I have shopped for two failed adoptions and my baby so you could say I have had some experience with shopping for a baby. Excitement can quickly lead to buyer’s remorse and your house full of crap. Mothers are a marketing executive dreams. They know just how to make you feel like your child will miss out without their product. I am also pretty sure no new mum will listen to any of this…
A HUGE pram
Prams are like cars. We want the coolest looking one that looks like a little baby hotel for our precious. Now baby is here and you realise that lovely pram with all the extras weighs as much as a smart car and you need to be a Sumo wrestler to put the pram in your boot. That’s if it even fits.
What to get instead: There are some great lightweight pushchairs that are suitable from birth reclines to almost flat. If you really must just get the all frills baby hotel buy it second hand .
They will outgrow this so fast that it’s not worth the bother and just another thing you need to list on Gumtree or fill up the space where your car is supposed to be.
What to get instead: Purchase an inexpensive bath support or get into the bath with the baby providing additional bonding time with your newborn.
This special bin that deals with stinky nappies is a coveted item for most expectant mothers. I was no exception. I was ready to sign a community property contact with my bad boy.
I am convinced this is a clever marketing tool to suck you into buying ridiculously expensive cartridge refills. Just like drug dealers Marketers Know the real money is in the come-back.
What to get instead: Scented nappy packets and a simple lidded nappy bucket will do the trick. If you must have one, You can have mine.
You will end up changing your baby on the bed and everywhere else with a changing mat within the first three months. Been there done that got the t-shirt!
Kennedy had 15 pairs of adorable shoes. Some were designer shoes and she couldn’t even walk yet. Do you think Kennedy gave a monkeys that they cost more than any shoes I have ever owned… nope. She fussed so much every time I put them on.
What to get instead: Socks are enough. She is 14 months and only recently stopped kicking off her shoes.
Lots of newborn sized clothes
At this point I am starting to sound like a buzz kill. This is all the fun about being pregnant. The ooh-ing and aah-ing at those teeny little money wasters.
Marketing execs know how much we want a mini-me. Why do you think a newborn can now wear skinny jeans and leather jackets?
What to get instead: Wait for the gifts and then wait till your baby can walk before making them tiny trendsetters. Baby growers is all they need until then.
Ugh. Just run the bottles under hot water already!
What to get instead: nothing.
A cot bumper
Something about having a baby makes us mothers have a penchant for matching items… that is the lure. A tiny duvet with the tiny pillow just doesn’t seem enough of a set.
I still can’t understand why these are actually still being sold. The second you hear about SIDS (and for every paranoid second thereafter), it’s game over for these little death traps.
I have yet to find a parenting or medical site that has anything good to say about bumpers.
Just another thing for you to wash.
What to get instead: nothing.
Tons of toys for a tiny baby
Newborns don’t need them and will spend most of their time sleeping, feeding and gazing at you! If you really do need stuffed animals you can come to my house and collect these dust collectors.
What to get instead: After three months I would get a few noisemakers and then add once they crawling and can actually interact with your surroundings.
Newborn-sized feeding bottles
Baby feeding bottles in a smaller size designed for newborns become useless in very little time.
What to get instead: Normal size bottles 260ml and buy a few slow release teats if you need to.
Scaled-down Baby Wardrobe
Let’s just be honest here…they will not be willing to or able to hang their own clothing until they can reach a normal sized one anyway.
What to get instead: Normal-sized bedroom furniture and add a small step stool for higher shelves once they are older.
Baby Cartoon curtains and wallpaper
Just don’t it! I promise your baby will not complain that their nursery was not cute enough.
If you can’t imagine the design on the wall of a six-year-olds bedroom, It’s a waste!
What to get instead: An age-neutral design for anything expensive is a good idea and add ‘baby appeal’ with removable pictures and accessories.