Advice Column, Parenting

Divorce Agreement… Divorce Agreement

  • South African Divorce Support Association
  • Category Advice Column, Parenting

When going through a relationship breakup, the two words, “Divorce” and “Agreement”, seldom go well together.

The journey to signing the Divorce Agreement is fraught with stress and emotional uncertainty and inevitably leaves one feeling like they have lost all control over their life.

In reality, the only thing you have control over, is yourself. So while you are trying to control the outcome of the divorce and your soon to be ex, you loose sight of the most important thing which needs to be managed, your emotions. As long as you are driven by hurt, sadness and anger, you will remain blinded by the fact that your impending divorce is in fact part of the solution. If you do not see it that way, the Divorce Agreement will be a Divorce “Dis” agreement, keeping you from moving forward and create a new future for yourself.

In order to do so, keep track of the following:

  • Take it a day at the time
  • The divorce does not define who you are
  • It takes 2 people to make a good relationship and so does it take 2 people to make a good divorce
  • There is no resolution for your past. Your past cannot be changed. It is what it is. But today you can choose to make a better future
  • A divorce is not about winning so loose the need to win
  • Do not expect things from your soon to be ex, in the divorce, that did not happen in your marriage
  • A divorce is an emotional process first and foremost

So when it is time to sign your Divorce Agreement, accept that you are not letting your marriage go, but rather, you are accepting your reality as an opportunity for new beginnings and not as you thought it should have been

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