4 Ways to Improve Your Living Authentically, So you can be a living Example for Your Children So They can grow into adults who are content within themselves.
I was sitting in the third row close to the middle when the man on the stage said, “if you are not true to yourself, then it is impossible to lead others.” The year was 2000 and the man was John C. Maxwell. Over the years, John’s words have again and again come back to me. The question he asked. Are you being true to yourself? Over the years I have asked over 7,500 parents the same question.
Parenting requires authenticity. I define authenticity as the alignment of belief, thought, words, and actions in your everyday living. This requires a time of self-focus on those four areas.
Examination of Beliefs Most people think they know what they believe. However, when I ask parents to write down their top ten values most get stuck at five, several get to seven no one has gotten to ten. So, write down those values. How far did you get? We will get back to that.
Paying attention your thoughts and your beliefs flow together with them.The old saying as a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes. Is true. Our thoughts are affected by our beliefs. So, another way to check our beliefs is to examine our thoughts. How does what you think reflect your beliefs or what you thought you believed? Get the two to line up. Once your beliefs and thinking are fully aligned it helps the two outer or public areas to fall into place. Your values are the most closely tied to your beliefs. However, your conscious thoughts are framed by your unconscious values. If your values and your thoughts are at odds you can live a very conflict cited love fe. Get these three aligned an your authenticity living will flow much smoother.
Once the inner self is examined, do your words and actions align with your beliefs and your thoughts to reflect authenticity?
Monitor what Comes Out of Your Mouth What we think we often end up saying. In addition, what we say little ears hear and they repeat. More importantly little hearts hear and believe. This determines not only what they believe about themselves and the world. It creates the beliefs they use to create their own authenticity. One thing to always remember is you are the authority in your child’s life. Whatever you say they will both believe and internalize. We often say words are not important, but the truth is words are the most powerful force for good or ill in the world.
Behave in Ways which Reinforce your Authenticity If I said it to one parent I have said it to thousands. “”Do as I say, not as I do”. Does not work, and it never did. The absolute truth is if you want a better life for your children, and every parent does. You have to live the life you want them to exceed. Parents are the model children emulate for their lives.
How to Use Authenticity in Parenting. I have a question for you. Are you talking about and encouraging your children to live the same way through conversation and moral support?
Living authentic lives requires coaching and mentoring. Parents can talk about children living their lives based on what they themselves believe. As long as it does not cause hurt, harm, or danger parents can support a child’s belief, even if they know their children need more information to make a better choice. Teaching kids to live authentically requires all five steps of mentoring.
The five steps of mentoring are teaching, coaching, counseling, negotiating, and listening.
Teaching authentic living requires living it, talking about your successes and challenges, listening to your children talking about their successes and challenges, clearing up misconceptions and discussing mistakes.
Coaching requires being there to listen and give feedback.
Counseling means being a siding board and asking thought providing questions, then leaving them to make their own decisions.
Negotiating comes into play as you discover real differences between you. You need to work through your differences, and come up with something you can both live with.
Listening with both an open mind and an open heart is the only way to help your child to develop true authenticity.
In this world being true to yourself is not easy. Getting there is difficult, but getting there and helping your children get there, makes life worth living. Living in ways which are gratifying in immeasurable ways. Good Luck!
Resources Using an Authenticity Audit can help you to begin aligning your beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions. Here is a link to one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j-VyDAbY_k
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