Pregnancy & Baby - Parenting Hub

The Joys of Breastfeeding

On this months letter we would to share some benefits of breastfeeding, correct positioning, soreness and tenderness. “A baby nursing at a mother’s breast is an undeniable affirmation of our rootedness in nature.” David Suzuki Benefits of breastfeeding The nutrient balance in a mother’s milk is just right for her baby as he/she grows. There are at least 12 anti-inflammatory agents in breastmilk which promote a healthy immune system. Immunoglobulin-A in colostrum protects the baby against intestinal infection. Lactoferrin prevents the growth of pathogenic organisms. Breastfeeding decreases the risk of childhood asthma, bacterial infections, diarrhoea and allergies. Breastfeeding has been linked to improved dental hygiene and speech development. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast, ovarian and endometrial cancers in mothers. Breastfeeding mothers return to their pre-pregnancy weight sooner than their bottle feeding counterparts. Correct positioning Both mother and baby should be comfortable. Baby should be chest to chest, at the level of the breast, with mother’s arm well supported by pillows. Mother should support the breast, but avoid lifting. Hold the breast with one hand and the baby with the other. Once the baby has opened the mouth wide enough, swiftly bring the baby to the breast. Soreness v/s Tenderness Soreness Caused by poor latch, incorrect positioning or bad alignment. Correct feeding techniques should be learned. Use ointment (sparingly and only on the sore area). Start the feeding on the least sore side. Tenderness Slight tenderness is normal. Initial discomfort with latch should not last more than 30 seconds, max 60 seconds. Mother should be encouraged to air-dry her breast. Use of different positions may decrease tenderness. Blisters, “lipstick” shape of the nipples, redness or any bleeding is not normal. At the end of the feeding, nipples should be round and slightly elongated. Hold the baby more closely with more of areola in the mouth. A Note from the establishers of Milk Galore brand: As a mom myself who struggled to breastfeed my son my option was formula milk of which was not my desired option as I wanted the best for my son. We then researched natural stimulators that would assist not only a 1sttime mom like myself who was struggling to feed her baby but all mothers who faced the same struggle. We at Milk Galore understand and have a heart for both the mom and the newly born. The natural instinct and incredible feeling when a mom breastfeeds is a precious gift a mom can give her baby. Our desire is to ensure that all mothers have that privilege of sharing that gift with their newly borns. Milk Galore has a solution that has incorporated natural herbs that may assist to stimulate lactation for breastfeeding women. It is rich in iron and thus very good for lactating mothers since they are more in need of iron than others. Moreover, cumin is said to help ease and increase secretion of milk in lactating women due to presence of Thymol, which tends to increase secretions from glands, including milk which is a secretion from mammary glands. Milk Galore products can be bought online www.milkgalore.co.za

June 10, 2017

What is Reflux?

Reflux is a very common problem in tiny babies. It is also known as possetting or spitting up and happens when milk that has been ingested travels back up through the oesophagus or food pipe. Babies also have stomach acids that are necessary for the breaking down of food. When you feed your baby milk, the mixture of acid and milk can be regurgitated and can make baby very uncomfortable. If you’ve ever suffered from heart-burn, then you know what it feels like. A Baby Wrap Carrier can prove to be incredibly handy to help alleviate reflux as it allows your baby to be in a comfortable upright position with no added pressure on his or her little tummy. When baby is feeling uncomfortable and a little stressed, carrying him or her in a Baby Wrap Carrier, helps to soothe and calm baby. Whilst reflux is messy and can be very frustrating, it is also very normal and at least 40% of babies suffer from this problem. Up to 5% of babies can have as many as six or more episodes a day. However, it is a temporary problem that usually gets better as baby grows and their digestive system matures. A very small percentage of babies have what is known as severe or persistent reflux (gastro-oesophageal reflux disease or GORD). Should you at any time believe that you baby falls within this percentage, we would highly recommend setting your mind at rest with a visit to your paediatrician. To understand the cause of reflux, you need to bear in mind that your baby’s stomach is very small at birth and grows bigger quite slowly as baby grows. Baby’s food pipe (oesophagus) connects the little mouth to the little stomach at the bottom of which there is a valve that is controlled by a ring of muscle. Sometimes as baby’s tummy becomes full with milk, the little valve doesn’t stay properly closed and allows some of the mixture of milk and stomach acid to move back up the food pipe. We would caution against adding cereal to make baby’s milk thicker as there is no scientific proof that this helps with reflux. Once again, if you are unsure, consult your doctor first. Reflux can be prevented in a number of ways : Feed your baby in an upright position Hold baby upright for about 20 or 30 minutes after each feed Put baby in a baby wrap carrier after each feed Try giving baby smaller, but more frequent feeds For bottle fed babies, burp every two or three minutes during feeds and also make sure that the hole in the teat isn’t too large. A teat that’s too big can cause milk to come out too fast which in turn makes baby gulp, swallowing air and exacerbating reflux Try raising the top of baby’s cot by putting a flat pillow under the mattress and whilst your baby should still sleep on his or her back, it may help if their little head is slightly higher than their feet

June 10, 2017

Why is my baby crying?

When your baby is crying a cold sweat accompanied by the question “WHY?” is the likely reaction. While we would love a recipe to interpret each cry, it is important to realise that every baby’s cry is different and every cry can mean a different thing. The best way for you to determine why your baby is crying is by process of elimination. Ask yourself these questions: Is my baby hungry? Newborns need feeds between two and four hourly. If your newborn is crying this could well be the reason. Even older babies on good routines will become teary and cry when they are hungry. Toddlers become difficult to manage when their blood sugar levels drop, If your baby is hungry feed him. Is my baby sick?When your baby cries you may well wonder whether pain or sickness is the culprit. Usually this is not the case but if your baby has been a happy contented little one and suddenly become fractious and cries a lot you should be concerned and if this is accompanied by a loss of appetite, take him to your doctor or speak to your clinic sister. Is my baby tired or over-stimulated? By far the most common cause of crying, especially colic in the first three months is overstimulation and over-tiredness. So how do you calm your baby who is already crying and unplayable due to overstimulation [unordered_list Swaddle your baby – the deep pressure and containment provided by a swaddle is the best calming measure. Your overtired baby will then no longer be bothered by his flailing arms and will feel calmer when swaddled Decrease stimulation– do not over stimulate your baby or toddler when he is already fractious. Take him to a dim room with quiet lullabies instead of swinging him through the air to make him laugh. Hold your baby and carry him – do not worry about spoiling your newborn, as babies up to four months old do not form habits. However, they do have sensory needs and movement such as that provided in a sling is a great way to calm colicky newborn or fractious toddler alike. Lie with your baby on your chest – when the wheels are falling off, and mum and baby are falling apart, Dad can be a great support. Take your little baby and lay quietly with him on your chest and sooth him with your calmness and gentle touch. White noise – white noise provided by water, a radio tuned to static or a white noise CD are wonderful sounds for calming babies. If possible play white noise at the volume of your baby’s cry and he will calm down.

June 9, 2017

Why sleep is important?

Every function in the body is affected by sleep. And for a child, the risks of sleep deprivation are much more serious than simply waking up in a grumpy mood. Research shows that children with sleep disturbances have more medical problems – such as allergies, ear infections, and hearing problems. They are also more likely to have social and emotional problems. Sleep is as important as nutrition and exercise. It’s when the body repackages neurotransmitters, chemicals that enable brain cells to communicate. 1. Sleep promotes growth – Growth hormone is primarily secreted during deep sleep. 2. Sleep helps the heart. 3. Sleep affects weight – There’s increasing evidence that getting too little sleep causes kids to become overweight, starting in infancy. 4. Sleep helps beat germs – During sleep, children (and adults) also produce proteins known as cytokines, which the body relies on to fight infection, illness, and stress. 5. Sleep reduces injury risk – Kids are clumsier and more impulsive when they don’t get enough sleep, setting them up for accidents. 6. Sleep increases kids’ attention span – Children who consistently sleep fewer than ten hours a night before age 3 are three times more likely to have hyperactivity and impulsivity problems by age 6. 7. Sleep boosts learning – Sleep aids learning in kids of all ages, and education experts are finding that naps have a particular magic. The simple fact is that kids sleep less today than they used to. And unless we make an effort to get that sleep time back, their health will suffer.

June 9, 2017

Kangaroo Care for Baby

Whilst in recent years, Kangaroo Care or Skin-to-skin care for babies, has become a very popular method of treatment particularly for pre-term babies, this form of care has been around since the late 1970’s. Kangaroo Care was initially introduced in Bogota Colombia, in the late 1970‘s due to the alarmingly high death rate of premature infants. At that time death in premature infants was as high as 70% where babies were dying from infections, respiratory problems and sadly, lack of attention. Researchers found that babies who were held close to their mothers’ bodies for large portions of the day, thrived and survived! Kangaroo care, or skin-to-skin care, is a technique practiced on newborn, usually pre-term infants where the infant is held, skin-to-skin, with mom and sometimes even with dad. This form of care is generally restricted to a few hours a day but if babies are medically stable, that time may be extended and some parents may even keep their babies in their arms for many hours per day. The benefits of this practise are astounding! The physiological and psychological warmth and bonding that takes place is phenomenal. And of course, mom or dad’s stable body temperature helps to regulate baby’s temperature more smoothly than an incubator as well as allowing for readily accessible breastfeeding when mom holds baby in this way. This is where you just cannot be without a Hugseez Baby Wrap Carrier. It is the perfect tool to use with Kangaroo Care or Skin-to-skin Contact. The Hugseez Baby Wrap Carrier, is comfortable to wear, easy to use and offers both warmth for baby and privacy for mom whilst breastfeeding. It is highly recommended that skin-to-skin contact should be initiated immediately after birth and the benefits have been scientifically proven. In terms of classification and proper defining for research purposes, the following aspects that categorise and define skin-to-skin contact have been proposed: Initiation time, (minutes, hours from birth), ideal is zero separation. Dose of skin-to-skin contact, (hours per day, or as percentage of day), ideal >90%. Duration, (measured in days or weeks from birth), ideally until infant refuses. Safe technique should ensure that obstructive apnoea cannot occur. Since the mother must be able to sleep to provide adequate dose. The Hugseez Baby Wrap Carrier is perfect in this instance as it is made of a soft breathable cotton lycra fabric that fits around mommy’s body very naturally. This cotton lycra fabric is also wonderfully stretchy with no belt and buckles! The available evidence does show that early skin-to-skin contact produces better outcomes, very specifically with respect to breastfeeding, but also with regulation of physiological outcomes. Whilst we are aware that Kangaroo Care for low birthweight and pre-term infants is a must, we have no doubt that you will agree with us that this form of skin-to-skin contact should be regarded as normal and basic for all newly born babies. Hugseez Baby Wrap Carrier is a must for all new mommies and their babies to help make this intimate and superbly natural way of caring for your baby possible.

June 6, 2017

Potty Talk…

Potty training isn’t the easiest thing to do, but for the most part it runs fairly smoothly – a couple of accidents here and there, a bit of frustration, many hours of potty entertainment, and eventual mastery. But what happens when you seem to have got it all down and suddenly your 3 year old is afraid to make a poo? Before you go rushing off to play therapy, there are a couple of things you can consider… If your child is under 4 years old, this behaviour is not out of the normal age range, but if your child was doing really well with toilet training up until this point and then suddenly regressed then it may be something that needs addressing. Firstly, make sure your child is not constipated. The majority of issues come about because of constipation, which then makes it uncomfortable or even painful to pass a stool. Make sure your child drinks lots of water (they sometimes forget when they’re having too much fun), gets enough fruit and veg every day, and maybe even add some prunes or something similar to her diet for a while. Try cutting out constipating foods like bread, pap, red meats, bananas and sugar. Constipation can also be the result of being afraid to go to the loo, where kids hold it in for long periods of time. Compacted faeces can cause greater issues, so if you suspect this, follow the guidelines above and consider seeing your family practitioner. Sometimes potty issues can come about due to strong emotional experiences at the time of potty training. Ask yourself if any major changes have happened at the same time – a parent going away, divorce, death in the family, arrival of a new sibling, even going on holiday can be stressful for some kids. If there is an emotional connection, speak to your child about this, address her fears, lay off the pressure on potty training for a while, and consider doing some relaxation exercises with your child. The next question to ask is if there are any benefits for your child for soiling her pants. Does she get additional attention (even negative) or anything like that? If there are some hidden benefits to it, you’ll need to address those in more positive ways first. You also need to look at how potty training is handled at school. It is worth digging in to this a bit, as the school may tell you that accidents and messes are handled well, but in my experience this is not always the case. Address whether it is possible that there was some shaming or embarrassment that has happened to your child, or even one of the other children at school. You need to reassure your child that everyone messes sometimes (even adults) and it is not a big deal. I would never offer rewards for going to the toilet – this may add additional stress. Your child may be genuinely unable to consciously control it. Also, never shame your child for soiling their pants. Make sure she knows that you are not cross or upset by it. The less emphasis you put on it the better. Explain that you know she is doing her best and that you are there if she needs to talk to you about anything that is worrying her. And then leave it. Don’t push for information, just be present. When your child does soil her pants, don’t make a big deal out of it. Explain that all kids do that sometimes and it is really ok (if you have a story about yourself doing it as a child then it is worth relating that). Show your child how to deal with it so that if she wants to she can clean it up herself (give her some power back in her life) – show her how to empty it into the loo, and to rinse her panties in the sink and how to put them in the wash, or however you handle it. She probably won’t do a very good job about it, but praise her for her efforts. Again, don’t force her – only if she wants to be involved. You could also offer her the option of wearing a nappy for a while until she feels ok to go to the loo again – be careful how you handle this though – she mustn’t feel like she’s regressing or that it is a punishment. Point out other kids her age still wearing nappies and explain that it is normal at her age to still have accidents. Maybe she won’t want to do this at school but may be ok to wear one at home, or even just when she feels she needs to poo. Also, make going to the toilet as natural as possible. Let her come to the bathroom with you when you go and be chatty about making a poo and how good it feels etc. You may also look for books at the library or online that can help you to address the subject with her in a fun way. Here are some you can check out: It Hurts When I Poop! a Story for Children Who Are Scared to Use the Potty Where’s the Poop? I Can’t, I Won’t, No Way!: A Book For Children Who Refuse to Poop “Bloop, Bloop!” Goes the Poop Try taking this relaxed, no big deal approach and see how she does. Be patient with her. If she did have someone shout at her at school or is feeling stressed because of it, it may take her some time to reestablish trust with the toilet! Give it a try and if you still don’t come right then consider taking your child to see a play therapist or someone with experience in dealing with these issues. Good luck!

May 29, 2017

Childhood Allergies

Spring is set to arrive soon and what a wonderful time of the year it is, unless, of course, you’re the parent of a child plagued with allergy symptoms that are exacerbated at this time of the year. Seasonal allergies, commonly known as hay fever, are caused by pollens from trees and grasses or airborne mould spores. Symptoms include sneezing, itching of the nose and mouth, red, watery and itchy eyes and a consistently thin and clear discharge from the nose that may also become blocked. However year-round allergies to house dust, animal dander, feathers, mites and chemicals may also be troubling your child. And then, of course, there are food allergies. In infants the first symptom of a food allergy may be a rash such as eczema (atopic dermatitis) or a rash that resembles hives. This may be accompanied by colic, nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea. However food allergies in children can also contribute to chronic health problems, such as asthma, ear infections, fatigue, headache, irritability, chronic runny nose, acne, bedwetting and even difficulty maintaining concentration (attention deficit disorder, or hyperactivity). Dark circles under the eyes (called “allergic shiners”), along with a puffy look to the face, are frequently seen. (Cow’s milk is very often the culprit here). Allergic children often look wan or pallid and lack vitality. This is because food allergies can also cause digestive problems that interfere with the absorption of vitamins and minerals, no matter how nutritious the diet In the presence of an allergen, a child’s built-in defence system releases histamines and similar chemicals to fight what it perceives as an invader. A string of reactions such as the swelling and congestion of nasal passages and increased mucous production results. Conventional medicine using prescription antihistamines, nasal sprays or decongestants, treats symptoms only. Many of these medications have nasty side-effects and if used consistently may lose their effect or rapidly produce dependency. A Nutritional Therapy Approach To Treating Food Allergies The most common foods that cause allergic reactions in children are wheat, dairy products, eggs, fish and seafood, chocolate, citrus fruits, soy products, corn, nuts, peanuts and berries. On the chemical list are additives such as artificial colourants, preservatives (e.g. benzoic acid), flavour enhancers (e.g. MSG) and sulphites found in some frozen foods, dried fruits and medications. To identify what foods are making your child miserable use an elimination diet or keep a diary recording your child’s symptoms and the foods eaten. (Some children seem to be particularly drawn to a problematic food and actually crave it, so be wary if your child wants to live on peanut butter or wheat bread or dairy products). Simply eliminate the suspected food from the diet for a few weeks and watch for improvements. Eliminating all dairy products would be a good place to start. Dairy foods can stimulate an increase in mucous production. Rice, oats or goat’s milk are possible alternatives. If your child’s allergies are seasonal, it may also be helpful to avoid whole wheat during the allergy season. Good substitutes include buckwheat, corn/maize, rice, millet and quinoa. If all the identified problem foods are eliminated from a child’s diet for at least 6 months and then introduced slowly one by one she should be able to tolerate small amounts of these foods. What Else Can Help? Encourage your child to drink lots of water to thin secretions and ease expectoration. Allergic children need a good wholesome diet comprising mainly raw fruit and vegetables. Avoid giving your child any processed foods as they will contain some of the additives mentioned previously. Nutritional Supplements That May Help Vitamin C, preferably in mineral ascorbate form with bioflavonoids, is a natural anti-histamine and a powerful promoter of a strong immune system, making it the most important anti-allergy vitamin. MSM (methylsuphonyl methane) is being prescribed more and more for its anti-allergenic properties. Essential fatty acids, such as those found in fish oil help to regulate the inflammatory response. Quercetin, a plant bioflavonoid naturally found in many fruits and vegetables, acts as anti-inflammatory agent and stabilises mast cells in allergy sufferers. Mast cells become unstable during an allergic reaction and release large quantities of histamine. A high quality green whole food multivitamin and mineral supplement will ensure optimum intake of essential nutrients and sufficient digestive enzymes. Ways To Prevent Allergies In the past it was believed that it was essential to avoid sensitization of infants before birth and for the first three years of life and so moms were advised to reduce exposure of the foetus/infant to known food allergens. However despite this, food allergy in children has increased world wide. Now there is a new take based on “The Development of Oral Tolerance” whereby it is believed that by exposing an infant before and after birth to small quantities of foreign proteins, the child’s immune system is stimulated to produce anti-bodies. Mothers are now encouraged to eat a wide range of foods during pregnancy, so that small amounts of all kinds of proteins can cross the placenta to sensitize the foetus. Mothers should also breastfeed for at least 4 months while eating a wide range of different foods. For infants that cannot be breastfed, hydrolysed infant formulas and goat’s milk formulas are a safer option than soy-based formulas. Soya is a well-known allergen which can cause as many allergic reactions as cow’s milk. Holding back on solid foods until baby is 5 months old is still recommended and using only one solid food at a time in small portions (1 teaspoon a day) to keep track of any adverse reactions. The latest research also suggests that pregnant women would do well to take supplemental probiotics every day for a few weeks before their due dates and while breast-feeding as this may help prevent childhood allergies. Bottle-fed and caesarian-section infants ought to be given probiotics orally from birth. Encouragingly most children, except those suffering from peanut allergy, outgrow their allergic response. Statistics show that 25% of infants are free of symptoms

May 24, 2017

No Such Thing As A Naughty Child

Naughty children, naughty corners, treats for good behavior, consequences for bad behavior, identifying one child as the naughty on and the other as the good one… It’s quite hard for our kids to grow up without some sense of themselves as either good or bad. The thing is that every single person on this planet has both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ traits. We are all sometimes helpful and sometime unhelpful, sometimes stingy and sometimes generous, sometimes pleasant and sometimes grumpy. Labeling a child is the first step to creating lifelong problems. When I work with parents I look at the limiting beliefs that they have picked up over their lifetime. The most predominant of these are a variation on one of the following: I am not worthy I am not lovable I am not good enough The main reason that 99% of adults are walking around with these beliefs running their lives is because they were given the message that we are supposed to always be good. Always be kind, happy, helpful, agreeable, loving, sharing. And so we end up rejecting one half of ourselves. EVERYONE is also mean, sad, uncooperative, difficult, hateful and stingy – sometimes. It depends on what is important to us how and when we display these traits, but we all have all of them. Labelling a child as naughty makes them believe that they only have the so-called negative end of this spectrum and not the ‘good’ traits. This is just as unhealthy as striving in vain to only have the ‘good’ traits and avoid the bad. In order to love ourselves and other people we need to embrace both sides. My favourite quote is by Dr John Demartini: “No matter what I have done, or not done, I am worthy of love”. Love is about wholeness. And most of our discipline gives the message of separation. No child can be one sided and this obsession with trying to make them this way is the very source of all our problems with discipline and the reason that our kids end up with limiting beliefs about themselves. Please do away with the naughty corner and the grow good corner. There is no such thing as a naughty child or a child that needs to get rid of one half of themselves to be ok. Every child will be cooperative sometimes and uncooperative at other times, helpful and unhelpful, respectful and rude – just like all the rest of us. Children deserve to be loved no matter what they have done or not done.

May 18, 2017

IS MY CHILD UNRESPONSIVE TO SLEEP TRAINING?

Sleep training. What a heated debate. Ask any parent that has been parenting in this century and they are sure to have an opinion about whether they are for or against it. In our experience, it has a great deal to do with what parents believe sleep training is, as many individuals don’t fully understand what it involves. That being said, some parents embark on the process of working on sleep problems by eliminating possible props and working on positive sleep associations… after a night or two of “sleep training” they feel that their child is “angry” at them and or more clingy than usual. Is this real? Or is it a perception that becomes reality? Laying the groundwork first Let us first stress that for the sake of this article we are going to assume that all fundamentals are in place. We cannot stress enough how important it is to have a holistic approach to sleep rather than diving straight to sleep training. Furthermore, attachment, and grounded parenting are even more important than sleep. Understand what your baby is going through If a child has always relied on drinking himself to sleep, or on multiple bottles at night, or any other series of events which have now changed with a new sleep regime, it is likely to result in some unhappiness and possibly crying – or just plainly less sleep. It is thus logical that for a day or two – while your child is going through these changes –your baby might be more cranky and/or tired. Allow them to catch up on sleep and don’t wake them from naps. Rawshanda Roth, Sleep Coach says: “You are asking him to do something new that he has never experienced before. Something that he has very few skills in and no confidence. Once the sleep skills start to develop, his confidence around sleep will improve. His temperament will be back to normal, but he should emerge much better rested which usually results in a happier, more emotionally balanced child.” Mother’s guilt – we all know this too well… As a mom you will know exactly what I am talking about. When we become parents we are born with a natural amount of guilt. We feel guilty about everything: we work too hard, we work too little, we don’t make healthy food choices for our kids, and we feel guilty for wanting more sleep or alone time… Be careful that when you are sleep training, that you are not self-projecting your own emotions and guilt onto your child. Could it be that you simply feel guilty about taking your baby’s dummy away? Could it just be a bad night? We wholeheartedly believe that babies – and adults – sometimes just have bad days for whatever reason. Never take one night or one day as an indication of how your baby responds or feels about something. It might just have been a bad night or day. (For example, if your child has been struggling with teething and you buy a product believed to help with teething, it would not be advisable to confirm the validity of the product after using the product for only one night or day). Trust yourself and your parenting There is a very thin line between trusting yourself as a parent and knowing when to ask for help. You have to trust yourself that you know your child best and that you have his/her best interest at heart. If something does not feel right, we advise you to look for all the factors that play a role – try to think about it logically, gather VALID evidence and then make a decision. Furthermore, once you have made a decision, it is important that you do not feel guilty about it, nor should you feel like a bad parent for changing your mind, changing direction or asking for help. Statistically, it does not happen often… Good Night recently conducted an informal study within the international sleep consulting sphere to determine whether other sleep consultants often get feedback from clients where they perceive their children to be clingier and unresponsive when performing sleep training and the result was a resounding “no”. More often than not it can be an empowering connecting experience if the parent can move beyond the “crying is a bad thing” to “crying is my child’s way of communicating”. In the case where your child is the exception to the rule and responds by being clingier – then respond with abundant love and assurance as in all cases where we’ve encountered this reality, it does pass very quickly. Remember also that your child’s temperament will have an effect on how they respond to sleep training. In a nutshell… Consequently, in a nutshell, do NOT ignore the root cause of any behaviour. Often, with a child not sleeping well, sleep training will be like treating the symptoms without curing the disease, in which case it is advisable to work with a professional. As Ann Caird, an expert in emotional wellness with over 30 years’ experience reminds us: “parents’ validation, connection and attuned response with crying usually has the opposite consequence of enhanced connection which supports the secure attachment.” An extra hour of time with your child with complete mindfulness might be all that your child (and you) need.

May 10, 2017

Having a baby? Have you considered birth photography?

That moment when you hear the baby crying for the first time always brings a lump to my throat. Watching the slideshow of a baby’s birth day is an emotional experience no matter how often you see it. And being there to photograph it for the family is one of the most rewarding things I have been doing for the last two and a half years. Birth photography is a new concept in South Africa. And yes, it does mean that a photographer is there and taking photographs at the birth of your baby. There is no posing or direction. It’s not intrusive and interfering. It’s respectful and honest. It’s about the relationships and events as they unfold. Many couples even forget that we are there. But they will never forget the birth of their baby because we’ve been there. Birth photography is about storytelling. The story of a birth told through images from the hour/s before the birth when anxiety levels are high and stress paints the faces of the parents, through the nerves of the birth itself, the relief and excitement following the birth and the sheer love and calm of bonding and getting to know the newest member of the family. Whether it’s a natural or C-Section delivery each birth story is unique and special in it’s own way and a professional birth photographer’s goal is to document YOUR exclusive story in a way that enhances your memories of your baby’s birth. Here are our top 8 reasons for commissioning a birth photographer… There is a lot happening during labour and birth and most labouring Moms are inwardly focused during this time. She has a big job to do. The photographs from the birth help the birthing Mom to see the details, the support offered as well as even her own strength and courage. She will most likely not be aware of her surroundings at the time. Many clients say they treasure seeing how their partner’s emotions change through the birth process and realizing how involved they really were and equally how strong and powerful they themselves were. Births typically take place in an environment with low light. There may only be a few candles to light the room and flash photography may not be allowed or may be too distracting. Your professional birth photographer will have the equipment and experience to take beautiful photos in this tricky lighting situation. It’s no piece of cake being able to take photos in the near dark and it doesn’t make sense for the birth partner to be struggling with this or finding afterwards that the photos didn’t come out well. Speaking of birth partners, when having a baby, you choose a birth partner to be present with you and FOR you. Having a professional birth photographer there allows your partner to do just that, and not be distracted by taking photos. It’s especially wonderful for their involvement to be recorded. Another area where experience really counts is that your birth photographer will have a good idea of how events during a birth are likely to unfold. This means that they are more ready to get those ‘once in a lifetime’ shots that are so special and important to you. A professional birth photographer is also aware of the medical environment that the birth is taking place in and will be able to ensure that they are not in the way of the medical professionals involved and pose not threat to the health and safety of the new baby. Let’s be honest. Birth is visceral. A birth photographer works hard to make sure that your photos are a tasteful reflection of the birth with as much modesty as you require. A difficult birth can be very traumatic. Seeing what happened from a different and perhaps more objective viewpoint has been very helpful in assisting with healing and acceptance after a traumatic birth experiences. After giving birth your primary focus is your little one. There is a lot going on and life as you knew it has changed and become fuller in every way… including your time. It’s definitely more limited. It’s a huge benefit having someone else take care of putting together yourbeautiful birth story for you so that you don’t land up with photos on different devices, which are probably not backed up and will most likely never be compiled into one succinct and easy to access memory for you to revisit again and again. With a box of tissues most likely. But don’t take our word for it. Our clients say it best. “How do I put into words how perfectly Bronwyn encapsulated the birth of our son into a moving birth (photo) story? Our proudest moment yet, so beautifully and modestly portrayed, for us to visit again and again (and again). Bronwyn was so discreet in the delivery room, and picked up on every emotion felt. Besides every one of our brand new baby, my favourite pictures are those where she captured my husband’s emotions. A relaxed composure at first, then he looked a bit stressed (with wild hair) as the delivery got more intense, and then the utter relief once Harvard was born. I am so grateful that she was there to freeze that perfect moment in time for us. Thank you Bronwyn.” – Jodi Next time I’ll go into a bit more detail about what you can expect from your birth photographer and how you can go about finding the right one. In the meantime you can visit www.gabp.co.za or look for Gauteng Association of Birth Photographers on Facebook for more information.

May 4, 2017

Cravings, Cravings, Cravings

‘Cravings’ are often the cause of overindulging and cheating on everyday healthy eating that contributes to weight gain. But…did you know that your ‘craving’ could be the cause of a deficiency in your diet or your body telling you that it needs a certain nutrient. Continue reading, if you want to know which nutrients you really need to nip those ‘cravings’ in the bud. Craving this…. Means you may be missing this… General overeating The science behind overeating, hunger and cravings is vast and can easily fill a book. We overeat for many reasons — hunger (the rumbling in your stomach) and appetite, of course — but also when we are tired or to celebrate, to be social, to soothe and to relieve boredom. However, a lack of silicon (found in nuts and seeds), tryptophan (found in cottage cheese, raisins, sweet potato and spinach) and tyrosine (present in orange, red, green fruits and vegetables, Vitamin C supplement) could also contribute to overeating. If you ‘crave’ the following foods, it could be your body telling you what you really need. Hormones and cravings As many as 70% of women suffer from PMS-related food cravings, bloating, fatigue, sleep disturbances, mood swings and irritability – any of which have the potential to sabotage a healthy diet. First, you have food cravings, usually for sweet, starchy foods with an underlay of fat, like chocolate ice cream. And then, your bad mood makes you say, ‘To hell with it!’ You lose your willpower to exercise and any control over what you are eating. What do we eat when those cravings hit? Chocolate is no. 1 on the hit parade, followed generally by other sweets. Salty foods, particularly chips, are a distant third. The hormonal ebbs and spikes that occur throughout a woman’s cycle are the major culprits in PMS. Cravings during PMS could further be exacerbated by a deficiency in zinc! Cravings, foods and moods Food also influences our mood and mood influences our food choices or could be the cause of you succumbing to that ‘craving’. If you find that your mood changes after meals and snacks, it may be that you’re lacking the nutrients that can help promote good mental health. Anxiety is often due to a deficiency of folic acid and magnesium. Folic acid can be found in foods such as meat, spinach, beetroot and asparagus. Depression could be made worse if your diet is lacking in vitamin B6 and B3 found in lean meat, oily fish (salmon, trout, tuna), whole grains, some fruits and vegetables as well as avocado. If poor concentration & attention is a problem then you need omega-3 fats and Vitamin B1 found in pork, seafood, whole grains, seeds and most vegetables. Insulin: Fuel for cravings Insulin resistance is a condition in which the body produces insulin but the body’s cells do not use the insulin properly. Insulin helps cells use blood glucose for energy. After you eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner, insulin is released into the bloodstream. Insulin’s job is to give muscles and organs permission to access sugar in the bloodstream. When people are insulin resistant, their muscle, fat and liver cells do not respond properly to insulin. As a result, their bodies need more insulin to help glucose enter cells. The pancreas tries to keep up with this increased demand for insulin by producing more. When there is too much insulin present, it contributes to sugar cravings as well as the “mid-afternoon lows.” Eventually, those sugar cravings lead to weight gain if we give in. Insulin resistance increases the risk of developing pre-diabetes, type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease. A person is classified as being insulin resistant if their middle circumference is >88cm (women) and >102cm (men). So get those measuring tapes out……or alternatively your Dietitian would be able to arrange for the necessary blood tests to be performed to determine if you are insulin resistant. Insulin resistance is a major global health concern that proves to be difficult to combat. Are you a victim? Tips on controlling those nasty cravings Have regular meals as well as snacks and DON’T skip meals. This will help maintain healthy blood sugar levels and prevent cravings. Limit starchy carbohydrates intake to meal times only and choose Low Glycemic Index starches. NO Starchy carbohydrate snacks – rather choose lean protein e.g. biltong, a small portion of nuts or yoghurt Exclude refined sugar like jelly, sweets or biscuits – this will only make the cravings worse! Know your metabolic rate: use it as an indication of the total carbohydrates that you need (and are allowed to eat) in a day –Your dietitian would be able to measure this for you. Have yourself checked out! Our dietitian’s take a complete diet history, assess your diet and establish which nutrients you are lacking in. Anél, Caryn or Sanmare can then advise you on how to make the necessary dietary changes to ensure a nutritionally balanced diet. If you are concerned about the nutritional adequacy of your diet, then make use of a good quality, comprehensive multi-vitamin/mineral supplement. Ask your dietitian for advice. Craving sugar and carbohydrates? Then consider using a chromium supplement. Chromium helps to maintain blood-sugar levels, by assisting insulin to do its job and keep the blood-sugar levels even which reduces sugar cravings. You require 200 mcg Chromium, twice a day, for control of cravings. Some forms of chromium may be toxic – so make sure you use the correct supplement. Discuss this with your dietitian, otherwise come and have a look at the practice where we stock the correct brands of chromium. Brushing your teeth is a tactic to help avoid late night snacking, which is mainly something that’s habitual. Many times when we eat late at night, it’s by force of habit, not because we are really ‘craving’ or hungry. Another tactic is to avoid the kitchen after a certain time at night, say 8pm. Many of us go in the kitchen like mindless zombies looking for stuff to munch on, so this “no kitchen re-entry” rule

May 2, 2017

HypnoBirthing® The Mongan Method

Birth is a deeply spiritual event, mysterious and miraculous. The arrival of a newborn is awe inspiring and ultimately life changing. But it is exactly how that newborn comes into this world that leaves many new parents heads spinning. There is so much fear of pain, blood, risk and pressure from every direction. Everyone expects birth to be painful and there is so much negativity toward any mother planning a natural birth. Imagine a dimly lit room with tranquil music playing in the background. A woman in labour is breathing deeply and connecting to her body and baby while her partner supports her by speaking words of encouragement and applying a gentle touch. Her midwife or Doctor respectfully monitors the mother until the baby is ready to be born. The mother adopts a position that she is most comfortable with and breaths a new life into the world. The baby is welcomed by two calm and loving parents. Overwhelmed by this precious new being, the new family are allowed to spend time bonding with little interference. A far more gentle start to life. HypnoBirthing® is a complete childbirth programme that teaches self hypnosis, relaxation and breathing techniques for a gentle and easier birth. A woman’s body knows instinctively how to give birth so there is no need to teach the mother “how to give birth”, but rather teach her how to rid herself of fear. When the mind and body are relaxed we can focus on birthing our babies gently. HypnoBirthing® was founded by Marie Mongan 18 years ago. As a qualified hypnotherapist and hypno-anaesthesiologist she developed this unique childbirth method to help eliminate fear and pain from childbirth. After her own daughter fell pregnant and expressed the desire to give birth naturally, Marie used her own knowledge of counselling and hypnotherapy to develop the HypnoBirthing® programme for her daughter and 2 friends. After these successes the programme grew wings. Many hypnotherapists and childbirth educators became practitioners and soon the appeal became mainstream. Today HypnoBirthing® is taught in 22 countries and that number keeps growing.. The origins of HypnoBirthing® lie with the work of Dr Grantly Dick-Read, a British physician in the early 1920’s. After extensive research and his own experiences with women in labour he came up with the Fear-Tension-Pain theory. The fear that a women feels during childbirth causes blood to flow away from her uterus into the arms and legs to help her flee from the anticipated dangerous situation. The more fear a woman has, the more tension is held in her body and the more pain she will feel. Some midwives even report that they have seen a uterus that is white with fear. Dr Read believed that if the woman can eliminate the fear, the uterus will return to its normal function. So why hypnosis? There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding hypnosis. Many people think it is some scary way to control someone’s mind or body. In truth hypnosis is merely a focused relaxation. You know the feeling you get when you are immersed in your favourite activity and the rest of the world disappears? By learning how to achieve this relaxed state you can control any tension caused by fear or anxiety. This allows a mom to approach birth feeling calm, confident, aware and in control. Not only do the breathing techniques teach you how to remain calm, release endorphins and improve your lung capacity but this relaxed birthing method has many benefits. It enhances pre-natal bonding and improves sleep throughout pregnancy. During labour moms experience less need for pain relief or interventions and often find that their labours are shorter. HypnoBirthing® babies are well known for being calmer, sleeping and feeding better. Moms recover faster as their births are less likely to be traumatic. There is also a decreased incidence of post natal depression for mothers. It is of course true that not every birth goes according to plan. Parents are therefore taught when to recognise the need for medical intervention. By making educated decisions mothers remain in control and are able to cope better often utilizing the breathing techniques to reduce stress. HypnoBirthing® allows couples to enjoy the incredible journey of bringing a new life into this world in a calm and centred manner. Through HypnoBirthing® a mother can learn to call upon her natural strength and ensure she is calm, confident and emotionally ready for the miracle of birth.

May 1, 2017

Is crawling important ?

As the saying goes, “You have to crawl before you can walk.” While there have been cases of babies bypassing crawling to go straight to walking, most babies will become proficient crawlers some time during the second half of their first year. Not all babies learn to crawl in the traditional fashion however. Some do a belly crawl (sliding along on their tummy) – and go straight from there to walking. Some babies prefer to remain upright and scoot around on their bottom rather than crawl. Others crawl backwards! Whether or not babies need to learn to crawl forwards is a matter for some debate. According to some paediatricians and paediatric textbooks, crawling is not an important developmental milestone. The method of locomotion is irrelevant, say the experts, so long as babies learn to get from A to B. However, according to childhood educator Glenn Doman, a pioneer in the field of right-brain training, crawling forwards is an essential skill to master. Doman claims that crawling stimulates the brain to develop convergence of vision – and that as a result, people who skip this phase as babies may find it extremely difficult to learn to read and write as children. In addition, children who missed out on crawling may suffer from speech problems, he says – because the same part of the brain controls both functions. In cases where a child skipped crawling or did very little crawling as a baby, Doman recommends practicing crawling every day for six months. To get a child who knows how to walk to do this, it will probably be necessary for her parents to get down on the floor and crawl around with her! (This should not be tried until two-and-a-half to three years of age, as before that, children are too enamoured with the newfound freedom of walking.) It may sound a little outlandish, but Glenn Doman mothers have attested to their success in improving a child’s speech simply by getting her to practice crawling. The prone position If the importance of crawling is a matter for some debate, the placing of babies in the prone position (on their tummies) is an even more controversial issue, because it could be a matter of life and death. The question is: does sleeping in the prone position put babies at greater risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), or crib death? According to some experts, yes – and the current wisdom is to always put babies to sleep on their backs. According to Glenn Doman, it is more natural for babies to sleep on their tummies. He adds that nighttime is an important time to make use of the prone position, as tiny babies actually belly crawl in their sleep. Which advice you choose to follow at bedtime is up to you. What seems clear though is that maximising tummy time during the day can do no harm – and can indeed encourage the development of your baby’s motor skills. Once in the prone position, your baby will instinctively lift his head (helping to develop his neck muscles), push up with his arms (helping to develop his arm and chest muscles) and push off the floor with his legs (helping to develop his leg and hip muscles). According to Doman, babies get bored when we place them on their backs and leave them to look at mobiles. What they really want is to explore the world – and putting them on their tummies gives them the opportunity to do this. Once in the prone position, a baby can see nearby objects and feels motivated to get over to them. Doman recommends that babies spend a minimum of four waking hours in the prone position – thought that time can be divided into short segments. This is in addition to the time the baby will spend on her tummy while asleep. In reality, many babies hate tummy time – especially if they have not been in the prone position much since birth. Many parents report that their baby fusses or cries to be rescued – even when the baby was the one to turn onto his tummy in the first place! How you deal with this will come down to the degree of importance you place in developing mobility early, as well as your comfort level with your baby crying. Doman recommends that you get down on the floor with your baby. In this position, you can encourage and reassure him, even while refusing to pick him up. Paediatricians generally recommend regular tummy time – although the importance they place on it varies considerably. Some doctors point out that babies are not ready to crawl until they have developed the muscles needed to sit well unsupported. Babies don’t usually cry out of a failure to do something, they say, but rather because the activity being asked of them is developmentally beyond their reach. However, the fact that babies can belly crawl from birth is well documented – and it is this at-first-instinctive crawl that usually leads to the most advanced type: crawling on all fours in a cross pattern (where the right arm moves with the left leg and vice versa). If you decide to follow Glenn Doman’s advice, and can see out the difficult initial period, you should find that your baby stops fussing in the prone position. Indeed, once she has discovered the joys of mobility, she will probably prefer to be on her tummy than in any other position. Learning to crawl Crawling – assuming your baby does it – normally starts between 6 and 10 months of age. Besides giving your baby regular tummy time, preferably on the floor, there are several things you can do to make it easier for him to get moving. Do not overdress your baby, as this would hamper the movement of his limbs and joints. When possible, leave your baby’s feet, knees and elbows bare, as this will give him better grip. To help

April 24, 2017

Things you Should NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman

This is a very serious post! A pregnant woman has more hormones and generally get less sleep than a new mom. So, if you upset her, you might unleash a dragon. All kidding aside, I still very clearly remember my last pregnancy as it was only a couple of weeks ago, Some of the things people said to me actually blew my mind. I was not small in either of my pregnancies and both my kiddies were over 4.2 kg each. I ended up picking up 25 kg and 27 kg, even though, basically all I did was vomit for 5 months. I am that body type that picks up weight easily, an Endomorph the professionals like to call it. The weight is distributed evenly too, so no skinny legs and little bump. So, what were the worst things people said to me during both pregnancies? “WOW, YOU’RE HUGE!” This one is a goodie. It is like people feel the need to tell you how you feel. Well folks, let me explain something here, even when you are pregnant, you still have feelings and it is never nice to hear that you are huge (even when you are). “DON’T SNEEZE, YOU MIGHT JUST HAVE THE BABY NOW” This is fantastic too. Seriously, if sneezing could get my 4kg + babies out, it would save me a huge amount of time and unnecessary pain. Life would be much simpler. “ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE NOT HAVING TWINS?” ah, the inevitable. Yes, I am sure I am not having twins. I have had multiple scans and there is only one baby in there. But I have also had friends that struggled with the opposite problem and my heart went out to them. They were very small and didn’t show very much in the tummy. Again, people said things without thinking. “ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE PREGNANT?” is one of them. “ARE YOU EATING ENOUGH? And even some people go as far as saying that maybe something is wrong and that is why you don’t have a big tummy. These poor moms, just smiled and put on a brave face. So here come my words of wisdom: Think before you speak! Seriously, think about what you are saying. The moms’ medical decisions are her decisions and if she wanted your opinion, she would ask for it. Remember that pregnant woman have feelings too! Keep the horror stories to yourself too. Next time you are faced with a pregnant woman perhaps ask her how she is doing and if you can help with anything. She will really appreciate it. Preggy moms, it is tough being bigger than normal. You go through so much with the aches and pains, heartburn, and nausea. Just remember why you are doing it! The reward it worth it. Some of the best advice I ever received was don’t compare! Everyone is different, so there is no point trying to compare yourself to everyone else. Even each pregnancy is different, so try approach each individually too. Try to have a healthy pregnancy and more importantly do what feels right. A mother’s instinct is strong! The difficulties of pregnancy are one thing but it doesn’t just become super easy once baby arrives either. Your life will never be the same again. You might have a need for things to go back to normal. Striving for a new normal is a more attainable goal. That is where “Balance your lifestyle” comes into play. This is a toolkit for moms that I designed to help you find balance and that new normal, you are looking for. As a Wellness Coach and mom of 2, I had a real need for some sort of structure and balance in my life once I had my kiddies. I quickly saw many other moms were struggling with the same issues and put together this course. So what is it all about? Balance your lifestyle is a 6 module course. Each module is between 30 and 45 mins and they are normally structured on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. The course can be done in person in Johannesburg (Bryanston) or though skype for other areas. What do we cover? Session 1 is all about the end goal. Figuring out what you want and having a game plan on how to get there. This covers your lifestyle and career aspects too. When asking someone what they want out of life, quite often they say, they want to be happy. Yet, cannot define what would actually make them happy. This really helps you define your end goals. Session 2 is all about what makes you tick? Your personality, what fuels your fire? What do you need and what do you need to avoid to get the best out of your relationships. We also chat about the book Love languages, what they mean to you and how to incorporate this technique into you family. Session 3 is all about time. Breaking it down and making it work for you. Aligning your mindset and getting organised. A few small tricks can end up saving you a huge amount of time long term. Session 4 is your personalised stress beating solution. We will establish a solid plan to manage stress, increase your energy levels and boost your immune system. Session 5 is about making peace with your body. Learning to love and appreciate it. How to have a positive self-image and pass that process on to our kids. Session 6 sinks down a bit deeper and looks at how we carry ourselves from posture to etiquette. We also cover your closet detox and coming up with your unique new style. This full course is valued at R4799 for 6 sessions but will be available for a limited time for R1899 payable over 2 months. R949 per month for 2 months . Email admin@bitsandbobsformoms.co.za for a free session. You will also go into the draw to win a free course. This could seriously

April 6, 2017

The Best Kept Secret

Having a baby is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but it can sometimes feel traumatic, depressing and frightening. A woman I know who has 3 grown up children and a grandchild on the way said to me, “everyone is so excited and happy when a 1st pregnancy is announced, but I just want to say, ‘oh shame, you poor thing…you have no idea what you’re in for…but of course I don’t say that…I just say, ‘congratulations and pretend to be delighted as well”. Lots of people will own up to the ‘best kept secret’ that babies are sometimes hard and parenthood – particularly motherhood can be grueling – at the same time, of course, as being the best thing in the world. SOME FACTS Women are more likely to become depressed in the first year after having a baby (and the last trimester in pregnancy) than any other time in their lives. 10-15% of mothers develop postnatal depression (pnd), and in developing countries and poverty stricken areas, the figures are much higher. Research has shown that 1/3 of Khayelitsha moms suffer from pnd. Suicide is the leading cause of maternal death in developed countries. The new father can also get depressed. Dads often feel left out and unwanted when babies come along. As a new mom, it’s so hard to feel frustrated, disappointed, confused, depressed and anxious when you’re expected to be blissfully happy. The media contributes to this problem by perpetuating a lie about motherhood and babies by publishing only pictures of young, beautiful, skinny, model mothers, and bouncy, smiley, contented babies. There are relatively few pictures in baby and parenting magazines of the graveyard shift, mothers looking and feeling like hell, trying to soothe an unhappy baby, trying to breastfeed a screaming baby who can’t seem to latch, etc. In the context of this fairy tale, idealized image of how motherhood and babies are supposed to be, the reality can feel like a huge let down. It can even feel like a betrayal. The Cape Town couple, Lisa Lazarus and Greg Fried co-wrote The book of Jacob which, unlike most other books about babies, is an honest, frank description of the hell they experienced during the first year of their son’s life. Although loads of people have loved this book and find it a huge relief that others too struggle with parenthood, Lisa and Greg have received hate mail from outraged readers who couldn’t bear the fact that these brave parents owned up to how hard it can be having a baby. In writing this book, they shattered the image of perfect, idealized babies and parents. The truth is that real babies can disappoint their parents sometimes …especially sick babies, colicky or refluxy babies, unplanned babies, high need babies who cry a lot and are irritable and difficult to soothe, babies who don’t feed well, and babies who are abnormal or handicapped in some way. It’s very disappointing when you realize that your baby can’t meet your own unmet needs and he won’t be everything you want him to be. In addition to this, motherhood goes hand in hand with a substantial number of significant losses, such as: your sense of self and aspects of your identity your own life takes a back seat and the level of self-sacrifice is very high your freedom and personal space and time your status and credibility (motherhood is undervalued) your relationship with your spouse becomes altered your sexuality and physical appearance…there’s no time or energy to make yourself look beautiful and most moms would rather sleep than have sex your career and financial freedom independence and marital equality energy levels are compromised sleep deprivation takes a terrible toll on your mental state your mental health can become compromised WHAT CAN HELP? The loving support of a spouse is really important! Part of the dad’s role in the beginning is to look after the new mother. Support from friends and family is also protective, as long as it is the kind of support that empowers rather than controls. Often your own mother can be the most powerful factor that either strengthens or undermines your ability to cope as a new mom. Connecting with other people, especially other new moms, is extremely important. New mothers are often socially isolated, and being alone with an unhappy baby is not easy. If you find yourself struggling as a new parent or if you need emotional support or guidance with your baby, contact one of our Babies in Mind practitioners in your area, either to join one of our workshops, attend one of our talks, or for individual consultations. All our practitioners are mental health professionals with specialized training and expertise. Find us at www.babiesinmind.co.za or on Facebook or contact Jenny Perkel 021 4619153 or jenny@perkel.co.za

March 23, 2017

The ultimate baby shower gift list: What a new mom really wants and needs.

Baby showers come around every now and then for most ladies, until you reach a certain age, then they seem to become a monthly occurrence. Gift opening most often seems to be the highlight of the day with many oohh’s and aahh’s as the tiny outfits and other gifts are put on display. BUT what does mom really want for her expectant baby and more importantly, what are those items she really needs? The ones she is going to use regularly and appreciate? I had my first baby shower in 2014 and decided on doing a registry with my mom and two sisters. Besides it being a ton of fun, it was a complete guess of what I would need for my little boy. I already had the big stuff, the cot, compactum, car seat and pram. Everything else seemed confusing. Now that I am getting ready for baby number 2. It seemed like the perfect time to put together my list for my little girl. All those things I have found to love. Hopefully this helps you too. Baby shower gifts for mom Pillows! Don’t underestimate the power of a good pillow or two. I love the Frankie Beans Maternity pillow It is great to use under your bump, between the legs, to support the back or even in the car. The long cuddling pillow as I like to call it.Will become almost part of you at sleep time. I like to wedge it between my legs and under my tummy. Giving me some awesome support and some well-deserved sleep. One of the best possible gifts an expectant mom could get is a massage. No jokes! It is one of the only things that can make you feel better when carrying all the extra weight. (Well that and sitting in a pool). The benefits for circulation are great and it can also relieve back and joint pain. Anxiety during pregnancy can be over whelming and regular massage can assist with managing your anxiety and even depression by regulating your hormones. When anxiety during pregnancy occurs, and is not treated it can increase your chances of having post-partum depression when baby is born. Make sure when choosing were to go for your massages that you pick someone that is qualified in pregnancy massage so they can support you and look out for indications such as possible blood clots and varicose veins. Remember to always check with your Dr before receiving a massage if you struggle from hypertension, pre-eclampsia, severe swelling or are considered a high-risk pregnancy. Tips: Don’t lie on one of those beds with the holes cut out for the tummy. They can cause uterine ligaments to stretch. Make sure you lie on your side with support for your tummy and between your legs. The therapist should always use safe oils for pregnancy. My favourite spot for preggy massage is Mommy wellness. They are focused on treating pregnant moms and even moms with tots. Do yourself a favour and check them out. Pregnancy is also an important time to review your skin and hair care products. It is not often that we look at the ingredients that are found in our products but during pregnancy, we should really stick to as natural as possible. Avoid retinyl palmitate, retinaldehyde, adapalene, tretinoin, tazarotene and isotretinoin as they may cause birth defects. Hydroquinone is used to lighten the skin but this these treatments should be put on hold until baby is born. Formaldehyde is found in some hair products and nail polishes. Try use Formaldehyde-free products whenever possible. Lilian Terry offers natural alternative to the harsh and sometimes damaging chemicals in everyday products. They use a combination of homeopathy and aromatherapy. A lovely add on for the preggy mom is their Lillian Terry Stretch mark oil and the Lillian Terry Vascu Flow for water retention Milk screen is definitely a must for your nappy bag too. They are fabulous, easy to use test strips that test for alcohol in Breast Milk. Giving you the confidence to know when you are able to feed your baby after having a glass of wine. Baby Shower gifts for your little one ShooShoos are the best. They come in a variety of sizes and colours are are super easy to slip on. They are available from newborn to 24 months. Great skincare is vital for baby from day one. Being a wellness coach and having over 15 years’ experience in Health and wellness and specifically skincare this is something I am very passionate about. I would like all parents to be understand what is inside of their products but also know what they are putting on baby’s skin. Email admin@bitsandbobsformoms.co.za for a free copy of my Ebook: The natural way, a guide to skincare and natural therapies for babies and children. Pure Beginnings tick all my boxes for kid’s skincare. I love the toothpaste, body wash and bath bubbles. I have also recently tried out the pro-biotic lotion on my little boy. Even with his eczema it has worked wonders. Sleep sacks were always necessary for my little boy in winter. He hated blankets from day 1 and kicked them off every night. The sleep sack kept him warm and cosy. I have one for each stage of growth and really recommend them for kiddies that kick their blankets off. I didn’t actually buy any and was lucky enough to be given all of mine but Moo Moo has some options that are pretty reasonably priced Baby Shower gifts for the breastfeeding mom Breastfeeding your new baby can be such an amazing, fulfilling experience. It can also be exhausting and at times tough. Another support pillow, can really help you keep your posture and avoid back ache. I used this one that was very similar to this one and really loved it. Prepping the breasts for baby is another controversial topic. There are loads of old wife tales out there, that sound like pure pain.

February 10, 2017

Beating The Baby Blues

Having a baby is a momentous event. The kind of event that kicks you so far out of your comfort zone that you don’t even know what planet you’re on. We all know about the nice side of it – the miracle of a new life, the immense and overwhelming love, the snuggling baby at your bosom. In fact, we’re inundated with images and articles and information about how wonderful it is to have a baby. But what about the dark side? What people seldom talk about is how tough it is – how those first days and weeks are so overwhelming and scary and strange and intimidating. Nobody tells you how difficult it is to care for another little being when you are trying to recover both physically and emotionally from a birth. Nobody speaks about the terror of leaving the hospital with a stranger in your arms – one that doesn’t even speak your language. Your antenatal classes were unlikely to show you video footage of what prisoners of war look like after a few weeks of sleep deprivation. The magazines are not filled with pictures of mothers crumpled on the floor in their pyjamas weeping. We see movies of mothers doting on their newborns, not mothers calling the cops to take their screaming baby away from them before they kill it. We hear stories of overwhelming love, not overwhelming disinterest. We get advice on how to breastfeed not advice on how to not commit suicide. And I feel that it is the lack of this other side of life that causes half of the problems with post-natal depression. All depression has an element of fantasy in it. We become depressed because we compare reality with how we hoped or wished it would be (the fantasy) and then find our life to be somewhat lacking. Now if you are bombarded with information telling you that motherhood is instantly wonderful, that you will fall in love with your baby at first sight, that your life will be changed forever in wonderful ways, and then this is not your experience, you’re already on the slippery slope to depression. I believe that new mothers ought to have a more balanced perspective and a more realistic picture of what they’re in for. Of course there are good sides to having kids, but they don’t always surface immediately. It is normal, for instance, to not love your baby instantly. You are tired, emotionally and physically recovering, in shock, overwhelmed, confused and often feeling a bit panicky. There may not be space in your internal world for a rush of love and affection. That’s ok. It doesn’t mean you will never love your child or that you won’t care for them, or that there is anything wrong with you. It is also normal to really struggle in the first weeks and months. Everyone tells you that caring for your child is a natural instinct, but how many of us are in touch with our natural instincts? Some things you may figure out on your own, some things you’ll mess up and others you may need to ask for help. That’s ok. You are not a bad mother if you don’t know what to do or if you can’t interpret your baby’s every cry. It is normal to lose it sometimes. Go and watch those videos of sleep-deprived soldiers! Even the toughest, trained men will fold under the pressure of not getting some much-needed rest. You may collapse in a weeping heap, you may shout at your baby, you may think you’re losing your mind, you may do crazy or irrational things. You are not insane, you are not a bad person, you are not unable to cope. Having a baby will turn your world upside down. It takes time to adjust. It takes time to find a rhythm. It takes time to feel like yourself again. You may even go through a period of resenting your baby, your partner, yourself. You may question your choices. You may want to run away. You may throw things. It does ultimately settle down. You will eventually find the good side. And if you don’t, there are plenty of people out there who can help you. Find a coach or a therapist or a good friend (particularly one who has gone through what you are going through). Most importantly, know that where there is a positive there is a negative and where there is a negative there is a positive. Babies are like life, they come with both sides. The more prepared you are for reality (and not fantasy) the more likely you are to take it in your stride.

January 9, 2017

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT BUY OR BORROW A SECOND HAND BREAST PUMP

With the cost of living these days, life can be stressful. We have been forced to cut back where we can and remove things we really don’t need, just to survive. There are certain things that are great to get second hand. Second hand clothes are also fantastic, especially with them outgrowing those cute little outfits every couple of months. So, why not Breast pumps? I am sure as tempting as it may be to save money in this department after knowing the facts, you will feel the same way I do. First, not all breast pumps are the same. Hospital grade pumps work on a “closed system” meaning the milk never touches the working parts of the pump. You buy your own Kit for these pumps and you take that home with you and sterilise it as per instructions. With personal use pumps the pump motor is open to contact the mother’s milk particles. The motor cannot be sterilised. The scary part is that milk particles may be inside the pump without them being visible. So what’s the big deal? Your milk is perfect for your baby but before giving your milk to another mom, it would need to be pasteurised to kill any dangerous viruses. These viruses can be passed on to your baby and make the baby seriously ill. A mom may have a virus in her milk without even knowing that she is a carrier. You may think a virus is no big deal but we are talking out HIV, CMV and more. These diseases can go undetected for a long period of time so the mom sharing or selling the pump may not even know she is infected yet. Another difficult thing to clear are fungal infections like thrush. Make sure to follow guidelines by manufacturers on hygiene and sterilisation to avoid this. Sore nipples are no joke and neither is a sore and unhappy baby. Don’t put your baby’s life at risk, it is not worth it. Either rent a hospital grade pump with your own kit or purchase your own personal use pump. Tips for purchasing a Breast pump: Always buy from reputable stores Make sure your box is sealed Follow all hygiene and sterilising instructions inside the box. Not sure what the best fit is for you? Every breastfeeding mum has different needs. With a wide range of breast pumps on the market, each one designed to suit a certain lifestyle or situation. Step 1: Decide how often you are going to be expressing? If this answer is more than twice a week then a double pump is necessary. Double pumping compared to single pumping has many scientifically proven benefits: You may get 18% more milk in a 15 minutes pumping session. Your milk has a higher energy content, which is especially beneficial for preterm babies. Last but not least, high energy content indicates increased breast drainage, thereby it is assisting in the maintenance of lactation. Double pumping is twice as fast as single pumping. If you will be feeding twice a week or less a manual or electric pump will suit your needs. This is perfect for the stay at home mom that plans to breastfeed her baby. She can express breastmilk occasionally when planning to be away from her baby. Step 2: Are you going back to work? Most moms have no choice and need to go back to work after the 4 month maternity leave time period. What happens if you would continue to feed your baby breastmilk? You would need to pump for every feed you will miss. This means pumping 3-4 hourly. Most moms work 8 hours a day and would need to pump between 3 and 4 times a day. If you are pumping so often, you would need the most effective and easiest option. Step 3 : Is baby premature or multiple Births? Twins? You would need to start off with renting a hospital grade pump to have the best results. This is it! If your baby was born too early or is ill. You are both still in the hospital and you need help to establish your milk supply the symphony is really the best option. This is a critical time and your breast milk could make all the difference to your baby’s well-being. Once you and your baby have both been discharged from the hospital and neither of you is experiencing any breastfeeding challenges, then you can decide on which breast pump to use depending on your needs. Well done to all the mommy’s that have persevered and continued to breastfeed and express even when it has been tough. Your baby will not only receive optimal nutrition but also protection from infection.

January 9, 2017

Breast Feeding For Beginners

If you are fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed your baby, you will find that there’s probably nothing else that can compare to the bond and love that you share with your baby at this time. And of course, breastmilk is a complete food. It contains at least 400 nutrients, as well as hormones and disease-fighting compounds, that aren’t present in formula milk. Its nutritional makeup even adjusts to your baby’s needs as she grows. Mothers are encouraged to try to breastfeed for at least six months. This is particularly good for your baby but also great for mom! Breastfeeding can help you lose that pregnancy weight quicker and is said to : Lower your risk of breast cancer Protect against ovarian cancer before menopause Reduce your risk of developing type 2 diabetes Feeding baby breastmilk can improve baby’s cognitive development and could even make baby more intelligent. Babies who are exclusively breastfed from birth are much less likely to become ill in their first year of life because breastmilk fends off illnesses such as : Gastroenteritis Pneumonia and bronchiolitis Ear infections Whilst there is no scientific proof, breastfed babies do tend to have lower rates of severe eczema than babies who were fed on formula and breastfeeding could delay the onset of eczema if baby has this tendency. Studies have shown that adults who were breastfed as babies, when compared to those who were formula-fed : Had lower blood pressure Had lower cholesterol levels Were less likely to become obese Were less likely to develop type 2 diabetes Whether or not you feel comfortable about breastfeeding in front of other people, you do have the right to breastfeed in public places. Whilst shirts that you have to unbutton and are fiddly to deal with, will make you feel exposed as you feed, stretchy tops that you can pull up work well with a Baby Wrap Carrier, you can easily pull your top up without being exposed in any way. Drape a scarf, muslin or blanket over your shoulder and chest while you feed. This will give you and your baby privacy. Do make sure, however, that your baby can breathe easily! Breastfeeding your baby when she’s hungry is your first priority, so try not to feel self-conscious about doing what’s best for her. If you feel unsure about any aspects of breastfeeding, don’t hesitate to consult your nearest clinic or healthcare practitioner – they are the experts and will always be able to steer you in the right direction. Above all, enjoy the opportunity to breastfeed and treasure these special moments with your baby – it won’t last forever!

November 29, 2016

An open letter to divorcing parents

Dear Parents, Divorce/separation sucks for the simple reason that when two people get together and have children, they make plans to build a future together. They do not plan for an eventual separation. So when it eventually happens, everything as they know it, crumbles. Everything will be different, and that is scary as hell. Today, thanks to extensive resources available, providing a wealth of information on all aspects of separation and referencing many people having gone through a separation before, separating parents are being presented with more options to separate with less trauma, and receive more knowledge on how to face and proceed mindfully with this life changing event. It gifts them a head start to engage on this journey in a manner that will not only allow them to move forward with less anger and bitterness, but mostly in sparing their children from broken childhood memories. Yet, there is increasing evidence of a rise in parental conflicts, court battles, evasion of parental roles and responsibilities, and using the children to control certain outcomes of their agreements not being met. Life is a never ending learning process. To discard available information and valuable support, is choosing to be a victim of your circumstances. Yes, a separation is distressing and hard on a person. It can make you feel like there is little justice and that life isn’t fair, but it should not become an excuse to waste your life focusing on a dream that did not materialise. Instead, evaluate if your conflicts are about hurting your ex or rather hurting your sons and daughters, because your conflicts are wounding your children in ways they cannot control. Recognise that there is in fact no problem. What you see as a problem is actually a change of direction. It’s not the end, it’s not a beginning. It’s a transition that allows you to plan for some different and new life choices. The time has come for separating and separated parents to address the crisis their families are in when going through a divorce/separation. Parents who are hostage to an acrimonious battle over custody and/or maintenance are not fighting for what is in the best interest of their children, they are out to hurt and destroy each other, no matter who stands in the cross fire. It is time to raise awareness that being in control of your emotions is the solution to forgiveness and healing, so that you can mend, and not destroy, your children’s families. The time is now to change the way you, parents, separate, so that you can give your sons and daughters a life which feels normal being happy and not which feels normal being broken. The Law doesn’t raise children, parents do! Nadia Thonnard

November 16, 2016

IS THERE A PROBLEM IF MY BABY DOESN’T CRAWL?

You might have heard some people say that crawling is vitally important, while others say it is not. Many people have said “My baby never crawled and he is fine” or “I don’t think it’s that important”. Personally I prefer not to listen to everyone’s opinions, but to look at the research. Not only do I work in this field, but I am a mommy of a son who didn’t crawl. A super intelligent boy who has low muscle tone and is double jointed. So I too was wondering what all the fuss was about when our Paediatrician sent us to the baby Physio. What advantages are there to crawling? It is important to understand that the development of Gross motor skills is essential for the development of fine motor skills. These two go hand-in-hand. Firstly crawling builds strength in all the muscles around the shoulders. Without strength in these muscles, he will have great difficulty in stabilising his arm while doing intricate functions with his hands, such as drawing or doing a puzzle. Here you can see that crawling is essential for physical development. It develops gross and fine motor skills, balance and hand-eye co-ordination. This is where the problem was lying for us. My son is double jointed in his shoulders and he could physically not carry his own weight there. The strengthening of these muscles are vitally important for fine motor skills as well. Muscles getting tired easily and quickly means that holding a pencil in the correct pencil grip is a challenge for example. Secondly it develops bilateral co-ordination. This means that both the left and right sides of the brain and body communicate with each other at the same time. This is called cross-lateral integration, and it builds a foundation for future skills such as speech and language development, as well as movements that cross the mid-line like reading, writing and tying shoe laces. Another obvious advantage is the freedom to explore. Yes this means bumping of head and packing away anything that could be dangerous but it has so many benefits. It helps develop visual spatial skills and depth perception. It also builds self-confidence as baby learns to make his own decisions and to take risks. What do I do if my baby doesn’t crawl? There are many ways to determine the problem and help. As a start it is important to not push baby to crawl too soon. The average is at around 9 months, but if he is a little slower it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is a problem. If you are concerned have a chat to your paediatrician about it. There are also lots of games and exercises you can do to help encourage weight bearing on the arms. Before actually crawling baby needs to be able to stand on all fours with his bum in the air, you can help him do this by rolling a towel underneath his tummy and lifting him up into the crawl position. Once baby can do this himself, he will start rocking and many start moving backwards first, before crawling forward. My son did the bum shuffle, and never actually crawled on all fours. If your child is the same don’t despair you can help develop all these skills and muscles at an older age too. Play crawling games as a toddler over an obstacle course is a good option. You can also do wheelbarrow walks or races. This is where your child walks on his hands, while you hold his feet. These and many more are all activities included in the SkidZ Clever Activity Box curriculum. It includes daily activities for all the different milestones and helps baby develop all the necessary skills through play. The program was developed by experts in the field of early childhood development and so you can have the peace of mind that all areas are covered. The program is not only good for parents to know what age appropriate activities to do with baby, but it is perfect for nannies too. Children learn and build relationships through play and this is what our program aids in. For more info please contact me at chantelle@skidz.co.za You can also get in touch via our facebook page www.facebook.com/skidzsa and our website www.skidz.co.za

November 3, 2016

Breastfeeding is key to sustainable development

Breastfeeding is a critical foundation for the 17 Sustainable Development Goals adopted by the UN General Assembly in September 2015. These goals are intended to end poverty and to fight inequality and injustice, to ensure that no individual is left behind, and to direct world-wide development onto a sustainable path. “Breastfeeding is not just vital for the health and wellbeing of infants, it is vital for the wellbeing of our society and our planet,” says Chantell Witten, Senior Lecturer/Researcher at the North-West University and Breastfeeding spokesperson for the South African Civil Society for Women’s, Adolescents’ and Children’s Health (SACSoWACH). “Breastfeeding saves energy and water, eliminates hunger, reduces pollution, increases earnings, and improves educational outcomes,” says Witten, “As such we need to ensure that we prioritise breastfeeding and support mothers because neglecting these duties harms our entire society.” A month’s supply of formula for an infant is estimated to cost R700, and this increases as a baby grows. This does not include the extra costs of energy and water consumed by formula feeding. In low income households these expenses can make the difference between the rest of the family eating sufficient protein or going hungry. This can exacerbate inequality and make it harder for families to depart from poverty. By contrast, the $35 Billion (R500 billion) breastmilk substitute industry uses enormous amounts of both water and energy and produces tons of waste. This is despite the fact that scientists have proven that “breastfeeding is nutritionally, immunologically, neurologically, endocrinologically, economically, and ecologically superior to breastmilk substitutes (BMS), and does not require quality control of manufacture, transport, storage, and feeding mechanisms.”2 Breastfeeding materially affects the long term earning and educational potential of infants. The Breastfeeding Series3, an evidence-based report published this year in the Lancet, found that “breastfeeding [is] consistently associated with higher performance in intelligence tests in children and adolescents.” This increase in intelligence quotient (IQ) scores is linked directly to higher earnings throughout adulthood. Breastfeeding also has long term health benefits for children. The Lancet reports that breastfeeding reduces the incidence of type 2 diabetes by as much as 35% and the incidence of obesity by 13%. This, in turn, reduces the burden on public health systems which frees up resources to be used for poverty alleviation.2 Despite all the benefits to both infants and society, less than 7% of South African mothers currently breastfeed exclusively for six months. As such SACSoWACH has committed to accelerate improvement in breastfeeding rates over the next three years, and to both support and monitor the South African National Department of Health’s efforts in this area. “Babies need ‘Mom Made’, not man-made – science proves this conclusively. Because breastmilk is not ‘free’, it costs time and commitment, we need to invest more in building a culture of breastfeeding. We need to support, educate and encourage mothers to keep breastfeeding for at least the first 12 months of their baby’s life,” concludes Witten. To get involved please visit sacsowach.org or e-mail info@sacsowach.org

September 16, 2016

Tummy Time

As a new parent, you have more than likely been told by your doctor that baby needs to always be on his/her back when being put down to sleep or take a nap. However, it is just as important that baby does spend time on his/her tummy during the day whilst awake and during periods of time where mom or dad can supervise. Babies now spend much of their days on their back on relatively hard surfaces – at night, in a crib or bassinet, or in a bed; during the day, in a pack and play, car-seat and stroller. All of this time on their backs can lead to a flattening of the back of the head. It also leads to weaker neck muscles, as the baby never has a chance to exercise their neck lying on their back. Because of this, baby experts and health professionals now call for a prescribed amount of tummy time for baby each day, allowing baby to strengthen their neck and take the pressure off the back of their head for a while. Since your baby will be spending so much time laying on his/her back, tummy time will help to strengthen their little neck muscles which will ultimately assist in achieving other physical milestones. So what is tummy time, we hear you ask? “Tummy time is when your infant lays on his (or) her stomach while supervised,” says Wendy Wallace, DO, a paediatrician at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia Care Network. Tummy time includes a variety of activities, positions, and routines to keep your infant spending a significant amount of time on his/her tummy. Whether or not they enjoy it, and it seems most don’t at first, your baby needs this time to practice lifting their head, then pushing up from the ground. Experts say that they have found that babies who don’t spend time on their tummy’s can experience certain development difficulties with their motor skills. Facing down is an unfamiliar position for baby and so it’s natural for baby to feel uncomfortable and perhaps even abandoned. And this is where ‘Baby Wearing” is proving to be more beneficial for baby. “Baby wearing” doubles as tummy time, and if you’re wearing baby for an hour, or a number of hours, each day, they receive much more exercise for their little neck and back than they would have during the prescribed amount of tummy time. The added benefit is that because baby is being kept of his/her back, there is less chance of developing a flat head. When a baby is in a sling, especially once they are in an upright position, which is possible from birth and ideal from four or six months and up, their core muscles are constantly engaged as their parent moves and goes about their day. Though baby’s body is well-supported, safe and secure in the carrier, small shifts in their parent’s body position cause them to shift as well, in turn strengthening their muscles. They also lift their heads to see or to turn their head, which strengthens their neck in the same way tummy time would. The Hugseez from BabyLegends is an absolute must for baby wearing. Manufactured in South Africa the Hugseez is highly recommended. It has been specially designed to carry baby against mom, in the most comfortable and comforting manner. Baby is kept close to mom’s heart and yes, dad can carry baby in the Hugseez too! Available in colours to suit your taste, you can visit www.babylegends.co.za to place you’re your order.

September 9, 2016

Breastfeeding could save the lives of thousands of infants affected by drought

South Africa is currently suffering one of the worst droughts in recorded history. This poses a major health risk to thousands of infants in drought ridden areas, which can be largely mitigated by simply supporting and encouraging breastfeeding mothers. “Disaster areas are particularly dangerous for infants because their fragile immune systems struggle to cope with stressors like overcrowding, lack of access to clean water and lack of quality medical treatment” says Stasha Jordan, breastfeeding activist and executive director of the South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR). Diarrhoea is rarely fatal in adults, but it kills over 2 million children under the age of 5 each year around the world. Up to 90% of deaths in emergency situations are due to diarrhoea.1 To compound this tragedy, many of these deaths are avoidable through breastfeeding. A stark illustration of this fact is the investigation by the Centre for Disease Classification (CDC) into the deaths of more than 500 children in Botswana in 2005-06 after a major flood. The study found that nearly all the babies who died were formula fed, and that breastfeeding infants were almost entirely spared.2 Some of these deaths result directly from contaminated water, but even access to clean drinking water does not guarantee an infant’s safety. The United Nations Refugee Agency has found that “insufficient water means that containers and utensils used for mixing milk are often dirty, thus making secondary contamination highly probable. [Dried skim milk], [dried whole milk] or infant formula that are reconstituted with contaminated water are ideal media for breeding harmful bacteria.”3 Proper cleaning and sterilising of cleaning implements, surfaces and hands consumes enormous amounts of water. Feeding an infant eight times a day on formula requires 24 litres of clean water per day, and about 170 litres per week.4 Yet each time there is a humanitarian disaster, aid agencies are flooded with donations of breastmilk substitutes. This stems from a widespread misconception that, during disasters, women’s breastmilk is somehow compromised.5 “Many mothers are worried that, during times of stress or hunger, their breastmilk will not be sufficient to provide for their baby’s needs, and so they are swayed into formula feeding by well-meaning aid workers,” says Jordan, “The irony is that continuing to breastfeed is the single most healthy thing that they could do for their child,” she adds Karleen Gribble and Nina Berry, two leading academics on breastfeeding, state unambiguously that “mothers who are exclusively breastfeeding are able to continue to provide food to their infants regardless of the stress they might be experiencing and their own access to food” and that “exclusive breastfeeding could be considered an emergency preparedness activity.”4 Five of our provinces have already been declared disaster areas as a result of the drought, and millions of the country’s poorest people are struggling to access enough clean water. In that context, supporting breastfeeding mothers is more vital than ever. “It is our collective responsibility as a society to ensure that babies who are already being breastfed continue to be and that babies who are not breastfed re-start breastfeeding,” says Jordan. ”Together we can help prevent a humanitarian disaster and save the lives of thousands of infants,” she concludes. To get involved and alleviate the challenges faced by the SABR, including low breastfeeding rates in South Africa, sourcing donor mothers and funding for the operation of the milk-banks, please visit www.sabr.org.za or call 011 482 1920 or e-mail: info@sabr.org.za. References: Why infant formula causes deaths due to diarrhoea. Karleen Gribble (2007). Protecting infants in emergencies: Information for the Media, IFE Core Group UNHCR policy related to the acceptance, distribution and use of milk products in refugee settings Emergency preparedness for those who care for infants in developed country contexts, Gribble and Berry, International Breastfeeding Journal (2011) Supporting breastfeeding in emergencies: protecting women’s reproductive rights and maternal and infant health, Karleen D. Gribble, Marie McGrath, Ali MacLaine and Lida Lhotska

July 7, 2016

Winter skincare tips for your baby

One minute you’re wondering if the blistering heat will ever come to an end and the next you’re leaving home in the dark bundled in layers of warmth. It’s May and autumn has taken hold in South Africa. When it comes to your young ones, the changing seasons bring unwelcome bouts of colds and flu – which are often connected to skin ailments. Su-Marie Annandale from baby skincare brand Krayons has the following tips for common autumn and winter skin ailments: Chapped cheeks and nose can often occur from continued running, and wiping of your child’s nose. Annandale suggests taking a facecloth soaked in warm water and gently dabbing the affected area. Once the skin is warm, apply Krayons Aqueous Cream gently in upward stokes until it has been absorbed. Follow this same routine two to three times a day to help your little one avoid chapped cheeks. Heat rash sometimes happens when your babe is wrapped up too warmly. You’ll see itchy red bumps arising from the clogging of sweat glands. The best way to combat this is to dress your baby in breathable layers so that one or two layers can be removed if the weather warms-up. Watch out for overheating, especially in little babies. Take time to pamper at bath time. Use this special time with your children to really indulge their skin. In winter, use Krayons Aqueous cream before the bath and rub generously onto your child’s skin. Make sure that the water isn’t too hot and avoid harsh soap products on their skin in the winter months (when skin is especially dry). Once bath time is over, pat the skin dry and apply another layer of cream before dressing. Finish off with a quick swipe of Krayons petroleum jelly on their lips. Don’t forget to use sunscreen throughout the year. The sun can cause unnecessary damage to young skin in summer and winter. Annandale says that your child’s skincare routine in the winter months should be more proactive than reactive. “Keeping your baby or child’s skin adequately moisturised in the cold will make sure that many skin ailments are avoided.” The full range of Krayons products are available at all major retail outlets for between R7,99 for the Krayons soap bar to R32,99 for the 500ml Petroleum Jelly. Ends. Follow Krayons on Facebook : www.facebook.com/krayonsbabies

June 23, 2016

Ten things to do before baby arrives

Well, here I sit, 38, almost 39 weeks pregnant, can you believe it?! The last few weeks are a bit of a roller-coaster of emotions and general craziness: getting all our last ducks in a row before baby arrives, thinking about labour, wondering if I’m going to be a good mom and in Dan and my case, starting to pack up our home. Madness. The last thing you want is to be running around like a headless chicken when you already have so much on your mind (and to do list), so here are my top 10 things to do before your kiddo is in your arms. Finish baby’s room: Get all the painting and assembling and decorating done. It’s a lot of work and I promise you, you will not feel like doing it when you the kid inside of you feels as if it weighs about 20kg and is about to drop out any second. Dan and I aimed to have the room done by the end of my second trimester, and we did… Only to buy a new house that we will be moving into a week or so after baby is due. Yes, we are crazy, don’t be like us. Wash all the baby clothes: “They’re so tiny, how many loads could this possibly be?” I thought to myself one Sunday afternoon. Turns out, 4 loads. Yes 4 loads of baby clothes and blankets and anything else washable. And then another 4 loads after my baby shower. That’s 8 loads to shove in the washing machine, 8 loads to hang up and 8 loads to fold (incredibly neatly if you’re anything like me) and put away. I hate laundry on any normal day, and despite this clothing being so darn cute, by the third load you’re pretty much over it. So block out a week and just do one or two loads a day. Don’t forget to buy the baby washing liquid and if you use softener, use white vinegar instead. Sort out maternity and paternity leave: I don’t have experience in applying for maternity leave and the UIF process that goes along with it but it seems like a mission, especially the UIF part, so my advice would be to get the process going as soon as you can. I know there are agencies that will deal with the nitty gritty for you so definitely consider using them if you can to avoid some stress. When it comes to paternity leave, I think most company’s give 2 or 3 working days. Chat to your partner about when the best time to take those days would be: do you want to use them around the birth or only start the leave the day you return home from the hospital? Try to figure out what will work best for you both as well as baby. Of course, if the employer allows it, you can extend this leave by using annual leave as well. It made me feel so much more at ease once Dan’s paternity leave was booked, knowing that he would be around and knowing exactly when he would be going back to work. Have sex: Yes, there, I said it. Look, I’m not saying that you need to keep to your pre-pregnancy, bend like a pretzel, kitchen counter top ways; but what I am saying is that when the mood strikes, even if ever so slightly, go with it. We all know that sex releases the happy hormones but what is even more important (to me anyway) is that it makes you and your partner feel connected and close again. Besides the normal day-to-day stresses of everyday life, you are both also dealing with the stresses that pregnancy brings and this often tends to take over the relationship forcing intimacy to take a bit of a back seat. If something as simple as sex can help you reconnect, I say do it, quite literally. Yes, you probably feel like you need a forklift to move you and you definitely need to be a bit more creative now that you have a belly in the way, but it’s so worth it.* Have your baby shower: I loved my baby shower so much, I had all my favourite gals with me and it was just a divine morning of food and chatting. What I loved most about my baby shower though, is that I was still able to enjoy it and wasn’t trying to mask uncomfortable Braxton Hicks or acid reflux that seems to now be plaguing me in the last few days. I was about 34 weeks when I had mine and I think anything between 32 weeks and then is a good time. You don’t want to be exhausted and uncomfortable when you should be having a good time if you have it too late. Go shopping and get cooking: I can’t imagine cooking and preparing meals being too high on the priority list once baby is here. What I’ve done is make a few frozen meals that I can whip out after we’ve had Corn Flakes 4 nights in a row. Another good idea is to stock up on your non-perishables. Stuff like tea, coffee, toilet paper, items that won’t go off. I think that this is pretty important – I don’t think you or your partner are going to feel like zooting off to the shops, and if you have a c-section, you usually can’t drive for 6 weeks so going to the shops might not even be an option. On that note though, if you haven’t signed up for online shopping, maybe do that so that if you do need something and can’t get to the shops, you can order online. I would suggest Woolworths and Pick ‘n Pay for groceries and Dischem for goodies for baby. Pack the hospital bags: I won’t go into this too much as I have already done two blog posts and two YouTube videos on

June 20, 2016

Autism and the Senses – A Parent’s Guide

All around the world famous landmarks have been lit up with blue lights – a great way for the world to notice that autism is real, it impacts more people than we can imagine and there is still so much to learn about the condition. Ask any parent, adult, sibling or adolescent living with autism, about what aspect they find most difficult and they will mostly confirm that dealing with the sensory elements of autism is or was their biggest hurdle. At every moment in our 24-hour day, our senses are inundated with new and old sensory input, which gets filtered appropriately in order for one to function effectively. Many autistic children have great difficulty with processing sensory input from the environment, and added to that they have great difficulty communicating what they don’t like about the sensory input. Autistic children are typically sensory sensitive with either low or fluctuating thresholds, meaning that they are hugely affected, (often negatively), by sensory input from their environments. It is just too loud, too bright, too tight or too fast for them. They experience sensory overload on a constant basis and they really battle to cope with this. This video by the Interacting with Autism Project is a fantastic illustration of what somebody with autism must be experiencing when confronted with sensory overload. Their withdrawal patterns and poor social skills are not necessarily caused by sensory overload, but augmented by their sensory issues. Children on the Autism spectrum need consistency, routine and structure. Unpredictable and sensory overloaded environments (like shops and shopping malls) are very difficult for them to cope with, which typically will cause them to throw tantrums, get aggressive and/or withdraw from such environments. Sensory meltdowns occur when there is some form of discordance that happens in one or more of the sensory systems (touch, taste, sound, sight, smell, movement). Low blood sugar levels are also of relevance, as lowered blood sugar levels heighten all the senses. Remove the child from the distressing environment and take him to a safer and calmer place. Parents should be aware of meltdowns, it happens so quickly and without warning – but try not to over protect them or to shield them from stressful environments. Learn to anticipate which sensory system overloads the quickest and be prepared. Exposure to new and uncomfortable environments needs to be done in a gentle and calculated way (when the child is calm and regulated) as it helps them learn to anticipate, to adapt to and to manage these environments. A portable sensory toolkit can be taken with you whenever you are away from home and can include the following items: Sunglasses (to decrease the effect of bright light). A baseball cap or wide brimmed hat (for decreased visual stimulation). An ice cold water bottle with a sport cap for sucking water or an ice cold juice with a straw. A chewy snack, like biltong, dried fruit, chewing gum. Soundproof headphones for very loud environments. A change of clothing (long-sleeved t-shirt to avoid unwanted touch). Deep bear hugs – for a calming effect. Deep breathing – the universal calmer. One’s senses are thus a vital key to coping with autism – it is the window to their souls and interactions. Understand it, use it wisely and learn to look at people and environments form a sensory point of view.

May 30, 2016

Sleep Safety Guidelines for New Moms

I am yet to encounter a new mom whose baby sleeps flat on their back. Every time I visit a fellow new mommy friend, they’ve carefully wedged their new baba on their sides, nestled in between those little foam side wedges and sleep positioner’s. Why? Because they’re worried that if their little one is on their back, and spits up in their sleep, they’ll choke to death on their own vomit. Oh moms. Side sleeping hasn’t been recommended for the last 26 years. Back sleeping is the ONLY safe to sleep position for newborns and infants. That said, allow me to state that I am not inherently paranoid. I let Jake sleep on his tummy for many a day nap (OMG?!? Yes, I just admitted that out loud). And yes, you will find many loose toys in Jake’s cot. And a cot bumper. Nor have I ever used the Angelcare Breathing Mat. (This post should be attached with one of those “Do not try this at home” disclaimers). And now that he is older (and out of the high risk stage), he gets himself into the most obscure sleep positions; twisted and curled like a mini contortionist, face down. Accompanied by his many furry friends (Doo Doo, Doo Doo the 2nd, Kitty, Barney & Bunny). At the end of the day though, I was always fully informed and aware of the risks of SIDS. I’m providing this information for the advancement of your own knowledge. Know the facts. Use common sense and trust your own mommy instincts (because yes, that is a real thing, and yes, you possess it). Also remember that SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is rare. No need for panic. But it’s about being aware, informed and up to date. The information listed below is taken directly from official guidelines as provided by various State and Government departments around the world. I’m just sharing the information so you can make informed mommy decisions of your own. EVER HEARD OF THE BACK / SAFE TO SLEEP CAMPAIGN? It’s a public education campaign used by governments of first world countries to try and decrease the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) – the current leading cause of death among infants. The Campaign was first introduced in the early 1990’s. Countries which have implemented public health campaigns to promote the use of the back sleep position for infants have reduced their rates of sudden infant death by as much as 80%. In the USA, SIDS rates have decreased by 50% – while Australia has seen an 83% decline. BASIC SAFE SLEEP GUIDELINES: Babies sleep safest on their backs. Babies who sleep on their backs are much less likely to die of SIDS than are babies who sleep on their stomachs or sides. Every sleep time counts. Babies should sleep on their backs for all sleep times—for naps and at night. Never on tummy or side. Babies who are used to sleeping on their backs but who are then placed on their stomachs to sleep, like for a nap, are at very high risk of SIDS. Sleep surface matters. Babies who sleep on a soft surface, such as an adult bed, or under a soft covering, such as a soft blanket or quilt, are more likely to die of SIDS or suffocation. Babies must therefore never be left alone on an adult bed or put to sleep on a sofa, bean bag, waterbed or sagging mattress Keep soft objects, toys, stuffed animals, crib bumpers, and loose bedding out of your baby’s sleep areato reduce the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related causes of infant death. Do not use pillows, wedges, positioners, nests, blankets, quilts, sheepskins, or crib bumpersanywhere in your baby’s sleep area. Evidence does not support using crib bumpers to prevent injury. In fact, crib bumpers can cause serious injuries and even death. Use a firm mattress that fits snuggly in the cot with a fitted crib sheet. Avoid using loose blankets. Do not let your baby get too hot during sleep (Remember that a cold baby will wake from discomfort, a hot baby won’t). Around 18 degrees Celsius is the correct room temperature. Don’t let your baby’s head become covered. To prevent your baby wriggling down under the covers, place them in the “feet to foot” position. This means their feet are at the end (foot) of the crib, cot or Moses basket. Smoking remains the most important modifiable risk factor in reducing the risk of SIDS. Make sure that everyone who cares for your baby uses the safe sleeping recommendations to put your baby to sleep. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: Why should I place my baby on his or her back to sleep? Research shows that the back sleep position is the safest for babies. The back sleep position carries the lowest risk of SIDS. Will my baby choke if placed on his or her back to sleep? No. Healthy babies naturally swallow or cough up fluids—it’s a reflex all people have to make sure their airway is kept clear. Babies might actually clear such fluids better when on their backs because of the location of the windpipe (trachea) when in the back sleep position. Healthy infants protect their airway when placed on their backs, provided that swallowing and arousal mechanisms are normal. Cases of fatal choking are very rare except when related to a medical condition. The number of fatal choking deaths has not increased since back sleeping recommendations began. In most of the few reported cases of fatal choking, an infant was sleeping on his or her stomach. Is it okay if my baby sleeps on his or her side? Side sleeping is not recommended as a safe alternative to sleeping on the back and increases the risk of SIDS. Much (but not all) of the risk associated with the side position is related to the risk of the infant rolling onto their tummy. For this reason, babies should sleep wholly on their backs—the position associated with the lowest SIDS risk. What

May 18, 2016

The Small-Scale Approach For New Dads

Preparing for the days leading up to baby’s arrival were well planned and organized. We knew what we needed, what the process was going to be and felt quite calm at the fact that we had done our homework. Speed things up a bit and here we are, in the car, driving home from the hospital at 30kms per hour. My first challenge was getting baby into the car seat and actually fastening her in correctly. (Best advice: get to know that car seat back to front beforehand – My wife did ask me to do this…several times) On a morning that was probably around a cool 25 degrees, I found myself in a pool on my own sweat, not sure whether to have the aircon on or the windows open? In the end I couldn’t decide and drove home in what felt like a moving sauna. Leaving the hospital with our new little addition is quite an overwhelming feeling. No more nurses on hand 24 hours a day, you can pretty much say, sh@% just got super real! The feeling of closing the front door once we had arrived home safely can probably be compared to winning a challenge on The Amazing Race. We were home – Now what? Tip # 1: Check the nappy – We had fed baby, burped her and pretty much checked all the boxes but baby was still not happy, after a short while we realized we had forgotten to check her nappy. Once changed, baby passed out immediately. #Winning Tip # 2: Get a heater – I can’t express how effective a simple, fan heater is. Heat the room before bath time and baby will just lie there, enjoying the warmth, never mind the sweat dripping from my forehead, as long as baby is happy…that’s all that matters right? Tip # 3: Relax – Everything is going to be just fine. We tend to be on edge most of the time in the beginning…this feeling does go away, I think! Or maybe I’ve just become accustomed to it!? Tip # 4: Accept help– Family and friends will pop over with delicious dishes of their favourite offerings. Trust me, not having to worry about dinner makes life a lot easier. They will also offer to hang your washing, do the dishes and take out the trash. Accept with open arms – they genuinely want to help. In my pursuit to get some solid advice for new dads, I chatted to Robyn Lawrenson, Deputy Editor at Your Pregnancy Magazine. Check out Robyn’s 5 tips below: Communicate. When baby arrives, mom is going to feel like a slave to him/her. The breastfeeding, changing, soothing, swaddling, rocking, cleaning and preparation never end, and this can overwhelm even the most seasoned mothers in the first few weeks. Listen to her, ask her how she feels, and do everything you can to make her journey a little easier. Go on a date. Even if it’s just a two-hour dinner, it’s important to have time away from baby (who you’ve left with a trusted person) to focus on each other. And, try not to talk about the baby while you’re out! Find your own way to bond with baby. Make bath time, Daddy time. A great way for dads to bond with baby is by taking one job and completely making it your own. This is your special time, and your special job. Plus, it gives mom time to rest / have a shower / watch a rerun of Friends. Etc. Don’t expect her to want to even think about the prospect of sex for the first 6-8 weeks. It’s not safe or recommended, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate in other ways. Give her hugs every day, kiss her, write her notes, tell her you love her, and what a good job she’s doing. These little forms of affection go a long way in boosting her confidence and ensuring you stay close during the first few weeks. Speak to your employer about you paternity leave. In SA, according to labour law, fathers are only permitted three days of paternity leave. So, plan for this in advance so that you can accumulate some leave while your wife is still pregnant. This way, you can at least spend the first week together. There you have it, now go forth and be awesome!

April 7, 2016

Weight, Fertility and Pregnancy

Getting your body ready for baby-making isn’t only about tossing your birth control and charting your ovulation. It’s also about laying the nutritional foundation for healthy baby building. Begin your eating-well campaign even before you conceive (technically these are your first weeks of pregnancy) and you’ll be doing yourself (and your soon-to-be embryo) a favour. Begin making healthy changes 3 months to a year before you conceive. Evidence shows that healthy nutrition and fertility is linked in both men and women. The ultimate goal is a healthy pregnancy, and this depends upon good quality eggs and sperm. There is increasing evidence to show that diet and lifestyle can directly impact on your fertility health not only for conception but also for your baby’s development. When it comes to getting pregnant, the old adage “you are what you eat” rings true. What you eat affects everything from your blood to your cells to your hormones. WEIGHT AND FERTILITY If you’re trying to get pregnant, or intend to start trying, know that weight can affect your chances of conceiving and having a healthy baby. Twelve percent of all infertility cases are a result of a woman either weighing too little or too much. Women who are overweight or obese have less chance of getting pregnant overall. They are also more likely than women of healthy weight to take more than a year to get pregnant. Research has shown that being underweight or being overweight and obese can lead to fertility problems by creating hormonal disturbances. The main ingredient in the body weight and fertility mix is oestrogen (a sex hormone produced in fat cells). A woman with too little body fat can’t produce enough oestrogen and her reproductive cycle begins to shut down. Often causes irregular menstrual cycles and may cause ovulation to stop altogether. If a woman has too much body fat, the body produces too much oestrogen and may also lead to irregular menstrual cycles and ovulation. However, even obese women with normal ovulation cycles have lower pregnancy rates than normal weight women, so ovulation isn’t the only issue. Research indicated that weight also impacts on the success of donor egg cycles. There is good scientific evidence that obesity lowers the success rates of in vitro fertilisation (IVF). Studies have further shown lower pregnancy rates and higher miscarriage rates in obese women. How do I know if I am a good weight for pregnancy? One of the easiest ways to determine if you are underweight or overweight is to calculate your body mass index (BMI). A BMI between 19 and 24 is considered normal; less than 18.5 is considered underweight. A BMI between 25 and 29 is considered overweight and greater than 30 places you in the category of obese. Reporting in the journal Human Reproduction, researchers documented a 4% decrease in conception odds for every point in BMI above 30. For women whose BMI was higher than 35, there was up to a 43% overall decrease in the ability to conceive. Your BMI alone is not the only thing to watch, however. Your body fat percentage and waist circumference is also important. Bottom line: you need a certain amount of fat to conceive since body fat produce oestrogen. Waist circumference is an indication of visceral fat (excess of body fat in the abdomen). A waist circumference >88cm in a women and >102cm in a man is associated with reduced fertility, an increased risk for insulin resistance (associated with PCOS in women) and other chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure. Are there fertility problems in men with obesity? Obesity in men may be associated with changes in testosterone levels and other hormones important for reproduction. Low sperm counts and low sperm motility (movement) have been found more often in overweight and obese men than in normal-weight men. How much weight should one lose? Even a small 3-5% weight loss can reduce insulin resistance by 40-60% and improve fertility. How quickly will I lose or gain weight? Healthy weight gain or loss is regarded as 500g to 1kg per week. It is therefore gradual and one can expect that six months will be required to restore normal reproductive function and pregnancy. IMPORTANT: Avoid going on fad diets, which can deplete your body of the nutrients it needs for pregnancy and find a weight-loss plan that works for you by talking to a registered dietitian. EXCESS WEIGHT AND PREGNANCY If a woman is obese when falling pregnant, it increases the risk of pregnancy complications and health problems for the baby. Obese women are at an increased risk for developing pregnancy-induced (gestational) diabetes and high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia). The risk of pre-eclampsia doubles in overweight women and triples in obese women. Overweight women have twice the risk of gestational (pregnancy-related) diabetes and obese women eight times the risk, compared with women of healthy weight. A woman who is obese is more than twice as likely to have a miscarriage as a woman of healthy weight. Sadly, there is twice the risk that her baby will not survive. Infants born to obese women are more likely to be large for their age and therefore have a higher chance of delivering by caesarean section. Afterwards the baby may need neonatal intensive care or have a congenital abnormality. Recovery following birth is also more problematic and there is the increased risk of poor wound healing and possible infections. WHAT TO DO? Eating a healthy and balanced diet is crucial when preparing to conceive or you are already pregnant. A balanced diet is one that is rich in good quality protein, low in Glycaemic Index (GI), low in sugar, salt, caffeine and industrially created trans-fats (trans-fatty acids or partially hydrogenated oil). Make clever Protein choices – choose lean protein. Rethink refined carbs and sugar – choose low glycaemic index (GI) carbohydrates and also limit your total daily carbohydrate intake based on your specific metabolic rate. This is especially important if you

April 4, 2016

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