Living your values
In order to move forward clearly, we need to know what drives us. Without our living values we will do, but without truly knowing why.
Knowing your living values are important because they inform the truth of who you are at your core! We are more valuable than we have given ourselves credit (not in an egotistical narcissistic way) but truly as an individual you bring something beautifully unique to this world – that is you – and it has been alive in you since you were a child. By staying true to our living values in our personal lives, we are able to maintain a high level of integrity in our relationships, health, career and finances.
The problem with most values are that they end up being generic and not specific to what really deeply matters to us.
I’ve struggled with values (especially throughout my years as a creator of brands). So many clients had the same values, like they were just emulating what their competitors were about without taking the time to think carefully about what their values really meant and whether they could truly live up to them.
Defining my living values has meant being able to get really clear on what is essential to me and my service, and what is not. There are no grey areas when it comes to creating a clear authentic value proposition that resonates or rings true for the coach, and therefore on a conscious and subconscious level ring true for their clientele.
Values come alive when we track and measure whether we are living our values in real time. If not, then what do we need to change tweak or craft to ensure 100% alignment and resonance? And probably most importantly: whatever values I end up refining need to naturally come from the heart of who I am inherently as an individual.
To live up to our values we need to be authentic.
- Bring to mind some poignant moments in your life that have affected you. Dig deep. What was the value you learnt or stood up for?
- Get absolutely real about what moves you and what doesn’t. Distil your values down to your top 3.
- Don’t take this lightly. Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t judge. Express yourself authentically.
- Get specific through writing a thorough description of each of your values.
We can only live our values through checking in with them often. When you find yourself doubting whether your values are the right ones for you, go back to what matters to you most (that which feels most alive good and true for you) and add to or adjust them accordingly. There you will find the affirmation of whether or not they still ring true. Your life is an adventure and these are your top 3 living values – which you choose to create from and live into the world. Take your time to be really honest about what core attributes you feel deeply resonate with you.
My personal living values that I have infused my profession with are clarity, care and courage.
Let’s start with clarity: My father always told me as a kid to focus (I was easily excitable and being highly creative, my attention would jump from this to that) if there’s one thing I deeply value from what he taught me, it is to be able to focus your mind – focus your attention – activate the law of attraction. Know what you want and go for it (don’t spend hours thinking about what you don’t want / lost relationships / what you didn’t get etc.) Just sit calmly and get clear (this is harder than it sounds and I know for sure that having a coach at the critical moments in my life would have made the world of difference in helping me get clearer quicker).
Then care: I’ve always been told that I have a calming energy – a peaceful presence, and that I wear my heart on my sleeve. These aren’t attributes that I tried to fabricate or pretend to be – and being told this by others helped make me aware of the nature of my essence as an individual. I’ve come to understand through my coaching practice how crucial these attributes are in holding my clients in a safe authentic space.
And calm: People who have met me, as well as those who know me well have most often commented on how calm I am. I guess through spending a lot of time in my own imagination, due to preferring to remain calm and take control of a calm state within me – was how I disengaged from the chaotic world that I saw outside of me.
Years of meditation, martial art and prayer have no doubt strengthened my access to calm.
Then lastly courage: It’s honestly when I got to the top of my branding career, and had the fast car, the cool image – that I realised how utterly disconnected I had really become from what really mattered to me – and that if I was to live the life I knew mattered to me, that I was going to have to jump ship from a cushy comfortable monthly salary a month. I did it. I took the leap of faith and started my own business (which I have never regretted doing).
Look at what brings meaning to your life – what feels essential to you (when you clear all of the flotsam and jetsum out of the way – you get closer to what really matters to you).
What are you living? What have you lived through? What experiences have made you stronger? – these can be gifts to the world through your sharing them. Because life has given you the license to teach these things to others to help them and be of service. And very importantly get nuggets of wisdom from your friends and family members about what they feel is unique about you as an individual.
Hiring a life or career coach to support you on your journey will be a priceless investment.
To have a chat regarding support for yourself, your son or daughter, please get in touch with me on email@example.com or +27 82 320 5570