Advice Column, Pregnancy, Pregnancy & Baby

Pregnancy the second time round

  • Kaboutjie
  • Category Advice Column, Pregnancy, Pregnancy & Baby

Pregnancy the 2nd time around is so much easier, it is amazing how different it can be!

My first pregnancy was tough, the first trimester was easy except for the tiredness and of course going off my prescription meds for bipolar which was rocky to say the least! The second trimester the heartburnand pelvic pain kicked in and the third trimester was absolute hell, I was the grumpiest, fattest, sore, most unglamorous pregnant woman ever. Pregnancy glow? Not me! If you want to hear about my 3rd trimester struggles and birth click here.

This pregnancy has been completely different. One of the first signs of pregnancy I had was morning sickness which I never had at all last time. What I want to know is who named it “morning sickness” for starters? It must’ve been a man! There was nothing morning about it, it was all day, all night and horrible. For 2 months I couldn’t decide if I would rather puke on my desk or sleep on it and every day was a struggle. The worst was that if I got even slightly hungry I would get nauseas and I would have to eat. Eating when you want to throw up is not a good feeling!

I am now mid 2nd trimester and it is also very different, I have had a bit of heartburn but nothing that a bit of chewing gum can’t fix. Yes you heard right, chewing gum! Thanks to a tip from a Facebook page fan. Last pregnancy I drank a bottle of Gaviscon a day, didn’t even bother with a spoon just chugged it down straight out the bottle. I have no idea why I kept doing that because it just didn’t work… I suppose it was just so bad I tried to convince myself that this time maybe it will?

Other than the odd bit of heartburn the 2nd trimester so far has been relatively easy. I have had some pelvic pain but nothing more than an irritation. I remember before I suffered a lot worse, but that might be because I remember how bad it can get in the 3rd trimester and I know what I am feeling now is nothing compared to what is coming my way.

Another unpleasant symptom started yesterday – I sneezed and yes if you have been pregnant you know what happened: I peed in my pants! It was quite amusing because talking to customers that know I am pregnant they always ask how the pregnancy is going, so yesterday one of my customers inquired about my pregnancy and before I could think about it I told her all good, just peed in my pants but otherwise fine. It is quite amusing sometimes the way moms can share and talk about these things. She told me it is a milestone and she has had 3 kids, so it is all part of the process. I must remember to be a little less “sharey” – I mean who tells a customer that they just peed their pants?

The other huge difference in this pregnancy is I still look like a normal person, just with a bump! Last pregnancy I just ballooned, everything just got so fat and frumpy. Some people tell me I am big now, and I just smile thinking yeah I can show you big! I am pretty much the same size, except of course my tummy has suddenly popped out. It is quite nice to be pregnant without a double chin and chipmunk cheeks, but I am under no illusion it will stay like this, I am mentally prepared and know that I hit well over 95kgs last time! I am now sitting at a healthy 79kgs, maybe more than most pregnant women pick up by this time but compared to last time I feel like a Victoria’s Secret model!

Last week I went for my second scan and the “girl” I was told I was having at my 12 week scan has a winky! There was great excitement in the family and to be honest I was quite pleased. This might sound really strange, but I was so happy I was happy. The reason is that with my first baby I desperately wanted a girl and I got my little girl. When I found out this time I was pregnant once again I desperately wanted another girl. I can’t tell you why, I have nothing against little boys but for some reason I just wanted another girl. I was anxious before my 12 week scan and when he told me it was another girl I was so relieved and happy, I didn’t pay too much attention when he said they are usually 70% right when they do a 12 week scan. At my 20 week scan the gyni asked me if I want to know the sex and I confidently said thanks, but I already know it is a girl and he grinned and pointed at this little thing on the screen and asked me “Well then what do you think that is?”. My first reaction was excitement and happiness, I just thought “OMW I am having a little boy!”. I didn’t expect that at all, I thought I would be filled with disappointment and I am so glad that I only felt pure joy and excitement.

The first thing I did on my way home after the scan was stop at my husband’s work to tell him he will have to find another nickname for “Sandy”, something like “Willy” might be more appropriate. He was so surprised and happy. It was amazing to see the happiness and excitement from all our family members and friends when we told them we are having a boy.

Of course all jokes aside it means that we had to start all over again with names! No, we didn’t have one picked out already but we had found 2 that we both quite liked. The problem is that we have very different ideas of what we like and the names he loves I absolutely hate and vice versa, so to find just one name that we both think is ok is a miracle, never mind one we would both like to actually name our child.

What also gets me is that veryone wants to get involved with the name choosing and for some reason this gets me going big time. When we had decided on my daughter’s name (Calista) someone very close to me said “Oh that’s nice, but Calisto is much better, why don’t you change it?” Ummmm no because it is Calista and I don’t want to change it! This time a few people have made suggestions and it grates me because I am a fussy person and I know what I like and what I don’t…. so if someone suggests something and I say “No thanks” and they say something like “But why not, it’s a nice name, you should use it” I can feel my blood boiling and I am so tempted to say “No it is an ugly name, I would never choose that, stop pushing me to use an ugly name!”

But of course then I will be labelled the emotionally unstable pregnant lady so I can’t, I just smile and nod and try and divert the conversation. Am I so strange for wanting to just discuss it with my husband only and not share any ideas we have and try and cut people off when they want to make suggestions…. or maybe I am the crazy pregnant lady? I can just picture people whispering around me in future…. “Careful, don’t mention names around that hormonal cow, she’ll chew your ear off!”

I kinda feel bad for this baby because with my first baby I got so excited and within 1 week I had visited my GP, gyni, counsellor, psychiatrist and midwife, plus I called Discovery to inform them of my pregnancy and was slightly disappointed by the lady that told me “oh um, you’re 6 weeks…. you can call us in a few months if you like”. I also read everything I could find on pregnancy, childbirth, newborns… you name it and I read it. I also followed my pregnancy week by week and updated everyone on what my little baby was busy with, how big she probably was & how much she weighed. I was completely obsessed. With this poor baby it took me ages to make it to the gyni and when someone asks me how far I am I have to have a good think and sometimes look at the calendar to check how many weeks.

Which reminds me, I still have to call Discovery and book the hospital bed!

How was your pregnancy the 2nd time around? Were your pregnancies very different?

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