Advice Column, Parenting

Leading By Example

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There’s this old saying which goes “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. This resonates with me as I realise that in being a mom, a wife, a friend, a family member, a small business owner, and an employee I forgot to be me.

I have been giving and sharing and assisting so much that I am running on empty and did not even realise it. “Eleanor” has been getting the short end of the stick so long it became the norm and I was not living up to my own potential, just doing what has to be done and that is not how I want to live.

When I resigned from my full time job earlier this year to pursue a life where I’m part time corporate and part time business owner (while being full time mom) I had a whole other picture in my mind.

I envisioned more free time and less stress.  I was going to be on top of my game and do it all myself.

I thought what I was doing it to improve my quality of life, but instead the fear of failing in my new venture ended up with me running myself ragged.

I lost sight of the point of the life change which was to be more present in my own life and that sucked.

But no more! If I am going to be a good mom I first need to be a healthy fulfilled person.

The first step was to work on the three most important points;  

1. My health and fitness

2. My mental health (anxiety)

3. My need for me time

I recently joined an online fitness community/support group, when asked why I wanted to get into shape the answer was simple…I did not want to be ashamed of my body anymore I wanted to run on the beach and play with my son without fear. For this reason I vow to eat better and fit in physical fitness wherever I can.

I also paid a visit to my psychologist who I have not seen in three years to talk about my anxiety and I have vowed to give myself “me time every day”. When it comes to parenting , I want to be a better me so I can raise a better him.

My whole new philosophy is now teaching by example and improving myself as a way of showing him that changing for the better is always possible.

I can’t expect him to eat healthy but stock the fridge with junk.

I can’t expect him to be fit and outdoorsy but spend all my time in front of my computer or TV.

I can’t expect him to respect me if I am unhappy with myself and do not respect myself.

I can’t expect him to treat others with kindness if I do not live compassion every day.

I realise it will not be easy, I realise that sometimes I will lose my way, but when I see him interact with people and in his little hand gestures and speech inclinations I hear me, I see me, I realise that I need to build a better me in order to ensure a better him.

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  • Saudi November 30, 2017 at 3:50 am

    Lovely post, will be visiting this site regulary

    Reply

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