Pregnancy & Baby - Parenting Hub

Crying Through The Ages

Newborn The newborn baby is typically much calmer and cries less than you would expect. Many parents are surprised that their baby does not scream at birth but rather makes quieter sounds and has a period of relative calm. Your hormones released in the birth process and the natural birth process itself results in a calm alert baby on the day he is born. Even after the initial 24 hours, the new baby is only really likely to cry when hungry, which once the milk comes in can be as often as two hourly or may be spread out to closer to four hours. It is important in the early days to feed your newborn on cue as this will not only settle him but also encourages your milk supply. The other time newborns cry is when being changed and bathed. Both changing and bathing result in feeling the cold air and new touch sensations, which can be disconcerting for the new baby. If a newborn (0-2 week old) cries a lot, it is important to have him checked by a doctor or clinic sister as this is typically a period of relative calm, which we call the honeymoon period. Most babies do not cry extensively during the early days. 2 weeks -3 Months At around the two week mark, many babies become unsettled and begin to fuss more than during the honeymoon period. This is completely normal and in fact the ‘crying curve’ is well documented. This curve shows that babies begin to cry seemingly without reason at around 2 weeks old and by 12 weeks old this crying has almost entirely abated. This unexplained early baby crying peaks at about 6 weeks of age. Traditionally called colic, we now know that in fact this crying has nothing to do with the digestive system and remedies for tummy ailments make as much difference as sugar water. (St. James) Even if your baby tucks his legs up or kicks and screams for an extended period of time, you can rest assured that almost every crying baby of this age is healthy and normal. Colic is caused by over stimulation. Being alive in our busy sensory world can be overwhelming for many babies and this coupled with too little sleep will result in crying as your baby responds to the sensory input of the world and the little bubbles in his tummy with crying. The best ways to avert colic is to swaddle your baby and settle to him to sleep after only an hour of awake time. If your little one is very unsettled, do not worry about spoiling him at this age. Under four months of age babies do not have long term memory and so will not be ‘spoilt’ by being rocked or lulled to sleep. 4-6 Months The four to six month old is much less susceptible to overstimulation and therefore is more settled. But just as you think you are getting the hang of this parenting thing, you will find your baby become a little less predictable. Instead of remaining settled for a good three to four hours between feeds, many babies of this age begin to fuss and wake more frequently at night too. This relates to their new and growing nutritional needs. At this age you can choose to respond to the increased demand for nutrition with increasing the number and frequency or quantity of milk offered or you may choose to introduce solids. The latest research indicates the introduction of solids is safe and good for babies anytime between 4 and 6 months of age. Your 4-6 month old may still become crotchety if overtired or over stimulated. Watch your baby’s awake times (Baby Sense 2010) 6-12 Months The older baby is a bundle of fun and laughs and will not spend much time crying. There are a few reasons that typically raise their heads: Illness – many babies get their first colds and illnesses at this age and an irritable baby with a fever is not much fun. Separation anxiety – as your baby develops object permanence and realizes he is separate from you, he will become increasingly irritable whenever you are out of site. A transition object or security blanket will help him to feel a little more secure. Nappy change time – all 8 month olds resist having their nappy changed and become very irritable. This is typical and is no reason to be concerned. Simply put the back position for nappy changes is way to passive and our little one will get very irate when placed on his back. Teething – typically your baby’s first tooth will emerge during this stage and you may have a day or two of irritability. Toddlers Your toddler has an opinion and mind of his own and generally this will impact on his mood. There are three main reasons for crying and tantrums A toddler may throw an almighty tantrum if he is overtired – we tend to overestimate our toddler’s ability to stay awake and be stimulated. The reality is that toddlers need at least one day sleep and an early bedtime. In addition, toddlers can only socialize for a limited period before becoming over stimulated and crying or throwing a tantrum. If your toddler feels misunderstood, you will have a tantrum on your hands. Toddlers understand more than you would believe and can process cognitively what they want to say or do. The problem is that it will be some time before your toddler can express himself adequately. When he feels like you do not understand him a tantrum may ensue. Some toddlers throw tantrums and cry simply to get their way. Again this is normal and is part of developing independence and autonomy. Finally, it is vital to realize that all babies are different. Some settled little ones cry very little and take each stage in their stride, while a sensitive baby cries for almost no reason and is

March 12, 2015

Depression And Anxiety During And After Pregnancy

Pregnancy is generally assumed to be a wonderful time in the life of a family, a time of abundance and anticipated joy. For some women however, pregnancy can be an extremely stressful time, with many women experiencing feelings of both depression and anxiety. It is well known that pregnant women need to take care of their bodies in order to foster the growth of a health baby. However, it is equally important for pregnant women to take care of their emotional well-being, as untreated depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy can have long term consequences for the whole family. This article addresses some of the important issues with regards to pregnancy and depression and anxiety, and offers some advice on how best to cope with depression and anxiety during pregnancy. Are there different forms of depression during pregnancy? Depression is a common problem amongst women, and is most common in women age 18 to 44. This is the time when many women fall pregnant and so it stands to reason that pregnancy and depression can often overlap. Depression can therefore take on several different forms during and after pregnancy. Some women will be depressed prior to falling pregnant and this will continue into their pregnancy and even after the birth of their child. Some women will only become depressed during pregnancy and this can continue once the baby is born (becoming what is classified as postnatal or postpartum depression). In fact, research has established that women who are depressed whilst they are pregnant are more likely to experience postnatal depression, making it important that women who are depressed during pregnancy seek help before their baby is born. Some women will be emotionally well during their pregnancy, but will suffer with postnatal depression after the birth of their baby. Postnatal depression does not necessarily occur immediately and can start up to eight weeks after the birth of a child. It is important to bear in mind that all forms of depression are treatable, and that there are many different forms of treatment available to pregnant women who are depressed. Depression during pregnancy can often go hand in hand with anxiety. This is not surprising, as the many changes that occur during pregnancy can be very stressful for many women. During the first trimester, many women become anxious that they will miscarry, or that something else will go wrong at this early stage of pregnancy. During the third trimester, many women can become anxious about the birth of their child, worrying about the birthing process itself as well as the enormous impact that having a baby will have on them and their relationships. Many first time mothers become anxious during pregnancy as they worry ability to take care of an infant. Research has also shown that it is common for women to become anxious before being discharged from hospital once the baby has been born. These are all normal concerns and should not be seen as abnormal or wrong. However, if these anxieties become too extreme, or they are coupled with feelings of depression, then it is important that they are addressed and treated during pregnancy, as women who are extremely anxious during pregnancy are also more likely to experience postnatal depression. Why does depression often go undiagnosed and untreated during pregnancy? During pregnancy women experience many physical changes which differ depending on the stage of pregnancy. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to feel extremely tired, especially during the first and third trimesters. It is also very normal for pregnant women to have a change in appetite, ranging for example from nausea and lack of appetite in the first trimester, to increased appetite in the second and third trimesters. In addition, many women who are pregnant experience changes in libido. These are all normal aspects of pregnancy and are certainly no cause for concern. However, these changes are also hallmarks of depression. For this reason, depression can often go undiagnosed during pregnancy as both women themselves, and doctors, do not recognise these physical changes as depression. Unfortunately, up depression in pregnant women is misdiagnosed up to 50% of the time. This does not mean that all pregnant women should become overly concerned with becoming depressed or worry that the physical changes that they experience during pregnancy could be depression. Whilst up to 70% of women will experience some feelings of depression during pregnancy, it is estimated that only between 5 and 10% of women will experience clinical depression during pregnancy. In addition, approximately 13% of women who give birth will experience some degree of postnatal depression. This means that most pregnant women will not encounter problems with depression at any stage of their pregnancy. However, it is important for the small proportion of women who become depressed during pregnancy to seek help. Importantly, pregnancy is generally a time when women have regular contact with health care providers, meaning that there are numerous opportunities to access treatment for depression and anxiety during pregnancy. How will I know if I am depressed? Two important signs of depression are feeling down, depressed or hopeless and feeling little interest or pleasure in things that were previously enjoyable. We can’t all be happy all of the time, but if these feelings persist for most of the day over a period of about two weeks, then it is likely that your doctor would need to consider the possibility that you are clinically depressed. Many pregnant women feel too ashamed or embarrassed to mention these feelings to their doctors or to their friends or family. Women often feel an enormous amount of pressure to maintain a ‘happy face’ as they believe that pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, not sadness. However, it is extremely important for depression during pregnancy to be treated as there may be long term effects of depression on the baby as well as on the relationship between the mother and the baby. Importantly, depression during pregnancy is also

February 13, 2015

Childbirth Education Can Save Lives

Knowledge is the key to a safe, successful pregnancy, birth and parenting experience. At the very least childbirth education will improve your birth experience, and at best it can save your life. Of the million plus women who become pregnant in South Africa each year, those who receive antenatal care and quality childbirth education are the most likely to experience a healthy pregnancy and birth. Ideally all pregnant parents would attend childbirth education classes, which cover all aspects of pregnancy and birth as well as how to care for the newborn baby. However only about 5% of expectant parents do. There are some good online courses available. However, attending classes – which are usually held in the evenings or over a weekend – are more recommended; the interaction with the childbirth educator and other pregnant couples in the class is invaluable. Often lifelong friendships are formed. Typically childbirth education classes will cover: Pregnancy – physical and emotional changes Birth options Labour – breathing, water, massage, relaxation, visualisation Pain relief options Birth plan Breastfeeding Care of the new born baby Postnatal depression To help find the right childbirth educator for you and your partner ask the following: What are her qualifications? Ideally your childbirth educator is a qualified midwife and has completed a post-graduate diploma in Childbirth Education. Is she a member of the Childbirth Educator Professional Forum? Is she a mother? Which birthing methods are covered in the course and which are emphasised? What are her ideals of labour and do they match yours? Can partners attend? Ideally dad will be involved in some or all of the classes too! Are practical techniques taught e.g. breathing and positions for labour, massage, relaxation and visualisation? There is a list of qualified childbirth educators in the Expectant Mothers Guide or online on www.expectantmothersguide.co.za.

February 11, 2015

The “REAL” Before Baby Checklist

I strongly believe that nothing changes your views on parenting, quite like being a parent… I know every mom is different, but if it was up to me, I would have been given this checklist before “signing up” Are you okay with bodily fluids all over you, your house and even your car? On day two while Aidan was in NICU and the nurse was changing him is when I first experienced this. The moment she took the nappy off he somehow managed to get pooh ALL over, it even went through a cutout in his plastic crib and left a number one shaped pooh stain on the wall. At home he suffered from reflux and my dainty little spit up cloths were replaced with, cloth towels, blankets, buckets… Nothing ever stayed in him! Are you able to operate on two hours’ worth of sleep? Even when Aidan slept I was so paranoid I would just stare at him. So my nights were spent either being woken up by him crying or being woken up by him not crying. Are you fine with putting your heels into hibernation? I’m only now dusting of my stilettos (my son is 20 months old) because regardless of what the models/celebs and fashion blogging moms say, running on heels is MUCH easier than “mumming” on heels. Pushing a stroller, with a child on your hip (because he suddenly hates the stroller) while tittering on sky scraper heels is not for the faint hearted. If you are planning on breast feeding are you aware that at some point you will be wearing a thick jacket while the sun beats down on you, trying to act natural, because you are too embarrassed to strip down and reveal your milk stained blouse. I never understood just how important, breast pads are. They REALLY are! Are you okay with cold (at best lukewarm) food When they are tiny they seem to use the act of you sitting down to eat as their queue to cry to be picked up. It’s amazing really, and I for one don’t think you have lived until you have breastfed while eating a pie, like a boss. When they get older they want to taste your food or in the case of my picky eater just touch it and act repulsed. When they reach toddler stage you end up eating with one hand and mopping up spills with the other…very classy. Oh and when you go out to eat you can spot the mom’s by their eating style…The faster the ” act of shovelling of food into your mouth” the younger your kid…I remember having to tell myself to bite, chew, swallow, repeat. Are you aware that stepping on toys is a prerequisite? Whether it’s stepping on a loud squeaky toy the moment you finally get them to sleep or something sharp and hard like a Lego that makes you dance around in pain while trying not to use any “bad words” stepping on toys WILL HAPPEN. Unless you have a team of nannies or have the reflexes of cat woman that is. Are you ready to say goodbye to your home? Toys and baby stuff will overtake your house. Despite your best intentions you will not have a baby living with you, you will be living with a baby…don’t say I didn’t warn you. Are you okay with being judged about every little thing? Everyone has an opinion! Don’t hold him like that, don’t feed him like that, don’t do this, don’t do that, sleep with him close, but not that close, actually closer, nooooooo that’s too close. Now only eat fruit farmed by monks by the light of the moon to ensure he gets best in your milk for the next 3 years, you simply must feed for that long, any shorter or longer and we will call child protection services. Also I hope his pacifier is organic, they really shouldn’t have pacifiers though, but the one you don’t give him should still be organic. Would you like to be physically unable to walk into a shop to by something for yourself? You can buy stuff for yourself, just not without, a little something, just something small, tiny really for the baby. This one trumps all, it carries ten points Are you okay with waking up every day feeling so blessed you could burst. Are you fine with being loved and adored for just being you and with loving and adoring someone who you are responsible for. Also are you keen to watch someone grow and learn and to experience a world of firsts? I for one think I would be right where I am now with or without the questions…

February 10, 2015

Bonding And Not Bonding With Your Newborn… Why It Will Be Okay

When I was pregnant with Mikayla Rose, I often compared it to hell (I know, I am a great mom). I had a terrible experience… It started with severe nausea and vomiting (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) that lasted all day and all night for the entire duration of my pregnancy and it only got worse when my gynecologist at the time convinced me that there was no way that I would carry full term and that I would most probably suffer a miscarriage. I also apparently had very little amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. Subconsciously this resulted in me ‘disconnecting’ myself from my pregnancy and baby to some extent. It was stressful and I was depressed – I cried every single time we left the gynecologist’s office. This fear of miscarriage carried on up until about six months – waiting for the supposedly inevitable the whole time. My husband and I never shared this with anyone, it was confusing and private – and we still had hope. We eventually decided to make an appointment at the Fetal Assessment Center in Cape Town to get a second professional opinion – the result? Baby is perfectly fine and normal, a little bit on the small side, but absolutely nothing to be alarmed about. That gynea pretty much ruined my pregnancy… Anyway…, we decided to rather go back to my hometown to have my family doctor deliver Mikayla – we carried a full term and the only reason for the emergency cesarean was that there were very high ketone levels in my urine and my constant vomiting was denying my body and my baby the nutrition we needed. Everyone talks about that moment when they first lay eyes on their babies, when they felt this huge rush of love, when they knew they would give their life for this child in an instant, when their life hits this pinnacle of pinnacles. My moment wasn’t exactly like that, and it took me a while to realize that it was fine (and normal) too. Mikayla weighed 2.9kg at birth and when I first saw her I felt joy, relief, and even awe… deep, huge awe that this was a real baby – that this was my baby and I was her mother. Here she was, little grasping hands and pouty lips. Suddenly this abstract idea in my belly had turned into a real little person. I knew I loved her and that she was beautiful and perfect, but something was missing. I was so heavily medicated at the time that I wrote this strange feeling off and left it at that. I felt like a bride at an arranged marriage. I knew that the baby in my arms would be hugely important in the rest of my life, but right now, we had just met. I couldn’t stop staring at her over the next few days – not because I loved her, yet, but because I wanted to get to know her so badly. I was at home with Mikayla for about a month when I realized that I had Postnatal Depression, it was impossible to ignore it… and maybe that contributed to the lack of a bond I was feeling towards my child. Mikayla had colic, and I really struggled to breastfeed – no matter how hard I tried I just never had enough milk. This didn’t help at all, I felt like such a failure. I went to the doctor and was put on medication for the depression. It helped in some ways, but the bond was still missing… After two months I felt like I would lose my mind if I stayed at home any longer, so I started my new job – worst mistake ever. Not only was I not ready emotionally, but physically as well. I missed a lot of days at work due to either being sick or having really bad depression. After six months I resigned and started working at a different company doing kids clothing. I was doing really well and it lifted my spirits for a short while, but I still did not have my bond with my daughter. It took some serious soul searching and long, deep contemplation for me to finally realize that this was my baby, my little girl, she did not die, she made it… we made it and she is here and I don’t have to worry about losing her. I actually only realized that I didn’t fall in love-at-first-sight with my baby about a year later, when I was feeling that kind of love that made my heart feel like it might burst. I finally felt the bond between us starting to grow. I could feel the roots of this love and unbreakable bond working their way into me as I kissed her padded cheeks and watched her while she slept. By the age of two it was undeniable and got stronger every day… now at the age of almost four, she is my life… my everything, my existence. I have never felt a deeper love or a stronger bond than I do with my daughter. I think the insane after-pregnancy hormone cocktail actually made the love I was supposed to feel for my daughter attach itself to my husband. I had never loved him more intensely than in those first days when we came home from the hospital as a family, as I watched him hold our sleeping daughter on his chest, as I watched him, too, fall gradually in love with our child. In retrospect it is clear that hitting the “pinnacle of pinnacles” after the birth of your child is actually really hard for some moms. Whether you have experienced a surgical birth or a non-surgical birth – your body has just experienced a trauma. I know everyone insists childbirth is “the most natural thing in the world”, but guess what? It can also be incredibly disarming and scary, especially if you are on an operating table, awake, while someone is pulling a human from your body – I’ve heard having one emerge from your vagina is also not the most relaxing thing in the world. So don’t worry, rest assured in knowing that the day will come where you love your child so much it hurts. You are NOT a bad mom, you are human. You are

January 27, 2015

The Artificial Road To A Miracle Baby – An Inspiring Journey

I heard about Kerry and Michelle’s story through a mutual friend. Something about their story broke my heart and warmed it at the same time. I think sometimes we take for granted how easy the road to pregnancy for some of us are, without sparing a thought for those around us who might not be so lucky. Kerry and Michelle are a wonderful couple from Cape Town going through a journey of a lifetime and I hope we can all spare them a thought and send amazing positive vibes their way. I find their strength and positivity so inspiring. This is their story as told by Kerry… In September 2013 we decided that we would start trying for our first baby. We got started right away deciding that Kerry would be the one to carry the baby and we would find an anonymous donor at the Cape Fertility Clinic. We started off with saving for the procedure and taking all of the required vitamins, healthy dieting and no drinking or smoking to get Kerry’s body in tip top shape. We managed to get our first appointment with Dr Heylen at the Cape Fertility Clinic in late January 2014 after being bumped up the waiting list. The initial check up was perfect and we were all set for our first Artificial Insemination (AI) in early February. Unfortunately for the first time in her life, probably due to a lot of stress (we had a car accident that week), Kerry did not ovulate and the procedure was cancelled. We started on Clomid which could only be found at Wynberg Pharmacy. It made Kerry very moody and caused terrible hot flushes- we were optimistic that all would go well the second time around. After four failed inseminations – all with two to three beautiful follicles and a perfect uterus lining, Dr Heylenwas not happy and suggested surgery to see what was happening… The surgery (Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy) was scheduled at Kingsbury Hospital in June 2014. Dr Heylen is one of the very best fertility surgeons in Cape Town and he assured us that any problems he found, he would be able to fix and we would have our baby. He made us feel very confident… Unfortunately we found that Kerry’s Fallopian tubes were completely closed at the base. It was very likely that she was born with this, as there was no damage at all. This is something neither Dr Heylen or his staff had ever seen. It was pointless to fix and our best option would be IVF. We did an follow-up Hysteroscopy to see how severe the blockage was and where exactly it was located. This showed that there was 0% possibility of natural conception as all of the contrast fell out and nothing went into the Fallopian tubes. At this point we had put in about six months, R36 000 and many emotions – still no good news. We were understandably very desperate at this stage. The IVF journey was not easy at all, we completely understand why Dr Heylen started us off on AI. The procedure cost about R42 000 and was a very painful and time-consuming process. It consisted of three painful and complicated injections daily, many vaginal scans checking the follicle growth and an extremely painful egg retrieval procedure (by far the worst part as it was very painful and Kerry could only take Panado). The egg retrieval went very well and we retrieved eight perfect eggs, seven fertilized and made it to a perfect five-day embryo. On day five we put back two of the perfect five-day embryos with the hopes of a twin or singleton pregnancy. The procedure was perfect and Dr Heylen confirmed that at most we would have was twins, but more likely a singleton. We asked what the odds of having triplets were with the two embryos and he said it was literally none, he had never seen it in the decades he has been a fertility doctor and the odds were radically against this ever happening. The two week wait began again… This time slightly shortened as we were already five days in. On 27 July 2014 we did a sneaky home pregnancy test two days early, we promised we wouldn’t as we have done so many and each time we have been utterly devastated- but this time we came back with a positive result! We were over the moon, but still nervous in case it was a chemical pregnancy. On 29 July 2014 we did the blood test and got a BHCG of 167, quite high for this stage and from here we were already suspecting that we were going to have twins. The follow up test on 1 October 2014 gave us a result of 654, which was again quite high and showed all was going well. All we had to do now was wait for the first scan at 5-6 weeks. The 2-week wait was agonizing as we couldn’t wait to see our baby and confirm if it was twins or not. This was also quite an adjustment period for us as we had expected some morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms but not to such an severe extent. Kerry was sick every morning and evening and nauseous all day. She was losing weight rather than gaining and her belly and breasts were growing rapidly. The 6-week scan finally came and we got the extremely wonderful news that we were indeed expecting twins! Everything looked perfect – size, heartbeats and placement… we were so excited! We had confirmation that there were just two fetuses and everything was perfect as there was no chance they could split now. Another long three week wait for the final follow up scan with Dr Heylen at nine weeks was too much to handle and Michelle moved the appointment from Monday 6 October to Friday 3 October. It was at this appointment that everything changed and the pregnancy went from happy and exiting to absolutely terrifying. Dr Heylen told us that one of the embryo’s must have split shortly after implantation and as they are so small it was missed on the first scan. We now had triplets, two identical (Monochorionic-Diamniotic) and one fraternal. There was a brief moment of excitement where we were thinking ‘Wow! we have three babies!!’ but that was over as soon as Dr Heylen started talking. He explained that identical Monochorionic-Diamniotic twins by themselves is very complicated and dangerous as they share a placenta and they can get a condition called Twin To Twin Transfer Syndrome. This is

January 13, 2015

Circumcision

When we found out that we were expecting a boy, my husband acted as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had an intense fear of raising a teenage girl who would PMS and end up liking and dating… boys! I have a sister and many female cousins, so there is no denying that my knowledge of boys and what to expect when you’re raising one is lacking. One of the most challenging decisions that I have had to make, as a mom of a boy, was whether to make the cut –circumcision. I am all about creating community and have found that when it comes to teething, rashes, and fevers, you will find an abundance of moms sharing their stories and experiences. But when I had to come to terms with circumcising my 10 day old son, there is all the complicated, medical information available but no real-life stories. It puzzles me that in this day and age, we still hide over a trivial word like “penis” and “vagina”. There is a list of reasons why circumcision is considered, they range from religion, cultural beliefs and hygiene. Some articles suggest that daddy and baby should look the same to avoid confusion, in the nearby inquisitive years. My husband’s argument was that he’d feel more comfortable having it done, as he wouldn’t even know where to begin when it came to cleaning an un-circumcised penis, that he worried about our son being confused in locker rooms or worse, teased. I suggested that we wait until he was older but after speaking with an adult, who was forced to have it done in his adulthood, he mentioned how painful it was and how much more complicated the procedure could become. You are probably wondering why I would be discussing circumcision with other men, but I wanted to know, is this as important as my husband was making it out to be. Turns out, it is! There are several emotions that I experienced going through this process. I was filled with anxiety that tethered to the insides of my stomach. I couldn’t quite picture handing my son over to someone, who’s intention was to take a blade to his penis. I set to Google who didn’t soften the punch when explaining the procedure. Anger settled in, when I tried discussing my concerns with my husband who wouldn’t hear the other end of it. I was so livid that he was all for handing over my baby, it just made no sense that he could be okay with this! Sadness was closely followed by acceptance when I realized that this is happening, that the following day, I would walk into a hospital where I would pass my son over to a stranger, who I would need to trust. On the day, I was greeted by very friendly nurses who took my son from me, they undressed him and put a numbing cream on him. The doctor took time in explaining what would happen in each step of the procedure. He didn’t laugh at my insecurities when I asked him how many circumcisions he had done, or would my son really be grateful in the future? After everything was explained, I signed the documentation and went for coffee, while we waited for the cream and Ponado to settle in. We went back, handed Axl over and left the room. He encouraged that we go for coffee and return in 20 minutes. We did so. I expected to return to an upset baby who would just want boob and the comfort of his mom’s arms, but instead, I returned to a sleeping baby being cradled by a nurse. The doctor explained that there would be blood in his next nappy change, and that there would be a yellow bandage that should stay on for a few days but that he’d see us in a week, and if it still hadn’t fallen off, he’d remove it. We weren’t to bath him, but needed to keep him clean. I had complete heart failure for the first nappy change. The sight of blood coming from my baby was all too much, and surely something had to be wrong!? The doctor had given me his private cell number, but I felt pretty lame calling him – as it is, I had quizzed him with a half dozen unmentionable questions, that still make my cheeks flush. On day 6, his bandage came off and even though the doctor had told me to expect it. I called my husband in panic, explaining that his penis looked “weird” and pinkish. It was expected that it would be pinkish, but I didn’t really know what to expect it to look like. Remember, I was brought up with girls! We put Vaseline on, after every nappy change, to stop the nappy from sticking, and continued for about 2 weeks after the procedure, to ensure everything was healed. I remember for our 1 week check-up, the doctor said my son has such a good looking penis. I mean, what is that even? What makes a penis good looking, doctor? Remember the emotional rollercoaster that I mentioned, earlier? Turns out that it continues. I am both humoured by my journey and how I reacted, but more so, grateful! I am glad that my husband asked for our son to be circumcised, and I am sure my son will be too. At the end of the day, it is done and will never be a concern in the future whether he is being clean about his habits, or whether he has infections that can lead to more serious issues. I wish that more moms would share their stories, to help comfort and support other moms. Circumcision is a big decision to make, especially when you’re sleep-deprived and new to motherhood, with very little knowledge on the male anatomy. It is scary that you only have 8-14 days after birth, to make that

January 12, 2015

Pregnancy Brain… It’s A Real Thing

Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or growing an entire human being that’s distracting you. Maybe it’s the hormones driving you crazy or maybe you really are losing your mind. Whatever it is, it’s your first actual taste of what it might be like to be senile. Pregnancy brain is not a medically proven phenomenon, but anyone who has ever been pregnant or lived with a pregnant woman knows it’s very, very real. Here are some of my pregnancy brain moments…so far: The time I locked Mikayla and myself out of the house on a cold evening…This was just after I took my pregnancy test, luckily I forgot to lock my car as well so we stayed in there to keep warm until Cole came home! When he arrived he asked me how I managed to do it and I told him I had pregnancy brain… Biggest goofball smile on his face I have ever seen! Cool pregnancy announcement huh? The time I wore two different shoes to my doctor’s appointment…Getting dressed should be like second nature…right? I mean… it is fairly easy, I pretty much dress other people for a living. I was feeling pretty well rested, I got dressed and off to my gynea appointment I went to check on my 22week baby bump. We did a scan, had a chat and off I went… As I am standing at the counter to pay for my visit I happen to look down at my feet… and I am wearing two different pairs of shoes. The time I left my car keys in the ignition, in my unlocked car for a whole day… In South Africa… I arrived at work and pulled into the parking lot. Nine hours later I get ready to leave when all of a sudden I notice my car keys are missing. A couple of my colleagues and I searched the office from top to bottom with no luck. I was pretty much in tears and hoping that I wouldn’t have to call my husband to drive 45 minutes in traffic with our toddler in tow, so I retraced my steps instead which leads me right back to my car where I find my keys in the ignition – all the doors unlocked. I can honestly say that it was a first for me. The time I forgot Mikayla in the naughty corner… Mikayla was having one hell of a tantrum over something ridiculous– I can’t even remember what it was about, but she did something naughty and I sent her to the naughty corner in the dining room. I carried on making supper, chatting to hubby and dishing up. In the back of my mind I noticed she was very quiet, but I guess I was preoccupied. I was just about to call her as I was taking our dinner through to the dinner table when she suddenly moved in the corner and pretty much gave me a heart attack! “Mommy can I come out now?” … She stood still in that corner without making a sound for close to an hour. Worst mother ever. I haven’t sent her to the naughty corner since. The time I searched and searched for my phone… and was so upset because I NEED my phone (I am addicted). Upset and crying out of frustration, I called my husband to tell him I lost my phone. What do you think I phoned him with? My phone that I had in my hand the whole time? Yeah. I also franticly search around the room for my phone while I am on the phone… this happens more often than I care to admit. Every single day, morning routine …where is my phone, wallet and keys? Look on the entrance table, look through my bag, find my keys – place them on the table. Look for my wallet, it’s in my handbag. Where is my phone? Look in my bag, look in the bedroom, and look in the bathroom – nowhere to be found. Cole phones it and it rings in my handbag. Take my handbag, leave the house, get to the car – where are my keys? Scratch through the handbag, go back into the house… on the table where I left it. Back to the car, I have my keys and I have my wallet… where is my phone? Scratch through the bag once, nothing… find it the second time, yay me! Every, single morning! P.S… that is why I am always late. The time I used toothpaste as make-up remover…I somehow managed to take a cotton ball, reach for the toothpaste instead of make-up remover, watch myself squirt toothpaste onto said cotton ball and wipe it on my face. Thank goodness I did not start with my eyes…. The day I forgot to put panties on Mikayla… this happens to be the same day that she had to have her Tonsillectomy/Adenoidectomy and wear an open-back gown. Once again… worst mother ever. Luckily Cole rushed home to get her a pair! What would I do without this man… The day I poured orange juice on my cereal instead of milk… it didn’t taste that bad, actually. The time I forgot how to drive home and ended up at my old office instead… I left work early so that I could get home early. Ironic. I could not remember how to get home, took the wrong turn-off and ended up going all the way back into town. By the time I realized what I was doing I was at my old office in Gardens and had to sit in the back end of traffic to get out of town and on my way home. What would have been a 15 minute trip ended up being about 2 hours. The day I forgot to wear a bra to work… do I even need to go into detail on this one? The day I was stuck at what seemed to be the longest red light of my life… cars behind me started hooting, so naturally I rolled my window down and started screaming how

January 7, 2015

My Issues With Maternity Leave In South Africa

I have one month left at work until I have to go on maternity leave, I say have to because apparently I do not have a choice in the matter. Let me explain – like most of the companies in the fashion industry the company I work for has a shut-down period from 19 December 2014 until about 14 January 2015 in which we all have to take our annual leave that we have built up throughout the year, my plan was to work up until the last day when we would all break up (I would be 38 weeks pregnant). To me this meant more time with my baby after birth. I was however informed that, by law, I have to go on maternity leave at 36 weeks, that’s an entire month before my due date and means that I have only three months maternity leave left after my baby is born. The maternity leave issue has been bugging me for a while now. According to the Basic Employment Act, mothers are entitled to four consecutive months of maternity leave – first off, even if your maternity leave only kicks in after the birth of your baby, four months is not nearly enough time to bond with a newborn. Secondly, I am one of the many unlucky women who will not be receiving a salary from my company during this time. Luckily our baby was planned and we have been fortunate enough to make provisions, but it is still going to be a major financial setback for us. Many women cannot afford to not receive a salary for that amount of time and are thus forced to go back to work earlier. You can claim from UIF, but the amount you receive is nothing short of a joke… at least it is better than nothing I suppose. I have asked the opinions of a couple of South Africans through various social media network platforms as well as forums – most of the feedback is pretty much on par with how I feel, but some of the comments just blew my mind. According to Economist Dawie Roodt – longer maternity leave is not an option for South Africa. “The current duration is far too much already. When the politicians start to force the employer to keep a position open for a longer period for an employee, they are essentially penalizing and taxing the employer,” – I wonder if Mr Roodt has children, or how long his wife took maternity leave (if she works at all). He then went on to make the following statement – “When UIF is being paid out for a longer period, it means someone else is paying for you to be on maternity leave.” Okay, I understand, but I am paying for someone in Pollsmoore Prison to receive a meal and a bed every night for killing/raping/murdering/stealing or whatever. I am also paying for my president to build lavish homes(Nklandla) and for his wives to go on insane designer shopping sprees. I am paying towards a government that is crumbling and that has become a source of comic relief to us. Surely, paying me UIF is a small price to pay compared to all the money we fork out that seems to disappear into thin air. A senior policy consultant at the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Pietman Roos, said if maternity leave was extended, employing women would be seen as a risk to companies. “It’s a cost factor. It would ultimately affect the chances of getting a job for all women,” he said. I’m sorry, does that not constitute as discrimination?? Why are we being punished for having babies? Many women referred to the Pick n Pay model which allows eleven months of maternity leave, nine of which are paid. The retailer gives fathers eight days’ paternity leave, even though labour legislation does not make specific allowance for leave for new fathers. If the mother and father both work at Pick n Pay, they can share the maternity leave. That is amazing – why did I not go work for them?? Makro is not far behind, offering employers nine months paid maternity leave. South Africa abides by the ILO Convention 183, which states that a woman is entitled to maternity leave of no less than 14 weeks, but the country has not taken up a recommendation to extend maternity leave to at least 18 weeks. Sweden is the most generous when it comes to parental leave – mothers and fathers can share 16 months at home with their baby. At least we are not in Tunisia, which offers the shortest maternity leave of just one month. In short: Issue #1: Four Months Is Not Enough Time Four months is not nearly enough time with your new baby, and it is definitely not enough time for your body to heal. It took about 2-years for my body to get back to normal after I had our daughter – I am not at all saying we need two years maternity leave, but you can imagine how much strain it will put on your body going back to work after just three/four months. Most moms suggested that six months would be sufficient time for them while others brought up the models of Canada and Sweden which allows parents to take up to a year maternity leave to be split between parents as they see fit. You also get those superhuman beings like Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo who went back to work only two weeks after giving birth to her first child, but I am not going to give my personal opinion on that one. I feel like after four months you are just getting used to being a mom, and then you have to leave your baby and go to work… it is quite cruel. Needless to say, this becomes more tricky if you have a premature baby or if your baby is seriously ill. Issue #2: Breast Is Best? Our country goes above and beyond to promote breastfeeding for as long as possible and mothers are shamed and looked down upon for turning

December 15, 2014

I Am Not Fat… I’m Pregnant. 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

“Wow, you are getting HUGE!” “Oh, are you sure you’re not having twins?” “You’re only 24 weeks pregnant? How much bigger can you get?” “For someone who pretty much only eats salad you sure are gaining a lot of weight” “You look like you’re about to pop any minute!” …no… I still have about 15 weeks to go… These are some of the comments I get on a daily basis at work… from +/- 80 staff members… every…single…day. My husband doesn’t get why it upsets me so much, you’re pregnant, right? Maybe he’s right, maybe it’s the hormones.. but it’s the words that are used and the intention behind them that bothers me. Am I the only one having this problem? I am very aware of how pregnant I am, and I am not stupid… I know I’m getting fat. I was also not the skinniest person going into this pregnancy, but you already have to deal with stretch marks, being uncomfortable, itchy skin, swollen boobs, pimples and not knowing what to wear not to mention growing a human being for crying out loud. I guess I am mostly angry because I’ve been feeling so good.. My first pregnancy was a NIGHTMARE. You know that beautiful, glowing woman on the cover of a magazine looking lovingly at her perfectly tanned, perfectly round baby bump? That was not me. At all. This time around, however, I feel really good. Or at least I did. I am much bigger than when I was pregnant with my daughter and in the past 24 weeks I have gained about 10 kg’s. I also have a massive amount of water retention in my legs which makes them look like tree stumps and my hair and skin is an absolute mess. Am I being used as some totem of self-hatred, are they fascinated with my weight gain as a way of feeling better or worse about themselves? Is this what society has become? When women transform into the bloated, beautiful beasts we become during pregnancy, we are all of a sudden open to public comments — and everyone is a critic. Although we realize that we are selflessly giving our bodies for the creation of a new life and all that, it seems that the general public does not remember that there’s still a real woman in there, behind the baby – a real woman with real feelings about her body. At 24 weeks pregnant with my second child I would like to believe I’ve finally gained some perspective and a thicker skin about the surprising and insensitive things that people say to woman in one of her most fragile times. In my bid to educate society and hopefully prevent even just one other mamma-to-be feel the way I was feeling, here is 10 things you should NEVER do or say to a pregnant woman: 1.”Was it planned?” (Translation:Do you have sex regularly? Were you using birth control? Do you have a basic understanding of the human reproductive system? Or were you just being irresponsible?) Does it really matter whether someone was taking ovulation tests, having sexy time with their husband and then elevating their pelvis or whether they got drunk & screwed their boyfriend in the bathroom of a dodgy club? It really doesn’t at this point, and it’s none of your business. 2. “Are you sure there is just one baby in there?” (Translation: You are fat) I am sure that my gynecologist who has been a specialist in her field for the past 15 years can read an ultrasound properly, you idiot. 3. “Wow, you are getting HUGE.” (Translation: You are really fat) Thank you, I didn’t notice. I thought I was just pregnant. 4. “You are having your second baby? But you are so young…” (Translation: You child, you don’t know what you are doing) And you are so old. 5. “You are calling him/her what? I don’t that name, I think you should call him/her…” (Translation: You have bad taste) Oh okay, then I won’t name it that. Nobody cares that a girl named Angela took your chocolate chip cookie in grade two so don’t lift up the tarp covering your mental baggage. No-one asked you… please keep your opinion to yourself. Even if you are asked, lie. 6. Sushi. (Translation: I want to make you cry.) Don’t even think about it in my presence. 7. Unauthorized belly rubs! (Translation: I do not care about your personal space) When did this become okay?? Hands off the belly! 8. “Should you really be eating that? “ (Translation: You obviously do not have your child’s best interest at heart) You are very…very brave… 9. “Why are you having a C-section? You will miss out on the beautiful bonding experience of natural birth.” (Translation: You are going to be a bad mother) First of all, not all of us have a choice. My first baby was delivered via emergency C-section and therefore my doctor has decided that the safest way forward will be to deliver my second by C-section as well. Secondly, who are you to judge? There are multiple benefits to both C-sections as well as Natural birth…and once again, it has absolutely nothing to do with you whether I am going to have a stretched vagina or an ugly scar. Please mind your own business. 10. “Sleep now because you won’t get any when the baby gets here.” (Translation: Your life is over.) What the hell does this mean anyway? It’s not like you can bank sleep. It’s like saying “Don’t eat this year because an all-you-can-eat-buffet is opening up next March”. Plus, who says that the woman you’re saying this to is sleeping now? She may be a congested ball of heartburn, hemorrhoids and back pain so this kind of thing just adds insult to injury. The next time you see a pregnant woman, unless you are going to tell her how beautiful she looks, just keep your mouth shut. She doesn’t need to hear what you think about her size, her looks, her baby’s name, etc. You may think you’re witty but I can guarantee she does not.

December 12, 2014

The Dummy Mummy

So is a pacifier good or bad? My answer to this is it depends. Let’s start with the good…. Dummies have the wonderful ability to help trigger the sucking reflex in children and can also (according to Dr. Harvey Karb) help them access their calming reflex. It also gives breastfeeding mothers a wonderful rest from their children who seem to constantly want to suck on their tired and worn out breasts for comfort. “Contrary to popular belief, there are some positive effects that result from sucking on pacifiers,” says Jane Soxman, DDS, author of a pacifier study and Diplomate of the American Board of Paediatric Dentistry. “One, is that they assist in reducing the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Babies who are offered a pacifier do not sleep as deeply as those who sleep without a pacifier. Pacifier sucking makes it possible for the infant to be aroused from a deep sleep that could result in the stopping of breathing. Pacifiers also increase sucking satisfaction and provide a source of comfort to infants.” (Read more about this here) Now the bad…. The problem is that dummies are so very often overused by parents. Instead of the dummy becoming a “last resort” type of tool, moms use it for EVERYTHING. Baby says ah: dummy; baby says ooh: dummy; baby doesn’t say ANYTHING: dummy. If a parent continues to offer a baby or child a dummy without first establishing why the baby is crying, it can also cause a parent to misread a hunger cue or to fail to recognise his/her child’s needs at all. The World Health Organisation (WHO) does not recommend the use of dummies in breastfeeding infants (Australian National Breastfeeding Strategy 2010-2015) as research has found a relation between dummy use and babies not being breastfed for as long as those who were not introduced to a dummy. And unfortunately, the ugly…. When it comes to sleep, we have worked with a countless cases where a dummy has become a child’s sleep crutch or prop. The problem is that when a child transitions between sleep cycles at night, he/she would want the same “environment” as when they initially fell asleep. If a baby fell asleep with his/her dummy in the mouth and it has fallen out during the night, the baby wakes up mom or dad to help find it and put it back. The result is that parents are on dummy drill, and babies do not receive restorative and consolidated sleep. The following can also occur with the overuse of the dummy: Prolonged pacifier use and thumb sucking can cause problems with the proper growth of the mouth, alignment of the teeth and changes in the shape of the roof of the mouth. There is also an association between pacifier use and acute middle ear infections (Read more here). When used past the age of 12 months, dummies have been linked to speech problems in some children who may not have enough opportunity to babble and enunciate when younger and who talk with their dummies in their mouth as they get older. Using a dummy affects the development and indentations in the palate. Please remember: safety first: If you are going to use a dummy, use it correctly: The pacifier should be used when placing the infant down for sleep and not be reinserted once the infant falls asleep. Pacifiers should not be coated in any sweet solution. Pacifiers should be cleaned often and replaced regularly. For breastfed infants, delay pacifier introduction until 1 month of age to ensure that breastfeeding is firmly established. Pacifiers should never be used to replace or delay meals and should be offered only when the caregiver is certain the child is not hungry. Pacifiers should have ventilation holes and a shield wider than the child’s mouth (at least ¼ inches in diameter). Pacifiers should be one piece and made of a durable material, and should be replaced when worn, and never tied by a string to the crib or around a child’s neck or hand (Source). Different schools of thought: The “Teach Him To Get It Himself” Crowd The problem with teaching a child to put the dummy back in his mouth is that it won’t happen until at least 9 months. So you will have interrupted sleep (as well as your child) until your child reaches this age. There are certain groups that say, that even when you do teach your child to put it back in his mouth he is STILL getting interrupted sleep because he is looking for the dummy at night. The “It Helps For Reflux” Crowd Dummies are also known to help if a child has reflux. Some babies with reflux do not have a problem with food refusal; they eat and eat and eat. These babies find nursing to be soothing because each sip of milk washes down some acid from reflux. The problem may be that they continue to nurse long past the time they need to fill their tummies. They nurse to the point that they seem to vomit every time they eat. If this description fits your baby, pacifier use may be a help. If the pacifier is given when the baby is not nursing for food (sucking slowly and less frequently, with minimal swallowing), it may be soothing to him and also provide a relief to you. The careful use of a pacifier may help your baby keep from overfilling his tummy and subsequently vomiting (Source). Sucking on a pacifier can increase saliva production, which as an alkaline that helps neutralize some of the acid that may come up. To read more about pacifier use for children with Reflux click here. The “I Don’t Want My Child To Suck His Thumb” Crowd For babies, sucking on thumbs and fingers is a natural and intuitive process. Celebrate that they have the ability to self soothe and that they will be better sleepers as a result. Some parents have reported that

December 8, 2014

The Birth of a Baby – What No One Really Tells You

When I first discovered that I was pregnant I went through the usual emotional reactions; excitement, fear, wonder, elation and dread. As with everyone first time mother who waited so long to fall pregnant I was obviously thankful and excited about the new journey I was about to embark. However, every positive thought is coupled with some very negative ones: What if I miscarry again? What if there is something wrong with the baby? What the hell am I doing? How am I going to get it out? I, like most pregnant women, had a very definite idea in my head of how I was going to give birth. I decided quite early on that I wanted to have a natural birth without any drugs. In fact, my first appointment with my doctor sparked off my seven month long investigation in how to have the prefect natural birth as my doctor (unlike many out there) was pro-natural. Each month I arrived at my check-up with a list of questions for my doctor as I had taken to reading as much literature as possible to ensure a smooth birth. Here are some of the “facts” : Exercise during your pregnancy. If you keep fit, you will not only stay healthy but it will make labour and birth much easier. I was running and road cycling before I feel pregnant and kept going with light spinning, 5km run/walks and water aerobics right through to 40 weeks. Just remember to not overdo it and don’t take suddenly go balls to the walls if you didn’t exercise before pregnancy Eat well. Maintaining a healthy diet is not only important to have a healthy baby, but it will help you keep off those extra kilos that you really don’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I still had a good supply of choccies on hand but I balanced it out with some decent food. As a result, I put on a smaller amount of weight compared to some of my counterparts Have a well-defined birth plan. I knew what I wanted and I ensured that my birthing team knew, too. Which leads me to my next point Surround yourself with a good birthing team. My hubby and I were on the same page. He knew my doctor and the two of them had a great relationship. We also chose to have a doula as part of our team. She provided support and wonderful massages prior to the birth and was there to support us when labour started right through to post-birth My doctor and I were on the same page but she always did mention that I should be open to the possibility of a C-section just in case. I did just that and sat through the C-section part of our ante-natal classes with minimum interest, but interest nonetheless. At this point I should mention why I didn’t want a C-section: I heard the recovery period is long and painful You have to rely on other people to drive you around for six weeks You have an unsightly scar You will always have belly afterwards due to weakened stomach muscles You have to have an epidural This last point was my biggest concern as I am not really a needle person at the best of times and seeing the C-section videos in the ante-natal class did not help my fears. I was even more determined to go au natural. As the weeks ticked by, everything was going smoothly. At around 32 weeks, the baby had turned and remained head down for the rest of my pregnancy. She was weighing in on the larger side but healthy and we were well on our way to the perfect birth. At 40 weeks (and in the height of a scorching Jozi Summer) I was given the news that this baby is BIG and also very comfortable in my belly. My doctor estimate that she was already 4.3kg and she was in no rush to “drop”, my cervix was also nowhere near ripening so natural birth was starting to look unrealistic. The doctor’s concerns were the size of the baby so she really didn’t want me going too far over my due date and that my blood pressure was started to rise. I still think that was due to the heat and the fact that she just mentioned C-section to me! We were then asked to pick a date during the course of the next week for the birth of our child. My doctor ensured us that she would do everything in her power to force a natural birth but we needed to be prepared. I gave myself exactly a week to do EVERYTHING within my power to get this kid out! My first call was to our faithful doula who rushed over and started with all her doula magic to get the kid to drop and come out: Essential oil cotton balls between my boobs Reflexology, the kind they tell you to avoid in case it induces contractions Spicy foods Long walks Chiropractic pelvic alignment Sex – ok my hubby helped with this one but it wasn’t pretty Nothing worked, this kid was comfortable. A week later, I went to the hospital with my labour bag, birthing ball, cooler-box, tens machine, hypo-birthing tracks, baby bag, hospital bag and daddy bag. My doctor checked my cervix which was still rock-hard and bless her heart she was still going induce me so I could feel labour. I declined. Instead of hours of painful and fruitless labour, I opted for the C-section. It was smooth, not nearly as frightening as I thought and quick. I had a beautiful, healthy baby girl weighing in at a whopping 3.85kgs. All my fears were forgotten and everything was as it should be. My advice to you is this: stop focusing on the birth, it will not go according to plan no matter how hard you try. If you have a great team of medical

December 5, 2014

Spit, snot and poo. Overcoming your fears

Let’s be honest. All babies do it and we knew for a fact that as dads we would have to deal with it sooner or later. And if you were anything like me, the mere thought of having to deal with any of these would have sent me running for the nearest hazmat suit to keep me protected. But once you actually hold the little bundle of joy in your hands, you come to the realisation that there is not a thing in this world that you would not do for your baby. And that’s when you man up and handle anything that gets thrown at you. Or leaks out. Or maybe even projectile vomited at you. So why is it that the things that some of us fear the most from babies are the things that are natural for them? Maybe if we knew a more, we would fear less. The never ending fountain of spit. This wondrous wonder comes in two different forms and from two different places. Clear saliva (drool) comes from the mouth while spit (whitish in colour and usually happens during or after feeding) comes from the tummy. Excessive drool usually is a sign of teething i.e. teeth pushing up through the gum. Drool also helps babies develop and grow. The drool they swallow helps neutralise stomach acid, lines and soothes the oesophageal lining and helps digest solid food. Spitting up (or vomit) is usually a result of GER or gastroesophageal reflux. This happens because the muscles at the bottom of oesophagus which lets food into the stomach is weak and allows food to escape back up. Whichever one it is, always have spare sets of clothing nearby, a burp cloth and about a million bibs because you are going to be changing these all the time. Is it clear or green? The snot question. If your toddler has clear stuff coming out of their nose, everything should be fine and this could point to newborn congestion (all the gunk is just working its way out), allergies, exposed to the cold or smoke. If the discharge is greenish or yellowish, your little one could have a cold or the flu. Bleeding from the nose, unpleasant smelling gunk (no idea why I said “unpleasant” because that would imply you get “pleasant” smelling gunk) and pain could mean that your baby has managed to find something small and stashed it in a secret hiding place for later. It may be tricky to stop the flow, but knowing what’s causing it may help you in treating it. Various items such as nasal aspirators, rubber bulb syringes and saline solution may ease the congestion. I even read of one mum who placed her mouth over the baby’s nose and just sucked it out! And like everything else, if you are not sure or concerned, seek professional advice. The truth about baby poop. “Where’s does it all come from? She just pooped a minute ago! She pooped again WHILE I was changing her nappy! I don’t remember him eating that!” These are questions that all parents go through. Each baby is different and therefore all bodily functions will be different. While most babies poo everyday, it is also acceptable for babies to poo every three days. Babies who are fed on formula, poo less often than breast fed babies. The first few poos after baby is born are always almost black and sticky (called the meconium and sometimes require an entire packet of wet wipes to clean). The poo than becomes greenish brown and turns to bright mustard colour afterwards. Examining your babies nappy, and trust me you eventually will with a fine tooth comb, provides a wealth of information about their state of health. Overly runny stools may indicate diarrhoea and pellet like stools may indicate constipation. Red, black and white stools require an immediate consultation with you doctor as red poo usually contains blood in it, black poo usually contains digested blood and white poo indicates a problem with bile production. My suggestions for handling poo is DO NOT take a deep breath and just deal with it. Within a few weeks you will be an expert on diaper changing and even have a routine you will follow. I was a bit OCD about diaper changes and would lay out everything beforehand (wet wipes, cotton swabs, nappies, bum cream and plastic bag for the dirty nappy) like I was preparing an operating theatre. The last thing you would want is a case of explosive diarrhoea (oh yes, that is a real thing!) and only to find it is the last wet wipe in the packet. So… spit, snot and poo. Every parent eventually gets over their fears and deals with it. The person who may have once started off armed with a gas mask and a pair of braai thongs for a diaper change now finds themselves scarily comfortable discussing the colour and consistency of their baby’s poo. Your fears are overcome and anything that leaks, is projectile vomited or has the radioactive smell of a nuclear explosion will be caught with a wet wipe, tissue and in extreme cases even your bare hands. That is the strength of unconditional love and joy.

December 2, 2014

The Benefits Of Breastmilk For A Premature Baby

All babies will benefit tremendously from breastmilk. But, for a premature baby, these benefits are so much more important. No other nourishment can compare to breastmilk and your preemie will need all the nourishment he can get. Your breastmilk is tailor made for your baby and for this specific time. What this means is that the milk that you are producing right now is special ‘preemie milk’ formulated just for your premature baby. Preterm milk contains higher concentrations of fat, energy, protein, calcium, potassium, magnesium, sodium, chloride and iron. It is very different to the milk that a mother of a full term infant would be producing, No other milk can come close to what you are making and as your baby grows and develops, so your milk will change and develop too. Even though your baby may have come a little early, your body can and will continue to nurture and nourish him every step of the way. Whats in it? Immunoglobulins: Immunoglobulins are large protein molecules produced in the lymph tissue, these function as antibodies in the immune system. During the last trimester of pregnancy, immunoglobulins cross over the placenta and are stored by your baby. These are then used to protect a newborn against infections for up to 6 months following birth. Now while your prem baby may not benefit from this in utero, you can still provide him with immunoglobulins through breastmilk. Since premature babies are more susceptible to infections and disease, this is a very important benefit. Protein: Protein is vitally important for growth and development in your baby. Babies need protein in order to maintain, repair and make new cells. There are two types of proteins present in breastmilk – Casein (20-40%) and Whey (60-80%). The remarkable balance of these proteins is what makes breastmilk so easy to digest. This means that your baby is using less energy for digestion and is therefore able to use more energy for growth. Fat:Fat is an absolute necessity for your baby. Fats aid in brain development, absorption of fat-soluble vitamins and this is of course your baby’s primary source of calories. Long chain fatty acids are crucial for brain, retina and development of the nervous system. Carbohydrates:Lactose is the primary source of carbohydrate in human milk. Many make the mistake of assuming lactose is bad for the human body, when it is actually very important – especially for your preemie. Lactose helps to minimise the amount of unhealthy bacteria in the stomach which in turn improves the absorption of minerals such as calcium and magnesium. Lactose will also promote growth of healthy bacteria in your baby’s gut. Minerals: Sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron and zinc (to mention a few) are all present in breastmilk, the amazing thing is that breastmilk also contains facilitators for each of these minerals making absorption of minerals that much more efficient. Calcium: Builds strong bones, promotes healthy nerve and muscle function, helps blood clot, and helps the body convert food into energy. Iron: Important for healthy brain, cognitive and neurological development. Iron is also a key component of haemoglobin, a protein which helps red blood cells deliver oxygen from the lungs to tissues throughout the body. Magnesium:Keeps bones strong and the heart rhythm steady, supports the immune system, and helps maintain muscle and nerve function. Potassium: Works with sodium to control the body’s water balance, which helps maintain blood pressure. Assists with muscle function and heart rhythm and, in later years, may reduce the risk of kidney stones and osteoporosis. Zinc:Needed by more than 70 enzymes that aid digestion and metabolism, and essential for growth. In summary, breast milk is hugely beneficial for your preterm baby because of its unique protein structure, its ability to promote fat absorption, and its pattern of fatty acids that promote growth and development both physically and neurologically. Unlike any other milk. Some may argue that growth is slower for babies who are fed breastmilk than those who are fed artificial milk, however, this growth rate is generally extremely close to the rate that a child would continue to grow in utero. Now, while you are focusing on giving your baby the best of the best, you may not realise that you are doing exactly the same thing for yourself. Psychologically, moms who provide breastmilk for their babies feel more connected to them, bond better with them and feel more fulfilled in their role as a mother. You may not be unable to hold or even touch your baby for the time being, but you are still able to feed him. You are still able to provide him with the best possible nutrition, you are able to manufacture food for your child that no other human on earth can replicate. In this way, you are able to bond with your baby, in this way you are able to touch him and impact his life, in this way you are able to give him everything that he needs in this very moment. You are his mom and you are doing a fantastic job!

November 5, 2014

The Wonderful Journey Into Pregnancy – What a load of “beep”

I wouldn’t say I battled to fall pregnant but I didn’t exactly think it was easy. We went through the usual motions; I went off the pill in March and had a lot of fun “trying” over the next few months. In November, I had my routine annual check-up and my doctor gave me some blood work forms to be used if I wasn’t knocked up by March. The reason for this is because the WHO classifies you as infertile if you haven’t conceived in 12 months. TWELVE MONTHS?! I thought that to be a bit overdramatic! Nonetheless, I headed home with my forms and realized that this baby making business is just that, a business and a nasty one at that. I downloaded a Blackberry application that allowed me to input my cycle data and gave me an indication of my peak ovulation days. These days were highlighted green and became our guide to baby-making. It soon became a standing joke within our group friends that if we left a event early, they all claimed excitedly that it was a “green day”. In January, while at the GP for a strained ankle I found out that I was pregnant. Oh happy days! I immediately called my doctor and made an appointment for my very first scan, at 8 weeks. Unfortunately, I never got to keep that appointment as I miscarried at 7 weeks. There was no actual reason. It wasn’t anything I had done. Instead the baby had just stopped growing. I found out that more pregnancies end in miscarriage than I ever imagined, in fact some women don’t even know they are pregnant when they miscarry. It took me a week of tears, self-deprecation and chocolate, but I managed to pick myself back up. And so the baby-making adventure continued. It took two holidays, a resignation and a lot of beer but I was pregnant by the end of April and this time it stuck around. It all worked out in the end but it did take over a year to finally get everything going. And during that challenge I always found it extremely unfair that some of my close friends managed to have accidental pregnancies. Don’t get me wrong as I love those kiddies but I hated that nature made it so difficult for me to fall pregnant when I was trying so damn hard and my lovely friends just looked at their partners and conceived. I had an amazing pregnancy and birth in comparison to many people so maybe my troubles are in conception as opposed to having pregnancy quirks or nags. This fact is starting to ring true in the conception of number 2. In March of this year we made the decision to get cracking as our little girl was well out of her baby phase and well into toddler-hood. Add on 9 months and she would be the perfect big sister. This time round we started with the ovulation Blackberry app straight away and got to work. Each month, I religiously check dates, looked out for ovulation signs and went through the motions of making baby number two. It is now October and still nothing. This past week I bought an ovulation kit to determine if my “green days” really are optimal conception days and I failed all 5 tests that were in the kit. It would appear that my “green days” are complete fakes and that the past eight months have been for naught. I recently heard that the WHO considers you infertile if you aren’t pregnant after 6 months when you are trying for your second child. COME ON! I think it may be about time to dust those blood work forms off.

November 4, 2014

The Curse Of The Short Nap

I honestly do not know why we always tell moms: “Sleep when your baby sleeps”. I remember when my son was little; when he eventually fell asleep, that gave me enough time to race to the toilet, and hurriedly gulp down a cup of tea! I would mission off to my bedroom to “sleep because my baby is sleeping”, but it would take me ages to fall asleep, and then, when I finally managed to drift into a sweet slumber… he would wake up. All of this turmoil in only 45 minutes, only to start the cycle again!?!?! Sound familiar? Why is the 45 minute cycle the hallmark of a newborn’s sleep? 45 minutes is the sleep cycle for a newborn. Adults typically have a longer sleep cycle, stretching for approximately 90 minutes. At the end of each sleep cycle, a baby is in a very light sleep state and may even momentarily wake up before entering into a new cycle. This light sleep is where most of the problems arise. Interestingly enough, babies spend more time in REM sleep than adults – read more about it here. But what can we do to help our children sleep for longer? In order to encourage a longer nap you need to first ask yourself a very important question: Did my baby fall asleep in the same place she ended up? Most of the time the answer to this question is “no”. She fell asleep in my arms, and then I moved her to the crib. The tricky thing about this is that people don’t usually like to wake up somewhere different from the place they fell asleep. On some level our bodies know or sense the difference, therefore we wake up with a start, and this is often why babies cry! Here are a few tips for helping your child sleep longer: Make sure your baby is in the same place when she falls asleep as she is when she wakes up. This will help prevent her startle reflex, and ease the transition from one sleep cycle to the next. Let your baby is do most of the work of getting to sleep in the first place on her own. If you always feed her to sleep, then again, you can see why she may not like it when she gets to the end of the sleep cycle and there is no bottle or breast nearby. This will also cause a baby to wake up startled and then start crying. Play around with your baby’s awake time. Every baby has a window of opportunity for successful sleep. This means it’s a time when your child is already tired enough to be put down, but not overtired. Don’t forget that it is possible to put a baby down too early, which will mean that they won’t take a proper nap. If you have taken steps to encourage your baby to sleep soothe, and she is falling asleep in her crib, then congratulations because most of the battle has already been won. The good news is that with time and practice, he will have a much easier time getting from one sleep cycle to the next, and should start to sleep longer and longer for each nap over the course of two to three weeks.

October 27, 2014

True Or False: You Cannot Breastfeed and Sleep well?

A big resounding FALSE! I recently spoke to 11 beautiful women about teaching their children how to sleep well and I was astounded by how many of them believed that they could not teach their children how to sleep well if they had chosen to breastfeed. Breastfeeding and Good Sleep are not mutually exclusive. You can be successful at both! Breastfeeding and Sleeping: A fresh perspective: You can breastfeed and teach your children good sleeping habits as well. Breastfeeding your baby to sleep ALL the time will make your baby rely on feeding to fall sleep, resulting in them waking up more frequently at night. A baby might be able to drop night feeds (healthily) from as early as between 10 and 12 weeks. Even if you breastfeed, it is advisable that you do not co-sleep with your baby as it increases your baby’s risk of SIDS. Breastfeeding in public is one of the most controversial subjects in our society: Recently Facebook has come under fire for removing photos of mothers’ breastfeeding their children, citing offensive content in violation of the Facebook Terms of Service. Facebook claimed that these photos violated their decency code by showing an exposed breast, even when the baby covered the nipple. This action was described as hypocritical, since Facebook took several days to respond to calls to deactivate a paid advertisement for a dating service that used a photo of a topless model. Dads can make or break breastfeeding: Studies show that the more supportive partners are, the longer the mother is likely to continue. Supplementing or TOP-UP feeding will not make your baby sleep better (insert gasp here!). The amount of lactose in breast milk is not affected by the mother’s diet. This means the mother cannot influence the amount of lactose in her milk by reducing or eliminating dairy foods When it comes to sleep, nutrition plays a vital role in your child’s sleep habits. It isimperative to provide adequate feeding to your baby.

October 23, 2014

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS AND RISKS OF CO-SLEEPING

Parenting is fraught with tough, controversial decisions. What makes the decisions tough is that there are such varied opinions and every ‘expert’, mum and family member seems to have a very firm opinion on how you should raise your baby. Without question, one of the most highly charged discussions revolves around co-sleeping. Should you? Should you? These are questions you will be asking yourself. The benefits of co-sleeping There is evidence that babies who co-sleep breastfeed for longer than babies who don’t. This is probably due to the fact that these babies have more free access to their mum’s breast for night feeds. Sleep researcher, James McKenna believes that babies who co-sleep have better immunity, possibly due to the benefits from breastfeeding. Of course there is above all the convenience of sleeping with your small baby. Instead of getting up to check on your little one or to feed her, you can simply roll over to check on or feed her. Some research indicates that children who share sleep spaces with their parents experience emotional benefits such as security, emotional stability and are in the long run more likely to be well-adjusted. The risks of co-sleeping In recent years, co-sleeping has become recognised as a risk factor for cot death or SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). The American Association of Paediatrics recommends that parents do not co-sleep at all. An enormous amount of recent research points towards the risks of co-sleeping. Most of this research highlights where you co-sleep and the parent’s state whilst sleeping. Falling asleep on a sofa is very risky for the baby and has been conclusively linked to cot death. Likewise a parent who has had even one glass of wine or a painkiller should not co-sleep with their baby as suffocation is much more likely when a parent sleeps deeply while co-sleeping. Even removing these confounding factors, co-sleeping in a bed with your baby under 6 months of age does increase the risk of cot death (SIDS). The question is whether the risks outweigh the benefits and this is where the discussion on co-sleeping takes place. Co-sleeping safely If you are choosing to co-sleep, you can do so safely and be confident in deciding to do so, if you take the following into consideration: Your baby must sleep on her back. Do not have a pillow near your baby. Do not cover your baby with your duvet, or use an electric blanket or hot water bottle. Place your baby on the outside of the bed next to you, not between you and your partner. Have a sleep nest that creates a space for your baby in your bed. Do not co-sleep if your baby is exposed to cigarette smoke during the day. Do not drink alcohol or take any form of pain medication before bedtime. Managing co-sleeping with your newborn and young baby Co-sleeping with your newborn may feel like the most natural way to sleep. You can feed on demand through the night and don’t have to get up to feed or check on your little one. If you are on pain medication do not co-sleep with your newborn. The risk of suffocating your baby, rolling on her or increasing her body temperature with your body heat or blankets is increased. Making changes The safest place for your newborn to sleep is in a crib next to your bed or in a co-sleeper cot. At this age, your baby will find the transition to sleep in her own space easy. Moving your baby from your bed to her own sleep space becomes increasingly difficult after 6 months of age due to habits and expectations. Co-sleeping and toddlers While toddlers should sleep in their own space, strangely enough this is the time in which co-sleeping is most common. Making changes Since habits will become firmly entrenched at this age, now is the time to make the move. It is preferable to make the move to her own room before your baby is two years old, that is while your little one is still in a cot. Once in a bed, boundaries need to be instilled which raises another whole set of issues. If you need to in-still bed space boundaries, be firm and consistent. If you find the battle is too great, you can move to a halfway space – where your toddler has a sleep space next to your bed – a mattress on the floor is fine. At the end of the day, regardless of your baby’s age, you will need to make a call that you are comfortable with regarding sleep space and co-sleeping. Like all other parenting decisions – it’s a tough one and really there is no right or wrong – there’s what you do and don’t do.

October 21, 2014

Interesting Information About Your Infant

I was recently in the United States for 10 days to attend a Sleep Sense Conference. The content was phenomenal and REALLY has rekindled my passion for providing children and parents in South Africa the gift of a Good Night’s Sleep. However, I think what struck me even more than the content was how much I missed my beautiful dirty-handed, Barney-watching, bambino of 20 months. They certainly do possess such a huge part of our hearts, and I was just overcome with the sense of responsibility that a child is in our lives and how much of who we are, is centered on them. I always tell my clients that there is NOTHING I take more seriously than the responsibility of working with your child. I thought I would share some interesting facts I learned during the conference that you might never have heard of: The first three days of a baby’s life determines breastmilk supply going forward It is vital for your new-born baby to be breastfed as much as possible in the first three days, as new studies have proven that this will ensure a constant milk production in the future. It is suggested that parents leave the pacifier or dummy in the drawer for the first few days and try to enjoy the bond with their newborn. Paediatric Chiropracting can solve ear aches, constipation and even stuttering One of the world’s leading pediatric chiropractors shared amazing testimonies of what chiropractic treatments can achieve for you and your family. Zink might be the reason for your child’s picky eating It has been proven that sufficient amounts of zinc can actually improve and change our taste buds. A leading cause for children being picky eaters is insufficient amounts of zinc. Autistic children rule households An informative session with an Autism specialist explained the importance of being aware of the signs of autism. The earlier it is detected, the more effectively it can be treated with behaviour therapy. Autism also does not need to be the reason for your child to not sleep well. Boys sometimes need more help with sleep Boys’ and girls’ brains develop completely differently and for the sake of brevity, in simple terms girl’s brains develop front-to-back, and boys’ from back-to-front. When the structure of the brain is analysed, suddenly you can understand why boys often need a little more help to be taught how to sleep well.

October 7, 2014

Introducing A New Baby To The Family

We forget sometimes that wonderful events, like a new arrival in the family, can also be pretty stressful. If you look at the scale of life’s most stress-inducing events, the arrival of a new baby is up there with death in the family, divorce and losing a job. And often the one who feels this the most is the older sibling of the new arrival. So how can we help them to cope with this world-changing adaptation to their family? Accept that this is stressful event. We sometimes become so focused on the positives that we forget that there are downsides, and we forget to discuss these downsides with our existing child. The age of the child will determine what kind of discussion you have, but it can be helpful for a while before bringing up the subject of the new baby to discuss how in life all things have an up and a down side to them. Then when you bring up the topic it can be a continuation of this and you can ask your child to help you to figure out the ups and downs of having a new baby. Children cope better with all changes if they have some background information. Read them books and watch movies about families having a new baby. Discuss with them the reality of a new baby. We sometimes want to brush over this and just focus on how fun it will be for them to have a new playmate, forgetting that children process the world very literally – a child may assume that they will be able to play soccer or snakes and ladders or hopscotch with the new baby from day one and then become bitter and disappointed when confronted by the reality of a crying, sleeping blob! Take a look at your current situation and how your child is getting their needs met. We all need some certainty, variety, to know that we are significant and loved, to have growth and challenges and a sense of contribution. Once you know how they’re currently meeting these needs, look at which needs will be challenged when the new baby comes and start finding alternative ways to meet these needs beforehand. For example, if their need for love and attention is currently all being fulfilled by you and you know you will have to divide your attention, start having a grandparent or friend come round and spend extra time with them long before the baby is born so that this becomes an alternate source of love and attention that they are used to and happy with. Think about where your child will be when you go to have the birth. Will they stay with a grandparent or aunt or friend? Start making this a regular occurrence long before your due date so that they can become comfortable wit the arrangement and even have it as something they look forward to. Start implementing waiting times. There will be times with a new baby where your older child will have to wait for something while you are feeding or changing or putting the baby to sleep. Get them used to this beforehand. A realistic waiting time will differ depending on your child, but you can safely say that they can handle about one minute for every year of their age. Ask a one year old to wait a minute, a two year old to wait for two. Start doing this regularly when they ask for something or need your help so that they are used to this and don’t blame your lack of immediate attention on the baby. Once the baby arrives, make sure that you set aside special one-on-one time EVERY DAY with your older child. They will need some extra love and attention. Keep in mind that the baby does not know what it is like to be an only child and will not fuss if they don’t get your undivided attention – your older child will. And never say that you can’t do something because of the baby – find another reason. A very helpful exercise to do as a family is to all take turns saying what you do and don’t like about the new baby. This gives your child an opportunity to vent feelings in a safe and open way and reinforces your discussions on the good and bad in all things in life. It can help for parents to go first and to genuinely be open about things they don’t like (for example, dad may say that he doesn’t like the baby taking away all his time with mom) – this shows the child that it is ok to have negative feelings, that he/she is normal, and won’t get into trouble for feeling resentful or angry or unloved. Children who are given an opportunity to express their negativity are less likely to act it out in destructive ways. Getting used to a new sibling can be tough, and even if you implement all of these suggestions you may still find your child becoming angry, resentful, jealous, sullen and even regressing in behavior. Know that this is perfectly normal and be patient. Punishing a child for acting out on feelings they don’t know how to process or express only adds to the negativity. When in doubt, add some extra love and kindness. Good luck!

October 6, 2014

‘White Gold’ – Help Decrease Infant Mortality

In South Africa, one premature infant dies every 20 minutes. In the fight against this unnecessary loss of life, International Breastfeeding Week is calling on mothers to breastfeed their babies and donate breastmilk to help decreasing infant mortality and malnutrition. The South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR), currently the largest human-milk-banking partner of the South African Department of Health, warns that breastfeeding rates in South Africa are dangerously low with only 7,2% of South African women breastfeeding. These low rates result in the loss of the most vulnerable members of our society, including 20,000 babies under 1,8kg and 70,000 babies under 5kg annually. The International Baby Food Action Network (IBFAN) of Africa credits breastfeeding as the single biggest influence on decreasing infant mortality and malnutrition, especially in the least developed countries of Africa. Based on this core belief, SABR is urging mothers to breastfeed their own babies for at least the first six months of their lives, to ensure optimum growth and development. “We believe that breastfeeding, access to mothers-own-milk, donated breastmilk and education are the keys to unlocking infant survival”, says Stasha Jordan, breastfeeding activist and executive director at SABR. “We are calling on all mothers to donate breastmilk at local breastmilk-banks to ensure that the young lives that do not have access to their mothers’ breastmilk get the best chance of a healthy start to life. Not just during International Breastfeeding Week but on an ongoing basis. Whilst International Breast-feeding Week reminds us of the importance of ‘promoting, protecting and supporting breast-feeding’ we should live every day to ’empower inspire and counsel’ mothers and communities in breastfeeding and ‘baby-friendly’ care for the most vulnerable. Educating mothers living in poverty and with HIV and AIDS about safe infant feeding practices is also a key focus for the SABR, to ultimately avoid vertical transmission (from mother to baby) of HIV and AIDS. “We invite mothers with babies to visit our milk-banks across the country to learn more about home-methods for heat treatment of breastmilk and through this, promote food security in a continent where poverty and malnutrition are rampant,” says Jordan. In the previous financial year, the SABR had 889 donors and supplied breastmilk to 1295 infants, which contributed to saving an average of 5,000 premature infants from infection and mortality associated with lack of breastfeeding, since its inception in 2003. “Health care professionals and mothers are becoming increasingly sensitised to the importance of the use of breastmilk in perinatal care, which is in turn increasing the need for more breastmilk-banks across the country,” says Jordan. In realising the value this ‘white gold’ holds, the SABR, in partnership with the Free State Department of Health, has recently expanded human-milk-banking to a further four provincial hospitals, bringing the countrywide total 44 human-breastmilk-bank facilities. “Despite great success over the past ten years, the lives that need to be saved remain many, says Jordan. “We have a mammoth task ahead of us to turn around infant mortality rates in Africa, therefore we need the support from the breastfeeding community to help drive the change toward higher breastfeeding rates and ultimately lower infant mortality.” In reducing premature infant mortality rates, over-stretched hospitals also save millions of Rands annually, which advances the healthcare of the entire nation over the long run. To get involved and alleviate the challenges faced by the SABR, including low breastfeeding rates in South Africa, sourcing donor mothers when so many women are HIV positive, and funding for the operation of the milk-banks, please visit www.sabr.org.za or call 011 482 1920 or e-mail: [email protected]. About South African Breastmilk Reserve The South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR) was founded in 2003 as the first registered human-milk-bank in South Africa. The main objective of the SABR is to facilitate the establishment of human-milk-banks in as many communities as possible, with the aim of providing human milk (and the necessary equipment and funding) to babies in need, particularly babies orphaned as a result of AIDS. Today the SABR supplies in excess of 60 hospitals and is constantly working to gain favour for human milk banking in these hospitals, including: Bloemfontein Universitas, Bloemfontein Pelonomi; Boitumelo Hospital; Bongani Hospital, Dihlabeng Hospital; Edenvale (cnr); Kalafong Hospital; Kimberley Hospital; Manapo Hospital; Netcare Alberlito (cnr); Netcare Blaauwberg; Netcare Cuyler PE; Netcare Femina; Netcare Kuils River (cnr); Netcare Olivedale; Netcare Parklane; Netcare Parklands; Netcare St Augustine’s (cnr); Netcare The Bay; Newcastle Provincial H; Northdale (cnr); Pietermaritzburg H Complex; Potchefstroom Hospital; SABR Head Office; Sandton MediClinic; Tembisa Hospital; Witbank Hospital.

September 2, 2014

Why go for rice cereal when we have so many other delicious options?

Honestly, as a Mom and dietitian there is no reason to start food introductions with rice cereal. Rice cereal has been a long-time staple of the food introduction folklore, but there is no science or even practical reasoning behind it. Rice cereal has very little nutritional value. It is starchy, full of carbohydrates with little to no protein or fat and very few vitamins and minerals. Even the iron that is added to most brands is very poorly absorbed and frequently contributes to constipation. And that whole “add rice cereal to the bottle to make them sleep through the night” idea? Sorry, it’s a myth. Why go for rice cereal when we have so many other delicious options? Here are some ideas for the different age groups: 4-6 months, pureed food (the Allergy society recommends to wait until at least 4-6 months before introducing solid foods. I strongly agree. There is no downside to waiting past 4 months, as mothers milk is by far the best and most nutritious food.) Avocado (a great first food! Full of healthy fats, mild in flavour) Carrots (add a drizzle of olive oil to increase the calories) Sweet potato Hubbard squash/butternut/pumpkin (mixed with a little cinnamon – yum!) Pear Banana Apple Mango 6-9 months, pureed food, start small finger food Berries (except strawberries, which can be allergenic – wait until 12+ months to introduce those) Broccoli, kale, chard and other “brassica” family vegetables Cucumbers Yogurt Cream cheese Poultry (even though it’s expensive, organic is really the best) Ostrich or venison Lamb Pork Egg Nut butters Beans and lentils (mixed with some chicken stock – yummy!) Sunflower and pumpkin seed butter (thinned) Grains like oats, rice, quinoa, buckwheat Blackstrap molasses (you can add a little to just about everything to increase iron and calcium) 7-12 months, mashed or finger food Orange and other citrus Strawberries Grapes Tomato Barley, rye and wheat Mushrooms Honey Soy Beef (pureed beef stew in tomato stock is so delicious!) Obviously there are a lot more foods. Fruit and Veggies can be introduced daily, new one every day to increase range and variety. With the protein foods – Start with one food at a time and wait 3-4 days before introducing a new food (this is to see if there is a delayed food intolerance that may not be immediately noticeable). Once one food is well tolerated you can mix and match (or mix and mash) – e.g., chicken and pumpkin, avocado and peas. There are lots of opinions on how to introduce foods and when to add spices and herbs. Personally, I think adding flavour is a great idea while the child’s palate is still developing. Many infants start with extremely spicy curries and peppered dishes. I don’t recommend that – unless your family is already used to some heat – but definitely consider adding a dash of cinnamon, a pinch of paprika, or some ground herbs like basil, thyme or oregano. Just remember that infant portions are very small, so the spice needs to be proportionate. Making your own is so much more fun (and less expensive) than buying baby food jars.

August 27, 2014

How To Grocery Shop With A Baby

Yesterday I started a baby massage class. I was disappointed to find out that it would be me massaging my baby, and not the other way round. Surely I deserve a little bit of deep tissue love? It should be payback for never having any time for myself. Carter’s going through a growth spurt (well, that’s what the books say, as apparently ‘possessed by demons’ isn’t appropriate). This means that my days of having 3 hours in between feeds while he napped and I leisurely applied makeup, showered or pumped boobs are over – at least for the next few days. Just yesterday I ate an omelette with my hands, like a sandwich. I have the deepest amount of respect and sympathy for moms who have had niggly babies from day 1. It’s tough – you love them more than wine, but it’s near impossible to do anything if they don’t let you put them down for even a second. Short of drugging them, the only thing to do is wait for hubby to get home from work or wait for the growth spurt to be over. With this in mind, I wanted to share a few handy shortcuts to motherhood that I heave learnt in the last 5 weeks. Venturing out. When leaving the house for any reason at all, make sure you are always in gym clothes and are slightly disheveled. (Moms, I hear you laughing ‘cos how ELSE does one go out with a new born, right?). The reason for this, and no, it’s not to actually Go to gym, silly, is so should you bump into anyone you know, or even don’t know, they will automatically assume you’ve come from a 90 minute spin class, and will immediately think you Wonder Woman for exercising while looking after a baby. Extra points for smudged or no makeup and vomit on your top (people will just assume it’s protein shake). Cooking. When making anything, anything at all, make sure you make enough to feed a soup kitchen. Then freeze the leftovers and re-heat for breakfast, lunch and dinner the following week. Your husband will grow to love tofu noodles, promise. Exercise. IF you ever get the inkling to actually do anything of the aerobic nature, then having a goal is key. And by goal I mean a fancy cappuccino or blueberry muffin. I like to take brisk walks to the local Seattle down the road and reward myself with a grande latte and a cheese sandwich. You may not ever lose weight, but it’s a lot more rewarding than going to the gym. Wine. Is very important. I am not ashamed to admit that I now buy wine in boxes as its a lot easier to pour when you only have 1 hand. Just be careful you don’t drop the glass. I mean the baby, don’t drop the baby. Makeup and personal hygiene. Invest in a deodorant that promises 48 hour protection, and you’ve saved yourself a day. Sleep with waterproof makeup on, and wear the sports bra to bed that you plan on wearing the next day. That pretty much leaves brushing your teeth and tying your hair in a mom bun, and you’re good to go. Grocery shopping. I made the fatal error of going to the mall when my baby was asleep in his pram. Taking full advantage of this I thought it was a magnificent time to buy all new wine glasses, drinking glasses, soup bowls and blankets for the house. This left me walking back to my car pushing a pram, a trolley of breakables, a nappy bag a handbag and a 6 pack of milk. School girl error. If you need to do a grocery shop then leave the baby in the very capable hands of another adult and go alone. Although I can’t promise that you won’t dash out for sesame seeds and nipple cream and come back with a thousand rands worth of Woolies goodies and a new lounge suite. Oh, and before you think “but the bitch has time to blog” please note that baby is with granny and I’m writing from the comfort of the hairdressers chair, while holding a dog named Leo. As you do.

August 20, 2014

Your Diet During Pregnancy, How Important Is It Really?

With so many myths out there about diet and pregnancy, no wonder new mothers-to-be feel confused about the do’s and don’ts of their own diets. To eat appropriately is the one thing a mother have a lot of control over, and wants to get 100% right, but is so afraid of getting it wrong. We are regularly told that our weight, nutritional status and health during pregnancy and breastfeeding have effect on a baby’s risk of developing disease in future, birth risks, the baby’s health and growth both in the uterus and after birth. Scary as it may sound, with the right dietary advice and support it can actually be quite easy to get your diet right with a few easy tips. Will what I eat in pregnancy influence my child’s eating habits? Want your child to love veggies? Start early. Very early! New research shows that WHAT a woman eats during pregnancy not only nourishes her baby in the womb, but can influence a baby’s palate and food memories before he/she is born. The study found that a mother’s diet shapes her baby’s food preferences and acceptance later in life. Flavour perception develops as early as in the unborn infant and taste and smell continues to develop once they are born. In the womb, a fetus is surrounded and nourished on amniotic fluids, which is filled with the flavours of what the mom has eaten in the last few hours. The fetus starts to swallow large amounts of amniotic fluid from about 12 week’s gestation. By the time a womb reaches her third trimester the fetus’s brain starts to communicate with the taste and smell receptors – for the baby to start to associate with certain flavours and odours in the amniotic fluid. A baby therefore already starts to build a memory bank of tastes and flavours during pregnancy. Amniotic fluid is therefore the first food for the baby to feast on and contains protein, sugars, fat and different flavours of the food that the mother eats. The fetus can detect these tastes and flavours – forming memories of these flavours and will prefer flavours that were previously experienced in the amniotic fluid. It was shown that if mothers who consumed carrot, anise or garlic flavoured food during pregnancy, their infants would be more accepting to flavours later in life. The flavour learning continues when infants experience the flavours of mother’s diet transmitted in breast milk, especially flavours such as anise, garlic, carrot, mint, vanilla. When babies start solids they showed greater liking for and acceptance of flavours to which they had early exposure. This means you can teach your baby to like broccoli from an early age! This varied experiences with food flavours increase food acceptance and may help explain why children who are breastfed are less picky during childhood. Formula tastes the same day-in and day-out. If you plan to formula feed your infant, and worry about the lack of variants in flavours just make sure you introduce your baby to the largest variety of solid food and flavours early on in the weaning period. To conclude, if you want your children to eat a healthy diet (e.g. their broccoli) or more adventurous diet, you should expose them to all the right, healthy flavours early on. Will WHAT I eat during pregnancy affect what diseases my child may have in later life? There are some studies that show that the mother’s diet may affect whether children have the risk for developing diabetes, heart disease, obesity or high blood pressure later in life. During the war, when pregnant women were exposed to very little food, especially in the first trimester, their children were more likely to be born heavier, taller and develop heart disease in adulthood. Some studies suggest that when an expectant mother has too little protein and too many carbohydrates in her diet, the child may have a risk of high blood pressure later in life. This also applies to when you do not supplement your diet with the recommended vitamin and mineral supplements e.g. folic acid, iron calcium and vitamin D. “Over nutrition” during pregnancy also has detrimental effects and may cause the fetus to grow faster than the fetus’s organs and can lead to liver, heart and kidney disease in adulthood. There is also a suggestion in research that if your diet is rich in omega 3 fatty acids (mainly available in oily fish and seeds) during pregnancy it can protect the baby against ailments such as high blood pressure and heart disease in adult life. Should I avoid certain foods during pregnancy to prevent my child from having food allergies? Many scientific studies have been done to investigate whether mothers who avoid certain foods in the diet during pregnancy can control the presence of allergies and eczema in their babies once they are born. They all concluded that babies might or might not present with food allergies and eczema, regardless of the mother’s diet, especially when there is a strong family history of food allergies. They also concluded that avoiding certain food in the pregnant mother’s diet have shown to affect the mother and the baby’s nutritional status. Both may run the risk of missing out on essential vitamin and minerals contributing to an inadequate nutritional intake and is therefore not recommended. You can actually do more harm than good by avoiding anything in the diet for instance nuts, fish, eggs, milk, citrus fruits to prevent allergies in your baby. If you as expectant mother do suffer from food allergies and need to avoid certain foods it would be of benefit to consult a dietitian who would be able to provide you with a nutritionally balanced diet and ensure both you and your baby get all the nutrients you require. Super foods for pregnancy Eggs: It contains choline that helps to reduce the risk of neural tube defects, such as spina bifida. In addition, studies suggest that choline is key to the

August 18, 2014

Getting Some Sleep

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. We all know this, and yet as parents we somehow expect ourselves to go for months or years without sleep and still function (and even be wonderful, calm, kind people). I’m sorry, but if specially trained soldiers crack under this particular form of torture, what makes you think you will be any different? So if your two, three, four or even seven year-old is still keeping you up at night, let’s look at some possible questions you can ask to get to the bottom of the problem. Now step one would be to make sure there are no serious health complications keeping the child awake. A quick trip to the GP can set your mind at rest and get you started on the following investigations! I always start by looking at the kids’ diets… what are they eating? Are they eating more carbohydrates than protein for instance? I would start by cutting out all sugar and refined carbs (wheat, flour, baked stuff etc) and increase fat and protein intake especially at night. It can also help to give a Magnesium supplement before bed (you can get these in a delicious syrup for kids, but please check with your healthcare advisor before adding supplements to your child’s diet). Do you have a proper routine that you stick to daily? i.e. Dinner at a certain time followed by bath, story and bed? Do you start winding down in the afternoons? A consistent routine can help a child to settle more quickly and to adapt to change more easily. How much TV are they exposed to? Television is highly stimulating. Definitely cut out TV right before bed (a bedtime story is much more calming), but you can even try cutting this out altogether and see if it makes a difference. Have they always slept less than other babies? Do they still have a daytime nap? With an older child you can try cutting this out – if they make it through the afternoon in a generally happy state, then leave the nap. If not, add it back in. My kids stopped their daytime nap at 18 months and were perfectly happy without it (and then slept well at night), so don’t always believe that a child needs a daytime nap until they are 4 or 5. What time do they go to bed? What time do they wake up? Do they then seem tired or ok? Some children need less sleep, and putting them to bed before they’re ready is a recipe for disaster! If your child is keeping you awake tossing and turning in your bed, then you need to ask… Have they always slept in your bed? Do they feel safe in their own room? Is there something they need to help them feel more comfortable/safe there? Keep in mind that as adults we generally share a room with a partner and even then we still sometimes get scared in the night and yet we expect a 5-year-old to cope on their own. Do they go to sleep in their own room and then come to you? It may help to lie down with them in their own room until they fall asleep and then do this every time they wake in the night and come to your room – I know it’s time consuming and frustrating especially if you’re sleep deprived, but worth it in the long run. Or if you’d like to keep your child in your room, but still get some sleep, consider having their cot or mattress in your room but not necessarily having them in your bed! There are so many possible factors involved when it comes to children not sleeping, that it is worth doing some investigating to find out where things have gone awry. Hopefully these questions will help you to get started. It is then also worth examining your own belief systems around what is enough sleep, when kids should sleep and where, and whether your needs are less important than theirs. Happy families are a balancing act of making sure that both the parents and children’s needs are being met, and your need for sleep is essential not only to your own well-being, but to the well-being of the entire family. Keep this in mind as you investigate. And sleep tight!

August 13, 2014

Perception vs Reality Of An Insufficient Milk Supply

There are many reasons that a mother may believe there is a problem with her breast milk. You may worry that your milk is not rich or satisfying enough. Perhaps it is causing excessive gas or even an allergic reaction in your baby. But by far, the most common concern when it comes to breastfeeding is that you simply do not have enough milk. This is universally the most typical reason for a mother to give up breast-feeding just a couple of weeks after her baby’s birth. But, studies show that a very limited number of women who terminate breast feeding for this reason actually have a low milk supply. One may suspect a low milk supply when you lose the feeling of ‘fullness’ in your breasts or when your breasts stop leaking. This usually happens at around 6 weeks post birth and is simply a sign that your breasts are adapting to meet the demands of your baby. Often, this coincides with your baby’s first growth spurt. A baby who is going through a growth spurt will want to feed more frequently leaving your breasts feeling less full than normal. This again may cause a mother to believe that she does not have enough milk for her child and she may want to supplement feeds. The key to determining whether your baby is getting enough milk or not is learning about and recognising normal newborn behaviour. Breastfeeding is going well and your baby is getting enough milk if: By day 4 your baby is producing at least six wet nappies in a 24 hour period Your baby is producing pale, diluted urine By day 4 your baby is producing three or more stools in a 24 hour period that are yellow or at least turning yellow Your baby is feeding 8 – 12 times in a 24 hour period Your breasts feel softer after a feed You are not experiencing pain during or after a feed Your baby regains his birth weight after 10 – 14 days Your baby is gaining 150g – 240g per week You can hear your baby swallowing during a feed Your baby is alert during awake times Your baby is content between feeds Genuine Low Milk Supply A genuine low milk supply does and can occur at any time in your breastfeeding journey but can usually be corrected. This is often caused by an incorrect latch, limited time at the breast, improper positioning, illness, a baby’s inability to suck properly or supplemented feedings. A mother may also notice a drop in her milk supply if she is particularly tired, stressed or simply not consuming enough calories in her daily diet. Many second or third time moms will experience a low supply at some point and this is largely due to the fact that life is much busier than it was when you had just one baby to look after. The first thing that one must look at when it comes to increasing your supply is to find the cause of insufficient production and to fix it. Many mothers may be able to increase milk production by simply altering your pattern of feeds and increasing the number of times that you feed in a 24 hour period. However, if your baby is not latching correctly or if she is unable to remove milk from your breast optimally, this will need to be corrected before you can begin to breast-feed successfully. It is a good idea to visit your local well baby clinic or to contact a breastfeeding consultant if you are at all worried that your baby is not getting enough milk. Once you have eliminated causes such as an incorrect latch or illness you can focus on upping your supply. Actions for increasing milk production: Rest as much as possible. relax during feeds as this will encourage milk flow Take a ‘baby break’ and spend 100% of your time with your baby for 48 hours. use this time to focus on increasing feeds and resting. Take special precautions to prevent sore nipples (use a pure form of lanolin, check latch, air dry nipples) Use galactagogues – foods, drinks or herbs used to increase production Use a hospital grade electric breast pump to provide additional stimulation for your breasts – pump for 10 minutes per side after each feed Improve your diet – focus on eating protein with every meal and snack of the day and try to include a breastfeeding or pregnancy specific shake in every 24 hour period Feed your baby at a time when he is alert and hungry to optimise milk removal Resume night feeds if they have been dropped Nurse for comfort if your baby is fussy Encourage your baby to feed more frequently and for longer time periods On the rare occasion even after trying all of the above, a mother may still be struggling. In this case, it may be worth asking your doctor about various drugs that one can safely take to encourage milk production.

August 6, 2014

Smoking and Your Baby

Mothers’ smoking during pregnancy is well-recognized as carrying a range of serious health risks for the unborn baby including fetal mortality, low birth weight, premature birth and a range of serious birth defects such as cleft palate, club foot and heart problems. Heart Defects Congenital heart defects are the most common type of birth defects, contributing to approximately 30 percent of infant deaths from birth defects annually. Tobacco exposure in the womb may be a huge contributing factor. According to study results just published in the 28 Feb 2011 issue of the journal Pediatrics, women who smoke during the first trimester of pregnancy increase their unborn child’s risk of being born with congenital heart defects by 20 to 70 percent. The study, conducted by the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), found a link between tobacco and defects that inhibit blood flow from the right side of the heart into the lungs and openings between the upper chambers of the heart. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) SIDS, also known as cot death, is marked by the sudden death of an infant that is unexpected by medical history and remains unexplained after a thorough forensic autopsy and a detailed death scene investigation. However, studies show that infants of mothers who smoked during pregnancy are three times more likely to die of SIDS than those whose mothers were smoke-free. Furthermore, exposure to secondhand smoke doubles a baby’s risk of SIDS. According to the US Surgeon General’s Report, infants who die from SIDS tend to have higher concentrations of nicotine and conicotine (a biological marker for secondhand smoke exposure) in their body fluids than those who die from other causes. Yet another good reason to ditch the cigs. I know quitting smoking is no easy task but it just has to be easier than grieving for a lost child! Second Hand Smoke A pregnant mother who does not smoke and breathes in secondhand smoke has a 23% higher chance of delivering a stillborn baby or a 13% higher chance of giving birth to a child with congenital birth defects. This is what researchers from the University of Nottingham, England, revealed in the journal Pediatrics. As we still do not know when the effects of secondhand smoke may begin, it is important to protect women from environmental tobacco smoke not only during pregnancy, but also beforehand. Expectant fathers need to be aware of the harmful effects their smoking might have, and ultimately, in the interests of their partner and their unborn child, the best option would be to give up completely (Men also need to know that smoking does have an impact on sperm development and hence the prospects of the resulting foetus. Please quit before you even try for a baby). Enter Third Hand Smoke. Unheard of before but now thought to be the reason why babies who sleep in their parents’ bedrooms exhibit nicotine levels three times higher than those that sleep in another room – even though the parents don’t smoke in their bedroom. These figures show that they suffer from what is known as “third-hand smoke”, in other words the harmful smoke particles that impregnate their parents’ skin, clothes and hair. This third hand smoke – the invisible remains of cigarette smoke that deposits on carpeting, clothing, furniture and other surfaces – also poses a serious health hazard to babies crawling on carpets. So what to do? In view of all the above, the guidelines to parents are clear: Do not smoke during pregnancy (mothers and fathers). Never smoke or let anyone smoke near your baby. Never smoke or let anyone smoke in a room where your baby will sleep. If you smoke, do not sleep in the same room as your baby. Don’t hesitate to ask visitors not to smoke near your baby. Avoid visiting smoky places with your baby. Any of the above will make your baby smoke passively and increase his/her risk of health problems significantly. Baby will also be more prone to colds and airway infections and have an increased chance to develop asthma and other diseases. Quitting is the single most important thing a couple can do to give their baby a chance at better health. So how about quitting today!

July 17, 2014

Healthful Tips For A Healthy Pregnancy

You have just found out that you are pregnant – all excited and ready to let the world know that you are about to bring forth a new life! But once the initial excitement is over, you begin to ponder over what you should or should not be doing to ensure you have a healthy baby. Good nutrition plays a vital role for both the mother and the unborn child. An expectant mother should therefore be aware of the influence her nutritional choices will have on her and her little one. Here are some common questions and answers to help empower those moms-to-be! How much weight should you gain? Should pregnant women really be eating for two? What kinds of foods should be included, limited and avoided? How to manage nausea? What about supplements? What is gestational diabetes and how do you manage it? What about high cholesterol levels during pregnancy? How Much Weight Should I Gain? The amount of weight gain will vary depending on your pre-pregnancy weight. If you are at a healthy weight (BMI between 18.5 and 25) before pregnancy, your weight increase over the pregnancy period should be between 11-16kg. If you are overweight (BMI between 25 and 30), you should not gain more than 7-11kg. If you are obese (BMI above 30) you should not gain more than 7kg. If you were underweight prior to conception (BMI less than 18.5), you should gain between 12-18kg. Adequate weight gain as well as following a healthy, balanced diet is required to ensure the health of your baby. Should Pregnant Women Really Be Eating For Two? Eating for two from the beginning of your pregnancy is a common myth which, if followed, can result in unnecessary weight gain. During the first trimester, you should only gain about one or two kilograms of body weight, as nutritional requirements only increase from the second trimester onwards (i.e. from the fourth month). To put this into perspective, during the second trimester energy intakes should increase by about 1,420 kJ (equivalent to 2 dairy and 2 starch servings) per day and a further 470 kJ (equivalent to 1 starch and 1 fruit serving) per day in the third trimester (this being for someone who had a healthy BMI prior to conception). Note: energy requirements increase due to growth of the baby and the mother’s increased body weight. Additional energy requirements will differ from person to person and is also dependent on the mother’s level of physical activity. What Kinds Of Foods Should Be Included, Limited And Avoided? The Heart and Stroke Foundation South Africa (HSF) recommends including a variety of foods from the different food groups (dairy, starch, protein, vegetables, fruit and fats) before conception as well as during pregnancy. The minimum number of servings per food group should be as follows: Low fat or fat free dairy (milk, yoghurt, cheese, buttermilk or maas) – to provide adequate calcium and protein (3 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 cup (250 ml) milk, 1 tub (175 ml) yoghurt or a matchbox size (30g) of cheese) Unrefined starches (whole wheat bread, rolls, cereals, rice, pasta and potatoes) – to provide fibre, proteins and B vitamins (7 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 slice of bread, ½ cup cereal, porridge, cooked pasta or rice) Lean proteins (meat, fish, chicken, turkey, ostrich, soya, eggs, legumes and lentils) – to provide protein, iron and B vitamins (7 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to a matchbox size (30g) of meat/chicken/fish, 1 egg, 1/3 cup of beans or lentils) Vegetables and fruit to provide vitamins and minerals (at least 5 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 medium sized fruit, ½ cup cooked vegetables or 1 cup of raw vegetables or salad) Healthy fats (mono and polyunsaturated such as vegetable oils, soft-tub margarines, avocado, olives, nuts and seeds) (around 3 servings per day – 1 serving is equivalent to 1 teaspoon oil or soft tub margarine, ¼ avo, a small handful of nuts or seeds) Note: The quantities of food should be adjusted to meet individual requirements to promote appropriate weight gain. Pregnant teenagers and underweight women may need greater quantities and should preferably consult a dietitian or health care professional. Water: Drink plenty of clean, safe water daily. Increasing fibre intake without drinking adequate water can lead to constipation. Artificial Sweeteners: Moderate use of these sweeteners has been deemed safe even though some sweeteners can be transmitted over the placenta. It must be noted though that women with a rare metabolic condition, phenylketonuria (PKU), should avoid these sweeteners. Caffeine: Caffeine intake should be limited to no more than 2 cups of coffee or 5 cups of tea per day. Alcohol: No alcohol should be consumed during pregnancy as it can lead to foetal alcohol syndrome (resulting in slow growth, slow mental development, eye problems, face and skull abnormalities and low birth weight). Although some health professionals will advise on moderate drinking, we don’t know at what level the harmful effects start. Therefore it is better to completely avoid alcohol. For Food Safety Reasons To Reduce The Risk Of Food Borne Illnesses, Avoid: Processed cold meats or deli meats unless they are reheated until very hot Avoid cured but uncooked meats like smoked salmon or Parma ham. Cooked cold meats such as smoked chicken, ham or beef can be eaten if you buy from a reputable store, make sure it’s in date, and store meat in a fridge without letting it stand outside at room temperature. Soft cheeses like feta, brie, camembert and blue veined cheese unless they are labelled ‘made with pasteurised milk’. Other options like mozzarella, cheese spreads and cottage cheese can be safely consumed Refrigerated paté or meat spreads. Canned or shelf-stable paté and meat spreads can be eaten Eating smoked seafood that is refrigerated unless it’s an ingredient in a cooked dish like pizza Raw/seared fish or shellfish as well as rare meat cuts Unwashed vegetables How To Manage Nausea? Nausea is common during pregnancy and you can try one of

July 9, 2014

Baby Led Weaning

Weaning is the gradual change that a baby makes from having breast milk or formula as her only food source to eventually having no breast milk or formula and this change over can take on average 18 months. When one thinks of introducing the first solids, a picture of an adult spoon-feeding a baby pureed butternut or cereal comes to mind. This approach is the most common weaning approach in the western world and rarely questioned. If one Google’s the dictionary definition of spoon-feeding you come up with: ‘to provide with so much help or information that one does not need to think for oneself. Baby led weaning on the other hand encourages a baby’s confidence and independence by following her cues. Solid feeding starts when a baby is able to move objects comfortably to her mouth, sit supported with good neck control and starts showing an interest in what the caregivers are eating. If given a chance most babies will show their parents that they are ready for something other than milk simply by grabbing a piece of food and taking it to their mouths The process of baby led weaning includes the following: Your baby sits at the family mealtime table with you and joins in when she is ready. She is encouraged to explore food as soon as she is interested, by picking it up with her hands – it doesn’t matter whether or not she manages to eat any at first. Food is offered in pieces that are the size and shape that the baby can handle easily, rather than as purees or mashed food. It is up to your baby how much she eats, and how quickly she widens the range of foods she enjoys. Your baby continues to have milk feeds and will show you when she is ready to reduce them. The first experiences of eating solid food can have an impact on the way a baby feels about mealtimes for many years, so it makes sense to make them enjoyable. Unfortunately weaning for many baby’s – and their parents – isn’t much fun. Not all babies’ mind being spoon fed in the conventional way, some though become resigned to spoon feeding as oppose to really enjoying it. Babies’, who are allowed to feed themselves, overall seem to enjoy food. Baby led weaning is most appropriate for infants over the age of 6 months as these infants are more able to co-ordinate hand to mouth movements. The benefits of baby led weaning are numerous and include but are not limited to the following ; It’s enjoyable and fun for the whole family It’s a natural way of weaning – prior to the 1900’s parents would instinctively bring babies to the table when they were able to sit supported on the parents lap. This would lead to baby being given food from the family table. Learning about foods: babies who are allowed to feed themselves learn about the look, smell, taste and texture of different foods. Learning to eat safely – being allowed to explore food before it goes into their mouth teaches babies about what is chewable and what isn’t. Learning about their world – babies never just play, they are always learning. Reaching potential – feeding themselves allows babies to practise important aspects of their development at every mealtime. Using fingers to get food to their mouths practices dexterity and pincer gripe. Chewing on food vs just swallowing strengthens facial muscles. Gaining confidence – allowing babies to do things for themselves not only enables them to learn but gives them confidence in their own abilities and judgement. Trusting food – they are more likely to trust foods as eating is always in the context of a family mealtime so your baby sees you eat the food before she decides to try it. Appetite control – they determine how much they can manage and need at one time. Less pickiness and mealtime battles – eating is enjoyable and babies eat normal family foods from the start. So are their any disadvantages to Baby Led Weaning: There are some concerns around baby led weaning and the biggest one is the fear that a baby will not take in enough food to nourish itself. This can happen if a baby is drinking too much milk for too long and doesn’t make the transition to solids. Breastfed babies who are not eating sufficient solid intake after 6 months are at risk of suffering from iron deficiency inadequate protein intake. Some moms are not comfortable with this approach as it is less structured with minimal boundaries. Family mealtimes should be the goal in all homes; however, this may not always be realistic: three meals a day 7 days a week. Baby led weaning requires a baby to consistently mimic eating and eat together with one other trusted person. Take heart, if you like the idea of baby led weaning, and the idea of spoon-feeding also appeals to you, you can do both. It is more the principles of baby led weaning that you need to embrace, how you implement them will be guided by you, your baby and your circumstances. Finger feeding and self-feeding together with Spoon-feeding. If you have successfully spoon-fed and your baby is older than 6 months you can add the concept of baby led weaning alongside spoon-feeding by introducing finger foods at meal times while you are spoon-feeding. You can introduce baby led weaning snack times using the Baby led weaning principles discussed in this articles. Here are some examples of appropriate baby led weaning/finger starter foods: Steamed florets of cauliflower or broccoli Steamed, roasted or stir fried veggies Raw sticks of cucumber Thick slices of firm avo Fruit such as pear, apple, banana, peach, mango, nectarine – either whole or in strips Take a bite out of a whole fruit before you give it to your baby to make it easier for him to get to the flesh. Dried mango strips Keep

June 16, 2014

How I breastfed My Twins

Our twins were in the NNICU when they were born because they needed to develop the sucking reflex which comes in after 36 weeks. They were a bit small and were tube fed until they gained a bit of weight. I expressed milk for them into bottles which the nurses fed to them via the tube. They soon put on weight and developed a bit so that I could breast feed them. There are a few different positions you can use but the most comfortable one for me was the “rugby hold”. One baby under each arm with a pillow under them to raise their heads a bit. The babies lie on their side facing you. I would attach one baby and then the other. I found the best place to feed them was on the bed. It gives you the space to handle them and is more comfortable for you too. Deciding which baby got which breast was easy enough as the one baby preferred the left, so I left it like that. Baby A got the left and baby B got the right. The more I tried to make one baby feed on the other side the more stressed out we all got. They say you could get lopsided breasts as one baby might feed more than the other , but that didn’t happen with us. I fed on demand and they were happy enough. I did have to eventually stop breast feeding because they were both reflux babies and they had to have formula to help with that. Finding a comfortable feeding cushion will help but there are not many twin feeding cushions in SA. Make sure you are comfortable, there is nothing worse than when you have successfully attached both babies and now you have to move because you are uncomfortable. Turn off your phone and try relax. Feeding your babies is all you need to worry about. Stress will affect your milk supply. Have a glass of water within arm’s reach in case you get thirsty. They say when you feel thirsty you are already dehydrated. Make sure you look after yourself. There are different products on the market but I used the Schlein Blackberry Elixer. It tasted good and it helps with milk too. As soon as your babies are born , and you are able , start pumping. It will help your body start producing milk and keep the supply up. Even if your babies are in NICU , you can still feed them your milk and it will go a long way to give your babies that boost. You can get great double pumps that will save you time and a lot of effort. Ask for help when you are in the hospital. If you battle to latch them at first, don’t give up. It may take a few feeds before you all know what you are doing. Both you and the babies are learning what suits you best. The nurses in the hospital should be able to give you contact details for a lactation specialist near you. My number one tip and something I try to always do is LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!! No one will know your babies as well as you do. Being a mother of multiples is not easy. Don’t sweat the small stuff and do what suits you. It doesn’t matter what your friend, auntie, neighbour says . Take the info you want and ditch the rest. If you need any advice or support SAMBA- The South African Multiple Birth Association is a great place to get much needed advice, support and to meet other families with multiples. SAMBA does a fantastic expectant parent seminar, you can check on the next date on their website. Well done and enjoy this amazing journey with your multiples.

May 12, 2014

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