Advice from the experts
Munchkins

Green and Red Lights on the Road of Raising Siblings

Few things in life are equally as delightful as they are demanding. Having – and raising – siblings is one such a hybrid happening. Here are a couple of “traffic lights” (or common daily themes) on this complicated journey of taking care of more than one creature – as well as the politics between them. Should you stop or proceed? At the traffic light of ownership In a home with multiple minors, everything from parents’ attention, space on the couch, toys and food must be shared – often not without a battle. Green Light: Teach sharing Nothing imposes sharing on a poor little child like the arrival of a sibling! This is a good thing. Encourage your brood from a young age to be generous and to think of others’ needs. Let them experience the joy of altruism by highlighting things like, “Doesn’t it make you feel good to see how happy you made your brother?” or, “See how nice it is to play together!” Red Light: Prohibiting individual ownership However, there is a case to be made for personal possession. A child whose toys are always snatched, food always stolen or opportunities always ruined by a sibling will not walk away with a healthy sense for sharing. It may instead produce anxiety and self-defensiveness that could trigger the contrary of sharing: self-absorption and stinginess. Ensure that no child is being bullied in the name of “sharing”. Consider having a “special possession box” for each child, containing a couple of items that he is not required to share unwillingly. At the traffic light of nurturing Loving and disciplining your children (which, by the way, are two sides of the same coin) become less straight-forward when you are surrounded by multiple personalities, developmental stages and demands. Red light: Unfair treatment Each child warrants an equal amount of loving care from you – regardless whether they “deserve” it or not. Favouritism and being inconsequential with rules or consequences among siblings could do great harm. Green light: Differential treatment Being fair, however, does not mean that you should deal with every child in exactly the same way. Each one of your little ones is unique and may have different love needs and different temperaments. It will, therefore, require a special strategy to raise each one of them. Make sure you know how to reach each one individually. At the traffic light of conflict Among plenty of other new titles, you gain the one of “referee” when you become a parent of more than one. Managing quarrels is an inevitable part of the job. Green light: Assist in conflict management Older or stronger children can easily undermine more vulnerable ones. To protect the latter and guide the former to use their power in uplifting ways, you will often need to get involved. Teach them positive ways to handle conflicting interests (e.g. to take turns) and negative emotions, such as anger (e.g. counting to ten). Also, your own example in dealing with conflict (especially with your spouse!) will speak very loudly on your behalf. Red light: Constant interference On the other hand, always intervening in your children’s battles may thwart their development. Allow them room, in the safe and supervised space of your home, to practice the skills you have taught them. “Debriefing” an incident is sometimes more beneficial than stepping in amid the heat. At the traffic light of rivalry Siblings are natural competitors, and the supportive childhood home could be a beautiful training ground for the big bad contest that is adult life. Red light: Comparison Never compare one child’s performance, behaviour or appearance with another’s. Be careful what you discuss “behind their backs” – little ears can hear remarkably well! Encourage and develop each child’s unique talents and strengths. Green light: Allow winning and losing Being better or worse than others are an inevitable part of life and there is little use in protecting a child against this truth. Celebrate each child’s successes – even if they are more accomplished than a sibling. Make them feel like they are part of one another’s victories by cheering one another on in the home. Moreover, if someone loses – help her overcome her negative emotions rather than always awarding a “fake win”. An essential foundation of good sportsmanship is knowing your value as a person apart from your performance – something which almost nobody can impart to you like your parents can. Although it is hard work to be a mother to many, the value that those one-of-a-kind sibling relationships add to your own and your children’s lives make the journey totally worth the effort!

Parenting Hub

Food’s influence on childhood behaviour and learning

Worldwide, allergies are on the rise, and in South Africa a staggering 40% of sufferers are children, according to the Allergy Foundation of South Africa – affecting quality of life and learning potential. The problem, and solution, to common allergy symptoms, says world-renowned nutrition expert Patrick Holford, is diet. “One in three children with behavioural problems have allergic reactions to foods. Other than overt physical reactions, individual food allergies can affect thought processing and cause irritability, agitation, aggressive behaviour, nervousness, anxiety, ADHD, autism, hyperactivity and learning disabilities,” says Holford. A trial study conducted by Dr Joseph Egger, head of the Pediatric University Hospital in Munich, Germany, and his team in 1985, which studied hyperactive children to find out whether diet could contribute to behavioural disorders, found that 79% of the children participating reacted adversely to artificial food colourings and preservatives, but also found that different foods produced the same symptoms in different individuals. “In the 1980s, researchers found plenty of evidence that allergies affect any system in the body and are behind a diverse range of symptoms, yet this research has largely been ignored since,” says Holford. Patrick Holford is a pioneer in new approaches to health and nutrition, specialising in the field of mental health. Having suffered throughout his childhood and adolescence with migraines, sinus infections and ear infections, Holford sought a solution and discovered that his troubles were due to milk and yeast allergies. “The truth is that the majority of people are likely to suffer for years not knowing that they have an allergy – but also not knowing how to treat it,” says Holford. Not to be confused with an intolerance or sensitivity, an allergy is an exaggerated physical reaction to a substance where the immune system is involved. As our personal defence system, the immune system releases chemicals when it comes across a substance it doesn’t like. The chemicals released by the immune system in response to an allergy result in symptoms such as mood-, attention-, memory- and intellectual impairments, as well as behavioural problems, overt physical ailments and delayed reactions that make pinpointing the allergy difficult. Other symptoms of a food allergy include nausea, cramps, flatulence, fatigue, throat trouble, sweating, skin rashes, acne and boils, migraines, apathy and confusion, depression, and paranoia. “The good news is that you can grow out of most food allergies and reduce your child’s allergic potential,” says Holford. According to Holford, the best way to prevent and reduce allergic potential in your child is to stick to the following dietary guidelines: Completely remove wheat and dairy products from their diet for a month or so and see if their symptoms improve. Have an IgG ELISA food allergy test done and see a nutritional therapist. Improve your child’s digestion by including plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables and seeds in their diet. Ensure you keep antibiotics and painkillers to a minimum, as they damage the digestive tract. Include fish in their diet to ensure that they are getting sufficient Omega 3 oil, Zinc and Vitamin A. Avoid foods containing chemical food additives. The most common ones to look out for are aspartame, tartrazine and MSG. Eat whole, natural foods as much as possible. Choose organic food (free from pesticide residues).   For further information on food allergies, nutrition and childhood behavioural problems, visit www.holforddirect.co.za.

Parenting Hub

Surfing with Smiles

We sat down with the Sugar Bay surfing PC (Pro Counselor), Smiles, on his surfing journey and who he thinks would win in a fight between Steven Seagal and Jean Claude van Damme. Real name Grant Anderson, was born in Johannesburg, Gauteng and went to North Cliff primary school before the Anderson tribe moved to sunny Durban in 2009. The surfing bug bit him at just 10 years old and he has never looked back. As a past camper at the Bay, he loved the positive influence the counselors had on him. “I felt like I could be myself, I was exposed to the one thing I love most in the world and I was surrounded by the most amazing people.” Wanting to shine that light on someone else, in 2016, he joined our C.I.T (Counselors in Training) course where he had goals to become the surfing PC and the counselor he had always wanted to be. What’s your favourite part about teaching children how to surf?  “Just being able to share my passion with someone, who either have been surfing or wants to learn how to surf. It allows me to be a part of their journey and to see them grow is such a privilege.”  What childhood memory do you have of surfing?  “Standing on a board I still have today and catching a wave on my own for the very first time.”  What type of kid do you think your teachers would say you were at school?  “Definitely a leader, I was also a good example and a role model to the younger pupils.” What’s the one thing people don’t know about you?  (Shrugs) ” hahahahaha. I honestly don’t know.” Between Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude van Damme, who do you think would win the fight? “Steven Seagal any day!” 

Parenting Hub

Curating your career starts in school

Teenagers are accustomed to curating their personal image on social media. They select what to share, who to tag and how to display their interests and activities in a snapshot, or a few hash tags. The next step for Generation Z, those born after 1995, is to start curating their career. Whether preparing to apply for a competitive university programme or starting an entrepreneurial venture, there is great value in starting to think about how to express one’s professional interests from an early age. “Your extra-curricular activities during high school help you stand out from the crowd when applying for universities, especially top-ranked international ones,” says Duncan Parsons, Regional Manager for Crimson Education, a mentoring company that helps build high-schoolers’ candidacy to apply for universities in the States and United Kingdom. “Admissions boards are looking for well-rounded candidates with interesting personal stories – not just top marks.” A report by brand management specialists, QWERTY found that nearly 70% of South Africans’ weekly activities are spent on social media channels. Growing up with the internet, Gen Zs have become accustomed to plugging hours into Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. They’re great at capturing their personal image online; which brands they associate with and which moments they share. Applying some of this time and skill to thinking about their careers can be hugely beneficial for when they finish school. “Demonstrating a variety of skills and interests is a crucial part of an applicant’s success. Universities are increasingly interested in personal stories and motivations,” says Parsons. Crimson Education’s research indicates that about 30% of an application to an American university is based on activities outside of academic curricula; “Colleges look for and fund students who demonstrate that they’ll use the university’s resources to the fullest – they want to see initiative and the potential to become a leader in your field.” Teachers, parents and school counsellors also play an important role in encouraging students to explore exciting career and study opportunities; “With the right guidance and support, students can start a small business or launch a social initiative before they even matriculate. Doing so will help them refine their interests and ultimately select the best fit programme at university, regardless of whether they study locally or abroad,” says Parsons. A great university education, at an institution with leading research groups, lecturers and students from around the world can be a powerful starting point for future change makers. According to Parsons, landing that opportunity is challenging, but not impossible, for driven South African students who apply their finely tuned social media curating skills to their careers. Crimson Education launched in South Africa earlier this year, making the company operational in 17 cities around the world. Parsons and his team regularly host information evenings for parents and learners interested in studying overseas and have recently introduced a career exploration service. For more information, visit www.crimsoneducation.org or email [email protected].

Parenting Hub

Maths Matter: Why it’s worth sticking it out when the going gets tough

In senior high school, the Mathematics syllabus becomes more challenging than ever, and many learners may be tempted to ditch the subject in favour of something less taxing, particularly if they intend to pursue a career that ostensibly doesn’t require Maths. But an expert advises learners and parents to think very carefully before doing so, as a solid grounding in the subject can make a lifelong difference not only to one’s career prospects, but also to those areas of life which seemingly have nothing to do with numbers. “At school we are told regularly that if we do not keep Mathematics as a subject we will not gain access to a Commerce or Science degree of our choice.  What we often do not hear is that apart from providing access to limited enrolment degrees, sticking with Maths provides important life skills and a competitive advantage you won’t find anywhere else,” says Aaron Koopman, Head of Programme: Faculty of Commerce at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider. Koopman says that even those learners opting for Maths Literacy should continue to take the mathematical steps and processes seriously, as a solid grounding in Maths truly sets one up for life. “Maths teaches you so much – from the memory and recall skills you gained from learning your times tables, to the focus and concentration that mental arithmetic calculations strengthen, through to the most important skills of all related logic, reason and problem-solving,” he says. “Sure, you may never have to solve a quadratic equation again if you pursue a career in communication, but you will be required to understand a problem and the correct sequence of steps required to solve it, and there is no better place to get that discipline and expertise than from Maths.” Koopman says Maths also enables you to understand sequencing and planning – starting at the right point and working methodically to get the right answer. And when it does not work out the way it should, it is one’s mathematical and analytical skills that help you to work through each step and figure out why things did not turn out the way they should have. “Furthermore, Mathematics is believed to encourage creativity. Not only does it teach clear and sensible thought, but it exposes learners to challenging concepts and unresolved problems. Through this experience, learners can apply themselves in resolving these problems, often in a creative manner.” It is also now well understood that nature follows many mathematical rules – and proportion, balance and pattern are all mathematical concepts, notes Koopman. “That balance between creative freedom and leveraging the repetitive sequence of patterns that results in things humans see as beautiful is at the heart of much art that has continued to appeal over the centuries. “Maths also helps you develop persistence as you apply and discard solutions while trying to make sense of a problem.  Maths is the bridge between the world we live in – think of the ‘story sums’ we started in our early grades – and the creative and brilliant solutions that lie behind the world’s best inventions.” And very importantly, companies are increasingly looking for graduates with powerful thinking and troubleshooting capacity – just the competencies that are developed and nurtured through mathematics. “A young person who is mathematically proficient and has honed these skills will find that the world of work is a flexible and engaging space where how you learn is recognised as so much more valuable than what you learned.  From understanding numbers and statistics – the ‘hard skills’ that Maths gives you – to applying systematic and logical reasoning or solving a human resource problem, a mind that has been exercised by Maths will reach strong conclusions quickly and have the skills to test itself,” Koopman says. “The systematic nature of Mathematics develops clear and coherent thought of students. This results in the ability to understand how and why things work in a certain way. In a business environment that is characterised by constant change, the analysis of one’s environment becomes fundamentally important and through Mathematics, analytical skills and critical thinking is promoted. Mathematics equips learners with the ability to be proactive, detect problems and to develop suitable solutions earlier, which provides a competitive advantage regardless of one’s field.” As we move into the fourth industrial revolution, in which technological innovation is at the forefront, graduates who did not necessarily study Maths but retained an engagement and respect for it will be well positioned to propel their organisations and respective divisions in the right direction, says Koopman. Additionally, anyone leading a team or department regardless of industry will need to be financially literate and able to manage sometimes substantial budgets. “Therefore we encourage learners to persevere and if necessary get additional help to master Maths, even if they feel they may not ‘need’ Maths in future. Regardless of what you are planning to do career-wise, a solid grounding in Maths will empower you for the rest of your life,” Koopman says.

RediscoverDairy

Why breakfast really is the best way to start your day

The importance of breakfast has long been a part of the prevailing wisdom, and the habit of eating breakfast has always been a marker of a healthy lifestyle.  Yet, if there’s a meal that is going to be skipped, it’s probably breakfast; and this is a pity because research clearly shows that there are many vital health benefits associated with eating breakfast regularly.  Studies show that 1 in 5 South African children skip breakfast. For the first time, a broad coalition of health partners including leading non-profit organisations, health professional associations as well the National and Provincial Departments of Health, have aligned National Nutrition Week (9 – 15 October 2018) with National Obesity Week (15 – 19 October 2018) to promote a shared and very important message that eating breakfast is the best way to start your day. After our longest fast, a healthy breakfast kick-starts the metabolism, lights up mental functioning and boosts physical energy on a day-to-day basis.  However, the health benefits of breakfast are not just experienced over the short-term.  Studies show that eating a healthy breakfast regularly over the long term helps to reduce risks of heart disease and stroke, high blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes.  This correlates with studies that show that children, adolescents and adults who eat healthy breakfasts regularly have better, sustainable weight outcomes and are at a lower risk of becoming overweight and obesity. “It is ironic that one of the common reasons for skipping breakfast is the desire to lose weight when it has the opposite effects,” says Rebone Ntsie, Director: Nutrition at the National Department of Health.  “The lack of breakfast leads to a far greater risk of compensating with unhealthy snacks to get through to lunchtime and with bigger lunch portions.”  Ntsie points outs that, according to the 2016 South Africa Demographic and Health Survey, 68% of women and 31% of men in South Africa are overweight or obese. Life-threatening, severe obesity affects around 20% of women and 3% of men.  Approximately 13.3% of children under 5 years of age are overweight or obese; and according to the 2012 South African Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (SANHANES), 14.2% children aged 6 to 14 years are overweight or obese. CEO of the Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa, Professor Pamela Naidoo says: “At least 80% of early deaths caused by heart disease and stroke can be avoided by following a healthy diet, which includes eating a healthy breakfast, in combination with regular physical activity and avoiding the use of tobacco.  It is important to understand how the food choices we make contribute to overweight and obesity.” Many South Africans consume large amounts of sugary drinks and eat a lot of  convenience foods that are typically high in sugar and fats.  There’s also a common preference for highly refined starchy foods over those that are minimally processed and healthier.  Taking in too much food energy from nutrient-poor foods leads to weight gain. However, making poor food choices is not the only issue.  Professor Naidoo points out that our modern lifestyles easily lead to ‘portion distortion’.  “Large portion size is also a major contributor to weight gain whether people eat out or at home,” she says. “With a gradual increase in the amount of food being purchased and served ready cooked, many people can no longer recognise the size of a healthy portion.”   Lack of knowledge and poor food choices lead to unhealthy diets, which are a risk factor for non-communicable diseases.  Dr Christine Taljaard-Krugell, ADSA (Association for Dietetics in South Africa) President, points out the importance of engaging with a registered dietitian to help make healthy breakfasts a habit for the whole family.  “Other reasons so many South Africans skip breakfast include food not being available, it not being a family routine, time pressure in the mornings, not feeling hungry or not liking typical breakfast foods.  From food budgeting to menu planning and meal preparation, there are solutions to all these issues.  Information and help are available.” What should a healthy breakfast consist of? Breakfast should consist of at least one food group (excluding beverages). However, to stay fuller for longer and improve the variety of nutrients you take in at breakfast, it helps to include foods from three or more food groups. A rule of thumb is to choose a minimally processed starchy food combined with a food from at least one of the following groups: vegetables or fruit dry beans, lentils, split peas, soya fish, chicken, lean meat or eggs milk, maas or yoghurt plant oils, soft margarine, peanut butter In addition, it is important to drink clean safe water instead of a sugary drink. The ‘breakfast is the best way to start the day’ campaign offers some key messages to inspire making a healthy breakfast a long-lasting habit and family routine: Be ‘breakfast ready’ and beat the morning rush – Breakfast doesn’t have to be a big production – with some planning and preparation, it can be quick and easy.  Before you go to bed at night, set up your kitchen for breakfast.  Soak the oats and slice the fruit so you don’t have to do it in the morning. Cook extra maize meal porridge for the next day’s breakfast when making supper, or boil some eggs the night before.  Make it healthy and enjoyable – “It’s easier to make breakfast a daily habit if you enjoy it,” says Carol Browne of the Nutrition Society of South Africa (NSSA).  “While our cultures may define what breakfast foods are, there are really no hard and fast rules.  It doesn’t matter whether you eat the same things as others for breakfast – it just matters that you have a healthy start to the day.  This means having a minimally processed starchy food, as part of the meal, and combining it with food from at least one other food group.” For example, maize meal porridge with maas and an apple; brown bread with pilchards and sliced tomato; Last

Parenting Hub

Empower your children to deal with a crisis

Parents have been urged to empower their children to know how to respond to any crisis or act of criminality, in the wake of at least three kidnappings reported in and around Cape Town in recent days. Schools have reportedly also issued related warnings to parents. “As parents and guardians, it is our responsibility to not only educate our children about safety but to also give them the necessary tools to deal with a crisis.  While we certainly don’t want our children to live in fear, we do need to have frank conversations about what to do when things go wrong,” explains Mr Jade Hanning, Cape Town South district manager at Fidelity ADT. There are simple actions, he says, which can often keep a child safe. Hanning also reminds parents to constantly reinforce general safety tips for children: They must always walk to or from school with a friend or friends. Stick to streets they know and never take short cuts through quiet areas or empty parking lots and never walk with cell phones and iPads in full view. If they get picked up at school, they should never leave the premises but always wait inside the school grounds for their lift to arrive. They must never get into a stranger’s car; even if the stranger claims that someone they love is hurt and that they have been sent to pick them up. Remind them that you would never send someone they don’t know to fetch them. Consider using a password system. If the person coming to collect you from school cannot repeat the password you and your child agreed on, they should not get into the car but immediately ask for help. If a stranger approaches them, they should not talk to them no matter how friendly they may seem. If someone tries to grab them, they need to fight, kick and shout out that the person is not their mom or dad. If your child does encounter any suspicious activity, encourage them to get a good look and memorise their physical details and clothing, as well as the vehicle they are in. Listen for any names or other details that might help identify them later. Make sure your children memorise their full names, address and phone number. Using a play phone, teach them when and how to dial 10111. Quite simply, the same rules that apply to adults need to be instilled in children, says Hanning. He also urged parents and caregivers to immediately raise the alarm if their children are missing, so that authorities can be deployed to assist.

Trinity House

How to help your child overcome peer pressure

Merriam-Webster defines peer pressure as: “A feeling that one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group in order to be liked or respected by them.” Children of all ages experience peer pressure. Most people think peer pressure is a bad thing (stealing, smoking, taking drugs, drinking alcohol); however, some peer pressure can be good. Your child wants to be liked and to do the right thing. As a parent, you can help your child deal with peer pressure and make good choices at every age and stage. Welcome positive peer pressure. If another child is pushing your child toward something better, that is a good thing. It might help your child socially or academically. For example, it might encourage your child to participate in the school talent show or rugby trials. Understand negative peer pressure. Your child wants to fit in, doesn’t want to feel rejected or teased, and isn’t sure how to get out of a bad situation. Start early by preparing your young child for peer pressure. When they are in preschool, tell them not to copy silly or bad behaviour. For example, if a friend or classmate pressures them to take something that doesn’t belong to them, teach them how to say “no” and walk away. As your child goes through preparatory school, talk with them about smoking, drugs, and alcohol. Peers pressure kids to sneak out of the house, bunk school, drive without a license (or ride with an underage driver), steal, vandalise property, and cheat, too. Give your child ideas of what to say when pressured. Practice this “role playing” often. This helps your child get out of a bad situation. Tell your child they can blame you if they need to get out of a bad situation. Give your child a special code word to say or text you if they can’t get out of a situation on their own. This will signal that they need help. Share your family values. It’s important to let your child know how you feel about stealing, cheating, bullying, and more. When a child knows something is wrong, they will think twice before agreeing to do it. Encourage your child to feel good about him or herself. Celebrate their achievements and praise them when they make good choices. Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to resist negative peer pressure. The same is true with friendships. Children who have friends whose families share your values are more likely to resist negative peer pressure. Monitor your child’s friendships (in-person and online).  There may be a day when your child makes a bad choice because peer pressure. When this happens, remain calm. It’s a good opportunity to teach your child about choices and having the courage to say no. Negative peer pressure can have a downward spiral effect. This means that pressure to commit small wrongs can lead to more serious bad behaviour. For example, if your child is easily pressured to take things that don’t belong to him, he or she might one day agree to experiment with shoplifting.  Don’t forget that the media and internet are forms of peer pressure. What your children hear and see on TV and online can influence your child’s choices. Monitor these influences by: Limiting your child’s exposure to TV and the internet. Consider your child’s age and other responsibilities (homework, job, family time) to decide on how much time he or she should be allowed to watch TV or explore the internet. Monitoring what your child watches or views on the internet. You can see your child’s internet search history on a computer. You also can check your child’s phone to see what apps he or she has downloaded. Require your child to provide his or her passwords in return for the privilege of accessing TV and digital media. Learning more about the music your child listens to. Some song lyrics can send powerful, negative messages. Watching TV or searching the internet together. This gives you an opportunity reinforce your family values. It also gives you an opportunity to sort out fact from fiction on certain things (drugs, alcohol, pregnancy, etc.). Securing your home’s TV and online devices. Most cable, internet, and cell phone providers have parent control settings that restrict inappropriate material from children.  Monitoring your child’s electronic use at their friend’s homes or when friends bring electronic devices to your home (laptops, tablets, phones). Tell your child what is and what is not allowed. written by Ria van Niekerk – Deputy Principal Trinityhouse Preparatory Randpark Ridge 

CAMI

Should toddlers be exposed to technology?

By Anne-Marie Reed Watching your two-year-old princess swiping effortlessly through the apps on your iPad does not necessarily imply that she’s ready to be exposed to technology. That said, it is natural for toddlers in their explorative phase to prefer playing with tech toys over traditional toys and games. Traditional toys and games all have one feature in common – the child needs to engage with them in order to give them any entertainment value. Engagement implies that the child has to make them work, they don’t just provide entertainment by pressing a button. In addition, traditional games require a fair amount of creativity and personalisation, whereas most digital games are pre-set; creativity lies in the hands of the programmers. A comparison between a lifeless box of wooden puzzle pieces and Candy Crush on your phone should explain this point sufficiently.  The “good” stuff always requires more effort. We know this from all sectors of our lives: health, fitness, relationships, etc. But does this mean that we should keep those tiny, inquisitive hands off our digital devices?  Research reveals that parents mainly use technology, including television, as a babysitter when the going gets tough. As a parent myself, with vivid memories of those incredibly rewarding (and exhausting) times with two toddlers, I understand this completely. The question, however, remains: is it damaging for children between the ages of one and six years old to be exposed to technology? Dr Michelle Ponti, a paediatrician and chair of the Digital Health task force at the CPS, reported that, based on recent research in Canada, children under two years old should not be getting any screen time at all, while children between the ages of two and five should be limited to a maximum of two hours a day – and that includes television time. Once you start searching for research reports on this topic, you realise that the question is not necessarily whether young children should be exposed to technology, but rather, why you would want to share your tech gadgets with your toddler. So, before exposing your toddler to technology, consider the following:  Children should have a screen time limit, based on age. A maximum of two hours screen time per day is a good general guideline for toddlers.  Technology steals the time your child should be using to explore, create, craft, or for imaginary play. You cannot replace this time at a later stage – if your child missed out on these activities as a toddler, it cannot be caught up when he or she is older. Screen time can be divided between education and entertainment. However, to do this successfully, you must ask yourself why you want your child to sit in front of the television instead of playing with his toys. Is it to learn something? Or is it to keep him entertained without breaking anything or hurting himself? Incorporating educational digital content, such as interactive digital storybooks, where the child can hear the correct pronunciation of certain words, can be very advantageous. Another good example of a locally developed digital program for kids from the age of four, is the CAMI Perceptual Skills Builder. This program addresses basic perceptual skills such as colour, shape, spatial orientation, retention and quantity in both English and Afrikaans. Technology can be a useful tool to actively spend family time together as it serves as a platform for parents to play age appropriate games with their children while actually having fun themselves. We know that the best time spent with children is when you enter their arena, not when you invite them into yours.  Exposing toddlers to technology before the age of two is not recommended. As they get older, however, the true value of technology for toddlers lies in shared experiences with parents, whether that is to read an interactive book or build a shelter in Minecraft together!  When in doubt about allowing technology in your toddler’s life, keep in mind that the playful learning and cognitive development that happens when a little girl dresses her doll before they visit the queen for a tea party, cannot be regained at a later stage. 

SciBuddy

Foldscope – When paper art and science meet.

A paper microscope that will change the way children learn about science. As a rule, microscopes are expensive, delicate instruments. Certainly not a suitable toy for an eight-year-old and probably the last thing parents would think of giving to a child. But what about a microscope made from paper that costs around R40? A microscope that is water-resistant, tough, and small enough to fit in a shirt pocket, or slotted into a book? Enter the Foldscope, an innovative piece of equipment that is set to change the way science is taught at school and at home. Most schools in South Africa are not lucky enough to have a single microscope, let alone one for each child. And most children never have the opportunity to use a microscope or to freely explore what the inventor of Foldscope calls the “microcosmos”. It is an accepted fact that children learn best through experiences rather than instruction, and hands-on activities form a critical part of experiential learning. Experiential learning also stimulates the imagination, inspires curiosity, and nurtures a love for learning in general. How can we expect our children to be excited about science when it is inaccessible, and its education is usually one-dimensional? One of the reasons that South African schools perform consistently poorly in maths and science is a lack of access to appropriate equipment and materials. Now imagine what could happen if every child had access to a microscope, or even better, their OWN microscope. Before the invention of the Foldscope, this was a near impossibility for the majority of South African schools.  What about a microscope at home? Picture yourself exploring the garden with your child, collecting flowers or insects, and studying them using the Foldscope. Even something as simple as examining the difference between salt or sugar crystals could be a fun and educational activity. For homeschoolers, a tool like the Foldscope is invaluable to enhance their studies. By motivating our children to spend time in and interacting with nature, the Foldscope could also provide a way to reduce the time spent in front of a screen. A Foldscope starts out as a flat sheet of plastic-coated paper, precut into shapes that are folded and slotted together to form a fully functioning microscope. Its magnification is similar to the microscopes found in classrooms and research laboratories, meaning it can easily magnify plant and animal cells, insect parts like wings or eyes, pollen, hair and follicles, a variety of microorganisms, algae, red blood cells, and larvae; the list is endless. As long as a sample can fit on a standard microscope slide, it can be viewed with a Foldscope. One of its most attractive features is the ability to couple with the camera on a cell phone or tablet. This gives children the opportunity to take photos and videos and to share their findings with friends, parents, and teachers. By attaching the Foldscope to a cell phone’s flash, the image can also be projected onto a screen.  Teachers all over the world are starting to see the fantastic possibilities for getting children excited about science, biology, and engineering. In the United States and India, Foldscopes are now regularly used in the science classroom.  South African schools, especially resource-poor schools, could also certainly benefit from having these devices in the classroom. In fact, if we hope to ever compete with the rest of the world in terms of science and maths, tools like the Foldscope are essential. Foldscopes come in kits of 20 or 100 basic units, perfect for classroom use. To keep the costs down, these kits also come with a limited number of accessories that are to be shared among learners. Sales of Deluxe individual kits, including an extensive set of accessories for home use, partially subsidize the classroom kits.  SciBuddy, a new player in the field of scientific educational materials, is the exclusive distributor of Foldscopes in South Africa. The owner, Arista Burke, has a background in microbiology and education and believes that Foldscopes will be a gamechanger for South African schools. “For the first time, giving every child in SA access to a microscope is a real possibility. The schools that realize the potential of this tool are going to have a definite edge going forward”, says Arista. SciBuddy wants every school to have at least one set of Foldscopes. To make this possible, they are donating one kit to an underprivileged school for every 20 kits sold.  To find out more about SciBuddy and Foldscope, visit www.scibuddy.co.za or their Facebook page, SciBuddySA. 

Mia Von Scha

Why We Should Replace Time-Outs With Time-Ins

I realize that parents are frustrated with a lack of options with regards to disciplining their children. First we’re told no spanking, then no naughty corners, what next? What I’m hoping to do here is to help you to see that us parent-educators are not trying to limit your options but rather to give you alternatives that will actually work. My plan is to explain to you why time-outs don’t work, and what exactly you can do instead. This is not a short-term solution. Yes, spanking and time-outs can work in the short term to quiet a screaming child or stop some misbehaviour in its tracks. But they don’t work in the long run and end up causing you way more problems further down the line when your children are not small enough to pick up and remove from the scene if necessary! Time-outs don’t work because they don’t take into account the real reasons behind cooperation. Children cooperate because they care. They have amazing adults in their lives and they want to be like them and get their approval and most of all make sure that they retain their love. Time-outs don’t just reject the behavior; they also reject the child. This serves to break down the very relationships that would have fostered cooperation in the long run. When a child is in a time-out, I absolutely guarantee you that they are not thinking about the wrongness of their behavior, what they can do to make amends, or how they can improve in the future. What they are thinking about is either how much they hate you and how they can get revenge, or how much they hate themselves and what a terrible, unworthy human being they are.  I don’t think any of us want children who hate themselves or us. This is not the route to long-term cooperation. Misbehaviour is always a form of communication. And most often this communication is around themes such as not feeling loved, heard or understood. Even our most hardened criminals are people who have or do feel blamed, shamed, abused, neglected, unloved and lacking in confidence.  People who behave well are those who feel confident, secure, loved, at ease, and who know how to meet heir needs in positive ways. That is what we’re trying to nurture in our kids. What we need to start doing instead of time-outs, are time-ins. Time-ins are a special time of connecting with our children that happen when they are upset and acting out, but also happen in the in between times. We can have a special chair or space in our homes where we go to cuddle, connect, chat, and breathe together. The idea is to connect deeply and nurture your child. It is to make sure that your child feels safe and heard and knows that they are loved regardless of their behaviour in the moment. In time-ins, you will sit with your child, holding them close (if they’re open to that) and just being calm and at ease yourself. If your child is having a tantrum, you need to be the calm in the storm… not part of the storm. So breathe. You don’t need to force your child to focus on their breathing – just do it yourself. Make sure you are calm and centred and ok. And then allow whatever emotion your child is having to come and then to pass. Be patient. You are not trying to calm the child down. You are simply allowing the storm of emotion to have its time and then go. This quiet presence communicates to your child that you are not afraid of them or their emotions, that you are calm and present even when things get rough, that all emotions are acceptable, that your child is loved no matter what. Then, eventually, when your child has calmed down again, you can chat about what happened and how he/she felt and you can brainstorm what you can do in future if behaviour needs to be limited. You can also make your child aware of anything he/she can do to make amends if someone was hurt or something was broken. Children who understand what to do to fix a situation don’t need to carry around the guilt of wrongdoing. During this time-in, you can also reflect on what might have brought your child to this point and if there is anything you can do to prevent this in future. Can you pre-empt problems like hunger, boredom, stress or tiredness that may have contributed to the meltdown? Can you be more present with them so that you can contain any physical acting out before it begins?  The focus, always, is on how to build your relationship. Children’s behaviour is never a personal attack on you, or an attempt to make your life more difficult. They are just communicating in the best way that they know how with their limited knowledge of the world, language, societal expectations, and an undeveloped pre-frontal cortex.  What “bad” behavior needs is more love not less. What tantrums need is more calm, not less. What aggression needs is more closeness, not less. What cheekiness needs is more adult modeling of great communication, not less. When we respond to our children with love, empathy, patience, care and understanding, we are teaching them how to behave in the world. We are teaching them their own worth and how to value worth in other human beings (no matter their size or status). When we have time-ins instead of time-outs we show children that even though we all have strong emotions and behaviours there is enough love and forgiveness in the world to make things right again. 

Impaq

Number sense- the root of mathematics

Number sense essentially refers to a learner’s ability to use numbers in relation to one another, i.e. they can recognise number symbols and relate it to the actual number of objects. There is a common misconception that, if learners can count to a certain number, they are smart and understand numbers. However, the question is whether they know the value of each number?  Take this scenario:ah Nataly, a Grade 3 learner, still uses her fingers to count and has difficulty with some of the easier Maths problems. However,  there are several really difficult problems that she can easily do. How is this possible? Let’s do a simple test. Look at the arrangement of the dots in each of the blocks:  BCD EAll of the blocks represent the number 5, but it is structured in different ways. A learner with no number sense will start to count the dots in each block, but a learner with number sense will automatically divide the dots into groups or create a structure in order to get to the value of the number. A: This is a familiar arrangement, it is represented on a dice or on playing cards and learners will recognise this arrangement easily. B: This is a sub-group arrangement. The dots are arranged into sub units and will force the brain to add the three dots to the two dots. C: This is a linear arrangement. It will most likely prompt counting, however, many people will mentally separate the dots and organise them into groups.  D: This is a random arrangement with no obvious grouping structures. The brain will try to look for a pattern or a way to divide them in order to get meaningful patterns.  E: This is also a sub-group arrangement, like in B, but the difference is that the brain will add the one dot to the other four dots.  Number sense boils down to the value of a number. Learners like Nataly find different ways and detours to do Maths without knowing the basics – they create alternative methods to get to the answers.  Teaching number sense is very basic and forms the foundation of Mathematics.  Here are a few ideas on how to stimulate number sense: Use dot cards and play games, e.g. memory games, with learners. Teach number combinations up to 10. Cut 10 circles from two different colours. Pack the circles in different combinations and see how fast the learner can recognise the number combinations. Repeat the exercise using a variety of number combinations, e.g. two red circles and four yellow circles = 6 Play games such as Halli Galli, which focuses on number combinations and establishes a foundation for number sense.  It is very important to ensure that number sense is engraved in a learner’s brain before moving on to more difficult Mathematical problems. Additionally, d an enriched learning environment that enhances the development of number sense can be craeted by means of a variety of wall charts and number games. References Way, J. (2005). Number sense series: Developing Early Number Sense, Online: https://nrich.maths.org/2477, Access 23 August 2017. 

Advtech Group

Developing children’s EQ crucial for future success in rapidly changing world

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is increasingly becoming a greater determinant of future success across all spheres of life than IQ, an expert says, adding that it is more important than ever before that EQ is nurtured from a young age. “The introduction of social media into our lives as well as the lives of our children has created an environment where people are required to efficiently manage a variety of relationships simultaneously and successfully,” says Chris Van Niekerk, head at Founders Hill College, part of Africa’s largest private education provider, ADvTECH. He says the acquisition of knowledge, while obviously important, is less critical in the current information age, and that the emphasis for success has more to do with what can be done with the knowledge at hand. “This requires the ability to collaborate across gender divides, age gaps, cultural differences, and the like. A well-developed EQ will position a child well to positively engage 21st century challenges in adolescence and ultimately, adulthood.” Van Niekerk says that emotional intelligence can be defined as the ability to understand our own feelings, as well as the feelings of those around us. This includes concepts of self-awareness, empathy and dealing sensitively with other people. “In a world where we are required to manage a matrix of personal and professional relationships instantly and efficiently, the need to have a well-developed sense of self, alongside good empathetic social awareness is critical. It is widely accepted that IQ alone does not guarantee success in adulthood, in either the workplace or at home. “Our potential, and that of our children, will only come to fruition if our cognitive abilities are enhanced, complemented and communicated through a well-developed EQ which entails sound self-awareness as well as the awareness of the emotions of those around us.” Van Niekerk says that a well-developed EQ can, literally, be the deciding factor for success in adulthood. “This places an exciting, but onerous burden on us as parents and educators to ensure that our children are not only well versed in the Social, Natural and Commercial Sciences, among others, but also have the emotional savvy to manage their own feelings and behaviours, while being able to understand the feelings of others.” He advises parents who are serious about prioritising the EQ of their children to start incorporating strategies to develop it in their daily lives. There are a few practical ways in which to do this: Role model the behaviour that you expect in your children. Normalise talking about emotions. Acknowledge positive and negative emotions in your child. Teach your children that feelings and behaviour are in fact separable. Negative emotions do not have to lead to inappropriate behaviour. Keep your expectations, and subsequent guidance, age appropriate. Love them unconditionally. “The need for Emotional Intelligence is introduced naturally to our children from early cognition, when they learn ‘acceptable behaviour’, learn to manipulate others, and respond to their environment to get what they need, and more often, to get what they want,” says Van Niekerk. “The ‘how’ of introducing EQ to children is dependant on their emotional capacity, which is usually linked to their age. Six-year-olds, normatively, are able to follow basic instructions, can express their feelings, fears and problems, are reasonably self-sufficient and are able to compare themselves to their peers. With this specific ‘emotional skill set’ in mind, parents and teachers can get creative with exploring learning opportunities related to identifying and naming emotions, reflecting on the emotions that accompanied certain experiences during the day, as well as exploring different ways of expressing emotions.” Van Niekerk says it is widely accepted that people with well-developed emotional intelligence do better in the workplace than those of similar IQ, but who are less proficient in areas related to “people skills”. “This is true for the entire life cycle of our careers, from the entry point during the interviewing process, to ultimately fulfilling our professional potential later in our careers. Academic excellence is important and it matters in the workplace, however people drive workplace processes, and the degree of an individual’s success is reliant on combining these various skill sets. “Equally, in personal relationships, a realistic and well-grounded identity, coupled with positive feelings about our concept of self, create an ideal position for us to choose and enjoy fulfilling and healthy family and social lives as adults. And the best time to start this journey to personal success, is in a child’s early years.”

Parenting Hub

Homework or no Homework for South African schools?

The paradigm around learning in South Africa is changing rapidly. If, like most parents of this generation, you grew up with homework, then this might not seem like such a big deal. However, schools around the world, including South Africa, are changing their views on homework. This is largely thanks to the revolutionary approach to education that Finland has adopted – with stunning results. Where did it all start? The Finnish Phenomenon In 2006 the Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) conducted a survey of 15-year-olds’ academic skills from 57 nations. Finland placed first in science by a whopping 5% margin, and dropped a bomb in the world’s schooling narrative.  Here is what’s so different about Finland’s preschools and primary schools: Preschool is not academically focused in any way but focuses more on play, fostering healthy socialising, increasing independence, and growing maturity. Children don’t start school until they are seven years old.  They have less homework than their peers in other countries – at most a half an hour a day, which is often completed during school anyway. There are no private schools in Finland, so children from wealthy and middle- to low-income homes melt together. This also means better schools all round, as the whole neighbourhood is invested in making the local schools of a high standard for everyone. Finland determined that education is the way to climb out of their economic hole. Education became more than just another point on a child’s long to-do list; it became a beacon for the future of an entire country’s success. There is only one standardised test, which is administered in the final year of high school. At many schools, teachers don’t grade students until the fifth grade, and teachers aren’t forced to organise curriculum around standardised testing. After ninth grade, students attend either an academic program (53%) or vocational one (47%) — this flexibility results in a 96% graduation rate, dwarfing South Africa’s cohort pass rate of 39.25%. Finally, play constitutes a significant part of individual growth and learning in Finnish schools. Every class must be followed by a 15-minute recess break so children can spend time outside on their own activities to ‘reset’ their minds.  What about South Africa? We hear people argue that, because South Africa is bigger, more diverse, and more unequal, it’s harder to reach higher quality education. However, there are some shining examples of what we can accomplish when our public and private schools start embracing change. In 2015, Gavin Keller – principal of Sun Valley Primary and CEO of The Sun Valley Group of Schools – implemented a no-homework policy for their primary school and up to Grade 9 in their high school, assigning learners 20 minutes’ reading time a day instead. Keller says. “When we started assessing our school, what became very clear was that school is a high-stress, anxiety-based environment and children have no time to be innovative and creative. They need nine hours of sleep and their school day is six-and-a-half hours long, so there’s no time to play – and play drives creativity.’ They’ve since seen improved academic results, increased motivation and a significant increase in reading. “Schools are changing how they approach learning,” says Janine Hammond, MD of Sherpa Kids Western Cape, an aftercare and holiday care solutions provider for many preschools and primary schools in the Western Cape, “and it’s time that aftercare is considered in the same light as well. Most of our children will go into jobs that don’t currently exists. They need problem solving skills, time management, and programs that stimulate intellectual capacity building. This does not happen by accident, but through careful, thoughtful education and aftercare systems that are based on sound parenting principles like routine, discipline, boundaries, and reward.” “We’ve seen the benefits of play for learning,” says Janine. “We need to remember that what happens after the school day is as important as what happens during the school day. It truly does ‘take a village’ to raise a child, so the aftercare team needs to be the ‘fresh legs’ so desperately needed to constructively support our children during the second half of the school day.” Sinai Academy in Bloubergrant – a private school that uses the South African CAPS curriculum – has long since adopted the approach of independent learning. “Students are self directed and become lifelong learners,” says the school. Students are given the month’s curriculum at the start of the month, and then each learner can choose what they’d like to complete and by when, as long as all of it is completed by month’s end. This allows them to energetically complete their favourite things, before tackling the more difficult lessons. This fosters a love for learning, and allows more time for play. What can I do as a Parent? If you child’s school does insist on homework, here are some great tips from Janine Hammond of Sherpa Kids on how to manage homework with success: Do homework early in the afternoon – right after lunch if possible – while your child’s minds is still fresh. This also allows them to close the ‘school day’ file in their minds, and releases them to exhale into their afternoon’s fun activities.  If you can only help your child with homework when you come home from work, try not to do it directly before bed time. Studies show that children need to wind down before bed in order to sleep well. A good night’s sleep means better memory capabilities, which means a brighter, happier child. So after homework, allow a little play time, then read a story in bed, then it is lights out. If your child does go to an aftercare, find out if they include structured time that allows your child to learn independently (not provide another teaching lesson, but also not abandon them to attempt the tasks alone), and that facilitators are available to guide and support your child in their homework, and in play. Most schools in the Western

Parenting Hub

What is the correct age to give a child a cellphone?

The modern-day child is being thrust into a rapidly expanding digital and cyber world, whether they are ready for it or not. The question that was posed to me was, “At what age should a child receive their first cell phone?” If only it were that simple and if only society had written rules on how to govern social media and its appropriate etiquette. Sadly, too many children and parents find themselves in a situation way over their heads when it is too late to reverse the precedent that has already been set. As parents, we should aim to be pro-active. In an ideal world, if parents could agree on unwritten regulations, then we could minimise the added cyber peer pressure that our children are experiencing. I find myself in the advantageous position of being a parent to a tween (pre-teen) as well as a high school teacher for twenty years, teaching Life Orientation, Social Sciences and English. Thus, I have made it a priority to try to best equip myself and to empower my own children and pupils. At the beginning of the year, I assigned a task to my grade 7 pupils to interview various age groups regarding cellphone usage. Based on their findings, they had to formulate their own cell phone etiquette policy. Their findings were astonishing. Many tweens had already encountered cyber bullying or inappropriate usage of social media. When conducting my own research amongst pupils, teachers, psychologists and parents, one thing became clear: Cellphones are unfortunately a necessary evil. While we do not have the choice to ignore the necessity of our children having a cell phone, we should be intentional in our navigation and set our own “terms and conditions”. When our children learn to drive, they first need a learner’s license and adult supervision. Why then, can we not create a similar platform with cell phones, before we just toss them the metaphorical keys and expect them to know how to drive? Cell phones are intriguing and as exciting as getting your first car. The sense of independence and freedom combine to make the user want immediate access and license. However, we never grant a child a license before they learn how to drive and pass the test. Receiving your first cell phone should be a significant rite of passage and an exciting phase in your teenager’s life. It could be likened to getting your first bicycle.  Accompanied with the thrill, is the need to learn how to ride the bicycle as well.   Most Parents and teachers agree that thirteen is an acceptable age to receive a cell phone, provided that the child is mature enough to abide by rules set at home and at school. The determining factor should not be a matter of convenience only, whereby parents simply hand down their old phones to their children in order to satisfy a desire and keep them occupied. Did you know that Facebook has an age restriction of 13? WhatsApp has now changed its age restriction in the European Union from 13 to 16 years of age. One can assume these age restrictions have been put in place for a good reason. Larian Botha, Teacher and Parent – Southdowns College

Impaq

Phonics – the root of reading

What do you want to achieve with a reading programme in the Foundation Phase? This is a critical question. Teachers often rush through a curriculum in order to get learners ready for the formal assessment rather than taking the time to work with the learners to ensure a deep-rooted understanding of phonics.  At the end of the Foundation Phase (Grade 3), we expect learners to read with comprehension. But how often do we get to that point where we are satisfied with the reading ability of the learner? Here is a scenario that you might be able to relate to: Nataly is a Grade 3 learner, when she reads she will suddenly start to sound simple words and if you ask her to tell you what she read, she is not able to do so. What went wrong? There are many aspects of reading to take into consideration before you can pinpoint the specific problem.  Phonics The phonics was not completely engraved in Grade 1 and 2. I am not talking about knowing the alphabet because the learner probably knows the alphabet off by heart. I am talking about the more difficult blends and three letter combinations. When a learner knows all the phonics and blends, it will make reading a lot easier. Phonemic awareness is the basic foundation of reading any text.  High frequency words High frequency words are commonly mixed up with sight words. High frequency words are the words that usually do not have any meaning but are used a lot while the learner reads. This would be words like: is, am, are, them, those, etc. These words should be introduced one by one. It is best to start with the words that have the sounds that the learner already knows. It is important that the learner knows these high frequency words off by heart. If they do not recognise the word immediately, they will start to spell it out. The human brain is very powerful. You must have seen those social media posts that mix up the letters in the middle but you can still read the words. For example: I can stlil raed the txet as lnog as the frist and lsat ltters are the smae. This is exactly how the high frequency words work. The learner must “guess” the word rather than read it. They must see the whole word rather than the different letters in each word.  Sight words Sight words are those words that we would put up in the classroom and use with the themes. Sight words are often longer, difficult words like giraffe, chimpanzee, elephant, impala, etc. The learners must use their phonics to spell out these words. They don’t have to know these words at all, as they learn how to read fluently, these words will become part of their high frequency words as well.  Reading with comprehension comes down to the ability to understand language through phonological awareness. If a learner does not read with comprehension in Grade 3, it is time to take some serious steps backwards. Rather put the curriculum on hold for a day or two and do a simple assessment on phonics by asking the following questions with some sound cards. Does the learner know all the letters of the alphabet in any order?  Does the learner know all the blends and sounds with two vowels or two consonants like “oo” or “-er”? Does the learner know all the three letter sound combinations like “str-”? Can the learner read simple words? Can the learner read more difficult words? Does the learner know the high frequency words without sounding them? Can the learner build simple words? Can the learner build more difficult words? Can the learner read a sentence without sounding the letters? Can the learner read a paragraph without sounding the letters? If any of the answers to these questions is “no” that will indicate where the learner was left behind. Try to catch up with activities until the learner can answer “yes” to all 10 questions.  Let’s take number 10 as an example. If a learner reads a paragraph, but still needs to sound some of the words, he/she will lose the context of the story and will not be able to remember what the story was about. If the learner can read fluently, but does not understand the context it is important to teach the learner reading comprehension skills by asking the questions first before he/she reads the text. Reading with comprehension comes down to the ability to apply one’s knowledge of language to written text. Learners like Nataly find alternative ways to read and write and in the long run when she cannot read with comprehension, she will misread questions in examination papers and write down the wrong answers. In the end, she will not live up to her full potential because she cannot read as well as she should.  It is very important to ensure that phonological awareness and high frequency words are engraved in a learner before you move on to more difficult words and sentences. Teachers should create an enriched learning environment to ensure the development of phonics and reading and to ensure that all the requirements are met before moving on to the next phase. 

Impaq

Getting insight into bullying

Rita Niemann Bullying is an example of school violence, which mostly stems from aggression and poor self-image. Bullying can be defined as a conscious, wilful, and deliberate hostile activity and as it tends to happen at any point in time, it makes it very difficult to predetermine. Louw and Louw (2007:230) emphasise the need for humans to belong and states that social development is characterised by an increasing involvement with peers as that contributes towards satisfying emotional needs. Teachers and parents, therefore, must account for the various phases of relationship building during adolescence and must guide children towards sound social and interpersonal relationships. Because bullying cannot be contextualized by group, age or gender, any child can fall prey to a bully. However, children tend to follow the example of their parents and if parents condone acts of aggression or violence, children tend to emulate such acts, resulting in others feeling threatened and unsafe. Legislatively, every learner has the right to be educated in an environment that is “clean and safe” and is “conducive to education” (RSA, 2006). Unfortunately, bullying has become both a national and international concern. Most acts of bullying are related to an imbalance of power to ensure dominance, boosting the bully’s self-image and getting attention (even if it is negative attention). Barbara Coloroso (2005: 49-51) identified different kinds of bullies. Those who: have powerful personalities, are admired by others and are not easily recognised as being a bully. use gossip and verbal abuse to manipulate others. show little emotion, but is determined to continue the bullying. are hyperactive, struggle with schoolwork and have poor social skills. Any child can become a bully’s target depending on the bully’s inner insecurities. Bullies tend to prefer submissive children, but it could also simply be because the person is younger, smaller, thinner, fatter, or even because of his or her gender. Bullies also tend to choose targets who have characteristics they crave themselves, such as being clever and dedicated. Parents and teachers often wonder why victims do not report the bullying. Often, victims of bullying feel ashamed because of what is happening to them, or they feel that there must be something wrong with them. They also fear that the bullying may get worse if it is reported. Bullying must be dealt with swiftly and deliberately – see the follow-up article in this regard. References Coloroso, B. 2005: The bully, the bullied and the bystander. From pre-school to secondary school – how parents and teachers can help break the cycle of violence. London:Piccadilly. Louw, D., & Louw, A. 2007. Child and Adolescent Development. Bloemfontein: ABCPrinters. Niemann, R., Marais, N., Swanepoel, Z. & Moosa, M. 2016. Problem areas in schools In: Jacobs, M. Teaching-learning Dynamics, Johannesburg: Pearsons Republic of South Africa (RSA). 2006. Regulations for Safety Measures at Public School). Government Gazette No. 26663.  Pretoria: Government Printers.

Crawford International

Ways to get rid of the monsters in the dark

By Caroline Miller Principal of Crawford Pre-Primary Lonehill To your toddler, the oddest things can suddenly become frightening.  Some are easy to understand, while others can leave you wondering. The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler is a magical story that no childhood should be without. This journey of a mouse through a deep, dark wood captures the imagination. The little mouse shows that even a small animal can outwit predators and a fantastical creature in order to have some peace and quiet to enjoy a delicious snack. It is interesting to explore the fact that the Gruffalo (big, powerful and strong) is still able to be frightened and even frightened of a small thing and that is ok. Even big brothers or sisters, Mummies and Daddies can be frightened sometimes and sharing that fear or talking about it with someone can help – perhaps if the Gruffalo had a friend to walk with then they could have discussed the fear of the mouse and the end of the story might have been very different. Everyone, from the youngest child to the oldest adult, experiences anxieties and fears at one time or another. Feeling anxious in a particularly uncomfortable situation never feels very good. However, with kids, such feelings are not only normal, they’re also necessary. Dealing with anxieties can prepare young people to handle the unsettling experiences and challenging situations of life. Many anxieties and fears are normal. Anxiety is defined as “apprehension without apparent cause.” It usually occurs when there’s no immediate threat to a person’s safety or well-being, but the threat feels real. Anxiety makes someone want to escape the situation — fast. The heart beats quickly, the body might begin to perspire, and “butterflies” in the stomach soon follow. However, having fears or anxieties about certain things can also be helpful because it makes children behave in a safe way.  For example, a child with a fear of fire would avoid playing with matches. The nature of anxieties and fears change as children grow and develop: Babies experience stranger anxiety, clinging to parents when confronted by people they don’t recognize. Toddlers around 10 to 18 months old experience separation anxiety, becoming emotionally distressed when one or both parents leave. Kids ages 4 through 6 have anxiety about things that aren’t based in reality, such as fears of monsters and ghosts. Signs of anxiety Typical childhood fears change with age. They include fear of strangers, heights, darkness, animals, blood, insects, and being left alone. Children often learn to fear a specific object or situation after having an unpleasant experience, such as a dog bite or an accident. Separation anxiety is common when young children are starting school, whereas adolescents may experience anxiety related to social acceptance and academic achievement. If anxious feelings persist, they can take a toll on a child’s sense of well-being.  Apart from the usual signs of becoming clingy or nervous and tummy aches, parents can usually tell when their child is feeling excessively uneasy about something. Lending a sympathetic ear is always helpful, and sometimes just talking about the fear can help a child move beyond it. What is a phobia? When anxieties and fears persist, problems can arise. As much as a parent hopes the child will grow out of it, sometimes the opposite occurs, and the cause of the anxiety looms larger and becomes more prevalent. The anxiety becomes a phobia, or a fear that’s extreme, severe, and persistent. A phobia can be very difficult to tolerate, both for kids and those around them, especially if the anxiety-producing stimulus (whatever is causing the anxiety) is hard to avoid (e.g., thunderstorms). “Real” phobias are one of the top reasons kids are referred to mental health professionals. But the good news is that unless the phobia hinders the everyday ability to function, the child sometimes won’t need treatment by a professional because, in time, the phobia will be resolved. Helping your child Parents can help kids develop the skills and confidence to overcome fears so that they don’t evolve into phobic reactions. To help your child deal with fears and anxieties: Recognize that the fear is real. As trivial as a fear may seem, it feels real to your child and it’s causing him or her to feel anxious and afraid. Being able to talk about fears helps — words often take some of the power out of the negative feeling. If you talk about it, it can become less powerful. Never belittle the fear as a way of forcing your child to overcome it. Saying, “Don’t be ridiculous! There are no monsters in your closet!” may get your child to go to bed, but it won’t make the fear go away. Don’t cater to fears, though. If your child doesn’t like dogs, don’t cross the street deliberately to avoid one. This will just reinforce that dogs should be feared and avoided. Provide support and gentle care as you approach the feared object or situation with your child. Teach them how to rate fear. A child who can visualize the intensity of the fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest, may be able to “see” the fear as less intense than first imagined. Younger kids can think about how “full of fear” they are, with being full “up to my knees” as not so scared, “up to my stomach” as more frightened, and “up to my head” as truly petrified. Teach coping strategies. Try these easy-to-implement techniques. Using you as “home base,” your child can venture out toward the feared object, and then return to you for safety before venturing out again. Children also can learn some positive self-statements (such as “I can do this” and “I will be OK”) to say to themselves when feeling anxious. Relaxation techniques are helpful, including visualization (of floating on a cloud or lying on a beach, for example) and deep breathing (imagining that the lungs are balloons and letting them slowly deflate. So back

Impaq

What to consider when searching for a school

By Yandiswa Xhakaza Choosing a school is no small feat. Parents often undertake this task under enormous pressure and in a hurry to find a school on their way to or from work. However, I would urge parents to invest more time in finding the right school for their child because, while convenience is often the driving force, it’s important to remember that your child is potentially going to be in that space for up to 12 hours nearly every day. As such, the environment must be conducive for your child to feel secure, to be happy and to thrive.  Below are a few practical things that all parents should look for when in search of a good school. While these are biased towards pre-school and primary school, many of these considerations can also be applied to high school.  The school environment and general aura of fun, excitement and vibrancy. Look for colour, flowers, trees, jungle gyms and outdoor play equipment. You should get a sense of security, love and warmth. Classroom design and layout is a big indicator of whether the school offers a forward-thinking, 21st century approach. Look for learning stations with different learning activities in each station, as well as the availability of appropriate educational toys that incorporate sensorial skills, fine and gross motor skills, etc. In a pre-school environment, look for the dramatic play area, big wooden blocks, a reading corner etc. Classrooms that still force all children to strictly sit at a desk for more than 8 hours a day are concerning, so look for beanbags, couches, benches, comfortable carpets, balance balls etc. This not provides variety, it also allows children to learn in the ways/positions that they are most comfortable in. Wi-fi powered schools are no longer those with a computer room and designated computer classes once or twice a week. Schools that are innovative and digitally advanced are easy to spot. Look for visible gadgets inside the classroom, including laptops/tablets, headphones, white boards, projectors etc. Digital learning shouldn’t happen in isolation, it should be infused with day-to-day learning. Child happiness is the most genuine measure, so listen for the buzz of laughter and look for happy smiles. Well mannered and polite children who greet and make way for you to pass is symbolic of the school culture. A great set of extra-curricular activities that children can choose from speaks directly to whole child development. Consider how the school harnesses all aspects of the child, not just academic ability. Effective teacher-parent communication that happens on a regular basis regarding the work being covered at school that week, fun activities that took place in class, occasional photos of the children, classroom messages etc. Find out how parents are engaged so that they feel like they are part of the learning experience. A diverse team of dynamic and passionate teachers always makes for a great school. The school can have state of the art facilities and resources, but without amazing teachers who inspire children and make them feel like they are doing an incredible job, then it’s all for nothing. Teachers can make or break a school, so be sure to meet the educators.

Clamber Club

Empower your child

Notice your feelings when your child challenges you. We live in a different world today. What may have worked then may not be relevant today. “With the increase of mental health problems, higher occurrences of suicide amongst the tweens and teens and more depression and anxiety experienced by children it goes without saying that parents feel overwhelmed and not always on top of their game,” says Anna Rodrigues Clamber Club Expert and Play Therapist. Playing is a child’s language and can be interesting. As much as they learn from us we too can learn from them. “Children live in the moment, they live in the here and now and the time you spend with them makes a difference to their overall well being,” says Anna. “By playing with your child you are connecting on a physical level and when you start mentioning feelings, connection on an emotional level happens,” adds Anna. During play stating to your child that you are feel happy playing with him and that you are feel excited when you are jumping, dancing and crawling with him makes him feel special and important. When you smile at him, give him a hug and tickle him – you make him feel worthy in that moment. As the parent you become more attentive to your child and realise the time together is magical! There are reasons why children present with challenging behaviour. They may be looking for your attention. They may want to control you and enter into a power struggle with you or they may want you to feel sorry for them or make you feel guilty. This is the moment to notice your feelings. Scene 1: Your child refuses to feed his dog but with a bit of encouragement he gets in and does it. But on another occasion your child persists relentlessly and does not cooperate. Be conscious of your feelings. If you get irritated or annoyed your child could be looking for attention. A way to deal with this would be to reflect on content and feeling. For example: “I see you continue to play and you seem to ignore what I am asking you to do. (Reflect on the content). Perhaps you are feeling a bit tired?” Reflecting on what your child is doing or on what he may be feeling makes him feel he is being understood and this is calming for your child. “This approach may influence him to cooperate,” advises Rodrigues. Scene 2: Your child makes a noise while you and your husband are trying to watch TV. Take note of what you are feeling, you may be getting cross and a power struggle may start to form. The technique to use is to present your child with choices. For example: “You are making a noise and we can’t hear the TV. You can stay and play quietly or we can take you to your bedroom where you can play loudly.” If he continues to make a noise then take him to his bedroom and let him return when he is able to play quietly. Providing your child with choices is empowering for him as it allows him to choose. It also builds a sense of responsibility, as how he chooses to behave will determine whether he stays in his bedroom or plays besides his parents. Scene 3: You are a single parent reading a bedtime story to your 5 year old. Your child says “ Dad reads nicer stories.” You feel this is hurtful and your child may want you to feel bad or guilty because she may be angry being away from her dad. Reply by reflecting on her feelings, “I bet you wish dad were here, I feel sad for you. Maybe you can help me choose a bedtime story every night.” To recap: Your feelings Intention of your child’s challenging behaviour Technique to use You feel annoyed/irritated. Your child looking for your attention. Reflect on what your child is doing and feeling. You feel cross. Your child is looking at controlling or entering into a power struggle. Provide your child with choices. You feel hurt. Your child is wanting to take revenge or make you feel guilty. Reflect on your child’s feelings.   In managing your child’s challenging behaviour you are building his character. You want your child to have a sound moral make-up, to be able to love, be responsible and have empathy for others, to be able to solve problems, deal with failure and perform under pressure. William A Ward once said: “ The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates and the great teacher inspires” “You that you are your child’s first teacher, so be the AMAZING teacher,” says Anna.

Impaq

Bullying: What parents and schools can do

ARTICLE BY PROF RITA NIEMANN, NALIZE MARAIS, ZENDRÉ SWANEPOEL AND MONIERA MOOSA Bullying is a great concern for both parents and schools. Here we outline a number of measures that can help them both parties deal with bullying. Parents When parents notice that their child is behaving differently – not wanting to go to school, using illness as an excuse, suddenly performing poorly at school or enuresis – and suspect bullying, they need to act immediately. Firstly, they must determine where this is happing (at school, at a sports club, on social media, etc.) and who the perpetrator(s) are. Secondly, if the bullying is taking place in an organised environment such as at school or sports club, the authorities need to be informed and requested to step in. They are legally bound to protect the rights of the child. Thirdly, parents have the responsibility to equip their children to cope by: Instilling the knowledge that children must take a stand and that they have a choice in allowing someone else to victimise them. Assisting children to terminate relationships that are potentially harmful, such as blocking a person on social media. Helping them to identify bullies and the different forms of bullying. Creating a safe space for children to speak about what is happening to them. Emphasising assertive verbal communication if threatened. Building children’s self-concept. Getting the help of a psychologist, if necessary, to counsel the victim. Emphasising that respectful behaviour is always the best option and thus preventing retaliation. Fostering problem-solving and conflict resolution skills with the focus on restoring damaged relationships. Working collaboratively to solve the problem with their children so that they can feel reassured. Schools As bullying is a deliberate act to hurt someone, there must be consequences for the bully. Once teachers are aware that a bullying incident has taken place at school, the matter must be dealt with by: Asking the victim to provide the names of the perpetrator(s), as well as the names of friends of the victim, as soon as he/she has calmed down. Counselling the victim and finding out whether he/she has been injured and what effect the bullying or harassment has had on him or her. Cultivating a “no blame” approach towards bullying or harassment. Establishing punitive sanctions for both the bully and for any bystanders. Developing a bullying code of conduct/bullying policy and informing learners of this. Having designated teachers to deal with incidents of bullying. Facilitating mediation and discussions with the victim and the bully, depending on the severity of the bullying. Passing the responsibility to the bully or group of bullies to make sure that the problem is solved. Ensuring that potential bystanders understand that they have a vital role to play during bullying incidents. Letting the victims feel protected after they have reported the incident. Encouraging learners to make suggestions on how they can contribute to alleviating the negative experiences of the victim. Scheduling follow-up meetings to monitor the situation where each party has to share how things are going. Informing the parents of both the bully and the victim about the incident/s. The principal and teachers have a crucial role to play in directing learners towards becoming responsible citizens. They should create a safe and secure environment, establish a non-violent culture, and be good role models for all learners. Reference Niemann, R., Marais, N., Swanepoel, Z. & Moosa, M. 2016. Problem areas in schools In: Jacobs, M. Teaching-learning Dynamics, Johannesburg: Pearsons

Parenting Hub

What Summer Camp Mom Are You?

We all know there are different types of moms around the world, but when moms send their children to summer camp, moms turn into summer camp moms. From the rookie, to the veteran and everything in between. Here are the different types of moms we get to see on arrival day at summer camps. The Helicopter Mom Like helicopters, a helicopter mom hovers over her child on every little detail when sending them to camp. From which set of clothes he should wear for the camp evening program, to having an extra pair of socks in the event that the extra packed pair gets lost too, to packing “just in case” medication, to pulling out a two-page set of questions based on information she gathered from the camps website, to requesting interval reports from the camp on how her child is doing. The list is endless. We love our helicopter moms, they keep camp standard on the ball. The Worrisome Mom  With similar characteristics to the Helicopter Mom, this mom is an over-thinker. The slightest scratch on her child would need paramedic support. She has multiple scenarios lined up of what could go wrong, asks her child if they’re going to be okay seven different ways before letting them go during their goodbye hug.”Mooooooom”, this is what you usually hear from a child with a Worrisome Mom.” Better safe than sorry” is this mom’s mantra. The Over-Sharer  No kid enjoys being dropped off or picked up by this type of summer camp mom. “Jonathan hasn’t passed his stage of wetting his bed yet”, as she pulls out Jonathan’s luggage from the back seat of the car. This mom will make sure Jonathan’s life story is put out into the world before he steps a foot out of the car, the extreme case of this type of mom would be the old-age tradition of taking out baby photos accompanied with story-telling. But how adorable our ‘over-sharer’ moms can be. Doting on their children, who should have a day dedicated to reminisce over their children. The Free Range Mom This is any summer camp’s favourite type of mom. Dubbed “The Zen Mom”, this mom believes in the spirit of letting their child experience camp independently. As you may have picked up, this is the total opposite of the helicopter mom. She’s all about having fun. She has the counselors and the other campers eating out of her hands with her charming personality and free spirit. The Girl Scout Mom  Another mom camps love. This mom is all about camp spirit! She has camp culture so embedded in her that she would fit right in with the counselors. Armed with hand sanitizer and a first aid kit, she’s ready for anything. She’s prompt and thoughtful, and is always ready to help. With this mom by your side, one would be tempted to be a camper for the day. We love it when moms become summer camp moms, what summer camp mom are you? 

Impaq

Let your child fail – it’s okay

Facing challenges and making mistakes can help your child grow. By Danielle Barfoot As parents, we want to protect our children – from danger, from upset, from things not turning out how they had hoped, and especially from failure. But we need to realise that it’s not just okay, but essential, for our children to fail and make mistakes.  As difficult as it may be to accept, we cannot shield our children from defeat, sadness, anxiety, or regret. But we can help them experience it safely. Providing opportunities for children to make mistakes and face the subsequent consequences is vital to raising adults who can meet life’s challenges with confidence.  In fact, research has shown that children who don’t have opportunities to struggle and recover have lower self-confidence and a less developed self-concept. They tend to be more fearful of failure and less willing to try new things. Here are four benefits of allowing your child to make mistakes: Develop self-confidence: When children are allowed to make decisions on their own, they develop self-confidence. This self-confidence helps them to not be so afraid of failure that they are unwilling to try new things.   Build life skills: Children develop important life skills when they are allowed to go through challenging situations. They learn how to bounce back, handle negative emotions, develop self-control, and how to apologise.  Take responsibility: Allowing children to make their own decisions creates an opportunity for them to also deal with the consequences. Sometimes they will make poor decisions, which will teach them to take responsibility for their actions. They will learn from the natural consequences and will (hopefully) make wiser decisions in the future. Solve their own problems: Too often, either because it’s easier or because we hate to see them struggle, we rush in to help our children figure something out. But letting your child try and try again – and eventually get it right on her own – will teach her more about herself and her abilities than when you rush in to save the day.  Life doesn’t always go as expected From getting a low grade or fighting with a friend to losing an important game, life can be riddled with disappointments and failures. But instead of focusing on a fixed marker of success, consider what your child has learned. Instead of the mistake or perceived failure, the focus should be on personal growth and development.  So, when things go wrong – and they will – show your acceptance and support. Let her know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that failure isn’t fatal… even if she feels as if she might die of embarrassment.  This article was contributed by Impaq Education (previously known as Impak Onderwysdiens). At Impaq we know that personal growth and development is an important part of any child’s educational journey. We provide innovative and accessible education solutions to help learners prepare for life in a modern society. 

Parenting Hub

Chasing academic A’s limits possibilities

Education, as we have known it for the past 100 years, is fixated on academic prowess. The percentage on the report card has always been the benchmark by which we believe we can determine if a child will become a successful adult, or not. Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says “Self-worth is too often determined by academic assessments. Emotional walls are built, intelligence is defined, negative behaviours are acted upon, anxieties and depression are pandemic in young people – all because of society’s fixation on that percentage on the report.”

Parenting Hub

Help! My child is writing exams for the first time

The idea of writing exams rarely brings about emotions of excitement and happy anticipation! In fact, feelings of anxiety, panic and outright fear are what most parents and learners experience when exam time comes knocking at their door! Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says “Generation after generation, people have passed on the baton of fear, anxiety and dread when it comes to exams. The stories are familiar to us all:

Kaboutjie

6 Simple Practices to Keep Your Child Active and Healthy

No one said that parenting would be easy, but it doesn’t have to be a struggle. Although it’s normal to worry about your kids when they’re heading off to school, you can lower those anxiety levels by preparing for the transition. You also need to accept that your child is growing, and you can’t keep him or her in a protective bubble. In fact, over protective parenting can have far worse consequences for your child, persisting into adulthood. If you’re worried about frequent infections, fatigue or low energy, learning problems, and so on, there are steps that you can take to better prepare your child for the demands and stress of schooling. Before you try to impart good habits and practices to your child, just remember that kids can be quick to call you out on your hypocrisy and double standards, so be a good role model, or learn to cheat smart and not get caught!

Clamber Club

Making Sense of the World Around Us

There is no denying the importance of the sense of sight. Using our sight, we are able to learn through visually exploring objects and the world in which we live, and thereby gain an understanding of the relationships between people and objects.  It is for this reason that parents should invest as much time as possible helping their children develop their visual sense. Visual skills are divided in to two main areas; first is our eye’s ability to see; Visual Acuity and second is the brains ability to process, integrate and interpret what the eyes are seeing; Visual Perception. A problem with either of these systems may result in your child having problems related to their visual sense. Visual acuity can be assessed by an Optometrist.  Assessed difficulties may be as a result of underlying weakness of the muscles which control eye movements, resulting in jerky or restricted movements of the eye. As a result, these children often have difficulty manipulating objects in their hands and experience fine motor difficulties in tasks such as cutting and writing or may have a slow rate of work as they require additional time to gain the necessary visual information in order to complete a task. Visual Perceptual skills can be assessed by an Occupational Therapist. Visual Perception is a broad term, used to describe a number of different skills which include:  Visual Discrimination Is the ability to identify differences and similarities between shapes, objects and patterns based on their individual characteristics and features. For example a square has four sides and four corners, while a triangle has three sides and three corners.  Form constancy The ability to recognize and interpret the fact that a shape remains a shape, despite changes in the presentation of the shape. For example, a square is still a square based on a specific set of properties, irrelevant of the size, direction, orientation, colour or texture of the square.  Figure Ground Perception The ability to screen out irrelevant visual material in order to concentrate on an important stimulus. This is necessary for a child at the back of the class who has to look across the whole classroom and concentrate only on what is being written on the board.  Position in Space The ability to perceive an objects position in our environment in relation to our own bodies. Following instructions related to objects, such as standing next to an object, requires an understanding of how that object is orientated in space in relation to ourselves and requires good position in space skills.  Spatial Relations The ability to perceive the position of two or more objects in relation to our own bodies and in relation to the objects.  During gross motor activities a child will need to plan movements taking in to consideration the location of other objects in their environment.  Visual Closure The ability to recognise and identify a shape or object without having to see the whole shape or object. This requires the child to visually ‘fill in the gaps’. Good visual closure skills will assist a child with reading and comprehending what is being read.  Visual Memory The ability to remember what has been seen and to recall it immediately. This skill enables a child to remember what they have read, as it moves from short-term memory in to long-term memory.  Visual Sequencing The ability to remember shapes and characters in a specific order. This is a vitally important skill for learning to spell.  “It is clear that the development of Visual Perceptual skills is closely linked to cognitive development,” says Kelly Westerman, Occupational Therapist and Clamber Club Franchisee.  “In younger children it is important that a child experiences visual perception through the movement of their bodies before they progress to 3D activities like blocks, shape sorters and puzzles and then on to pen and paper tasks which include writing, cutting and pasting.”   Due to the fact that vision is so integrated in to everything that a child does, symptoms and impairments may be broad and varied. In younger children, problems associated with the visual sense may result in delayed milestones and can experience a delay in language development as they struggle to grasp relationships and associations between people and objects.  There is no doubt that good visual acuity and visual perceptual skills are vital for the acquisition of skills and knowledge that are needed for academic success. It is therefore important that parents create opportunities for the development of these skills in the everyday lives of their little ones. If parents have any concern they should consult with their Doctors or Paediatricians.  Occupational Therapist and founder of Clamber Club, Liz Senior, has put together a list of activities and games that can help your child develop their visual sense: Playing ‘I spy’ e.g.:  something round, something smaller than the table or my book Ask your child to locate specific items on a page in a book Arranging objects from largest to smallest, and vice versus Draw simple shapes on paper and ask your child to redraw the shapes Covering half a picture of an object and asking your child what the object is Hide the peanut – Place the nut (or raisin) under one of three cups and move them around slowly. Have the child try pick the cup the peanut is under. If he picks the right cup, he gets to eat the prize underneath. Add more cups to make this more challenging (up to five cups) Object games – Place some everyday objects on a tray. Start with 4 objects and show them to the child for 5 seconds. Cover them and see how many he can recall. Add more objects as the child becomes more proficient with this. Try work up to 10 objects in total

Parenting Hub

Help! My child does not want to go to school

The academic year can be a challenging time for families.  It becomes even more so when a child resists or tries to avoid going to school. Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres explains “Emotions tend to run high, panic may set in and too often, parents feel quite helpless in these stressful situations. Children may feign illness, throw temper tantrums or act out in other negative ways in order to force their parents to let them stay at home. The reasons why are varied. Children who are being bullied, are constantly being yelled at, who battle with the academic programme or who feel lonely or depressed may insist on staying home instead of attending the regular school day. Exhaustion, fear of an upcoming test or assignment or fears of a wrongdoing may also contribute to school avoidance. Dealing with these situations is never easy and, as with all challenges in bringing up our children, there is no one-size-fits-all solutions.”  Cindy suggests the following helpful tips if you have a child who no longer wants to go to school: Don’t panic and let fear-filled emotions (such as anger and critical judgement) cloud your vision in finding positive, helpful solutions. Remember that all negative behavioural choices are based on some sort of fear.  Make it your mission to find out what it is that your child is afraid of and then decide on how best to give your child the tools needed to face and overcome those fears. Don’t allow staying at home to become a ‘fun’ alternative to going to school. Be firm in not allowing activities such as watching TV or playing computer games when a child stays home on a school day. There need to be consequences to not going to school-be it catching up on missed work, learning for the missed test or just being bored! Teach your children not to avoid their fears, but to face them and to find solutions that work for them.  Keep the lines of communication between yourself and your children and yourself and your children’s teachers, wide open! Honest, non-judgemental communication can lead to many valuable life lessons being learned.  Choose to be supportive, but firm in your resolve to ensure that your child attends school. It is essential to allow your child to tell you (without fear) why he/she is avoiding school. If any abuse (from peers or teachers) is the cause of school avoidance, it is essential that you take the matter up with the appropriate authorities within a school. No child should be staying at home for fear of abuse of any kind. Cindy concludes by saying “There are no easy, one-stop solutions to dealing with the challenges of a child who refuses to go to school. Remember that, as a parent, how you choose to handle the situation will set the tone for how your child will handle challenges in his life.  Be consistently loving and firm while you aim at finding  positive, sustainable solutions.” 

Parenting Hub

Children can burn out too!

Gone are the days when children went to school, came home, made a peanut butter sandwich and went to play with the neighbourhood kids!  Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres explains “Children are naturally high-energy beings and very little thought is given to the extreme pressures and overloading of activities that our children face in the world that we find ourselves living in today! As adults, we are familiar with the challenges of physical and emotional burn-out, but we do not consider that children are prone to burn out as well.  In fact, burn out in children, if left unchecked, can lead to depression, complete apathy and a myriad of health issues.” Cindy goes on to explain that many children are being subjected to competitive and pressured activities all day, every day and at a pace that most adults would find challenging to keep up!  “Academic expectations, sports (school and clubs), cultural and religious studies, extra lessons, music, art, drama, dance…. the list goes on and on… when packed, back-to-back into the daily schedule of children can lead to overloaded children becoming exhausted and this may lead to burn out!” Parents who notice that their children are showing a combination of the following signs may want to consider that their children may be heading towards burn out-or worse-have already burned out!  A loss of motivation or desire for activities that they once enjoyed or looked forward to. Anxiety, fearfulness and panic attacks Fatigue and tearfulness, withdrawn, uncharacteristic tantrums  Feelings of dejection, making excuses or simply refusing to attend activities that they may have enjoyed before Physical illnesses, loss of appetite, nail biting Falling behind in academics or other activities Burn out is not something to be taken lightly.  Cindy gives the following tips to consider when dealing with burn out in children: Choose to be a mindful parent.  Watch, communicate, listen-with-understanding, acknowledge that something needs to change and act to help and support your child!   Honestly assess the activities and stress causers in your child’s life.  Work with your child to reduce or stop the activities that cause the greatest stress. Allow time for your children to just BE. Allow time for rest and reflection, for childish games and laughter. Teach your children the importance of listening to their bodies and making healthy choices for themselves—choices that are uplifting, enjoyable and less pressured. Be realistic in terms of how many activities your child is doing every day and every week. Watch for signs of exhaustion. Engender a relationship of non-judgemental communication with your child.  Guide, support and teach them positive coping skills (which may or may not involve a change in schedule). Choose to create balance in yours and your children’s lives. There is no advantage or positive learning that can take place from overloading a child! It is important for children to learn a variety of skills as they grow, but be aware of how much is expected of them—too much can be counter-productive! Cindy concludes by saying “Burn out in children is more prevalent that we may have allowed ourselves to consider before! It can lead to serious consequences.  As parents, it is essential that we acknowledge that children, although naturally high energy beings, can and will burn out if their lives are out of balance and the signs are left unchecked!”

Sidebar Image

Scroll to Top