Tween & Teen - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

GLOBALLY TEEN DEPRESSION REACHES AN ALL-TIME HIGH

Depression has become the leading cause of illness and disability among adolescents worldwide, which in most cases go undetected and untreated, increasing the risk of suicide. Abdurahman Kenny, Mental Health Portfolio Manager for Pharma Dynamics says while teen mental health was already declining prior to COVID-19, the pandemic created conditions that exacerbated feelings of sadness and hopelessness. “Disruptions to routines, missed milestones, extended school disruptions, prolonged social isolation, fear and anxiety over health and finances have without doubt taken a cumulative toll on the mental well-being of youth. Extraordinary stress and disruption as experienced during the pandemic can be very damaging for a child’s psyche that typically thrives on routine and predictability.” The study found older children to be impacted more severely than younger ones, likely because of puberty, hormonal changes, and lack of social interaction. Girls were more prone to depression and anxiety than boys, which align with studies from before the pandemic. Kenny explains that depression, anxiety and behavioural disorders are among the most common mental health concerns in youth. “Depressive symptoms, such as sadness, loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy, disturbed sleep, changes in appetite, lack in concentration, irritability, low energy or little motivation to do anything, risky or harmful behaviour, substance abuse and feeling hopeless for weeks on end can lead to suicide ideation if not properly addressed.” In South Africa, where we have limited mental health resources, it’s important for parents to become more aware of behavioural changes in their children in order to provide them with the right support. Here’s what you can do as a parent: 1. Be there for your child. Show empathy and understanding – even if they don’t want to talk to you or do much of anything. Depression makes even doing the smallest of tasks difficult. Validate their emotions, but not their unhealthy behaviour. Ask questions about their mood in a non-threatening way. Don’t be judgemental or try to solve their problems, just listen to what they are saying and let them know that you are there for them, while showing compassion for what they’re going through. 2. Focus on the positive. Compliment them on the positive things they do – even if it’s just going to school, setting the dinner table or helping with the dishes. Try not to belabour their negative points, but rather acknowledge that they’re trying. They don’t want to feel this way. If they could snap out of it, they would, but depression doesn’t work that way. Showing love and appreciation for the little things they do well, will strengthen your relationship. 3. Encourage self-care. While it may be difficult for your teen to look after themselves while they’re feeling depressed, it’s vitally important. Getting regular exercise, eating healthy meals, sleeping enough, participating in sports and wholesome hobbies that make them feel good about themselves, limiting screen time and social media use, practising gratitude by keeping a journal, encouraging social interaction, setting achievable goals are all things they can do that will improve their mood and self-esteem. 4. Set boundaries. Healthy boundaries are essential for youth to form positive relationships with others. Setting these limits create physical and emotional safety for your teen, so they know what is acceptable and what is not. Even when they are depressed, rules should be respected. 5. Get them the help they need. Discuss going to a therapist if their mood doesn’t improve. If they don’t want to go, ask in what way you can help. If they tell you to back off, don’t retaliate with anger. It might just be their way of telling you they need space. Accept their response and give them some more time to think about it. If they don’t come back to you, ask your GP to recommend a few therapists. Then put the suggested therapists to your teen and ask them to make a choice. It’s important to make them feel involved in the process, which sets the stage for effective therapy. Kenny says there are several kinds of therapy that might be helpful. “These include interpersonal therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behavioural therapy, which all play a role in the recovery process. However, a thorough assessment should be done by a psychiatrist in order to recommend the most appropriate treatment for your child. “Teenagers with depression may also benefit from medication, such as anti-depressants, but the best results are usually obtained when combining medicine with psychotherapy (talking with a therapist). That said, your teen has to be committed to therapy, therefore finding the right therapist that your child can connect with is key.” He says while challenging behaviour tends to be the norm for teenagers, parents should be on the lookout for signs of depression as early detection and treatment are crucial. For more info on how to manage depression, visit mydynamics.co.za or contact Pharma Dynamics’ toll-free helpline on 0800 205 026, which is manned by trained counsellors who are on call from 8am to 8pm, seven days a week.

August 4, 2023

A bedtime routine for the family

My kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old and I wanted to help moms out with an idea of what your evenings could look like with a consistent routine that your children can know and become used to. By knowing what to expect, as each night is more or less the same, my kids don’t argue or negotiate what to do or not do, as we have done the routine since they were babies. We have dinner when dad gets home from work around 5:00/5:30 p.m. After dinner, we do some sort of activity, which usually lasts for 15−20 minutes. We either go outside and play, throw the ball for our dog, swing or jump on the trampoline (the kids, not us adults!). Or, on long summer days, we go for a walk around the block. After this, we go inside and all three kids jump into the bath at around 18:00/18:15 p.m. While they bath, I get their clothing ready – nappy for little one and PJs. I set up their essential-oil owl diffusers (I find this is super helpful with snotty noses and change of season as well as dry air) and take the towels back to the bathroom, while dad stands in the doorway watching them. They play and the splashing often gets a little out of hand; we wash them and then wrangle them out the bath by 18:30 p.m. We apply cream, do meds and get dressed. We then all read a story or two (sometimes three, if they get their way) on one bed. After the story, it is lights out. We all say good night and my husband often sits with the older two for a few minutes (my 4- and 6-year olds share a room, each with their own bed) and I take our 2-year old to bed. I tuck her in with her bunny and also sit with her or stand by the door for a few minutes. Most nights, all the kids are asleep by 7:00 p.m. In summer, we put the fans are on, which helps with a bit of white noise, and in winter, we have wall heaters to take the chill off the air. I dress my kids in warm fleece onesies in winter because they generally do not sleep under their blankets, and before I go to bed myself each night, I check on them and put a blanket over them, as being cold can cause early wakings with babies and children. When they were smaller they still had sleeping bags. We try keep our bedtime routine, from bath to lights out, within 30 minutes. Research shows that our body’s melatonin is at its highest point within 30 minutes of having had warm water on our bodies, and I have seen that this really does help my kids calm down and get sleepy. With only one child, you can really create a SPA type of environment with dimmed lights and calming music. But as they grow and are more mobile or when you start to have more kids in the bath-time routine, it is quite unrealistic to expect your kids to not splash and be loud at bath time. Having a consistent routine allows my children to know what is coming next and that bedtime with lights off is at the end of the routine. To summarise: WHY a bedtime routine is needed: A consistent bedtime routine is vital for good sleep health, for both children and adults. The consistency of a bedtime routine helps your baby or child prepare for sleep and to know that sleep is coming. It also helps with melatonin production. WHEN a bedtime routine should be done: If you aim for bedtime to be between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., you need to aim for 30 minutes before that. HOW a bedtime routine should be done: I love reading that “a bedtime routine should be relaxing and a SPA-like environment should be created” (at Good Night, we even used to advocate this). And yes, that is a lovely idea and would help with prepping the brain for sleep and allow your baby to feel super relaxed and calm. It could also be achievable when you have only one child, but throw three children in the bath together and the noise and atmosphere will be more like varsity-locker-room vibes than a SPA. Load shedding added to the mix can spice up your night, especially as it is getting darker earlier as winter approaches. I use a lamp to have light in the bathroom. I also need to be a little more prepared with turning our geyser on earlier so our water is warm and making sure the clothing is out so I don’t need to use my cell phone flashlight to find the PJs in the dark. But my kids are so used to load shedding that it doesn’t cause too many issues; they just know that we need to then tell and not read a story in the dark. Below are just the basic points of what a bedtime routine can look like. Bedtime routine: Bath Dress in PJs Read a story Hugs and kisses Lights off Being able to have all three of our children bath and do their bedtime routine together was what we wanted as a family, firstly to create a time of bonding and secondly for practical reasons. When my husband works late, I need to be able to independently bath and put to bed all three of my kids together and bathing and dressing them one by one is way too exhausting and drawn out. Having all three of our kids bath together works for us, even though that creates lots of noise, wet floors and chaos. We embrace the chaos and noise and allow the warm water temperature to do its work on the brain (temperature change signals the brain to release melatonin) regardless of the splashing and loud fun being had by all three children. By Megan

August 2, 2023

Programs that are changing the lives of young men

There is something special about being in the wilds of Africa. Sitting around a campfire with friends, climbing to the peak of a misty mountain, watching elephants graze the marula trees of the lowveld. Everyone should have the opportunity to see the sunrise over the African bushveld and experience that feeling of how magical life is. We all know that young men and women develop differently, and for each to become successful in their own right requires them to encounter different obstacles at varying points in their life. For young men there have been after school gap year programs and back in the day there was the army, all designed to teach young men how to overcome adversities in life and work hard for something. There hasn’t been anything for young men still in high school. This is interesting as ensuring a young man is adequately set up for life and will strive to find success in all aspects of life, is best accomplished through moulding his ideals during his transformational teenage years. In what Daniel J. Levinson (a psychologist from the 60’s) dubbed “the early adulthood transitional phase”, it is noted that a young man goes through more changes between 14-18 than in other period of his life, it is also now clear that although a person can constantly change, the ideals and values that are formed for a young man in that early adulthood transitional phase are the values that they carry with them for life. Young men in today’s modern world need to learn the values of tenacity, fortitude, humility, integrity and self-discipline all before they leave school. Because by the time they leave and go into university or the professional working world they need to have established ideals that continually allow them to stand out, to achieve more and to rise above the rest. Young men only gain these values, values which ultimately shape their identity, through overcoming adversities, learning the true power of reflection, receiving difficult feedback from their peers and by being guided by a mentor that knows how to bring out the best attributes in them. It is through the creation of a strong identity, founded on strong morals that young men pave their way to becoming highly successful wherever they go and in whatever they do. Angus Lowe, an adventurer and educator, has designed exactly that. Programs and camps for young men between the ages of 15-19 to help young men discover their identity, gain their independence, transform attitudes and perspectives and create momentum towards success. “No matter where life takes you, you’ll naturally rise to the top and find your own personal success.” – Angus Lowe Not only are the locations for these camps incredible but the activities are amazing too. With camps in the greater Kruger park area, on an island in the Zambezi river and a third one on a private Mozambique lagoon it is difficult to beat providing young men with such unique and exciting places to go. While on these camps there is the chance to do everything from white water rafting and deep sea fishing to rock climbing and paintball all the while Angus helps facilitate and guide young men on their development journey of creating values that will shape their identities. “These are programs designed to help guide and facilitate young men in their transition from boyhood into manhood.” With a core focus on values for modern men, discovering their own identity, maturing their independence, finding a sense of purpose and real life skills for every young man. These programmes are designed to foster, develop and grow each young man into rising above the rest and being leaders, forward thinkers, titans of industries and all round balanced successful happy men in every aspect of their lives. These programs take young men to some of the most beautiful locations in Southern Africa and provide them with the guided opportunity to overcome their insecurities and flourish. To test their limits and push the boundaries of their comfort zone to find the point where their adversities become their successes. The programs and Angus facilitate this life changing experience for each young man to shape his future, while forging lifelong friendships, learning valuable skills, creating a love for conservation and nature, enjoying beautiful exclusive locations and having the time of their life making memories they will never forget. It has been long proven that only through adversity do men attain certain qualities. While writing for Forbes Magazine Paula Davis says that adversity can develop these qualities in people; Renewed appreciation for life, Enhanced personal strength, Stronger more meaningful relationships, Spiritual growth and Recognising new paths for your life. By going through one of Angus’ programmes a young man will also; Create and enhance his leadership abilities Discover ones purpose and who they are meant to be Improve their communication and social skills Increase their ability to adapt to change Grow their confidence Give them greater self-belief and acknowledgement of their own capabilities Increase in their resilience and determination Create an optimistic outlook on life with a positive attitude The Programs Our foundational Askari program is a 21 day program located in the Greater Kruger park region. It focuses on Identity development and young men being able to gain their independence through the creation of this identity and moulding of core values. Young men will learn more about themselves, who they want to be and where they want to go in life in these 21 days than they will through the traditional schooling system. Designed to make young men into the best possible men they can be, they will experience everything from learning archery and rock climbing to working with the world’s foremost elite anti-poaching unit and being involved in true conservation all at the same time being able to go on regular game drives where they could see the Big 5 and more. The Sakazima program (Located on an island in the middle of the Zambezi river) transforms

July 13, 2023

Why teach your children to be a team player?

A team player is constantly reliable day in and day out, not just some of the time. You can count on them to get the job done, meet deadlines, keep their word and provide consistent quality work. Learning to work in a team is undoubtedly one of the most important skills that one can learn and has been identified as a crucial component of 21st century learning. As a result, many schools and curricula have placed a renewed emphasis on group-work and collaboration to equip students with these vital skills. The elements of being a team player are varied and great in number. The trust factor is undeniably at the heart of all things related to teamwork. Having the faith to delegate tasks and allowing individuals the freedom to make decisions requires a great degree of trust. It boils down to putting your fate and that of the team’s in the hands of others. Other vital components include commitment to the team-goal, selflessness and an ability to compromise. Ultimately, it is about putting the group ahead of yourself. Consequently, it remains my firm belief that the sports field remains one of the most effective “classrooms” in terms of learning to be a team player. Having to cope with the teams expectations and being responsible for motivating your teammates while having to cope with your own inner doubts are daunting at the best of times. These demands are often magnified by the fact that the sporting contest often takes place in the public arena thereby increasing the fear of failure. Unsurprisingly many of our strongest and most character building memories revolve around these sporting moments be they making the last-ditch tackle to stop a try, scoring the winning goal or consoling a teammate after their mistake cost the team. These moments often have an impact on our self-confidence and character long after the occasion has passed and often serve to inspire us to even greater things. It is undeniable that being part of a team does leave one vulnerable as it takes the individual out of their comfort zone. This aspect makes teamwork both challenging and rewarding. To celebrate an achievement brought about by a united effort remains one of the greatest sensations and allows us a bonding experience with our fellow people that is irreplaceable. It remains my firm belief that teamwork remains one of humanity’s greatest assets and its unlimited potential will undoubtedly be vital in overcoming our political, economic and social challenges that currently beset our world. By: Farone Eckstein, Principal of Trinityhouse High Randpark Ridge

June 30, 2023

WHY YOUR TEEN NEEDS PRIVACY

As parents we feel a certain pride when our teens stake out their rights to more and more autonomy. After all, it’s a natural and necessary evolution from childhood to adulthood, a signifier that our ‘child is alright’ and that we are doing a ‘good enough’ job at parenting. However, as our teens carve out more independence for themselves in a world complicated by a vast digital realm that holds both known and unknown dangers, many parents are feeling compelled to put safety first in ways that can compromise their child’s privacy. Why is privacy so important to teens? Adolescence, the transition from childhood to adulthood, is marked by developing independence and identity. Lekha Daya, a Counselling Psychologist and Senior Psychologist for the Panda app, a provider of free and low-cost mental healthcare in South Africa, says, “Teens are looking to the future and exploring the possibilities of the adult they will become. Some space from parents and their family, as they take charge of their own narrative for the first time and look outwards to fitting into society at large, is to be expected. The freedom to explore and experiment with different facets of identity goes hand-in-hand with a need for greater privacy as they navigate their unique sense of independence of thought and behaviour.” Many parents innately recognise and understand this important psycho-social development stage and they have no difficulties in respecting their teens’ need for privacy and clearer boundaries. However, the challenge of keeping teens safe online is presenting a conundrum for many parents, especially those who are actively cultivating trust-based relationships with their increasingly independent children. Mother and tech innovator, Rachelle Best, the founder of AI-based app FYI play it safe, says, “As a parent of a 15 year old daughter, it was unacceptable for me to be scrolling through her online chats. This type of device checking is too invasive, and it erodes trust and happiness in the parent-child relationship. That was my inspiration for the development of a non-invasive monitoring tool that balances the need to protect my daughter while still respecting her right to privacy.” Trusting your teen makes an impact on their development Affording your child privacy is an act of both love and trust which promotes their healthy development. Daya says, “Trusting your teen means you trust them to make good decisions, behave appropriately, and decide what information they need or want to share with you and others. Trust goes both ways. Your child needs to trust that you respect their right to have privacy and a say in decisions about their life. When you and your child have mutual trust, you’ll have better communication. Your child will also be more likely to come to you when they need help. Teens’ development can be positively influenced by a trusting relationship with parents and caregivers as it encourages a growth mindset and builds confidence in their own abilities and sense of responsibility.” A question that parents might ask themselves is: How much privacy is appropriate? Daya suggests a ‘need to know’ yardstick. She explains, “There are some things you need to know, such as where your child is going to be on Saturday night, how they’re getting there and back, and whether there’ll be alcohol or adult supervision. But there are other things that can be private between your child and their friends – for example, what they talked about at a party, or who they danced with.” Practical ways to respect your child’s privacy include: Knocking before going into their room Giving them space to talk with their friends Asking before looking in or getting things out of their school bag Daya says, “It can also help to discuss privacy with your child, set some ground rules and work out some boundaries. These can be changed as your child gets older. You might also want to talk about situations where you’d need to cross the agreed boundaries. For example, this could be when you’re really worried that something isn’t right with your child.” Child’s privacy no-no’s include: Listening to their telephone conversations Looking at things in their room or in their drawers Reading their diary or checking their email account ‘Friending’ them or communicating with them on social media if they don’t want you to Calling them to check on them all the time Balancing privacy and online safety Best recommends a high-quality level of communication with your teen around online safety is the best starting point in protecting them. The conversation about online safety needs to be ongoing, as the digital landscape is ever-changing. Parents have to keep up and be well-educated about risks, trends, digital spaces available to their child and content that they could access. A lack of this knowledge will inevitably lead to anxiety and fears of the unknown and acting in unhelpful ways that your teen may resist, which will in turn erode goodwill in your relationship. The FYI play it safe app continuously stays updated with the ongoing changes and risks, so parents don’t have to know everything all the time. To keep your children safer online, FYI play it safe recommends: Understanding age restrictions on the applications your child uses to give an indication of the type of content that they may encounter. Going through the Ts and Cs of the apps – the apps may seem innocent at first, but you also have to ensure you agree with what the apps are allowed to do with your child’s data and pictures. Activating full privacy settings – this include deactivating location settings, making sure that accounts are always set to “private” instead of public accounts and that strangers are not able to sent them direct messages. Setting up agreed screen time parameters for the family – this could be part of a digital contract between parents and their teens. Making use of parental controls and content filtering. This is a good way to filter content to ensure they don’t encounter anything that is not appropriate for their age. Modelling good digital habits Talking about online safety continuously Add a layer of protection through non-invasive device monitoring Drawing

June 29, 2023

COULD THIS BE ADHD?

With home-schooling becoming the new norm, many parents are now faced with seeing their children in a different role as a student, and they have been forced into becoming the, often ill-equipped, teacher. Some parents are finding this incredibly difficult, and especially those whose children are not getting on with the schoolwork with as much ease as they’d expect.

June 28, 2023

4 Ways Meta’s Family Center helps protect children and teens online

The Internet and social media platforms have evolved into spaces everyone can participate in. More and more young people are coming online to connect with their family and friends over things that matter to them. It’s important for parents to have open and honest dialogues with their teens about online safety, empowering themselves to stay safe online using free tools and resources available. Meta works with experts in mental health, child psychology, digital literacy and more, to build features and tools so people can connect online safely and responsibly. In addition to offering a wide range of online safety and privacy tools across its platforms, Meta’s newly launched Family Center in South Africa, is an online portal that gives power to parents and provides them with the means to safeguard their children and teens. Available across Meta technologies such as Instagram, the Family Center offers tools and resources to manage digital experiences across digital ecosystems. Here are four ways Meta’s Family Center and platforms enable parents to support their children online. 1. Supervision tools By linking Meta accounts, parents can unlock a wide range of supervision tools that let them actively participate in their child’s digital activity. And, while teenagers don’t always think it’s cool that parents are on the app too, having an online presence can be very beneficial. Using Family Center on Instagram, parents can monitor who their teens are following and who follows them, as well as how much they spend on the platform every day. They can also set daily time limits to manage the time spent scrolling. 2. Education Hub Not every parent knows how to approach the topic of online safety, or how to enforce it. That’s why Family Center’s Education Hub is an invaluable resource, providing parents with tips, insight, and comprehensive articles that help them and their families navigate online spaces. Education Hub features expert input from leading parental organisations that specialise in media literacy, safety and communication, privacy, and overall digital well-being. 3. Healthy habits South Africans are hooked on social media platforms, spending an average of three hours and 44 minutes online each day – more than the global average. Spending so much time online can result in us developing habits, which is why it’s vital that young people develop healthy ones. For teens on Instagram, the ‘Take a Break’ feature allows them to make informed decisions and take control of how much time they spend on the app. If a user has spent a certain amount of time scrolling, Instagram will ask them if they want to take a break and suggest setting reminders to take more breaks in the future. In January Meta also introduced Quiet Mode on Instagram, a new feature to help people focus and to encourage them to set boundaries with their friends and followers. For example, when you turn on Quiet Mode, you won’t receive any notifications, your profile’s activity status will change to let people know you’re in Quiet Mode, and Meta will automatically send an auto-reply when someone sends you a DM. Meta is making Quiet Mode available to everyone on Instagram globally in the coming weeks. 4. Privacy by default A big part of being in online spaces is the level of privacy those spaces provide. As such, there should always be privacy safeguards in place that determine what information other users can and cannot see. For instance, Facebook users under the age of 16 are defaulted to certain privacy settings. This includes who can see their friends list, the people and Pages they follow, posts that they’re tagged in, and who can comment on their public posts. These are just some of the ways that platforms like Facebook and Instagram work to maintain online safety and privacy. “It’s only by taking a holistic approach, by offering comprehensive resources and effective methods to set and monitor boundaries, that we can make a real difference in young people’s lives. We want to help them connect and foster relationships in a safe and secure environment,” said Sylvia Musalagani, Safety Policy Manager for Africa, Middle East and Turkey at Meta.

June 28, 2023

Parental Rights and Responsibilities

Parental responsibility is the responsibility to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian of the child, and to contribute to the maintenance of the child. The Children’s Act further sets out that a person may have full or specific parental responsibilities and rights. Full parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may be entitled to all the rights set out in the Act. Specific parental responsibilities and rights means that a person may only have a specific right in terms of the Act; for example, the right to act only as guardian of the child.

May 25, 2023

Tips on how to get your child to do their chores

Do your kids whine and moan about having to help you around the house or yard? Does it seem like pulling teeth to get them to do the smallest of tasks? And if you do assign them some household chore, do they avoid doing it until you are yelling and doling out punishments? If you’re finding yourself in this situation way too often, let me offer some advice. When you think back to your own childhood, you probably hated the thought of having to do your chores too. Why? Because many parents ruled with the “iron hand” of autocracy to ensure that you did what you were told. Most parents today have replaced that unhealthy approach to parenting with more democratic means for raising their children. The bottom line is that when you remove fear from rearing children, you leave room for opinions, feelings, and resistance; all things that get in the way of efficiency. So how do you get kids to do their chores? If you’re using more respectful and democratic parenting methods at home like I am, then the secret is to extend that style of parenting to chores. This means setting things up in advance, incorporating their opinions and ideas, and establishing verbal and written agreements. It also means using respect to get them to follow through when they fall short. As part of your next weekly or bimonthly family meeting, establish the list of chores the grownups will do and ask everyone to help construct a list of all the other chores that need to be done. Listen to your children’s and teen’s ideas on how and when these chores will get done. Draft a schedule that everyone agrees to and consider getting everyone to sign it. If any of your children are extremely resistant and uncooperative, postpone the discussion until the next meeting. Chore assignments will be more effective when you have a unanimous agreement by all family members. It’s also equally important that all chores have an assigned date, time, and schedule for completion. There should be no question as to when it should be done and what the finished job looks like. I cannot emphasise enough the importance of using very specific parameters when getting kids to complete tasks. And most importantly, you do not have an agreement with a child until they utter the words of the entire agreement! Whenever you notice that someone did not complete an assigned and agreed upon chore, commit to NOT coaxing, reminding, or scolding. In fact, do not speak at all! Simply find that child in question and placing your hand on his or her back, gently and lovingly guide them to the location of the chore that wasn’t completed. If they resist and fight your guidance, then something in your relationship with that child needs to be addressed before this follow-up method will work. Finally, I’m often asked at what age a child is old enough to help with chores. My suggestion is that children as young as preschoolers can do some chores, but of course, the task assigned to them must be age and ability appropriate. Getting children this young to cooperate with chores and tasks requires that the assignments be few, simple, easy to do, and implemented with lots of fun, excitement, and praise when successfully completed.

May 24, 2023

HOW TO GET KIDS TO NOT HIDE THEIR MISTAKES

It’s a week night and your child is stressing over a test at school the next day. Your child then tells you that some friends are coming by to pick your child up because they are going to the library to study for this exam. You trust that your teen is being truthful and you watch the car drive away, headed to the town library. But what happens next is a parent’s nightmare. Somewhere between your house and the library, your child’s friends discuss going to a party they heard about on social media that has no adult chaperones. Your teen objects to the idea but in that moment influenced by peer pressure, the group decides to go find that party and your teenager goes along for the ride. Your teen may be thinking that there is still a possibility that the library will be their real and final destination that evening. Later that evening, the party-goers begin pairing off and disappearing in rooms and dark corners of the house. Another teenager begins flirting with yours and the situation gets very uncomfortable. Your child immediately exits the house, sits down on the front steps, and calls you from their cell phone. They admit to you not being at the library, apologise sincerely, and provide you with the address to come pick them up fast. I bet I’d have trouble finding any parent who wouldn’t want this to be the outcome for a similar situation involving their teenager. So, in order for your (future) teen to feel comfortable taking this action in a similar situation, what would be required to exist in your relationship with your child? If you said trust, you’re right. In that trust, your teen would have to feel safe calling and being with you, not feeling fearful of repercussions to admitting they made a mistake, and feeling comfortable calling you for help. Back to the present moment, what can you begin doing now on a daily basis to ensure that your relationship with your children will be built on trust? Here are five things you can begin doing right away. Listen More and Lecture Less. Announce an “open door policy” in your family that your children (and teens) can talk to you anytime, about anything, and without judgment, ridicule, or punishment. Remain Calm if You Catch Them in a Lie. Lying is normal for most children and a natural means of protection from parents who get angry and punitive in reaction to mistakes, poor judgment or misbehaviour. Commit to NOT Yelling. No human, child or adult, enjoys being yelled at. It kills the spirit, fosters fear, and provokes fight or flight; your child or teen will yell back or ‘run away.’ Quell Your Anger. Understand your own emotions and do all you can to manage them. If you’re easily brought to anger, seek out professional counselling. Develop the habit of taking a timeout to cool down before speaking or taking action in the face of your child’s behaviour. Apologise When You Make a Mistake. Tell your family that you are working on learning to be a calmer parent (and spouse). When you make a mistake and yell, spank or punish, take ownership for what you said or did and apologise for it. Provide a ‘make up’ to the recipient of your words or actions and acknowledge the fact that you’re a “work in progress.”

May 23, 2023

3 POWERFUL METHODS FOR HANDLING CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR

When I deliver a live parent lecture, I sometimes ask my audience to raise their hand if their parents used punishment when they misbehaved. Most hands go up, revealing that punishment was a common parenting tool back in the day. Since that time, society has determined that punitive treatment of our children is no longer acceptable. Researchers have also determined that children who are punished are more likely to have low self-esteem and experience depression or even suicidal thoughts as adults. Many of today’s parents also understand how important the experience during the early years of childhood contribute to the success of their children in their adult years. This includes how happy they are, how well they seek out healthy living habits, and how well they are able to select other healthy adults into their lives. So if you want to set your child up for success, here are just a few suggestions on how to handle challenging behaviors with your children. This does not serve as a complete list, but simply a few suggestions to get you started. FIND A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR NEEDS MET. Sometimes a parent is on a mission to accomplish some task and his children are making it difficult by demonstrating uncooperative behavior. Ask yourself, “What fun can I add to this moment that will provide some cooperation. One day I was bound and determined to get the leaves raked up in the yard and my kids did not want to help. Instead of getting angry, yelling and punishing them, I issued a challenge to my three kids: WHOEVER COULD RAKE UP THE LARGES PILE OF LEAVES WOULD GET THROWN INTO IT. The kids immediately ran out into the yard to begin raking. My goal was accomplished GIVE YOUR CHILD A SENSE OF VALUE. A woman shared with me that her son would act out and misbehave whenever she was busy in the kitchen preparing for a big meal for a family gathering. Perhaps the boy felt as if he was competing with the kitchen activities for his mom’s attention. I told her to make a list of all the guests who will be coming to dinner, and have the boy create a drawing on a large 8.5″ x 17″ piece of paper, specifically for each of those individuals. Those drawing will be the placemats placed at each place setting. After the dinner is completed and the dishes are cleared, the little boy gets to explain what each drawing means to the person he drew it for. GIVE YOUR CHILD A CHOICE. Demanding a child to do something immediately doesn’t work in this modern age. It did back when we were young because it was a different time with a different style of parenting. Most of us were raised by autocratic parents who issued demands regularly and we were expected to comply. So instead of issuing commands to your child, give them a choice related to completing the task. Instead of saying, “Go brush your teeth!”, say, “Would you like me to brush your teeth or would you like to do it yourself?”

May 11, 2023

WHAT IS SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER?

Adequate awareness, interpretation and use of sensory information is the cornerstone of all learning and behaviour. Some sensory deficits are easy to recognise, such as poor vision or hearing. Other difficulties are less easy to interpret, as they may result from difficulty with processing stimuli through movement, touch, pressure, position and gravity receptors. Some children may have adequate hearing, smell and eyesight but have trouble with using visual, auditory and olfactory information for function. Sensory Integration is the organisation of sensations for use. The brain locates, sorts and orders sensations- somewhat as a traffic officer directs moving cars. This enables interpretation of our surroundings and helps us form adaptive responses that form the foundation for behaviour and learning. When the flow of sensations is disorganised every second of one’s life can be like a rush hour traffic jam! Messages get jumbled and some don’t reach their destination at all. Improving sensory integrative functioning is like inserting traffic lights that order and control streams of traffic, organising the tangle of cars and roads, and helping the child predict what to do when the traffic gets really bad. School environments can be overwhelming to children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) due to the enormous quantity and variability of incoming sensations. Common difficulties experienced by children with SPD include delayed development of activities of daily living (such as going to the toilet, putting on shoes), delayed milestones, poor fine motor coordination, poor gross motor coordination, poor posture, restlessness, clumsiness, difficulty socialising, anxiety and low self confidence, poor concentration and attention, poor impulse control, avoidance of play ground, very rough play, very active, very labile, slow work speed, difficulty learning letters and numbers, poor handwriting, difficulty with spatial orientation, difficulty following instructions, distractibility. These are only some of the problems that are most frequently experienced by children with minor or major sensory integrative difficulties. Each child’s symptoms, behaviour and academic ability is different. A closer look at how our senses process information: Vision Organ-Eyes Must be able to detect light and movement Must be able to follow moving objects Must be able to focus on one object Must be able to work together or separately (usually 1 eye dominant Visual processing Transmission of visual input to Occipital lobe in brain where information is interpreted. Manipulate visual concepts (figure ground, visual closure, spatial relations, position in space, form constancy) Integrate visual information with movement (Eye hand coordination, visual motor speed, copying) Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information. Hearing Organ- Outer ear, middle ear (ear drum, ossicles), inner ear (Cochlear) Must be able to detect sound Must be able to interpret sound into meaningful information Must be able to accommodate according to noise Auditory processing Transmission of sound to Temporal Lobe and formation of adaptive response Discrimination between loud and soft/high and low/far and near Speech and language reception and expression Filter and ignore non-pertinent, non-threatening information Integration with movement impulses (semi-circular canals in inner ear) Connection with arousal and attention levels Position and movement Organ- muscles & joints Proprioceptive processing Transmission of information about position and movement of our bodies to the brain stem and cerebellum Automatic adjustment of posture and appropriate contraction/relaxation of muscles Enables subconscious awareness of the position of our limbs in space, and therefore provides foundation for any coordinated movement for function. Predicts self-orientation, self-awareness and in many cases interest and satisfaction in tasks. Gravity, Head Movement & Balance Organ- Semi-circular canals and otoliths in inner ear Vestibular processing Transmission of information about vibration and gravity (Otoliths), movement, acceleration and position of the head (Semicircular canals) to the brain stem, cerebellum and cerebrum. Interpretation of exactly where we are in relation to gravity, how fast we are going, and in what direction. Enable subconscious adjustments needed for balance, posture and movement Interaction and integration with all other impulses travelling up and down the spinal cord. Major influence on emotional and social responses, self regulation, arousal and concentration, self esteem, anxiety etc Types of sensory responses High threshold- need more sensory information than others to experience the same sensation. Child may present as lethargic, disinterested, weak, and spaced out (low registration). Child may present as very active, have poor motor planning, touches things, moves/spins/jumps etc., likes heavy blankets/tight clothing, inattentive, restless, rough during play. Both types are associated with poor body concept, difficulty with fine and gross motor skills, poor self-confidence. Low threshold- are more easily stimulated by sensory stimuli, need less input than others to experience same sensations. Child may present as anxious, avoidant, difficulty eating, poor motor planning, dislike of being messy, behaviour deteriorates in noisy environments, dislike of change, difficulty with attention and concentration, tantrums Common categories of SPD Dyspraxia Bilateral Integration and Sequencing Visual Praxis Modulation (Over-responsive/Under-responsive) What to do for kids with SI difficulties: Be patient. Kids with SPD take longer to develop thing even though their cognitive function may be normal. Allow more time for individuals with SPD to complete tasks (including going to the toilet, understanding a new concept etc.,) within appropriate classroom boundaries. Help them deal with frustrations and difficulties experienced as a result of SPD. Children with SPD often appear naughty, aggressive, oppositional and disengaged and are often associated with hyperactivity. These behaviours are the outcome of deregulation on an electro-chemical level in the brain. Use positive reinforcement for desired behaviours, and accommodations to make the environment more user-friendly’ to the SPD child. Provide a space that is quiet, dark and uncluttered for SPD kids to utilise as a regulatory tool. Explain that this is not a time-out space which is associated with bad behaviour, but a way to help our brains organise themselves again. Tents work well or you can use a desk with a blanket over it or a quiet room. Provide ample opportunity for movement. Engage SPD kids in taking messages, moving furniture, handing out books etc. Encourage SPD kids to engage in active play during break times. Seat SPD kids in the least distracting place in the classroom.

May 9, 2023

Cellphones, social media and your child’s mental wellbeing

Smartphones and tablets are here to stay. In fact, these devices are becoming an integral part of our future and the careers our children will eventually choose. We don’t want to deprive them from participating in the digital world, but as parents, we are concerned about the impact of cell phones, social media, and their online interactions on our children’s mental wellbeing. Also, parents sometimes get stuck thinking about our children as the innocent toddlers and kids they were. The harder reality that we are faced with is that, even when we think they are ‘innocence impersonated’, they are subjected to an amount of peer-pressure and they participate in an online world that we cannot fully comprehend. Our children are exposed to an environment where they are constantly inundated with new apps, new online friends (who they have or have not met), new information and a new way of balancing their digital activity and reality. Although we believe we can relate, we still talk about their “digital” and their “real” lives. The fact is that growing up in this age, children don’t have this distinction. To them, digital is part of their real lives. Let’s sit with that for a bit… Most tweens and teenagers go through a phase of getting stuck in their minds rather than talk about everything. When they encounter events that bother them, whether in person or online, their first port of call may not be their parents. They fear that when they speak up about difficult situations and their parents try to intervene (or interfere), that the situation will get worse. This could happen when they are being bullied or cyberbullied or when they have seen content that their minds can’t really deal with at that age. They may also encounter content such as pornography or sexting that cause them to feel guilt and shame, but remaining curious to engage even more. A significant number of children who are being cyberbullied or are exposed to inappropriate content online unfortunately turn to self-harm as a coping technique. At their age, we can not expect them to have all the emotional tools to help them open up a conversation about how they are feeling and reaching out to someone who can help them. Especially when they are feeling vulnerable and afraid. Sometimes self-harm could lead to suicidal ideation, which is the most scary thought for us, as their parents. When our children are exposed to these situations, they need our help more than ever. They need advice from parents or caregivers to guide them on this journey. But for parents, not knowing when or how this happens means that we can’t protect their minds or their thoughts and unless they talk to us about it, we seldom have any way of knowing. Some parents keep a close eye on all the devices in the home, but with all our time constraints, it is so easy to miss something small that could lead to a bigger issue. Now, more than ever, we have to spend time building better and closer relationships with our children, to ensure they know that we are their safe space. We have to create a space to have conversations about the difficult topics like pornography, sexting, self-harm and bullying, to name a few. We also have to ensure that we have the information at hand to discuss actual difficult situations they encounter, rather than hypothetical scenarios. Where our guidance actively influences the content they search for, post and like on social media. Where we have the opportunity to guide them on who they accept as friends or which messages on chats they react to and more importantly, how they respond. If you are a parent who would really like to know what’s going on in your child’s online conversations, without invading their privacy, join FYI play it safe today. FYI play it safe will send you an alert when your child is exposed to potentially harmful situations. Go to www.fyiplayitsafe.com and start your 7-day free trial.

May 8, 2023

Developing the skill of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Developing a sense of empathy is an important life skill. Young children are naturally ego–centric and tend to think only of themselves and their immediate needs. There are various benefits of being empathetic such as having a greater sense of security and, developing stronger relationships with peers and teachers. It fosters tolerance of others as well as promotes good mental health and social harmony. An empathetic adult displays greater success in professional and personal endeavours, overall happier, develop strong leadership qualities and experiences lower levels of stress.

April 28, 2023

Teach your Teenager to work wisely with money

Children and teenagers have to be shown and taught how to deal with money. We are advised that, ‘The love of money is the root of all evil’. The source of this wisdom is the Book of Timothy in the Bible. This well-known adage is often misquoted as, ‘Money is the root of all
evil’, which does not mean the same at all. It is greed and corruption and the misuse of money which can cause trouble for us, not the
cold, hard cash or credit cards in your wallet

April 28, 2023

Are we doing too much for our children?

As parents, many of us do things for our kids that we were able and expected to do for ourselves as kids. Our parents didn’t feel the need to negotiate with our sports coach, solve our every problem, or entertain us in our free time. A big difference from today, when all too often we are over-involved in many areas of our children’s lives. Sounds funny, I know. How can a parent be too involved or do too much for their child? Isn’t that just being a good parent? But when we don’t expect our kids to take responsibility for chores or their behaviour, and we attempt to smooth away all the bumps and bruises that are a natural part of childhood, we aren’t doing our kids a favour. Instead, we’re bringing them up to avoid taking personal responsibility and to expect that others will take care of things for them – even when they are really able to take care of it themselves. We’re teaching our kids that life is full of unmanageable problems, when what we actually want them to learn are the basic skills to manage those problems. Stepping back and taking on the role of coach and teacher instead of “do-er” and “fixer” was one of the hardest things I had to do as a parent. But it is also one of the best things you can do to help your child build their social and problem-solving skills and at the same time learn responsibility.

April 28, 2023

Child drownings are not seasonal and are almost always preventable

Child drownings happen year-round and PowerPlastics Pool Covers is on a drive to remind parents that these drownings are entirely preventable with multiple layers of safety applied to the pool. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover and adult supervision at all times should be included in these layers of safety at all times. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover offers parental peace of mind as it completely seals off the entire pool. The PVC cover is drawn over strong aluminium batons that rest on the coping, and a tamperproof ratchet fastening system makes it impossible for a small child to access the water. Small drainage holes prevent rain or sprinkler water from collecting on the cover as just a few millimetres of water can be fatal to a curious child. The cover withstands up to 220kg and is easily deployed by two people, or it can be semi-automated for single person usage. The PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover is available in a range of colours, allowing it to blend into the outdoor area. Importantly, the cover complies with the recommended guidelines (SANS 10134) for pool safety, set by the SABS who oversees pool safety compliance in SA. Thermal pool covers or ‘bubble’ covers that lie directly on the water should never be considered as child safety pool covers as they do not bear weight. Aside from covering the pool, every adult in the home needs to know what a drowning in progress actually looks like as TV has created many misconceptions around this. There is no noise or splashing nor calls for help. Drowning is quick and silent. Even if one doesn’t have children, it is still necessary to consider safety for visitors. Families living in residential complexes with a communal pool should insist that their body corporate install a solid safety pool cover. PowerPlastics Pool Covers has also created a Safety Monitor system. Based on the principle that adult supervision is key to avoiding drownings, it allows children to quickly identify the adult in charge should there be a safety issue among the children in the pool. When there’s a larger number of children in the pool, e.g at pool parties, it is advisable to have two or more supervisors each wearing a tag. A busy pool is high risk. You can download it here and print at home. Laminate it if possible (to prevent water damage) and then add a lanyard or tie it on a loop of string and wear around the neck. The bottom line is that children need to be supervised around pools, and as long as the pool is covered and other layers of safety are in place, the likelihood of a tragedy occurring in your pool is greatly reduced. Practical tips for pool safety Don’t let your pool’s water levels drop. Keeping the pool topped up allows for small arms to easily grab the edge if needed. For every two children in the pool, have one adult supervising and use the Saefty Monitor tag system. The more children, the more supervisors needed. Be aware that children’s pool parties are high-risk events. Turn off fountains and water features. Not only do they waste water and power, they can cause ripples and splashing, making it harder to see when a child has encountered difficulty in the pool or has sunk to the bottom. Ensure that every adult in the home knows CPR, including domestic workers. Never hire a baby sitter or au pair who can’t swim. Don’t let anyone who has been drinking or on sedative medication supervise children in a pool. Don’t leave toys in or near an open pool as children will be tempted to retrieve them. Teach your child to swim fully clothed and with shoes on. If your child develops a fear of water, don’t ignore this – a child who panics is at greater risk of drowning. Never allow swimming after dark. Discourage your dogs from swimming. Children and pets in a pool are not a good mix. Never leave the pool without securing it with your PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Never design / build a pool that cannot be secured for child safety. The Vektor Rollup Station brings semi-automation to the PowerPlastics Solid Safety Cover. Learn more.

April 18, 2023

The best study snacks and why they work

There are so many things that can distract you from studying. Maybe you have low energy and can’t concentrate. Maybe you’re hungry and that’s pulling focus away from your work. Maybe you’re even struggling with your memory right now due to stress or depression. Food is a good and sustainable way to address all of these factors, alongside daily physical activity and quality sleep. In this article, however, we’re talking about the best study snacks and why they can work for you, in addition to being delicious. 1. Coffee with milk You probably already know that coffee can help increase your energy levels and keep you awake, but that doesn’t mean we’re going to tell you to drink coffee when you have to study late at night (more on that later). Another great thing coffee does is increase the production of dopamine in the brain. Dopamine lifts your mood, making coffee a great option for the beginning of the study session, when you may not feel like getting stuck in. This neurotransmitter also improves focus and boosts concentration, helping you take in more information when you’re learning. Limit your coffee intake to two cups per day and don’t drink any coffee at all after lunchtime. This will prevent caffeine-related anxiety and poor sleep later on. 2. Trail mix Toss together a big bowl of mixed nuts, your favourite dried fruits and small pieces of chopped dark chocolate. Carbohydrates are our brain’s preferred source of energy, so you’re definitely going to want to include them when you’re planning your study snacks. Fruit contains plenty of carbs in the form of sugar, as does dark chocolate, and this often results in a spike in blood sugar (and energy), followed by an energy crash. We use fat to counteract this effect, and that’s where nuts come in. Nuts contain plenty of the good fats, which force the body to digest carbohydrates more slowly when the two are eaten together. This will give you a steady flow of energy for the next couple of hours. And remember, a portion of trail mix is about a quarter cup, so try to stick to that amount at snack time. 3. Popcorn There are so many things to love about popcorn. It’s high in protein, wholegrain carbohydrates and fibre. All of these nutrients work towards sustainable slow-release energy to help you concentrate. They also work together to keep you fuller for longer, so you won’t be distracted by hunger 30 minutes into your study session. Popcorn is also extremely low in calories considering the nutritional value it serves, but only if you prepare it correctly. Stay away from ready-to-microwave popcorn or cooking it on the stove with heaps of butter and oil. Instead, buy a bag of kernels and mix a portion with one or two tablespoons of olive oil and a pinch of salt. Pop them into a brown paper bag and then microwave the popcorn until it’s done. 4. Smoothies Do you want a wholesome filling snack that includes lots of brain foods plus energy-boosting nutrients? A smoothie is the best way to do this. Remember, our brains need carbs for energy, and healthy fats to help our bodies absorb and use that energy more slowly rather than all at once. So we’ll start with those as a base. We love the idea of oats as your main carb option. They blend easily, give smoothies a nice texture and they have a neutral flavour. Milk offers the same smoothie-making benefits, while offering protein and fat. Now that you have your base, it’s time to add brain food! Blueberries have been found to support memory and cognition. The omega fatty acids found in chia seeds, nuts and seeds are great for concentration and overall brain health. L-theanine is a compound found in green tea that increases focus while decreasing anxiety at the same time! Greens like spinach, broccoli and lettuce are about the long game. Eat them regularly for long-term cognitive health throughout your studies, working life and beyond. Dark chocolate (in small amounts) because it’s another food that naturally contains caffeine. 5. Apples and celery with peanut butter We know it sounds weird, especially the celery part, but celery and apples are an amazing combo, and celery and peanut butter are an amazing combo (try it before you deny it). Apples are packed with nutrients and energy in the form of carbs, making it a well-rounded snack when paired with a healthy fat protein like peanut butter. When it comes to celery, recent studies have shown that it can improve memory. The evidence also points towards helping people with depression. If you suffer from depression and find that it is affecting your memory (as it commonly does), adding celery to your diet could help to counter this symptom. We’re excited to see where this research leads! When it comes to peanut butter, you can benefit from all the brain boosting effects its omega fatty acids offer. These include improved memory, cognition, concentration and mood. 6. Veggies and hummus If you’re not a sweet tooth and prefer savoury snacks, what about veggies and hummus? Choose a wide range of veggies in different colours for your energy and nutrients. Serve them with some hummus on the side for dipping to act as your protein and fat source. If you’re a slow snacker, carrots, cucumber, sliced peppers and celery keep (and travel) well, and they all pair well with hummus and each other. 7. Fruit yoghurt ice lollies Have you ever been in a test or an exam, and a teacher pulls out a bag of Fizz Pops or chewy sweets for the class writing? If you have, you’ll probably remember forever how good your memory and concentration were that day. If you look around, you’ll see this everywhere. People chew gum to increase focus during the work day, they bite their nails to concentrate on something they’re reading, snacking on small nibbles throughout a movie feels

April 14, 2023

Cramming versus scheduled studying: What’s happening in your brain?

Have you ever found yourself sitting in an exam or test, knowing how hard you studied the night before, with a question in front of you that you simply just can’t remember the answer to? This happens to everyone, and it has nothing to do with how hard you did or didn’t prepare. What it’s actually all about is how far along the process of encoding memory you had time for. This is why cramming the day before an exam or test can only get you so far. For true mastery that’s about more than passing on the day, you need to learn how to encode the information you’re learning into your long-term memory, and that’s going to take a bit more time. In this article, we’re going to discuss cramming versus long-term study, and what’s going on in your brain along the way. Step 1 – Sensory memory This is the very first stage when it comes to successfully encoding and storing information. When it comes to studying information, the two most common senses we usually use are vision and sound. We see the written or diagrammatic information, we hear it being explained to us, or both at the same time. Sensory memory is tricky because it is mostly there to use and lose information. Let’s think about a maths equation. You see the first line of the equation before you. Your sensory memory holds it in your mind only as long as it takes you to process it and move onto the next step of the equation. Then, it immediately deletes it from your brain. It is normal for sensory memories to last for split seconds before disappearing. Unless something special happens, that is. If you’re driving and see a stop sign, your sensory memory will hold the stop sign in your mind until you have stopped and then moved on. It will then delete that moment. But if you have a car accident at that stop sign, your sensory memory will pass it on to short-term memory, and your brain will hold onto the memory of that stop sign at that time for a longer period. The same goes for studying. Cramming is detrimental to sensory memory firstly because it’s tedious, boring and can be stressful. These are not the kinds of conditions your brain looks for when it wants to make something last. You need time and effort to truly move beyond this first step. Repetition and using multiple senses to learn the same information is your goal. And by repetition, we don’t mean sitting in one spot repeating a sentence over and over until you think you’ll be able to remember it through tomorrow and beyond. When we say repetition, we mean repeated learning of the same subject or topic using different stimuli. Yes, revise your notes from class, but also read blog posts, listen to podcasts, watch videos and (of course) practise past papers. This kind of revision is diverse and makes use of multiple senses, a winning formula for moving what you’re learning into the short-term memory! Step 2 – Short-term memory Short really does mean short here. On average, your short-term memory can only hold information for about 15 seconds. Your brain is always trying to optimise, and that means constantly discarding information it doesn’t think it needs. Short-term memory is often what is used when you are cramming for a test. If you’re trying to remember a list of facts, you’ll probably have found that when you repeat them to yourself later or tomorrow, you’re more likely to remember items from the beginning and end of your study session, but that your recall only gets worse and worse when it comes to what you studied in the middle. This is a sign that the information wasn’t encoded correctly during the short-term memory phase. Information will stay in your short-term memory as long as you’re consciously holding onto it. From there, it will either be moved to working or long-term memory, or deleted. At the beginning of your cramming session, you will be more alert and more energetic. This will better enable you to encode what you’re learning in a meaningful way with practice, using the senses and being able to connect what you’re learning with what’s already stored in your long-term memory. This information is often successfully stored in long-term memory. Towards the end, when you’re tired, you might just begin repeating the information over and over, keeping it in short-term and working memory until you’re done with it after your exam. And whatever was in the middle, well, that’s probably mostly gone by the time you sit down to write. In order to move on from short-term memory, you need to allow yourself the time for not only meaningful and sensory stimulation like in the previous step, but you also need the time to build meaningful connections with what’s already in your long-term memory. This involves starting with the basics, and only moving on once you have something solid in your long-term memory to build upon. Step 4 – Long-term memory EXPLICIT LONG-TERM MEMORY – SEMANTIC When you think of long-term memory, you probably think of all the things you can remember that have happened personally to you in your life. But that’s only one small part (albeit an important one). Semantic memory is a form of explicit long-term memory that is based around factual information. And it is explicit because you make the effort to learn it on purpose (unlike biographical memories). When you are studying, you are successful if what you are learning moves from short-term memory into explicit semantic long-term memory. There is a clue here. For a long time, neuroscientists have been trying to pin down exactly where in the brain semantic long-term memories are stored. And the answer seems to be all over. This has led scientists to believe that within our brains there is a semantic network. And they believe that this is

March 22, 2023

ABOUT TEEN PREGNANCY

Affinity Health, a leading provider of high-quality healthcare, highlights ways to prevent and address teen pregnancy. Teen Pregnancy Rates in South Africa Teen pregnancy is a significant issue in South Africa, with rates of teen pregnancy remaining high. According to data from the World Health Organization (WHO), South Africa has one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancy globally, with nearly one in four girls becoming pregnant before age 20. Various factors such as lack of access to sexual education and contraception, cultural and societal attitudes towards sex, poverty, and lack of access to healthcare increase teenage pregnancy rates. “The latest adolescent pregnancy data from Statistics South Africa shows that 90 037 girls aged 10 to 19 years gave birth from March 2021 to April 2022 across all provinces,” says Murray Hewlett, CEO of Affinity Health. “Addressing teen pregnancy in South Africa will require a multifaceted approach that addresses these underlying issues and supports pregnant and parenting teens.” By implementing these ten strategies suggested by Affinity Health, we can all work towards reducing teen pregnancy rates and improving outcomes for teens and their children. Provide Comprehensive Sex Education in Schools Studies have shown that comprehensive sex education can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. According to a review of sex education programmes by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), programmes that include information on both contraception and abstinence can help reduce rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) among teens. Improve Access to Contraception Improved access to contraception can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. This can include increasing funding for family planning clinics and ensuring that teens have access to affordable and effective methods of contraception. Increase Awareness of The Risks of STIs According to the CDC, teens are at increased risk of STIs, including HIV. By raising awareness of the dangers of STIs, teens may be more likely to use contraception to reduce their risk of infection. Address Poverty and Lack of Access to Healthcare Teens who live in poverty or lack access to healthcare are at increased risk of unintended pregnancy. By addressing these socioeconomic concerns, we can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. Promote Healthy Relationships and Communication Teenagers with healthy relationships and good communication skills are less likely to become pregnant. Essentially, we can help reduce rates of teen pregnancy when we improve healthy relationships and communication amongst teens. Support Parenting Teens Teens who become parents are at increased risk of poor outcomes, including dropping out of school and living in poverty. By supporting parenting teens, we can help improve outcomes for both teens and their children. Encourage Father Involvement Father involvement can positively impact both the child and the mother. When we encourage father involvement, we improve future outcomes for both teens and their children. Address Societal Attitudes and Stereotypes Societal attitudes and stereotypes about teen pregnancy can contribute to the problem. By addressing these attitudes and stereotypes, we can help reduce teen pregnancy rates. Provide Support for Pregnant and Parenting Teens Pregnant and parenting teens need support, such as access to healthcare, education, and other services. Encourage Community Involvement Community involvement can be an effective way to prevent teen pregnancy. By encouraging community involvement, we can help reduce rates of teen pregnancy.

March 3, 2023

Tackle adult & teen acne effectively to stay in the clear

Tackling acne effectively means finding a skincare solution that keeps skin healthy, and spot free, naturally. From teen through to adulthood, acne can mar our skin, plague our thoughts and push us to develop bad habits that lead us to squeeze ‘just a little bit’ at the most untimorous moments, such as when we are about to leave for an important event. The stress induced habits of squeezing and popping acne only leads to the breaking of your delicate facial skin surface, causing bleeding and swelling and turning spots and blemishes into angry irritated welts, that make matters worse. It is especially important we don’t touch, poke or fiddle with our face as our fingers carry on average 3 200 different germs belonging to more than 150 species according to Pfizer regarding the importance of clean hands. What to do to manage that irritating acne? #1 Hydrate: Acne responds well to regular and deep hydration. It’s important to keep a healthy regular schedule of cleansing your body and problem acne areas twice a day and after sweating. Follow up with applying hydration to your skin that is not greasy but instead soothing and natural. #2 Natural Effect: Any hydrating solution applied to acne should be 100% natural, without the additives and chemicals of treatments and lotions. Blemish busting BaoCare CLEAR is a gentle, yet effective serum for skin flare-ups of all kinds, including adult acne. A light, non-oily serum made from the baobab tree, it is free of artificial additives and helpful for both teens and more mature skins, formulated with a synergistic combination of tea tree and evening primrose for their anti-microbial properties, which not only heals acne but lightens dark spots as well. #3 Food Friendly: Be mindful of the type of foods you are fuelling your body with, listen to your body’s language and become aware of foods that cause allergies and reactions. Reach for leafy greens and water high-content foods such as watermelons (just in time to be enjoyed on warm Spring days), snack on a cucumber, add tomatoes to stews, and crunch your way through celery, apples and oranges wherever possible. #4 Hydrate again on the inside: Drink clear water daily to help your body’s systems function and flow, flushing toxins out the bowel so your body does not have to send toxins out though the skin dermis. EVE OF THE PARTY ACNE NIGHTMARE: If you are faced with an angry blemish on your face on the eve of a special event, do not touch the blemish, bump or spot as this will induce further swelling. Apply BaoCare CLEAR Baobab oil serum to hydrate and soothe the acne and then cover up with a light dab in the area with a naturally matched cosmetic base to camouflage the red, angry welt. And yes, it’s okay for guys to do this too. After your night out remember to do your evening clean and hydration routine adding BaoCare CLEAR Skincare once again onto your clean skin as a rapidly absorbed moisturizer that will not block pores and help to soothe any flare ups. #6 Facial Trims: Shaving rash can be treated in the same way, as BaoCare CLEAR leaves your face soft and deeply saturated through natural baobab serum moisturisation. #7 Zen Skincare Moments: We could all do with a little less stress, and it is usually when we are stressed and out of our cleaning routine that acne makes its appearance. Make a point of stressing less by adding a simple breathing routine to calm and centre you as you do your cleaning regime and apply hydration to your skin’s acne. Try the 5-5-5 routine of breathing in through your nose for the count of 5, holding you breathe for the count of 5 and releasing your breath through the mouth to the count of 5 to calm mind and body. See your self-care routine each morning and night as an act of self-love for taking action and addressing your acne problem so you can go out and shine in the world with a clear, blemish and acne free skin once again. #BeBaocareWise Available for online purchase at www.baocare.co.za , Faithful to Nature and Wellness Warehouse. Baocare 50ml R187 Baocare 10ml R48 BaoCare Skin Rescue Kit R220.00

November 17, 2022

Handling Childhood Illness Effectively

Most parents know that during the course of raising a child you will have to deal with different bouts of illness. Here is some information, from Bonitas Medical Fund, which should help you to manage common early childhood illnesses successfully.

October 24, 2022

PUTTING YOUR KIDS ON A PATH TO GOOD NUTRITION

For many parents, nothing is as stressful as getting your kids to eat all the food on their plate, especially when it comes to veggies. Eating a variety of healthy foods is essential for your children’s wellbeing. Here are some tips on how to get your kids to eat better.

October 17, 2022

Mental barriers to studying

Studying is tough and many learners see it as one of the worst aspects of their lives. Most learners have the potential to excel at school, but most do not because of how unpleasant they find studying. For this reason, it is not enough to equip your child with the resources they need to study, but to also identify and address their state of mind. Below are three common psychological barriers that a learner may face. They are presented in the order that they are likely to unfold. Lacking Focus “I struggle to get my child to sit down and study.” This is very common and very natural. The benefits of studying and doing well at school are still a long way off from their point of view, or not even apparent. Socialising and entertainment are typically more appealing for a high school teenager. How this becomes an issue is not that they won’t start studying, but rather that they become discouraged easily. Often the phrase, “I’m bored of this”, is actually covering up, “I don’t know how to do this, so I’d rather be doing something else.” At this point, they will quickly turn to something that they know they will enjoy. To mitigate this, you need to have a plan in place to help your child each time they get stuck. This could include hiring a private tutor or using Paper Video. Feeling lost “My child doesn’t know where to start, they are so lost.” This is a common feeling of hopelessness in learners. The feeling that so much has rushed past them that there is no hope left for a recovery. I recall feeling this many times when I was in school and university, and you may as well. The truth is that they are never as lost as what they think they are. The reality is that it is not about finding a starting point but committing to daily revision over the course of months, not 2 weeks before the final exams. Then, your child must not start off by trying to go through whole past papers. This will only worsen the situation. What they must do is start out by identifying the topic that they are most familiar with and start working on easy questions under this topic. The Paper Video platform allows your child to search on a topic name and set the difficulty of question they want to practice. Once they are confident in that section, they can move to the next most familiar section. It is a slow and steady process, but it works. It is like the saying goes; how do you eat an elephant?… One bite at a time. Giving up “My child has given up because they are too far behind.” This is not an easy situation to deal with as it comes with a spectrum of severity. The worst-case scenario is that they need to repeat a year. However, while a high percentage of children feel this way, only a very small percentage are actually this far behind. More often, immediate daily revision can turn this situation around within a month (daily intensive revision is not sustainable in the long run but is required over a few weeks to turn a bad situation around). The challenge now, however, is where to start? The best approach is to start with easy practice questions within each section. Divide past exam papers up into their different sections and spend one day on each section doing the easy questions. On Paper Video, this can be done via our search functionality and by selecting the difficulty level 1 filter. The next step might sound counter-intuitive, but after your child has gone through all sections, get them to spend some more time on the section for which they felt strongest. However, this time they should attempt difficulty level 2 questions. The reason for this is to build confidence as quickly as possible. Once your child is confident taking on level 2 questions in one section, they will have a strong foundation for that section and feel more confident to head into more uncertain territory. They should now move on to their next strongest section and repeat. As this process continues, they should not worry about moving up to difficulty level 3 questions. These represent a relatively small portion of the exam and are best practiced once your child feels like they have mastered most of the subject. Each one of these barriers is challenging to overcome. There is a good chance that your child may have to overcome all three before regaining control of their studying. This in itself will be exhausting for them and adds a fourth ‘meta-barrier’ to the process. Speak to your child about these barriers, preparing them for each sinking feeling they may encounter, and what to do. Reassure them that if they stick to a consistent studying routine, they will get on top of their work. The reward for them mastering their studies goes beyond good grades, it will develop their confidence to face seemingly insurmountable challenges. This achievement will stay with them for life.

September 29, 2022

SEXTING, PORN & PREDATORS – UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS CAN MAKE KIDS SAFER ONLINE

When it comes to keeping your children safe online, solutions such as parental controls certainly can help. However, there’s widespread agreement that parents need more than one strategy, and all online safety efforts will be more effective if they are underpinned by open communications between parent and child. It’s not hard for parents to have ongoing discussions with their child if they are about a topic like cyberbullying, which spans the physical and digital realms. However, a number of the online dangers for children and youth are far more sensitive topics for conversation that will test most parents’ levels of comfort, especially when it comes to talking about sex and pornography or suicide and suicide ideation. Rachelle Best, the CEO and Founder of FYI play it safe, an AI-powered monitoring app used by families across the world to keep kids safer online, spends a large portion of her working time engaging with parents, teachers, children and youth about the online dangers facing young internet, gaming and mobile app users. She has a wide-ranging view of how South African parents and their children are either currently tackling or avoiding difficult topics. Rachelle says, “Parents have different levels of personal comfort with certain sensitive topics that can inhibit them from starting these conversations or responding appropriately if their children initiate them. In these cases, the ‘not my child’ syndrome is commonly used to deflect from the need to have a conversation about a topic that is uncomfortable for the parent. Typically, I come across those who will insist their child is ‘too young and innocent or naïve’ to have a conversation that is related to sexting or online pornography or child grooming by predators. Others will say such conversations aren’t necessary because they trust their child to never look at sexually inappropriate content or engage with a stranger or potential predator.” Parents with ‘not my child’ syndrome’ are at risk of being blind to the ubiquity of online pornography and other content depicting overt adult sexuality. For instance, latest research shows that while 75% of parents say that they believe their child has never been exposed to pornography, while 53% of children were comfortable admitting that they have been. It’s likely many more would prefer to deny any engagement with pornography. Inappropriate online sexual content is not the only concern; children and teens are also vulnerable when it comes to stumbling across or seeking out content around suicide, suicide ideation, self-harm and violence. Furthermore, social media channels are not only online spaces where children and teens may encounter predators. They could meet potentially dangerous strangers in gaming chatrooms or on other communication app platforms as well. This ever-evolving landscape, where new apps and games are launched daily, makes it difficult for parents to keep up and keep track of all the digital spaces where their children may be active. Rachelle says, “This is why open communications forms the bedrock of child online safety. Parental controls, and advanced monitoring and alert apps such as FYI play it safe are part of the layers of security needed, but one solution alone is unlikely to prevent your child from encountering harmful content. You have a strong foundation to help keep your children safer online when you are taking an interest in your child’s digital life, talking to them openly about the risks and keeping a conversation going about how best to handle or avoid risks.” Why some parents avoid conversations about difficult topics with children Counselling Psychologist, Lekha Daya says, “There are topics that may trigger shame or a level of discomfort which a parent may not know how to tolerate, causing them to avoid a conversation. There may also be a gap in parents’ understanding of their teenager’s world because it differs so much from their own experience of youth. Some parents may feel inadequate at facilitating conversations about difficult topics and prefer just not to have them. Others may be resistant to learning about and fully understanding the online world, especially when it comes to grappling with both the positives and negatives of gaming and social media. There are parents who have an authoritarian and critical parenting style that does not create room for ease in difficult conversations. In these cases, both teens and parents go into a defensive fight or flight mode where having an honest and open conversation becomes challenging, if not impossible.” Top tips for having hard conversations with your tweens and teens Start by being aware of yourself – Reflect on your own feelings of discomfort and/or shame that might be causing resistance and avoidance when it comes to dealing with important online safety topics. It helps to be aware of your own anxiety in your body when the topic is brought up – such as a tightening in the chest, quickening of the pulse or an urge to fidget. Lekha says, “Self-awareness is a lifelong process but one that requires commitment from all parents to equip themselves in having difficult conversations. Building self-awareness for yourself as a parent and for your teen starts with understanding that your responses are often from your own childhood experiences and exposure.” Adjust your expectations – A conversation about a hard topic is a challenge, but you don’t have to be ‘perfect’. Lekha says, “Self-compassion and allowing for one’s own feelings of vulnerability is important. Know that you will not always get it ‘right’ in difficult conversations, and that’s okay. Sometimes, your teen might seem to have a knack of bringing up a difficult conversation when you feel unprepared. Sometimes, you won’t know the answers to their questions. Take the pressure off yourself to have the conversation ‘perfectly’, and forge ahead with it rather than avoid it. You don’t need to know it all, you can acknowledge what you’re not sure of or don’t know, and then open the conversation up again at a later stage when you’ve found out more. It’s important to be able

September 26, 2022

Why learning to fail sets children up for success later in life

The question of examinations and gaining or losing marks looms large at this time of year, as school students get down to the business of making the most of their academics in 2022. But what if the way we traditionally look at the role of school and learning is outdated and unnecessarily anxiety-inducing? “The common understanding that most people have about school is that it is a place where students go to learn facts and move from one grade to the next by passing examinations where they regurgitate those facts,” says Colin Northmore, Principal at Evolve Online School, a brand of ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. “However, that is an obsolete approach, given the fact that anyone can find a fact at the click of an online button. So, the role of education has evolved, and that schools must bring more to the education table than transferring facts from the teacher at the front of the class to the minds of students.” Northmore says the role of school and learning in today’s age, is about teaching children where the boundaries are – that is, the sum of what we think they need to know or be able to do, about any subject, and then expecting them to adventure beyond that. “This idea does not mean that what they learn in traditional education is not essential. This idea is more about how we teach children and what we expect them to do with what they have learned. Critically, this idea is about how we measure a child’s success.” Many schools generally do not treat failure as worth celebrating, Northmore notes. “Instead, many if not most schools interpret so-called failure as a lack of effort (sometimes correctly) or a lack of ability on the part of the child. It is a reason for punishment, and children are taught to avoid failure at all costs. This approach has often been linked in research to cheating in exams and even teenage self-harm and suicide.” In her article on toxic achievement culture, educational researcher Dr Beth Cooper Benjamin says: “If we want students to be successful in their schoolwork and tackle thorny real-world problems, then tolerating and learning from imperfection is a muscle we must help them build.” Children are better served if we teach them that failure is just the first step in a learning process. Next should come reflection, says Northmore. “We should not be giving children the correct answers, but rather teach them to ask better questions like: What did I not understand; what could I have spent more time practising; who can I ask for help with this; what could I do differently next time; and when do I have an opportunity to try again? “Therefore, an assessment system that shows students where the gaps in their knowledge or skills are, coupled with information about how often they try again after not achieving mastery; how much time they devote to improving; and if the children are addressing their gaps, provides them with the tools that they can positively and productively use when encountering problems and challenges in later life.” The biggest challenge is always the gap between theory and action, says Northmore. “So for instance, schools must consider how much opportunity is provided for ‘failing forward’ and adventure on the path towards discovery? Schools using a mastery-based approach are ideally positioned for this new age of learning, based not on memorising facts and passing rote tests and exams, but confidence-building and mastery.” With this approach, children get multiple opportunities to complete tasks and tests. And the space between their completion of a task and when they get feedback on their degree of mastery is kept as short as possible, by way of a live reporting system based on the learning goals. Children and their parents should have a live view of their areas of strength and places for development. And they should also be able to easily keep track of the pace their child is achieving in completing their work. “So as the year kicks into high gear, let us help our children to explore, investigate and learn the power of ‘I have not mastered this yet’, while giving them the space to fail with confidence and without rebuke, as we light the flame of lifelong learning in their hearts.” Learn more about Evolve Online School by clicking here. Are you ready to enrol at Evolve Online School? Apply Now!

September 22, 2022

Matrics – it’s not too late to apply to study overseas

Overseas university application deadlines are less than four months away. Matrics wanting to study overseas, often only start thinking about their applications towards the end of their final school year. With universities like Harvard setting record-low acceptance rates in 2022, Grade 12’s have no time to delay on getting started with their applications. “When it comes to applying to study abroad, especially to competitive universities, you should ideally give your application at least an 18-month lead time. Matrics who are only getting started now can still apply but they haven’t left much room for error,” says Rebecca Pretorius, Country Manager at Crimson Education, who specialise in assisting local students with the process of applying to the world’s top-ranked universities. In addition to a tight timeline, local students need to consider the competitiveness of international universities and applicants. Around the world, application numbers are on the rise, while admissions rates are dropping every year. At Harvard, a record number of applicants applied for spots in the class of 2026, while the acceptance rate fell to 3.19% – the lowest since it was founded in 1636. To unpack international admissions for local matric students, Crimson Education hosted a free online event earlier this month – with the aim of helping matrics on their application journey. As part of the event, they covered application deadlines, strategies for essay writing, preparing for standardised tests, and university and course selection. The event also outlined some of the most common mistakes made by local students when it comes to applying abroad. “Students generally apply to too few schools, or to the wrong schools for their profile. Many top, competitive schools are missed, because students and families don’t have the insight that domestic students do into the university landscape, the choices available to them, or even the how they stack up against other applicants in the areas that count – including extracurriculars, subject choice, standardised test scores and more,” says Pretorius. Getting help with the basics is the best place to start when it comes to getting started this late in the year; “The application process to overseas universities is complex and time-consuming. While you can ask a friend, parent or teacher to check your personal statement, for example, they likely won’t know how to evaluate your work to the standard of admissions officers at these top institutions. This is even more true for more nuanced parts of the admission process, such as declaring a major or applying for financial aid,” says Pretorius. “To give yourself the best chance of getting into your dream university, make sure you give yourself enough time and get the right support. Realistically, you only get one shot, so do it right the first time around,” says Pretorius. Through a team mentorship model, Crimson connects learners with admission strategists and tutors to assist with the application process for top-ranked universities in the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Europe, and Australia and New Zealand. The global company offers a range of application year programmes, designed to address specific aspects within the process of applying abroad. Crimson also offers regular information evenings and weekly SAT workshops around the country. For more information, visit www.crimsoneducation.org/za.

August 18, 2022

Engineering 101 : How to choose a degree programme for 2023

Engineering has long been a popular field of study for school leavers because of the high demand for qualified and experienced professionals in this field, the diversity of options within the field, and the interesting and varied nature of life as an engineer. However, contrary to the road to career success for prospective engineers of the past, study options have increased dramatically from the historically limited public university offering, and those who are interested in this field should ensure they consider all their options so as to align their chosen branch of engineering with their personal goals, as well as their ability to make an immediate and positive contribution in the workplace, beyond mere academic and theoretical knowledge, an education expert says. “The specifics of admission requirements for various institutions vary, but it’s safe to say that if you are great at maths, physics and chemistry and have a good command of English or the language of instruction of the institution, engineering is an excellent and sustainable choice of study,” says Neil Manson, Head of School: Engineering, Science and Health at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest and most accredited private higher education provider. Manson notes that perceptions of a career in engineering can be quite limited, but that it is worth noting that the day-to-day life of an engineer – whether in public or private sector – incorporates many different facets depending on specialisation, which can include: Designing materials, components, systems or processes, Planning the capacity and location of infrastructure, Investigating, advising and reporting on engineering problems, Improvement of materials, components, systems or processes, Managing or operating plants and processes, Managing implementation or construction projects, Implementing designs or solutions, Research, development and commercialisation of products, Education, training and development of engineering personnel, Postgraduate studies, research and teaching. “Furthermore, students who graduate with an Engineering degree have valuable and sought-after knowledge, skills and attributes that enable them to work and excel in multi-disciplinary projects and easily expand into other industries, such as banking, insurance, ICT and many others,” Manson says. Manson says the non-negotiable boxes that need to be checked when investigating which engineering degree to pursue and where, is to ensure that accreditation with the Engineering Council of South Africa (ECSA) is in place and that the institution is accredited with the Council for Higher Education (CHE). “It is also then important, after those matters have been dealt with, to find an institution that has a close link with industry and that the curriculum is contemporary and updated. While engineers are in high demand, companies are also careful to scrutinise the quality of qualifications, an institution’s reputation for producing work-ready graduates, and the likely ability of a graduate to consistently perform at the highest level. “Engineering is a complex field and engineers carry a lot of responsibility – sometimes life and death responsibilities – on their shoulders. So it is important not only for satisfying employer demands, but also for developing and empowering yourself to be able to fulfil your duties with confidence, that you find an institution and qualification where the classes are small and you can receive individual attention that goes beyond just covering the theory. “Ask prospective higher education institutions for a tour of their campus facilities, and look out for up-to-date facilities and laboratories, inspiring campus grounds, and modern programme design.” Prospective students should also enquire about a faculty’s focus on sustainability, its level of industry engagement, its focus on real-life communities in its curriculum, its focus on entrepreneurial development and the extent to which it provides its students with collaborative research opportunities and industry interaction. “Engineering is a tremendously rewarding career and opportunities will continue to grow locally and globally even during tough economic times. Matriculants with the academic ability to be successful, and a keen interest in the field, would do well to investigate their opportunities and find the perfect fit within the field for them, as well as the right institution to develop them holistically and help them get ready to contribute upon graduation.”

August 17, 2022

Education Vs Teaching – What is the difference?

In this article, we explore these differences and how both play a role in moulding our children’s learning experience. “A child educated only at school is an uneducated child” – George Santayana 1863 – 1952, philosopher and Harvard Professor. Ponder that for a while. What about this one – attributed to Albert Einstein (who?) but in fact, its true origins are unknown. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school”. These are rather deep statements, and the reason I say this is as follows. I find that many parents often think that if their child is not actively working i.e. reading or writing or learning things off by heart, then they cannot possibly be learning. We ourselves are products of a schooling system that was one size fits all. Everybody sat in a classroom, which had been arranged neatly in rows, and the teacher Presented material, and we Practiced the material until it was Perfect. There is so much more to an education than what a child is taught in the classroom or the space inside your home that you have dedicated to home schooling. The opportunities for an education are endless and present themselves on a daily basis. An education is something whereby a child is offered far more than only content and material. An education is also about common sense (although I don’t know why it’s called common sense. If it was indeed common, more people would have it). Having self-awareness and awareness of others, being kind to one another. Having empathy, compassion and respect – that’s an education. Teaching is the imparting of facts, the transference of subject matter from a teacher to a student after which the student is tested to see how well the teacher delivered the subject matter and whether the student retained it. We need to break out of this traditional mould and review what we value more – our kids simply being taught, or the education they receive. Both have their place, indeed, but I’ll leave you with one more quote from the already-mentioned Mr. Einstein. “Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think”. Disclaimer – The views expressed are that of the author C. Wickham Interested in homeschooling your child? Feel free to Mindscape Education, e-mail info@mindscapeeducation.co.za or call (+27) 11-704-0687. Visit the Mindscape Education website to find out more about our curriculum options.

July 28, 2022

Internet safety tips for kids of all ages

During school holidays your children’s social media or interactive game time online may kick up a notch. As a parent, you want to make sure that they have a safe experience. Though the Internet can be a wonderful place to play and socialise, parents need to be aware of what their children see and hear on the Internet, who they meet, and what they share about themselves. Every age group – from toddlers to teens – comes with its own parental concerns. But there are some general guidelines that are good to keep in mind for children of all ages. Keep usernames and passwords safe Many of the websites your kids use require usernames and passwords. Make sure they know not to give this information to anyone – even their friends. Teach them to keep usernames and passwords private and change their passwords if you suspect they’ve been compromised. In fact, it’s best to change passwords intermittently as a matter of online hygiene. Every 3-6 months, or if accounts or platforms report hacking or data breaches, is a good habit for children to get into. Don’t give out personal information Children should never tell anyone their full real name, address, neighbourhood, or phone number online. They should never share any information that could lead a predator to find them. Even small details like their school’s name or sports team are enough to give away their identity. Be discerning on social media The Internet is vast, yes. But embarrassing pictures, rude comments, and personal information can leave a lasting, even permanent, mark. Remind your children that anything they post online immediately becomes public property and anyone can view it. Check age requirements Many apps and websites have age restrictions to set up accounts, browse, or join them. But they seldom actually have age verification in place. For instance, Facebook and Snapchat only allow users 13 and up, but signing up is as simple as filling in a false age. Explain location sharing Most apps and websites these days have some kind of geo-tagging or location-sharing feature. Children need to know the dangers of sharing their location – from online predators who can find them to identity theft – so they don’t agree to it or unknowingly click the pop-up boxes that allow it. Create a list of Internet rules Sit with your children and make a list of Internet rules together. You can introduce them to kid- and teen-friendly sites, talk about why Internet rules are important, and encourage them to tell you if they feel uncomfortable or threatened by anything they find on the Internet. Set boundaries but be realistic. Use the golden rule online, too Teach your children that the golden rule applies just as much online as it does face-to-face. Children should be kind and polite to people online and should say nothing over text they wouldn’t say to someone’s face, even if they are posting anonymously. Explain fake ads Talk to your children about Adware and similar scams they might encounter on the Internet. Often, these look like real offers to entice children to download a fake app, sign up for a sweepstake, or offer personal information in exchange for free products. They can be links to share with friends or post on social networks. If children know that these scams exist, they’ll be less likely to fall for them. Educate children about meeting strangers in person Children should never meet up with strangers they met online unless you are there to supervise the meeting. Teach them not to interact with people they don’t know offline. Online predators or cyberbullies can disguise themselves so your children might not know they are talking to someone who found them online. Monitor Internet history For all ages, it’s a good idea to spot-check your browser history to get a sense of what sites your children are visiting. Be completely transparent about checking their usage so they don’t feel spied on. Enable history tracking and check it across all Internet-enabled devices. If you come across any untoward sites, ask your children about them. Set parental controls Set up and review parental controls on all your devices at age-appropriate levels to protect children from accessing inappropriate content online. You can also use them to set usage times, monitor activity, and prevent the sharing of personal information. Run antivirus program Run antivirus software on all your devices to protect them from incoming threats. It can also seek out, destroy, and warn of threats to the system. Antivirus software keeps up with the latest threats and stays on top of new viruses, which come out all the time. Use a trusted cybersecurity solution Cybersecurity tools, like Kaspersky Safe Kids, help you safeguard your children’s activities, monitor their behaviour and protect them when they are online. Choose one you can use on all your child’s devices, and that is flexible enough to change with them as their needs change and as they get older. Most importantly, talk with your children about how to use the Internet safely, the tools you use to protect them, and how and why you monitor their online activities. To support parents and guardians in keeping their children safe online, Kaspersky and Parenting Hub are giving 5 lucky readers a chance to win a license code to Kaspersky Safe Kids – a parental control software that helps to safeguard children’s activities online. You can enter this amazing give-away when you click here By Bethwel Opil, Enterprise Sales Manager at Kaspersky in Africa

July 14, 2022

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