Advice from the experts
Parenting Hub

Back to school – here’s how to deal with 1st term jitters

Dissolve those first term jitters fast and ensure your child is emotionally ready for school and adapts well to his/her new routine with top tips by creative parenting expert in partnership with Toy Kingdom, Nikki Bush. The first bell of 2018 academic year has rung and first term jitters are still a real thing for some kids, especially those who have entered the classroom for the very first time. Bush says the change in a child’s usual environment; in this case a new school – pre-primary, primary and high school, and even moving onto the next grade mean kids find it daunting and stressful to adapt. “And parents the world over agree, when kids are fretful and uneasy, mom and dad are too,” she says. Here’s what Bush advises to help kids cope better. A movement matter: Bush says activities that involve movement are highly beneficial, it raises endorphins and puts kids in a better move. She suggests the following fun, interactive movement games: Rough and tumble Hide and seek Family time is fun time: Quality time with mom, dad also eliminate stress and is ‘”extremely important” to help kids relax. Bush says there are a few entertaining games fit for the whole family. Cricket Soccer Hopscotch “Parent-child interaction has a calming effect on kids and helps to minimise stress. It means bonding as a family, which also acts as a channel of support for children, they feel safe and secure and are reminded that mom and dad are there for them every step of the way,” Bush says. Say play: Since play is a universal language, Bush says “play your sillies away”, it has a calming effect on kids and helps to minimise stress. A few of the games she recommends. Board games Bikes and scooters Lego “Mom and dad, haul out all sorts of games and toys and let them play to their heart’s content. It does wonders,” she says. Drop-off deal: If children are more anxious with one parent than with the other, simply swap drop-off roles and “don’t feel guilty about it”. Bush advises parents to be: Flexible Adaptable

Flourishing Fit Moms

5 Tips for coping with a newborn and a toddler

I (Kit) gave birth to my son Noah on the 24th August and at the time of his birth my daughter, Sarah, was just over 18 months old. The months since have passed in a flash and whilst I’m still new at this mommying 2 thing; below I share 5 tips of what’s worked for me so far as a mom of 2. Be intentional with your 1st born during your 3rd Trimester 3rd trimester is hard, hands down…but with a toddler in-tow its SUPER hard. I found my last few weeks of pregnancy particularly trying but in saying that, I made it my mission to be present with Sarah and invest in quality time with her. I was fortunate enough to have a planned (day before) induction of natural labour and thus had a full day that I got to dedicate to just Se Bear and me. It was the most phenomenal way to end my pregnancy and to feel that I had given her my all, before Noah arrived. PS: I totally sobbed putting her down that night, knowing it was her last night as an only child. Eeek and now the tears come again! Embrace your time in hospital I realize that not everyone chooses to have their babe in a hospital, and I totally respect that, but this tip is for those who do. For me, my time in hospital is what I’ll always remember as bliss for both Noah and me. YES you’re emotional, and sore, and bleeding…but the truth is that while in hospital, you’re expected to do little more than lie in bed and love your little one. First time round, these early days were a blur for me but with my second, I treasured every moment that I got with him in hospital, before the chaos of heading home to a busy toddler began. Involve your toddler where possible While I definitely paid 90% of my attention to Noah in his first few days at home, as I got the hang of things (and trust me, it comes back so quickly second time around), I slowly started including Se in our daily activities. I do have a fulltime nanny but Se loves staying with Noah and I. She watches me feed him (she plays at my feet) and my mum bought her a baby bath to bath her doll, whilst I bath Noah – too sweet for words. Slow down One kid is hectic.. two is just that little bit more hectic. I laugh as I write that, thinking of me stopping on the side of the road in 5pm traffic, after a play date for Sarah, to tend to a screaming 2-week-old Noah..while Se too screamed at the top of her lungs, not understanding why Noah could get out of his car seat and she couldn’t. But that was just one day…for the most part; I’ve actually been blown away by how easily we’ve sailed through these first few months. The one thing I have taken to heart though, is how important it is to slow down. I’m quick to put the kids in the car and head out and about, but the truth is, that I’m a happier mom (with more breast milk) with happier kids when we take the day slowly! Be kind to yourself This is probably my biggest tip for this post. Beautiful, you are totally capable and whilst balancing two seems impossible at times, you’ve got this!!! Trust your mommy instinct and speak kindly to yourself; as just as your kids adjust to the changes they’re experiencing, you too are journeying in your role as mom. <3

Mia Von Scha

Lighting Up the Dark Issue

Almost all children become afraid of the dark at some point – usually around the age of 2-6 years old. At that time their imaginations are running wild and they also become more aware of the greater world and the dangers that lurk within it. I always think about how much safer I feel with my husband sleeping next to me before I judge kids on being afraid of sleeping alone! There are two ways to handle this, based on your own preference… You can let your child sleep in your room. It may take some time to get her out again though – possibly years depending on personality – but I guarantee that you will not have a 16 year-old who is still sleeping in your room. The other option is to brainstorm with your child. It goes like this: Acknowledge her feelings and give her a chance to explore them deeper. Let her know that you understand it can be scary being in the dark. Speak less and listen more. Let her tell you just how afraid she is. Often, if the bad feelings are given a chance to be heard they go away on their own. Never, ever dismiss the feeling by telling her not to be scared. Let her know (briefly) how you feel – that you don’t sleep as well when she’s in your room, that you also need time with the other parent, that being woken up at night makes you tired and grumpy, etc. Brainstorm ways to sort out the problem. Write down ALL ideas without evaluating them at all. Let her start and give more answers than you. ALL ideas are accepted at this point (even if she says she wants to sleep in your room and you are not ok with that). Evaluate the things you’ve written down and come up with workable solutions. Let her start by rejecting one or two of your ideas first. If she has some ideas that are unacceptable to you (e.g. sleeping with all the lights in the house on) then let her know why it wouldn’t work (it would cost too much) and then see if you can modify the idea into a workable solution (e.g. Having automatic lights with sensors that turn on if she walks to the bathroom). There are many ideas that you can add to the list (but, again, let her come up with some ideas before you contribute)… Having a baby monitor so you can hear her if there’s an issue. Letting her snuggle with something of yours that smells like you (e.g. your dressing gown) Drawing a picture of the thing in the dark that is scaring her and burning it Getting a dream catcher or special teddy to protect her Having a monster hunt before bed Have a “dark survival” kit next to her bed (include a torch, magic wand, music box, etc.) But most important is to acknowledge her fear as real for her. She is not trying to be difficult. I would add to this by playing games in the dark (like making shadow puppets with a torch) or doing fun activities such as marshmallow braais so that she starts enjoying the dark. You can also read books about how other kids have overcome the dark. My favourite is “The Dark” by Lemony Snicket http://www.takealot.com/the-dark-lemony-snicket-and-jon-klassen/PLID35350525 And definitely avoid scary movies / books / etc. particularly before bed Sleep tight!

Parenting Hub

Creating a Calming Bedtime Environment for your Toddler


By Jolandi Becker – Good Night Consultant Busy toddlers can often eat less and sleep less because they are too busy and active.  They just don’t seem to have the time for it.  But they still require 11 – 12 hours of sleep at night and 1.5 – 3 hours of sleep during the day. A calming bedtime routine helps signal the brain that sleep is coming and helps with the production of melatonin (the hormone that makes us sleepy).  Think Spa-environment when thinking of your bedtime routine:  it should be winding down time and not winding up time. Here are a few tips to help your toddler to switch off after a busy day playing and moving: The bedtime routine is important time to spend one on one time with our toddlers.  Especially when we are working all day or when new baby has been added to the family.  This is a time that should be uninterrupted without cell phones, babies or life to distract.  Each parent should have some time during the bedtime routine to focus on their toddler.  Kids crave time with us and after long day the bedtime is a wonderful bonding time. A common mistake parents make once babies become toddlers is to move the bedtime later.  Up until the age of 5 years children still require 11 – 12 hours of sleep at night and more often than not tend to wake early in the morning.  It is thus important to keep aiming for 19h00 bed time.  Stalling tactics often happes when toddlers are overtired and over stimulated.  “I want something to eat”  “I want to say good night to the dogs.”  “I want to go pee.”  “I want something to drink.”  These are easily avoidable when rather aiming for earlier bedtime than a later one. A bath as part of the bedtime is a great starting point.  The warmth from the water helps with the production of Melatonin.  It is impossible to keep a toddler calm in a bath but if they do get too excited rather keep the bath shorter.  If they enjoy playing in water, water play should be an activity during playtime not bedtime. Add some Magnesium Bath Salts to the bath water.   Magnesium has proved benefits which include improved oxygen use and absorption of nutrients.  It also helps with inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps.  It helps to calm the toddler’s body and also assists with growing pains. Once you are done with bath include calming and breathing activities.  As you put cream on your toddler massage their body while they are lying down on the floor.  Indicate to them their different body parts while you massage talking slowly and calmly.  “Feel your head. Feel your neck. Feel your shoulders. Feel your belly.  Feel your legs. Feel your feet.”   Most toddlers love cuddle time and enjoy massages.  This is a great tool to make them focus and switch off. TV, cell phones, tablets and computer screens have what we call blue light.  Blue light inhibits the production of melatonin.  Thus 2 hours before bedtime try to avoid television. New studies also suggest that too early screen viewing has negative effects on language development, reading skills and short term memory.   With screen time is also not just about what they are doing/watching but also about what they are not doing.   For gross motor development it is important for kids to move around and play. Reading stories is a wonderful habit to include as part of the bedtime routine.  Of course there is endless benefits for this including increase in vocabulary, better understanding of words but  one of the main benefits is that it gives parents time to spend with their children doing something constructive. For toddlers it is a good idea to set boundaries with these kind of activities from the start.  Read only 2 stories (not 2 books, some books have more than one story).  Your toddler can choose the stories but keep a healthy boundary to avoid them wanting to read more and more.   Also have healthy expectations with their attention.  Most 18 month olds should not be expected to listen to an entire story, with them they will mostly want to hold book and turn pages themselves and mostly just look at pictures.  Once your toddler is closer to 3 years of age they should be able to listen to a short story. Keep all lights dim and off once they sleep.  Set the stage for sleep.  So only keep on a bedside lamp during the reading and massage part of your routine.  Once you put your little one in the cot make sure to put all lights off.  Darkness helps with the production of melatonin.  A night light should only be introduced if your little one asks for one insistently. More often than not parents also link toddlerhood with moving them to a big bed.  Avoid moving your toddler to a bid bed to soon.  The main reason is safety.  You do not want your two year old to be able to roam your house when you are sleeping.  A good time to move them is around 2 and half to 3 years of age. References https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Why-to-Avoid-TV-Before-Age-2.aspx https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/tv-violence-and-impact-on-children#1 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2016/11/09/how-to-bond-with-your-child-through-reading/

Parenting Hub

Avoiding the Morning Rush

Written By: Nigel Sloane (Headmaster at Pecanwood College: Preparatory) We have all experienced it before. As you are getting into the car to go to school, your six year child reminds you that she needs something for “show and tell” that begins with the letter “Y”. You are already late for school and now spend the next twenty minutes looking for a yo-yo or a toy Yak! The result of this sort of thing is a stressed and worried youngster arriving at school, who will not give of her best at school for the day. Not only that, but you as a parent are probably also stressed and up-tight knowing that you are going to be late for your eight thirty appointment. The secret is to do as much as you can the afternoon/evening before and look at the various aspects of a school day. To do this you need to have a school calendar, fixture list and make sure that you are up to date with school happenings. Reading the school newsletter and keeping up to date with the homework diary will give you a head start. As with all things, planning and preparation are the key. A well placed white board with all the week’s happenings is also a very good idea. Preparation is the key: Time needs to be spent every afternoon or evening listening to reading, helping with whatever homework that there is and generally ensuring that your child is up to date. Make sure that you have read the homework diary and that everything needed is in the bag for the next day. This includes stationary, library books and any items such as a toy for “show and tell”. Do all of this in conjunction with your child so that they can learn about planning and independence. Check the diary or fixture list and see if any sports clothing is required. In summer there may be days when swimming takes place and it is essential that the costume is in the bag. Throw in a towel and warm clothing if needed. If there are regular item such as hats or sunscreen, make sure that these are in the bag. Leave the bag in an easily accessible place near the front door. Once again, involve your child in the process. Get that lunch box and juice ready. Either have it in the fridge if there is something perishable, or actually put it in the school bag. Set out the clothes and shoes for the next day on a chair in the bedroom to ensure a speedy get up and go session in the morning. This will avoid the shock of discovering in the morning that all her socks are still in the washing machine. Other tips to avoid problems include making sure that all clothes, sporting items and all personal possessions are labeled. Hopefully this will cut down on items going missing and causing more stress in your preparation. Plan the breakfast and set it out if possible the night before. If you can encourage your child to get started on their breakfast without supervision, this in itself will save you precious time. With time, hopefully you will be able pass on many of these responsibilities to your child so as to create an independent and responsible youngster who can do things for themselves. As parents it is vital that we teach children how to look after themselves; however they do need to learn these processes. These are not skills that children will just acquire, but rather that they need to be taught.

Parenting Hub

Play is crucial for early child development

Only 29 percent of South African children have access to safe, child-appropriate play areas in their communities, this according UNICEF, but a local organisation – Play Africa is championing for this change countrywide. Gretchen Wilson-Prangley, CEO of Play Africa – a social enterprise organisation driving inclusive public learning for the country’s most vulnerable says play is “exceedingly important” for children of all ages and an integral part of early learning and healthy social development. “Neuroscience has confirmed that the first few years of a child’s life is crucial for early learning. And play forms part of early learning and is far more valuable than we realise,” she says. Wilson-Prangley says play sparks imagination, enhances creativity and problem solving capacities, promotes teamwork and helps to instil empathy and compassion for others. “I believe in the importance of helping to advance children’s basic rights and this includes the right to play,” she says. And since many South African children lack toys and other learning materials that can help stimulate a range of child-initiated, open-ended activities which bolster cognitive, physical, social and emotional development, Wilson-Prangley explains that her organisation seeks to promote one single message – there is no cost to play. Their workshops encourage parents and children to make use of everyday materials when playing. “We demonstrate just how to transform everyday items into play materials using the imagination. Few people know that you’re able to make a robot or a rocket ship using clean milk containers, or a car out of empty loo paper rolls. What’s important is the process and the imagination and creativity it stimulates,” she says. Further, she says play is a “good way to engage” and helps children make use of their imagination; she also describes it as “pleasurable and enjoyable”. “Playing overall gives children an opportunity to stretch their thinking and imagination, it also invites repeated active engagement which is highly beneficial for children of all ages,” Wilson-Prangley says.  

Parenting Hub

Why it’s important to monitor the climate in your baby’s room

With peak summer months peaking at early 30˚C or even early 40˚C in some places across the country, parents should constantly monitor their baby’s temperature to ensure their little ones are comfortable, even in the heat. In fact, t baby monitors aren’t just for sneak peeks – they can support your baby’s development too. It’s important to understand how climate can affect your baby’s health, what the ideal room climate is, and how your baby monitor can help. While a room that’s a little too warm or humid is no big deal for most of us, babies tend to be more sensitive to temperature and humidity. Too low humidity, for example, can cause the eyes and throat to dry out. And when it’s a little too cold or warm, babies aren’t yet able to regulate their body temperature the way an adult can. So what’s the ideal room climate? Think of the ideal room climate as a range rather than a specific temperature or humidity level. The healthiest room temperature for your little one is somewhere between 16-20˚, and humidity levels should ideally be kept between 40 – 60%. How your baby monitor can help If you’re wondering when all of this monitoring is going to happen in between feeding and comforting and the general business of being a parent, fear not. A smart baby monitor has your back: it continuously tracks the temperature and humidity of a room for you. By setting thresholds for temperature and humidity on the smart baby monitor, you receive notifications when the climate readings exceed these thresholds so you’ll always know whether the climate is healthy for your baby -or needs a little tweaking. Depending on the reading, you can then make adjustments to help keep your baby comfortable. Is the humidity a little on the high side? You might like to open a window to let in some fresh air. Worried about your little one overheating? Make sure your little one isn’t overdressed and consider using an air conditioner to bring the room to a more comfortable temperature. You can then also understand how your baby’s room climate affects their sleep as you’ll be able to see at a glance what kind of room temperature helps your baby sleep best. So you see, your baby monitor really isn’t just for sneak peeks. It’s a simple way to help your baby feel comfortable day and night. So make sure you choose the right baby monitor for you and your little one! Philips Mother and Child Division

Parenting Hub

Oops Stacking Block Sets

The Oops Stacking Black Sets, promote creativity, imagination and learning in your child with the latest range of Oops Stacking Block Sets. Available in gorgeous and entertaining themed ranges such as the Forest and the City, these collections of easy-grip blocks provide your little one with all the tools needed to satisfy curiosity, whilst having the most possible fun learning new skills. From counting to learning the alphabet, to more advanced tasks like telling the time, Oops have a range of stacking blocks suited to your child’s learning age and development.  As fore-runners in child developmental toys, Oops is one of Europe’s leading brands and offers only the best quality products at affordable prices. Some of our personal favourite stacking sets include: 0 – Clock! Telling the Time.  30 Piece Set Forest ABC! – Learn The Alphabet With Me. 30 Piece Set City 123! – Learn To Count With Me.  30 Piece Set Guaranteed for hours of fun and all available now at Hamleys (Eastgate, Menlyn, Sandton, Mall of Africa, V&A Waterfront, Greenstone), selected Kids Emporium stores, Me, Mom and Dad (Greenstone), www.takealot.co.za, www.loot.co.za, www.thebabyzone.co.za, www.purplepepperz.com

Toptots Head Office

How drawing develops in a toddler

There are very definite developmental stages in drawing. Every child is different, however when it comes to their art there is a very clear developmental line that can be seen. Keep samples of your child’s artwork at the different stages. Often at our workshops the scribbles done by toddlers are left behind and not seen to have any value. Before your child can draw anything you will recognise that he has to be exposed to different items to draw and paint with. Experience is key to development. Did you know that one of the recognised “tests” that they ask a pre-schooler to do, is to draw a stick figure? Scribbling is typical of a 1.5 year old. This is not about the result but about the process and enjoyment. The more they scribble, the more fun they have and the more they learn to control the medium they are using. This scribbling is more a kinaesthetic activity.  You will notice that after 6 months of scribbling the marks start to become more orderly. Scribbling helps develop hand eye coordination, fine and gross muscle development and hand manipulation. Drawing circular shapes is typical of a 2 – 3 year old. They will spend many a happy time making circles. Once circles have started emerging you will find the very typical stick figure drawing of a 3+ year old. The big head, legs and arms that come from there. As they develop, more of a body image starts to appear, the body, the legs etc. At this stage they start to think about what they are actually drawing and are learning to problem solve. Enjoy these first drawings of your child’s and appreciate them for what they are – just stages in your child’s development. Remember that drawing plays a very important role in your child’s emotional, cognitive and physical development. With drawing he will learn to express his emotions and build up his self-esteem. Provide your child with a variety of mediums to draw with. Don’t tell him what to draw, rather let him explore and experiment and do it on his own. Praise his work and hang it up in your home – this will encourage him to create even more beautiful works of art for you. Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

Helen Hansen

The importance of play

The intelligence of play occurs way beyond the naked eye. The world of ‘pretend’ is a necessary means of intellectual and emotional development for young children who are absorbing new experiences all the time. This safe space provides the opportunity to explore emotions and situations that are relevant for the child at a particular time. Different stages of childhood mean different types of play.  Creativity and curiosity are the basis of play, no matter what the age. For example, babies and toddlers explore and express their curiosity through body movement. This prepares the brain for the next development phase. While younger children generally play for no reason other than pleasure, older children enjoy working towards a specific outcome. Joseph Chilton Pearce states in his book ‘Evolution’s End’, “Play develops intelligence, integrates our triune nature; prepares us for higher education, creative thought and helps us prepare for becoming an effective parent when that time comes”. If you are tempted to cut your child’s playtime, remember that oxytocin, a hormone and brain chemical described as the “love molecule”, is released through play. In effect, playing, is like having a boost of goodness injected into your body improving mood and the immune system. Children learn first and foremost how to play from parents and siblings.  Added to this is free-play where the child plays alone, making his/her own decision about what to do.  Social and solo play is an essential ingredient for the daily life of children of all ages. Author: Helen Hansen is a kinesiologist with extensive experience in early childhood development and developmental psychology.  You can read more about play in Helen’s recently released book, ‘150 inspiring educational activities for 2 to 7 year olds’.   Helen offers therapy sessions for children and adults to balance imbalances in the body, mind and emotions.  You can contact Helen: helen@helenhansen.co.za https://www.amazon.com/Inspiring-Educational-Activities-year-olds/dp/1504370996 Sharing our content with parents you know will go a long way to making us smile for the day 

Advtech Group

Help your Child Play (right) to lay the Foundation for Future Academic Success

Giving their children a head start is something parents want to do. Unfortunately, the way this is done in our hyper-competitive, over structured world may in fact be working against exactly these intentions.  More and more research is showing that the most critical activity for the development of little children’s brains and their social and cognitive skills, before they go to school, is good old-fashioned play.  Far less is gained when little children have full schedules of structured activities, from basic maths classes to early reading, gymnastics, kiddy music and mini-soccer. “When it comes to brain development, time spent in the classroom and at other structured activities is less important than time on the playground,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. She says that research by Sergio Pellis, from the University of Lethbridge in Canada, showed that the experience of play changed the connections of the neurons in the pre-frontal section of a child’s brain, and that without play experience, those neurons remained unchanged. “Pellis found that it was those changes in the prefrontal cortex during childhood that helped wire up the brain’s executive control centre, which has a critical role in regulating emotions, making plans and solving problems. In other words, play prepares a young brain for life, love and even schoolwork,” Eaton says. But she warns parents whose children’s rooms look like toyshops that they need to get things back to basics, because the kind of play that is beneficial is primarily the kind of play that requires creativity, imagination and problem-solving. “In the pre-school phase children need basic toys, not those with roles defined by the media, as the latter limits imagination and the opportunities to plan and create. Provide the child with a good set of plain wooden bricks, a few non-battery-operated cars, a soft doll or two, a teddy, some plastic plates and cups and a big ball. “Old blankets or sheets for making houses and tents, and some boxes and crates will provide the basics for endless creative and imaginative play. Playdough, some crayons and big sheets of paper – not colouring books – as well as some paint will amply provide for creativity,” says Eaton. She says that parents need to appreciate that in allowing their children plenty of opportunities to play, with others and alone, they are laying the foundations for academic success. “Young children work hard at play, and it is not for nothing that play is considered a child’s work. They invent scenes and stories, solve problems and negotiate their way through social roadblocks. They know what they want to do and they work and plan to do it. “We as adults must not be too quick to interfere in this process, but allow them to work things out for themselves.” Parents who want to ensure their children are exposed to the right kind of free play (which ironically is also the least expensive kind) should ensure that they provide, from an early age, access to materials that will stimulate their sensory systems. These include water, sand, things that make a noise, books with pictures they can relate to and toys of different textures. “The contents of your saucepan and plastics cupboard will give hours of creative play while teaching concepts of matching, size, shape, texture and sound. Things that bounce, roll and change shape when pressed or pulled help develop spatial skills and visual acuity,” says Eaton. “Children must be free to move around once they are mobile, obviously with safety in mind, but do not fear the odd mouthful of grass or your child being dirty. Allow them to dig in the garden, pick flowers and when they are older, make mud cakes and grass ‘soup’ for their fantasy games.” The Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky found that children are able to rise above their average behaviour through play, notes Eaton. “It is through fantasy play that children make sense of their world. They must pretend and take on roles in order to understand. The more time children spend in dramatic play, the more they advance in terms of intellectual development and their ability to concentrate. “As a parent, it is best to curb the growing fashionable trend of extra murals for little children and allow uninterrupted time and space for fantasy play.  Choose a pre-school that believes passionately in play based learning. This allows children to work through emotions such as anger, fear and jealousy, to become more self-disciplined, and to develop resilience. All these skills are essential to the development of individuals who can in future master academic challenges and live comfortably in their society.”

Parenting Hub

Deciding whether to keep a child back at school

Imagine that you are observing from the side of a swimming pool and are watching children learn how to swim. As you watch, you notice the different variety of abilities, confidence levels and fears that they display in the water.  Some children seem to grasp these new skills with ease while others seem to struggle and need a bit of extra assistance and encouragement along the way.  With a swimming gala looming ahead, the decision has to be made as to who is competent enough to compete at the next level, and who may need extra practice in mastering the skills that are needed. “In a scenario such as this one, it is without a doubt that any child who has not sufficiently mastered the skills at this level will become more fearful, less confident and progress slower if they were forced on to a more challenging level. They may even risk drowning in the process!” says Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres. She adds that while learning to swim is not quite the same as learning to read, write and progress academically, the principal of learning any new skill is the same. “It is best to achieve sufficient mastery of each level of study before progressing to more challenging levels of learning.” Sadly, for generations, the need to repeat a school grade has been classified as a failure, leaving scores of parents and learners struggling to embrace the idea of repeating a grade to better master the necessary skills needed for the next level! “Yet, forcing a child, who is not ready, into the next grade could have a significantly negative impact on the child’s self- esteem and, worse, it could slow the learning process or even stop it altogether as the child’s struggles worsen with the pressures of the new grade!” Cindy explains. Cindy gives the following advice to parents facing the decision of whether to allow their child to repeat a grade or not: Repeating a grade is NOT a failure. It is an opportunity for a struggling learner to better master the skills he needs! If you speak of failure, your child will feel like he has, indeed, failed! Your approach to a child repeating the grade will determine your child’s reaction toward it! Discuss all available options with your child’s teachers before making a final decision. Have an open mind – remember that this is about what is best for your child.  Discuss any concerns that you may have openly and honestly. Consider your child’s level of competency in the current grade.  If your child is struggling significantly, he is most likely going to struggle even more so in the next grade. Consider your child’s age and physical development. Remember, always, that YOU need to decide what is BEST for your child.  A child who is significantly taller or older than his upcoming classmates may feel too embarrassed for a repeat to be of any help! Make a list of all the pros and cons of your child repeating the grade or going on. Ask yourself:  What is best for my child?  What are the long-term benefits or harms? What would happen if I do/do not allow the repeat? “There is no denying that the decision to repeat a struggling learner is an emotionally tough one to make.  Take your time and do what you feel is best for your child. Remember, how you react to the situation will set the tone for how your child responds to it!” Cindy concludes.

Parenting Hub

Prima Baby welcomes Disney Baby

We at Prima Baby are honoured to announce that we are now the sole distributor of select products in the Disney Baby franchise. Home to some of the world’s most beloved characters like Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Winnie the Pooh and the fellow stars of the Hundred Acre Wood and many more, the Disney label has filled children’s hearts with joy for many, many years and been always top of its game in terms of quality, yet affordable merchandising. In fact, many mothers themselves grew up in the company of the characters and now they can pass that tradition along to their little ones. The ‘Baby’ component to the Disney label brings all the most beloved characters to life in their smaller, younger selves.  Adorable baby versions make these familiar friends even cuter than ever before. With products to appeal to every single aspect of your baby’s life – from feeding and nurturing to soothing and learning, Disney Baby is available in a variety of colours, from traditional, to pink and blue. All stock is available at selected major retailers and online stores.

Toptots Head Office

Why is a baby’s sense of touch so important?

The tactile system (or sense of touch) is one of the earliest to develop, and is also the largest sensory system. It comprises various receptors which allow us to feel light touch, deep pressure, texture, pain, and temperature. Its main function early in life is a protective one – allowing infants to feel pain or discomfort, for example, a wet nappy. It also guides them in feeding, as they use their sense of touch to locate the nipple for milk. The ability to process touch sensation within the mouth aids with sucking and later, with chewing and swallowing solid food. Since our tactile system develops so early on, before the visual and auditory systems are well-developed, touch is the way in which babies initially make sense of the world around them. This starts with putting everything in their mouths in order to understand the properties of the objects e.g. size, shape and texture. Later on their hands begin to process tactile input in a more mature manner and from this they start to develop gross and fine motor skills. The relationship between touch and bonding and emotional development in early life is also a significant one. It is essential for an infant to have physical closeness with his mother or caregiver so that he learns to form a primary attachment. Bonding also gives an infant his first feelings of himself as a physical body, and later allows him to develop his body scheme (awareness of his physical boundaries). This “boundary” that the skin provides, helps him to feel secure in the world around him. Stages of development: The tactile system starts to develop in the uterus and functions well from birth. 1 month: Touch sensations are important as a source of emotional satisfaction, for feeding and for reflexes e.g. when you touch your baby’s cheek he will respond by turning his head. 3 months: Starting to reach for objects and holding on as part of the automatic grasp reflex and as a reaction to the sensation of touch in the palm of his hand. 4 – 6 months: Starting to touch and look at hands and starting to use the thumb and fore-finger. [Concerns should be raised if your child is not yet grasping items, touching his hands and bringing toys together with his two hands]. 6 months – 2 years: Starting to develop more accuracy in reaching and grasping by using the hands and eyes together. 2 years: Improved ability to tell where touch occurred on the body and thus direct responses more voluntarily. [Concerns should be raised if your child is fumbling, dropping items regularly, and having difficulty playing with toys and learning new skills.] 3 – 7 years: Starting to use simple tools like paper, crayons, scissors, zips and buckles and developing accuracy and control with them. [Concerns should be raised if your child is battling with learning skills like doing buttons and zips, tying shoelaces, using eating utensils.

Parenting Hub

HOW CAN PARENTS FACILITATE BABY’S MOVEMENT AND GROWTH?

The first year of life is a time when babies strengthen their muscles and bones. They learn how to use their bodies to move around and to manipulate their environment. If babies are constantly held and carried during the first year, they will lose valuable opportunities to gain fine-tune skills. Parents and caregivers should facilitate movement and growth by giving babies safe environments to play in and allow their little ones to explore these areas on their own. Lesego Mashishi-Matlala, Huggies® expert in occupational therapy sheds some light on assistive devices for baby’s motor development. Each stage of motor development offers a new dimension of exploration and propels baby to the next stage of motor development. The natural progression of gross motor developmental phase is neck control, rolling, sitting, standing with support, standing without support and from 12 to 18 months, walking independently. What can parents do to facilitate this development? It is important to ensure that your little ones’ environment offers stimulation of all senses and encourages exploration. You may ask, is it then a bad thing to introduce toy mobility aids or assistive devices such as a supported baby chair to help baby achieve their developmental phase of walking? The answer would be, that it is important to strike a balance and to introduce these devices at the correct time. It is important for parents to allow babies to naturally lead their way through their motor developmental phases. In so doing, you are allowing brain development, language development, and baby’s spatial awareness to develop naturally. This helps baby to learn how to interact with their environment to get their desired outcome through movement. A lot of brain development and information processing occurs between the development phase of sitting and walking. This is when baby starts to learn to crawl and pull themselves up into a standing position. During this transition, there are more benefits in allowing baby to master their movements on their own rather than introducing assistive devices or toys. First, you need to allow baby to develop adequate upper body control, and to achieve some controlled body movements. Do not deprive your baby of opportunities for self-initiated or self-produced mobility. Assistive devices such as sitting aids and walkers should be introduced once baby has shown the initiative and attempted to get into the desired motor position. This ensures that the baby has processed information and is working out bilateral symmetry, crossing of the midline and is mastering controlled purposeful movements, which will ultimately be followed by the alternating coordinated movements that are needed for walking and running. What is imperative during this stage is to ensure babies level of comfort. A comfortable baby is a moving baby. By giving your little ones, the support and confidence needed to develop and explore the world around them you are allowing their movement to naturally progress and develop.

Parenting Hub

Prima Toys Baby Introduces Little Tikes Baby

“Developmental Toys” is the latest buzz-word in terms of parenting – and for good reason. Prima Baby is proud to announce a brand new range of baby toys – Little Tikes, who is making products for the littlest ones in your household with the newest range, Little Tikes Baby. We know moms are hyper-focused on their child’s development from week to week, but we also know that it can be incredibly difficult to find toys that can actually aid in developmental play. Each “Designed to Develop” product helps baby achieve a primary developmental milestone.  Little Tikes Baby has partnered closely with child development experts to ensure each product delivers on its promise. There are three different segments within the line — soothe, stimulate, and strengthen — each honing in on what is most important to moms and babies in the first six months: The ‘soothe’ segment features products designed to help calm and nurture baby. The ‘stimulate’ segment highlights items designed to awaken baby’s senses through sight, touch, and sound. The ‘strengthen’ segment is all about products designed to build baby’s strength during tummy time. Nothing can replace quality playtime with your baby.  We’re proud that Little Tikes Baby products can be a helpful part of those special moments! All products are available at Hamleys Baby Divisions (Eastgate, Sandton, Menlyn, Mall Of Africa, V&A Waterfront and Greenstone.), Selected Kids Emporium stores, www.takealot.com, www.loot.co.za, www.netbaby.co.za, www.simplicity.co.za, www.thebabyzone.co.za, www.netbaby.co.za 

Kaboutjie

Self Confidence Activities For Children

Ensuring that your child has good self confidence is very important. For your kid to do well in life, it is critical that he/she believes in himself/herself from an early age. You do not want your kid to feel inferior or inclined to worry too much about his/her inabilities rather than abilities. You need your child to acquire selfconfidence so as to be able to face what life brings along with courage and pluck. If your child seems to be unsure of himself/herself, or looks as if he/she feels inferior to others, you need to take action immediately. There are practical ways how you can help him/her avoid this predisposition. Most likely your child has a particular trait which will help him/her to excel or do well at something. For instance, if he/she is very creative, it may be a good idea to enroll him/her for art classes. If he/she has a lot of energy, encourage to choose a sports discipline and take him/her to classes for such sport. Extracurricular activities can go a long way in helping kids acquire self confidence as they will feel that they have a forte in that area. So focus on finding their hidden talent/s and you will surely notice a significant boost in their self confidence. To improve your child’s self-confidence it is also a good idea to encourage him/her to talk and interact with others, including kids with his/her interests. Being a part of a team or group greatly helps in developing a sense of belonging in kids, and it improves self confidence as a result. Encourage your kids to make choices, rather than making all of their decisions for them. It is also highly recommended to have them help around the house from an early age as this will help them to feel useful, while enabling them to acquire more competence and realizing that their help can make a difference. You could also go on a hike or camping experience with your child. During such an outing you should encourage him/her to pack his/her bag, set up the camp, and help out in various ways so as to make the trip or activity successful. It is also a good idea to have your kid help in organizing events such as a party, or if it is safe, ask him/her to go for an errand for you, such as shopping at a nearby shop. Obviously these will depend on the child’s age. The key is to have the child feel competent and able. Last but not least – do not be overprotective as this could impede their acquiring a good level of self confidence and self esteem. Allow your child to take risks, as long as it is healthy and safe.

Kaboutjie

5 Parenting Tips For Children With Autism

When autism is diagnosed early the long term outcome is almost always better since you can start behavioral therapy early on. Being a parent is a demanding task that requires a lot of effort. If you have a special needs child then you will find parenting even more challenging. No parent is prepared when they find out that their child has autism and it may seem completely overwhelming, however there are some steps that you can take that will help you to cope easier and help you to assist your child better. Here are some simple parenting tips for children with autism: 1 Structure, Routine & Safety All children need structure, routine and safety but children with autism need it even more so. An autistic child will struggle to apply things learnt in one setting to another, so it will be important to find out what your child is learning at school and in therapy so that you can also apply those things at home. Consistency also needs to be applied to the way you deal with your child’s challenging behavior and interact with your child. Try and keep your daily routine the same as far as possible, so therapy times, meal times, play time and bedtime should be the same as far as possible. There will be times that you will need to break your schedule, so when this happens let your child know in plenty of time and help your child prepare for the change. While it may seem easier to keep your child at home due to unpredictable behavior it is important for your child to learn how to deal with the outside world too. Choose some regular errands that you do with your child such as grocery shopping so that your child can get accustomed to doing it on a regular basis. This should be included in your schedule and over time it will get easier and you child will become better adjusted. It is a great idea to set up a safe zone for your child in your home. This space should be a quiet area where your child can be comfortable, relax and feel safe. You can mark this space out clearly for your child. Keep in mind that your child has sensory sensitivities. This means that your child is super sensitive to sound, light, touch, smells and movements. Take this into account when you create this safe zone. This is going to be the place for your child to get away from it all and be safe. 2 Put Emphasis On Play Play is important for all children, as well as children with autism. In fact it may be even more important since your child will be doing a lot of therapeutic activities. Try and keep play as fun as possible, focusing on things that will bring your child out of his or her shell. Keep in mind that verbal skills is not your child’s forte so try and get some non-verbal activities that you can do together too so that your child can relax and not feel too much pressure. Remember to keep play fun rather than therapeutic. Make sure that you put loads of play time on your schedule and try to make it at a time that your child is most alert. 3 Positive Parenting Positive parenting is important for all children, but even more with special needs children. It is important to be patient and accept your child at whatever stage he or she is at. Focusing on the positive behaviors in your child with praise and rewards will go a long way. Be very specific when you praise your child so he or she knows exactly what it is that has been achieved. Find ways to reward your child for positive behavior that will reinforce your praise. Your child will regularly have tantrums and difficulty controlling his or her negative behaviors. Try to be patient and not to let this affect you, rather keep focused on figuring out what the trigger is for this behavior. Your autistic child will have more difficulty communicating and this can be a huge source of frustration for your child. Try and learn your child’s non-verbal cues. 4 Figure Out What Works There is no one thing that will work for all autistic children. Your child will have his or her own unique triggers and ways of communication. Since your autistic child will struggle with verbal communication you will need to pay special attention to your child’s non-verbal communication. Learning about autism and specifically about your own child is key here. You will need to try out different things to find out what really works for you and your child. Trust your instincts and try to be patient with yourself and your child. There are so many different types of approaches to treating autism so if you try one type of therapy and it doesn’t work don’t let if get you down. Keep trying until you find the unique plan that works best in your unique circumstances. 5 Get Support Looking after yourself is essential so that you are emotionally, physically and spiritually strong enough to look after your child. While you may feel that taking some time off from your child is selfish and that it is your responsibility you do need the time off to look after yourself. Get a family member to look after your child regularly or a carer so you can rest a bit. Joining a support group for ASD will help you immensely since you will be able to meet other families that are dealing with the same things you are. You will be able to get advice from other people that are facing the same challenges as well as get emotional support when things get tough. Dealing with a special needs child can take its toll on you emotionally, so you (or your parter) may suffer from depression, stress or anxiety. Consider getting counseling for yourself,

Parenting Hub

Why is early childhood education so important?

By… Chantelle Anderson – Head Directress and Owner at Montessori Nosipho pre-school As an early childhood educator I often come across concerned parents who ask the question, when is the right time for my child to start school? There are many things to consider when answering this very important question. Maria Montessori believed that children pass through different stages throughout their development when they have a sensitivity to learn a specific skill, hence she came up with the term ‘sensitive periods’. Children are in their sensitive period for many things between birth and 6 years of age so it is important to make sure that when they enter into each stage that their needs are met and they are stimulated correctly and sufficiently in order for them to develop in all the ways necessary, cognitively, intellectually, socially, emotional and physically. Different sensitive periods include, sensitive period for order, language, movement, refinement of senses, grace and courtesy, numbers, just to name but a few. A child’s sensitive period for language is between birth and 6 years, actually believe it or not from 7 months in utero to 6 years old. The prenatal influence on language is important as this will allow a child to start making sounds and speaking small simple words at the age of 7-8 months to being able to communicate with 3-4 words sentences by 3 years of age. In saying this, this is an important part of a child’s life, as they need to be able to use words or language in order to communicate, a vital part in our everyday lives. I have heard concerns from many parents that because their child isn’t of speaking age, it is atomically assumed that they cannot attend school because they cannot communicate. This is not the case at all as children will only learn faster and be more advanced being around children of their similar age and having the stimulating environments influence on them, especially in a Montessori environment were children are encouraged to develop through many different ways and experiences, so why can’t they be at school? Why can’t they listen to their older siblings or school peers speak and teaching them how to do so in turn? Children will often copy a child of similar age better than that of a much older sibling or parent so school would give them the best opportunity for this. Another important sensitive period that cannot be missed and certainly won’t be tented to being at home stuck in front of the T.V or not having an adequate environment to help them through this stage or to help the child develop is the sensitive period for movement. A child may learn to crawl, walk and run in their home environment but in the unfortunate event that a child lives in a home environment where they don’t have a garden or play area how will a child learn other necessary skills or how will they meet their sensitive period for movement (birth to 4 years). An early childhood setting will help them by meeting their needs by providing the child with playground equipment that the child can learn to manipulate, and activities that encourage a lot of movement, for example something simple like fetching their snack from their bag, or walking to the bathroom to wash their hands, or tucking in their chair after working at a table, or simply packing away a book they have read, an activity they have done or even toys they have played with. In turn doing all these very simple activities will not only meet their need for movement but will also help develop the child in other ways, fine and gross motor skills, independence, concentration and so on. They are all so closely linked and without the completion of once stage of development another cannot start. My favourite sensitive period that I love watching children work through and explore is their sensitive period for refinement of senses. A child is fascinated with their sensorial experiences such as weight, smell, touch, taste, and sounds, enabling them to make sensory discriminations. A Montessori environment provides the early child with the ability to explore all of these with specifically designed apparatus, such as taste bottles, the sound bottles, the Montessori bells, the baric tablets and touch tablets etc. In a home environment a child will no doubt be exposed to some of these, for example smelling what mom is cooking for the children, walking around the house feeling the different surfaces they walk on, listening to the different sounds they hear, car driving past, a bird, the wind etc, but why should a child be limited to these experiences only when they can have so much more at their fingertips while they are at school. As an example in our Montessori classroom, we provide the children with a nature table, giving them the chance to not only explore the outdoors while looking for something to put on it, but to touch and feel different weights and roughness of items, or feeding the fish in the fish tank, and often with a surprised look on their face when they find out the texture of the fish food, or when their fingers accidentally touch the water and they realise its warmer than they thought. At art time getting the feeling of paint on their hands, or gluey fingers, of the surprising sounds when they cut different textured paper or draw with different crayons, chalk, pencils and charcoal, or the noise of tearing tissue paper, the list is endless. It is so vitally important that a child is given the opportunity to develop with the correct environment around them, think back to your childhood, some of my best memories are with the group of friends I met at my pre-school and how we endured this new thing of ‘going to school’ together but had so much fun in doing so, working through our different stages of our childhood and growing together rather

Raising Kids Positively

QUALITIES IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

Searching for some easy ways to help your kids feel good about themselves? A practical way to build their self-esteem is to focus on just four qualities. Belonging is about meaningful connections with others. Kids, who feel they belong, feel safer, self-assured and better at managing challenges. This is why when friends exclude them it really hurts.  By helping them to adjust to new environments; encouraging healthy friendships and building family values, you boost their sense of belonging. Tips Set up play dates and activities where they can learn to cooperate Encourage team sports/group activities In new places and situations help them feel that they belong Do fun things together as a family Mastery  is the ability to achieve a skill / feel competent at something.  Kids love to be noticed whenever they get something right without your help. This is why your four-year-old melts down when you take over for them. Babies don’t give up on walking after falling down once or twice.  As parents we need to step back a little, motivating them to keep trying, while encouraging them to achieve things by themselves. Tips Be encouraging when they are trying/showing you a new skill Avoid taking over when they’re struggling (rather encourage finding other ways ) Always comment on their efforts Independence is about being your own person – making decisions, problem solving and taking responsibility.  When kids are given chances to manage themselves and become inwardly directed, their confidence soars.   Remember over time, school and sport demands increase and kids are expected to manage without your help, relying on their own inner qualities and resources. Tips Do less for them, and more with them (i.e. stand by while supporting with words) Don’t always give solutions – rather encourage them to think Offer choices – it builds independence Encourage decision-making-  without telling them what you would do Involve them in simple household chores from an early age  – it builds independence, responsibility and self-discipline. If you’re in doubt as to whether they can do something without your help, give it a try.  Use words to guide them, while standing by and commenting on how well they’re tackling the task. Although they may want you to help, if you keep encouraging and only help with words, they’ll soon believe in themselves too. Generosity is about giving to others without expecting anything back. In helping others, kids feel good about themselves.   Where children have plenty of opportunities and positive encouragement to be generous, they naturally become more helpful and caring, and compassionate towards others.  Remember they’re learning by seeing what you do. With a little bit of effort, any selfish habits can be unlearned, and our kids can become far more helpful, kind and generous than we can imagine.  Lead the way and let them follow. Tips  Be caring – share hugs and smiles Encourage gift making, giving and donating used clothes/toys Create a “gratitude jar” – let them write down what they feel most grateful for daily and put it in the jar The wonderful parenting joy about strengthening these qualities (adapted from the Circle of Courage Model) is that it with a little bit of focus and effort we can build lifelong self-esteem in our children. Written by Carol Surya, author of ParentMagic – raising kids positively.

Parenting Hub

 Foppapedretti Piuleggero

Foppapedretti came about from the passion for wood of its founder, Ezio Foppa Pedretti. It all began in 1945, in the home in Telgate (in Bergamo) where young Ezio devoted his spare time to making wooden toys out of the leftovers from his uncle Pierino’s umbrella handle factory. In the 1950s he began making the first products for babies, products that launched the company and became its visiting card for decades to come. Wood remains the most important material used by Foppapedretti, but seeing as the company is always on the lookout for new ideas to satisfy the needs of the ever-changing market; in 2004 they embarked upon an adventure in the world of pushchairs. Foppapedretti wanted to apply its company philosophy to this industry as well, and the results are clear to see: products must be highly functional, practical and safe, but also innovative to always stay at least one step ahead. And so, after about four years of experimentation, the only stroller with electrical motor on the market today was introduced in 2011 (production began in March 2012): MyoTronic, a product the President and CEO, Luciano Bonetti, invested a great deal of personal energy in. In 2011, MyoTronic won the prestigious international Red Dot Design Award. The super-lightweight and sturdy stroller Piùleggero by Foppapedretti weighs only 3, 6 kg. opened, closed and pushed with just one hand. used from birth (usable up to 3 years, maximum weight 15 kg) Adjustable footrest and extendable and removable canopy, With UPF50+ protection: this fabric shields from the sun’s ultraviolet rays with 98% protection. An aluminium stroller which weighs only 3,6 kg (without accessories) and closes easily, Standing up on its own and occupying a little space. a multi-position reclining backrest, 5-point safety belt with chest protectors, protective armrest which can be opened Spacious storage basket. Safety Strollers are designed and made in compliance with safety regulations to ensure that: The dimensions are such that no part of the body will get stuck. The structure has undergone static and dynamic load tests to ensure the stability of the blocking devices. The opening and closing mechanisms have been designed so that the stroller cannot accidentally fold up. The product is entirely stable and, under normal conditions of use, will not tip over. It has undergone mechanical resistance and stability tests to ensure that it can withstand normal daily use without breaking or warping. Tests have been done on the braking and parking mechanisms, the grip of the handles and rough terrain travel. It has no small parts that can be ingested. The materials and paints used are non-toxic and free from any ingredient that may be hazardous to human health. The instructions manual provides all the information and safety warnings you need to use the product correctly. We suggest: That you carefully read the warnings found in the instruction manual. Any product, even when constructed in compliance with European law, may be dangerous if used improperly. Do not use a damaged product nor one that has been used before as there may be invisible damage (deteriorated materials due to age or improper storage) or it may not be compliant with current law. When buying a childcare product, take note of the age for which the item was designed. When you buy a product, especially a childcare product, make sure that either the wrapping or the product itself has a reference to an EC law: this guarantees that the product is in compliance with the general product safety laws. Retail price is R 5 299.00 Available at the following retailers: Hamleys, (Sandton , Eastgate , Menlyn & Mall of Africa) www.takealot.com www.loot.com www.simplicity.co.za www.thebabyzone.co.za

Good Night Baby

MYTH BUSTERS BABY SLEEP EDITION

Keeping your baby up longer at night/between naps will encourage her to fall asleep faster and sleep better. This is definitely a myth. Keeping your baby up longer at night/between naps will result in an overtired child. An overtired child will be fussy, cranky, have trouble feeding and take much longer to settle into sleep. They will also be more likely to wake during the night and earlier in the mornings, and will only have very short naps the following day. Your baby will sleep through the night when she is three months of age. It is possible, if you have set the foundations for healthy sleep skills early and your child is developing good self-soothing strategies. In this instance, you can usually expect babies to start sleeping through the night between three and six months of age (providing they are healthy and developing well). However children that still rely on “props” to fall asleep, such as feeding/rocking/patting, etc. will more than likely continue to wake through the night. This is because they have never learned the ability to put themselves to sleep so they are unable to consolidate sleep cycles through the night. They will often rouse after a sleep cycle and instead of using their own skills to return quickly to sleep they will cry out for their “prop” before they are able to go back to sleep. Letting your baby fall asleep while being held is a bad thing; you should never wake a sleeping baby. It is very difficult to always put your baby in their cot/bassinet while awake and allow them to use their own skills to fall asleep when they are newborns, as they need to sleep often. Parents will sometimes be out and about and need to put their baby to sleep in the pram/car or carrier. However it is important to be respectful of your child’s sleep needs and whenever possible give them the opportunity to attempt to fall asleep in their cot/bassinet. This is the place where they are going to get the best quality sleep. Remember how challenging and disturbed your own sleep is if you have to sleep in the car, or even when staying in a hotel room as opposed to your own bed at home. If you always let your baby fall asleep in your arms they are never going to develop their own self-soothing skills. Just remember that as your child grows, they get heavier and while you may find it easy to rock a newborn to sleep in your arms it will not be as easy to do this with your one, two or even three year old. It is never enjoyable to have to wake a sleeping baby, and the only reason I would suggest doing this would be to preserve a bedtime. As children get older their sleep needs change and sometimes too much daytime sleep (for an older baby or child) can have a negative effect on bedtime and sleeping through the night. However the opposite is also true and over-tiredness will also negatively impact night time sleep so it’s best to err on the side of more sleep as opposed to less. Daytime naps aren’t always needed. Most children will usually drop their daytime nap around three or four years of age (providing they are getting their 11-12hrs of night time sleep). However, it is possible that children as young as 2 ½ years of age drop their daytime naps. Before this age, a daytime nap or naps are very important to prevent over-tiredness and recharge their little bodies for the remainder of the day. Filling your baby up by putting infant cereal in her bottle will help her sleep. This is a myth. For very young babies, the length of time for which they are able to sleep is largely determined by how quickly their little bellies empty after a feed. However, as your baby reaches the three to six  month age, it is healthy sleep habits and good self-soothing skills (that can be introduced gently from birth) that will help your baby sleep for longer periods. It is always very important to ensure your baby is well fed and developing properly, but the addition of good nutrition throughout the entire day is more important than adding infant cereal to their bedtime bottle.

Skidz

Letting Go of the Guilt and Enjoying Our Kids

As parents, but especially mothers we tend to be so hard on ourselves. We easily compare ourselves to others and find fault with what we do. This causes so much guilt. We judge ourselves harshly if we are working moms for not spending more time with our kids, or if we stay at home we do the same for not doing enough, not playing enough or for just being too tired. We spend hours on Pinterest looking for ideas of age appropriate educational activities to do with our kids, which we just don’t get to doing because preparing the activities takes too much time and effort. By the end of the day we are exhausted and still feel that we have not done enough. As mom’s we need to relax and deal with ourselves with some grace. That mom you saw yesterday who always looks like she has it all figured out, also has her struggles and breakdowns, today you just didn’t see it. What do our kids really need? They need us to be present when they are with us. Pack away your phone, switch off from work and chores and just spend some FUN time with them. It doesn’t have to be for long, but they need to have your undivided attention. They need to play and laugh, and you do too. Children build relationships differently to adults. Children learn to love, trust and learn through play. So if you want a strong trusting relationship with your child, play with them, listen to them. If you want your child to be successful, to love acquiring new knowledge and to enjoy learning (and later to enjoy school), they need to learn through play. That is the way they learn. That is the way that their brains are wired to learn. I know most of us are busy and don’t know where to start, especially when our kids are still very young, and can’t talk or take initiative yet. And although a baby is super cute and her smile melts your heart, the question remains, how do we play with them, so that they learn and build all those little neuro pathways in their brain that they need later on in life? Those little pathways only develop in the first few years of your life and then they are all you have to use for the rest of your life. The answer is seems simple, we need to do purposeful play, but where do we even start when our lives are so busy? That is why Skidz has developed an awesome product which takes the work out of it for you as the parent and gives you all the info and equipment needed to enjoy the time that you have with your child, playing. SKidz Clever Activity Boxes covers the age range from birth to 5 years in 5 boxes. The ages are divided as follows, 0-6 months, 6-12 months, 12-18 months, 18-24 months and 2-5 years. How it works is that you buy the box appropriate to your child’s age, which includes the equipment needed as well as an easy to follow manual. There are over 100 activities in each box which are all age appropriate and helps your child learn through play. It also includes nursery rhymes and sensory play ideas. You can then just choose what activities to do with your child and have fun while spending some quality, uninterrupted time together. The other option is to follow the curriculum. This is also ideal for little ones who stay at home. The curriculum has divided the activities into a more formal structure, where it tells you what activities to do each day of the week. It also works in a 3 week cycle so that you do not repeat the same activity every time. The activities are also divided into 3 month age gaps. This means that when you for instance purchase the 6-12 month box, the activities are divided into 6-9 months and 9-12 months, which you get in the same box. More info can be found on our website http://skidz.co.za/ and you can follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/skidzsa. We can also be contacted directly at info@skidz.co.za

Parenting Hub

Bedwetting Myths Debunked by Dr Michael Mol

Bedwetting is a common occurrence in many South African households. Research has shown that up to 25% of children at the age of 4 and an estimated 10% of South African children aged between 4-15 years old experience bedwetting. Even though bedwetting is common, it is not often spoken about openly due to feelings of embarrassment. This embarrassment and lack of communication has contributed to a number of myths surrounding bedwetting coming to light.   Dr Michael Mol, Brand Ambassador for DryNites® Pyjama Pants, debunks seven common myths below, in the hopes of helping parents support their children affected by bedwetting. Myth 1: Bedwetting is caused by drinking too much fluids before bedtime  This is not true. The medical term for bedwetting is Nocturnal Enuresis, which is summarised as the involuntary discharge of urine after the age at which bladder control should have been established. The word to take note of is involuntary, which means that the child does not know that they are wetting the bed. There can be numerous reasons for bedwetting. In most cases, it’s linked to delays in physiological development, children are unique and each child develops at a different pace. It could also stem from being in a very deep sleep or a bowel issue like constipation. It is suggested that you limit your child’s intake of sugary or caffeinated drinks a couple of hours before bedtime but they should always be allowed to drink water as this doesn’t affect whether or not your child will wet the bed. Myth 2: Using an absorbent product enables bedwetting Bedwetting products, such as DryNites® Pyjama Pants, have been shown to improve sleep quality, boost confidence and reduce stress (which can be a causational factor in bedwetting), as it makes wetting the bed less of a big deal. DryNites® Pyjama Pants will also give your child some control over the situation, especially if they have reached sleep over age. Myth 3: If your child is properly toilet trained, they shouldn’t be wetting the bed If your child wets the bed it doesn’t mean that they haven’t been properly toilet trained. Urine control during the day is completely different to what goes on when your child is sleeping. In most cases it will rectify itself in time and is nothing to worry about. Never blame yourself or think that you didn’t finish the job properly when you were taking them through the toilet training phase. Your child could be a star bathroom goer while they’re awake, but it is nobody’s fault if they wet the bed while they’re asleep. Myth 4: Children wet the bed when they are lazy to go to the bathroom This is false and, if believed, could lead parents to blame their child for wetting the bed, which will only exacerbate the problem. There are several reasons why your child may be wetting the bed. These are the most common problems associated with bedwetting: Delay in bladder reflex development, meaning your child’s bladder is not signalling the brain to wake up Their body may not be producing enough anti-diuretic hormone, which slows down urine production at night, so we don’t have to wake up as much A delay in bladder development can result in lower bladder capacity Myth 5: Punishing your child for wetting the bed will help their progress Remember that your child has no control over the situation and probably feels incredibly bad about it. Being punished for something they can’t help will only cause self-esteem to decrease and stress to increase. Many parents go the opposite way and try star charts or reward systems for dry nights. The best thing a parent can do for their child in this situation is to remain calm and supportive while helping their child to manage their bedwetting. Understanding the problem goes a long way in terms of maintaining your child’s confidence levels. Myth 6: Bedwetting is a sign of psychological problems or anti-social tendencies There is no evidence suggesting that primary bedwetting has anything to do with psychological issues. It is true that if your child begins wetting the bed after a period of six months or more of being dry at night (secondary bedwetting), it could be due to stress or an emotional issue, such as grief. If this is the case then you should talk to your child about what’s on their mind and flag the issue with your GP, play therapist or psychologist. Myth 7: Waking your child in the middle of the night for a bathroom visit will end bedwetting It is common practice for parents to wake their children in the middle of the night and encourage them to use the bathroom to prevent bedwetting. This is often referred to as ‘lifting’ and can seem like a good strategy if it helps keep the sheets dry. The reality is that this will not improve your child’s bladder control and could frustrate them, especially if they don’t need to urinate when you wake them up. If your child is over five years old it may also cause them to feel discouraged which will have a negative effect on their self-esteem. For more information on DryNites® Pyjama Pants, or to ask Dr Mol a personal question or to request a free sample, visit  www.drynites.co.za.  DryNites® Pyjama Pants are currently available nationwide.   About DryNites® Pyjama Pants  DryNites® Pyjama Pants are a discreet, comfortable and absorbent form of bedtime protection. They can be worn under pyjamas or a nighty and come in designs suitable for age and gender to make them look and feel just like underwear. DryNites® Pyjama Pants are available for Boys and Girls and come in two sizes, 4-7 years and 8-15 years. These products have trusted absorbency and leakage protection to ensure a good night’s rest. And because they’re discreet and underwear-like, children can feel more confident and independent at bedtime, either at home or on nights away. Waterproof mattress protectors and sheets can be uncomfortable and indiscreet. DryNites® Pyjama Pants allow your child to sleep on their usual sheets to ensure that

Parenting Hub

Sensopathic Play – More Valuable Than Parents Realise

In a fast-moving digital world, where children are glued to the couch with a handheld device in-hand, give them an opportunity to experience the world through touch – a fun and engaging way to play and learn with endless developmental benefits. Parenting expert Nikki Bush says sensopathic play uses the sense of touch, the biggest sensory system in the body to help children better understand the world around them. “Sensopathic play is a very real, concrete and experiential way to learn through personal experience. And as Albert Einstein said: ‘Learning is experience. Everything else is just information’,” Bush says. Yet, in the modern world fewer children engage in sensopathic play, and instead spend more time in front of a laptop computer or playing video games. Bush says the digital world has evolved so much that these days real toys and games have even been replaced with similar screen-based games. “Screens don’t provide three-dimensional learning. And these days a 4-year old can play a shape matching game on a tablet, but can’t do it in the real world. Similarly, a 5-year old can build a 64-piece puzzle on a computer game, but struggles to build a puzzle in class,” she says. Parents are advised to encourage this type of play, and Bush says the options are endless. Drawing on a child’s back with bubble bath during bath time; allowing him/her to draw pictures on the patio door and window with shaving cream, and crafting little figures out of play dough are just a few examples that guarantee fun, interactive multisensory experiences. And there are many developmental benefits attached to each, including fine motor coordination and teaching a child how to feel emotionally safe and secure. “Balance children’s time on screens with even more time doing real activities in real time with real objects and real people and you’ll be surprised at the results,” she says. There are dozens of toys on the market that encourage sensopathic play and the Child Development Team at Toy Kingdom has carefully selected and curated a range of toys that encourage this form of play, including finger paints and play dough, as well as dolls and plush toys. “Every child needs an opportunity to experience the world in a very real sense and through the sense of touch. By ignoring sensopathic play, your child will not learn as effectively as when they are fully, physically engaged in their own learning creating meaningful experiences,” Bush says.

Good Night Baby

Loveys, Blankies, Burpies, Teddies….

Linus from the “Peanuts” comic strip is infamous for carrying around his security blanket while sucking his thumb. An attachment object or “lovey” as it is better known, is very helpful when you are trying to help your child have restful deep sleep. It becomes something of comfort when one of the parents is not around. A comfort object, transitional object, or security blanket is an item used to provide psychological comfort, especially in unusual or unique situations, or at bedtime for small children. Among toddlers, comfort objects may take the form of a blanket, a stuffed animal, or a favourite toy, and may be referred to by English-speaking toddlers as blankey and loveys. Here are the most frequently asked questions concerning comfort items. 1.     How does it work? Because these objects help a child make the transition from complete dependence to independence, experts sometimes refer to security objects as transitional objects. It takes the place of the mother-child bond. A security object can give a child both emotional and tangible comfort, especially during times of stress. In addition to providing security, the transitional object allows the child to show his autonomy. The young child enjoys having authority over something. It also becomes an association with certain scenarios. When used for sleep, the child may associate the particular item with sleep. 2.     What is a good choice for an attachment object? It is vital to make safety your first priority. Make sure the object doesn’t have any hard parts/edges, sounds or lights that could eventually disrupt your baby or toddler in the night. You’ll also need to think about choking hazards – no loveys that have small, detachable pieces, or even pieces that are sewn on but could potentially detach (think stuffed animals with small, plastic eyes sewn on). It could be a taglet, a soft toy, a blanket or “spoegdoek”/burp cloth. Whatever lovey you choose, buy at least two or three and secretly rotate them so that they each become equally loved and used. If the main lovey goes missing, you could easily replace it without your baby being any the wiser. Also note that although you may be intentionally introducing a lovey, your baby may make an association with something completely different. It’s important to be flexible. 3.     How do I introduce an attachment object? In the first stages of baby’s life, you do not necessarily put baby down with his lovey, but having it around or even between you at all times will help your baby associate it with comfort. You really can start using it from the start although your baby won’t make an association while he/she is so young. Long before you start to put baby down to sleep on his own with the lovey, make sure the lovey is present at nursing, soothing, reading and relaxing times. Have the lovey be a part of your day. Use it to play peek-a-boo, or have the lovey snuggle with you and your baby during feedings. Give the item some personality! And (most importantly), incorporate the lovey into the bedtime and naptime routines. Maybe you kiss the lovey then baby, or just simply snuggle them together. Try to ensure that the lovey’s always present. You can also wear the item so that it smells like you. 4.     What if my child does not become attached? Previous studies have shown that up to 70% of young children develop strong attachments to objects such as toys or blankets. The phenomenon tends to be confined to the western world, where children usually sleep apart from their parents at an early age  (http://www.theguardian.com/science/2007/mar/09/psychology.uknews). Children’s needs differ when it comes to transitional objects. Some children never even have a security object, some jump from one object to another in short periods of time, and others cling onto one object for years. Take your child’s lead but don’t give up to soon. (See next point). 5.     At what age should it be implemented? Attachment to a transitional object tends to develop at around six months of age. The attachment peaks at about eighteen to thirty months of age. The security objects are generally most important when the child is about two-and-a half years old. This may be because between the ages of two and three children develop the necessary skills that allow them to emotionally relate to people other than the people most important to them. Thus you can start introducing the lovey from as early as 1 day, but continue to try to introduce it for up to about a year. 6.     When should a transitional object be taken away? I personally believe that the child should give it up when it is ready, especially when the child is not walking around with it but actually only using it for sleep. Sometime between the ages two and five, most kids are ready to bid farewell to their blankies (though they may occasionally cling to these during times of stress). The attachment is rarely abnormal, but do keep an eye out if your tot is always snuggling his lovey instead of playing with toys, running around outside, or socialising with peers. If so, consider whether there’s an underlying cause, such as a stressful situation at home or a problem with a child-care provider. Weaning an older child away from a cherished blanket or doll requires that parents acknowledge the symbolic importance of the transitional object. If the object is simply taken away, that will rarely work. An alternative is to offer the child new and more satisfying things and it may take a while until the right combination is discovered. A child may need a transitional object at night for a few years after giving it up. “It’s easier for children to cope with stress during the day when other people are around than at bedtime when they are by themselves Here is some more tips on letting it go 7.     How should a lovey be used when used for sleep? (Should it

Parenting Hub

Teaching Your Child How to Save

By Thami Cele, Head of Savings & Investments, at Absa Retail and Business Banking To avoid the next generation making bad financial decisions and to help them enjoy financially fit lives, children need to be taught the essentials about money. If you’re a parent, this doesn’t mean filling your child’s head with financial facts and figures, but rather offering them age-appropriate money lessons. It’s never too soon to start either, as research by bestselling author Beth Kobliner in her book Get a Financial Life reveals that children as young as three can grasp financial concepts, particularly around saving and spending. Good financial skills are vital to ensure we are able to get through life as adults without too many pitfalls. From making a savings plan to guarantee security after retirement or as back-up in case of emergency to avoid falling into a cycle of debt, a healthy understanding of the concept of money is essential and it is important to start implementing these learnings from a young age. If you are a parent, here are five simple ways to teach your children about saving money:   Get a piggy bank This form of savings is more meaningful for younger children who can’t add or count too well. Keep the savings visible: you can try the old jam jar system as a savings mechanism for both short-term and long-term savings and allow them to even draw pictures to illustrate what they are saving for – like a toy guitar or teddy bear for short-term saving and perhaps a trip to an exciting destination for long-term purposes.   Take them to a bank to open their account This helps youngsters understand where their money is going and introduces them to the concept of financial institutions. In doing so, you help your child prioritise short-term and long-term savings.   Model good spending and saving habits As parents, you have the biggest influence on the way children save or spend. Examine your own spending habits: next time you dash out to get the latest designer handbag or shoes, ask what message you are really sending to your impressionable children.   Show them the money We have to remember that children today don’t see cash and financial transactions the same way we saw them when we were growing up, so we have to consciously make sure that children understand cash as the basis for learning more about money later. When giving children an allowance or income, give the money in denominations that encourage saving. For example if the amount is R50, give out five R10 notes and encourage that at least one be set aside for savings.   Also talk about money in front of your children. Many people avoid this, but if you have healthy discussions about money in front of them, they are more likely to develop the right attitudes towards savings.   Teach the difference between a want and need Talk to them about how adverts are designed to make them feel a need for the item they are selling – and how to differentiate between what they want and actually need. It will stand them in good stead when they are adults. Teaching your children how to save is an important step to prepare them for financial responsibility and a secure future. But it won’t go very far if you don’t “practice what you preach” and save for the future yourself. Whether we like it or not, most of us take after our parents and emulate the habits we observed in them during childhood. In other words, you need to start acting how you want your children to act when they grow up.  

Skidz

Stimulating Language and Listening Skills

Language is considered a verbal behaviour which is learned by means of the environment. A parent / caregiver and other significant adults in a child’s life provide modelling and reinforcement of these learned language structures and of speech (Allyn & Bacon, 2001). The caregiving environment is therefore extremely important to the child’s development. Early in a child’s life, as they start pointing to objects, parents often automatically label these objects and thus form the beginning of the child’s vocabulary acquisition. Once the child has some words, he might point and say “ball” and the parents would say “yes, that is a ball. A red ball. Do you want the ball?” The parent is thus modelling the sentence construction and the combination of words into a sentence, as well as reinforcing what the child is saying each time. Listening skills and auditory processing skills involve processing information through our hearing, memorising this information, and processing and reasoning the details to provide an output. These skills also include awareness of sounds in words (e.g. rhyme, sounding out words: c-a-t) which are crucial for later reading and writing. It seems that with the advances in technology, this generation of children are being more and more exposed to visual input such as televisions, iPad’s and smart phones, potentially reducing the necessity of the use of their auditory skills; The skills so crucial for many activities of daily life. The following ideas for activities may be used in order to stimulate your child’s language and listening skills: Make language a part of your daily routine. During bath time and dressing, name the parts of the body and your child’s clothes. During cooking, name the ingredients and make use of short phrases, such as “put it in the bowl.” and different actions e.g. “stir,” “pour,” “crack the egg.” Although your child may only learn to produce rhyming words later in their pre-school years, nursery rhymes are a fantastic way to teach rhyming incidentally. Playing games such as “I spy with my little eye” assists in your child’s listening, auditory memory and reasoning skills, as well as, creating awareness of the initial sound in a word. Playing “I am going on a picnic, and I’m going to bring…” assists in developing your child’s auditory memory skills. These are crucial for recall of details for following instructions and other important tasks. On a daily basis, your child should be provided with instructions that should be followed. These can even be silly instructions for example, “Take the spoon and put it on your head and walk to the door.” You may take turns giving each other instructions. This also gives your child a chance to express themselves and verbalise steps to be followed. Try to lengthen the complexity of the instructions, for example, if your child is able to cope with 3 details in the instruction move to 4 details (e.g.. draw a red circle under the square) or 4 steps (e.g. colour the girl’s hair in brown, draw grey eyes and then give her a mouth and nose). Identification of common labels such as Coke, Mac Donald’s, Pick ’n Pay, is an early pre-reading skill. This teaches children that symbols are associated with a meaning. Reading is such an important part of your child’s learning, language and development. From infancy, your child will learn the vocabulary and language structures, as well as early pre-reading skills such as holding a book, turning pages and that reading occurs from left to right (in English). This is crucial for language development and later reading skills. Furthermore, the love of books and of reading is an immeasurable asset. Ultimately, it seems that we need to go back to our roots and learn to enjoy and apply some of the games of our youth and our parent’s youth. For more information and ideas on how to aid in your child’s development, look at the SkidZ Clever Activity Box program. It is filled with age appropriate activities for language and listening skills as well as other areas of development. The program provides an option of a daily curriculum which includes activities for everyday of the week. The SkidZ program is not only comprehensive but provides hours of fun for little ones. For more information on the SkidZ Clever Activity Boxes visit their website at www.skidz.co.za Written by: Jemma Roets – Speech- Language Therapist and Audiologist Jemma Roets qualified as a Speech-language therapist and Audiologist at the University of Pretoria in 2007. She later completed her Masters degree in Early Childhood Intervention, specialising in severe disabilities, in 2013, at the University of Pretoria.

Meg Faure

Technology and Tots

Embracing technology is essential in this day and age, and I am certainly pro having kids learn to use technology in education. The question is “at what age should encourage our little ones to engage with screens?” Because babies engage very readily with screens, it can be tempting to rely on screen time as a convenient baby sitter, while you grab 5 minutes to yourself. However, the American Association of Paediatrics advises NO screen time in infants less than two years of age. Let’s look at the reasons for this advice and what we can do: Screen time is void of emotional engagement. TV’s and iPads are not a relationship. While your little one plays a game on your iPad or watches a program on TV, he is missing out on essential loving interactions at a time when his brain is wiring at a rate of a million connections a second. Choose that wiring opportunity carefully. Learning happens best in the context of love and time. Research has shown that babies learn best in the context of love and fun and laughter. This emotional connection is negated whist engaging with technology. Babies who watch videos in the first year, have fewer words at 18 months. Proceed with caution – your baby needs relationships to learn. The blue light emitted by screens has been shown to hamper sleep. Melatonin is our sleep hormone, controlling sleep/wake cycles. The blue light of a screen suppresses melatonin secretion, resulting in wakefulness. So for both you and your child (of any age), no screens for an hour before sleep times. What can you do: Model responsible screen behaviour – if you are on your device constantly, you are depriving your baby of engagement. In addition, your baby will think it’s the norm and expect that same standard for himself. No TV under 1 year of age. Between 2 and 5 years old let your baby watch content that makes sense to you – if there is no language and it makes no sense to you it’s worse. Watch and engage with screens WITH your toddler – talk through the show, explain the emotions – that way your baby learns through the experience. As a mom of three, I know that when life gets hectic and you actually just need 5 minutes to yourself it’s tempting to rely on an electronic babysitter. So my message is proceed with caution and insight and be a responsible parent in the technology age.

Parenting Hub

Crossing The Midline

There are many terms that teachers, psychologists and other professionals may use that, at times, are perhaps not explained effectively leaving parents at a loss to the significance of these difficulties. It is important to understand what the importance of these conditions are, (especially if they have been mentioned in your child’s school report) what they mean, and the possible consequences and repercussions thereof. The midline is akin to an imaginary line going down the middle of one’s body from head to toe. Midline crossing is important for many skills to develop later on. For example, midline crossing is important for a youngster to develop the ability to use one hand to write across the entire page. This will also determine whether the youngster will have the necessary skills to read the length of the sentence across the page from left to right A child who can’t cross the midline, for instance, would use his/her left hand to write or paint on the left-side of the page and his/her right hand to write or paint on the right-hand side of the page which can hamper the learning process. Crossing the midline is also an indicator of bilateral co-ordination which is the ability to use both sides of the body and brain simultaneously. This is important for gross motor skills such as climbing stairs, walking, riding a bicycle and swimming. In addition, bilateral co-ordination is also important to read, write and learn. In other words, the right and left brain have to work together, for example in reading the left brain’s task is to decode a word whilst the right brain facilitates the understanding and meaning of what was read. Midline crossing is therefore essential for a youngster to develop as it is a very necessary skill for learning in all areas of life.

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