Tween & Teen - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

How to improve your Child’s Decision-Making skills

What is Decision-Making? Decision making is an invaluable skill, especially when your children start to make independent choices. It is an ability that benefits throughout their lives. More often, it will be their independent choices which will determine the course of their lives. Decision-making is about assessing all the options available, being aware of the situation within and around you. Thus, for children to become good at decision-making, they need to learn how to assess the possibilities, be self-aware about what they need, and understand the situation they are in. For many people, both young and adults making a decision is one of the hardest and complicated things in life, as it involves numerous aspects for consideration. Many times due to a lack of self-awareness, people remain confused throughout their lives and often end up making poor choices. Considering the dynamic environment of the 21st Century and exposure to technology from an early age, thus instilling the quality of making good decisions among children is imperative. Every small or big decision an individual makes has the potential to change his/her life. “Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. “- Tony Robbins (American Author, Coach, Speaker) What are the essential skills for effective decision-making? The ability to make sound decisions requires a wide variety of skills. Below are the skills that are crucial to make your child an effective Decision-maker: Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ability to think judiciously and reasonably without being affected by anything or anyone. It is an art of analyzing something with an unbiased mindset. Effective decision-making requires critical thinking over all the possible alternatives. Individuals need to analyze the cause and effect relationship to ensure that the selected alternative has minimum or no negative impacts. Critical Thinking will enable your child to make an informed decision. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is the ability to solve problems effectively. Problem-solving skills are the basis for improvement and innovation. Children need to incorporate problem-solving skills to become a good decision-maker. Problem solving also requires critical thinking, but in addition, it is also about understanding the problem. As often, the solution is hidden within the problem itself. Creativity: Creativity is all about mixing originality with uniqueness. Creative Thinking helps us to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, decisions are to be made regarding such aspects where there is no way to know which possibility or decision is the right one. Creativity will enable your child to make sound decisions in unforeseen situations. When the logical or traditional aspects do not make sense, it is the creativity of a person that comes into play. It can be an out-of-the-box idea or an unorthodox approach to seeing things from a different perspective. “Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.”- Malcolm Gladwell Logical Reasoning: Reasoning is concerned with analyzing a problem in a logical manner to draw conclusions. It helps to identify the reason behind anything and approach towards our assessment of things logically. Sound decisions are an outcome of logical reasoning. Reasoning will help your child to assess the pros and cons of the decision they intend to make. Thinking logically and reasonably ensures that foolish options are set aside straightaway during the decision-making process. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the ability to understand and influence others’ emotions. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. There are times when we have to make hard decisions. This is when emotional Intelligence plays its role. Emotional Intelligence will help your children to manage their sentiments while making harsh decisions. Time Management: Time management is the ability to prioritize activities based on the available time. There are times when the decision is required to be taken time bound as well. In such a situation, the assessment of possible options, understanding of the situation, etc. is to be done within that time frame. When a child knows how to manage his/her time, the ability to take time-bound decisions improves. How can you improve Decision-making skills? Decision-making is one of the most significant and beneficial life skills in the 21st Century. Acquiring Decision-making skills also contributes to improving a child’s leadership ability. Decisions can transform our lives beyond imagination. Therefore, you must help your child in developing decision-making skills. Encourage Decision Making: During the day to day life, you can get multiple situations when you can allow your child to make a decision. The more opportunity a child will get to make decisions; the more his/her decision-making skills will improve. Ask Questions: Talk to your children about their thought process behind making a decision. See how they are evaluating various possibilities, in case you see one or more possibility was ignored, then ask them ‘what if this happened?’ Pay attention to how they respond and guide them in those aspects where there is a need for improvement. Discuss Your Process of Decision Making: Share with your children an incident of your life where you had to make a tough decision. Explain to them what was going on in your mind, what were the different aspects you took into consideration, etc. This way, they would feel more comfortable asking you for guidance for any of their decision. Involvement: If a certain situation in your house requires a decision to be made, make your children part of the discussion. The more involved they become, the more connected they would feel with the situation, putting them in a mindset of thinking and assessing the situation. More importantly, they would also learn from you, and they might even give you some valuable points to consider. “Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” – Jun Camp The world needs proficient Decision-makers for a bright future. Developing this skill within a child from an early age is crucial for the overall development. Creating a better generation then themselves is a responsibility of each generation. And this responsibility starts with parents itself.

September 11, 2023

What are period panties

Since launching Blushproof® – friends, family, strangers – they all ask the same question, “What the heck are period panties?!?”. This was especially true more than two years ago when I started researching the product. I’ve always hated pads and tampons and as I was starting peri-menopause, I was dreading using these products sporadically. That’s when I came across period panties. Amazingly, there was a store in Joburg importing them from the US. I had to try them!! It turned out, they were much better than I expected. These looked and felt like normal panties but had an additional 3 layers sewn into the gusset or crotch. They were perfect for my sometimes hectically heavy and sometimes non-existent flow. Where were these when I was younger? It was after trialing them for a few months that I decided South Africans needed to know about this amazing invention and I also decided that I wanted to be one of the ones to educate the “masses”. Of course, I could have gone the easy route and simply applied to be a distributor but the overseas products were just too costly for our South African market and I wanted to make something PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN. I could have also simply imported the Chinese brands but they didn’t meet my high standards in terms of quality and absorption. Enter Blushproof® period panties – or ANY absorbing panties for that matter! They’re generally made with a “shell” which is the actual panty and a gusset which is the absorbing part. This absorbing part has 3 layers: The first layer touches your skin and is made of wicking fabric which draws your flow away from your body and into the gusset; The second layer is made of absorbing fabric (think Glodina bath towels but MUCH thinner) which absorbs your flow; and The third layer is a very thin waterproofing layer which stops your flow from leaking through onto your panties and clothes / bed sheets / you name it (we’ve all been there). After about a year of research, I found the right fabrics for the job and started importing them from the US and Taiwan (sadly, we don’t make these fabrics in SA). Why I chose these specific fabrics was because of their certification in terms of being anti-bacterial, anti-odour, moisture wicking, hypoallergenic, free of nasty chemicals and sustainably made – all things that are key in absorbing panties. People want to know that what they’re putting close to their vagina is not going to irritate, cause smells or lead to infections – so the right fabrics are essential. From there it was days and nights and many tears spent on designing styles and trying to get sizing right – what a challenge – but worth it to see that we now have something for everyone in our beautiful Rainbow Nation. There’s been a massive uptick in people starting to know about period panties and in different suppliers entering the market (although most are imported from China, which is fine too) and I’m starting to find that people actually know what I’m talking about without me having to first explain. So, why are Blushproof® period panties so amazing? They completely replace disposable sanitary pads and tampons. No more products ending up in landfills (did you know pads take 500+ years to biodegrade so the first pad you ever used is still out there somewhere?! EEUUWW – just saying). Another EEUUWW fact is that, in South Africa, used sanitary pads are being fished out of landfills and used for “muti”, but I digress. I get asked all sorts of questions like, “Do they last all day?”, “Surely they’re not for very heavy flow?”, “Isn’t it gross to carry the worn pair around in your bag?”, “What about the blood?”. Whenever something is new and requires a different mindset, generally, consumers will be weary (and in some cases, horrified!). In actual fact, they’re very easy to “use”. You’ll be wearing a pair of period panties and have a spare pair in your leakproof storage bag which you’ll keep in your gym bag, school bag, handbag. If, at some stage in the day, they start to feel wet (they actually feel dry until they’re “full”), then you’ll go to the bathroom, remove the worn pair and put on the spare pair of blushproofs. The worn pair will be safely stored in your leakproof pouch until you get home where you can rinse them before hand washing them or popping them into a mesh laundry bag and into the machine. Blushproofs can be worn, rinsed, washed and hang out to dry, ready for the next use. If looked after correctly, they can last for at least two years (I know this because my first customer that bought Blushproofs for her daughter in August 2021 is still using them AND they’re still in perfect condition). They come in a variety of styles, sizes (ranging from tweens aged 10 to plus sizes 3XL) and absorbencies (from light to super). We’re talking from the Thong with light absorbency which is used for spotting or as a backup to your menstrual cup or tampon, saving you from having to use panty-liners to the super absorption Hi-waist style for maximum coverage and absorption. We even have a Period Swim Bikini bottom which can be used during swimming so that girls and women don’t have to miss out on pool & beach time just because it’s that time of the month. I also always get asked, “But what about the cost?”. Yes, they are an investment but in actual fact, once you’ve bought a few pairs, you’re set for the next two+ years AND you’ll save about 40% compared to what you’d spend on normal pads (never mind the organic ones). You also won’t have to worry about dashing out to buy single-use products each month and you won’t be adding to the landfills and water systems. Culturally, period panties still have a long way to go in terms of

September 7, 2023

BIPOLAR IN TEENS: WHAT ARE THE EARLY SIGNS?

Affinity Health, a leading provider of high-quality health cover, explores what bipolar disorder is, highlights the early signs to watch out for in teenagers, and emphasises the importance of seeking professional help and support. What is Bipolar Disorder and How Does it Affect Teens? Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic-depressive illness, is a mental health condition characterised by extreme mood swings. During adolescence’s ups and downs, teenagers with bipolar disorder navigate an additional layer of mood swings that can be intense and unpredictable. Their emotional journey becomes a delicate balancing act between moments of exhilarating highs, manic or hypomanic episodes, and deep lows of profound sadness or depression. In general, bipolar disorder affects approximately one in every 200 people globally. It is important to note that bipolar disorder can often go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, particularly in teenagers, as symptoms may overlap with regular hormonal changes and typical teenage behaviour. The lack of awareness and stigma surrounding mental health issues can also contribute to underreporting and inaccurate statistics. What Causes Bipolar? The exact cause of bipolar disorder in teenagers is not fully understood. However, it is believed to result from a combination of the following factors: Genetics: Bipolar disorder tends to run in families, indicating a genetic predisposition. A family history of bipolar disorder or other mood disorders increases the likelihood of developing the condition. Neurochemical Imbalance: Imbalances in certain brain chemicals, such as serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, are believed to play a role in the development of bipolar disorder. These imbalances can affect mood regulation and contribute to the disorder’s extreme mood swings. Brain Structure and Function: Studies have shown that individuals with bipolar disorder may have structural and functional differences in specific brain areas responsible for emotion regulation and impulse control. These differences can impact the brain’s ability to regulate mood effectively. Hormonal Imbalances: Fluctuations in hormones during adolescence may contribute to the onset of bipolar disorder in some teenagers. The hormonal changes during puberty can affect mood stability and trigger or exacerbate symptoms of bipolar disorder. Certain environmental factors can influence the development of bipolar disorder in susceptible individuals. Traumatic events, chronic stress, substance abuse, and significant life changes can contribute to the onset or recurrence of symptoms. Possible Bipolar Indicators Recognising the early signs of bipolar disorder in teenagers is crucial as it allows for timely intervention and appropriate treatment. The following are some common indicators to be mindful of. Extreme Mood Swings: Adolescents with bipolar disorder may experience intense shifts in mood that are more severe than typical teenage mood swings. These shifts can occur rapidly, with periods of elevated mood, irritability, or euphoria followed by profound sadness or hopelessness. Changes in Energy Levels: Teens with bipolar disorder may exhibit significant changes in their energy levels. During manic or hypomanic episodes, they may display increased energy, restlessness, and impulsivity. Conversely, during depressive episodes, they may feel lethargic, fatigued, and lacking motivation. Sleep Disturbances: Bipolar disorder can disrupt a teenager’s sleep patterns. They may experience insomnia during manic episodes, feeling little need for sleep, or hypersomnia during depressive episodes, sleeping excessively. Changes in Appetite and Weight: Fluctuations in appetite and weight are common in bipolar disorder. Some teenagers may experience increased appetite and weight gain during depressive episodes, while others may have decreased appetite and weight loss during manic episodes. Difficulty Concentrating: Bipolar disorder can affect a teenager’s ability to focus and concentrate, causing them to struggle with completing tasks, maintaining attention, and performing academically. Social Withdrawal or Agitation: Teens with bipolar disorder may exhibit changes in their social behaviours, withdrawing from social activities they once enjoyed or displaying increased irritability, agitation, or hostility towards others. Impaired Judgment: Teens with bipolar disorder may engage in risky or impulsive behaviours, such as reckless driving, excessive spending, or unprotected sex. Their impaired judgment during manic episodes can lead to adverse consequences. “It is important to note that these early signs may vary in intensity and duration from person to person”, says Murray Hewlett, CEO of Affinity Health. “Not all teenagers experiencing these symptoms will have bipolar disorder. However, if these signs persist and significantly impact a teenager’s daily functioning, seeking professional evaluation and support from a qualified mental health provider is crucial. They can conduct a comprehensive assessment, accurately diagnose your teenager, and develop an individualised treatment plan”. Treatment for Bipolar Disorder in Teens Treatment for bipolar disorder often involves a combination of medication, therapy, and lifestyle adjustments to manage symptoms effectively. Parents and caregivers also play a crucial role in supporting teenagers with bipolar disorder. Affinity Health offers the following eight tips to help navigate this challenging journey. Educate Yourself: Learn about bipolar disorder, its symptoms, and available treatment options. Understanding the condition will empower you to provide informed support. Promote Open Communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where your teenager feels comfortable discussing their feelings and experiences. Establish a Routine: Help your teenager establish a consistent daily routine that includes regular sleep patterns, healthy meals, and structured activities. Maintaining a stable routine can help stabilise their mood and provide a sense of predictability. Encourage Self-Care: Teach your teenager the importance of self-care practices such as regular exercise, practising relaxation techniques, and engaging in activities they enjoy. Encourage them to prioritise their well-being and manage stress effectively. Foster a Supportive Network: Help your teenager to connect with supportive peers, join support groups, or participate in activities that promote social interaction. A strong support network can provide validation, understanding, and a sense of belonging. Monitor Medication: If their medication is prescribed, ensure your teenager takes it as directed and schedule regular check-ups with their healthcare provider to monitor its effectiveness and address any concerns. Be Patient and Understanding: Bipolar disorder can be challenging for teenagers and their families. Be patient, understanding, and supportive. Encourage open discussions about their experiences and feelings and be prepared to adapt and adjust as needed. Seek Professional Help: Bipolar disorder is a complex condition, and professional guidance is essential. Consult with mental health professionals specialising in adolescent bipolar disorder to ensure your teenager receives appropriate treatment and support. By being vigilant for the early

September 4, 2023

5 Hard Facts About Soft Skills – and Why They Matter to Teens, Now More Than Ever!

There’s no denying it: it’s a tough world for teens to grow up in, especially when it comes to education. South African schools are struggling, filled to the brim with learners, and facing a variety of operational challenges, while trying to teach the skills that teens will need to succeed well into their adult lives. So, what exactly are those skills? Traditionally, formal high schools put teens on a path to developing hard skills that can contribute towards their future careers; like computer literacy, analytical thinking, and time management – just three examples, among many. But what about soft skills? Traditional education channels fall short when it comes to teaching teens soft skills, in addition to academia, because they’re just so overwhelmed. Although we want our teens to be successful in their future careers, we also need them to be good, well-rounded people, with both hard and soft skills that enable them to become meaningful contributors to society; tools they will use in a multitude of contexts and conversations over the course of their lives. According to studies, employers in Africa say that graduates are overlooking essential soft skills development when undertaking their degrees, which can negatively affect their ability to find work. This suggests that there is great benefit to your teen’s future career, and societal contribution, for them to get a head start on the development of these skills, while they’re still in school. And the key to making sure they learn soft skills is to educate them, while entertaining them – which is where eLearning platforms like the new ‘edumentary’ Playbox platform come in! Five Hard Facts About Soft Skills: 1. 80% of recruiters say the ability to adapt is becoming increasingly vital in the workplace. When it comes to living in tumultuous times, teens need to be prepared for their lives to change on a whim, in ways they won’t always have control over. To this end, they need to have the sort of resilience that can handle it. Ultra-trail runner, Ryan Sandes, tackles skills like resilience in his Playbox. He may be a mountain master, but the wisdom he shares goes far beyond the trail, as he teaches how to handle adversity, and come out on top. In his own words, he says, “Life happens fast. It’s unpredictable, fast-paced, and changing all the time.” By helping teens learn that everyone is running their own life trail, and that sometimes the going will get tough, you set them up for success – and a ton of fun while chasing it! 2. 9.7 million employees experienced workplace conflict in 2018 to 2019. Soft skills teach teens that life isn’t going to be a walk in the park; that there will be bad moments, tragic moments, and tough moments. And that you can learn what it takes to overcome. This often means that your teens need to be capable of conflict management. Mogau Seshoene, lovingly known as The Lazy Makoti, is a famous South African chef, who lives by the motto: “Do it with the fear!” In her Playbox she speaks about the best way to handle conflict and continue in pursuit of your wildest dreams, even when everyone around you says no! 3. 90% of employees are more likely to stay with a company that empathises with their needs. “When we understand empathy, and we learn how to use it to make the world laugh, that’s when empathy becomes our superpower.” These wise words are from Playbox’s homegrown funny guy and professional stand-up comedian, Joey Rasdien. Aside from some side-splitting lessons in comedy, he teaches us about the importance of having empathy – for yourself and everyone else. And whether your teen ends up leading teams or working in them, knowing how to be empathetic is essential because it teaches you how to talk to, and understand, people from all walks of life – which is something we could all use more of, as adults, as well! 4. Attitude is the number one important factor when hiring new employees. Just like many of us, your teen will probably have to work for someone one day, or with them if they decide to start their own thing, and unfortunately, even if they’re brilliant at what they do, they’ll fail if they have the wrong attitude. Values and manners are the soft skills required to get through life and make positive connections along the way. Global soccer star, Lucas Radebe, goes for the goals in his Playbox, when he says, “Attitude is what sums you up as a leader, a captain, a true rocket of the game – that’s what sets you apart.” Those who have the right attitude are more likely to move forward in life, making it a skill that’s as important to learn as reading and writing. 5. Courage is one of the top seven qualities recruiters look for in the hiring process. The Princess of Africa, Yvonne Chaka Chaka, believes that in order to succeed, you need the guts to be different, and the grace to be human. As technological advancements in multiple industries render positions obsolete, teens may find themselves being told they have no place in a certain industry, business, or field. In such an event, they’re going to have to consider innovating and building something for themselves – from the ground up – and that’s where the guts come in. Once they make it, they need the grace to stay on top. It takes hard work to be successful, and these days, just knowing the ins and outs of your craft isn’t enough. You have to be brave and humble – the two go hand-in-hand as soft skills that’ll take teens far! The Coaches on Playbox are the ideal mentors, offering up hard-won wisdom in easy-to-watch 10-minute episodes, teaching soft skills, and lighting a fire in the hearts of younger generations, inspiring them to work hard towards their dreams because this life can be a struggle sometimes and everyone needs a little hope. This is education

August 17, 2023

Lifesaving tips every parent should know about

While most parents prefer not to think of their children in potentially life-threatening situations, being prepared and knowing how to respond appropriately in the event of an accident, injury or illness is crucial for the well-being of children. These unexpected events can also place huge financial burdens on families if they are not dealt with quickly, decisively and correctly. For this reason, Bestmed Medical Scheme has introduced Best Care, a life-saving first aid series that offers insights on how parents and caregivers can better care for their families. In this article the brand offers tips on first aid kits, CPR and Wound care in collaboration with some of SA’s best paediatricians. First aid A fully stocked first aid kit is an essential item in every home, but it’s also a good idea to create a mini first aid kit that can be carried in a handbag, diaper bag or in the car for use during an emergency while out and about or on the road to your next holiday destination. According to paediatrician, Dr Enrico Maraschin, having medical tools and medication that can be used to measure and control a temperature is vital. High fevers can be dangerous to the health and wellbeing of little ones if left unattended or not properly treated. It can result in convulsions, which is a stressful event for parents to witness and support their child through. Rehydration solutions, over-the-counter medicines to bind a runny tummy and even probiotics are good items to include in your home first aid kit for children, in case your child is exposed to a virus or bacteria that can cause diarrhoea and sometimes vomiting. Antiseptic creams, bandages to wrap wounds and a small pair of scissors to cut bandages may also come in handy in case of a fall or injury, and keep safety pins, an eye patch and adhesive dressings packed too. CPR Knowing how to resuscitate a child who is choking or having difficulty breathing is a necessary first aid skill that every parent and caregiver should possess, as it could help keep them alive until emergency services arrive. Resuscitation is necessary when a child appears unresponsive, has collapsed or is gasping for air and struggling to breathe. It’s always best, of course, to intercede and assist a child as early on as possible – always take signs of breathing difficulty seriously and don’t wait for the child to collapse before taking action. The first abbreviation to keep in mind is SSS – Safety, Shout and Stimulate. Safety: Look at the immediate environment around you and ascertain whether it’s safe to attend to the child here or if they need to be moved to safety. It might seem simple enough, but in a moment of panic it’s easy to lose sight of this very important step. Shout: Call for help from people nearby, phone the emergency services or get someone to call an ambulance for you. Stimulate: Check if the child is responsive by gently tapping their arm, stroking their face or speaking to them. If the child does not groan or move and is unresponsive, quickly move on to the ABC. ABC is a CPR abbreviation that stands for Airway, Breathe, and Circulation. Airway: Make sure the child’s head and neck are aligned and that their body is positioned in a straight position – don’t let the neck flex as this prevents air from reaching the lungs. Breathe: In the case of infants and babies, place your mouth over their nose and mouth to create a seal. For bigger babies and children, pinch the nose and place the mouth over just their mouth. Circulation: There are three steps involved in this section: Step one: Take a breath and breathe into the mouth, making sure that the chest rises. Step two: Wait for the chest to deflate to normal position Step three: Repeat the first step. You can continue this cycle five times. If the child is still not responsive, move on to chest compressions. While the technique varies between younger and older children, the gist remains the same. For infants, use two fingers or a hand circling technique to apply compressions. For older children who are above the age of one, use one or two hands curled around the other to press on to the breastbone (the same would apply for an adult). Use quick compressions, positioning yourself directly over the chest and keeping the elbows straight. “You need to do the compressions at a rate of 100 to 120 seconds. Singing a song like ‘Staying Alive’ in your head and compressing to the beat will help you to do this,” says paediatrician, Dr Kevanya Coopoo. Alternate between compressions and administering rescue breaths, and continue this until help arrives, the child is responsive, or you are too fatigued. “I always recommend that families go for basic life support courses. Have a look at the Resuscitation Council of South Africa’s website for a range of courses to choose from,” says Dr Coopoo. She adds that this ensures all members of the family are aware of safety practices and are able to help one another in a crisis. For younger children, teach them the phone numbers of emergency services so that they can call for help in an emergency. Wound care Accidents happen, and when they do, they may result in wounds that require proper care and treatment to ensure they heal well. A wound is any break in the skin or injury to the tissue. It can be open (in the case of the skin being penetrated or cut) or closed (if there’s damage to underlying tissue). “If there’s bleeding, compress the wound with a clean cloth or gauze for a few minutes until the bleeding stops. Then rinse off with clean running tap water for a few minutes. Now, clean the wound by using an alcohol-sterilised pair of tweezers to pick out any debris,” says Dr Coopoo. Dr Coopoo adds that the wound would most likely be moist at

August 17, 2023

Mental Health In Teens: Top Six Things Parents Need To Know

Affinity Health is a leading provider of high-quality healthcare cover. They say teenage mental illness is more prevalent than parents may realise. It is typical for adolescents to experience moodiness on occasion. But when do teen mood swings mean something more serious, like mental illness? “Teenage mental illness is very prevalent. But many forms of mental disease are treatable. All patients need is an accurate diagnosis,” says Murray Hewlett, Affinity Health CEO. “Untreated mental illnesses hinder children, their friends and family, schools, and communities.” Affinity Health says it is more important now than ever that South Africans address child and adolescent mental health. Learn More: Know the Symptoms of Childhood Mental Illness Here are six things parents need to know about teen mental health. 1. Mental Illness In Teens Is More Common Than You Think At least one in five youth ages nine to 17 has a diagnosable mental health disorder. One in ten has a disorder that causes considerable impairment. Only one-third of these adolescents receive the required care. Half of all significant adult psychiatric problems begin by age 14. But therapy is often not initiated until six to 23 years later. 2. Signs of Mental Illness In Teens Can Differ There are various definitions of mental illness. Physicians use several particular factors to decide if a person has a mental disease. Doctors often look for sadness or disinterest in hobbies and recreational activities. But, in adolescents, symptoms may manifest as follows: Fluctuating grades Social disinterest Volatile moods More criteria may come into play if at least one of these symptoms is present: Having trouble sleeping, such as falling asleep or staying asleep Changes in energy level Alterations in focus or task completion Loss or increase in appetite Decreased motivation Suicidal thoughts A fall in grades Body aches or pains Tearfulness Avoiding friends and social activities Overuse of substances like alcohol or drugs Difficulty perceiving reality (delusions or hallucinations) Intense fear of weight gain or concern with appearance Difficulty understanding or relating to other people A teen mental illness is present if more than five of these symptoms occur every day for at least two weeks. 3. There Are Different Types Of Mental Disorders In Teens Some common teen mental illnesses are anxiety, mood, attention, and disruptive behaviour disorders. Anxiety Disorders Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Social Anxiety Disorder Panic Disorder Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Mood Disorders Adjustment Disorder With Depressed Mood Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) Bipolar Disorder Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Disruptive Behaviour Disorders Conduct Disorder Oppositional Defiant Disorder 4. Teenage Mental Illness CAN Be Treated Treatment is available for mental illnesses. But, often, parents do not bring their child to therapy until months have passed because they are in denial. Most parents believe that what is occurring to their children is impossible. If you are concerned, you should talk to your child. If there are signs of stress or dramatic behavioural shifts, ask them first. It may not be a psychiatric disorder, but they need your support. 5. Communication With Your Teen Is Beneficial To Their Recovery Maintain open, honest, and consistent communication. Your children should know they can talk to you about anything. But you should also encourage open communication. Discuss your personal experiences and worries as a teenager. Inform them that they are not alone and that their problems are not unique. 6. Certain Meds Can Worsen Mental Disorders Be alert for prescription drug misuse. The following medications are abused: Opioids intended for pain relief Stimulants for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) Depressants for anxiety Sleeping aids These all exacerbate mental health disorders in teenagers. Teenagers also overuse over-the-counter cough and cold remedies. How Affinity Health Can Help At Affinity Health, we strive for early intervention to assist struggling adolescents. We want to assist them with coping before they become lifelong struggles. Although psychologist and psychiatrist visits are not covered, Affinity Health’s Telehealth Consulting provides access to nurses, doctors and mental health practitioners. Contact 0861 11 00 33 for more information. Learn More: Improving the Mental Health of Children and Adolescents

August 16, 2023

GLOBALLY TEEN DEPRESSION REACHES AN ALL-TIME HIGH

Depression has become the leading cause of illness and disability among adolescents worldwide, which in most cases go undetected and untreated, increasing the risk of suicide. Abdurahman Kenny, Mental Health Portfolio Manager for Pharma Dynamics says while teen mental health was already declining prior to COVID-19, the pandemic created conditions that exacerbated feelings of sadness and hopelessness. “Disruptions to routines, missed milestones, extended school disruptions, prolonged social isolation, fear and anxiety over health and finances have without doubt taken a cumulative toll on the mental well-being of youth. Extraordinary stress and disruption as experienced during the pandemic can be very damaging for a child’s psyche that typically thrives on routine and predictability.” The study found older children to be impacted more severely than younger ones, likely because of puberty, hormonal changes, and lack of social interaction. Girls were more prone to depression and anxiety than boys, which align with studies from before the pandemic. Kenny explains that depression, anxiety and behavioural disorders are among the most common mental health concerns in youth. “Depressive symptoms, such as sadness, loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy, disturbed sleep, changes in appetite, lack in concentration, irritability, low energy or little motivation to do anything, risky or harmful behaviour, substance abuse and feeling hopeless for weeks on end can lead to suicide ideation if not properly addressed.” In South Africa, where we have limited mental health resources, it’s important for parents to become more aware of behavioural changes in their children in order to provide them with the right support. Here’s what you can do as a parent: 1. Be there for your child. Show empathy and understanding – even if they don’t want to talk to you or do much of anything. Depression makes even doing the smallest of tasks difficult. Validate their emotions, but not their unhealthy behaviour. Ask questions about their mood in a non-threatening way. Don’t be judgemental or try to solve their problems, just listen to what they are saying and let them know that you are there for them, while showing compassion for what they’re going through. 2. Focus on the positive. Compliment them on the positive things they do – even if it’s just going to school, setting the dinner table or helping with the dishes. Try not to belabour their negative points, but rather acknowledge that they’re trying. They don’t want to feel this way. If they could snap out of it, they would, but depression doesn’t work that way. Showing love and appreciation for the little things they do well, will strengthen your relationship. 3. Encourage self-care. While it may be difficult for your teen to look after themselves while they’re feeling depressed, it’s vitally important. Getting regular exercise, eating healthy meals, sleeping enough, participating in sports and wholesome hobbies that make them feel good about themselves, limiting screen time and social media use, practising gratitude by keeping a journal, encouraging social interaction, setting achievable goals are all things they can do that will improve their mood and self-esteem. 4. Set boundaries. Healthy boundaries are essential for youth to form positive relationships with others. Setting these limits create physical and emotional safety for your teen, so they know what is acceptable and what is not. Even when they are depressed, rules should be respected. 5. Get them the help they need. Discuss going to a therapist if their mood doesn’t improve. If they don’t want to go, ask in what way you can help. If they tell you to back off, don’t retaliate with anger. It might just be their way of telling you they need space. Accept their response and give them some more time to think about it. If they don’t come back to you, ask your GP to recommend a few therapists. Then put the suggested therapists to your teen and ask them to make a choice. It’s important to make them feel involved in the process, which sets the stage for effective therapy. Kenny says there are several kinds of therapy that might be helpful. “These include interpersonal therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behavioural therapy, which all play a role in the recovery process. However, a thorough assessment should be done by a psychiatrist in order to recommend the most appropriate treatment for your child. “Teenagers with depression may also benefit from medication, such as anti-depressants, but the best results are usually obtained when combining medicine with psychotherapy (talking with a therapist). That said, your teen has to be committed to therapy, therefore finding the right therapist that your child can connect with is key.” He says while challenging behaviour tends to be the norm for teenagers, parents should be on the lookout for signs of depression as early detection and treatment are crucial. For more info on how to manage depression, visit mydynamics.co.za or contact Pharma Dynamics’ toll-free helpline on 0800 205 026, which is manned by trained counsellors who are on call from 8am to 8pm, seven days a week.

August 4, 2023

A bedtime routine for the family

My kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old and I wanted to help moms out with an idea of what your evenings could look like with a consistent routine that your children can know and become used to. By knowing what to expect, as each night is more or less the same, my kids don’t argue or negotiate what to do or not do, as we have done the routine since they were babies. We have dinner when dad gets home from work around 5:00/5:30 p.m. After dinner, we do some sort of activity, which usually lasts for 15−20 minutes. We either go outside and play, throw the ball for our dog, swing or jump on the trampoline (the kids, not us adults!). Or, on long summer days, we go for a walk around the block. After this, we go inside and all three kids jump into the bath at around 18:00/18:15 p.m. While they bath, I get their clothing ready – nappy for little one and PJs. I set up their essential-oil owl diffusers (I find this is super helpful with snotty noses and change of season as well as dry air) and take the towels back to the bathroom, while dad stands in the doorway watching them. They play and the splashing often gets a little out of hand; we wash them and then wrangle them out the bath by 18:30 p.m. We apply cream, do meds and get dressed. We then all read a story or two (sometimes three, if they get their way) on one bed. After the story, it is lights out. We all say good night and my husband often sits with the older two for a few minutes (my 4- and 6-year olds share a room, each with their own bed) and I take our 2-year old to bed. I tuck her in with her bunny and also sit with her or stand by the door for a few minutes. Most nights, all the kids are asleep by 7:00 p.m. In summer, we put the fans are on, which helps with a bit of white noise, and in winter, we have wall heaters to take the chill off the air. I dress my kids in warm fleece onesies in winter because they generally do not sleep under their blankets, and before I go to bed myself each night, I check on them and put a blanket over them, as being cold can cause early wakings with babies and children. When they were smaller they still had sleeping bags. We try keep our bedtime routine, from bath to lights out, within 30 minutes. Research shows that our body’s melatonin is at its highest point within 30 minutes of having had warm water on our bodies, and I have seen that this really does help my kids calm down and get sleepy. With only one child, you can really create a SPA type of environment with dimmed lights and calming music. But as they grow and are more mobile or when you start to have more kids in the bath-time routine, it is quite unrealistic to expect your kids to not splash and be loud at bath time. Having a consistent routine allows my children to know what is coming next and that bedtime with lights off is at the end of the routine. To summarise: WHY a bedtime routine is needed: A consistent bedtime routine is vital for good sleep health, for both children and adults. The consistency of a bedtime routine helps your baby or child prepare for sleep and to know that sleep is coming. It also helps with melatonin production. WHEN a bedtime routine should be done: If you aim for bedtime to be between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., you need to aim for 30 minutes before that. HOW a bedtime routine should be done: I love reading that “a bedtime routine should be relaxing and a SPA-like environment should be created” (at Good Night, we even used to advocate this). And yes, that is a lovely idea and would help with prepping the brain for sleep and allow your baby to feel super relaxed and calm. It could also be achievable when you have only one child, but throw three children in the bath together and the noise and atmosphere will be more like varsity-locker-room vibes than a SPA. Load shedding added to the mix can spice up your night, especially as it is getting darker earlier as winter approaches. I use a lamp to have light in the bathroom. I also need to be a little more prepared with turning our geyser on earlier so our water is warm and making sure the clothing is out so I don’t need to use my cell phone flashlight to find the PJs in the dark. But my kids are so used to load shedding that it doesn’t cause too many issues; they just know that we need to then tell and not read a story in the dark. Below are just the basic points of what a bedtime routine can look like. Bedtime routine: Bath Dress in PJs Read a story Hugs and kisses Lights off Being able to have all three of our children bath and do their bedtime routine together was what we wanted as a family, firstly to create a time of bonding and secondly for practical reasons. When my husband works late, I need to be able to independently bath and put to bed all three of my kids together and bathing and dressing them one by one is way too exhausting and drawn out. Having all three of our kids bath together works for us, even though that creates lots of noise, wet floors and chaos. We embrace the chaos and noise and allow the warm water temperature to do its work on the brain (temperature change signals the brain to release melatonin) regardless of the splashing and loud fun being had by all three children. By Megan

August 2, 2023

Programs that are changing the lives of young men

There is something special about being in the wilds of Africa. Sitting around a campfire with friends, climbing to the peak of a misty mountain, watching elephants graze the marula trees of the lowveld. Everyone should have the opportunity to see the sunrise over the African bushveld and experience that feeling of how magical life is. We all know that young men and women develop differently, and for each to become successful in their own right requires them to encounter different obstacles at varying points in their life. For young men there have been after school gap year programs and back in the day there was the army, all designed to teach young men how to overcome adversities in life and work hard for something. There hasn’t been anything for young men still in high school. This is interesting as ensuring a young man is adequately set up for life and will strive to find success in all aspects of life, is best accomplished through moulding his ideals during his transformational teenage years. In what Daniel J. Levinson (a psychologist from the 60’s) dubbed “the early adulthood transitional phase”, it is noted that a young man goes through more changes between 14-18 than in other period of his life, it is also now clear that although a person can constantly change, the ideals and values that are formed for a young man in that early adulthood transitional phase are the values that they carry with them for life. Young men in today’s modern world need to learn the values of tenacity, fortitude, humility, integrity and self-discipline all before they leave school. Because by the time they leave and go into university or the professional working world they need to have established ideals that continually allow them to stand out, to achieve more and to rise above the rest. Young men only gain these values, values which ultimately shape their identity, through overcoming adversities, learning the true power of reflection, receiving difficult feedback from their peers and by being guided by a mentor that knows how to bring out the best attributes in them. It is through the creation of a strong identity, founded on strong morals that young men pave their way to becoming highly successful wherever they go and in whatever they do. Angus Lowe, an adventurer and educator, has designed exactly that. Programs and camps for young men between the ages of 15-19 to help young men discover their identity, gain their independence, transform attitudes and perspectives and create momentum towards success. “No matter where life takes you, you’ll naturally rise to the top and find your own personal success.” – Angus Lowe Not only are the locations for these camps incredible but the activities are amazing too. With camps in the greater Kruger park area, on an island in the Zambezi river and a third one on a private Mozambique lagoon it is difficult to beat providing young men with such unique and exciting places to go. While on these camps there is the chance to do everything from white water rafting and deep sea fishing to rock climbing and paintball all the while Angus helps facilitate and guide young men on their development journey of creating values that will shape their identities. “These are programs designed to help guide and facilitate young men in their transition from boyhood into manhood.” With a core focus on values for modern men, discovering their own identity, maturing their independence, finding a sense of purpose and real life skills for every young man. These programmes are designed to foster, develop and grow each young man into rising above the rest and being leaders, forward thinkers, titans of industries and all round balanced successful happy men in every aspect of their lives. These programs take young men to some of the most beautiful locations in Southern Africa and provide them with the guided opportunity to overcome their insecurities and flourish. To test their limits and push the boundaries of their comfort zone to find the point where their adversities become their successes. The programs and Angus facilitate this life changing experience for each young man to shape his future, while forging lifelong friendships, learning valuable skills, creating a love for conservation and nature, enjoying beautiful exclusive locations and having the time of their life making memories they will never forget. It has been long proven that only through adversity do men attain certain qualities. While writing for Forbes Magazine Paula Davis says that adversity can develop these qualities in people; Renewed appreciation for life, Enhanced personal strength, Stronger more meaningful relationships, Spiritual growth and Recognising new paths for your life. By going through one of Angus’ programmes a young man will also; Create and enhance his leadership abilities Discover ones purpose and who they are meant to be Improve their communication and social skills Increase their ability to adapt to change Grow their confidence Give them greater self-belief and acknowledgement of their own capabilities Increase in their resilience and determination Create an optimistic outlook on life with a positive attitude The Programs Our foundational Askari program is a 21 day program located in the Greater Kruger park region. It focuses on Identity development and young men being able to gain their independence through the creation of this identity and moulding of core values. Young men will learn more about themselves, who they want to be and where they want to go in life in these 21 days than they will through the traditional schooling system. Designed to make young men into the best possible men they can be, they will experience everything from learning archery and rock climbing to working with the world’s foremost elite anti-poaching unit and being involved in true conservation all at the same time being able to go on regular game drives where they could see the Big 5 and more. The Sakazima program (Located on an island in the middle of the Zambezi river) transforms

July 13, 2023

Why teach your children to be a team player?

A team player is constantly reliable day in and day out, not just some of the time. You can count on them to get the job done, meet deadlines, keep their word and provide consistent quality work. Learning to work in a team is undoubtedly one of the most important skills that one can learn and has been identified as a crucial component of 21st century learning. As a result, many schools and curricula have placed a renewed emphasis on group-work and collaboration to equip students with these vital skills. The elements of being a team player are varied and great in number. The trust factor is undeniably at the heart of all things related to teamwork. Having the faith to delegate tasks and allowing individuals the freedom to make decisions requires a great degree of trust. It boils down to putting your fate and that of the team’s in the hands of others. Other vital components include commitment to the team-goal, selflessness and an ability to compromise. Ultimately, it is about putting the group ahead of yourself. Consequently, it remains my firm belief that the sports field remains one of the most effective “classrooms” in terms of learning to be a team player. Having to cope with the teams expectations and being responsible for motivating your teammates while having to cope with your own inner doubts are daunting at the best of times. These demands are often magnified by the fact that the sporting contest often takes place in the public arena thereby increasing the fear of failure. Unsurprisingly many of our strongest and most character building memories revolve around these sporting moments be they making the last-ditch tackle to stop a try, scoring the winning goal or consoling a teammate after their mistake cost the team. These moments often have an impact on our self-confidence and character long after the occasion has passed and often serve to inspire us to even greater things. It is undeniable that being part of a team does leave one vulnerable as it takes the individual out of their comfort zone. This aspect makes teamwork both challenging and rewarding. To celebrate an achievement brought about by a united effort remains one of the greatest sensations and allows us a bonding experience with our fellow people that is irreplaceable. It remains my firm belief that teamwork remains one of humanity’s greatest assets and its unlimited potential will undoubtedly be vital in overcoming our political, economic and social challenges that currently beset our world. By: Farone Eckstein, Principal of Trinityhouse High Randpark Ridge

June 30, 2023

WHY YOUR TEEN NEEDS PRIVACY

As parents we feel a certain pride when our teens stake out their rights to more and more autonomy. After all, it’s a natural and necessary evolution from childhood to adulthood, a signifier that our ‘child is alright’ and that we are doing a ‘good enough’ job at parenting. However, as our teens carve out more independence for themselves in a world complicated by a vast digital realm that holds both known and unknown dangers, many parents are feeling compelled to put safety first in ways that can compromise their child’s privacy. Why is privacy so important to teens? Adolescence, the transition from childhood to adulthood, is marked by developing independence and identity. Lekha Daya, a Counselling Psychologist and Senior Psychologist for the Panda app, a provider of free and low-cost mental healthcare in South Africa, says, “Teens are looking to the future and exploring the possibilities of the adult they will become. Some space from parents and their family, as they take charge of their own narrative for the first time and look outwards to fitting into society at large, is to be expected. The freedom to explore and experiment with different facets of identity goes hand-in-hand with a need for greater privacy as they navigate their unique sense of independence of thought and behaviour.” Many parents innately recognise and understand this important psycho-social development stage and they have no difficulties in respecting their teens’ need for privacy and clearer boundaries. However, the challenge of keeping teens safe online is presenting a conundrum for many parents, especially those who are actively cultivating trust-based relationships with their increasingly independent children. Mother and tech innovator, Rachelle Best, the founder of AI-based app FYI play it safe, says, “As a parent of a 15 year old daughter, it was unacceptable for me to be scrolling through her online chats. This type of device checking is too invasive, and it erodes trust and happiness in the parent-child relationship. That was my inspiration for the development of a non-invasive monitoring tool that balances the need to protect my daughter while still respecting her right to privacy.” Trusting your teen makes an impact on their development Affording your child privacy is an act of both love and trust which promotes their healthy development. Daya says, “Trusting your teen means you trust them to make good decisions, behave appropriately, and decide what information they need or want to share with you and others. Trust goes both ways. Your child needs to trust that you respect their right to have privacy and a say in decisions about their life. When you and your child have mutual trust, you’ll have better communication. Your child will also be more likely to come to you when they need help. Teens’ development can be positively influenced by a trusting relationship with parents and caregivers as it encourages a growth mindset and builds confidence in their own abilities and sense of responsibility.” A question that parents might ask themselves is: How much privacy is appropriate? Daya suggests a ‘need to know’ yardstick. She explains, “There are some things you need to know, such as where your child is going to be on Saturday night, how they’re getting there and back, and whether there’ll be alcohol or adult supervision. But there are other things that can be private between your child and their friends – for example, what they talked about at a party, or who they danced with.” Practical ways to respect your child’s privacy include: Knocking before going into their room Giving them space to talk with their friends Asking before looking in or getting things out of their school bag Daya says, “It can also help to discuss privacy with your child, set some ground rules and work out some boundaries. These can be changed as your child gets older. You might also want to talk about situations where you’d need to cross the agreed boundaries. For example, this could be when you’re really worried that something isn’t right with your child.” Child’s privacy no-no’s include: Listening to their telephone conversations Looking at things in their room or in their drawers Reading their diary or checking their email account ‘Friending’ them or communicating with them on social media if they don’t want you to Calling them to check on them all the time Balancing privacy and online safety Best recommends a high-quality level of communication with your teen around online safety is the best starting point in protecting them. The conversation about online safety needs to be ongoing, as the digital landscape is ever-changing. Parents have to keep up and be well-educated about risks, trends, digital spaces available to their child and content that they could access. A lack of this knowledge will inevitably lead to anxiety and fears of the unknown and acting in unhelpful ways that your teen may resist, which will in turn erode goodwill in your relationship. The FYI play it safe app continuously stays updated with the ongoing changes and risks, so parents don’t have to know everything all the time. To keep your children safer online, FYI play it safe recommends: Understanding age restrictions on the applications your child uses to give an indication of the type of content that they may encounter. Going through the Ts and Cs of the apps – the apps may seem innocent at first, but you also have to ensure you agree with what the apps are allowed to do with your child’s data and pictures. Activating full privacy settings – this include deactivating location settings, making sure that accounts are always set to “private” instead of public accounts and that strangers are not able to sent them direct messages. Setting up agreed screen time parameters for the family – this could be part of a digital contract between parents and their teens. Making use of parental controls and content filtering. This is a good way to filter content to ensure they don’t encounter anything that is not appropriate for their age. Modelling good digital habits Talking about online safety continuously Add a layer of protection through non-invasive device monitoring Drawing

June 29, 2023

COULD THIS BE ADHD?

With home-schooling becoming the new norm, many parents are now faced with seeing their children in a different role as a student, and they have been forced into becoming the, often ill-equipped, teacher. Some parents are finding this incredibly difficult, and especially those whose children are not getting on with the schoolwork with as much ease as they’d expect.

June 28, 2023

4 Ways Meta’s Family Center helps protect children and teens online

The Internet and social media platforms have evolved into spaces everyone can participate in. More and more young people are coming online to connect with their family and friends over things that matter to them. It’s important for parents to have open and honest dialogues with their teens about online safety, empowering themselves to stay safe online using free tools and resources available. Meta works with experts in mental health, child psychology, digital literacy and more, to build features and tools so people can connect online safely and responsibly. In addition to offering a wide range of online safety and privacy tools across its platforms, Meta’s newly launched Family Center in South Africa, is an online portal that gives power to parents and provides them with the means to safeguard their children and teens. Available across Meta technologies such as Instagram, the Family Center offers tools and resources to manage digital experiences across digital ecosystems. Here are four ways Meta’s Family Center and platforms enable parents to support their children online. 1. Supervision tools By linking Meta accounts, parents can unlock a wide range of supervision tools that let them actively participate in their child’s digital activity. And, while teenagers don’t always think it’s cool that parents are on the app too, having an online presence can be very beneficial. Using Family Center on Instagram, parents can monitor who their teens are following and who follows them, as well as how much they spend on the platform every day. They can also set daily time limits to manage the time spent scrolling. 2. Education Hub Not every parent knows how to approach the topic of online safety, or how to enforce it. That’s why Family Center’s Education Hub is an invaluable resource, providing parents with tips, insight, and comprehensive articles that help them and their families navigate online spaces. Education Hub features expert input from leading parental organisations that specialise in media literacy, safety and communication, privacy, and overall digital well-being. 3. Healthy habits South Africans are hooked on social media platforms, spending an average of three hours and 44 minutes online each day – more than the global average. Spending so much time online can result in us developing habits, which is why it’s vital that young people develop healthy ones. For teens on Instagram, the ‘Take a Break’ feature allows them to make informed decisions and take control of how much time they spend on the app. If a user has spent a certain amount of time scrolling, Instagram will ask them if they want to take a break and suggest setting reminders to take more breaks in the future. In January Meta also introduced Quiet Mode on Instagram, a new feature to help people focus and to encourage them to set boundaries with their friends and followers. For example, when you turn on Quiet Mode, you won’t receive any notifications, your profile’s activity status will change to let people know you’re in Quiet Mode, and Meta will automatically send an auto-reply when someone sends you a DM. Meta is making Quiet Mode available to everyone on Instagram globally in the coming weeks. 4. Privacy by default A big part of being in online spaces is the level of privacy those spaces provide. As such, there should always be privacy safeguards in place that determine what information other users can and cannot see. For instance, Facebook users under the age of 16 are defaulted to certain privacy settings. This includes who can see their friends list, the people and Pages they follow, posts that they’re tagged in, and who can comment on their public posts. These are just some of the ways that platforms like Facebook and Instagram work to maintain online safety and privacy. “It’s only by taking a holistic approach, by offering comprehensive resources and effective methods to set and monitor boundaries, that we can make a real difference in young people’s lives. We want to help them connect and foster relationships in a safe and secure environment,” said Sylvia Musalagani, Safety Policy Manager for Africa, Middle East and Turkey at Meta.

June 28, 2023

Parental Rights and Responsibilities

Parental responsibility is the responsibility to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian of the child, and to contribute to the maintenance of the child. The Children’s Act further sets out that a person may have full or specific parental responsibilities and rights. Full parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may be entitled to all the rights set out in the Act. Specific parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may only have a specific right in terms of the Act; for example, the right to act only as guardian of the child.

May 25, 2023

Tips on how to get your child to do their chores

Do your kids whine and moan about having to help you around the house or yard? Does it seem like pulling teeth to get them to do the smallest of tasks? And if you do assign them some household chore, do they avoid doing it until you are yelling and doling out punishments? If you’re finding yourself in this situation way too often, let me offer some advice. When you think back to your own childhood, you probably hated the thought of having to do your chores too. Why? Because many parents ruled with the “iron hand” of autocracy to ensure that you did what you were told. Most parents today have replaced that unhealthy approach to parenting with more democratic means for raising their children. The bottom line is that when you remove fear from rearing children, you leave room for opinions, feelings, and resistance; all things that get in the way of efficiency. So how do you get kids to do their chores? If you’re using more respectful and democratic parenting methods at home like I am, then the secret is to extend that style of parenting to chores. This means setting things up in advance, incorporating their opinions and ideas, and establishing verbal and written agreements. It also means using respect to get them to follow through when they fall short. As part of your next weekly or bimonthly family meeting, establish the list of chores the grownups will do and ask everyone to help construct a list of all the other chores that need to be done. Listen to your children’s and teen’s ideas on how and when these chores will get done. Draft a schedule that everyone agrees to and consider getting everyone to sign it. If any of your children are extremely resistant and uncooperative, postpone the discussion until the next meeting. Chore assignments will be more effective when you have a unanimous agreement by all family members. It’s also equally important that all chores have an assigned date, time, and schedule for completion. There should be no question as to when it should be done and what the finished job looks like. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of using very specific parameters when getting kids to complete tasks. And most importantly, you do not have an agreement with a child until they utter the words of the entire agreement! Whenever you notice that someone did not complete an assigned and agreed upon chore, commit to NOT coaxing, reminding, or scolding. In fact, do not speak at all! Simply find that child in question and placing your hand on his or her back, gently and lovingly guide them to the location of the chore that wasn’t completed. If they resist and fight your guidance, then something in your relationship with that child needs to be addressed before this follow-up method will work. Finally, I’m often asked at what age a child is old enough to help with chores. My suggestion is that children as young as preschoolers can do some chores, but of course, the task assigned to them must be age and ability appropriate. Getting children this young to cooperate with chores and tasks requires that the assignments be few, simple, easy to do, and implemented with lots of fun, excitement, and praise when successfully completed.

May 24, 2023

HOW TO GET KIDS TO NOT HIDE THEIR MISTAKES

It’s a week night and your child is stressing over a test at school the next day. Your child then tells you that some friends are coming by to pick your child up because they are going to the library to study for this exam. You trust that your teen is being truthful and you watch the car drive away, headed to the town library. But what happens next is a parent’s nightmare. Somewhere between your house and the library, your child’s friends discuss going to a party they heard about on social media that has no adult chaperones. Your teen objects to the idea but in that moment influenced by peer pressure, the group decides to go find that party and your teenager goes along for the ride. Your teen may be thinking that there is still a possibility that the library will be their real and final destination that evening. Later that evening, the party-goers begin pairing off and disappearing in rooms and dark corners of the house. Another teenager begins flirting with yours and the situation gets very uncomfortable. Your child immediately exits the house, sits down on the front steps, and calls you from their cell phone. They admit to you not being at the library, apologise sincerely, and provide you with the address to come pick them up fast. I bet I’d have trouble finding any parent who wouldn’t want this to be the outcome for a similar situation involving their teenager. So, in order for your (future) teen to feel comfortable taking this action in a similar situation, what would be required to exist in your relationship with your child? If you said trust, you’re right. In that trust, your teen would have to feel safe calling and being with you, not feeling fearful of repercussions to admitting they made a mistake, and feeling comfortable calling you for help. Back to the present moment, what can you begin doing now on a daily basis to ensure that your relationship with your children will be built on trust? Here are five things you can begin doing right away. Listen More and Lecture Less. Announce an “open door policy” in your family that your children (and teens) can talk to you anytime, about anything, and without judgment, ridicule, or punishment. Remain Calm if You Catch Them in a Lie. Lying is normal for most children and a natural means of protection from parents who get angry and punitive in reaction to mistakes, poor judgment or misbehaviour. Commit to NOT Yelling. No human, child or adult, enjoys being yelled at. It kills the spirit, fosters fear, and provokes fight or flight; your child or teen will yell back or ‘run away.’ Quell Your Anger. Understand your own emotions and do all you can to manage them. If you’re easily brought to anger, seek out professional counselling. Develop the habit of taking a timeout to cool down before speaking or taking action in the face of your child’s behaviour. Apologise When You Make a Mistake. Tell your family that you are working on learning to be a calmer parent (and spouse). When you make a mistake and yell, spank or punish, take ownership for what you said or did and apologise for it. Provide a ‘make up’ to the recipient of your words or actions and acknowledge the fact that you’re a “work in progress.”

May 23, 2023

3 POWERFUL METHODS FOR HANDLING CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR

When I deliver a live parent lecture, I sometimes ask my audience to raise their hand if their parents used punishment when they misbehaved. Most hands go up, revealing that punishment was a common parenting tool back in the day. Since that time, society has determined that punitive treatment of our children is no longer acceptable. Researchers have also determined that children who are punished are more likely to have low self-esteem and experience depression or even suicidal thoughts as adults. Many of today’s parents also understand how important the experience during the early years of childhood contribute to the success of their children in their adult years. This includes how happy they are, how well they seek out healthy living habits, and how well they are able to select other healthy adults into their lives. So if you want to set your child up for success, here are just a few suggestions on how to handle challenging behaviors with your children. This does not serve as a complete list, but simply a few suggestions to get you started. FIND A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR NEEDS MET. Sometimes a parent is on a mission to accomplish some task and his children are making it difficult by demonstrating uncooperative behavior. Ask yourself, “What fun can I add to this moment that will provide some cooperation. One day I was bound and determined to get the leaves raked up in the yard and my kids did not want to help. Instead of getting angry, yelling and punishing them, I issued a challenge to my three kids: WHOEVER COULD RAKE UP THE LARGES PILE OF LEAVES WOULD GET THROWN INTO IT. The kids immediately ran out into the yard to begin raking. My goal was accomplished GIVE YOUR CHILD A SENSE OF VALUE. A woman shared with me that her son would act out and misbehave whenever she was busy in the kitchen preparing for a big meal for a family gathering. Perhaps the boy felt as if he was competing with the kitchen activities for his mom’s attention. I told her to make a list of all the guests who will be coming to dinner, and have the boy create a drawing on a large 8.5″ x 17″ piece of paper, specifically for each of those individuals. Those drawing will be the placemats placed at each place setting. After the dinner is completed and the dishes are cleared, the little boy gets to explain what each drawing means to the person he drew it for. GIVE YOUR CHILD A CHOICE. Demanding a child to do something immediately doesn’t work in this modern age. It did back when we were young because it was a different time with a different style of parenting. Most of us were raised by autocratic parents who issued demands regularly and we were expected to comply. So instead of issuing commands to your child, give them a choice related to completing the task. Instead of saying, “Go brush your teeth!”, say, “Would you like me to brush your teeth or would you like to do it yourself?”

May 11, 2023

WHAT IS SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER?

Adequate awareness, interpretation and use of sensory information is the cornerstone of all learning and behaviour. Some sensory deficits are easy to recognise, such as poor vision or hearing. Other difficulties are less easy to interpret, as they may result from difficulty with processing stimuli through movement, touch, pressure, position and gravity receptors. Some children may have adequate hearing, smell and eyesight but have trouble with using visual, auditory and olfactory information for function. Sensory Integration is the organisation of sensations for use. The brain locates, sorts and orders sensations- somewhat as a traffic officer directs moving cars. This enables interpretation of our surroundings and helps us form adaptive responses that form the foundation for behaviour and learning. When the flow of sensations is disorganised every second of one’s life can be like a rush hour traffic jam! Messages get jumbled and some don’t reach their destination at all. Improving sensory integrative functioning is like inserting traffic lights that order and control streams of traffic, organising the tangle of cars and roads, and helping the child predict what to do when the traffic gets really bad. School environments can be overwhelming to children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) due to the enormous quantity and variability of incoming sensations. Common difficulties experienced by children with SPD include delayed development of activities of daily living (such as going to the toilet, putting on shoes), delayed milestones, poor fine motor coordination, poor gross motor coordination, poor posture, restlessness, clumsiness, difficulty socialising, anxiety and low self confidence, poor concentration and attention, poor impulse control, avoidance of play ground, very rough play, very active, very labile, slow work speed, difficulty learning letters and numbers, poor handwriting, difficulty with spatial orientation, difficulty following instructions, distractibility. These are only some of the problems that are most frequently experienced by children with minor or major sensory integrative difficulties. Each child’s symptoms, behaviour and academic ability is different. A closer look at how our senses process information: Vision Organ-Eyes Must be able to detect light and movement Must be able to follow moving objects Must be able to focus on one object Must be able to work together or separately (usually 1 eye dominant Visual processing Transmission of visual input to Occipital lobe in brain where information is interpreted. Manipulate visual concepts (figure ground, visual closure, spatial relations, position in space, form constancy) Integrate visual information with movement (Eye hand coordination, visual motor speed, copying) Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information. Hearing Organ- Outer ear, middle ear (ear drum, ossicles), inner ear (Cochlear) Must be able to detect sound Must be able to interpret sound into meaningful information Must be able to accommodate according to noise Auditory processing Transmission of sound to Temporal Lobe and formation of adaptive response Discrimination between loud and soft/high and low/far and near Speech and language reception and expression Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information Integration with movement impulses (semi-circular canals in inner ear) Connection with arousal and attention levels Position and movement Organ- muscles & joints Proprioceptive processing Transmission of information about position and movement of our bodies to the brain stem and cerebellum Automatic adjustment of posture and appropriate contraction/relaxation of muscles Enables subconscious awareness of the position of our limbs in space, and therefore provides foundation for any coordinated movement for function. Predicts self-orientation, self-awareness and in many cases interest and satisfaction in tasks. Gravity, Head Movement & Balance Organ- Semi-circular canals and otoliths in inner ear Vestibular processing Transmission of information about vibration and gravity (Otoliths), movement, acceleration and position of the head (Semicircular canals) to the brain stem, cerebellum and cerebrum. Interpretation of exactly where we are in relation to gravity, how fast we are going, and in what direction. Enable subconscious adjustments needed for balance, posture and movement Interaction and integration with all other impulses travelling up and down the spinal cord. Major influence on emotional and social responses, self regulation, arousal and concentration, self esteem, anxiety etc Types of sensory responses High threshold- need more sensory information than others to experience the same sensation. Child may present as lethargic, disinterested, weak, and spaced out (low registration). Child may present as very active, have poor motor planning, touches things, moves/spins/jumps etc., likes heavy blankets/tight clothing, inattentive, restless, rough during play. Both types are associated with poor body concept, difficulty with fine and gross motor skills, poor self-confidence. Low threshold- are more easily stimulated by sensory stimuli, need less input than others to experience same sensations. Child may present as anxious, avoidant, difficulty eating, poor motor planning, dislike of being messy, behaviour deteriorates in noisy environments, dislike of change, difficulty with attention and concentration, tantrums Common categories of SPD Dyspraxia Bilateral Integration and Sequencing Visual Praxis Modulation (Over-responsive/Under-responsive) What to do for kids with SI difficulties: Be patient. Kids with SPD take longer to develop thing even though their cognitive function may be normal. Allow more time for individuals with SPD to complete tasks (including going to the toilet, understanding a new concept etc.,) within appropriate classroom boundaries. Help them deal with frustrations and difficulties experienced as a result of SPD. Children with SPD often appear naughty, aggressive, oppositional and disengaged and are often associated with hyperactivity. These behaviours are the outcome of deregulation on an electro-chemical level in the brain. Use positive reinforcement for desired behaviours, and accommodations to make the environment more user-friendly’ to the SPD child. Provide a space that is quiet, dark and uncluttered for SPD kids to utilise as a regulatory tool. Explain that this is not a time-out space which is associated with bad behaviour, but a way to help our brains organise themselves again. Tents work well or you can use a desk with a blanket over it or a quiet room. Provide ample opportunity for movement. Engage SPD kids in taking messages, moving furniture, handing out books etc. Encourage SPD kids to engage in active play during break times. Seat SPD kids in the least distracting place in the classroom.

May 9, 2023

Cellphones, social media and your child’s mental wellbeing

Smartphones and tablets are here to stay. In fact, these devices are becoming an integral part of our future and the careers our children will eventually choose. We don’t want to deprive them from participating in the digital world, but as parents, we are concerned about the impact of cell phones, social media, and their online interactions on our children’s mental wellbeing. Also, parents sometimes get stuck thinking about our children as the innocent toddlers and kids they were. The harder reality that we are faced with is that, even when we think they are ‘innocence impersonated’, they are subjected to an amount of peer-pressure and they participate in an online world that we cannot fully comprehend. Our children are exposed to an environment where they are constantly inundated with new apps, new online friends (who they have or have not met), new information and a new way of balancing their digital activity and reality. Although we believe we can relate, we still talk about their “digital” and their “real” lives. The fact is that growing up in this age, children don’t have this distinction. To them, digital is part of their real lives. Let’s sit with that for a bit… Most tweens and teenagers go through a phase of getting stuck in their minds rather than talk about everything. When they encounter events that bother them, whether in person or online, their first port of call may not be their parents. They fear that when they speak up about difficult situations and their parents try to intervene (or interfere), that the situation will get worse. This could happen when they are being bullied or cyberbullied or when they have seen content that their minds can’t really deal with at that age. They may also encounter content such as pornography or sexting that cause them to feel guilt and shame, but remaining curious to engage even more. A significant number of children who are being cyberbullied or are exposed to inappropriate content online unfortunately turn to self-harm as a coping technique. At their age, we can not expect them to have all the emotional tools to help them open up a conversation about how they are feeling and reaching out to someone who can help them. Especially when they are feeling vulnerable and afraid. Sometimes self-harm could lead to suicidal ideation, which is the most scary thought for us, as their parents. When our children are exposed to these situations, they need our help more than ever. They need advice from parents or caregivers to guide them on this journey. But for parents, not knowing when or how this happens means that we can’t protect their minds or their thoughts and unless they talk to us about it, we seldom have any way of knowing. Some parents keep a close eye on all the devices in the home, but with all our time constraints, it is so easy to miss something small that could lead to a bigger issue. Now, more than ever, we have to spend time building better and closer relationships with our children, to ensure they know that we are their safe space. We have to create a space to have conversations about the difficult topics like pornography, sexting, self-harm and bullying, to name a few. We also have to ensure that we have the information at hand to discuss actual difficult situations they encounter, rather than hypothetical scenarios. Where our guidance actively influences the content they search for, post and like on social media. Where we have the opportunity to guide them on who they accept as friends or which messages on chats they react to and more importantly, how they respond. If you are a parent who would really like to know what’s going on in your child’s online conversations, without invading their privacy, join FYI play it safe today. FYI play it safe will send you an alert when your child is exposed to potentially harmful situations. Go to www.fyiplayitsafe.com and start your 7-day free trial.

May 8, 2023

Developing the skill of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Developing a sense of empathy is an important life skill. Young children are naturally ego–centric and tend to think only of themselves and their immediate needs. There are various benefits of being empathetic such as having a greater sense of security and, developing stronger relationships with peers and teachers. It fosters tolerance of others as well as promotes good mental health and social harmony. An empathetic adult displays greater success in professional and personal endeavours, overall happier, develop strong leadership qualities and experiences lower levels of stress.

April 28, 2023

Teach your Teenager to work wisely with money

Children and teenagers have to be shown and taught how to deal with money. We are advised that, ‘The love of money is the root of all evil’. The source of this wisdom is the Book of Timothy in the Bible. This well-known adage is often misquoted as, ‘Money is the root of all
evil’, which does not mean the same at all. It is greed and corruption and the misuse of money which can cause trouble for us, not the
cold, hard cash or credit cards in your wallet

April 28, 2023

Are we doing too much for our children?

As parents, many of us do things for our kids that we were able and expected to do for ourselves as kids. Our parents didn’t feel the need to negotiate with our sports coach, solve our every problem, or entertain us in our free time. A big difference from today, when all too often we are over-involved in many areas of our children’s lives. Sounds funny, I know. How can a parent be too involved or do too much for their child? Isn’t that just being a good parent? But when we don’t expect our kids to take responsibility for chores or their behaviour, and we attempt to smooth away all the bumps and bruises that are a natural part of childhood, we aren’t doing our kids a favour. Instead, we’re bringing them up to avoid taking personal responsibility and to expect that others will take care of things for them – even when they are really able to take care of it themselves. We’re teaching our kids that life is full of unmanageable problems, when what we actually want them to learn are the basic skills to manage those problems. Stepping back and taking on the role of coach and teacher instead of “do-er” and “fixer” was one of the hardest things I had to do as a parent. But it is also one of the best things you can do to help your child build their social and problem-solving skills and at the same time learn responsibility.

April 28, 2023

Child drownings are not seasonal and are almost always preventable

Child drownings happen year-round and PowerPlastics Pool Covers is on a drive to remind parents that these drownings are entirely preventable with multiple layers of safety applied to the pool. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover and adult supervision at all times should be included in these layers of safety at all times. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover offers parental peace of mind as it completely seals off the entire pool. The PVC cover is drawn over strong aluminium batons that rest on the coping, and a tamperproof ratchet fastening system makes it impossible for a small child to access the water. Small drainage holes prevent rain or sprinkler water from collecting on the cover as just a few millimetres of water can be fatal to a curious child. The cover withstands up to 220kg and is easily deployed by two people, or it can be semi-automated for single person usage. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is available in a range of colours, allowing it to blend into the outdoor area. Importantly, the cover complies with the recommended guidelines (SANS 10134) for pool safety, set by the SABS who oversees pool safety compliance in SA. Thermal pool covers or ‘bubble’ covers that lie directly on the water should never be considered as child safety pool covers as they do not bear weight. Aside from covering the pool, every adult in the home needs to know what a drowning in progress actually looks like as TV has created many misconceptions around this. There is no noise or splashing nor calls for help. Drowning is quick and silent. Even if one doesn’t have children, it is still necessary to consider safety for visitors. Families living in residential complexes with a communal pool should insist that their body corporate install a solid safety pool cover. PowerPlastics Pool Covers has also created a Safety Monitor system. Based on the principle that adult supervision is key to avoiding drownings, it allows children to quickly identify the adult in charge should there be a safety issue among the children in the pool. When there’s a larger number of children in the pool, e.g at pool parties, it is advisable to have two or more supervisors each wearing a tag. A busy pool is high risk. You can download it here and print at home. Laminate it if possible (to prevent water damage) and then add a lanyard or tie it on a loop of string and wear around the neck. The bottom line is that children need to be supervised around pools, and as long as the pool is covered and other layers of safety are in place, the likelihood of a tragedy occurring in your pool is greatly reduced. Practical tips for pool safety Don’t let your pool’s water levels drop. Keeping the pool topped up allows for small arms to easily grab the edge if needed. For every two children in the pool, have one adult supervising and use the Saefty Monitor tag system. The more children, the more supervisors needed. Be aware that children’s pool parties are high-risk events. Turn off fountains and water features. Not only do they waste water and power, they can cause ripples and splashing, making it harder to see when a child has encountered difficulty in the pool or has sunk to the bottom. Ensure that every adult in the home knows CPR, including domestic workers. Never hire a baby sitter or au pair who can’t swim. Don’t let anyone who has been drinking or on sedative medication supervise children in a pool. Don’t leave toys in or near an open pool as children will be tempted to retrieve them. Teach your child to swim fully clothed and with shoes on. If your child develops a fear of water, don’t ignore this – a child who panics is at greater risk of drowning. Never allow swimming after dark. Discourage your dogs from swimming. Children and pets in a pool are not a good mix. Never leave the pool without securing it with your PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Never design / build a pool that cannot be secured for child safety. The Vektor Rollup Station brings semi-automation to the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Learn more.

April 18, 2023

The best study snacks and why they work

There are so many things that can distract you from studying. Maybe you have low energy and can’t concentrate. Maybe you’re hungry and that’s pulling focus away from your work. Maybe you’re even struggling with your memory right now due to stress or depression. Food is a good and sustainable way to address all of these factors, alongside daily physical activity and quality sleep. In this article, however, we’re talking about the best study snacks and why they can work for you, in addition to being delicious. 1. Coffee with milk You probably already know that coffee can help increase your energy levels and keep you awake, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to tell you to drink coffee when you have to study late at night (more on that later). Another great thing coffee does is increase the production of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine lifts your mood, making coffee a great option for the beginning of the study session, when you may not feel like getting stuck in. This neurotransmitter also improves focus and boosts concentration, helping you take in more information when you’re learning. Limit your coffee intake to two cups per day and don’t drink any coffee at all after lunchtime. This will prevent caffeine-related anxiety and poor sleep later on. 2. Trail mix Toss together a big bowl of mixed nuts, your favourite dried fruits and small pieces of chopped dark chocolate. Carbohydrates are our brain’s preferred source of energy, so you’re definitely going to want to include them when you’re planning your study snacks. Fruit contains plenty of carbs in the form of sugar, as does dark chocolate, and this often results in a spike in blood sugar (and energy), followed by an energy crash. We use fat to counteract this effect, and that’s where nuts come in. Nuts contain plenty of the good fats, which force the body to digest carbohydrates more slowly when the two are eaten together. This will give you a steady flow of energy for the next couple of hours. And remember, a portion of trail mix is about a quarter cup, so try to stick to that amount at snack time. 3. Popcorn There are so many things to love about popcorn. It’s high in protein, wholegrain carbohydrates and fibre. All of these nutrients work towards sustainable slow-release energy to help you concentrate. They also work together to keep you fuller for longer, so you won’t be distracted by hunger 30 minutes into your study session. Popcorn is also extremely low in calories considering the nutritional value it serves, but only if you prepare it correctly. Stay away from ready-to-microwave popcorn or cooking it on the stove with heaps of butter and oil. Instead, buy a bag of kernels and mix a portion with one or two tablespoons of olive oil and a pinch of salt. Pop them into a brown paper bag and then microwave the popcorn until it’s done. 4. Smoothies Do you want a wholesome filling snack that includes lots of brain foods plus energy-boosting nutrients? A smoothie is the best way to do this. Remember, our brains need carbs for energy, and healthy fats to help our bodies absorb and use that energy more slowly rather than all at once. So we’ll start with those as a base. We love the idea of oats as your main carb option. They blend easily, give smoothies a nice texture and they have a neutral flavour. Milk offers the same smoothie-making benefits, while offering protein and fat. Now that you have your base, it’s time to add brain food! Blueberries have been found to support memory and cognition. The omega fatty acids found in chia seeds, nuts and seeds are great for concentration and overall brain health. L-theanine is a compound found in green tea that increases focus while decreasing anxiety at the same time! Greens like spinach, broccoli and lettuce are about the long game. Eat them regularly for long-term cognitive health throughout your studies, working life and beyond. Dark chocolate (in small amounts) because it’s another food that naturally contains caffeine. 5. Apples and celery with peanut butter We know it sounds weird, especially the celery part, but celery and apples are an amazing combo, and celery and peanut butter are an amazing combo (try it before you deny it). Apples are packed with nutrients and energy in the form of carbs, making it a well-rounded snack when paired with a healthy fat protein like peanut butter. When it comes to celery, recent studies have shown that it can improve memory. The evidence also points towards helping people with depression. If you suffer from depression and find that it is affecting your memory (as it commonly does), adding celery to your diet could help to counter this symptom. We’re excited to see where this research leads! When it comes to peanut butter, you can benefit from all the brain boosting effects its omega fatty acids offer. These include improved memory, cognition, concentration and mood. 6. Veggies and hummus If you’re not a sweet tooth and prefer savoury snacks, what about veggies and hummus? Choose a wide range of veggies in different colours for your energy and nutrients. Serve them with some hummus on the side for dipping to act as your protein and fat source. If you’re a slow snacker, carrots, cucumber, sliced peppers and celery keep (and travel) well, and they all pair well with hummus and each other. 7. Fruit yoghurt ice lollies Have you ever been in a test or an exam, and a teacher pulls out a bag of Fizz Pops or chewy sweets for the class writing? If you have, you’ll probably remember forever how good your memory and concentration were that day. If you look around, you’ll see this everywhere. People chew gum to increase focus during the work day, they bite their nails to concentrate on something they’re reading, snacking on small nibbles throughout a movie feels

April 14, 2023

Cramming versus scheduled studying: What’s happening in your brain?

Have you ever found yourself sitting in an exam or test, knowing how hard you studied the night before, with a question in front of you that you simply just can’t remember the answer to? This happens to everyone, and it has nothing to do with how hard you did or didn’t prepare. What it’s actually all about is how far along the process of encoding memory you had time for. This is why cramming the day before an exam or test can only get you so far. For true mastery that’s about more than passing on the day, you need to learn how to encode the information you’re learning into your long-term memory, and that’s going to take a bit more time. In this article, we’re going to discuss cramming versus long-term study, and what’s going on in your brain along the way. Step 1 – Sensory memory This is the very first stage when it comes to successfully encoding and storing information. When it comes to studying information, the two most common senses we usually use are vision and sound. We see the written or diagrammatic information, we hear it being explained to us, or both at the same time. Sensory memory is tricky because it is mostly there to use and lose information. Let’s think about a maths equation. You see the first line of the equation before you. Your sensory memory holds it in your mind only as long as it takes you to process it and move onto the next step of the equation. Then, it immediately deletes it from your brain. It is normal for sensory memories to last for split seconds before disappearing. Unless something special happens, that is. If you’re driving and see a stop sign, your sensory memory will hold the stop sign in your mind until you have stopped and then moved on. It will then delete that moment. But if you have a car accident at that stop sign, your sensory memory will pass it on to short-term memory, and your brain will hold onto the memory of that stop sign at that time for a longer period. The same goes for studying. Cramming is detrimental to sensory memory firstly because it’s tedious, boring and can be stressful. These are not the kinds of conditions your brain looks for when it wants to make something last. You need time and effort to truly move beyond this first step. Repetition and using multiple senses to learn the same information is your goal. And by repetition, we don’t mean sitting in one spot repeating a sentence over and over until you think you’ll be able to remember it through tomorrow and beyond. When we say repetition, we mean repeated learning of the same subject or topic using different stimuli. Yes, revise your notes from class, but also read blog posts, listen to podcasts, watch videos and (of course) practise past papers. This kind of revision is diverse and makes use of multiple senses, a winning formula for moving what you’re learning into the short-term memory! Step 2 – Short-term memory Short really does mean short here. On average, your short-term memory can only hold information for about 15 seconds. Your brain is always trying to optimise, and that means constantly discarding information it doesn’t think it needs. Short-term memory is often what is used when you are cramming for a test. If you’re trying to remember a list of facts, you’ll probably have found that when you repeat them to yourself later or tomorrow, you’re more likely to remember items from the beginning and end of your study session, but that your recall only gets worse and worse when it comes to what you studied in the middle. This is a sign that the information wasn’t encoded correctly during the short-term memory phase. Information will stay in your short-term memory as long as you’re consciously holding onto it. From there, it will either be moved to working or long-term memory, or deleted. At the beginning of your cramming session, you will be more alert and more energetic. This will better enable you to encode what you’re learning in a meaningful way with practice, using the senses and being able to connect what you’re learning with what’s already stored in your long-term memory. This information is often successfully stored in long-term memory. Towards the end, when you’re tired, you might just begin repeating the information over and over, keeping it in short-term and working memory until you’re done with it after your exam. And whatever was in the middle, well, that’s probably mostly gone by the time you sit down to write. In order to move on from short-term memory, you need to allow yourself the time for not only meaningful and sensory stimulation like in the previous step, but you also need the time to build meaningful connections with what’s already in your long-term memory. This involves starting with the basics, and only moving on once you have something solid in your long-term memory to build upon. Step 4 – Long-term memory EXPLICIT LONG-TERM MEMORY – SEMANTIC When you think of long-term memory, you probably think of all the things you can remember that have happened personally to you in your life. But that’s only one small part (albeit an important one). Semantic memory is a form of explicit long-term memory that is based around factual information. And it is explicit because you make the effort to learn it on purpose (unlike biographical memories). When you are studying, you are successful if what you are learning moves from short-term memory into explicit semantic long-term memory. There is a clue here. For a long time, neuroscientists have been trying to pin down exactly where in the brain semantic long-term memories are stored. And the answer seems to be all over. This has led scientists to believe that within our brains there is a semantic network. And they believe that this is

March 22, 2023

ABOUT TEEN PREGNANCY

Affinity Health, a leading provider of high-quality healthcare, highlights ways to prevent and address teen pregnancy. Teen Pregnancy Rates in South Africa Teen pregnancy is a significant issue in South Africa, with rates of teen pregnancy remaining high. According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), South Africa has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy globally, with nearly one in four girls becoming pregnant before age 20. Various factors such as lack of access to sexual education and contraception, cultural and societal attitudes towards sex, poverty, and lack of access to healthcare increase teenage pregnancy rates. “The latest adolescent pregnancy data from Statistics South Africa shows that 90 037 girls aged 10 to 19 years gave birth from March 2021 to April 2022 across all provinces,” says Murray Hewlett, CEO of Affinity Health. “Addressing teen pregnancy in South Africa will require a multifaceted approach that addresses these underlying issues and supports pregnant and parenting teens.” By implementing these ten strategies suggested by Affinity Health, we can all work towards reducing teen pregnancy rates and improving outcomes for teens and their children. Provide Comprehensive Sex Education in Schools Studies have shown that comprehensive sex education can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. According to a review of sex education programmes by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), programmes that include information on both contraception and abstinence can help reduce rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) among teens. Improve Access to Contraception Improved access to contraception can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. This can include increasing funding for family planning clinics and ensuring that teens have access to affordable and effective methods of contraception. Increase Awareness of The Risks of STIs According to the CDC, teens are at increased risk of STIs, including HIV. By raising awareness of the dangers of STIs, teens may be more likely to use contraception to reduce their risk of infection. Address Poverty and Lack of Access to Healthcare Teens who live in poverty or lack access to healthcare are at increased risk of unintended pregnancy. By addressing these socioeconomic concerns, we can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. Promote Healthy Relationships and Communication Teenagers with healthy relationships and good communication skills are less likely to become pregnant. Essentially, we can help reduce rates of teen pregnancy when we improve healthy relationships and communication amongst teens. Support Parenting Teens Teens who become parents are at increased risk of poor outcomes, including dropping out of school and living in poverty. By supporting parenting teens, we can help improve outcomes for both teens and their children. Encourage Father Involvement Father involvement can positively impact both the child and the mother. When we encourage father involvement, we improve future outcomes for both teens and their children. Address Societal Attitudes and Stereotypes Societal attitudes and stereotypes about teen pregnancy can contribute to the problem. By addressing these attitudes and stereotypes, we can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. Provide Support for Pregnant and Parenting Teens Pregnant and parenting teens need support, such as access to healthcare, education, and other services. Encourage Community Involvement Community involvement can be an effective way to prevent teen pregnancy. By encouraging community involvement, we can help reduce rates of teen pregnancy.

March 3, 2023

Tackle adult & teen acne effectively to stay in the clear

Tackling acne effectively means finding a skincare solution that keeps skin healthy, and spot free, naturally. From teen through to adulthood, acne can mar our skin, plague our thoughts and push us to develop bad habits that lead us to squeeze ‘just a little bit’ at the most untimorous moments, such as when we are about to leave for an important event. The stress induced habits of squeezing and popping acne only leads to the breaking of your delicate facial skin surface, causing bleeding and swelling and turning spots and blemishes into angry irritated welts, that make matters worse. It is especially important we don’t touch, poke or fiddle with our face as our fingers carry on average 3 200 different germs belonging to more than 150 species according to Pfizer regarding the importance of clean hands. What to do to manage that irritating acne? #1 Hydrate: Acne responds well to regular and deep hydration. It’s important to keep a healthy regular schedule of cleansing your body and problem acne areas twice a day and after sweating. Follow up with applying hydration to your skin that is not greasy but instead soothing and natural. #2 Natural Effect: Any hydrating solution applied to acne should be 100% natural, without the additives and chemicals of treatments and lotions. Blemish busting BaoCare CLEAR is a gentle, yet effective serum for skin flare-ups of all kinds, including adult acne. A light, non-oily serum made from the baobab tree, it is free of artificial additives and helpful for both teens and more mature skins, formulated with a synergistic combination of tea tree and evening primrose for their anti-microbial properties, which not only heals acne but lightens dark spots as well. #3 Food Friendly: Be mindful of the type of foods you are fuelling your body with, listen to your body’s language and become aware of foods that cause allergies and reactions. Reach for leafy greens and water high-content foods such as watermelons (just in time to be enjoyed on warm Spring days), snack on a cucumber, add tomatoes to stews, and crunch your way through celery, apples and oranges wherever possible. #4 Hydrate again on the inside: Drink clear water daily to help your body’s systems function and flow, flushing toxins out the bowel so your body does not have to send toxins out though the skin dermis. EVE OF THE PARTY ACNE NIGHTMARE: If you are faced with an angry blemish on your face on the eve of a special event, do not touch the blemish, bump or spot as this will induce further swelling. Apply BaoCare CLEAR Baobab oil serum to hydrate and soothe the acne and then cover up with a light dab in the area with a naturally matched cosmetic base to camouflage the red, angry welt. And yes, it’s okay for guys to do this too. After your night out remember to do your evening clean and hydration routine adding BaoCare CLEAR Skincare once again onto your clean skin as a rapidly absorbed moisturizer that will not block pores and help to soothe any flare ups. #6 Facial Trims: Shaving rash can be treated in the same way, as BaoCare CLEAR leaves your face soft and deeply saturated through natural baobab serum moisturisation. #7 Zen Skincare Moments: We could all do with a little less stress, and it is usually when we are stressed and out of our cleaning routine that acne makes its appearance. Make a point of stressing less by adding a simple breathing routine to calm and centre you as you do your cleaning regime and apply hydration to your skin’s acne. Try the 5-5-5 routine of breathing in through your nose for the count of 5, holding you breathe for the count of 5 and releasing your breath through the mouth to the count of 5 to calm mind and body. See your self-care routine each morning and night as an act of self-love for taking action and addressing your acne problem so you can go out and shine in the world with a clear, blemish and acne free skin once again. #BeBaocareWise Available for online purchase at www.baocare.co.za , Faithful to Nature and Wellness Warehouse. Baocare 50ml R187 Baocare 10ml R48 BaoCare Skin Rescue Kit R220.00

November 17, 2022

Handling Childhood Illness Effectively

Most parents know that during the course of raising a child you will have to deal with different bouts of illness. Here is some information, from Bonitas Medical Fund, which should help you to manage common early childhood illnesses successfully.

October 24, 2022

PUTTING YOUR KIDS ON A PATH TO GOOD NUTRITION

For many parents, nothing is as stressful as getting your kids to eat all the food on their plate, especially when it comes to veggies. Eating a variety of healthy foods is essential for your children’s wellbeing. Here are some tips on how to get your kids to eat better.

October 17, 2022

Mental barriers to studying

Studying is tough and many learners see it as one of the worst aspects of their lives. Most learners have the potential to excel at school, but most do not because of how unpleasant they find studying. For this reason, it is not enough to equip your child with the resources they need to study, but to also identify and address their state of mind. Below are three common psychological barriers that a learner may face. They are presented in the order that they are likely to unfold. Lacking Focus “I struggle to get my child to sit down and study.” This is very common and very natural. The benefits of studying and doing well at school are still a long way off from their point of view, or not even apparent. Socialising and entertainment are typically more appealing for a high school teenager. How this becomes an issue is not that they won’t start studying, but rather that they become discouraged easily. Often the phrase, “I’m bored of this”, is actually covering up, “I don’t know how to do this, so I’d rather be doing something else.” At this point, they will quickly turn to something that they know they will enjoy. To mitigate this, you need to have a plan in place to help your child each time they get stuck. This could include hiring a private tutor or using Paper Video. Feeling lost “My child doesn’t know where to start, they are so lost.” This is a common feeling of hopelessness in learners. The feeling that so much has rushed past them that there is no hope left for a recovery. I recall feeling this many times when I was in school and university, and you may as well. The truth is that they are never as lost as what they think they are. The reality is that it is not about finding a starting point but committing to daily revision over the course of months, not 2 weeks before the final exams. Then, your child must not start off by trying to go through whole past papers. This will only worsen the situation. What they must do is start out by identifying the topic that they are most familiar with and start working on easy questions under this topic. The Paper Video platform allows your child to search on a topic name and set the difficulty of question they want to practice. Once they are confident in that section, they can move to the next most familiar section. It is a slow and steady process, but it works. It is like the saying goes; how do you eat an elephant?… One bite at a time. Giving up “My child has given up because they are too far behind.” This is not an easy situation to deal with as it comes with a spectrum of severity. The worst-case scenario is that they need to repeat a year. However, while a high percentage of children feel this way, only a very small percentage are actually this far behind. More often, immediate daily revision can turn this situation around within a month (daily intensive revision is not sustainable in the long run but is required over a few weeks to turn a bad situation around). The challenge now, however, is where to start? The best approach is to start with easy practice questions within each section. Divide past exam papers up into their different sections and spend one day on each section doing the easy questions. On Paper Video, this can be done via our search functionality and by selecting the difficulty level 1 filter. The next step might sound counter-intuitive, but after your child has gone through all sections, get them to spend some more time on the section for which they felt strongest. However, this time they should attempt difficulty level 2 questions. The reason for this is to build confidence as quickly as possible. Once your child is confident taking on level 2 questions in one section, they will have a strong foundation for that section and feel more confident to head into more uncertain territory. They should now move on to their next strongest section and repeat. As this process continues, they should not worry about moving up to difficulty level 3 questions. These represent a relatively small portion of the exam and are best practiced once your child feels like they have mastered most of the subject. Each one of these barriers is challenging to overcome. There is a good chance that your child may have to overcome all three before regaining control of their studying. This in itself will be exhausting for them and adds a fourth ‘meta-barrier’ to the process. Speak to your child about these barriers, preparing them for each sinking feeling they may encounter, and what to do. Reassure them that if they stick to a consistent studying routine, they will get on top of their work. The reward for them mastering their studies goes beyond good grades, it will develop their confidence to face seemingly insurmountable challenges. This achievement will stay with them for life.

September 29, 2022

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