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I spent my Mother’s Day plotting how I can become a more selfish mom

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Like most moms out there, my plate’s more than full.

I’m a wife to an amazing husband who I fall in love with daily (well, most days anyway). I’m a mother to an incredible, happy little human being whom I just adore. I’m a daughter, a daughter in-law and a sister to a loving, slightly crazy, ever-growing family. I’m a Creative Director to an advertising agency that likes to keep me on my toes. And I’m co-owner of Mammas’ Meeting Place, which I guess one could call my other baby.

I am all these things to all these people. And all these people require some form of emotional investment, time, thought, energy and effort from me. This I give willingly and happily. But being so many things to so many people means I have no idea who I am to myself. There simply isn’t enough time, thought, energy and effort left for me.

I’m not alone in this. Many moms I talk to, no matter their situation, feel stretched beyond recognition. It’s the blessing/curse of being a mom. Putting others before themselves. Giving up their time. Their money. Their sleep. Their food. Their gift cards. Their clothes. Their yoga classes… They give, give, give, give and give some more. But they never give to themselves.

A mom’s ability to be selfless and multitask are her greatest superpowers, but it can also be these superpowers that ultimately kill her. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. You see, if you keep being a martyr, if you keep adding more, and more and more to that plate of yours, at some point it’s going to crack right down the middle, and everything you piled on to it, is going to come crashing to the floor.

I learnt that the hard way.

I recently spent some time in hospital. A short, agonizing stay that helped me gain a little perspective. I can’t say running myself ragged put me there. But it certainly contributed.

So this is where all ‘this’ is coming from. This is why I spent the day that celebrates the Multi-tasking, Superpower-wielding Mom, plotting how I could become a more selfish individual.

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