Let’s face it, growing up today is a completely different ball game to when you were young. It doesn’t matter if you’re in your late 20s or 30s and coming to grips with parenthood for the first time, or if you’re north of 50 and are a veteran of raising children, the fact remains. Kids today are living in a world wholly different to the one we developed in.
Have you ever gazed upon a giant oak tree? These majestic trees can grow as high as 21m and as wide as 3m! In fact, the tallest oak tree ever recorded was a whopping 44m high! Their branches extend for many metres, shading the earth from the hot sun in Summer and shedding their colourful leaves in the Autumn. It is interesting to note that the grandiose oak tree started life on earth as a tiny seed. The giant tap root system was the first part of the tree to emerge at germination – tiny at first, but continually expanding. It is from this giant tap root system that the magnificent oak tree receives all the water and nutrients that it needs to grow and develop to its full potential!
Helping shape your children’s behaviour and assisting them to be the best version of themselves, is a key part of being a parent. It can be difficult as well as rewarding. Here is some things to consider:
Encountering strangers, seeing a big dog for the first time or starting school are all situations which can induce fearful responses in children. Childhood fears and anxiety are not only normal but they are expected for each developmental age. This is because any perceived “threat” activates a fight-or-flight response in the body, which naturally serves to protect us from any harm or danger. This article looks at common childhood fears for each developmental age and offers tips on how you can help your child manage during those times. Babies and infants (0-2 years old) Newborn babies and infants tend to prefer their primary caregivers over unfamiliar faces and voices. Children in this age group tend to often experience stranger and separation anxiety—they shy away from people who they do not know and may even show fear towards them. You can help your child deal with this by: Comforting and soothing them to show them that they are safe in that moment. Helping them get to know the person while you are there (this will take some time). Teaching them that separation from you is temporary (peek-a-boo is a great example). Saying goodbye to your child instead of getting away when they are distracted— this can lead to mistrust. Toddlers and pre-schoolers (3-6 years old) Children this age have developed a very active imagination and create different scenarios all the time in their busy little minds. They also may show signs of separation anxiety (“What happens to my mommy when she’s not with me?”) and refuse to be alone or sleep alone. Toddlers also worry about the dark, bad dreams, monsters and ghosts, loud noises, bad guys and bugs or animals. Children this age also struggle when there are sudden and disruptive changes to their routine. You can help your child cope by: Listening to what they are scared of and helping them put their fear into words or through drawing. Helping your child face their fears (e.g., shop for a nightlight together or make a bottle of “monster spray”). Reassuring your child of real-life facts (e.g., there are policemen who protect us from bad guys). Positively reinforcing the bravery that they manage to show. Middle childhood (6-9 years old) School-going children often worry about this new experience—“What will it be like?”. For the first time they are put into a situation where they will have to navigate new experiences without you by their side. They are exposed to the “bigger, real” world and may worry about their teachers, them getting sick or hurt or traumatic situations they hear about. You can help your child cope by: Encouraging your child to talk about what they are thinking or feeling. Playing it out with them or reading stories with themes of risk and fear to normalise their feelings. Watching your child grow is often filled with moments of joy and celebration. Usually parents focus on physical milestones, such as rolling over, crawling and using the potty independently, which are important indicators of development. However, developing these abilities can also come with psycho-social and emotional challenges for children. child development By Reabetsoe Buys 44 Showing your child that they have the capacity to cope (by using examples of when they have shown this). Reassuring them to talk to a teacher if anything bothers them while they are at school. Pre-teens (10-12 years old) While children this age have pretty much figured out that monsters aren’t real, they tend to worry about things which can happen in real life. This includes being in danger, being caught in natural disasters or something bad happening to their parents. They may also worry about their school performance, fitting in with friends and their physical appearance. You can help your child cope by: Gathering facts with them—they love to learn! (e.g., the prevalence of natural disasters in the area you live). Helping them prepare for school-related things such as tests, presentations and performances. Being aware of what they are watching and listening to—is it appropriate? What is it exposing them to? Encouraging them to externalise their thoughts and feelings through writing, music or movement. Adolescence (13 years old+) Typically, teenagers become more peer-oriented. Therefore their concerns tend to be around peer perceptions, as well as their relationships with friends and romantic interests. They may also start to worry about “growing up”, global issues, their health and well-being, and their life purpose as an adult. You can help your child cope by: Encouraging them to talk about the challenges they are anticipating. Offering them the space to process their own thoughts and feelings (e.g., through journalling or art). Advising them that if they cannot talk to you about certain things, they should have a healthy network of people who they can talk to. Reinforcing positive behaviour, no matter how small. While some of these moments may feel challenging and overwhelming for you as a parent, remember that being consistent and open is what will allow your child to better manage with their own thoughts and feelings. They need to feel safe enough to feel what they need to feel without having to worry about upsetting you or anyone else. If your child’s worries increase in intensity, seem out of proportion to the situation or start to significantly interfere with their habits and functioning, it may help to consult with a professional who can offer guidance and support
Teaching kids some basic financial principles should ideally form part of their upbringing. Short-term insurance is key among them, since it provides an important safety net that helps to secure your long-term well-being. It can be difficult to give up something when you do not see an immediate benefit, making short-term insurance (and most financial-must haves, for that matter) a difficult sell. But getting kids to understand it (particularly the patience it takes to stay covered), is a lesson worth learning. Here are some tips.
Every 3 days a child is treated for serious dog bites. In 2020, 107 children were treated for dog bites and these children were between the ages of 5 and 12 years. During this month of April ChildSafe is encouraging all parents and dog owners to be aware of the risks involved with dog bites and to learn about ways they can protect children and their families from dog bite incidents. “Dog bites often happen during everyday activities among children and seniors,” says Yolande Baker, Executive Director, ChildSafe. “Certain situations can be more conducive to the risk of a dog bite. Protect your family and yourself by being familiar with preventive measures that will minimize the risk of a dog bite.” How can you protect your family Be cautious around strange dogs. Treat your own dog with respect. Because children are the most common victims of dog bites, parents and caregivers should: NEVER leave a baby or small child alone with a dog. Be alert for potentially dangerous situations. Teach children – including toddlers – to be careful around pets. Children must learn not to approach strange dogs or try to pet dogs through fences. Teach children to ask permission from the dog’s owner before petting the dog. What’s a dog owner to do? Carefully select your pet. Puppies should not be obtained on impulse. Make sure your pet is socialized as a young puppy, so it feels at ease around people and other animals. Do not put your dog in a position where it feels threatened or teased. Be calm. Always talk in a quiet voice or whisper, no shouting. Train your dog. Basic commands help dogs understand what is expected of them and help build a bond of trust between pets and people. Walk and exercise your dog regularly to keep it healthy and provide mental stimulation. Avoid highly excitable games like wrestling or tug of war. Use a leash in public to ensure you can control your dog. Keep your dog healthy. Have your dog vaccinated against rabies and other preventable infectious diseases. Parasite control and other health care are important because how your dog feels affect how it behaves. If you have a fenced yard, make sure your gates are secure. Neuter your pet. Approximately 92% of fatal dog attacks involved male dogs, 94 percent of which were not neutered. Dog bite emergencies If you are bitten, here is a checklist of things you should do: If the dog’s owner is present, request proof of rabies vaccination, and get the owner’s name and contact information. Clean the bite wound with soap and water as soon as possible. Consult your doctor immediately or go to the emergency room if it is after office hours. Contact the dog’s veterinarian to check vaccination records. For more information on prevention of dog bites, call ChildSafe at 021 685 5208 or please visit www.childsafe.org.za
Learning to count from one to ten, and later to a hundred, is an important milestone in early math development. However, it is equally important for young children to learn to understand the “how many-ness” or the value that every number represents. Teachers and therapists refer to this important school readiness skill as number concept. Grade R’s typically count to a hundred, but few truly understand the quantities that different numbers describe. In other words, many children freeze when you ask: “If you have six balls and your friend has eight balls, who has more?” Children who don’t understand the value of numbers will naturally not be able to conjure up a mental image of two sets of objects (in this case, a set of six balls and a set of eight balls) and then compare the sets against each other to determine which one of the two is bigger or smaller. And, as a result, they won’t be able to add and subtract with understanding. It’s important to play games with your child on three levels if you want him to develop a clear understanding of the value of different numbers. Firstly, use body movements to demonstrate numbers. Secondly, provide many opportunities for him to use his hands to handle and count off certain numbers of objects. And thirdly, make sure to include games that encourage your child to visualize different numbers of objects in his mind’s eye. You can, for instance, teach a three-year old to do the following: To include body movements, ask him to move (e.g. clap, jump or twirl) one, two or three times. To incorporate the handling of objects using his hands, you can ask him to hand you one, two or three of something whenever the opportunity pops up. To involve the mind’s eye, you can place a pile of single Lego blocks, 2-block-towers and 3-block-towers in a bag and then take turns with your child to use your sense of touch to find one of each number without looking. Then arrange your towers from one to three. Games should naturally become more challenging as a child grows older. However, the basic prerequisite for success remains unchanged throughout the first seven years: the more concrete (hands-on and tangible) the experience, the easier it is to learn. Children progress from concrete functioning to abstract reasoning as they enter primary school. Children function on a concrete level up to Grade R (where they still need to touch and handle tangible objects to discover and understand ideas about those objects) before moving on to being able to fully grasp unseen ideas on an abstract level in Grade 1. Most importantly, they need time and playful practice or else they won’t grow into being comfortable in the world of representations and symbols. It’s crucial for every Grade R learner to reach the point (by the end of the year) where he or she is able to picture an image in the mind’s eye of a number line. After throwing two dice, he should be able to name the number shown on any one of them at first glance (without counting), before shifting his attention to the second dice to “count on”. In other words, if the dice landed on three and four, he could look at one and say, three”, before pointing to each of the dots on the second dice as he counts on: “four – five – six – seven … it’s seven!” (Alternatively, he could choose to start with four, and then continue with “five – six – seven” on the second dice.) He should be able to arrange the numbers 1 to 10 in order, with each of them in its proper place, based on the value that it represents. When you point to any number from 1 to 9 on the number line, he should be able to name the number that is “one bigger” or “one smaller”. As he enters Grade 1, he can learn to do this without looking. What can I expect from my child at every age along the way? Toddlers discover the meaning of “one and many” during the second year of life. Two-year olds usually learn to rote count to three and you can teach them to hand you either one or two toys. Three-year olds can be expected to count to five and they understand the concepts of one, two and three well enough to be able to hand you that many of an object. Well-developing four-year olds can be expected to rote count to 10 and count off any number of objects from 1 to 5. Most five-year olds can count to 20 and have a real understanding of numbers up to 10. Finally, a six-year old should be able to count to 100 (also in tens), count off any number of objects between 1 and 20 and arrange the numbers from 1 to 10 in order to build a number line. Learning to work with numbers is much like learning to speak a special kind of language. Learning the language of mathematics is largely about getting better at understanding the properties of numbers and recognizing relationships and patterns ever more quickly. Naturally, acquiring these skills takes time simply because learning a new language always involves building new brain wiring. Ultimately, you want your child to reach a point where navigating around in the world of numbers will become second nature to him – like a golfer’s swing. Any kind of math play is better than none, but if you want your child to benefit optimally, you’ll need to play as many age-appropriate games as possible at home from toddler stage, and repeat them often. This article is written by: The Practica Programme is a comprehensive research- and play-based home programme. This unique system has stood the test of time since 1993, and it comprises of a wooden box with specialized apparatus, parents’ guides, an advisory service and educational newsletters. From birth to 23 months of age, parents choose from a balanced selection of more than 1000 activities to develop the 14 fundamental skills age-appropriately. For children between 2 and 7 years, the 50 school readiness skills are divided into 6 groups and tackled systematically, year by year, with 10- to 20-minute games that can be adapted to a child’s level of functioning.
Children read a lot more than you may think. Every subject your child studies in school requires reading comprehension and retention. Whether it is math, history or science, reading retention is critical to success. Here are some ways you can help your child grow and develop solid reading-retention skills. Start Early Remember, a child’s listening skills are years ahead of their reading skills. Beginning readers can still practice comprehension and retention skills. An easy way to do this is by inserting an extra step into an already existing nightly routine: bedtime stories. As you read your child a bedtime story, take note of some key story lines or events. When the story is over, you can ask your child, “Do you remember how Sam-I-Am finally got his friend to try green eggs and ham? Did he try them in a house? Did he try them with a mouse?” Even though your child is not reading for retention at this level, he or she is still learning to comprehend and retain ideas. Practice and Improve Like any skill, reading comprehension and retention require practice. Board games offer an opportunity for children to read instructions and rules that test their retention skills in a fun way. Try to find a game that your family has never played. Read the rules first to understand how the game works. After you grasp the rules, ask your children to read them. When they’re finished, ask them to explain the rules to you before you begin. For families with more than one child, this exercise can provide a unique perspective on how each child understands what he or she has read. One child may see the game in one light, while another will view the rules completely differently. Listening to your child explain the rules will identify comprehension strengths and challenges as you learn the new rules together. After everyone understands the rules, game on! Encourage Self-Correction When your child shows signs of confusion or frustration with a homework assignment, encourage them to reread the material before explaining the problem to you. In the interest of saving time, you may lean toward explaining the problem yourself. While this may be easier, letting your child self-correct builds their problem-solving skills. Guide your young child toward understanding the problem independently. After conquering the problem on their own, your child will have more self-confidence for the next challenge and greater pride in being able to tackle the problem independently. Reading is one of the most valuable tools in your child’s academic tool belt. Understanding and retaining the material are just as critical as the skill of reading itself. Encouraging the development of this crucial skill will set the stage for a lifetime of success. The Kumon English Programme is designed to build the critical reading skills that will help your child develop a lifelong love of reading – and a solid foundation for academic success. Building strong reading comprehension from an early age will prepare your child to advance through primary school with confidence and appreciation for learning. When you enrol in the Kumon English Programme, the Kumon Instructor will assess your child’s current reading skills and introduce the appropriate level of Kumon Reading Worksheets. This provides just the right start for building comprehension and writing skills. As each worksheet is completed, you’ll see your child building a stronger vocabulary, a more thorough understanding of the proper use of grammar, and an ability to interpret content. This, together with enjoying books from the Kumon Recommended Reading List, enhances your child’s appreciation for and understanding of the English language and helps to develop a lifelong love for reading. For more information you can visit our website on kumon.co.za This article is from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/develop-your-childs-reading-retention-skills-2/
Young children can be burnt very quickly, and this often happens when an adult is present, so it is important to be alert. An electrical burn happens when a child touches or comes into contact with an electric current. The current passes through the child’s body and can damage organs and tissues. Damage can be mild or severe – and it can even cause death. Last year, the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital alone, treated 880 children for burns, the most common (733 children) was caused by hot liquids (such as hot water, drinks and food). A large number of the cases were treated for electrical burns. During the period between January and February in 2020 there were 5 cases treated for electrical burns. In 2021, this number has doubled to 10 cases. “Recently, we have been seeing far more electrical injuries than usual. This may be related to children spending more time at home due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. These injuries often involve the hands, resulting in severe injuries with permanent loss of function. Care givers need to remain vigilant at all times”, said Gary Dos Passos, Head of Burns Unit, Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital. “Most burn injuries can be avoided. Most of the burns happen in the home, specifically the kitchen. A first step to preventing burns is to make sure that the home environment is safe. Children are not always able to know when something is dangerous, so parents can start by checking every room in the house for possible burn risks to children. Electric shocks from appliances and electrical outlets and cords can burn the skin and cause tissue and nerve damage”, said Yolande Baker, Executive Director of ChildSafe. Electricity can cause different types of skin burns, depending on which skin layers are affected. The terms doctors use to describe different types of burns are: Superficial – A superficial burn affects only the top layer of the skin. The skin is red, dry, and painful. When you press on the burn, it turns white. Partial-thickness – A partial-thickness burn affects the top 2 layers of the skin. The skin is red and can leak fluid or form blisters. Full-thickness – A full-thickness burn affects all the layers of the skin. The burn does not usually hurt, because the burned skin cannot feel anything. The skin can be white, grey, or black. Here are a few safety tips for parents and caregivers to keep all children safe from electrical burns. ALWAYS: Cover unused electrical outlets with safety covers. Unplug electrical cords that are not in use, keeping electrical cords, power plugs and electrical equipment away from children. Keep electrical appliances away from sinks and bathtubs. Turn off electrical equipment that is not being used. Teach children to stay away from electrical sub-stations, electrical wires ate ground level and electrical fencing. NEVER: Overload power points or run electrical wires under carpets. Use unsafe or illegal electrical connections. Allow children to play with power points or electrical equipment. Repair faulty plugs and frayed cords immediately. For more information on injury prevention, call ChildSafe at 021 685 5208 or please visit www.childsafe.org.za
UNICEF South Africa released a study that 70% of children surveyed use the Internet without parental consent. “The Disrupting Harm Study released in 2022 showed that 70% of children surveyed in South Africa use the Internet without parental consent and risky online behaviour can expose them to online violence, exploitation, and abuse. The online world is also increasingly intertwined with everyday life offline.” Having an open relationship with your child’s online behaviour has been identified as a core pillar to protecting them when they go online. As parents, we can monitor their activity, we do have eyes at the back of our heads. We can implement child-friendly browsers on our devices, and we can even set an alarm clock to stop their time online and set boundaries. All of these are great and should be done to protect your child when they go online. Thanks to many hours of global best practice research and 20 years of digital and parenting experience, this program was designed to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is dedicated to educating children to self-regulate, self-recognise, communicate, and educate parents on how to manage this maze of information. The parental guides have been designed in a way that makes it easy to navigate, and we’ve collated global best practices and professional advice, to give parents a concise summary of how to protect their children and keep the conversations going well into their teens. Twenty minutes a week, with your child over 5 weeks, is all it will take. If you don’t have the time Miss Nadie and Codey have dedicated jump in and out supervised online classes every day of the week, to help you out when things get busy. Can you afford not to start the conversations now, while they will still want to listen to you? Register today. https://bit.ly/3njBqid
They say half of the time we function on autopilot whilst 90% of our purchasing decisions are done on autopilot. In other words we are not consciously thinking about what we are doing or why we are doing those things. They have become habitual. For example: Think about when you brush your teeth or your morning routine each day when you wake up. The route you drive to or from home and work each day. Have there been times when you can’t remember how you got to a place or walked into a room and forgot what you were going to do? This is because we are not consciously thinking about our actions and thoughts – we are on autopilot. This happens daily with tasks we perform, the way we interact with others, our reactions, our behaviours, things we hold onto from the past and even some of our beliefs. It has become so ingrained in us over the years that we have not stopped to consider whether those things are still relevant, serve us positively or whether there is possibly something new or different we could consider instead. We lose out on so much as we are unaware of what is going on around us. We miss the signs and messages – both verbal and non-verbal. A wounded glance, reactive tone of voice, hurt eyes, dejected or closed off body language. We even miss the beauty in everything due to our presence being elsewhere instead of enjoying the moment for what it is – the here and now. Living mindfully present is important to the quality of the lives we live. Being mindful of our own thoughts, actions and behaviours and the impact they have on others around us. Being fully present in the moment and giving others our undivided attention and efforts is a gift. So how do we become more mindful? It’s a daily practice that takes time to master and should be viewed as learning a new skill just the same as learning to read or write. It starts with becoming aware of our own ‘self’ – how we talk to ourselves, the words we use, the language we speak. Often we are our own worst critic and berate ourselves harshly. The more we tell ourselves stories, the stronger they become until they take on a life of their own and become the path we live by. When our self awareness grows, we become aware of our own thoughts and behaviours as well as the impact we are having on others and they are having on us. In other words we are fully present in the moment and aware of what we are doing as well as of what is happening around us. We can sense when we are not being authentic and sincere just as much as we can sense when others are not. Yet often we choose to ignore this. We know when we are being true to ourselves and living our truth vs. compromising our own values and personal boundaries and the consequences that come with this. Some like to mediate, others like to unwind in the mountains or near the sea whilst some like to partake in an activity – each with the purpose of connecting us to ourselves, feeding our soul and feeling alive, like we have a purpose. It does not matter what you do so long as you do it. With a heightened sense of awareness, we are able to be more creative, positive, solution oriented, peace loving and kind for the benefit of all and mankind. Reflection time: Can you think of words or phrases you often use when speaking to or about yourself? Are they positive and uplifting or critical and faultfinding? Can you remember a situation where you may not have been fully present and aware of your actions? If you think back to that time now, can you see the different ways your actions may have been interpreted by others? Would your actions have a positive or negative impact on others? Is there one thing you can start doing differently today to raise your levels of self awareness? Look for the good and positive in everyone and every situation because it is there if you dare to try. The intention we set for ourselves is the intention by which we live and treat others. Make yours a positive and uplifting one.
Many of my clients come to me complaining that their children simply do not do what they’re told, are unmanageable, and are following the ‘wrong’ path in life. What this tells me is a lot about the parent, and very little indeed about the child. We all give away through they way that we speak and the things that we focus on what is important to us. But how often do we stop to find out what is important to someone else, particularly with our children. As much as we have hopes and desires for our kids, they have these for themselves too. What we tend to do is praise and emphasise those things that they love that fit in with our own priorities for them and ignore or ridicule those that are outside of our own value system. In doing so we impose our own set of values and dreams onto our children and then wonder why they eventually rebel and become totally in-compliant. Most parents, if they took the time and care to notice, would find it easy to tell you what is important to their kids, and yet they place very little importance on this themselves. When we stop to respect our children as real, complete human beings as they are, we enter a whole new world of relationship with them. Think about it – you wouldn’t tell your friends what job they should do or who they should be friends with or what they should be eating for dinner, right? Understanding your children’s dreams, goals and priorities instead of ignoring them can actually make your parenting journey much easier. Whatever it is that you want them to do, you simply find a way to link it to what is already important to them. For example if you want your child to bath and their highest priority is to play, then instead of saying “get in the bath now”, say “it’s time to go and play in the bath – which toys would you like to bring?” Or, for example, if you want your child to eat vegetables and their highest priority is dinosaurs, then call the broccoli “dinosaur trees” or talk about which dinosaurs would have eaten each part of the meal that is currently on their plate. If you want your soccer star to focus more on maths, point out how by learning maths he will have an advantage over the other players by understanding how to score goals by focusing on the angle between himself, the ball and the net. It may take a bit of time and practice, but I guarantee that linking what your child loves to everything they need to do makes parenting easier in the long run. Children feel heard and understood and they see that you are respecting what is important to them. They see the connections between what you want them to do and what they want for themselves instead of seeing your view as an imposition. I believe that every human being, regardless of their age, should have their values and dreams respected. The sooner that parents and teachers stop imposing their views onto the children in their care and instead link their values to those of the kids, the sooner we’ll find happy children, living their dreams AND complying with their caregivers.
Weighing up the best after-school option for your child “Mothers staying at home with their children is simply no longer the viable option of years past,” says Tiffiny Thomas from Blue Bird Aupairs. As a result, parents are left with the critical decision of what to do with their precious assets in the afternoons – do they send them to aftercare or do they get an aupair? “There is no black and white when it comes to choosing an after-school solution for your child as things like budget, schedules, ages and personality need to be taken into consideration,” explains Tiffiny. She adds that even once you have made your decision, circumstances may change and you may need to seek the alternative which is why it is important to keep an open mind and make sure that you know what the pros and cons of each option are. Aftercare Pros Children get to interact with their friends in an informal surrounding If the aftercare is part of the school, they can take part in extra-mural school sports Food and snacks are generally included in the cost of aftercare If the aftercare is based at their school, your child will not have to travel on the roads without you Aftercare cons Very little (or no) supervised homework which then needs to be done in the evenings when your child is tired and less likely to concentrate Aftercare generally does not cover school holidays A full day at school can leave your child irritable and exhausted No personal, hands-on love and care Pros of an aupair Your child will get plenty of one-on-one love, care and attention An aupair can do homework with your child and spend extra time of subjects they may battle with, doubling up as a tutor Aupairs can transport your child to and from various after-school activities, which is a great help for parents (and children) with busy or unpredictable schedules and extra-mural activities that are off campus An aupair can double up as a baby sitter during the holidays Cons of an aupair It can take time for your child to get to know your aupair Not all aupairs have formal early childhood training You will need to make sure that the fridge is stocked up for afternoon lunches and be prepared to pay for other additional costs like petrol “It is important to remember that no two aftercares (or aupairs!) are the same!” says Tiffiny. She adds that you should ask lots of questions for clarity and also make sure that you align your budget in terms of what you are able/willing to spend on a monthly basis for after-school care. “Both options can be affordable, provided you shop around,” she concludes.
More and more research points towards the importance of sleep for children’s health, academic performance, and behaviour. Although this may seem apparent, many of us actually do not allow our children to get the critical sleep they need to develop and function properly. It’s certainly not something we do on purpose. But with parents working long hours, packed school schedules, after-school activities, and other lifestyle factors, naps are missed, bedtimes are pushed back, mornings start earlier and nights may be anything but peaceful. Missing naps or going to bed a little late may not seem like a big deal, but it all adds up, with consequences that may last a lifetime. “Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm. It recharges your brain’s battery, increasing one’s brainpower and attention span, as well as allowing you to be physically relaxed and mentally alert at the same time. Then and only then can you function at your personal best.” as stated by Paediatrician Marc Weissbluth. Signs of sleep-related problems may show up in a number of ways with kids, including daytime sleepiness, weakened immune systems, inattention, poor concentration, moodiness, behavioural problems, weight gain, irregular social skills and poor academic performance. According to Dr Avi Sadeh, a loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to the loss of two years of cognitive maturation and development. To understand the critical nature of sleep to our children’s growth and development, let’s take a look at the essentials needed for healthy sleep and what interventions we can put in place in our homes to encourage better sleep routines. Essentials of Healthy Sleep Healthy sleep allows for optimal alertness when we are awake. This is the state in which we are most receptive to and interactive with our environment – when our attention span is at its best and the most learning can occur. You can see this in a child who is calm and attentive, pleasant, wide eyed, absorbing everything, and socially interacts with ease. Altered states of alertness interfere with a child’s learning and behaviour. Healthy sleep thus requires: Sufficient amounts of sleep to grow, develop, and function optimally. How much is right for your child varies by age. Uninterrupted (good quality) sleep allows good growth and development of the body’s nervous system. The proper number of age-appropriate naps optimize alertness, learning and development. Naps serve a different purpose to that of night time sleep, but are as important. Thus timing is essential, making sure they are planned and in sync with your child’s natural biological rhythms. A sleep schedule that is in sync with the child’s natural biological rhythms(internal clock or circadian rhythm). This allows for effective restoration and long term memory development, but being out of sync can lead to difficulty falling asleep or simply staying awake. Children then become overly tired and stressed. So it is important your child’s sleep needs are met and that you adjust your schedule to be in sync with theirs. If, over time, any of these essentials are not optimal, symptoms of sleep deprivation and fatigue may occur. How can we help our kids get the proper amount of sleep? Limit bedtime activities- a routine of relaxing activities like reading or listening to classical music can help most children sleep better. Make sure all electronics are removed to avoid further stimulation. Establish a sleep schedule- similar to routine activities, experts recommend consistent times to go to sleep and wake, ideally not differing much during the week or on weekends. Create a Conducive Environment- children will sleep faster and deeper when the room is dark, quiet and cool. Promote Regular Exercise- A minimum of 60 minutes of physical activity for children each day can yield many benefits, including better sleep. Limit Caffeine- it’s advisable to limit all forms of caffeine, particularly late in the day, which includes tea, soda and chocolate. Avoid late afternoon or Early Evening naps- later naps can result in later bedtimes and less critical sleep for older children. As parents, it is our responsibility to be sensitive to and protect our children’s sleep, just as we do their safety. We are primarily responsible for their sleep habits so it is important to start healthy ones early; it is much easier to instil good habits than correct bad ones. Thus infuse the importance of sleep with daily attention to it and you will likely have a happier, self-assured, less demanding, and more sociable child. And who knows, you might just get some more sleep yourself! Written By: Danielle Forsyth (Trinityhouse Heritage Hill, Educational Psychologist)
What is Decision-Making? Decision making is an invaluable skill, especially when your children start to make independent choices. It is an ability that benefits throughout their lives. More often, it will be their independent choices which will determine the course of their lives. Decision-making is about assessing all the options available, being aware of the situation within and around you. Thus, for children to become good at decision-making, they need to learn how to assess the possibilities, be self-aware about what they need, and understand the situation they are in. For many people, both young and adults making a decision is one of the hardest and complicated things in life, as it involves numerous aspects for consideration. Many times due to a lack of self-awareness, people remain confused throughout their lives and often end up making poor choices. Considering the dynamic environment of the 21st Century and exposure to technology from an early age, thus instilling the quality of making good decisions among children is imperative. Every small or big decision an individual makes has the potential to change his/her life. “Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. “- Tony Robbins (American Author, Coach, Speaker) What are the essential skills for effective decision-making? The ability to make sound decisions requires a wide variety of skills. Below are the skills that are crucial to make your child an effective Decision-maker: Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ability to think judiciously and reasonably without being affected by anything or anyone. It is an art of analyzing something with an unbiased mindset. Effective decision-making requires critical thinking over all the possible alternatives. Individuals need to analyze the cause and effect relationship to ensure that the selected alternative has minimum or no negative impacts. Critical Thinking will enable your child to make an informed decision. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is the ability to solve problems effectively. Problem-solving skills are the basis for improvement and innovation. Children need to incorporate problem-solving skills to become a good decision-maker. Problem solving also requires critical thinking, but in addition, it is also about understanding the problem. As often, the solution is hidden within the problem itself. Creativity: Creativity is all about mixing originality with uniqueness. Creative Thinking helps us to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, decisions are to be made regarding such aspects where there is no way to know which possibility or decision is the right one. Creativity will enable your child to make sound decisions in unforeseen situations. When the logical or traditional aspects do not make sense, it is the creativity of a person that comes into play. It can be an out-of-the-box idea or an unorthodox approach to seeing things from a different perspective. “Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.”- Malcolm Gladwell Logical Reasoning: Reasoning is concerned with analyzing a problem in a logical manner to draw conclusions. It helps to identify the reason behind anything and approach towards our assessment of things logically. Sound decisions are an outcome of logical reasoning. Reasoning will help your child to assess the pros and cons of the decision they intend to make. Thinking logically and reasonably ensures that foolish options are set aside straightaway during the decision-making process. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the ability to understand and influence others’ emotions. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. There are times when we have to make hard decisions. This is when emotional Intelligence plays its role. Emotional Intelligence will help your children to manage their sentiments while making harsh decisions. Time Management: Time management is the ability to prioritize activities based on the available time. There are times when the decision is required to be taken time bound as well. In such a situation, the assessment of possible options, understanding of the situation, etc. is to be done within that time frame. When a child knows how to manage his/her time, the ability to take time-bound decisions improves. How can you improve Decision-making skills? Decision-making is one of the most significant and beneficial life skills in the 21st Century. Acquiring Decision-making skills also contributes to improving a child’s leadership ability. Decisions can transform our lives beyond imagination. Therefore, you must help your child in developing decision-making skills. Encourage Decision Making: During the day to day life, you can get multiple situations when you can allow your child to make a decision. The more opportunity a child will get to make decisions; the more his/her decision-making skills will improve. Ask Questions: Talk to your children about their thought process behind making a decision. See how they are evaluating various possibilities, in case you see one or more possibility was ignored, then ask them ‘what if this happened?’ Pay attention to how they respond and guide them in those aspects where there is a need for improvement. Discuss Your Process of Decision Making: Share with your children an incident of your life where you had to make a tough decision. Explain to them what was going on in your mind, what were the different aspects you took into consideration, etc. This way, they would feel more comfortable asking you for guidance for any of their decision. Involvement: If a certain situation in your house requires a decision to be made, make your children part of the discussion. The more involved they become, the more connected they would feel with the situation, putting them in a mindset of thinking and assessing the situation. More importantly, they would also learn from you, and they might even give you some valuable points to consider. “Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” – Jun Camp The world needs proficient Decision-makers for a bright future. Developing this skill within a child from an early age is crucial for the overall development. Creating a better generation then themselves is a responsibility of each generation. And this responsibility starts with parents itself.
Play skills, similar to other developmental skills, progress in complexity with time and practice. Caregiver support and their role in nurturing a child’s free play skills changes and evolves throughout the play stages. Free play allows for the development of various physical, cognitive, language and socio-emotional skills, but also contributes greatly to children’s health and well-being. Free play, with minimal adult interference, will provide them with the opportunity to work on various skills including: problem solving, creative thinking, flexible thinking, initiative and grit, self-regulation skills, working memory, sustained focus, physicality and can provide them with an opportunity to have some quiet time to soothe and calm themselves. Free play with a playmate can further see them developing various socio-emotional skills including: self-expression, negotiation, compromise, perspective taking and empathy. Important skills for the future, wouldn’t you say…? Some children are natural players, skilled at independent free play and can shift easily between free play, screens and other home activities and tasks. Other children, however, may need more support and guidance to help them to play more independently and become captains of their own play adventures. During free play a child can create, direct and adapt the play activity and play script as they engage in their play adventure. Free play is intrinsically motivated, spontaneous, not limited by a certain set of rules or directives and not necessarily reality bound. If you have a little one that requires support in developing their free play skills, have a look at some of my top tips for free play: Make free play part of your daily routine. Create a safe and calm play space, preferably screen free, that won’t interfere with the flow of their play. Don’t overwhelm with too many toys and objects. Rotate items in boxes and containers, keep a few favourites close and include open ended toys and objects, such as wooden blocks or empty boxes. After your child chooses a play prompt (or you have provided them with a few choices), allow them time and space for their idea to form. Don’t be too quick to offer your own ideas and try to limit the “adult agenda” when it comes to free play. Offer encouragement and support, but try not to ask too many questions at the start while their idea is developing. Children need a longer time to process information and for their ideas to take shape. Asking too many questions too early on may discourage them. For more tips, information and demonstrations on developing and supporting play throughout the play stages as well as other areas of child development, come join our online PlayMore platform. Visit: www.playmoreot.com or our social media platforms @playmoreot on Instagram and Playmoreot on Facebook for more information. Let’s PlayMore! Anandé from PlayMore
Choosing a baby sitter for your children can be a very daunting task. You need to find someone trustworthy, who is the right fit for your children.
We all have a need to love and be loved. Our lives feel happier and more fulfilled when we enjoy positive human relationships. Having friends who we can laugh and cry with, be serious or a little crazy with, and with whom we can feel completely comfortable is one of the most fundamentally important needs of the human race. This is why it feels so heart-breaking when we discover that our children may be struggling to make friends at school. Cindy Glass, Co-founder and Director of afterschool remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centre says “There are a number of reasons why a child may struggle to form positive friendships – negative behavioural choices, low self-esteem, personality differences, differing belief systems and unintentionally negative body language or tone of voice. Escapism from social interactions through over-use of technology also plays a big role in this!” “We need to note that all behavioural choices are based on how we feel about ourselves as a person and the inevitable fears that dominate these beliefs. Creating meaningful personal relationships is rooted in positive self-belief. Negative, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours often repel friendships and, unfortunately, this re-enforces the feelings of unworthiness and low self-value that created the negative behaviours in the first place” Cindy goes on to say. If your child is struggling to form friendships, you may want to consider the following helpful tips: 1. Ensure that you keep the lines of non-judgemental communication open. Chat about what happens at school, openly and honestly. Emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness and self-regulation are key here! Make sure that you do not re-enforce your child’s belief that he/she is less! Focus on their strengths and what others will like about them. They may, indeed, be a little different, but never less! 2. Chat to your child’s teacher with the aim of gaining a deeper understanding of your child’s behaviours at school. 3. Friendships cannot be forced. It takes positive mind-set and behavioural changes in your child if changes are to be enjoyed at school. Teach your child to focus on his/her choices and not on the choices of others. It takes patience and time but you will be amazed at the results! 4. People enjoy the company of positive happy individuals. Teach your child the joys of uplifting others. This will change the energy that your child gives off and other children will start looking to your child for a friendship that feels good to be in. 5. Emotional intelligence’s empathy and social skills will play a vital role in changing the way your child perceives himself/herself to be. Invest in these courses! “Finally, remember that children copy your actions, not your words! Set the example of how to treat others in positive, uplifting ways. Teach your children to own who they are-mistakes and all- and to value others because they value themselves first!” Cindy concludes.
When the new baby comes home, the joy and excitement can lead to the first born child (or even just older children) feeling somewhat “dethroned” and ignored. When this occurs, it is common to see changes in that child’s behaviour; they may begin to feel jealousy toward the new arrival and in some cases, may even strike out to hurt them. Others may simulate being a baby once again by crying, talking ‘baby talk,’ and even having wetting accidents. Your challenge is to find creative ways for oldest children to feel different from their siblings and to develop a sense of value to the family by implementing the following ideas: The first tip is the BIG BROTHER or BIG SISTER buttons available at most party supply stores. They were intended to make the first born child feel special when the new baby comes home, but I love the idea so much I encourage parents to use it beyond just that one special time. Find creative ways for the oldest child to assist with the new sibling, but never leave them alone with the baby. They may be able to sing to the baby, help with the bath, or be helpful in collecting items needed for the baby’s care at the moment. Carve out time to have one-on-one time alone with the other child(ren). Set up visual schedules or timers so the older child can have something to watch for to know when their special time is approaching. You may even want to consider having special toys that only come out when mom must attend to the baby. Explore holding family meetings once a week, especially if you have school age children or older. It will promote a sense of importance among all the children and will help them feel a greater sense of respect from the parent(s). The meetings can be held on the same night of the week and everyone should be included. If one person leaves the meeting, it’s over until the next meeting. Other tips for the family meeting include keeping them brief, making them fun, and being consistent, especially if some of your children are younger. It is helpful to have everyone sitting in a circle and do your best to avoid answering the door or telephone. Doing so sends a message that the family is more important than anything else. If the oldest child can write, I suggest introducing the role of THE SCRIBE, the person who serves as the meeting secretary and takes the notes of what was decided and what was said. Preserved in a tin box in my closet is a folder of meeting minutes that were taken by my oldest child throughout the years of our family meetings. The lists of rules and decisions are presented in perfect penmanship in red crayon on white-lined paper. These documents are more valuable to me than any historical parchment paper documents I could ever own. The next time you’re facing challenging behaviour, check to see if it happens to be your oldest child. Perhaps they are trying to tell you that they don’t feel so special anymore and just need some encouragement that they still matter to you.
One of the best ways to build up a sense of independence is to make choices. When we make our own choices, we feel some sense of control. With frequent opportunities to make our own decisions we begin to think of ourselves as ‘in power’ of at least parts of our lives. The same rings true for our youngsters. Making choices is not just an essential life skill for them, but Dr Erin Leyba says it builds respect, strengthens community, invites cooperation, develops problem-solving skills and capitalises on children’s basic human need to feel in control. How do we go about creating confident decision makers? It is a question of practice makes perfect. As many skills, you do not achieve success in the first round. By including simple choices throughout the day, your toddler will learn that he can have a say in what he chooses to eat for snack time (would you like an apple or banana?) or what to wear to school (would you like to wear the green or blue sweater today?). Here are a few golden rules to consider as you work your way to a stress-free day and empower your child to make choices on the road to becoming a confident decision maker: Choices must be limited. Offering too many options may create anxiety therefore keep it simple. Certain routine tasks are tricky especially when it comes to brushing teeth. Offer them a choice of toothbrush: would you like to use the green dinosaur or your shaking Spiderman toothbrush? Strawberry flavoured or minty toothpaste today? Sometimes adults need to tell children that there is no choice. When safety or health is at risk, it is important for the adult to say, “Choosing not to brush your teeth is not an option.” Choices must be honoured. Do not offer a choice that you cannot honour. The choices must be authentic. If you offer your two children an option of two stories, inevitably, one will choose the first story and the other child will choose the second story. This is not what you need at the end of the long day. Resolve this by offering each child the choice of story on alternate nights. Avoid being too indulgent and child-centered. “Anything you want my darling” does not offer a child sufficient boundaries that they require to feel safe which in turn is essential to developing self-assurance. As parents we are exhausted at the end of the day, it might feel like you have been in a boxing ring with your toddler. Offer them choices that will make them feel empowered and make feel like their opinions and feelings are of significance. By Bonita Nel, teacher at Pecanwood College
The question I get asked is ‘is it really necessary? After all my parents did without and I turned out just fine!’. Baby Monitors come in all shapes and sizes but it’s all about what fits into your lifestyle and meets your needs as a parent.
There are many different reasons why kids (and adults) end up with low self-esteem and a feeling of negativity and hopelessness. One of the big ones is that technology has changed the way kids socialize and interact with each other, and this is impacting on their mental and emotional well being. While there is no one size fits all solution, we can definitely make a difference by encouraging our children to engage in more creative activities from a very early age.
Sports Science Institute Biokineticist, Zoe Woodman, gives us her advice on the do’s and don’ts of keeping fit during pregnancy.
Caring for an infant can be exhausting, but there’s so much to look forward to. Take a tour of first-year “firsts” with WebMD’s guide to the most anticipated baby milestones. During the first year of life, your baby will grow and develop at an amazing speed. While caring for an infant can be exhausting during this period, there is so much to look forward to. Here are the development milestones that your baby will reach in their first year: At Birth Head, Hands and Visuals At birth, your baby will: Have no control of head movement. You would notice that baby’s hands are closed and palmar and plantar grasp reflexes are present. Baby is able to close their eyes in response to bright light. 6 Weeks Head, Hands, Visuals, Hearing, Speech, Recognition and expressions Has a moderate amount of control over the head, particularly while lying on stomach, bust still demonstrates head lag when gently pulled up into a sitting position. Places hand in mouth and can make tight fists. Looks at faces or objects placed within the direct field of vision and may follow slow moving objects within 90°. Responds to sounds by calming, startling or crying. May turn head to the source of the sound. Starts making “cooing” sounds. Begins to smile in response to a familiar face or voice. 3 Months Head, Hands, Visuals, Hearing, Speech, Recognition, expressions and Gross Motor Can lift head when lying in a prone position, very little head lag. Spends much time inspecting hands. Hands are held loosely. Grasp objects that are placed in the hands. Follows objects moving up to 180° in the field of vision. Starts to recognise and look at the source of sounds. Smiles spontaneously. Develops facial expressions to show basic emotions. Recognises and responds to parents. Can lift upper body with forearms when lying on stomach. Demonstrates controlled leg movements lick kicking and stretching. Begins to demonstrate standing reflex, (pushing down on a surface with legs when held up). 6 Months Head, Hands, Visuals, Hearing, Speech, Recognition, expressions and Gross Motor Supports head and can move head. Reaches for and grasps objects. Transfers objects from hand to hand. Starts holding a bottle. Places objects in mouth. Can move eyes in all directions. Responds vocally when spoken to. Uses sounds, such as moaning, squealing or laughing, to express emotions. Uses repetitive monosyllabic sounds, like “baba”. Recognises toys. Recognises self in a mirror and responds to own name. Can support upper body with hands when lying on stomach. Sits when supported. Rolls over. Legs can support the body when held in a standing position. 9 Months Head, Hands, Visuals, Speech, Recognition, expressions and Gross Motor Can pick up, shake and drop small objects. Begins to grasp food and place it in the mouth. Holds a bottle. Begins to point. Starts imitating sounds. Recognises their own name. Nervous around strangers. Sits without support. Crawls on stomach and then on hands and knees. Starts to pull body into a standing position. 1 Year Begins to understand and respond to words like “no”and “bye bye”. Walks with support. Speaks up to 4 words. Can perform gestures such as waving goodbye, pointing or shaking the head. Plays with and makes sounds at toys. Begins to throw objects. Searches for hidden or fallen toys. Helps to dress self. Shows social preference. *These milestones are only given as an approximate as to when your baby might start doing certain things, as all babies develop differently. If you are concerned about your baby’s development, please consult with your healthcare professional.
Over many years the theory on when the right age to introduce solids is, has been debated. The advice has varied over the last 60 years from 2 weeks old to 6 months and even older. There are two ways to approach this question: Understanding science and research Knowing your own baby The current evidence in research points to the following: Do not introduce any solids into your baby’s diet before 17 weeks unless advised to by a medical doctor. Preferably breastfeed your baby for at least 6 months. Do not delay the introduction of solids too long after 6 months as allergy risk as well as fussy eating can result from very late introduction of solids. It is safe from an allergy perspective to introduce solids between 17 weeks and 6 months of age. Your Baby With the facts in mind, turn your attention to your baby. Introduce solids between the window of 17 weeks and 6 months, once your baby shows he needs and is ready for solids: No longer displays a tongue thrust reflex that pushes food from his mouth. Can hold up his head and sits supported in a chair Is no longer stretching between feeds and is demanding another feed in the day. Interest in your eating and reaching for your food or utensils when you are eating. Not sleeping as well at night as he was previously. Once you have weighed this up, discuss it further with your clinic sister who knows your baby best from a health perspective.
Amblyopia better known as “lazy eye” occurs when the vision in a child’s one eye doesn’t develop like it should. If it is not treated promptly the brain will only process the picture from the normal eye and learn to ignore the picture from the lazy eye. It is in fact the leading cause of visual impairment in children and affects approximately 2 to 3 out of every 100 children. What are the possible causes? Amblyopia commonly starts when one eye has a much better focus than the other. This can be caused by a number of conditions * such as: Strabismus (squint) –This is the most common cause of amblyopia. It occurs when the eyes don’t line up properly, for example, one-eye turns in towards the nose or it turns out towards the ears. The eyes cannot focus together on an image so the brain compensates by switching off whichever eye produces the fuzziest image. Unequal Refractive Errors or focus – Refractive amblyopia occurs when the brain favours one eye over the other due to extreme near-sightedness, far-sightedness or even astigmatism *. The brain gets a blurry image from the eye with the refractive error and a clear image from the normal eye, so to stop the confusion; it starts to ignore the eye with the blurry image. Vision Obstruction – This is also known as deprivation amblyopia. This occurs when something blocks light from entering a baby’s eye. Common causes include cataracts, scars and blood at the back of the eye. How is it Diagnosed? Amblyopia can be difficult to spot because it doesn’t have any external signs or symptoms and it begins in infancy or early childhood. Because of this some experts recommend that children have their eyes tested at six months, then at three years and again before they start school. Some clues that amblyopia may be present include: Observing a baby’s behaviour when one eye is blocked; if the baby continuously and constantly fusses or cries, it might indicate a vision problem. Squinting eyes can also be another clue that amblyopia may be present. Because amblyopia often affects one eye only, the parents may notice that the child constantly bumps into objects on the affected side.* If amblyopia runs in the family, the child is more likely to get it. Remember, you can’t tell by just looking at a child that they have it, and although these clues might give a suggestion of amblyopia, a full examination is needed to make an accurate diagnosis. This is essential so that prompt treatment can be started to try and prevent irreversible vision loss. How is it treated? The most common form of treatment for amblyopia is to retrain the brain to start using the weaker eye. This is done by firstly correcting any focusing problems with glasses or surgery (when needed) and then wearing a patch over the stronger eye. Sometimes eye drops are also prescribed to blur the image in the stronger eye, forcing the brain to use the weaker eye. What’s the long-term outlook? Amblyopia can lead to problems* if left untreated, such as loss of depth perception or blindness in one eye. If the stronger eye gets injured somehow, then serious problems with visual acuity can follow. With early diagnosis and treatment, most children’s vision will improve. It becomes increasingly difficult to treat after the age of 10 and therefore it is so Important to catch it early!
Stimulation is important for brain development – of that we are sure. The connections (synapses) that are made between brain cells are vital for development. For example a connection in the language part of the brain will result in understanding of speech or in speech itself. Connections are mainly made between brain cells in the presence of stimulation.
While most parents prefer not to think of their children in potentially life-threatening situations, being prepared and knowing how to respond appropriately in the event of an accident, injury or illness is crucial for the well-being of children. These unexpected events can also place huge financial burdens on families if they are not dealt with quickly, decisively and correctly. For this reason, Bestmed Medical Scheme has introduced Best Care, a life-saving first aid series that offers insights on how parents and caregivers can better care for their families. In this article the brand offers tips on first aid kits, CPR and Wound care in collaboration with some of SA’s best paediatricians. First aid A fully stocked first aid kit is an essential item in every home, but it’s also a good idea to create a mini first aid kit that can be carried in a handbag, diaper bag or in the car for use during an emergency while out and about or on the road to your next holiday destination. According to paediatrician, Dr Enrico Maraschin, having medical tools and medication that can be used to measure and control a temperature is vital. High fevers can be dangerous to the health and wellbeing of little ones if left unattended or not properly treated. It can result in convulsions, which is a stressful event for parents to witness and support their child through. Rehydration solutions, over-the-counter medicines to bind a runny tummy and even probiotics are good items to include in your home first aid kit for children, in case your child is exposed to a virus or bacteria that can cause diarrhoea and sometimes vomiting. Antiseptic creams, bandages to wrap wounds and a small pair of scissors to cut bandages may also come in handy in case of a fall or injury, and keep safety pins, an eye patch and adhesive dressings packed too. CPR Knowing how to resuscitate a child who is choking or having difficulty breathing is a necessary first aid skill that every parent and caregiver should possess, as it could help keep them alive until emergency services arrive. Resuscitation is necessary when a child appears unresponsive, has collapsed or is gasping for air and struggling to breathe. It’s always best, of course, to intercede and assist a child as early on as possible – always take signs of breathing difficulty seriously and don’t wait for the child to collapse before taking action. The first abbreviation to keep in mind is SSS – Safety, Shout and Stimulate. Safety: Look at the immediate environment around you and ascertain whether it’s safe to attend to the child here or if they need to be moved to safety. It might seem simple enough, but in a moment of panic it’s easy to lose sight of this very important step. Shout: Call for help from people nearby, phone the emergency services or get someone to call an ambulance for you. Stimulate: Check if the child is responsive by gently tapping their arm, stroking their face or speaking to them. If the child does not groan or move and is unresponsive, quickly move on to the ABC. ABC is a CPR abbreviation that stands for Airway, Breathe, and Circulation. Airway: Make sure the child’s head and neck are aligned and that their body is positioned in a straight position – don’t let the neck flex as this prevents air from reaching the lungs. Breathe: In the case of infants and babies, place your mouth over their nose and mouth to create a seal. For bigger babies and children, pinch the nose and place the mouth over just their mouth. Circulation: There are three steps involved in this section: Step one: Take a breath and breathe into the mouth, making sure that the chest rises. Step two: Wait for the chest to deflate to normal position Step three: Repeat the first step. You can continue this cycle five times. If the child is still not responsive, move on to chest compressions. While the technique varies between younger and older children, the gist remains the same. For infants, use two fingers or a hand circling technique to apply compressions. For older children who are above the age of one, use one or two hands curled around the other to press on to the breastbone (the same would apply for an adult). Use quick compressions, positioning yourself directly over the chest and keeping the elbows straight. “You need to do the compressions at a rate of 100 to 120 seconds. Singing a song like ‘Staying Alive’ in your head and compressing to the beat will help you to do this,” says paediatrician, Dr Kevanya Coopoo. Alternate between compressions and administering rescue breaths, and continue this until help arrives, the child is responsive, or you are too fatigued. “I always recommend that families go for basic life support courses. Have a look at the Resuscitation Council of South Africa’s website for a range of courses to choose from,” says Dr Coopoo. She adds that this ensures all members of the family are aware of safety practices and are able to help one another in a crisis. For younger children, teach them the phone numbers of emergency services so that they can call for help in an emergency. Wound care Accidents happen, and when they do, they may result in wounds that require proper care and treatment to ensure they heal well. A wound is any break in the skin or injury to the tissue. It can be open (in the case of the skin being penetrated or cut) or closed (if there’s damage to underlying tissue). “If there’s bleeding, compress the wound with a clean cloth or gauze for a few minutes until the bleeding stops. Then rinse off with clean running tap water for a few minutes. Now, clean the wound by using an alcohol-sterilised pair of tweezers to pick out any debris,” says Dr Coopoo. Dr Coopoo adds that the wound would most likely be moist at
This is one of the most common questions posed to a speech therapist. As a parent, if this questions has come to your mind – this indicates a certain level of concern for your child which is a great start. An open minded parent, who shows keen interest in their child’s developmental milestones, is the beginning of a child’s progress. Being in denial about any delay in your child’s milestones is more detrimental to your child than the actual delay itself. For any concern, assistance is always available. Trust your gut feeling – motherly instincts are there for a very good reason, listen to it. At the end of this article we share a fun activity to encourage your child to make verbal requests in various lengths with the final aim being – “Mommy, may I have more chocolate pizza please” The standards that we have for our children differ according to various factors. Two parents, who may have had a rough childhood financially, could have opposing views regarding money when it comes to their own children. One parent may feel that their children need to value money in the same way hence they limit their spending and have a set amount of allowance they receive. The other parent may feel that they do not want their child to be ‘deprived’ the way they were hence they have no limits regarding how much money their child receives. Both parties need to have a common ground to avoid conflict in their relationship and the relationship they have with their child. You might be wondering – what does this have to do with my child’s speech development? In the same way 2 parents can have different opinions regarding finances, 2 parents can also have different opinions whether a child’s speech is delayed “just like so and so’s son” or a visit to a speech therapist is compulsory. Depending on who you ask, the stage of “talking” is interpreted differently. For some, it may be when a child starts using vocalisations such as /nana/ whilst others it could be when a child uses a two-word utterance such as /baba gone/. The former is known as babbling which begins around the age of 4 months and the latter is achieved by 18 months. Before we discuss these milestones in greater detail, let’s understand the difference between speech and language. As elaborated in our May edition, All You Need to Know About Speech Therapists, “speech” is the actual sounds that emanate from the mouth. Disorders of speech can include stuttering, a lisp, apraxia, dysarthria. “Language” is a system of communication made up of written text and sounds. Language is further broken down into receptive and expressive language. A child who can follow age appropriate verbal instructions but is unable to express himself verbally is said to have delayed expressive language development. At birth, your new-born’s sole method of communicating hunger, pain and discomfort is by crying (see Dunstan baby language by Priscilla Dunstan as featured on the Oprah Winfrey show). Cooing and laughter are 2 reflexes that a baby can’t control i.e. it happens naturally. Playing the game peek-a-boo is an ideal way to stimulate these reflexes in children 4 – 12 months. They would laugh (sometimes uncontrollably!) at almost any silly sound that you make. Just as walking is preceded by crawling, so too is talking preceded by babbling. For some babbling are the non-sense sounds which babies make that have the ability to melt anyone’s heart. Ironically, we can’t wait for babies to start talking, however once they are older and the questions don’t stop – we wish they would keep quiet. 4 – 5 months Simple babbling Ba – na – da Your child discovers s/he has a “voice” and will experiment with pitch, volume, tone etc 6 – 7 months: Reduplicated babbling (repeated the same sound) Baba – nana – mama – dada A string of the same sound may be repeated e.g. mamamamama 8 – 9 months: Variegated babbling (repeating different sounds) Maba – daba – bana 10 – 11 months: Jargon 12 month: First meaning word By the age of 12 months, your child will understand more words than they can say i.e. their receptive language will be greater than their expressive language. As parents, it is tempting for us to respond to our children’s non-verbal cues as compared to prompting them for a verbal response. Let’s explain further using a practical example Scenario 1 Ten-month old Ben was playing with a soft ball which has rolled under the bed. His mother noticed that the ball has disappeared. Without saying a word, she reaches under the bed to get the ball and pass it to Ben. Ben’s mother could have used verbal and non – verbal communication which requires minimal effort but has a profound impact on Ben’s development. Scenario 2 Ten-month old Tom’s mother, Sarah, noticed that his favourite toy fell off the table. She turned to Tom and asked, “Where is your toy” while using exaggerated facial expression, a questioning tone of voice and arms in the air. Sarah then puts her hand over her mouth and says “Oh-o!” with her other hand on her hip. By now Tom is carefully examining his mothers body language and taking cues from her tone of voice that something is wrong. Sarah then repeats the words “Gone!” in a stern tone a few times. Tom is making association between his mothers body language, tone of voice and choice of words. Sarah decides to let Tom crawl on the floor and look for his toy. He finds his toy and exclaims by saying ‘bababa’. Sarah then takes the toy away from him and places it behind her back, out of Tom’s sight. She asks Tom again, “Where is your toy”. Only once his facial expression changes does she repeat the words “Gone!” using the same tone of voice and facial expression as before. Sarah has used the opportunity to expand her child’s
My kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old and I wanted to help moms out with an idea of what your evenings could look like with a consistent routine that your children can know and become used to. By knowing what to expect, as each night is more or less the same, my kids don’t argue or negotiate what to do or not do, as we have done the routine since they were babies. We have dinner when dad gets home from work around 5:00/5:30 p.m. After dinner, we do some sort of activity, which usually lasts for 15−20 minutes. We either go outside and play, throw the ball for our dog, swing or jump on the trampoline (the kids, not us adults!). Or, on long summer days, we go for a walk around the block. After this, we go inside and all three kids jump into the bath at around 18:00/18:15 p.m. While they bath, I get their clothing ready – nappy for little one and PJs. I set up their essential-oil owl diffusers (I find this is super helpful with snotty noses and change of season as well as dry air) and take the towels back to the bathroom, while dad stands in the doorway watching them. They play and the splashing often gets a little out of hand; we wash them and then wrangle them out the bath by 18:30 p.m. We apply cream, do meds and get dressed. We then all read a story or two (sometimes three, if they get their way) on one bed. After the story, it is lights out. We all say good night and my husband often sits with the older two for a few minutes (my 4- and 6-year olds share a room, each with their own bed) and I take our 2-year old to bed. I tuck her in with her bunny and also sit with her or stand by the door for a few minutes. Most nights, all the kids are asleep by 7:00 p.m. In summer, we put the fans are on, which helps with a bit of white noise, and in winter, we have wall heaters to take the chill off the air. I dress my kids in warm fleece onesies in winter because they generally do not sleep under their blankets, and before I go to bed myself each night, I check on them and put a blanket over them, as being cold can cause early wakings with babies and children. When they were smaller they still had sleeping bags. We try keep our bedtime routine, from bath to lights out, within 30 minutes. Research shows that our body’s melatonin is at its highest point within 30 minutes of having had warm water on our bodies, and I have seen that this really does help my kids calm down and get sleepy. With only one child, you can really create a SPA type of environment with dimmed lights and calming music. But as they grow and are more mobile or when you start to have more kids in the bath-time routine, it is quite unrealistic to expect your kids to not splash and be loud at bath time. Having a consistent routine allows my children to know what is coming next and that bedtime with lights off is at the end of the routine. To summarise: WHY a bedtime routine is needed: A consistent bedtime routine is vital for good sleep health, for both children and adults. The consistency of a bedtime routine helps your baby or child prepare for sleep and to know that sleep is coming. It also helps with melatonin production. WHEN a bedtime routine should be done: If you aim for bedtime to be between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., you need to aim for 30 minutes before that. HOW a bedtime routine should be done: I love reading that “a bedtime routine should be relaxing and a SPA-like environment should be created” (at Good Night, we even used to advocate this). And yes, that is a lovely idea and would help with prepping the brain for sleep and allow your baby to feel super relaxed and calm. It could also be achievable when you have only one child, but throw three children in the bath together and the noise and atmosphere will be more like varsity-locker-room vibes than a SPA. Load shedding added to the mix can spice up your night, especially as it is getting darker earlier as winter approaches. I use a lamp to have light in the bathroom. I also need to be a little more prepared with turning our geyser on earlier so our water is warm and making sure the clothing is out so I don’t need to use my cell phone flashlight to find the PJs in the dark. But my kids are so used to load shedding that it doesn’t cause too many issues; they just know that we need to then tell and not read a story in the dark. Below are just the basic points of what a bedtime routine can look like. Bedtime routine: Bath Dress in PJs Read a story Hugs and kisses Lights off Being able to have all three of our children bath and do their bedtime routine together was what we wanted as a family, firstly to create a time of bonding and secondly for practical reasons. When my husband works late, I need to be able to independently bath and put to bed all three of my kids together and bathing and dressing them one by one is way too exhausting and drawn out. Having all three of our kids bath together works for us, even though that creates lots of noise, wet floors and chaos. We embrace the chaos and noise and allow the warm water temperature to do its work on the brain (temperature change signals the brain to release melatonin) regardless of the splashing and loud fun being had by all three children. By Megan
