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Preserving Family Memories

Life should be about acknowledging the past, enjoying the present and preparing for the future. By balancing the three we’re able to live happier and better-rounded lives. Children who have love linking the past, the present and the future are better equipped for success, as their sense of belonging is higher. Looking back on your past, what keepsakes do you have that’ll trigger reminders of the good times? What about the present? How do you track your life? And the future, what are you doing to prepare for it? Much of our past is lost, damaged or nonexistent. Sometimes if we have a few memorabilia, they are often out of sight and out of mind. Wouldn’t it be rewarding to pull out records of who we were and what we were about to showcase to our children? Wouldn’t this offer them an overview of our lives and provide them with a better sense of belonging? They might even be intrigued by our own legacy, don’t you think? Let’s deal with the present: Most of our households have childhood memories stashed randomly all over the house. Have you ever thought of how much space you waste? Have you considered how time consuming it can be searching for that particular art, or the book of photos you put somewhere? In search of a particular memory, you might even come across a precious keepsake you had long forgotten about. Doesn’t this indicate some sort of chaos? If you’re like most parents you have your children’s certificates, photos and art squashed into sleeves that are in most cases small and inadequate. Sometimes boxes fill up with larger art and assorted mementos. Does this sound familiar? Have you haphazardly placed various precious items into the box only to realise that you seldom get a chance to look through these treasures? Isn’t it a pain sifting through rumbled layers of differently sized paintings, projects and photos only to be confused with which year they actually belong because they haven’t been dated? Also, what may have once been in some sort of chronological order gets shuffled each time you go through your treasure box or top shelf, becoming a disorganised mess, right? Time consuming and frustrating isn’t it? Have you noticed how dogs’ ears start forming and paper starts to crinkle? These are signs of damage. What about kid’s art and projects that have been folded in half because you just don’t have a place big enough to put them? If you’re not experiencing any of this yet it could be because your children are still very small. If this is you, think for a minute where you’ve put your child’s ante natal scans, birth certificate or clinic card; how about the going home outfit, first set of booties or even your baby record book, photos or videos. With a jumble of life’s irreplaceable moments fragmented all over the place, do you know what you’ve stored and where? Also how often do you actually go through thousands of digital photos? Isn’t the idea of taking photos and videos to capture moments to jog our memories and reminisce about milestones, families, friends, achievements, events and days gone by? In a world where technology has taken over we often miss the opportunities to sit down, pause and ponder the essence of life. Due to our busy lifestyles don’t our families often experience levels of disconnect? Aren’t our children our everything? By effectively preserving their precious memories and mementos we can ensure that each stage of their life is well connected. A child that can look back in their past, nourishes the way they perform in the present and ultimately helps them to excel moving forward. Being able to track life successes equips each individual with a proud sense of achievement, uplifting their self-esteem and propelling them to outshine their last performance. We can further provide our children with a proud sense of belonging by capturing their life experiences in a way that can be shared and enjoyed regularly with family and friends. Combine this love and support with assorted childhood art, photos, achievements, projects,digital memories and you’ll enjoy a happier and more confident child in return. You’re invited to explore a revolutionary patented all-in-one system. MY FILE ABOUT ME preserves and displays all precious memories, art, photos and achievements together. This ultra-simple approach to memory keeping is ridiculously quick to put together and easy to use. No cutting or gluing is required plus it will save you so much space and time! When you own MY FILE ABOUT ME you’ll love how neat, tidy and organised it is. So effective, you’ll enjoy a year-by-year story beautifully laid out. Totally customisable, MY FILE ABOUT ME focuses around the needs and strengths of each individual child. From pregnancy throughout school and beyond you can record just one stage, a select few or include them all. Designed to grow together with your child, you can refill and expand your kit to your heart’s desire. Built to stand the test of time: How would you like to create a legacy of your child to pass down his/her complete childhood story from generation to generation?

March 17, 2016

Handy Tech Tips For The Back To School Run

Faryal Sacoor, Merchandising Buying Manager at Incredible Connection The back to school season is officially in full swing and many parents are still scratching their heads trying to find the best technology to help with their children’s education and learning. To help relieve you of any potential headaches, here’s a list of pointers. Many schools throughout the country are jumping on the digital age bandwagon and are now starting to embrace tablets and their associated benefits. But for some, it is still quite unnerving to say goodbye to traditional handbooks and embrace everything in electronic format. Without sounding too Borg-like, resistance seems to be futile. In fact, today’s learners are embracing a medium they have grown comfortable with given the growth of digital music and video, games, apps, and instant messaging. It’s often hard to believe that the younger generation are comfortable with tablets – even from as young as 2 – 3 years of age. A great example of this is the ClickTab Kids. This 7” 3G enabled tablet caters specifically for children between the ages of 3 and 10 years. The tablet comes pre-loaded with over 25 Apps and age appropriate Games for children with access to an App store with hundreds more. And for those inevitable drops and falls, the unit also comes fitted with a durable silicone rubber sleeve built to absorb the potential falls. Most importantly, is the built in parental controls that allow parents to limit the time that children can spend on the tablets, the time of day that play is allowed and even WhatsApp and games they can access. Parents can even set up profiles for different children of different ages and manage each child’s profile separately. For those with older kids, there is another tablet option with features such as voice calling, dual sim, FM radio and 3G embedded – and of course a front and rear camera to cater for the “selfie” generation, just to name a few. And in addition to a tablet, instead of relying on fingers that can very easily get dirty, consider buying a stylus. It helps with the transition from pen and paper to the screen and also enables really fine work for creative types who love drawing on their tablets. This makes a great birthday gift as well because it is so cost-effective and comes in a number of colours and styles. But tablets aside, there are also other gadgets on the market that can benefit children and do not necessarily cost an arm and a leg E-reader – there is something to be said for reading on a display that is designed to be as natural to the printed paper as possible. Factor in amazing storage and incredible battery life that potentially spans weeks and you have a more than functional device for the avid bookworm. What’s more – there are so many versions and options available that will not only meet your requirements and budget but one that the whole family can enjoy. Fitness Band – Another great gadget to consider is a fitness band like the Fitbit for example. With the rising trend of childhood obesity in South Africa, being active is vital to children growing up and this handy little device is a great way to motivate you and keep track of fitness goals which can then be incorporated where relevant across the family – ensuring that you have fun and exercise with your kids. There are a variety of fitness bands available on the market today are really great for basic use and most of them work very well in practise. In the end, your buying decision needs to be based around comfort and aesthetics. Of course, parents also should never lose sight of safety and security. This means for whatever technology you choose an anti-virus or internet security programme is a must. Most feature parental controls to help with internet monitoring as well as time restrictions when it comes to surfing the internet or playing games. Fortunately, many of the more well-known solutions come with multiple licenses so parents can install them on a tablet, laptop, and smartphone without any hassles. And of course you don’t want the hassle if something goes wrong with your products – so make sure you check warranties and return policies. Go for a technology outlet that offers a no-nonsense warranty 1 year swop out and even better, if they have a rental options or trade in options available, where you can bring in your old tech and get a great deal on new models then even better! Technology is a great aid for children and parents alike. While it might be intimidating at times, using the internet for research or asking staff at a retail outlet for advice and assistance should make the transition that much easier to ensure you get a fun and educational device for your kids, but one that is also safe and provides peace of mind for mom and dad.

February 12, 2016

Review: The Disney Book Club

In this crazy world of technology and digital media, there’s something so special and comforting about holding a beautifully printed book in your hands. For little chidren, to look at those glossy illustrations and link them to the story that once they are able to read, they can read to themselves, creates an opportunity for them to be transported to another world, another time and place. Here they can set their imaginations free and immerse themselves into the wonderful world of make believe. No-one understands this better than Disney Book Club, who make it so easy for parents to build up a library of affordable amazing books that their children will read over and over again and can cherish well into adulthood. Parenting Hub found out that when you join the Disney Book Club, you receive a free gift and two trial books for only R64,99 per book, plus postage. Membership is free and there are also no joining fees. Along with your free gift and your trial books, you also receive a beautiful welcome backpack. The team at Parenting Hub were so impressed with this incredible offer! We were sent copies of some of these stunning books to review – titles included : Walle 101 Dalmatians Frozen Planes Each of these books is printed with a font-size that is just perfect for children who are able to read to themselves. The illustrations are colourful and larger than life so that your child won’t become bored reading to themselves, in fact they will enjoy the simplicity of being able to do so.Parenting Hub and the team, would highly recommend that you join the Disney Book Club where over time, you can inexpensively create a fabulous library of great books for your children. You can signup for the Disney Book Club or find out more information by clicking here

December 17, 2015

The Gro-egg

The Gro-egg is an award winning nursery accessory that looks great and gives parents peace of mind at a glance – The innovative colour changing room thermometer changes colour to let you know whether the temperature of a room is too low, too high or just right; a yellow glow is the recommended ideal temperature 16-20°C, whilst a blue glow indicates it’s cold 16°C and red shows it’s too hot 24°C. A quick check on the Gro-egg will let you know whether to cool or heat the room, modify the baby’s clothing or use a different tog Grobag Baby Sleep Bag to make your child more comfortable. Grobag come in a variety of different togs to suit the temperature of the child’s nursery; 0.5 tog for warmer temperatures 24-27°C, 1.0 tog for nurseries of 20-23°C, 2.5 tog 16-18°C and for colder winter temperatures of under 16°C the 3.5 tog. It is very important to dress your child correctly and be aware of nursery temperatures to help check your baby isn’t overheating. The Gro Company works closely with The Lullaby Trust a charity that promotes safer sleep practices, they advise that “Babies who get too hot are at an increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome… getting a room thermometer will help you create a safer sleeping environment for your baby”. Francine Bates, Chief Executive, The Lullaby Trust The attractive Gro-egg also acts as a gentle night light; its soft glow helps you to check on your baby as they sleep without waking them. The Gro-egg has an easy to understand colour coded system for parents to recognise when nursery temperatures change so they can keep their children at safe temperatures; Yellow for the ideal temperature as recommended by The Lullaby Trust, red shows too hot 24°C and blue 16°C indicates too cold. Digital thermometer with permanent ‘back-lit’ easy to read LCD readout. It is a gentle night light that reassures parents checking on baby in the dark. Instructions and safe sleep information is supplied with the Gro-egg.

November 22, 2015

Keeping your kids safe on the Internet

Us South Africans are an incredibly security conscious bunch. We tend to focus a lot of attention around security in our homes and in our vehicles, especially when it comes to protecting our children. But what about the virtual realm? Are we doing enough to ensure their safety when it comes to things like the Internet, social networking, and mobile devices? The Internet is a veritable treasure trove of information on any conceivable topic. In the past, we had to go to a library to research a project or to find out more about a particular subject. Today, thanks to faster and more affordable Internet access, we are connected around the clock. Irrespective of whether we are using a tablet, smartphone, laptop, or a good old-fashioned desktop computer, access is taken for granted. As parents, we have a responsibility to balance the benefits the digital world brings with the risks that are out there. Children need to be protected against contact with undesirable people, inappropriate or harmful content, and malicious software or attacks. Social networking and online gaming have made it easy for our children (and ourselves) to interact with people from all over the world. Sadly, this has also made it incredibly easy for cyberbullies, paedophiles, and other nefarious people to get in touch with children. Growing up in a digital environment has resulted in teenagers and younger children having quite different notions of privacy than what we had. It was easy not to talk to strangers before the Internet. Now, you do not even know who a stranger is, as identify theft is common and malicious users can gleam much from even the basic information people share online. In fact, tricking children into sharing personal information is one of the easiest ways that they can be exploited. As mentioned, accessing content on a variety of topics has become as easy as typing a query into a search engine and viewing the results. From links to Web pages, images, and videos, there is nothing that cannot be found quickly and easily online. Sadly, this also means that it is not that difficult to find sexually explicit content or download music and video files illegally. Often, these searches start off with the best of intentions. Your child might be searching for photographs for a project or even video clips on how something is made. A few clicks later, and that benign search suddenly transforms into explicit images. Understandably, it is not always easy for parents to talk to children about online safety when they themselves are unsure of how the technology works and what it could be used for. Kaspersky Lab has created a list of easy to remember ‘rules’ for children that parents can discuss with them. These should be seen as almost as important as road safety rules that are there to keep them safe and out of harm. Do not give out your name, school, or home address to anyone over the Internet. Even if you think you have made a friend online – if anyone asks for these details – you never give them out. In fact, please tell your parents or an adult immediately, so they can check this out for you. If someone tries to ‘friend’ you on the Internet, be careful. Be sure, you know who you are talking to online, and if you do not know this person, do not give them any details and rather report this to someone you trust. Be careful about what photos you place online or what videos you upload. While it is such fun to share our photos and videos with friends and family – make sure that photos and videos do not give away any clues about your location or where you may live. If you have an older sibling or even your parents that use a smartphone – make a note to tell them not to use the function of ‘geo-tagging’ on social media sites like Facebook. This is a function which tells everybody on Facebook where you are – like at a restaurant or at the movies. But by doing this, it can be unsafe as it gives away your location. From a parenting perspective, here are a few steps you can take to reduce the chances of your children being exposed to any such risks: Talk to your children about the potential dangers that they may face online. If possible, make use of 1 family computer and place it in a central ‘family room’ in the house. Try to make the computer a shared family experience. Encourage your children to talk to you about anything they experience online that upsets them or makes them feel uncomfortable. Restrict the content that can be accessed via the computer using an effective Internet security solution. You can also provide clear guidelines that let your child know what they are allowed and are not allowed to do on the Internet. For example, your guidelines could tell your child whether they are permitted to: Register with social networking or other Web sites. Make online purchases. Download music, video, or programme files. Use instant messaging programmes. Visit Internet chat rooms. If your child is allowed to use instant messaging or visit chat rooms, it is worth explaining to them that it is dangerous to chat with or send messages to anyone that they do not know and trust. In addition to these steps, you can also install a rigorous Internet security solution (like that of Kaspersky Internet Security – multi-device 2016) that is capable of defending the computer against malicious programmes and hackers. Many security software products combine anti-virus capabilities and advanced parental control features that make it easier to protect your children when they are online. Despite the risks, you should not avoid going online. There are numerous benefits to the digital world. Just remain informed and educate your children on the dangers that are out there.

October 28, 2015

The Amazing Sleep Trainer for Young Children

Toddlers are inquisitive little people. Their heads are filled with new exciting ideas, their hearts are full of adventure and they start each morning full of energy for the new day. Buy, this start might be at an entirely inappropriate time for parents! As a parent of a toddler, there is nothing worse than hearing your child at 5am and realising that they are ready to start their day right away. It is socially acceptable for a toddler to have a daytime nap, but that is less acceptable for tired parents! However if we consider for a moment how the toddler must feel, we realise that it is not as simple as just going back to bed. As adults, if we wake in the night we can check our clocks and know that we have hours more sleep to have before we need to be up. Toddlers don’t yet have that ability. How do they know the difference between 3 minutes until wake up time, and 3 hours? During the sunny summer months, with late sunsets and early sunrises how do they know that daylight outside doesn’t necessarily mean it is time to wake up? Thank goodness the Gro Company has the solution. Introducing the Gro-clock is a toddler sleep training clock that can help the entire family to manage their sleep patterns. By aiding children’s understanding of day and night, it can help prevent early morning wake up calls. The Gro-clock has an illuminated LCD screen with friendly images of stars, and a sun to communicate ‘sleep’ and ‘wake –up’ time. It comes with a free bedtime book called ‘Sleepy Farm’ that explains in a simple and toddler-friendly story, why to use the clock, and why it is important to stay in bed until the sun. The clock is set by the parents, who designate a ‘wake-up’ time. At night the toddler and their parent read the story, and then say goodnight to their clock. The clock ‘goes to sleep’ (the screen shows a sleeping star surrounded by small stars. Through the night the stars count down and in the morning at the designated wake-up time, the screen changes to a happy yellow sun. If the toddler wakes in the night, they will be able to see the stars and understand that it is not morning time yet. They know that it isn’t morning until the sun comes up. By counting down the stars and waiting for the sun to come up, children learn what time they can get out of bed – as set by their parents. The Gro-clock teaches a healthy sleep routine which can transform families’ lives. There is a digital clock display for older children, which is great for encouraging number and time recognition. For toddlers who want to press the buttons on their clock, there is a parental key lock option! The Gro-clock allows parents to enter two different wake up times, so their child can use the clock for their night time sleep and their daytime nap. The brightness on the screen is adjustable and in case it is needed, there is also an alarm clock option. The Gro-clock genuinely changes parents lives, in the UK there are over 1500 5* reviews on Amazon, and parents all over the world can’t stop talking about it! ‘I don’t think I could be without our Gro-Clock now and I would highly recommend it for toddlers!’ Laura Evelyn Bee- Parent Blogger and mum of 3 year old girl. ‘Darcie rarely wakes now and if she does she normally can self soothe. I really don’t know why I have waited so long to try this amazing product …! So if you’re struggling with bedtime and getting them to stay in their own room, make sure you give this a try’ Mummy Burgess- parent blogger and mum of 2 year old Darcie 5am wake ups can be a thing of the past with the Gro-clock- How do you get your children to understand when it’s time to get up? SIMPLE “stay in bed until you see the sun!”

September 21, 2015

Should You Read Your Child’s Social Media Posts?

There is a lot being written about whether parents should be reading content their Child’s post on social media channels. Before I give you my opinion, let me share with you the two opposing points of view from experts. Some say you should read them and others say you shouldn’t. Let’s explore the reasons given by those on both sides of this issue. First of all, both supporters and opponents of monitoring Child’s social media posts agree on one thing… that it should all start with a conversation: talking about appropriate use of social media, setting up ground rules, and discussing online safety. Parents who will be monitoring their children’s activity also usually advise them they will be sharing all passwords and will be checking their posts at random and without warning. But these two groups disagree when it comes to trusting Child’s ability to behave safely and appropriately consistently when online. Those in support of monitoring believe it is the parents’ job to keep their Child’s safe. They do it because of two facts: Child’s can be influenced easily by peers or predators who encourage inappropriate behaviour, and Child’s lack judgment skills due to a normal underdeveloped brain. Those who oppose having parents read their Child’s’ social media posts stand on two other primary principles: that spying on your Child’s will teach them to hide their online activity better, and the best way to develop trust in your child is to let them know you trust them by not monitoring them. These are two very false premises that are continuing to grow in popularity with some parents. If I have to pick a camp to join, it would be the MONITORING camp. While the anti-monitors know there is a small risk of danger to the child, they are willing to accept it. I on the other hand, cannot allow any risk to our children’s safety and well-being, no matter how small it may appear. Yes, there is always a risk to our children’s safety, whether we’re monitoring or not, but I believe that we should always take reasonable measures to reduce that risk. Providing access to our child to other risk-taking youth, or to predators should never be a viable option. This should be considered nothing more than child endangerment! It is my professional opinion that children shouldn’t have a basic cell phone, nor a social media account, until at least 13 years of age, the age specified by Facebook (smart phones no sooner than 16). And they should be strictly monitored at least up until they reach the age of 16, perhaps later for some teens, depending on their developmental maturity. It’s alarming how young I’m noticing children with smart phones and reading Facebook updates. And commercial companies aren’t helping matters by making smart phone toys for toddlers and preschoolers. It’s actually training children to have a device tethered to them way too early in their young lives.

August 17, 2015

How To Role-Model Healthy Technology Use For Your Children

When I provide my talks to school children on cyber sense, they often nod in agreement when I mention that they aren’t the only ones who need to learn to find a healthy balance in their lives between social interaction, activity and technology. Adults are just as bad as children when it comes to overusing the technology we have at our disposal. The disturbing part is that is that we’re meant to be role models to our kids. The days of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ are over. Whether we like it or not, kids are pretty informed these days about their rights and they’re strongly influenced by outside forces. It’s far easier to set boundaries for children when they can see that we’re setting them for ourselves. Technology has a way of insidiously creeping into our lives and then spreading its tentacles until it has taken us over completely, reducing our real-time interactions with others. For many of us, life has become so busy that if we don’t fill every moment, we feel guilty. When (and why) did it become a requirement to be available every minute of the day? It fascinates me that the more independent and ‘free’ we have become, the more bogged down we actually are. Few of us take the time to ‘stop and smell the roses’ – as in relax, breathe, do yoga, dance, exercise, play, read, be still. Instead, we tend to go back to our crutch, technology, to get off the endless treadmill. Many of us are so addicted to our gadgets and unused to spending time with our own thoughts or conversing with others that we feel lost without a cell phone or other gadget in our hands. We’re losing our ability to think creatively (just ask Google!) and do things with our hands – play a musical instrument, paint, build, create. The real point I’m trying to make is that our children are losing out. Aside from learning unhealthy habits, many feel neglected and sad that their parents spend more time on their devices than with them. The message they’re getting is that work (and social media) is more important than making time for them. Here are a few ideas for being a better technology role model: Walk the talk – When kids are around, set an example by using media the way you’d like them to use it. Eat together at the dinner table where you can catch up on each other’s day. Put all cell phones on silent or off in a basket nearby. Only keep the phone on if you’re expecting an urgent call, but try to keep that time together sacrosanct. Turn the TV off if no-one is watching it – record or PVR shows to watch later. Remove or switch off all distractions during important family time. Just like you’d want your child to turn their devices off when they’re studying, doing their homework or at a social interaction, you should do the same. Note: If you’re really desperate about your child’s over usage, look into new apps like ‘DinnerTime Parental Control’ which enables parents to restrict when children can use their smartphones and tablets. ‘DinnerTime Plus’ lets parents manage the apps their children use, see what they are watching in real-time plus you can purchase reports on how much time they are spending on certain apps. With ‘Screen-Time’ parents can push a button on their android phones to block usage on their children’s devices and they can also set daily time limits for particular apps. ‘MyMobileWatchdog’ is an app that allows parents to keep a check on what their children are up to on their phones (not advisable unless you have reason to worry). Set boundaries – It’s a good idea to start setting time limits on the use of devices when your children are young. You can discuss these with them and if necessary, gradually increase these limits when they get older. Work out how much time they can spend on their i-pads, playing video games, watching TV and using their cell phones. There are health implications to all the electro-magnetic rays we are all being exposed to and some scientists believe that children are especially vulnerable, as their brains are still developing. It’s really important that we set boundaries for ourselves too by separating work time from family time – this will set a good example to our children, improve relationships and help them create healthy habits later on. Use media together – Whenever you can, watch, play with and listen to your children. Ask their opinion of movies, TV shows, ads, social media. Share your values, and help kids relate what they learn in the media to events and other activities in which they’re involved. Share posts from your FaceBook and Instagram accounts with your older children. Ask if you can be their friend on social media sites so you can keep a benevolent, watchful eye over them like a helpful guardian – don’t embarrass them by being too involved! Set a good example of cell phone etiquette – Put your phone on silent when you’re with your child, a friend, or anyone else – unless you’re expecting an important call. In that case, if it rings, answer it and explain you’re busy but will phone them back when you’re free. It isn’t good manners to chat away loudly on your cell phone while everyone has to sit around listening to you. Usually it isn’t anything that can’t wait. If it is something you absolutely have to deal with right there and then, excuse yourself and explain why you have to take the call. Turn phones off or on silent while at movies, at weddings, funerals, school meetings, etc. Unless you have hands free, don’t talk on your phone while driving. Aside from setting a bad example, you are endangering your life, your passengers, and others on the road. More and more accidents are being caused by drivers

June 18, 2015

Give Your Kids THIS, NOT THAT!

If you have attended any of my local workshops or have read any of my content, you know that I’m usually preaching that parents must take charge of their kids use of technology and the Internet. But what sometimes gets missed in my messages is that there are certain things our kids DO need and others they DON’T. One thing that leads parents to not withholding technology, devices and the Internet is their fear that their kids will be left out and fall behind in the digital age. Some even fear that their kids will lose friends or get bullied if they aren’t online and interacting with their peers. So, to help parents get it all straight, here are some guidelines on what our children and young teens should be allowed to have and what they shouldn’t. Keep in mind that these are guidelines are not set in stone as some families and situations may require specific modifications. GIVE YOUR KIDS THIS: A Computer Keyboarding skills are critical for school age children and a centrally located family computer for your kids and young teens to use is important. It should be set up with a set of rules and limitations on use. The parent should have a discussion on those rules before turning the child loose. They should include a rule on when it can be used, when it should be turned off, and what it can be used for. Parents also reserve the right to look over the child’s shoulder, monitor activity and check out the history from time to time. NOT THAT: A Smart Phone (or a Cell Phone Too Early) No child needs an iPhone or Droid in their pocket. Give them one is like giving them an unmonitored computer whenever they want it use it. For those seeking guidelines, if you really think your child needs a hand-held device, children under 13 should not have a cell phone and those under 16 should not have a smart phone. For parents who ignore these guidelines, then at the very least, they should consider monitoring their child’s activity on the device to keep them safe. GIVE YOUR KIDS THIS: Software Knowing how to use software programs such as Power Point, Word, Excel and event Minecraft will help your child go a long way in their education and experience. Many entry level jobs require these technology skills. They also engage your child’s creativity and imagination. But like anything else, all good things should be used in moderation. NOT THAT: Social Media Just because your kids want a Snapchat or Instagram account, doesn’t mean you should allow them to have one. The use of these apps for social media requires skills our children have not yet developed, such as knowing what information not to share online, knowing who to trust, discerning between a quiz, an advertisement, or a scam, how to protect their privacy, and even how to block, delete, and report predators. Yes, our children are young digital natives but that doesn’t mean they should have access to everything, anytime they want it. It is our job to keep them safe, to minimize their exposure to digital media, and to teach them delayed gratification. According to Dr. David Greenfield at the Center for Technology Addiction in Hartford, CT, technology in any form, for children and adults, should be monitored, managed, and minimized.

April 17, 2015

How to Work from Home with Kids

Thanks to the modern workforce, many employers allow some employees to work from home when circumstances exist, such as inclement weather, schools closed, illness and personal situations. When my children were very small, this opportunity wasn’t available to me. If I had car trouble, my kids were sick, or if I had a utility company coming to the house for a hook up, it usually meant using up sick or vacation time. If you’re a parent, with some planning and strategy, you can make working from home with kids way more effective. Here are 5 tips to help you make it happen. Special Toys. Is there something special that your children just love to play with, especially ones that keep them engaged for long periods of time without bothering you? Purchase them and set them aside as special toys that can be played with under special circumstances, such as when you have to work from home. Keeping them out of sight and out of reach create a reverence for them that will make them special and effective on days when you’re working from home. Segment The Day. Create blocks of time when your children can engage with you and those in which they can’t. Young children don’t really have a sense for the passing of time, unless they can see it. Purchase a visual timer from TimeTimer.com that allows you to set a big red timer clock so your kids can see how much time is left until they can speak to you. Create a visual schedule to go along with it, that will allow them to see when they have your attention and when they can’t. Family and Friends. Make use of those closest to you, who you trust. Barter with parents and others to come watch the kids during your busiest times, or to take them out to give you the peace and quiet you need. Return that favour to others when you can watch theirs. You’d be surprised how creative you can get when discussing bartering ideas with someone else. Digital Entertainment. Everyone knows that putting your kids in front of a movie can keep them engaged for quite a while. But because of new evidence surrounding the impacts of technology addiction, it’s not a good idea to allow your children to become glued to the television all day. Experts have found that small increments of digital entertainment are OK and should not exceed 30 – 60 minutes at a time. With this in mind, plan TV time for your children strategically for the segments in your day that you really need complete quiet, such as conference calls or content development. Extend Your Hours. Finally, knowing in advance that you may have to leave your computer to feed or spend time with your children, think outside of the 8 – 5 work day. Get some work time in, early in the morning before the kids wake up or even after hours when they are in bed.

December 9, 2014

Should You Let Your Child Play Minecraft?

A client of mine asked me what I thought about her child playing Minecraft on the family computer. She said he is constantly begging her to let him play and complains that all of his friends are playing it. This child’s school is even dabbling with allowing the kids to use it in the classroom. My simple answer was YES, but it comes with a more complex HOW and WHEN to let him play it. Let me explain in more detail. What is it? Minecraft is an interesting and time-consuming game that was created in 2011 by an independent company Mojang, a Swedish software developer. In September of this year, the company was purchased by Microsoft for $2.5 million. The developers also released another game called Scrolls. This first person, sandbox type of game has few rules, no story line, and allows users to create items and buildings from resources they find around them. It is an open-ended, exploration type of game that also has monsters the users can fight using swords and bows. This game is a bit primitive from a graphics standpoint and there is no blood and gore. Many have referred to it as a Legos-type video game. The Positives Kids who play this game develop problem-solving and design-thinking skills. They learn creative thinking, geometry and even a little geology as they create imaginative block structures and collaborate with others in building structures and communities. With this game, they can use their imagination to build and show off their digital creations. Experts suggest that children be 11 years of age and older, yet many parents believe that children as young as 8 years can master it and learn. The Drawbacks Parents need to know that this game is part of a large online community, hosted by private, adult-run servers that are not moderated in any way. This means that your child can be contacted by adult strangers online through chat conversations, who play the game and participate. Other risks include your child being exposed to adult-natured conversations, profanity, and sexually oriented objects or digital images (for example, phallic-shaped buildings). Precautions Many parents will think that the benefits to their child of allowing them to play, outweigh the risks if some rules and boundaries are set in place. Here are some suggestions if you decide to allow your child to play Minecraft. Locate a common-use computer in a well-traveled area of your home where your child can play the game. This will allow you and other adults to “check in” and observe your child as they play. Ban all computers from bedrooms of children and younger teens. Limit your child’s play of Minecraft to 30 – 60 minutes on weekdays and no more than 2 hours on weekend days. Setting these limits will keep time on the game in perspective with the rest of your child’s world, and make more time for active play, reading, homework and family time. Engage your child in conversation about the game and their experiences often. Invite them to show you what they are building and consider participating with them on some level, especially if they are under the age of 11. Finally, get to know the parents of your child’s friends they visit for playtime in their homes. Find out what supervision and computer access your child may have there when they visit and play.

November 13, 2014

Communicating with Teenagers: Sharing Life Experiences and ‘Mum Wisdom’ with Your Daughter

Ensuring that the lines of communication between you and your daughter are always open is one of the best ways to stay connected. Find out how sharing life experiences – with empathy and understanding – can be an important part of strengthening this relationship. It will also assist your daughter on her journey towards self-discovery and help improve her self-esteem. When it comes to growing up, the speed of change has never been faster than it is today and sometimes it can seem that there is a world of difference between your teenage experiences and the life of your teenage daughter. Just because you might be from the pre-digital age, however, doesn’t mean that there is a big difference between your life experiences. It’s the way that situations and discoveries make girls feel about themselves, how it affects their self-confidence, rather than specific details, that’s important. Often it’s the emotional upheavals of adolescence that are similar between mothers and daughters. The understanding that you have of your daughter’s experience is in effect ‘mum wisdom’. Sharing these common emotions and how you coped with them at your daughter’s age is a great way to help her build her own self-image and self-esteem as she gets older. It can be the foundation of a great line of communication between you and your daughter. Listening First, Solutions Second The key to effective communication is listening to any worries and difficulties that your daughter may be having and not leaping to judgments or immediately dispensing advice. Dove Self-Esteem Project Advisory Board member, Dr Christina Berton, urges any mum to “remember how different situations made you feel, and give plenty of space for listening. You want to stay connected, so you need to allow her to share her emotions with you, not feel that you are going to judge her as soon as she opens her mouth.” In order to show empathy you need to put yourself in her shoes and imagine how she is feeling. By doing this you will be creating a stronger bond between the two of you and make communicating in the future a lot easier because there is a mutual understanding of how the other feels (or has felt). Focus on your daughter when you’re sharing life experiences. Some mothers want to show that they understand what their daughters are going through by sharing some of their own life experiences. Dr Phillippa Diedrichs, research psychologist and body image expert, suggests that mums should open up about their own lives, but keep the overall focus of their conversation on their daughter’s teenage experiences, as this is likely to be most helpful. “To feel supported, your daughter needs to see that you are really listening to what she is saying and that you are really there for her,” she says. “Sharing a related story from your own experience of growing up can be helpful if the intention is to show your daughter that you’ve had similar feelings in the past.” Your Teenage Experiences Won’t Be Exactly The Same. “It’s important that mothers don’t expropriate their daughters’ experiences as it’s unlikely they have had exactly the same ones as their daughter,” Dr Terri Apter says. “You shouldn’t say you know exactly what it’s like – teenage girls want to feel unique. Also, for the mother, whatever happened was a long time ago; for the daughter, it’s raw, and it hurts.” What if she’s telling you something that is beyond what you have experienced? Dr Diedrichs points out that it’s important to engage using empathy. “The most important thing is to show that you’re listening to her and you are there for her to tell you whatever she needs to share,” she says. It’s important that your daughter knows that you’re not only interested in hearing about her own experiences and how these make her feel but, most importantly, that she can always rely on you to be there to work through anything. What Next: Action Steps to Help When Communicating with Your Daughter One way to encourage your daughter to feel that she can talk to you is by bringing up subjects from the news that touch on what teenagers are interested in. Remember to ask what she thinks before you tell her your views. If you are tempted to compare a particular experience of hers with one from your youth, ask her first if she would like to hear it. It’s great to be there for your daughter but you still need to act like a parent, not a friend. That means you can be supportive and loving, but your responses should reflect that you are her role model. It’s good to be familiar with social media but you don’t have to compete with her. To read more articles like this visit the Dove Self Esteem website: http://selfesteem.dove.co.za/

November 7, 2014

Furby Boom Takes Playtime To A New Level Of Learning And Fun

A global sensation following its 1998 debut, the FURBY brand has solidified its place in pop culture history. Prima Toys South Africa is proud to announce the follow up to the FURBY craze, the creature with a ‘mind of its own’ – FURBY BOOM. Once again revolutionising digitally-integrated play, surprising and delighting fans of all ages, FURBY BOOM is the state of the art progression that features all the ‘magic’ and personality of its predecessor with twice the content. The new FURBY BOOM combines physical and digital play for a fun type of entertainment experience including the ability to hatch digital FURBLING friends. The FURBY BOOM creature takes kids on a digital adventure via their mobile device as they raise, care for and play games with their playmate. As owners play with and care for their FURBY BOOM friend they will earn colorful virtual eggs that in time will each hatch and become a FURBLING virtual friend. Both owners and FURBY BOOM can feed, play, and interact with the virtual FURBLING creatures who speak both English and FURBISH. Most game play incorporates both physical and digital activity such as “Furball,” a soccer style game where the FURBY BOOM creature and the FURBLING virtual friend ‘kick’ a soccer ball back and forth on an onscreen ‘field.’ Fans will be able to collect over 50 eggs within the FURBY BOOM app by and eventually build a FURBY BOOM city. Eggs can be earned through game play within the app, exchanged among other FURBY BOOM owners, and a few surprises to be announced later in the year that will utilize QR codes. Through game play, FURBY BOOM owners can also earn FURBUCKS virtual currency which can be used to enhance their FURBY BOOM city. Using the new, free FURBY BOOM app owners can personalize, interact with, and care for their new furry friend. An interactive dashboard feature monitors the well being of your FURBY BOOM creature including its happiness, hunger, and cleanliness levels. Each app can monitor wellness levels for multiple creatures at one time! As owners engage with the app, their FURBY BOOM friend will react. If the dashboard indicates that it’s time for a cleaning, users can access the app’s shower feature and watch as FURBY BOOM physically reacts to the ‘temperature’ of the water! The FURBY BOOM creature also features an enhanced memory function that will allow it to remember the other FURBY BOOM friends it encounters. The personality of each FURBY BOOM is shaped by how you play with it, with the possibility of five brand new personalities to evolve. Owners can ‘get to know’ their new friend through all new LCD eye animations that express the ‘emotions’ of one of the new personalities of the FURBY BOOM creature. At launch FURBY BOOM will be available in six fashion forward pattern combinations including waves, stripes and zigzag designs. The free FURBY BOOM app will be available for download at the App Store and Google Play. The FURBY BOOM app is not required for FURBY BOOM play. FURBY BOOM requires four “AA” batteries, not included. FURBY BOOM is available at most major retailers nationwide at the recommended retail price of R1600.00

November 3, 2014

Leapfrog Unveils Leapband

Prima Toys South Africa has just announced the launch of the Leapfrog LeapBand, the first wearable activity tracker for kids, to get them active and learning whist having the most awesome time doing so. The LeapBand combines playful physical activities with a personalised virtual pet to encourage them to keep going, and track their progress. With over 50 different activities and challenges the child’s physical movements are tracked through the LeapBand, so the more active the child is, the more points their earn with their virtual pet. As the child earns points through play, they can unlock additional games, challenges, levels of play and virtual rewards. The band is styled with kids in mind, including an accelerometer, high resolution colour screen, rechargeable battery and water-resistant design. The device also doubles up as both a cool digital and analogue watch. With fun activities such as ‘leap like a frog’, ‘pop like a popcorn’, or ‘spin like a helicopter’ and many, many more, ,kids will love the interactive aspect of getting fit. Leapband is available at all leading retail outlets at the recommended retail price of R499.00 About LeapFrog LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc. is the leader in educational entertainment for children. LeapFrog’s award-winning product portfolio helps millions of children achieve their potential by delivering best-in-class curriculum through engaging content, fun multimedia learning platforms and toys. The Learning Path, LeapFrog’s proprietary online destination for parents provides personalised feedback on a child’s learning progress and offers product recommendations to enhance each child’s learning experience. Through the power of play, LeapFrog’s products and curriculum help children of all ages prepare for school and life success. LeapFrog’s products are available in more than 45 countries. LeapFrog is based in Emeryville, California, and was founded in 1995 by a father who revolutionised technology-based learning solutions to help his child learn how to read. Come see the learning at www.leapfrog.com. TM & © 2013 LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

September 1, 2014

Parenting In The Information Age

There’s no doubt that parenting is not an easy job. It requires enormous dedication, self-sacrifice, patience and love. Even with all that, there is no guarantee that our children will emerge from their childhood into the adults we hoped for. As parents we have a huge influence, however our children are also influenced by their outer circle – siblings, extended family, friends, teachers, school peers, sports coaches, etc. Nowadays we also have the Age of Information to contend with – an ever-increasing influence on our developing children. We had to gradually accustom ourselves to this digital revolution, but our children have grown up with it. It has influenced how they communicate, socialise, learn, think and play. They are continually bombarded with a sea of information through radio, TV, video games and the internet via pc’s, laptops, i-pads and cell phones. They must evaluate whether the information is relevant or not – not a simple task when your brain is still developing! We may remember our own childhoods being carefree, innocent, playful, filled with imagination and wonder but the world wasn’t really like that – we were just blissfully unaware of what was going on around us. So is it possible to raise our children to be responsible, upstanding adults who care and contribute to society? Yes, definitely; we just have to be more aware and in touch, keep up to date with technology and be good role models. We cannot bury our heads in the sand – we have to embrace this information age and keep ourselves and our children informed of the potential risks and consequences of using all the devices they have at their disposal. Some of these are: Addiction Many kids (and adults) are completely addicted to their cell phones. They feel out of touch and concerned they’ll be left out if they are not in touch 24/7. Children may also be addicted to playing games on their i-pads, playstations, x-boxes or computer video games. Health Risks The jury’s still out, but some medical research indicates that EMR’s (electro magnetic rays) emitted by devices like cell phones and i-pads can affect our children’s brain development and affect their sleep patterns. Many kids stay on their devices until the wee hours every night eventually causing sleep deprivation. RSI (repetitive strain injury) aka BlackBerry Thumb from all that texting is on the increase. Brain tumours, breast and testicular cancer are also a potential threat. Social skills Some sociologists worry that soon kids may be unable to make friends and maintain relationships without their cell phones. They don’t always give one-on-one interactions the attention they deserve due to being distracted by their phones. Face to face communication skills are being affected. Not everyone has good cellphone manners! Inhibitions lowered With the press of a key, a child can have his/her reputation ruined. Sexting is becoming a huge problem – sending inappropriate photos or text messages which are then distributed far and wide. More and more boys are accessing porn (even 9/10 year olds) which gives incorrect information, takes away the sanctity of sex, objectifies girls and women and is quite possibly linked with entitlement or violent behaviour later on, in addition to affecting their sexual response system as an adult. Cyber bullying It’s on the increase everywhere including SA. A study done in 2012 indicated that one in five high school learners in Gauteng have been a victim. Children don’t realise that putting their nasty thoughts into words online can have a huge impact on their target and on themselves. It may not just break school rules, but may also have legal implications. Predator risk People can be whoever they want to be on the internet. Children are particularly vulnerable because they may equate their popularity with the number of contacts on their cell phone, FaceBook, Twitter, SnapChat, Instagram, Tumblr, etc. Throw in the fact that they are going through puberty, unsure about their attractiveness and want to fit in and be accepted, and it’s potentially a recipe for disaster. Children accept other kids as contacts even if they’ve never met and are “followed” by total strangers. Predators cast their nets out far and wide and children are often targeted and groomed for nefarious purposes. Children don’t realise that the digital world is like a huge filing cabinet and everything they say and do is stored there for a long time, if not forever. More and more schools, universities and potential employers are looking at social media profiles to get an idea of who the person is before they make a decision on whether or not they will accept them into their institutions. One tiny mistake can have a ripple effect and make a lasting impact on a child’s life. Parents should be friends with their children on BBM, FaceBook and other social media platforms to keep an eye on their status and watch out for inappropriate posts and content. You don’t have to overdo it and make comments all the time – respect your child’s space while watching over them. You should also check out their cell phone from time to time (you should have their passwords). Explain that your responsibility to keep them safe overrides their right to privacy!

August 7, 2014

Does Your Daughter’s Social Media Profile Reflect Who She Really Is?

The other day I read an excellent blog written by a mother of boys addressed to all the young teenage girls out there. In it, she says: “I know your family would not be thrilled at the thought of my teenage boys seeing you only in your towel. Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress, he can’t quickly un-see it? You don’t want our boys to only think of you in this sexual way, do you? And so, in our house, there are no second chances with pics like that, ladies. We have a zero tolerance policy. I know, so lame. But, if you want to stay friendly with our sons online, you’ll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If you post a sexy selfie (we all know the kind), or an inappropriate YouTube video – even once – it’s curtains. I know that sounds so old-school, but we are hoping to raise men with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity don’t linger over pictures of scantily clad high-school girls.” It got me thinking because I have two sons – one soon to be 15 and the other turning 12. I too hope to raise boys with a strong moral compass. I too question some of the photos posted by young girls on SnapChat, Instagram, FaceBook, Twitter and other social media platforms. I don’t think these girls take the time to think about the fact that by posting scantily clad or pouting, provocative poses, they are giving our boys a message. They are doing themselves and other girls a disservice by encouraging male sexual objectification. Sexual objectification occurs “when a girl or woman’s body or body parts are singled out and separated from her as a person and she is viewed primarily as a physical object of male sexual desire” (Bartky, 1990). Not only this, but Fredrickson and Roberts (1997) asserted that women to varying degrees internalise this outsider view and begin to self-objectify by treating themselves as an object to be looked at and evaluated on the basis of appearance. This can lead to various issues like eating disorders, depression and sexual dysfunction. We need to keep reiterating the message to our kids that there’s a lot more to girls than just how they look. How they act is so much more important! Having said that, girls need to think carefully about the message they’re putting across when they go out wearing tight little shorts or tiny minis and skimpy tops showing lots of cleavage. Just because celebrities do it doesn’t mean it’s okay at their age. One of the questions I ask in an exercise I do with boys is: “Do you think girls are asking for trouble if they wear revealing clothing?” The vast majority say YES. There’s a fine line between trendy and sluttish. Interestingly, many of the boys I’ve talked to said that although they’re happy to look at (and perve over) “hot girls”, they’re far more likely to have a longer-term relationship with girls who are comfortable enough to be “one of the guys”, confident and comfortable with themselves, funny, honest, loyal and intelligent. Girls have so much power – they don’t need to be sexually provocative to attract boys – at least not the right kind of boys – the ones who’ll stick with you through thick and thin! So here’s the thing. You may get the attention you crave if you portray yourself as a sexual siren, but will it be from the sort of boys you want – boys with integrity, who really care about you as a person – not just you as a sexual object to be used and then discarded for someone else? Bottom line is girls, if you want to be taken seriously, don’t sell yourself short. If you want to be respected, treat yourself with respect. Think before you post.

August 7, 2014

Rev Up for Reading

How does your child fare with reading? It’s one of the first skills taught at school and has far-reaching consequences throughout your child’s life. In simple terms, literacy is the ability to read and write as well as understand and analyse the written word. Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programs at Edublox Reading and Learning Clinic, says that the implications of a child struggling to read is a serious one — a poor reader is inevitably a poor learner. The PIRLS study conducted in 2006 compared the reading abilities of children in 40 countries. South African readers were placed last. Of the Grade 4 learners tested, only 13% reached the lowest benchmark, compared with 94% internationally. Stats like this are cause for concern. The benefits of healthy reading stretch far beyond the classroom. So why is reading such a crucial skill in a modern age? Reading builds vocabulary Reading will help your child learn new words and build his vocabulary. Children also learn better language skills as they read — from sentence structure and good grammar, to new words not encountered in the child’s immediate surroundings. Reading also helps children to learn how stories are structured and the more kids read, the better writers they become. Many subjects, especially in high school, require written essays where good writers can obtain better marks. Reading improves concentration and aids relaxation Taking time out to read can help your child learn to concentrate better and focus on one task. Modern kids are so bombarded with sound, light and movement from electronic gadgets, that reading is actually relaxing for the brain. Readers are better spellers SMS language or ‘text talk’ — where 8 is ate and y is why — is contributing to a generation of poor spellers. Reading and spelling form a two-way street — each aids the other. In the higher grades, marks are deducted for spelling errors, so better spelling means better marks. In business, poor spelling is unprofessional… and before you hit spell check, remember, it’s never completely accurate! Reading can be a social activity Parents and caregivers can make reading to a younger child a special daily bonding time. Book clubs or library story time bring children from all walks of life together. They learn listening skills and then have an opportunity to articulate what they have heard and give their own opinions on the story with their peers. Words are building blocks — even in technology Many people believed that the birth of the Internet spelt the death of the written word, but the reality is that words and reading have become an even bigger part of our lives. Words are building blocks that are required in all walks of life — from writing a letter to a friend, to a slide presentation viewed by hundreds of people at a business conference. Being able to read and write is essential for communication in our technological age — just think of the number of e-mails sent around the world every day. Digital devices have an important role to play in our children’s lives but parents should also encourage kids to read print books. Digital does have some advantages over print (it’s interactive and helps to develop hand-eye co-ordination), but holding a book and turning pages is a tactile experience for children. They also tend to concentrate more on reading the actual words and understanding the story than anticipating what clicking on the next icon will bring. Reading is key in education and enrichment While reading is crucial for learning and achieving throughout the school career and into university, reading can also enrich a child’s life outside of the classroom. Avid readers often have an excellent general knowledge. Reading is a brain exercise — the more you do it the better you get!

May 11, 2014

Parenting 101 on Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet

There’s going to be a lot of Internet-Enabled devices hidden in gift-wrap this coming holiday season and many will be for children and teens. With this fact in mind, the timing for this topic may be right on schedule. Consider printing off this list of guidelines for you to read or share before turning your child, tween or teen loose with new access to the Internet. For most adults, the memories of the “playground” conjure up the play area located behind the school or down at the local park. It usually included swings, the slide and jungle gym climbing bars. But now that we live in the digital age, the playground for today’s child has become the Internet. They are on their smart phones on their way home on the school bus, they jump on the computer once they get home, or they can be found with a microphone/ear piece attached to their head while playing Call of Duty on their xBox game console. According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, in 82% of online sex crimes against minors, the offender used the victim’s social networking site to gain information about the victim. Predators out to victimize children did exist when we adults were children, but were less likely to approach us on that playground. They weren’t as brave and many did not want to risk being seen. But predators are braver today and can easily hide on the Internet. Here are tips for parents on helping keep kids safe on the Internet: Invest in the Relationship: It’s been stated that rules without relationship can result in rebellion, so before you put rules in place and enforce them, work on developing your relationship with your child. Spend time talking about Internet safety and share with them how best to use the Internet safely. Set up movie nights with the family to watch the 2010 movie ‘Catfish’ or the 2011 movie ‘Cyberbully’ with your tween or teen child. Know your child’s friends: If she is invited to a friend’s party, consider setting up a meeting with that other parent to get to know them. Use that time to share your values to assess how safe your child will be in the care of the other parents. When dropping her off or picking her up at/from the party, physically go to the door to make the exchange. If any of her friends live in homes with few or no boundaries, don’t ban that child from your child’s circle. Instead, establish a rule that this friend is always welcome in your home, but limit your child’s visit to that other home. Establish ground rules: Set up rules around the use of computers, the Internet and social media. Rules such as, only accepting friend requests from people your child has met in real life and only using the computer when an adult is at home are good guidelines to start with. Encourage your child to notify you if they receive messages from anyone they don’t know. Become Educated: Avoid turning your child loose on a device or application that you yourself have not yet used comfortably. If you allow your child to use social media, become familiar with all of the application’s capabilities and security options. Using the excuse that it’s too complex is not acceptable if you plan to allow your child to use it; ignorance is no excuse when it comes to a child’s safety. Be a Parent, Not a Friend: Determine time frames that your child can use devices and the Internet, and enforce the limitations. Secure your wireless router with a password and change it often. Working with your router can be a bit complex so consult your wireless router’s manufacturer to learn how to do it. Ban Internet-Enabled devices in your child’s bedroom and during established homework time. It was reported that the mother of the 12-year-old Florida girl who committed suicide, gave her daughter the smart phone because she wanted her daughter to like her. Take Charge of the Computer: Locate the computers your child uses in a common area where adults are likely to walk by often, and learn how to check the history of your computer’s Internet browsers to see where your child has been. Children have codes or acronyms they sometimes use to warn friends while instant messaging. POS may mean “parent over shoulder” or PIR can mean “parent in room.” Do a search on the term NETLINGO to learn more. Lock up Internet enabled devices when adults are not at home. Use Parent Controls: There are many software packages available at a reasonable price that can be downloaded and run that filter what websites your child can visit. Many others can capture keystrokes and website addresses and even generate reports for parents to review off line or after hours. Our children’s safety trumps privacy in the digital age. You don’t want your child to frequent sites such as Omegle.com, Chatroulette.com and Chaturbate.com. Not sure what I’m talking about? Visit those sites when your children aren’t around and see for yourself. Educate Your Children: The three biggest dangers on the Internet to our children are bullying, sexting and predators. Take time to explain each one and why they are a problem. Remember that education is a powerful weapon that can keep your children safe. Set up guidelines regarding sharing information about their likes, their friends and locations. Promote positive relationships around your child and be an example for them to learn from. Don’t Suffer From the Halo Effect: The term is a psychological description of a type of cognitive bias. It’s when our overall impression of a person influences how we feel and think about his or her character. I’m borrowing this term as a way of describing how some parents have difficulty considering that their child might do something inappropriate. When a child demonstrates an inappropriate behavior on the Internet, they are not a bad child. They were most likely influenced by their

October 31, 2013

Make time for National Bullying Prevention Month

Bullying can take many forms between young kids as well as with older teenagers. It can involve verbal or physical taunts hurled offline in school playgrounds or locker rooms. Or it can be more menacing, with overt threats to one’s safety. The Stop Bullying site defines bullying as unwanted, aggressive behavior, involving a range of verbal bullying, social bullying and physical bullying. Each of these behaviors evolve from an unbalanced and unnecessary power imbalance. More often in our mobile tech age, however, bullying takes its form online called cyberbullying. This online form of taunts, abuse and threatening behavior can be a terrible experience for a child. Children who get attacked from online cyberbullies can suffer from self-image issues or struggle with social interactions. Other symptoms include insecurity and depression that can arise from cyberbullying tactics. These attacks can affect school performance, too. October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, and parents and teachers will shift its focus to eliminating bullying from classrooms, playgrounds and digital outlets. Finding good sites online for parents can help with tips and activities to highlight the awareness. Activities include suggesting various media guidelines to reporters covering cyberbullying, youth engagement events and social media awareness online. With more kids and teens on the Web for entertainment and knowledge, cyberbullying is taking center stage. One of the activities planned for the month falls on October 9th — it’s Unity Day, sponsored by Pacer.org. On this day, students can come together with teachers and administrators to show their colors for unity, in this case, orange. Downloadable fliers and wrist bands for unifying the students on Unity Day can be used to broaden support against cyberbullying. Students who have been victims of phishing cyber attacks can report phishing tactics to teachers and educators. Nearly 45 percent of all children are reporting (via DoSomethingNow.org) that they have been in some way, humiliated, harassed or otherwise harmed by online bullying. So to combat this bad juju, the organization suggests setting up a good-news site for your class or school. Bring attention to the high points of a kid’s day, not the low points. Try these with your children: Create a site with a catchy name and a good design look. Make sure the principal is aware of what you’re starting. Write about good things done in your school. Get other students’ permission to mention them in stories, and get quotes to personalize the story. Drum up some publicity for your web page or blog. Promote it with social media in friends’ feeds and through official school Internet channels. Seek out other students’ reactions, and if they like it, ask them to help you with further work. Visit this site by the National Child Traumatic Stress Network for information and links to a wide array of anti-bullying sites. The site also includes tips and tactics for parents and educators when faced with a cyberbullying situation.

October 8, 2013

Cyber-Bullying has reared its ugly head!

In a previous article that we published on bullying amongst our children in South Africa, we touched lightly on cyber-bullying and promised you a separate article on this subject, as it is so vast. We’ve all heard the term and no doubt as parents you have already felt the need to educate yourself as to exactly what cyber-bullying is. For those parents out there who have your days caught up in the hectically crazy world that we live in, MAD Pups has prepared the following information. We have tried to touch on the most important aspects of cyber-bullying to bring to your attention and then give you some useful tips on how to deal with this difficult subject. What exactly are we talking about here? In a nutshell, cyber-bullying is a form of teen violence that can do lasting harm to young people. This form of bullying has been made possible because of the advances in technology and social media which has made it possible for more young people to have access to cell phones and the internet. It takes place on all social media platforms. Bullies use text messaging or digital images, emails, instant messaging, web pages, blogs and chat rooms or discussion groups. In a poll taken as early as August 2006, the Chicago Tribune reported that about one in every three children between the ages of 12 and 17 and one in every six children ages 6 to 11, are victims of cyber-bullying. We all know the story of Megan Meier, a 13 year old girl from Missouri, who committed suicide in 2006 after allegedly receiving cruel comments from a boy on MySpace. The boy who befriended her turned out to be a mother of one of her classmates!! How scary is that? This was seven years ago! Although the poll is outdated, it still gives us a sense of what is going on as our rational minds can only tell us that this has escalated as the number of people who have internet access and access to technology has also escalated. This could very well happen to one of your children and the damage that it could do both psychologically and emotionally could be just as devastating. Just imagine how much an adult posing as a child can outwit and outsmart your child. Therefore knowing that people can hide their identity online is critical to how important you view this subject. It’s also important to remember here that there is huge peer pressure focused on our young children (perhaps a subject for another article) and because of this, children are not always going to disclose that they are victims of cyber-bullying. This makes it even more important for you as a parent, to keep those channels of communication open as much as possible. You need to educate yourself and your children about social networks, how they work and how to manage them. Teach your children about the dangers of social networks and chat-rooms and teach them also not to respond to or forward any threatening or abusive messages. Get them to understand that whilst you are okay with them with being connected – after all they are the ‘connected’ generation – they need to conduct themselves and behave online, in a responsible and mature manner and that it’s okay to ask for your guidance and advice ie you will not judge them or find fault with them in terms of the decisions that they make or want to make in any way. Talk to your children about cyber-bullying and explain to them that it is wrong. Many children do not understand that they are doing harm when they post something or that they can be hurtful in their responses to messages etc. This is also why MAD Pups regularly runs courses for children on assertiveness, entitled Assertiveness for Life, where children are taught to make the distinction. Ensure that they understand the difference between photos and images that are socially acceptable and those that can be offensive. Let them know that should they become the target of cyber-bullying, they must keep the messages and share them with you so that should the situation become out of control, there is material proof to pass on to authorities. Let them know that they should not be sharing or posting any information on-line that they would not want to have public They should never ‘friend’ people that they do not know as well as never share information, images, photos etc with strangers. If anyone is continuously harassing them, sending them messages that are mean, nasty, inappropriate and make them feel uneasy, let your child know that it is better to remove them off their friend list and even better, block them. It is vital that parents: Know which sites your child visits Monitor their on-line activity Help them be smart regarding what they post about themselves and discourage them from sharing anything that could be hurtful or damaging to either their or their friends’ reputation Encourage them to keep their passwords safe and know what their passwords are Encourage them to change their passwords regularly and to keep you updated as to what they have changed them to Block unwanted messages Keep internet access to a shared family space Encourage your child to have times when all technology is switched off such as at family meals Check your child’s phone and social network accounts regularly and remove anything that you think is inappropriate Tell your child that at no time should they post or share any personal contact details online or with anyone that they don’t know – ever! Install parental control filtering software if necessary Establish clear and consistent rules regarding the use of computers, cell phones etc Keep the channels of communication between you and your child open and honest at all times Cyber-bullying is a very real monster. It is happening all around the world and whilst it cannot be stopped, we owe it to

September 28, 2013

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