Toddler - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

5 Parenting Tips For Children With Autism

When autism is diagnosed early the long term outcome is almost always better since you can start behavioral therapy early on. Being a parent is a demanding task that requires a lot of effort. If you have a special needs child then you will find parenting even more challenging. No parent is prepared when they find out that their child has autism and it may seem completely overwhelming, however there are some steps that you can take that will help you to cope easier and help you to assist your child better. Here are some simple parenting tips for children with autism: 1 Structure, Routine & Safety All children need structure, routine and safety but children with autism need it even more so. An autistic child will struggle to apply things learnt in one setting to another, so it will be important to find out what your child is learning at school and in therapy so that you can also apply those things at home. Consistency also needs to be applied to the way you deal with your child’s challenging behavior and interact with your child. Try and keep your daily routine the same as far as possible, so therapy times, meal times, play time and bedtime should be the same as far as possible. There will be times that you will need to break your schedule, so when this happens let your child know in plenty of time and help your child prepare for the change. While it may seem easier to keep your child at home due to unpredictable behavior it is important for your child to learn how to deal with the outside world too. Choose some regular errands that you do with your child such as grocery shopping so that your child can get accustomed to doing it on a regular basis. This should be included in your schedule and over time it will get easier and you child will become better adjusted. It is a great idea to set up a safe zone for your child in your home. This space should be a quiet area where your child can be comfortable, relax and feel safe. You can mark this space out clearly for your child. Keep in mind that your child has sensory sensitivities. This means that your child is super sensitive to sound, light, touch, smells and movements. Take this into account when you create this safe zone. This is going to be the place for your child to get away from it all and be safe. 2 Put Emphasis On Play Play is important for all children, as well as children with autism. In fact it may be even more important since your child will be doing a lot of therapeutic activities. Try and keep play as fun as possible, focusing on things that will bring your child out of his or her shell. Keep in mind that verbal skills is not your child’s forte so try and get some non-verbal activities that you can do together too so that your child can relax and not feel too much pressure. Remember to keep play fun rather than therapeutic. Make sure that you put loads of play time on your schedule and try to make it at a time that your child is most alert. 3 Positive Parenting Positive parenting is important for all children, but even more with special needs children. It is important to be patient and accept your child at whatever stage he or she is at. Focusing on the positive behaviors in your child with praise and rewards will go a long way. Be very specific when you praise your child so he or she knows exactly what it is that has been achieved. Find ways to reward your child for positive behavior that will reinforce your praise. Your child will regularly have tantrums and difficulty controlling his or her negative behaviors. Try to be patient and not to let this affect you, rather keep focused on figuring out what the trigger is for this behavior. Your autistic child will have more difficulty communicating and this can be a huge source of frustration for your child. Try and learn your child’s non-verbal cues. 4 Figure Out What Works There is no one thing that will work for all autistic children. Your child will have his or her own unique triggers and ways of communication. Since your autistic child will struggle with verbal communication you will need to pay special attention to your child’s non-verbal communication. Learning about autism and specifically about your own child is key here. You will need to try out different things to find out what really works for you and your child. Trust your instincts and try to be patient with yourself and your child. There are so many different types of approaches to treating autism so if you try one type of therapy and it doesn’t work don’t let if get you down. Keep trying until you find the unique plan that works best in your unique circumstances. 5 Get Support Looking after yourself is essential so that you are emotionally, physically and spiritually strong enough to look after your child. While you may feel that taking some time off from your child is selfish and that it is your responsibility you do need the time off to look after yourself. Get a family member to look after your child regularly or a carer so you can rest a bit. Joining a support group for ASD will help you immensely since you will be able to meet other families that are dealing with the same things you are. You will be able to get advice from other people that are facing the same challenges as well as get emotional support when things get tough. Dealing with a special needs child can take its toll on you emotionally, so you (or your parter) may suffer from depression, stress or anxiety. Consider getting counseling for yourself,

October 20, 2017

Why is early childhood education so important?

By… Chantelle Anderson – Head Directress and Owner at Montessori Nosipho pre-school As an early childhood educator I often come across concerned parents who ask the question, when is the right time for my child to start school? There are many things to consider when answering this very important question. Maria Montessori believed that children pass through different stages throughout their development when they have a sensitivity to learn a specific skill, hence she came up with the term ‘sensitive periods’. Children are in their sensitive period for many things between birth and 6 years of age so it is important to make sure that when they enter into each stage that their needs are met and they are stimulated correctly and sufficiently in order for them to develop in all the ways necessary, cognitively, intellectually, socially, emotional and physically. Different sensitive periods include, sensitive period for order, language, movement, refinement of senses, grace and courtesy, numbers, just to name but a few. A child’s sensitive period for language is between birth and 6 years, actually believe it or not from 7 months in utero to 6 years old. The prenatal influence on language is important as this will allow a child to start making sounds and speaking small simple words at the age of 7-8 months to being able to communicate with 3-4 words sentences by 3 years of age. In saying this, this is an important part of a child’s life, as they need to be able to use words or language in order to communicate, a vital part in our everyday lives. I have heard concerns from many parents that because their child isn’t of speaking age, it is atomically assumed that they cannot attend school because they cannot communicate. This is not the case at all as children will only learn faster and be more advanced being around children of their similar age and having the stimulating environments influence on them, especially in a Montessori environment were children are encouraged to develop through many different ways and experiences, so why can’t they be at school? Why can’t they listen to their older siblings or school peers speak and teaching them how to do so in turn? Children will often copy a child of similar age better than that of a much older sibling or parent so school would give them the best opportunity for this. Another important sensitive period that cannot be missed and certainly won’t be tented to being at home stuck in front of the T.V or not having an adequate environment to help them through this stage or to help the child develop is the sensitive period for movement. A child may learn to crawl, walk and run in their home environment but in the unfortunate event that a child lives in a home environment where they don’t have a garden or play area how will a child learn other necessary skills or how will they meet their sensitive period for movement (birth to 4 years). An early childhood setting will help them by meeting their needs by providing the child with playground equipment that the child can learn to manipulate, and activities that encourage a lot of movement, for example something simple like fetching their snack from their bag, or walking to the bathroom to wash their hands, or tucking in their chair after working at a table, or simply packing away a book they have read, an activity they have done or even toys they have played with. In turn doing all these very simple activities will not only meet their need for movement but will also help develop the child in other ways, fine and gross motor skills, independence, concentration and so on. They are all so closely linked and without the completion of once stage of development another cannot start. My favourite sensitive period that I love watching children work through and explore is their sensitive period for refinement of senses. A child is fascinated with their sensorial experiences such as weight, smell, touch, taste, and sounds, enabling them to make sensory discriminations. A Montessori environment provides the early child with the ability to explore all of these with specifically designed apparatus, such as taste bottles, the sound bottles, the Montessori bells, the baric tablets and touch tablets etc. In a home environment a child will no doubt be exposed to some of these, for example smelling what mom is cooking for the children, walking around the house feeling the different surfaces they walk on, listening to the different sounds they hear, car driving past, a bird, the wind etc, but why should a child be limited to these experiences only when they can have so much more at their fingertips while they are at school. As an example in our Montessori classroom, we provide the children with a nature table, giving them the chance to not only explore the outdoors while looking for something to put on it, but to touch and feel different weights and roughness of items, or feeding the fish in the fish tank, and often with a surprised look on their face when they find out the texture of the fish food, or when their fingers accidentally touch the water and they realise its warmer than they thought. At art time getting the feeling of paint on their hands, or gluey fingers, of the surprising sounds when they cut different textured paper or draw with different crayons, chalk, pencils and charcoal, or the noise of tearing tissue paper, the list is endless. It is so vitally important that a child is given the opportunity to develop with the correct environment around them, think back to your childhood, some of my best memories are with the group of friends I met at my pre-school and how we endured this new thing of ‘going to school’ together but had so much fun in doing so, working through our different stages of our childhood and growing together rather

October 19, 2017

QUALITIES IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CHILD’S SELF ESTEEM

Searching for some easy ways to help your kids feel good about themselves? A practical way to build their self-esteem is to focus on just four qualities. Belonging is about meaningful connections with others. Kids, who feel they belong, feel safer, self-assured and better at managing challenges. This is why when friends exclude them it really hurts. By helping them to adjust to new environments; encouraging healthy friendships and building family values, you boost their sense of belonging. Tips Set up play dates and activities where they can learn to cooperate Encourage team sports/group activities In new places and situations help them feel that they belong Do fun things together as a family Mastery is the ability to achieve a skill / feel competent at something. Kids love to be noticed whenever they get something right without your help. This is why your four-year-old melts down when you take over for them. Babies don’t give up on walking after falling down once or twice. As parents we need to step back a little, motivating them to keep trying, while encouraging them to achieve things by themselves. Tips Be encouraging when they are trying/showing you a new skill Avoid taking over when they’re struggling (rather encourage finding other ways ) Always comment on their efforts Independence is about being your own person – making decisions, problem solving and taking responsibility. When kids are given chances to manage themselves and become inwardly directed, their confidence soars. Remember over time, school and sport demands increase and kids are expected to manage without your help, relying on their own inner qualities and resources. Tips Do less for them, and more with them (i.e. stand by while supporting with words) Don’t always give solutions – rather encourage them to think Offer choices – it builds independence Encourage decision-making- without telling them what you would do Involve them in simple household chores from an early age – it builds independence, responsibility and self-discipline. If you’re in doubt as to whether they can do something without your help, give it a try. Use words to guide them, while standing by and commenting on how well they’re tackling the task. Although they may want you to help, if you keep encouraging and only help with words, they’ll soon believe in themselves too. Generosity is about giving to others without expecting anything back. In helping others, kids feel good about themselves. Where children have plenty of opportunities and positive encouragement to be generous, they naturally become more helpful and caring, and compassionate towards others. Remember they’re learning by seeing what you do. With a little bit of effort, any selfish habits can be unlearned, and our kids can become far more helpful, kind and generous than we can imagine. Lead the way and let them follow. Tips Be caring – share hugs and smiles Encourage gift making, giving and donating used clothes/toys Create a “gratitude jar” – let them write down what they feel most grateful for daily and put it in the jar The wonderful parenting joy about strengthening these qualities (adapted from the Circle of Courage Model) is that it with a little bit of focus and effort we can build lifelong self-esteem in our children. Written by Carol Surya, author of ParentMagic – raising kids positively.

October 17, 2017

Foppapedretti Piuleggero

Foppapedretti came about from the passion for wood of its founder, Ezio Foppa Pedretti. It all began in 1945, in the home in Telgate (in Bergamo) where young Ezio devoted his spare time to making wooden toys out of the leftovers from his uncle Pierino’s umbrella handle factory. In the 1950s he began making the first products for babies, products that launched the company and became its visiting card for decades to come. Wood remains the most important material used by Foppapedretti, but seeing as the company is always on the lookout for new ideas to satisfy the needs of the ever-changing market; in 2004 they embarked upon an adventure in the world of pushchairs. Foppapedretti wanted to apply its company philosophy to this industry as well, and the results are clear to see: products must be highly functional, practical and safe, but also innovative to always stay at least one step ahead. And so, after about four years of experimentation, the only stroller with electrical motor on the market today was introduced in 2011 (production began in March 2012): MyoTronic, a product the President and CEO, Luciano Bonetti, invested a great deal of personal energy in. In 2011, MyoTronic won the prestigious international Red Dot Design Award. The super-lightweight and sturdy stroller Piùleggero by Foppapedretti weighs only 3, 6 kg. opened, closed and pushed with just one hand. used from birth (usable up to 3 years, maximum weight 15 kg) Adjustable footrest and extendable and removable canopy, With UPF50+ protection: this fabric shields from the sun’s ultraviolet rays with 98% protection. An aluminium stroller which weighs only 3,6 kg (without accessories) and closes easily, Standing up on its own and occupying a little space. a multi-position reclining backrest, 5-point safety belt with chest protectors, protective armrest which can be opened Spacious storage basket. Safety Strollers are designed and made in compliance with safety regulations to ensure that: The dimensions are such that no part of the body will get stuck. The structure has undergone static and dynamic load tests to ensure the stability of the blocking devices. The opening and closing mechanisms have been designed so that the stroller cannot accidentally fold up. The product is entirely stable and, under normal conditions of use, will not tip over. It has undergone mechanical resistance and stability tests to ensure that it can withstand normal daily use without breaking or warping. Tests have been done on the braking and parking mechanisms, the grip of the handles and rough terrain travel. It has no small parts that can be ingested. The materials and paints used are non-toxic and free from any ingredient that may be hazardous to human health. The instructions manual provides all the information and safety warnings you need to use the product correctly. We suggest: That you carefully read the warnings found in the instruction manual. Any product, even when constructed in compliance with European law, may be dangerous if used improperly. Do not use a damaged product nor one that has been used before as there may be invisible damage (deteriorated materials due to age or improper storage) or it may not be compliant with current law. When buying a childcare product, take note of the age for which the item was designed. When you buy a product, especially a childcare product, make sure that either the wrapping or the product itself has a reference to an EC law: this guarantees that the product is in compliance with the general product safety laws. Retail price is R 5 299.00 Available at the following retailers: Hamleys, (Sandton , Eastgate , Menlyn & Mall of Africa) www.takealot.com www.loot.com www.simplicity.co.za www.thebabyzone.co.za

October 9, 2017

MYTH BUSTERS BABY SLEEP EDITION

Keeping your baby up longer at night/between naps will encourage her to fall asleep faster and sleep better. This is definitely a myth. Keeping your baby up longer at night/between naps will result in an overtired child. An overtired child will be fussy, cranky, have trouble feeding and take much longer to settle into sleep. They will also be more likely to wake during the night and earlier in the mornings, and will only have very short naps the following day. Your baby will sleep through the night when she is three months of age. It is possible, if you have set the foundations for healthy sleep skills early and your child is developing good self-soothing strategies. In this instance, you can usually expect babies to start sleeping through the night between three and six months of age (providing they are healthy and developing well). However children that still rely on “props” to fall asleep, such as feeding/rocking/patting, etc. will more than likely continue to wake through the night. This is because they have never learned the ability to put themselves to sleep so they are unable to consolidate sleep cycles through the night. They will often rouse after a sleep cycle and instead of using their own skills to return quickly to sleep they will cry out for their “prop” before they are able to go back to sleep. Letting your baby fall asleep while being held is a bad thing; you should never wake a sleeping baby. It is very difficult to always put your baby in their cot/bassinet while awake and allow them to use their own skills to fall asleep when they are newborns, as they need to sleep often. Parents will sometimes be out and about and need to put their baby to sleep in the pram/car or carrier. However it is important to be respectful of your child’s sleep needs and whenever possible give them the opportunity to attempt to fall asleep in their cot/bassinet. This is the place where they are going to get the best quality sleep. Remember how challenging and disturbed your own sleep is if you have to sleep in the car, or even when staying in a hotel room as opposed to your own bed at home. If you always let your baby fall asleep in your arms they are never going to develop their own self-soothing skills. Just remember that as your child grows, they get heavier and while you may find it easy to rock a newborn to sleep in your arms it will not be as easy to do this with your one, two or even three year old. It is never enjoyable to have to wake a sleeping baby, and the only reason I would suggest doing this would be to preserve a bedtime. As children get older their sleep needs change and sometimes too much daytime sleep (for an older baby or child) can have a negative effect on bedtime and sleeping through the night. However the opposite is also true and over-tiredness will also negatively impact night time sleep so it’s best to err on the side of more sleep as opposed to less. Daytime naps aren’t always needed. Most children will usually drop their daytime nap around three or four years of age (providing they are getting their 11-12hrs of night time sleep). However, it is possible that children as young as 2 ½ years of age drop their daytime naps. Before this age, a daytime nap or naps are very important to prevent over-tiredness and recharge their little bodies for the remainder of the day. Filling your baby up by putting infant cereal in her bottle will help her sleep. This is a myth. For very young babies, the length of time for which they are able to sleep is largely determined by how quickly their little bellies empty after a feed. However, as your baby reaches the three to six month age, it is healthy sleep habits and good self-soothing skills (that can be introduced gently from birth) that will help your baby sleep for longer periods. It is always very important to ensure your baby is well fed and developing properly, but the addition of good nutrition throughout the entire day is more important than adding infant cereal to their bedtime bottle.

September 28, 2017

Letting Go of the Guilt and Enjoying Our Kids

As parents, but especially mothers we tend to be so hard on ourselves. We easily compare ourselves to others and find fault with what we do. This causes so much guilt. We judge ourselves harshly if we are working moms for not spending more time with our kids, or if we stay at home we do the same for not doing enough, not playing enough or for just being too tired. We spend hours on Pinterest looking for ideas of age appropriate educational activities to do with our kids, which we just don’t get to doing because preparing the activities takes too much time and effort. By the end of the day we are exhausted and still feel that we have not done enough. As mom’s we need to relax and deal with ourselves with some grace. That mom you saw yesterday who always looks like she has it all figured out, also has her struggles and breakdowns, today you just didn’t see it. What do our kids really need? They need us to be present when they are with us. Pack away your phone, switch off from work and chores and just spend some FUN time with them. It doesn’t have to be for long, but they need to have your undivided attention. They need to play and laugh, and you do too. Children build relationships differently to adults. Children learn to love, trust and learn through play. So if you want a strong trusting relationship with your child, play with them, listen to them. If you want your child to be successful, to love acquiring new knowledge and to enjoy learning (and later to enjoy school), they need to learn through play. That is the way they learn. That is the way that their brains are wired to learn. I know most of us are busy and don’t know where to start, especially when our kids are still very young, and can’t talk or take initiative yet. And although a baby is super cute and her smile melts your heart, the question remains, how do we play with them, so that they learn and build all those little neuro pathways in their brain that they need later on in life? Those little pathways only develop in the first few years of your life and then they are all you have to use for the rest of your life. The answer is seems simple, we need to do purposeful play, but where do we even start when our lives are so busy? That is why Skidz has developed an awesome product which takes the work out of it for you as the parent and gives you all the info and equipment needed to enjoy the time that you have with your child, playing. SKidz Clever Activity Boxes covers the age range from birth to 5 years in 5 boxes. The ages are divided as follows, 0-6 months, 6-12 months, 12-18 months, 18-24 months and 2-5 years. How it works is that you buy the box appropriate to your child’s age, which includes the equipment needed as well as an easy to follow manual. There are over 100 activities in each box which are all age appropriate and helps your child learn through play. It also includes nursery rhymes and sensory play ideas. You can then just choose what activities to do with your child and have fun while spending some quality, uninterrupted time together. The other option is to follow the curriculum. This is also ideal for little ones who stay at home. The curriculum has divided the activities into a more formal structure, where it tells you what activities to do each day of the week. It also works in a 3 week cycle so that you do not repeat the same activity every time. The activities are also divided into 3 month age gaps. This means that when you for instance purchase the 6-12 month box, the activities are divided into 6-9 months and 9-12 months, which you get in the same box. More info can be found on our website http://skidz.co.za/ and you can follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/skidzsa. We can also be contacted directly at info@skidz.co.za

September 13, 2017

Bedwetting Myths Debunked by Dr Michael Mol

Bedwetting is a common occurrence in many South African households. Research has shown that up to 25% of children at the age of 4 and an estimated 10% of South African children aged between 4-15 years old experience bedwetting. Even though bedwetting is common, it is not often spoken about openly due to feelings of embarrassment. This embarrassment and lack of communication has contributed to a number of myths surrounding bedwetting coming to light. Dr Michael Mol, Brand Ambassador for DryNites® Pyjama Pants, debunks seven common myths below, in the hopes of helping parents support their children affected by bedwetting. Myth 1: Bedwetting is caused by drinking too much fluids before bedtime This is not true. The medical term for bedwetting is Nocturnal Enuresis, which is summarised as the involuntary discharge of urine after the age at which bladder control should have been established. The word to take note of is involuntary, which means that the child does not know that they are wetting the bed. There can be numerous reasons for bedwetting. In most cases, it’s linked to delays in physiological development, children are unique and each child develops at a different pace. It could also stem from being in a very deep sleep or a bowel issue like constipation. It is suggested that you limit your child’s intake of sugary or caffeinated drinks a couple of hours before bedtime but they should always be allowed to drink water as this doesn’t affect whether or not your child will wet the bed. Myth 2: Using an absorbent product enables bedwetting Bedwetting products, such as DryNites® Pyjama Pants, have been shown to improve sleep quality, boost confidence and reduce stress (which can be a causational factor in bedwetting), as it makes wetting the bed less of a big deal. DryNites® Pyjama Pants will also give your child some control over the situation, especially if they have reached sleep over age. Myth 3: If your child is properly toilet trained, they shouldn’t be wetting the bed If your child wets the bed it doesn’t mean that they haven’t been properly toilet trained. Urine control during the day is completely different to what goes on when your child is sleeping. In most cases it will rectify itself in time and is nothing to worry about. Never blame yourself or think that you didn’t finish the job properly when you were taking them through the toilet training phase. Your child could be a star bathroom goer while they’re awake, but it is nobody’s fault if they wet the bed while they’re asleep. Myth 4: Children wet the bed when they are lazy to go to the bathroom This is false and, if believed, could lead parents to blame their child for wetting the bed, which will only exacerbate the problem. There are several reasons why your child may be wetting the bed. These are the most common problems associated with bedwetting: Delay in bladder reflex development, meaning your child’s bladder is not signalling the brain to wake up Their body may not be producing enough anti-diuretic hormone, which slows down urine production at night, so we don’t have to wake up as much A delay in bladder development can result in lower bladder capacity Myth 5: Punishing your child for wetting the bed will help their progress Remember that your child has no control over the situation and probably feels incredibly bad about it. Being punished for something they can’t help will only cause self-esteem to decrease and stress to increase. Many parents go the opposite way and try star charts or reward systems for dry nights. The best thing a parent can do for their child in this situation is to remain calm and supportive while helping their child to manage their bedwetting. Understanding the problem goes a long way in terms of maintaining your child’s confidence levels. Myth 6: Bedwetting is a sign of psychological problems or anti-social tendencies There is no evidence suggesting that primary bedwetting has anything to do with psychological issues. It is true that if your child begins wetting the bed after a period of six months or more of being dry at night (secondary bedwetting), it could be due to stress or an emotional issue, such as grief. If this is the case then you should talk to your child about what’s on their mind and flag the issue with your GP, play therapist or psychologist. Myth 7: Waking your child in the middle of the night for a bathroom visit will end bedwetting It is common practice for parents to wake their children in the middle of the night and encourage them to use the bathroom to prevent bedwetting. This is often referred to as ‘lifting’ and can seem like a good strategy if it helps keep the sheets dry. The reality is that this will not improve your child’s bladder control and could frustrate them, especially if they don’t need to urinate when you wake them up. If your child is over five years old it may also cause them to feel discouraged which will have a negative effect on their self-esteem. For more information on DryNites® Pyjama Pants, or to ask Dr Mol a personal question or to request a free sample, visit www.drynites.co.za. DryNites® Pyjama Pants are currently available nationwide. About DryNites® Pyjama Pants DryNites® Pyjama Pants are a discreet, comfortable and absorbent form of bedtime protection. They can be worn under pyjamas or a nighty and come in designs suitable for age and gender to make them look and feel just like underwear. DryNites® Pyjama Pants are available for Boys and Girls and come in two sizes, 4-7 years and 8-15 years. These products have trusted absorbency and leakage protection to ensure a good night’s rest. And because they’re discreet and underwear-like, children can feel more confident and independent at bedtime, either at home or on nights away. Waterproof mattress protectors and sheets can be uncomfortable and indiscreet. DryNites® Pyjama Pants allow your child to sleep on their usual sheets to ensure that

September 11, 2017

Sensopathic Play – More Valuable Than Parents Realise

In a fast-moving digital world, where children are glued to the couch with a handheld device in-hand, give them an opportunity to experience the world through touch – a fun and engaging way to play and learn with endless developmental benefits. Parenting expert Nikki Bush says sensopathic play uses the sense of touch, the biggest sensory system in the body to help children better understand the world around them. “Sensopathic play is a very real, concrete and experiential way to learn through personal experience. And as Albert Einstein said: ‘Learning is experience. Everything else is just information’,” Bush says. Yet, in the modern world fewer children engage in sensopathic play, and instead spend more time in front of a laptop computer or playing video games. Bush says the digital world has evolved so much that these days real toys and games have even been replaced with similar screen-based games. “Screens don’t provide three-dimensional learning. And these days a 4-year old can play a shape matching game on a tablet, but can’t do it in the real world. Similarly, a 5-year old can build a 64-piece puzzle on a computer game, but struggles to build a puzzle in class,” she says. Parents are advised to encourage this type of play, and Bush says the options are endless. Drawing on a child’s back with bubble bath during bath time; allowing him/her to draw pictures on the patio door and window with shaving cream, and crafting little figures out of play dough are just a few examples that guarantee fun, interactive multisensory experiences. And there are many developmental benefits attached to each, including fine motor coordination and teaching a child how to feel emotionally safe and secure. “Balance children’s time on screens with even more time doing real activities in real time with real objects and real people and you’ll be surprised at the results,” she says. There are dozens of toys on the market that encourage sensopathic play and the Child Development Team at Toy Kingdom has carefully selected and curated a range of toys that encourage this form of play, including finger paints and play dough, as well as dolls and plush toys. “Every child needs an opportunity to experience the world in a very real sense and through the sense of touch. By ignoring sensopathic play, your child will not learn as effectively as when they are fully, physically engaged in their own learning creating meaningful experiences,” Bush says.

September 8, 2017

Loveys, Blankies, Burpies, Teddies….

Linus from the “Peanuts” comic strip is infamous for carrying around his security blanket while sucking his thumb. An attachment object or “lovey” as it is better known, is very helpful when you are trying to help your child have restful deep sleep. It becomes something of comfort when one of the parents is not around. A comfort object, transitional object, or security blanket is an item used to provide psychological comfort, especially in unusual or unique situations, or at bedtime for small children. Among toddlers, comfort objects may take the form of a blanket, a stuffed animal, or a favourite toy, and may be referred to by English-speaking toddlers as blankey and loveys. Here are the most frequently asked questions concerning comfort items. 1. How does it work? Because these objects help a child make the transition from complete dependence to independence, experts sometimes refer to security objects as transitional objects. It takes the place of the mother-child bond. A security object can give a child both emotional and tangible comfort, especially during times of stress. In addition to providing security, the transitional object allows the child to show his autonomy. The young child enjoys having authority over something. It also becomes an association with certain scenarios. When used for sleep, the child may associate the particular item with sleep. 2. What is a good choice for an attachment object? It is vital to make safety your first priority. Make sure the object doesn’t have any hard parts/edges, sounds or lights that could eventually disrupt your baby or toddler in the night. You’ll also need to think about choking hazards – no loveys that have small, detachable pieces, or even pieces that are sewn on but could potentially detach (think stuffed animals with small, plastic eyes sewn on). It could be a taglet, a soft toy, a blanket or “spoegdoek”/burp cloth. Whatever lovey you choose, buy at least two or three and secretly rotate them so that they each become equally loved and used. If the main lovey goes missing, you could easily replace it without your baby being any the wiser. Also note that although you may be intentionally introducing a lovey, your baby may make an association with something completely different. It’s important to be flexible. 3. How do I introduce an attachment object? In the first stages of baby’s life, you do not necessarily put baby down with his lovey, but having it around or even between you at all times will help your baby associate it with comfort. You really can start using it from the start although your baby won’t make an association while he/she is so young. Long before you start to put baby down to sleep on his own with the lovey, make sure the lovey is present at nursing, soothing, reading and relaxing times. Have the lovey be a part of your day. Use it to play peek-a-boo, or have the lovey snuggle with you and your baby during feedings. Give the item some personality! And (most importantly), incorporate the lovey into the bedtime and naptime routines. Maybe you kiss the lovey then baby, or just simply snuggle them together. Try to ensure that the lovey’s always present. You can also wear the item so that it smells like you. 4. What if my child does not become attached? Previous studies have shown that up to 70% of young children develop strong attachments to objects such as toys or blankets. The phenomenon tends to be confined to the western world, where children usually sleep apart from their parents at an early age (http://www.theguardian.com/science/2007/mar/09/psychology.uknews). Children’s needs differ when it comes to transitional objects. Some children never even have a security object, some jump from one object to another in short periods of time, and others cling onto one object for years. Take your child’s lead but don’t give up to soon. (See next point). 5. At what age should it be implemented? Attachment to a transitional object tends to develop at around six months of age. The attachment peaks at about eighteen to thirty months of age. The security objects are generally most important when the child is about two-and-a half years old. This may be because between the ages of two and three children develop the necessary skills that allow them to emotionally relate to people other than the people most important to them. Thus you can start introducing the lovey from as early as 1 day, but continue to try to introduce it for up to about a year. 6. When should a transitional object be taken away? I personally believe that the child should give it up when it is ready, especially when the child is not walking around with it but actually only using it for sleep. Sometime between the ages two and five, most kids are ready to bid farewell to their blankies (though they may occasionally cling to these during times of stress). The attachment is rarely abnormal, but do keep an eye out if your tot is always snuggling his lovey instead of playing with toys, running around outside, or socialising with peers. If so, consider whether there’s an underlying cause, such as a stressful situation at home or a problem with a child-care provider. Weaning an older child away from a cherished blanket or doll requires that parents acknowledge the symbolic importance of the transitional object. If the object is simply taken away, that will rarely work. An alternative is to offer the child new and more satisfying things and it may take a while until the right combination is discovered. A child may need a transitional object at night for a few years after giving it up. “It’s easier for children to cope with stress during the day when other people are around than at bedtime when they are by themselves Here is some more tips on letting it go 7. How should a lovey be used when used for sleep? (Should it

September 7, 2017

Teaching Your Child How to Save

By Thami Cele, Head of Savings & Investments, at Absa Retail and Business Banking To avoid the next generation making bad financial decisions and to help them enjoy financially fit lives, children need to be taught the essentials about money. If you’re a parent, this doesn’t mean filling your child’s head with financial facts and figures, but rather offering them age-appropriate money lessons. It’s never too soon to start either, as research by bestselling author Beth Kobliner in her book Get a Financial Life reveals that children as young as three can grasp financial concepts, particularly around saving and spending. Good financial skills are vital to ensure we are able to get through life as adults without too many pitfalls. From making a savings plan to guarantee security after retirement or as back-up in case of emergency to avoid falling into a cycle of debt, a healthy understanding of the concept of money is essential and it is important to start implementing these learnings from a young age. If you are a parent, here are five simple ways to teach your children about saving money: Get a piggy bank This form of savings is more meaningful for younger children who can’t add or count too well. Keep the savings visible: you can try the old jam jar system as a savings mechanism for both short-term and long-term savings and allow them to even draw pictures to illustrate what they are saving for – like a toy guitar or teddy bear for short-term saving and perhaps a trip to an exciting destination for long-term purposes. Take them to a bank to open their account This helps youngsters understand where their money is going and introduces them to the concept of financial institutions. In doing so, you help your child prioritise short-term and long-term savings. Model good spending and saving habits As parents, you have the biggest influence on the way children save or spend. Examine your own spending habits: next time you dash out to get the latest designer handbag or shoes, ask what message you are really sending to your impressionable children. Show them the money We have to remember that children today don’t see cash and financial transactions the same way we saw them when we were growing up, so we have to consciously make sure that children understand cash as the basis for learning more about money later. When giving children an allowance or income, give the money in denominations that encourage saving. For example if the amount is R50, give out five R10 notes and encourage that at least one be set aside for savings. Also talk about money in front of your children. Many people avoid this, but if you have healthy discussions about money in front of them, they are more likely to develop the right attitudes towards savings. Teach the difference between a want and need Talk to them about how adverts are designed to make them feel a need for the item they are selling – and how to differentiate between what they want and actually need. It will stand them in good stead when they are adults. Teaching your children how to save is an important step to prepare them for financial responsibility and a secure future. But it won’t go very far if you don’t “practice what you preach” and save for the future yourself. Whether we like it or not, most of us take after our parents and emulate the habits we observed in them during childhood. In other words, you need to start acting how you want your children to act when they grow up.

September 6, 2017

Stimulating Language and Listening Skills

Language is considered a verbal behaviour which is learned by means of the environment. A parent / caregiver and other significant adults in a child’s life provide modelling and reinforcement of these learned language structures and of speech (Allyn & Bacon, 2001). The caregiving environment is therefore extremely important to the child’s development. Early in a child’s life, as they start pointing to objects, parents often automatically label these objects and thus form the beginning of the child’s vocabulary acquisition. Once the child has some words, he might point and say “ball” and the parents would say “yes, that is a ball. A red ball. Do you want the ball?” The parent is thus modelling the sentence construction and the combination of words into a sentence, as well as reinforcing what the child is saying each time. Listening skills and auditory processing skills involve processing information through our hearing, memorising this information, and processing and reasoning the details to provide an output. These skills also include awareness of sounds in words (e.g. rhyme, sounding out words: c-a-t) which are crucial for later reading and writing. It seems that with the advances in technology, this generation of children are being more and more exposed to visual input such as televisions, iPad’s and smart phones, potentially reducing the necessity of the use of their auditory skills; The skills so crucial for many activities of daily life. The following ideas for activities may be used in order to stimulate your child’s language and listening skills: Make language a part of your daily routine. During bath time and dressing, name the parts of the body and your child’s clothes. During cooking, name the ingredients and make use of short phrases, such as “put it in the bowl.” and different actions e.g. “stir,” “pour,” “crack the egg.” Although your child may only learn to produce rhyming words later in their pre-school years, nursery rhymes are a fantastic way to teach rhyming incidentally. Playing games such as “I spy with my little eye” assists in your child’s listening, auditory memory and reasoning skills, as well as, creating awareness of the initial sound in a word. Playing “I am going on a picnic, and I’m going to bring…” assists in developing your child’s auditory memory skills. These are crucial for recall of details for following instructions and other important tasks. On a daily basis, your child should be provided with instructions that should be followed. These can even be silly instructions for example, “Take the spoon and put it on your head and walk to the door.” You may take turns giving each other instructions. This also gives your child a chance to express themselves and verbalise steps to be followed. Try to lengthen the complexity of the instructions, for example, if your child is able to cope with 3 details in the instruction move to 4 details (e.g.. draw a red circle under the square) or 4 steps (e.g. colour the girl’s hair in brown, draw grey eyes and then give her a mouth and nose). Identification of common labels such as Coke, Mac Donald’s, Pick ’n Pay, is an early pre-reading skill. This teaches children that symbols are associated with a meaning. Reading is such an important part of your child’s learning, language and development. From infancy, your child will learn the vocabulary and language structures, as well as early pre-reading skills such as holding a book, turning pages and that reading occurs from left to right (in English). This is crucial for language development and later reading skills. Furthermore, the love of books and of reading is an immeasurable asset. Ultimately, it seems that we need to go back to our roots and learn to enjoy and apply some of the games of our youth and our parent’s youth. For more information and ideas on how to aid in your child’s development, look at the SkidZ Clever Activity Box program. It is filled with age appropriate activities for language and listening skills as well as other areas of development. The program provides an option of a daily curriculum which includes activities for everyday of the week. The SkidZ program is not only comprehensive but provides hours of fun for little ones. For more information on the SkidZ Clever Activity Boxes visit their website at www.skidz.co.za Written by: Jemma Roets – Speech- Language Therapist and Audiologist Jemma Roets qualified as a Speech-language therapist and Audiologist at the University of Pretoria in 2007. She later completed her Masters degree in Early Childhood Intervention, specialising in severe disabilities, in 2013, at the University of Pretoria.

August 31, 2017

Technology and Tots

Embracing technology is essential in this day and age, and I am certainly pro having kids learn to use technology in education. The question is “at what age should encourage our little ones to engage with screens?” Because babies engage very readily with screens, it can be tempting to rely on screen time as a convenient baby sitter, while you grab 5 minutes to yourself. However, the American Association of Paediatrics advises NO screen time in infants less than two years of age. Let’s look at the reasons for this advice and what we can do: Screen time is void of emotional engagement. TV’s and iPads are not a relationship. While your little one plays a game on your iPad or watches a program on TV, he is missing out on essential loving interactions at a time when his brain is wiring at a rate of a million connections a second. Choose that wiring opportunity carefully. Learning happens best in the context of love and time. Research has shown that babies learn best in the context of love and fun and laughter. This emotional connection is negated whist engaging with technology. Babies who watch videos in the first year, have fewer words at 18 months. Proceed with caution – your baby needs relationships to learn. The blue light emitted by screens has been shown to hamper sleep. Melatonin is our sleep hormone, controlling sleep/wake cycles. The blue light of a screen suppresses melatonin secretion, resulting in wakefulness. So for both you and your child (of any age), no screens for an hour before sleep times. What can you do: Model responsible screen behaviour – if you are on your device constantly, you are depriving your baby of engagement. In addition, your baby will think it’s the norm and expect that same standard for himself. No TV under 1 year of age. Between 2 and 5 years old let your baby watch content that makes sense to you – if there is no language and it makes no sense to you it’s worse. Watch and engage with screens WITH your toddler – talk through the show, explain the emotions – that way your baby learns through the experience. As a mom of three, I know that when life gets hectic and you actually just need 5 minutes to yourself it’s tempting to rely on an electronic babysitter. So my message is proceed with caution and insight and be a responsible parent in the technology age.

August 29, 2017

Crossing The Midline

There are many terms that teachers, psychologists and other professionals may use that, at times, are perhaps not explained effectively leaving parents at a loss to the significance of these difficulties. It is important to understand what the importance of these conditions are, (especially if they have been mentioned in your child’s school report) what they mean, and the possible consequences and repercussions thereof. The midline is akin to an imaginary line going down the middle of one’s body from head to toe. Midline crossing is important for many skills to develop later on. For example, midline crossing is important for a youngster to develop the ability to use one hand to write across the entire page. This will also determine whether the youngster will have the necessary skills to read the length of the sentence across the page from left to right A child who can’t cross the midline, for instance, would use his/her left hand to write or paint on the left-side of the page and his/her right hand to write or paint on the right-hand side of the page which can hamper the learning process. Crossing the midline is also an indicator of bilateral co-ordination which is the ability to use both sides of the body and brain simultaneously. This is important for gross motor skills such as climbing stairs, walking, riding a bicycle and swimming. In addition, bilateral co-ordination is also important to read, write and learn. In other words, the right and left brain have to work together, for example in reading the left brain’s task is to decode a word whilst the right brain facilitates the understanding and meaning of what was read. Midline crossing is therefore essential for a youngster to develop as it is a very necessary skill for learning in all areas of life.

August 28, 2017

Your Child’s Hearing

Hearing is an essential part of development as it enables babies to take in information about the world around them. It stimulates brain development and is critical for language development. For this reason, it is vital to identify and address hearing difficulties as early as possible. By the 16th week of pregnancy, the tiny bones in the baby’s ears begin to develop. By the 20th week of pregnancy, the baby begins to respond to sounds. Loud sounds may even make the baby startle or move about. By the 25th week of pregnancy, the auditory system becomes fully functional. At this point the baby is able to hear your voice when you are speaking or singing. Studies have shown that after birth, babies are able to recognize songs that were sung to them while in the womb. Unlike the visual system where actual visual experience begins after birth, the auditory system requires auditory experience with voice and language, music and meaningful environmental sounds during the last 10 to 12 weeks of fetal life. A child is born with a mind that is open and ready to receive information through all five senses. The more information the mind receives, the better the child is able to understand and participate in the world around them. All five senses are tools for learning and communicating. However, the sense of hearing is the most critical for speech and language development. It is difficult to define “normal” hearing development when speaking about human beings as each individual develops in their own way and at their own pace. However, over the years, several researchers have been able to compile a guideline for general milestones for hearing development: A Guideline for Hearing Developmental Milestones Birth At birth, babies are able to exhibit a startle reflex in response to sudden loud noises. This means that they will stiffen, quiver, blink, fan out their fingers and toes, or cry as a response. They are often sensitive to a wide range of sounds, including intonation and rhythmic cues. At birth, babies are able to recognize their mother’s voice and often prefer the sound of their mother’s voice. Sounds of different pitches have different effects on the infant. Low frequency sounds and rhythmic sounds have a calming effect. Higher frequency sounds result in a more violent reaction. You may note an increase or decrease in sucking in response to sound. Three Months At three months of age, babies are more aware of human speech and will begin to attend to voices. They will also start to show excitement for familiar sounds such as approaching footsteps, running bath water, etc. At this age, babies tend to awaken or quiet to the sound of their mother’s voice and will vocally respond to their mother’s voice. They begin to imitate noises as they hear them e.g. ooh, baba. Most importantly, at this stage, babies begin to localize sound by means of turning their eyes toward the general sound source. This is a great time to introduce sound-making toys; as they begin to enjoy such sounds and will listen to bells and other sound-making toys near them. Four Months By four months of age babies start localizing sound by turning their head toward the general source of sound and they will actively search for human voices. Five Months At 5 months of age, babies are able to localize sound more specifically. They distinguish between friendly and angry voices and react appropriately. They will stop crying or coo is response to music and become very interested in human voices. At this point, they are able to discriminate between sounds of strangers and familiar people. Six Months By 6 months of age, babies specifically locate sound from any direction, such as the bell that is rung out of sight (downward localization develops before upward localization). They will respond to human speech by smiling or vocalizing and will turn immediately to their mother’s voice across the room. They may show evidence of response to different emotional tones in their mother’s voice. Their association of hearing with sound production is now evident, in that they repeat selected sounds that they have heard. Eight Months At 8 months of age it is expected for the baby to turn his head and shoulders toward familiar sounds, even when he cannot see what is happening. They begin to understand sounds and words in context e.g. responding to a telephone ringing, a human voice, his own name, “no-no,” “bye-bye“. It is at this point that they begin to enjoy games like pat-a-cake and peek-a-boo. They may respond with raised arms when their mother says, “Come up” and reaches toward the child. One Year At one year of age it is expected that the child will babble in response to human voice. His sound imitations indicate that he can hear the sounds and match them with his own sound production. He will enjoy various sounds like jingles and rhymes and show interest in environmental sounds that may even be beyond his immediate surroundings. The child will respond to simple commands (at first, only when the command is accompanied by a gesture), such as giving a toy on request or going somewhere as directed. At this age, it is expected that the child understands an assortment of action words (verbs) such as “drink“, “go“, “come“, “give“, as well as some simple directions such as “wave bye bye.” No real understanding of questions is shown at this point. Two Years By two years of age several hearing and communication skills have developed: Shows interest in the sounds of radio or TV commercials. Listens to reason of language. Listens to simple stories. Responds to command, “Show me the —.” Understands and answers simple “wh” questions, e.g. “Where is your –?” Responds to yes/no questions by shaking or nodding head. Waits in response to “just a minute.” Identifies five body parts. Understands family names by selecting appropriate pictures. Understands the phrase, “have sweets after lunch” Carries out 4

August 24, 2017

Struggling with a teething baby?

It’s 3 ‘o clock in the morning and your baby just won’t settle down. She’s been crying non-stop for the last couple of hours and after checking that’s she’s dry, fed and not in any way uncomfortable, you still can’t figure out what’s wrong with her. Surely it can’t be that she’s teething? She’s still so tiny! But yes, it’s possible – teething can begin as early as three months and continue until a child’s third birthday. Between the ages of four and seven months, you’ll notice your baby’s first tooth pushing through the gum line. The first teeth to appear usually are the two bottom front teeth, also known as the central incisors. Four to eight weeks later the four front upper teeth (central and lateral incisors), appear and about a month later, the lower lateral incisors (the two teeth flanking the bottom front teeth) will appear. In some rare cases, babies are born with one or two teeth or have a tooth emerge within the first few weeks of life. Unless these teeth interfere with feeding or are loose enough (as they sometimes are) to pose a choking risk, this should not be cause for concern. As your baby begins teething, she might drool more and you’ll notice that she wants to chew on things. Fortunately for mom, some babies find teething completely painless and their teeth seem to suddenly appear out of nowhere! However, others may experience brief periods of irritability, and some may seem cranky for weeks, with bouts of “unexplained” crying and disrupted sleeping and eating patterns. And you guessed it – that’s when you find yourself at 3 o’clock in the morning trying to calm a crying baby! For the most part, teething can be uncomfortable, but if your baby seems very irritable, talk to your doctor. Although tender and swollen gums could cause your baby’s temperature to be a little higher than normal, teething doesn’t usually cause high fever or diarrhoea. If your baby does develop a fever during the teething phase, it’s probably due to something else and you should contact your doctor. It has been said that teething symptoms are signs of physical stress which can lower your baby’s resistance to infectious agents that under normal circumstances would not produce illness. The same germs that live in a baby’s intestines and cause no ill effects, at other times could produce ear-aches, congestion, or other low-grade infections when your baby is teething. As parents look more towards natural healing, we have found Baltic Amber, which is a fossilised resin, can provide relief. There are many gum soothing medications and remedies on the market and you should consult your pharmacist, local clinic or paediatrician to find a solution that best suits your baby’s needs. Stages of teething : 6 to 7 months – Incisors (situated 2 central bottom & 2 central top teeth) 7 to 9 months- Two more incisors (situated top & bottom; making four top & four bottom teeth in all) 10 to 14 months – First molars (double teeth for chewing) 15 to 18 months – Canines (pointed teeth or fangs) 2 to 3 years – Second molars (second set of double teeth at the back)

August 23, 2017

Mastering the Fear of the Toilet

Meet Felix, my three-year, nine-month-old son. He’s potty trained. You don’t know me, so you can have no idea how much of a big deal this is. Those of you with mothers-in-law who remind you that their offspring was fully toilet trained by 18 months of age, I want to tell you Felix has been toilet trained for exactly three weeks. We’re very proud. The toilet training drama process started last year. Like, 9 months ago… Summer, we were told, made a good time to potty train. Boys could wee in the garden while they learnt about bladder control and toilet technique. Felix’s friends at school enthusiastically demonstrated the technique to him. Felix remained unimpressed – and unwilling to whip out his manhood for all to see. In fact, he wouldn’t use the toilet at school at all. And when my little squirming, hopping, straining bundle of boy came home in the afternoons, he’d be so stressed from holding it in that I had to beg and cajole and force him onto the loo just to get him to wee there. The relief was instant, he’d go back to his old self, and we could all get on with the afternoon. And so began the Longest Toilet Training of All Time. Since about – what? September last year? – if anything stressed Felix out, he’d be back in nappies. He’d been dry at night for weeks and weeks, but allowed us to leave his nappy off overnight maybe twice. There was a time he got very stressed with a bit of a bullying situation at school – straight back into nappies for school too (which made the other kids call him a baby, which didn’t help…. ARGH!) He’d go to the loo with his dad, and then refuse. He’d enjoy, strangely enough, loos in public places (because he loved the hand driers). And then he wouldn’t. It was up and down like a playground seesaw. Then there was the unfortunate time where Felix had a bit of constipation, and the poo hurt on the way out. Next thing we knew, my previously very regular child was hopping around the house every afternoon, desperately sucking it up and trying to keep the poo in. His record was seven days faece-free. He would only “go” once I’d finally relented and put a nappy on him. I must have gone through five or more jumbo packs of nappies, every time thinking, “This is the last pack we’ll be buying, surely.” Felix undoubtedly had poo issues and I was getting increasingly stressed as to how we were going to resolve them. He wasn’t happy, we weren’t happy. I had no idea how common fears about toilet training are until I saw some moms on The Twitter talking about the issue. And our saviour stepped in: @EmyDiesel sent a tweet containing a link to an article I have long since lost. But it changed everything. The article quoted paediatrician Dr Alan Greene and started off by saying that no child WANTS to be unable to master his fear of the toilet. No child wants to be in nappies when his friends aren’t. He’s not doing this to punish you – he’s doing this because he’s stuck in a place and can’t get out of it. The 3Ds cycle starts when a child has a bout of constipation, or somehow has a sore poo: Discomfort. This makes him Dread the next poo, and therefore Delay it. Voila: you have a poo issue. Just seeing it in print was like a lightbulb moment for me. Dr Greene also had some good suggestions, such as first getting your child to poo, in the nappy, but in the bathroom. Then on the toilet (with nappy still on), then loosen nappy, etc. I had started giving Felix a probiotic every morning (seriously: (spoiler alert) Best. Tip. Ever. Do it right now!) I was about to start trying the Dr Greene advice when, on his own, Felix suddenly relinquished his poo issue. Once a day I made him go to the loo for his post-school wee, and while there, he announced, almost surprised himself: “I made a poo!” Well, the celebrations that went off in my house that afternoon, you might have thought it was New Year. I went dilly. I rewarded Felix something silly. Now Felix makes a poo almost every time he’s on the loo. I swear he grew a centimetre taller in a day. He carries himself with his old, usual comfort in himself and his body. He’s calmer, and happier at school. He finally negotiated that milestone, and he’s proud and relieved. Most unlike-Felix fashion, my shy boy told a handyman in my house ALL about the poo he’d just made. I am equally happy, and proud, and relieved. And also: poorer. Because Felix has cottoned on to the “rewards” issue very fast. Every pellet he produces is accompanied by the shout, “I made a poo! Can I have a new game on the iPad?”

August 21, 2017

Lower Your Standards

This evening my husband came home and said to me, “Your hair looks lovely!” and while I desperately tried to remember what I had done differently to it today, not sure if I had even looked in the mirror at all today, he continued with, “I like the Bornean thing you have going on.” And then I remembered. I did nothing to my hair today. The wild, curly “Bornean” look I was sporting was a result of me having to be in about six places at once this morning, while he obliviously fell out of bed and dashed out the door to work. I had to get four kids out of bed – two to their respective visual therapies, one to hockey and one dressed and ready for his mom to collect, looking mildly presentable so that she didn’t wonder if he’d slept, brushed his teeth or even had breakfast today. Did he have breakfast? I can’t say for sure… there was cereal… and there was milk and sugar on the counter… someone had breakfast. Sometimes people see me in the shop with my three kids and they make comments along the lines of, “Wow. Three boys! How do you do it?” Sometimes I think, “It’s a breeze”. And other times I honestly look at them in my zombified stupor and giggle hysterically, “Wow! This woman thinks I am actually doing it!” Three is not just one more than two. Exponentially, there are so many more dynamics in our family than other families have to contend with. We have a friend who is a bit of a mathematical freak, and he works out stuff like this. When they were calmly calculating the pros and cons of whether or not to increase their brood from two offspring to three, he actually worked it all out. I kid you not. (This is his formula: [n x (n – 1)] /2 ) And the dynamics you have to deal with, in terms of relationships alone, are quite something. And who knows what it is for four, five and six kid families! Each family has their own set of challenges, and I am not presuming to be special, nor make insignificant anyone else’s load. But generally, for all of us, I think we do all wonder how we do it. And I think I know the answer. We lower our standards. It simply is the only way to manage. If I continued to try have the neat and organised home I would like, and the ‘everything in its place’ at all times dream, I think I would simply go completely batsh!t crazy. It just doesn’t happen. And it’s not because I am lazy. It’s because I just can’t find it in me every day to be that much of a stringent drill sergeant. This is my formula: Kids are messy + Life is busy + Time is precious = Lower your standards. I am past worrying about the state of my house when people simply pop in. If we have three sets of school books and homework all over the table, then so be it. Or if we have been baking, (you know, on those days when I wake up with a Gandhi-like patience to have three boys in the kitchen at once) and there is flour all over, then that is just how that is that day. Or if we decide to lie on the grass and come up with cloud animals and pictures, and the beds don’t get made or the dishes just pile up, then that is what the plan for that day is. We are making memories. And memories can be messy. So I’ve lowered my standards. It took a good few years of me feeling like a lousy everything (mother, business person, housekeeper, wife) but I have finally accepted that my house will one day be beautifully pristine, but ghostly quiet, and then I am sure I will miss the mess and noise. For now, it is noisy and messy and a bit disorganized, but it is how it is. So if you visit on one of those days, I am unapologetically going to admit to you that I have lowered my standards, to have more time with my kids, to have more memories in their stores, and quite frankly, to just keep myself sane. Lowering my standards was very difficult at first, but now that I have my head around it, I feel quite liberated. I am not so stressed about how I look on days when the Bornean hairdo has to suffice. I am not overly anxious about how my house looks, if everything is not exactly in its place or the beds aren’t made with army precision. I have lowered my standards to a point that doesn’t make me completely frazzled, but that also allows me to enjoy being mom. And a happy mom, means more emotional space to be able to cope with the demands of this crazy, busy, messy life. So join the movement folks. Lower your standards and expectations. Unless you are Martha Stewart donning a SuperParent cape… it’s ok to have off days and messy days, and to once in a while not be perfect. Cut yourselves some slack – we are all doing the best we can and that is enough. I’m off to look in the mirror and see if this Bornean look actually works for me, because who knows, tomorrow I may need to wear it again.

July 24, 2017

Do you hate bedtime?

A correct bedtime routine can really help your child transition to sleep As a parent, I am sure you have often read about the importance of a bedtime routine. This newsletter attempts to provide a few “bedtime routine secrets”. The most important thing to remember with your child’s bedtime routine is that it really is the start of sleep. Recently, there has been hype in the media about how sleep is a time for our brains to get rid of toxins. So what happens at bedtime? The wonderful thing about bedtime is that it helps our children transition into the “wonderful slumber of sleep”. Have you watched the inspiring TED video about how important sleep is? Watch it now; you will never think the same about sleep again. Why is bedtime routine important? Bedtime routines cue our children’s brains to prepare them for sleep. Children thrive on predictability, consistency and routine. Keep it simple, predictable and the same every night. My top tips for a bedtime routine: Keep it short – no longer than 30 minutes. If you have a child older than 6 months, feed him prior bath time. A bath is the best start to your bedtime routine. For a toddler, set an egg timer for 30 minutes before bedtime to get him used to the idea that sleep is soon to follow. No IPads/TV/computers for at least two hours before bedtime. Rather invest in some quality family time. Keep bedtime early. Typically, after 8pm it should only be mom and dad left in the living room. (I recently commented on a very good article featured in the Baba and Kleuter Magazine’s September edition about early bedtimes). What about older children? Remember that children (until they reach puberty) need to sleep for a solid 11 or 12 hours at night. Therefore, an early bedtime for the whole family is a good idea. In addition, you and your partner will still have a few hours left in the evening to enjoy quality time with each other.

July 15, 2017

Why the is stimulation of little babies so important?

When it comes to stimulation in babies, there seems to be two camps: On the one side we have people who don’t see the need for it and say, “What can a baby do in anyway? They are still so tiny and dependant” or “There is no need to stimulate and teach children before the age of 3.” And then we have the other side, who mostly work with children, who say that it is extremely important to stimulate and teach a child form as early as possible. Starting with baby massage.” So what does the research show? Research indicates that children learn best in an environment which allows them to explore, discover and play. It is also closely tied to the development of cognitive, socio-emotional and physical behaviours. The problem, especially for first time parents, is that the amount of information and research is overwhelming and parents often don’t know where to begin. Add time constraints to this and parents find themselves spending more time researching what to do to aid in their child’s development, than actually playing and bonding with their children. Why is stimulation little babies so important? Recent brain research has found that an infant’s environment dramatically affects brain-building and healthy development. This early stage of brain development results in how and how well one thinks and learns both as children and as adults. You might have heard the expression that children have sponges for brains as they soak everything in. This is because of a biological need and desire to learn. During the first years of a baby’s life, the brain is building the wiring system. Stimulation and activity in the brain creates these connections called synapses. The amount of stimulation received directly affects how many synapses are formed and so repetitive and consistent stimulation strengthens these connections and makes them permanent. Researchers have discovered that the foundational networking of a brain’s synapses is nearly complete by 3 years of age. This shows us that we as parents and caregivers have an important job to assist in building the brain especially in the first 3 years of a child’s life. The SkidZ program focuses on one-on-one stimulation. Infants have a natural and definite preference for the human face, voice, touch and smell, above everything else and so an infant’s best toy is you, the parent or caregiver. Children learn through play and we encourage them to explore and discover, using you as their caregiver and items provided in the SkidZ Clever Activity Boxes. We as parents easily fall into the trap of constantly buying new toys, which they get bored of quickly, when research clearly shows that toys are not their first preference. Playing with a caregiver is. This starts as early as birth with baby massage. SkidZ provides you as a parent or caregiver with an easy to follow manual, filled with age appropriate stimulating activities, to help develop your child’s brain and to aid in them reaching their developmental milestones. It has been developed by four experts in Early Childhood Development, making sure that all developmental milestones are covered. We have done all the work for you, covering what to do and why, and have provided you with the information, so that all your available time can be spent with your child. What do these babies do? Well, we start with baby massage which wakes up the brain and builds brain connections regarding body awareness. As they grow older we help strengthen core muscles and encourage exploration. And so the program covers all the basics such as gross and fine motor skills, auditory, speech, language and cognitive development etc. It even teaches children some independence.

July 15, 2017

How early learning builds a child’s other abilities

We often read articles and speak to Early Childhood Development experts such as Paediatricians and Occupational Therapists, who assess a child’s progress based on developmental milestones. Being a part of many mommy groups, I often find some moms who say that this focus on milestones is misguided. The problem is that many don’t really understand why looking at milestones as a guideline is important. Some even say things like “My child didn’t crawl and she is fine”, but what measures as fine? I’m not talking about major problems or delays in development, but things that we only see later in life. It is also important to note that these developmental skills that are learnt and developed through exploration and play, is the foundation of other skills used later in life. Investing in the development of your child especially in the first few years cannot be emphasised enough. The easiest way to explore this would be through examples, so here goes. When a baby is born, he can’t see or hear very well and his sensations are far from perfect. When looking at visual stimulation babies need to be exposed to high contrast colours and patterns. In the earliest months a baby lays down the main ‘visual pathways’ of his brain. The cortex of his brain has 6 layers of cell which transmit different signals from the retina in the eyes to the back of the brain. On layer for example transmits vertical lines, another horizontal. Others will deal with circles, triangle and squares. If, for example, a baby would only see horizontal lines, then when he crawled or walked he would continually be banging into the legs of tables and chairs because the visual pathways which where laid earlier could not process vertical lines. Here are some more examples of how what a child physically does in the first few years of life plays a major part in how well he will develop other abilities. The Brainstem: Controls the flow of messages between the brain and the rest of the body. Activity learnt: Grasping Touching Crawling Walking Reaching Turning Pushing Pulling. These activities lead to: Hand-eye coordination Gross motor skills Prewriting ability The Cerebellum: Coordinates voluntary movements such as posture, balance, coordination, and speech, resulting in smooth and balanced muscular activity. Activity learnt: Spinning Tumbling Balancing Dancing Listening Swinging Rolling These activities lead to: Balance Sporting ability Bicycle riding Writing skills Fine motor coordination Reading skills. The Emotional brain (amygdala and temporal lobe): Emotions, like fear and love as well as brain functions, like memory and attention. Activity learnt: Cuddling Stroking Playing together These activities lead to: Love Security Bonding Social skills Cooperation Confidence The cortex: Associated with higher brain function such as thought and action Activity learnt: Stacking toys Building puzzles Recognising and making patterns Playing word games Repetitive play and music These activities lead to: Math Logic Problem solving Fluent reading Spelling Writing A good vocabulary Painting Memory Musical ability Another point to consider is that for a child learns from concrete and active experiences. To understand an abstract concept he would first have to understand the physical concept. For instance, to understand the abstract concept of roundness, he must first have experienced real round things like a ball. There are endless examples that could be explored but the conclusion is the same. Experiences and active play to reach milestones are extremely important for future successes. SKidz gives you as a parent the tools to stimulate and play with your child, which encourages not only his physical ability, but also sets a firm foundation for healthy relationships, where he feels loved and secure. The program has been developed by 4 experts in early childhood development and is divided into 5 boxes so that you only need to buy the appropriate one at a time. Each box comes with all the equipment needed to do the activities as well as a step by step manual, with easy to follow instructions as well as developmental information, so that you know what areas you are developing through that activity. The range is divided into the following ages 0-6 months, 6-12 months, 12-18 months, 18-24 months and 2-5 years. More info on this wonderful product can be found on the website http://skidz.co.za. All orders are also placed from the online shop on the website. For some up to date news, articles and specials follow SKidz on facebook at www.facebook.com/skidzsa.

July 14, 2017

What is sensory integration?

Sensory registration Our senses gather information from our surroundings, this is called sensory registration. This information is registered through our senses that include seeing, touching, hearing, smelling, tasting, proprioception and our vestibular system. Sensory discrimination This term is used to describe the awareness of the temporal and spatial characteristics of the sensory input we gather from our environment including the qualities, similarities and differences amongst these sensations. Sensory discrimination dysfunction is defined by Van Jaarsveld (van Jaarsveld, 2011, p. 10) as difficulties with knowing the qualities of the sensory experiences within the sensory system thus not providing the child with the necessary information. Thus when a child has a sensory discrimination disorder they need extra time to process sensory input they get from their environment according to (Miller, 2006, p. 37). Sensory modulation Smith Roley (Smith Roley, 2001, p. 57)called sensory modulation the physiological and behavioural responses to sensory input we receive. After registration and discrimination the sensory information is then sent to the brain. The brain is alerted (sensory arousal occurs) to the new sensory input if it is meaningful. We inhibit input that isn’t relevant – habituation occurs. The intensity and length of the response may be determined through memory due to previous exposure . A child that has a sensory modulation disorder may over-respond, under respond or exhibit sensory seeking behaviour on the sensory input from their environment, thus their arousal level will not be appropriate to the situation. We need just the right amount of arousal to function optimally in our daily roles e.g. school, social interaction, play, etc. Lombard (Lombard, 2007, p. 123) mentioned that the brain goes through 4 stages: Optimal functional state – I am o.k 2nd functional state – I am stressed 3rd functional state – I am overloaded Nil functional state – I am out of control We move through these stages throughout the day, depending on the environmental impact. Please see the following graph to understand the relationship between under-responsiveness, over-responsiveness, sensory-seeking behaviour and sensory-avoiding behaviour that can occur when a modulation difficulty is present. Miller (Miller, 2006, p. 28) stated that a degree of sensory seeking is normal in children while they learn and grow. www.classes.kumc.edu So why is sensory integration needed for learning? During the upcoming months we will have a look at each one of these senses separately to increase your understanding of sensory integration and possible dysfunction of each system. References Sensory Systems that Make up the Learning Hierarchy of a Strong Academic Foundation

July 10, 2017

10 reasons why you should use a Childcare recruitment agency

I have been placing staff in homes to take care of children for 11 years now. I am often asked by new parents why they should make use of an agency as opposed to sourcing someone on their own. Of course it is a lot cheaper to get someone out of the local newspaper, a referral from a friend, your local community centre or church and while you do hear success stories of these searches you also hear about a lot of frustrations and difficult situations that parents found themselves in. You are paying an agency to provide you with a service and while you may not have walked into a store and bought an item and taken it home, you have made a very important decision on a person who you will be entrusting with your most precious being, your child. She will be responsible for the daily care and well being of your child and you want to know that when you leave home in the morning you do it with a feeling of “ I have made the right decision for both my child and myself “. The agency’s expertise come into play with being able to wade through the candidates and identify the experienced, honest and reliable from the influx of job seekers that try anything to secure a position. Some pointers as to why you are paying an agency: Saving time Everybody has a full time job now days, with both mom and dad working. When you get home the last thing you want to do is sit and read through streams of names in the the local paper and then start calling them. It is a lot easier to submit an application form to an agency with your requirements and have them send you only three of the best candidates suited to your requirements and even if you interview all three it will only take up 2 – 3 hours of your time and they should have all been valuable candidate You don’t know exactly what you are looking for Often moms will phone me and say that they know they need someone to take care of their children but they don’t quite know what they want. It is up to the agency to then try and find out the family dynamics and make suggestions on what type of candidate they think will work best. Sometimes the agency will have to send one or two different types of candidates in order for the parents to interview and get a better feel. Only then are they able to identify exactly what their needs are. Pre – screened candidates All the candidates that you receive from an agency should already be screened. So they should have been interviewed in person, the agency will have confirmed that they are literate, they will have a copy of their ID, passport or asylum, work permit, they will send you an up to date cv with all information on it including salaries, ages of children, job description etc, copies of certificates , references will be produced. By doing this you will be receiving candidates that are suitable for the job that you have a vacancy for. You want a candidate that is trained properly While childminding and aupairing in South Africa do not require any formal qualifications, there are many courses that can be taken to train these candidates and better equip them with the necessary skills to perform their job to the best of their ability. An agency will have the knowledge and understanding of which courses are best suited for which position and many agencies now offer their own courses. This makes it a lot better for the clients as they now have piece of mind knowing that the candidate has been through a course at that particular company and they can question the company on what the course material involves. Advice on market related salaries The agency will be able to give an honest opinion on the market related salaries. Over and above the minimum wage set by the government they will be able to recommend a salary based on a candidates experience and qualifications and also suggest to a family what they should offer when they know what the working hours and the job description will be. A good agency should not over price a candidate in order to increase their commission as this is just unfair to the candidate who in the long run will suffer when she has to move on to a new family. Interviews The agency is responsible for setting up the interviews once the client has confirmed a date, time and venue. The agency must confirm with the candidate and make sure that she understands the location and time. The agency must then let the client know that everything is confirmed. After the interview the agency must follow up with both the client and the candidate to get feedback. One should never assume that because the candidate is looking for work she will just accept the position, it is very important to see if she was happy with everything that was discussed and if the distance she would travel is fine etc. The agency must try and prevent any issues from arising should the candidate be offered the job. Negotiations Money is never an easy topic, and while people are desperate for work they don’t want to be taken advantage of and at the same time parents don’t want to feel like they are under paying someone because they know they are looking after their children. The agency should be left to do the negotiating of salary always as both parties are a lot more honest and straight forward when a third party is involved. I always ask the candidate to tell me how much their transport cost for example so that we can see what they would be earning daily. Often the agency has to go up and down

July 7, 2017

Crèche Syndrome

Parents whose children attend crèche or playgroups are very often faced with crèche syndrome. Crèche syndrome is not a condition you will read about in medical textbooks or medical research journals and literature. Yet crèche syndrome is probably the most common chronic condition seen by paediatricians in private practice. CRECHE SYNDROME – THE FACTS Crèche syndrome refers to a phenomenon whereby young children come down with repeated episodes of infections that includes an ongoing cycle of colds, sniffles, excessive upper respiratory snottiness, wet coughs and in more serious cases lead to secondary ear infections, sinusitis, tonsillitis, bronchitis and even pneumonia. Young children are very easily infected at a crèche or playgroup where they come into contact with other children on a daily basis. In a crèche environment, children engage with each other for several hours at time, in a very close proximity, and this exposes young children to whatever infections are doing the rounds. In winter time the children spend most of their time indoors, which is a breeding ground for illness. Vulnerable age group Babies and young children (under the age of 2 years) are most vulnerable to crèche syndrome. Their immune systems is immature and still developing, which mean they are more susceptible to viruses at a young age leading to frequent and more severe infections. The vicious cycle… It is all about continuous virus load – one after another – that wears down the children’s health. However, even though children need to build antibodies against various germs and infections, crèche syndrome doesn’t build enough resistance because of the unrelenting cycle of illness. By the time the virus has infected the first child and travelled through another 10 children at crèche, it reinfects the original child because its form has changed (mutated). After repeated infections a child’s immune system become compromised. Subsequently, these children can get as many as 10 upper airway infections per year. During each episode they could have 10-20 days of a runny nose and a cough as well as fever for the first 3 days (72hours). The result Crèche syndrome is exhausting! It involves a never-ending rollercoaster ride of illness, doctor visits, medication, time off work and very little sleep. The good news Crèche syndrome does not last forever. A young child’s immune system strengthens and becomes better at identifying and dealing with viruses. After the first two to three years you will notice that infections become fewer and often less severe. CRECHE SYNDROME AND ANTIBIOTICS Antibiotics are often prescribed too frequently to treat crèche syndrome and without justification. Antibiotics are rarely the solution because most infections are viral, for which they do not work. They will however kill good bacteria in our body. This disrupts the balance of bacteria present in the digestive system and in so doing compromise the immune system making the child even more susceptible to infections. This becomes a vicious cycle. Recurrent use of antibiotics may also have a negative impact on long-term health. According to research, children exposed to oral antibiotics repeatedly as a baby or young child are more likely to develop allergic disease (eczema, asthma, allergic rhinitis), food allergies, irritable bowel syndrome, inflammatory bowel disease i.e. crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis (IBD) as well as coeliac disease. The wrong use of antibiotics may lead to the development of antibiotic resistance which is of increasing concern. When it really becomes mandatory to use antibiotics, the may not be able to eradicate the offending bacteria. LITTLE BODIES NEED BIG SUPPORT The treatment of crèche syndrome is usually symptomatic and seldom addresses the cause – the underdeveloped immune system. Therefore, the best way to deal with crèche syndrome is to help support and strengthen the immune system to fight infections and thereby prevent the cycle of the condition. Fight it with food Good nutrition is essential in fighting crèche syndrome. It is very important to provide the essential vitamins and minerals much needed by the immune system but also to prevent nutrient deficiencies. The problem is that many toddlers are fussy eaters and parents fall into the trap of feeding them something they know they’ll eat. Often processed meals e.g. pizza or 2-minute noodles instead of nutritious food. This means they miss out on very important nutrients and their immune systems as well as gut become impaired so they catch colds frequently. This can spiral into a vicious cycle of eating less and catching more infections. After repeated bouts of illness many children often battle to catch up the weight they lost making them even more susceptible. Missing immune supportive nutrients Nutrient deficiencies is a well-known cause of immune system malfunction and young children are very often deficient in immune supportive nutrients. An underlying iron, zinc or vitamin D deficiency are often present and can affect the immune system dramatically and increases a child’s vulnerability to an infection. If a child presents with recurring infections it is of value to have blood tests done to establish if there is any underlying nutrient deficiency present. These deficiencies can be easily corrected by means of supplementation. IMMUNE BOOSTING SUPPLEMENTATION Multi-vitamin If a child is a picky eater, multivitamin supplementation should be considered to help support the immune system. Daily supplementation ensure that the body is getting all of the building blocks for a healthy immune system. Look for a high quality broad spectrum multivitamin with vitamins A, B, C, D, E, and B12, zinc, selenium and magnesium. There are so many supplements available on the market that it can be confusing which to use. Paarl Dietitians would be able to advise you on the most appropriate supplement. I usually suggest that children should rather drink a no.3 formula up to 3 years of age rather than cow’s milk that does not supply all the required nutrients for brain development and building a strong immune system. Important – Do not exceed 500ml of milk a day to reduce the risk of an iron deficiency. Probiotics Probiotics seem to be the new

July 7, 2017

Why sleep is important?

Every function in the body is affected by sleep. And for a child, the risks of sleep deprivation are much more serious than simply waking up in a grumpy mood. Research shows that children with sleep disturbances have more medical problems – such as allergies, ear infections, and hearing problems. They are also more likely to have social and emotional problems. Sleep is as important as nutrition and exercise. It’s when the body repackages neurotransmitters, chemicals that enable brain cells to communicate. 1. Sleep promotes growth – Growth hormone is primarily secreted during deep sleep. 2. Sleep helps the heart. 3. Sleep affects weight – There’s increasing evidence that getting too little sleep causes kids to become overweight, starting in infancy. 4. Sleep helps beat germs – During sleep, children (and adults) also produce proteins known as cytokines, which the body relies on to fight infection, illness, and stress. 5. Sleep reduces injury risk – Kids are clumsier and more impulsive when they don’t get enough sleep, setting them up for accidents. 6. Sleep increases kids’ attention span – Children who consistently sleep fewer than ten hours a night before age 3 are three times more likely to have hyperactivity and impulsivity problems by age 6. 7. Sleep boosts learning – Sleep aids learning in kids of all ages, and education experts are finding that naps have a particular magic. The simple fact is that kids sleep less today than they used to. And unless we make an effort to get that sleep time back, their health will suffer.

June 9, 2017

How to Avoid Toddler Tantrums

You’ve all seen other toddlers performing, screaming, lying on the floor and causing a scene in the shop or restaurant. You used to shake your head and wonder why the parents couldn’t control their child. Now, you are the parent and when your toddler is performing you either want to walk away, pretend you don’t know them or grab them and run out of the establishment. There are normally reasons for the meltdown so be prepared and plan your trips. Try and prevent the temper tantrum from happening by being aware and taking note of the following: Keep them updated.Tell your toddlers your plans and the activities for the day so that they can be prepared and now what to expect. By doing this, they will not be surprised and stressed in an unknown and new environment. Also, why shouldn’t they know and be aware of the plans for the day! Food glorious food. We all know that hungry toddlers are impatient and unpredictable. Either feed them before you go out or always carry around healthy snack options with you. Snacks will keep your toddler busy and also tide them over until the next meal. Take snacks that are easy to clean up if spilled as this will probably be inevitable. Peanuts and raisins or small pieces of fresh or dried fruit are a good idea. Tired toddlers.Life is busy and it is often very stimulating when you go out. Try and plan ahead so when you do go out the toddler is well rested. If you do need to go out at other times, let them sleep in the car on the way or make the visit short and not too busy. Rewards and Incentives.If you have a tricky toddler then let them know that after the event, if they behave, you can do something fun with them or they can have a treat. This does not have to involve screen time or sweets but could be something simple like a bike ride or a visit to the park. The anticipation will hopefully give them the motivation to see them through the visit or trip. Toddlers get bored easily so keep things for them to do in the car and in your bag as distractions. These could be toys, books or in the car, C.D.’s with stories or music to sing along to. Hopefully these suggestions will help and prevent the toddler tantrum and make the experience an enjoyable one for all. If not, then don’t forget to breathe, stay calm and know that this stage will pass and make way for the next.

June 9, 2017

Potty Talk…

Potty training isn’t the easiest thing to do, but for the most part it runs fairly smoothly – a couple of accidents here and there, a bit of frustration, many hours of potty entertainment, and eventual mastery. But what happens when you seem to have got it all down and suddenly your 3 year old is afraid to make a poo? Before you go rushing off to play therapy, there are a couple of things you can consider… If your child is under 4 years old, this behaviour is not out of the normal age range, but if your child was doing really well with toilet training up until this point and then suddenly regressed then it may be something that needs addressing. Firstly, make sure your child is not constipated. The majority of issues come about because of constipation, which then makes it uncomfortable or even painful to pass a stool. Make sure your child drinks lots of water (they sometimes forget when they’re having too much fun), gets enough fruit and veg every day, and maybe even add some prunes or something similar to her diet for a while. Try cutting out constipating foods like bread, pap, red meats, bananas and sugar. Constipation can also be the result of being afraid to go to the loo, where kids hold it in for long periods of time. Compacted faeces can cause greater issues, so if you suspect this, follow the guidelines above and consider seeing your family practitioner. Sometimes potty issues can come about due to strong emotional experiences at the time of potty training. Ask yourself if any major changes have happened at the same time – a parent going away, divorce, death in the family, arrival of a new sibling, even going on holiday can be stressful for some kids. If there is an emotional connection, speak to your child about this, address her fears, lay off the pressure on potty training for a while, and consider doing some relaxation exercises with your child. The next question to ask is if there are any benefits for your child for soiling her pants. Does she get additional attention (even negative) or anything like that? If there are some hidden benefits to it, you’ll need to address those in more positive ways first. You also need to look at how potty training is handled at school. It is worth digging in to this a bit, as the school may tell you that accidents and messes are handled well, but in my experience this is not always the case. Address whether it is possible that there was some shaming or embarrassment that has happened to your child, or even one of the other children at school. You need to reassure your child that everyone messes sometimes (even adults) and it is not a big deal. I would never offer rewards for going to the toilet – this may add additional stress. Your child may be genuinely unable to consciously control it. Also, never shame your child for soiling their pants. Make sure she knows that you are not cross or upset by it. The less emphasis you put on it the better. Explain that you know she is doing her best and that you are there if she needs to talk to you about anything that is worrying her. And then leave it. Don’t push for information, just be present. When your child does soil her pants, don’t make a big deal out of it. Explain that all kids do that sometimes and it is really ok (if you have a story about yourself doing it as a child then it is worth relating that). Show your child how to deal with it so that if she wants to she can clean it up herself (give her some power back in her life) – show her how to empty it into the loo, and to rinse her panties in the sink and how to put them in the wash, or however you handle it. She probably won’t do a very good job about it, but praise her for her efforts. Again, don’t force her – only if she wants to be involved. You could also offer her the option of wearing a nappy for a while until she feels ok to go to the loo again – be careful how you handle this though – she mustn’t feel like she’s regressing or that it is a punishment. Point out other kids her age still wearing nappies and explain that it is normal at her age to still have accidents. Maybe she won’t want to do this at school but may be ok to wear one at home, or even just when she feels she needs to poo. Also, make going to the toilet as natural as possible. Let her come to the bathroom with you when you go and be chatty about making a poo and how good it feels etc. You may also look for books at the library or online that can help you to address the subject with her in a fun way. Here are some you can check out: It Hurts When I Poop! a Story for Children Who Are Scared to Use the Potty Where’s the Poop? I Can’t, I Won’t, No Way!: A Book For Children Who Refuse to Poop “Bloop, Bloop!” Goes the Poop Try taking this relaxed, no big deal approach and see how she does. Be patient with her. If she did have someone shout at her at school or is feeling stressed because of it, it may take her some time to reestablish trust with the toilet! Give it a try and if you still don’t come right then consider taking your child to see a play therapist or someone with experience in dealing with these issues. Good luck!

May 29, 2017

Top 10 Fun Outdoor Games and Activities for Kids

A happy kid makes a happy parent. And what a better way to make your kids happy than by letting them engage in some outdoor activity? There are endless activities that your kid can engage in. However, some of them tend to do more harm than good. It’s wise to choose an activity that matches your child’s age and physical abilities. This will ensure that your kid gets the most from it. So what are some of the best outdoor games and activities your child can participate in? Below we look at 10 recommendations that might work with your child. 1. Camping You know what; your kid is not too young for camping. This outdoor activity teaches your kid a thing or twoabout survival and other responsibilities that prepare them for adulthood. You can choose to camp together so that your kid doesn’t feel left out. However, your kid can do it solo in case the camping ground is within the home. In this case, you’ll need to have some good monitoring to guarantee the safety of your child. 2. Stargazing Most kids have a love for shiny things and it’s even more amazing when you give them the chance to explore lots of the shiny things. These are none other than the stars, something that won’t cost you even a penny. Just go out on a cloudless night and let your kid appreciate what the heavens have to offer. In case your kid seems to take more interest in it, then it’s time that you take it to the next level. You can purchase a kids’ telescope and download a star map to make the stargazing activity more engaging. 3. Hiking Not all of us are lucky to live in areas where mountains are within easy reach. But that doesn’t mean that your kid can’t benefit from taking a hike. It doesn’t have to be a mountain; a small hill might just suffice. Hiking works to develop your kid’s strength and endurance. And it’s, even more, fun when you do it together. Just ensure to take some rest in between the hike so that it does more good than harm. 4. Riding balance bike Riding is one outdoor activity that many kids just can’t resist. However, to get the most out of it, your kid has to start small. Forget about training wheels and instead get your kid a balance bike. The good thing about this outdoor activity is that it requires close monitoring from the parent, hence a strong bond between parent and child. To add more fun, you need to ensure that you choose the right balance bike for your kid; one that’s got a perfect balance of comfort and safety. This outdoor activity can be done just at the comfort of your home. 5. Flying kites Seeing a kite soaring up high in the skies is one thing that your kid just can’t resist. Though there are some kites available for purchase, it would be more fun in case you and your child make one for yourself. The right moment for this activity is when there’s a gentle wind blowing. However, you have the chance to do it on a calm day. What you need is just tie the end of the string on your child’s balance bike and off you go. 6. Gardening We live, eat and walk nature. Therefore you need to give your kid a chance to add something to mother nature. And there’s no better way of doing that than by showing your child some gardening skills. You can start small by letting your kid water the plants after which you can teach on garden maintenance. Let your kid plant something and see it grow by the day. It’s something that will literally make your child want to do more. 7. Riding electric car There are many ways through which your kid can get that wonderful ride. But many require some effort from both the parent and child. Electric carseliminate all the hassles of pushing and pulling. They provide a more leisure ride and come with a remote control operated by the parent for maximum safety. Some of these cars can fit more than one child, something that makes them a valuable purchase. You can choose to do it at home or go a little adventurous by letting your kid take a ride in the neighborhood. 8. Fishing Fish is among the most popular delicacies. But why let your child eat without knowing how to fish for some? Take a tour of that stream in your neighborhood and locate some hot spots where your child will have a high chance of making a catch. Fishing at a pond might seem more effective. However, making a catch in moving water proves to be more fun. Use fishing lines instead of fishing nets to make it a little bit of a challenge. Get two lines so you can fish together. 9. Landscaping A well-trimmed lawn or hedge makes any home stand out. Why not let your kid give you a hand in letting you achieve that? Go ahead and teach your child some landscaping skills. For the safety of your child, you can start out with those toy-like landscaping tools. Once your kid gets a grasp of the tools, you can upgrade to the real landscaping tools. This is an activity that teaches your kid some home maintenance skills. 10. Limbo The game of limbo is among the most loved athletic endeavors that give your child an opportunity to have some fun and test their flexibility and balance. This activity doesn’t have to cost you that much. All you need is just some upbeat music and a pole. It’s, even more, fun when two adults participate in the game. This means that both parents need to be involved. Conclusion These are some of the best outdoor activities that your kid can engage in. Apart from letting them have some fun, some of these

May 26, 2017

Toddler Food Battles

Solving a complex problem at work, finally achieving a personal goal is nothing compared to your child finishing a whole plate of food. Isn’t it amazing that no matter how big your accomplishments in your day, NOTHING, absolutely nothing compares to the satisfaction you get watching your toddler successfully finish a meal. You can sleep peacefully know your baby has eaten ‘well’! Having a fussy eater is more common than you may think. While some babies eat almost anything they can get their little hands on, other babies are a lot pickier. Some fussy eaters are simply trying to express their independence with a say in what, when, where and how they eat. Others just need some coaxing, distraction and gentle encouragement. Perhaps your family dinner table has become a battleground? Then it is time to take the stress out of mealtimes with your toddler and child, end the arguments over food, and feed your fussy eaters. There is nothing like a food battle to cause stress and anxiety in parents – take heart and remember fussy eating isn’t just common, it’s normal! Understanding your child A classic time for problems to arise is when your baby is 12 months old. As a child is more aware of the world his natural instincts make him more suspicious of new foods. Nature’s way of protecting us from eating food that is potentially harmful. If you’re one of the lucky parents that sailed through weaning, another common time for problems to arise is during the challenging 2’s. Having lulled you into a false sense of security, your toddler could wake one morning with dietary requirements that even a top chef would struggle to meet. Children’s appetites are affected by growth cycles and they have different taste preferences to adults. You will encourage her appetite to work properly if you give her more when she’s hungry and let her eat less when she’s not interested. Growth slows down and appetites fluctuate between one and five years of age. Studies have shown that most children get plenty to eat even if it seems like they are barely eating at all. Try looking at mealtimes from a child’s perspective. Toddlers have a different agenda: from their point of view, eating is a waste of their playing time, and if we make mealtimes boring by nagging, it’s even worse. Here are some tips to help your little fussy eater learn to eat better, while giving you some peace of mind. 1. Put your mind at rest: If you are concerned about the health of your child, take her for a check up at the doctor to rule out any potential health problems. Keep a food diary for 2 weeks and record EVERYTHING that she eats and drinks (include quantities). You can then get this assessed by a health professional to assess adequate nutritional intake. Give an appropriate vitamin & mineral supplement during the fussy eating phase. 2. Stay off the battle field: Remember picky eating can also be a child’s way of asserting his independence and may have less to do with the actual food than his need to push the limits of your authority and assert some control over his life. This is why pressurizing a child to eat often back fires and you become a ‘casualty of war’. 3. Wean at the appropriate age Weaning late has shown some link to fussing eating. Parents who delay introducing their babies to chewy food and a variety of tastes could find their babies grow up developing food fads. A recent study showed that babies should be introduced to a more varied diet between the ages of 6 to 9 months to decrease the risk of becoming fussy eaters. Babies learning to eat will spit food out, and this is more than likely due to a ‘tongue-reflex’ action than a sign that your baby doesn’t like the food. Keep trying with that food and soon he will get used to it and swallow. 4. Fun food presentation Sandwiches cut into moon shapes, cracker with a smiley face, carrot sticks as soldiers and apple boats can make food presentation more enticing Presenting meals as a smorgasbord from which they can pick and choose from a variety of colours, shapes and textures. Toddlers and young children prefer foods that are identifiable and not one big mush. Using a compartmentalized plate that prevents different foods from touching is a great help. 5. Make mealtimes fun and relaxed Use it as an extension of playtime and time when you and your baby can bond uninterrupted (no cell phone calls or sms’s !!!). Do puzzles, read a book, tell a story. 6. Educate Talk about the food and its value in simple terms. E.g. this piece of chicken will help your muscles grow strong like daddy (or superman!!) and this carrot will give you beautiful eyes like Cinderella! 7. Involve your child in food preparation By involving your child they will be likely to eat what THEY have made and may eat a bit while preparing their meal. 8. Empower your child in decision making Allow your toddler to choose between two food options. Children are more likely to eat food they have chosen for themselves. 9. Serve simple, easy to prepare meals. There is nothing more demoralizing than spending ages cooking a gourmet meal for your baby, who after the first spoonful turns her head away. Prepare easy meals that you know your child likes and should they refuse the food, offer one alternative that is a sure win e.g. Yogurt. 10. Milk intake By the age of one, babies need drink only 500ml of milk daily. Most babies can go onto cow’s milk from one years of age unless health reasons dictate otherwise. Do not substitute milk for meals 11. Social eating People are social beings as are our children. Nothing makes a toddler want his food more than having another toddler after his food. Invite a friend over

May 26, 2017

Help Your Child to Read

Helping your child learn to read and to love reading is probably the greatest gift you can give them. Reading opens a whole world of communication, learning and imagination. So, when you help your child learn to read, you open up the whole universe for them. Reading is not centred in just one part of the brain and that’s one of the main reasons that it can be so difficult for some children to learn to read. There are different parts of the brain that need to work together, at exactly the same time. These parts of the brain have different functions and are even on opposite sides of the brain. So the communication between all the parts of the brain needs to be at its best. Just think what you are actually doing when you read and you will realise the complexity of this wonderful pastime that we can spend so many relaxing hours doing once it is mastered. In my work I see many children struggling to develop early reading skills and parents want to help them but often just don’t know where to begin. Very often all the input to help the child actually starts at the stage of actually reading and trying to sound out words. This is starting too high up the ladder for many children. That is why I just had to share my own experience and methods, creating a program that parents can use to build visual skills, auditory skills and develop close communication between the different parts of the brain involved in reading. A fun and games approach to developing the basic skills to really learn to read. When we read, our brains have to link the visual codes our eyes see with the sound code that each letter represents; and visual and sound processing are done on opposite sides of the brain. There are subtle differences between the parts of the visual code (letters) as well as between the different sounds they represent. Children need to be able to recognise the similarities as well as the differences of the sounds and of the printed letters. And this has to be done in an instant! We also have to notice the subtle differences between the different letters. For example, ‘b’ and ‘d’ are the same but just back to front and ‘t’ and ‘f’ also confuse many children who struggle with perceiving subtle visual differences. We need to be able to notice when letters are close together, making a word and when there is a small gap between the letters of different words. This is visual perception and develops through our interaction with the real world around us. From the moment we are born and we start moving our hands and legs, we are learning about where things are and what size and shape they are. The more we play with real objects and move them and move ourselves around them, the more we develop our visual perception for shape, size and special relations (what things are close together, far apart, back-to-front, upside-down). So the first thing you can do to begin preparing your child for reading is to let them play obstacle courses. Who would have thought this was step one of learning to read? By the way, spatial perception is also important to maths. So, get your child to make obstacle courses! As your child develops his control and understanding, you can let him make letters out of play-dough and draw letters in sea sand or snow or on a mirror, using shaving foam. But knowing the shapes of letters is no good on its own. He also needs to be able to recognises and differentiate the sounds that letters represent and he must be able to separate the different sounds in the words he hears. I frequently meet children in my practice who have good a vocabulary and speak well but struggle to tell me what the first sound or last sound of a word is. When we read we are joining sounds together to make words. When we spell, we are working out the sounds in a word and then assigning the correct letter to represent that sound. Both these tasks need us to be able to notice the separate sounds that combine to make a word. We also need to be able to hear the subtle differences between the sounds: ‘ch’ and ‘sh’; the soft ‘t’ versus the harder sound of ‘d’ or ‘c’ and ‘g’. Parents can teach their children rhymes and play word games, such as “I Spy”. These games help develop the auditory processing to separate out the different sounds in words. Play good old-fashioned games with rhyming and skipping or rhyming and clapping. This way, you will help your child develop the sense of rhythm and rhyme and the communication between both sides of the brain to help speed up his ability to link the sight of letters and words with the sound. There is a lot you can do to help your child be ready to learn to read; and most of it is fun and games! Once you’ve helped him develop the underlying skills and enjoy playing with words and letters, he will be ready to learn to read and to love reading.

May 25, 2017

Childhood Allergies

Spring is set to arrive soon and what a wonderful time of the year it is, unless, of course, you’re the parent of a child plagued with allergy symptoms that are exacerbated at this time of the year. Seasonal allergies, commonly known as hay fever, are caused by pollens from trees and grasses or airborne mould spores. Symptoms include sneezing, itching of the nose and mouth, red, watery and itchy eyes and a consistently thin and clear discharge from the nose that may also become blocked. However year-round allergies to house dust, animal dander, feathers, mites and chemicals may also be troubling your child. And then, of course, there are food allergies. In infants the first symptom of a food allergy may be a rash such as eczema (atopic dermatitis) or a rash that resembles hives. This may be accompanied by colic, nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea. However food allergies in children can also contribute to chronic health problems, such as asthma, ear infections, fatigue, headache, irritability, chronic runny nose, acne, bedwetting and even difficulty maintaining concentration (attention deficit disorder, or hyperactivity). Dark circles under the eyes (called “allergic shiners”), along with a puffy look to the face, are frequently seen. (Cow’s milk is very often the culprit here). Allergic children often look wan or pallid and lack vitality. This is because food allergies can also cause digestive problems that interfere with the absorption of vitamins and minerals, no matter how nutritious the diet In the presence of an allergen, a child’s built-in defence system releases histamines and similar chemicals to fight what it perceives as an invader. A string of reactions such as the swelling and congestion of nasal passages and increased mucous production results. Conventional medicine using prescription antihistamines, nasal sprays or decongestants, treats symptoms only. Many of these medications have nasty side-effects and if used consistently may lose their effect or rapidly produce dependency. A Nutritional Therapy Approach To Treating Food Allergies The most common foods that cause allergic reactions in children are wheat, dairy products, eggs, fish and seafood, chocolate, citrus fruits, soy products, corn, nuts, peanuts and berries. On the chemical list are additives such as artificial colourants, preservatives (e.g. benzoic acid), flavour enhancers (e.g. MSG) and sulphites found in some frozen foods, dried fruits and medications. To identify what foods are making your child miserable use an elimination diet or keep a diary recording your child’s symptoms and the foods eaten. (Some children seem to be particularly drawn to a problematic food and actually crave it, so be wary if your child wants to live on peanut butter or wheat bread or dairy products). Simply eliminate the suspected food from the diet for a few weeks and watch for improvements. Eliminating all dairy products would be a good place to start. Dairy foods can stimulate an increase in mucous production. Rice, oats or goat’s milk are possible alternatives. If your child’s allergies are seasonal, it may also be helpful to avoid whole wheat during the allergy season. Good substitutes include buckwheat, corn/maize, rice, millet and quinoa. If all the identified problem foods are eliminated from a child’s diet for at least 6 months and then introduced slowly one by one she should be able to tolerate small amounts of these foods. What Else Can Help? Encourage your child to drink lots of water to thin secretions and ease expectoration. Allergic children need a good wholesome diet comprising mainly raw fruit and vegetables. Avoid giving your child any processed foods as they will contain some of the additives mentioned previously. Nutritional Supplements That May Help Vitamin C, preferably in mineral ascorbate form with bioflavonoids, is a natural anti-histamine and a powerful promoter of a strong immune system, making it the most important anti-allergy vitamin. MSM (methylsuphonyl methane) is being prescribed more and more for its anti-allergenic properties. Essential fatty acids, such as those found in fish oil help to regulate the inflammatory response. Quercetin, a plant bioflavonoid naturally found in many fruits and vegetables, acts as anti-inflammatory agent and stabilises mast cells in allergy sufferers. Mast cells become unstable during an allergic reaction and release large quantities of histamine. A high quality green whole food multivitamin and mineral supplement will ensure optimum intake of essential nutrients and sufficient digestive enzymes. Ways To Prevent Allergies In the past it was believed that it was essential to avoid sensitization of infants before birth and for the first three years of life and so moms were advised to reduce exposure of the foetus/infant to known food allergens. However despite this, food allergy in children has increased world wide. Now there is a new take based on “The Development of Oral Tolerance” whereby it is believed that by exposing an infant before and after birth to small quantities of foreign proteins, the child’s immune system is stimulated to produce anti-bodies. Mothers are now encouraged to eat a wide range of foods during pregnancy, so that small amounts of all kinds of proteins can cross the placenta to sensitize the foetus. Mothers should also breastfeed for at least 4 months while eating a wide range of different foods. For infants that cannot be breastfed, hydrolysed infant formulas and goat’s milk formulas are a safer option than soy-based formulas. Soya is a well-known allergen which can cause as many allergic reactions as cow’s milk. Holding back on solid foods until baby is 5 months old is still recommended and using only one solid food at a time in small portions (1 teaspoon a day) to keep track of any adverse reactions. The latest research also suggests that pregnant women would do well to take supplemental probiotics every day for a few weeks before their due dates and while breast-feeding as this may help prevent childhood allergies. Bottle-fed and caesarian-section infants ought to be given probiotics orally from birth. Encouragingly most children, except those suffering from peanut allergy, outgrow their allergic response. Statistics show that 25% of infants are free of symptoms

May 24, 2017

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