Toddler - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Make every day fun!

It is almost school holidays again, and to prevent your children from complaining that they are bored or from spending all their time in front of the television, you need to be creative and plan ahead. Here are a few suggestions to inspire you. Monday: Museums and maestro’s Visit a museum – preferably one that will interest your children – or find out what is being performed at your local theatre. (Many museums and theatres offer fun, interactive holiday programmes for children.) If nothing is happening in your area, why not encourage your children to create, practise and perform their own play? Tuesday: Try it at home Holiday fun doesn’t have to be expensive. Bake cupcakes, make playdough, tie-dye a t-shirt, or dig out all your craft materials and let your children unleash their creativity! Wednesday: Will you dare? Older children will enjoy skating or testing their fear of heights by trying wall climbing or zip lining, while younger ones will enjoy the challenge of the jungle gym at a play centre. You can also visit a theme park, which will undoubtedly offer something to challenge everyone. Thursday: Treat some animals Our country teems with places where you can see and even pet all kinds of animals – from the ordinary to the peculiar! Is there an aquarium, zoo, snake park, crocodile farm or bird paradise in your back yard? Go visit it! Better yet, give of your time and help out at an animal shelter – you can walk or play with the animals, or assist with other tasks that need doing. Friday: Find out more about your town Load the children in the car and go explore the nooks and crannies of your town. You can also explore your area on foot (find out if there are any fun day trips) or by bike (why not pack a picnic basket?). End the day with a movie marathon – let everyone choose their favourite movie, make buckets of popcorn, get comfortable on the couch and relax! Impak is a curriculum provider for home, tutor and school education. Visit www.impak.co.za for more information.

June 27, 2016

Does it get any easier?

My early morning meeting began today with a rather frazzled mother of three rushing in at the last minute, gratefully grabbing a cup of coffee, and then collapsing on her chair with the desperate plea, “Your kids are bigger than mine… tell me this gets easier!” I just smiled. What do I tell her? It does get easier, in a practical way. They learn to brush their own teeth, pack their own bags, dress themselves and make their own breakfasts. You can actually wake them up and then say, “Get ready I’m going to shower,” and they do. They clean up after themselves… sometimes. They feed dogs and cats and fish without you worrying they will poison them. Or leave a trail of animal food all over the house. They learn to wipe for themselves! That’s a milestone worth celebrating! And ultimately they slowly become independent – if you let them of course. But does it get easier? I am not so sure. In some ways it gets harder. The emotional stuff becomes bigger. Their problems get bigger and more adult like. The troubles they face get more serious. But it is still filled with those rewarding moments that make it so worthwhile. I have a six-year gap between my oldest and my youngest, so I am still firmly entrenched in Lego and toys and learning to read and tears and the turmoils of friends not being their friends today. But then I am as involved in the teens that everyone seems so afraid of. I hear about first kisses and stupid stuff that friends do, and I get to watch how peer pressure manifests its ugly little head – although sometimes in a positive way, thankfully. But does it get any easier? I really don’t think so. You see I’m a parent. And the older my kids get the more I realise that each age and stage has its own set of challenges. But underlying all of them, is the same basic drive. A protective instinct so fierce and primal that it turns you into someone who would be prepared to die for your child. It enables you to imagine carrying out acts so barbaric when your child is threatened or hurt, that a mamma bear would flinch. The responsibility you feel and the need to get it right, never gets any easier. So as we begin our meeting, I look into her desperate eyes and try find an answer. An honest answer. “It does get easier,” I said. “Soon they will be doing everything for themselves and you can arrive at meetings totally together and unfrazzled!” and she sighed and sipped her coffee, gratefully grabbing at the leaf I offered, “Thank goodness!” I know she was not ignorant of the changes that will come, and the other challenges she will face as a mom. It’s what she needed to hear in that moment, even though I suspect that she knows deep down that a parent’s job never really gets easier, she grabbed that little piece of sanity then and there, in the moment, because like all parents, we know that once that child is born, your heart will forever walk outside your body, and that never gets any easier.

June 22, 2016

Time for bed!

An eye-opening estimated 70% of children are not getting enough sleep or enough quality sleep these days! Keep reading to find out what this is doing and how to help them and yourself, as a parent, rest easier! The amount of sleep a child needs varies depending on age and health, but here is a quick guideline to help you gauge how much sleep your child ideally needs! Age Sleep hours needed per day 1-4 Weeks 15 – 16 1-4 Months 14 – 15 4-12 Months 14 – 15 1-3 Years 12 – 14 3-6 Years 10 – 12 7-12 Years 10 – 11 12-18 Years 8 – 9 So, why do we our children need regular, quality sleep? Sleep serves a critical role in our health and well-being and gives your body a rest, allowing it to prepare for the next day. Every movement we make uses vital resources and creates minuscule wear and tear for our bodies. At night, while we sleep, our body finally gets the chance to rebuild itself. While we are awake, our minds are barraged from input from 5 senses, as well as constantly using thought, logic, creativity, and creating memories. Sleep gives the brain the time it needs to sort out and store information, replace chemicals, and solve problems. If you are having a hard time trying to get your kids to sleep as much as they should, here are a few age-appropriate tips to give you a hand: Newborns Observe baby’s sleep patterns and identify signs of sleepiness. Put your baby in the crib when drowsy, before they fall asleep. Place your baby to sleep on their back with face clear of blankets and other soft items. Infants Develop regular daytime and bedtime schedules. Create a consistent and enjoyable bedtime routine, such as reading to them or singing. Make their space “sleep friendly” environment, with soft lighting. Toddlers Maintain a sleep schedule and consistent bedtime routine. Make the bedroom environment the same every night, without much change. Encourage use of a “sleep pal” such as a blanket or stuffed animal. Preschoolers Have a relaxing bedtime routine that ends in the room where the child sleeps. Child should sleep in the same sleeping environment every night, in a room that is cool, quiet and dark, without a TV. School-aged Children Teach them about healthy sleep habits and why sleep is important. Make child’s bedroom conducive to sleep – dark, cool and quiet. Avoid caffeine and sugary food and drink.

June 15, 2016

Divorce and children

Telling my children that their mom and I were getting divorced was probably the hardest conversation I have ever had. My son Luke was 11 at the time and my daughter Blythe 8. My heart broke as I looked into their sad, shocked eyes. It took everything I had to stop my tears from flowing. Their lives were being turned upside down by the two people they trusted and relied on most in the world. Divorce is a difficult and painful reality which affects almost half of everyone who gets married. Tragically it’s our children’s hearts that are so often caught in the crossfire of negative emotions that come with divorce. This is not an article on how and why to avoid divorce, or the merits of staying together or not for the kids, it’s an article on how to love, protect, nurture and equip children through divorce. If there is one thing I have learnt as a parent it’s that it is not about us it’s about our children. They are not there for us, we are there for them. We brought them into the world and it’s up to us to look after them. Whatever the reason a divorce takes place and regardless of who was most to blame,when we fail to keep our marriage together, which I did, our primary responsibility as parents remains the nurture, care and protection of our children. After I saw first hand the impact my announcement had on my children I vowed to do everything in my power to protect them from the harmful emotional effect of our divorce. It’s very easy during a divorce to become so immersed in our own emotions and self preservation that our children take a backseat. The reality is they need us more than ever. The break up of a family is a major trauma for children and we as their parents are in the strange position of being both the cause of their distress and their source of strength and security during it. Here are eight things I learnt through my own experience that can help children deal with divorce: Let them know that it’s not their fault. As irrational as it may seem, children often feel that somehow they are to blame when a family splits apart. Make sure they understand that this is mom and dad’s fault and they are not responsible in any way. Never put your children in a position where they need to choose between mom or dad. Don’t blame. Your children need both of you and they don’t want either one of you to be the villain. This is your stuff not theirs, keep it that way and do everything you can to ensure your children maintain a great relationship with both of you. Reassure them that everything will be okay. Let them know that even though the living arrangements will be changing you still love them deeply and will be present in their lives. Explain to them that they will have two homes where they will be loved and accepted completely. Help them deal with the change by talking about it. They need to mourn the passing of how life was and adjust to how life will be. The more they are able to talk about the changes and express themselves the quicker they will be able to accept and process the transition. Help them identify their feelings. No matter what they say they will be going through pain and confusion and you need to help them deal with this. Find a way to get into their hearts and minds and truly see and hear what they are thinking and feeling. The younger they are the more challenging this will be as young children don’t have the emotional understanding and maturity to identify their emotions, nor do they have the vocabulary to express them. You may need to enlist the help of an expert such as a counsellor or art therapist. Validate their feelings. Let them know that what they are feeling is normal and okay. Children often experience guilt when feeling anything negative towards their parents and will hide or suppress their emotions. Yet in a divorce they have every right to feel negative emotions towards us; we are responsible for breaking up the world as they know it. After my divorce I realised that Luke was feeling very angry with me and his mom but he felt confused and guilty about what he was feeling. I let him know that it was okay to feel that way, that he had every right to be angry. Help them process their feelings appropriately. Their unspoken question will be; ok so I realise I’m angry and it’s ok to be angry but what do I do with my anger? Again you may need to enlist the help of an expert or older mentor. In Luke’s case I asked him to forgive me and his mom and gave him the space to express and feel his anger. Often an angry child will take his frustration out in inappropriate ways like bullying, self-harm or other destructive behaviours. Helping your child to deal appropriately with emotions will set him or her free from harmful thoughts and behaviors and grow their emotional intelligence. Get your children involved in a divorce recovery programme. There are churches, community centers and counseling groups that offer programmes specifically for children going through a divorce. These can be very beneficial in assisting children to deal with their emotions and equipping them with the tools to handle the change. By taking theses eight actions, prioritizing your children’s hearts and staying deeply involved in their lives it’s possible to minimize the trauma of divorce and turn it into a powerful growth experience for both you and them.

June 9, 2016

Autism and the Senses – A Parent’s Guide

All around the world famous landmarks have been lit up with blue lights – a great way for the world to notice that autism is real, it impacts more people than we can imagine and there is still so much to learn about the condition. Ask any parent, adult, sibling or adolescent living with autism, about what aspect they find most difficult and they will mostly confirm that dealing with the sensory elements of autism is or was their biggest hurdle. At every moment in our 24-hour day, our senses are inundated with new and old sensory input, which gets filtered appropriately in order for one to function effectively. Many autistic children have great difficulty with processing sensory input from the environment, and added to that they have great difficulty communicating what they don’t like about the sensory input. Autistic children are typically sensory sensitive with either low or fluctuating thresholds, meaning that they are hugely affected, (often negatively), by sensory input from their environments. It is just too loud, too bright, too tight or too fast for them. They experience sensory overload on a constant basis and they really battle to cope with this. This video by the Interacting with Autism Project is a fantastic illustration of what somebody with autism must be experiencing when confronted with sensory overload. Their withdrawal patterns and poor social skills are not necessarily caused by sensory overload, but augmented by their sensory issues. Children on the Autism spectrum need consistency, routine and structure. Unpredictable and sensory overloaded environments (like shops and shopping malls) are very difficult for them to cope with, which typically will cause them to throw tantrums, get aggressive and/or withdraw from such environments. Sensory meltdowns occur when there is some form of discordance that happens in one or more of the sensory systems (touch, taste, sound, sight, smell, movement). Low blood sugar levels are also of relevance, as lowered blood sugar levels heighten all the senses. Remove the child from the distressing environment and take him to a safer and calmer place. Parents should be aware of meltdowns, it happens so quickly and without warning – but try not to over protect them or to shield them from stressful environments. Learn to anticipate which sensory system overloads the quickest and be prepared. Exposure to new and uncomfortable environments needs to be done in a gentle and calculated way (when the child is calm and regulated) as it helps them learn to anticipate, to adapt to and to manage these environments. A portable sensory toolkit can be taken with you whenever you are away from home and can include the following items: Sunglasses (to decrease the effect of bright light). A baseball cap or wide brimmed hat (for decreased visual stimulation). An ice cold water bottle with a sport cap for sucking water or an ice cold juice with a straw. A chewy snack, like biltong, dried fruit, chewing gum. Soundproof headphones for very loud environments. A change of clothing (long-sleeved t-shirt to avoid unwanted touch). Deep bear hugs – for a calming effect. Deep breathing – the universal calmer. One’s senses are thus a vital key to coping with autism – it is the window to their souls and interactions. Understand it, use it wisely and learn to look at people and environments form a sensory point of view.

May 30, 2016

Digital Parenting Challenges

Do you remember gathering all the baby books and magazines you could find to read up on how to care for your baby and toddlers? The library and bookstore shelves were stuffed full of the newest feeding methods and sleeping approaches. We poured over every detail from burping techniques to swaddling methods, but what we didn’t expect to expect was the prevalence of digital technology in our children’s near future. Most of our preparations never mentioned social media or Smartphone technology. While our devices offer us amazing benefits with instant communication, easy access to information, and gps technology, this abundance can be overwhelming for modern parents when it comes to raising children. As we struggle to make sense of what our children are digitally up to, we can find ourselves questioning what they are really doing on their devices for hours and hours at a time. We understand that they are playing games, sending messages, snapping selfies, and streaming videos. These handheld luxuries offer endless entertainment and ways to communicate, but lurking behind the glow of the screens are a myriad of dangers many children and parents might not consider. Understanding Technology And Our Children Unfortunately, these hazards cover a wide variety of pitfalls from cyberbullying to oversharing to sexting to online predators. The list could probably go on and on, but these are four of the biggest problems facing our youngest digital natives. Only recently have these topics became real parenting challenges gaining national attention with daily negative headlines, which is why many of us are left wondering what to do when it comes to children and technology. It’s essential that we consider a recent study’s shocking revelation that cyberbullying rates have tripled. The authors of the study acknowledge that 87 percent of our kids have either been victimised or witnessed, which is up dramatically from around 28 percent a few years ago. For parents, this can be devastating to digest, because we understand the links between bullying and increased chances for suffering from depression, high anxiety levels, and thoughts of suicide. If cyberbullying isn’t enough to worry, we need to consider that sexting is now considered a normal part of development. This trend might not expose a child to actual sex dangerous like pregnancy or disease, but sexting can lead children down a dangerous path. Minor children who send or receive a sext can potentially be charged by the authorities for possessing or distributing child pornography. It doesn’t matter if the act is consensual, it is seen by the law as a felonious act. To compound these matters, sexting can open our kids up for exploitation, bullying, relationship abuse, and shaming. 6 Popular Apps To Be On The Lookout For Coming to the conclusion that our children may be behaving badly online is disheartening, but we also need to consider that a majority of our sons and daughters, 70 percent in fact, hide their digital activity from us. Staying on top our children’s activity can be daunting, especially after the mass exodus of our teens from popular social media sites we frequent, like Facebook. To help you understand what apps and sites our children are using for a combined average of six or more hours each day of screen time, we have compiled a list of # trending apps that should be on our radar: Snapchat Whisper Dubsmash Instagram Ask.fm Burn Note How To Speak To Children About Digital Challenges To help us conquer digital parenting challenges, please read the following suggestions to help communicate with children and teens about problems they may face: Start a discussion regarding the importance of balancing technology in our everyday lives. Instil a sense of social media etiquette in young children and add to this foundation as a child ages. Use the “grandma rule” and only post items that they feel comfortable with Nanna stumbling across. Reclaim family time and events to offer plenty of time for communication. Make an effort to just listen and hear what they are saying. Reinforce good behaviour and choices. Let them know you appreciate their judgment. Develop a contract that states technology expectations and consequences as a family. Actively monitor a child’s cell phone and online activity. Know their friends, what sites they visit, and drop in from time to time on their social media profiles. Avoid lecturing and belittling children about social media and technology use. Lead with a good example!

May 4, 2016

Introducing Little Tikes

Little Tikes is a range of toys for indoor and outdoor play that will entertain your child while helping them to develop their mind and imagination. Little Tikes is committed to making safe, quality and durable fun toys for children across a variety of age groups, from baby to toddler to older children. The toys encourage discovery and learning through active, creative and social play and provide countless hours of fun. The toys also encourage kids to get up and play outside. Encourage your young one to get up and play, swing, bounce, ride and more with Little Tikes products. From outdoor sets to role-playing toys, boys and girls will enjoy hours of fun. Little Tikes has products for children as young as six months – they are perfectly created for little hands and tough enough to endure being chewed, hit and thrown about! Little Tikes toys help your child grow and grow with your child! Little Tikes Ball Chase Octopus The Little Tikes Ball Chase Octopus is a colourful toy that gets baby moving through fun and unpredictable ball play. The toy spins and releases balls, encouraging baby to crawl, chase and play again. It helps to develop gross and fine motor skills, the understanding of cause and effect and also encourages balance and coordination. It is suitable for babies six months and older. Little Tikes Discover Sounds Kitchen This fun play kitchen playset is an ideal baby and toddler toy. With lights, sounds, colours and shapes, this playset will captivate and entertain your little one. The Discover Sounds Kitchen has been designed to help develop visual perception, fine motor skills and cognitive processes. Plus, it’s a really fun toy to play with that is highly interactive. It features shape sorting, lights and sounds and encourages put and take play. What’s more the refrigerator, oven and microwave doors open and the stove burner makes a sizzling sound when baby puts a pot on it. If a pot is put on the blue burner it makes a boiling sound. Baby can also push on the “springy” play toast and watch it pop up! There is also a shape-sorter on the refrigerator! The Little Tikes Discover Sounds Kitchen is the ideal toy that will bring baby joy until well into his toddler years. Suitable for six months plus. Little Tikes Count and Play Register This toy cash register is perfect for toddlers and pre-schoolers. Kids can learn colours and shapes through matching. What’s more, this learning toy is just the right size to help develop fine motor skills and foster an understanding of simple cause and effect. The Count ‘n Play Cash Register will help stimulate imagination and inspire creativity. While playing children learn to match colours, size and numbers. Drop the coins into the slots and swipe the credit card to drop the coins into the drawer. Kids pull down on the handle to open the cash drawer. Suitable for ages two and up. Kids will love it! Little Tikes toys are ideal learning while playing toys that will help your child develop fine and gross motor skills while learning about the world around them. Visit your local toy store or retailer and browse the exciting Little Tikes range that will inspire, motivate and excite your child.

April 25, 2016

Why Dads Matter

A year after my divorce, my son Luke decided to come and live with me. At the age of 12 he was a big, strong boy, tall and solidly built. He played rugby, loved riding motor bikes and was a real boy in every way. Yet I also noticed a tenderness and vulnerability in him. More than that, there was a cry, a yearning for masculine nurture. For several weeks after moving in with me, Luke would creep into my bed late at night and just hold on to me tightly. It’s hard to explain what passed between us during those prolonged, poignant hugs, but it was profound and beautiful. I didn’t have to say anything; he was drawing substance from me, almost by osmosis. I was his rock, his anchor. I was the source of masculinity and strength for his developing manhood. No matter what I was experiencing inside, no matter what challenges I was facing, I was Luke’s dad and he needed me. He had questions that I needed to answer. His young developing masculine soul needed to draw from a man and that man was me, his father. This was a revelation to me. I realised how much my son needed me, and the impact that I as a father would have on him – for good or bad. I realised that there was a window of opportunity for me to give Luke what he needed and I realised that my willingness and ability to do this would quite possibly be the single biggest influence on his development as a man. Fatherhood matters deeply, profoundly and undeniably. Any man who becomes a father needs to take this responsibility-laced privilege very seriously. And this applies equally to girls and boys. The questions that my daughter Blythe needed me to answer differed slightly from Luke’s but she needed my presence, love and consistent input just as much as her brother did. Fathers are the most powerful and important men in their children’s lives. Every boy longs to be mentored by his father; every girl longs to be adored by her dad. A father is his daughter’s first romance and his son’s first hero. He is their first, most important experience of who and what a man is. What we expose our children to, and what we teach them through our lives, words, actions and interactions imparts to them their very sense of self, the inner fabric that will equip them for confidence and success or fear and failure. The words we share with them in their formative years become their inner voice as adults. Being the most important man in someone’s life is a privilege that comes with profound responsibilities. Your children will come to you to answer the deepest questions of their hearts. Throughout their developing years they will ask you a thousand times and in a thousand different ways to answer key questions about themselves that no-one else can answer quite like you can. Questions about their identity, their value, their validity. Your son will want to know what it means to be a man and whether he has what it takes. Your daughter will want to know if she is worth fighting for, if you delight in her. Answer well and you will lay an unshakeable foundation for your children’s emotional well-being and character. Answer badly or don’t answer at all and you will wound them and quite possibly set them up for a lifetime of emotional struggle. Every father influences the lives of his children forever. That’s a given. Whether this impact is for good or for harm is the choice every father has to make. Very few men set out to deliberately harm their children, yet most men struggle to give their children all they need, mainly because they didn’t receive what they needed from their own fathers. Most adults carry some hurt from their relationship with their fathers whether they are conscious of it or not. Some of these wounds are blatant and debilitating, such as when physical or sexual abuse has taken place, but most are subtle, caused by a father being absent, or present but not engaged; being emotionally unavailable or distant; not seeing, nurturing and validating; wanting their children to be something different to what they are; being too strict or too laissez-faire. The list is long. These wounds don’t destroy but they damage. They affect the ability of their children to be fully alive. They erode their self-esteem and subtly but significantly affect the important life choices they make as adults. Being a great father doesn’t just happen. It takes a deliberate commitment and consistent action. It cannot be outsourced or delegated; it must be handled personally. Just as a safe can only be opened by the key specifically designed for it, you as a father hold the key to unlock the potential in your child’s life. The wonderful thing about being a dad is that we all get to be a hero. Of course, this means that we have to live up to some pretty high expectations. But that’s okay, because every dad has it in him to be a hero to his children. And if we get it right we leave our children with a priceless gift. Impressed into their psyche and souls is the knowledge of a man as a strong, loving sanctuary, a place where there is safety and fun and affirmation. And they will live their lives out of this reservoir of grace and strength. Our sons are more likely to grow up honourable men, treating women with respect and caring for their own families. Our daughters are more likely to grow up as women of stature, making good choices and building strong families of their own. The world is crying out for men who will step up to the plate and be great fathers. And it’s not difficult, the two most important words in a dad’s lexicon are: “Be There”.

April 14, 2016

A, B, Zzzz

Sleep is a basic physiological need – it is crucial for our health because when we are asleep, our bodies repair and restore themselves. Children, especially, need quality, consistent sleep to thrive. A good night’s sleep not only prepares their bodies for tackling the next day, but it also significantly affects their behaviour – children who do not get enough sleep can easily become irritable and moody, and they may display more impulsive or defiant behaviour. In addition, poor or inadequate sleep can lead to cognitive problems that impact their ability to learn. Despite the importance of sleep, most children get less than the recommended amount – roughly 10 hours each night for school-aged children – needed for their bodies to rest and for their brains to process what they learned during the day (children take on enormous amounts of information daily, and their brains transform subconsciously learned material into active knowledge while they sleep). Of course, getting children to bed on time is not easy! Many master the art of stalling from a young age, while some obstinately fight the Sandman for as long as they can. For others, getting a good night’s sleep may be hindered by sleep disorders, such as sleepwalking, nightmares or insomnia. Some medications, including those for asthma or ADHD, may also affect sleep. Getting your child to bed on time is vital, and there is much you can do to help establish good sleep habits from a young age. Set a routine: Create a predictable age-appropriate routine to help your child prepare for bed. This may include a warm bath, reading or listening to quiet music, etc. Be consistent: Keep bedtime at a set time, even on weekends. A regular bedtime keeps your child’s circadian rhythms on track and is instrumental in allowing him to easily fall and stay asleep. Create a soothing environment: Your child’s room should be a calm and free from stimulation at bedtime. It should ideally be cool, dark and quiet. Encourage other healthy habits: Ensuring that your child gets at least 20 minutes of exercise a day will help him to sleep better at night. Also, limit foods that contain caffeine and sugar, especially in the late afternoon and evening. Limit screen time: Cut off screen time at least one hour before bed. Not only is watching TV or playing games on a tablet or computer stimulating, but it suppresses the body’s release of melatonin, the hormone that helps regulate sleep. Benefits of getting enough sleep It promotes growth: Getting enough sleep guarantees that children’s bodies are producing the right amount of hormones to help them grow. It boosts the immune system: During sleep, the body produces the antibodies needed to fight infection, illness, and stress. It reduces the risk of injury: Children are clumsier and more impulsive when they don’t get enough sleep, making them more accident prone. It regulates emotions: Being overtired can make it difficult for children to manage their emotions, making them cranky and irritable. It influences health: Consistently poor sleep habits in childhood set the stage for adult sleep problems, and place children at greater risk for childhood obesity, as well as adult obesity and diabetes later on. It boosts learning: When children are tired they have more trouble paying attention, are less able to acquire and process new knowledge, and are often unable to effectively store and retrieve information from memory. All of these things are critical components of learning. Sleep is an essential building block for your child’s overall health, well-being and academic success, so make sure that your child is getting enough zzzz’s. Impak is a curriculum provider for home, tutor and school education. Visit www.impak.co.za for more information.

April 6, 2016

90 Things To Do With Kids

Sometimes during school holidays or on the weekends the kids will be looking for fun and interesting things to do. We, along with the help of many parents, have compiled a list of great activities and things to do with the kids. Have a look today! 1. Meet with friends at a park and play with the kids on the playground. Push them on the swings or catch them on the slides. 2. Go to a local cycle way/bike track and go rollerblading. A great way to get out in the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine and exercise. 3. Go ice-skating- wrap up in your warm clothes and head to the closest ice-rink. 4. Have a movie afternoon- great for a rainy day. Rent a couple of good kids movies, make some popcorn and and enjoy the movies. 5. Cook some special treats or family favourites like Gingerbread men or cupcakes. 6. Go to an indoor play centre. Let the kids try out the playground and you can have a coffee with a friend. 7. Try Tenpin Bowling- make sure the bumper bars are up for the little ones. 8. Explore your local bird park, butterfly world or the zoo to see all the animals, birds and reptiles. 9. Get your bike helmets and go for a bike ride. 10. Organise a kid swap with friends who work. Your kids get to have their friends over for the day to play, and there are a lot more participants for games. 11. Browse through your local history museum, great to show the kids how things use to be. 12. Try Horse-riding- lots of riding centers provide lessons or short rides for younger children. 13. Visit a farm and see all the farm animals, you may be able to feed and pat some of them. 14. Take a day trip to a historic town or local attractions. Sometimes we never visit the attractions in our local area. Be a tourist in your own town. 15. Spend the day at the beach, go for a walk and play some games, take the Frisbee. 16. Camp out in the garden- kids of all ages will love this experience. 17. Have a picnic or lunch at the local park. Let the kids help pack their favourite lunch and snacks. 18. Do some Gardening with the kids make a herb garden pot, they are fantastic and useful too! 19. Smile! Get the camera out and let the kids take some photos download them on the computer and create a slide show. 20. Get out the play dough- buy some or make your own. This will provide hours of fun for you and the kids. 21. Have a Story writing competition. Help younger children write and illustrate a story. 22. Create a Treasure hunt in the backyard write out a list of things to find, and let them start hunting. 23. Bury a heap of old dinosaur toys and ‘artifacts’ in a sectioned off part of the garden and give all the kids a map and little spades. 24. Blow bubbles, try different shape bubble blowers for lots of fun. 25. Buy some cheap wooden photo frames and get the kids to paint and decorate them for their rooms. 26. Paper Mache…messy but always fun, create a bowl or a piggy bank. 27. Make masks from paper plates, with stick on ears and eyeholes. 28. Create a masterpiece- get canvas and paints and let the children express their creativity with Painting. 29. Play let’s pretend – play shopkeeper or mom/baby or anything you like. 30. Teach the kids to sew or thread with lacing cards. 31. Have a theme days – make it blue day so everyone wears blue, you eat blue food, use blue paints/materials for craft work, sing blue songs, etc. 32. Have a lazy day where everyone gets to stay in their PJ’s and relax. 33. Write and create a play -see who is great at drama and acting. 34. Conduct some simple Science experiments- see the internet for ideas. 35. Try your hand at scrap booking, with some coloured paper, kid’s photos and embellishments. 36. Grocery shopping- take the kids to the Supermarket and let them help you shop, cross off the items on your shopping list. Buy something easy to make together for lunch. 37. Board games Monopoly, Scrabble, Hungry Hippos, and more if there are a few kids have a tournament. 38. Card games from the simple Snap to Go Fish to Canasta for the older ones. Have lollies or chocolates for prizes. 39. Do a Jigsaw, set up a special area and let everyone help – the harder the better. 40. Make a Kite then take it outside on a windy day to fly it. 41. Go fishing in the river or sea and catch and release. 42. Catch local transport – take a train to Simons Town or a bus ride around the City. 43. Make birthday cards together – Grandparents and friends will love the creativity of your kids. 44. Lots of Local Libraries hold story-telling workshops during school holidays, and then the kids can borrow some new stories to read. 45. Go Swimming- head to the local indoor pool or to the beach or river. 46. See the latest Movie at the Cinema. Get your kids to tell you the storyline afterwards. 47. See what’s on at the Theatre or a live show. The kids will love you for this. 48. Make some music, play some music instruments or sing along to their favourite tunes. 49. Dress Ups- a family favourite. Find some outfits and play dress ups. 50. Make Plaster Models and then paint them in your favourite colours. 51. Make a collage- go to the park or beach and collect bark, seaweed etc and make a collage. 52. Bush Walk- head off the beaten path and go for a bush or nature walk. 53. Make a Movie – grab the video camera, write a plot, dress up and film your family as the stars of your very own

April 1, 2016

3 Beauty Hacks found at the bottom of your Diaper Bag

Often, I find myself in a beauty aisle deciding whether the R200 spent on a body oil is actually worth the splurge but usually end up settling on the idea that I would much rather spend the same amount on a bag of nappies because who would want soft skin and wet patches of carpet throughout their house, anyway? Baby products are designed in a way that they only contain the mildest ingredients to ensure that even the most sensitive skin is nourished and taken care of. It got me thinking that maybe it’s time we swap out our usual expensive “adult” products for baby products which will not only mean we’d be taking better care of ourselves with the use of gentle products, but perhaps saving a buck or two for the next pack of nappies or I don’t know… a new lipstick? Here’s a list of three seemingly normal baby products, found at the bottom of my son’s diaper bag, which pack a number of uses and beauty hacks and has prompted me to adding them to my beauty shelf. Baby Powder I bet that you have a lot of unused baby powder, don’t you? Baby powder is really versatile and can help remove oil stains from clothes, absorb dampness in smelly gym shoes or bags, cool your bed sheets in summer and remove beach sand from your skin with the greatest of ease but it also packs a host of beauty functions too. Try dusting a thin layer of baby powder to your lashes in between coats of mascara, to get voluminous lashes that will have everyone wondering what’s your trick. The baby powder adds thickness and length by clinging on to the lashes that are already coated in a layer of mascara. Improve the longevity of your lipstick by applying your lipstick as usual, and then placing a tissue over your lips before dusting baby powder around the lip area (using a powder brush). Apply a second coat of lipstick to top it off and enjoy longer lasting lip coverage. If you’ve nicked yourself after shaving and are struggling to stop it from bleeding, apply a dash of baby powder which will help clot the blood and stop it from bleeding everywhere. Baby Oil Baby oil restores lost moisture and is especially great during the winter months, by adding just a few drops to your bath water, it can help hydrate skin and leave it feeling smoother and softer all day long. Other uses for baby oil includes removing makeup as the oil helps to gently break down water-proof lip and eye products, which is where the skin tends to be the most sensitive. It is also a great post-shaving product and helps to soften cracked or dry heels. Bum Cream It shouldn’t shock you that baby bum cream is a great way to reduce redness, hence it works so well on bum rashes, but the cream can also be used as a spot treatment and works to treat acne or reduce any red blotchiness. You can also use baby bum creams like Sudocrem to prep and prime your face, to ensure that the coverage of your foundation is long lasting. Lastly, if you find your foundation is a little darker than you’d like, try adding a dash of bum cream (colourant free) to help lighten the formula. That wraps up the beauty hacks that you can find at the bottom of your diaper bags. Have you heard of any of these before? I’d love to know which you will be making use of soon. Like my beauty tips? Instead of giving into my broodiness, I committed to an entire year of sharing beauty tips daily on social media. Check out #365BeautyTips or follow me on Instagram: @byMeganKelly to see more!

March 24, 2016

The Importance of Rhyming

Having just had the wonderful opportunity to see Julia Donaldson live presenting her show “the Gruffalo”, again emphasised the importance of rhyming. Julia has a wonderful way of writing the most delightful books which all children love. They are easy and fun to read and the wonderful use of rhyme makes you want to break out into song! Which is exactly what Julia did! Did you know that her first book “a Squash and a Squeeze” originated from a song and then became a book? I still have that song in my head. Why is rhyming so important you say? Well, think about it, if you can make a rhyme about something doesn’t it make it easier to remember? Yes, of course it does! I’m sure you can remember making up rhymes in school as part of your study skills to help you to remember the work? This is perhaps more relevant in the senior primary child’s life but for the younger child the reason why rhyming is so important is because the children learn to differentiate between different sounds by hearing the phonetic differences and similarities in words. It helps children to break words into smaller parts and to recognise smaller parts in words. These skills are important for reading and writing. Songs and rhymes also teach children how to use expression which is also important when learning to read. Rhyming also helps children to predict the story and gives them decoding skills. Children who struggle with reading often find it difficult to break words down into their individual sounds. Thus, rhyming is a very helpful tool to improve their phonemic awareness skills. An easy way to enrich your children is to read them nursery rhymes when they are little and to continue with lovely picture books that rhyme such as the Julia Donaldson books. Children love to rhyme and it can be done incidentally, while you are driving in the car, are at the shops or taking a walk in the park. Children love to do it and often make up the silliest rhymes, but learning should be fun, so let it be.

March 16, 2016

Counteracting Anxiety in Children

“Feel free & live your life” “I’m scared they won’t come back” “Don’t believe everything you think” “Act the way you want to feel” “A happy child is a thriving child” Symptoms & Signs of anxiety in your child Symptoms could range from physical to emotional and have various onsets whereby the duration could vary from time to time. Physical symptoms may be non-verbal signs like nervous fidgeting more often than usual, showing aggression which is out of character like shouting, tantrums and showing frustration. The child acts different than usual, may show more tiredness, stomach aches, muscle tension, trouble sleeping, sudden nightmares, restlessness during waking hours, irritability and lack of concentration Emotional symptoms: Acting more emotional than other times, excessive worry most days of the week, more sensitive and crying more often, defensiveness and some reactions could be unexpected. Things that could play a role or could cause anxiety: Genetics Brain Biochemistry Worries Onset of an event Panic attacks Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Overactive flight-fight response Stressful life circumstances Learned behaviour Bullying Death of a loved one Divorce of parents A child with a family member who has an anxiety disorder has a greater chance of also developing an anxiety disorder Possible ways of counteracting Anxiety in your child Notice the signs early on in child’s life to prevent any further development of anxiety Once you have identified the signs if is recommended that you have a conversation with your child to figure out why child has become anxious and what are the cause/causes of his/her behaviour Worries could feel like a burden to a child and could also affect their social activities and interactions with their peers. It could create feelings of being overwhelmed & feeling out of control, that is why it is crucial to make the child feel save to communicate and build trust Children worry about their sudden fear and sometimes do not know why they feel the way they feel and also feel confused and isolated These problems can affect a child’s day-to-day functioning with reaching goals and concentrating on daily tasks. These children could be misunderstood and misinterpreted most of the time. One should work patiently with the child to reach a positive outcome Help your child cope Acknowledge the problem Provide support in an unconditional way Talk openly with your child about how she/he feels in a non-judgemental way Provide comfort, communication and assist child to cope with feelings and assure child that he/she is save and loved Remind child that letting go of fear and obstacles, it makes room for fun and enjoyment Your child could overcome any obstacle and also learn additional coping skills in how to cope with new future challenges on the way A therapist could look at the symptoms in-depth and also confirm, diagnose and create a plan to help child with coping and with future onsets.

March 4, 2016

Let them go… Let them go…

School started last month and yet your little ones are still clawing to you like you are delivering them to a place of intense torment and misery! The teachers have to pry your child off you and you have just discovered that they have superhuman strength. They hold so tight on to you, with those tiny arms and legs, that breaking free of their grip leaves you sweatier than a cardio gym session! Once you finally break free, and reorganise your clothes, you head to your car walking the walk of the guilty, of the unsure, of the broken-hearted and anxious parent. You second guess your decision to leave them. Every single day. And some days you cry yourself to work/home – the entire drive. When is this going to get better???! I’ve had a few parents call me over the past weeks to ask if they are doing the right thing? Are they causing more harm than good leaving them? Should they say goodbye or just sneak away? Does this aggravate separation anxiety? And my answer is this little scenario… Imagine you need to have an operation. Your mom is the one who will be taking you on the day and you are very nervous about it. Unfortunately, the day looms and there is no backing out. Your mom arrives and takes you to the hospital. You meet the doctor and it’s time for your mom to go. Which way would you prefer she said goodbye… OK my love. (HAND SQUEEZE) The doctor is here so I am going to leave you. (STILL HOLDING HAND) I am sure he’s a great doctor and it will be over before you know it! (TIGHT HUG) It won’t be too bad, you will see, and I will be back before you even realise. (HAND PAT) Good luck my love! Mommy loves you so much! I will be thinking of you the whole time. (BIG TIGHT HUG AND A WORRIED GOODBYE LOOK) Bye…. (SOFT TEARY VOICE) or…. Look darling! The doctor is here. He is so efficient – imagine how great he’s going to be in the op! I am going to go and leave you to it. I know you are in great hands and you are going to be absolutely fine. I will be back to collect you when it’s over. I love you. Bye darling. (HUG and KISS) Which one instils more confidence in you? Which one stills your concerns over the op? Just let them go. Say a very upbeat, positive goodbye that reassures them and makes them feel that if you are so happy to leave them and so confident about the goodbye, they must be in a safe place and they are sure to have a fun day. Prolonging the goodbye, giving in to the tears only makes them feel that you are also not sure about leaving them and equally worried, and if you are going to hurry back as soon as possible, it must be a terrible place to be. So… when the teachers tell you to just say a goodbye and go, trust them. And the answer to “When is this going to get better?” is, as soon as you can confidently leave them. They will pick up on your confidence and soon feel it themselves. You can do this!

February 18, 2016

Teaching with routine and sameness

Have you ever noticed how your children love to catch you making a mistake, especially when you do something out of order? Children learn about the world around them by sameness and routine and they crave patterns that they can learn from. One evening we had visitors over for dinner and it was a special occasion. The food was coming out of the oven in phases to keep it warm. One of our young guests must have been hungry so she served herself what was on the table and took a bite. My oldest daughter, the perfectionist child, was quick to catch her breaking a dinner-time rule and called attention to the violation. Our family procedures had trained her that we all start eating together, after the blessing. Use this teaching tool to your advantage, especially when you want to increase the cooperation from your young children. Family situations such as the morning rush, dinner time and bedtime are 3 situations that can be stressful on parents and children. Creating a reoccurring sequence of events during these times can make them easier to get through. Let’s take bedtime for example. Children don’t like going to bed because they fear that they are going to miss out on something good. They have this perception that “the REAL party begins when they have to go to bed.” At the same time, parents can’t wait to get their children in bed so they can de-stress, relax or in some cases, get more work done. If your children sense that you’re trying to rush them off to bed, they will prolong the event. Allow your children to help you come up with all of the activities at bedtime and put them in sequential order. Have them help you create large pictures that represent each of the events in the sequence: a story book, a pair of pyjamas, a toilet, a glass of water, etc. Next, tape each of the pictures high on the wall and out of their reach, placing them in sequential order. The additional key to success with this activity is to include your children in the process of creating it and to make it fun! Put aside your mind chatter and stress, and take on an excited demeanour as you call out each of the items in order to have them complete them. Go with them and participate. The more engaged and fun you are in this process, the more they will feel a part of it. If your child catches you doing something out of order, relax and don’t get defensive. Be humble and thank them for catching the mistake. They will feel respected and important that they uncovered the flaw. Just try it on purpose sometime; break a sequence just to give them something to focus on and watch their legalistic nature make an issue of your mistake.Teaching children cooperation and social skills can be a challenge. Your little children do not arrive in the world ready to comply. It takes time, patience, and practice to get them to cooperate and participate. Use routine and sameness whenever you can and notice how much easier parenting can be.

January 20, 2016

15 Chores a toddler can do

Helping out around the house is a normal part of being in a family. And for pre-schoolers, getting to help like the grown-ups do can seem as wonderful as a trip to the toy store. Unfortunately, what’s tough for most parents is finding stuff that a pre-schooler can do without creating a bigger mess or requiring constant help. Here are fifteen ways you can let your pre-schooler get involved in doing regular chores. Remember, you’ll need to do a little initial training; show and explain, in simple terms, how to do a chore several times, and be available to help. Your children will catch on quickly. Be sure to give lots of praise when they do it all be themselves. 1. Make a bed. Don’t expect bed-making perfection, but most kids (from about 3 years-old on up), can manage to pull a sheet and cover up to the right end of the bed. Or, if that’s a bit too much, divide the bed-making responsibility. Mom or Dad can help with the big covers, and your child can place pillows and stuffed animals appropriately. 2. Wipe the bathroom counter. Unless your bathroom counter is a km long, that is. Keep some non-toxic cleaning wipes in the bathroom, and have your pre-schooler do a quick swipe of the bathroom counter in the morning and/or every night after brushing teeth. 3. Clear dishes. From about age 3 up, kids can help carry dishes from the table to the kitchen counter. Watch for breakable glasses or things that will easily slip (trying to balance utensils on a plate may be too much at first) but don’t be afraid to let your pre-schoolers try. Older pre-schoolers can learn to scrape their scraps into the trash or compost bucket and then place their plates on the counter, in the sink, or even in the dishwasher. 4. Wipe the table. Don’t expect perfection, and do expect that crumbs will end up on the floor. But pre-schoolers can easily use a clean, wet washcloth to wipe off the table after eating. 5. Feed a pet. A pre-schooler can scoop out the appropriate amount of food for a cat, dog or other family pet. If you have a plastic container handy, and your pre-schooler can use a step stool to reach the sink, he can also fill the water dish. 6. Sweep. Most pre-schoolers can’t handle a full-size broom very well. But a hand broom, such as might be used to sweep off a table top, works great with a dust pan for a pre-schooler-sized sweeping tool. Give your child a small area to sweep. My 4 year old sweeps under the chairs and table after our meals. I still do a thorough sweep at the end of the day, but she gets most of the crumbs first. 7. Mop. Kids love mops, in my experience. Alternately, a spray bottle filled with nontoxic cleaner plus a child-sized sponge mop (you’ll find lots of “toy cleaning supplies” at any major toy store, and many function well) is a great option. Again, you’ll want to assign a specific space. And tread carefully; pre-schoolers tend to be trigger happy with the cleaning spray. 8. Collect rubbish bins. My 3 year-old son easily handles the chore of bringing the rubbish bin from his bedroom and the kid’s bathroom to the kitchen, where I empty them into a rubbish bag. He then returns them to their spot. Keep your rubbish bins small if your pre-schooler has trouble moving them when full. 9. Help unload the dishwasher. Take a few moments to teach your pre-schooler where forks, spoons and serving utensils go; they can take charge of emptying the silverware tray. (Just remove those sharp knives, first.) 10. Pick up toys. One of the most important chores a pre-schooler can tackle is learning to pick up their own messes. Make it easier by having them clean up one thing at a time: blocks or dolls. Facing a huge mess is as overwhelming for a child as it is for an adult. 11. Help with laundry. Pre-schoolers can help sort laundry and can carry clean laundry back to their rooms. 12. Dust furniture. A furniture polishing cloth, or just a soft cloth, works great for pre-schoolers who are learning to help out. They may not do a perfect job, and they can’t reach high surfaces, but they can get chair legs, table tops, even TV screens. 13. Vacuum. Older pre-schoolers can learn to handle a hand vacuum or even a full-size vacuum if it isn’t too heavy. Pushing the vacuum across a rug or carpet is often too difficult, but a pre-schooler can use the vacuum wand or the hand vacuum to swipe up crumbs, get in corners, and clean out under furniture cushions. 14. Pick up sticks/ garden debris. When you get out to do that garden work, take your pre-schooler with you. They can help grab sticks, pine cones, and other garden debris and put it in a pile for you, or into the wheelbarrow to be removed. 15. Wipe up spills. Designate a low drawer for cleaning cloths and old hand towels; when your pre-schooler spills a cup of water, he can easily grab a towel and mop up the spill. Teach your pre-schoolers to use a towel to get up the wet, and then to follow it with a wet washcloth for sticky messes (milk, juice, etc.). Author: Annie Mueller

January 6, 2016

Guilt: No Parent Can Escape It

If most working parents are honest with themselves, they’d agree that with Monday morning comes a big sigh of relief. You pick up your bag, kiss your little darlings good bye and head out the door to work. Freedom! At work the prospect of chasing your toddler around trying to get them dressed, wiping sticky finger swipes off the walls, washing endless loads of bottles or wrestling whinging, tired children is a distant memory. You can sip quietly on a cup of tea and have adult conversations without frequent, high-pitched interruptions. It’s easy to see how mothers and fathers alike suffer from a continuous tinge of child-related guilt. Parents who work and parents who don’t – no-one is immune to it. Shakil Ahmad from baby brand Krayons says that there are a couple catalysts that set off parental guilt. Leaving the child with a carer to return to work Relying on television at ‘difficult’ times of the day – like bath time! Feeding the child convenience or junk food Reprimanding the child at any time. “Every parent suffers from it, and there’s no real solution bar giving yourself a break,” says Ahmad who works on the 80/20 rule in his household. “I try to stick to limited television time, limited junk food and distraction-over-discipline 80% of the time – it’s more realistic to know that you can’t be perfect 100% of the time. Then when you slip for 20% of the time, you don’t have to beat yourself up.” Ahmad says that scheduling one hour of every work day to really bond with your child also helps him relieve guilt of leaving his kids between 7am and 6pm each day. “I allocate an hour of my time to bath my kids every day – it’s a special time for just us where we chat, play and enjoy the time together. There are limited distractions and I make sure that I leave my work issues, and my cellphone outside of the bathroom.” Instead of focusing on what you might be doing wrong – focus on what you know you’re doing right with your kids, and do more of that. Remember that the best thing you can give them is the gift of your time. Undivided time.

December 7, 2015

Listening Tips For Parents

We all want our kids to listen to us, but how often do we really listen to them? Are we excellent models of attentive listening? Or are we teaching them how to half listen whilst otherwise distracted? If you really want your kids to listen to you, the first step is to know how to do this yourself. Here are a few tips… Be present. The average adult is only present for around 3% of their life. The rest of the time we are lost in remembering the past, imagining the future or off in some fantasy in our minds. On top of this we are distracted by technology, to do lists, work and personal drama. No wonder our kids haven’t learned how to listen. To really hear someone you need to be there, actively listening. The easiest way to stay present in a conversation is to focus on your breathing. If part of your awareness is on your breathing you can’t get lost in your mind. So put aside your phone, tell your mind that you will deal with everything else just now, and breathe and listen. Paraphrase. Learn to mirror back to your child what they have said to you. Paraphrase what they’ve been talking about to show them that you are listening and to clarify that you have actually understood their message. Ask them if you’ve understood correctly and as they correct you on what you’ve misunderstood you will gain a deeper understanding of where they are at. Be patient. We’re often too quick to jump in a finish a sentence or try to get to the heart of the matter before our kids have finished speaking. Let them ramble a bit. It may take them some time to organise their thoughts or to really get to the point of what they are getting too. They may repeat themselves or skirt around the real issue. If you interrupt or jump in with questions you may miss out on the crux of the issue by directing the conversation in a different direction. Use all aspects of communication. Sit facing your child, look at how they are using their body (look out for facial expressions, gestures, posture), keep your body language open, listen for changes in tone, pitch and speed of their voice. Only 7% of communication is in the words that we use. If you pay attention you will see that there is a lot of non verbal stuff going on too and this can often tell you more about what your child is going through than what they say. Ask interesting questions. We say that we want our kids to open up to us, but then we ask the most arbitrary, meaningless questions. “How was your day?” invites a response such as “Fine”. “What was the weirdest thing that happened today?” may get you a slightly more interesting answer. Try asking about things that are meaningful to your child. Children feel loved, heard and understood when we show an interest in things that are important to them, even if they are not important to us. True communication involves putting aside your own agenda and truly getting to know somebody else and what makes them come alive. Active listening is something that anyone can learn. It takes some practice, but the rewards are worth it – children who feel loved, heard and respected and so are more likely to love, hear and respect us in return.

December 3, 2015

Holiday Guilt

Mothers, particularly, are notorious for the amount of guilt they carry around. It starts right from the birth… the natural birthers feel bad that their babies have squashed heads; the caesarians feel bad that they couldn’t not cut-it! Then the working moms feel guilty for not being with their kids and the stay-at-homers feel guilty because their kids are driving them nuts and they wish they were elsewhere, and that they’re not adding to the household income; and the half day moms feel bad because they’re neither properly contributing at work or at home. And on and on it goes. And then come the holidays… Just to compound the guilt a little, the working moms wish they could take more time off, the ones at home wish they could have a break, everyone feels bad because they don’t have the cash to do all the million holiday activities that are out there and screaming for enrolment. At some point we’ve got to all just STOP and accept that we are good enough, we are doing enough and our kids are going to be ok, whether they do the vacation cooking/drama/tennis/pottery class or not. And the real crux of the matter is that, as with most things, it is the quality and not the quantity of time with our children that really counts. If you have 5 minutes or 5 hours with them, make sure that in that time you really connect, on their level, focusing on what they want to do, meeting them where they’re at. Switch off your phone, clear your mind of the myriad other things you need to do, and simply connect. And holiday activities with the kids do not need to break the bank – I bet that your children would be just as happy with a picnic in the park, a visit to a friend, or riding their bikes up and down the road if it meant that they got your full attention for the duration of whatever it was you decided to do together. Let’s all take a break from the guilt this holidays and just do the best we can and let ourselves off the hook when we can’t. As I always say to my clients, it’s about baby steps – if all you can manage is 5 minutes of playing Barbies on the floor, then it’s 5 minutes more than yesterday, and these little moments of presence with our children add up and make for the most special holiday memories they’ll have.

November 26, 2015

THINGS EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW ABOUT LITTLE GIRLS

They are show offs My daughter knows just how to turn it on. She knows that dimpled smile is a “sure thing” to anything she wants. You will be powerless to their charms They are master manipulators It took me a long time to train my husband in my ways. It literally took her minutes. He is no longer whipped by me but by a tiny little girl. Some days I see her looking at me with a glint in her eye and smurk that says “His all mine now!” The nerve! They have medicinal powers No matter how cheesed off I am at the world. She just has to lie on my chest and all is right with the world. They has Diva tendencies Before she learnt to walk or talk but she learnt to “Diva”. She knows how to get her way. Her father stops just short of fanning her with palm leaves while she loungers with her favourite cocktail of Lactogen. I am almost expecting her to demand all white gardenias and Perrier bottled water with her two minute noodles. They are attention junkies Our world already revolves around her but that is not good enough for her. Oh No. If she catches your slipping on the attention front she cracks her proverbial whip. I have seen this tiny human fake laugh to get attention. Last week I took my eyes off her for a second and this attention seeker “accidentally” broke my sunglasses. Quickly back in line! They are fearless I have watched her put her hands in her poo and straight to her mouth! She can stomach just about anything my princess. They are witches She has powers. In the 10 years I know MY husband I have seen him cry a handful of times. None of those times were at my wedding. That very expensive wedding dress, professional make-up, nor those touching vows inspired a single tear drop. Its 10 years and I am still upset about it! This little sorcerer crawls and tears!!!!! Holy Crap! She is good They dance to the beat of their own tune. She stood up without holding onto anything a month ago , My husband grabbed his phone and I froze and held my breath my baby was about to take her first steps. The world stopped turning for me. I was about to witness a human miracle. And what did She do…she started to dance on the spot. Psyche! She did this For two weeks too before she decided to walk. Clearly just to mess with us! Your tot is hands down the cutest you will ever lay eyes on! Made you giggle? Share it, Kennedy will take it as a standing ovation. All Hail Queen Kennedy!

November 20, 2015

Stopping Night Feeds In A Young Toddler

It is important to note that everyone wakes up spontaneously many times during the night. So, even if your toddler is ‘sleeping through’ the fact is that he is probably waking up at least 4 – 5 times a night. Most of the time he will simply stir, turn over or call out, but will be able to go back to sleep. Should he wake fully, he will be able to go back to sleep independently by using comforting and familiar methods that he knows such as finger sucking, holding onto or snuggling down with a security object. Poor sleepers, however, wake in the same way, but are unable to self soothe to go back to sleep without some sort of external intervention from a care giver such as being stroked or tickled, given a drink or having a parent sleep alongside them. These children therefore have difficulty staying asleep and wake up frequently in the night. As long as your child is not ill, it is important to know that toddlers do not need any nutritional support during the night in the form of milk feeds. A bedtime milk feed is always a good idea as it is a lovely end to the day where you can spend some quality “cuddle” time with your little toddler. Try to ensure that the feed is completed before your child falls asleep. Getting rid of night time feeds Remove the expectation of this middle of the night “event”, and he will no longer wake up for it. So, if he is used to breastfeeding or getting a bottle of milk or juice in the middle of the night, stop offering it, and he will soon stop waking for it. As long as weaning off the breast is done with a lot of emotional support from all the child’s parents, nanny etc, it should not interfere too much with his sleep patterns. However, if he has a sleep association with the breast, he will need plenty of reassurance when he wakes in the night expecting a feed !! Stay with him, hold him and rock him until he is asleep (no matter how much he protests!) Do this each time he wakes. Offer him sips of water in case he is thirsty. When he is happy to comforted without a feed, but still needs you to be there, begin sleep training. Be firm and loving, and most of all consistent. Yes, it is as simple as that! It is important to implement sleep training with each waking session no matter how much he protests. If you are trying to break a feeding-to-sleep habit, pick him up if he does not settle, and gently rock him until he falls asleep, no matter how much he protests. Only place him back into his cot when he is asleep. Repeat this each time he wakes. It may take a few sessions (maybe a day or two) for him to learn that he doesn’t need to feed in order to fall asleep. With a bit of luck he will simply stop waking, but he may need some persuasion to go back to sleep totally unassisted, so you will need to move to the next step when you are ready. Getting rid of rocking to sleep habit Sometimes it will be easier for you to settle your little one, then leave the room for short periods of time to enable you to catch your breath and regroup your emotions, so when he wakes you up in the middle of the night expecting to be rocked back to sleep, Pick him up and hold him close until he stops crying. As soon as he is calm and drowsy, but not asleep, place him gently back into his cot. Say some soothing words and walk away from the cot, even if he begins to protest. Stay away from him for one minute, then return to his side if he is still protesting. Pick him up and settle him (no matter how long it takes). Reinforce the sleep object. When he is calm and drowsy, but not asleep, place him gently back into his cot. This time, wait for two minutes before going back to him if he is still crying, then repeat your calming strategies. If necessary, repeat the procedure, each time adding two minutes of crying time before going back in to soothe or settle him. Keep going each time he wakes in the night, starting from one minute of separation at the start of each session. The hardest part, of course, is to follow through with the behaviour management each time he wakes in the night expecting to be fed or rocked back to sleep. Persevere, it will be worth it! BY ANN RICHARDSON

November 18, 2015

Childhood Obesity

Globally, obesity is rapidly on the rise. For the first time in the history of mankind, the number of people who are overweight or obese measure up to the number of people who are underweight due to hunger. It has been estimated that if something is not done about the surge of obesity, half of all people will be overweight/obese by 2030. The most worrying is that this trend is not only seen amongst our adult population but also amongst children. Over a decade, overweight has increased from 10.6% to 18.2% in South African children aged 2 – 5 years. Consistently, girls and female adults are more affected. South Africa further carries a double burden of malnutrition with not only rising rates of childhood obesity but also still high prevalence of child undernutrition. Undernutrition places a child at especially high risk for developing obesity, which then promotes the vicious cycle which we are grappling with in the current socio-economic environment. Being overweight or obese increases one’s risk of heart disease and stroke, high blood pressure, diabetes and certain cancers. Overweight or obese children have an increased risk of developing these diseases earlier in life and are more likely to remain obese throughout their adult life. Not only does obesity have far reaching health effects for a child, but it also has vast social and economic implications. These can include bullying, teasing and low self-esteem, as well as increased healthcare costs and loss of income later in life. So what then is the cause for the increase in obesity amongst our children? Poverty, unhealthy diets and physical inactivity are largely to blame. According to Dr Vash Mungal-Singh, CEO of the HSFSA, “Our children are being brought up in an obesogenic environment where unhealthy foods are aggressively marketed to them, time in front of computers and televisions are increasing and appropriate environments for children to be active, safely, are few and far between.” With urbanisation we have also seen an increase in the consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages, energy-dense, nutrient poor foods and lower consumption of fruit and vegetables. Poor feeding practises early in a child’s life further exacerbates the problem. Studies have shown that there is a link between low birth weight and overweight later in life due to overfeeding as an infant. The introduction of ‘weaning foods’ too early (<6 months of age) is another key driver of obesity later in life. In fact a child’s risk starts even before birth with the health and diet of the mother, a concept referred to as the importance of the first 1000 days of a child’s life (from conception to 2 years of age). Poverty has an overarching impact within this context. Lower income groups tend to have higher obesity rates as they opt for foods that are cheap and the most filling, which often means high in energy, fat, sugar and salt with very little other nutritional value. The pregnant mother and young child are most affected. It is clear that obesity is in fact a very complex problem that requires a multi-pronged approach. We are therefore very fortunate to have the support of the National Department of Health in tackling this epidemic with a clear strategy and bold target to decrease the prevalence of obesity by 10% by 2020. This strategy builds on the guidelines of the WHO initiative on ending childhood obesity and includes a wide spectrum of activities including policy and legislative change, education, access to healthy foods and safe places to be active. The HSFSA wants to encourage all parents and caregivers to take action and play their part to prevent overweight and obesity in their own children, starting with the pregnant mother. It is imperative for all pregnant mothers to get appropriate care before, during and after pregnancy to ensure the healthy weight and growth of their babies. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of an infant’s life, followed by appropriate complementary foods is a very effective way in reducing the risk of obesity. Providing healthy foods for young children and adolescents, limiting the intake of sugar-sweetened beverages and encouraging play time rather than TV time are all great strategies to combat overweight and obesity. Sources: For the first time in the history of mankind, the number of people who are overweight or obese measure up to the number of people who are underweight due to hunger. (Global Issues. Obesity. (2010). URL: http://www.globalissues.org/article/558/obesity) It has been estimated that if something is not done about the surge of obesity, half of all people will be overweight/obese by 2030 (Dobbs, R. et al. (2014). Overcoming obesity: an initial economic analysis. McKinsey Global Institute.) Over a decade, overweight has increased from 10.6% to 18.2% in South African children aged 2 – 5 years. (Shisana, O, et al, & SANHANES-1 Team (2013) South African National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (SANHANES-1). Cape Town: HSRC Press.) Studies have shown that there is a link between low birth weight and overweight later in life due to overfeeding as an infant. (Vasylyeva, T.L., Barche, A., & Chennasamudram, S.P. (2013). Obesity in prematurely born children and adolescents: follow up in pediatric clinic: Nutrition Journal 2013, 12:150, http://www.nutritionj.com/content/12/1/150) Consistently, girls and female adults are more affected. South Africa further carries a double burden of malnutrition with not only rising rates of childhood obesity but also still high prevalence of child undernutrition. (Arington, C. & Case, A. (2013). Health: Analysis of the NIDS Wave 1 Dataset. National Income Dynamic Study. URL: http://www.nids.uct.ac.za/publications/discussion-papers/wave-1-papers) The Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa (HSFSA) shines a spotlight on ending childhood obesity.

November 16, 2015

Your Child’s Development – Making it Fun!

“Just as my maternity leave was coming to an end, I was asked by Parenting Hub to review the Skidz Activity Box for 0 – 6 Months.” Our Parenting Hub reader to whom we gave the Skidz Activity Box was preparing to go back to work after being at home for the last four months with her beautiful little boy. Because her baby boy is going to be at home in the care of his Nanny, she told us that she had been trying to find ways to keep him stimulated whilst she was away at work and so the Skidz Activity Box came at just the right time. “What I particularly liked about the Skidz Activity Box is the fact that it comes with manual loaded with information so relevant to my baby boy who is now four months old.” The manual not only gives you a list of activities that you can do from birth to six months but includes detailed instructions on how to do everything as well. These include various physical exercises that you can do with your baby, what will be achieved through these exercises, how to do them and when is best to do them. “The manual is also broken up into a weekly curriculum for 0 to 3 months and 3 to 6 months outlining exactly what you can be doing with your baby every day. What I found so helpful with this weekly curriculum was that I was able to give it to my baby’s Nanny who can follow each activity on a daily basis.” If you don’t want to follow the detailed curriculum, you can set one up that works best for you and your baby and the manual includes a section to guide you as to how to do this – brilliant! The box includes everything that you need to work with to follow the curriculum. Stimulating fabrics, toys, textures, colours and sounds. Everything that you need is included in the box. From our Mom, a big high five to Chantelle du Toit who put together this programme. She told us that she would recommend this product to all moms of little children. “Especially where you have to return to work and you’re not going to put your baby in crèche.” Skidz Activity boxes can be obtained through the Skidz website www.skidz.co.za

October 15, 2015

Food Fun For Fussy Families

If you think that everyone is going to love food as much as you, you’re wrong. Some of us just have no interest in the stuff other than to fill the gap. In fact, balance in a family almost dictates that if one person really loves food there will be someone else who doesn’t value it at all. So fine for us adults, we can take our chances with sub-par nutrition, but what if your little one is refusing all but their favourite five? Here are some tips for getting your kids to develop a healthier and broader view of food and to help the fussier ones to expand their palates. Get your child onto a good multivitamin. That way you can relax about their nutritional balance and take the fight out of mealtimes. The first step to expanding your child’s love of food is to make food something that is fun, relaxed, and choice-driven. Never force a child to eat something. Get your kids involved with the cooking. Cook, bake and generally have fun in the kitchen together. Even if they don’t eat what you’ve prepared together they will start to have positive associations with food. Start a veggie garden. Let your child have their own patch of garden where they can grow a variety of vegetables and fruit. Understanding where food comes from and experiencing the joy of your first harvest can go a long way to enticing kids to eat things out of their comfort zone. Enjoy your food. Yes, you. The more they see you enjoying a variety of foods, the more likely they are to try something new in the future. Eat meals together. Comment on your food – point out what you like about it – the colours, texture, flavours. Pretend that you are a food critic who has just received the most amazing meal ever and let them know why. If you don’t enjoy food then start by examining your own relationship to food before you address your child’s. Make sure your kids understand digestion. Read books together, find fun documentaries, discuss what happens when your food leaves your mouth. Use metaphors for the little ones if necessary, but get your kids to have a thorough understanding of their own bodies and WHY they need to eat a variety of foods. Show them other kids enjoying food. Let them eat with other children, invite kids over, watch Masterchef Junior, have cooking parties. Keep presenting new foods to your child. Even if they only eat their favourite few, just keep offering them some variety. Something at some point will pique their interest, particularly if they keep seeing you enjoying it. Don’t make a big fuss when this happens – just let it be a normal, natural thing for a child to eventually start broadening their reach. Give your kids some control. Children will sometimes use food as a control if the rest of their lives feel out of control or if they are lacking in independence. Make sure that your children have choices in their lives. Keep as much routine as possible when going through major life changes (death, divorce, moving house/schools, holidays, new babies etc). Make sure that the food issue isn’t just a symptom of something else. Food aversions often occur alongside other disorders such as autism, sensory integration issues, stress, other medical conditions. If you’re not sure, have your child checked by an Occupational Therapist, Gastroenterologist, Psychologist, Neurologist or Dietician. Have fun with food. Help your kids to see the joy of food outside of just eating it. Food is a full sensory experience – give them opportunities to explore it as such. Set up a still-life and let them paint a beautiful picture of food, let them sculpt with mashed potatoes, let them roll around in a tub of jelly, make potato stamps. Play games where you identify food by smell or touch. Have a food fight. Keep in mind that there is a difference between a fussy child and a child with food aversion. A fussy child will probably eat eventually if you just don’t offer their favourites and they get hungry enough, but a child with a food aversion will literally starve before trying something new. But whichever one your child is, every child can be enticed to branch out a bit when you add some love and fun into the food mix.

October 13, 2015

A Simple Solution To Sleep

If your child is anything like my children, early morning is what it is all about. It seems to be the question every mother asks… how can I get my child to sleep longer. Obviously there is no simple fix and this is simply something that parents deal with each day. However, once your child reaches the age of being able to understand their little world around them, there certainly are solutions available to aid in getting that lie in that you have been dreaming of. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love clever products. I love innovation and products that can truly change and assist my world. My youngest set of twins were very keen to try this product when it was sent through for us to review. Not only do we battle to keep them in their beds each night, but I have not personally slept late in a long time! Bring on…. The Gro Company GroClock. Firstly my twins loved the idea of them having a clock in their bedroom, especially one that changes all the time and they were keen to give our test run a go. The GroClock is really appealing to the eye and it provides a simple yet affective function. Anything and everything has been thought out when putting this product together. So how does it work? The basic function of the GroClock is to indicate to your child when it is time to go to bed and when it is time to get up each day. The colour and changing display, changes throughout the night. Starting at a warm blue, which is particularly calming for a child’s bedrooms through to sunrise orange and then a little ray of sunshine indicates when it is time for your child to get up in the morning. The GroClock has various settings that you can enable. Not only do you set the sleep and wake up mode but you are able to add additional settings for a day-time nap. The screen brightness is also adjustable ensuring that your child is not disturbed by other night lights. The recommended age for the GroClock is from 2 years +, and is definitely a must for all parents. Available at leading baby stores and online retail outlets like the BabyGroup or visit their Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/ElegantBambino

October 9, 2015

7 Things Every Child of Divorce Needs

PARENTS WHO LISTEN MORE AND SPEAK LESS. A child’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviour may be unstable during this difficult time. They need to be able to express how they feel without their emotions begin stuffed. Some of the things they say may be difficult for the parent to hear, so don’t dismiss or minimise what is said or how they feel. REGULAR ACCESS TO GRANDPARENTS. Relationships with your extended family may be difficult for you, but the kids still need them. Determine what access grandparents and other extended family members will have to your children and remain open to the fact that these adults can be very helpful during this difficult time. It can often times be easier for children to express their feelings to grandparents and others. PARENTS WILLING TO TAKE A PARENTING CLASS. I’m not talking about the inexpensive divorce class that most states require all divorcing parents to go through, I’m talking about a multi-session parenting class in which parents learn about the development stages of childhood and what constitutes normal and abnormal behaviour. Getting this additional help from a class or even a parent coach can prepare you for major behaviour challenges caused by the divorce. FIRM BOUNDARIES AND LIMITATIONS. Even though many children and teens will push the limits even further during a divorce, they require firm rules to know that the parents are still in charge and care. Firm boundaries creates feelings of safety and love, especially during difficult times such as divorce. Avoid the urge to give in and bend rules, just to avoid hearing the dreadful statement, “I want to go live with my Dad (or Mom).” RESPECTFUL TALK ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT. Your issues with your ex are your issues, not your child’s. No matter how terrible of a person you feel your ex was to you or to the kids, your children will most likely still see them as the wonderful, flawless parent they once were. You don’t have to speak affectionately about them in front of the kids, just respectfully. CONSISTENCY ON RULES OF ACCESS TO INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL. Your son comes home from a visitation with the other parent, with a new smart phone, tablet, violent video game, or any other object you normally don’t allow him to have. Avoid thinking that he can keep it just because the other parent gave it to him. Calmly and kindly hold on to that item until the next visitation occurs. You can’t do anything about what your child is exposed to in the other parent’s home, but you can in your own. PARENTS WITH EMOTIONAL SUPPORT. Going through a divorce can be devastating and something no one should go through alone. Seek out support groups in your community to get the help you need. Many churches offer a continuing workshop and support group called Divorce Care that is open to anyone, even if you are not a member of the church. Your children need you emotionally strong and able to provide the support they will need to get through this difficult time.

September 24, 2015

The Amazing Sleep Trainer for Young Children

Toddlers are inquisitive little people. Their heads are filled with new exciting ideas, their hearts are full of adventure and they start each morning full of energy for the new day. Buy, this start might be at an entirely inappropriate time for parents! As a parent of a toddler, there is nothing worse than hearing your child at 5am and realising that they are ready to start their day right away. It is socially acceptable for a toddler to have a daytime nap, but that is less acceptable for tired parents! However if we consider for a moment how the toddler must feel, we realise that it is not as simple as just going back to bed. As adults, if we wake in the night we can check our clocks and know that we have hours more sleep to have before we need to be up. Toddlers don’t yet have that ability. How do they know the difference between 3 minutes until wake up time, and 3 hours? During the sunny summer months, with late sunsets and early sunrises how do they know that daylight outside doesn’t necessarily mean it is time to wake up? Thank goodness the Gro Company has the solution. Introducing the Gro-clock is a toddler sleep training clock that can help the entire family to manage their sleep patterns. By aiding children’s understanding of day and night, it can help prevent early morning wake up calls. The Gro-clock has an illuminated LCD screen with friendly images of stars, and a sun to communicate ‘sleep’ and ‘wake –up’ time. It comes with a free bedtime book called ‘Sleepy Farm’ that explains in a simple and toddler-friendly story, why to use the clock, and why it is important to stay in bed until the sun. The clock is set by the parents, who designate a ‘wake-up’ time. At night the toddler and their parent read the story, and then say goodnight to their clock. The clock ‘goes to sleep’ (the screen shows a sleeping star surrounded by small stars. Through the night the stars count down and in the morning at the designated wake-up time, the screen changes to a happy yellow sun. If the toddler wakes in the night, they will be able to see the stars and understand that it is not morning time yet. They know that it isn’t morning until the sun comes up. By counting down the stars and waiting for the sun to come up, children learn what time they can get out of bed – as set by their parents. The Gro-clock teaches a healthy sleep routine which can transform families’ lives. There is a digital clock display for older children, which is great for encouraging number and time recognition. For toddlers who want to press the buttons on their clock, there is a parental key lock option! The Gro-clock allows parents to enter two different wake up times, so their child can use the clock for their night time sleep and their daytime nap. The brightness on the screen is adjustable and in case it is needed, there is also an alarm clock option. The Gro-clock genuinely changes parents lives, in the UK there are over 1500 5* reviews on Amazon, and parents all over the world can’t stop talking about it! ‘I don’t think I could be without our Gro-Clock now and I would highly recommend it for toddlers!’ Laura Evelyn Bee- Parent Blogger and mum of 3 year old girl. ‘Darcie rarely wakes now and if she does she normally can self soothe. I really don’t know why I have waited so long to try this amazing product …! So if you’re struggling with bedtime and getting them to stay in their own room, make sure you give this a try’ Mummy Burgess- parent blogger and mum of 2 year old Darcie 5am wake ups can be a thing of the past with the Gro-clock- How do you get your children to understand when it’s time to get up? SIMPLE “stay in bed until you see the sun!”

September 21, 2015

Appropriate Boundaries In Parenting

What do parents most want from children? Is it obedience – for children to do what parents think is best whether for the benefit of the child or for the parent? Could it be love – that parents want their children to love them unconditionally as parents try to love their children unconditionally? What about becoming good citizens who are responsible, pleasant to be around, non-offensive to others, and working toward success and independence? And, does love equal respect? So, how do parents get what they most want from their children? The answer is setting appropriate boundaries. These boundaries look and feel different depending on the chosen parenting style. There are typically three styles of parenting with some parents jumping from one style to the other depending on what point or convenience they believe is important to make at the time. The first boundary style is called “lines in the sand” as described here: 4-year old Jody and her mother are eating lunch at a local restaurant. Jody wants some gum out of the gum ball machine and asks her mom for some money. When mom says “Not now, sweetie”, Jody continues to ask and mom continues to deny the request. Mom decides to call a friend on her cell phone and while mom is distracted Jody goes into her mom’s wallet, gets a handful of change, puts the coins in the machine and comes back to the table with some gum in her mouth. After a bit, Mom finally notices Jody chewing gum and tells her friend the whole story as Jody listens. Mom expresses to her friend she just doesn’t understand why Jody doesn’t obey her. Jody is never personally scolded for her poor choice or instructed how to make a better choice. Although many parents want to have fun with their children, when a parent draws a line in the sand as the boundary for the child to follow, the relentless waves of the tide come in and wash the line away each time it is drawn. Therefore, what did Jody learn? If this parenting style is used often, Jody will relentlessly test her mom and other authority figures just to see where the boundaries actually are. Often, foster parents are unsure of where to place boundaries on foster children and may be overly lenient to compensate for the hurt foster children have experienced. “Lines in the sand” parenting tells foster children that 1) they are not good enough to have set or standard boundaries and will need to set their own, 2) the parent is incapable of setting appropriate boundaries, or 3) they are special and don’t need to follow the same boundaries as other family members. This parenting style leads birth and foster children toward rebellion breeding chaos, fighting, disrespect and a low sense of self- worth. The second style of parenting is described as a “brick wall”. Picture it … a tall, thick, red brick wall. Does it signify protection, strength, a sense of durability; or could it be described more cold, looming, harsh, and impenetrable? Children need the protection and strength from parents but never do they need parents to be unwelcoming, forbidding, rigid or unforgiving. Children also need the opportunity to learn to make good choices. A safe and comfortable home environment is where children can experience many opportunities to practice making choices. Being allowed to make choices encourages confidence. If children find the answer to their requests always being “no”, and / or a place where guilt and un-forgiveness is the rule of the day, then those children will seek acceptance elsewhere and usually in unfavourable settings. This parenting style also leads children to rebellion breeding chaos, fighting, disrespect and a low sense of self-worth. Often children run from rigidity because their inherent sense of free will or freedom of choice is being squelched. Foster children have often been reared in homes which have neglected their needs either through moving or non-existent boundaries, such as “lines in the sand”; or very strict boundaries described as “brick wall” parenting. The two extremes in parenting have been explained leaving the third parenting style of the “deep-rooted tree”. Picture a tall sturdy tree whose branches spread out over the yard giving shelter, shade, beauty, freedom, creativity, recreation and a feeling of being tested over time. One of the benefits of this parenting style is the manner in which life’s storms are weathered – with grace, flexibility and wisdom. There’s no room for arrogance, impatience or pity. A quiet strength is rooted in good soil rich with healthy nutrients expressing the importance of taking care of oneself and of others. There are no inappropriate expectations nor judgement but a joy when family members choose to spend time together under the tree. Delightful flowers and foliage often bring forth delicious fruit allowing others to share from the bounty and the beauty this style offers. When the storms come, deeply planted roots hold the tree upright with a strong trunk. The branches know just how far to bend without breaking from the wind. And so it is with this parenting style. As children need strength and wisdom from their parents, they also need flexibility. “Deep-rooted” parenting has a strong foundation supporting children to learn from their personal experiences through proper guidance in making effective choices. These teaching moments become life lessons which mould children’s character and prepare them to respond appropriately in future situations. As foster parents, strength with flexibility offered to all children shows parents care about children as individuals, that parents believe in children and trust their ability to make good choices for their level of development. Children experience freedom and peace when acting within appropriate boundaries. In return, through time parents will receive the love and respect that they demonstrate to others. Although flexibility is the key element in appropriate boundaries, determining how far a parent is willing to go and being consistent in not going beyond the boundary limit is crucial. A

September 10, 2015

4 Things to Help Your Kids to Dream Big

I watched my grandparents work every day of their lives, doing what they became good at and because it paid the bills. Whenever I tried to talk to them about what it might be like to do the work they REALLY loved, they would tell me that was what hobbies were for; a outlet for what you loved to do. During his prime, my grandfather was a carpenter and worked for a hard-to-please boss on a crew that built houses. When he wasn’t slaving away for that task master, he loved to work in his basement workshop, being creative with wood. Of the many things he made by hand, the most beautiful were the hand carved ships wheels. He only made them for those he was close to and he never accepted money for them. I feel fortunate that I have one of those huge wheels mounted on the wall of my office and I think of him every time I look at it. What do you dream of doing if you didn’t have to go to work each day to make your living? Is there something that you love to do and wish you could do it full time? Have you already found it and spend your leisure time working on? Wouldn’t you want your children to find that one thing they feel most passionate about and do it full time? Here are four things you can begin doing immediately as a parent to help your child DREAM BIG. Let them explore. Encourage your children to try new things by giving them opportunities to try them out. Avoid putting pressure on them to succeed and focus more on the experience of different activities. Speak of abundance and avoid scarcity. You want your children to know that anyone can do anything they put their minds to. Avoid mentioning that your family doesn’t have the means, supplies or money to do things. Allow them to help you come up with ideas for doing the things they love to do. Create a vision board or dream book. Purchase composition books for yourself and your children and have them draw pictures in the book that represent what they want to acquire or experience. Allow them to cut out pictures from old magazines to paste into their dream book. Teach them to add a new entry in images or text whenever they have a thought about something they dream of. Find movies and books that illustrate someone who dreamed big. Watch movies with your children or read books to them in which the main characters dreamed big and made it all happen. You want them to know that anything is possible if you dream it, think about it, illustrate it and see it often enough. They say that those who dream big and then follow those dreams will live longer, live happier, and attract healthy, supportive people into their lives. What parent wouldn’t want this for their children? Now you know what it takes to help your child begin their journey toward dreaming big!

September 9, 2015

Diabetes – Who Will Be There For Your Child When You Can’t Be?

The one thing that all parents seem to agree on is that children are unique and those who have diabetes react differently to the same set of circumstances even though they have the same condition. Some teachers will tell you that in their experience, when a child is hypoglycaemic, or hyperglycaemic for that matter, the behaviour exhibited by the youngster is out of character at best and insubordinate when nearing its worst. One teacher stated “I believed that a child with diabetes in my class was genuinely misbehaving, only to find that when insulin was administered normality was quickly restored.” The problem is that “I was a relatively new educator to the school and didn’t have any idea of how to deal with this child.” This is a worldwide problem. Many teachers still do not understand any of the basic concerning issues of diabetes and are ignorant of the consequences. I recently spoke to a mom whose diabetic child went on a school tour . She mentioned how her child, a ten year old, continuously ate and then at meal times had sugars of 20 plus. “I spent the entire 3 days worrying,” she said. Children will be children and we, as adults, need to be aware of how our own kids may react to the temptation of sugar-laden foods. Responsibility is key! Everyone needs to share this responsibility in order for kids to be able to manage their diabetes. The more information that one can supply to teachers and other supervising adults, like one usually do with coaches, the more successful one will tend to be. Sometimes people in authority can forget or even ignore children with diabetes. This oversight can become life threatening. The most successful way to communicate and control your child’s diabetic condition is to form partnerships – with teachers, parents, coaches, drivers, peers and more importantly, other diabetic children. This is possibly going to stand your child in good stead when he or she needs assistance. One needs to be able to be ensure that someone will know what to do in the case of an emergency, or even in the everyday management of the condition, like a friend gently reminding your child to test when he or she “forgets” to do so. All children with diabetes should be encouraged to share their diabetic management plan with their classmates, teachers and basically anyone who they may be around when their parents are absent. In a world where our children are under immense pressure to perform, we need to remember that the added strain on these little ones, who are trying to cope with all of life’s battles as well as managing their diabetes, is a particularly heavy load that even us as parents and adults sometimes forget. I believe that a team effort needs to be made with the schools and districts in provinces all around the country. Also, programmes need to be set up to inform individuals at all levels to assist diabetic learners whatever their needs may be, both inside the classroom and outside on a sports field. What is certain is that all children who are diagnosed with diabetes will need ‘a little help from their friends from time to time. By Mark Moore Mark Moore is a principal of a public primary school in Gauteng. He has a Higher Diploma in Education, a B.Ed Honours, and has recently completed a M.Ed by dissertation at WITS entitled “The Management of Diabetic Learners in South African Schools.”

September 4, 2015

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cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional	11 months	The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance	11 months	This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy	11 months	The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_ga	2 years	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, campaign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assign a randomly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gid	1 day	This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the website is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages visted in an anonymous form.

Cookie	Duration	Description
_gat_gtag_UA_18530557_4	1 minute	No description
pron_ip	session	No description
pvc_visits[0]	1 day	This cookie is created by post-views-counter. This cookie is used to count the number of visits to a post. It also helps in preventing repeat views of a post by a visitor.
tk_ai	session	Gathers information for WordPress by themselves, first party analytics tool about how WP services are used. A collection of internal metrics for user activity, used to improve user experience.