Baby - Parenting Hub

THE LATEST NEWS TO HELP YOU with your journey

Establishing A Good Sleep Routine

Feeling jaded and sleep deprived? You are in good company. Less than half of all babies sleep through before the toddler years and even if they do, sleep issues can raise their ugly head at any time. Sleep problems need to be addressed because not only do you feel bad, sleep deprivation is not good for your baby either. The importance of sleep Sleep is important for your little one because it is healing for his body and mind. During a long period of unbroken sleep, your baby will cycle from light sleep to deep sleep and back many times. When in the light sleep state he will dream and his amazing brain processes and lays down memories of the experiences he had during the day. This sleep state is surmised to be essential for memory and learning. Deep sleep is just as important for development because during this sleep state, your baby sorts the important information from the day from the irrelevant. The superfluous synapses are literally pruned and connections that are not commonly used are severed, freeing up energy and brain connections for more useful function. Establishing a good sleep routine One way to guide your baby into better sleep habits is to establish a sleep routine. The key to routines is that they need to be flexible and age appropriate. There are three steps to setting up a sleep routine effectively: Follow age appropriate awake times for your baby All babies have age related optimal awake times – intervals in which your little one can be happily awake. During this time he will be content and interactive, learning from his environment. If your baby is kept awake for longer than his ideal awake time, he will become needy, easily over stimulated and generally irritable. In addition to this he will not naturally fall into a sleepy state and thus will be more difficult to get to sleep. The easiest way to get your baby into a routine is to make sure you settle him to sleep as when his age appropriate ‘Awake Time’ is up (See table for age appropriate Awake times). Take note of the time your baby and then make sure to watch that he goes down according to his ‘Awake times’. Read your baby’s signals for tiredness In addition to watching the ‘Awake Time’, you should observe your baby’s individual signals. Signals that your baby is tired may include rubbing eyes, sucking hands, touching ears, looking into space, drowsy eyes or many other self-soothing strategies. When your baby shows the signs of drowsiness, he should be put down to sleep. Settle your baby with sleep cues Use soothing strategies to shift your baby into a drowsy state before putting him in the cot, such as dimming the lights or drawing the blinds; giving a feed, if this is helpful to settle him (such as before bedtime); a soothing massage for older babies and swaddling for little ones works a wonder; rocking your little one until he is drowsy. Once drowsy, put your little one in the cot so that he puts the last piece of the puzzle together for himself – self-soothing to sleep. Importance of self-soothing Newborns are unable to self-sooth effectively, which is why you may have found yourself rocking, patting and lulling your newborn to sleep. However, we do know that as your baby gets towards 4 months of age, he has the innate ability to access self-soothing strategies, such as sucking his hand, sucking a dummy, holding a ‘sleep lovey’ such as a bear or Taglet, or to simply hum to sleep. If this natural ability is allowed to develop, without too much interference, you will have a good sleeper. Where new parents frequently go wrong is by creating dependence and habits around sleep time, such as rocking a six month old to sleep or feeding a toddler at night. Try from around 4 months to give your little one the space and time to self sooth – do not let him cry or become distressed, but if he is moaning to sleep, support him to find his blanky or thumb and to access self soothing strategies independently. While getting a full night’s sleep may feel like a search for the holy grail, it is achievable, with simple strategies such as watching the awake times, your baby will settle into an age appropriate sleep routine.

June 8, 2015

Five Best Markets For Kids

Make the most of Summer – Winter is on its way! Visiting local markets is a great way to spend weekend days and they’re all the rage right now. It’s the perfect way to get the whole family out the house and the delicious food and fresh produce is a real draw card for parents. We’ve put together a list of our best family market picks in Joburg, Cape Town and Durban. Johannesburg Fourways Farmers Market Opening hours: Sunday, 10am-3pm http://www.ffmarket.co.za/ With lots of seating space and more than 61 vendor stalls this is your one-stop-Sunday-morning-market-shop. Relax on hay bales under tall pine trees enjoying delicious market food and live music – there’s even champagne by the glass. Also located on the premises is the Aroma Café (hyperlink) which boasts a buffet breakfast, a beautiful playground and a kiddies’ menu. Bryanston Organic & Natural Market Opening hours: Thursdays, Saturdays and public holidays, 9am-3pm http://www.bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za/ Organic and natural food is the cornerstone of this market that offers a great variety of foods particularly for allergies and special dietary needs. A huge appeal for families is the Kids Quarter where children can enjoy craft activities, including candle dipping, sand art and a gemstone scratch-patch. Cape Town Tokai Forest Market Opening hours: Saturday, 9am-2pm http://tokaiforestmarket.co.za/ Spend the morning browsing the beautiful Tokai market whilst enjoying the freshest artisanal coffee. The market boasts a jumping castle, jungle gym and pony rides. Coming soon are cooking demos and game afternoons. Organjezicht City Farm Opening hours: Saturday, 9AM – 2PM http://www.ozcf.co.za/market-day/ This organic foodie’s paradise has temporarily moved to the historic Leeuvenhof estate. Bring your picnic blankets, kids and dogs and enjoy a morning of delicious fresh produce. Explore the beautiful the estate and even take a dip in the premier’s pool! Durban Golden Hours Family Market Opening Hours: Sunday, 10am-3.30pm https://www.facebook.com/pages/GOLDEN-HOURS-FAMILY-MARKET/121337227882 Spend a Sunday at this kiddies’ market paradise complete with an exciting play area and activities for kids of all ages. Expect the freshest produce and traditional homemade goodies. The Litchi Orchard Opening hours: The 2nd Saturday of every month, 9AM – 2PM http://www.litchiorchard.co.za/market/ This beautiful market venue on Durban’s north coast, combines top class food and drink with loads of open space for the kids (and dogs) to enjoy. Keep a look out for the playful resident mongooses.

May 8, 2015

Rock Around The Clock Tonight: Braving Sleep Training

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.” Baz Lurhmann: Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen) When I moved to Jozi as a grad in 2003, I wound up in sales (recruitment). My boyfriend (now husband) had many years of sales experiences under his belt and gave me a piece of advice he’d picked up on a training course: “Clients/ customers only buy goods or services when they feel pain.” In the months following the departure of my first child’s night nurse, I realised that this was how I had come to view sleep training. It was something I knew I probably needed to buy into at some stage. Although I was in pain every time we had a bad night, the agony wasn’t consistent enough for me to attempt sleep training. The idea of sleep training was something I instinctively experienced as a kind of physical fear: the terrorised crying, the guilt of abandoning your helpless infant, the fear of inflicting permanent psychological damage, the self-doubt as to whether the child might be physically ill… it all just seemed too barbaric a concept for me to face. And, in a nutshell, too hard, really. It somehow felt easier to just suffer through four hours of rocking my child and begging her to sleep every three or four nights. Because in between those hellish nights, she’d mostly sleep through and I’d have a chance to recover – physically and emotionally. But when my daughter, Chiara, was 15 months old, something cracked. We just had too many three or four hour stints where I could not, for love or money, get her back to sleep in the middle of the night. (To this day, I don’t know why she sometimes woke up, but I do know that she had no idea how to put herself back to sleep because she had never been given the opportunity to learn that skill). A few hours cradling a baby in an armchair in the middle of the night might not sound like the worst thing on earth – especially if you have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom in privileged South Africa. But there is something absolutely soul destroying about the experience when you are going through it. I repeat: soul destroying. Perhaps you have to have experienced it yourself to know what I mean… I’m glad I finally reached rock bottom because I would not have had the determination to attempt sleep training otherwise. A few months earlier, I’d had lunch with a friend who was regularly spending an hour and a half putting her one year old to bed. She wasn’t pushy or evangelical at all on the topic but merely stated that sleep training had “changed their lives”. She described how, after the training, her daughter would point to her cot after only a few minutes. It seemed almost too good to be true and I wasn’t ready to put her advice into practice, but I secretly fantasized about a child who pointed at her cot. So, when I was ready (read absolutely desperate and in emotional pain), I emailed my friend and asked her for her “method” for Project Sleep Training. To date, at 15 months old, Chiara, had only ever been rocked to sleep, pushed to sleep or fallen asleep on her nanny’s back or in a moving car. My mother-in-law first mentioned “putting her down awake” when she was six months old. I’d never heard of such a crazy concept in my life and I though my mother-in-law was mad. It was only later that the information started to sink in… My friend’s method was gleaned from a range of online sources and she explained it to me in simple terms: Put baby in cot (yes, awake! Imagine?) Leave room Time three minutes on your phone If s/he is still crying after three minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time four minutes on your phone If the baby is still crying after four minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time five minutes on your phone… The next day, you start by leaving the baby for four minutes, then five, then six etc. You’ll be surprised at how fast these kids catch on… For me, sleep training was indeed life changing. It took about two or three days of applying the above method by the book before my daughter got the message. I never experienced another night of being up for two to four hours on the trot – which had previously happened about three times a week. Of course if your baby isn’t completely well, sleep training is not a good idea. Rather wait till you feel confident that your child is healthy. As for teething, it can be hellish for some babies but teething goes on for two years so it’s worth fitting in sleep training somewhere along the line. Going away did disrupt my child’s sleep somewhat, but not to the same extent as it had prior to sleep training. I did find that when we got home, it was helpful to re-start the training for a night or two. When my second child came along, I cuddled and rocked him to my heart’s content, secure in the knowledge that I could train him to self soothe as soon as he – or rather, I – was ready.

April 30, 2015

IS IT POSSIBLE TO BREASTFEED WHILE SICK?

The first thing that a nursing mom will worry about when she gets sick is the possibility of infecting her baby. This concern may lead to limiting contact with her baby and even to terminate breastfeeding out of fear of making her baby sick. In truth, it is very rare for a mom to have to stop breastfeeding due to illness. Sickness is not transmitted via breastmilk unless bacteria is present in the mother’s blood (such as septicaemia). During sickness, the mother’s body will produce antibodies (specific to that illness) which will actually protect her baby from the infection that she is carrying. Your baby will have been exposed to the illness a couple of days before you even realised that you were sick and so the best thing that you can do for your baby while sick, is to FEED. If baby does get sick, it will most likely be a much milder case than anybody else in the family has suffered. Because of the antibodies which your milk carries, limiting breastfeeding may actually increase your babies chances of getting sick. Contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding during a bout of food poisoning is completely safe unless the bacteria has crossed over to the mother’s bloodstream which would result in septicaemia and ultimately the mother being hospitalised. As long as the food poisoning is contained to your general vomiting, stomach cramps and diarrhoea, breastfeeding can continue as normal. While nursing is the best thing for your baby, it is not always the easiest task to carry out when you are not well. One may notice a slight drop in your milk supply and this could be due to a number of reasons, but it will build up again quickly once you have recovered. Rest well, keep yourself hydrated and make sure that the medications you are taking are safe for breastfeeding. Try to avoid large doses of vitamin B as well as drugs which contain pseudoephedrine (present in most oral decongestants) as well as throat lozenges containing menthol. Though safe for baby, these may decrease your milk supply. Opt for decongestant sprays rather than oral meds and use these sprays for the recommended time period only. Always take medication immediately after feeding to give your body the maximum amount of time to work through your meds. If possible, have someone help you with other daily tasks so that you can focus on feeding and recovering without the hassle of running everyday errands. Feed baby lying down to maximise rest and to minimise the chance of dropping your baby. Although many medications are completely safe while breastfeeding, you may wish to consider a few natural tips and remedies to see you through your next illness: Hot liquids relieve congestion, drink up Drink fenugreek tea to help ease head and chest congestion (fenugreek is also used to increase breastmilk) Inhale a vapour made with apple cider vinegar to help alleviate congestion Massage and hot packs placed on and around sinuses can ease pain and congestion Drinking strong black tea (using 2 teabags) can bring some comfort to a sore / scratchy throat Warm Sprite / lemonade has an anaesthetising effect on a sore throat Make your own rehydration drink using 1/2teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon bicarb, 8 teaspoons sugar, 250ml orange juice, 1l water Drink ginger tea to relieve nausea *please note, this blog is in no way intended to replace medical advice. Ask your doctor should you have any queries or concerns regarding medication that you are taking while breastfeeding.

April 7, 2015

The Mommy Blues

Mutual regulation refers to a communication system that allows a mother to read emotional signals from her baby and meet his or her needs, as well as allowing the baby to read his/her mother’s response. So what happens when this system breaks down? Post Natal Depression (PND), otherwise known as Postpartum Depression, is a condition that affects between 10% and 15% of mothers. It has many similar characteristics with depression, and if help for this form of depression is not sought, it may have an impact on the way the mother interacts with her baby, as well as the child’s future cognitive and emotional development. One of the biggest problems with PND in mothers is that they are less sensitive to the needs of their babies, as well as being less engaged with them. Things like interpreting a baby’s cry and responding to it is one of the aspects that can be affected, such as being able to tell the difference between the hungry, sleepy or nappy-change cry. Symptoms of PND (according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists)include: Depression Irritability Chronic fatigue Changes in appetite An inability to enjoy anything Loss of interest in sex Guilty thoughts Anxiety Unsociability Hopelessness Thoughts of suicide Effects of PND also include feelings of guilt, the idea that you may not love or feel close to your baby, or that he or she doesn’t love you back, and resentment towards the baby. It is important for women to understand that these symptoms are normal, and are a result of hormonal and emotional difficulties and are not an indication of good or bad parenting. There are various suggestions as to how this can be treated or even prevented. Techniques to help depressed mothers include: Listening to music Visual imagery Aerobic exercise or yoga Meditation or massage therapy Talking to a professional Advice to new mothers: Don’t take on too much too fast. Learn to ask for help. Find someone to talk to Seek antenatal advice Sources: A Child’s World and The Royal College of Psychiatrists

March 25, 2015

Crying Through The Ages

Newborn The newborn baby is typically much calmer and cries less than you would expect. Many parents are surprised that their baby does not scream at birth but rather makes quieter sounds and has a period of relative calm. Your hormones released in the birth process and the natural birth process itself results in a calm alert baby on the day he is born. Even after the initial 24 hours, the new baby is only really likely to cry when hungry, which once the milk comes in can be as often as two hourly or may be spread out to closer to four hours. It is important in the early days to feed your newborn on cue as this will not only settle him but also encourages your milk supply. The other time newborns cry is when being changed and bathed. Both changing and bathing result in feeling the cold air and new touch sensations, which can be disconcerting for the new baby. If a newborn (0-2 week old) cries a lot, it is important to have him checked by a doctor or clinic sister as this is typically a period of relative calm, which we call the honeymoon period. Most babies do not cry extensively during the early days. 2 weeks -3 Months At around the two week mark, many babies become unsettled and begin to fuss more than during the honeymoon period. This is completely normal and in fact the ‘crying curve’ is well documented. This curve shows that babies begin to cry seemingly without reason at around 2 weeks old and by 12 weeks old this crying has almost entirely abated. This unexplained early baby crying peaks at about 6 weeks of age. Traditionally called colic, we now know that in fact this crying has nothing to do with the digestive system and remedies for tummy ailments make as much difference as sugar water. (St. James) Even if your baby tucks his legs up or kicks and screams for an extended period of time, you can rest assured that almost every crying baby of this age is healthy and normal. Colic is caused by over stimulation. Being alive in our busy sensory world can be overwhelming for many babies and this coupled with too little sleep will result in crying as your baby responds to the sensory input of the world and the little bubbles in his tummy with crying. The best ways to avert colic is to swaddle your baby and settle to him to sleep after only an hour of awake time. If your little one is very unsettled, do not worry about spoiling him at this age. Under four months of age babies do not have long term memory and so will not be ‘spoilt’ by being rocked or lulled to sleep. 4-6 Months The four to six month old is much less susceptible to overstimulation and therefore is more settled. But just as you think you are getting the hang of this parenting thing, you will find your baby become a little less predictable. Instead of remaining settled for a good three to four hours between feeds, many babies of this age begin to fuss and wake more frequently at night too. This relates to their new and growing nutritional needs. At this age you can choose to respond to the increased demand for nutrition with increasing the number and frequency or quantity of milk offered or you may choose to introduce solids. The latest research indicates the introduction of solids is safe and good for babies anytime between 4 and 6 months of age. Your 4-6 month old may still become crotchety if overtired or over stimulated. Watch your baby’s awake times (Baby Sense 2010) 6-12 Months The older baby is a bundle of fun and laughs and will not spend much time crying. There are a few reasons that typically raise their heads: Illness – many babies get their first colds and illnesses at this age and an irritable baby with a fever is not much fun. Separation anxiety – as your baby develops object permanence and realizes he is separate from you, he will become increasingly irritable whenever you are out of site. A transition object or security blanket will help him to feel a little more secure. Nappy change time – all 8 month olds resist having their nappy changed and become very irritable. This is typical and is no reason to be concerned. Simply put the back position for nappy changes is way to passive and our little one will get very irate when placed on his back. Teething – typically your baby’s first tooth will emerge during this stage and you may have a day or two of irritability. Toddlers Your toddler has an opinion and mind of his own and generally this will impact on his mood. There are three main reasons for crying and tantrums A toddler may throw an almighty tantrum if he is overtired – we tend to overestimate our toddler’s ability to stay awake and be stimulated. The reality is that toddlers need at least one day sleep and an early bedtime. In addition, toddlers can only socialize for a limited period before becoming over stimulated and crying or throwing a tantrum. If your toddler feels misunderstood, you will have a tantrum on your hands. Toddlers understand more than you would believe and can process cognitively what they want to say or do. The problem is that it will be some time before your toddler can express himself adequately. When he feels like you do not understand him a tantrum may ensue. Some toddlers throw tantrums and cry simply to get their way. Again this is normal and is part of developing independence and autonomy. Finally, it is vital to realize that all babies are different. Some settled little ones cry very little and take each stage in their stride, while a sensitive baby cries for almost no reason and is

March 12, 2015

Depression And Anxiety During And After Pregnancy

Pregnancy is generally assumed to be a wonderful time in the life of a family, a time of abundance and anticipated joy. For some women however, pregnancy can be an extremely stressful time, with many women experiencing feelings of both depression and anxiety. It is well known that pregnant women need to take care of their bodies in order to foster the growth of a health baby. However, it is equally important for pregnant women to take care of their emotional well-being, as untreated depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy can have long term consequences for the whole family. This article addresses some of the important issues with regards to pregnancy and depression and anxiety, and offers some advice on how best to cope with depression and anxiety during pregnancy. Are there different forms of depression during pregnancy? Depression is a common problem amongst women, and is most common in women age 18 to 44. This is the time when many women fall pregnant and so it stands to reason that pregnancy and depression can often overlap. Depression can therefore take on several different forms during and after pregnancy. Some women will be depressed prior to falling pregnant and this will continue into their pregnancy and even after the birth of their child. Some women will only become depressed during pregnancy and this can continue once the baby is born (becoming what is classified as postnatal or postpartum depression). In fact, research has established that women who are depressed whilst they are pregnant are more likely to experience postnatal depression, making it important that women who are depressed during pregnancy seek help before their baby is born. Some women will be emotionally well during their pregnancy, but will suffer with postnatal depression after the birth of their baby. Postnatal depression does not necessarily occur immediately and can start up to eight weeks after the birth of a child. It is important to bear in mind that all forms of depression are treatable, and that there are many different forms of treatment available to pregnant women who are depressed. Depression during pregnancy can often go hand in hand with anxiety. This is not surprising, as the many changes that occur during pregnancy can be very stressful for many women. During the first trimester, many women become anxious that they will miscarry, or that something else will go wrong at this early stage of pregnancy. During the third trimester, many women can become anxious about the birth of their child, worrying about the birthing process itself as well as the enormous impact that having a baby will have on them and their relationships. Many first time mothers become anxious during pregnancy as they worry ability to take care of an infant. Research has also shown that it is common for women to become anxious before being discharged from hospital once the baby has been born. These are all normal concerns and should not be seen as abnormal or wrong. However, if these anxieties become too extreme, or they are coupled with feelings of depression, then it is important that they are addressed and treated during pregnancy, as women who are extremely anxious during pregnancy are also more likely to experience postnatal depression. Why does depression often go undiagnosed and untreated during pregnancy? During pregnancy women experience many physical changes which differ depending on the stage of pregnancy. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to feel extremely tired, especially during the first and third trimesters. It is also very normal for pregnant women to have a change in appetite, ranging for example from nausea and lack of appetite in the first trimester, to increased appetite in the second and third trimesters. In addition, many women who are pregnant experience changes in libido. These are all normal aspects of pregnancy and are certainly no cause for concern. However, these changes are also hallmarks of depression. For this reason, depression can often go undiagnosed during pregnancy as both women themselves, and doctors, do not recognise these physical changes as depression. Unfortunately, up depression in pregnant women is misdiagnosed up to 50% of the time. This does not mean that all pregnant women should become overly concerned with becoming depressed or worry that the physical changes that they experience during pregnancy could be depression. Whilst up to 70% of women will experience some feelings of depression during pregnancy, it is estimated that only between 5 and 10% of women will experience clinical depression during pregnancy. In addition, approximately 13% of women who give birth will experience some degree of postnatal depression. This means that most pregnant women will not encounter problems with depression at any stage of their pregnancy. However, it is important for the small proportion of women who become depressed during pregnancy to seek help. Importantly, pregnancy is generally a time when women have regular contact with health care providers, meaning that there are numerous opportunities to access treatment for depression and anxiety during pregnancy. How will I know if I am depressed? Two important signs of depression are feeling down, depressed or hopeless and feeling little interest or pleasure in things that were previously enjoyable. We can’t all be happy all of the time, but if these feelings persist for most of the day over a period of about two weeks, then it is likely that your doctor would need to consider the possibility that you are clinically depressed. Many pregnant women feel too ashamed or embarrassed to mention these feelings to their doctors or to their friends or family. Women often feel an enormous amount of pressure to maintain a ‘happy face’ as they believe that pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, not sadness. However, it is extremely important for depression during pregnancy to be treated as there may be long term effects of depression on the baby as well as on the relationship between the mother and the baby. Importantly, depression during pregnancy is also

February 13, 2015

Circumcision

When we found out that we were expecting a boy, my husband acted as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had an intense fear of raising a teenage girl who would PMS and end up liking and dating… boys! I have a sister and many female cousins, so there is no denying that my knowledge of boys and what to expect when you’re raising one is lacking. One of the most challenging decisions that I have had to make, as a mom of a boy, was whether to make the cut –circumcision. I am all about creating community and have found that when it comes to teething, rashes, and fevers, you will find an abundance of moms sharing their stories and experiences. But when I had to come to terms with circumcising my 10 day old son, there is all the complicated, medical information available but no real-life stories. It puzzles me that in this day and age, we still hide over a trivial word like “penis” and “vagina”. There is a list of reasons why circumcision is considered, they range from religion, cultural beliefs and hygiene. Some articles suggest that daddy and baby should look the same to avoid confusion, in the nearby inquisitive years. My husband’s argument was that he’d feel more comfortable having it done, as he wouldn’t even know where to begin when it came to cleaning an un-circumcised penis, that he worried about our son being confused in locker rooms or worse, teased. I suggested that we wait until he was older but after speaking with an adult, who was forced to have it done in his adulthood, he mentioned how painful it was and how much more complicated the procedure could become. You are probably wondering why I would be discussing circumcision with other men, but I wanted to know, is this as important as my husband was making it out to be. Turns out, it is! There are several emotions that I experienced going through this process. I was filled with anxiety that tethered to the insides of my stomach. I couldn’t quite picture handing my son over to someone, who’s intention was to take a blade to his penis. I set to Google who didn’t soften the punch when explaining the procedure. Anger settled in, when I tried discussing my concerns with my husband who wouldn’t hear the other end of it. I was so livid that he was all for handing over my baby, it just made no sense that he could be okay with this! Sadness was closely followed by acceptance when I realized that this is happening, that the following day, I would walk into a hospital where I would pass my son over to a stranger, who I would need to trust. On the day, I was greeted by very friendly nurses who took my son from me, they undressed him and put a numbing cream on him. The doctor took time in explaining what would happen in each step of the procedure. He didn’t laugh at my insecurities when I asked him how many circumcisions he had done, or would my son really be grateful in the future? After everything was explained, I signed the documentation and went for coffee, while we waited for the cream and Ponado to settle in. We went back, handed Axl over and left the room. He encouraged that we go for coffee and return in 20 minutes. We did so. I expected to return to an upset baby who would just want boob and the comfort of his mom’s arms, but instead, I returned to a sleeping baby being cradled by a nurse. The doctor explained that there would be blood in his next nappy change, and that there would be a yellow bandage that should stay on for a few days but that he’d see us in a week, and if it still hadn’t fallen off, he’d remove it. We weren’t to bath him, but needed to keep him clean. I had complete heart failure for the first nappy change. The sight of blood coming from my baby was all too much, and surely something had to be wrong!? The doctor had given me his private cell number, but I felt pretty lame calling him – as it is, I had quizzed him with a half dozen unmentionable questions, that still make my cheeks flush. On day 6, his bandage came off and even though the doctor had told me to expect it. I called my husband in panic, explaining that his penis looked “weird” and pinkish. It was expected that it would be pinkish, but I didn’t really know what to expect it to look like. Remember, I was brought up with girls! We put Vaseline on, after every nappy change, to stop the nappy from sticking, and continued for about 2 weeks after the procedure, to ensure everything was healed. I remember for our 1 week check-up, the doctor said my son has such a good looking penis. I mean, what is that even? What makes a penis good looking, doctor? Remember the emotional rollercoaster that I mentioned, earlier? Turns out that it continues. I am both humoured by my journey and how I reacted, but more so, grateful! I am glad that my husband asked for our son to be circumcised, and I am sure my son will be too. At the end of the day, it is done and will never be a concern in the future whether he is being clean about his habits, or whether he has infections that can lead to more serious issues. I wish that more moms would share their stories, to help comfort and support other moms. Circumcision is a big decision to make, especially when you’re sleep-deprived and new to motherhood, with very little knowledge on the male anatomy. It is scary that you only have 8-14 days after birth, to make that

January 12, 2015

My Issues With Maternity Leave In South Africa

I have one month left at work until I have to go on maternity leave, I say have to because apparently I do not have a choice in the matter. Let me explain – like most of the companies in the fashion industry the company I work for has a shut-down period from 19 December 2014 until about 14 January 2015 in which we all have to take our annual leave that we have built up throughout the year, my plan was to work up until the last day when we would all break up (I would be 38 weeks pregnant). To me this meant more time with my baby after birth. I was however informed that, by law, I have to go on maternity leave at 36 weeks, that’s an entire month before my due date and means that I have only three months maternity leave left after my baby is born. The maternity leave issue has been bugging me for a while now. According to the Basic Employment Act, mothers are entitled to four consecutive months of maternity leave – first off, even if your maternity leave only kicks in after the birth of your baby, four months is not nearly enough time to bond with a newborn. Secondly, I am one of the many unlucky women who will not be receiving a salary from my company during this time. Luckily our baby was planned and we have been fortunate enough to make provisions, but it is still going to be a major financial setback for us. Many women cannot afford to not receive a salary for that amount of time and are thus forced to go back to work earlier. You can claim from UIF, but the amount you receive is nothing short of a joke… at least it is better than nothing I suppose. I have asked the opinions of a couple of South Africans through various social media network platforms as well as forums – most of the feedback is pretty much on par with how I feel, but some of the comments just blew my mind. According to Economist Dawie Roodt – longer maternity leave is not an option for South Africa. “The current duration is far too much already. When the politicians start to force the employer to keep a position open for a longer period for an employee, they are essentially penalizing and taxing the employer,” – I wonder if Mr Roodt has children, or how long his wife took maternity leave (if she works at all). He then went on to make the following statement – “When UIF is being paid out for a longer period, it means someone else is paying for you to be on maternity leave.” Okay, I understand, but I am paying for someone in Pollsmoore Prison to receive a meal and a bed every night for killing/raping/murdering/stealing or whatever. I am also paying for my president to build lavish homes(Nklandla) and for his wives to go on insane designer shopping sprees. I am paying towards a government that is crumbling and that has become a source of comic relief to us. Surely, paying me UIF is a small price to pay compared to all the money we fork out that seems to disappear into thin air. A senior policy consultant at the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Pietman Roos, said if maternity leave was extended, employing women would be seen as a risk to companies. “It’s a cost factor. It would ultimately affect the chances of getting a job for all women,” he said. I’m sorry, does that not constitute as discrimination?? Why are we being punished for having babies? Many women referred to the Pick n Pay model which allows eleven months of maternity leave, nine of which are paid. The retailer gives fathers eight days’ paternity leave, even though labour legislation does not make specific allowance for leave for new fathers. If the mother and father both work at Pick n Pay, they can share the maternity leave. That is amazing – why did I not go work for them?? Makro is not far behind, offering employers nine months paid maternity leave. South Africa abides by the ILO Convention 183, which states that a woman is entitled to maternity leave of no less than 14 weeks, but the country has not taken up a recommendation to extend maternity leave to at least 18 weeks. Sweden is the most generous when it comes to parental leave – mothers and fathers can share 16 months at home with their baby. At least we are not in Tunisia, which offers the shortest maternity leave of just one month. In short: Issue #1: Four Months Is Not Enough Time Four months is not nearly enough time with your new baby, and it is definitely not enough time for your body to heal. It took about 2-years for my body to get back to normal after I had our daughter – I am not at all saying we need two years maternity leave, but you can imagine how much strain it will put on your body going back to work after just three/four months. Most moms suggested that six months would be sufficient time for them while others brought up the models of Canada and Sweden which allows parents to take up to a year maternity leave to be split between parents as they see fit. You also get those superhuman beings like Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo who went back to work only two weeks after giving birth to her first child, but I am not going to give my personal opinion on that one. I feel like after four months you are just getting used to being a mom, and then you have to leave your baby and go to work… it is quite cruel. Needless to say, this becomes more tricky if you have a premature baby or if your baby is seriously ill. Issue #2: Breast Is Best? Our country goes above and beyond to promote breastfeeding for as long as possible and mothers are shamed and looked down upon for turning

December 15, 2014

The Dummy Mummy

So is a pacifier good or bad? My answer to this is it depends. Let’s start with the good…. Dummies have the wonderful ability to help trigger the sucking reflex in children and can also (according to Dr. Harvey Karb) help them access their calming reflex. It also gives breastfeeding mothers a wonderful rest from their children who seem to constantly want to suck on their tired and worn out breasts for comfort. “Contrary to popular belief, there are some positive effects that result from sucking on pacifiers,” says Jane Soxman, DDS, author of a pacifier study and Diplomate of the American Board of Paediatric Dentistry. “One, is that they assist in reducing the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Babies who are offered a pacifier do not sleep as deeply as those who sleep without a pacifier. Pacifier sucking makes it possible for the infant to be aroused from a deep sleep that could result in the stopping of breathing. Pacifiers also increase sucking satisfaction and provide a source of comfort to infants.” (Read more about this here) Now the bad…. The problem is that dummies are so very often overused by parents. Instead of the dummy becoming a “last resort” type of tool, moms use it for EVERYTHING. Baby says ah: dummy; baby says ooh: dummy; baby doesn’t say ANYTHING: dummy. If a parent continues to offer a baby or child a dummy without first establishing why the baby is crying, it can also cause a parent to misread a hunger cue or to fail to recognise his/her child’s needs at all. The World Health Organisation (WHO) does not recommend the use of dummies in breastfeeding infants (Australian National Breastfeeding Strategy 2010-2015) as research has found a relation between dummy use and babies not being breastfed for as long as those who were not introduced to a dummy. And unfortunately, the ugly…. When it comes to sleep, we have worked with a countless cases where a dummy has become a child’s sleep crutch or prop. The problem is that when a child transitions between sleep cycles at night, he/she would want the same “environment” as when they initially fell asleep. If a baby fell asleep with his/her dummy in the mouth and it has fallen out during the night, the baby wakes up mom or dad to help find it and put it back. The result is that parents are on dummy drill, and babies do not receive restorative and consolidated sleep. The following can also occur with the overuse of the dummy: Prolonged pacifier use and thumb sucking can cause problems with the proper growth of the mouth, alignment of the teeth and changes in the shape of the roof of the mouth. There is also an association between pacifier use and acute middle ear infections (Read more here). When used past the age of 12 months, dummies have been linked to speech problems in some children who may not have enough opportunity to babble and enunciate when younger and who talk with their dummies in their mouth as they get older. Using a dummy affects the development and indentations in the palate. Please remember: safety first: If you are going to use a dummy, use it correctly: The pacifier should be used when placing the infant down for sleep and not be reinserted once the infant falls asleep. Pacifiers should not be coated in any sweet solution. Pacifiers should be cleaned often and replaced regularly. For breastfed infants, delay pacifier introduction until 1 month of age to ensure that breastfeeding is firmly established. Pacifiers should never be used to replace or delay meals and should be offered only when the caregiver is certain the child is not hungry. Pacifiers should have ventilation holes and a shield wider than the child’s mouth (at least ¼ inches in diameter). Pacifiers should be one piece and made of a durable material, and should be replaced when worn, and never tied by a string to the crib or around a child’s neck or hand (Source). Different schools of thought: The “Teach Him To Get It Himself” Crowd The problem with teaching a child to put the dummy back in his mouth is that it won’t happen until at least 9 months. So you will have interrupted sleep (as well as your child) until your child reaches this age. There are certain groups that say, that even when you do teach your child to put it back in his mouth he is STILL getting interrupted sleep because he is looking for the dummy at night. The “It Helps For Reflux” Crowd Dummies are also known to help if a child has reflux. Some babies with reflux do not have a problem with food refusal; they eat and eat and eat. These babies find nursing to be soothing because each sip of milk washes down some acid from reflux. The problem may be that they continue to nurse long past the time they need to fill their tummies. They nurse to the point that they seem to vomit every time they eat. If this description fits your baby, pacifier use may be a help. If the pacifier is given when the baby is not nursing for food (sucking slowly and less frequently, with minimal swallowing), it may be soothing to him and also provide a relief to you. The careful use of a pacifier may help your baby keep from overfilling his tummy and subsequently vomiting (Source). Sucking on a pacifier can increase saliva production, which as an alkaline that helps neutralize some of the acid that may come up. To read more about pacifier use for children with Reflux click here. The “I Don’t Want My Child To Suck His Thumb” Crowd For babies, sucking on thumbs and fingers is a natural and intuitive process. Celebrate that they have the ability to self soothe and that they will be better sleepers as a result. Some parents have reported that

December 8, 2014

Spit, snot and poo. Overcoming your fears

Let’s be honest. All babies do it and we knew for a fact that as dads we would have to deal with it sooner or later. And if you were anything like me, the mere thought of having to deal with any of these would have sent me running for the nearest hazmat suit to keep me protected. But once you actually hold the little bundle of joy in your hands, you come to the realisation that there is not a thing in this world that you would not do for your baby. And that’s when you man up and handle anything that gets thrown at you. Or leaks out. Or maybe even projectile vomited at you. So why is it that the things that some of us fear the most from babies are the things that are natural for them? Maybe if we knew a more, we would fear less. The never ending fountain of spit. This wondrous wonder comes in two different forms and from two different places. Clear saliva (drool) comes from the mouth while spit (whitish in colour and usually happens during or after feeding) comes from the tummy. Excessive drool usually is a sign of teething i.e. teeth pushing up through the gum. Drool also helps babies develop and grow. The drool they swallow helps neutralise stomach acid, lines and soothes the oesophageal lining and helps digest solid food. Spitting up (or vomit) is usually a result of GER or gastroesophageal reflux. This happens because the muscles at the bottom of oesophagus which lets food into the stomach is weak and allows food to escape back up. Whichever one it is, always have spare sets of clothing nearby, a burp cloth and about a million bibs because you are going to be changing these all the time. Is it clear or green? The snot question. If your toddler has clear stuff coming out of their nose, everything should be fine and this could point to newborn congestion (all the gunk is just working its way out), allergies, exposed to the cold or smoke. If the discharge is greenish or yellowish, your little one could have a cold or the flu. Bleeding from the nose, unpleasant smelling gunk (no idea why I said “unpleasant” because that would imply you get “pleasant” smelling gunk) and pain could mean that your baby has managed to find something small and stashed it in a secret hiding place for later. It may be tricky to stop the flow, but knowing what’s causing it may help you in treating it. Various items such as nasal aspirators, rubber bulb syringes and saline solution may ease the congestion. I even read of one mum who placed her mouth over the baby’s nose and just sucked it out! And like everything else, if you are not sure or concerned, seek professional advice. The truth about baby poop. “Where’s does it all come from? She just pooped a minute ago! She pooped again WHILE I was changing her nappy! I don’t remember him eating that!” These are questions that all parents go through. Each baby is different and therefore all bodily functions will be different. While most babies poo everyday, it is also acceptable for babies to poo every three days. Babies who are fed on formula, poo less often than breast fed babies. The first few poos after baby is born are always almost black and sticky (called the meconium and sometimes require an entire packet of wet wipes to clean). The poo than becomes greenish brown and turns to bright mustard colour afterwards. Examining your babies nappy, and trust me you eventually will with a fine tooth comb, provides a wealth of information about their state of health. Overly runny stools may indicate diarrhoea and pellet like stools may indicate constipation. Red, black and white stools require an immediate consultation with you doctor as red poo usually contains blood in it, black poo usually contains digested blood and white poo indicates a problem with bile production. My suggestions for handling poo is DO NOT take a deep breath and just deal with it. Within a few weeks you will be an expert on diaper changing and even have a routine you will follow. I was a bit OCD about diaper changes and would lay out everything beforehand (wet wipes, cotton swabs, nappies, bum cream and plastic bag for the dirty nappy) like I was preparing an operating theatre. The last thing you would want is a case of explosive diarrhoea (oh yes, that is a real thing!) and only to find it is the last wet wipe in the packet. So… spit, snot and poo. Every parent eventually gets over their fears and deals with it. The person who may have once started off armed with a gas mask and a pair of braai thongs for a diaper change now finds themselves scarily comfortable discussing the colour and consistency of their baby’s poo. Your fears are overcome and anything that leaks, is projectile vomited or has the radioactive smell of a nuclear explosion will be caught with a wet wipe, tissue and in extreme cases even your bare hands. That is the strength of unconditional love and joy.

December 2, 2014

The Benefits Of Breastmilk For A Premature Baby

All babies will benefit tremendously from breastmilk. But, for a premature baby, these benefits are so much more important. No other nourishment can compare to breastmilk and your preemie will need all the nourishment he can get. Your breastmilk is tailor made for your baby and for this specific time. What this means is that the milk that you are producing right now is special ‘preemie milk’ formulated just for your premature baby. Preterm milk contains higher concentrations of fat, energy, protein, calcium, potassium, magnesium, sodium, chloride and iron. It is very different to the milk that a mother of a full term infant would be producing, No other milk can come close to what you are making and as your baby grows and develops, so your milk will change and develop too. Even though your baby may have come a little early, your body can and will continue to nurture and nourish him every step of the way. Whats in it? Immunoglobulins: Immunoglobulins are large protein molecules produced in the lymph tissue, these function as antibodies in the immune system. During the last trimester of pregnancy, immunoglobulins cross over the placenta and are stored by your baby. These are then used to protect a newborn against infections for up to 6 months following birth. Now while your prem baby may not benefit from this in utero, you can still provide him with immunoglobulins through breastmilk. Since premature babies are more susceptible to infections and disease, this is a very important benefit. Protein: Protein is vitally important for growth and development in your baby. Babies need protein in order to maintain, repair and make new cells. There are two types of proteins present in breastmilk – Casein (20-40%) and Whey (60-80%). The remarkable balance of these proteins is what makes breastmilk so easy to digest. This means that your baby is using less energy for digestion and is therefore able to use more energy for growth. Fat:Fat is an absolute necessity for your baby. Fats aid in brain development, absorption of fat-soluble vitamins and this is of course your baby’s primary source of calories. Long chain fatty acids are crucial for brain, retina and development of the nervous system. Carbohydrates:Lactose is the primary source of carbohydrate in human milk. Many make the mistake of assuming lactose is bad for the human body, when it is actually very important – especially for your preemie. Lactose helps to minimise the amount of unhealthy bacteria in the stomach which in turn improves the absorption of minerals such as calcium and magnesium. Lactose will also promote growth of healthy bacteria in your baby’s gut. Minerals: Sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron and zinc (to mention a few) are all present in breastmilk, the amazing thing is that breastmilk also contains facilitators for each of these minerals making absorption of minerals that much more efficient. Calcium: Builds strong bones, promotes healthy nerve and muscle function, helps blood clot, and helps the body convert food into energy. Iron: Important for healthy brain, cognitive and neurological development. Iron is also a key component of haemoglobin, a protein which helps red blood cells deliver oxygen from the lungs to tissues throughout the body. Magnesium:Keeps bones strong and the heart rhythm steady, supports the immune system, and helps maintain muscle and nerve function. Potassium: Works with sodium to control the body’s water balance, which helps maintain blood pressure. Assists with muscle function and heart rhythm and, in later years, may reduce the risk of kidney stones and osteoporosis. Zinc:Needed by more than 70 enzymes that aid digestion and metabolism, and essential for growth. In summary, breast milk is hugely beneficial for your preterm baby because of its unique protein structure, its ability to promote fat absorption, and its pattern of fatty acids that promote growth and development both physically and neurologically. Unlike any other milk. Some may argue that growth is slower for babies who are fed breastmilk than those who are fed artificial milk, however, this growth rate is generally extremely close to the rate that a child would continue to grow in utero. Now, while you are focusing on giving your baby the best of the best, you may not realise that you are doing exactly the same thing for yourself. Psychologically, moms who provide breastmilk for their babies feel more connected to them, bond better with them and feel more fulfilled in their role as a mother. You may not be unable to hold or even touch your baby for the time being, but you are still able to feed him. You are still able to provide him with the best possible nutrition, you are able to manufacture food for your child that no other human on earth can replicate. In this way, you are able to bond with your baby, in this way you are able to touch him and impact his life, in this way you are able to give him everything that he needs in this very moment. You are his mom and you are doing a fantastic job!

November 5, 2014

The Curse Of The Short Nap

I honestly do not know why we always tell moms: “Sleep when your baby sleeps”. I remember when my son was little; when he eventually fell asleep, that gave me enough time to race to the toilet, and hurriedly gulp down a cup of tea! I would mission off to my bedroom to “sleep because my baby is sleeping”, but it would take me ages to fall asleep, and then, when I finally managed to drift into a sweet slumber… he would wake up. All of this turmoil in only 45 minutes, only to start the cycle again!?!?! Sound familiar? Why is the 45 minute cycle the hallmark of a newborn’s sleep? 45 minutes is the sleep cycle for a newborn. Adults typically have a longer sleep cycle, stretching for approximately 90 minutes. At the end of each sleep cycle, a baby is in a very light sleep state and may even momentarily wake up before entering into a new cycle. This light sleep is where most of the problems arise. Interestingly enough, babies spend more time in REM sleep than adults – read more about it here. But what can we do to help our children sleep for longer? In order to encourage a longer nap you need to first ask yourself a very important question: Did my baby fall asleep in the same place she ended up? Most of the time the answer to this question is “no”. She fell asleep in my arms, and then I moved her to the crib. The tricky thing about this is that people don’t usually like to wake up somewhere different from the place they fell asleep. On some level our bodies know or sense the difference, therefore we wake up with a start, and this is often why babies cry! Here are a few tips for helping your child sleep longer: Make sure your baby is in the same place when she falls asleep as she is when she wakes up. This will help prevent her startle reflex, and ease the transition from one sleep cycle to the next. Let your baby is do most of the work of getting to sleep in the first place on her own. If you always feed her to sleep, then again, you can see why she may not like it when she gets to the end of the sleep cycle and there is no bottle or breast nearby. This will also cause a baby to wake up startled and then start crying. Play around with your baby’s awake time. Every baby has a window of opportunity for successful sleep. This means it’s a time when your child is already tired enough to be put down, but not overtired. Don’t forget that it is possible to put a baby down too early, which will mean that they won’t take a proper nap. If you have taken steps to encourage your baby to sleep soothe, and she is falling asleep in her crib, then congratulations because most of the battle has already been won. The good news is that with time and practice, he will have a much easier time getting from one sleep cycle to the next, and should start to sleep longer and longer for each nap over the course of two to three weeks.

October 27, 2014

True Or False: You Cannot Breastfeed and Sleep well?

A big resounding FALSE! I recently spoke to 11 beautiful women about teaching their children how to sleep well and I was astounded by how many of them believed that they could not teach their children how to sleep well if they had chosen to breastfeed. Breastfeeding and Good Sleep are not mutually exclusive. You can be successful at both! Breastfeeding and Sleeping: A fresh perspective: You can breastfeed and teach your children good sleeping habits as well. Breastfeeding your baby to sleep ALL the time will make your baby rely on feeding to fall sleep, resulting in them waking up more frequently at night. A baby might be able to drop night feeds (healthily) from as early as between 10 and 12 weeks. Even if you breastfeed, it is advisable that you do not co-sleep with your baby as it increases your baby’s risk of SIDS. Breastfeeding in public is one of the most controversial subjects in our society: Recently Facebook has come under fire for removing photos of mothers’ breastfeeding their children, citing offensive content in violation of the Facebook Terms of Service. Facebook claimed that these photos violated their decency code by showing an exposed breast, even when the baby covered the nipple. This action was described as hypocritical, since Facebook took several days to respond to calls to deactivate a paid advertisement for a dating service that used a photo of a topless model. Dads can make or break breastfeeding: Studies show that the more supportive partners are, the longer the mother is likely to continue. Supplementing or TOP-UP feeding will not make your baby sleep better (insert gasp here!). The amount of lactose in breast milk is not affected by the mother’s diet. This means the mother cannot influence the amount of lactose in her milk by reducing or eliminating dairy foods When it comes to sleep, nutrition plays a vital role in your child’s sleep habits. It isimperative to provide adequate feeding to your baby.

October 23, 2014

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS AND RISKS OF CO-SLEEPING

Parenting is fraught with tough, controversial decisions. What makes the decisions tough is that there are such varied opinions and every ‘expert’, mum and family member seems to have a very firm opinion on how you should raise your baby. Without question, one of the most highly charged discussions revolves around co-sleeping. Should you? Should you? These are questions you will be asking yourself. The benefits of co-sleeping There is evidence that babies who co-sleep breastfeed for longer than babies who don’t. This is probably due to the fact that these babies have more free access to their mum’s breast for night feeds. Sleep researcher, James McKenna believes that babies who co-sleep have better immunity, possibly due to the benefits from breastfeeding. Of course there is above all the convenience of sleeping with your small baby. Instead of getting up to check on your little one or to feed her, you can simply roll over to check on or feed her. Some research indicates that children who share sleep spaces with their parents experience emotional benefits such as security, emotional stability and are in the long run more likely to be well-adjusted. The risks of co-sleeping In recent years, co-sleeping has become recognised as a risk factor for cot death or SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). The American Association of Paediatrics recommends that parents do not co-sleep at all. An enormous amount of recent research points towards the risks of co-sleeping. Most of this research highlights where you co-sleep and the parent’s state whilst sleeping. Falling asleep on a sofa is very risky for the baby and has been conclusively linked to cot death. Likewise a parent who has had even one glass of wine or a painkiller should not co-sleep with their baby as suffocation is much more likely when a parent sleeps deeply while co-sleeping. Even removing these confounding factors, co-sleeping in a bed with your baby under 6 months of age does increase the risk of cot death (SIDS). The question is whether the risks outweigh the benefits and this is where the discussion on co-sleeping takes place. Co-sleeping safely If you are choosing to co-sleep, you can do so safely and be confident in deciding to do so, if you take the following into consideration: Your baby must sleep on her back. Do not have a pillow near your baby. Do not cover your baby with your duvet, or use an electric blanket or hot water bottle. Place your baby on the outside of the bed next to you, not between you and your partner. Have a sleep nest that creates a space for your baby in your bed. Do not co-sleep if your baby is exposed to cigarette smoke during the day. Do not drink alcohol or take any form of pain medication before bedtime. Managing co-sleeping with your newborn and young baby Co-sleeping with your newborn may feel like the most natural way to sleep. You can feed on demand through the night and don’t have to get up to feed or check on your little one. If you are on pain medication do not co-sleep with your newborn. The risk of suffocating your baby, rolling on her or increasing her body temperature with your body heat or blankets is increased. Making changes The safest place for your newborn to sleep is in a crib next to your bed or in a co-sleeper cot. At this age, your baby will find the transition to sleep in her own space easy. Moving your baby from your bed to her own sleep space becomes increasingly difficult after 6 months of age due to habits and expectations. Co-sleeping and toddlers While toddlers should sleep in their own space, strangely enough this is the time in which co-sleeping is most common. Making changes Since habits will become firmly entrenched at this age, now is the time to make the move. It is preferable to make the move to her own room before your baby is two years old, that is while your little one is still in a cot. Once in a bed, boundaries need to be instilled which raises another whole set of issues. If you need to in-still bed space boundaries, be firm and consistent. If you find the battle is too great, you can move to a halfway space – where your toddler has a sleep space next to your bed – a mattress on the floor is fine. At the end of the day, regardless of your baby’s age, you will need to make a call that you are comfortable with regarding sleep space and co-sleeping. Like all other parenting decisions – it’s a tough one and really there is no right or wrong – there’s what you do and don’t do.

October 21, 2014

Interesting Information About Your Infant

I was recently in the United States for 10 days to attend a Sleep Sense Conference. The content was phenomenal and REALLY has rekindled my passion for providing children and parents in South Africa the gift of a Good Night’s Sleep. However, I think what struck me even more than the content was how much I missed my beautiful dirty-handed, Barney-watching, bambino of 20 months. They certainly do possess such a huge part of our hearts, and I was just overcome with the sense of responsibility that a child is in our lives and how much of who we are, is centered on them. I always tell my clients that there is NOTHING I take more seriously than the responsibility of working with your child. I thought I would share some interesting facts I learned during the conference that you might never have heard of: The first three days of a baby’s life determines breastmilk supply going forward It is vital for your new-born baby to be breastfed as much as possible in the first three days, as new studies have proven that this will ensure a constant milk production in the future. It is suggested that parents leave the pacifier or dummy in the drawer for the first few days and try to enjoy the bond with their newborn. Paediatric Chiropracting can solve ear aches, constipation and even stuttering One of the world’s leading pediatric chiropractors shared amazing testimonies of what chiropractic treatments can achieve for you and your family. Zink might be the reason for your child’s picky eating It has been proven that sufficient amounts of zinc can actually improve and change our taste buds. A leading cause for children being picky eaters is insufficient amounts of zinc. Autistic children rule households An informative session with an Autism specialist explained the importance of being aware of the signs of autism. The earlier it is detected, the more effectively it can be treated with behaviour therapy. Autism also does not need to be the reason for your child to not sleep well. Boys sometimes need more help with sleep Boys’ and girls’ brains develop completely differently and for the sake of brevity, in simple terms girl’s brains develop front-to-back, and boys’ from back-to-front. When the structure of the brain is analysed, suddenly you can understand why boys often need a little more help to be taught how to sleep well.

October 7, 2014

‘White Gold’ – Help Decrease Infant Mortality

In South Africa, one premature infant dies every 20 minutes. In the fight against this unnecessary loss of life, International Breastfeeding Week is calling on mothers to breastfeed their babies and donate breastmilk to help decreasing infant mortality and malnutrition. The South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR), currently the largest human-milk-banking partner of the South African Department of Health, warns that breastfeeding rates in South Africa are dangerously low with only 7,2% of South African women breastfeeding. These low rates result in the loss of the most vulnerable members of our society, including 20,000 babies under 1,8kg and 70,000 babies under 5kg annually. The International Baby Food Action Network (IBFAN) of Africa credits breastfeeding as the single biggest influence on decreasing infant mortality and malnutrition, especially in the least developed countries of Africa. Based on this core belief, SABR is urging mothers to breastfeed their own babies for at least the first six months of their lives, to ensure optimum growth and development. “We believe that breastfeeding, access to mothers-own-milk, donated breastmilk and education are the keys to unlocking infant survival”, says Stasha Jordan, breastfeeding activist and executive director at SABR. “We are calling on all mothers to donate breastmilk at local breastmilk-banks to ensure that the young lives that do not have access to their mothers’ breastmilk get the best chance of a healthy start to life. Not just during International Breastfeeding Week but on an ongoing basis. Whilst International Breast-feeding Week reminds us of the importance of ‘promoting, protecting and supporting breast-feeding’ we should live every day to ’empower inspire and counsel’ mothers and communities in breastfeeding and ‘baby-friendly’ care for the most vulnerable. Educating mothers living in poverty and with HIV and AIDS about safe infant feeding practices is also a key focus for the SABR, to ultimately avoid vertical transmission (from mother to baby) of HIV and AIDS. “We invite mothers with babies to visit our milk-banks across the country to learn more about home-methods for heat treatment of breastmilk and through this, promote food security in a continent where poverty and malnutrition are rampant,” says Jordan. In the previous financial year, the SABR had 889 donors and supplied breastmilk to 1295 infants, which contributed to saving an average of 5,000 premature infants from infection and mortality associated with lack of breastfeeding, since its inception in 2003. “Health care professionals and mothers are becoming increasingly sensitised to the importance of the use of breastmilk in perinatal care, which is in turn increasing the need for more breastmilk-banks across the country,” says Jordan. In realising the value this ‘white gold’ holds, the SABR, in partnership with the Free State Department of Health, has recently expanded human-milk-banking to a further four provincial hospitals, bringing the countrywide total 44 human-breastmilk-bank facilities. “Despite great success over the past ten years, the lives that need to be saved remain many, says Jordan. “We have a mammoth task ahead of us to turn around infant mortality rates in Africa, therefore we need the support from the breastfeeding community to help drive the change toward higher breastfeeding rates and ultimately lower infant mortality.” In reducing premature infant mortality rates, over-stretched hospitals also save millions of Rands annually, which advances the healthcare of the entire nation over the long run. To get involved and alleviate the challenges faced by the SABR, including low breastfeeding rates in South Africa, sourcing donor mothers when so many women are HIV positive, and funding for the operation of the milk-banks, please visit www.sabr.org.za or call 011 482 1920 or e-mail: info@sabr.org.za. About South African Breastmilk Reserve The South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR) was founded in 2003 as the first registered human-milk-bank in South Africa. The main objective of the SABR is to facilitate the establishment of human-milk-banks in as many communities as possible, with the aim of providing human milk (and the necessary equipment and funding) to babies in need, particularly babies orphaned as a result of AIDS. Today the SABR supplies in excess of 60 hospitals and is constantly working to gain favour for human milk banking in these hospitals, including: Bloemfontein Universitas, Bloemfontein Pelonomi; Boitumelo Hospital; Bongani Hospital, Dihlabeng Hospital; Edenvale (cnr); Kalafong Hospital; Kimberley Hospital; Manapo Hospital; Netcare Alberlito (cnr); Netcare Blaauwberg; Netcare Cuyler PE; Netcare Femina; Netcare Kuils River (cnr); Netcare Olivedale; Netcare Parklane; Netcare Parklands; Netcare St Augustine’s (cnr); Netcare The Bay; Newcastle Provincial H; Northdale (cnr); Pietermaritzburg H Complex; Potchefstroom Hospital; SABR Head Office; Sandton MediClinic; Tembisa Hospital; Witbank Hospital.

September 2, 2014

Why go for rice cereal when we have so many other delicious options?

Honestly, as a Mom and dietitian there is no reason to start food introductions with rice cereal. Rice cereal has been a long-time staple of the food introduction folklore, but there is no science or even practical reasoning behind it. Rice cereal has very little nutritional value. It is starchy, full of carbohydrates with little to no protein or fat and very few vitamins and minerals. Even the iron that is added to most brands is very poorly absorbed and frequently contributes to constipation. And that whole “add rice cereal to the bottle to make them sleep through the night” idea? Sorry, it’s a myth. Why go for rice cereal when we have so many other delicious options? Here are some ideas for the different age groups: 4-6 months, pureed food (the Allergy society recommends to wait until at least 4-6 months before introducing solid foods. I strongly agree. There is no downside to waiting past 4 months, as mothers milk is by far the best and most nutritious food.) Avocado (a great first food! Full of healthy fats, mild in flavour) Carrots (add a drizzle of olive oil to increase the calories) Sweet potato Hubbard squash/butternut/pumpkin (mixed with a little cinnamon – yum!) Pear Banana Apple Mango 6-9 months, pureed food, start small finger food Berries (except strawberries, which can be allergenic – wait until 12+ months to introduce those) Broccoli, kale, chard and other “brassica” family vegetables Cucumbers Yogurt Cream cheese Poultry (even though it’s expensive, organic is really the best) Ostrich or venison Lamb Pork Egg Nut butters Beans and lentils (mixed with some chicken stock – yummy!) Sunflower and pumpkin seed butter (thinned) Grains like oats, rice, quinoa, buckwheat Blackstrap molasses (you can add a little to just about everything to increase iron and calcium) 7-12 months, mashed or finger food Orange and other citrus Strawberries Grapes Tomato Barley, rye and wheat Mushrooms Honey Soy Beef (pureed beef stew in tomato stock is so delicious!) Obviously there are a lot more foods. Fruit and Veggies can be introduced daily, new one every day to increase range and variety. With the protein foods – Start with one food at a time and wait 3-4 days before introducing a new food (this is to see if there is a delayed food intolerance that may not be immediately noticeable). Once one food is well tolerated you can mix and match (or mix and mash) – e.g., chicken and pumpkin, avocado and peas. There are lots of opinions on how to introduce foods and when to add spices and herbs. Personally, I think adding flavour is a great idea while the child’s palate is still developing. Many infants start with extremely spicy curries and peppered dishes. I don’t recommend that – unless your family is already used to some heat – but definitely consider adding a dash of cinnamon, a pinch of paprika, or some ground herbs like basil, thyme or oregano. Just remember that infant portions are very small, so the spice needs to be proportionate. Making your own is so much more fun (and less expensive) than buying baby food jars.

August 27, 2014

How To Grocery Shop With A Baby

Yesterday I started a baby massage class. I was disappointed to find out that it would be me massaging my baby, and not the other way round. Surely I deserve a little bit of deep tissue love? It should be payback for never having any time for myself. Carter’s going through a growth spurt (well, that’s what the books say, as apparently ‘possessed by demons’ isn’t appropriate). This means that my days of having 3 hours in between feeds while he napped and I leisurely applied makeup, showered or pumped boobs are over – at least for the next few days. Just yesterday I ate an omelette with my hands, like a sandwich. I have the deepest amount of respect and sympathy for moms who have had niggly babies from day 1. It’s tough – you love them more than wine, but it’s near impossible to do anything if they don’t let you put them down for even a second. Short of drugging them, the only thing to do is wait for hubby to get home from work or wait for the growth spurt to be over. With this in mind, I wanted to share a few handy shortcuts to motherhood that I heave learnt in the last 5 weeks. Venturing out. When leaving the house for any reason at all, make sure you are always in gym clothes and are slightly disheveled. (Moms, I hear you laughing ‘cos how ELSE does one go out with a new born, right?). The reason for this, and no, it’s not to actually Go to gym, silly, is so should you bump into anyone you know, or even don’t know, they will automatically assume you’ve come from a 90 minute spin class, and will immediately think you Wonder Woman for exercising while looking after a baby. Extra points for smudged or no makeup and vomit on your top (people will just assume it’s protein shake). Cooking. When making anything, anything at all, make sure you make enough to feed a soup kitchen. Then freeze the leftovers and re-heat for breakfast, lunch and dinner the following week. Your husband will grow to love tofu noodles, promise. Exercise. IF you ever get the inkling to actually do anything of the aerobic nature, then having a goal is key. And by goal I mean a fancy cappuccino or blueberry muffin. I like to take brisk walks to the local Seattle down the road and reward myself with a grande latte and a cheese sandwich. You may not ever lose weight, but it’s a lot more rewarding than going to the gym. Wine. Is very important. I am not ashamed to admit that I now buy wine in boxes as its a lot easier to pour when you only have 1 hand. Just be careful you don’t drop the glass. I mean the baby, don’t drop the baby. Makeup and personal hygiene. Invest in a deodorant that promises 48 hour protection, and you’ve saved yourself a day. Sleep with waterproof makeup on, and wear the sports bra to bed that you plan on wearing the next day. That pretty much leaves brushing your teeth and tying your hair in a mom bun, and you’re good to go. Grocery shopping. I made the fatal error of going to the mall when my baby was asleep in his pram. Taking full advantage of this I thought it was a magnificent time to buy all new wine glasses, drinking glasses, soup bowls and blankets for the house. This left me walking back to my car pushing a pram, a trolley of breakables, a nappy bag a handbag and a 6 pack of milk. School girl error. If you need to do a grocery shop then leave the baby in the very capable hands of another adult and go alone. Although I can’t promise that you won’t dash out for sesame seeds and nipple cream and come back with a thousand rands worth of Woolies goodies and a new lounge suite. Oh, and before you think “but the bitch has time to blog” please note that baby is with granny and I’m writing from the comfort of the hairdressers chair, while holding a dog named Leo. As you do.

August 20, 2014

Getting Some Sleep

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. We all know this, and yet as parents we somehow expect ourselves to go for months or years without sleep and still function (and even be wonderful, calm, kind people). I’m sorry, but if specially trained soldiers crack under this particular form of torture, what makes you think you will be any different? So if your two, three, four or even seven year-old is still keeping you up at night, let’s look at some possible questions you can ask to get to the bottom of the problem. Now step one would be to make sure there are no serious health complications keeping the child awake. A quick trip to the GP can set your mind at rest and get you started on the following investigations! I always start by looking at the kids’ diets… what are they eating? Are they eating more carbohydrates than protein for instance? I would start by cutting out all sugar and refined carbs (wheat, flour, baked stuff etc) and increase fat and protein intake especially at night. It can also help to give a Magnesium supplement before bed (you can get these in a delicious syrup for kids, but please check with your healthcare advisor before adding supplements to your child’s diet). Do you have a proper routine that you stick to daily? i.e. Dinner at a certain time followed by bath, story and bed? Do you start winding down in the afternoons? A consistent routine can help a child to settle more quickly and to adapt to change more easily. How much TV are they exposed to? Television is highly stimulating. Definitely cut out TV right before bed (a bedtime story is much more calming), but you can even try cutting this out altogether and see if it makes a difference. Have they always slept less than other babies? Do they still have a daytime nap? With an older child you can try cutting this out – if they make it through the afternoon in a generally happy state, then leave the nap. If not, add it back in. My kids stopped their daytime nap at 18 months and were perfectly happy without it (and then slept well at night), so don’t always believe that a child needs a daytime nap until they are 4 or 5. What time do they go to bed? What time do they wake up? Do they then seem tired or ok? Some children need less sleep, and putting them to bed before they’re ready is a recipe for disaster! If your child is keeping you awake tossing and turning in your bed, then you need to ask… Have they always slept in your bed? Do they feel safe in their own room? Is there something they need to help them feel more comfortable/safe there? Keep in mind that as adults we generally share a room with a partner and even then we still sometimes get scared in the night and yet we expect a 5-year-old to cope on their own. Do they go to sleep in their own room and then come to you? It may help to lie down with them in their own room until they fall asleep and then do this every time they wake in the night and come to your room – I know it’s time consuming and frustrating especially if you’re sleep deprived, but worth it in the long run. Or if you’d like to keep your child in your room, but still get some sleep, consider having their cot or mattress in your room but not necessarily having them in your bed! There are so many possible factors involved when it comes to children not sleeping, that it is worth doing some investigating to find out where things have gone awry. Hopefully these questions will help you to get started. It is then also worth examining your own belief systems around what is enough sleep, when kids should sleep and where, and whether your needs are less important than theirs. Happy families are a balancing act of making sure that both the parents and children’s needs are being met, and your need for sleep is essential not only to your own well-being, but to the well-being of the entire family. Keep this in mind as you investigate. And sleep tight!

August 13, 2014

Perception vs Reality Of An Insufficient Milk Supply

There are many reasons that a mother may believe there is a problem with her breast milk. You may worry that your milk is not rich or satisfying enough. Perhaps it is causing excessive gas or even an allergic reaction in your baby. But by far, the most common concern when it comes to breastfeeding is that you simply do not have enough milk. This is universally the most typical reason for a mother to give up breast-feeding just a couple of weeks after her baby’s birth. But, studies show that a very limited number of women who terminate breast feeding for this reason actually have a low milk supply. One may suspect a low milk supply when you lose the feeling of ‘fullness’ in your breasts or when your breasts stop leaking. This usually happens at around 6 weeks post birth and is simply a sign that your breasts are adapting to meet the demands of your baby. Often, this coincides with your baby’s first growth spurt. A baby who is going through a growth spurt will want to feed more frequently leaving your breasts feeling less full than normal. This again may cause a mother to believe that she does not have enough milk for her child and she may want to supplement feeds. The key to determining whether your baby is getting enough milk or not is learning about and recognising normal newborn behaviour. Breastfeeding is going well and your baby is getting enough milk if: By day 4 your baby is producing at least six wet nappies in a 24 hour period Your baby is producing pale, diluted urine By day 4 your baby is producing three or more stools in a 24 hour period that are yellow or at least turning yellow Your baby is feeding 8 – 12 times in a 24 hour period Your breasts feel softer after a feed You are not experiencing pain during or after a feed Your baby regains his birth weight after 10 – 14 days Your baby is gaining 150g – 240g per week You can hear your baby swallowing during a feed Your baby is alert during awake times Your baby is content between feeds Genuine Low Milk Supply A genuine low milk supply does and can occur at any time in your breastfeeding journey but can usually be corrected. This is often caused by an incorrect latch, limited time at the breast, improper positioning, illness, a baby’s inability to suck properly or supplemented feedings. A mother may also notice a drop in her milk supply if she is particularly tired, stressed or simply not consuming enough calories in her daily diet. Many second or third time moms will experience a low supply at some point and this is largely due to the fact that life is much busier than it was when you had just one baby to look after. The first thing that one must look at when it comes to increasing your supply is to find the cause of insufficient production and to fix it. Many mothers may be able to increase milk production by simply altering your pattern of feeds and increasing the number of times that you feed in a 24 hour period. However, if your baby is not latching correctly or if she is unable to remove milk from your breast optimally, this will need to be corrected before you can begin to breast-feed successfully. It is a good idea to visit your local well baby clinic or to contact a breastfeeding consultant if you are at all worried that your baby is not getting enough milk. Once you have eliminated causes such as an incorrect latch or illness you can focus on upping your supply. Actions for increasing milk production: Rest as much as possible. relax during feeds as this will encourage milk flow Take a ‘baby break’ and spend 100% of your time with your baby for 48 hours. use this time to focus on increasing feeds and resting. Take special precautions to prevent sore nipples (use a pure form of lanolin, check latch, air dry nipples) Use galactagogues – foods, drinks or herbs used to increase production Use a hospital grade electric breast pump to provide additional stimulation for your breasts – pump for 10 minutes per side after each feed Improve your diet – focus on eating protein with every meal and snack of the day and try to include a breastfeeding or pregnancy specific shake in every 24 hour period Feed your baby at a time when he is alert and hungry to optimise milk removal Resume night feeds if they have been dropped Nurse for comfort if your baby is fussy Encourage your baby to feed more frequently and for longer time periods On the rare occasion even after trying all of the above, a mother may still be struggling. In this case, it may be worth asking your doctor about various drugs that one can safely take to encourage milk production.

August 6, 2014

Baby Led Weaning

Weaning is the gradual change that a baby makes from having breast milk or formula as her only food source to eventually having no breast milk or formula and this change over can take on average 18 months. When one thinks of introducing the first solids, a picture of an adult spoon-feeding a baby pureed butternut or cereal comes to mind. This approach is the most common weaning approach in the western world and rarely questioned. If one Google’s the dictionary definition of spoon-feeding you come up with: ‘to provide with so much help or information that one does not need to think for oneself. Baby led weaning on the other hand encourages a baby’s confidence and independence by following her cues. Solid feeding starts when a baby is able to move objects comfortably to her mouth, sit supported with good neck control and starts showing an interest in what the caregivers are eating. If given a chance most babies will show their parents that they are ready for something other than milk simply by grabbing a piece of food and taking it to their mouths The process of baby led weaning includes the following: Your baby sits at the family mealtime table with you and joins in when she is ready. She is encouraged to explore food as soon as she is interested, by picking it up with her hands – it doesn’t matter whether or not she manages to eat any at first. Food is offered in pieces that are the size and shape that the baby can handle easily, rather than as purees or mashed food. It is up to your baby how much she eats, and how quickly she widens the range of foods she enjoys. Your baby continues to have milk feeds and will show you when she is ready to reduce them. The first experiences of eating solid food can have an impact on the way a baby feels about mealtimes for many years, so it makes sense to make them enjoyable. Unfortunately weaning for many baby’s – and their parents – isn’t much fun. Not all babies’ mind being spoon fed in the conventional way, some though become resigned to spoon feeding as oppose to really enjoying it. Babies’, who are allowed to feed themselves, overall seem to enjoy food. Baby led weaning is most appropriate for infants over the age of 6 months as these infants are more able to co-ordinate hand to mouth movements. The benefits of baby led weaning are numerous and include but are not limited to the following ; It’s enjoyable and fun for the whole family It’s a natural way of weaning – prior to the 1900’s parents would instinctively bring babies to the table when they were able to sit supported on the parents lap. This would lead to baby being given food from the family table. Learning about foods: babies who are allowed to feed themselves learn about the look, smell, taste and texture of different foods. Learning to eat safely – being allowed to explore food before it goes into their mouth teaches babies about what is chewable and what isn’t. Learning about their world – babies never just play, they are always learning. Reaching potential – feeding themselves allows babies to practise important aspects of their development at every mealtime. Using fingers to get food to their mouths practices dexterity and pincer gripe. Chewing on food vs just swallowing strengthens facial muscles. Gaining confidence – allowing babies to do things for themselves not only enables them to learn but gives them confidence in their own abilities and judgement. Trusting food – they are more likely to trust foods as eating is always in the context of a family mealtime so your baby sees you eat the food before she decides to try it. Appetite control – they determine how much they can manage and need at one time. Less pickiness and mealtime battles – eating is enjoyable and babies eat normal family foods from the start. So are their any disadvantages to Baby Led Weaning: There are some concerns around baby led weaning and the biggest one is the fear that a baby will not take in enough food to nourish itself. This can happen if a baby is drinking too much milk for too long and doesn’t make the transition to solids. Breastfed babies who are not eating sufficient solid intake after 6 months are at risk of suffering from iron deficiency inadequate protein intake. Some moms are not comfortable with this approach as it is less structured with minimal boundaries. Family mealtimes should be the goal in all homes; however, this may not always be realistic: three meals a day 7 days a week. Baby led weaning requires a baby to consistently mimic eating and eat together with one other trusted person. Take heart, if you like the idea of baby led weaning, and the idea of spoon-feeding also appeals to you, you can do both. It is more the principles of baby led weaning that you need to embrace, how you implement them will be guided by you, your baby and your circumstances. Finger feeding and self-feeding together with Spoon-feeding. If you have successfully spoon-fed and your baby is older than 6 months you can add the concept of baby led weaning alongside spoon-feeding by introducing finger foods at meal times while you are spoon-feeding. You can introduce baby led weaning snack times using the Baby led weaning principles discussed in this articles. Here are some examples of appropriate baby led weaning/finger starter foods: Steamed florets of cauliflower or broccoli Steamed, roasted or stir fried veggies Raw sticks of cucumber Thick slices of firm avo Fruit such as pear, apple, banana, peach, mango, nectarine – either whole or in strips Take a bite out of a whole fruit before you give it to your baby to make it easier for him to get to the flesh. Dried mango strips Keep

June 16, 2014

How I breastfed My Twins

Our twins were in the NNICU when they were born because they needed to develop the sucking reflex which comes in after 36 weeks. They were a bit small and were tube fed until they gained a bit of weight. I expressed milk for them into bottles which the nurses fed to them via the tube. They soon put on weight and developed a bit so that I could breast feed them. There are a few different positions you can use but the most comfortable one for me was the “rugby hold”. One baby under each arm with a pillow under them to raise their heads a bit. The babies lie on their side facing you. I would attach one baby and then the other. I found the best place to feed them was on the bed. It gives you the space to handle them and is more comfortable for you too. Deciding which baby got which breast was easy enough as the one baby preferred the left, so I left it like that. Baby A got the left and baby B got the right. The more I tried to make one baby feed on the other side the more stressed out we all got. They say you could get lopsided breasts as one baby might feed more than the other , but that didn’t happen with us. I fed on demand and they were happy enough. I did have to eventually stop breast feeding because they were both reflux babies and they had to have formula to help with that. Finding a comfortable feeding cushion will help but there are not many twin feeding cushions in SA. Make sure you are comfortable, there is nothing worse than when you have successfully attached both babies and now you have to move because you are uncomfortable. Turn off your phone and try relax. Feeding your babies is all you need to worry about. Stress will affect your milk supply. Have a glass of water within arm’s reach in case you get thirsty. They say when you feel thirsty you are already dehydrated. Make sure you look after yourself. There are different products on the market but I used the Schlein Blackberry Elixer. It tasted good and it helps with milk too. As soon as your babies are born , and you are able , start pumping. It will help your body start producing milk and keep the supply up. Even if your babies are in NICU , you can still feed them your milk and it will go a long way to give your babies that boost. You can get great double pumps that will save you time and a lot of effort. Ask for help when you are in the hospital. If you battle to latch them at first, don’t give up. It may take a few feeds before you all know what you are doing. Both you and the babies are learning what suits you best. The nurses in the hospital should be able to give you contact details for a lactation specialist near you. My number one tip and something I try to always do is LISTEN TO YOUR GUT!! No one will know your babies as well as you do. Being a mother of multiples is not easy. Don’t sweat the small stuff and do what suits you. It doesn’t matter what your friend, auntie, neighbour says . Take the info you want and ditch the rest. If you need any advice or support SAMBA- The South African Multiple Birth Association is a great place to get much needed advice, support and to meet other families with multiples. SAMBA does a fantastic expectant parent seminar, you can check on the next date on their website. Well done and enjoy this amazing journey with your multiples.

May 12, 2014

CAN YOUR WHITE NOISE MACHINE DAMAGE YOUR BABY’S HEARING?

A study in Paediatrics suggests that some noise machines can produce sounds so loud that they could potentially damage infants’ hearing and auditory development. If SIDS isn’t scary enough! Now we are potentially damaging our children by playing them white noise? As with all things baby, we thoroughly believe that white noise should be approached with a balanced view. The study states that loud noise (85dB)…like putting a hair drier or blasting music 12″ from a baby’s head for 8 hours straight…is potentially damaging to a baby’s hearing. Unfortunately, this article is being used to scare parents and ignores the key benefits of using white noise. When you work on changing your baby’s sleep habits, start where you want to end. In affect this means don’t automatically include white noise in your sleep regime if you don’t have any reason to other than “everybody’s doing it”. Tired parents always need to be reminded of the safe way to do things. Swaddling is great, but you don’t want to overheat a baby or restrict the hips or do it past 8 weeks…car seats are great, but they can actually cause infant deaths if not properly installed. And similar caveats are true for white noise. Surprisingly, babies cry usually reach levels up to 100 dB (as loud as a power lawnmower…and 10 times louder than a hair drier ). Loud sounds, like vacuum cleaner and hair drier sounds, have been recommended by paediatricians and parenting books for decades to calm fussy babies. But, it is very important to remind parents to only use very loud noise during infant crying. However, the new study just released by the journal Paediatrics omitted 3 critical points as Doctor Karb points out: In the womb, all babies are exposed to the sound of whooshing through the arteries…that is louder than a vacuum cleaner (measured at 75-92dB)…24/7. Moderate sound – used all night – is perfectly safe and has been shown to be helpful in boosting sleep, which is why so many families use white noise CDs and downloads. Noise injury is primarily related to the high pitch of sound. A pitch, which with most infant white noise machines are not reached. When considering recommending white noise for babies, it is extremely important to consider the potential life saving benefits of proper sleep, which in return means the benefits of using white noise machines correctly. Poor infant sleep causes parent exhaustion..and that leads to many very dangerous situations…including postpartum depression, maternal obesity, child abuse and sleep deaths because the exhausted parents put the baby on the stomach or bring the baby into their bed…which causes ~1000 accidental suffocation deaths/year. By enhancing sleep (and reducing crying) low pitched, rumbly white noise may help prevent these very serious problems. So once again we have to weigh our two options up against each other. So when a baby cries, increase sound level – for a few minutes – to the level of a vacuum cleaner. And, for safe naps and all night sleeping keep the sound about the level of a soft shower IF your baby needs it. (I encourage you to place the sound within a few feet of the baby’s sleep area…and to listen to the sound themselves…to judge whether it is too loud.) I want to reiterate again that white noise should only be used in the case where it is needed. You don’t have to start off with a white noise machine just because your friend uses one with her baby. White noise in itself will never teach your baby to sleep! Article Credit: Doctor Karb from the happiest Happy, Education Association

May 3, 2014

A Guide to introducing solids to your baby

Introducing your baby to solids can be challenging. Find out how to help your child make a smooth transition to solid foods. There is nothing cuter than seeing a picture of a happy baby in a high chair with food smeared on their face and everywhere else. Starting your baby on solids can be fun and messy. For some parents, it can also be confusing. When should you start? How much should you offer? What comes first? Signs your baby might be ready Your baby can sit upright when supported with good control of the head and neck. Your baby’s birth weight has doubled. Your baby shows an interest in food eaten by others. More frequent feeding (breast or bottle.) Your baby still seems hungry after the usual milk feed. Your baby was sleeping through the night but has started to wake again for a feed. These signs are all typically between the ages of 4 to 6 months when most babies are developmentally ready to get their first taste of solid foods. Recommended first foods There are no fixed rules about what solid foods you should give your baby first. A single-grain, iron-fortified infant cereal such as rice cereal is good. It may also be easier to notice any food allergies than with a cereal made from several grains. Apple, pear, banana, paw- paw, avocado, pumpkin, carrot, potato, butternut and sweet potato are the most popular first foods for babies due to their naturally sweet flavour and smooth texture once pureed. There is no need to add salt or sugar or any other flavourings to your baby’s food however bland it may seem. Salt may harm your baby’s kidneys and sugar may encourage a sweet tooth. A baby is not used to these tastes so will not miss them. Preparing your own baby food It is cheaper to make your own baby food and at least you know what is inside the food. Always wash your hands before handling food or feeding your baby. All feeding equipment should be sterilised for a baby less than 6 months of age. Fruits and vegetables can be peeled, steamed and then pureed. Large quantities can be prepared at a time and then frozen in small portions for later. Eating solids takes practice Being fed by a spoon is new to your baby. Up until now, they’ve only had a liquid diet, and they’ll need practice to get used to the spoon and to the feel of having solid food in their mouth. They will probably only start by eating a teaspoon or two at a time so don’t expect them to eat a whole bowl. Try one new food at a time and introduce a new food every 2 -4 days adding onto their existing diet. Instead of trying to get them to eat a certain amount, focus on letting them get used to the experience. Try finger foods when baby’s ready Around 9 months or so, your baby will be able to pick up small pieces of soft food to eat. You’ll still need to spoon-feed for a while, and continue formula or breast milk. Some great “finger foods” include ripe banana pieces, cooked chunks of carrots, cottage cheese, well-cooked pasta, dry cereal, and scrambled eggs. Foods to avoid The following foods are best avoided until your child is older – some because they are physically difficult for a baby to eat and could cause a choking hazard and others because early exposure has been found to potentially cause allergies and intolerances: Small hard foods which could pose a choking hazard – nuts, uncooked hard vegetables & fruits (e.g., carrots, apples) Cow’s milk as the main milk drink until 1 year old Honey until 1 year old Egg white until 1 year old Nuts, or even crunchy peanut butter, until 5 years old Popcorn & corn chips – choking hazard Sausages with skins on – choking hazard Stop When Baby’s Ready to Stop Pay attention and your baby will let you know when they have had enough food. They might try and play with the spoon, turn their head away, close their mouth tightly, spit out whatever you put in their mouth, or cry. Don’t make them eat more than they want. Kids will eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full. Honouring those instincts may help them avoid overeating now and when they get older. Good luck in feeding your child and remember to keep your sense of humour, be calm and relax. If you do, they will. To get in touch with Sharon Atkins please do so below: Website Facebook Twitter Pinterest Blog

October 15, 2013

Should Children Sleep with Stuffed Toys?

When supplying a favourite stuffed toy is the one, surefire way to get a fussy child to come down for a nap or a good night’s sleep, it almost seems like a no-brainer to hand it over as part of the bedtime routine. Still, it can be confusing to figure out whether or not encouraging your little one to rely on an object for comfort is a good idea. Before the age of one year, the American Academy of Paediatrics warns against introducing plush toys to your baby’s crib due to a potential increase in SIDS risk, but what about after she reaches that all-important one-year benchmark? Understanding the Prevalence of Comfort Objects A study conducted by researchers from both the University of Bristol in the United Kingdom and Yale University in the United States indicated that up to 70% of kids develop strong attachments to the comfort objects they rely upon to self-soothe. These transitional objects help babies learn to separate from their mothers with minimal trauma, and serve as important aspects of development for most kids. Special stuffed toys or blanks develop a very important role in kids’ lives, who tend to anthropomorphise their beloved stuffed animals in such a way that not even an exact replica of the toy is acceptable. Are Comfort Objects Inherently Negative? While some parents fixate on the idea of breaking their child from a dependency that they see as a weakness, there’s no real evidence that sleeping with a comfort object is emotionally damaging. Aside from the slight risk of allergen triggers from dusty or dirty plush toys, there’s very little risk at all when a child is old enough and has the requisite motor skills to move the object away from their face if breathing becomes difficult. A study at the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee, originally intended to determine whether or not kids who have secure bonds with their mothers were more or less likely to rely upon comfort objects for sleep, found that there was no correlation at all between the strength of the parental bond or the lack thereof and use of a comfort object. The study also uncovered evidence that kids who were strongly attached to those objects seemed to more easily adjust to stressful situations when they had that object in their possession. Making the Right Decision for Your Family If your child is so attached to a comfort object that she refuses to go anywhere without it, problems can arise at the onset of the school year when school policies forbid such objects. Provided that a child is able to rely upon the object only in times of extreme duress or to self-soothe in order to sleep, there’s no real reason to forbid your child from bringing a favourite lovey to bed each night. Ultimately, the decision should depend upon the needs and lifestyle of your family and your own parenting style. If you feel that your child’s use of a comfort object has gone on for too long or that he’s getting too old to rely on such tactics, taking steps to gradually wean him away from a special stuffed animal may be in order. You should, however, expect for your child to regress in moments of extreme duress or dramatic transition. If he’s dealing with the loss of a loved one, a sudden and abrupt change in his life or another source of extreme anxiety, he may rediscover a need for the beloved animal that provided him with comfort before he was able to let go of that dependence. Many thanks to: Live out Nanny

October 7, 2013

Breast Milk vs Formula – What are the differences?

Undoubtedly we all want what is best for our newborn baby’s, so what are the benefits surrounding breast-milk and commercial formula? Even the most prepared mother who has opted to breastfeed can land up by not being able too. Therefore if you are pregnant and considering your options then this certainly will be a read for you. First we will look at breast milk – we all know that breast is best, so taking a look at why this is so is also important. Breast milk is amazing simply because it can change in composition depending on your baby’s needs. Breast milk is a fully comprehensive meal in liquid form and is made up of many components: Fat – If you were to remove all the water from breast milk, half of what is left behind is fat including a high level of cholesterol. These fats and cholesterol are vital because unlike adults, babies, toddlers and young children need high levels of fats for the development of the nervous system. These essential fats are needed to cover & protect nerve cells and are a crucial component of brain development. Carbohydrates – About 37% of breast milk is made up of carbohydrates. While we often think of carbohydrates as bread, pasta and rice, in actual fact all sugars are carbohydrates. In breast milk, most of the carbohydrates are in the form of lactose, which is a milk sugar. Lactose provides your baby with energy so that she can do the things that babies do: breathe, eat, cry, wriggle, pass stools, learn, grow, and develop. Proteins – Breast milk contains protein, which is essential for your baby’s growth. Colostrum is particularly high in protein, to stabilise your newborn’s blood sugar whereas mature milk has a slightly lower but consistent level of protein (1g per 100ml). As your baby grows her protein needs increase, so by six months of age, your baby will need to have protein from sources other than milk, in other words from solid foods. Vitamins, Minerals, and More – Breast milk contains vitamins and minerals, which formula’s attempt to simulate. However, the nutritional composition of breast milk includes over 100 different components the effect and importance of which will be established in years to come. Mature milk has many different kinds of proteins but the two major proteins are whey and casein. Whey is a smooth, liquidly-type of protein whereas casein is a coarse protein that tends to curdle. In breast milk, 60% to 80% of the proteins are of the whey type. Whey is easier to digest and it is absorbed well in your baby’s stomach, which is why breastfed babies will be hungry more often. Reasons to breastfeed Breast milk is the gold standard against which all formulas are measured for good reason: Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for young babies. Your breast milk has just the right amount of fat, energy, water, and protein that is needed for a baby’s growth and development. For most babies breast milk is easier to digest than other alternatives. Breast milk is the only milk that contains antibodies, which help to build your baby’s immune system. Breastfed babies are able to fight off infections and disease easier and are sick less often. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first 4 months of life has been found to lower the risk of childhood obesity as well as Type 2 diabetes. Exclusive breastfeeding for the first 4 months of life may also protect your child against allergies, especially allergic skin conditions like eczema. Breastfeeding also has many benefits for you. Breastfeeding uses up some fat stores and helps you get back into your jeans. It also helps your uterus to return to its original size a lot sooner and lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers. On a more practical level breastfeeding is convenient, it saves time and money. It is always available, at the right temperature and in a sterile ‘container’. What is important to remember is that even if you are able to breastfeed for only a short period of time, your baby will experience numerous benefits from breast milk. What about bottle-feeding? Taking the decision to bottle-feed will be the right choice for you and your baby if thought through carefully and upon advice of a medical professional. When it comes to parenting you are the only expert on your baby and although you must heed advice, ultimately a choice that makes you feel most comfortable and relaxed is the right choice for you and your baby. Feeding your baby expressed breast milk in a bottle will have the same benefits as breastfeeding and modern infant formula preparations are an excellent source of nutrition for your baby. For mothers who are unable to breastfeed or who decide not to, infant formula is a good alternative. If you feed your baby with a commercially prepared formula, be assured that your baby’s nutritional needs will be met. Things to consider when choosing your baby’s formula: While breastfeeding is the best nutrition for babies, commercially prepared infant formulas are a nutritious alternative to breast milk. Manufactured under sterile conditions, commercial formulas attempt to duplicate mother’s milk using a complex combination of proteins, sugars, fats, and vitamins that would be virtually impossible to create at home. So, if you don’t breastfeed your baby, it’s important that you use only a commercially prepared formula. If your baby is very irritable, has excessive gas, diarrhoea (which may be bloody), spitting up, vomiting, and poor weight gain she may be intolerant to the formula she is on. Choosing another type of baby formula, in consultation with a dietician, nursing sister or paediatrician may help alleviate the symptoms. Simply changing brands, unless you also change formula types, does not usually make a difference. You should not self diagnose your baby’s problems and decide to simply switch formula. You are more likely to create problems by uninformed formula switching. If you have a problem you think

September 27, 2013

Decorating your baby’s nursery

One of the enjoyable tasks involved with having a baby is planning and preparing a warm and welcoming space in your home for your new addition. However, when you add the concerns associated with pregnancy to the challenges of redecorating a room, it can be difficult to know just when to begin preparing that special room. You should consider several factors when determining when to begin decorating your baby’s nursery. The most important is time, for anything you do while you are pregnant. You need to be able to finish the decorating before your baby is born, which could be anywhere from a few weeks before your due date to a few days afterward. To be safe, plan to finish your decorating project before week 36 of your pregnancy. Although you may be bursting with ideas for the baby’s room, it is best to avoid purchasing items during the first trimester. Many mothers feel comfortable purchasing items and picking out paint colours once they are over this critical hump. The first trimester is a great time to look over your budget and determine what your spending allocation will be for the nursery, and to create a checklist of basic items you will need to purchase. Once you are past the first trimester, all those big plans in your head can begin to be realized. Many parents begin by choosing a theme for the nursery. Bedding can be a source of inspiration for paint colour and furniture type. So when can you begin? Determining when to begin decorating your baby’s nursery depends on your chosen theme. If you have chosen a gender-specific nursery theme, you have to wait to begin decorating until after your medical team can determine your baby’s sex through an ultrasound. This can usually be done between 20 and 28 weeks of pregnancy. Needless to say, this narrows down the window of time you can spend decorating the nursery considerably if you want it to be finished before the baby arrives. One way to avoid having to rush through decorating is to choose a neutral colour for the walls and floor of your baby’s room. Then, when you know whether your baby will be a boy or girl, you can add gender-specific items, such as wall hangings, bedding or throw rugs, to the room to make it special. For those with tight budgets, begin purchasing nursery items as soon as you can. Consider that some of the items found in the nursery include a cot, bedding, a chest of drawers, a changing area and a feeding chair. Plan on having your completed nursery done about six weeks before your due date. Have the nursery entirely set up at least a month before your due date, just in case baby decides to make an early entry into the world. The first item to purchase should be paint. It is best to get the painting done while the nursery is empty. Once you start to fill the room with furniture, painting becomes more complicated and can involve moving large items around. Another important consideration is the safety of mom and baby. The mother-to-be should not be moving furniture or painting in enclosed areas. Be sure that your plans include a helper. Painting on ladders and moving furniture should be avoided. If you and your significant other or helper have busy schedules, be sure to set aside days to do these activities together. Shopping for one baby is stressful enough, but if you are expecting twins, it is even more difficult. Most parents may feel the urge to simply buy two of everything. This is not always the case. There are some simple rules to keep in mind when shopping for your newborn twins.Decide which items the twins can share Start with the most important furniture items- 2 x cots (although in the first few months, the babies will share a cot, they grow very quickly, and once able to roll, can begin to disturb each other, and when you realise this, and it becomes problematic, you no longer have a waiting time available to allow for manufacture), 1 x compactum- it is NOT necessary to purchase 2 x compactums, as you cannot stand at 2 units at the same time. A good quality, comfortable feeding chair, and shelving should be considered. The Chad cots (available at dream furniture) are ideal, as there are no gaps, and if the middle rails are lowered, the babies can then climb in and out of each other’s cots when it is “awake time”, however, they can also be separated from each other when it is “sleep time”. Designing your baby’s nursery needn’t be a stressful time, with the correct knowledge and planning, turning your baby’s nursery from drab to fab can be as easy as 1 2 3!

September 26, 2013

When it is the right time to wean your baby off the bottle?

When is it the right time to wean your little one off of the bottle? Paediatricians are now recommending that the phasing out of bottles should start within the child’s second year. As much as I feel that it is not appropriate to set strict deadlines on any important aspects in your child’s life there certainly are some benefits to weaning them off. Research shows that prolonged use of bottles can cause tooth decay, it could lead to your child being too reliant on his or her feed rather than making use of the meal that has been provided to them to sustain their hunger and provide the necessary nutrition they need as a growing toddler. Excessive milk consumption can lead to excessive weight gain or an imbalance in nutrition because the milk being used as a substitute for food. So helping your child get to the point where they are ready to say goodbye to that bottle, is important. But how? Many parents don’t think to offer a cup until the child has reached the end of the their first year. One is able introduce a cup, with or without a lid from between 6-9 months of age, but it important to see the signs of readiness. If your child has strong motor skills and is already holding the bottle on their own, he is more likely to take to a cup right away, but if those skills are not apparent there is still no reason not to start. Which ever approach you take depends on your child’s attachment to the bottle and whether or not you feel that they are ready to take this next phase. A good way to start would be to assist your child by holding the cup for them and allowing them to take small sips at a time. If your child is one that is reluctantly willing to give up the bottle, take it slow. Start by introducing a supplemental source of liquid for several days. Offer this to your child and allow them to play with the empty cup afterwards. By familiarising the child with the new item this could win them over! Replace the bottle for a sippy cup once a day for a week and slowly build up to replace all day time beverages with the sippy cup. There are great one’s on the market at the moment, so shop around until you find one that you feel will best suite your child. Don’t go with the current market trends but rather what is best for your child’s particular needs. Removing the bottles from view so that you child wont ask for them is also a great idea. There is nothing worse than seeing something and not being able to have it. If you have older children, get them involved as well. Young tots love to imitate their siblings so make it a family affair. Nighttime (when you get to that phase) can prove to be the greatest challenge. The key as with all things parenting is consistency. Once you make that decision to remove the night feeds and replace them with a small cup of water before bed, there should be no going back. Create new routines during this transition for bedtime, creating a little soft fun like a bedtime story or extra cuddles reaffirms the child that there is still a warm comforting environment without the bottle and makes the transition easier for your child. Giving up the bottle needn’t be a stressful time for mom or tot, but rather a time of excitement as you and your family celebrate this new chapter.

September 21, 2013

Teaching children the importance of recycling and caring for their environment

From a tender age, we’re filling our children’s absorbent minds with need–to-know information. As parents, our goal is for perfect manners to become second nature, and for important habits to be instilled as early as possible – like brushing teeth, packing away toys and putting on seatbelts. The future of recycling lies in the hands of our youth, and these are also the individuals who will carry the burden of higher carbon footprints if it is not reduced. As parents, we have the opportunity to help develop a generation of eco-warriors. We teach our children to say please and thank you, we tell them not to talk to strangers, not to litter, and so many other small yet essential life skills that we don’t even consciously think about. Why then should lessons in environmental protection and recycling be any different? The Glass Recycling Company (TGRC), South Africa’s national organisation responsible for facilitating the recovery of waste glass for recycling, is working hard at encouraging citizens to increase glass recycling quantities. It’s up to us to empower our children by educating them as to the positive effect that recycling will have on our environment, and how they can make a difference. Recycling is easy; you don’t have to start big to make an impact. Tips from TGRC to educate your family (and yourself) include: Find your nearest glass bank. Visit The Glass Recycling Company website www.tgrc.co.za call 0861 2 GLASS (45277), or sms ‘GLASS’ to 45686 (SMS charged at R1.50) Whenever you purchase something packaged, think about how you can reuse or recycle the packaging. Glass is 100% recyclable and can be recycled again and again without losing its purity or strength Plan your trips to bottle banks to fit into your daily schedule – it will become part of your routine rather than a chore! Take your kids with you and show them how and where to put their bottles Get your child’s school to register for The Glass Recycling Company school competition. Not only will this mean a conveniently placed glass bank at the school, but also a chance for schools to win fantastic cash prizes. For more details, visit www.tgrc.co.za Explain to your children what is recyclable and what is not. Glass containers, such as those used for food and beverages can be recycled Other types of glass, like window glass, ovenware, pyrex, crystal and light bulbs are manufactured through a different process and cannot be recycled through South Africa’s glass manufacturers Reuse old containers – they are great for storing paint, crayons, buttons and arts and crafts tools such as paint brushes, rulers and much more In South Africa, it’s not necessary to wash glass before placing it into “Glass Banks”, or to place different coloured glass into separate banks. Recycling is just so easy By making recycling a way of life as habitual as the other lessons we teach our kids, before we know it, we will have a generation of recyclers working together to build a sustainable environment.

March 18, 2013

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