Learning to communicate effectively is a complicated process, involving multiple skills that develop concurrently. A child’s speech and language skills develop as they grow from infancy to school age. This development should follow suggested timelines and patterns. When it doesn’t, this can be a worry for parents and is cause for a professional evaluation by a speech-language pathologist. Often, these difficulties can be treated with speech and/or language therapy.
Normal speech might seem effortless, but it’s actually a complex process that needs precise timing, and nerve and muscle control. When we speak, we must coordinate many muscles from various body parts and systems, including the larynx, which contains the vocal cords; the teeth, lips, tongue, and mouth; and the respiratory system. The ability to understand language and produce speech is coordinated by the brain.
A number of events must occur for us to speak. The brain MUST:
Want to communicate an idea to someone else
Send the idea to the mouth
Tell the mouth which words to say and which sounds make up those words
Incorporate patterns and accented syllables (to avoid sounding like a robot)
Send the signals to the muscles that control the tongue, lips, and jaw
Language is what we speak, write, read, and understand. Language is also communicating through gestures (body language or sign language). There are two distinct areas of language: receptive (what we hear and understand from others’ speech or gestures) and expressive (the words we use to create messages others will understand).
In order for children to begin using and understanding spokenlanguage, they must:
Hear well enough to distinguish one word from another
Have someone model what words mean and how to put sentences together
Hear intonation patterns, accents, and sentence patterns
Have the intellectual capability to process what words and sentences mean, store the information, and recall words and sentences heard previously when communicating an idea to someone else
Have the physical capability to speak in order for others to hear and understand the words they are saying
Have a social need and interest in using words to communicate with others
Have another person to positively reinforce their attempts at communication
Language Disorders483
AGE RED FLAG
Birth & Up • does not smile/interact with others
4 – 7 months • does not babble (“bababa”)
7 – 12 months • very few sounds or gestures (pointing)
7 months – 2 years • poor comprehension of what others say
1 1/2 – 2 years • speech is difficult for listeners to understand
1 1/2 – 3 years • does not combine words into sentences
2 – 3 years • difficulty talking to and playing with peers
2 1/2 – 3 years • difficulty with early literacy and writing skills
Speech Sound Disorders
AGE RED FLAG
1 – 2 years • incorrect production of early sounds /p,b,m,h,w/ in words
2 – 3 years • incorrect production of /k,g,f,t,d,n/ in words
2 – 3 years • speech is unclear, even to familiar listeners
Stuttering Disorders
AGE RED FLAG
2 1/2 – 3 years • difficulty producing sounds or words
2 1/2 – 3 years • repeats the first sound of words (b-b-b-baby for “baby”)
2 1/2 – 3 years • frequent pauses of silence when talking
2 1/2 – 3 years • stretching sounds out while talking (sssss-silly for “silly”)
Voice Disorders
AGE RED FLAG
any age • hoarse- or breathy-sounding voice
any age • nasal quality to voice
Hearing Problems
AGE RED FLAG
birth – 1 year • poor attention to sounds in the environment
7 months – 1 year • does not respond when name is called
1 – 2 years • difficulty following simple directions
birth – 3 years • delays in speech and/or language development
any age • scratching or pulling at ears
school-age • limited academic progress, especially math and/or reading
school-age • social isolation and unhappiness at school
school-age • discomfort in ears after exposure to loud noise
Encouraging good communication
Parents play the most important role in building communication skills in their children. Children develop communication habits by the way they see parents interacting with others. Parents who listen and speak with patience, interest, and attention prove to be the best teachers of listening and give their children the greatest audience in the world.
Listening Skills
Listening is a learned skill and an essential part of the communication exchange with your child. It is important to model good listening skills when your child is communicating via verbal messages (questions, requests) or nonverbal ones (actions or non-actions). You will be setting a good example for your children, and help them to become active listeners.
Active listening is the central component of communication. When parents are active listeners, other people may describe them as having good intuition and as being “tuned in” to their children. The process of active listening will help your child understand feelings and be less afraid of the negative ones. It will also allow them the opportunity to talk about and solve their own problems as well as gain more control over behaviour and emotions.
To become an active listener:
Set aside time to listen and block out distractions as much as possible. Encourage your child to talk directly to you so you may model the habits of good listening.
Some parents and children find they can communicate best just before bedtime or when they share an evening snack.
Maintain eye contact while your child talks. When your child speaks to you, show that you are genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings.
Listen to, summarise, and repeat back to your child the message you are hearing.
Watch for your child’s nonverbal cues including facial expressions, posture, energy level, or changes in behaviour patterns. The underlying messages may include the feelings, fears, and concerns of your child such as being scared… sad…angry…happy.
Accept and show respect for what your child is expressing, even if it does not coincide with your own ideas and expectations.
Listen respectfully and do not cut children off before they have finished speaking.
Strengthen your child’s confidence by reassuring them that you hear their ideas.
Talking Techniques
When talking to your child, try to make it a positive dialogue, rather than impose judgment or place blame. Also, as you communicate with your child, be sensitive to your tone of voice. Do not let your emotions confuse the message you are trying to convey. Avoid using “put-down” messages that judge or criticize a child.
Consider using “I” messages rather than “you” messages, especially when attempting to change or encourage certain behaviour. “I” messages are statements like “I would like more quiet time when I am trying to read.” With “I” statements, children receive the message in a more positive light. They often say things like “I didn’t realize that the noise I was making was bothering you.” Children often assume more responsible roles if they are made aware of and understand the feelings and needs of others.
By contrast, “you” messages are statements like “You should never do that.” “You make me so angry.” “Why don’t you pay attention?” These messages are more child-focused and are more likely to put a child on the defensive, encourage personal counter-arguments, and discourage effective communication.
Be as consistent as possible with all your children. You should have the same communication approach and style with every child, although the unique aspects of each relationship and each child’s temperament may require some modifications.
If you are concerned about your child’s speech and language development, it’s always a good idea to consult with a qualified Speech-Language Therapist.
We are Speech Language Pathologists and Audiologists. We provide therapy at various school in the East Rand, and deal with a wide range of communication delays and disorders. Tamaryn and Simone have been friends for 10 years
We’re all on edge because of the coronavirus. Our daily lives have been disrupted, we aren’t sure what tomorrow may bring, and, for many of us, the nonstop news and social media coverage are overwhelming. Therefore, it is not uncommon to feel anxious or worried during this time. If you or your children are feeling worried, learning how to deal with anxiety in a healthy way can help the whole family be more resilient, both now and when the pandemic is finally over.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety can be described as feelings of uneasiness or being worried when there is not necessarily any imminent danger present. It is often accompanied by intrusive and often unrealistic “What if” types of thoughts, experienced in the body as stress that continues even after the cause of the stress is gone.
What can parents do to support their children?
Many parents are experiencing a more difficult time dealing with COVID-19 than their children and some of the anxiety that kids are experiencing may be unintentionally passed on by worried parents. As parents, it is important to be a positive role model for your children and this includes showing them how to deal with anxiety during stressful events. You can create a positive and safe atmosphere in the home environment by doing the following:
Living in the “here and now” by focusing on, and staying in touch with, what is actually happening and not getting carried away with worst-case scenarios.
Identifying and getting help for your own anxieties first.
Being smart about what you read. Make sure your information comes from trustworthy and credible sources. While it is important that we are informed about how best to keep our families safe, we should be mindful about what we are reading online to make sure it’s actually helpful and not making our anxiety worse. It is easy to get sucked into clicking on “fake news” inadvertently or forwarding social media posts to your family group without verifying them or applying common sense.
Being aware of feel-good news and sharing these stories with your children to facilitate a more positive mindset and create awareness of the “silver lining” despite the crisis.
Sticking to an established routine that involves exercise, regular meals, and healthy amounts of sleep – this is crucial for regulating our moods and our worries. It can be hard to accept that our old routines are no longer possible because of COVID-19 precautions. Looking for ways to be flexible and starting new routines can help you and your family create a more productive and healthier lifestyle that can help to lower the amount of anxiety you experience.
Monitor your children
Parents do not always recognise signs of anxiety in their children. Identifying anxiety in your child can be tricky because it involves a pattern of behaviours that is unique to each child. The following behaviours could indicate anxiety:
Reassurance-seeking (“Are we going to be okay? Is Grandpa going to be okay?”)
Younger Learners – Younger children may not always be able to express how they are feeling. For younger children, use a “feelings chart” with pictures describing emotions instead of saying “Tell me how anxious you are”. With a feelings chart, which you can find on the internet, you can ask your child to point to the feeling and/or picture representing an emotion that they are currently experiencing. They can also draw pictures about things they feel happy or sad about.
Older learners – For children who are more aware of, and able to articulate, how they are feeling, it is better to ask what psychologists call “forced-choice questions.” If you ask a vague question, you’re going to get a vague answer. So instead of asking “How was your day?” which is pretty vague, maybe ask “Did your anxiety get in the way of you having a good day today?”.
Teenagers – If you have teenagers, start talking about yourself first. You can start the conversation with something like, “I saw this article today and it made me wonder about this and that. Did you experience something like that? What’s your reaction to it?”. Do not force your teenager to talk about their feelings unwillingly as this can create tension and cause them to feel hostility towards you. Wait a bit first and then attempt to discuss the matter with them at a later stage when they are calm and more willing to talk. If this still does not work, they can use a journal or art activities to express their feelings and experiences.
Structure their day. As parents, we often think that setting boundaries for a child is a way to make our lives easier, but kids benefit from boundaries, too. It is easy for children to get bored or fretful if they are facing a day without structure and anxiety can thrive under those circumstances. Make sure that you are structuring their days when they are “cooped up” at home.
Alternate chores or schoolwork with more fun activities that your children enjoy and periods of free time.
As restrictions lift, be sure to incorporate safe, outdoor activities that comply with social distancing principles as well. Make sure children are still getting the chance to exercise.
Encourage your child to socialise with friends via video chats and social media if they have access to these platforms. This is especially important for teenagers who thrive on social interaction with their peers.
Avoid giving too much reassurance. Avoid getting into a cycle of providing too much reassurance. Children of all ages can become too reliant on reassurance and want to hear it more and more often, and when a parent isn’t able to give them complete reassurance, their anxiety can worsen. Instead, try the following:
Remind kids of the things they are doing to take care of themselves (like washing their hands, wearing a mask when in public, and staying indoors),
Remind children of what they can still enjoy despite challenges,
Encourage children to focus on the present.
Give them hope for the future, by asking them to make a list of, or draw things, they are looking forward to doing when the lockdown is over. This creates a sense that current circumstances are only temporary.
Don’t be afraid to discuss the coronavirus. Not talking about something can make children worry more. Convey the facts in a realistic and reassuring way. You can, for example, say, “People are getting sick, but most of them get well and healthy again”.
Acknowledge your own anxiety. Take care of yourself. Remember to “put the oxygen mask on first” before you help your child. If your own wellbeing is compromised, you might miss signs that your child is struggling, and you will not be able to support them as best you can.
Focus on what you’re doing to stay safe. Kids feel empowered when they know what to do to keep themselves safe. Remind them that if they wash their hands frequently and wear their masks in public, they will be safe. You can create a handwashing song to make this activity more fun for younger children.
Calm yourself. Don’t share your worries with your children or become panicked. If you are feeling anxious, find ways to deal with these anxieties. The way you react to the current crisis will teach your children how to deal with future challenges.
Be aware of signs and symptoms that your child may be experiencing anxiety. Now is not the time to “wait and see”. Seek professional help if your child’s normal functioning is impaired by their anxiety.
We are Speech Language Pathologists and Audiologists. We provide therapy at various school in the East Rand, and deal with a wide range of communication delays and disorders. Tamaryn and Simone have been friends for 10 years
After receiving an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) diagnosis, it can be overwhelming for the parents or caregivers of an autistic child to cope with the various challenges ASD may present. However, with the appropriate support structures and strategies in place, caring for an autistic child can become more manageable.
Many autistic people are likely to experience communication difficulties, especially difficulties with social communication and understanding other people. Autistic children are also easily frustrated and made upset by unexpected events. Often, these feelings of frustration lead to intense meltdowns, and parents can help alleviate such feelings and prevent breakdowns by having support strategies in place.
Prepare for future events
Autistic children may become easily overwhelmed by minor changes in routine. Parents and children can benefit from preparation for the day’s or week’s events. Parents also need to ensure that structure and routine are upheld in the household so that the child knows exactly what to expect.
Make use of visual aids
Visual aids can assist autistic children in improving their skills in processing information, understanding and using language, and becoming more interactive within their environments.
Visual aids can be used to communicate with autistic children to inform them of what is happening at present, what will happen during the day, and what will happen during the coming days. Examples of how to use visual aids include:
Showing the child a picture of relatives who may visit
Showing them photos of the dentist or doctor before a visit
Creating a picture chart with the steps to follow when using the bathroom or getting dressed in the morning
Not only are visual aids helpful for communicating information to autistic children, but they also help ensure that autistic children are well-informed of daily events. When children are informed, the likelihood of intense meltdowns is significantly reduced.
Avoid sensory overload
Sensory overload is commonly found in autistic children and is a contributing factor to meltdowns. Sensory overload means that autistic children may sometimes experience certain sounds, textures, tastes, lights, and sensations as painful and intolerable, which may lead to a meltdown.
Parents can try to prevent a sensory overload by identifying their child’s specific trigger(s) and reducing the number of triggering stimuli in the environment. It may be helpful to reduce loud noise and avoid bright lights.
Ease children into public spaces
Trying to reduce noise and avoid bright lights is often impossible in public spaces like shopping malls or grocery stores. That is why it is essential to ease a child into visiting public spaces by starting with preparation using visual aids and very short visits. Once a child can manage a short trip, gradually increase the time of the visit. The same strategy can be used when visiting friends, family, or relatives.
Autistic children may develop an attachment to a particular item, for example, a toy or a blanket. It may help to bring this item along when going into public spaces because it gives the child a sense of familiarity and comfort, which may help keep the child calm for the duration of the trip.
Plan ahead when eating at restaurants
Visiting a restaurant can be challenging for an autistic child. To make the outing manageable for a child, it may be helpful to do the following:
Make a reservation at the restaurant ahead of time
Visit restaurants during their quieter hours
Request seating in a booth away from the play areas or bathrooms to reduce sensory stimulation
Pre-order meals
Request the bill before dessert to prevent the child from getting frustrated with waiting
Additionally, parents should request permission to bring the child’s favourite food along, as some autistic children have very specific dietary preferences.
Try rewards charts
Some autistic children exhibit defiant behaviour, and, therefore, it is crucial to utilise strategies to encourage compliance. One strategy that can be used at home and at school to achieve cooperation is a rewards chart.
Since many autistic children often have very particular interests, it is vital to ensure that the rewards chart is meaningful and appealing. For example, if a child has an intense obsession with a particular superhero, the rewards chart should incorporate that infatuation to gain a child’s interest and, consequently, compliance.
When trying to encourage compliance from autistic children, parents are advised to provide as much praise as necessary and to reduce such praise gradually as children exhibit increased cooperation.
Take care of yourself
Lastly, parents are very often the primary caregivers of autistic children. To be able to give to others, your cup cannot be empty. It is, therefore, crucial that parents attend to their needs and mental wellbeing such that they are well-equipped to face the challenges that accompany caring for an autistic child.
Parents should make time for self-care and join support groups to draw social support to prevent feelings of isolation they sometimes experience.
Although the challenges are present, they do not make parenting any less rewarding. By implementing tips and tricks in your daily life, caring for an autistic child may become more manageable.
We are Speech Language Pathologists and Audiologists. We provide therapy at various school in the East Rand, and deal with a wide range of communication delays and disorders. Tamaryn and Simone have been friends for 10 years
Once there was a red balloon that lived in a house with a family. Every day the red balloon got bigger and bigger without anyone noticing. One day the balloon popped with a loud bang and everyone in the house got a nasty fright.
Anger is often like the red balloon in that it builds up slowly over time until it explodes over a seemingly small incident/event. Aggressive behaviour is learned through the modelling of significant others. If you handle your anger like the red balloon, your children might learn that aggression is the best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions. Eventually these emotions could cause school difficulties, anxiety and relationship problems.
Emotional control, however, creates a feeling of security and peace within a family. It is thus important for us as parents to ensure that our emotions and our reactions in response to our emotions are equal. For example, when you are angry, you do not have to express that anger by yelling or throwing things. Feeling angry is not wrong, but the way you express it might be wrong.
As parents we have the responsibility to teach our children how to deal with their emotions in effective and appropriate ways. The following tools can help you manage your emotions more effectively:
If you realise that there are often outbursts among family members, write down your emotions and thoughts. Keeping a journal will help you gain perspective.
Humour can help you feel more in control over stressful circumstances.
Take deep breaths. This will help to not only relieve some of the tension but will also give you a few moments to think more clearly.
Focus all your attention on something in your environment or something on yourself, like the garden outside your window or the pattern on your dress or shirt. This technique can help you gain control over your emotions.
Research has shown that there is a close link between a healthy marriage and successful parenting. It is therefore a good idea to invest in building a healthy relationship with your wife/husband. A good way to do this is by going away for a weekend or having planned date nights, to help you reconnect with your partner.
Build your self-knowledge. Who am I? What is my personality like? Self-knowledge can help you gain insight into your own behaviour and emotions.
Be mindful of external factors that could contribute to your emotions. For example, are you eating healthy foods, exercising, getting enough sleep? Are you stressed and worried?
We are Speech Language Pathologists and Audiologists. We provide therapy at various school in the East Rand, and deal with a wide range of communication delays and disorders. Tamaryn and Simone have been friends for 10 years
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