Toddler - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Creating a good self-esteem with your preschooler

Healthy self-esteem is like a child’s armour against the challenges of the world. In the early years a child is still developing ideas about himself. These are largely based on his interactions with others. These opinions that a child has about himself forms his self-esteem. Lynn van Jaarsveld, Principal of Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Little Falls, gives some guidelines to help build a positive self-esteem: make rules that are reasonable praise accomplishments—rather than ignore and punish remember the value of positive statements be neither over-protective nor under-protective help your child to deal with failure in a constructive manner show your child that you love them affirm your child’s worth spend time, plenty of time with your child pray with your child encourage independence teach your child responsibility never make comparisons between children don’t expect perfection Most important of all, is to have fun with your preschooler. Kids who know their strengths and weaknesses and feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are realistic and generally optimistic. Taking responsibility and pride in who you are as parents is a sure sign of healthy self-esteem and the greatest gift you can give to your child. By Lynn van Jaarsveld (Principal of Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Little Falls)

November 20, 2023

The Pros and Cons of Imaginary Friends

In preparation for writing this article, I turned to Google and found that there are many articles discussing children’s imaginary friends available on the internet. There is rarely a mention of cons, but plenty of pros and they all agree on some general information. Children usually create an imaginary friend around the age of 3-4. This friend can stay with them for a number of years, but on the whole they seem to disappear when the child is in the first year or two of primary school. There are instances where the friend remains as part of the child’s life further into primary school, but this is not the norm. First born children are more likely to have imaginary friends and it is slightly more common for girls to have imaginary friends. They will grow up knowing the difference between reality and fantasy, just like their peers who do not have imaginary friends. The friend may be a person, usually another child, an animal of some sort or the personification of a stuffed toy. They may even replace a real friend who lives far away. There was a time when a child having an imaginary friend was seen as strange and in some way this reflected poor parenting skills. There was the feeling that the child must be lonely and socially inept. Although parents may still feel a little uncomfortable or unsure of how to deal with the issue, it is generally accepted that having an imaginary friend is quite normal for a child. They may be there to help the child through a big transition in their lives, or just as a part of the child’s imaginative play. Children with imaginary friends are usually socially well-adjusted and interact well with real-life friends. Creative, imaginative play comes very easily to young children and listening to their conversations, it is quite common to hear something like; “…and then you told me to go to the cupboard to fetch the cups” “…and you fetched the cups and then you poured the tea” “…and then I wanted some cake too”. Children will make suggestions regarding the direction that the ‘game’ is heading in and there is usually someone who is the ‘boss of the game’. They are fully aware that what they are doing is a game, but they are able to discuss different behaviours and can test options with their friends. The child with an imaginary friend is engaging in the same activities, imagining how a friend might react or behave. While engaging with an imaginary friend, the child has the opportunity to take both sides of the situation into account and to express emotions and feelings that are not easy to express outside of that situation. They can test ideas and social skills, while being in complete control of the situation. Children will sometimes test a parent’s reactions by telling them that “Georgie” says this or that, waiting to see if that is acceptable to the parent. They will even blame their imaginary friend if they have done something wrong or readily suggest that he was the one who made a mess in the room. It is a good idea not to over-react, but ensure that the imaginary friend also adheres to the morals and norms of the family. The child may need to ‘help’ their friend to tidy up the room or tell their friend that it is not acceptable to be unkind or unfriendly. They still need to be accountable for their own actions. Children might project their own anxieties or fears on to the imaginary friend, so it is probably worthwhile for parents to listen to the conversations and pick up clues about what the child is currently thinking or feeling. As much as parents want to encourage their children to achieve academic and sporting success, they should be eager to encourage the development of their child’s language, critical thinking skills and imagination, all of which are developed with imaginative/ pretend play of all sorts. Parents should provide lots of opportunities for children to explore books and play imaginatively with dress-up items and play along with their children. Although children know that their imaginary friend is not real, if they become withdrawn and do not interact socially with others, it might be time to seek professional help. This would also apply if the imaginary friend is aggressive, depressed or anxious. So it seems to be the consensus that if a child has an imaginary friend, just relax, be happy that your child has a good imagination and know that it is not only normal, but good for your child’s overall creative development. Written By: Shirley Edwards (Teacher at Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Randpark Ridge)

November 17, 2023

3 Ways to Encourage Imagination at All Stages

Activities that encourage imagination play a vital role in childhood development at all stages. From birth, children are constantly learning about the world. While senses such as touch, smell, sound, taste, and sight are essential for development, skills such as imagination are also important to help with thinking, spatial awareness, problem-solving, reading, and various other functions that help your child from early childhood all the way through to adolescence. To help encourage imagination in your child, there are a few key steps you can take. Keep reading to find out more. How to Encourage Imagination at Every Stage Some of the most effective ways to encourage imagination at all stages of childhood include the following: 1. Stories Reading is a skill that will see your child through until adulthood and beyond. Learning how to picture people, places and situations without physically seeing them is one of the best ways to teach your child how to think outside of the box. But kids don’t only have to read or be read to when it comes to getting the benefits of stories. They can also learn to make up their own stories and later, write their own stories. Once your child is able to imagine a world and all its possibilities through stories, they will be able to process real-world events much more easily. 2. Pretend play Pretend play is great for all ages. Toddlers often learn by mimicking behaviours they see each day. Tea parties, dress-up and other activities help them imagine themselves as moms or dads, superheroes, animals, monsters, princes, princesses or anything else they want to be. In older kids, pretend play takes the form of acting. All pretend play helps kids to act out scenarios and make sense of the world in a way that is gentle and fun. 3. Art It goes without saying that art is an excellent tool for boosting imagination. Art is a good tool for developing right-brained activity. While colouring in and doing specific art-based activities are good for fine motor skill development, freestyle art is best for letting your child express themself and experiment. Painting, drawing, collages and other art forms that require kids to think, strategise and play around with colour, texture, shapes, and elements will help your child unlock free-thinking abilities that stem from a creative, expressive place rather than the logical left brain. Our baby, toddler and playschool classes are made to help your child develop key skills needed at all stages of development. Get in touch with Clamber Club today to find a class in your area that will encourage imagination in your child.

November 16, 2023

Why Organic Is Best For Your Baby And Toddler

In 2019, a study by  Healthy Babies Bright Future, an alliance of NGO’s and scientists, found that 95% of conventional baby foods in the US are contaminated with toxic heavy metals including lead, arsenic, mercury and cadmium, which can impact the growth of babies brains, lower IQ, and increase the risk of cancer. It also found that the effects of these toxins are cumulative, and that even low-level exposure in early life was of significant concern.  It’s no coincidence that these poisons are routinely used to produce the chemical fertilizers that are used extensively in conventional farming, and when you add in the toxic pesticides used on these crops, we have a perfect storm which many experts around the world believe is the cause of rising cases of infertility, early puberty in children, cancer, diabetes, obesity, and neurological disorders such as Parkinson’s, ADHD, and autism.  A ground-breaking study published in 1993, “Pesticides in the Diets of Infants and Children”, was the first to focus on the risk of toxic chemicals to this group – prior to this, environmental safety policies had focussed on the assessment of risk to the “average adult”.  The study found that infants and children have a heightened susceptibility to chemicals in the environment. Firstly, children have a greater exposure to toxins compared to adults because they drink and eat more than adults in relation to their body weight. In addition, children’s metabolic pathways and their ability to metabolize chemicals are immature and they lack the enzymes needed to break down and remove these poisons.  Thirdly, children’s early developmental processes are complex and easily disrupted. There are critical periods in early development when exposure to even tiny doses of toxic chemicals—levels that would have no adverse effect on an adult—can disrupt organ formation and cause lifelong functional impairments.  Finally, children have more time than adults to develop chronic diseases. Many diseases triggered by toxic chemicals, such as cancer and neurodegenerative diseases, are now understood to evolve through processes that take many years and that are kicked-off by exposures in infancy.   THE BOTTOM LINE With the current chemical-based system of food production, humans are exposed to increasing levels of toxic chemicals which accumulate in our systems throughout our lives. Early exposure – as infants and children – has been linked to the development of a range of cancers and neurological disorders. By limiting this exposure particularly in the vulnerable early years, through feeding infants and children organically produced food, parents can give their children the best possible chance for a healthy future.

November 16, 2023

Fill your Child’s Love Tank with Touch Therapy

As parents, we do our very best for our children, actively giving them everything we believe they need… and more. So, the idea that their ‘love tanks’ may sometimes be running low is not only hard to believe, but it flies in the face of the love we express for them daily through our words and actions. The 5 Love Languages In a book written by Gary Chapman, called The 5 Love Languages (Moody Press, 1997), the author describes how there are five main ways of expressing and experiencing love (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch). Each of us (including our children) prefers to express and receive love in one or maybe two of these ways. If we can find a way to ‘talk’ the right love language when we’re dealing with a particular person, our needs and the needs of those we love are easier to fulfil. This book is very true, and a later companion book called The 5 Love Languages of Children (Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell M.D.), notes that a child’s preferred ‘love language’ only becomes noticeable from around age five. What about babies and toddlers? Interestingly, when a baby is born, the one area of the brain that is most developed and able to process information is the area devoted to touch perception. And, because little babies and toddlers live on a very physical level, for the most part they experience life and understand the world through their bodies. Babies and toddlers also naturally don’t yet understand abstract concepts like giving and receiving gifts; the underlying value of spending time together; the meaning of words; and the intentions behind acts of service. So it makes sense that young children across the board initially prefer the language of physical touch when it comes to expressing and experiencing love and affection. What is an ’empty love tank’? Simply put, a person suffers from an empty love tank when he doesn’t feel loved and secure in the relationship he has with the important people in his life. How do I know when my child’s love tank is running low? Your little one becomes very clingy. Your little one becomes more demanding than usual, especially when you’re in the middle of something, like a phone call, shopping, or cooking dinner. Your little one cannot deal with simple frustrations (like someone taking their toy) and has a meltdown as if his emotional foundation has been rocked when he doesn’t get his way. Your little one is finding it exceptionally difficult to deal with a ‘big change’, such as a new school, teacher, sibling, moving house, a divorce or any other major life change. The value of Touch Therapy The good news is that you can help to solve two incredibly taxing parenting challenges with one simple remedy: fill your child’s love tank. And how is this done? Well, while filling somebody’s love tank may involve different things for different people, Touch Therapy is by far the most effective way to communicate love and security to young children. When using Touch Therapy, you are literally communicating to your child that he is deeply loved. And, when done correctly, this basic touch-technique tells your child what countless words and actions cannot. Because Touch Therapy helps to fill your child’s love tank, the end result is usually a child who is more emotionally grounded, secure and resilient. So it is also a great method to use when starting sleep training; when a new sibling arrives; when your child is struggling with frustration; when your child is being verbally or physically aggressive; and when your child is sick. Commonly, parents find they interpret their child’s negative behaviour with more insight and empathy once they are aware of the concept of an empty love tank. However, beware of responding by doing Touch Therapy within a few minutes after an ‘incident’ in an effort to soothe your child, because you may inadvertently be rewarding the negative behaviour. In fact, Touch Therapy works best as part of a routine, for instance, every morning and every night at roughly the same point in your waking-up or bedtime sequence of events. Touch Therapy – Step by Step You can do Touch Therapy when your child is lying down, or even sitting on your lap with his back to you. With gentle but firm and rhythmical pressure, use both your hands to hold-and-squeeze his arms very slowly, starting at the shoulders. Repeatedly hold-and-squeeze all the way down his arms until you reach his wrists. At this point, press your child’s hands together. Now, do the same with your child’s legs, starting at his hips and working towards his ankles, ending off by gently but firmly squeezing his feet. Lastly, place your hands over his ears, and hold his head in a firm grip for five to ten seconds. You can repeat this slow and rhythmical ‘massage’ for at least five minutes, and it may make the whole experience more enjoyable for your little one if you sing and recite rhymes to the rhythm of the movements of your hands. Remember, this is a special time – so for these few minutes the atmosphere should ideally be calm, relaxing and free from distractions. As your child’s personality unfolds and develops between the ages of five and eight, he will find himself drawn more towards one of the five love languages as described by Gary Chapman. But it is good to know that for the rest of his life, touch will remain a calming and reassuring experience. And this is true not only for your children, but for you as an adult as well. There is nothing more effective than a good firm hug every now and again to make us feel as if our very existence is solid and worthwhile. This article is written by: The Practica Programme is a comprehensive research- and play-based home programme. This unique system has stood the test of time since 1993, and it comprises of a wooden box with specialized apparatus, parents’ guides, an advisory service and educational newsletters. From birth to 23

November 14, 2023

Surviving the Toddler Years

You’ve heard of the terrible twos and threes. What seems like overnight your sweet, precious baby turns into a willful force of nature that takes every opportunity to test boundaries (and your patience). There’s no doubt that this stage of parenting can leave us feeling unprepared and at war with ourselves – on the one hand we want to enforce boundaries and instill character in our little ones. On the other hand, we just want it to be easy and less like wrestling a drunk elephant. Changes in your toddlers’ behavior at 2 and 3 years old is a necessary developmental stage. This is when their little minds are creating connections at a rapid pace. What might feel like a confusing, frustrating time for parents, is actually an exciting opportunity to develop a strong and well-adjusted human being who has the strength of character to develop to their optimal potential. So, how do we go about parenting in a way that develops strength of character? Your toddler’s role in life Erikson (1959), a revered developmental psychologist, defines the stages or crisis that occur at specific times of our life, the first being Trust vs. Mistrust (0 – 18 months) followed by Autonomy vs. Doubt from 18 months to 3 years. In the first year of your little one’s life, their ‘work’ is to learn trust. They come to learn that they are at the center of your world, and you can be trusted with their whole little being. They are also learning a sense of self and trust in others. This is a wonderful time of bonding and attachment that starts to change at around 18 months. Moving on to the toddler years, a new role emerges – where the primary goal for your toddler is to develop a sense of autonomy. You will probably recognise this shift in priorities as your little one resists help – opting to do things ‘on their own.’ This need for independence, self-sufficiency and self-governance is what drives them. And almost every toddler challenge can be traced back to this one issue – the need for autonomy vs the crisis of doubt that niggles at the back of their minds as they navigate the toddler years. Your role in the toddler years As much as your little one’s role is changing, so is yours. Of course, you are still their source of love, affection and comfort but you now have the responsibility of helping your toddler develop autonomy. Understanding the stage your toddler is in goes a long way in helping you modify your behaviour, and to not see their behaviour as overtly negative. The guiding principle is this: if a toddler is overly controlled or consistently criticised or has no boundaries, he will develop Doubt. Ultimately the way to develop your toddler’s Autonomy is through Supported Independence. This is the secret to parenting that encourages autonomy and the development of character. Supporting independence In the toddler years, you may have the following goals as you support your toddler to develop autonomy: To allow your toddler to take control (autonomy) over feeding themselves and how much they eat To ensure your toddler knows how to read his own sensory load and make adjustments if he is becoming over stimulated To settle himself to sleep at bedtime and resettle in the night To recover from frustrations without resorting to temper tantrums To develop self-control when faced with choices These might sound like crazy, unattainable goals for the toddler years, but be assured that they are possible. The keys to nurturing these goals are: Reflective parenting – or teaching your toddler to read his own cues. Tell your toddler how he is feeling and reflect the state behind the behaviour – for instance if he is having a meltdown because he is tired, don’t say, “You are naughty” rather say, “You are feeling grumpy because you are tired.” This helps him to identify his emotions and will help him monitor his own behaviour later. Less controlling and punitive parenting – If you are consistently trying to control your toddler and punish him as he experiments and learns along the way, he will eventually doubt himself and stop trying to be independent. Or he may end up fighting with you all the time which is not a great emotional start to your lifelong relationship. Firm and clear boundaries – We know that toddlers explore more and develop confidence quicker if the boundary is clear. Get down on your toddler’s level and be clear about what the boundary is and reinforce it. Give your toddler the narrative – Talk to your toddler – a lot. Verbalise what he is doing, how he is feeling, how you are feeling and what the boundaries are. By speaking these thoughts aloud, they will become the words he hears in his own head when you are not there and that is the start of self-regulation through self-talk. Implementing these tools will empower you as a parent to help your little one make the most of their toddler years. Not to mention, make it easier for you to understand their cues and survive the wild, wonderful whirlwind that is toddlerhood!

November 14, 2023

Toddler Development: The Importance of Play

Play is the occupation of children – a child’s work. Even if you don’t know much about the science behind how play impacts a child’s development, most parents instinctively know that children need to play. In the first three years of a baby’s life, they are learning to master the world through movement, language and other cognitive skills. Developing self-esteem and a sense of accomplishment are also on their to-do list and you will see your little one working very hard to achieve these goals through play. As modern parents, when we think play, we think toys or interaction with other little people. These are both great ways to play but it’ll come as no surprise that you are your child’s favourite toy. Just think of the squeals of delight when you are on the floor playing with your little one, in comparison to when they are left to play with a toy alone. Their joy is a cue that your child’s neurons are firing in a way that stimulates huge amounts of brain development and growth. So, before you rush out and buy expensive toys bear in mind that you are really all your little one needs. Having said that, you might be scratching your head wondering how to play, let alone what to play. Playing is something most of us have forgotten how to do as adults but often it only takes a little nudge before you too experience the benefits of play with your little one: closeness, connection and pride. In short, don’t shy away from play! Here are some ideas of what you toddler needs developmentally and how you can use play to encourage these skills: Make believe play – In the third year of life, your toddler will start testing their understanding of roles, interactions and life through pretend play. Create a make-believe play box filled with pretend play items such as dolls, feeding bottles, spoons, cars, hats of various sorts, bags, old phones, glasses, dress up clothes, etc. Play with your toddler as he goes into different roles. Try to have two of each object (not necessarily identical) so you can follow their play and be part of their game. For example, when he picks up a toy phone, you do too and talk to him through the phone. Social play – Your toddler is ready for cooperative social play with a friend. Set up play dates where your little one can engage with another toddler to discover and play games together. Bear in mind your toddler’s sensory profile, they may be slow to warm up on arrival but won’t want to leave. Other little ones might need a few visits to feel at ease. Read your little one’s cues and offer encouragement when you can. Building forts – Building and construction are a wonderful way to develop spatial awareness and planning. Have a stack of blankets or sheets ready, pile up pillows and stuffed toys, Make a fort or tent with your little one, talking your way through it. Ball skills – Toddlers love games of catch, kick and throw. These games provide the basis for gross motor and hand-eye skills used in all sorts of games and sports. In addition to these ideas, you also have finger painting, simple puzzle building, chasing games (and more) to draw from as a way to spend meaningful time with your toddler. Most of all, have fun with your little one! Play, laugh, be silly and be present – whatever the game or kind of play, you will be doing the best for your toddler’s learning and development. Play Sense are the leaders in play-based learning with the first accredited playschool curriculum in South Africa. They have collaborated with Keller Education to unpack the secret to lifelong success in their upcoming webinar: Lifelong Playing on Thursday 4 March at 15:00. Parents are invited to join this insightful and interactive talk where you can get questions about your child’s education answered by our expert speakers. Bookings are essential. All proceeds from ticket sales will be donated to the Elisabeth Yolisa Home for Children. Book your place now!

November 13, 2023

Why Unstructured Play Is Serious Business

The usual advice includes tips on how to help your kids navigate the transition to online learning, how to keep them busy and avoid boredom, and why schedules and routines are important now more than ever. All but one of the bases is covered, and that base is unstructured play. Why Is Unstructured Play Important? Unstructured play, also known as free play, has no specific learning outcome. But don’t let that put you off. Numerous studies show that unstructured play is an important part of your kid’s physical, emotional, mental, and social development. Unstructured play is especially crucial for the development of three skills: Creativity and imagination: The absence of fixed rules allows children to create their own guidelines Problem-solving abilities: During free play, kids work together to solve problems such as who takes the first turn in a game and establishing other rules of play Social skills: Free play encourages kids to take turns, learn to share, and make decisions together How to Encourage Unstructured Play The idea of unstructured play might be completely foreign to parents who value routine. Here are a few tips to help encourage free play among your kids: Don’t Make it Part of a Routine Kids thrive on routine, but extremely rigid schedules and heavy parental control are not always beneficial for their development. A fundamental part of growing up is learning how to tackle new challenges and going beyond predetermined routines. Instead of adding unstructured play to your routine, look for opportunities to incorporate it into your day. For instance, the next time you head out to your favourite burger restaurant, let your kids run wild in the play area. Selected Wimpy Playworlds around the country are open and have all the necessary hygiene protocols in place to let your little one play safely. Let Your Kid Take the Lead If your kid is used to following a set of rules all the time, they never get the chance to think outside the box and practise being in control. If your kid is using their bubble wand as a drum, that’s fine. Stepping in often takes away your kid’s autonomy to create something new. Instead of telling them that their wand is strictly for blowing bubbles, say something encouraging like, ‘I didn’t realise that was a drum. That’s really interesting!’ Bring Playfulness into Everyday Activities Incorporating playfulness into everyday tasks such as clearing the table or cooking dinner turns mundane chores into spontaneous play sessions. You can invite your kids to get creative and add food colouring to their favourite dishes, make square pancakes, or turn the family garden into a pretend farm. In our fast-paced, digitally-enhanced lives, it’s easy to lose sight of an age-old development tool that comes naturally to our kids. You can let your kid learn and thrive by simply giving them the freedom to play – with you, their peers, or on their own.

November 10, 2023

The Screen-Free Sleep Aid Every South African Parent Needs to Know About

In an era marked by rising screen addiction among children, Morphée has introduced an offline innovation designed to mitigate digital dependence and revolutionise sleep. My Little Morphée, an internationally established screen-free sleep aid designed for children aged three to ten, has made its debut in South Africa. Developed in conjunction with a team of international experts including sophrologists, psychologists and hypnotherapists, My Little Morphée has been dubbed an ‘offline oasis,’ shaping the sleep aid landscape by offering a non-digital approach to self-soothing, daytime serenity and peaceful sleep, without the harmful effects of screen exposure. Its key feature being an extensive content library containing 192 audio journeys, spanning eight to twenty minutes, including soothing stories, guided meditations and soft music tracks. Children can choose a travel companion from an array of friendly animals in soothing settings, fostering essential life skills such as boldness, confidence, wisdom and generosity. The product also features nature sounds and white noise, teaching children how to master their emotions and self-regulate. According to Morphée’s South African Brand Manager, Daniella Degens, “We have received numerous positive reviews from our international team regarding the efficacy of My Little Morphée, especially when it comes to children who struggle to self-sooth. Parents also find the safety of its screen-free nature really reassuring, particularly for younger children.” Endorsed by a wide spectrum of international medical professionals including doctors, paediatricians, psychologists, nurses, physiotherapists, sophrologists, yoga practitioners and teachers, My Little Morphée is a trusted choice for parents seeking to provide their children with a healthier and more wholesome alternative to screen-based products. “Distinguishing itself from traditional story boxes, this beautifully designed product serves as a compelling solution to helping families break free from the modern-day challenge of digital devices. It goes beyond entertainment, inviting children to explore a wide range of creative and calming journeys, without the harmful effects associated with screens. Serving as an introduction to self-regulation and meditation, My Little Morphée alleviates anxiety, enhances concentration skills, boosts self-confidence and sooths children to sleep – all of which contribute positively to their overall health and well-being” says Daniella. Designed with French flair, commitment to quality and an APP-free, WiFi-free and screen-free experience, My Little Morphée has been crafted with modern travellers in mind, offering the added convenience of a three-hour battery life. Since its inception in 2008, the brand has experienced exponential growth across six continents, earning numerous international awards, including ‘Best Sleep Product of the Year’ and the ‘Healthy Sleep Awards,’ cementing My Little Morphée’s prominent position on the global stage. Poised to challenge the conventional notion of child entertainment by providing an enriching alternative that captivates children’s imaginations, My Little Morphée emerges as a much-needed screen-free solution for South African parents. Other products in the collection include My Morphée created for adults featuring a comprehensive selection of sophrology and meditation sessions, cardiac coherence and immersive journeys, along with The Morphée Zen designed to manage stress in an instant. Website: https://sa.morphee.co RRP: R2490 including VAT

November 9, 2023

What is your child’s online maturity?

It may feel strange that we’re talking about online maturity when we are showing children aged 7 to 11 years old the right way to play and learn online. The reality is some children have already had extensive exposure to online platforms by the time they are 8 years old. Online maturity plays a huge role in your child’s digital future. How you behave and engage with technology at a young age will determine how you move forward as you get older. Here are the key elements that determine your child’s online maturity: Access to devices Access to online means they can get online to play games, stream TV, watch YouTube channels or have their own device with internet access. Does your child have the freedom to access technology when and as they please? Is there a time limit already set up with rules and boundaries already in place? Who do they access the internet with? If your child is streaming TV, they can access the profile themselves, but are they playing various games or browsing YouTube channels unmonitored? When they go online, do they do it alone, or with a watchful eye behind every click? Are they allowed to access the internet with older siblings, family, or friends? Do you have privacy settings set up on all devices or child-friendly browsers in place? Whether they have supervised access or not, have you taken the steps to protect all devices in the household? Does your family have regular open conversations about the digital world? Do you discuss the dangers of playing online together? The Codey adventure has been designed to appeal to a wide range of ages, however, a child’s individual online maturity and environment will play a large role in his or her experience of the adventure. If at times, the delivery may seem slow, this is a deliberate action, to ensure there is repetition and reinforcement of key concepts. The content is what is important. If your child does have a high online maturity, use this time together to discuss what they know. Use the opportunity to improve your communication and understanding of each other’s perspectives. By starting the conversations now, you are creating a better relationship moving forward. If there is only one change we can make with our future surfers, it must be to – Think. Before you click! Codey Crawler and the Social Kids team will sleep well at night and you as a parent or guardian can rest easy that you are talking to your children about what they do online. We will have a safer, wiser, and kinder internet in the future. Join us – Make the time or use our supervised classes – Just don’t do nothing!

November 8, 2023

Avocados as a First Food for Babies

Your baby is nearing six months and the excitement starts to mount as you prepare to introduce solid foods for the first time. As your baby grows, the ability of breastmilk alone to meet the increasing nutritional needs starts to become limited as it is too low in energy, protein, and minerals like iron and zinc. A variety of nutritionally balanced foods are needed to fill this nutritional gap. With all the do’s and don’ts out there, the great news is that avocados are a nutritionally unique food with suitable consistency and texture to feature as a first food in a baby’s diet. First Food Traditional first foods include cereals, soft porridge (e.g., rice porridge or maize porridge) and pureed vegetables like pumpkin. While these are great options, there are many other foods to add to your baby’s diet from early on. Easy to puree into a consistent texture, avocados work very well as one of the first foods. Compared to traditional first foods, avocados are nutritionally unique, containing healthy monounsaturated fats and a blend of soluble and insoluble fibre. Avocados Pack a Nutrient Punch Good first foods should meet the high nutritional needs of a baby, such as energy, fatty acids, and key vitamins and minerals like vitamin A, the B vitamins, iodine, iron and zinc. Avocados are high in energy, high in healthy monounsaturated fatty acids, naturally free from cholesterol and sodium and are a source of fibre – all key nutrient factors in a healthy and balanced diet for a baby. Avocados are also high in vitamin K (necessary for healthy bones), copper (needed for immune function), and biotin (for skin and hair health), and contain amongst the highest levels of a group of antioxidants called carotenoids (namely lutein and zeaxanthin) of any fruit. Avocados Offer Variety It is good practice from early on to offer your baby a variety of flavours and textures. Now while it is important to start with pureed options as your baby first experiences the change in texture from liquid milk, it is easy to get stuck on pureed butternut and mashed banana. The ability to handle lumpier foods is important long term for your baby’s oral development for speech. Avocados offer a variety of texture options from super smooth to slightly lumpy and this can be easily altered depending on how much you mash the fruit. It’s Play Time A baby’s eating experience is about more than just taste: other senses like sight, feeling and smell are equally important. Allowing babies to play with food is key for motor development. Experiment by adding some avocado slices to the tray of the feeding chair or scooping pureed avo into your little one’s hands. This will encourage your baby to start moving the hand to the mouth to learn the important skill of self-feeding, and in a safe and secure manner. As your baby gets older and masters the pincer grasp, small avocado cubes are a great way to practise this newfound skill. Allergen Awareness Many caregivers make the mistake of not offering babies potential allergenic foods. In fact, introducing potential allergen foods from 6 months may even reduce the risk of allergies, according to research. Introduce potential allergens, like wheat, eggs, and nuts, one at a time, monitoring for 2 – 3 days for signs of a reaction. The great news is that avocado is not a high-risk food when it comes to allergies and can be safely and quickly introduced into your baby’s diet. Remember, it’s important to always offer your baby age-appropriate purees and soft foods, which will differ from young babies just starting out with solids to older babies with more practice in their newfound eating skills. BABY FOOD AVO & PUMPKIN PUREE Butternut or sweet potato can be substituted for the pumpkin. Avocado makes a healthy first food, packed with monounsaturated fats and essential nutrients. Number of servings: 4 Preparation time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 10 mins Total time: 15 minutes Ingredients: ¼ small wedge pumpkin, peeled and cut into cubes ¼ ripe, fresh avocado, halved, pitted, peeled and diced 1 tablespoon apple puree, homemade or readymade (optional) Method: Cook pumpkin in 1 cup of boiling water for 10 minutes until very tender. Drain and cool completely. Mash the pumpkin and avocado in a bowl until smooth. Add apple sauce to taste. Serve baby 1 to 2 tablespoons mixture. Extra puree can be stored covered in the fridge, serve at room temperature. (do not heat in the microwave as the avocado will turn bitter) BABY FOOD AVO CHOCOLATE PUDDING Number of servings: 2Preparation time: 5 minutes Cooking time: 0 minutes Total time: 5 minutes Ingredients: ¼ ripe, fresh avocado, halved, pitted, peeled and diced ½ banana 2 dates, pitted, and soaked in boiling water ½ teaspoon cocoa powder ½ teaspoon vanilla extract Method: Drain the dates, and chop. Place all the ingredients in a food processor and blend to a smooth puree. Serve. References Fewtrell M et al. Complementary Feeding: A Position Paper by the Hepatology, and Nutrition (ESPGHAN) Committee on Nutrition. Journal of Paediatric Gastroenterology and Nutrition. 2017;64: 119–132. Ierodiakonou D, Garcia-Larsen V, Logan A, et al. Timing of allergenic food introduction to the infant diet and risk of allergenic or autoimmune disease. A systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA. 2016;316:1181–92. Comerford KB et al. The Role of Avocados in Complementary and Transitional Feeding. Nutrients 2016, 8, 316; doi:10.3390/nu8050316.

November 7, 2023

BLIPPI MAKES A SPECIAL STOP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA

Global sensation Blippi to delight audiences for the first time in South Africa in all-new live show, Blippi: The Wonderful World Tour from 1 – 10 December 2023 at Theatre of Marcellus, Emperors Palace Blu Blood in association with Round Room Live and Moonbug Entertainment are proud to announce that the new live theatre show, Blippi: The Wonderful World Tour, will for the first time in South Africa, bring the vivacious, energetic, and educational antics of global sensation Blippi to the Theatre of Marcellus at Emperors Palace, Johannesburg on the 1st to 10th December 2023. “With new music, characters, monster trucks, and even the Blippi mobile, we’re thrilled to bring Blippi to even more kids and families around the world in a brand-new show,” said Stephen Shaw, founder and co-President of Round Room Live. “Following the success of Blippi The Musical, we’re excited for audiences to create memorable experiences with Blippi, with all the amazing music, production, and energy they expect, but in a way they’ve never seen before.” For Blippi: The Wonderful World Tour, the character Blippi will be played by professional stage performers selected specifically for the stage show. “It’s very special to witness the love that our fans have for Blippi and his buddies, and the joy this beloved character brings to families around the world,” said Susan Vargo, Head of Live Events at Moonbug Entertainment. “Our live experiences bring families together to make memories that will last a lifetime. With Blippi: The Wonderful World Tour fans can expect catchy music, lots of dancing and a whole lot of fun!” Blippi is coming to Johannesburg for the ultimate curiosity adventure in Blippi: The Wonderful World Tour! So, come on! Dance, sing, and learn with Blippi and special guest Meekah as they discover what makes different cities unique and special. Will there be monster trucks, excavators, and garbage trucks galore? You bet! So get ready to shake those wiggles out and OJ Twist your way through this brand-new musical party! Blippi inspires curiosity in preschoolers around the world by creating content and experiences that are relatable, accessible and make learning fun. Blippi has become a worldwide sensation with more than one billion monthly views across platforms including Netflix, HBO Max, Cartoonito, Sky, Amazon and YouTube and millions of fans around the world. The franchise has expanded rapidly since it was acquired by Moonbug Entertainment in 2020. Blippi is available in more than 20 languages, including ASL, and is distributed by more than 30 global broadcast and streaming partners. Blippi’s buddies Meekah and Juca have spun off into their own shows and Blippi lives off the screen as well with sold-out live events, popular music tracks, and in-demand toys available at all major retailers. Tickets for Blippi: The Wonderful World Tour are available via www.ticketpros.co.za and Spar Payzone kiosks. For tickets and additional information, visit https://bit.ly/3E5G2NV. Fans can visit BlippiOnTour.com now for tour dates and ticket information. FOLLOW BLIPPI ON TOUR Official Website: www.BlippiOnTour.com Facebook: @BlippiOnTour Twitter: @BlippiOnTour Instagram: @BlippiOnTour FOLLOW BLIPPI Official Website: www.Blippi.com YouTube: @Blippi Facebook: @Blippi Twitter: @BlippiOfficial Instagram: @BlippiOfficial

November 1, 2023

Active children sleep better

Exercise is one of the best science-backed ways to improve your sleep and health In our home, generally around 18h00 in the evening, when we’ve had dinner and there’s still some play time ahead of bath, all my son wants to do is move! There’s running and playing tag, kicking a ball in the garden, riding his bike in the road or doing exercises with dad in his gym garage. Of course, I am all for it, as I am well aware of how important it is to include exercise into our daily lives. In many homes most children tend to spend hours every day in front of a screen (TV’s, smartphones or tablets) looking at a variety of media, whether it be games or YouTube videos or cartoons. Too much screen time and not enough physical activity add to the problem of childhood obesity. Obesity is a fast-growing disease in South Africa, with one in eight children now living with obesity. Parents should try to limit screen time for children. Screen times for children from 2 – 5 years old shouldn’t exceed 1 hour a day and if they’re younger than 18 months it shouldn’t be encouraged at all. The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends zero screen time for children under the age of 2 years old. An odd video-chat with family would be suitable but not right before bedtime. (That’s of course one of the positives of technology). Children that have regular exercise, even if it means being active through play will grow, have stronger muscles and bones, develop important motor skills, have leaner bodies that result in a lower chance of getting type 2 diabetes and lower blood pressure. Besides enjoying the health benefits of regular exercise, fit children also sleep better. In a New Zealand study, researchers looked at how much time it took for inactive children to fall asleep versus active children. What they found was that it took children three more minutes to fall asleep for every hour that child was inactive or only sitting. That means that a child who plays video games or watches TV all day will take more time to fall asleep, and have poorer quality sleep than a child who actively plays during the day. In another study they also found that active babies sleep better than less active babies. Those infants who were active during the day woke up less at night, so they tended to sleep better – although they did move about in their sleep more. This suggests that encouraging activity could have a knock-on effect on improving other behaviours like good sleep practices. It doesn’t have to be planned or scheduled, but something parents can take away from this is that your child always keeps an eye on how you spend your time, so set a good example by exercising regularly. Your child will pick up on this as something parents do and will naturally want to do it too. By Anke Scherman – Good Night Consultant

October 31, 2023

Why Doesn’t Sleep Training Work?

Working in the baby/parenting industry I know that there are many topics that can cause a big debate. Topics that can get parents talking, engaging and give passionate opinions on. In the sleep space this is no different and even just the words ‘sleep training’ might send a shiver down most parent’s spine. Even I don’t love the words “sleep training”… not because I have strong opinions on it but rather because I know other parents do. I always find myself clarifying the words, explaining what I mean when I say it. What do I mean when I say sleep training? For me sleep training means the methods we use to create sustainable sleep associations. Yes, it sounds complicated but in reality it should. I purposefully chose the wording! I know the power that goes with it. I know how irresponsible people can go about sleep training! I know that not doing it correctly, can do more harm than good! I know that just doing sleep training will not work! I know doing sleep training wrong will not work! YES, I said it – sleep training does NOT work! Many times I have consulted with parents who have attempted a form of sleep training by themselves and it did not go well! Even long hours of crying didn’t help at all and resulted in a traumatised baby and parents. This has nothing to do with the parent’s consistency, nothing to do with their determination or even their beliefs. They did it and it did NOT work. Why doesn’t sleep training work if attempted without professional help? Even though sleep is natural, it is complex AND parents time and time again underestimate this. Sleep training (or rather creating sustainable sleep associations) is only one part of sleeping well. This is the part that many parents have passionate opinions on because it is often one of the more difficult steps of teaching good sleep habits BUT it does not make it more important. The fact is that too many parents attempt sleep training without understanding how to do it responsibly. Too many parents attempt sleep training without any of the other building blocks of sleep in place. Too many parents attempt sleep training in an irresponsible way, which can cause a lot more unnecessary crying and ultimately more sleep issues. Sleep training without a proper daily routine and schedule in place will not work. Sleep training after giving your child a litre of coca cola will just cause hours and hours of crying. Sleep training with a bedtime routine that is too late will cause you baby to wake up soon after falling asleep. Sleep training with all the lights on will not only prolong the process but also create multiple wake ups. Sleep training does NOT work… in isolation. It should never be attempted without first considering the other building blocks of good quality sleep, that would be irresponsible. You can only create sustainable sleep associations once all the other building blocks of sleep are in place. Just because the other building blocks are easier to achieve, does not make them less important. In fact, getting the other building blocks in place can go a long way in bettering your baby’s sleep without even needing to do sleep training! By Jolandi Becker – MD of Good Night

October 30, 2023

Common Drowning Myths

Myth: Drowning children will shout for help Drowning children are physiologically unable to call out. The respiratory system is designed for breathing – speech is the secondary function. Drowning children’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface but while their mouth is above the surface, they need to exhale and inhale before they sink again. There is not enough time to cry out. Myth: Drowning children are unsupervised children 50% of all child drownings will occur 25 metres or less from an adult who was distracted for only a few seconds. Myth: Drowning children wave their arms to attract attention or will thrash in the water Drowning children cannot wave for help. Physiologically, a person who is drowning cannot perform voluntary movements such as waving or moving towards a rescuer. Envisage the surface of the water as a platform. Someone who is drowning often presses down on the surface and tries to use it as leverage to get their mouth above the water’s surface to breathe. So what the onlooker sees are arm movements that can appear to be playful swimming. Children will not kick wildly either. They remain upright in the water with no evidence of a supporting kick. They are quiet, focused only on breathing and show no signs of violent struggle. The child’s struggle is quick — 20 seconds, whereas an adult struggles for 60 seconds. Myth: My child has had swimming lessons so he / she won’t drown No child is ever drown-proof, no matter how good their swimming skills. A few swimming lessons are no guarantee when it comes to drowning prevention. Myth: Water wings and flotation aids will prevent drowning Water wings give a dangerous and false sense of security, often making children think they are stronger swimmers than they actually are. Flotation aids can also suddenly deflate. To prevent a tragedy, be vigilant about pool safety and cover your pool with the leading safety cover from PowerPlastics Pool Covers – The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover which also complies with local safety regulations. This cover also saves water, power and chemical input, giving you safety as well as savings, and it brings a beautiful finish to the outdoor living area. Learn more and shop online at www.powerplastics.co.za Make this the summer you got safe. The summer you got covered.

October 30, 2023

CHOOSING A PLAY SCHOOL

Your baby reaches 18 months and suddenly there is a little shift in the things you think about – suddenly you may start to wonder if leaving her at home with the nanny or being at home with you all day or attending a creche is ticking all the boxes ITO her development. It’s a fact that most parents start to wonder about a play group and specifically what criteria they need to look out for.

October 30, 2023

GARDENING WITH YOUR CHILDREN

Every weekend one of my favourite activities begin with my children, it is something that we all look forward too each week. Our seeds that we saved from the fruits and veggies have dried out and they are now waiting for us to take them and begin a whole new journey of gardening together. We begin by weeding the flower beds, watering the garden and then planting new seeds, this is all part of our Sunday mornings. Gardening has been a special time amongst South Africans for decades. As a small child I have fond memories of watching my father attend to his gardens each day and so what better family memory to create than creating a beautiful garden with my children. After all, what child does not like being outside, digging in soil, getting dirty, creating things and watching them grow! This weekly activity has also provided a great outlet for communicating in our household and we have strengthened our relationships with each other as a result. I simply love when my children come running, little pot in hand to show me that their seed, from the previous week, has started to grow. Gardening has mustered great responsibility with my little one’s and this is something that is not taken lightly in our house. Yes, there have been times when they have all learnt about cause and effect, like not watering the seedling resulted in a unhappy plant, but I am happy to report that we have had very few casualties along the way. When we began gardening with our children, I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to broaden their knowledge of good food vs bad food. Although I am lucky in that my children don’t have a problem eating their vegetables, this did not stop me from giving a lesson or two on the importance of putting the right food into our bodies. Getting out in the sunshine, digging in the dirt is also a wonderful way to discover and learn about all the creepy crawly’s that lurk beneath the surface and everyone loves to watch their little sister being chased by their latest discovery. All in all, this is a lovely way for moms and dads to unwind with their kiddies each week and discover new things. Here are a few tips on how to create a garden with your child: Keep it simple. Give your child their own garden space to look after and nurture. It does not need to be a big area at all, a few pots is all that is needed to get them excited. Involve older children on the planning and design of the garden. Tweens love getting involved when you entice their opinion about something. Use light-weight tools and gardening equipment with your children. Grow an interesting assortment of of seeds such as sunflowers, corn, pumpkin, tomatoes. Plant flowers that attract bird life and butterflies into your garden. Incorporate flowers that are bright and sweet in smell. Most importantly, have fun!

October 25, 2023

The Power of Movement in Raising Healthy Children

Movement is a powerful tool for developing the minds and bodies of young children. As a parent, you looked forward to seeing your baby start crawling, you waited to catch their first step on camera and you’re looking forward to cheering them on at school sports events. Reaching these milestones are all indicators that your child is growing and learning. What you might not know, is that movement contributes to more than a child’s physical development. There are many other areas where movement plays an essential role in developing a well-rounded individual. The Mind-Body Connection Children learn through movement. For example, as your little one crawls towards their favourite toy, they’re engaging in active problem solving. They know what they want and they’ve worked out how to get it – without asking you for help. In a more abstract way, children move their bodies to explore ideas. A little boy running around the garden with his arms outstretched isn’t just mimicking the movements of an airplane; he’s imagining what it’s like to be a pilot. He pictures himself looking down at the earth below and imitates the effect of braking to make a smooth and safe landing. Physical play is how children learn about themselves and the world around them. Giving them the freedom to experiment with movement will stimulate their minds as well as their bodies. Solid Communication Skills Do you remember playing “Peek-a-boo!” with your baby and how they’d smile and giggle when you took your hands away from your eyes? You could tell that they were enjoying the game from the way they reacted – no words necessary. When your baby turned into a toddler, you may have noticed that they would copy your movements. If you were making a cake and stirring the batter, they wanted a bowl and wooden spoon too. Copying a movement or facial expression is one way a child feels closer to you. Children often use movement as a means of communication. Learning to read and understand body language helps children become better non-verbal communicators. Responding to your child’s gestures will give them the confidence that they are effective communicators. Emotional Intelligence Little children haven’t developed the vocabulary they need to explain how they’re feeling, so they rely on physical forms of expression. Sometimes, that means throwing a tantrum in the middle of a store while you’re out grocery shopping! Your little one might jump and down when they’re excited, try and hide behind your legs when they’re scared or snuggle up to you when they need some reassurance. Allowing your children to use movement to express how they feel is important. It also makes it easier for you to recognise their emotions and deal with them constructively. Strong and Healthy Bodies It goes without saying that active children are more likely to be healthy. Study after study has revealed how important it is for young children to be physically active. In an age of cellphones, tablets, video games and the internet all competing for your child’s attention, encouraging them to be active is essential. Physical activity builds gross and fine motor skills in children. Gross motor skills refer to movements that involve the whole body, such as walking, jumping, running and sitting up straight at a desk or table. These activities engage the large muscles of the body and develop core stability. As your child grows older, a strong core will help them cope with the physical activities they’ll encounter every day like carrying a school bag, climbing stairs and paying attention in class. Fine motor skills are just as important and involve the co-ordination of small muscles in the hands and fingers. Drawing, painting, buttoning up a shirt, tying shoe laces, and writing are all activities that rely on well-developed fine motor skills. Movement is the Key Children who are physically active from an early age have an advantage over those who aren’t. They’re more likely to become well-rounded, well-adjusted adults with healthy habits for coping with the stresses of modern life. For a sound, mind, body and spirit, movement is essential. Catrobatkidz offers you an opportunity to involve your child or children in classes that focus on physical activities designed to build strong, healthy bodies and minds. For more information on enrolment, click here or contact us with your questions.

October 24, 2023

5 tricks to get your toddler to eat more fruit and veg

Fruit and vegetables are key to a balanced, healthy diet, but we all know that sometimes getting your toddler to enjoy them can be a challenge. Here’s exactly why fruit and veg are so important and sneaky ways to get your toddler to eat – and enjoy! – them. If you’re having trouble getting your toddler to gobble up their fruit and veg, you’re not alone. Between the ages of two and six it isn’t unusual for little ones to get a little more picky about the foods they are willing to try. But fruit and veg are an important part of a balanced diet – they boost immunity, provide important roughage, and are packed full of vitamins and minerals. In short, they ensure your child’s healthy growth and development, promote good health, and protect against diseases. So, how can you get your child to eat more of nature’s bounty? Try these tricks: 1. Sneak veg into sauces and their favourite foods Next time you’re making a pasta sauce, meatballs, cottage pie, or even mac and cheese, add a little veg to the mix. It won’t alter the taste and will ensure that your little one is getting a good dose of veg. Let Squish 100% Veg Puree be your secret weapon. Packed full of veggie goodness, Squish pouches have a convenient resealable lid which means you can use what you need to add some veggies to sauces and meals, then just pop the lid back on, put it in the fridge and use again for another meal. Choose from Squish 100% Butternut + Carrot, Butternut + Carrot + Sweet Potato, and Mixed Veg. Looking for recipe inspiration? Your toddler will love this quick and easy veggie-packed Pasta Sauce. 2. Freeze it! Slushies are fun and delicious – and when they’re made from Squish 100% Pressed Juice you can rest easy knowing your little one is getting a good serving of fruity goodness too. Simply keep a selection of Squish juice boxes in the freezer, then when you need a slushie, remove and let it defrost slightly, then serve – it’s as easy as that! Squish 100% Pressed Juices are made from 100% fruit, are preservative free, and come in a range of thirst-quenching flavours, including Apple, Apple + Prune with Rooibos Extract, Pear + Prune, and Summer Berries. 3. Offer dips Finger foods lend themselves well to dipping and are always a firm favourite with toddlers. Dips are also an easy way to sneak a serving of veg into your toddler’s meal. Add a pouch of Squish 100% Veg Puree to a tub of cottage cheese or cream cheese, or blitz together with a can of drained chickpeas. Squish 100% Fruit and Veg Purees are free of preservatives, flavourants and colourants – and have no added sugar. This is also a good opportunity to offer your child raw vegetables cut into strips or fun shapes for dipping. Try cucumber, red or yellow pepper, or carrots. Remember children often have to try a new taste several times before they’ll eat it with enthusiasm, so keep trying! 4. Get smoothie-licious When you have a stash of Squish 100% Fruit and Veg Puree pouches in your pantry, a delicious smoothie packed full of natural goodness is just a quick blitz away. Smoothies are a great addition to breakfast and are also good to add to your little one’s packed lunch. To make, simply add a pouch of Squish 100% Fruit and Veg Puree to a cup of natural yoghurt (or you can use half milk, half yoghurt) and blitz. Remember, you can use the veggie flavours too, especially Squish 100% Pear, Butternut, Yoghurt + Mango with Cinnamon, Pear + Sweet Potato or Apple, Beetroot + Guava. 5. Bake them in! Every toddler loves a baked treat – but did you know they’re also a great way to sneak a little more fruit and veg into their diet? The next time you’re making your favourite muffin or pancake batter mix substitute the sugar with any Squish 100% Fruit Puree like Squish Summer Berries or Mango + Banana to take them to the next level of nutritious deliciousness. Double the batch, so you can freeze halve – that way you’ll always have delicious snacks on hand for mid-afternoon treats and lunchbox fillers. You’ll also want to try this Chocolate Brownie recipe – your little one will never guess that they’re packed with veggies and fruit!

October 24, 2023

Unpacking common myths around child drowning

Whether you have a pool or have small children in your family or social circle, everyone needs to learn about pool safety. Being able to identify a drowning in progress and acting fast can make a real difference to the child making a full recovery after a drowning incident. Most people imagine that picture A is an accurate depiction of a drowning in progress. In reality, B and C are more accurate – mouth at water level, head bobbing, body upright, little to no splashing and sometimes the appearance of doing doggie paddle. Familiarise yourself with these drowning behaviours: Head low in the water, mouth at water level Head tilted back with mouth open Trying to roll over onto the back to float Hair falling over the forehead or eyes Body is vertical/ upright Eyes glassy & empty, unable to focus Eyes open, with fear evident on the face Hyperventilating or gasping Trying to swim in one direction but without progress Common Drowning Myths Myth: Drowning children will shout for help Drowning children are physiologically unable to call out. The respiratory system is designed for breathing – speech is the secondary function. Drowning children’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface but while their mouth is above the surface, they need to exhale and inhale before they sink again. There is not enough time to cry out. Myth: Drowning children are unsupervised children 50% of all child drownings will occur 25 metres or less from an adult who was distracted for only a few seconds. Myth: Drowning children wave their arms to attract attention or will thrash in the water Drowning children cannot wave for help. Physiologically, a person who is drowning cannot perform voluntary movements such as waving or moving towards a rescuer. Envisage the surface of the water as a platform. Someone who is drowning often presses down on the surface and tries to use it as leverage to get their mouth above the water’s surface to breathe. So what the onlooker sees are arm movements that can appear to be playful swimming. Children will not kick wildly either. They remain upright in the water with no evidence of a supporting kick. They are quiet, focused only on breathing and show no signs of violent struggle. The child’s struggle is quick — 20 seconds, whereas an adult struggles for 60 seconds. Myth: My child has had swimming lessons so he / she won’t drown No child is ever drown-proof, no matter how good their swimming skills. A few swimming lessons are no guarantee when it comes to drowning prevention. Myth: Water wings and flotation aids will prevent drowning Water wings give a dangerous and false sense of security, often making children think they are stronger swimmers than they actually are. Flotation aids can also suddenly deflate. To prevent a tragedy, be vigilant about pool safety and cover your pool with the leading safety cover from PowerPlastics Pool Covers – The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover which also complies with local safety regulations. This cover also saves water, power and chemical input, giving you safety as well as savings, and it brings a beautiful finish to the outdoor living area. Learn more and shop online at www.powerplastics.co.za

October 23, 2023

Beating heatstroke

Bonitas Medical Fund offers some advice about heatstroke. What the symptoms are, how to avoid it and what to do if someone, child or adult, develops heatstroke.

October 20, 2023

Toddler tantrums

We have all seen children having tantrums at some stage. If you have a toddler you sympathise with the parents. If you don’t, you shake your head and quietly think ‘mine would NEVER do that’. Well they will and when you don’t want them to. Temper tantrums are synonymous with the toddler years. The tantrum in the hands of a skilful toddler is an art form which will rival a Broadway show. He takes a quick look around to check that he is not going to get hurt when he lunges to the floor, he checks to see that he has the audience’s full attention. In a split second he starts his act, every detail designed to get the best reaction from his audience. How long the show lasts depends on the audience (you the parent). The older the child the longer they can perform. Thankfully by age 4 they have found better ways to get what they want. A toddler in full tantrum mode cannot be negotiated with. So try the following – Divert – This works well with the younger toddler. Try and divert his attention with something else. Ignore – Stay calm and don’t get stressed. Don’t argue with him, just go about with what you were doing. This is not easy. Check that he can’t get hurt and if you have to, leave the room. An Oscar winning performance without audience might just not be worth the effort. Time out – With the volume getting higher and the arms flaying you gently but firmly pick him up and place him in his room. Don’t shout, just calmly but in a firm voice say that this behaviour is unacceptable and he must stay there till he is calmer (a minute for every year of his life). Now remove yourself from the area. If he comes out and he is calm give him a great big love and all is forgiven. There are a number of reasons your toddler will tantrum. If he is tired, due for a nap or hungry it might not be the best time to take him shopping. If he has been over stimulated and is battling to integrate all that is happening around him, he is more likely to tantrum. These you can deal with if you start to recognise the signs early. He might start to pick his nose, fidget or whine. He might shield his eyes with his hands, yawn or sneeze. He may demand a bottle and if ignored it won’t be long before he throws himself on the floor for all to admire. Deal with this early to avoid a tantrum. Take him to a quiet place, let him sleep, feed him or just give him time to get away from all the noise and bustle. As he gets older he is more likely to tantrum if he can’t get his own way. You have asked him to stop throwing the ball in the lounge and after asking twice you take the ball away. Major reason to throw a tantrum no matter that you will allow the ball to be played with outside. Tackling tantrums can be tricky but it’s not impossible. Bear in mind that you should rather comfort a sick child than discipline him or if he is frustrated at not being able to build the tower help him with the task. Using the options of divert, ignore and time out you will conquer all other tantrums. Don’t give in or ‘applaud’ in any way. The least attention the performance gets the easier it is to cope with. If you keep giving rave reviews in the form of your own performance to the tantrum, the show will go on. Just bear in mind that the tantrums do eventually pass.

October 19, 2023

Sibling Room Sharing

Is it possible to have two children share one room? If children share a room do, they not wake each other? Is it possible to have 2 children share one room and sleep through? I get these questions often when clients want their children to share a room because they have the same gender and think it would be good for them or because practically there is only one room available. Yes, it is possible and successful too. My 4.5 year old and 5 month old had to share a room when we moved homes. I have 3 children and personality and sleep patterns are what swayed me to decide who would sleep in the same room together. My oldest child (4.5 years at the time) has always been a good sleeper (she seems to sleep independently, quite easily and not much wakes her up at night, she sleeps through (for 11 hours) and loves her sleep. I thought she would be the least disturbed and would be able to settle herself if/when woken up by her baby sister, as my 5 month old was still having one night feed until around 8 months. What helped with creating the best shared sleep environment: block out curtains and blinds (the darker the better), this helped with bedtime and morning light, putting white noise between the cot and bed, this helped to minimize their sleeping sounds of snoring or even coughing when sick. Placement: placing the cot and bed as far apart from each other as possible, the room isn’t very big and they are about a meter and a half apart. As well as talking to my 4.5 year old child about sharing with her baby sister and that bedtime was for sleep and not talking/playing time, 18 months later and this is becoming more of a regular discussion because the girls seem to think bedtime is choir practice time. Using a sleepy sack on my youngest also ensured she doesn’t wake from the cold morning or winter temperatures. Early wake ups were a bit of a challenge with each season change, my girl’s needs are a little different but using a gro-clock to help my oldest child understand that she needs to stay quiet and, in her bed, until it goes orange. If her baby sister wakes up we have heard her hush and “shhh” her and she has fallen asleep again or remained quiet until wake up time. Different bedtime times has also been a hurdle to overcome as my now 2 year old is exhausted by 6pm while my 6.5 year old is not yet ready to sleep until closer to 7pm. We allow our oldest to read or colour-in in our room until it is her bedtime, while we put our 2 year old down in her cot at 6pm. Once asleep her big sister sneaks in quietly and we tuck her into bed. For my eldest who started expressing fears of darkness or being alone around 5 years of age. We reminded her that she is not alone and her sister is in the room with her, this has bought much comfort and peace. We have used Feather the Owl as a night light facing my eldest while she falls asleep but once asleep we switch it off for the night. Napping was also a challenge as my 6 year old hasn’t napped since she was 3.5 years old, we moved all her toys to a central room where she can play while the baby sleeps. If the family has a ‘holiday nap’, which happens maybe once every 3 months, our oldest will nap on our bed while our 2 year old naps in their room in her cot. One of the biggest pros has been when my oldest child has felt scared and not wanting to be alone she hasn’t been alone as I remind her, her sister is in the room with her throughout the night. The biggest plus for us has been when they wake up in the morning (especially the cold winter mornings) my eldest can safely get her baby sister out of the cot independently and they come through to our room for some morning cuddles without me having to get out of my warm bed! Yes, I do believe room sharing is doable, achievable and hugely successful. My girls love sharing a room and have so much fun when they wake up together, they can be found in the cot together reading stories most mornings. By Megan Heuer – Good Night Consultant

October 19, 2023

When nutrition affects toddler sleep

We don’t often relate bad eating to bad sleeping when it comes to toddlers (12 – 36 months). This is a considered a baby issue, yet it can have a major impact toddlers, and can often lead to very bad habits that are difficult to change. At Good Night we are SLEEP experts and NOT feeding experts BUT with this very intricate relationship, it is something that we can assist with or at least identify issues to ensure healthy sleeping. From my experience, these are the major nutritional factors that can influence your toddler’s sleep: Still drinking milk during the night This is by far the most common nutritional issue we pick up when it comes to toddlers. This can have a large impact not only on their sleep but it can also have a domino effect on the rest of their nutrition and health. For healthy toddlers older than 12 months, solids (normal food) should be their main source of nutrients. Milk becomes secondary to the solids meals and should only be seen as a source of calcium and to quench their thirst. Thus it should be given with a solid meal and rather NOT as a separate meal on its own any longer. It is quite normal though for a toddler to have milk until he’s about 2 years old, especially if you have a milk lover or if you are still breastfeeding. But limit the milk to two feeds a day, one as part of breakfast and one as part of dinner. This also means that your toddler does not need to drink any milk during the night. The reality is that milk during the night can do more harm than good after 12 months for the following reasons: Your toddler is at a higher risk of having iron deficiencies if they drink more than 710 ml of milk during the day. Drinking milk during the night can cause tooth decay. Filling them up with milk at night can fill them up with nutrients that they don’t need and cause them to be picky eaters during the day. Too much sugar Sugary sweets, snacks, and juices should be avoided especially just before bedtime. When toddlers consume sugar, their blood sugar levels will increase and then drop significantly. Their tiny bodies will be hard at work to re-stabilize their blood sugar and, in doing so, will release adrenaline, a stress hormone, which can cause toddlers to experience restlessness. This, in turn, can have a major effect on their sleep. The temptation of sugar is everywhere, but caregivers are in an influential position of introducing kids to more nutritious foods early on. The more healthy foods that toddlers start enjoying while younger, the better. Not weaning your toddler from the bottle Paediatricians recommend that babies be weaned from their bottles by age one, and never later than 18 months for many reasons: Once again because of their teeth! If your toddler spends all day (or worse, all night) drinking from a milk bottle of milk, their teeth (not only the ones you can see) could experience permanent damage and serious decay. Too much bottle time can mean more ear infections. It can have an impact on their development. It can hinder speech as they cannot practice talking if there is a bottle in their mouth. Walking around with a trusty bottle keeps their hands from play and exploration. The reality with toddlers is that they are emotional beings and any changes will be a lot more challenging to administer and champion, but all these changes are for good reason and they will be healthier because of it. Consistency and determination will benefit you and your toddler regarding healthy food choices. By Jolandi Becker – MD of Good Night

October 18, 2023

What does crossing the midline really mean?

There are many terms that teachers, psychologists and other professionals may use that, at times, are perhaps not explained effectively leaving parents at a loss to the significance of these difficulties. It is important to understand what the importance of these conditions are, (especially if they have been mentioned in your child’s school report) what they mean, and the possible consequences and repercussions thereof. The midline is akin to an imaginary line going down the middle of one’s body from head to toe. Midline crossing is important for many skills to develop later on. For example, midline crossing is important for a youngster to develop the ability to use one hand to write across the entire page. This will also determine whether the youngster will have the necessary skills to read the length of the sentence across the page from left to right A child who can’t cross the midline, for instance, would use his/her left hand to write or paint on the left-side of the page and his/her right hand to write or paint on the right-hand side of the page which can hamper the learning process. Crossing the midline is also an indicator of bilateral co-ordination which is the ability to use both sides of the body and brain simultaneously. This is important for gross motor skills such as climbing stairs, walking, riding a bicycle and swimming. In addition, bilateral co-ordination is also important to read, write and learn. In other words, the right and left brain have to work together, for example in reading the left brain’s task is to decode a word whilst the right brain facilitates the understanding and meaning of what was read. Midline crossing is therefore essential for a youngster to develop as it is a very necessary skill for learning in all areas of life.

October 17, 2023

Emotional and Social Milestones of a 6-year-old

Why it’s important to nurture empathy in kids? Parents should consider teaching empathy and nurturing emotional intelligence in their children for several reasons. In its most basic form, empathy is the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes and comprehend their emotions and experiences. Empathy can also be useful in teaching children about bullying and how to avoid it. Thus, teaching empathy is an important factor in preventing bullying at school. How can parents encourage emotional intelligence and empathy in their children? Make sure your child’s emotional needs are met – To be able to feel and express empathy for another person, a child’s emotional needs must first be satisfied. Before she can help someone else, she must be able to rely on her parents and caregivers for emotional support. Teach your child how to cope with negative emotions – Negative emotions like anger and jealousy are common in children and adults. A child with good emotional intelligence and empathy is more likely to be taught how to handle these feelings positively in a problem-solving manner by sympathetic parents. Ask, “How would you feel?” – When a pre-schooler smacks a sibling or a friend or takes away a toy they’re playing with, a parent should explain that such action might hurt a person. “How would you feel if someone took your toy away?” or “How would you feel if someone smacked you?” are some examples of questions to use. Name that feeling – Identify and categorize feelings and emotions as much as possible to assist your child in understanding them. If your child behaves kindly toward someone, you can say: “That was very good of you to be so worried about your friend; I’m sure it made him feel much better when you were so kind to him. If your child behaves unpleasantly, you can say: “I understand you may be angry, but it made your friend sad when you stole his toy from him.” Talk about positive and negative behaviours around you – In real life, as well as in books, television, and movies, we are always exposed to instances of good and bad behaviour. Discuss with your child any behaviour you notice, such as someone making another person upset or acting like a bully, or someone helping others and making them feel better about themselves. Set a good example – By watching you and other adults in their lives, your child learns how to interact with others. Show them what it is to be helpful or kind and loving. You can teach your child to be sympathetic by helping family members and neighbours and supporting friends and those in need or going through a difficult time.

October 17, 2023

DEALING WITH KIDS AND PREGNANCY

Dealing with pregnancy can be tricky on its own, but when you have a toddler or young kids to look after things can become more difficult. If this is your second pregnancy, you may be struggling with morning sickness, fatigue and a tired achy body and still having to look after another young child. You’re probably wondering how to manage, so we’ve put together some useful tips to help you the second time around. Be patient with them and yourself It’s important that you’re patient with your child. Initially, they may not understand the pregnancy which can make them act out in confusion. Getting them involved and feeling like a big sibling can help them to feel excited about the new addition to the family. That being said you should also be patient with yourself. You may be feeling unwell due to your pregnancy, and with looking after another child you may find things falling by the wayside. It’s likely that only you will notice these things, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Playtime for you and them You might not always be feeling up to playtime with your little one, so this is a good time to encourage them to play independently. This way you free up a little bit more time for yourself while keeping them entertained. As your pregnancy progresses, play in ways that you can manage. Instead of running around, focus on board games, drawing and puzzles. Allowing a little bit of screen time (even together) is another way you can easily entertain your kids. Help and schedules Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you have a partner, they are the obvious person to lend a hand, but if you are by yourself, either reach out to close family or consider getting paid help for part of the day. Another way to find some time for yourself is to nap when your toddler naps. Syncing up your sleep schedules may mean that you find yourself a little bit more rest time for when you’re feeling tired or nauseous.

October 6, 2023

The fine line between discipline and punishment

Discipline vs punishment What really helps vulnerable children build confidence and self-control? As a normal part of their development, all children test boundaries and break rules, but how parents respond to these moments has an undeniable effect on their child, whether positive or negative. And this is magnified for vulnerable children who live with foster parents or who have been adopted. Parents are human too, and they have to navigate their own emotions while parenting, but it’s important that they carefully consider their responses to their children when they misbehave. This includes understanding the difference between punishment and discipline. Beverley Beukes, MD of Oasis Haven, a registered Child and Youth Care Centre in Johannesburg, explains that punishment is imposed on a child by their parent, after the fact. “The child misbehaves and the parent reacts to that behaviour, which frequently results in a power struggle and vicious cycle.” Discipline, by contrast, is established before the fact and is based on a child’s needs. A parent provides guidelines for their child and gives them latitude to work within those guidelines, establishing consequences for failing to do so. “The ultimate goal of parental discipline is to wrap just enough structure around a child so that they can begin to develop self-control, the precursor of self-discipline,” says Beukes. So what does healthy discipline look like? Aim for connection over control “An important premise to begin with is that discipline needs to happen in the context of connection. It can’t be about control – without connection, parents will constantly be trying to control behaviour,” explains Simone Oketch, social worker at Oasis Haven. Vulnerable children will often set out to test their parents. They may display aggressive, inappropriate and unkind behaviours to see how far they need to go before their new parents will reject them. Parents need to see beyond those behaviours, and stay focused on the long-term goals of attaching and forming a healthy relationship. “If you help your child calm down and connect with you, even when you are correcting their behaviour, you will create an environment where they can flourish,” says Oketch. Understand your child Parents often think of their child in terms of their chronological age, but it’s important to consider their emotional age too, which may be significantly younger in some cases. Parents need to adjust their expectations and the words they use when talking through boundaries to meet their child’s developmental stage. Approach discipline in small increments Behaviour change takes time. “Seeing the long-term picture can help parents avoid thinking of misbehaviour as failure – as a vulnerable child’s fear lessens, they will not always have an immediate fight, flight, or freeze reaction. During this process the child can learn the cause and effect of their actions,” says Beukes. Rethink more ‘traditional’ consequences Beukes and Oketch’s experience working with vulnerable children has given them unique insights into how to help these children flourish. “Children who have had multiple broken bonds or who have experienced abuse often do not respond well to traditional methods of discipline,” says Beukes. Things such as time out and being grounded, among other approaches, might exacerbate the problem. Many parents can become quite discouraged and confused when this happens. Hidings are one of the most unhelpful approaches adoptive and foster parents can use. It is also illegal to spank children in South Africa, so it’s important that parents avoid any physical punishment. Some practical tools parents can rather use include earning or losing privileges, charting children’s behaviour so they can see their own progress and stay motivated over the long term, providing choices, talking to their child about their feelings, having weekly family meetings, and getting professional support through a therapist. If a child is provided with consistent and effective discipline, not only will their behaviour improve, but so will their relationship with their parents. “All children need to know is that their parent’s love for them is unconditional,” says Oketch. Oketch and Beukes have written a guide called Strengthening Families in a South African Context, sponsored by Ambassadors for Good, which provides an overview of foster care, adoption and family preservation, as well as guidance for statutory and adoption social workers on supporting families. For more information, visit www.oasishaven.org. About Oasis Haven Oasis Haven is a registered Child and Youth Care Centre with two family homes in Robin Hills, Johannesburg, with capacity for 10 children in each home. But we are more than that – we are a big, loving, messy family made up of children, house parents, staff, volunteers, donors and the community we live and work in. Our vision is for every vulnerable child to be in a loving, forever family. Our mission is to break the cycle of vulnerable children by loving them as our own and working to provide family through adoption or in our Family Homes. We focus on quality care, education and therapy, rooted in faith.

October 5, 2023

The best products for healthy babies and children

Babies and children require seemingly few products to stay healthy, but as they age, most parents realise that there are some essentials that do not only boost and improve their child’s health, but also makes the parents’ lives easier. While requirements vary from family to family, there are a few basics that are considered beneficial for young ones. Here are a few products we recommend: Health care products Every household needs quick and easy access to a first aid kit or health care kit. When you need it, it’s usually to attend to an immediate problem, meaning there’s no time to search around. First-time parents sometimes aren’t sure what exactly they’ll need for baby’s first aid kit, which is why it’s will be handy if you have a pre-packed kit filled with the basics. We recommend the Safety First Healthcare Kit (R289.99), an 11-piece kit containing all the basics you’ll need for baby’s basic health needs. From a nasal aspirator, to a digital thermometer, medicine dropper and soft grip toothbrush, this handy kit covers all the basics. Grooming products Babies might not need much grooming to start off with, but as soon as they’re a little bit older you’ll need to look into nail clippers, hairbrushes, and other basic grooming items. Like with a health care kit, it might be difficult for first-time parents to know exactly which items to buy. The Safety First Essential Grooming Kit (R229.95) is a handy 10-piece kit containing all the good quality basics you’ll need, such as a comb, hairbrush, nail clippers, nail files and more. Breast pump Breastfeeding moms know that there comes a time – be it when you return to work, or when you need to pop out – that a good quality breast pump becomes a lifesaver. Whether you pump because you can’t physically be with your baby to breastfeed, or whether it’s to allow dad and other family members to help out with feeding, many women find pumping easy and convenient – with the right pump, of course. Medela Harmony Essentials Pack (R999.95) combines everything moms need for breast milk pumping in one breast pump set. It comes complete with a silicone teat, four milk storage bags to store and freeze your milk, and four ultra-thin nursing pads: everything you need to express and store your breast milk and feed it to your baby. This single manual breast pump is perfect for moms who want to try out pumping, moms who express occasionally and need a lightweight travel companion, or moms who want a handy backup to their electric pump. Quality bottles On the days that you’re pumping, you’ll need some quality bottles with which to store your baby’s milk. It’s important to choose a brand that makes use of materials safe for baby, that’s convenient and durable. Medela Milk Storage Bottles 2-Pack (R339.99) are free from Bisphenol (BPA) for your baby’s health, dishwasher and microwave safe for your convenience and ideal for expressing, storing, freezing, and feeding breastmilk. A good quality multivitamin Let’s face it – most parents struggle to get their children to eat vegetables, and picky eaters often end up lacking many of the essential nutrients needed for healthy growth. This is where multivitamins come in. A good quality supplement contributes to the normal function of the immune systems and the normal function of many other systems in the body contributing to general wellbeing. We recommend: NutriPure Kids Multi-Vitamin Complete (R126.95) which is specially formulated in a tasty, soft, and chewy gummy, making taking vitamins fun and easy for children aged three and older. Each NutriPure Multi-Vitamin Complete gummy contains 11 essential vitamins and minerals: Vitamin D, B6, B12, C, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid and Niacin to help metabolize carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. An effective probiotic Probiotics are an essential supplement for all ages. A balanced intestinal micro-flora is highly important in keeping the body in healthy working order and is a key element in overall well-being. Plus, it helps us to better metabolize all the healthy nutrients we consume in foods. We recommend: NutriPure Kids Pro-Biotics (R139.95), which is formulated with Bifidobacterium infantis and Lactobacillus rhamnosus, two scientifically tested bacteria strains. Each NutriPure bear contains one billion live cultures to help your child boost his daily culture intake.

October 4, 2023

A FATHER’S IMPACT ON A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT

Affinity Health, a leading provider of high-quality health cover, underscores the crucial role fathers play in their child’s development and highlights the adverse effects of limited or no access to fathers during a child’s formative years. The Human Sciences Research Council reports that in South Africa, over 60% of children do not reside with their biological fathers, with only 20% seeing their biological father bi-weekly. A detailed report from Statistics South Africa (STATS SA) further reveals racial disparities: only 31.7% of black children aged 0-17 live with their biological fathers, compared to 51.3% of coloured children, 86.1% of Indian and Asian children, and 80.2% of white children. “Across multiple cultures and societies, the role of a father has conventionally been seen as secondary to that of a mother. While mothers are often considered the primary caregivers, the importance of a father’s influence cannot be understated,” says Murray Hewlett, CEO of Affinity Health. “A child’s emotional, mental, and even physical development can be significantly influenced by their relationship or lack thereof with their father, especially during a child’s formative years, from birth to age eight.” The Crucial Influence of a Father The importance of a father’s role in a child’s life has been the subject of extensive research over the years. Studies consistently highlight the significant influence that a supportive and involved father has on the holistic development of a child. Emotionally Balanced Adults The U.S. Department of Health & Human Services discovered that children with involved fathers, even in the context of high levels of maternal involvement, tend to score better in cognitive tests. For example, preschoolers with engaged fathers exhibit enhanced verbal abilities, while girls who share a close and nurturing bond with their fathers demonstrate superior math competencies. Meanwhile, boys benefiting from a strong paternal presence typically achieve higher grades and outperform their peers on assessment tests relative to their age level. Sociability, Confidence, and Resilience Research from the Imperial College London noted that infants with more involved fathers develop better problem-solving skills, demonstrating increased resilience when faced with challenges. Behavioural Issues, Emotional Insecurities, and Academic Struggles The National Fatherhood Initiative reported that children living in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to be poor and twice as likely to drop out of school. Relationship Challenges and Teaching Trust A study from the University of British Columbia reported that children with absent fathers tend to enter relationships earlier and are more likely to have children outside of wedlock or get divorced. A Growing Concern A rising concern is the number of fathers not permitted to play an active role in their children’s lives due to various circumstances, often stemming from personal conflicts, legal battles, or societal norms and stigmas. “The issue of children growing up without fathers in South Africa has been a significant concern,” adds Hewlett. “The issue is further compounded by complexities related to the definition of ‘father absence’. Some children might not live with their biological fathers but have contact with them or receive financial support. Others might have father figures like stepfathers, uncles, or grandfathers playing a significant role in their upbringing.” Talking from Experience Jamie Lawson, now 25, was separated from her father until age 18 due to familial disputes. On finally reconnecting, she said, “Growing up, there was always this void, this piece of the puzzle that was missing. When I finally met my father, I realised that much of the confusion, anger, and emotional turmoil I felt during my teenage years was connected to not having him in my life. There’s so much I missed out on and so much he missed out on. It’s time we recognise the importance of both parents in a child’s life.” Jamie’s story is one of countless others, each echoing the importance of a father’s involvement and the long-term impact of their absence. Meyers, who also grew up without a dad, talks about her journey growing up without a dad in Daughters Without Dads: Being Emotionally or Physically Abandoned by a Father. She recounted how growing up without a father manifested itself in many ways throughout her life as she struggled with a food obsession, low self-esteem, social anxiety, and depression. A Call to Action As societies evolve, there is a pressing need for legal systems, social constructs, and individual mindsets to shift, placing equal importance on both parents. Denying a child access to their father not only strips them of shared memories, learnings, and experiences but may also deprive them of the necessary tools and emotional balance needed for adulthood. Affinity Health aims to shed light on the long-term effects of a father’s absence. “As we move forward, the focus must be on what’s best for the child’s overall well-being, ensuring they have access to the diverse, enriching experiences and lessons that both parents uniquely offer,” concludes Hewlett.

October 3, 2023

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