South African Divorce Support Association

An open letter to divorcing parents

Dear Parents, Divorce/separation sucks for the simple reason that when two people get together and have children, they make plans to build a future together. They do not plan for an eventual separation. So when it eventually happens, everything as they know it, crumbles. Everything will be different, and that is scary as hell. Today, thanks to extensive resources available, providing a wealth of information on all aspects of separation and referencing many people having gone through a separation before, separating parents are being presented with more options to separate with less trauma, and receive more knowledge on how to face and proceed mindfully with this life changing event. It gifts them a head start to engage on this journey in a manner that will not only allow them to move forward with less anger and bitterness, but mostly in sparing their children from broken childhood memories. Yet, there is increasing evidence of a rise in parental conflicts, court battles, evasion of parental roles and responsibilities, and using the children to control certain outcomes of their agreements not being met. Life is a never ending learning process. To discard available information and valuable support, is choosing to be a victim of your circumstances. Yes, a separation is distressing and hard on a person. It can make you feel like there is little justice and that life isn’t fair, but it should not become an excuse to waste your life focusing on a dream that did not materialise. Instead, evaluate if your conflicts are about hurting your ex or rather hurting your sons and daughters, because your conflicts are wounding your children in ways they cannot control. Recognise that there is in fact no problem. What you see as a problem is actually a change of direction. It’s not the end, it’s not a beginning. It’s a transition that allows you to plan for some different and new life choices. The time has come for separating and separated parents to address the crisis their families are in when going through a divorce/separation. Parents who are hostage to an acrimonious battle over custody and/or maintenance are not fighting for what is in the best interest of their children, they are out to hurt and destroy each other, no matter who stands in the cross fire. It is time to raise awareness that being in control of your emotions is the solution to forgiveness and healing, so that you can mend, and not destroy, your children’s families. The time is now to change the way you, parents, separate, so that you can give your sons and daughters a life which feels normal being happy and not which feels normal being broken. The Law doesn’t raise children, parents do! Nadia Thonnard

Skidz

IS THERE A PROBLEM IF MY BABY DOESN’T CRAWL?

You might have heard some people say that crawling is vitally important, while others say it is not. Many people have said “My baby never crawled and he is fine” or “I don’t think it’s that important”. Personally I prefer not to listen to everyone’s opinions, but to look at the research. Not only do I work in this field, but I am a mommy of a son who didn’t crawl. A super intelligent boy who has low muscle tone and is double jointed. So I too was wondering what all the fuss was about when our Paediatrician sent us to the baby Physio. What advantages are there to crawling? It is important to understand that the development of Gross motor skills is essential for the development of fine motor skills. These two go hand-in-hand. Firstly crawling builds strength in all the muscles around the shoulders. Without strength in these muscles, he will have great difficulty in stabilising his arm while doing intricate functions with his hands, such as drawing or doing a puzzle. Here you can see that crawling is essential for physical development. It develops gross and fine motor skills, balance and hand-eye co-ordination. This is where the problem was lying for us. My son is double jointed in his shoulders and he could physically not carry his own weight there. The strengthening of these muscles are vitally important for fine motor skills as well. Muscles getting tired easily and quickly means that holding a pencil in the correct pencil grip is a challenge for example. Secondly it develops bilateral co-ordination. This means that both the left and right sides of the brain and body communicate with each other at the same time. This is called cross-lateral integration, and it builds a foundation for future skills such as speech and language development, as well as movements that cross the mid-line like reading, writing and tying shoe laces. Another obvious advantage is the freedom to explore. Yes this means bumping of head and packing away anything that could be dangerous but it has so many benefits. It helps develop visual spatial skills and depth perception. It also builds self-confidence as baby learns to make his own decisions and to take risks. What do I do if my baby doesn’t crawl? There are many ways to determine the problem and help. As a start it is important to not push baby to crawl too soon. The average is at around 9 months, but if he is a little slower it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a problem. If you are concerned have a chat to your paediatrician about it. There are also lots of games and exercises you can do to help encourage weight bearing on the arms. Before actually crawling baby needs to be able to stand on all fours with his bum in the air, you can help him do this by rolling a towel underneath his tummy and lifting him up into the crawl position. Once baby can do this himself, he will start rocking and many start moving backwards first, before crawling forward. My son did the bum shuffle, and never actually crawled on all fours. If your child is the same don’t despair you can help develop all these skills and muscles at an older age too. Play crawling games as a toddler over an obstacle course is a good option. You can also do wheelbarrow walks or races. This is where your child walks on his hands, while you hold his feet. These and many more are all activities included in the SkidZ Clever Activity Box curriculum. It includes daily activities for all the different milestones and helps baby develop all the necessary skills through play. The program was developed by experts in the field of early childhood development and so you can have the peace of mind that all areas are covered. The program is not only good for parents to know what age appropriate activities to do with baby, but it is perfect for nannies too. Children learn and build relationships through play and this is what our program aids in. For more info please contact me at [email protected] You can also get in touch via our facebook page www.facebook.com/skidzsa and our website www.skidz.co.za

Parenting Hub

Breastfeeding is key to sustainable development

Breastfeeding is a critical foundation for the 17 Sustainable Development Goals adopted by the UN General Assembly in September 2015. These goals are intended to end poverty and to fight inequality and injustice, to ensure that no individual is left behind, and to direct world-wide development onto a sustainable path. “Breastfeeding is not just vital for the health and wellbeing of infants, it is vital for the wellbeing of our society and our planet,” says Chantell Witten, Senior Lecturer/Researcher at the North-West University and Breastfeeding spokesperson for the South African Civil Society for Women’s, Adolescents’ and Children’s Health (SACSoWACH). “Breastfeeding saves energy and water, eliminates hunger, reduces pollution, increases earnings, and improves educational outcomes,” says Witten, “As such we need to ensure that we prioritise breastfeeding and support mothers because neglecting these duties harms our entire society.” A month’s supply of formula for an infant is estimated to cost R700, and this increases as a baby grows. This does not include the extra costs of energy and water consumed by formula feeding. In low income households these expenses can make the difference between the rest of the family eating sufficient protein or going hungry. This can exacerbate inequality and make it harder for families to depart from poverty. By contrast, the $35 Billion (R500 billion) breastmilk substitute industry uses enormous amounts of both water and energy and produces tons of waste. This is despite the fact that scientists have proven that “breastfeeding is nutritionally, immunologically, neurologically, endocrinologically, economically, and ecologically superior to breastmilk substitutes (BMS), and does not require quality control of manufacture, transport, storage, and feeding mechanisms.”2 Breastfeeding materially affects the long term earning and educational potential of infants. The Breastfeeding Series3, an evidence-based report published this year in the Lancet, found that “breastfeeding [is] consistently associated with higher performance in intelligence tests in children and adolescents.” This increase in intelligence quotient (IQ) scores is linked directly to higher earnings throughout adulthood. Breastfeeding also has long term health benefits for children. The Lancet reports that breastfeeding reduces the incidence of type 2 diabetes by as much as 35% and the incidence of obesity by 13%. This, in turn, reduces the burden on public health systems which frees up resources to be used for poverty alleviation.2 Despite all the benefits to both infants and society, less than 7% of South African mothers currently breastfeed exclusively for six months. As such SACSoWACH has committed to accelerate improvement in breastfeeding rates over the next three years, and to both support and monitor the South African National Department of Health’s efforts in this area. “Babies need ‘Mom Made’, not man-made – science proves this conclusively. Because breastmilk is not ‘free’, it costs time and commitment, we need to invest more in building a culture of breastfeeding. We need to support, educate and encourage mothers to keep breastfeeding for at least the first 12 months of their baby’s life,” concludes Witten. To get involved please visit sacsowach.org or e-mail [email protected]

BabyLegends Hugseez

Tummy Time

As a new parent, you have more than likely been told by your doctor that baby needs to always be on his/her back when being put down to sleep or take a nap.  However, it is just as important that baby does spend time on his/her tummy during the day whilst awake and during periods of time where mom or dad can supervise. Babies now spend much of their days on their back on relatively hard surfaces – at night, in a crib or bassinet, or in a bed; during the day, in a pack and play, car-seat and stroller. All of this time on their backs can lead to a flattening of the back of the head. It also leads to weaker neck muscles, as the baby never has a chance to exercise their neck lying on their back. Because of this, baby experts and health professionals now call for a prescribed amount of tummy time for baby each day, allowing baby to strengthen their neck and take the pressure off the back of their head for a while. Since your baby will be spending so much time laying on his/her back, tummy time will help to strengthen their little neck muscles which will ultimately assist in achieving other physical milestones. So what is tummy time, we hear you ask? “Tummy time is when your infant lays on his (or) her stomach while supervised,” says Wendy Wallace, DO, a paediatrician at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Care Network. Tummy time includes a variety of activities, positions, and routines to keep your infant spending a significant amount of time on his/her tummy. Whether or not they enjoy it, and it seems most don’t at first, your baby needs this time to practice lifting their head, then pushing up from the ground. Experts say that they have found that babies who don’t spend time on their tummy’s can experience certain development difficulties with their motor skills. Facing down is an unfamiliar position for baby and so it’s natural for baby to feel uncomfortable and perhaps even abandoned.  And this is where ‘Baby Wearing” is proving to be more beneficial for baby.  “Baby wearing” doubles as tummy time, and if you’re wearing baby for an hour, or a number of hours, each day, they receive much more exercise for their little neck and back than they would have during the prescribed amount of tummy time.  The added benefit is that because baby is being kept of his/her back, there is less chance of developing a flat head. When a baby is in a sling, especially once they are in an upright position, which is possible from birth and ideal from four or six months and up, their core muscles are constantly engaged as their parent moves and goes about their day. Though baby’s body is well-supported, safe and secure in the carrier, small shifts in their parent’s body position cause them to shift as well, in turn strengthening their muscles. They also lift their heads to see or to turn their head, which strengthens their neck in the same way tummy time would. The Hugseez from BabyLegends is an absolute must for baby wearing.  Manufactured in South Africa the Hugseez is highly recommended.  It has been specially designed to carry baby against mom, in the most comfortable and comforting manner.  Baby is kept close to mom’s heart and yes, dad can carry baby in the Hugseez too! Available in colours to suit your taste, you can visit www.babylegends.co.za to place you’re your order.

SA breastmilk reserve

Breastfeeding could save the lives of thousands of infants affected by drought

South Africa is currently suffering one of the worst droughts in recorded history. This poses a major health risk to thousands of infants in drought ridden areas, which can be largely mitigated by simply supporting and encouraging breastfeeding mothers. “Disaster areas are particularly dangerous for infants because their fragile immune systems struggle to cope with stressors like overcrowding, lack of access to clean water and lack of quality medical treatment” says Stasha Jordan, breastfeeding activist and executive director of the South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR). Diarrhoea is rarely fatal in adults, but it kills over 2 million children under the age of 5 each year around the world. Up to 90% of deaths in emergency situations are due to diarrhoea.1 To compound this tragedy, many of these deaths are avoidable through breastfeeding. A stark illustration of this fact is the investigation by the Centre for Disease Classification (CDC) into the deaths of more than 500 children in Botswana in 2005-06 after a major flood. The study found that nearly all the babies who died were formula fed, and that breastfeeding infants were almost entirely spared.2 Some of these deaths result directly from contaminated water, but even access to clean drinking water does not guarantee an infant’s safety. The United Nations Refugee Agency has found that “insufficient water means that containers and utensils used for mixing milk are often dirty, thus making secondary contamination highly probable. [Dried skim milk], [dried whole milk] or infant formula that are reconstituted with contaminated water are ideal media for breeding harmful bacteria.”3 Proper cleaning and sterilising of cleaning implements, surfaces and hands consumes enormous amounts of water. Feeding an infant eight times a day on formula requires 24 litres of clean water per day, and about 170 litres per week.4 Yet each time there is a humanitarian disaster, aid agencies are flooded with donations of breastmilk substitutes. This stems from a widespread misconception that, during disasters, women’s breastmilk is somehow compromised.5 “Many mothers are worried that, during times of stress or hunger, their breastmilk will not be sufficient to provide for their baby’s needs, and so they are swayed into formula feeding by well-meaning aid workers,” says Jordan, “The irony is that continuing to breastfeed is the single most healthy thing that they could do for their child,” she adds Karleen Gribble and Nina Berry, two leading academics on breastfeeding, state unambiguously that “mothers who are exclusively breastfeeding are able to continue to provide food to their infants regardless of the stress they might be experiencing and their own access to food” and that “exclusive breastfeeding could be considered an emergency preparedness activity.”4 Five of our provinces have already been declared disaster areas as a result of the drought, and millions of the country’s poorest people are struggling to access enough clean water. In that context, supporting breastfeeding mothers is more vital than ever. “It is our collective responsibility as a society to ensure that babies who are already being breastfed continue to be and that babies who are not breastfed re-start breastfeeding,” says Jordan. ”Together we can help prevent a humanitarian disaster and save the lives of thousands of infants,” she concludes. To get involved and alleviate the challenges faced by the SABR, including low breastfeeding rates in South Africa, sourcing donor mothers and funding for the operation of the milk-banks, please visit www.sabr.org.za or call 011 482 1920 or e-mail: [email protected]. References: Why infant formula causes deaths due to diarrhoea. Karleen Gribble (2007).   Protecting infants in emergencies: Information for the Media, IFE Core Group   UNHCR policy related to the acceptance, distribution and use of milk products in refugee settings   Emergency preparedness for those who care for infants in developed country contexts, Gribble and Berry, International Breastfeeding Journal (2011)   Supporting breastfeeding in emergencies: protecting women’s reproductive rights and maternal and infant health, Karleen D. Gribble, Marie McGrath, Ali MacLaine and Lida Lhotska

Parenting Hub

Winter skincare tips for your baby

One minute you’re wondering if the blistering heat will ever come to an end and the next you’re leaving home in the dark bundled in layers of warmth. It’s May and autumn has taken hold in South Africa. When it comes to your young ones, the changing seasons bring unwelcome bouts of colds and flu – which are often connected to skin ailments. Su-Marie Annandale from baby skincare brand Krayons has the following tips for common autumn and winter skin ailments: Chapped cheeks and nose can often occur from continued running, and wiping of your child’s nose.  Annandale suggests taking a facecloth soaked in warm water and gently dabbing the affected area. Once the skin is warm, apply Krayons Aqueous Cream gently in upward stokes until it has been absorbed. Follow this same routine two to three times a day to help your little one avoid chapped cheeks. Heat rash sometimes happens when your babe is wrapped up too warmly. You’ll see itchy red bumps arising from the clogging of sweat glands. The best way to combat this is to dress your baby in breathable layers so that one or two layers can be removed if the weather warms-up. Watch out for overheating, especially in little babies. Take time to pamper at bath time. Use this special time with your children to really indulge their skin. In winter, use Krayons Aqueous cream before the bath and rub generously onto your child’s skin. Make sure that the water isn’t too hot and avoid harsh soap products on their skin in the winter months (when skin is especially dry). Once bath time is over, pat the skin dry and apply another layer of cream before dressing. Finish off with a quick swipe of Krayons petroleum jelly on their lips. Don’t forget to use sunscreen throughout the year. The sun can cause unnecessary damage to young skin in summer and winter. Annandale says that your child’s skincare routine in the winter months should be more proactive than reactive. “Keeping your baby or child’s skin adequately moisturised in the cold will make sure that many skin ailments are avoided.” The full range of Krayons products are available at all major retail outlets for between R7,99 for the Krayons soap bar to R32,99 for the 500ml Petroleum Jelly. Ends. Follow Krayons on Facebook : www.facebook.com/krayonsbabies

Mascara and Mimosas

Ten things to do before baby arrives

Well, here I sit, 38, almost 39 weeks pregnant, can you believe it?! The last few weeks are a bit of a roller-coaster of emotions and general craziness: getting all our last ducks in a row before baby arrives, thinking about labour, wondering if I’m going to be a good mom and in Dan and my case, starting to pack up our home. Madness. The last thing you want is to be running around like a headless chicken when you already have so much on your mind (and to do list), so here are my top 10 things to do before your kiddo is in your arms. Finish baby’s room: Get all the painting and assembling and decorating done. It’s a lot of work and I promise you, you will not feel like doing it when you the kid inside of you feels as if it weighs about 20kg and is about to drop out any second. Dan and I aimed to have the room done by the end of my second trimester, and we did… Only to buy a new house that we will be moving into a week or so after baby is due. Yes, we are crazy, don’t be like us. Wash all the baby clothes: “They’re so tiny, how many loads could this possibly be?” I thought to myself one Sunday afternoon. Turns out, 4 loads. Yes 4 loads of baby clothes and blankets and anything else washable. And then another 4 loads after my baby shower. That’s 8 loads to shove in the washing machine, 8 loads to hang up and 8 loads to fold (incredibly neatly if you’re anything like me) and put away. I hate laundry on any normal day, and despite this clothing being so darn cute, by the third load you’re pretty much over it. So block out a week and just do one or two loads a day. Don’t forget to buy the baby washing liquid and if you use softener, use white vinegar instead. Sort out maternity and paternity leave: I don’t have experience in applying for maternity leave and the UIF process that goes along with it but it seems like a mission, especially the UIF part, so my advice would be to get the process going as soon as you can. I know there are agencies that will deal with the nitty gritty for you so definitely consider using them if you can to avoid some stress. When it comes to paternity leave, I think most company’s give 2 or 3 working days. Chat to your partner about when the best time to take those days would be: do you want to use them around the birth or only start the leave the day you return home from the hospital? Try to figure out what will work best for you both as well as baby. Of course, if the employer allows it, you can extend this leave by using annual leave as well. It made me feel so much more at ease once Dan’s paternity leave was booked, knowing that he would be around and knowing exactly when he would be going back to work. Have sex: Yes, there, I said it. Look, I’m not saying that you need to keep to your pre-pregnancy, bend like a pretzel, kitchen counter top ways; but what I am saying is that when the mood strikes, even if ever so slightly, go with it. We all know that sex releases the happy hormones but what is even more important (to me anyway) is that it makes you and your partner feel connected and close again. Besides the normal day-to-day stresses of everyday life, you are both also dealing with the stresses that pregnancy brings and this often tends to take over the relationship forcing intimacy to take a bit of a back seat. If something as simple as sex can help you reconnect, I say do it, quite literally. Yes, you probably feel like you need a forklift to move you and you definitely need to be a bit more creative now that you have a belly in the way, but it’s so worth it.* Have your baby shower: I loved my baby shower so much, I had all my favourite gals with me and it was just a divine morning of food and chatting. What I loved most about my baby shower though, is that I was still able to enjoy it and wasn’t trying to mask uncomfortable Braxton Hicks or acid reflux that seems to now be plaguing me in the last few days. I was about 34 weeks when I had mine and I think anything between 32 weeks and then is a good time. You don’t want to be exhausted and uncomfortable when you should be having a good time if you have it too late. Go shopping and get cooking: I can’t imagine cooking and preparing meals being too high on the priority list once baby is here. What I’ve done is make a few frozen meals that I can whip out after we’ve had Corn Flakes 4 nights in a row. Another good idea is to stock up on your non-perishables. Stuff like tea, coffee, toilet paper, items that won’t go off. I think that this is pretty important – I don’t think you or your partner are going to feel like zooting off to the shops, and if you have a c-section, you usually can’t drive for 6 weeks so going to the shops might not even be an option. On that note though, if you haven’t signed up for online shopping, maybe do that so that if you do need something and can’t get to the shops, you can order online. I would suggest Woolworths and Pick ‘n Pay for groceries and Dischem for goodies for baby. Pack the hospital bags: I won’t go into this too much as I have already done two blog posts and two YouTube videos on

Parenting Hub

Autism and the Senses – A Parent’s Guide

All around the world famous landmarks have been lit up with blue lights – a great way for the world to notice that autism is real, it impacts more people than we can imagine and there is still so much to learn about the condition. Ask any parent, adult, sibling or adolescent living with autism, about what aspect they find most difficult and they will mostly confirm that dealing with the sensory elements of autism is or was their biggest hurdle. At every moment in our 24-hour day, our senses are inundated with new and old sensory input, which gets filtered appropriately in order for one to function effectively. Many autistic children have great difficulty with processing sensory input from the environment, and added to that they have great difficulty communicating what they don’t like about the sensory input. Autistic children are typically sensory sensitive with either low or fluctuating thresholds, meaning that they are hugely affected, (often negatively), by sensory input from their environments. It is just too loud, too bright, too tight or too fast for them. They experience sensory overload on a constant basis and they really battle to cope with this. This video  by the Interacting with Autism Project is a fantastic illustration of what somebody with autism must be experiencing when confronted with sensory overload. Their withdrawal patterns and poor social skills are not necessarily caused by sensory overload, but augmented by their sensory issues. Children on the Autism spectrum need consistency, routine and structure. Unpredictable and sensory overloaded environments (like shops and shopping malls) are very difficult for them to cope with, which typically will cause them to throw tantrums, get aggressive and/or withdraw from such environments. Sensory meltdowns occur when there is some form of discordance that happens in one or more of the sensory systems (touch, taste, sound, sight, smell, movement). Low blood sugar levels are also of relevance, as lowered blood sugar levels heighten all the senses. Remove the child from the distressing environment and take him to a safer and calmer place. Parents should be aware of meltdowns, it happens so quickly and without warning – but try not to over protect them or to shield them from stressful environments. Learn to anticipate which sensory system overloads the quickest and be prepared. Exposure to new and uncomfortable environments needs to be done in a gentle and calculated way (when the child is calm and regulated) as it helps them learn to anticipate, to adapt to and to manage these environments. A portable sensory toolkit can be taken with you whenever you are away from home and can include the following items: Sunglasses (to decrease the effect of bright light). A baseball cap or wide brimmed hat (for decreased visual stimulation). An ice cold water bottle with a sport cap for sucking water or an ice cold juice with a straw. A chewy snack, like biltong, dried fruit, chewing gum. Soundproof headphones for very loud environments. A change of clothing (long-sleeved t-shirt to avoid unwanted touch). Deep bear hugs – for a calming effect. Deep breathing – the universal calmer. One’s senses are thus a vital key to coping with autism – it is the window to their souls and interactions. Understand it, use it wisely and learn to look at people and environments form a sensory point of view.

Baby Jakes Mom

Sleep Safety Guidelines for New Moms 

I am yet to encounter a new mom whose baby sleeps flat on their back. Every time I visit a fellow new mommy friend, they’ve carefully wedged their new baba on their sides, nestled in between those little foam side wedges and sleep positioner’s. Why? Because they’re worried that if their little one is on their back, and spits up in their sleep, they’ll choke to death on their own vomit. Oh moms. Side sleeping hasn’t been recommended for the last 26 years. Back sleeping is the ONLY safe to sleep position for newborns and infants.  That said, allow me to state that I am not inherently paranoid. I let Jake sleep on his tummy for many a day nap (OMG?!? Yes, I just admitted that out loud). And yes, you will find many loose toys in Jake’s cot. And a cot bumper. Nor have I ever used the Angelcare Breathing Mat. (This post should be attached with one of those “Do not try this at home” disclaimers). And now that he is older (and out of the high risk stage), he gets himself into the most obscure sleep positions; twisted and curled like a mini contortionist, face down. Accompanied by his many furry friends (Doo Doo, Doo Doo the 2nd, Kitty, Barney & Bunny). At the end of the day though, I was always fully informed and aware of the risks of SIDS. I’m providing this information for the advancement of your own knowledge. Know the facts. Use common sense and trust your own mommy instincts (because yes, that is a real thing, and yes, you possess it). Also remember that SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is rare. No need for panic. But it’s about being aware, informed and up to date. The information listed below is taken directly from official guidelines as provided by various State and Government departments around the world. I’m just sharing the information so you can make informed mommy decisions of your own. EVER HEARD OF THE BACK / SAFE TO SLEEP CAMPAIGN? It’s a public education campaign used by governments of first world countries to try and decrease the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) – the current leading cause of death among infants.  The Campaign was first introduced in the early 1990’s. Countries which have implemented public health campaigns to promote the use of the back sleep position for infants have reduced their rates of sudden infant death by as much as 80%. In the USA, SIDS rates have decreased by 50% – while Australia has seen an 83% decline. BASIC SAFE SLEEP GUIDELINES: Babies sleep safest on their backs. Babies who sleep on their backs are much less likely to die of SIDS than are babies who sleep on their stomachs or sides. Every sleep time counts. Babies should sleep on their backs for all sleep times—for naps and at night. Never on tummy or side. Babies who are used to sleeping on their backs but who are then placed on their stomachs to sleep, like for a nap, are at very high risk of SIDS. Sleep surface matters. Babies who sleep on a soft surface, such as an adult bed, or under a soft covering, such as a soft blanket or quilt, are more likely to die of SIDS or suffocation. Babies must therefore never be left alone on an adult bed or put to sleep on a sofa, bean bag, waterbed or sagging mattress Keep soft objects, toys, stuffed animals, crib bumpers, and loose bedding out of your baby’s sleep areato reduce the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related causes of infant death. Do not use pillows, wedges, positioners, nests, blankets, quilts, sheepskins, or crib bumpersanywhere in your baby’s sleep area. Evidence does not support using crib bumpers to prevent injury. In fact, crib bumpers can cause serious injuries and even death. Use a firm mattress that fits snuggly in the cot with a fitted crib sheet. Avoid using loose blankets. Do not let your baby get too hot during sleep (Remember that a cold baby will wake from discomfort, a hot baby won’t). Around 18 degrees Celsius is the correct room temperature. Don’t let your baby’s head become covered. To prevent your baby wriggling down under the covers, place them in the “feet to foot” position. This means their feet are at the end (foot) of the crib, cot or Moses basket. Smoking remains the most important modifiable risk factor in reducing the risk of SIDS. Make sure that everyone who cares for your baby uses the safe sleeping recommendations to put your baby to sleep. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: Why should I place my baby on his or her back to sleep? Research shows that the back sleep position is the safest for babies. The back sleep position carries the lowest risk of SIDS. Will my baby choke if placed on his or her back to sleep? No. Healthy babies naturally swallow or cough up fluids—it’s a reflex all people have to make sure their airway is kept clear. Babies might actually clear such fluids better when on their backs because of the location of the windpipe (trachea) when in the back sleep position. Healthy infants protect their airway when placed on their backs, provided that swallowing and arousal mechanisms are normal. Cases of fatal choking are very rare except when related to a medical condition. The number of fatal choking deaths has not increased since back sleeping recommendations began. In most of the few reported cases of fatal choking, an infant was sleeping on his or her stomach. Is it okay if my baby sleeps on his or her side? Side sleeping is not recommended as a safe alternative to sleeping on the back and increases the risk of SIDS. Much (but not all) of the risk associated with the side position is related to the risk of the infant rolling onto their tummy. For this reason, babies should sleep wholly on their backs—the position associated with the lowest SIDS risk. What

The Don Father

The Small-Scale Approach For New Dads

Preparing for the days leading up to baby’s arrival were well planned and organized. We knew what we needed, what the process was going to be and felt quite calm at the fact that we had done our homework. Speed things up a bit and here we are, in the car, driving home from the hospital at 30kms per hour. My first challenge was getting baby into the car seat and actually fastening her in correctly. (Best advice: get to know that car seat back to front beforehand – My wife did ask me to do this…several times) On a morning that was probably around a cool 25 degrees, I found myself in a pool on my own sweat, not sure whether to have the aircon on or the windows open? In the end I couldn’t decide and drove home in what felt like a moving sauna. Leaving the hospital with our new little addition is quite an overwhelming feeling. No more nurses on hand 24 hours a day, you can pretty much say, sh@% just got super real! The feeling of closing the front door once we had arrived home safely can probably be compared to winning a challenge on The Amazing Race. We were home – Now what? Tip # 1: Check the nappy – We had fed baby, burped her and pretty much checked all the boxes but baby was still not happy, after a short while we realized we had forgotten to check her nappy. Once changed, baby passed out immediately. #Winning Tip # 2: Get a heater – I can’t express how effective a simple, fan heater is. Heat the room before bath time and baby will just lie there, enjoying the warmth, never mind the sweat dripping from my forehead, as long as baby is happy…that’s all that matters right? Tip # 3: Relax – Everything is going to be just fine. We tend to be on edge most of the time in the beginning…this feeling does go away, I think! Or maybe I’ve just become accustomed to it!? Tip # 4: Accept help– Family and friends will pop over with delicious dishes of their favourite offerings. Trust me, not having to worry about dinner makes life a lot easier. They will also offer to hang your washing, do the dishes and take out the trash. Accept with open arms – they genuinely want to help. In my pursuit to get some solid advice for new dads, I chatted to Robyn Lawrenson, Deputy Editor at Your Pregnancy Magazine. Check out Robyn’s 5 tips below: Communicate. When baby arrives, mom is going to feel like a slave to him/her. The breastfeeding, changing, soothing, swaddling, rocking, cleaning and preparation never end, and this can overwhelm even the most seasoned mothers in the first few weeks. Listen to her, ask her how she feels, and do everything you can to make her journey a little easier. Go on a date. Even if it’s just a two-hour dinner, it’s important to have time away from baby (who you’ve left with a trusted person) to focus on each other. And, try not to talk about the baby while you’re out! Find your own way to bond with baby. Make bath time, Daddy time. A great way for dads to bond with baby is by taking one job and completely making it your own. This is your special time, and your special job. Plus, it gives mom time to rest / have a shower / watch a rerun of Friends. Etc. Don’t expect her to want to even think about the prospect of sex for the first 6-8 weeks. It’s not safe or recommended, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate in other ways. Give her hugs every day, kiss her, write her notes, tell her you love her, and what a good job she’s doing. These little forms of affection go a long way in boosting her confidence and ensuring you stay close during the first few weeks. Speak to your employer about you paternity leave. In SA, according to labour law, fathers are only permitted three days of paternity leave. So, plan for this in advance so that you can accumulate some leave while your wife is still pregnant. This way, you can at least spend the first week together. There you have it, now go forth and be awesome!

Paarl Dietitians

Weight, Fertility and Pregnancy

Getting your body ready for baby-making isn’t only about tossing your birth control and charting your ovulation. It’s also about laying the nutritional foundation for healthy baby building. Begin your eating-well campaign even before you conceive (technically these are your first weeks of pregnancy) and you’ll be doing yourself (and your soon-to-be embryo) a favour. Begin making healthy changes 3 months to a year before you conceive. Evidence shows that healthy nutrition and fertility is linked in both men and women. The ultimate goal is a healthy pregnancy, and this depends upon good quality eggs and sperm. There is increasing evidence to show that diet and lifestyle can directly impact on your fertility health not only for conception but also for your baby’s development. When it comes to getting pregnant, the old adage “you are what you eat” rings true. What you eat affects everything from your blood to your cells to your hormones. WEIGHT AND FERTILITY If you’re trying to get pregnant, or intend to start trying, know that weight can affect your chances of conceiving and having a healthy baby. Twelve percent of all infertility cases are a result of a woman either weighing too little or too much. Women who are overweight or obese have less chance of getting pregnant overall. They are also more likely than women of healthy weight to take more than a year to get pregnant. Research has shown that being underweight or being overweight and obese can lead to fertility problems by creating hormonal disturbances. The main ingredient in the body weight and fertility mix is oestrogen (a sex hormone produced in fat cells). A woman with too little body fat can’t produce enough oestrogen and her reproductive cycle begins to shut down. Often causes irregular menstrual cycles and may cause ovulation to stop altogether. If a woman has too much body fat, the body produces too much oestrogen and may also lead to irregular menstrual cycles and ovulation. However, even obese women with normal ovulation cycles have lower pregnancy rates than normal weight women, so ovulation isn’t the only issue. Research indicated that weight also impacts on the success of donor egg cycles. There is good scientific evidence that obesity lowers the success rates of in vitro fertilisation (IVF). Studies have further shown lower pregnancy rates and higher miscarriage rates in obese women. How do I know if I am a good weight for pregnancy? One of the easiest ways to determine if you are underweight or overweight is to calculate your body mass index (BMI).  A BMI between 19 and 24 is considered normal; less than 18.5 is considered underweight. A BMI between 25 and 29 is considered overweight and greater than 30 places you in the category of obese. Reporting in the journal Human Reproduction, researchers documented a 4% decrease in conception odds for every point in BMI above 30. For women whose BMI was higher than 35, there was up to a 43% overall decrease in the ability to conceive. Your BMI alone is not the only thing to watch, however. Your body fat percentage and waist circumference is also important. Bottom line: you need a certain amount of fat to conceive since body fat produce oestrogen. Waist circumference is an indication of visceral fat (excess of body fat in the abdomen). A waist circumference >88cm in a women and >102cm in a man is associated with reduced fertility, an increased risk for insulin resistance (associated with PCOS in women) and other chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure. Are there fertility problems in men with obesity? Obesity in men may be associated with changes in testosterone levels and other hormones important for reproduction. Low sperm counts and low sperm motility (movement) have been found more often in overweight and obese men than in normal-weight men. How much weight should one lose? Even a small 3-5% weight loss can reduce insulin resistance by 40-60% and improve fertility. How quickly will I lose or gain weight? Healthy weight gain or loss is regarded as 500g to 1kg per week. It is therefore gradual and one can expect that six months will be required to restore normal reproductive function and pregnancy. IMPORTANT: Avoid going on fad diets, which can deplete your body of the nutrients it needs for pregnancy and find a weight-loss plan that works for you by talking to a registered dietitian. EXCESS WEIGHT AND PREGNANCY If a woman is obese when falling pregnant, it increases the risk of pregnancy complications and health problems for the baby. Obese women are at an increased risk for developing pregnancy-induced (gestational) diabetes and high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia). The risk of pre-eclampsia doubles in overweight women and triples in obese women. Overweight women have twice the risk of gestational (pregnancy-related) diabetes and obese women eight times the risk, compared with women of healthy weight. A woman who is obese is more than twice as likely to have a miscarriage as a woman of healthy weight. Sadly, there is twice the risk that her baby will not survive. Infants born to obese women are more likely to be large for their age and therefore have a higher chance of delivering by caesarean section. Afterwards the baby may need neonatal intensive care or have a congenital abnormality. Recovery following birth is also more problematic and there is the increased risk of poor wound healing and possible infections. WHAT TO DO? Eating a healthy and balanced diet is crucial when preparing to conceive or you are already pregnant. A balanced diet is one that is rich in good quality protein, low in Glycaemic Index (GI), low in sugar, salt, caffeine and industrially created trans-fats (trans-fatty acids or partially hydrogenated oil). Make clever Protein choices – choose lean protein. Rethink refined carbs and sugar – choose low glycaemic index (GI) carbohydrates and also limit your total daily carbohydrate intake based on your specific metabolic rate. This is especially important if you

Parenting Hub

Paternity Leave

At the risk of being ostracised, mercilessly, I feel we need to start looking at and changing paternity leave regulations. “Three days are more than enough. It’s not like you were pregnant, gave birth or have to breastfeed.” I have heard this argument more than once over the last few weeks. It just does not hold water for me and here is why. The labour law in South Africa allows a mother the following rights: Number of Leave Days Pregnant workers are entitled to at least 4 consecutive months of maternity leave. Based on Legislation in Section 25, of the Basic Conditions of Employment Act Timing of Leave Workers may take maternity leave 1 month before their due date, or earlier or later as agreed or required for health reasons. Workers may not go back to work within 6 weeks after the birth unless their doctor or midwife say it is safe. Based on Legislation in Section 25, of the Basic Conditions of Employment Act Based on the above it would seem that the leave is given due to medical reasons. Hence the clause that a mother may not be forced to return to work within the first 6 weeks after birth, the minimum amount of time required to recover from a C-section. I want to state clearly that I agree fully with the laws pertaining to maternity leave. I have an issue with the following law however: Number of Leave Days Full time workers may take 3 days of paid family responsibility leave during each annual leave cycle (12 month periods from date of employment). Family responsibility leave expires at the end of the annual cycle. Based on Legislation in Section 27, of the Basic Conditions of Employment Act Reasons for Leave You may take family responsibility leave: When your child is born There are further conditions as to when you may take family responsibility leave, but I would like to focus on the one mentioned above.  If you and your wife/partner have a child you are allowed only three days leave every 12 months. These three days must be split up between the day of the birth and then any doctor’s appointments you might have where the baby is sick.  Keep in mind this does not include the three clinic appointments and 6 week check-ups that you and baby have to attend as they are regular appointments and do not fall under family responsibility. Let us look at a practical example, mine: Our little angel was born on a Thursday. We went in for induction at 06:00 a.m. and she was born at 11:18 a.m. The days leave I had to take counts as day 1 of family responsibility.  Our little one had jaundice and had to stay in the hospital until the Monday before we could take her home. Family responsibility day 2.  I now have 1 family responsibility day left for the rest of the year. This includes days that I might have to take my child to the doctor if she is sick. I took two weeks of my leave, that I saved by not taking leave in December, to stay home with my partner and help her with our baby. I am now in a situation where I have no leave days, and 1 family responsibility day left. Even if I took no other leave day for a year I would have a maximum of 12 days left for the year.  Luckily we had a natural birth. If Jani were to have had a C-section and be unable to drive for 6 weeks, we would really have been in trouble. Big corporate companies like Facebook have identified this same issue and are now allowing up to 6 months paid paternity leave within the first year after your child is born. He decision was made to allow fathers to spend quality time with their baby, growing a healthy family unit. Unfortunately this is the exception and not the rule. The current paternity leave laws are sexist and they represent a misguided stigma that fathers do not want to spend time with their children. I believe we as parents should unite in requesting the law makers to amend these archaic laws and allow fathers to be fathers and assist in the raising of their children. As a father I want to be part of my child’s life, but without the proper laws in place to allow me to do so, I am forced to leave my partner to cope with the stress of doctors appointments, sick days, etc. on her own.  

Megan Kelly Botha

3 Beauty Hacks found at the bottom of your Diaper Bag

Often, I find myself in a beauty aisle deciding whether the R200 spent on a body oil is actually worth the splurge but usually end up settling on the idea that I would much rather spend the same amount on a bag of nappies because who would want soft skin and wet patches of carpet throughout their house, anyway? Baby products are designed in a way that they only contain the mildest ingredients to ensure that even the most sensitive skin is nourished and taken care of. It got me thinking that maybe it’s time we swap out our usual expensive “adult” products for baby products which will not only mean we’d be taking better care of ourselves with the use of gentle products, but perhaps saving a buck or two for the next pack of nappies or I don’t know… a new lipstick? Here’s a list of three seemingly normal baby products, found at the bottom of my son’s diaper bag, which pack a number of uses and beauty hacks and has prompted me to adding them to my beauty shelf. Baby Powder I bet that you have a lot of unused baby powder, don’t you? Baby powder is really versatile and can help remove oil stains from clothes, absorb dampness in smelly gym shoes or bags, cool your bed sheets in summer and remove beach sand from your skin with the greatest of ease but it also packs a host of beauty functions too. Try dusting a thin layer of baby powder to your lashes in between coats of mascara, to get voluminous lashes that will have everyone wondering what’s your trick.  The baby powder adds thickness and length by clinging on to the lashes that are already coated in a layer of mascara. Improve the longevity of your lipstick by applying your lipstick as usual, and then placing a tissue over your lips before dusting baby powder around the lip area (using a powder brush). Apply a second coat of lipstick to top it off and enjoy longer lasting lip coverage. If you’ve nicked yourself after shaving and are struggling to stop it from bleeding, apply a dash of baby powder which will help clot the blood and stop it from bleeding everywhere. Baby Oil Baby oil restores lost moisture and is especially great during the winter months, by adding just a few drops to your bath water, it can help hydrate skin and leave it feeling smoother and softer all day long. Other uses for baby oil includes removing makeup as the oil helps to gently break down water-proof lip and eye products, which is where the skin tends to be the most sensitive. It is also a great post-shaving product and helps to soften cracked or dry heels. Bum Cream It shouldn’t shock you that baby bum cream is a great way to reduce redness, hence it works so well on bum rashes, but the cream can also be used as a spot treatment and works to treat acne or reduce any red blotchiness. You can also use baby bum creams like Sudocrem to prep and prime your face, to ensure that the coverage of your foundation is long lasting. Lastly, if you find your foundation is a little darker than you’d like, try adding a dash of bum cream (colourant free) to help lighten the formula. That wraps up the beauty hacks that you can find at the bottom of your diaper bags. Have you heard of any of these before? I’d love to know which you will be making use of soon. Like my beauty tips? Instead of giving into my broodiness, I committed to an entire year of sharing beauty tips daily on social media. Check out #365BeautyTips or follow me on Instagram: @byMeganKelly to see more!

Parenting Hub

SLEEP, BREASTFEEDING AND YOUR BABY- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE

When should my little one be sleeping through? Every baby and toddler has a unique sleeping and feeding pattern, so be careful of comparing your schedule with that of other moms. If you are comfortable and happy with how things are going, then there is no need to worry or intervene. This is a very rough guide if you aren’t sure what to expect: Newborn – 15-17H sleep in 24H, waking every 2-4 hours for feeding 0 – 3 Months – 4H sleep in 24H, with about 3 naps in the day and waking up 0-3 times at night for feeding. Longer night sleeps (about 5 hours) established by the end of 3 months. 3 – 6 Months – 3H in 24H, still napping about 3 times a day and waking 0-3 times at night. 6 – 12 Months – 13H in 24H, napping about twice a day. Night waking may increase in this period, although baby will only need 1 or 2 night feedings. 12 – 24 Months – 13H sleep in 24H, with about 1 daily nap and 1 night-time waking. Breastmilk or formula milk? Even though every mom knows “breast is best”, after 7 nights of not sleeping due to a hungry baby, it can be tempting to supplement with formula milk, which many believe keep their baba more satisfied. It is true that formula milk is more difficult to digest than breastmilk, which means night feeds won’t need to be as frequent in formula fed babies. However, this doesn’t mean that breast milk is insufficient – far from it. In fact, one of breastmilk’s countless benefits is that it changes composition at night to help your little one sleep better. Night breastmilk has increased concentrations of tryptophan which increases serotonin, the neurotransmitter that will keep baby calm and sleeping. A study in 2010 showed that whether a mother breastfeeds, formula feeds, or combines the two, it makes no difference to how much sleep she gets. Night-waking for breastfeeding and comfort are perfectly normal; however, if it is making life difficult for mom and is affecting the family, night weaning is possible – consult a professional about doing it in a way that is healthy for baby and the family. Is my breastmilk really enough? Mother’s milk is sufficient and perfect for baby under 6 months. However, babies may wake up hungry if they are getting inconsistent and unsatisfying feeds throughout the day. Ironically, giving formula milk or cereal at night instead of breastfeeding will inhibit supply of breastmilk, perpetuating the problem. Breastfeed on demand throughout the day to ensure regular and adequate nutrition. If you have to be away from little one for a few hours, express milk in between feeds. Folklore suggests that drinking a glass of wine or beer, especially before the last breastfeed of the day, improves milk supply and helps baby sleep. Research shows that while alcohol in your breastmilk does make baby fall asleep faster, it results in shorter sleep times – not very helpful at all! And while the occasional single serving of alcohol is safe during breastfeeding, consistent and regular alcohol consumption can affect neurological and motor development. Good news is that moms shouldn’t have to give up their precious morning coffee – studies show that a moderate intake of caffeine (up to 5 cups of coffee) has no impact on baby’s sleep patterns, especially if you consumed caffeine regularly during pregnancy. Trust your instincts – if you can see baby becoming more alert and restless after a lot of caffeine, then try decreasing your intake. What about solids? A night feed of baby cereal, or even cereal in a bottle throughout the night, can seem like the perfect solution to an exhausted mommy, even when baby is younger than the recommended weaning age of 4-6 months. Unfortunately, research shows that cereal has no impact on baby’s sleeping duration, and in fact introducing solids before 4 months may shorten sleep duration until 2 years of age! Besides this, feeding infant cereals too early carries several risks, including impaired growth and development, nutrient deficiencies, risk of overweight later in life, and choking (especially if fed from a bottle throughout the night). Adequate iron, magnesium or zinc is essential for a good night’s sleep – make sure that you are getting enough of these minerals in your diet, or via a good supplement, while breastfeeding. After 6 months, include sources of these minerals (animal meats, iron-fortified grains, nut butters, legumes, dark green vegetables) in your child’s solids, or supplement with a health professional’s guidance. Give it time! There are many reasons for night waking, from illness to simply seeking contact with mom or dad. Waking at night is normal for infants, and they will eventually grow out of it as part of normal development!

Parenting Hub

Easy Hydration For Breastfeeding Moms

Many of us moms give a lot of thought to eating well while we are breastfeeding, knowing that we are passing on the very nutrients we consume to our precious bundles of joy.  However, apart from avoiding alcohol and minimising our caffeine intake, less thought may be given to what we might be drinking on a day to day basis.  The nutritional impact of what we drink is one important consideration; the other is that it is also vital for breastfeeding moms to stay properly hydrated. Common advice includes ensuring you get the recommended eight to ten glasses of fluids a day; to drink a glass of water at each breastfeeding session and to give preference to caffeine-free rooibos tea.  Fresh fruit and vegetable juices, that are free of preservatives and other chemical additives, also frequently get the nod of approval from nutritionists. However, when it comes to hydration strategies for breastfeeding moms, there’s a new kid on block that is grabbing global attention; and that’s coconut water.  Due to its phenomenal electrolyte content, pure coconut water is an isotonic drink which is more hydrating than water.  Now more easily available in South Africa, coconut water provides breastfeeding moms with a refreshingly different and completely health-filled option when it comes to avoiding dehydration. Unlike coconut milk and coconut cream which are derived from the meat of ripe coconuts; coconut water is the almost clear fluid contained in young, green coconuts.  It’s a traditional, staple drink of islanders in the tropics that has been highly valued for centuries for its restorative and health-giving properties.  Coconut water is packed with the essential electrolytes, potassium, magnesium, calcium, sodium and phosphorus, which our body needs for all major functions, from muscles and nerves to heart and brain.  It is common for breastfeeding moms to feel fatigued, and coconut water is the ideal energy-boosting pick-me-up that is free of chemical additives. Coconut water is also rich in vitamins, particularly the B vitamins, as well as trace minerals such as zinc, selenium and manganese.  It is full of amino acids, enzymes and health-boosting plant hormones known as cytokinins.  It is known for its soothing effect on the digestive system and its active support of a well-functioning immune system.  If this wasn’t enough, coconut water happens to be a wonderfully low-calorie option.  It is virtually fat free and very low in natural sugar, which is just perfect for moms trying to shed those last few pregnancy kilos. In order to optimise on all the fantastic goodness that natural coconut water offers, it is important to read the products’ labels and be aware of the sources of this ‘elixir of Nature’.   Avoid options that are derived from concentrates or that include additives such as sugar or preservatives.  Recently launched in South Africa, CocoZone is a brand that offers 100% pure coconut water that is extracted and tetra-packed for freshness at the source, which is a single origin plantation farmed without the use of chemical fertilisers, herbicides and pesticides. If you are feeling bored with yet another glass of water during breastfeeding, or you have resolved to cut high calorie drinks out of your diet while you are breastfeeding, consider reaching for refreshing taste from tropics that is nothing but good for you, and good for baby too! For more information or to find your nearest stockist please visit www.cocozone.com

Parenting Hub

Latching A Premature Baby

Congratulations, your baby has arrived! But she’s a little earlier than expected. You will most likely find yourself in very unfamiliar territory. Your baby is hooked up to machines and you have been discharged from hospital without her. Things are not going as you thought they would and quite frankly it can all be very scary. One of the first questions you may be asking is… when and how can I breastfeed my baby? Firstly, breastmilk is absolutely the best food for your baby. The sooner she can get it, the better. If your baby has been taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), it is important that you begin expressing within 3 hours following birth. The hospital should have an excellent grade of breast pump sterile and ready for you to use. They will also be able to guide you regarding storage of breastmilk for your baby. The sucking and swallowing reflexes do not fully mature until about 36 weeks gestation. Your baby will need to be able to coordinate these reflexes simultaneously in order to drink milk. For this reason, your baby may be fed your expressed colostrum and later breastmilk through a nasogastric tube (a tube that is fed through the nose and directly into your baby’s stomach) until she is ready and able to latch. At this stage, it is a good idea to offer your baby a dummy during feeds. By doing this, your baby will learn to associate suckling with the feeling of fullness. If you are able, you can also hold your baby at your breast during tube feedings. Work closely with hospital staff as well as a qualified lactation consultant during this time as they will be able to determine when your baby is ready to nurse.  In the mean time, continue to express every 3 hours during the day and every 4 to 5 hours at night in order generate a good milk supply. You may also want to ask your healthcare professional to help you spend some time with your baby in Kangaroo Care – this has been proven to not only speed up growth and development in premature babies but also to help establish and maintain successful breastfeeding. Time To Latch The time has come and you have finally been given the go ahead to latch and feed your baby. Bear in mind that this will generally be a slow and easy process. One feed at a time and often this feed will be interspersed with much resting in-between. This is a season when you and your baby are getting to know one another and feeding can initially take lots of practice until you both get it right. Feeds will start with just one a day at your baby’s happiest time of day and gradually be built up over a few days until your baby is strong enough to come off of the nasogastric tube and breastfeed completely. Ideally one should sit comfortably in a quiet and private area, close to any equipment that is needed. Use pillows to support your back and another to support your baby. Be sure to avoid any unnecessary stimulation such as bright lights, loud noises, stroking, rocking or even talking to your baby – this can all be very overwhelming for your baby. remember that learning this new skill of feeding at the breast requires a great deal of energy and attention from your baby. Some mothers find it best to express a little before attempting to feed as this will encourage the let down reflex without baby having to work too hard. The cradle hold is favoured by most perm babies as well as their mothers. Hold your baby at the same level as your breast, supporting her entire body with your forearm. Use your free hand for additional support on her neck and shoulders. Once baby has latched you can remove this additional support and relax. Make sure that tiny hands and arms are out of the way as this can cause unnecessary frustration for both you and your baby. Gently guide your baby’s mouth towards your nipple stroking her top lip to encourage latching. Unless part of your breast is actually touching your baby’s face, she will not know that the breast is there. Because of the immature neurological system of  preterm infant, your baby may not open her mouth automatically to latch right away. Gently moving your baby’s face away from the breast and then bringing her back might help. Alternatively, you can try pulling down on her chin with one finger and waiting for her tongue to drop down to the base of her mouth before gently guiding her to latch. If this method still does not work or if it is needed for more than a couple of attempts, it would be wise to make use of a nipple shield until your baby is able to respond appropriately. Try to refrain from holding your breast with your free hand while feeding as this can limit baby’s ability to latch resulting in poor milk transfer and possibly, sore nipples. Avoid touching your baby’s face while feeding. Her routing reflex will develop at around 33 weeks gestation and touching the cheeks, lips or chin may cause your baby to turn towards your touch rather than towards your breast. If your little one’s nose is pressed up against your breast, do not push your breast in to make space as this may cause her to come off the breast. Rather, gently adjust your elbow and tuck her bottom in closer to you – this should angle her nose up giving her space to breathe. Should your baby experience gulping or choking, adjust her position to make sure that her head is now lying higher than her tummy. If this does not help, you may want to express a little before attempting to feed as this will allow your baby to nurse with a less intense milk flow until

Good Night Baby

To Chiro Or Not To Chiro

By Dr. Nicole Louw MTech Chiropractic (UJ) MCASA Is chiropractic safe for my children? Why should my child get checked, she feels fine? You have your children’s teeth checked, and most schools do an eye and hearing exam yearly, so why don’t you have regular health check ups? Children’s bodies are physically weaker than adults, so they have a better chance of experiencing spinal subluxations (a vertebrae out of place that is pinching a nerve and causing problems) while doing every day activities. Why wait till your child is sick to bring them into the chiropractor? Subluxations can exist for a long time without causing any pain, but deficiencies in other areas, while they may not be noticeable, may be present the entire time. Let’s start from the beginning. The very beginning, before your child is even born. You should be receiving spinal checkups as often as weight check ups. Subluxations cause uneven blood flow to parts of your body, including the uterus. If your baby isn’t getting enough blood, they may not be getting enough oxygen, which is more important during the development process than you think. Lack of oxygen to the uterus can cause several complications early in infancy, which could lead to such tragic events as SIDS. Next we’ll look at when the baby is born. A newborn’s spine can be twisted and turned from birth. As hard as labor is on the mother, think of how hard it is on the baby! Abraham Towbin, MD states: “The birth process…is potentially a traumatic, crippling event… mechanical stress imposed on obstetrical manipulation—even the application of standard orthodox procedures may prove intolerable to the foetus…most signs of neonatal injury observed in the delivery room are neurological…” Now, we’ll look at the infants first week. Research is ongoing, and with each study done, more and more credit is being given to chiropractic health care in the importance of the health of children. In a study done on 1,250 infants who were examined five days after birth, 211 of them were experiencing vomiting, hyperactivity, and sleeplessness, and subluxations were found in 95% of them. The researchers in this study were all Medical Doctors (MD’s) and they all recognised the power of chiropractic. The babies were given the spinal care they needed, and it worked. The researchers (remember, these are MD’s we’re talking about) noted that the spinal adjustment resulted in “immediate quieting,  cessation of crying, and muscular relaxation and sleepiness.” Chiropractic and Colic Colic. One of the worst words a parent of a newborn can hear. Your baby cries for hours on end and there is nothing you can do about it. What’s worse than the disturbing, high pitched screaming that doesn’t stop and has no apparent cause, is the fact that there is nothing you can do to help your child when it sounds like they need help the most. It’s heartbreaking to hear your baby screaming like it’s in pain, and being able to do nothing about it. Well, almost nothing. This is where chiropractic comes in. If your baby experienced a longer pushing stage, or any type of assisted delivery (i.e. – forceps, vacuum, etc.) there is a good chance that they have subluxations. Babies with significant enough subluxations, or subluxations in certain areas, may have big problems, and they can’t tell you about them. Because of these subluxations, major systems in the body may not function correctly, such as the digestive system, and your baby may not be able to digest breast milk like he or she should, possibly causing gas and bloating. The flexed legs, clenched fists, and tensed abdominal muscles point to a pain in the abdominal region, but that hasn’t been proven. What has been proven, however, is that chiropractic adjustments can work. Medical doctors (those you would find at a hospital) may prescribe dimethicone drops, or gas drops, that are the standard, and vastly ineffective treatment. Others may say it’s a sensitivity to breast milk and may advise providing a lactose-free milk, which has also proven to be ineffective. Studies done at the University of Southern Denmark have reported that colicky babies who received chiropractic care cried far less than those receiving the standard gas drops prescribed by medical doctors. This study was done on behalf of the National Health Service, and found chiropractic to have no negative side effects on infants, which is “standard” for chiropractic! Another study was done in South Africa, by Mercer and Cook. In this study, 30 infants who were medically diagnosed as having colic, were randomly divided into two groups. One group received chiropractic care while the other did not. Each infant in the study was 0-8 weeks old and diagnosed with colic by a paediatrician. For this study, the group who received chiropractic care received it for two weeks with a six adjustment maximum. The results were impressive. In the group who received chiropractic care, 93% had completely resolved symptoms in just the two week period. A little shorter than the “wait 3 months for it to run its course” plan that most medical doctors will tell you. Something even more impressive was the one month follow up assessment. The infants who received chiropractic care had seen no symptoms one month after receiving chiropractic care. For those of you who don’t feel comfortable relying on studies done in different countries (although much medical research comes from other countries), here is one from the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics. It is a randomised clinical trial published in 1999, and in this study, researchers assigned infants diagnosed with colic into two groups, one to receive chiropractic care for two weeks and the other to receive the popular (and basically ineffective) anti-gas medication dimethicone for two weeks. The babies receiving chiropractic treatment showed a decrease of 68% in crying, while the other group only showed a decrease of 38%. Chiropractic care is a conservative, gentle, and very successful option for treating infants with colic. Chiropractic adjustments for infants are specific, gentle, and safe. In the hands of an experienced chiropractor, many infants sleep right through the adjustment. An infant adjustment utilises no more pressure than someone applying make up to their face. Next time you are told “there is nothing you can do except wait it out,” just smile, nod, and bring your child right to the chiropractor, because a healthy baby makes a happy home.

Parenting Hub

Quick Tips For Storing Breast Milk

 Express breast milk, using a manual or electric breast pump. Wash your hands well with soap and water before handling the pre-sterilised bag. Mark each bag with the date and time when you expressed the milk. Tear open the bag horizontally along the perforated edge at the top, in the direction of the arrowhead. Hold the opened bag with one hand and use the other hand to pour the freshly expressed breast milk into the bag slowly, not filling the bag beyond 150ml. Before sealing the bag, squeeze out the air and use your fingers to zip close the bag. For best results, keep the bag upright, in a separate hard sided container until the milk has frozen. Store breast milk bag in the back of the fridge for 24 hours or back of freezer for 3 months. How do I thaw frozen breast milk? Always thaw/defrost the oldest breast milk first. Check the date and time written on each bag. Thaw the frozen milk overnight in the fridge, or, for immediate use, immerse the bag in warm (not hot) water until the milk is fully defrosted. Pour the milk into a sterilised feeding bottle, feeding cup or spoon. Never thaw frozen milk at room temperature, as this will enable bacteria to multiply in the milk. Never thaw breast milk in a microwave oven or boiling water. This will reduce the milk’s nutrients. Only warm the milk after it has been thawed/defrosted. Thawed milk can be stored in a fridge for up to 24 hours. Discard any remaining milk. Don’t refreeze thawed or partially thawed breast milk. Pre-sterilised, sealable storage bags In the first few days after delivery, breasts can become engorged with excess milk and mothers may find it convenient to express and store their breast milk for later use. But some of the storage products on the market are very expensive and it is not a viable option for everyone.

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What NOT to Buy Or Add To Your Baby Registry

I have shopped for two failed adoptions and my  baby so you could say I have had some experience with shopping for a baby.  Excitement can quickly lead to buyer’s remorse and your house full of crap.  Mothers are a marketing executive dreams. They know just how to make you feel like your child will miss out without their product.  I am also pretty sure no new mum will listen to any of this… A HUGE pram Prams are like cars.  We want the coolest looking one that looks like a little baby hotel for our precious.  Now baby is here and you realise that lovely pram with all the extras weighs as much as a smart car and you need to be a Sumo wrestler to put the pram in your boot.  That’s if it even fits. What to get instead:  There are some great lightweight pushchairs that are suitable from birth reclines to almost flat.  If you really must just get the all frills baby hotel buy it second hand . Baby bath  They will outgrow this so fast that it’s not worth the bother and just another thing you need to list on Gumtree or fill up the space where your car is supposed to be. What to get instead:  Purchase an inexpensive bath support or get into the bath with the baby providing additional bonding time with your newborn. Nappy bin This special bin that deals with stinky nappies is a coveted item for most expectant mothers.  I was no exception.  I was ready to sign a community property contact with my bad boy. I am convinced this is a clever marketing tool to suck you into buying ridiculously expensive cartridge refills. Just like drug dealers Marketers Know the real money is in the come-back. What to get instead:  Scented nappy packets  and a simple lidded nappy bucket will do the trick.  If you must have one, You can have mine. Changing table  You will end up changing your baby on the bed and everywhere else with a changing mat within the first three months.  Been there done that got the t-shirt! Baby shoes Kennedy had 15 pairs of adorable shoes.  Some were designer shoes and she couldn’t even walk yet.  Do you think Kennedy gave a monkeys that they cost more than any shoes I have ever owned… nope.  She fussed so much every time I put them on. What to get instead: Socks are enough. She is 14 months and only recently stopped kicking off her shoes. Lots of newborn sized clothes At this point I am starting to sound like a buzz kill.  This is all the fun about being pregnant.  The ooh-ing and aah-ing at those teeny little money wasters. Marketing execs know how much we want a mini-me. Why do you think a newborn can now wear skinny jeans and leather jackets? What to get instead: Wait for the gifts and then wait till your baby can walk before making them tiny trendsetters.  Baby growers is all they need until then. Bottle warmer  Ugh. Just run the bottles under hot water already! What to get instead: nothing. A cot bumper Something about having a baby makes us mothers have a penchant for  matching items… that is the lure.  A tiny duvet with the tiny pillow just doesn’t seem enough of a set. I still can’t understand why these are actually still being sold.  The second you hear about SIDS (and for every paranoid second thereafter), it’s game over for these little death traps. I have yet to find a parenting or medical site that has anything good to say about bumpers. Just another thing for you to wash. What to get instead: nothing. Tons of toys for a tiny baby Newborns don’t need them and will spend most of their time sleeping, feeding and gazing at you!  If you really do need stuffed animals you can come to my house and collect these dust collectors. What to get instead: After three months I would get a few noisemakers and then add once they crawling and can actually interact with your surroundings. Newborn-sized feeding bottles Baby feeding bottles in a smaller size designed for newborns become useless in very little time. What to get instead: Normal size bottles 260ml and buy a few slow release teats if you need to. Scaled-down Baby Wardrobe Let’s just be honest here…they will not be willing to or able to hang their own clothing until they can reach a normal sized one anyway. What to get instead: Normal-sized bedroom furniture and add a small step stool for higher shelves once they are older. Baby Cartoon curtains and wallpaper Just don’t it!  I promise your baby will not complain that their nursery was not cute enough. If you can’t imagine the design on the wall of a six-year-olds bedroom, It’s a waste! What to get instead: An age-neutral design for anything expensive is a good idea and add ‘baby appeal’ with removable pictures and accessories.

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Colic – Transient Lactase Deficiency

It can be incredibly distressing to hear your baby crying endlessly with colic, yet feel unable to stop it.  Colic is defined as repeated episodes of excessive and inconsolable crying for at least 3 hours per day, at least 3 days per week.  The condition can affect between 5 to 20% of babies typically starting in the first weeks of life and tends to resolve by three to four months. It is generally unknown what causes colic.  One possible cause, which has been researched, is a transient lactase deficiency which may occur due to some babies being born with an immature digestive system.  A deficiency of lactase enzyme in the small intestine results in the inability of the body to fully digest the milk-sugar lactose.  This causes undigested lactose in milk to be broken down by bacterial activity in the bowel which can result in severe discomfort, bloatedness and wind.  By the time the baby is 3 to 4 months old their digestive system usually develops sufficiently to produce adequate levels of lactase enzyme. Research at Cork University Hospital in the early 1990s demonstrated that a lactase-reduced feed was effective in reducing infant colic and the hours of crying.  This was presented to the Royal College of Paediatricians and confirmed in a larger study completed at Guys Hospital, England and published in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics in October 2001. Essentially, drops containing lactase, an enzyme which occurs naturally within the body, are added to the feed and work by breaking down most of the lactose in the baby’s usual milk before the baby is fed, making the feed more digestible.  The drops can be added either to some expressed breast milk or with infant formula.  If the baby is lactase deficient a real benefit is that the colic symptoms are prevented rather than trying to treat the symptoms in a stressful situation. Colief infant drops, the lactase drops, used in these trials are available in South Africa.  For some mothers these drops may help facilitate continued breastfeeding and save having to switch to special formula milks.  The drops are used until the baby is approximately three to four months old, by which time their digestive system will be producing their own lactase enzyme and the symptoms of colic should have disappeared. For more information: http://www.skymedsa.co.za/colief-infant-drops-scalp-oil-vitamin-d-drops email:  [email protected]

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Health Benefits Of Breastfeeding

Becoming a new mom is an exciting time, but can also be daunting as you make numerous decisions before the big arrival. Of course, one of these is breastfeeding! Advice comes from loved ones, doctors, strangers and, of course, Google. Ultimately however, you have to make the best decision for yourself and the new addition. With that, comes the need to understand the benefits of breastfeeding as well as how you can incorporate breastfeeding into your life so that… well, you still have one! Health and emotional benefits Breastfeeding is proven to provide many health benefits. In fact, benefits of breastfeeding extend well beyond basic nutrition. In addition to containing all the vitamins and nutrients your baby needs in the first 6 months of life, breast milk is packed with disease-fighting substances that provide defence against illnesses and allergies. In pre-term babies, breastfeeding can not only reduce the risk of inflammation and infection in the tummy, but also protect them from infection. For full-term babies, it reduces the risk of stomach bugs, coughs and colds as well as middle-ear infections. Additionally, breast milk may also help children avoid a host of diseases that strike later in life such as eczema, diabetes and childhood leukaemia. In addition to the nutritional advantages, breastfeeding also provides health and emotional benefits to you as it helps the womb return to its normal size, while reducing the risk of ovarian and breast cancer, as well as osteoporosis. From the emotional side, breastfeeding also helps you maintain the close relationship that you have built with your baby. In fact, especially when you return to work, breastfeeding can help you deal with the separation emotionally as you continue to nurture and provide for your child as only you can. Mothers who are unhappy about being separated from their baby have found that continuing to breastfeed has helped them to cope better emotionally. Being separated from your baby for any length of time can be traumatic. In many cases, working moms experience separation anxiety when they first returned to work. Getting back to ‘normal life’ Most mothers return to work simply because they feel they have to. Whether it is by choice or necessity, working mothers need any help they can get when trying to juggle work and being a full time mom. Some moms feel like they are pressured into breastfeeding and that their lives are on hold while this happens. The good news, though, is that there are options available today that ensure you can experience the true bond that breastfeeding offers while ‘sharing the responsibility’ with your spouse. There are many ways in which breastfeeding can occur alongside going back to work. If there is a workplace crèche or some form of child care nearby, you could visit your baby during the day. If you cannot visit your baby during the day or bring him/her into work with you, there are products such as breast pumps that can allow you to express milk, milk storage containers that enable you to store your milk for up to 5 days and milk warmers keeping the milk at the right temperature when needed. This gives you the freedom you want without the guilt – while involving the dads in this important task. Expressing for convenience  Expressing breast milk ensures your baby always gets the very best in nutritional feeding while giving you more flexibility. You may be going back to work, your partner might like to be more involved in feeding your little one, or you may just want to treat yourself to a long overdue rest – or night out. Additionally, there may be times when your breasts feel full and uncomfortable, but your baby isn’t ready to feed yet. That’s when using a pump can give you some relief. Later, once you’re up and running with breastfeeding, expressing can help to build your milk supply, along with your baby suckling. You’ll then have a store of milk handy for when you need it. Expressing breast milk is really easy with practice, although it’s best to wait four to six weeks after the birth to let breastfeeding become established before you start – unless a healthcare professional recommends otherwise. However, just as breastfeeding is a skill that needs practice, so is expressing breast milk. It is worthwhile to practice at home before you actually go back to work. It is also a good idea to have a pump so that you can store up some milk before you go back to work so that you have supplies on hand before you start working – just in case. How often you should pump also depends on a few factors. Do you intend to pump enough during the day for the baby to have exclusive breast milk the following day? If you want your baby to drink breast milk alone then it is a good idea to empty your breasts about as often as your baby feeds. However if you can’t pump as often as your baby feeds, you shouldn’t stop nursing altogether. Some workplaces are just not conducive to pumping. This doesn’t automatically mean that you your milk will dry up. Pumping just once a day will give you some stimulation, stop you from becoming engorged, and help maintain your supply. Arm yourself with info Bringing a child into this world is certainly an exciting time, but it can also be daunting. Arming yourself with as much information as possible is critical at every point – including breastfeeding. A lack of information can lead to misguided views and choices – so never be too scared to ask! Equip yourself with the knowledge and know-how when it comes to breastfeeding, as well as the benefits and options that are available so that you can make the best decision for you and your family.

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HYPERTENSION AND YOUR PREGNANCY

Embarking on the journey of motherhood should be a pleasurable and memorable experience.  For many women though, pregnancy can be overshadowed by hypertension, also known as high blood pressure.  Uncontrolled high blood pressure prior to pregnancy or high blood pressure developed during pregnancy poses a risk to both mother and unborn baby. I n this article we would like to make all future and expectant moms aware of these dangers and provide you with lifesaving tips on how to prevent high blood pressure from casting a shadow over this momentous time. High blood pressure can affect an expectant mother in two ways:  She might have existing high blood pressure prior to becoming pregnant, or …. High blood pressure may develop in the second half of pregnancy.   When high blood pressure is accompanied by protein in the urine, and swollen ankles, fingers and face; it is particularly serious and is called pre-eclampsia. F or both types of high blood pressure in pregnancy, if it is not detected and then controlled, it can cause low birth weight or require early delivery of the baby.   High blood pressure and especially pre-eclampsia can furthermore be very harmful to the mother as well, by causing seizures, damaging the kidneys, liver and brain and increasing the risk of stroke. The good news is that early detection and control of high blood pressure and close monitoring of the mom and baby can ensure a safe and happy pregnancy.   There are certain factors that can put one at an increased risk of high blood pressure during pregnancy. Factors include high blood pressure during a previous pregnancy, obesity, being under the age of 20 years and over the age of 40 years, having diabetes and other chronic illnesses, and being pregnant with more than one baby.  Women with any of these factors should be especially vigilant.  Severe headaches and visual disturbances are warning signs that require an urgent visit to your doctor or clinic. How can women with existing high blood pressure prevent problems during pregnancy? Firstly, it is important to control your blood pressure, and speak to your doctor or nurse when thinking about falling pregnant. Discuss with your doctor how high blood pressure might affect you or your baby and how to adapt or change any current blood pressure medication. Continue to monitor blood pressure regularly throughout your pregnancy as advised by your doctor or clinic. Ensure that you are eating healthily, limiting salt intake, being active and avoiding alcohol or tobacco products. In addition, taking calcium supplementation can prevent pre-eclampsia. How can women be sure not to get high blood pressure or pre-eclampsia during pregnancy?  Regular visits to the doctor or clinic are important to ensure a safe pregnancy. For a healthy pregnancy one should: First and foremost ensure that you are in the best possible health before thinking of falling pregnant; including managing a healthy weight, being physically active and not smoking. Get early and regular care from a doctor. Follow all the doctor’s recommendations. Do what you can to help manage blood pressure. Eat a healthy diet including plenty of fruit and vegetable, daily dairy, and limit intake of salt and salty foods. Take a calcium supplement as advised and directed by your doctor. High blood pressure has no symptoms or warning signs, therefore checking blood pressure regularly throughout pregnancy and beyond is important to monitor the health and well-being of mom and baby.  We would therefore like to encourage all women to know their numbers by visiting their nearest clinic, GP practice, nearest pharmacy or obstetrician to get their blood pressure checked.

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The First Glimpse

My nerves were so high I broke out in hives, I couldn’t think straight. I was struggling to sleep until eventually substituting to crying myself to sleep. This was the last time I would feel you moving and kicking your way around in my tummy. It was the most bitter-sweet emotion. I was physically ready but my emotions were far from prepared. The day arrived, waking up, I put my make up on, brushed my teeth, just like every other day, but knowing this day was going to change my life forever, it felt so dissimilar, everything I did, every reoccurring daily routine was like doing it for the first time. I felt lost. On the way to the hospital I took notice of more than I had ever before. Almost as if I had a sense I had always been unaware of. I was overwhelmed at the idea that I was about to become a Mother, I was about the meet this little boy that I had been waiting months to meet. Our moment that I had been dreaming about was about to become a reality. The sweet little eyes I had been trying to place a picture of in my head would finally see the world. It was finally our moment. I booked myself in and as they began hooking me up to the monitors and taking blood tests, everything became surreal. They began explaining the procedures and preparing me for one of the most intense moments of my life. It was time to meet you. Finally. I was ready. Filled with mixed emotions, they wheeled me into theatre. They began with the spinal block, it worked quickly and as I was placed on the operating table, my body was ready to bring you into this world. I felt the tugging, and I heard the sounds. The sound and smell of burning skin, the doctors casually talking about their holiday with the effort to distract me, and the song playing in the background was all I could hear, I tried to remain focused. The assistant whispered in my ear asking me if I was ready, she explained they would put pressure on my stomach and the doctor would remove him from the tiny incision he had made in my lower stomach. The sound of her voice was so intense, it was as if hearing something pertaining to life and death. It made my emotions rush in fast, it went quiet. I closed my eyes and all I could hear was my heart beat. Focus Leigh. He is he almost here. Suddenly the sound of suctions and struggle became blatant, I couldn’t see what was going beyond the sheets, but I could hear you. You let out a little cry, and the doctor finally said, “Here he comes” They lifted you for a split second to give me a glimpse of your beautiful face, for what felt like hours, I reveled in the most breath-taking sight of you, your wrinkly expression and eyes so dark I could see right into your innocent soul. The sound of your boisterous cry is one of the freshest and fondest memories I have and I can still remember the sweet smell of you. The next hour felt like a life time, in recovery all I could think of was you and how I craved to have you in my grasp, to hold you, look into your eyes and whisper sweetly how much I already loved you. They placed you in my arms, and there it was, you looked at me. You looked into my soul. This love was deep. It was considered more than I could bare. Everything I thought I knew, everything I had planned, the ideas I had created in my mind and how it would feel to meet you for the first time, it had all dissipated. The knowledge I thought I had, had become worthless. I knew from that moment that this was it. This was our moment, and for a moment, in all the chaos around us, it was only you and I in that room and then, you blinked almost as if you agreed, and nothing could stop us. On this day, a life long bond was formed. I gave birth to you, even if by Caesarean Section, an operation which in no way is considered to be natural, you became my son. No matter my decision on how to bring you into this world, that made me a Mother, a privilege that fills my heart with a paramount of gratitude, daily.

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Down Syndrome Awareness

Children with Down syndrome are keen to be social and their interactive communication skills (the ability to understand and participate in conversations) are good. This strength should be recognized and every effort made to enable them to communicate in all the settings that they are in at home and at school. Increasing the quantity and quality of everyday communication experience for children with Down syndrome is an important intervention (Buckley, S. 2000:27). The following ideas and activities may enhance and develop language skills: Talk to your children – they understand more than they can say. Talk about what your children are doing and their experiences. Expand what your children are saying by repeating and elaborating on their sentences. e.g.  If the child is saying “Dog sit”, you say, “The dog is sitting”. Follow your child’s lead in communication settings – this includes active listening and it may encourage more communication from your child. Incorporate all the senses when you teach your children new concepts, e.g. let them: listen to, look at, feel, taste and smell an object. Signing could be a useful tool which may allow more effective communication and less frustration. Musical activities may be beneficial: The repetitive, fun and engaging elements of music and musical activities, such as singing songs, rhythm and experimenting with musical instruments may also enhance and develop memory and attention qualities. Visual learning activities may support language learning and comprehension skills. For example: Playing language games where words are printed on cards. This could also help with learning individual words and their meanings. Reading books and pictures – an interactive and enriching activity for all! Time well spent and definitely one of the most valuable sources of language development. Most children with Down syndrome understand more language than their expressive language skills suggest and therefore their understanding may, very often, be underestimated. This means that their social interactive skills and non-verbal communication skills may be seen as areas of strength (Buckley, S. & Bird, G. 2001:5). However, facial muscle tone, articulation and phonology may need specific attention and support. The following activities may prove to be beneficial and help with speech production: Blowing bubbles or any other blowing activities (for example: blow balls and bubble fun). Create pictures by blowing paint over paper with a short straw. Blow up balloons. Blow whistles. Play Blow Soccer by using a rolled up ball of aluminum foil / a cotton ball on the floor or on a table. Sucking activities – use straws and vary the thickness of the straws. Licking an ice-cream. (Please be careful of allergies / intolerances) Spread peanut-butter on lips, the child can lick it off. (Please be careful of allergies/ intolerances) “They might be a little slower, but that also slows life down for everybody around them.” – Joshua Tillotson, father of Down Syndrome twins.

Meg Faure

Establishing A Good Sleep Routine

Feeling jaded and sleep deprived? You are in good company. Less than half of all babies sleep through before the toddler years and even if they do, sleep issues can raise their ugly head at any time.  Sleep problems need to be addressed because not only do you feel bad, sleep deprivation is not good for your baby either. The importance of sleep Sleep is important for your little one because it is healing for his body and mind. During a long period of unbroken sleep, your baby will cycle from light sleep to deep sleep and back many times. When in the light sleep state he will dream and his amazing brain processes and lays down memories of the experiences he had during the day. This sleep state is surmised to be essential for memory and learning. Deep sleep is just as important for development because during this sleep state, your baby sorts the important information from the day from the irrelevant. The superfluous synapses are literally pruned and connections that are not commonly used are severed, freeing up energy and brain connections for more useful function. Establishing a good sleep routine One way to guide your baby into better sleep habits is to establish a sleep routine. The key to routines is that they need to be flexible and age appropriate. There are three steps to setting up a sleep routine effectively: Follow age appropriate awake times for your baby All babies have age related optimal awake times – intervals in which your little one can be happily awake. During this time he will be content and interactive, learning from his environment. If your baby is kept awake for longer than his ideal awake time, he will become needy, easily over stimulated and generally irritable. In addition to this he will not naturally fall into a sleepy state and thus will be more difficult to get to sleep. The easiest way to get your baby into a routine is to make sure you settle him to sleep as when his age appropriate ‘Awake Time’ is up (See table for age appropriate Awake times).  Take note of the time your baby and then make sure to watch that he goes down according to his ‘Awake times’. Read your baby’s signals for tiredness In addition to watching the ‘Awake Time’, you should observe your baby’s individual signals. Signals that your baby is tired may include rubbing eyes, sucking hands, touching ears, looking into space, drowsy eyes or many other self-soothing strategies. When your baby shows the signs of drowsiness, he should be put down to sleep. Settle your baby with sleep cues Use soothing strategies to shift your baby into a drowsy state before putting him in the cot, such as dimming the lights or drawing the blinds; giving a feed, if this is helpful to settle him (such as before bedtime); a soothing massage for older babies and swaddling for little ones works a wonder; rocking your little one until he is drowsy. Once drowsy, put your little one in the cot so that he puts the last piece of the puzzle together for himself – self-soothing to sleep. Importance of self-soothing Newborns are unable to self-sooth effectively, which is why you may have found yourself rocking, patting and lulling your newborn to sleep. However, we do know that as your baby gets towards 4 months of age, he has the innate ability to access self-soothing strategies, such as sucking his hand, sucking a dummy, holding a ‘sleep lovey’ such as a bear or Taglet, or to simply hum to sleep. If this natural ability is allowed to develop, without too much interference, you will have a good sleeper. Where new parents frequently go wrong is by creating dependence and habits around sleep time, such as rocking a six month old to sleep or feeding a toddler at night. Try from around 4 months to give your little one the space and time to self sooth – do not let him cry or become distressed, but if he is moaning to sleep, support him to find his blanky or thumb and to access self soothing strategies independently. While getting a full night’s sleep may feel like a search for the holy grail, it is achievable, with simple strategies such as watching the awake times, your baby will settle into an age appropriate sleep routine.

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Five Best Markets For Kids

Make the most of Summer – Winter is on its way! Visiting local markets is a great way to spend weekend days and they’re all the rage right now. It’s the perfect way to get the whole family out the house and the delicious food and fresh produce is a real draw card for parents. We’ve put together a list of our best family market picks in Joburg, Cape Town and Durban. Johannesburg Fourways Farmers Market Opening hours: Sunday, 10am-3pm http://www.ffmarket.co.za/ With lots of seating space and more than 61 vendor stalls this is your one-stop-Sunday-morning-market-shop. Relax on hay bales under tall pine trees enjoying delicious market food and live music – there’s even champagne by the glass. Also located on the premises is the Aroma Café (hyperlink) which boasts a buffet breakfast, a beautiful playground and a kiddies’ menu. Bryanston Organic & Natural Market Opening hours: Thursdays, Saturdays and public holidays, 9am-3pm http://www.bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za/ Organic and natural food is the cornerstone of this market that offers a great variety of foods particularly for allergies and special dietary needs. A huge appeal for families is the Kids Quarter where children can enjoy craft activities, including candle dipping, sand art and a gemstone scratch-patch. Cape Town Tokai Forest Market Opening hours: Saturday, 9am-2pm http://tokaiforestmarket.co.za/ Spend the morning browsing the beautiful Tokai market whilst enjoying the freshest artisanal coffee. The market boasts a jumping castle, jungle gym and pony rides. Coming soon are cooking demos and game afternoons. Organjezicht City Farm Opening hours: Saturday, 9AM – 2PM http://www.ozcf.co.za/market-day/ This organic foodie’s paradise has temporarily moved to the historic Leeuvenhof estate. Bring your picnic blankets, kids and dogs and enjoy a morning of delicious fresh produce. Explore the beautiful the estate and even take a dip in the premier’s pool! Durban Golden Hours Family Market Opening Hours: Sunday, 10am-3.30pm https://www.facebook.com/pages/GOLDEN-HOURS-FAMILY-MARKET/121337227882 Spend a Sunday at this kiddies’ market paradise complete with an exciting play area and activities for kids of all ages. Expect the freshest produce and traditional homemade goodies. The Litchi Orchard Opening hours: The 2nd Saturday of every month, 9AM – 2PM http://www.litchiorchard.co.za/market/ This beautiful market venue on Durban’s north coast, combines top class food and drink with loads of open space for the kids (and dogs) to enjoy. Keep a look out for the playful resident mongooses.

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Rock Around The Clock Tonight: Braving Sleep Training

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.”  Baz Lurhmann: Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen) When I moved to Jozi as a grad in 2003, I wound up in sales (recruitment). My boyfriend (now husband) had many years of sales experiences under his belt and gave me a piece of advice he’d picked up on a training course: “Clients/ customers only buy goods or services when they feel pain.” In the months following the departure of my first child’s night nurse, I realised that this was how I had come to view sleep training. It was something I knew I probably needed to buy into at some stage. Although I was in pain every time we had a bad night, the agony wasn’t consistent enough for me to attempt sleep training. The idea of sleep training was something I instinctively experienced as a kind of physical fear: the terrorised crying, the guilt of abandoning your helpless infant, the fear of inflicting permanent psychological damage, the self-doubt as to whether the child might be physically ill… it all just seemed too barbaric a concept for me to face. And, in a nutshell, too hard, really. It somehow felt easier to just suffer through four hours of rocking my child and begging her to sleep every three or four nights. Because in between those hellish nights, she’d mostly sleep through and I’d have a chance to recover – physically and emotionally. But when my daughter, Chiara, was 15 months old, something cracked. We just had too many three or four hour stints where I could not, for love or money, get her back to sleep in the middle of the night. (To this day, I don’t know why she sometimes woke up, but I do know that she had no idea how to put herself back to sleep because she had never been given the opportunity to learn that skill). A few hours cradling a baby in an armchair in the middle of the night might not sound like the worst thing on earth – especially if you have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom in privileged South Africa. But there is something absolutely soul destroying about the experience when you are going through it. I repeat: soul destroying. Perhaps you have to have experienced it yourself to know what I mean… I’m glad I finally reached rock bottom because I would not have had the determination to attempt sleep training otherwise. A few months earlier, I’d had lunch with a friend who was regularly spending an hour and a half putting her one year old to bed. She wasn’t pushy or evangelical at all on the topic but merely stated that sleep training had “changed their lives”. She described how, after the training, her daughter would point to her cot after only a few minutes. It seemed almost too good to be true and I wasn’t ready to put her advice into practice, but I secretly fantasized about a child who pointed at her cot. So, when I was ready (read absolutely desperate and in emotional pain), I emailed my friend and asked her for her “method” for Project Sleep Training. To date, at 15 months old, Chiara, had only ever been rocked to sleep, pushed to sleep or fallen asleep on her nanny’s back or in a moving car. My mother-in-law first mentioned “putting her down awake” when she was six months old. I’d never heard of such a crazy concept in my life and I though my mother-in-law was mad. It was only later that the information started to sink in… My friend’s method was gleaned from a range of online sources and she explained it to me in simple terms: Put baby in cot (yes, awake! Imagine?) Leave room Time three minutes on your phone If s/he is still crying after three minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time four minutes on your phone If the baby is still crying after four minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time five minutes on your phone… The next day, you start by leaving the baby for four minutes, then five, then six etc. You’ll be surprised at how fast these kids catch on… For me, sleep training was indeed life changing. It took about two or three days of applying the above method by the book before my daughter got the message. I never experienced another night of being up for two to four hours on the trot – which had previously happened about three times a week. Of course if your baby isn’t completely well, sleep training is not a good idea. Rather wait till you feel confident that your child is healthy. As for teething, it can be hellish for some babies but teething goes on for two years so it’s worth fitting in sleep training somewhere along the line. Going away did disrupt my child’s sleep somewhat, but not to the same extent as it had prior to sleep training. I did find that when we got home, it was helpful to re-start the training for a night or two. When my second child came along, I cuddled and rocked him to my heart’s content, secure in the knowledge that I could train him to self soothe as soon as he – or rather, I – was ready.

Parenting Hub

IS IT POSSIBLE TO BREASTFEED WHILE SICK?

The first thing that a nursing mom will worry about when she gets sick is the possibility of infecting her baby. This concern may lead to limiting contact with her baby and even to terminate breastfeeding out of fear of making her baby sick. In truth, it is very rare for a mom to have to stop breastfeeding due to illness. Sickness is not transmitted via breastmilk unless bacteria is present in the mother’s blood (such as septicaemia). During sickness, the mother’s body will produce antibodies (specific to that illness) which will actually protect her baby from the infection that she is carrying. Your baby will have been exposed to the illness a couple of days before you even realised that you were sick and so the best thing that you can do for your baby while sick, is to FEED. If baby does get sick, it will most likely be a much milder case than anybody else in the family has suffered. Because of the antibodies which your milk carries, limiting breastfeeding may actually increase your babies chances of getting sick. Contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding during a bout of food poisoning is completely safe unless the bacteria has crossed over to the mother’s bloodstream which would result in septicaemia and ultimately the mother being hospitalised. As long as the food poisoning is contained to your general vomiting, stomach cramps and diarrhoea, breastfeeding can continue as normal. While nursing is the best thing for your baby, it is not always the easiest task to carry out when you are not well. One may notice a slight drop in your milk supply and this could be due to a number of reasons, but it will build up again quickly once you have recovered. Rest well, keep yourself hydrated and make sure that the medications you are taking are safe for breastfeeding. Try to avoid large doses of vitamin B as well as drugs which contain pseudoephedrine (present in most oral decongestants) as well as throat lozenges containing menthol. Though safe for baby, these may decrease your milk supply. Opt for decongestant sprays rather than oral meds and use these sprays for the recommended time period only. Always take medication immediately after feeding to give your body the maximum amount of time to work through your meds. If possible, have someone help you with other daily tasks so that you can focus on feeding and recovering without the hassle of running everyday errands. Feed baby lying down to maximise rest and to minimise the chance of dropping your baby. Although many medications are completely safe while breastfeeding, you may wish to consider a few natural tips and remedies to see you through your next illness: Hot liquids relieve congestion, drink up Drink fenugreek tea to help ease head and chest congestion (fenugreek is also used to increase breastmilk) Inhale a vapour made with apple cider vinegar to help alleviate congestion Massage and hot packs placed on and around sinuses can ease pain and congestion Drinking strong black tea (using 2 teabags) can bring some comfort to a sore / scratchy throat Warm Sprite / lemonade has an anaesthetising effect on a sore throat Make your own rehydration drink using 1/2teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon bicarb, 8 teaspoons sugar, 250ml orange juice, 1l water Drink ginger tea to relieve nausea *please note, this blog is in no way intended to replace medical advice. Ask your doctor should you have any queries or concerns regarding medication that you are taking while breastfeeding.

Parenting Hub

Treat Headaches Safely During And After Pregnancy

Being a new mother can be an exciting time for many women. Taking care of a new child can be one of the most wonderful experiences. But this time can also be extremely stressful when headaches occur. A recent study published in the journal Headache showed there are many safe methods to treat these headaches and migraines when women are breast-feeding. A list of commonly used migraine medications was agreed upon by the 6 researchers, who treat migraine and other headaches on a regular basis. Each medication was researched by an author utilizing widely accepted data sources, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics publication “The Transfer of Drugs and Other Chemicals Into Human Milk”. Dr. Elliot Shevel, South Africa’s migraine research pioneer, said the study found there are many reliable medications for women who are worried it will affect their babies through breast milk. This comprehensive study revealed there are many commonly used migraine medications that may be compatible with breast-feeding based on expert recommendations. “Ibuprofen, diclofenac, and eletriptan are among acute medications with low levels in breast milk. They are therefore safe to use,” says Shevel. What does not work? Aspirin did, however, cause some concern. Due to an association with Reye’s syndrome; sedation or apnea is problematic with opioids. Finally, preventive medications not recommended include zonisamide, atenolol, and tizanidine. Headaches during pregnancy Most headaches seen in women are primary headache disorders (migraine, tension-type headache), complications or conditions associated with pregnancy can present with a secondary headache. Headaches are very common symptoms in idiopathic intracranial hypertension, eclampsia, and reversible cerebral vascular syndrome. Migraines may begin or worsen during pregnancy, but pregnancy tends to reduce migraine frequency and severity. Although it is desirable to avoid medications for headaches during pregnancy, treatment should be considered when headaches are severe and cause significant disability. “We always promote treating headaches and migraines without the use of drugs. This is the safest method we can employ,” says Shevel to treat these headaches and migraines when women are breast-feeding. Being aware of possible treatments for migraine and headaches during pregnancy is essential. To find out more about how migraines affect your child, call 0861 678 911 or visit www.theheadacheclinic.net

Parenting Hub

The Mommy Blues

Mutual regulation refers to a communication system that allows a mother to read emotional signals from her baby and meet his or her needs, as well as allowing the baby to read his/her mother’s response. So what happens when this system breaks down? Post Natal Depression (PND), otherwise known as Postpartum Depression, is a condition that affects between 10% and 15% of mothers. It has many similar characteristics with depression, and if help for this form of depression is not sought, it may have an impact on the way the mother interacts with her baby, as well as the child’s future cognitive and emotional development. One of the biggest problems with PND in mothers is that they are less sensitive to the needs of their babies, as well as being less engaged with them. Things like interpreting a baby’s cry and responding to it is one of the aspects that can be affected, such as being able to tell the difference between the hungry, sleepy or nappy-change cry. Symptoms of PND (according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists)include: Depression Irritability Chronic fatigue Changes in appetite An inability to enjoy anything Loss of interest in sex Guilty thoughts Anxiety Unsociability Hopelessness Thoughts of suicide Effects of PND also include feelings of guilt, the idea that you may not love or feel close to your baby, or that he or she doesn’t love you back, and resentment towards the baby. It is important for women to understand that these symptoms are normal, and are a result of hormonal and emotional difficulties and are not an indication of good or bad parenting. There are various suggestions as to how this can be treated or even prevented. Techniques to help depressed mothers include: Listening to music Visual imagery Aerobic exercise or yoga Meditation or massage therapy Talking to a professional Advice to new mothers: Don’t take on too much too fast. Learn to ask for help. Find someone to talk to Seek antenatal advice Sources: A Child’s World and The Royal College of Psychiatrists

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