After the birth – Keeping your baby with you after the birth will promote a feeling of closeness and a strong hormonal response that is linked with breastfeeding success. In many cases, it is even possible to have your baby with you immediately after a caesarean birth
There are many terms that teachers, psychologists and other professionals may use that, at times, are perhaps not explained effectively leaving parents at a loss to the significance of these difficulties. It is important to understand what the importance of these conditions are, (especially if they have been mentioned in your child’s school report) what they mean, and the possible consequences and repercussions thereof. The midline is akin to an imaginary line going down the middle of one’s body from head to toe. Midline crossing is important for many skills to develop later on. For example, midline crossing is important for a youngster to develop the ability to use one hand to write across the entire page. This will also determine whether the youngster will have the necessary skills to read the length of the sentence across the page from left to right A child who can’t cross the midline, for instance, would use his/her left hand to write or paint on the left-side of the page and his/her right hand to write or paint on the right-hand side of the page which can hamper the learning process. Crossing the midline is also an indicator of bilateral co-ordination which is the ability to use both sides of the body and brain simultaneously. This is important for gross motor skills such as climbing stairs, walking, riding a bicycle and swimming. In addition, bilateral co-ordination is also important to read, write and learn. In other words, the right and left brain have to work together, for example in reading the left brain’s task is to decode a word whilst the right brain facilitates the understanding and meaning of what was read. Midline crossing is therefore essential for a youngster to develop as it is a very necessary skill for learning in all areas of life.
How many of us can truly say they remember just what it was like to be a teenager? Like a severe trauma that lasts years, as we get older, we start to distance ourselves from it out of necessity. It becomes something we remember fondly, yet not fully. Perhaps with good reason… To feel misunderstood, especially by the prior generation, has to be one of the hallmarks of the years between 13 and 18 or 19. The words “you just don’t understand!” or similar are uttered and muttered both verbally and non-verbally the world over and over. These young humans have to change from being a child, to living in limbo, the space between childhood and adulthood for a long period, torn between the need for independence and the confines of being a minor. The teen years are a time when children undergo great changes and transitions; they may want you to think you’re not needed any more, but the reality is you, as a parent are needed more than ever. Teenagers are constantly testing their boundaries, learning what it means to move forward, haltingly and erringly from childhood to adulthood. One of the best ways to maintain connection and communication with your teen is to pay attention to body language and non-verbal cues. This can be so helpful in avoiding unnecessary conflict between you. Aside from the rare exception to the norm, a teen will strongly withhold what they’re really feeling and thinking. It can be seen as challenging to them to try to force answers from them when all we want to know is what’s going on with them. They may feel silly, or not want to admit to their parents that they aren’t as mature and independent as they would like to be. There is a degree of reluctance to let go of something that they are holding dear, something that makes them separate from you as the parent and therefore seemingly independent to a degree. Despite this reluctance to open up and share, their thoughts and feelings often still show through in their body language. Perhaps it’s time we tried to take a closer look at their (and once our own) communication, to try to see if we can help them to navigate these challenging years! Some common body Language of Modernus Teenagerus. Teens generally show most of the same body language as adults, but sometimes the non-verbal cues are less obvious or slightly distorted, since it is less natural and more deliberate for many of them. Let’s try to decipher just some common examples of teenage body language and what they appear to mean… Slumped body posture: A teen that walks with slumped body posture may be feeling self-conscious, unhappy, stressed, or just a bit down. He or she might also feel pretty good, but is just lost in thought about something else. Keep an eye on whether or not this is the go-to posture or just on rare occasion when they are thinking deeply. This will help you determine if it’s necessary to intervene further. Poor eye contact: Teens often struggle to make eye contact, especially with adults. They haven’t yet developed the self-confidence or comfort level of a full blown adult and so sometimes, they just can’t quite look you in the eye. This doesn’t have to have any implications for honesty or whether or not they’re hiding something. Think about how difficult it is to hold eye-contact with someone who seems more competent and confident than you. Now think about learning to do this for the first time and how nerve-wracking it can be! Backgrounding: Teens may have a tough time initiating conversation with their parents, so they sort of hang around in the background. They don’t quite engage you directly, but they also don’t head off and do something else on their own.
The onset of adolescence is a very challenging time for both teens and their parents. It is a time that is marked with rapid changes, and it is also when many expectations are placed onto teenagers – academic and sporting responsibilities, social pressures, the development of self identity and emerging freedoms. With increased independence come increased responsibility and the pressure to fit into social groups. The teenage brain is still growing, and it is different to the brain of an adult. Nancy Mucklow, in her book The Sensory Team Handbook, explains how the pre-frontal cortex of a teenager is still developing higher functions of impulse inhibition, emotional regulation, decision-making, attending, and behavior planning and organisation. The cerebellum, responsible for muscle coordination, is also still changing, as is the Corpus Collosum, a thick cable of nerves that connects the two halves of the brain. Due to this ongoing development happening in the teenage brain, skills such as creativity and problem-solving are not yet what it will be once the brain is fully developed. The brain is an amazing thing and it is teaching itself at all times. Teens need to explore, try things out, look at positives and negatives, and make their own decisions. In addition to all the challenges they face, teenagers also need to be aware of the impact of the environment on their sensory systems. They need to understand how their sensory systems work and why it matters in their day-to-day functioning. Not understanding the effect of sensory overload and responses to sensory overload may result in one or more of the following: Inability to focus Easily irritable Disorganisation Lethargy Impulsivity Risk taking Forgetfulness Adopting bad habits First defined by Patricia Wilbarger, a sensory diet is a carefully planned and personal activity plan that provides the sensory input a person needs to stay focussed and organised throughout the day. Just as you may jiggle your knee or chew gum to stay awake or soak in a hot tub to unwind, teens need to participate in stabilising, focussing activities too. Everyone can benefit from a personalised sensory diet. Each person has their own thresholds to sensory input, but they may not have the insight on how to cope with an overloaded and stressed sensory system. Teens need to determine their own unique sensory needs and preferences to promote body and brain function. Creating a sensory diet for teens will help them to develop healthy habits of self regulation that will help them function optimally as adults. Benefits of creating sensory diets for adolescents include: Increased self-awareness Improved ability to self nurture Increased resilience Increased self-esteem and body image Improved ability to engage in meaningful life roles Improved ability to engage in social activities Improved ability to cope with triggers and stress Improved ability to make informed decisions Engage your teen in identifying the events and occasions that make him or her feel overwhelmed, irritable and lethargic. Parents, teens and teachers can each keep a journal recording what they have seen and how the teen dealt with the situation. Think of the times at home, school and socially where experiences were negative and what the possible triggers could have been. Also note the activities that help with calming and regulation, and that lead to the teen feeling better. The activities or things that lead to regulation are what the teen will place in his or her sensory toolbox or sensory kit. A sensory toolbox or kit is a bag, box or container that holds a variety of sensory tools that can be used to both calm or stimulate a person’s sensory system. A sensory kit is unique to each person as each one is unique in their sensory needs. Trial and error will result in finding the right tools for each person. Sensory diets and toolboxes should include and involve all the senses, and the teen should be encouraged to make use of regular sensory breaks to stay regulated. A sensory break is another way of taking a regular old break from seated activities or sedentary activities. It is a time used to gain the needed sensory input in our bodies to stay alert, on task, and focussed. Sensory breaks for teens should take place at least every 45 minutes. For the thrill-seeking teenager encourage fun, but safe activities such as rock wall climbing, horse riding, running, and martial arts. These activities add intensity to the sensory diet without putting the teen in danger. Sensory tools in all the sensory systems can be used as alerting, calming and organising strategies. Alerting strategies and activities: Alerting activities are used for those who look for sensory input or who are unaware of the sensory experiences in their environment. Sensory seekers often need to be bombarded with sensory input in order to register what is happening around them or to stay alert. Fidget toys – Play with “fidget toy” for hands, such as small stress ball Crunchy, spicy, sour and salty foods – Pretzels, carrots, apples, granola, and other crunchy foods Fast and irregular movements – Spinning on a swing or other equipment (can quickly become over-stimulating – use caution!) Lively music – Dancing to rock, jazz, rap, or fast kids music A brightly lit room (full spectrum or natural light) Rocking quickly in a rocking chair Running, skipping, galloping for at least 1-2 minutes (any type of aerobic exercise, really) Jumping in place (trampoline, jumping jacks, jumping rope, etc.) Motor breaks during school – stand and stretch, run an errand for teacher, walk to bathroom, etc. Push on wall as if to move wall Do “chair push-up” in sitting by lifting bottom off floor or chair, holding self up with arms Carrying a stack of books, laundry, groceries, or something else approx. 5% of body weight Drinking grapefruit, cranberry or other tart juice – try partially freezing it Drinking through a long, thin straw, or reg. straw w/thick liquids (stimulates deeper breathing) Cold shower or cold water on face or arms
Reading is an important activity that everyone can be involved in. Not only does it help to expand knowledge, but it can also be a ton of fun! If your child has no interest in reading, there are a variety of ways to help them start building reading skills at home. It may be a challenge to encourage reading with reluctant readers or even ones who are frustrated by reading. We put together a list of tactics that can help build reading skills and inspire children to find enjoyment in doing so. Here are some ways to build reading skills at home: 1. Offer Different Reading Options Be sure to provide your children with a variety of reading options. They may be more inspired to read books about certain topics or genres, as well as books of varying lengths. Having a few to choose from will give them the opportunity to explore their interests and find something they enjoy. 2. Set Aside Time to Read Setting time aside to read is great for anyone, any age! Show your children that it’s important to make time to read for fun by doing so yourself. Seeing you read will help to encourage their own reading and can even become a part of your family routine. 3. Read Aloud Reading aloud can be fun for the reader and the listener. Take turns reading aloud by using different voices and reading in an interesting way. While it may seem silly at first, this can help build excitement and curiosity for the story. It can even make the reading experience more fun and inspire them to read more on their own to get better at their story telling! 4. Use dictionaries (traditional or online) and flashcards If your child is coming across words that are unfamiliar try looking up these words in a traditional dictionary or online to discover the meaning. Online dictionaries usually have the added feature of being able to play a soundbite to hear the correct pronunciation. Your child could then write the definitions onto flashcards to help them remember the meaning. Knowing the meaning and pronunciation will help them read more fluently as they build their vocabulary and spelling skills. (An added benefit of using a traditional dictionary is learning about alphabetical order and how to find words in this way.) 5. Define Reading Goals Whether it’s learning 5 new words, reading a chapter book, or even reading 10 books over a period of time, there are tons of ways you can set your reading goals. Talk with your child about different goals they may have and help them set these. Depending on their age, you could use a star chart or some similar tracking system to recognise and reward achievement. 6. Participate in Reading Challenges or Activities There are a variety of reading challenges available online (for example: https://growingbookbybook.com/reading-challenges-for-kids/). Many of these challenges can be done at home and even incorporated into reading goals. It’s fun for children to have something to follow along with and be encouraged to read. You can also do different activities such as acting out scenes of the book or having them draw their favourite scene to encourage them to think through the story in a new perspective. 7. Ask Questions About the Book It’s beneficial to have discussions about the book before, during and after reading the book. This helps them get interested in the story before reading it and then keeps them engaged as they read the story. After the story concludes, it’s interesting for them to see what they learned or what they found most interesting from the book. Asking questions will keep engagement up and also get them thinking more analytically about what they read. 8. Join a Supplemental Reading Programme Another way to build reading skills is to join a reading programme that is individualized for your child. A programme that considers your child’s comfortable starting point while continuously building their reading and writing skills. The Kumon English Programme does just that and can be incorporated into your daily reading routine. There are also tons of Recommended Reading List options to take away the guesswork of books that accommodate your child’s skills best. The Takeaway – Have Fun! Most importantly, building reading skills at home can be a lot of fun! As your children begin to explore new books, learn new words, and strengthen their skills, they will develop more confidence and be inspired to read independently. The confidence they build from regular reading practice will help your child develop a lifelong love of reading! This article is taken directly from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/building-reading-skills-at-home/
Discipline vs punishment What really helps vulnerable children build confidence and self-control? As a normal part of their development, all children test boundaries and break rules, but how parents respond to these moments has an undeniable effect on their child, whether positive or negative. And this is magnified for vulnerable children who live with foster parents or who have been adopted. Parents are human too, and they have to navigate their own emotions while parenting, but it’s important that they carefully consider their responses to their children when they misbehave. This includes understanding the difference between punishment and discipline. Beverley Beukes, MD of Oasis Haven, a registered Child and Youth Care Centre in Johannesburg, explains that punishment is imposed on a child by their parent, after the fact. “The child misbehaves and the parent reacts to that behaviour, which frequently results in a power struggle and vicious cycle.” Discipline, by contrast, is established before the fact and is based on a child’s needs. A parent provides guidelines for their child and gives them latitude to work within those guidelines, establishing consequences for failing to do so. “The ultimate goal of parental discipline is to wrap just enough structure around a child so that they can begin to develop self-control, the precursor of self-discipline,” says Beukes. So what does healthy discipline look like? Aim for connection over control “An important premise to begin with is that discipline needs to happen in the context of connection. It can’t be about control – without connection, parents will constantly be trying to control behaviour,” explains Simone Oketch, social worker at Oasis Haven. Vulnerable children will often set out to test their parents. They may display aggressive, inappropriate and unkind behaviours to see how far they need to go before their new parents will reject them. Parents need to see beyond those behaviours, and stay focused on the long-term goals of attaching and forming a healthy relationship. “If you help your child calm down and connect with you, even when you are correcting their behaviour, you will create an environment where they can flourish,” says Oketch. Understand your child Parents often think of their child in terms of their chronological age, but it’s important to consider their emotional age too, which may be significantly younger in some cases. Parents need to adjust their expectations and the words they use when talking through boundaries to meet their child’s developmental stage. Approach discipline in small increments Behaviour change takes time. “Seeing the long-term picture can help parents avoid thinking of misbehaviour as failure – as a vulnerable child’s fear lessens, they will not always have an immediate fight, flight, or freeze reaction. During this process the child can learn the cause and effect of their actions,” says Beukes. Rethink more ‘traditional’ consequences Beukes and Oketch’s experience working with vulnerable children has given them unique insights into how to help these children flourish. “Children who have had multiple broken bonds or who have experienced abuse often do not respond well to traditional methods of discipline,” says Beukes. Things such as time out and being grounded, among other approaches, might exacerbate the problem. Many parents can become quite discouraged and confused when this happens. Hidings are one of the most unhelpful approaches adoptive and foster parents can use. It is also illegal to spank children in South Africa, so it’s important that parents avoid any physical punishment. Some practical tools parents can rather use include earning or losing privileges, charting children’s behaviour so they can see their own progress and stay motivated over the long term, providing choices, talking to their child about their feelings, having weekly family meetings, and getting professional support through a therapist. If a child is provided with consistent and effective discipline, not only will their behaviour improve, but so will their relationship with their parents. “All children need to know is that their parent’s love for them is unconditional,” says Oketch. Oketch and Beukes have written a guide called Strengthening Families in a South African Context, sponsored by Ambassadors for Good, which provides an overview of foster care, adoption and family preservation, as well as guidance for statutory and adoption social workers on supporting families. For more information, visit www.oasishaven.org. About Oasis Haven Oasis Haven is a registered Child and Youth Care Centre with two family homes in Robin Hills, Johannesburg, with capacity for 10 children in each home. But we are more than that – we are a big, loving, messy family made up of children, house parents, staff, volunteers, donors and the community we live and work in. Our vision is for every vulnerable child to be in a loving, forever family. Our mission is to break the cycle of vulnerable children by loving them as our own and working to provide family through adoption or in our Family Homes. We focus on quality care, education and therapy, rooted in faith.
Babies and children require seemingly few products to stay healthy, but as they age, most parents realise that there are some essentials that do not only boost and improve their child’s health, but also makes the parents’ lives easier. While requirements vary from family to family, there are a few basics that are considered beneficial for young ones. Here are a few products we recommend: Health care products Every household needs quick and easy access to a first aid kit or health care kit. When you need it, it’s usually to attend to an immediate problem, meaning there’s no time to search around. First-time parents sometimes aren’t sure what exactly they’ll need for baby’s first aid kit, which is why it’s will be handy if you have a pre-packed kit filled with the basics. We recommend the Safety First Healthcare Kit (R289.99), an 11-piece kit containing all the basics you’ll need for baby’s basic health needs. From a nasal aspirator, to a digital thermometer, medicine dropper and soft grip toothbrush, this handy kit covers all the basics. Grooming products Babies might not need much grooming to start off with, but as soon as they’re a little bit older you’ll need to look into nail clippers, hairbrushes, and other basic grooming items. Like with a health care kit, it might be difficult for first-time parents to know exactly which items to buy. The Safety First Essential Grooming Kit (R229.95) is a handy 10-piece kit containing all the good quality basics you’ll need, such as a comb, hairbrush, nail clippers, nail files and more. Breast pump Breastfeeding moms know that there comes a time – be it when you return to work, or when you need to pop out – that a good quality breast pump becomes a lifesaver. Whether you pump because you can’t physically be with your baby to breastfeed, or whether it’s to allow dad and other family members to help out with feeding, many women find pumping easy and convenient – with the right pump, of course. Medela Harmony Essentials Pack (R999.95) combines everything moms need for breast milk pumping in one breast pump set. It comes complete with a silicone teat, four milk storage bags to store and freeze your milk, and four ultra-thin nursing pads: everything you need to express and store your breast milk and feed it to your baby. This single manual breast pump is perfect for moms who want to try out pumping, moms who express occasionally and need a lightweight travel companion, or moms who want a handy backup to their electric pump. Quality bottles On the days that you’re pumping, you’ll need some quality bottles with which to store your baby’s milk. It’s important to choose a brand that makes use of materials safe for baby, that’s convenient and durable. Medela Milk Storage Bottles 2-Pack (R339.99) are free from Bisphenol (BPA) for your baby’s health, dishwasher and microwave safe for your convenience and ideal for expressing, storing, freezing, and feeding breastmilk. A good quality multivitamin Let’s face it – most parents struggle to get their children to eat vegetables, and picky eaters often end up lacking many of the essential nutrients needed for healthy growth. This is where multivitamins come in. A good quality supplement contributes to the normal function of the immune systems and the normal function of many other systems in the body contributing to general wellbeing. We recommend: NutriPure Kids Multi-Vitamin Complete (R126.95) which is specially formulated in a tasty, soft, and chewy gummy, making taking vitamins fun and easy for children aged three and older. Each NutriPure Multi-Vitamin Complete gummy contains 11 essential vitamins and minerals: Vitamin D, B6, B12, C, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid and Niacin to help metabolize carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. An effective probiotic Probiotics are an essential supplement for all ages. A balanced intestinal micro-flora is highly important in keeping the body in healthy working order and is a key element in overall well-being. Plus, it helps us to better metabolize all the healthy nutrients we consume in foods. We recommend: NutriPure Kids Pro-Biotics (R139.95), which is formulated with Bifidobacterium infantis and Lactobacillus rhamnosus, two scientifically tested bacteria strains. Each NutriPure bear contains one billion live cultures to help your child boost his daily culture intake.
When observing a playground full of children, it is typical of the boys to be running and chasing each other noisily in large groups whilst the girls prefer to sit one on one, chatting and engaging in make believe games. When given the choice of toys the girls tend to gravitate towards dolls and soft toys, whereas the boys choose cars and blocks to build. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but it begs the question- are boys and girls brains ‘wired’ differently?
Spending time in the kitchen and baking using new recipes helps children to develop a positive connection to all different types of foods. Children will also learn basic cooking skills that they can use for the rest of their lives.
our children face many challenges and obstacles as they grow and are faced with what life has to offer. She adds, “Children who have been taught the skill of resilience, are able to bounce back from stress, challenges, tragedy, trauma and adversity in more effective ways than children who do not know how to be resilient. Resilient children are more adaptable, have greater courage and are more curious when facing the world around them.”
Let’s face it, growing up today is a completely different ball game to when you were young. It doesn’t matter if you’re in your late 20s or 30s and coming to grips with parenthood for the first time, or if you’re north of 50 and are a veteran of raising children, the fact remains. Kids today are living in a world wholly different to the one we developed in.
Have you ever gazed upon a giant oak tree? These majestic trees can grow as high as 21m and as wide as 3m! In fact, the tallest oak tree ever recorded was a whopping 44m high! Their branches extend for many metres, shading the earth from the hot sun in Summer and shedding their colourful leaves in the Autumn. It is interesting to note that the grandiose oak tree started life on earth as a tiny seed. The giant tap root system was the first part of the tree to emerge at germination – tiny at first, but continually expanding. It is from this giant tap root system that the magnificent oak tree receives all the water and nutrients that it needs to grow and develop to its full potential!
Helping shape your children’s behaviour and assisting them to be the best version of themselves, is a key part of being a parent. It can be difficult as well as rewarding. Here is some things to consider:
Teaching kids some basic financial principles should ideally form part of their upbringing. Short-term insurance is key among them, since it provides an important safety net that helps to secure your long-term well-being. It can be difficult to give up something when you do not see an immediate benefit, making short-term insurance (and most financial-must haves, for that matter) a difficult sell. But getting kids to understand it (particularly the patience it takes to stay covered), is a lesson worth learning. Here are some tips.
Encountering strangers, seeing a big dog for the first time or starting school are all situations which can induce fearful responses in children. Childhood fears and anxiety are not only normal but they are expected for each developmental age. This is because any perceived “threat” activates a fight-or-flight response in the body, which naturally serves to protect us from any harm or danger. This article looks at common childhood fears for each developmental age and offers tips on how you can help your child manage during those times. Babies and infants (0-2 years old) Newborn babies and infants tend to prefer their primary caregivers over unfamiliar faces and voices. Children in this age group tend to often experience stranger and separation anxiety—they shy away from people who they do not know and may even show fear towards them. You can help your child deal with this by: Comforting and soothing them to show them that they are safe in that moment. Helping them get to know the person while you are there (this will take some time). Teaching them that separation from you is temporary (peek-a-boo is a great example). Saying goodbye to your child instead of getting away when they are distracted— this can lead to mistrust. Toddlers and pre-schoolers (3-6 years old) Children this age have developed a very active imagination and create different scenarios all the time in their busy little minds. They also may show signs of separation anxiety (“What happens to my mommy when she’s not with me?”) and refuse to be alone or sleep alone. Toddlers also worry about the dark, bad dreams, monsters and ghosts, loud noises, bad guys and bugs or animals. Children this age also struggle when there are sudden and disruptive changes to their routine. You can help your child cope by: Listening to what they are scared of and helping them put their fear into words or through drawing. Helping your child face their fears (e.g., shop for a nightlight together or make a bottle of “monster spray”). Reassuring your child of real-life facts (e.g., there are policemen who protect us from bad guys). Positively reinforcing the bravery that they manage to show. Middle childhood (6-9 years old) School-going children often worry about this new experience—“What will it be like?”. For the first time they are put into a situation where they will have to navigate new experiences without you by their side. They are exposed to the “bigger, real” world and may worry about their teachers, them getting sick or hurt or traumatic situations they hear about. You can help your child cope by: Encouraging your child to talk about what they are thinking or feeling. Playing it out with them or reading stories with themes of risk and fear to normalise their feelings. Watching your child grow is often filled with moments of joy and celebration. Usually parents focus on physical milestones, such as rolling over, crawling and using the potty independently, which are important indicators of development. However, developing these abilities can also come with psycho-social and emotional challenges for children. child development By Reabetsoe Buys 44 Showing your child that they have the capacity to cope (by using examples of when they have shown this). Reassuring them to talk to a teacher if anything bothers them while they are at school. Pre-teens (10-12 years old) While children this age have pretty much figured out that monsters aren’t real, they tend to worry about things which can happen in real life. This includes being in danger, being caught in natural disasters or something bad happening to their parents. They may also worry about their school performance, fitting in with friends and their physical appearance. You can help your child cope by: Gathering facts with them—they love to learn! (e.g., the prevalence of natural disasters in the area you live). Helping them prepare for school-related things such as tests, presentations and performances. Being aware of what they are watching and listening to—is it appropriate? What is it exposing them to? Encouraging them to externalise their thoughts and feelings through writing, music or movement. Adolescence (13 years old+) Typically, teenagers become more peer-oriented. Therefore their concerns tend to be around peer perceptions, as well as their relationships with friends and romantic interests. They may also start to worry about “growing up”, global issues, their health and well-being, and their life purpose as an adult. You can help your child cope by: Encouraging them to talk about the challenges they are anticipating. Offering them the space to process their own thoughts and feelings (e.g., through journalling or art). Advising them that if they cannot talk to you about certain things, they should have a healthy network of people who they can talk to. Reinforcing positive behaviour, no matter how small. While some of these moments may feel challenging and overwhelming for you as a parent, remember that being consistent and open is what will allow your child to better manage with their own thoughts and feelings. They need to feel safe enough to feel what they need to feel without having to worry about upsetting you or anyone else. If your child’s worries increase in intensity, seem out of proportion to the situation or start to significantly interfere with their habits and functioning, it may help to consult with a professional who can offer guidance and support
Every 3 days a child is treated for serious dog bites. In 2020, 107 children were treated for dog bites and these children were between the ages of 5 and 12 years. During this month of April ChildSafe is encouraging all parents and dog owners to be aware of the risks involved with dog bites and to learn about ways they can protect children and their families from dog bite incidents. “Dog bites often happen during everyday activities among children and seniors,” says Yolande Baker, Executive Director, ChildSafe. “Certain situations can be more conducive to the risk of a dog bite. Protect your family and yourself by being familiar with preventive measures that will minimize the risk of a dog bite.” How can you protect your family Be cautious around strange dogs. Treat your own dog with respect. Because children are the most common victims of dog bites, parents and caregivers should: NEVER leave a baby or small child alone with a dog. Be alert for potentially dangerous situations. Teach children – including toddlers – to be careful around pets. Children must learn not to approach strange dogs or try to pet dogs through fences. Teach children to ask permission from the dog’s owner before petting the dog. What’s a dog owner to do? Carefully select your pet. Puppies should not be obtained on impulse. Make sure your pet is socialized as a young puppy, so it feels at ease around people and other animals. Do not put your dog in a position where it feels threatened or teased. Be calm. Always talk in a quiet voice or whisper, no shouting. Train your dog. Basic commands help dogs understand what is expected of them and help build a bond of trust between pets and people. Walk and exercise your dog regularly to keep it healthy and provide mental stimulation. Avoid highly excitable games like wrestling or tug of war. Use a leash in public to ensure you can control your dog. Keep your dog healthy. Have your dog vaccinated against rabies and other preventable infectious diseases. Parasite control and other health care are important because how your dog feels affect how it behaves. If you have a fenced yard, make sure your gates are secure. Neuter your pet. Approximately 92% of fatal dog attacks involved male dogs, 94 percent of which were not neutered. Dog bite emergencies If you are bitten, here is a checklist of things you should do: If the dog’s owner is present, request proof of rabies vaccination, and get the owner’s name and contact information. Clean the bite wound with soap and water as soon as possible. Consult your doctor immediately or go to the emergency room if it is after office hours. Contact the dog’s veterinarian to check vaccination records. For more information on prevention of dog bites, call ChildSafe at 021 685 5208 or please visit www.childsafe.org.za
Learning to count from one to ten, and later to a hundred, is an important milestone in early math development. However, it is equally important for young children to learn to understand the “how many-ness” or the value that every number represents. Teachers and therapists refer to this important school readiness skill as number concept. Grade R’s typically count to a hundred, but few truly understand the quantities that different numbers describe. In other words, many children freeze when you ask: “If you have six balls and your friend has eight balls, who has more?” Children who don’t understand the value of numbers will naturally not be able to conjure up a mental image of two sets of objects (in this case, a set of six balls and a set of eight balls) and then compare the sets against each other to determine which one of the two is bigger or smaller. And, as a result, they won’t be able to add and subtract with understanding. It’s important to play games with your child on three levels if you want him to develop a clear understanding of the value of different numbers. Firstly, use body movements to demonstrate numbers. Secondly, provide many opportunities for him to use his hands to handle and count off certain numbers of objects. And thirdly, make sure to include games that encourage your child to visualize different numbers of objects in his mind’s eye. You can, for instance, teach a three-year old to do the following: To include body movements, ask him to move (e.g. clap, jump or twirl) one, two or three times. To incorporate the handling of objects using his hands, you can ask him to hand you one, two or three of something whenever the opportunity pops up. To involve the mind’s eye, you can place a pile of single Lego blocks, 2-block-towers and 3-block-towers in a bag and then take turns with your child to use your sense of touch to find one of each number without looking. Then arrange your towers from one to three. Games should naturally become more challenging as a child grows older. However, the basic prerequisite for success remains unchanged throughout the first seven years: the more concrete (hands-on and tangible) the experience, the easier it is to learn. Children progress from concrete functioning to abstract reasoning as they enter primary school. Children function on a concrete level up to Grade R (where they still need to touch and handle tangible objects to discover and understand ideas about those objects) before moving on to being able to fully grasp unseen ideas on an abstract level in Grade 1. Most importantly, they need time and playful practice or else they won’t grow into being comfortable in the world of representations and symbols. It’s crucial for every Grade R learner to reach the point (by the end of the year) where he or she is able to picture an image in the mind’s eye of a number line. After throwing two dice, he should be able to name the number shown on any one of them at first glance (without counting), before shifting his attention to the second dice to “count on”. In other words, if the dice landed on three and four, he could look at one and say, three”, before pointing to each of the dots on the second dice as he counts on: “four – five – six – seven … it’s seven!” (Alternatively, he could choose to start with four, and then continue with “five – six – seven” on the second dice.) He should be able to arrange the numbers 1 to 10 in order, with each of them in its proper place, based on the value that it represents. When you point to any number from 1 to 9 on the number line, he should be able to name the number that is “one bigger” or “one smaller”. As he enters Grade 1, he can learn to do this without looking. What can I expect from my child at every age along the way? Toddlers discover the meaning of “one and many” during the second year of life. Two-year olds usually learn to rote count to three and you can teach them to hand you either one or two toys. Three-year olds can be expected to count to five and they understand the concepts of one, two and three well enough to be able to hand you that many of an object. Well-developing four-year olds can be expected to rote count to 10 and count off any number of objects from 1 to 5. Most five-year olds can count to 20 and have a real understanding of numbers up to 10. Finally, a six-year old should be able to count to 100 (also in tens), count off any number of objects between 1 and 20 and arrange the numbers from 1 to 10 in order to build a number line. Learning to work with numbers is much like learning to speak a special kind of language. Learning the language of mathematics is largely about getting better at understanding the properties of numbers and recognizing relationships and patterns ever more quickly. Naturally, acquiring these skills takes time simply because learning a new language always involves building new brain wiring. Ultimately, you want your child to reach a point where navigating around in the world of numbers will become second nature to him – like a golfer’s swing. Any kind of math play is better than none, but if you want your child to benefit optimally, you’ll need to play as many age-appropriate games as possible at home from toddler stage, and repeat them often. This article is written by: The Practica Programme is a comprehensive research- and play-based home programme. This unique system has stood the test of time since 1993, and it comprises of a wooden box with specialized apparatus, parents’ guides, an advisory service and educational newsletters. From birth to 23 months of age, parents choose from a balanced selection of more than 1000 activities to develop the 14 fundamental skills age-appropriately. For children between 2 and 7 years, the 50 school readiness skills are divided into 6 groups and tackled systematically, year by year, with 10- to 20-minute games that can be adapted to a child’s level of functioning.
Children read a lot more than you may think. Every subject your child studies in school requires reading comprehension and retention. Whether it is math, history or science, reading retention is critical to success. Here are some ways you can help your child grow and develop solid reading-retention skills. Start Early Remember, a child’s listening skills are years ahead of their reading skills. Beginning readers can still practice comprehension and retention skills. An easy way to do this is by inserting an extra step into an already existing nightly routine: bedtime stories. As you read your child a bedtime story, take note of some key story lines or events. When the story is over, you can ask your child, “Do you remember how Sam-I-Am finally got his friend to try green eggs and ham? Did he try them in a house? Did he try them with a mouse?” Even though your child is not reading for retention at this level, he or she is still learning to comprehend and retain ideas. Practice and Improve Like any skill, reading comprehension and retention require practice. Board games offer an opportunity for children to read instructions and rules that test their retention skills in a fun way. Try to find a game that your family has never played. Read the rules first to understand how the game works. After you grasp the rules, ask your children to read them. When they’re finished, ask them to explain the rules to you before you begin. For families with more than one child, this exercise can provide a unique perspective on how each child understands what he or she has read. One child may see the game in one light, while another will view the rules completely differently. Listening to your child explain the rules will identify comprehension strengths and challenges as you learn the new rules together. After everyone understands the rules, game on! Encourage Self-Correction When your child shows signs of confusion or frustration with a homework assignment, encourage them to reread the material before explaining the problem to you. In the interest of saving time, you may lean toward explaining the problem yourself. While this may be easier, letting your child self-correct builds their problem-solving skills. Guide your young child toward understanding the problem independently. After conquering the problem on their own, your child will have more self-confidence for the next challenge and greater pride in being able to tackle the problem independently. Reading is one of the most valuable tools in your child’s academic tool belt. Understanding and retaining the material are just as critical as the skill of reading itself. Encouraging the development of this crucial skill will set the stage for a lifetime of success. The Kumon English Programme is designed to build the critical reading skills that will help your child develop a lifelong love of reading – and a solid foundation for academic success. Building strong reading comprehension from an early age will prepare your child to advance through primary school with confidence and appreciation for learning. When you enrol in the Kumon English Programme, the Kumon Instructor will assess your child’s current reading skills and introduce the appropriate level of Kumon Reading Worksheets. This provides just the right start for building comprehension and writing skills. As each worksheet is completed, you’ll see your child building a stronger vocabulary, a more thorough understanding of the proper use of grammar, and an ability to interpret content. This, together with enjoying books from the Kumon Recommended Reading List, enhances your child’s appreciation for and understanding of the English language and helps to develop a lifelong love for reading. For more information you can visit our website on kumon.co.za This article is from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/develop-your-childs-reading-retention-skills-2/
Young children can be burnt very quickly, and this often happens when an adult is present, so it is important to be alert. An electrical burn happens when a child touches or comes into contact with an electric current. The current passes through the child’s body and can damage organs and tissues. Damage can be mild or severe – and it can even cause death. Last year, the Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital alone, treated 880 children for burns, the most common (733 children) was caused by hot liquids (such as hot water, drinks and food). A large number of the cases were treated for electrical burns. During the period between January and February in 2020 there were 5 cases treated for electrical burns. In 2021, this number has doubled to 10 cases. “Recently, we have been seeing far more electrical injuries than usual. This may be related to children spending more time at home due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. These injuries often involve the hands, resulting in severe injuries with permanent loss of function. Care givers need to remain vigilant at all times”, said Gary Dos Passos, Head of Burns Unit, Red Cross War Memorial Children’s Hospital. “Most burn injuries can be avoided. Most of the burns happen in the home, specifically the kitchen. A first step to preventing burns is to make sure that the home environment is safe. Children are not always able to know when something is dangerous, so parents can start by checking every room in the house for possible burn risks to children. Electric shocks from appliances and electrical outlets and cords can burn the skin and cause tissue and nerve damage”, said Yolande Baker, Executive Director of ChildSafe. Electricity can cause different types of skin burns, depending on which skin layers are affected. The terms doctors use to describe different types of burns are: Superficial – A superficial burn affects only the top layer of the skin. The skin is red, dry, and painful. When you press on the burn, it turns white. Partial-thickness – A partial-thickness burn affects the top 2 layers of the skin. The skin is red and can leak fluid or form blisters. Full-thickness – A full-thickness burn affects all the layers of the skin. The burn does not usually hurt, because the burned skin cannot feel anything. The skin can be white, grey, or black. Here are a few safety tips for parents and caregivers to keep all children safe from electrical burns. ALWAYS: Cover unused electrical outlets with safety covers. Unplug electrical cords that are not in use, keeping electrical cords, power plugs and electrical equipment away from children. Keep electrical appliances away from sinks and bathtubs. Turn off electrical equipment that is not being used. Teach children to stay away from electrical sub-stations, electrical wires ate ground level and electrical fencing. NEVER: Overload power points or run electrical wires under carpets. Use unsafe or illegal electrical connections. Allow children to play with power points or electrical equipment. Repair faulty plugs and frayed cords immediately. For more information on injury prevention, call ChildSafe at 021 685 5208 or please visit www.childsafe.org.za
UNICEF South Africa released a study that 70% of children surveyed use the Internet without parental consent. “The Disrupting Harm Study released in 2022 showed that 70% of children surveyed in South Africa use the Internet without parental consent and risky online behaviour can expose them to online violence, exploitation, and abuse. The online world is also increasingly intertwined with everyday life offline.” Having an open relationship with your child’s online behaviour has been identified as a core pillar to protecting them when they go online. As parents, we can monitor their activity, we do have eyes at the back of our heads. We can implement child-friendly browsers on our devices, and we can even set an alarm clock to stop their time online and set boundaries. All of these are great and should be done to protect your child when they go online. Thanks to many hours of global best practice research and 20 years of digital and parenting experience, this program was designed to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is dedicated to educating children to self-regulate, self-recognise, communicate, and educate parents on how to manage this maze of information. The parental guides have been designed in a way that makes it easy to navigate, and we’ve collated global best practices and professional advice, to give parents a concise summary of how to protect their children and keep the conversations going well into their teens. Twenty minutes a week, with your child over 5 weeks, is all it will take. If you don’t have the time Miss Nadie and Codey have dedicated jump in and out supervised online classes every day of the week, to help you out when things get busy. Can you afford not to start the conversations now, while they will still want to listen to you? Register today. https://bit.ly/3njBqid
They say half of the time we function on autopilot whilst 90% of our purchasing decisions are done on autopilot. In other words we are not consciously thinking about what we are doing or why we are doing those things. They have become habitual. For example: Think about when you brush your teeth or your morning routine each day when you wake up. The route you drive to or from home and work each day. Have there been times when you can’t remember how you got to a place or walked into a room and forgot what you were going to do? This is because we are not consciously thinking about our actions and thoughts – we are on autopilot. This happens daily with tasks we perform, the way we interact with others, our reactions, our behaviours, things we hold onto from the past and even some of our beliefs. It has become so ingrained in us over the years that we have not stopped to consider whether those things are still relevant, serve us positively or whether there is possibly something new or different we could consider instead. We lose out on so much as we are unaware of what is going on around us. We miss the signs and messages – both verbal and non-verbal. A wounded glance, reactive tone of voice, hurt eyes, dejected or closed off body language. We even miss the beauty in everything due to our presence being elsewhere instead of enjoying the moment for what it is – the here and now. Living mindfully present is important to the quality of the lives we live. Being mindful of our own thoughts, actions and behaviours and the impact they have on others around us. Being fully present in the moment and giving others our undivided attention and efforts is a gift. So how do we become more mindful? It’s a daily practice that takes time to master and should be viewed as learning a new skill just the same as learning to read or write. It starts with becoming aware of our own ‘self’ – how we talk to ourselves, the words we use, the language we speak. Often we are our own worst critic and berate ourselves harshly. The more we tell ourselves stories, the stronger they become until they take on a life of their own and become the path we live by. When our self awareness grows, we become aware of our own thoughts and behaviours as well as the impact we are having on others and they are having on us. In other words we are fully present in the moment and aware of what we are doing as well as of what is happening around us. We can sense when we are not being authentic and sincere just as much as we can sense when others are not. Yet often we choose to ignore this. We know when we are being true to ourselves and living our truth vs. compromising our own values and personal boundaries and the consequences that come with this. Some like to mediate, others like to unwind in the mountains or near the sea whilst some like to partake in an activity – each with the purpose of connecting us to ourselves, feeding our soul and feeling alive, like we have a purpose. It does not matter what you do so long as you do it. With a heightened sense of awareness, we are able to be more creative, positive, solution oriented, peace loving and kind for the benefit of all and mankind. Reflection time: Can you think of words or phrases you often use when speaking to or about yourself? Are they positive and uplifting or critical and faultfinding? Can you remember a situation where you may not have been fully present and aware of your actions? If you think back to that time now, can you see the different ways your actions may have been interpreted by others? Would your actions have a positive or negative impact on others? Is there one thing you can start doing differently today to raise your levels of self awareness? Look for the good and positive in everyone and every situation because it is there if you dare to try. The intention we set for ourselves is the intention by which we live and treat others. Make yours a positive and uplifting one.
Many of my clients come to me complaining that their children simply do not do what they’re told, are unmanageable, and are following the ‘wrong’ path in life. What this tells me is a lot about the parent, and very little indeed about the child. We all give away through they way that we speak and the things that we focus on what is important to us. But how often do we stop to find out what is important to someone else, particularly with our children. As much as we have hopes and desires for our kids, they have these for themselves too. What we tend to do is praise and emphasise those things that they love that fit in with our own priorities for them and ignore or ridicule those that are outside of our own value system. In doing so we impose our own set of values and dreams onto our children and then wonder why they eventually rebel and become totally in-compliant. Most parents, if they took the time and care to notice, would find it easy to tell you what is important to their kids, and yet they place very little importance on this themselves. When we stop to respect our children as real, complete human beings as they are, we enter a whole new world of relationship with them. Think about it – you wouldn’t tell your friends what job they should do or who they should be friends with or what they should be eating for dinner, right? Understanding your children’s dreams, goals and priorities instead of ignoring them can actually make your parenting journey much easier. Whatever it is that you want them to do, you simply find a way to link it to what is already important to them. For example if you want your child to bath and their highest priority is to play, then instead of saying “get in the bath now”, say “it’s time to go and play in the bath – which toys would you like to bring?” Or, for example, if you want your child to eat vegetables and their highest priority is dinosaurs, then call the broccoli “dinosaur trees” or talk about which dinosaurs would have eaten each part of the meal that is currently on their plate. If you want your soccer star to focus more on maths, point out how by learning maths he will have an advantage over the other players by understanding how to score goals by focusing on the angle between himself, the ball and the net. It may take a bit of time and practice, but I guarantee that linking what your child loves to everything they need to do makes parenting easier in the long run. Children feel heard and understood and they see that you are respecting what is important to them. They see the connections between what you want them to do and what they want for themselves instead of seeing your view as an imposition. I believe that every human being, regardless of their age, should have their values and dreams respected. The sooner that parents and teachers stop imposing their views onto the children in their care and instead link their values to those of the kids, the sooner we’ll find happy children, living their dreams AND complying with their caregivers.
Weighing up the best after-school option for your child “Mothers staying at home with their children is simply no longer the viable option of years past,” says Tiffiny Thomas from Blue Bird Aupairs. As a result, parents are left with the critical decision of what to do with their precious assets in the afternoons – do they send them to aftercare or do they get an aupair? “There is no black and white when it comes to choosing an after-school solution for your child as things like budget, schedules, ages and personality need to be taken into consideration,” explains Tiffiny. She adds that even once you have made your decision, circumstances may change and you may need to seek the alternative which is why it is important to keep an open mind and make sure that you know what the pros and cons of each option are. Aftercare Pros Children get to interact with their friends in an informal surrounding If the aftercare is part of the school, they can take part in extra-mural school sports Food and snacks are generally included in the cost of aftercare If the aftercare is based at their school, your child will not have to travel on the roads without you Aftercare cons Very little (or no) supervised homework which then needs to be done in the evenings when your child is tired and less likely to concentrate Aftercare generally does not cover school holidays A full day at school can leave your child irritable and exhausted No personal, hands-on love and care Pros of an aupair Your child will get plenty of one-on-one love, care and attention An aupair can do homework with your child and spend extra time of subjects they may battle with, doubling up as a tutor Aupairs can transport your child to and from various after-school activities, which is a great help for parents (and children) with busy or unpredictable schedules and extra-mural activities that are off campus An aupair can double up as a baby sitter during the holidays Cons of an aupair It can take time for your child to get to know your aupair Not all aupairs have formal early childhood training You will need to make sure that the fridge is stocked up for afternoon lunches and be prepared to pay for other additional costs like petrol “It is important to remember that no two aftercares (or aupairs!) are the same!” says Tiffiny. She adds that you should ask lots of questions for clarity and also make sure that you align your budget in terms of what you are able/willing to spend on a monthly basis for after-school care. “Both options can be affordable, provided you shop around,” she concludes.
More and more research points towards the importance of sleep for children’s health, academic performance, and behaviour. Although this may seem apparent, many of us actually do not allow our children to get the critical sleep they need to develop and function properly. It’s certainly not something we do on purpose. But with parents working long hours, packed school schedules, after-school activities, and other lifestyle factors, naps are missed, bedtimes are pushed back, mornings start earlier and nights may be anything but peaceful. Missing naps or going to bed a little late may not seem like a big deal, but it all adds up, with consequences that may last a lifetime. “Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm. It recharges your brain’s battery, increasing one’s brainpower and attention span, as well as allowing you to be physically relaxed and mentally alert at the same time. Then and only then can you function at your personal best.” as stated by Paediatrician Marc Weissbluth. Signs of sleep-related problems may show up in a number of ways with kids, including daytime sleepiness, weakened immune systems, inattention, poor concentration, moodiness, behavioural problems, weight gain, irregular social skills and poor academic performance. According to Dr Avi Sadeh, a loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to the loss of two years of cognitive maturation and development. To understand the critical nature of sleep to our children’s growth and development, let’s take a look at the essentials needed for healthy sleep and what interventions we can put in place in our homes to encourage better sleep routines. Essentials of Healthy Sleep Healthy sleep allows for optimal alertness when we are awake. This is the state in which we are most receptive to and interactive with our environment – when our attention span is at its best and the most learning can occur. You can see this in a child who is calm and attentive, pleasant, wide eyed, absorbing everything, and socially interacts with ease. Altered states of alertness interfere with a child’s learning and behaviour. Healthy sleep thus requires: Sufficient amounts of sleep to grow, develop, and function optimally. How much is right for your child varies by age. Uninterrupted (good quality) sleep allows good growth and development of the body’s nervous system. The proper number of age-appropriate naps optimize alertness, learning and development. Naps serve a different purpose to that of night time sleep, but are as important. Thus timing is essential, making sure they are planned and in sync with your child’s natural biological rhythms. A sleep schedule that is in sync with the child’s natural biological rhythms(internal clock or circadian rhythm). This allows for effective restoration and long term memory development, but being out of sync can lead to difficulty falling asleep or simply staying awake. Children then become overly tired and stressed. So it is important your child’s sleep needs are met and that you adjust your schedule to be in sync with theirs. If, over time, any of these essentials are not optimal, symptoms of sleep deprivation and fatigue may occur. How can we help our kids get the proper amount of sleep? Limit bedtime activities- a routine of relaxing activities like reading or listening to classical music can help most children sleep better. Make sure all electronics are removed to avoid further stimulation. Establish a sleep schedule- similar to routine activities, experts recommend consistent times to go to sleep and wake, ideally not differing much during the week or on weekends. Create a Conducive Environment- children will sleep faster and deeper when the room is dark, quiet and cool. Promote Regular Exercise- A minimum of 60 minutes of physical activity for children each day can yield many benefits, including better sleep. Limit Caffeine- it’s advisable to limit all forms of caffeine, particularly late in the day, which includes tea, soda and chocolate. Avoid late afternoon or Early Evening naps- later naps can result in later bedtimes and less critical sleep for older children. As parents, it is our responsibility to be sensitive to and protect our children’s sleep, just as we do their safety. We are primarily responsible for their sleep habits so it is important to start healthy ones early; it is much easier to instil good habits than correct bad ones. Thus infuse the importance of sleep with daily attention to it and you will likely have a happier, self-assured, less demanding, and more sociable child. And who knows, you might just get some more sleep yourself! Written By: Danielle Forsyth (Trinityhouse Heritage Hill, Educational Psychologist)
What is Decision-Making? Decision making is an invaluable skill, especially when your children start to make independent choices. It is an ability that benefits throughout their lives. More often, it will be their independent choices which will determine the course of their lives. Decision-making is about assessing all the options available, being aware of the situation within and around you. Thus, for children to become good at decision-making, they need to learn how to assess the possibilities, be self-aware about what they need, and understand the situation they are in. For many people, both young and adults making a decision is one of the hardest and complicated things in life, as it involves numerous aspects for consideration. Many times due to a lack of self-awareness, people remain confused throughout their lives and often end up making poor choices. Considering the dynamic environment of the 21st Century and exposure to technology from an early age, thus instilling the quality of making good decisions among children is imperative. Every small or big decision an individual makes has the potential to change his/her life. “Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. “- Tony Robbins (American Author, Coach, Speaker) What are the essential skills for effective decision-making? The ability to make sound decisions requires a wide variety of skills. Below are the skills that are crucial to make your child an effective Decision-maker: Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ability to think judiciously and reasonably without being affected by anything or anyone. It is an art of analyzing something with an unbiased mindset. Effective decision-making requires critical thinking over all the possible alternatives. Individuals need to analyze the cause and effect relationship to ensure that the selected alternative has minimum or no negative impacts. Critical Thinking will enable your child to make an informed decision. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is the ability to solve problems effectively. Problem-solving skills are the basis for improvement and innovation. Children need to incorporate problem-solving skills to become a good decision-maker. Problem solving also requires critical thinking, but in addition, it is also about understanding the problem. As often, the solution is hidden within the problem itself. Creativity: Creativity is all about mixing originality with uniqueness. Creative Thinking helps us to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, decisions are to be made regarding such aspects where there is no way to know which possibility or decision is the right one. Creativity will enable your child to make sound decisions in unforeseen situations. When the logical or traditional aspects do not make sense, it is the creativity of a person that comes into play. It can be an out-of-the-box idea or an unorthodox approach to seeing things from a different perspective. “Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.”- Malcolm Gladwell Logical Reasoning: Reasoning is concerned with analyzing a problem in a logical manner to draw conclusions. It helps to identify the reason behind anything and approach towards our assessment of things logically. Sound decisions are an outcome of logical reasoning. Reasoning will help your child to assess the pros and cons of the decision they intend to make. Thinking logically and reasonably ensures that foolish options are set aside straightaway during the decision-making process. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the ability to understand and influence others’ emotions. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. There are times when we have to make hard decisions. This is when emotional Intelligence plays its role. Emotional Intelligence will help your children to manage their sentiments while making harsh decisions. Time Management: Time management is the ability to prioritize activities based on the available time. There are times when the decision is required to be taken time bound as well. In such a situation, the assessment of possible options, understanding of the situation, etc. is to be done within that time frame. When a child knows how to manage his/her time, the ability to take time-bound decisions improves. How can you improve Decision-making skills? Decision-making is one of the most significant and beneficial life skills in the 21st Century. Acquiring Decision-making skills also contributes to improving a child’s leadership ability. Decisions can transform our lives beyond imagination. Therefore, you must help your child in developing decision-making skills. Encourage Decision Making: During the day to day life, you can get multiple situations when you can allow your child to make a decision. The more opportunity a child will get to make decisions; the more his/her decision-making skills will improve. Ask Questions: Talk to your children about their thought process behind making a decision. See how they are evaluating various possibilities, in case you see one or more possibility was ignored, then ask them ‘what if this happened?’ Pay attention to how they respond and guide them in those aspects where there is a need for improvement. Discuss Your Process of Decision Making: Share with your children an incident of your life where you had to make a tough decision. Explain to them what was going on in your mind, what were the different aspects you took into consideration, etc. This way, they would feel more comfortable asking you for guidance for any of their decision. Involvement: If a certain situation in your house requires a decision to be made, make your children part of the discussion. The more involved they become, the more connected they would feel with the situation, putting them in a mindset of thinking and assessing the situation. More importantly, they would also learn from you, and they might even give you some valuable points to consider. “Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” – Jun Camp The world needs proficient Decision-makers for a bright future. Developing this skill within a child from an early age is crucial for the overall development. Creating a better generation then themselves is a responsibility of each generation. And this responsibility starts with parents itself.
Play skills, similar to other developmental skills, progress in complexity with time and practice. Caregiver support and their role in nurturing a child’s free play skills changes and evolves throughout the play stages. Free play allows for the development of various physical, cognitive, language and socio-emotional skills, but also contributes greatly to children’s health and well-being. Free play, with minimal adult interference, will provide them with the opportunity to work on various skills including: problem solving, creative thinking, flexible thinking, initiative and grit, self-regulation skills, working memory, sustained focus, physicality and can provide them with an opportunity to have some quiet time to soothe and calm themselves. Free play with a playmate can further see them developing various socio-emotional skills including: self-expression, negotiation, compromise, perspective taking and empathy. Important skills for the future, wouldn’t you say…? Some children are natural players, skilled at independent free play and can shift easily between free play, screens and other home activities and tasks. Other children, however, may need more support and guidance to help them to play more independently and become captains of their own play adventures. During free play a child can create, direct and adapt the play activity and play script as they engage in their play adventure. Free play is intrinsically motivated, spontaneous, not limited by a certain set of rules or directives and not necessarily reality bound. If you have a little one that requires support in developing their free play skills, have a look at some of my top tips for free play: Make free play part of your daily routine. Create a safe and calm play space, preferably screen free, that won’t interfere with the flow of their play. Don’t overwhelm with too many toys and objects. Rotate items in boxes and containers, keep a few favourites close and include open ended toys and objects, such as wooden blocks or empty boxes. After your child chooses a play prompt (or you have provided them with a few choices), allow them time and space for their idea to form. Don’t be too quick to offer your own ideas and try to limit the “adult agenda” when it comes to free play. Offer encouragement and support, but try not to ask too many questions at the start while their idea is developing. Children need a longer time to process information and for their ideas to take shape. Asking too many questions too early on may discourage them. For more tips, information and demonstrations on developing and supporting play throughout the play stages as well as other areas of child development, come join our online PlayMore platform. Visit: www.playmoreot.com or our social media platforms @playmoreot on Instagram and Playmoreot on Facebook for more information. Let’s PlayMore! Anandé from PlayMore
We all have a need to love and be loved. Our lives feel happier and more fulfilled when we enjoy positive human relationships. Having friends who we can laugh and cry with, be serious or a little crazy with, and with whom we can feel completely comfortable is one of the most fundamentally important needs of the human race. This is why it feels so heart-breaking when we discover that our children may be struggling to make friends at school. Cindy Glass, Co-founder and Director of afterschool remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centre says “There are a number of reasons why a child may struggle to form positive friendships – negative behavioural choices, low self-esteem, personality differences, differing belief systems and unintentionally negative body language or tone of voice. Escapism from social interactions through over-use of technology also plays a big role in this!” “We need to note that all behavioural choices are based on how we feel about ourselves as a person and the inevitable fears that dominate these beliefs. Creating meaningful personal relationships is rooted in positive self-belief. Negative, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours often repel friendships and, unfortunately, this re-enforces the feelings of unworthiness and low self-value that created the negative behaviours in the first place” Cindy goes on to say. If your child is struggling to form friendships, you may want to consider the following helpful tips: 1. Ensure that you keep the lines of non-judgemental communication open. Chat about what happens at school, openly and honestly. Emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness and self-regulation are key here! Make sure that you do not re-enforce your child’s belief that he/she is less! Focus on their strengths and what others will like about them. They may, indeed, be a little different, but never less! 2. Chat to your child’s teacher with the aim of gaining a deeper understanding of your child’s behaviours at school. 3. Friendships cannot be forced. It takes positive mind-set and behavioural changes in your child if changes are to be enjoyed at school. Teach your child to focus on his/her choices and not on the choices of others. It takes patience and time but you will be amazed at the results! 4. People enjoy the company of positive happy individuals. Teach your child the joys of uplifting others. This will change the energy that your child gives off and other children will start looking to your child for a friendship that feels good to be in. 5. Emotional intelligence’s empathy and social skills will play a vital role in changing the way your child perceives himself/herself to be. Invest in these courses! “Finally, remember that children copy your actions, not your words! Set the example of how to treat others in positive, uplifting ways. Teach your children to own who they are-mistakes and all- and to value others because they value themselves first!” Cindy concludes.
Choosing a baby sitter for your children can be a very daunting task. You need to find someone trustworthy, who is the right fit for your children.
When the new baby comes home, the joy and excitement can lead to the first born child (or even just older children) feeling somewhat “dethroned” and ignored. When this occurs, it is common to see changes in that child’s behaviour; they may begin to feel jealousy toward the new arrival and in some cases, may even strike out to hurt them. Others may simulate being a baby once again by crying, talking ‘baby talk,’ and even having wetting accidents. Your challenge is to find creative ways for oldest children to feel different from their siblings and to develop a sense of value to the family by implementing the following ideas: The first tip is the BIG BROTHER or BIG SISTER buttons available at most party supply stores. They were intended to make the first born child feel special when the new baby comes home, but I love the idea so much I encourage parents to use it beyond just that one special time. Find creative ways for the oldest child to assist with the new sibling, but never leave them alone with the baby. They may be able to sing to the baby, help with the bath, or be helpful in collecting items needed for the baby’s care at the moment. Carve out time to have one-on-one time alone with the other child(ren). Set up visual schedules or timers so the older child can have something to watch for to know when their special time is approaching. You may even want to consider having special toys that only come out when mom must attend to the baby. Explore holding family meetings once a week, especially if you have school age children or older. It will promote a sense of importance among all the children and will help them feel a greater sense of respect from the parent(s). The meetings can be held on the same night of the week and everyone should be included. If one person leaves the meeting, it’s over until the next meeting. Other tips for the family meeting include keeping them brief, making them fun, and being consistent, especially if some of your children are younger. It is helpful to have everyone sitting in a circle and do your best to avoid answering the door or telephone. Doing so sends a message that the family is more important than anything else. If the oldest child can write, I suggest introducing the role of THE SCRIBE, the person who serves as the meeting secretary and takes the notes of what was decided and what was said. Preserved in a tin box in my closet is a folder of meeting minutes that were taken by my oldest child throughout the years of our family meetings. The lists of rules and decisions are presented in perfect penmanship in red crayon on white-lined paper. These documents are more valuable to me than any historical parchment paper documents I could ever own. The next time you’re facing challenging behaviour, check to see if it happens to be your oldest child. Perhaps they are trying to tell you that they don’t feel so special anymore and just need some encouragement that they still matter to you.
One of the best ways to build up a sense of independence is to make choices. When we make our own choices, we feel some sense of control. With frequent opportunities to make our own decisions we begin to think of ourselves as ‘in power’ of at least parts of our lives. The same rings true for our youngsters. Making choices is not just an essential life skill for them, but Dr Erin Leyba says it builds respect, strengthens community, invites cooperation, develops problem-solving skills and capitalises on children’s basic human need to feel in control. How do we go about creating confident decision makers? It is a question of practice makes perfect. As many skills, you do not achieve success in the first round. By including simple choices throughout the day, your toddler will learn that he can have a say in what he chooses to eat for snack time (would you like an apple or banana?) or what to wear to school (would you like to wear the green or blue sweater today?). Here are a few golden rules to consider as you work your way to a stress-free day and empower your child to make choices on the road to becoming a confident decision maker: Choices must be limited. Offering too many options may create anxiety therefore keep it simple. Certain routine tasks are tricky especially when it comes to brushing teeth. Offer them a choice of toothbrush: would you like to use the green dinosaur or your shaking Spiderman toothbrush? Strawberry flavoured or minty toothpaste today? Sometimes adults need to tell children that there is no choice. When safety or health is at risk, it is important for the adult to say, “Choosing not to brush your teeth is not an option.” Choices must be honoured. Do not offer a choice that you cannot honour. The choices must be authentic. If you offer your two children an option of two stories, inevitably, one will choose the first story and the other child will choose the second story. This is not what you need at the end of the long day. Resolve this by offering each child the choice of story on alternate nights. Avoid being too indulgent and child-centered. “Anything you want my darling” does not offer a child sufficient boundaries that they require to feel safe which in turn is essential to developing self-assurance. As parents we are exhausted at the end of the day, it might feel like you have been in a boxing ring with your toddler. Offer them choices that will make them feel empowered and make feel like their opinions and feelings are of significance. By Bonita Nel, teacher at Pecanwood College
