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How to Replace Screen Time with Foundational Reading Skills

Most parents are very aware that too much screen time for young children isn’t a good thing, but many are just as uncertain about what exactly the problem is and, importantly, how time can be more constructively spent without it becoming an additional daily burden adding to the stress of the adults. “Taking the guesswork out of quality family interaction, which also assists in the development of the child, is half the battle won,” says Barbara Eaton, Academic Development Advisor for the Pre-Primary Schools Division at ADvTECH, Africa’s largest private education provider. Eaton says parents who rely on some screen time to get a bit of a breather shouldn’t feel guilty, but adds that they should ensure they also spend time every day connecting with their children through activities. Activities, which are both fun and will aid the cementing of the skills they will require for reading success in future, can be woven into the daily routine. “We are constantly researching improved methods of teaching foundational reading skills from Grade 000,” says Eaton. “Research into the reading brain indicates that 40% of children learn to read easily, but 40% of children are at risk and 20% at severe risk. Over twenty thousand studies of children failing at reading in the USA indicated that the bottom 40% of readers lack phonemic awareness, which is the ability to hear, identify and manipulate individual phonemes – the smallest unit of sound in the spoken word.” Eaton says the human brain is wired for developing spoken language which is why, with good personal interaction, babies develop speech from an early age without intentional teaching. “But there is no automatic brain wiring for reading and spelling, so all aspects of these skills need to be taught systematically and explicitly. Modern life has increasingly seen young children spend significant amounts of time in front of screens, which focus their brains on visual more than auditory content. “The major problem with screen time is that much of the spoken content of what they watch is too fast and often indistinct, making them less likely to concentrate on it. This has impacted on the development of accurate listening skills.” This all sounds quite negative, but the good news is that brain repair and the re-routing and development of neurons are possible and that with correct teaching, the children who would have learned to read easily will read at a higher level while the ‘at risk’ children will be able to read well. So how can parents help their children? 1 – BY TALKING AND LISTENING “In these days of digital media, we are talking less to each other and much of the communication taking place is instructive: ‘It’s time to bath. Pick up your clothes” etc. Instead, try to focus on generating discussions, for instance talk about the highs and lows of your day; introduce topics such as, ‘if you could do anything you wanted, what would it be and why’, ‘tell us about the best thing you saw today’.” Eaton says it is important to ask open-ended questions (which don’t have a yes or no response), to elicit full answers. Dads are especially good at this! 2 – BY READING TO THEIR CHILD Read both fiction and factual books from a very young age and join the library to give a wider choice. Choose quality stories that link to your child’s interests, not just Disney ones, Eaton advises. “Let your child see you reading books and magazines. When you read a menu, shopping list, or road sign, involve your child and discuss how wonderful it is to be able to read and understand the information around you.” 3 – BY SINGING AND RECITING Sing songs, recite rhymes together and read poems. “Rhyming is such an important pre-reading skill, but fewer and fewer children learn any rhymes at home. Nursery rhymes are basically historical nonsense but children love them and they are easy to memorise,” Eaton says. 4 – PLAY WITH WORDS Play with compound words – breaking popcorn into pop and corn, fishtank into fish and tank etc. They make good car games, and make a walk to the shops shorter and more fun. I Spy is another fun favourite but use the sound at the beginning of the word, not the name of the letter. Cat starts with ‘c’ not CEE. Eaton says activities as listed above should be fun for adults and child, and should not become another chore for parents, but rather an easy, entertaining way to connect as they go through their usual routine in the morning and the evening. Additionally, to build solid listening skills, parents should not repeat instructions and comments, as this programmes a child not to listen the first time. “Parents should make eye contact (lower the phone!), and pay attention to what their child is saying so that they model the desired listening behaviour. Above all, be excited about your child’s developing language and literacy skills. “Investing quality time in your children can be achieved by including them in daily routines. Complementing this time with activities such as the above can make a tremendous impact on setting a child on the path to their own personal academic excellence,” she says.

October 10, 2017

Parenting in the social media era – how to manage your online accounts to ensure your children’s safety

Riaan Badenhorst, General Manager, Kaspersky Lab Africa Social platforms give many families the freedom to communicate with their loved ones, whenever and wherever they want – it is convenient and no doubt saves lots of time. Further to this, social media sites also give parents the opportunity to share their memories and moments with family and close friends – and often this includes posting pictures of children, as they grow and achieve great milestones in life. However, does this freedom and convenience come at a cost? While internet and social media safety are often topical discussion points for many parents today, the reality is that keeping kids safe is not just about making sure their social activity is monitored closely and protected. Parents also need to understand that what they post online about their children can also put their children at risk. As such, parents must also take security measures, on their own social media accounts – especially those who use sites to share pictures and precious family memories. But, do parents know where to start? In 2016*, a Kaspersky Lab security expert uncovered a malware attack that tricked approximately 10 000 Facebook users around the world. Essentially their devices were infected with a virus after receiving a message from a ‘friend’ claiming to have mentioned them on Facebook. The compromised devices were then used to hijack Facebook accounts, and spread the infection through the victim’s own Facebook friends and to enable other malicious activity. Now, imagine if this ‘other malicious activity’ was stealing pictures of kids and selling them for a profit? How would this make parents feel? The reality is that this kind of cybercriminal activity can happen. However, to safeguard any online social media accounts, parents can follow the following key tips: Refrain from making social media profiles public – if parents have their social media accounts set on public view, anyone can access these profile pages and view (and take) the content and images from these pages. A public view invites everyone with an Internet connection to look through pictures on the page. Having an account set on a public view is very reckless. Rather, profiles should always be set on a privacy view – that only offers access to people the profile user is connected to (i.e.: friends). Privacy can also be changed on a post by post level, and as such, parents should make use of these added settings and take extra care when it comes to posts about their kids. Avoid sharing pictures of other people’s kids’ – this is often a ‘pet peeve’ for many people – especially those who are very particular (and rightly so) about having pictures of their kids posted online. As a parent, be aware that not all parents are fans of posting images to social media, and so avoid posting pictures of your kids, with other kids on the image – such as group school photos or party photos. Don’t create a social media profile for children – given the convenience social media offers, there are instances when parents create a whole new profile, just for their child, for the purpose of sharing pictures and updates about their child’s life journey. While this can be a nice thing to do to keep family and friends updated, it can also be very risky – as remember this profile is online and therefore can be at risk of cybercriminal activity. Bath time should be private – while kids do tend to do the cutest things while in the bathtub, this time is something that should be kept private, to protect children. Invest in a good Internet Security solution for your devices – over and above following these practical steps, parents should also ensure that the devices they use to view social media, and upload images to social media sites, are well protected with a good internet security solution. While the internet and social media platforms provide many benefits today, social media safety, for families and children, rely on parents being aware of the security risks that are present. In understanding these risks, parents are then able to take the necessary steps to ensure the protection of their children at all times, while still using social media platforms, safely, in their personal capacity. *http://newsroom.kaspersky.eu/en/texts/detail/article/kaspersky-lab-exposes-facebook-phishing-attacks-10000-victims-in-two-days/?no_cache=1&cHash=66aee758115addf47bcae243d89896ec

September 15, 2017

Sensopathic Play – More Valuable Than Parents Realise

In a fast-moving digital world, where children are glued to the couch with a handheld device in-hand, give them an opportunity to experience the world through touch – a fun and engaging way to play and learn with endless developmental benefits. Parenting expert Nikki Bush says sensopathic play uses the sense of touch, the biggest sensory system in the body to help children better understand the world around them. “Sensopathic play is a very real, concrete and experiential way to learn through personal experience. And as Albert Einstein said: ‘Learning is experience. Everything else is just information’,” Bush says. Yet, in the modern world fewer children engage in sensopathic play, and instead spend more time in front of a laptop computer or playing video games. Bush says the digital world has evolved so much that these days real toys and games have even been replaced with similar screen-based games. “Screens don’t provide three-dimensional learning. And these days a 4-year old can play a shape matching game on a tablet, but can’t do it in the real world. Similarly, a 5-year old can build a 64-piece puzzle on a computer game, but struggles to build a puzzle in class,” she says. Parents are advised to encourage this type of play, and Bush says the options are endless. Drawing on a child’s back with bubble bath during bath time; allowing him/her to draw pictures on the patio door and window with shaving cream, and crafting little figures out of play dough are just a few examples that guarantee fun, interactive multisensory experiences. And there are many developmental benefits attached to each, including fine motor coordination and teaching a child how to feel emotionally safe and secure. “Balance children’s time on screens with even more time doing real activities in real time with real objects and real people and you’ll be surprised at the results,” she says. There are dozens of toys on the market that encourage sensopathic play and the Child Development Team at Toy Kingdom has carefully selected and curated a range of toys that encourage this form of play, including finger paints and play dough, as well as dolls and plush toys. “Every child needs an opportunity to experience the world in a very real sense and through the sense of touch. By ignoring sensopathic play, your child will not learn as effectively as when they are fully, physically engaged in their own learning creating meaningful experiences,” Bush says.

September 8, 2017

Technology and Tots

Embracing technology is essential in this day and age, and I am certainly pro having kids learn to use technology in education. The question is “at what age should encourage our little ones to engage with screens?” Because babies engage very readily with screens, it can be tempting to rely on screen time as a convenient baby sitter, while you grab 5 minutes to yourself. However, the American Association of Paediatrics advises NO screen time in infants less than two years of age. Let’s look at the reasons for this advice and what we can do: Screen time is void of emotional engagement. TV’s and iPads are not a relationship. While your little one plays a game on your iPad or watches a program on TV, he is missing out on essential loving interactions at a time when his brain is wiring at a rate of a million connections a second. Choose that wiring opportunity carefully. Learning happens best in the context of love and time. Research has shown that babies learn best in the context of love and fun and laughter. This emotional connection is negated whist engaging with technology. Babies who watch videos in the first year, have fewer words at 18 months. Proceed with caution – your baby needs relationships to learn. The blue light emitted by screens has been shown to hamper sleep. Melatonin is our sleep hormone, controlling sleep/wake cycles. The blue light of a screen suppresses melatonin secretion, resulting in wakefulness. So for both you and your child (of any age), no screens for an hour before sleep times. What can you do: Model responsible screen behaviour – if you are on your device constantly, you are depriving your baby of engagement. In addition, your baby will think it’s the norm and expect that same standard for himself. No TV under 1 year of age. Between 2 and 5 years old let your baby watch content that makes sense to you – if there is no language and it makes no sense to you it’s worse. Watch and engage with screens WITH your toddler – talk through the show, explain the emotions – that way your baby learns through the experience. As a mom of three, I know that when life gets hectic and you actually just need 5 minutes to yourself it’s tempting to rely on an electronic babysitter. So my message is proceed with caution and insight and be a responsible parent in the technology age.

August 29, 2017

Prima Toys harnesses unboxing video trend

Leading toy importer and distributor Prima Toys recently launched their very own unboxing videos. The series is called ‘The Very Serious Toy Show’ and features professionally created video content that is adding an extra touch point within the brand’s over-arching marketing strategy. So far the series of videos hosted on YouTube is proving to be extremely successful. Prima Toys is the first toy company in South Africa to create its very own unboxing videos – not only to keep abreast with worldwide marketing trends, but to also keep consumers in the know about toy trends. Unboxing videos have become a huge phenomenon internationally, with a number of unboxing presenters reaching celebrity status, with hundreds of thousands and even millions of fans the world over. Marketing Executive of Prima Toys: Chiquita Patrizi, says: “Unboxing videos provide us with the opportunity to quite literally unpack products and show the viewer what is inside. This way, both parents and their children know exactly what is in the box and what they will be getting. This allows them to make an informed decision before purchasing a product- it also provides great entertainment for the children watching.” Toy unboxing videos have continued to see worldwide growth in popularity in the last few years. More recently, Insights by Google reported that in March 2016, almost 50% of online users looked for videos related to a product before they committed to buying it and preferred to follow advice from YouTube video creators as opposed to their favourite (traditional) celebrities. ‘The Very Serious Toy Show’ is presented by “Sash” from Prima Toys. She has an in depth knowledge of the brands and products and how they work, and this ensures that the information imparted is correct and comes across authentically. “Sash is an excellent presenter, she has the know-how, product knowledge and quirky personality required to make the videos a success,” says Patrizi. Prima Toys is successfully capitalizing on the benefits of the toy unboxing video phenomenon and is creating video content that appeals to parents, children and the toy industry at large. Subscribe to Prima Toys YouTube Channel and watch more unboxing videos on ‘The Very (Fun) Serious Toy Show’ with Sash. Alternatively go to www.primatoys.co.za or www.Facebook.com/PrimaToys

August 10, 2017

Earning Screentime

I’ve never been a fan of kids spending hours and hours in front of screens. When I grew up we didn’t have computers, and we were limited to one TV program a week. I resented this at the time, but looking back on my childhood I have memories of riding my bike round the neighbourhood, playing makeshift games of softball in the back yard, climbing trees, making mud pies, dressing up, designing doll’s clothes, and doing a multitude of other creative activities. Our days were full and spent almost entirely outdoors, and most of all fun. Of the TV programs that I did watch I have a few scant memories that don’t amount to much. We don’t have a TV at home now, although we do download movies and select TV shows for ourselves and the kids. When they were very little our children had some time with us on our computers playing learning games, and we didn’t own an iPad until they were quite a bit older. However, over the years it has become easier and easier to slip into bad habits and lose track of how much time they are actually spending in front of a screen. One hour became two, and on the weekend sometimes became four. It is convenient for us as adults to know that the kids are busy and entertained while we catch up on some work, tend to the garden, make the dinner and do the hundred other things on our to do lists. It is easier to hand them an iPad than to encourage them to come up with something else to do. What I noticed, though, was that after a couple of hours on an iPad or playing Mine Craft on their computers, my little darlings turned into little monsters. When they emerged from behind whatever electronic device they had disappeared behind, it was like that were coming down from drugs. They would fight each other, fight us, become rude and uncooperative, and sometimes even throw proper tantrums. It was not ok. Something had to be done. I genuinely considered removing all technology from our home and just dealing with the onslaught of anger and resentment that would surely follow. The thing is, I’m actually not against technology in general and I’m even quite impressed by games like Mine Craft and the kind of skills that kids are learning while they play. And then, of course, there’s the thing of this being our children’s future. Whether we like it or not, they are part of the digital age and they are going to need to navigate these worlds in order to progress. So what I decided was to simultaneously encourage them to engage in other activities and limit their screen time in a way where they could still be in control of how they were spending their time outside of technology. I created a points system. 100 points = 1 hour of screen time. I specifically made it easy enough that with a little effort, they can earn 100 points in a day. I was also careful to include many things on the list that they actually enjoy doing and that will help them to advance their own values and interests (they can get points for drawing, playing the piano, reading a book, doing a creative project or science experiment). I did, of course, add a few things that I would like too (making their beds, helping with cooking and gardening, tidying their rooms)! They don’t have to do everything on the list. In fact, there’s nothing that they have to do. Every item is optional. If they choose to earn all their 100 points by drawing pictures, that is fine. If they’d rather do a variety of things, that’s also ok. My intention is to keep it fun and light so that they can see that they can enjoy life outside of a computer: Real life also has something to offer. The result was remarkable. I explained to them why I was implementing the new system and they could see themselves that they were irritable and grumpy after a day online, so they were open to the idea from the start. Within a day they were up to all sorts of things around the house, they had rekindled their relationship with each other (which had become somewhat rocky), they were cheerful and engaged in life and such a pleasure to be around. We also started connecting more as a family – playing board games, going for walks, planning family outings, chatting around the dinner table. Both children became avid readers overnight. It has been about 3 weeks now and our entire household is transformed. And, they’re still getting to play on their computers at least every second day, or even every day if they feel motivated to do so. But it isn’t the be all and end all of everything. The Lego has come out of its dusty spot in the corner, our home is filled with artworks again, there is quite literally music and singing filling the air. Screen time is earned and enjoyed, but it’s no longer the focus of their every moment. Memories are being made. Connections are being nurtured. We are all happier and more fulfilled. Life is good – both online and off!

July 6, 2017

The Importance of Spelling and Handwriting in a Digital Age

It’s a fair question for parents to consider: why should my child learn to master the skills of spelling and handwriting in a world governed by spellcheckers and keyboards? Isn’t the mere notion of teaching these skills as archaic as attempting to master trigonometry without the use of a scientific calculator? Edublox reading, maths and learning clinic investigates the importance of handwriting and spelling in the learning process and shares some tips on how to identify problems that children may be experiencing. “Over the last 30 years, we have witnessed many technological changes in the educational landscape. Certain skills, like spelling correctly and being able to write legibly by hand, however, still remain universally relevant,” says Susan du Plessis, Director of Educational Programmes at Edublox. “Although various spell checkers and autocorrect functions may serve as proofing tools in order to communicate clearer messages, it should not deter children from learning the skills in the first place,” she adds. Du Plessis’s view is one that many educators agree on. In an article published in The Guardian, Edouard Gentaz, Professor of Developmental Psychology at the University of Geneva, articulates how pens and keyboards bring into play vastly different cognitive processes. “Handwriting is a complex task which requires various skills – feeling the pen and paper, moving the writing implement, and directing movement by thought. Children take several years to master this precise motor exercise: you need to hold the scripting tool firmly while moving it in such a way as to leave a different mark for each letter*.” If children do not master these skills, their spelling is likely to suffer as a result. According to the authors of the book Introduction to Learning Disabilities**, handwriting errors can cause a word to look like another word, where slow, laboured writing of letters may cause a student to forget the word he or she is trying to write. Du Plessis continues: “The skill of spelling embraces many subskills – the ability to perceive the whole in its individual parts, auditory perception of letter sounds and auditory memory, and decoding skills. Together, spelling and handwriting are important foundational skills in the learning process.” According to Du Plessis, the problem with teaching spelling in a digital age is that good language and strong spelling skills have become optional in the way that we communicate on social media and through the various devices available to us. Search engines are also incredibly forgiving and simply suggests the correct spelling of search terms without even prompting the user to consider where they went wrong. “Traditionally, spelling does not allow any room for ‘creative’ answers or ‘style’; a word is either spelled correctly or it is misspelled. It’s important that parents encourage their children to learn to spell correctly and to use spelling applications and emoticons as secondary tools in the communication process,” she explains. If parents notice that their children are struggling to spell despite an effort to do so without the help of digital tools, there might be underlying shortcomings that a reputable learning clinic can help to resolve. If the problems are caused by poor handwriting, which includes illegible or exceptionally slow writing, a child might be struggling with dysgraphia (a Greek term that encapsulates symptoms like trouble with pencil grip, mixing up cursive and print, and inconsistent spacing between words). “Ironically, there are many online programs that are wonderful tools in a reputable learning clinics’ toolkit when it comes to reading and consequently spelling,” adds du Plessis. “Parents must look out for programs that aim to resolve learning and spelling problems and not simply enable the child to manage them better. Search for something that is visually engaging and fun to work with and one that tracks progress so that parents are aware of the child’s improvement.” “Proper spelling and neat handwriting have definitely not become outdated skills. Especially with the rise of the digital age, parents should pursue solutions if their children are struggling and to value these ‘manual’ skills; without it, we may see language take a back seat in years to come,” concludes du Plessis. *Chemin, A. (2014). Handwriting vs typing: is the pen still mightier than the keyboard? [Online] Available from: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2014/dec/16/cognitive-benefits-handwriting-decline-typing [Accessed: 2017-04-04]. ** Hallahan, D. P., Kauffman, J., & Lloyd, J., Introduction to Learning Disabilities (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall)

June 9, 2017

Encouraging Literacy

Finally, your child can read. For parent, teacher and child, the process of learning to read, of understanding sounds and knowing the alphabet is a pivotal and exciting one. The process is pivotal as it is the foundation for a lifetime of reading, writing and understanding. The ability to read and write provides the foundation for communication and interpreting the world around is. The process is also an exciting one, simply because it is such a critical milestone in a child’s development. The process is one to be enjoyed, it should be fun and it should be a journey of discovery. Here are some ways that you can foster your child’s abilities when it comes to reading and writing: 1.Talk to your child. This may seem quite rudimentary, but in this day and age where we have an almost constant information overload, it is important to switch off cellphones and screens and talk. Have a conversation with your child. Ask her questions and prompt her to ask you things too. 2. Give your child writing tasks. Give him a pen and a piece of paper and ask him to write down what happened during the best or the worst part of his day. Just a few sentences will do. The exercise is aimed at helping your child organise his thoughts and express them in a way that makes sense to others. 3.Put aside time to read with your child. Even if this is a few minutes each day, but try to read with your child, either at bedtime or during bath time when you have their attention. 4. Make sure that the books you buy for your child are age appropriate and that your child can read the book with ease. If your child stumbles on too many words, then chances are the book is too difficult for her and this will cause her to be frustrated. Rather let her read something that is easy for her to read so that she enjoys the story. She has her whole life to read difficult books. 5. Ensure that he has access to a large variety of books. Take her to the library every two weeks and let her choose her own books. She will love you for it! LeapFrog has a wide range of literacy products that can help your child learn the basics of sounds, language, and the alphabet. For more information go to www.PrimaToys.co.za

May 31, 2017

Embracing The Digital Gap

It is human nature to find fascination with things that are off limits. The DO NOT ENTER sign ignites our imaginations as to what might lie within, the secret cupboard where the gifts are kept is always the target of sneaky investigations, the age restricted movie is the one we dress up to get into. And so it is with technology and kids. If you say ‘no’ or block things it leads to an internal conflict and most likely some form of rebellion. They want to find out what it is that you’re hiding and then will do it behind your back. The generational gap has become the digital gap and it is growing. We are the infants in this world – we don’t know how to navigate it, we don’t know what the rules are, and we’re totally out of our depth in controlling it. We need to embrace technology. Our children’s world is a digital one, and if we’re not closing the gap we’re going to get lost on the other side of a chasm that we won’t even know how to bridge later on. Like all things – relationship and communication are key. Get involved online WITH your children. Use technology to enhance your relationship with them not to break it down. You need to educate yourself on the programs, places, and sites that they are into. Get onto them. Make yourself at home. Share it with them. Let technology be a family thing. Use it together. Look things up. Share videos. Play games together. If you need to replace the board game with an online family game, so be it. Let them see technology as a way to connect with you not a place where you don’t belong. You need to overcome your own fear of technology and the online world. Find a way to link it to what is important to you. Then link what’s important to you to what’s important to your kids. Make the connections. Communication is all about bridging two worlds – the world in my mind and the world in yours. Find ways for you and your children to connect through the technology and not in spite of it. If you need to block something be clear about why. Communicate. Let your children be involved in the rule making around technology. Let them understand your concerns and the risks involved. Children are far more likely to follow any rules if they understand why they’re in place and have agreed on the consequences. Technology is not going away. It is very much a part of your children’s lives. Find the good in it and enhance that. Use it as a tool to bring you closer together not further apart. Embrace the digital gap by becoming humble to learning from your kids instead of always being the teacher. It’s their world, and if you want to be a part of their world you need to be wise enough to admit that they are the masters of that world and you are merely a visitor. Be a welcomed visitor rather than a hostile invader. Embrace the digital gap and enjoy the ride that your kids will take you on.

May 10, 2017

What to Get the Tech-Savvy Mom

Incredible Connection Mother’s Day is fast approaching and we all want to make sure that our mom’s feel appreciated and loved. And given mom’s busy schedule, it is also important to make sure that everything she does, on the day, is effortless, efficient, fun and memorable – so what do you get the tech-savvy mom? Well, look no further as we have the perfect tech list to help you make it an incredible Mother’s Day: If your mom likes to not only stay healthy, but be on top of her daily tasks, work, family and social life – what about getting her a fitness tracking wearable, which will help her fitness journey by tracking her steps, distance, calories burned, floors climbed, active minutes and even sleep patterns. Every mom wants to savour the time spent with their families and ensure those precious moments are captured – and a camera is the perfect gift to not only keeping those memories safe, but giving mom the ability to relive the moments anytime she wants. Make sure you get a camera that best suits your mom, if she likes scrapbooking look at getting her a Polaroid camera that will allow her to instantly print the pictures or if she is always on the move get her a user friendly digital camera that is compact and easy to use for those everyday Instagram moments. To keep mom at ease while at work or travelling, get her a home networking security kit that can allow her to keep her eyes on the home front through her smartphone. The security kit makes for easy usage as it connects wirelessly and has a good signal range where mom can program a number that can be automatically called should the security kit pick up any movement in the house while the family is away. Mom is always trying to make sure that the family is well fed with healthy and nutritious recipes. So why not make life easier for her by buying her a tablet for use in the kitchen where she can easily download all her favourite recipes on, get subscriptions to her favourite magazines and stay in touch with the world – anywhere, anytime. Make sure you pamper her this Mother’s Day – and let her know that all the love she gives to her family is appreciated – and what better way than through a thoughtful gift – suited just for her.

May 9, 2017

Can We Keep It In A Jar?

A parent recently sent me this question via email: “Our preschool daughters caught a lizard in the backyard and my husband told them they could keep it in a jar. I told them it was nature and they had to let it go. They both threw a tantrum and a meltdown ensued. Should I have gone along with my husband?” Aside from the fact that the parents were not working together as a mutually supportive team, they were also too focused on the lizard as an object. Instead, they could have used the capture of this lizard as an opportunity to teach the girls a little bit about respecting nature, our partnership with the world around us and an appreciation for different life forms. To this mom I would say “You were both right.” There is so much to show and teach your children about this remarkable world we live in. Match the wonders of nature with the powerful sense of wonder in your children’s mind and you might just get them away from the computer, the television and the DVDs long enough to learn more. You might even have some memorable together-time moments that will build your relationship with them. I suggest she allow them to keep it very briefly and then let it go. While holding it in a glass jar to be examined, take some digital pictures of it and allow the children to decide which ones are their favorites. Take the kids to the local library and research just exactly what a lizard is, what it eats and the most favorable conditions for its habitat. Allow the children to decide where they’ll let the little creature go and allow them to participate in the release as much as possible. This situation is also a great opportunity for an outing to your local state park to walk and examine more nature first hand. Before you leave, see if the park has a Web site with a schedule of planned activities. During the warmer months many parks have activities designed to encourage our children to connect with nature. You’ll find nature walks, demonstrations, re-enactments, guided tours and arts and craft events, just to name a few. Once the little creature is released, it doesn’t mean he’s gone and the experience is over. Instead, the creativity can now begin. Go back to those digital photos you saved and pull them into an art or photo computer program to modify. You can blow them up, print them out, or modify them with special effects to create some wonderful art projects. There are special programs for children that will allow for importing photos so the kids can color them or decorate them. If you don’t have software that will allow you to do that, pull the pictures up on the screen and allow your children to draw and color their own free-hand versions of the creature to share with family. At this point the little lizard is physically gone but the experience can continue as your children explore their own imagination and creativity as the result of an actual experience. Capturing a little piece of live nature temporarily to see and enjoy can be so enriching when someone is there to coach them properly. It’s also a great opportunity to shut off all the electronic noise around them for a while and allow them to open their eyes to the true beauty around them.

May 3, 2017

The Dangers of the Internet for your Child

“Had I only known what she was up to, I might have prevented this “. These were the words of a father who lost his 17 year old daughter to a highly debated “internet suicide cult” in Bridgend, Wales. She hanged herself upstairs in her room while her father was watching TV downstairs. This is the grim reality of the world where our children are growing up today. With instant access to the internet their worlds have expanded to literally the ends of the earth, ironically confined to a small device such as a cell phone or a computer. With the end of 2012 being at hand, most children are expected to withdraw to their bedrooms or study areas in preparation of the final exams. For some parents it is a relief that their children are now spending more time at home, focusing on the exams, but where this has traditionally been viewed as “good behaviour”, the internet poses new potential dangers to our children. While studying, it is common practise to “take a break”, normally by getting in touch with the outside world via the electronic communication systems available. And right here your child has an opportunity to be derailed from their studies by being exposed to all sorts of obscurities within the cyber world. This can include exposure to pornography, undesirable sites or cyber bullying – where your child, is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, or otherwise targeted by another child. Also by visiting certain chatrooms, social sites or live webcam groups, your child could expose themselves as a possible target for online Sexual Predators who see the process of finding and tracking down a child as a game and a hunt. They use methods such as Online Grooming (when Predators develop relationships by offering whatever a child seems to need, emotionally or literally luring them with gifts) or Online Mirroring (when predators are skilled in playing back emotionally what they see in the child) to try and gain access to the child. There is also Online Phishing ( when a scammer tries to trick you into giving or revealing your personal information”), etc It can be disheartening when we are confronted by all the potential dangers that our children are exposed to, but there is hope. Parents can play an integral part in protecting their children by being involved and focusing on the following: Educate yourself regarding the dangers of the internet. (visit www.netparent.co.za ) Investigate new protection software on the internet. Do not underestimate your child’s technical abilities. Ask your teen to help you adjust your PC privacy settings. This will give you a good sense of how ‘savvy’ they are. Engage in dialogue with your child regarding online activities that are important to them. This might not be your field of interest, but this attitude will hopefully lead to an open communication channel. Educate your kids concerning online shopping and regularly monitor billing statements. Computers should be confined to common areas. Don’t befriend their friends – although befriending their parents is quite acceptable. Reassure your child that they can always share their concerns with you, especially cyber bullying! For your Child: They should never give out personal information. They should never post a picture of themselves that could ever lead to embarrassment. Never post slanderous statements or incriminating comments. They should not download pictures, click on e-mail attachments or visit unsolicited web links from an unknown source. They should never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent, or harassing. They must be skeptical as to the truth of what’s said online. Avoid face-to-face meetings with individuals they’ve met online without supervision from a chaperone. They should only accept a friend or follow requests from individuals they have met in person. Parents can also protect their children by installing software on their computers, such as NetParent, that will notify them should the child come into contact with predetermined unwanted content. You will receive an immediate E-Mail or SMS warning the moment preselected content is triggered by Netparent, when your child is busy exploring the internet or typing trigger words on the home PC. Now you can also remotely block and unblock the pc screen via sms. As the saying goes: prevention is better than cure. Be an involved parent during this coming exam season and by doing so ensure a safer and better future for your child. Article supplied by www.netparent.co.za South Africa

April 7, 2017

Setting a bad example: children unimpressed by parents’ online behaviour

Social media gives us the freedom to communicate with our loved ones, whenever and wherever we want. However, this freedom comes at a cost: blinded by our seemingly happy digital lives we often don’t realise how social media threatens and damages our real-life relationships. New global research from Kaspersky Lab shows that a third of people communicate less face-to-face with their loved ones, and 21% of parents admit that relationships with their children have been damaged as a result of them being seen in a compromising situation on social media. With people’s tendency to post photos of themselves or others under the influence of alcohol, wearing something revealing or even naked in order to get more “likes”, it is evident that social media can damage offline relationships. But while we would expect parents not to approve of their children’s online behaviour, it is often the other way round. More than a fifth of parents admit that their relationship with their children worsened after they had seen their parents in compromising circumstances on social media. In contrast, only 14% of parents said they were annoyed by their children’s online behaviour. In addition, around one-in-five (16%) people also said that their relationship with their spouse or partner has been damaged as a result of them being seen in a compromising situation on social media. Relationships with family, friends and colleagues are changing as people communicate less face-to-face as a result of social media. A significant third of people admitted that they now communicate less with their parents (31%), children (33%), partners (23%), and friends (35%) because they can see and communicate with them via social media. Dr. Astrid Carolus, Media Psychologist at the University of Würzburg comments: “Studies show that today digital communication complements real-life communication. We live in a globalised and highly mobile world resulting in distances between partners and family members. Digital communication is an opportunity to bridge the gaps in our modern lives caused by living in different cities or countries. However, digital communication cannot replace face-to-face communication – at least not always and not completely. Digital communication is less rich in terms of sensory channels affected, resulting in “reduced” sensory quality.” Although people communicate less face-to-face, around half of respondents believe that the quality of their relationships does not suffer at all and is even better as a result of being connected with their loved ones online. Dr. Astrid Carolus warns that although it seems that the quality of our relationships is improving, people cannot always evaluate their online communication objectively: “Under certain circumstances they perceive their online communication as “hyper-personal communication” and thus they can misread and over-interpret the messages on social media. We feel especially close, we blind out the rather negative, focus on the possible positive intentions behind a message, and over-interpret.” With the study finding that although social media can help ease communication channels and bridge time zones and distance barriers, it doesn’t always make people happy. It can strain relationships as well as leaving people feeling down and upset, as they constantly compare their lives to those of others. The hunt for “likes” and social validation leads people to share increasing amounts of private information on social media platforms, putting not only themselves but also their friends, family and colleagues at risk. For those who decide to shut themselves off from social media, the reality of losing a lifetime of digital memories, including photos and interactions, can make it difficult to do. In order to protect themselves and their relationships, people need to be more cautious and cyber-savvy about the information they share on social media. That will not only help to mitigate the risks of the online world, but prevent relationship damage in the offline world. To help people keep their memories safe, no matter how long their online social media journey, Kaspersky Lab is developing a new app. FFForget will enable people to back-up all of their memories from their social networks, keeping them in a safe, encrypted memory container.

April 7, 2017

Back to School: why team sports is the first thing your child should sign up for!

Going back to school after the long December school holidays is usually a very exciting time for children. For many, it will be the first time they’re seeing their friends in a long time and it’s a time to rekindle old friendships and make new ones. It’s also the start of a new academic school year that comes with new responsibilities and also the chance to try out for a team sport. Commander HQ, the online sports gear and clothing membership club, caught up with Managing Director and Founder of the Cricket School of Excellence, Ryan Maron, to find out just why team sports are so beneficial for your kids. Kids learn how to work together with other kids from different backgrounds to achieve a common goal and to win with pride and modesty or lose with dignity. The social element is massive and it offers kids the opportunity to make friends. Its gives kids the feeling of self-worth and involvement. Kids relate being active to having fun, which is great for keeping them fit and healthy. If something isn’t fun, there is a bigger chance they won’t want to keep it up. Participating in team sports teaches kids how to overcome the disappointment of failure as a group. Team members learn the importance of supporting fellow team members when they’re having an off-day and they also know they never have to face any challenges alone. A loss for one is a loss for all. Team uniformity plays a vital role in unifying a team and also providing a sense of belonging and involvement. A sense of pride should also be instilled in a uniform. While sporting apparel and gear is very expensive nowadays it means it’s not accessible for many players, especially families who have less disposable income. But some form of uniform even if it’s all white shirts and black shorts, is highly recommended. With kids back at school and teams being chosen for this year’s season, it’s the best time to sign your child up for cricket or netball. Commander HQ provides sports clothing and gear at member-only discounted prices making it accessible to all. To find out more about the Cricket School of Excellence please go to www.cricketschool.co.za or to search for your child’s sports goods online go to www.commanderstore.com. About the Author: Carey Mol, is a mother of 3, wife and owner of CommanderHQ, an online sporting gear and apparel store and balances her time between work and her children. For many years she worked full time in the mobile and digital industry, as MD for Cellular Media Distribution (CMD). After becoming a mother, she realised she wanted to spend as much time with her kids as she did fostering her career. She now hopes to inspire young and old, to take part in sport and live an active and healthy lifestyle.

March 23, 2017

Is my tween ready and responsible enough for a cell phone?

Deciding if your tween is ready and responsible enough to own a cell phone is something that at some point all parents have to decide. When my girls, who are 11, wrote me a letter explaining the benefits of them owning one as well as why they felt they were responsible enough to own one : I too was faced with those questions. As a child I always hated that my elder brother could do things that I was not able too, and was always told, as I am sure that others were, that it was for my own safety. I recall having some reservations about my eldest son getting a cell phone but not nearly as much as when I had to decide if the girls were ready. This is something that we all are faced with and this is a big milestone that children reach in our modern day society. It is not something that is going to go away any time soon, so the acceptance on my and your part is imminent. Undoubtably there are some benefits. I consider myself to be a reasonable person and that this decision was not something that I could put off for the rest of their lives. I could however make sure that they knew the risks of cell phones, in terms of the bullying that occurs so often using these devices as well as make sure that there were some clear ground rules in place. Cell phones are a great way to stay in touch anytime, anywhere. You cannot beat the convenience of knowing that you are able to contact your child anytime. There is also the safety aspect of knowing where your children are and that if there is an emergency, a cell phone can be crucial if your child needs to reach you or vice versa. That is partly why many parents are buying their children cell phones these days. For your tween, having a cell phone offers the same kind of security it does for you – knowing that you are just a call or text away. We decided that we would lay down ground rules that not only we as parents agreed upon but the girls as well. Ensuring that we were all on the same page was a vital part to ensuring that the trust in our relationships was not only maintained but built on as well. Through all of our rules we clearly explained why we had set them out and gave the girls the opportunity to question all of them. Our rules included the following: No taking cell phones to school. Most schools, including theirs do not allow cell phones at school. They do however have a phone card should they need to contact me as well as we felt that the school would do as they have always done, which is contact us if there was a problem. During the week, there was no telephone calls and no messages to take place. The girls are however allowed to message their family and only contact their friends if there is a concern regarding homework that they could resolve through this means. They were not allowed to join any social networks as yet. They had already expressed their own reservations regarding the risks involved in having a facebook account that we did not need to cover to much in this regard. They were allowed to play their games after their homework and chores were completed. Over the weekends that were able to use their cell phone as they saw fit, however if they broke any of our rules that there would be no cell phone on the upcoming weekend. We would ensure that there was adequate airtime available, however that this was to last for the entire month. If they ran out of airtime, they would have to work in order to have their line unlocked. This airtime would also replace their existing allowance that they were being given. There was to be no sending of any pictures of themselves to their friends. They are allowed to send to their family but not to their friends. Again after explaining that children today resort to bullying through their cells phones that these pictures could be sent through to people that they don’t necessarily want others to have. When we were together as a family, for example eating dinner, there was to be no cell phones and that we would still interact as a family. There would be no bullying of any kind via their cell phones with their friends. They would notify us if any suspicious messages were received and if someone that they did not know made contact with them. There telephone number was top secret and could only be given to their immediate friends, if any parents or adult requested their telephone number. While researching for this article, I found something which sense. Drawing up a contract between parents and children is also a great way to ensure that everyone is on the same page. This is available to download and print by following the link below. Cell Phone Contract

March 22, 2017

Working Moms: Stop feeling guilty

In a study conducted by Harvard Business School graduates in the US, it was found that women whose moms worked outside the home are more likely to have jobs themselves, are more likely to hold supervisory responsibility at those jobs, and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time. So where do you find the time between being a mom and having a career, never mind running your own business? 44 year old, Carey Mol is a mom, wife and director of Commander HQ, a sports gear and clothing ecommerce store. When she’s not driving to or from school, cooking, shopping or attending school sports she’s working. “It’s what makes me feel alive,” admits Carey. “If I didn’t work, I think I would go mad.” There are so many reasons why mothers work. For most of us it isn’t a choice, we need to contribute to paying the bills; not many families can survive on one person’s salary. For some having one parent stay home to take care of the kids is the only option and so for those who can choose between working and staying home is considered a luxury. Whatever your situation, it’s important not to judge. So for the moms who work and look after the kids, what is the ideal balance? How can you have it all and not feel guilty? Carey shares some of the lessons she’s learnt about juggling the two. Identify your priorities. I usually choose me, my family and then work. If I’m not happy then how can I make my family happy and without a happy family, work will seem like a very sad and lonely place. Stop chasing money. If you realise you’ll never have enough then what you have will always be good enough. Even all the money in the world won’t buy back lost time. Decide on what is enough to cover your financial obligations including savings, so you can still have time and energy in your day to focus on you and your family and stop there. As time goes on you can adjust your financial goals according to your family’s needs. Exercise every day. My daily routine consists of getting the kids ready, taking them to school, power walking 10km to the beach and back, or swimming up to 100 lengths in the gym pool then working as much as possible before driving back to school to fetch the kids, making dinner and possibly working some more. Exercise keeps me feeling energised and motivated to wake up and do it all over again. It takes a village to raise a child. Don’t be shy to ask for help. Once you’re a mom, you are automatically given access to a wonderful community of women who just get it. Sometimes working moms need to go to a meeting or send out a report and can’t be in two places at once. It’s very rare for another mom to say no to you if you need help fetching or taking. Find a way to beat the guilt. With all the finger pointing going on, it’s hard not to feel guilty about missing class parties during the week or a rugby match on a Friday afternoon. Take it easy on yourself, you can’t get to them all. As much as you try to put yourself first, family second and work last, sometimes the order shifts around, after all bills must be paid. Make up for it on the weekends by doing what your kids love or if the problem persists seek the help of a therapist to discuss your feelings. Decide on a daily mantra. Mine is to think positively. I like the saying “What would you try if you couldn’t fail.” Be an example to your children. I feel it’s important to show my kids that nothing comes easily. One needs to work for it in some way and to appreciate the fruits of your labour. We have come a long way in the last 60 years in South Africa. It’s wonderful that women can choose to work and aren’t only expected to stay home caring for children. We all have huge responsibilities raising children and we need to be the best possible version of ourselves. “Launching an ecommerce store that sells sports clothing and gear is a dream come true for me, as I know working is what keeps me motivated and level headed. Being a mother is a very important job, however being an informed, balanced and happy mom is worth much more,” concludes Carey. For more information about Carey Mol and her store, please go to www.commanderstore.com About the Author: Carey Mol, is a mother of 3, wife and owner of CommanderHQ, an online sporting gear and apparel store and balances her time between work and her children. For many years she worked full time in the mobile and digital industry, as MD for Cellular Media Distribution (CMD). After becoming a mother, she realised she wanted to spend as much time with her kids as she did fostering her career. She now hopes to inspire young and old, to take part in sport and live an active and healthy lifestyle.

March 9, 2017

Parents Lack Visibility and Control over Kids’ Online Activity, Study Shows

Parents need to do more to protect their kids from the growing number of online threats, but many currently lack visibility of the dangers their children are facing. New global research from Kaspersky Lab reveals that only a quarter (26%) use parental control software to help restrict their kids’ activity online. Worryingly, among those parents who haven’t installed parental control features, one in five (21%) believe that it is better for children to learn how to use the Internet safely themselves. The Consumer Security Risks Survey 2016 uncovered what parents think about the online world and the challenges they face in protecting their family from threats. The research showed that only a third (37%) of parents worry that their children could be exposed to inappropriate or explicit content online. Just 36% are wary of their kids communicating with dangerous strangers, and 34% worry about them becoming a victim of cyberbullying. The study also found that not enough parents are taking the required steps to protect their children, with only a third (38%) regularly talking to their children about the dangers online and bringing the Internet into family conversation and a quarter (27%) regularly checking the Internet history on the browser. One in five (21%) prefer to become a contact within their kids’ social networks. Parents need to be more aware of the dangers lurking on the Internet. According to the survey, 41% of kids were exposed to online threats in the 12-month period leading up to the research. These threats included being exposed to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, dangerous strangers and more. “Parents need to be more aware of the dangers their children face online. They need to help their kids become more cyber-savvy and put protection methods in place to keep them safe online, as they would in the physical world”, said Andrei Mochola, Head of Consumer Business at Kaspersky Lab. “You wouldn’t let your children cross the road or talk to strangers on their own, so it’s surprising to see almost a quarter of parents leaving their kids to browse the Internet independently. It’s easy to overlook the security threats of the online world when you’re a busy parent but leaving kids to deal with threats without help is unsafe. As the digital world increasingly impacts on all aspects of our lives it is more important than ever to boost knowledge and put safeguards in place.”

February 17, 2017

How to make “back-to-school” activities a breeze.

It’s never too late to start planning for a productive school year ahead. With a little creativity and a range of helpful back-to-school tools at your disposal, you can take the stress out of family scheduling and ensure weekday routines stay on track throughout the school year. Epson, the global leader in printing technology, provides some useful tips to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Put a name on it – Replacing lost school clothes, books and other items can be an expensive process. Help your kids keep their belongings safe throughout the school year and beyond by using iron-on name tags to label clothes, and adhesive labels for stationery and books. The Epson LW-400 label maker allows you to print and save custom labels to your choice of different fonts, colours and sizes . Best of all, Epson’s label tapes are water-resistant and highly durable. Create a ‘drop station’ – Avoid the hassle of last minute homework surprises and parent notices crumpled at the bottom of school bags by creating a family ‘drop station’ – a designated area in the home where the kids can hang up their school bags and place any important letters or homework to be done in wall mounted folders, along with a white board for jotting down to-do lists and goals for the week. Get the kids to tick off completed tasks on the white board, which helps get them into a routine of getting things done on time while instilling a sense of responsibility. You can find ready-made calendars and goal planners here, or simply design your own using basic software already available on your PC. Make vision boards – Along with goal charts, vision boards will help kids to visualise what they would like to achieve over the next three, six and 11 months – whether at school, at home or in their social lives. Gather everyone around a large table or on the floor, get the kids to print and cut out pictures and words from the Internet, or from magazines, that represent specific things they want to happen over the next year. Provide each child with a large empty canvas or board to stick their pictures on to, and hang these up where they will be seen and reflected on every day. Creating a space for the kids to display what they really want in life will help make their goals a reality. Give them something to look forward to at lunchtime – Getting kids to eat healthily is no easy task, especially with junk food options readily available at school tuck shops and in vending machines. You can easily turn boring fruits and veggies into fun characters, simply by getting a little crafty in the kitchen. You can also save precious minutes on school mornings by preparing everything you need the night before. Encourage them to think positively through the day by including printed notes with inspirational quotes and sayings for them to read during their lunch breaks. Design a custom on-the-go homework kit – Make sure homework is done no matter where the kids go after school – whether it’s after care or even a friend’s house – by giving them a homework kit stocked with everything they might need to get their work done – pens and colouring pencils, rulers, scissors, erasers, extra paper, calculators, and even times table charts. You can find beautiful printable charts online, as well as free printable motivational pages to use as a decorative feature for the inside of the kits. Epson’s Ink Tank System printers, like the Epson L382, offer low-cost printing with high-quality results, allowing you to print over 13,000 pages in black and 6,500 pages in colour, before needing to refill the ink. Get back into the swing of things with these nifty #BacktoSchool tips from Epson. With a little help from your Epson label maker and home printer, there’s no limit to what’s possible in the year ahead. Visit www.epson.co.za for more information about Epson’s innovative range of printing, scanning and labelling products. The Epson L382 printer is available in selected retail and e-tail outlets at a recommended retail price of R3 179.82 excluding VAT. The Epson LW-400 label maker is available in selected retail outlets and e-tail outlets at a recommended retail price of R1 130.70 excluding VAT. For more information about this product and other Epson printers visit www.epson.co.za

February 7, 2017

What Is The Recommended Screen Time For Children’s Eyes?

Many people are struggling with parenting given all of today’s modern technology, especially when it comes to the many omnipresent screens that children are currently using. Our grandparents were likely more concerned with a single screen, the one found on a lone television set in the living room. But nowadays, kids have a plethora of screens on their smartphones, tablets, televisions, computers, both at home and school. To ensure their children’s visual acuity remained intact, past parents from generations gone by were likely reminding kids to sit further away from the T.V. and limiting their screen time. So what are the recommended screen times to ensure today’s children aren’t suffering visually, mentally or emotionally? According to recent news reports, pediatricians have changed their antiquated and outdated recommendations for screens when it comes to the time kids spend using these devices currently. While experts still believe children younger than two shouldn’t be exposed to this type of digital technology, 30% of tots in diapers are comfortable using mobile devices. Paediatricians have also tweaked their recommendations about toddlers and screen exposure to include times it’s used to video chat with another parent or close relative. Screen time should also be age appropriate and younger usage should always be monitored. For example, for those children over the age of two and younger than five: Limit screen time to one hour per day and watch along with them to see how they’re absorbing and reacting to the content Avoid screen time that’s associated with either placating them or keeping them distracted Test apps or pre-watch visual materials before allow children to use or view them During meals, playtime or when in their rooms should all be screen-free zones No matter their age, parents should always be on the lookout for violent and inappropriate websites and other forms of technology. Parental controls were invented for a reason. School Aged Children Parents, teachers, faculty and physicians are all encouraged to work together in creating a “media plan” since there’s really no “one-size-fits-all” approach for children as they continue to mature. For example, research has shown that adolescent use of social media can be beneficial for their development, give them exposure to new ideas and promote circles of emotional support from their peers. On the other hand, too much time spent on these platforms can lead to depression, weight gain and a lack of sleep. Keep in mind that parents should: Be consistent, but at the same time, allow for some flexibility when it comes to circumstances like a special school project that may require online research Avoid the use of media at least an hour before bedtime and as mentioned previously, it’s not allowed during meals or other family times Communicate these guidelines to caregivers and babysitters to ensure they’re being enforced when you’re not in the picture Be sure to have ongoing discussions with your child about cyberbullying and what is (and is not) appropriate behaviour, posting and content on the world wide web. There’s a new-age idiom being used today that recommends parents advise their children to avoid posting or viewing anything that their grandparent would find offensive. It’s not only about how much time a child spends online, but how they are occupying themselves while on the internet. There should be a balance between engaging in valuable content and experiences with some recreational usage while they’re using their devices. As with almost anything else that goes with family and parenting, it’s all about balance.

January 10, 2017

Children and Technology

By Juazel de Villiers (née Pieterse), Clinical Psychologist Technology has become integrated in our daily lives, it has grown to be our means of communication, socialising, planning and working. However, it is important not to become desensitized to the effect technology or ‘screen time’ can have on our family, and especially our children. Screen time refers to watching television, playing computer games or entertainment on a phone, tablet, etc. For many of the questions parents have around technology, the first most important factor to take into account is the family circumstances, each family is unique, and so are their needs and responses to technology. The various limits will be influenced by the personality, characteristics and needs of each child and parent. That being said, there has been a notable increase in research regarding technology and family life, which can be used to guide each family in finding the healthy balance needed. The biggest consideration in the use of technology is how much is too much. Screen time should be monitored and limited where possible. Recent research has shown that children under the age of two should preferably not have screen time of any nature. Research has further shown that educational baby programmes have not been as beneficial as previously thought, or to a degree that counteracts the negative consequences of screen time for babies and toddlers. Children between two and eight should be limited to one-hour screen time per day, and those older than eight should be limited to a maximum of two hours of screen time per day. These limits should not be viewed as the recommended amount of screen time, but rather a maximum amount of time, less than one-hour screen time is still preferable. One of the reasons why this is of such importance, is because of the lack of other stimulation that children receive if they spend too much time with technology. Enhancing childhood development has become somewhat of a catch phrase, yet the different areas of development is not always recognised. It is important for children to move, in other words be physically active; movement is not only important for physical development but also for neurological (brain) development. Children also have a need for personal family interaction, social skills development apart from technology, writing skills development without a keyboard, and so forth. Early childhood is especially important for the very young child to develop social interactions with face-to-face contact. It is also of great importance for them to have extended periods of creative play to develop language, problem solving skills and their imagination. The increased time that children spend on technology not only takes away from other skill development, but it has also been linked to an increase in a wide variety of childhood difficulties, examples include increased weight gain, occurrence of anxiety and difficulties with concentration. This is one of the difficulties or challenges that Skidz Clever Activity Boxes has attempted to address. The boxes and curriculums provide parents not only with information on development, but also with a structured programme as an alternative to screen time which encourages healthy development across a range of areas. The other important consideration that needs to be made when using technology is whether or not parents should know their children’s passwords. Parents want to be able to demonstrate their trust in their children, and as a result they are often reluctant to invade their child’s privacy by insisting on knowing their children’s passwords. However, it can be of great importance to know the password, as children and adolescents are especially vulnerable to the dangers of technology. Technology has been amazing in creating a world where we are easily connected to one another, where information is ‘at our fingertips’, but this information could easily be about your child. During the childhood and teenage years, the responsibility of the parents is to protect their children, and to teach them right and wrong. The expectation is that the child or teenager is still learning and not yet able to protect themselves from the various challenges and dangers they are exposed to. The same way you would not leave your child alone in a strange home with people you do not know, it is unsafe to leave your child ‘alone’ in the world of technology. By knowing their password, you are able to learn about what environment they are in, it allows the parent to access the information that their child is being exposed to, to know who their child is interacting with, and if their child is safe. In the same manner, it is important for parents to supervise the use of technology and what their child is accessing or watching during screen time. Parents are advised to always supervise when their children are engaged in screen time and to make us of filters and blockers. Young children often click on the ‘flashing button’ without being able to, or taking time to, read where it could take them, it is for this reason that it is very important to ensure that you as parent take time to familiarise yourself with how the filters and blockers work. Without the proper control and supervision, the benefit parents often cite of technology ‘keeping your child entertained with minimal supervision through screen time’, can also be the biggest danger of screen time. Background of Juazel de Villiers (née Pieterse), Clinical Psychologist The Psychology Practice of Juazel Pieterse was started in 2013 by Juazel, a Clinical Psychologist. At the practice we provide psychological intervention for a range of psychological difficulties, including depression, anxiety, stress, adhd, autism, family difficulties, parenting skills and support, change of life difficulties, and so forth. Our focus varies between prevention and treatment as needed. Our passion is to work with individuals, groups and the community to create awareness of psychological difficulties and well-being. References: Graber, D (2015) How much ‘Screen time’ is too much? Why that is the wrong questions. Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/diana-graber/how-much-screen-time-is-too-much-why-thats-the-wrong-question_b_7285212.html Powell, A (2015) Keeping an eye screen

November 29, 2016

3 ways parents can keep their child’s device ‘clean’

Raising children in the digital age has become a little bit of a ‘ying-yang’ experience. Consider this, Dad is comfortable with his little angel getting the latest smartphone because she has done well in her academic year but, Mom doesn’t think it’s a good idea, considering the increased exposure she will have to the Internet. There is cyber criminals, uncontrolled content and cyber bullying, just as a start, to consider. What do you do as a family? Parenting has truly changed, not so long ago children played outside far more, whereas today approximately 56% of them now spend their time communicating with friends on social media platforms – a totally different reality. As a parent, wouldn’t you feel better knowing what your daughter or son is saying to his/her friends? Or what the online world is saying to them? Kaspersky Lab’s research shows that globally, 40% of children disclose sensitive information about themselves or family, which is not surprising, given that 28% of parents in South Africa feel they do not have any control over what their children see or do online. It’s not doomsday though, as we can all agree that the Internet is one of the best invention ever when it comes to finding anything and everything one needs – it just makes life easier. Today, however, given this, the responsibility lies with us, to ensure we educate our kids about staying safe while online and why it is important not to share any sensitive information, as well as how to avoid downloading any malware onto their smartphones or devices. It is not easy explaining this to a 6 or 10-year-old, but don’t avoid the subject because you think your children are too young – in fact the younger you start the conversation, the easier it will be for children to assimilate and understand your views. We understand that it is a challenging subject to address, however so is the reality and impact of cyber bullying or sextortion. The new Kaspersky Internet Security – multi-device 2017 – includes some features that will assist you in keeping your children safe. The Parent control feature – this feature will assist parents to monitoring online activities of their children. For example, as so many kids love to ‘check-in’ online – with this feature, as a parent, you can make this function private, as check-ins are another way cyber criminals keep track of their victims. Cleans apps – as downloading an app is easy, the Software Cleaner function in this solution informs parents when a child installs an app, both from a credible source, or even from a not so credible one. Upon receiving a report from Software Cleaner, you are able to either remove or leave the app on the device. Lastly, there is room for privacy – privacy should not only apply to adults, it applies to everyone who has a digital profile. The Secure Connection feature of this solution, ensures that your children connect to the Internet safely and that their data is protected. This feature will protect your child’s sensitive information. The new Kaspersky Internet Security – multi-device 2017 offers parents wanting to give their children access to the Internet, the ability to do so in a safe and controlled manner. Despite the risks, don’t avoid going online, but rather ensure you are informed and educating your family about cyber safety.

November 18, 2016

Why should we limit out children’s screen time?

Our kids are growing up in a technological age. They are confronted with tablets, smartphones, laptops, DSTV and so much more. Your phone is seen as part of your image and our kids want the latest and greatest. So why should we limit them? The biggest concern I have is that kids are not spending enough time outside playing. The reasons for this are: It’s not safe Preschools are focusing more on academic performance More and more screen time is available in different formats Safety In the society we live in in South Africa it is a valid concern that our kids are not safe to play outside by themselves any more. Kids are told to stay indoors and this force them to play stationary games or be involved in screen time. Screen time The inventors of children’s television shows and games/apps target the primitive brain. They use fast moving images and bright colours to target our visual system. They use loud and quickly changing sounds to target our auditory system. When I ask parents how long their child is able to concentrate they usually tell my ‘O he can watch television for hours’. This is not concentration ability!!!! This is your child’s primitive brain being targeted and activated. Our poor teachers have no way to compete with TV and games and apps and we wonder why our children cannot concentrate anymore and why ADD and ADHD is being diagnosed more frequently in our kids!!! According to research a child younger than 2 who watches television has a 15% higher risk of developing ADD/ADHD. Thus a child under 2 should not be exposed to ANY screen time. Another big concern is that parents don’t play with their children any more. Most families are dual income households and thus mom and dad work full day and are too tired to play with their kids. This is not ideal but this is what is happening. Out toddlers don’t know how to play any more as they are not used to thinking up games or spend time inventing games. Creativity suffers. We now have to teach our kids how to play house-house, how to play with cars and how to entertain themselves by playing in the garden. Screen time takes away creativity. Academic performance We as a society are placing more and more pressure on our children to grow up faster. Some pre-schools tend to focus more on academic performance like counting and getting to know the letters of the alphabet than playing outside. Children should be playing outside nearly all day long to facilitate the necessary skills they need for development. Benefits of playing outside: Bilateral integration Postural control Activating the proprioceptive system Activating the vestibular system Sensory integration Socialising Gross motor skills Eye-hand coordination Eye-foot coordination The impact of limited outside play: Poor postural control So what is postural control? It is the ability to have stability at your big joints and to maintain different postures. Our kids are not able to sit still any more. The reason for this is that they don’t get enough vestibular (movement) and proprioceptive (deep-pressure) input. These 2 systems underwrite postural control. Children tend to slouch in their chairs, support their heads while doing table top tasks, exhibits fidgeting, rides on their chairs, changes their posture frequently while sitting. All of this is their bodies craving movement and deep pressure input. So what happens in class? Most teachers tell the learners to sit still. This will cause postural control to diminish thus postural control will decrease. Now the learner with spend so much energy and effort staying upright and still in the chair that no energy is left to pay attention to what the teacher is saying or to complete given work. These kids tend to rush through tasks or tire easily and fine motor skills then decrease thus they write untidily and make unnecessary mistakes. Poor vision Kids start using ipads /phones at a very young age, when the visual system is not yet fully developed and not able to withstand this prolonged visual demand at near. This leads to a generation that is becoming increasingly myopic (nearsighted), as we have seen in China in the last 20 years. Digital screens also emit a lot of blue light, which has been shown to cause premature aging to our eyes – our children will need reading glasses 10 years earlier than what we do, and research shows that degenerative eye diseases due to this excessive blue light exposure is happening at a much younger age (up to 15 years earlier than in the previous generation). Weight gain Obesity in our kids is getting out of hand! This leads to many other health and self-esteem issues Poor communication skills This affects their ability in making friends, initiating conversations and to resolve conflict So what can we as parents do? I am a mom myself and I know we sometimes use the television as a nanny. When we want to prepare a meal or have some time to ourselves it is easy to switch on the television and entertain the kids. When you have to do this please then make sure it is a program of some value and appropriate for your child’s age No screen time for kids under 2 years of age Children’s screen time should be limited to 1 hour daily while in primary school and to 2 hours when in high school Have certain times during the day when no screen time is allowed e.g. while eating dinner/having a braai No televisions/X-boxes allowed in children’s rooms Set the parental control on your television and internet (especially google) Spend time playing outside with your kids doing gross motor tasks e.g. kicking a ball, rolling down a hill, playing in the sand pit or sliding down a slide. Have their vision and eye-muscle functioning evaluated by an optometrist If you suspect that your child has poor postural control – take your child to an occupational therapist to assist you in improving this

November 17, 2016

Matric Stress – When is enough, enough?

As hundreds of thousands of young South Africans are busy writing their Matric exams this month, they have entered into what is, for the majority, the most stressful, charged and demanding experience of their schooling experiences. A certain measure of pressure to perform can certainly be highly motivating. But the line is thin, and it is all too easy for the pressures of writing these final schooling exams to mount unbearably, putting matriculants at risk of being overwhelmed just at the time when they most need to feel confident, alert and focused. People react to stress differently, and students experience different kinds of stresses. Some have high expectations of themselves and may become anxious and fearful that they won’t achieve their own goals. Others may feel extreme pressure from others to perform, such as from parents or teachers they really want to please. What is important for both parents and students to understand is that stress is going to be a factor over the next few months, and it needs to be consciously managed so that it does not derail the efforts of our current Grade 12’s. We asked Claudia Raats, Research Psychologist and Academic Development Manager from SACAP (the South African College of Applied Psychology) to provide some essential tips on monitoring and managing stress: 1. Know Yourself “The question of when is Matric stress, too much stress, needs to be answered individually. It helps for both parents and students to reflect on this. Naming the fears and anxieties, and identifying the sources of the pressures the student feels brings important awareness to particular danger areas for the individual. When the triggers are known, they are easier to anticipate, monitor and manage. It’s also helpful identify the individual’s habitual reactions and behaviours when they are under stress. What works to help relieve stress for you? What makes stressful situations worse for you? If this is clear to you then it is easier to identify when you need to take a different action such as going for a run or whether you need to temporarily avoid engagement with a particular person. Some people react to stress by trying to distract themselves by getting involved in an absorbing activity such as watching TV or playing digital games. While it may result in temporary relief from the stress in the short term, it can potentially create more stress if it causes the student to get behind on their study plan. If this is the case, a different way to release stress needs to be found.” 2. Look After Yourself “A balanced mental and emotional state provides us with resilience in the face of stress, enabling us to manage our reactions better and recover quicker when the stakes have got too high. Our mental and emotional well-being is inextricably linked to the state of our physical health. It is vital for students to get enough restful sleep every night, to be physically active regularly, to eat healthily and to have some time set aside in their busy study schedule for relaxing and socialising with supportive, encouraging people. Parents can play a vital role in helping their child to achieve this balance over the next months. They can ensure that healthy foods and drinks are available in the house. They can encourage their child to get out and take a walk with them when they’ve had long hours at their desk. They can help to promote healthy sleeping habits, and also provide a loving, compassionate connection full of encouragement.” 3. Avoid Stressing Yourself Out by Listening to Your Inner Critic We all have an inner critic which is the negative internal voice that often comes out when you are stressed and anxious. It is very important to be highly aware of negative self-talk that only inflames your fears, anxieties and stresses. It is also helpful to have strategies to quickly and effectively silence this inner critic so that you can restore a state of balance. When you find yourself aware of running thoughts like ‘You will never pass Matric’ or ‘There’s no way you’re going to get an A’ or ‘You’re just not bright enough’ or ‘You won’t amount to anything’, you will have identified the voice of your inner critic. It often echoes the voice of a critical parent, or an intolerant teacher or a bully who has impacted on you. The best way to deal with this downer-character is to become aware of it, gain insights into where it came from and then challenge it with evidence from your real life that it is wrong. For example, if you are busy studying Maths and your inner critic pipes up with: ‘You can’t do Maths, you’re going to fail this’ you can challenge this negative thought it with the reality that since you are busy studying Maths at Matric level, you have passed a lots of Maths tests and exams, and therefore you can do it. Don’t hesitate to talk back to your inner critic and show it the proof of your success. You can also dilute the impact of your inner critic when you engage in positive self-talk. Regularly affirming that you are smart and that you can do it builds confidence, increases your energy and puts you on the road to success – after all, everything starts with an idea. Let your Matric exam experience start with the idea that you can ace it. Find success quotes and ‘can-do’ statements that inspire you and make you feel motivated, and put them up in places where you see them often during a day. Another effective tactic to take power away from your inner critic is to externalise it. It might seem silly in the written word but in practice this works well. If you are battling an inner critic, disempower it by giving it a silly name and calling it out. ‘Hmmm, Negative Nancy is at it again’ or ‘Oh look, Pessimistic Pete has come out to play’. Of course, you

November 11, 2016

Psychological study discovers new era of ‘digital best friends’, Kaspersky Lab reports

A third of consumers are willing to ditch their friends for their smartphone. Yet 93% willingly give away their smartphone PIN when asked – putting the safety of their ‘digital best friend’ at risk. An experiment, which asked participants to rate various people and objects in their lives in order of importance, has discovered that 37% of participants rate their smartphone as more, or equally, important as their close friends. The results of the experiment, which was conducted by the universities of Würzburg and Nottingham Trent, on behalf of Kaspersky Lab, show that smartphones are set to overtake friends in importance. The experiment asked participants to position images representing various people and objects in their lives, in relation to themselves on a diagram of a chessboard. While family, friends and pets were generally placed closer to the participant than their smartphone, many other significant people in the participant’s lives – including the people they work or study with every day – took a back seat in comparison to their digital companions. Nearly a third of participants (29%) said their smartphone was equally important, or more important, to them than their parents; while one in five set his digital device equal or even more important than his partner. 17% of respondents rated their smartphone in the highest importance category, although only 1% said their smartphone was more important than anything else in their life. Despite the value placed on devices as a source of entertainment, information and data storage, participants in a supporting experiment were more than happy to share their smartphone PIN number when asked, exposing access to all their personal and sensitive information. During the experiment, 93% of participants gave away the PIN to their digital best friend when asked. Astrid Carolus, Media Psychologist at the University of Würzburg, led the study. She comments: “Our phones are an integral part of our lives, and this study brings psychological proof of this. Our friend-like connection with our smartphones means that we place an incredible degree of trust in an inanimate object – so much so, that we consider it a closer and more important element of our lives than many other people. With this in mind, we were surprised to see that it was nevertheless very easy for us to get hold of smartphone PIN codes. We asked people to sit in a waiting room for a period of time, and then asked them for their body height and smartphone PIN code. Without much hesitation the vast majority of people gave it to us. This is worrying, because it suggests that we are willing to put our digital friends – and the data they hold – at risk.” Equating a digital device with human qualities is nothing new. Experiments in the 1990s found that people ascribed human traits to computers when interacting with them. David Emm, senior security researcher at Kaspersky Lab, comments on the security implications of having an emotional connection with a device: “Following on from last year’s study into Digital Amnesia – the phenomenon that suggests we forget the information we entrust to our devices – this latest experiment further proves the strong emotional connection we have with our phones. Another interesting finding was that people rate their smartphones as far more important to them as laptops or other devices that hold the same degree of information, highlighting the symbolic role our phones have for us as digital companions, forever at our side. Having this emotional relationship with your smartphone can mean your decision process when it comes to protecting the data stored on it is more limited. We already know many people forget to secure their smartphones, as they view them almost as an extension of themselves, and this can make them vulnerable to cybercriminals.” Ascribing more importance to our phones than real-life friends and acquaintances shows just how important it is to secure the information we entrust them with. Kaspersky Lab has been researching the social effects of digitalisation and how this makes people potentially more vulnerable to cybercrime for the last two years. An overview of the results is available at www.kaspersky.com/amnesia

September 21, 2016

New study reveals the Internet is a source of family conflict and disconnect

The way we live our digital lives at home is having a big impact on our family relationships, according to new research from Kaspersky Lab and iconKids & Youth. With people spending more time online, a fifth of parents and children say that the Internet and connected devices can be a cause of family tension. The research, which surveyed over 3,700 families in seven countries, provides an insight into how the digital world is disrupting traditional family dynamics. Whereas in the past parents were the first port of call for children seeking answers to questions or advice, one-in-four (23%) of the parents surveyed say that their kids now prefer to go online rather than talk to them. The research also found that almost half (42%) of parents are not friends with their children on social networks, and one-in-five (18%) says this is because their children would find it embarrassing. All in all, a fifth of parents (21%) and children (22%) say that the Internet can cause family tension. Most concerning of all, one-in-three parents (31%) believe the Internet isolates them from their children. The conflict may be exacerbated by the fact that the devices used to go online are often shared. Two-thirds of the families surveyed said they share a family computer. As a result, a third of parents (31%) complain that their child has broken something on a connected device or infected it with a virus while online (30%) and a quarter (24%) has had to pay for something their child had ordered or downloaded. Similarly, 13% of kids accuse parents of breaking a device and 16% complain that their parents had accidentally deleted some of their data. Andrei Mochola, Head of Consumer Business at Kaspersky Lab said: “It is only natural that using – and misusing – each other’s connected devices can become a cause of conflict for families. However, as we spend more and more time online, family dynamics are also changing. It is important that families maintain an ongoing dialogue about how to spot and respond to potential dangers, with parents and children together agreeing on the basic rules on how they can best navigate the digital world. It is also important to be serious about protection. We recommend installing an integrated home Internet security solution on all devices in the home. This should be enhanced with Parental Control software, which can block access to inappropriate sites or apps and prevent sensitive data from being shared or deleted.” Janice Richardson, Senior Advisor at European Schoolnet, adds: “Although Internet becomes a source of conflict in some families, a recent study[1] by the Joint Research Center of the European Commission interestingly underlines an emerging trend, with siblings and extended family members taking on a much bigger role in children’s online activities. Unsurprisingly, children are instinctively turning to the person they perceive to be able to fix technical issues, advise on sites and security tools and provide more objective responses to delicate queries. This underlines the importance of parents and guardians developing their own technical competence and building trusting relationships with their children whilst also establishing basic rules on Internet and device usage to avoid conflicts. At the same time, software and social media providers, too, should seek to develop more ‘family-friendly’ tools.” For more useful advice on protecting children on the Internet, visit kids.kaspersky.com. Information about a technical solution to these problems can be found at Kaspersky Safe Kids.

August 11, 2016

Parental Control report reveals chats, games and narcotics most popular among children

Kaspersky Lab’s latest report shows that children around the world spend most of their time online using communication tools such as social networks, email, chats, etc. (accounting for 67% of online activity). Globally, gaming portals (11%) and websites containing information about alcohol, narcotics and tobacco (9%) came second and third, respectively. At the same time, there is a noticeable difference between children’s interests in different countries. In South Africa, the figures are as follows: Social networks (56%) Email (12%) Chats (6%) Gaming (9%) Drugs (7%) The report, covering 12 months, shows anonymised statistics from Kaspersky Lab solutions for Windows PCs and Macs with the Parental Control module switched on, and presents the share of visits or attempted visits to websites with potentially harmful content that fall under one of the 14 preset categories*. The statistics show that during the reporting period, children cut back on visits to communication media and adult-themed websites. This trend can be explained by children moving most of their sensitive activities to mobile devices, which were not covered in the report. The “Internet communication media” category was most popular in Mexico (86%), Russia, Brazil and Italy (all slightly more than 70%). The least communicative during this period were children in China (30%), Germany (31%) and the UK (32%). Interestingly, the less popular this category was in a country, the more popular the “Computer games” category was. Children in the UK (28%), Germany (26%) and Australia (21%) are most likely to play online, while children from Mexico (4%), Italy (6%) and Japan (7%) do so less frequently. When it comes to watching videos, listening to music and downloading software, kids in Japan are the clear leaders (12% of all Parental Control notifications). They are also more likely to shop online (17%), as are children and teenagers in China (20%). The category “Alcohol, tobacco and narcotics” racked up the most notifications in Germany (23%) and the UK (25%). In its turn, adult content generated most interest among children in China (23%) and Japan (5%). This topic was of least interest in the UK and the US (both less than 1%). “The popularity of certain types of websites among children in different countries can be linked to each country’s cultural traits and economic conditions. We see that children are becoming more self-reliant online: they choose what music to listen to, what movies and cartoons to watch, and what software to install. This independence is great, but on the Web, as well as in real life, it is necessary to guide youngsters and teach them how to behave wisely, safely and responsibly. We at Kaspersky Lab believe that to prevent encounters with harmful content, parents need to combine a comprehensive security solution with constant communication. Conversations educate young users about online threats and help to build trusting relationships in families, while security solutions provide a basis for such conversations and a safe environment for all the family,” says Anna Larkina, Senior Web Content Analyst at Kaspersky Lab. The Kaspersky Total Security – multi-device and Kaspersky Internet Security – multi-device consumer solutions include a Parental Control module to help adults protect their children against online threats and block any sites or apps with inappropriate content. Kaspersky Lab also offers the Safe Kids solution that allows parents to monitor what their children do, see or search for online across all devices, and to show them what is dangerous or inappropriate online.

July 12, 2016

Let’s play!

By Chantel Nortje, BSc Physiotherapy (Hons), UCT Physiotherapist with special interest in paediatrics In today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world it’s easy to forget the basics when it comes to our children’s growth and development. Added to this, with society’s shift towards all things digital – media, television, hand-held devices, and online and digital games – not enough time is spent engaged in traditional games and activities that would normally encourage the development of sensory, perceptual, language and motor skills. As modern-day adults, we need to remind ourselves that our children also have full-time jobs. Their work is to play and it’s a highly-skilled occupation that we need to encourage and nurture. We all get into bad routines of not setting aside enough regular time to provide our fully-focused attention, engaging with our children while they play traditional games and enjoy fun, messy activities. It is important to note that a lack of exposure to age-appropriate stimulation can lead to difficulties and barriers to learning. With my training and experience as a physiotherapist, I see many children missing out on crucial development milestones and, as a result, they struggle more – and at an earlier age – in the school environment. As children move and build their body’s strength through active play, they also develop important motor skills. One of the most significant benefits gained from encouraging active play is the development of physical stability needed for fine motor skills, which relate to the development of the small muscles of the hands needed for writing, cutting and other complex dexterity tasks later on. It is helpful and fun to concentrate on playing games or doing activities together that include children using their body and shoulder muscles to encourage fine motor skills. Progress and maturity of these areas of development form the basis, and provide benefits, for school-related tasks such as sitting at a desk for a prolonged period, writing, cutting, drawing, tying shoe laces, writing from the left to the right side of the page, and motor planning (being able to plan and execute purposeful movement). During my therapy sessions with children I have used a variety of the Tower Kids© products, including the sand art and foam mosaic, as mediums for strengthening children’s hand and finger muscles and developing fine motor skills. These fun, multisensory activities specifically target and strengthen hand and finger muscles by facilitating the repetitive use of various types of important finger grasps and hand postures over a prolonged time to create a beautiful craft that is unique and special. The benefit of developing these fine motor skills will positively impact school-related tasks, such as writing or cutting, and playing and having fun together is also a great way to spend quality time with your child. I encourage people to slow down and really invest in the process of their children’s development and spending time playing with them, rather than trying to get ahead as fast as possible. Taking it a little slower and spending time together helps children to lay down really solid foundations that they can build on successfully in years to come. By engaging in activities aimed at particular areas of motor development, families can help children learn and cope with the ever-increasing expectations placed on them at school, while having fun at the same time!

June 30, 2016

Your child is never too young to learn about online safety

From a young age, children today are curious about accessing the Internet. In fact, more often than not, we find that our children have a better understanding and know more about our devices around the household than we do. And as they grow, they become very savvy about how to use technology to remain in constant contact with friends. If you are a parent who have children over 10, I am sure you will agree that they are constantly on their phone, PC or tablet (if they have these devices), chatting to friends online, playing games or researching information for a school project. While these devices are great and allow our kids to connect to a host of new and interesting information, there are of course a number of potential dangers that your child could face while they are using these devices to connect online. For example, accessing Wi-Fi – be it at home or in a public space where public Wi-Fi is available – might seem ‘easy or safe’ enough. However, without the right online protection this small act could mean that your child becomes vulnerable to cybercriminals – especially if they are accessing public Wi-Fi that is open and not protected. Why? Well, open Wi-Fi generally does not have the necessary security in place, which means that cybercriminals can hack into your child’s computer or mobile phone, over this open connection and can gain access to a plethora of information/images and data about your child and yourself. In fact more often than not, cyber criminals use a public Wi-Fi space as an ‘easy’ opportunity to steal confidential information from devices – information like passwords, pictures from social media or even their instant messages may be shared. While being connected is part of our daily lives, as parents, we must remember that any Wi-Fi access point is a window to the Internet for any device attached to it. It’s not only PCs or tablets that we have to worry about – your child can connect to public Wi-Fi via their mobile devices, which if compromised, can inadvertently lead them to dangerous content sites; invite them to download infected files (where they think it’s a new game upgrade) or even enter data on a phishing page. The possibilities for exposure are endless. However, it is not all doom and gloom. There are a few tips that can be followed to educate children about being savvy online, especially while using public Wi-Fi. Use 3G cards to access the Internet. If you are at an airport or at a coffee shop and your child wants to connect to the public Wi-Fi, rather give them your 3G Internet card to use, which, already has the necessary protection in place. Alternatively, if you do want to use the Wi-Fi in public venues, make sure that the Wi-Fi network is password protected. Enforce Virtual Private Networks (VPN) on your child’s mobile phone. VPNs provide a secure connection over the Internet between your child and websites they connect to. This means it encrypts the data exchanged across that connection. This can assist with protecting your child’s online activities while they are connected to the Internet as well as the content they can have access to – keeping them safe from cybercriminals. Try, whenever possible, to avoid letting your child connect to public Wi-Fi –rather ask your child not to use the public Wi-Fi and encourage them to play games offline. Implement a reliable security solution on all the devices that your children make use of, to ensure proper protection exists against all emerging threats. Parents should also consider solutions that incorporate a parental control feature, to allow you to set website access restrictions – ensuring that your children are not exposed to potentially harmful content. Education – teach your kids about Wi-Fi and the differences between open access, public and private Wi-Fi. The more your child is aware of these differences, the more they will understand if they can, and should, connect when they are out with friends. As public Wi-Fi is readily available, it is essential that as a parent you take the time to note these realities and spend time educating your children on the potential dangers that come with connecting to open Wi-Fi. Don’t let yourself, or your children, fall prey to cybercrime.

June 9, 2016

Digital Parenting Challenges

Do you remember gathering all the baby books and magazines you could find to read up on how to care for your baby and toddlers? The library and bookstore shelves were stuffed full of the newest feeding methods and sleeping approaches. We poured over every detail from burping techniques to swaddling methods, but what we didn’t expect to expect was the prevalence of digital technology in our children’s near future. Most of our preparations never mentioned social media or Smartphone technology. While our devices offer us amazing benefits with instant communication, easy access to information, and gps technology, this abundance can be overwhelming for modern parents when it comes to raising children. As we struggle to make sense of what our children are digitally up to, we can find ourselves questioning what they are really doing on their devices for hours and hours at a time. We understand that they are playing games, sending messages, snapping selfies, and streaming videos. These handheld luxuries offer endless entertainment and ways to communicate, but lurking behind the glow of the screens are a myriad of dangers many children and parents might not consider. Understanding Technology And Our Children Unfortunately, these hazards cover a wide variety of pitfalls from cyberbullying to oversharing to sexting to online predators. The list could probably go on and on, but these are four of the biggest problems facing our youngest digital natives. Only recently have these topics became real parenting challenges gaining national attention with daily negative headlines, which is why many of us are left wondering what to do when it comes to children and technology. It’s essential that we consider a recent study’s shocking revelation that cyberbullying rates have tripled. The authors of the study acknowledge that 87 percent of our kids have either been victimised or witnessed, which is up dramatically from around 28 percent a few years ago. For parents, this can be devastating to digest, because we understand the links between bullying and increased chances for suffering from depression, high anxiety levels, and thoughts of suicide. If cyberbullying isn’t enough to worry, we need to consider that sexting is now considered a normal part of development. This trend might not expose a child to actual sex dangerous like pregnancy or disease, but sexting can lead children down a dangerous path. Minor children who send or receive a sext can potentially be charged by the authorities for possessing or distributing child pornography. It doesn’t matter if the act is consensual, it is seen by the law as a felonious act. To compound these matters, sexting can open our kids up for exploitation, bullying, relationship abuse, and shaming. 6 Popular Apps To Be On The Lookout For Coming to the conclusion that our children may be behaving badly online is disheartening, but we also need to consider that a majority of our sons and daughters, 70 percent in fact, hide their digital activity from us. Staying on top our children’s activity can be daunting, especially after the mass exodus of our teens from popular social media sites we frequent, like Facebook. To help you understand what apps and sites our children are using for a combined average of six or more hours each day of screen time, we have compiled a list of # trending apps that should be on our radar: Snapchat Whisper Dubsmash Instagram Ask.fm Burn Note How To Speak To Children About Digital Challenges To help us conquer digital parenting challenges, please read the following suggestions to help communicate with children and teens about problems they may face: Start a discussion regarding the importance of balancing technology in our everyday lives. Instil a sense of social media etiquette in young children and add to this foundation as a child ages. Use the “grandma rule” and only post items that they feel comfortable with Nanna stumbling across. Reclaim family time and events to offer plenty of time for communication. Make an effort to just listen and hear what they are saying. Reinforce good behaviour and choices. Let them know you appreciate their judgment. Develop a contract that states technology expectations and consequences as a family. Actively monitor a child’s cell phone and online activity. Know their friends, what sites they visit, and drop in from time to time on their social media profiles. Avoid lecturing and belittling children about social media and technology use. Lead with a good example!

May 4, 2016

Cyberbullying – a difficult reality for parents to understand

Do you know what your child is really doing when they are using their smartphone or tablet? Most of us choose to believe that ‘everything is fine’ and your child is merely watching a movie or playing an innocent game. But, have you considered that maybe at the very moment your child is using their device, that someone may be bullying them through an online chat or social network? While the Internet is a great tool for school work and connecting with friends and family, unfortunately there is another side, which, as parents, you need to pay attention to. Cyberbullying is one of the unpleasant effects of hyper-socialisation, which the Internet as a whole – and social networks in particular – bring. For those who are not familiar with this phenomenon, cyberbullying refers to online communication with the intent to abuse or degrade – and unfortunately, this is often aimed at school going children. Modern children and teenagers are deeply immersed in the virtual communications world, sometimes even deeper than adults. They take everything that happens to them online very seriously and they live their lives based on their online world connections. In contrast to adults, youngsters often have more fragile psychological defence mechanisms or none at all. Remember how many times in your life online conversations made you feel angry, abused, or upset. Imagine what your child feels when she or he faces something similar, but this is shared with the school through daily updates on a social platform – for everyone to see or comment on! A big part of the problem today is that parents are rarely aware of cyberbullying that may be happening to their kids – as often kids don’t speak up about it. So, as a concerned parent, what can you do to protect your kids from psychological traumas of cyberbullying? Kaspersky Lab provides some advice: Firstly, be patient, it will take time. Like every serious issue in life, problems with cyberbullying can’t be solved in a couple of minutes – if this happens to your child, be aware of the fact that resolving the issue will take some time. Don’t wait or hope that your child will come to you and tell you about the problem. As the parent, we recommend you should start this conversation – to ascertain if maybe there is a problem here that needs to be addressed. Each person has a right to privacy, but this is not a reason to neglect your child’s online activity. Learn what your children do on social networks, which platforms they use and who their friends are online. For a start, look to add them to your friends list in every social network in which you both have accounts. Talk to your children about cyberbullying – explain to them they should come to you if/when they face this problem. Ensure they understand that cyberbullying is a commonly encountered problem today and that it’s okay if they experience it, if they report it to you – you can help them resolve the issue. Never use prohibition. Taking away a child’s phone or disconnecting their devices from the Internet won’t help. Actually, such prohibitions are what your child is afraid of and why they wouldn’t tell you about cyberbullying to begin with. Talk to your children about basic online security and privacy steps. Show them how to change privacy settings on social networks to prevent strangers from seeing their private data, pictures, details etc. To protect your child as efficiently as possible, you can also look to use parental control applications. The digital age we live in is not going anywhere. Rather technologies will continue to evolve and this means that your child will likely evolve with them. Considering this, and the expansion of social media it has become important that parents are aware of what their children are doing online and to educate their children about cyberbullying – to ensure they can come to you as well as do not engage in this activity themselves. The online environment can be potentially harmful, but if you take the time to speak to your children and educate them, it does become an easier place to navigate.

March 28, 2016

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