys near them. Four Months By four months of age babies start localizing sound by turning their head toward the general source of sound and they will actively search for human voices. Five Months At 5 months of age, babies are able to localize sound more specifically. They distinguish between friendly and angry voices and react appropriately. They will stop crying or coo is response to music and become very interested in human voices. At this point, they are able to discriminate between sounds of strangers and familiar people. Six Months By 6 months of age, babies specifically locate sound from any direction, such as the bell that is rung out of sight (downward localization develops before upward localization). They will respond to human speech by smiling or vocalizing and will turn immediately to their mother’s voice across the room. They may show evidence of response to different emotional tones in their mother’s voice. Their association of hearing with sound production is now evident, in that they repeat selected sounds that they have heard. Eight Months At 8 months of age it is expected for the baby to turn his head and shoulders toward familiar sounds, even when he cannot see what is happening. They begin to understand sounds and words in context e.g. responding to a telephone ringing, a human voice, his own name, “no-no,” “bye-bye“. It is at this point that they begin to enjoy games like pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo. They may respond with raised arms when their mother says, “Come up” and reaches toward the child. One Year At one year of age it is expected that the child will babble in response to human voice. His sound imitations indicate that he can hear the sounds and match them with his own sound production. He will enjoy various sounds like jingles and rhymes and show interest in environmental sounds that may even be beyond his immediate surroundings. The child will respond to simple commands (at first, only when the command is accompanied by a gesture), such as giving a toy on request or going somewhere as directed. At this age, it is expected that the child understands an assortment of action words (verbs) such as “drink“, “go“, “come“, “give“, as well as some simple directions such as “wave bye bye.” No real understanding of questions is shown at this point. Two Years By two years of age several hearing and communication skills have developed: Shows interest in the sounds of radio or TV commercials. Listens to reason of language. Listens to simple stories. Responds to command, “Show me the —.” Understands and answers simple “wh” questions, e.g. “Where is your –?” Responds to yes/no questions by shaking or nodding head. Waits in response to “just a minute.” Identifies five body parts. Understands family names by selecting appropriate pictures. Understands the phrase, “have sweets after lunch” Carries out 4

August 24, 2017

3 Steps to help your child grow from failure

In today’s competitive environment, where some toddlers attend maths development classes and other youngsters are pushed to start reading fluently before they enter Grade 1, parents can be forgiven for being concerned about the future of their children who show signs of struggling academically or otherwise. But one of South Africa’s leading education experts says that the situation can and must be turned around before it spirals out of control and negatively impacts – unnecessarily so – on a child’s entire sense of self and self-esteem. And the way to do this is to cultivate a “growth mindset”, she says. “Children who think their intelligence and ability is ‘fixed’ – that they are stuck at a certain level of smarts — tend to do less well than those who think that they can, with perseverance, achieve at anything they set their minds to,” says Traci Salter*, Strategic Academic Development Advisor at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. “However learners who understand that their intelligence or skill level can be improved by effort and experimentation seek more challenges, learn from mistakes and don’t give up in the face of failure,” she says. The concept of the Growth Mindset was pioneered by Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, and draws on neuroscience showing that a learner’s brain can improve with dedicated effort. Her research showed that personal qualities and abilities are not fixed, but can change with a simple change in approach. Dweck’s research further showed that how children think about themselves has a significant impact on learning; with a strong connection between students’ motivation to learn a new skill and how they perceived their intelligence. “Cultivating a growth mindset in one’s child is not a complicated process, and it can be given immediate and significant momentum with just one little word: yet,” says Salter. For instance, if Anna is having trouble with language learning skills, explain that she isn’t good yet. If Mandla can’t get to grips with algebra, it is because he hasn’t grasped it yet. Emphasise that with effort, they will eventually master these skills. Carol Dweck recommends we ensure that children know “it is okay and safe to fail, and that taking risks and learning from failure can lead to invention and creativity”, notes Salter, adding that the way we praise our children also plays an important role. “Dweck advised that, rather than using general praise, for instance saying ‘you can do it because you are so smart’, parents and teachers should praise specific efforts that lead to improvements such as focus, persistence and work habits. For instance, one could say ‘you’re doing a great job organising your science fair experiment. It will give you plenty of time to practise presenting. “This takes the spotlight off fixed ability and puts it on the process of learning and developing.” Following Dweck’s strategies, Salter says there are 3 steps parents can take to help their children develop a growth mindset: 1) HAVE DAILY LEARNING DISCUSSIONS At dinner, in the car or at bedtime take time for both children and parents to share the answers to these types of questions: “What did you learn today?” (Instead of “How was your day?”) “What mistake did you make that taught you something today? “What did you try that you found hard today?” It is important for parents and guardians to share their learning as well, because it models to children that even grownups learn new things every day, and learn from failures. 2) GIVE FEEDBACK ON PROCESS ONLY Praise effort by children – for instance persistence, thinking of alternate strategies, seeking new opportunities, setting ongoing goals, planning for achieving these, and considering creative alternates to the challenge at hand. Don’t praise personal abilities like being smart, pretty, or artistic. This kind of praise could actually lead to a loss of confidence since children won’t be smart at everything. They’ll doubt their ability to master something that is difficult initially. 3) ENCOURAGE RISK, FAILING AND LEARNING FROM MISTAKES Failure teaches our children important life lessons. For one, it’s how they learn resilience, perseverance and self-motivation. Now is the time to let our children risk and fail. But we often want to prevent our children from failing, from feeling upset or sad. Don’t. “We must let our children experience some failures while they are young, so that they can strengthen their growth mindset muscles. If we don’t, they will become adults with no perseverance, or belief in their abilities to work hard and succeed,” says Salter. “And when the going gets tough, and challenges feel extra challenging, we should help our children celebrate the fact that they are learning and building mental muscle. Tell them about all the famous people who failed and didn’t give up, like Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan and Oprah Winfrey, and remind them that every challenge provides an opportunity to become more empowered.”

August 14, 2017

Saying goodbye to your kids – The Do’s and Dont’s

The way in which you say goodbye to your kids before a new experience can either encourage them or incite panic and despair. For children, a new experience can be scary and they depend on the support from their parents in order to respond to this experience positively. Here are some Dos and Don’ts for certain first-time-experiences: Saying goodbye at school for the first time: Watching your little one walk away from the car into the school gates for the first time is often a very stressful experience for parents. However, it is much more challenging for your child, be it the first day of primary school, high school or college. DOencourage your child and speak about how exciting this new experience will be. Focus on the opportunities it will offer and the positive things to look forward to in the day. The trick is to be more excited than your child, and your excitement will surely rub off on him or her. DON’Tthink of all the things that could go wrong and don’t share these thoughts with your child. Feeding your child’s mind with negative body language and expressing doubts will not encourage them to look forward to this new opportunity. Your child will emulate your anxiety, resulting in them feeling “on edge” all day long. Saying goodbye for their first sleepover camp: Sending your child away for a week-long sleepover camp can be rather nerve-wracking for both parents and children. Homesickness, safety concerns and the thought of your child having an unpleasant experience are one of parents’ greatest concerns. DOyour research about the camp to put your mind at ease about the safety and enjoyment of the venue. Read online reviews, request a tour of the camp if you can and ask all your questions. DOstart encouraging your child’s excitement in advance. Research the fun activities they can participate in at camp by watching YouTube videos or visiting their website. Take your kids shopping for their camping experience. Whether you’re just getting a few odds and ends or searching for the best insect repellent or sun block, it will definitely get them excited. Be sure to tell them about how this opportunity will allow them to create new friendships. DON’Ttell your kids about how much you will be missing them. This will probably make them feel guilty about being away from home and is one of the main contributing factors which lead to homesickness. Don’t call the camp and request to speak to your child too often either. It’s best to send an email which can get passed on to your child, rather than interrupting your child’s first experience sleeping away from home. If you do call, remember to sound happy and encourage your child to share what they’ve enjoyed so far and to make the most out of this experience. Saying goodbye before their first solo flight: The first time on a foreign mode of transport is a scary ordeal for anyone. No parent necessarily wants their minors to be unaccompanied when traveling, however, certain situations will require them to be independent and conquer this fear. DOTell them about how proud you are of them for being so responsible and going on a plane by themselves. This will boost their confidence. DOShare the interesting things they would fancy on a plane ride, such as the good food, free drinks, window seats, fun onboard games and movies etc. DOReassure them that they will be safe and that air travel is the safest mode of transport in the world. Also, inform them that they are not alone and that the airplane has a host of friendly and helpful staff who will be there to assist them at all times. DOprepare them for turbulence and the speed of take-off, so they aren’t terrified when it happens. Explain that this is a normal and common thing for planes. DON’Tdiscuss all the things that could go wrong on this journey, such as a plane crash, or plane hijacking, etc. This is not encouraging, even as a joke, and will send your child running for the hills when it’s time to board their plane. DON’T look or sound concerned or sad in front of your child. Your emotions have a major impact on your child’s behavior. No matter the situation, remember to always be encouraging and speak confidently when saying goodbye to your kids. Keep reminding them of everything positive that they will experience and they will conquer their “first-time-alone” fears with confidence.

August 11, 2017

Anger in Children: When is it a Problem?

Anger is a normal emotion that every happy healthy adult and child has to deal with from time to time. When does expressing anger become a problem? Children go through different stages with their age that affect the way they deal with anger. Anger is usually not a root emotion, but a term that may cover feelings ranging from embarrassment, frustration, loneliness to guilt. A newborn baby expresses their “anger” or frustration over being hungry, tired or uncomfortable by screaming and crying. A two-year-old may throw tantrums that include rolling around on the floor or trying to hit the parent, sibling or even their pet. As a child gets older, hopefully proper responses to anger have been modelled for them and they can learn to express their anger more appropriately. Anger becomes a problem when it causes negative, aggressive behaviour, gets out of control and when the root cause of the problem isn’t being dealt with. For instance, often children with undiagnosed learning disabilities will have frequent angry outbursts. They may be feeling frustrated because they are struggling to learn and it may feel like the world is closing in on them when parents or teachers suggest that they aren’t trying hard enough or doing their best. Because the child isn’t able to deal with the real issue, they become angry over small incidents that would normally be insignificant. This helps them to avoid feeling “stupid” or incapable. Once the problem is discovered and the child gets the help, support and proper discipline that is needed, the angry outbursts become less frequent or disappear altogether. It is important that children learn how to express their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. A child should never be told that their feelings are wrong, though they may need reminding if their behaviour is wrong. For instance you might say, “Johnny, I understand that you are angry about your brother breaking your toy, that wasn’t fair, but it is not okay to hit when you are angry.” The child needs to know that his feelings are validated and should also be given some ideas about how to handle the situation better the next time they are in a similar position. Anger is a normal emotion for people of all ages, including children. Good communication and modelling good behaviour are two of the best ways to help children learn to deal with anger. Taking the time to praise your child whenever he or she does anything that is positive can also help them understand what it expected and feel good about doing what is right. Take the time to check yourself to see if you spend too much time being negative or angry and find ways to be more positive. If the parents in the home aren’t dealing with anger appropriately, they can’t expect the child to. Be willing to admit when you are wrong and apologise to your child, teaching them to do the same. If you suspect that your child has a serious anger problem, it may be time to get some additional help and guidance. Written by: Ray Subs Ray Subs is a public relations consultant working to promote the Help Your Child with Anger Blog.

July 30, 2017

Tips for helping a shy child

If you have a shy or timid child you know that it can sometimes tug at your heart-strings and be pretty painful. You have so many hopes and dreams for your child and want to wave that magic wand and make all the discomforts and problems disappear. Unfortunately, it is not so simple. I have come to realize that understanding behaviour is half the battle. Once you understand why your child is shy you can give your child the tools to try to overcome shyness and deal better with the situations that make him or her uncomfortable. Being a shy child myself I truly understand how painful being in social situations can be. Any help and any tools you can give your child will be stepping-stones to a well-balanced childhood. A shy toddler is usually a child that was born with a more introverted and sensitive personality. This does not have to be a negative quality as long as your child is comfortable in most situations. Keep in mind that personality and temperament is not something you can or should want to change. Helping your child gain confidence in social setting is the goal. Remember, shyness does not have to be debilitating. In order to help your child I would suggest that you consider your expectations. Your child has his or her own unique strengths and abilities as well as comfort levels. Ask yourself if there is any behaviour of yours that should be changed in order to help your child. For instance, if someone comments about your child’s shyness how do you react and respond? Do you push your child in certain situations hoping that will help? Here are a few guidelines that may help you and your child: Shy children are usually a bit anxious to try not to push your shy child into a new activity. A shy child will like to take his or her time to size things up and settle in . They usually gain confidence by watching first , participating second. Eye contact is key in most situations. A shy child will usually avoid eye contact. You can help by practicing eye contact throughout the day. When talking with your child calmly and quietly say ” look at me” or “put your eyes on my eyes”. If this doesn’t work try ” I want to see your pretty eyes”. As a last resort you can always say “look at the bridge of my nose” and that will eventually lead to eye contact. The more you practice the easier eye contact will become. Enforce confidence in new situations by rehearsing conversation starters. You can rehearse simple things such as smiling , shaking hands and saying hello. Practice with puppets and dolls or a telephone …all great ways to rehearse and practice, helping your child to be more at ease is the goal. Try arranging one on one play time. A situation with one playmate will be much easier for the shy child to handle. Invite a friend over, turn off the tv to encourage conversation and playtime. Keep the playdate on the short side leaving your child happy and confident and wanting more. This is our last tip…..don’t label! Labeling your child “shy” is something that can and most likely will, stick with him or her for the rest of their life. If someone else labels your child as shy you can gently and calmly correct them by saying ” No, he just likes to watch first” . Smile at your child and show that you are proud of him or her no matter what! Written by: petiteposh

July 25, 2017

The Importance of Early Brain Development

As parents we want what is best for our children and want to teach and help them grow into successful, well-rounded adults. To achieve this we need to invest in the development of our children’s brains. The emotional, social and physical development of young children has a direct effect on their overall development and on the adult they will become. That is why understanding the need to invest in very young children is so important, so as to maximise their future well-being. Neurological research has shown that the early years play a vital role in the brain development of children. Babies start to learn about the world around them from a very early age and these first learning experiences deeply affect their future physical, emotional, social and cognitive development. These early learning experiences start just before and after birth already, so starting young is extremely important as optimizing and investing in your child’s early years sets them up for success later in life. According to James J. Heckman, a Nobel laureate and Director of the Centre for the Economics of Human Development at the University of Chicago, “Learning starts in infancy, long before formal education begins, and continues throughout life. Early learning begets later learning and early success breeds later success, just as early failure breeds later failure. As a society, we cannot afford to postpone investing in children until they become adults, nor can we wait until they reach school age – a time when it may be too late to intervene. The best evidence supports the policy prescription: invest in the very young and improve basic learning and socialising skills.” As parents we often don’t know how to optimally develop our children’s brains and the very dedicated spend hours researching on the internet. Skidz Clever Activity Boxes has done everything for you. The age ranges start from birth until five years and the program has been developed by four experts in early childhood development. It includes an easy to follow manual and the equipment used to do the many activities. Using the Skidz program gives you time to play and have fun with your child while they learn and develop, as well as the peace of mind knowing that you are doing age appropriate activities with them. You can follow Skidz on Facebook at www.facebook.com/skidzsa The website for more info and orders is http://skidz.co.za or email us at [email protected]

July 15, 2017

How to Choose a Safe Holiday Camp

Sending your kids to overnight camp can be nerve-racking if you’re going to be stressing about their safety. It’s important that you choose a camp that has trustworthy staff and safe facilities. To put your mind at ease, here are some suggested questions that you should ask concerning the safety policy of a sleepover camp for your kids: What is the ratio of staff to children? Staff ratios are very important. The higher the number of counselors to campers, the more supervised your children will be. A higher staff to child ratio means a more controlled environment and will ensure that your kids are getting the quality supervision and attention they require. How have the staff been trained? Your children should be in the care of staff that are at least qualified to render basic first aid, also known as Emergency First Response. You need to also question their psychological training in terms of how they would handle a case of bullying or homesickness at camp. What is the camp’s policy on parental contact during camp? A camp that is running ethically will not completely cut-off ties between parents and their children. The camp must allow some sort of contact between the campers and their parents during camp, like an occasional email home or a telephone line that allows parents to speak directly to their kids in a case of emergency. Some camps post pictures of the campers on their social media platforms so that parents can become a part of their children’s experiences too. Does the camp have a policy for screening visitors? A camp that places great emphasis on who can and who cannot enter the property is a camp that you can trust. Proper safety precautions should be implemented when visitors come to camp, such as CCTV surveillance and proper sign-in and sign-out facilities. Does the camp prevent two people from ever being alone together? According to the American Camp Association (ACA), it’s inappropriate for a camp employee to be alone and out of sight with a camper, as well as a camper to be alone with another camper regardless of gender. There should always be at least three people present in these rare cases of seclusion, and one of those people must be the child’s supervising counselor. This safety policy is commonly known as a “Buddy System”. Does the camp conduct background checks on staff and counselors? It is of utmost importance that the camp conducts background checks and a police clearance on their staff and counselors. This is vital as their employees will be working with children who are vulnerable and require safe and specialized care. Asking the right questions before selecting a camp will ensure your children are well cared for in a controlled and safe environment, and it will further help put your mind at ease while they are away from home.

July 15, 2017

5 Tips for finding a good holiday camp

The opportunity for your kids to gain new friends and a better sense of independence and maturity is best provided by a sleepover camp during the school holidays. These holiday camps are also called ‘summer camps’. There are a variety of sleepover camps available and choosing the right camp for your child’s interest is important if they are going to enjoy their school holidays. Despite the overwhelmingly wide selection of camps to choose from, camps that children are likely to enjoy do have a few things in common. When searching for a good holiday camp for your children, be sure to look for these 5 things: 1. Find a camp that is technology-free. A camp that doesn’t allow your kids to carry their mobile and gaming devices are usually the best option. These camps provide your children with a break away from technology and allow them to participate and gain the complete camp experience without any distractions. This will also allow your children to form new face-to-face friendships, which will often be the highlight of their experience. 2. Find a camp with an outdoor focus. It’s good to find a camp located in a natural environment. This will allow your children to enjoy the tranquility of being away from the bustling city life. In the past, summer camps used their natural settings and encouraged children to play in an outdoor environment. However, this is not always the case today as many camps are located in busy, urban environments such as college campuses. 3. Find a camp that has a flexible and age-appropriate program. Some summer camps have a fixed program structure and do not allow your child to choose what they would like to participate in. Since the majority of children do not enjoy being forced to do compulsory activities, you should try to find a camp that is flexible in this regard. As much as structured activities are great for balance and discipline, non-structured activities are great for freedom of expression and personal growth. You would also be wise to find out what sort of activities are on offer and whether these activities will be suitable for your child’s interests and age group. 4. Find a camp that practices environmental education. A camp that gets children involved with nature in a hands-on way is exactly what you should be looking for if you live in the city. These camps schedule a time where nature can be explored and discovered, creating the perfect opportunity for children to learn an appreciation for the environment. Exceptional camps promote recycling and always work towards reducing their environmental footprint and encourage children to do the same. 5. Find a camp that provides three good meals a day. It is essential that children are provided with good, nutritious meals three times a day. Some camps are criticized for failing to provide healthy meals for their campers. You need to ensure that the camp you choose follows a menu which is suitable for the healthy growth and development of your child, as well as food that your children will enjoy. Well-fed campers are always happy campers. A summer camp which checks all these boxes is a camp worth trying. As an added measure, you may also want to read the reviews on camps’ social media pages to make sure that other parents recommend your chosen camp. Once that’s done, your children are good to go and will very likely want to return for the next school holiday.

July 15, 2017

How camp helps shy and insecure children

One reason that many parents send their kids to a holiday camp like Sugar Bay is so that they can make new friends and become more confident in a safe and fun environment, without the added pressure that often comes from school or home. Evidently, many children have left Sugar Bay’s shores having received much personal benefit from their holiday experience. They share their stories below: Mvelo (High school student, Parktown): Sugar Bay changed my life forever. Before I came to Sugar Bay, I had a low self-esteem; I was anti-socialand never had any friends. I chose to rather be at home, indoors, rather than playing outside because I was afraid of socializingwith other kids as I felt like they would judge me. All of that began to change when I came to Sugar Bay, 10 years ago. I was inspired and encouraged to break out of my shell and socialize. Since then, I love coming back to Sugar Bay and making new friends. I’ve loved every single moment I’ve spent here at camp. Now, I have more confidence in myself. Basani (High school student, Lonehill): Sugar Bay has taught me that it’s okay to be me and that everyone at Sugar Bay is your friend. To this day, I am still friends with those girls from my first camp, as well as other camps I have been to thereafter. Today, I am a confident, open “social butterfly”, and I would be none of these things if it weren’t for Sugar Bay. Matej (High school student, Johannesburg): I used to be a shy personwho didn’t really have friendsand never wanted to participate in any activities. I always pretended to have a good time, but secretly, I wanted to be somewhere else. I used to have anger management issuesbut all of that changedwhen I came here. I hope to continue to teach the kids the lessons I was taught the first time I came to camp. Unlike other environments, holiday camps are specifically aimed at assisting children to overcome certain issues and to help them gain the skills they require to become confident and courageous individuals. If you are a parent with a shy and insecure child – a holiday camp at Sugar Bay is a good option to consider. The above testimonials reveal limited information about the reviewer in order to protect the privacy of the children. However, Sugar Bay’s Facebook Page boasts over 150 public reviews, which parents are encouraged to browse through if they are considering booking a camp.

July 15, 2017

5 Camp Games to Play at Home

Restricting the amount of time your kids spend with technology can be very challenging. The best way to do this, it to motivate them to participate in equally interesting activities that can be played outdoors. This is how holiday camps do it – they keep kids entertained with fun games outside so that they forget all about the TV, computer or cellphone inside! Here are 5 popular camp games that you can play with the kids at home: 1. Stalk the lantern Stalk the lantern is a game which was inspired by the army and typically played during the dark. Everyone needs to be dressed in black and have their faces painted, just as the soldiers camouflage themselves in the army. Divide the players into teams and select the same number as the teams to get representatives to form the lantern. The representatives are responsible for shining the flashlight on players in order to get them out of the game. The objective of the game is to get as close to the lantern as possible when the lights are out, without having the flashlight shine on you. 2. Capture the flag Capture the flag is a traditional outdoor game, where two teams each have a flag and the objective is to capture the other team’s flag. The flag is located at each team’s “base”. The teams would have to find the flag and bring it safely back to their own base. 3. Treasure Hunt The game of the pirates, as it’s commonly known, treasure hunts are a popular and also a very exciting game to play. The objective of the game is to find hidden “treasure”. The game could include searching for items, following clues as a group, or splitting into teams to race to a prize. You can be very creative with this game by creating maps as clues or using riddles that need to be solved, which makes it very interesting. 4. Minute-to-win-it Inspired by the television game show hosted by Guy Fieri, this game is basically a race against the clock, whereby contestants need to complete ten deceptively simple games to win the grand prize. The contestants have 60 seconds to complete each challenge, which increase in difficulty as the game progresses, or they are eliminated. 5. Fear Factor Also inspired by the television game show, Fear Factor is a very popular and interactive game at camp. A group of contestants are challenged to perform a number of terrifying and/or disgusting stunts. If a contestant refuses a challenge, fails in a challenge, or has the worst performance in a challenge, that contestant is eliminated from the competition. The contestant or team that manages to complete all of the stunts, including finishing the final stunt in the fastest time wins the game. These fun camp-inspired games will definitely bring the family together and keep everyone away from their devices.

July 15, 2017

Children Who Lie

There are several reasons why children tell lies. Child psychologists at the Sandton Psychology Centre in Johannesburg say that when deliberating children and lies it becomes necessary to separate when it is problematic and when it is not. Everybody lies sometimes (even adults) and practically all parents will attest that children lie, perhaps not how adults understand a lie, but nonetheless, by stretching the truth, hiding facts, embellishing stories and denying the obvious. Children under 5 years of age will, and do have difficulty differentiating between reality and fantasy. Time and again children’s fantasy and imaginative worlds can offer more satisfaction than reality does. In addition, their wishes and reality are the same thing. Although they may know that lying is not a good thing to do they do not have self-awareness that they’re doing something wrong. Children aren’t born with a set of value systems; they have to be taught the difference between right and wrong behaviour. The major reasons children lie include the following: Watch out for any underlying difficulties such as ADD/ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder or Conduct Disorder. These disorders can be very serious and would have to be treated accordingly. Children with ADD/ADHD for example, do tend to be impulsive and as such may tell lies impulsively, that is without thinking about the consequences. Children who lie can be fearful or scared of getting into trouble. Sometimes they may feel that the consequences of being truthful results in much punishment, lectures, discipline or shouting from parents. It is therefore ‘better’ telling lies and avoiding all of that. Children may lie to not take responsibility for their behaviour, to cover up areas they are struggling with (for example, lying about schoolwork and homework may be a way to cover some underlying difficulty), or hide painful feelings. Adolescents may lie as a way to protect their privacy or to cover up embarrassment or feelings of inadequacy. When dealing with children who lie it is best to determine and address the underlying causes of lying. If we condemn and label children as ‘liars’ we run the risk of getting into a pattern of negativity where the lies don’t subside or become habitual. As a parent, encourage the truth. Be willing to listen and refrain from shaming and punishing the child. Rather work together to find a solution to the problem. If difficulties with lying continue contact a child psychologist at the Sandton Psychology Centre in Johannesburg. The psychologist will be able to determine if there are underlying causes to the lying and what is bothering the child on an emotional level. The child psychologist will work closely with the parents and caregivers to find a healthier way of communicating and dealing with the child’s painful feelings and inappropriate behaviour.

July 9, 2017

Why sleep is important?

Every function in the body is affected by sleep. And for a child, the risks of sleep deprivation are much more serious than simply waking up in a grumpy mood. Research shows that children with sleep disturbances have more medical problems – such as allergies, ear infections, and hearing problems. They are also more likely to have social and emotional problems. Sleep is as important as nutrition and exercise. It’s when the body repackages neurotransmitters, chemicals that enable brain cells to communicate. 1. Sleep promotes growth – Growth hormone is primarily secreted during deep sleep. 2. Sleep helps the heart. 3. Sleep affects weight – There’s increasing evidence that getting too little sleep causes kids to become overweight, starting in infancy. 4. Sleep helps beat germs – During sleep, children (and adults) also produce proteins known as cytokines, which the body relies on to fight infection, illness, and stress. 5. Sleep reduces injury risk – Kids are clumsier and more impulsive when they don’t get enough sleep, setting them up for accidents. 6. Sleep increases kids’ attention span – Children who consistently sleep fewer than ten hours a night before age 3 are three times more likely to have hyperactivity and impulsivity problems by age 6. 7. Sleep boosts learning – Sleep aids learning in kids of all ages, and education experts are finding that naps have a particular magic. The simple fact is that kids sleep less today than they used to. And unless we make an effort to get that sleep time back, their health will suffer.

June 9, 2017

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