Advice Column, Parenting

Time to get my Sexy Back!

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My life has changed completely since having children. Some of it has been quite shocking, like my boobs that look more like bananas than the “melons” I used to have. Yes some of it is age as I am heading towards 36 years old, but the changes since I had children have been huge. I take off my bra and these boobs take a plunge. Probably the only reason they don’t hit my knees and bounce back up is because my bulging stomach keeps them in place!

But it is so much more than a flabby, stretch-marked stomach and saggy boobs that has happened in the last few years. I used to take care of myself and feel good about myself (and I had plenty of time to do that). Mornings now consist of breastfeeding, packing lunches, changing nappies, brushing babies teeth and wiping bums. I find everyone by the door ready to go on time, all scrubbed up, looking smart and ready for the day and I look down at myself in horror and realise I have about 30 seconds to do my hair, get dressed, wash my face and brush my teeth. The days of getting myself ready and spending time deciding what I am going to wear are long gone. I now pull on my trusty jeans, a pair of flat shoes and the closest relatively clean top. As long as my clothing doesn’t have poop or puke on it that fits the requirements for the day. I arrive at the creche looking like a dogs breakfast and see all the other moms dropping their kids off looking like they have just stepped out of a salon and I wonder how on earth they do it?

I don’t know if other moms are the same, but when my 1st baby was 2 months old I realised I had been wearing my PJ’s every day, yes I washed them but I didn’t bother getting dressed every morning because I was just so tired and spent all my time breastfeeding and lying on the bed with my baby. I didn’t know it at the time but I am sure I had PND. When I realised I was only managing to brush my teeth at 11am every day and only put clothes on if someone was coming to visit I made a conscious effort to get up every morning, get dressed and washed immediately. And it was an effort for me. After the birth of my 2nd baby I made sure that from day 1 I got up and dressed for the day immediately.

BC (before children) every week I would have a bath night that would consist of washing, conditioning and treating my hair, shaving (yes everywhere not just a rush armpit job!), a facial etc. I would then blow dry my hair nicely, lather myself in some lekker cream and I was ready for the week ahead. This is a thing of the past. If I get in the bath now I fall asleep within minutes. I wake up in a cold bath, wrinkled like a prune, hair not washed, still hairy as a baboon and freezing cold. I jump out, dry myself and climb into bed. Not very productive but at least I catch up on a bit of sleep behind closed doors where nobody can disturb me.

I want my sexy back! I have never been a sexy, model type but I did feel good about myself and look groomed and smart when I went out. The focus of my life has turned completely towards my kids and my husband. I have not bought any new clothing for myself since the children arrived and I find myself looking grubby and worn on a constant basis.

2015 is going to be a year of change for me. I am going to work on fitness, health and looking after myself again. I am going to get some sexy new underwear, pull out all my high heels, blow dry my hair and put some make up on.

I challenge any mom that is feeling the same to join me in a mission to Get Our Sexy Back!

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