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Parenting Hub

Autism and the Senses – A Parent’s Guide

All around the world famous landmarks have been lit up with blue lights – a great way for the world to notice that autism is real, it impacts more people than we can imagine and there is still so much to learn about the condition. Ask any parent, adult, sibling or adolescent living with autism, about what aspect they find most difficult and they will mostly confirm that dealing with the sensory elements of autism is or was their biggest hurdle. At every moment in our 24-hour day, our senses are inundated with new and old sensory input, which gets filtered appropriately in order for one to function effectively. Many autistic children have great difficulty with processing sensory input from the environment, and added to that they have great difficulty communicating what they don’t like about the sensory input. Autistic children are typically sensory sensitive with either low or fluctuating thresholds, meaning that they are hugely affected, (often negatively), by sensory input from their environments. It is just too loud, too bright, too tight or too fast for them. They experience sensory overload on a constant basis and they really battle to cope with this. This video  by the Interacting with Autism Project is a fantastic illustration of what somebody with autism must be experiencing when confronted with sensory overload. Their withdrawal patterns and poor social skills are not necessarily caused by sensory overload, but augmented by their sensory issues. Children on the Autism spectrum need consistency, routine and structure. Unpredictable and sensory overloaded environments (like shops and shopping malls) are very difficult for them to cope with, which typically will cause them to throw tantrums, get aggressive and/or withdraw from such environments. Sensory meltdowns occur when there is some form of discordance that happens in one or more of the sensory systems (touch, taste, sound, sight, smell, movement). Low blood sugar levels are also of relevance, as lowered blood sugar levels heighten all the senses. Remove the child from the distressing environment and take him to a safer and calmer place. Parents should be aware of meltdowns, it happens so quickly and without warning – but try not to over protect them or to shield them from stressful environments. Learn to anticipate which sensory system overloads the quickest and be prepared. Exposure to new and uncomfortable environments needs to be done in a gentle and calculated way (when the child is calm and regulated) as it helps them learn to anticipate, to adapt to and to manage these environments. A portable sensory toolkit can be taken with you whenever you are away from home and can include the following items: Sunglasses (to decrease the effect of bright light). A baseball cap or wide brimmed hat (for decreased visual stimulation). An ice cold water bottle with a sport cap for sucking water or an ice cold juice with a straw. A chewy snack, like biltong, dried fruit, chewing gum. Soundproof headphones for very loud environments. A change of clothing (long-sleeved t-shirt to avoid unwanted touch). Deep bear hugs – for a calming effect. Deep breathing – the universal calmer. One’s senses are thus a vital key to coping with autism – it is the window to their souls and interactions. Understand it, use it wisely and learn to look at people and environments form a sensory point of view.

Baby Jakes Mom

Sleep Safety Guidelines for New Moms 

I am yet to encounter a new mom whose baby sleeps flat on their back. Every time I visit a fellow new mommy friend, they’ve carefully wedged their new baba on their sides, nestled in between those little foam side wedges and sleep positioner’s. Why? Because they’re worried that if their little one is on their back, and spits up in their sleep, they’ll choke to death on their own vomit. Oh moms. Side sleeping hasn’t been recommended for the last 26 years. Back sleeping is the ONLY safe to sleep position for newborns and infants.  That said, allow me to state that I am not inherently paranoid. I let Jake sleep on his tummy for many a day nap (OMG?!? Yes, I just admitted that out loud). And yes, you will find many loose toys in Jake’s cot. And a cot bumper. Nor have I ever used the Angelcare Breathing Mat. (This post should be attached with one of those “Do not try this at home” disclaimers). And now that he is older (and out of the high risk stage), he gets himself into the most obscure sleep positions; twisted and curled like a mini contortionist, face down. Accompanied by his many furry friends (Doo Doo, Doo Doo the 2nd, Kitty, Barney & Bunny). At the end of the day though, I was always fully informed and aware of the risks of SIDS. I’m providing this information for the advancement of your own knowledge. Know the facts. Use common sense and trust your own mommy instincts (because yes, that is a real thing, and yes, you possess it). Also remember that SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is rare. No need for panic. But it’s about being aware, informed and up to date. The information listed below is taken directly from official guidelines as provided by various State and Government departments around the world. I’m just sharing the information so you can make informed mommy decisions of your own. EVER HEARD OF THE BACK / SAFE TO SLEEP CAMPAIGN? It’s a public education campaign used by governments of first world countries to try and decrease the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) – the current leading cause of death among infants.  The Campaign was first introduced in the early 1990’s. Countries which have implemented public health campaigns to promote the use of the back sleep position for infants have reduced their rates of sudden infant death by as much as 80%. In the USA, SIDS rates have decreased by 50% – while Australia has seen an 83% decline. BASIC SAFE SLEEP GUIDELINES: Babies sleep safest on their backs. Babies who sleep on their backs are much less likely to die of SIDS than are babies who sleep on their stomachs or sides. Every sleep time counts. Babies should sleep on their backs for all sleep times—for naps and at night. Never on tummy or side. Babies who are used to sleeping on their backs but who are then placed on their stomachs to sleep, like for a nap, are at very high risk of SIDS. Sleep surface matters. Babies who sleep on a soft surface, such as an adult bed, or under a soft covering, such as a soft blanket or quilt, are more likely to die of SIDS or suffocation. Babies must therefore never be left alone on an adult bed or put to sleep on a sofa, bean bag, waterbed or sagging mattress Keep soft objects, toys, stuffed animals, crib bumpers, and loose bedding out of your baby’s sleep areato reduce the risk of SIDS and other sleep-related causes of infant death. Do not use pillows, wedges, positioners, nests, blankets, quilts, sheepskins, or crib bumpersanywhere in your baby’s sleep area. Evidence does not support using crib bumpers to prevent injury. In fact, crib bumpers can cause serious injuries and even death. Use a firm mattress that fits snuggly in the cot with a fitted crib sheet. Avoid using loose blankets. Do not let your baby get too hot during sleep (Remember that a cold baby will wake from discomfort, a hot baby won’t). Around 18 degrees Celsius is the correct room temperature. Don’t let your baby’s head become covered. To prevent your baby wriggling down under the covers, place them in the “feet to foot” position. This means their feet are at the end (foot) of the crib, cot or Moses basket. Smoking remains the most important modifiable risk factor in reducing the risk of SIDS. Make sure that everyone who cares for your baby uses the safe sleeping recommendations to put your baby to sleep. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: Why should I place my baby on his or her back to sleep? Research shows that the back sleep position is the safest for babies. The back sleep position carries the lowest risk of SIDS. Will my baby choke if placed on his or her back to sleep? No. Healthy babies naturally swallow or cough up fluids—it’s a reflex all people have to make sure their airway is kept clear. Babies might actually clear such fluids better when on their backs because of the location of the windpipe (trachea) when in the back sleep position. Healthy infants protect their airway when placed on their backs, provided that swallowing and arousal mechanisms are normal. Cases of fatal choking are very rare except when related to a medical condition. The number of fatal choking deaths has not increased since back sleeping recommendations began. In most of the few reported cases of fatal choking, an infant was sleeping on his or her stomach. Is it okay if my baby sleeps on his or her side? Side sleeping is not recommended as a safe alternative to sleeping on the back and increases the risk of SIDS. Much (but not all) of the risk associated with the side position is related to the risk of the infant rolling onto their tummy. For this reason, babies should sleep wholly on their backs—the position associated with the lowest SIDS risk. What

The Don Father

The Small-Scale Approach For New Dads

Preparing for the days leading up to baby’s arrival were well planned and organized. We knew what we needed, what the process was going to be and felt quite calm at the fact that we had done our homework. Speed things up a bit and here we are, in the car, driving home from the hospital at 30kms per hour. My first challenge was getting baby into the car seat and actually fastening her in correctly. (Best advice: get to know that car seat back to front beforehand – My wife did ask me to do this…several times) On a morning that was probably around a cool 25 degrees, I found myself in a pool on my own sweat, not sure whether to have the aircon on or the windows open? In the end I couldn’t decide and drove home in what felt like a moving sauna. Leaving the hospital with our new little addition is quite an overwhelming feeling. No more nurses on hand 24 hours a day, you can pretty much say, sh@% just got super real! The feeling of closing the front door once we had arrived home safely can probably be compared to winning a challenge on The Amazing Race. We were home – Now what? Tip # 1: Check the nappy – We had fed baby, burped her and pretty much checked all the boxes but baby was still not happy, after a short while we realized we had forgotten to check her nappy. Once changed, baby passed out immediately. #Winning Tip # 2: Get a heater – I can’t express how effective a simple, fan heater is. Heat the room before bath time and baby will just lie there, enjoying the warmth, never mind the sweat dripping from my forehead, as long as baby is happy…that’s all that matters right? Tip # 3: Relax – Everything is going to be just fine. We tend to be on edge most of the time in the beginning…this feeling does go away, I think! Or maybe I’ve just become accustomed to it!? Tip # 4: Accept help– Family and friends will pop over with delicious dishes of their favourite offerings. Trust me, not having to worry about dinner makes life a lot easier. They will also offer to hang your washing, do the dishes and take out the trash. Accept with open arms – they genuinely want to help. In my pursuit to get some solid advice for new dads, I chatted to Robyn Lawrenson, Deputy Editor at Your Pregnancy Magazine. Check out Robyn’s 5 tips below: Communicate. When baby arrives, mom is going to feel like a slave to him/her. The breastfeeding, changing, soothing, swaddling, rocking, cleaning and preparation never end, and this can overwhelm even the most seasoned mothers in the first few weeks. Listen to her, ask her how she feels, and do everything you can to make her journey a little easier. Go on a date. Even if it’s just a two-hour dinner, it’s important to have time away from baby (who you’ve left with a trusted person) to focus on each other. And, try not to talk about the baby while you’re out! Find your own way to bond with baby. Make bath time, Daddy time. A great way for dads to bond with baby is by taking one job and completely making it your own. This is your special time, and your special job. Plus, it gives mom time to rest / have a shower / watch a rerun of Friends. Etc. Don’t expect her to want to even think about the prospect of sex for the first 6-8 weeks. It’s not safe or recommended, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate in other ways. Give her hugs every day, kiss her, write her notes, tell her you love her, and what a good job she’s doing. These little forms of affection go a long way in boosting her confidence and ensuring you stay close during the first few weeks. Speak to your employer about you paternity leave. In SA, according to labour law, fathers are only permitted three days of paternity leave. So, plan for this in advance so that you can accumulate some leave while your wife is still pregnant. This way, you can at least spend the first week together. There you have it, now go forth and be awesome!

Parenting Hub

Paternity Leave

At the risk of being ostracised, mercilessly, I feel we need to start looking at and changing paternity leave regulations. “Three days are more than enough. It’s not like you were pregnant, gave birth or have to breastfeed.” I have heard this argument more than once over the last few weeks. It just does not hold water for me and here is why. The labour law in South Africa allows a mother the following rights: Number of Leave Days Pregnant workers are entitled to at least 4 consecutive months of maternity leave. Based on Legislation in Section 25, of the Basic Conditions of Employment Act Timing of Leave Workers may take maternity leave 1 month before their due date, or earlier or later as agreed or required for health reasons. Workers may not go back to work within 6 weeks after the birth unless their doctor or midwife say it is safe. Based on Legislation in Section 25, of the Basic Conditions of Employment Act Based on the above it would seem that the leave is given due to medical reasons. Hence the clause that a mother may not be forced to return to work within the first 6 weeks after birth, the minimum amount of time required to recover from a C-section. I want to state clearly that I agree fully with the laws pertaining to maternity leave. I have an issue with the following law however: Number of Leave Days Full time workers may take 3 days of paid family responsibility leave during each annual leave cycle (12 month periods from date of employment). Family responsibility leave expires at the end of the annual cycle. Based on Legislation in Section 27, of the Basic Conditions of Employment Act Reasons for Leave You may take family responsibility leave: When your child is born There are further conditions as to when you may take family responsibility leave, but I would like to focus on the one mentioned above.  If you and your wife/partner have a child you are allowed only three days leave every 12 months. These three days must be split up between the day of the birth and then any doctor’s appointments you might have where the baby is sick.  Keep in mind this does not include the three clinic appointments and 6 week check-ups that you and baby have to attend as they are regular appointments and do not fall under family responsibility. Let us look at a practical example, mine: Our little angel was born on a Thursday. We went in for induction at 06:00 a.m. and she was born at 11:18 a.m. The days leave I had to take counts as day 1 of family responsibility.  Our little one had jaundice and had to stay in the hospital until the Monday before we could take her home. Family responsibility day 2.  I now have 1 family responsibility day left for the rest of the year. This includes days that I might have to take my child to the doctor if she is sick. I took two weeks of my leave, that I saved by not taking leave in December, to stay home with my partner and help her with our baby. I am now in a situation where I have no leave days, and 1 family responsibility day left. Even if I took no other leave day for a year I would have a maximum of 12 days left for the year.  Luckily we had a natural birth. If Jani were to have had a C-section and be unable to drive for 6 weeks, we would really have been in trouble. Big corporate companies like Facebook have identified this same issue and are now allowing up to 6 months paid paternity leave within the first year after your child is born. He decision was made to allow fathers to spend quality time with their baby, growing a healthy family unit. Unfortunately this is the exception and not the rule. The current paternity leave laws are sexist and they represent a misguided stigma that fathers do not want to spend time with their children. I believe we as parents should unite in requesting the law makers to amend these archaic laws and allow fathers to be fathers and assist in the raising of their children. As a father I want to be part of my child’s life, but without the proper laws in place to allow me to do so, I am forced to leave my partner to cope with the stress of doctors appointments, sick days, etc. on her own.  

Megan Kelly Botha

3 Beauty Hacks found at the bottom of your Diaper Bag

Often, I find myself in a beauty aisle deciding whether the R200 spent on a body oil is actually worth the splurge but usually end up settling on the idea that I would much rather spend the same amount on a bag of nappies because who would want soft skin and wet patches of carpet throughout their house, anyway? Baby products are designed in a way that they only contain the mildest ingredients to ensure that even the most sensitive skin is nourished and taken care of. It got me thinking that maybe it’s time we swap out our usual expensive “adult” products for baby products which will not only mean we’d be taking better care of ourselves with the use of gentle products, but perhaps saving a buck or two for the next pack of nappies or I don’t know… a new lipstick? Here’s a list of three seemingly normal baby products, found at the bottom of my son’s diaper bag, which pack a number of uses and beauty hacks and has prompted me to adding them to my beauty shelf. Baby Powder I bet that you have a lot of unused baby powder, don’t you? Baby powder is really versatile and can help remove oil stains from clothes, absorb dampness in smelly gym shoes or bags, cool your bed sheets in summer and remove beach sand from your skin with the greatest of ease but it also packs a host of beauty functions too. Try dusting a thin layer of baby powder to your lashes in between coats of mascara, to get voluminous lashes that will have everyone wondering what’s your trick.  The baby powder adds thickness and length by clinging on to the lashes that are already coated in a layer of mascara. Improve the longevity of your lipstick by applying your lipstick as usual, and then placing a tissue over your lips before dusting baby powder around the lip area (using a powder brush). Apply a second coat of lipstick to top it off and enjoy longer lasting lip coverage. If you’ve nicked yourself after shaving and are struggling to stop it from bleeding, apply a dash of baby powder which will help clot the blood and stop it from bleeding everywhere. Baby Oil Baby oil restores lost moisture and is especially great during the winter months, by adding just a few drops to your bath water, it can help hydrate skin and leave it feeling smoother and softer all day long. Other uses for baby oil includes removing makeup as the oil helps to gently break down water-proof lip and eye products, which is where the skin tends to be the most sensitive. It is also a great post-shaving product and helps to soften cracked or dry heels. Bum Cream It shouldn’t shock you that baby bum cream is a great way to reduce redness, hence it works so well on bum rashes, but the cream can also be used as a spot treatment and works to treat acne or reduce any red blotchiness. You can also use baby bum creams like Sudocrem to prep and prime your face, to ensure that the coverage of your foundation is long lasting. Lastly, if you find your foundation is a little darker than you’d like, try adding a dash of bum cream (colourant free) to help lighten the formula. That wraps up the beauty hacks that you can find at the bottom of your diaper bags. Have you heard of any of these before? I’d love to know which you will be making use of soon. Like my beauty tips? Instead of giving into my broodiness, I committed to an entire year of sharing beauty tips daily on social media. Check out #365BeautyTips or follow me on Instagram: @byMeganKelly to see more!

Parenting Hub

SLEEP, BREASTFEEDING AND YOUR BABY- A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE

When should my little one be sleeping through? Every baby and toddler has a unique sleeping and feeding pattern, so be careful of comparing your schedule with that of other moms. If you are comfortable and happy with how things are going, then there is no need to worry or intervene. This is a very rough guide if you aren’t sure what to expect: Newborn – 15-17H sleep in 24H, waking every 2-4 hours for feeding 0 – 3 Months – 4H sleep in 24H, with about 3 naps in the day and waking up 0-3 times at night for feeding. Longer night sleeps (about 5 hours) established by the end of 3 months. 3 – 6 Months – 3H in 24H, still napping about 3 times a day and waking 0-3 times at night. 6 – 12 Months – 13H in 24H, napping about twice a day. Night waking may increase in this period, although baby will only need 1 or 2 night feedings. 12 – 24 Months – 13H sleep in 24H, with about 1 daily nap and 1 night-time waking. Breastmilk or formula milk? Even though every mom knows “breast is best”, after 7 nights of not sleeping due to a hungry baby, it can be tempting to supplement with formula milk, which many believe keep their baba more satisfied. It is true that formula milk is more difficult to digest than breastmilk, which means night feeds won’t need to be as frequent in formula fed babies. However, this doesn’t mean that breast milk is insufficient – far from it. In fact, one of breastmilk’s countless benefits is that it changes composition at night to help your little one sleep better. Night breastmilk has increased concentrations of tryptophan which increases serotonin, the neurotransmitter that will keep baby calm and sleeping. A study in 2010 showed that whether a mother breastfeeds, formula feeds, or combines the two, it makes no difference to how much sleep she gets. Night-waking for breastfeeding and comfort are perfectly normal; however, if it is making life difficult for mom and is affecting the family, night weaning is possible – consult a professional about doing it in a way that is healthy for baby and the family. Is my breastmilk really enough? Mother’s milk is sufficient and perfect for baby under 6 months. However, babies may wake up hungry if they are getting inconsistent and unsatisfying feeds throughout the day. Ironically, giving formula milk or cereal at night instead of breastfeeding will inhibit supply of breastmilk, perpetuating the problem. Breastfeed on demand throughout the day to ensure regular and adequate nutrition. If you have to be away from little one for a few hours, express milk in between feeds. Folklore suggests that drinking a glass of wine or beer, especially before the last breastfeed of the day, improves milk supply and helps baby sleep. Research shows that while alcohol in your breastmilk does make baby fall asleep faster, it results in shorter sleep times – not very helpful at all! And while the occasional single serving of alcohol is safe during breastfeeding, consistent and regular alcohol consumption can affect neurological and motor development. Good news is that moms shouldn’t have to give up their precious morning coffee – studies show that a moderate intake of caffeine (up to 5 cups of coffee) has no impact on baby’s sleep patterns, especially if you consumed caffeine regularly during pregnancy. Trust your instincts – if you can see baby becoming more alert and restless after a lot of caffeine, then try decreasing your intake. What about solids? A night feed of baby cereal, or even cereal in a bottle throughout the night, can seem like the perfect solution to an exhausted mommy, even when baby is younger than the recommended weaning age of 4-6 months. Unfortunately, research shows that cereal has no impact on baby’s sleeping duration, and in fact introducing solids before 4 months may shorten sleep duration until 2 years of age! Besides this, feeding infant cereals too early carries several risks, including impaired growth and development, nutrient deficiencies, risk of overweight later in life, and choking (especially if fed from a bottle throughout the night). Adequate iron, magnesium or zinc is essential for a good night’s sleep – make sure that you are getting enough of these minerals in your diet, or via a good supplement, while breastfeeding. After 6 months, include sources of these minerals (animal meats, iron-fortified grains, nut butters, legumes, dark green vegetables) in your child’s solids, or supplement with a health professional’s guidance. Give it time! There are many reasons for night waking, from illness to simply seeking contact with mom or dad. Waking at night is normal for infants, and they will eventually grow out of it as part of normal development!

Parenting Hub

Easy Hydration For Breastfeeding Moms

Many of us moms give a lot of thought to eating well while we are breastfeeding, knowing that we are passing on the very nutrients we consume to our precious bundles of joy.  However, apart from avoiding alcohol and minimising our caffeine intake, less thought may be given to what we might be drinking on a day to day basis.  The nutritional impact of what we drink is one important consideration; the other is that it is also vital for breastfeeding moms to stay properly hydrated. Common advice includes ensuring you get the recommended eight to ten glasses of fluids a day; to drink a glass of water at each breastfeeding session and to give preference to caffeine-free rooibos tea.  Fresh fruit and vegetable juices, that are free of preservatives and other chemical additives, also frequently get the nod of approval from nutritionists. However, when it comes to hydration strategies for breastfeeding moms, there’s a new kid on block that is grabbing global attention; and that’s coconut water.  Due to its phenomenal electrolyte content, pure coconut water is an isotonic drink which is more hydrating than water.  Now more easily available in South Africa, coconut water provides breastfeeding moms with a refreshingly different and completely health-filled option when it comes to avoiding dehydration. Unlike coconut milk and coconut cream which are derived from the meat of ripe coconuts; coconut water is the almost clear fluid contained in young, green coconuts.  It’s a traditional, staple drink of islanders in the tropics that has been highly valued for centuries for its restorative and health-giving properties.  Coconut water is packed with the essential electrolytes, potassium, magnesium, calcium, sodium and phosphorus, which our body needs for all major functions, from muscles and nerves to heart and brain.  It is common for breastfeeding moms to feel fatigued, and coconut water is the ideal energy-boosting pick-me-up that is free of chemical additives. Coconut water is also rich in vitamins, particularly the B vitamins, as well as trace minerals such as zinc, selenium and manganese.  It is full of amino acids, enzymes and health-boosting plant hormones known as cytokinins.  It is known for its soothing effect on the digestive system and its active support of a well-functioning immune system.  If this wasn’t enough, coconut water happens to be a wonderfully low-calorie option.  It is virtually fat free and very low in natural sugar, which is just perfect for moms trying to shed those last few pregnancy kilos. In order to optimise on all the fantastic goodness that natural coconut water offers, it is important to read the products’ labels and be aware of the sources of this ‘elixir of Nature’.   Avoid options that are derived from concentrates or that include additives such as sugar or preservatives.  Recently launched in South Africa, CocoZone is a brand that offers 100% pure coconut water that is extracted and tetra-packed for freshness at the source, which is a single origin plantation farmed without the use of chemical fertilisers, herbicides and pesticides. If you are feeling bored with yet another glass of water during breastfeeding, or you have resolved to cut high calorie drinks out of your diet while you are breastfeeding, consider reaching for refreshing taste from tropics that is nothing but good for you, and good for baby too! For more information or to find your nearest stockist please visit www.cocozone.com

Parenting Hub

Latching A Premature Baby

Congratulations, your baby has arrived! But she’s a little earlier than expected. You will most likely find yourself in very unfamiliar territory. Your baby is hooked up to machines and you have been discharged from hospital without her. Things are not going as you thought they would and quite frankly it can all be very scary. One of the first questions you may be asking is… when and how can I breastfeed my baby? Firstly, breastmilk is absolutely the best food for your baby. The sooner she can get it, the better. If your baby has been taken to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), it is important that you begin expressing within 3 hours following birth. The hospital should have an excellent grade of breast pump sterile and ready for you to use. They will also be able to guide you regarding storage of breastmilk for your baby. The sucking and swallowing reflexes do not fully mature until about 36 weeks gestation. Your baby will need to be able to coordinate these reflexes simultaneously in order to drink milk. For this reason, your baby may be fed your expressed colostrum and later breastmilk through a nasogastric tube (a tube that is fed through the nose and directly into your baby’s stomach) until she is ready and able to latch. At this stage, it is a good idea to offer your baby a dummy during feeds. By doing this, your baby will learn to associate suckling with the feeling of fullness. If you are able, you can also hold your baby at your breast during tube feedings. Work closely with hospital staff as well as a qualified lactation consultant during this time as they will be able to determine when your baby is ready to nurse.  In the mean time, continue to express every 3 hours during the day and every 4 to 5 hours at night in order generate a good milk supply. You may also want to ask your healthcare professional to help you spend some time with your baby in Kangaroo Care – this has been proven to not only speed up growth and development in premature babies but also to help establish and maintain successful breastfeeding. Time To Latch The time has come and you have finally been given the go ahead to latch and feed your baby. Bear in mind that this will generally be a slow and easy process. One feed at a time and often this feed will be interspersed with much resting in-between. This is a season when you and your baby are getting to know one another and feeding can initially take lots of practice until you both get it right. Feeds will start with just one a day at your baby’s happiest time of day and gradually be built up over a few days until your baby is strong enough to come off of the nasogastric tube and breastfeed completely. Ideally one should sit comfortably in a quiet and private area, close to any equipment that is needed. Use pillows to support your back and another to support your baby. Be sure to avoid any unnecessary stimulation such as bright lights, loud noises, stroking, rocking or even talking to your baby – this can all be very overwhelming for your baby. remember that learning this new skill of feeding at the breast requires a great deal of energy and attention from your baby. Some mothers find it best to express a little before attempting to feed as this will encourage the let down reflex without baby having to work too hard. The cradle hold is favoured by most perm babies as well as their mothers. Hold your baby at the same level as your breast, supporting her entire body with your forearm. Use your free hand for additional support on her neck and shoulders. Once baby has latched you can remove this additional support and relax. Make sure that tiny hands and arms are out of the way as this can cause unnecessary frustration for both you and your baby. Gently guide your baby’s mouth towards your nipple stroking her top lip to encourage latching. Unless part of your breast is actually touching your baby’s face, she will not know that the breast is there. Because of the immature neurological system of  preterm infant, your baby may not open her mouth automatically to latch right away. Gently moving your baby’s face away from the breast and then bringing her back might help. Alternatively, you can try pulling down on her chin with one finger and waiting for her tongue to drop down to the base of her mouth before gently guiding her to latch. If this method still does not work or if it is needed for more than a couple of attempts, it would be wise to make use of a nipple shield until your baby is able to respond appropriately. Try to refrain from holding your breast with your free hand while feeding as this can limit baby’s ability to latch resulting in poor milk transfer and possibly, sore nipples. Avoid touching your baby’s face while feeding. Her routing reflex will develop at around 33 weeks gestation and touching the cheeks, lips or chin may cause your baby to turn towards your touch rather than towards your breast. If your little one’s nose is pressed up against your breast, do not push your breast in to make space as this may cause her to come off the breast. Rather, gently adjust your elbow and tuck her bottom in closer to you – this should angle her nose up giving her space to breathe. Should your baby experience gulping or choking, adjust her position to make sure that her head is now lying higher than her tummy. If this does not help, you may want to express a little before attempting to feed as this will allow your baby to nurse with a less intense milk flow until

Good Night Baby

To Chiro Or Not To Chiro

By Dr. Nicole Louw MTech Chiropractic (UJ) MCASA Is chiropractic safe for my children? Why should my child get checked, she feels fine? You have your children’s teeth checked, and most schools do an eye and hearing exam yearly, so why don’t you have regular health check ups? Children’s bodies are physically weaker than adults, so they have a better chance of experiencing spinal subluxations (a vertebrae out of place that is pinching a nerve and causing problems) while doing every day activities. Why wait till your child is sick to bring them into the chiropractor? Subluxations can exist for a long time without causing any pain, but deficiencies in other areas, while they may not be noticeable, may be present the entire time. Let’s start from the beginning. The very beginning, before your child is even born. You should be receiving spinal checkups as often as weight check ups. Subluxations cause uneven blood flow to parts of your body, including the uterus. If your baby isn’t getting enough blood, they may not be getting enough oxygen, which is more important during the development process than you think. Lack of oxygen to the uterus can cause several complications early in infancy, which could lead to such tragic events as SIDS. Next we’ll look at when the baby is born. A newborn’s spine can be twisted and turned from birth. As hard as labor is on the mother, think of how hard it is on the baby! Abraham Towbin, MD states: “The birth process…is potentially a traumatic, crippling event… mechanical stress imposed on obstetrical manipulation—even the application of standard orthodox procedures may prove intolerable to the foetus…most signs of neonatal injury observed in the delivery room are neurological…” Now, we’ll look at the infants first week. Research is ongoing, and with each study done, more and more credit is being given to chiropractic health care in the importance of the health of children. In a study done on 1,250 infants who were examined five days after birth, 211 of them were experiencing vomiting, hyperactivity, and sleeplessness, and subluxations were found in 95% of them. The researchers in this study were all Medical Doctors (MD’s) and they all recognised the power of chiropractic. The babies were given the spinal care they needed, and it worked. The researchers (remember, these are MD’s we’re talking about) noted that the spinal adjustment resulted in “immediate quieting,  cessation of crying, and muscular relaxation and sleepiness.” Chiropractic and Colic Colic. One of the worst words a parent of a newborn can hear. Your baby cries for hours on end and there is nothing you can do about it. What’s worse than the disturbing, high pitched screaming that doesn’t stop and has no apparent cause, is the fact that there is nothing you can do to help your child when it sounds like they need help the most. It’s heartbreaking to hear your baby screaming like it’s in pain, and being able to do nothing about it. Well, almost nothing. This is where chiropractic comes in. If your baby experienced a longer pushing stage, or any type of assisted delivery (i.e. – forceps, vacuum, etc.) there is a good chance that they have subluxations. Babies with significant enough subluxations, or subluxations in certain areas, may have big problems, and they can’t tell you about them. Because of these subluxations, major systems in the body may not function correctly, such as the digestive system, and your baby may not be able to digest breast milk like he or she should, possibly causing gas and bloating. The flexed legs, clenched fists, and tensed abdominal muscles point to a pain in the abdominal region, but that hasn’t been proven. What has been proven, however, is that chiropractic adjustments can work. Medical doctors (those you would find at a hospital) may prescribe dimethicone drops, or gas drops, that are the standard, and vastly ineffective treatment. Others may say it’s a sensitivity to breast milk and may advise providing a lactose-free milk, which has also proven to be ineffective. Studies done at the University of Southern Denmark have reported that colicky babies who received chiropractic care cried far less than those receiving the standard gas drops prescribed by medical doctors. This study was done on behalf of the National Health Service, and found chiropractic to have no negative side effects on infants, which is “standard” for chiropractic! Another study was done in South Africa, by Mercer and Cook. In this study, 30 infants who were medically diagnosed as having colic, were randomly divided into two groups. One group received chiropractic care while the other did not. Each infant in the study was 0-8 weeks old and diagnosed with colic by a paediatrician. For this study, the group who received chiropractic care received it for two weeks with a six adjustment maximum. The results were impressive. In the group who received chiropractic care, 93% had completely resolved symptoms in just the two week period. A little shorter than the “wait 3 months for it to run its course” plan that most medical doctors will tell you. Something even more impressive was the one month follow up assessment. The infants who received chiropractic care had seen no symptoms one month after receiving chiropractic care. For those of you who don’t feel comfortable relying on studies done in different countries (although much medical research comes from other countries), here is one from the Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics. It is a randomised clinical trial published in 1999, and in this study, researchers assigned infants diagnosed with colic into two groups, one to receive chiropractic care for two weeks and the other to receive the popular (and basically ineffective) anti-gas medication dimethicone for two weeks. The babies receiving chiropractic treatment showed a decrease of 68% in crying, while the other group only showed a decrease of 38%. Chiropractic care is a conservative, gentle, and very successful option for treating infants with colic. Chiropractic adjustments for infants are specific, gentle, and safe. In the hands of an experienced chiropractor, many infants sleep right through the adjustment. An infant adjustment utilises no more pressure than someone applying make up to their face. Next time you are told “there is nothing you can do except wait it out,” just smile, nod, and bring your child right to the chiropractor, because a healthy baby makes a happy home.

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Quick Tips For Storing Breast Milk

 Express breast milk, using a manual or electric breast pump. Wash your hands well with soap and water before handling the pre-sterilised bag. Mark each bag with the date and time when you expressed the milk. Tear open the bag horizontally along the perforated edge at the top, in the direction of the arrowhead. Hold the opened bag with one hand and use the other hand to pour the freshly expressed breast milk into the bag slowly, not filling the bag beyond 150ml. Before sealing the bag, squeeze out the air and use your fingers to zip close the bag. For best results, keep the bag upright, in a separate hard sided container until the milk has frozen. Store breast milk bag in the back of the fridge for 24 hours or back of freezer for 3 months. How do I thaw frozen breast milk? Always thaw/defrost the oldest breast milk first. Check the date and time written on each bag. Thaw the frozen milk overnight in the fridge, or, for immediate use, immerse the bag in warm (not hot) water until the milk is fully defrosted. Pour the milk into a sterilised feeding bottle, feeding cup or spoon. Never thaw frozen milk at room temperature, as this will enable bacteria to multiply in the milk. Never thaw breast milk in a microwave oven or boiling water. This will reduce the milk’s nutrients. Only warm the milk after it has been thawed/defrosted. Thawed milk can be stored in a fridge for up to 24 hours. Discard any remaining milk. Don’t refreeze thawed or partially thawed breast milk. Pre-sterilised, sealable storage bags In the first few days after delivery, breasts can become engorged with excess milk and mothers may find it convenient to express and store their breast milk for later use. But some of the storage products on the market are very expensive and it is not a viable option for everyone.

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Colic – Transient Lactase Deficiency

It can be incredibly distressing to hear your baby crying endlessly with colic, yet feel unable to stop it.  Colic is defined as repeated episodes of excessive and inconsolable crying for at least 3 hours per day, at least 3 days per week.  The condition can affect between 5 to 20% of babies typically starting in the first weeks of life and tends to resolve by three to four months. It is generally unknown what causes colic.  One possible cause, which has been researched, is a transient lactase deficiency which may occur due to some babies being born with an immature digestive system.  A deficiency of lactase enzyme in the small intestine results in the inability of the body to fully digest the milk-sugar lactose.  This causes undigested lactose in milk to be broken down by bacterial activity in the bowel which can result in severe discomfort, bloatedness and wind.  By the time the baby is 3 to 4 months old their digestive system usually develops sufficiently to produce adequate levels of lactase enzyme. Research at Cork University Hospital in the early 1990s demonstrated that a lactase-reduced feed was effective in reducing infant colic and the hours of crying.  This was presented to the Royal College of Paediatricians and confirmed in a larger study completed at Guys Hospital, England and published in the Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics in October 2001. Essentially, drops containing lactase, an enzyme which occurs naturally within the body, are added to the feed and work by breaking down most of the lactose in the baby’s usual milk before the baby is fed, making the feed more digestible.  The drops can be added either to some expressed breast milk or with infant formula.  If the baby is lactase deficient a real benefit is that the colic symptoms are prevented rather than trying to treat the symptoms in a stressful situation. Colief infant drops, the lactase drops, used in these trials are available in South Africa.  For some mothers these drops may help facilitate continued breastfeeding and save having to switch to special formula milks.  The drops are used until the baby is approximately three to four months old, by which time their digestive system will be producing their own lactase enzyme and the symptoms of colic should have disappeared. For more information: http://www.skymedsa.co.za/colief-infant-drops-scalp-oil-vitamin-d-drops email:  info@skymedsa.co.za

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Health Benefits Of Breastfeeding

Becoming a new mom is an exciting time, but can also be daunting as you make numerous decisions before the big arrival. Of course, one of these is breastfeeding! Advice comes from loved ones, doctors, strangers and, of course, Google. Ultimately however, you have to make the best decision for yourself and the new addition. With that, comes the need to understand the benefits of breastfeeding as well as how you can incorporate breastfeeding into your life so that… well, you still have one! Health and emotional benefits Breastfeeding is proven to provide many health benefits. In fact, benefits of breastfeeding extend well beyond basic nutrition. In addition to containing all the vitamins and nutrients your baby needs in the first 6 months of life, breast milk is packed with disease-fighting substances that provide defence against illnesses and allergies. In pre-term babies, breastfeeding can not only reduce the risk of inflammation and infection in the tummy, but also protect them from infection. For full-term babies, it reduces the risk of stomach bugs, coughs and colds as well as middle-ear infections. Additionally, breast milk may also help children avoid a host of diseases that strike later in life such as eczema, diabetes and childhood leukaemia. In addition to the nutritional advantages, breastfeeding also provides health and emotional benefits to you as it helps the womb return to its normal size, while reducing the risk of ovarian and breast cancer, as well as osteoporosis. From the emotional side, breastfeeding also helps you maintain the close relationship that you have built with your baby. In fact, especially when you return to work, breastfeeding can help you deal with the separation emotionally as you continue to nurture and provide for your child as only you can. Mothers who are unhappy about being separated from their baby have found that continuing to breastfeed has helped them to cope better emotionally. Being separated from your baby for any length of time can be traumatic. In many cases, working moms experience separation anxiety when they first returned to work. Getting back to ‘normal life’ Most mothers return to work simply because they feel they have to. Whether it is by choice or necessity, working mothers need any help they can get when trying to juggle work and being a full time mom. Some moms feel like they are pressured into breastfeeding and that their lives are on hold while this happens. The good news, though, is that there are options available today that ensure you can experience the true bond that breastfeeding offers while ‘sharing the responsibility’ with your spouse. There are many ways in which breastfeeding can occur alongside going back to work. If there is a workplace crèche or some form of child care nearby, you could visit your baby during the day. If you cannot visit your baby during the day or bring him/her into work with you, there are products such as breast pumps that can allow you to express milk, milk storage containers that enable you to store your milk for up to 5 days and milk warmers keeping the milk at the right temperature when needed. This gives you the freedom you want without the guilt – while involving the dads in this important task. Expressing for convenience  Expressing breast milk ensures your baby always gets the very best in nutritional feeding while giving you more flexibility. You may be going back to work, your partner might like to be more involved in feeding your little one, or you may just want to treat yourself to a long overdue rest – or night out. Additionally, there may be times when your breasts feel full and uncomfortable, but your baby isn’t ready to feed yet. That’s when using a pump can give you some relief. Later, once you’re up and running with breastfeeding, expressing can help to build your milk supply, along with your baby suckling. You’ll then have a store of milk handy for when you need it. Expressing breast milk is really easy with practice, although it’s best to wait four to six weeks after the birth to let breastfeeding become established before you start – unless a healthcare professional recommends otherwise. However, just as breastfeeding is a skill that needs practice, so is expressing breast milk. It is worthwhile to practice at home before you actually go back to work. It is also a good idea to have a pump so that you can store up some milk before you go back to work so that you have supplies on hand before you start working – just in case. How often you should pump also depends on a few factors. Do you intend to pump enough during the day for the baby to have exclusive breast milk the following day? If you want your baby to drink breast milk alone then it is a good idea to empty your breasts about as often as your baby feeds. However if you can’t pump as often as your baby feeds, you shouldn’t stop nursing altogether. Some workplaces are just not conducive to pumping. This doesn’t automatically mean that you your milk will dry up. Pumping just once a day will give you some stimulation, stop you from becoming engorged, and help maintain your supply. Arm yourself with info Bringing a child into this world is certainly an exciting time, but it can also be daunting. Arming yourself with as much information as possible is critical at every point – including breastfeeding. A lack of information can lead to misguided views and choices – so never be too scared to ask! Equip yourself with the knowledge and know-how when it comes to breastfeeding, as well as the benefits and options that are available so that you can make the best decision for you and your family.

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Down Syndrome Awareness

Children with Down syndrome are keen to be social and their interactive communication skills (the ability to understand and participate in conversations) are good. This strength should be recognized and every effort made to enable them to communicate in all the settings that they are in at home and at school. Increasing the quantity and quality of everyday communication experience for children with Down syndrome is an important intervention (Buckley, S. 2000:27). The following ideas and activities may enhance and develop language skills: Talk to your children – they understand more than they can say. Talk about what your children are doing and their experiences. Expand what your children are saying by repeating and elaborating on their sentences. e.g.  If the child is saying “Dog sit”, you say, “The dog is sitting”. Follow your child’s lead in communication settings – this includes active listening and it may encourage more communication from your child. Incorporate all the senses when you teach your children new concepts, e.g. let them: listen to, look at, feel, taste and smell an object. Signing could be a useful tool which may allow more effective communication and less frustration. Musical activities may be beneficial: The repetitive, fun and engaging elements of music and musical activities, such as singing songs, rhythm and experimenting with musical instruments may also enhance and develop memory and attention qualities. Visual learning activities may support language learning and comprehension skills. For example: Playing language games where words are printed on cards. This could also help with learning individual words and their meanings. Reading books and pictures – an interactive and enriching activity for all! Time well spent and definitely one of the most valuable sources of language development. Most children with Down syndrome understand more language than their expressive language skills suggest and therefore their understanding may, very often, be underestimated. This means that their social interactive skills and non-verbal communication skills may be seen as areas of strength (Buckley, S. & Bird, G. 2001:5). However, facial muscle tone, articulation and phonology may need specific attention and support. The following activities may prove to be beneficial and help with speech production: Blowing bubbles or any other blowing activities (for example: blow balls and bubble fun). Create pictures by blowing paint over paper with a short straw. Blow up balloons. Blow whistles. Play Blow Soccer by using a rolled up ball of aluminum foil / a cotton ball on the floor or on a table. Sucking activities – use straws and vary the thickness of the straws. Licking an ice-cream. (Please be careful of allergies / intolerances) Spread peanut-butter on lips, the child can lick it off. (Please be careful of allergies/ intolerances) “They might be a little slower, but that also slows life down for everybody around them.” – Joshua Tillotson, father of Down Syndrome twins.

Meg Faure

Establishing A Good Sleep Routine

Feeling jaded and sleep deprived? You are in good company. Less than half of all babies sleep through before the toddler years and even if they do, sleep issues can raise their ugly head at any time.  Sleep problems need to be addressed because not only do you feel bad, sleep deprivation is not good for your baby either. The importance of sleep Sleep is important for your little one because it is healing for his body and mind. During a long period of unbroken sleep, your baby will cycle from light sleep to deep sleep and back many times. When in the light sleep state he will dream and his amazing brain processes and lays down memories of the experiences he had during the day. This sleep state is surmised to be essential for memory and learning. Deep sleep is just as important for development because during this sleep state, your baby sorts the important information from the day from the irrelevant. The superfluous synapses are literally pruned and connections that are not commonly used are severed, freeing up energy and brain connections for more useful function. Establishing a good sleep routine One way to guide your baby into better sleep habits is to establish a sleep routine. The key to routines is that they need to be flexible and age appropriate. There are three steps to setting up a sleep routine effectively: Follow age appropriate awake times for your baby All babies have age related optimal awake times – intervals in which your little one can be happily awake. During this time he will be content and interactive, learning from his environment. If your baby is kept awake for longer than his ideal awake time, he will become needy, easily over stimulated and generally irritable. In addition to this he will not naturally fall into a sleepy state and thus will be more difficult to get to sleep. The easiest way to get your baby into a routine is to make sure you settle him to sleep as when his age appropriate ‘Awake Time’ is up (See table for age appropriate Awake times).  Take note of the time your baby and then make sure to watch that he goes down according to his ‘Awake times’. Read your baby’s signals for tiredness In addition to watching the ‘Awake Time’, you should observe your baby’s individual signals. Signals that your baby is tired may include rubbing eyes, sucking hands, touching ears, looking into space, drowsy eyes or many other self-soothing strategies. When your baby shows the signs of drowsiness, he should be put down to sleep. Settle your baby with sleep cues Use soothing strategies to shift your baby into a drowsy state before putting him in the cot, such as dimming the lights or drawing the blinds; giving a feed, if this is helpful to settle him (such as before bedtime); a soothing massage for older babies and swaddling for little ones works a wonder; rocking your little one until he is drowsy. Once drowsy, put your little one in the cot so that he puts the last piece of the puzzle together for himself – self-soothing to sleep. Importance of self-soothing Newborns are unable to self-sooth effectively, which is why you may have found yourself rocking, patting and lulling your newborn to sleep. However, we do know that as your baby gets towards 4 months of age, he has the innate ability to access self-soothing strategies, such as sucking his hand, sucking a dummy, holding a ‘sleep lovey’ such as a bear or Taglet, or to simply hum to sleep. If this natural ability is allowed to develop, without too much interference, you will have a good sleeper. Where new parents frequently go wrong is by creating dependence and habits around sleep time, such as rocking a six month old to sleep or feeding a toddler at night. Try from around 4 months to give your little one the space and time to self sooth – do not let him cry or become distressed, but if he is moaning to sleep, support him to find his blanky or thumb and to access self soothing strategies independently. While getting a full night’s sleep may feel like a search for the holy grail, it is achievable, with simple strategies such as watching the awake times, your baby will settle into an age appropriate sleep routine.

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Five Best Markets For Kids

Make the most of Summer – Winter is on its way! Visiting local markets is a great way to spend weekend days and they’re all the rage right now. It’s the perfect way to get the whole family out the house and the delicious food and fresh produce is a real draw card for parents. We’ve put together a list of our best family market picks in Joburg, Cape Town and Durban. Johannesburg Fourways Farmers Market Opening hours: Sunday, 10am-3pm http://www.ffmarket.co.za/ With lots of seating space and more than 61 vendor stalls this is your one-stop-Sunday-morning-market-shop. Relax on hay bales under tall pine trees enjoying delicious market food and live music – there’s even champagne by the glass. Also located on the premises is the Aroma Café (hyperlink) which boasts a buffet breakfast, a beautiful playground and a kiddies’ menu. Bryanston Organic & Natural Market Opening hours: Thursdays, Saturdays and public holidays, 9am-3pm http://www.bryanstonorganicmarket.co.za/ Organic and natural food is the cornerstone of this market that offers a great variety of foods particularly for allergies and special dietary needs. A huge appeal for families is the Kids Quarter where children can enjoy craft activities, including candle dipping, sand art and a gemstone scratch-patch. Cape Town Tokai Forest Market Opening hours: Saturday, 9am-2pm http://tokaiforestmarket.co.za/ Spend the morning browsing the beautiful Tokai market whilst enjoying the freshest artisanal coffee. The market boasts a jumping castle, jungle gym and pony rides. Coming soon are cooking demos and game afternoons. Organjezicht City Farm Opening hours: Saturday, 9AM – 2PM http://www.ozcf.co.za/market-day/ This organic foodie’s paradise has temporarily moved to the historic Leeuvenhof estate. Bring your picnic blankets, kids and dogs and enjoy a morning of delicious fresh produce. Explore the beautiful the estate and even take a dip in the premier’s pool! Durban Golden Hours Family Market Opening Hours: Sunday, 10am-3.30pm https://www.facebook.com/pages/GOLDEN-HOURS-FAMILY-MARKET/121337227882 Spend a Sunday at this kiddies’ market paradise complete with an exciting play area and activities for kids of all ages. Expect the freshest produce and traditional homemade goodies. The Litchi Orchard Opening hours: The 2nd Saturday of every month, 9AM – 2PM http://www.litchiorchard.co.za/market/ This beautiful market venue on Durban’s north coast, combines top class food and drink with loads of open space for the kids (and dogs) to enjoy. Keep a look out for the playful resident mongooses.

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Rock Around The Clock Tonight: Braving Sleep Training

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth.”  Baz Lurhmann: Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen) When I moved to Jozi as a grad in 2003, I wound up in sales (recruitment). My boyfriend (now husband) had many years of sales experiences under his belt and gave me a piece of advice he’d picked up on a training course: “Clients/ customers only buy goods or services when they feel pain.” In the months following the departure of my first child’s night nurse, I realised that this was how I had come to view sleep training. It was something I knew I probably needed to buy into at some stage. Although I was in pain every time we had a bad night, the agony wasn’t consistent enough for me to attempt sleep training. The idea of sleep training was something I instinctively experienced as a kind of physical fear: the terrorised crying, the guilt of abandoning your helpless infant, the fear of inflicting permanent psychological damage, the self-doubt as to whether the child might be physically ill… it all just seemed too barbaric a concept for me to face. And, in a nutshell, too hard, really. It somehow felt easier to just suffer through four hours of rocking my child and begging her to sleep every three or four nights. Because in between those hellish nights, she’d mostly sleep through and I’d have a chance to recover – physically and emotionally. But when my daughter, Chiara, was 15 months old, something cracked. We just had too many three or four hour stints where I could not, for love or money, get her back to sleep in the middle of the night. (To this day, I don’t know why she sometimes woke up, but I do know that she had no idea how to put herself back to sleep because she had never been given the opportunity to learn that skill). A few hours cradling a baby in an armchair in the middle of the night might not sound like the worst thing on earth – especially if you have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom in privileged South Africa. But there is something absolutely soul destroying about the experience when you are going through it. I repeat: soul destroying. Perhaps you have to have experienced it yourself to know what I mean… I’m glad I finally reached rock bottom because I would not have had the determination to attempt sleep training otherwise. A few months earlier, I’d had lunch with a friend who was regularly spending an hour and a half putting her one year old to bed. She wasn’t pushy or evangelical at all on the topic but merely stated that sleep training had “changed their lives”. She described how, after the training, her daughter would point to her cot after only a few minutes. It seemed almost too good to be true and I wasn’t ready to put her advice into practice, but I secretly fantasized about a child who pointed at her cot. So, when I was ready (read absolutely desperate and in emotional pain), I emailed my friend and asked her for her “method” for Project Sleep Training. To date, at 15 months old, Chiara, had only ever been rocked to sleep, pushed to sleep or fallen asleep on her nanny’s back or in a moving car. My mother-in-law first mentioned “putting her down awake” when she was six months old. I’d never heard of such a crazy concept in my life and I though my mother-in-law was mad. It was only later that the information started to sink in… My friend’s method was gleaned from a range of online sources and she explained it to me in simple terms: Put baby in cot (yes, awake! Imagine?) Leave room Time three minutes on your phone If s/he is still crying after three minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time four minutes on your phone If the baby is still crying after four minutes, go in and lay your hand on him/her to reassure them for less than a minute. Don’t pick them up. Leave the room and time five minutes on your phone… The next day, you start by leaving the baby for four minutes, then five, then six etc. You’ll be surprised at how fast these kids catch on… For me, sleep training was indeed life changing. It took about two or three days of applying the above method by the book before my daughter got the message. I never experienced another night of being up for two to four hours on the trot – which had previously happened about three times a week. Of course if your baby isn’t completely well, sleep training is not a good idea. Rather wait till you feel confident that your child is healthy. As for teething, it can be hellish for some babies but teething goes on for two years so it’s worth fitting in sleep training somewhere along the line. Going away did disrupt my child’s sleep somewhat, but not to the same extent as it had prior to sleep training. I did find that when we got home, it was helpful to re-start the training for a night or two. When my second child came along, I cuddled and rocked him to my heart’s content, secure in the knowledge that I could train him to self soothe as soon as he – or rather, I – was ready.

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IS IT POSSIBLE TO BREASTFEED WHILE SICK?

The first thing that a nursing mom will worry about when she gets sick is the possibility of infecting her baby. This concern may lead to limiting contact with her baby and even to terminate breastfeeding out of fear of making her baby sick. In truth, it is very rare for a mom to have to stop breastfeeding due to illness. Sickness is not transmitted via breastmilk unless bacteria is present in the mother’s blood (such as septicaemia). During sickness, the mother’s body will produce antibodies (specific to that illness) which will actually protect her baby from the infection that she is carrying. Your baby will have been exposed to the illness a couple of days before you even realised that you were sick and so the best thing that you can do for your baby while sick, is to FEED. If baby does get sick, it will most likely be a much milder case than anybody else in the family has suffered. Because of the antibodies which your milk carries, limiting breastfeeding may actually increase your babies chances of getting sick. Contrary to popular belief, breastfeeding during a bout of food poisoning is completely safe unless the bacteria has crossed over to the mother’s bloodstream which would result in septicaemia and ultimately the mother being hospitalised. As long as the food poisoning is contained to your general vomiting, stomach cramps and diarrhoea, breastfeeding can continue as normal. While nursing is the best thing for your baby, it is not always the easiest task to carry out when you are not well. One may notice a slight drop in your milk supply and this could be due to a number of reasons, but it will build up again quickly once you have recovered. Rest well, keep yourself hydrated and make sure that the medications you are taking are safe for breastfeeding. Try to avoid large doses of vitamin B as well as drugs which contain pseudoephedrine (present in most oral decongestants) as well as throat lozenges containing menthol. Though safe for baby, these may decrease your milk supply. Opt for decongestant sprays rather than oral meds and use these sprays for the recommended time period only. Always take medication immediately after feeding to give your body the maximum amount of time to work through your meds. If possible, have someone help you with other daily tasks so that you can focus on feeding and recovering without the hassle of running everyday errands. Feed baby lying down to maximise rest and to minimise the chance of dropping your baby. Although many medications are completely safe while breastfeeding, you may wish to consider a few natural tips and remedies to see you through your next illness: Hot liquids relieve congestion, drink up Drink fenugreek tea to help ease head and chest congestion (fenugreek is also used to increase breastmilk) Inhale a vapour made with apple cider vinegar to help alleviate congestion Massage and hot packs placed on and around sinuses can ease pain and congestion Drinking strong black tea (using 2 teabags) can bring some comfort to a sore / scratchy throat Warm Sprite / lemonade has an anaesthetising effect on a sore throat Make your own rehydration drink using 1/2teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon bicarb, 8 teaspoons sugar, 250ml orange juice, 1l water Drink ginger tea to relieve nausea *please note, this blog is in no way intended to replace medical advice. Ask your doctor should you have any queries or concerns regarding medication that you are taking while breastfeeding.

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The Mommy Blues

Mutual regulation refers to a communication system that allows a mother to read emotional signals from her baby and meet his or her needs, as well as allowing the baby to read his/her mother’s response. So what happens when this system breaks down? Post Natal Depression (PND), otherwise known as Postpartum Depression, is a condition that affects between 10% and 15% of mothers. It has many similar characteristics with depression, and if help for this form of depression is not sought, it may have an impact on the way the mother interacts with her baby, as well as the child’s future cognitive and emotional development. One of the biggest problems with PND in mothers is that they are less sensitive to the needs of their babies, as well as being less engaged with them. Things like interpreting a baby’s cry and responding to it is one of the aspects that can be affected, such as being able to tell the difference between the hungry, sleepy or nappy-change cry. Symptoms of PND (according to the Royal College of Psychiatrists)include: Depression Irritability Chronic fatigue Changes in appetite An inability to enjoy anything Loss of interest in sex Guilty thoughts Anxiety Unsociability Hopelessness Thoughts of suicide Effects of PND also include feelings of guilt, the idea that you may not love or feel close to your baby, or that he or she doesn’t love you back, and resentment towards the baby. It is important for women to understand that these symptoms are normal, and are a result of hormonal and emotional difficulties and are not an indication of good or bad parenting. There are various suggestions as to how this can be treated or even prevented. Techniques to help depressed mothers include: Listening to music Visual imagery Aerobic exercise or yoga Meditation or massage therapy Talking to a professional Advice to new mothers: Don’t take on too much too fast. Learn to ask for help. Find someone to talk to Seek antenatal advice Sources: A Child’s World and The Royal College of Psychiatrists

Meg Faure

Crying Through The Ages

Newborn The newborn baby is typically much calmer and cries less than you would expect. Many parents are surprised that their baby does not scream at birth but rather makes quieter sounds and has a period of relative calm. Your hormones released in the birth process and the natural birth process itself results in a calm alert baby on the day he is born. Even after the initial 24 hours, the new baby is only really likely to cry when hungry, which once the milk comes in can be as often as two hourly or may be spread out to closer to four hours. It is important in the early days to feed your newborn on cue as this will not only settle him but also encourages your milk supply. The other time newborns cry is when being changed and bathed. Both changing and bathing result in feeling the cold air and new touch sensations, which can be disconcerting for the new baby. If a newborn (0-2 week old) cries a lot, it is important to have him checked by a doctor or clinic sister as this is typically a period of relative calm, which we call the honeymoon period. Most babies do not cry extensively during the early days. 2 weeks -3 Months At around the two week mark, many babies become unsettled and begin to fuss more than during the honeymoon period. This is completely normal and in fact the ‘crying curve’ is well documented. This curve shows that babies begin to cry seemingly without reason at around 2 weeks old and by 12 weeks old this crying has almost entirely abated.  This unexplained early baby crying peaks at about 6 weeks of age. Traditionally called colic, we now know that in fact this crying has nothing to do with the digestive system and remedies for tummy ailments make as much difference as sugar water. (St. James) Even if your baby tucks his legs up or kicks and screams for an extended period of time, you can rest assured that almost every crying baby of this age is healthy and normal. Colic is caused by over stimulation. Being alive in our busy sensory world can be overwhelming for many babies and this coupled with too little sleep will result in crying as your baby responds to the sensory input of the world and the little bubbles in his tummy with crying. The best ways to avert colic is to swaddle your baby and settle to him to sleep after only an hour of awake time. If your little one is very unsettled, do not worry about spoiling him at this age. Under four months of age babies do not have long term memory and so will not be ‘spoilt’ by being rocked or lulled to sleep. 4-6 Months The four to six month old is much less susceptible to overstimulation and therefore is more settled. But just as you think you are getting the hang of this parenting thing, you will find your baby become a little less predictable. Instead of remaining settled for a good three to four hours between feeds, many babies of this age begin to fuss and wake more frequently at night too. This relates to their new and growing nutritional needs. At this age you can choose to respond to the increased demand for nutrition with increasing the number and frequency or quantity of milk offered or you may choose to introduce solids. The latest research indicates the introduction of solids is safe and good for babies anytime between 4 and 6 months of age. Your 4-6 month old may still become crotchety if overtired or over stimulated. Watch your baby’s awake times (Baby Sense 2010) 6-12 Months The older baby is a bundle of fun and laughs and will not spend much time crying. There are a few reasons that typically raise their heads: Illness – many babies get their first colds and illnesses at this age and an irritable baby with a fever is not much fun. Separation anxiety – as your baby develops object permanence and realizes he is separate from you, he will become increasingly irritable whenever you are out of site. A transition object or security blanket will help him to feel a little more secure. Nappy change time – all 8 month olds resist having their nappy changed and become very irritable. This is typical and is no reason to be concerned. Simply put the back position for nappy changes is way to passive and our little one will get very irate when placed on his back. Teething – typically your baby’s first tooth will emerge during this stage and you may have a day or two of irritability. Toddlers Your toddler has an opinion and mind of his own and generally this will impact on his mood. There are three main reasons for crying and tantrums A toddler may throw an almighty tantrum if he is overtired – we tend to overestimate our toddler’s ability to stay awake and be stimulated. The reality is that toddlers need at least one day sleep and an early bedtime. In addition, toddlers can only socialize for a limited period before becoming over stimulated and crying or throwing a tantrum. If your toddler feels misunderstood, you will have a tantrum on your hands. Toddlers understand more than you would believe and can process cognitively what they want to say or do. The problem is that it will be some time before your toddler can express himself adequately. When he feels like you do not understand him a tantrum may ensue. Some toddlers throw tantrums and cry simply to get their way. Again this is normal and is part of developing independence and autonomy. Finally, it is vital to realize that all babies are different. Some settled little ones cry very little and take each stage in their stride, while a sensitive baby cries for almost no reason and is

Parenting Hub

Depression And Anxiety During And After Pregnancy

Pregnancy is generally assumed to be a wonderful time in the life of a family, a time of abundance and anticipated joy. For some women however, pregnancy can be an extremely stressful time, with many women experiencing feelings of both depression and anxiety. It is well known that pregnant women need to take care of their bodies in order to foster the growth of a health baby. However, it is equally important for pregnant women to take care of their emotional well-being, as untreated depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy can have long term consequences for the whole family. This article addresses some of the important issues with regards to pregnancy and depression and anxiety, and offers some advice on how best to cope with depression and anxiety during pregnancy. Are there different forms of depression during pregnancy? Depression is a common problem amongst women, and is most common in women age 18 to 44. This is the time when many women fall pregnant and so it stands to reason that pregnancy and depression can often overlap. Depression can therefore take on several different forms during and after pregnancy. Some women will be depressed prior to falling pregnant and this will continue into their pregnancy and even after the birth of their child. Some women will only become depressed during pregnancy and this can continue once the baby is born (becoming what is classified as postnatal or postpartum depression). In fact, research has established that women who are depressed whilst they are pregnant are more likely to experience postnatal depression, making it important that women who are depressed during pregnancy seek help before their baby is born. Some women will be emotionally well during their pregnancy, but will suffer with postnatal depression after the birth of their baby. Postnatal depression does not necessarily occur immediately and can start up to eight weeks after the birth of a child. It is important to bear in mind that all forms of depression are treatable, and that there are many different forms of treatment available to pregnant women who are depressed. Depression during pregnancy can often go hand in hand with anxiety. This is not surprising, as the many changes that occur during pregnancy can be very stressful for many women. During the first trimester, many women become anxious that they will miscarry, or that something else will go wrong at this early stage of pregnancy. During the third trimester, many women can become anxious about the birth of their child, worrying about the birthing process itself as well as the enormous impact that having a baby will have on them and their relationships. Many first time mothers become anxious during pregnancy as they worry ability to take care of an infant. Research has also shown that it is common for women to become anxious before being discharged from hospital once the baby has been born. These are all normal concerns and should not be seen as abnormal or wrong. However, if these anxieties become too extreme, or they are coupled with feelings of depression, then it is important that they are addressed and treated during pregnancy, as women who are extremely anxious during pregnancy are also more likely to experience postnatal depression. Why does depression often go undiagnosed and untreated during pregnancy? During pregnancy women experience many physical changes which differ depending on the stage of pregnancy. It is not uncommon for pregnant women to feel extremely tired, especially during the first and third trimesters. It is also very normal for pregnant women to have a change in appetite, ranging for example from nausea and lack of appetite in the first trimester, to increased appetite in the second and third trimesters. In addition, many women who are pregnant experience changes in libido. These are all normal aspects of pregnancy and are certainly no cause for concern. However, these changes are also hallmarks of depression. For this reason, depression can often go undiagnosed during pregnancy as both women themselves, and doctors, do not recognise these physical changes as depression. Unfortunately, up depression in pregnant women is misdiagnosed up to 50% of the time. This does not mean that all pregnant women should become overly concerned with becoming depressed or worry that the physical changes that they experience during pregnancy could be depression. Whilst up to 70% of women will experience some feelings of depression during pregnancy, it is estimated that only between 5 and 10% of women will experience clinical depression during pregnancy. In addition, approximately 13% of women who give birth will experience some degree of postnatal depression. This means that most pregnant women will not encounter problems with depression at any stage of their pregnancy. However, it is important for the small proportion of women who become depressed during pregnancy to seek help. Importantly, pregnancy is generally a time when women have regular contact with health care providers, meaning that there are numerous opportunities to access treatment for depression and anxiety during pregnancy. How will I know if I am depressed? Two important signs of depression are feeling down, depressed or hopeless and feeling little interest or pleasure in things that were previously enjoyable. We can’t all be happy all of the time, but if these feelings persist for most of the day over a period of about two weeks, then it is likely that your doctor would need to consider the possibility that you are clinically depressed. Many pregnant women feel too ashamed or embarrassed to mention these feelings to their doctors or to their friends or family. Women often feel an enormous amount of pressure to maintain a ‘happy face’ as they believe that pregnancy is supposed to be a time of joy, not sadness. However, it is extremely important for depression during pregnancy to be treated as there may be long term effects of depression on the baby as well as on the relationship between the mother and the baby. Importantly, depression during pregnancy is also

Megan Kelly Botha

Circumcision

When we found out that we were expecting a boy, my husband acted as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had an intense fear of raising a teenage girl who would PMS and end up liking and dating… boys! I have a sister and many female cousins, so there is no denying that my knowledge of boys and what to expect when you’re raising one is lacking. One of the most challenging decisions that I have had to make, as a mom of a boy, was whether to make the cut –circumcision. I am all about creating community and have found that when it comes to teething, rashes, and fevers, you will find an abundance of moms sharing their stories and experiences. But when I had to come to terms with circumcising my 10 day old son, there is all the complicated, medical information available but no real-life stories. It puzzles me that in this day and age, we still hide over a trivial word like “penis” and “vagina”. There is a list of reasons why circumcision is considered, they range from religion, cultural beliefs and hygiene. Some articles suggest that daddy and baby should look the same to avoid confusion, in the nearby inquisitive years. My husband’s argument was that he’d feel more comfortable having it done, as he wouldn’t even know where to begin when it came to cleaning an un-circumcised penis, that he worried about our son being confused in locker rooms or worse, teased. I suggested that we wait until he was older but after speaking with an adult, who was forced to have it done in his adulthood, he mentioned how painful it was and how much more complicated the procedure could become. You are probably wondering why I would be discussing circumcision with other men, but I wanted to know, is this as important as my husband was making it out to be. Turns out, it is! There are several emotions that I experienced going through this process. I was filled with anxiety that tethered to the insides of my stomach. I couldn’t quite picture handing my son over to someone, who’s intention was to take a blade to his penis. I set to Google who didn’t soften the punch when explaining the procedure. Anger settled in, when I tried discussing my concerns with my husband who wouldn’t hear the other end of it. I was so livid that he was all for handing over my baby, it just made no sense that he could be okay with this! Sadness was closely followed by acceptance when I realized that this is happening, that the following day, I would walk into a hospital where I would pass my son over to a stranger, who I would need to trust. On the day, I was greeted by very friendly nurses who took my son from me, they undressed him and put a numbing cream on him. The doctor took time in explaining what would happen in each step of the procedure. He didn’t laugh at my insecurities when I asked him how many circumcisions he had done, or would my son really be grateful in the future? After everything was explained, I signed the documentation and went for coffee, while we waited for the cream and Ponado to settle in. We went back, handed Axl over and left the room. He encouraged that we go for coffee and return in 20 minutes. We did so. I expected to return to an upset baby who would just want boob and the comfort of his mom’s arms, but instead, I returned to a sleeping baby being cradled by a nurse. The doctor explained that there would be blood in his next nappy change, and that there would be a yellow bandage that should stay on for a few days but that he’d see us in a week, and if it still hadn’t fallen off, he’d remove it. We weren’t to bath him, but needed to keep him clean. I had complete heart failure for the first nappy change. The sight of blood coming from my baby was all too much, and surely something had to be wrong!? The doctor had given me his private cell number, but I felt pretty lame calling him – as it is, I had quizzed him with a half dozen unmentionable questions, that still make my cheeks flush. On day 6, his bandage came off and even though the doctor had told me to expect it. I called my husband in panic, explaining that his penis looked “weird” and pinkish. It was expected that it would be pinkish, but I didn’t really know what to expect it to look like. Remember, I was brought up with girls! We put Vaseline on, after every nappy change, to stop the nappy from sticking, and continued for about 2 weeks after the procedure, to ensure everything was healed. I remember for our 1 week check-up, the doctor said my son has such a good looking penis. I mean, what is that even? What makes a penis good looking, doctor? Remember the emotional rollercoaster that I mentioned, earlier? Turns out that it continues. I am both humoured by my journey and how I reacted, but more so, grateful! I am glad that my husband asked for our son to be circumcised, and I am sure my son will be too. At the end of the day, it is done and will never be a concern in the future whether he is being clean about his habits, or whether he has infections that can lead to more serious issues. I wish that more moms would share their stories, to help comfort and support other moms. Circumcision is a big decision to make, especially when you’re sleep-deprived and new to motherhood, with very little knowledge on the male anatomy. It is scary that you only have 8-14 days after birth, to make that

Maz -Caffeine and Fairydust

My Issues With Maternity Leave In South Africa

I have one month left at work until I have to go on maternity leave, I say have to because apparently I do not have a choice in the matter. Let me explain – like most of the companies in the fashion industry the company I work for has a shut-down period from 19 December 2014 until about 14 January 2015 in which we all have to take our annual leave that we have built up throughout the year, my plan was to work up until the last day when we would all break up (I would be 38 weeks pregnant). To me this meant more time with my baby after birth. I was however informed that, by law, I have to go on maternity leave at 36 weeks, that’s an entire month before my due date and means that I have only three months maternity leave left after my baby is born. The maternity leave issue has been bugging me for a while now. According to the Basic Employment Act, mothers are entitled to four consecutive months of maternity leave – first off, even if your maternity leave only kicks in after the birth of your baby, four months is not nearly enough time to bond with a newborn. Secondly, I am one of the many unlucky women who will not be receiving a salary from my company during this time. Luckily our baby was planned and we have been fortunate enough to make provisions, but it is still going to be a major financial setback for us. Many women cannot afford to not receive a salary for that amount of time and are thus forced to go back to work earlier. You can claim from UIF, but the amount you receive is nothing short of a joke… at least it is better than nothing I suppose. I have asked the opinions of a couple of South Africans through various social media network platforms as well as forums – most of the feedback is pretty much on par with how I feel, but some of the comments just blew my  mind. According to Economist Dawie Roodt – longer maternity leave is not an option for South Africa. “The current duration is far too much already. When the politicians start to force the employer to keep a position open for a longer period for an employee, they are essentially penalizing and taxing the employer,” –  I wonder if Mr Roodt has children, or how long his wife took maternity leave (if she works at all). He then went on to make the following statement – “When UIF is being paid out for a longer period, it means someone else is paying for you to be on maternity leave.” Okay, I understand, but I am paying for someone in Pollsmoore Prison to receive a meal and a bed every night for killing/raping/murdering/stealing or whatever. I am also paying for my president to build lavish homes(Nklandla) and for his wives to go on insane designer shopping sprees. I am paying towards a government that is crumbling and that has become a source of comic relief to us. Surely, paying me UIF is a small price to pay compared to all the money we fork out that seems to disappear into thin air. A senior policy consultant at the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Pietman Roos, said if maternity leave was extended, employing women would be seen as a risk to companies. “It’s a cost factor. It would ultimately affect the chances of getting a job for all women,” he said. I’m sorry, does that not constitute as discrimination?? Why are we being punished for having babies? Many women referred to the Pick n Pay model which allows eleven months of maternity leave, nine of which are paid. The retailer gives fathers eight days’ paternity leave, even though labour legislation does not make specific allowance for leave for new fathers. If the mother and father both work at Pick n Pay, they can share the maternity leave. That is amazing – why did I not go work for them?? Makro is not far behind, offering employers nine months paid maternity leave. South Africa abides by the ILO Convention 183, which states that a woman is entitled to maternity leave of no less than 14 weeks, but the country has not taken up a recommendation to extend maternity leave to at least 18 weeks. Sweden is the most generous when it comes to parental leave – mothers and fathers can share 16 months at home with their baby. At least we are not in Tunisia, which offers the shortest maternity leave of just one month. In short: Issue #1: Four Months Is Not Enough Time Four months is not nearly enough time with your new baby, and it is definitely not enough time for your body to heal. It took about 2-years for my body to get back to normal after I had our daughter – I am not at all saying we need two years maternity leave, but you can imagine how much strain it will put on your body going back to work after just three/four months. Most moms suggested that six months would be sufficient time for them while others brought up the models of Canada and Sweden which allows parents to take up to a year maternity leave to be split between parents as they see fit. You also get those superhuman beings like Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo who went back to work only two weeks after giving birth to her first child, but I am not going to give my personal opinion on that one. I feel like after four months you are just getting used to being a mom, and then you have to leave your baby and go to work… it is quite cruel. Needless to say, this becomes more tricky if you have a premature baby or if your baby is seriously ill.  Issue #2: Breast Is Best? Our country goes above and beyond to promote breastfeeding for as long as possible and mothers are shamed and looked down upon for turning

Good Night Baby

The Dummy Mummy

So is a pacifier good or bad? My answer to this is it depends. Let’s start with the good…. Dummies have the wonderful ability to help trigger the sucking reflex in children and can also (according to Dr. Harvey Karb) help them access their calming reflex. It also gives breastfeeding mothers a wonderful rest from their children who seem to constantly want to suck on their tired and worn out breasts for comfort. “Contrary to popular belief, there are some positive effects that result from sucking on pacifiers,” says Jane Soxman, DDS, author of a pacifier study and Diplomate of the American Board of Paediatric Dentistry. “One, is that they assist in reducing the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Babies who are offered a pacifier do not sleep as deeply as those who sleep without a pacifier. Pacifier sucking makes it possible for the infant to be aroused from a deep sleep that could result in the stopping of breathing. Pacifiers also increase sucking satisfaction and provide a source of comfort to infants.” (Read more about this here) Now the bad…. The problem is that dummies are so very often overused by parents. Instead of the dummy becoming a “last resort” type of tool, moms use it for EVERYTHING. Baby says ah: dummy; baby says ooh: dummy; baby doesn’t say ANYTHING: dummy. If a parent continues to offer a baby or child a dummy without first establishing why the baby is crying, it can also cause a parent to misread a hunger cue or to fail to recognise his/her child’s needs at all. The World Health Organisation (WHO) does not recommend the use of dummies in breastfeeding infants (Australian National Breastfeeding Strategy 2010-2015) as research has found a relation between dummy use and babies not being breastfed for as long as those who were not introduced to a dummy. And unfortunately, the ugly…. When it comes to sleep, we have worked with a countless cases where a dummy has become a child’s sleep crutch or prop. The problem is that when a child transitions between sleep cycles at night, he/she would want the same “environment” as when they initially fell asleep. If a baby fell asleep with his/her dummy in the mouth and it has fallen out during the night, the baby wakes up mom or dad to help find it and put it back. The result is that parents are on dummy drill, and babies do not receive restorative and consolidated sleep. The following can also occur with the overuse of the dummy: Prolonged pacifier use and thumb sucking can cause problems with the proper growth of the mouth, alignment of the teeth and changes in the shape of the roof of the mouth. There is also an association between pacifier use and acute middle ear infections (Read more here). When used past the age of 12 months, dummies have been linked to speech problems in some children who may not have enough opportunity to babble and enunciate when younger and who talk with their dummies in their mouth as they get older. Using a dummy affects the development and indentations in the palate. Please remember: safety first: If you are going to use a dummy, use it correctly: The pacifier should be used when placing the infant down for sleep and not be reinserted once the infant falls asleep. Pacifiers should not be coated in any sweet solution. Pacifiers should be cleaned often and replaced regularly. For breastfed infants, delay pacifier introduction until 1 month of age to ensure that breastfeeding is firmly established. Pacifiers should never be used to replace or delay meals and should be offered only when the caregiver is certain the child is not hungry. Pacifiers should have ventilation holes and a shield wider than the child’s mouth (at least ¼ inches in diameter). Pacifiers should be one piece and made of a durable material, and should be replaced when worn, and never tied by a string to the crib or around a child’s neck or hand (Source). Different schools of thought: The “Teach Him To Get It Himself” Crowd The problem with teaching a child to put the dummy back in his mouth is that it won’t happen until at least 9 months. So you will have interrupted sleep (as well as your child) until your child reaches this age. There are certain groups that say, that even when you do teach your child to put it back in his mouth he is STILL getting interrupted sleep because he is looking for the dummy at night. The “It Helps For Reflux” Crowd Dummies are also known to help if a child has reflux. Some babies with reflux do not have a problem with food refusal; they eat and eat and eat. These babies find nursing to be soothing because each sip of milk washes down some acid from reflux. The problem may be that they continue to nurse long past the time they need to fill their tummies. They nurse to the point that they seem to vomit every time they eat. If this description fits your baby, pacifier use may be a help. If the pacifier is given when the baby is not nursing for food (sucking slowly and less frequently, with minimal swallowing), it may be soothing to him and also provide a relief to you. The careful use of a pacifier may help your baby keep from overfilling his tummy and subsequently vomiting (Source). Sucking on a pacifier can increase saliva production, which as an alkaline that helps neutralize some of the acid that may come up. To read more about pacifier use for children with Reflux click here. The “I Don’t Want My Child To Suck His Thumb” Crowd For babies, sucking on thumbs and fingers is a natural and intuitive process. Celebrate that they have the ability to self soothe and that they will be better sleepers as a result. Some parents have reported that

Parenting Hub

Spit, snot and poo. Overcoming your fears

Let’s be honest. All babies do it and we knew for a fact that as dads we would have to deal with it sooner or later. And if you were anything like me, the mere thought of having to deal with any of these would have sent me running for the nearest hazmat suit to keep me protected. But once you actually hold the little bundle of joy in your hands, you come to the realisation that there is not a thing in this world that you would not do for your baby. And that’s when you man up and handle anything that gets thrown at you. Or leaks out. Or maybe even projectile vomited at you. So why is it that the things that some of us fear the most from babies are the things that are natural for them? Maybe if we knew a more, we would fear less. The never ending fountain of spit. This wondrous wonder comes in two different forms and from two different places. Clear saliva (drool) comes from the mouth while spit (whitish in colour and usually happens during or after feeding) comes from the tummy. Excessive drool usually is a sign of teething i.e. teeth pushing up through the gum. Drool also helps babies develop and grow. The drool they swallow helps neutralise stomach acid, lines and soothes the oesophageal lining and helps digest solid food. Spitting up (or vomit) is usually a result of GER or gastroesophageal reflux. This happens because the muscles at the bottom of oesophagus which lets food into the stomach is weak and allows food to escape back up. Whichever one it is, always have spare sets of clothing nearby, a burp cloth and about a million bibs because you are going to be changing these all the time. Is it clear or green? The snot question. If your toddler has clear stuff coming out of their nose, everything should be fine and this could point to newborn congestion (all the gunk is just working its way out), allergies, exposed to the cold or smoke. If the discharge is greenish or yellowish, your little one could have a cold or the flu. Bleeding from the nose, unpleasant smelling gunk (no idea why I said “unpleasant” because that would imply you get “pleasant” smelling gunk) and pain could mean that your baby has managed to find something small and stashed it in a secret hiding place for later. It may be tricky to stop the flow, but knowing what’s causing it may help you in treating it. Various items such as nasal aspirators, rubber bulb syringes and saline solution may ease the congestion. I even read of one mum who placed her mouth over the baby’s nose and just sucked it out! And like everything else, if you are not sure or concerned, seek professional advice. The truth about baby poop. “Where’s does it all come from? She just pooped a minute ago! She pooped again WHILE I was changing her nappy! I don’t remember him eating that!” These are questions that all parents go through. Each baby is different and therefore all bodily functions will be different. While most babies poo everyday, it is also acceptable for babies to poo every three days. Babies who are fed on formula, poo less often than breast fed babies. The first few poos after baby is born are always almost black and sticky (called the meconium and sometimes require an entire packet of wet wipes to clean). The poo than becomes greenish brown and turns to bright mustard colour afterwards. Examining your babies nappy, and trust me you eventually will with a fine tooth comb, provides a wealth of information about their state of health. Overly runny stools may indicate diarrhoea and pellet like stools may indicate constipation. Red, black and white stools require an immediate consultation with you doctor as red poo usually contains blood in it, black poo usually contains digested blood and white poo indicates a problem with bile production. My suggestions for handling poo is DO NOT take a deep breath and just deal with it. Within a few weeks you will be an expert on diaper changing and even have a routine you will follow. I was a bit OCD about diaper changes and would lay out everything beforehand (wet wipes, cotton swabs, nappies, bum cream and plastic bag for the dirty nappy) like I was preparing an operating theatre. The last thing you would want is a case of explosive diarrhoea (oh yes, that is a real thing!) and only to find it is the last wet wipe in the packet. So… spit, snot and poo. Every parent eventually gets over their fears and deals with it. The person who may have once started off armed with a gas mask and a pair of braai thongs for a diaper change now finds themselves scarily comfortable discussing the colour and consistency of their baby’s poo. Your fears are overcome and anything that leaks, is projectile vomited or has the radioactive smell of a nuclear explosion will be caught with a wet wipe, tissue and in extreme cases even your bare hands. That is the strength of unconditional love and joy.

Parenting Hub

The Benefits Of Breastmilk For A Premature Baby

All babies will benefit tremendously from breastmilk. But, for a premature baby, these benefits are so much more important. No other nourishment can compare to breastmilk and your preemie will need all the nourishment he can get. Your breastmilk is tailor made for your baby and for this specific time. What this means is that the milk that you are producing right now is special ‘preemie milk’ formulated just for your premature baby. Preterm milk contains higher concentrations of fat, energy, protein, calcium, potassium, magnesium, sodium, chloride and iron. It is very different to the milk that a mother of a full term infant would be producing, No other milk can come close to what you are making and as your baby grows and develops, so your milk will change and develop too. Even though your baby may have come a little early, your body can and will continue to nurture and nourish him every step of the way. Whats in it? Immunoglobulins: Immunoglobulins are large protein molecules produced in the lymph tissue, these function as antibodies in the immune system. During the last trimester of pregnancy, immunoglobulins cross over the placenta and are stored by your baby. These are then used to protect a newborn against infections for up to 6 months following birth. Now while your prem baby may not benefit from this in utero, you can still provide him with immunoglobulins through breastmilk. Since premature babies are more susceptible to infections and disease, this is a very important benefit. Protein: Protein is vitally important for growth and development in your baby. Babies need protein in order to maintain, repair and make new cells. There are two types of proteins present in breastmilk – Casein (20-40%) and Whey (60-80%).  The remarkable balance of these proteins is what makes breastmilk so easy to digest. This means that your baby is using less energy for digestion and is therefore able to use more energy for growth. Fat:Fat is an absolute necessity for your baby. Fats aid in brain development, absorption of fat-soluble vitamins and this is of course your baby’s primary source of calories. Long chain fatty acids are crucial for brain, retina and development of the nervous system. Carbohydrates:Lactose is the primary source of carbohydrate in human milk. Many make the mistake of assuming lactose is bad for the human body, when it is actually very important – especially for your preemie. Lactose helps to minimise the amount of unhealthy bacteria in the stomach which in turn improves the absorption of minerals such as calcium and magnesium. Lactose will also promote growth of healthy bacteria in your baby’s gut. Minerals: Sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, iron and zinc (to mention a few) are all present in breastmilk, the amazing thing is that breastmilk also contains facilitators for each of these minerals making absorption of minerals that much more efficient. Calcium: Builds strong bones, promotes healthy nerve and muscle function, helps blood clot, and helps the body convert food into energy. Iron: Important for healthy brain, cognitive and neurological development. Iron is also a key component of haemoglobin, a protein which helps red blood cells deliver oxygen from the lungs to tissues throughout the body. Magnesium:Keeps bones strong and the heart rhythm steady, supports the immune system, and helps maintain muscle and nerve function. Potassium: Works with sodium to control the body’s water balance, which helps maintain blood pressure. Assists with muscle function and heart rhythm and, in later years, may reduce the risk of kidney stones and osteoporosis. Zinc:Needed by more than 70 enzymes that aid digestion and metabolism, and essential for growth. In summary, breast milk is hugely beneficial for your preterm baby because of its unique protein structure, its ability to promote fat absorption, and its pattern of fatty acids that promote growth and development both physically and neurologically. Unlike any other milk. Some may argue that growth is slower for babies who are fed breastmilk than those who are fed artificial milk, however,  this growth rate is generally extremely close to the rate that a child would continue to grow in utero. Now, while you are focusing on giving your baby the best of the best, you may not realise that you are doing exactly the same thing for yourself. Psychologically, moms who provide breastmilk for their babies feel more connected to them, bond better with them and feel more fulfilled in their role as a mother. You may not be unable to hold or even touch your baby for the time being, but you are still able to feed him. You are still able to provide him with the best possible nutrition, you are able to manufacture food for your child that no other human on earth can replicate. In this way, you are able to bond with your baby, in this way you are able to touch him and impact his life, in this way you are able to give him everything that he needs in this very moment. You are his mom and you are doing a fantastic job!

Good Night Baby

The Curse Of The Short Nap

I honestly do not know why we always tell moms: “Sleep when your baby sleeps”. I remember when my son was little; when he eventually fell asleep, that gave me enough time to race to the toilet, and hurriedly gulp down a cup of tea! I would mission off to my bedroom to “sleep because my baby is sleeping”, but it would take me ages to fall asleep, and then, when I finally managed to drift into a sweet slumber… he would wake up. All of this turmoil in only 45 minutes, only to start the cycle again!?!?! Sound familiar? Why is the 45 minute cycle the hallmark of a newborn’s sleep? 45 minutes is the sleep cycle for a newborn. Adults typically have a longer sleep cycle, stretching for approximately 90 minutes. At the end of each sleep cycle, a baby is in a very light sleep state and may even momentarily wake up before entering into a new cycle. This light sleep is where most of the problems arise. Interestingly enough, babies spend more time in REM sleep than adults – read more about it here. But what can we do to help our children sleep for longer? In order to encourage a longer nap you need to first ask yourself a very important question: Did my baby fall asleep in the same place she ended up? Most of the time the answer to this question is “no”. She fell asleep in my arms, and then I moved her to the crib. The tricky thing about this is that people don’t usually like to wake up somewhere different from the place they fell asleep. On some level our bodies know or sense the difference, therefore we wake up with a start, and this is often why babies cry! Here are a few tips for helping your child sleep longer: Make sure your baby is in the same place when she falls asleep as she is when she wakes up. This will help prevent her startle reflex, and ease the transition from one sleep cycle to the next. Let your baby is do most of the work of getting to sleep in the first place on her own. If you always feed her to sleep, then again, you can see why she may not like it when she gets to the end of the sleep cycle and there is no bottle or breast nearby. This will also cause a baby to wake up startled and then start crying. Play around with your baby’s awake time. Every baby has a window of opportunity for successful sleep. This means it’s a time when your child is already tired enough to be put down, but not overtired. Don’t forget that it is possible to put a baby down too early, which will mean that they won’t take a proper nap. If you have taken steps to encourage your baby to sleep soothe, and she is falling asleep in her crib, then congratulations because most of the battle has already been won. The good news is that with time and practice, he will have a much easier time getting from one sleep cycle to the next, and should start to sleep longer and longer for each nap over the course of two to three weeks.

Good Night Baby

True Or False: You Cannot Breastfeed and Sleep well?

A big resounding FALSE! I recently spoke to 11 beautiful women about teaching their children how to sleep well and I was astounded by how many of them believed that they could not teach their children how to sleep well if they had chosen to breastfeed. Breastfeeding and Good Sleep are not mutually exclusive. You can be successful at both! Breastfeeding and Sleeping: A fresh perspective: You can breastfeed and teach your children good sleeping habits as well. Breastfeeding your baby to sleep ALL the time will make your baby rely on feeding to fall sleep, resulting in them waking up more frequently at night. A baby might be able to drop night feeds (healthily) from as early as between 10 and 12 weeks. Even if you breastfeed, it is advisable that you do not co-sleep with your baby as it increases your baby’s risk of SIDS. Breastfeeding in public is one of the most controversial subjects in our society: Recently Facebook has come under fire for removing photos of mothers’ breastfeeding their children, citing offensive content in violation of the Facebook Terms of Service. Facebook claimed that these photos violated their decency code by showing an exposed breast, even when the baby covered the nipple. This action was described as hypocritical, since Facebook took several days to respond to calls to deactivate a paid advertisement for a dating service that used a photo of a topless model. Dads can make or break breastfeeding: Studies show that the more supportive partners are, the longer the mother is likely to continue. Supplementing or TOP-UP feeding will not make your baby sleep better (insert gasp here!). The amount of lactose in breast milk is not affected by the mother’s diet. This means the mother cannot influence the amount of lactose in her milk by reducing or eliminating dairy foods When it comes to sleep, nutrition plays a vital role in your child’s sleep habits. It isimperative to provide adequate feeding to your baby.  

Meg Faure

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS AND RISKS OF CO-SLEEPING

Parenting is fraught with tough, controversial decisions. What makes the decisions tough is that there are such varied opinions and every ‘expert’, mum and family member seems to have a very firm opinion on how you should raise your baby. Without question, one of the most highly charged discussions revolves around co-sleeping. Should you? Should you? These are questions you will be asking yourself. The benefits of co-sleeping There is evidence that babies who co-sleep breastfeed for longer than babies who don’t. This is probably due to the fact that these babies have more free access to their mum’s breast for night feeds. Sleep researcher, James McKenna believes that babies who co-sleep have better immunity, possibly due to the benefits from breastfeeding. Of course there is above all the convenience of sleeping with your small baby. Instead of getting up to check on your little one or to feed her, you can simply roll over to check on or feed her. Some research indicates that children who share sleep spaces with their parents experience emotional benefits such as security, emotional stability and are in the long run more likely to be well-adjusted. The risks of co-sleeping In recent years, co-sleeping has become recognised as a risk factor for cot death or SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). The American Association of Paediatrics recommends that parents do not co-sleep at all. An enormous amount of recent research points towards the risks of co-sleeping. Most of this research highlights where you co-sleep and the parent’s state whilst sleeping. Falling asleep on a sofa is very risky for the baby and has been conclusively linked to cot death. Likewise a parent who has had even one glass of wine or a painkiller should not co-sleep with their baby as suffocation is much more likely when a parent sleeps deeply while co-sleeping. Even removing these confounding factors, co-sleeping in a bed with your baby under 6 months of age does increase the risk of cot death (SIDS). The question is whether the risks outweigh the benefits and this is where the discussion on co-sleeping takes place. Co-sleeping safely If you are choosing to co-sleep, you can do so safely and be confident in deciding to do so, if you take the following into consideration: Your baby must sleep on her back. Do not have a pillow near your baby. Do not cover your baby with your duvet, or use an electric blanket or hot water bottle. Place your baby on the outside of the bed next to you, not between you and your partner. Have a sleep nest that creates a space for your baby in your bed. Do not co-sleep if your baby is exposed to cigarette smoke during the day. Do not drink alcohol or take any form of pain medication before bedtime. Managing co-sleeping with your newborn and young baby Co-sleeping with your newborn may feel like the most natural way to sleep. You can feed on demand through the night and don’t have to get up to feed or check on your little one. If you are on pain medication do not co-sleep with your newborn. The risk of suffocating your baby, rolling on her or increasing her body temperature with your body heat or blankets is increased. Making changes The safest place for your newborn to sleep is in a crib next to your bed or in a co-sleeper cot. At this age, your baby will find the transition to sleep in her own space easy. Moving your baby from your bed to her own sleep space becomes increasingly difficult after 6 months of age due to habits and expectations. Co-sleeping and toddlers While toddlers should sleep in their own space, strangely enough this is the time in which co-sleeping is most common. Making changes Since habits will become firmly entrenched at this age, now is the time to make the move. It is preferable to make the move to her own room before your baby is two years old, that is while your little one is still in a cot. Once in a bed, boundaries need to be instilled which raises another whole set of issues. If you need to in-still bed space boundaries, be firm and consistent. If you find the battle is too great, you can move to a halfway space – where your toddler has a sleep space next to your bed – a mattress on the floor is fine. At the end of the day, regardless of your baby’s age, you will need to make a call that you are comfortable with regarding sleep space and co-sleeping. Like all other parenting decisions – it’s a tough one and really there is no right or wrong – there’s what you do and don’t do.

Good Night Baby

Interesting Information About Your Infant

I was recently in the United States for 10 days to attend a Sleep Sense Conference. The content was phenomenal and REALLY has rekindled my passion for providing children and parents in South Africa the gift of a Good Night’s Sleep. However, I think what struck me even more than the content was how much I missed my beautiful dirty-handed, Barney-watching, bambino of 20 months. They certainly do possess such a huge part of our hearts, and I was just overcome with the sense of responsibility that a child is in our lives and how much of who we are, is centered on them. I always tell my clients that there is NOTHING I take more seriously than the responsibility of working with your child. I thought I would share some interesting facts I learned during the conference that you might never have heard of: The first three days of a baby’s life determines breastmilk supply going forward It is vital for your new-born baby to be breastfed as much as possible in the first three days, as new studies have proven that this will ensure a constant milk production in the future. It is suggested that parents leave the pacifier or dummy in the drawer for the first few days and try to enjoy the bond with their newborn. Paediatric Chiropracting can solve ear aches, constipation and even stuttering  One of the world’s leading pediatric chiropractors shared amazing testimonies of what chiropractic treatments can achieve for you and your family. Zink might be the reason for your child’s picky eating It has been proven that sufficient amounts of zinc can actually improve and change our taste buds. A leading cause for children being picky eaters is insufficient amounts of zinc. Autistic children rule households An informative session with an Autism specialist explained the importance of being aware of the signs of autism. The earlier it is detected, the more effectively it can be treated with behaviour therapy. Autism also does not need to be the reason for your child to not sleep well. Boys sometimes need more help with sleep Boys’ and girls’ brains develop completely differently and for the sake of brevity, in simple terms girl’s brains develop front-to-back, and boys’ from back-to-front. When the structure of the brain is analysed, suddenly you can understand why boys often need a little more help to be taught how to sleep well.

Parenting Hub

‘White Gold’ – Help Decrease Infant Mortality

In South Africa, one premature infant dies every 20 minutes. In the fight against this unnecessary loss of life, International Breastfeeding Week is calling on mothers to breastfeed their babies and donate breastmilk to help decreasing infant mortality and malnutrition. The South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR), currently the largest human-milk-banking partner of the South African Department of Health, warns that breastfeeding rates in South Africa are dangerously low with only 7,2% of South African women breastfeeding. These low rates result in the loss of the most vulnerable members of our society, including 20,000 babies under 1,8kg and 70,000 babies under 5kg annually. The International Baby Food Action Network (IBFAN) of Africa credits breastfeeding as the single biggest influence on decreasing infant mortality and malnutrition, especially in the least developed countries of Africa. Based on this core belief, SABR is urging mothers to breastfeed their own babies for at least the first six months of their lives, to ensure optimum growth and development. “We believe that breastfeeding, access to mothers-own-milk, donated breastmilk and education are the keys to unlocking infant survival”, says Stasha Jordan, breastfeeding activist and executive director at SABR. “We are calling on all mothers to donate breastmilk at local breastmilk-banks to ensure that the young lives that do not have access to their mothers’ breastmilk get the best chance of a healthy start to life.  Not just during International Breastfeeding Week but on an ongoing basis. Whilst International Breast-feeding Week reminds us of the importance of ‘promoting, protecting and supporting breast-feeding’ we should live every day to ’empower inspire and counsel’ mothers and communities in breastfeeding and ‘baby-friendly’ care for the most vulnerable. Educating mothers living in poverty and with HIV and AIDS about safe infant feeding practices is also a key focus for the SABR, to ultimately avoid vertical transmission (from mother to baby) of HIV and AIDS. “We invite mothers with babies to visit our milk-banks across the country to learn more about home-methods for heat treatment of breastmilk and through this, promote food security in a continent where poverty and malnutrition are rampant,” says Jordan. In the previous financial year, the SABR had 889 donors and supplied breastmilk to 1295 infants, which contributed to saving an average of 5,000 premature infants from infection and mortality associated with lack of breastfeeding, since its inception in 2003. “Health care professionals and mothers are becoming increasingly sensitised to the importance of the use of breastmilk in perinatal care, which is in turn increasing the need for more breastmilk-banks across the country,” says Jordan. In realising the value this ‘white gold’ holds, the SABR, in partnership with the Free State Department of Health, has recently expanded human-milk-banking to a further four provincial hospitals, bringing the countrywide total 44 human-breastmilk-bank facilities. “Despite great success over the past ten years, the lives that need to be saved remain many, says Jordan. “We have a mammoth task ahead of us to turn around infant mortality rates in Africa, therefore we need the support from the breastfeeding community to help drive the change toward higher breastfeeding rates and ultimately lower infant mortality.” In reducing premature infant mortality rates, over-stretched hospitals also save millions of Rands annually, which advances the healthcare of the entire nation over the long run. To get involved and alleviate the challenges faced by the SABR, including low breastfeeding rates in South Africa, sourcing donor mothers when so many women are HIV positive, and funding for the operation of the milk-banks, please visit www.sabr.org.za or call 011 482 1920 or e-mail: info@sabr.org.za. About South African Breastmilk Reserve The South African Breastmilk Reserve (SABR) was founded in 2003 as the first registered human-milk-bank in South Africa. The main objective of the SABR is to facilitate the establishment of human-milk-banks in as many communities as possible, with the aim of providing human milk (and the necessary equipment and funding) to babies in need, particularly babies orphaned as a result of AIDS. Today the SABR supplies in excess of 60 hospitals and is constantly working to gain favour for human milk banking in these hospitals, including: Bloemfontein Universitas, Bloemfontein Pelonomi; Boitumelo Hospital; Bongani Hospital, Dihlabeng Hospital; Edenvale (cnr); Kalafong Hospital; Kimberley Hospital; Manapo Hospital; Netcare Alberlito (cnr); Netcare Blaauwberg; Netcare Cuyler PE; Netcare Femina; Netcare Kuils River (cnr); Netcare Olivedale; Netcare Parklane; Netcare Parklands; Netcare St Augustine’s (cnr); Netcare The Bay; Newcastle Provincial H; Northdale (cnr); Pietermaritzburg H Complex; Potchefstroom Hospital; SABR Head Office; Sandton MediClinic; Tembisa Hospital; Witbank Hospital.

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