Parenting - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Purposeful Parenting: Up your game with goal-setting

We set goals for all sorts of things in life (get a degree by 25, save up to buy a car, lose 10 kilograms this year…), but few people ever put clear parenting goals in place. Yet, raising children is one of the most important missions you will ever have on earth. Often this lack of purposefulness is because our main goal as parents is simply to “survive this day”! On the other hand, many of us have the undefined and soul-torturing “goal” of being the “perfect parent” and end up living with constant feelings of failure. Having vague, unreachable goals or none at all make us lose track of the bigger picture of where we would actually like to guide our children. If you cannot recall any actual parenting goals you have set for yourself, maybe it is time to get focused and go further. Here are some areas you could consider: Health goals Could you work on improving your child’s diet? Should your child be getting more exercise or less screen time? Well-defined goals would be: “Only one television episode a day – no exceptions!” or “protein breakfasts instead of sugar-filled cereal every day”. Relationship goals Are you satisfied with your relationship with your child? Are you “missing” each other or fighting all the time? Set goals for how you can improve your bond – even if it is already good. For example: “One hour of phone-free, undivided attention every day”. Discipline goals What behaviours need to be changed or developed in your child? How are you enforcing this? Do you discipline fairly and consistently? Do you effectively make use of incentives? (And this is where most of us sigh in despair.) Monkey-see-monkey-do goals We often need to work on ourselves if we want to “work” on our children. (Another sigh of despair, right?) Yes, kids were invented to help us grow up. What do you need to change? Quit smoking? Stop losing your temper in a spectacular fashion and then wondering why your child does the same? Is your low self-esteem rubbing off on your daughter? Change is hard and humbling and not something you can do without solid support and accountability, but it is so worth it – for yourself and your children! Prioritise your own growth and get the help you need. Child development goals Don’t worry – we are not about to suggest that you enrol your two-year-old in five different extracurricular activities or that you should aim to breed a wunderkind. We are simply saying that you might want to evaluate whether your child is cognitively, socially, emotionally and physically more or less on track (and outsiders are often better at doing this, so you might want to brave up and invite some criticism from trustworthy mentors…). Where there is a need, spend extra time with your child working on this area without pushing or seeming disappointed. Make it fun. For example: if your child’s speech is lacking, making a point of reading stories and talking together frequently. Spiritual and moral goals This might look different for different people, but have you thought about the belief system and moral guidelines you want to impart to your children? They will inevitably believe something and have some sort of moral compass and if you are not instilling it, someone else will surely fill in the gap! What are you doing to build your child’s worldview? What harmful influences do you need to limit? As you are setting your goals, remember to keep it: relevant (in line with your child’s actual wellbeing and your family’s uniqueness – do not compare with any “ideal”!), realistic and practical (in your own and your child’s reach), well-defined. Lastly, do not become so goal-oriented that you forget to indulge in this lovely – and yes, often chaotic – season of childrearing.

March 14, 2017

Reasons You’re Tired ALL the Time

Do you ask yourself, “Why am I so tired?” Do you feel like no matter how much sleep you get, you’re still tired all the time? Feeling exhausted is so common these days that it has its own acronym, TATT, which stands for “tired all the time”. Tiredness is one of the most common complaints at any given time, one in five people feels unusually tired, and one in 10 have prolonged fatigue, according to experts. Tiredness can often be attributed to sleeping too little, but if you are reaching that eight hour threshold and still feeling exhausted, your low energy level may be an indicator of an underlying problem. Let’s find out why you’re always tired. BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE Chances are if you’re always tired, your blood sugar has something to do with it. One of the biggest risk factors for feeling tired all the time is being a “carboholic,” meaning someone who overeats refined carbs and sugary foods. This same person also doesn’t acquire enough healthy fats, proteins, vegetables and essential nutrients that support ongoing energy. Blood sugar levels become unbalanced when your diet is too high in various forms of sugar, which enters the bloodstream rapidly and can cause extreme elevations in blood glucose as well as insulin levels. This puts you on a “sugar high” followed by a “sugar crash”…..which lead to fluctuations in blood sugar and feelings of fatigue, headaches, moodiness, hormonal changes and food cravings. Over time, imbalances in blood sugar can cause serious diseases like insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes. In the case of insulin resistance, the hormone insulin isn’t able to get nutrients, particularly glucose, into the body’s cells. Since your cells aren’t properly absorbing blood sugar, they can’t transfer energy throughout the body sufficiently. High insulin also creates inflammation which can prevent healing, confuse your body, and affect energy levels. The Fix: To get blood sugar levels back under control, you’ll need to really reduce, or even to completely eliminate, all sources of refined sugar from your diet. These include fizzy cool drinks, energy drinks, sweetened coffee or tea, fruit juice, packaged snacks like all cookies, cakes, some cereals and jelly sweets. Even natural sweeteners like raw honey, can still affect blood sugar levels. Also consider reducing your total carbohydrate intake – choose low glycaemic index carbohydrates and combine where possible with protein to ensure stable blood glucose levels. If you are concerned about your blood sugar levels and the possibility of being insulin resistant or even perhaps being diabetic then there are blood tests that can be done to confirm a diagnosis. ANEMIA One of the most common medical reasons for feeling constantly run down is iron deficiency anemia. Anemia occurs when there’s a problem with red blood cells making hemoglobin, a protein that carries oxygen throughout the body, especially to the brain where it is much needed. Anemia is connected to insufficient iron levels within the blood, in addition to low vitamin B12 and folate levels. Anemia can also be caused by a loss of blood or a diet that’s too low in those essential nutrients and, thus, hinder the body’s ability to make enough hemoglobin. Women with heavy periods and pregnant women as well as vegetarians are especially prone to anemia. To diagnose anemia, blood tests would be required. Do check iron stores as well as folate and vitamin B12 – not just hemoglobin! This is very important before taking an iron supplement since unnecessarily high levels of iron could interfere with the body’s ability to absorption other important nutrients such as zinc and calcium. The Fix Eat a vitamin-rich diet! Anemia symptoms can be greatly reduced by improving your diet and including plenty of foods that are rich in iron, vitamin B12 and folate. Iron sources include beef and other meats, beans, lentils and fortified breakfast cereals. Eat iron rich foods together with foods high in vitamin C that helps with iron absorption, such as citrus fruits, berries and cruciferous vegetables like broccoli or cauliflower. Also choose green leafy vegetables that contain a significant amount of iron and folate. Foods rich in vitamin B-12 include meat, dairy products, and fortified cereal. DEHYDRATION The most common cause of dehydration is excessive loss of body fluids, especially of water and electrolytes, simply not drinking enough water, or substituting water intake with only soda or juice. This is a critical mistake as not only does that spike your blood sugar, but also your cells cannot get enough water to function properly! Fact is, when you start to feel thirsty, your body is already dehydrated. The major electrolytes in the body — sodium, potassium, chloride and bicarbonate — are ion compounds that literally help your body to have energy via the force of electricity that keeps your organs (the brain, heart, nervous system , muscles) and cells functioning. Dehydration affects the actual viscosity (thickness) of your blood and the amount that your heart must beat every minute, as it tries to get oxygen to all your cells. When you’re dehydrated, your heart sends oxygen and nutrients to your brain, muscles and organs at a slower pace; as a consequence, you begin to feel fatigued, lethargic, moody, like you have “brain fog”, weakness in muscles, unable to concentrate and perform tasks. The Fix Drink more water throughout the day, increase your intake of vegetables and fruits, and make sure you’re getting plenty of electrolytes in the form of whole foods. To calculate the amount of water you need to drink daily to avoid dehydration, take your weight in kilograms, and multiply with 20ml. In other words, if you’re a woman who weighs 60kg, you need to drink 1200ml water per day, or roughly five 250ml glasses of water to stay fully hydrated. But this is only the amount of water if you do not exercise or do anything strenuous! If you work out or if you are active, then you ideally need to drink at least an extra 250ml for every

March 13, 2017

HAVING THE SEX TALK

Like any parent, I used to lie awake at night, fearful of the day [in the not so distant future] when my daughter would be interested in learning about the birds and the bees. I envisioned a beautiful sunny day replete with a flowery meadow and picnic basket, perfectly suited atmosphere to explain the most precious of topics with my child. Cut to real life and the question hits me smack dab in the middle of a busy line at the grocery store. “Mom, how are babies born?” I was not prepared for an audience during this discussion. My daughter was about seven years old and just tall enough to be eye level with the beautiful belly of a woman clearly in her last days of pregnancy. After we all had a quick giggle, I told her that as soon as we were back in the car, I would tell her. And I did. I vividly remember my answer, “Honey, when you get married, the mommy and daddy are in love and they want to have a baby. The baby grows inside the mommy’s body and when it is ready to come out, the doctor helps at the hospital.” To my relief, her only concern was whether or not she was indeed born at a hospital. “Yes you were and you had a girl doctor!” Fast forward seven years and it’s now my turn to bring up this touchy subject. Unlike my child, I don’t announce it publicly; rather take the time to skilfully plan my attack. My daughter is now a teenager, and while this topic hasn’t been taboo over the years [we encourage her to talk with us about issues], this is now the right time for a serious discussion and actual facts. I casually stroll into her room and chit chat about hair products, cool bands and school. We talk about her friends and it allows me to segue into whether any of them have had sex. She says no [thank goodness] and I can tell by her tone that she’s open to hearing more. I remind her of the time at the grocery store, and of the book we got from the library when she was ten, and then say that since she’s now grown up, we can move on to the important stuff. At this age, I no longer need to bore her with the logistics of lovemaking, she understands biology. We talk about family values and how her Dad and I feel strongly that sex is for adults that are in love. We talk about how having self-confidence will help her to remain pure for the person that will ultimately become her husband and how important the commitment she makes now will be to both of them in the future. We discuss disease prevention, contraception, and about the pressures of being an abstinent teenager. We talk about ways to resist temptation. We agree to keep this subject on the radar.

March 13, 2017

Tips To Improve Healthy Eating In the Home

A hungry child is a less fussy child. After School is a great window of opportunity to get your child to eat something healthy as they generally come home starving having rushed lunch to spend time with their friends in the playground. A few simple ideas and a few minutes spent in preparation can make a big difference to your child’s diet. Instead of whole fruit in a fruit bowl cut up a selection of colourful fruits and arrange them on a plate. Have healthy snacks like mini cheeses, dried fruit, a bowl of salad with a tasty dressing on the table so that your child eats these rather than crisps or chocolate biscuits. Ways to include anti oxidants in your child’s diet? Use a wide variety of vegetables and prepare them in diverse ways. Aim daily to include 3 different colour fruits and/or vegetables. Crudites and dips are fun for children and make for easy and nutritious snacks. Vegetable versus fruit eaters. Some kids love their cooked veggies, but struggle with salads and fruit. Others will eat salads and fruit but turn their noses up at cooked veggies. Aim not to make an issue of their respective dislikes, rather applaud them for the foods they do eat and do a food challenge with the ones they find more difficult to consume. For example if you have a child that struggles with vegetables, you could make Monday green vegetable day where you and your child choose one green vegetable he is prepared to try. Then come up with a fun way to eat and prepare the veggie/ fruit of choice. Herbs are a great way to get anti-oxidants in the cooking. Hide and mix them in stews and gravies. Peeled baby carrots, cherry tomatoes, cucumber slices SAD sugar free bars Pure woolies fruit rolls Fruit salad Raisins Dried fruit men Fruit juices Smoothies Plain yogurt with fruit pulp “Don’t eat between meals.” “Don’t touch that cookie — you’ll spoil your dinner!” “Snacking will make you gain weight.” Chances are, you’ve said something similar to your children – or maybe heard it from your own mom. But snacking on the right foods is not harmful. In fact, it can have health benefits for kids of all ages. Snacking is not a bad thing – in fact, it’s a good thing – and it can actually help keep kids from overeating at mealtime. Studies show that snacking during the school day improves both mood and motivation, and may impact concentration. Snacks may help children maintain performance during times of high mental demand, like when taking an exam or making a class presentation. But even while we’re bombarded with choices by the snack food industry, it’s not always easy to find healthy snacks – much less get your kids to eat them. Here are six simple guidelines. 1. Relax the Food Ties That Bind While you may have strict nutritional guidelines for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, snacks are the place to give children some wiggle room. Give them a little of what they like (be it potato chips or a small chocolate) a couple of days a week, and you’ll have better luck getting them to eat healthy snacks the rest of the time. 2. Choose the Lesser of the Evils When it comes to ingredients like sugar and saturated fat, you might think most commercial snack foods are pretty similar, give or take a gram. But look a little harder at the label and you may find important differences. If, for example, you have two items that are equal in sugar, fat, and calories, sometimes you’ll find that one contains vitamins, minerals, and fiber while the other doesn’t.Opting for the more nutrient-dense snack will help ensure it has some redeeming value, even if some of the other ingredients are not top nutritional choices. In addition, keep an eye on the sugar content. Some snacks, even seemingly healthy ones like flavoured yogurt, are way over the top when it comes to added sweeteners. The American Medical Association says that when our sugar intake exceeds 25% of our total caloric intake, it impacts us nutritionally. But the World Health Organization sets the threshold at 10% – so sugar is an issue to consider. A quick way to tell if a snack has gone over the line: It’s over 250 calories a serving, it’s probably got too many empty calories. 3. Portion, Portion, Portion While it’s OK to give kids some leeway on choosing what snacks to have, it’s still vital to pay attention to portion size. It’s also important to look for snacks with low levels of fat, saturated fat, and trans fat. Even if the package says a snack has no trans fats, read the ingredient list to be sure. If you see the word ‘hydrogenated,’ it means it has some trans fat, so avoid that snack. If your child is battling a weight problem, paying attention to portion size and total calories is vital, but don’t deny the child the opportunity to snack. 4. Make It Easy to Eat Well Having trouble getting your kids to eat healthy snacks like fruits, vegetables, and whole-grain items? Make these foods easy to munch, and they will eat more of them. No matter what food it is you’re trying to get your child to eat, if you make it accessible, if it’s easy to eat, if it’s there waiting for them in the fridge or on the counter, you will increase the likelihood that they will eat it. But cutting up fruits and veggies into bite-sized pieces isn’t quite enough. Snacks should also be packaged in a way that makes it easy for kids to ‘grab and go’. The key is not only making snacks easy to eat, but also easy to share. Kids love to share their snacks at school and if you help them do that, they are more likely to eat what you prepare, rather then trade up for something from

March 10, 2017

Working Moms: Stop feeling guilty

In a study conducted by Harvard Business School graduates in the US, it was found that women whose moms worked outside the home are more likely to have jobs themselves, are more likely to hold supervisory responsibility at those jobs, and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time. So where do you find the time between being a mom and having a career, never mind running your own business? 44 year old, Carey Mol is a mom, wife and director of Commander HQ, a sports gear and clothing ecommerce store. When she’s not driving to or from school, cooking, shopping or attending school sports she’s working. “It’s what makes me feel alive,” admits Carey. “If I didn’t work, I think I would go mad.” There are so many reasons why mothers work. For most of us it isn’t a choice, we need to contribute to paying the bills; not many families can survive on one person’s salary. For some having one parent stay home to take care of the kids is the only option and so for those who can choose between working and staying home is considered a luxury. Whatever your situation, it’s important not to judge. So for the moms who work and look after the kids, what is the ideal balance? How can you have it all and not feel guilty? Carey shares some of the lessons she’s learnt about juggling the two. Identify your priorities. I usually choose me, my family and then work. If I’m not happy then how can I make my family happy and without a happy family, work will seem like a very sad and lonely place. Stop chasing money. If you realise you’ll never have enough then what you have will always be good enough. Even all the money in the world won’t buy back lost time. Decide on what is enough to cover your financial obligations including savings, so you can still have time and energy in your day to focus on you and your family and stop there. As time goes on you can adjust your financial goals according to your family’s needs. Exercise every day. My daily routine consists of getting the kids ready, taking them to school, power walking 10km to the beach and back, or swimming up to 100 lengths in the gym pool then working as much as possible before driving back to school to fetch the kids, making dinner and possibly working some more. Exercise keeps me feeling energised and motivated to wake up and do it all over again. It takes a village to raise a child. Don’t be shy to ask for help. Once you’re a mom, you are automatically given access to a wonderful community of women who just get it. Sometimes working moms need to go to a meeting or send out a report and can’t be in two places at once. It’s very rare for another mom to say no to you if you need help fetching or taking. Find a way to beat the guilt. With all the finger pointing going on, it’s hard not to feel guilty about missing class parties during the week or a rugby match on a Friday afternoon. Take it easy on yourself, you can’t get to them all. As much as you try to put yourself first, family second and work last, sometimes the order shifts around, after all bills must be paid. Make up for it on the weekends by doing what your kids love or if the problem persists seek the help of a therapist to discuss your feelings. Decide on a daily mantra. Mine is to think positively. I like the saying “What would you try if you couldn’t fail.” Be an example to your children. I feel it’s important to show my kids that nothing comes easily. One needs to work for it in some way and to appreciate the fruits of your labour. We have come a long way in the last 60 years in South Africa. It’s wonderful that women can choose to work and aren’t only expected to stay home caring for children. We all have huge responsibilities raising children and we need to be the best possible version of ourselves. “Launching an ecommerce store that sells sports clothing and gear is a dream come true for me, as I know working is what keeps me motivated and level headed. Being a mother is a very important job, however being an informed, balanced and happy mom is worth much more,” concludes Carey. For more information about Carey Mol and her store, please go to www.commanderstore.com About the Author: Carey Mol, is a mother of 3, wife and owner of CommanderHQ, an online sporting gear and apparel store and balances her time between work and her children. For many years she worked full time in the mobile and digital industry, as MD for Cellular Media Distribution (CMD). After becoming a mother, she realised she wanted to spend as much time with her kids as she did fostering her career. She now hopes to inspire young and old, to take part in sport and live an active and healthy lifestyle.

March 9, 2017

Private parts: Are we raising proud or shameful children?

All children are born with sexuality as an inherent part of their being. The famous human sexual response researcher William Masters (1925–2001), an American gynecologist, was known to play a game with newborn boys during delivery, saying “Can I get the cord cut before the kid has an erection?” But he often failed since most boys are born with a fully erect penis. He also observed that all baby girls lubricated vaginally in the first four to six hours of life, and that during sleep, spontaneous erections or vaginal lubrication occur every eighty to ninety minutes throughout our entire life span. As our babies grow up, they start forming their sexual identity. We find that much of boys’ sexual identification is linked to the fact that they have a penis. Parents often express appreciation and praise when their two-year-old son flaunts his penis, which gives the proud boy the notion that he is the owner of a priceless body-part. The penis is truly a wonderful object: a natural little plaything, it is able to launch an entertaining stream of urine that can be proudly sprayed and splashed around whilst standing. This tool can also be used as a weapon and a little boy might provoke siblings by literally ‘pissing them off’. For little girls, however, a vagina is her secret organ, not only invisible to her, but also often viewed in a negative light if touched by her: ‘whatchamacallit’ code words and euphemisms further aid in neatly concealing this hidden treasure. When nature calls for desperate measures, she has to hide and crouch to urinate – an inconvenient, and often, embarrassing affair. Boys understand from an early stage that privacy and shame are two separate concepts: they learn to be both proud and private with regard to their genitalia. For young girls the mysteriousness and privacy of their genitalia are often veiled in secrecy and shame. This disparity in underlying values is carried with us well into adulthood and can have a significant influence on our sexual health. From this point of view, it appears that women start off with a disadvantage, which gives us reason to invite some change. Firstly, when little ones ask a question, they are ready for an answer. Listen carefully to the question and try to respond by offering nothing more, nothing less. Furthermore, and most importantly, we need to teach our children the correct vocabulary. According to Steven Pinker, a psychology professor at Harvard and the author of The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature, at least 1,200 terms are used for the vagina, and approximately 1,000 terms for the penis in the English language alone. We tend to continue to create new pet names for our intimate parts to use in a familiar and playful manner among friends and family, which is not bad per se, but Eve Ensler, a prominent anti-violence activist, playwright and creator of The Vagina Monologues, warns ‘what we don’t say becomes a secret, and secrets often create shame and fear and myths.’ If this is the case, it is perhaps time for us to get off the euphemism treadmill …

March 9, 2017

Did You Know that Weather Can Cause Your Headaches?

Most people know that certain foods, lifestyle issues and exercise, can lead to migraines and headaches but few people realise that the weather can also trigger headaches. Research shows that the change of seasons, climate and environmental factors can all be contributing to your headaches. Two recent studies, published in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine and in the Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health respectively, showed that headaches increase with higher temperatures, lower humidity and higher levels of fine particulate air pollution. In the first study, patients who were admitted to the emergency department of a hospital due to a migraine headache, were monitored in terms of the weather conditions at the time of their admission. A total of 3 491 patients formed part of this study and a statistically significant correlation was found between daily the number of patients and the daily maximum temperatures, mean temperatures, minimum temperatures and daily temperature changes. The study also found that more patients presented with headaches and migraines when the humidity was low. The second study was undertaken to determine whether there was an association between fine particle matter in the air and daily outpatient numbers being treated for headaches in Taipei in Taiwan. Data was obtained for a five year period. It was found that the higher the presence of fine particulate air pollution, the greater the number of patients with headaches and migraines. Dr Elliot Shevel, South Africa’s pioneer in the field of migraine surgery and the Medical Director of The Headache Clinic, says that weather-related phenomena can trigger headaches. “The change of seasons, rain, lightning, thunder and even barometric pressure, can be triggers for headaches and migraines. Every person has different triggers, but the key is to identify your specific anatomic cause for headaches and migraines, not just the trigger,” says Shevel. Why do the seasons impact headaches? Exposure to light is a well-known trigger of headaches. The change of seasons works in a similar way. “Migraine sufferers worldwide have long reported that bright sunlight triggers their migraines. Some researchers believe that some of the body’s senses are super-sensitive in migraine sufferers, particularly with regards to vision. The brighter sunlight in summer or snow glare can thus result in migraines for some sufferers,” says Shevel. How can weather pattern changes and storms affect headaches? In a 2007 study in Cephalalgia, over 1200 patients diagnosed with migraines were examined. Weather was identified as the fourth most frequent trigger of migraines, occurring in approximately 50 percent of patients, says Shevel. “Lightning strikes and strong winds can also be triggers of migraines.” Get a proper diagnosis According to Shevel, a headache diary can be very helpful in order to identify the cycles and triggers for your migraines and headaches. It’s important to identify and avoid the relevant trigger(s)to reduce the occurrence of migraine, but seeking help to determine the underlying physical cause of the pain will allow sufferers to experience triggers without developing a migraine. At The Headache Clinic, a multidisciplinary team is involved in the diagnosis and treatment of the headaches and migraines.

March 8, 2017

Learning to Say No

How many times have you said yes or committed to something and later regretted it? And then find yourself looking for every excuse in the book to get out of said commitment…. We dread it as ‘D-day’ draws nearer where we are meant to be at the event or engagement we’ve committed to or to deliver on a task we said we would do. We find ourselves leaving things to the absolute last minute, trying to avoid it in every way possible ending up feeling stressed or running around like a headless chicken. Why do we do this to ourselves? Usually it is because we fear letting people down or disappointing them, when in fact we end up letting ourselves down for not standing firm and speaking our truth. We take on every request that comes our way whether its work related, to do with our kids or even family situations and before you know it we are so busy we don’t have time to blink. Then we get stressed and frustrated because we’re not getting to all things we’ve said yes to, and we drive ourselves ragged trying to cope with the pressure we’ve placed on ourselves to meet everyone else’s needs except our own…. Sound familiar? You are a ‘yes man’, a people pleaser. Now there’s nothing wrong with being the nice guy and wanting to help others but when it comes at your own expense, you’re going to end up in trouble sooner or later. Running yourself ragged is only going to lead to a wave of emotions ranging from frustration, anger, resentment, unhappiness to possibly even illness as your body tries to cope with the pressure of it all. So what can you do about this situation? First of all you need to take in a deep breath. Breathing helps to regulate the central nervous system and calms us down. Next, get a piece of paper and write down all the tasks or commitments you need to complete and by when. Now prioritise them according to importance (0-low – 10-high), date needed by and what resource you need to help you complete the tasks (e.g. your bookkeeper needs to help you complete your tax return). Now, go make yourself a cup of tea and take a walk around the garden for at least 10 minutes, then come back to your list. Often when we are under pressure we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, leaving us with a sense of inadequacy or procrastinating putting ourselves under more pressure and so the cycle continues. Right now that you’ve had your tea and cleared your mind, let’s tackle the list one by one. Look at the tasks that you have prioritised as a high priority (anything above a 6) and review them. Are they really a 6 and above or can some actually be ranked a lower priority? Of those tasks you are confident need to be ranked high, what resources do you need in order to complete the tasks, what needs to happen for you to get the resources you need and by when? Create an action list for these tasks. Anything ranked a 3 – 6 is considered a low priority. This is usually something we want to do yet the motivation to do it is low, so we need to ask ourselves how badly do we want to do this task? More often than not the answer involves a ‘should, must or have to’. A should, must or have to’ is born from expectations we perceive others have of us when in actual fact it is the expectations we have placed on ourselves. Anything below a 3 is stuff that has been on your list for so long that it no longer warrants your attention. Delete it. Take it off the list. Do it now. Time for another tea break and a walk around the garden for another 10 minutes. If you’re not used to tackling tasks like this you are possibly feeling a little guilty, maybe even starting to doubt the ranking you have given some of the tasks on your list and want to go change them. Take in another deep breath and let it go. Know that all is well in this moment. Now go back to the items ranked a 3 – 6. Look at them again, Are there any items here that you can say no to? In other words it’s those items you feel you should but deep down if you are completely honest with yourself, you know you don’t want to do them. Got any like that? Right – say no to them and cross them off your list. Do it. Now. Once you have done that, focus on completing the tasks you have ranked 6 and above by acquiring the resources you need in order to complete the tasks within the required timeframe. Congratulations! You’ve officially broken free of the shackles that have been wearing you down. Now you just need to keep the momentum going and not fall back into the same trap again. Learning to say no is a liberating exercise; it gives you a sense of being control of your life vs. your life running away with you. The more you listen to your gut as to whether you really want to commit to a task or engagement, the more you will be speaking your truth and living your real essence. The hardest part about learning to say no is the first time you do it; from then on it gets easier. It also allows new opportunities to come into your space because you have cleared out all the baggage that was standing in the way before. Saying no to other things and people means you are saying yes to you – and that’s important. It gives you a sense of self-love, self-respect, self-care and that you value you and your time. If you don’t value yourself – no

March 7, 2017

Is it conflict?

“There was no conflict, when you pushed and I lay down. There was no argument when you took and I gave. There was no battle when you always won at my loss. We could not collide when I chose to give way. There is never a contest between giver and taker. We could have stood side by side, faced forward together, but you preferred my pound and a little more. Call it dissent or call it combative, the choice was always yours. Now there is strife because I choose to stand when you’d have me lie down, because I want my pound, no more than that, yet no less.” – Anonymous. The nature of conflict, to overuse a word, is a study in its own. Not something easily defined or placed under a microscope. The word itself carries weight and implication, when it is used in place of more neutral or ambiguous terms such as “challenging”, “being assertive” or “standing firm”. Do we define our engagement with others in terms of positive, neutral and negative only, or are we willing to see them for something more. Perhaps an opportunity for growth of the self, the organisation or the growth of others? The choices around how we interpret an interaction with others is largely ours. Of course, there are factors that will help you determine the nature of the engagement; a gun to your head or an outright declaration of hostile intent is one thing. A person asking you to impinge on your morals or to bend rules in their favour and against your will, can be seen as a conflictual situation….or it can be interpreted as a contest of wills. If the dynamic has always been one of dominance and submission, of push and fall, a change in that dynamic can make us sense conflict where than needn’t be one. It is our choice. Perhaps an example is best used: Party A and Party B are in a standing agreement regarding remuneration for services rendered on a regular basis. In this instance, a domestic worker (Party A) who works for a private employer (Party B) in their garden has previously agreed to a set price for his labour R120 per day. Party A realises that he is selling his labour too cheap and decides to give notice that he intends to ask more for his labour after a given frame of time, perhaps a calendar months’ notice. Party B says no, they will not pay more. A situation now stands to be defined by how each party chooses to approach it. Are they both concrete in their opinion? Are they willing to negotiate a rate that both can live with? Are they invested in maintaining the working relationship? Such questions will help them define whether they are entering into a conflict scenario or whether a mutually agreeable negotiation will define the outcome, with a much less reduced chance of resentment. Our relationships and interactions too often come down to simplified definitions of me versus you, what I get out of this and if I can walk away feeling like I’ve won, despite the cost. In a world environment so often defined by US and THEM, we stand to lose so much goodness and prosperity, by spending too much time focussing on the personal win, the personal battle and conflict that must be won no matter the fee to be paid around us. Why make poisonous war, where fruitful growth is possible?

March 6, 2017

Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Child?

Let’s face it, the pre-teen and teen years have nothing on the “terrible two’s.” Somewhere between the hormones, braces, and growth spurts, my 11-year old’s casual jokes and sweet remarks had been replaced with sassy backtalk and defensiveness. With schoolwork, her attention-to-detail was exchanged for a “just get it done” approach. And housework? Well, let’s just say she’s easily distracted. Where did she come from? It’s so easy to be reactive during these challenging growth years — to jump to labels, judgments, and criticism as I did. To reclaim the relationship we once had, it’s critical that I walk the talk with my child. Here are 5 things I’ve learned that can help you stay connected to your son or daughter when times get tough. 1. Thirteen, Going on. . . Know Where Your Child Is, Developmentally Understanding what’s going on with my child’s physical and emotional development is a big factor in my ability to connect to her needs in the moment. And this is where I think a lot of us get a bit stumped. The truth is, a typical pre-teen is bombarded with physical changes, matched with an almost overwhelming need for autonomy and belonging. Their social relationships — how they fit in, whether or not they feel accepted — take centre stage. It can be difficult for some pre-teens to concentrate for long periods of time, and in the quest for autonomy, they may push a bit more on seemingly trivial topics. The need for acceptance is critical to pre-teens and teens alike. Without it, they are lost in a never-ending identity crisis. Knowing this helps me connect to the needs behind my child’s behaviour, and equally important, shift to more realistic expectations, and requests that are less likely to generate tension. 2. Labels are Good for Stored Food, Not Kids A few months into Lydia’s (11 years) new school year, I found myself constantly frustrated and hypercritical when it came to the quality of her schoolwork. I kept saying, “this isn’t your best, why don’t you push yourself and work at your potential rather than just what’s expected of you?” Before I knew it I’d labelled my daughter as “lazy,” and myself as the “nagging mom.” Ugh. How had I morphed from a fairly compassionate, fun-loving parent to a tense, nagging mom who never seems satisfied? Time to stop and check in. These labels were not getting me want I wanted. Try connecting to your needs instead of applying a convenient label. What I really needed was reassurance — that my daughter’s academics wouldn’t suddenly go down the tube, that she was being challenged enough, that she still enjoyed learning. I found that reassurance by talking with other parents who had the same questions I did, and the same fear and frustration. All of us had recognized a shift in our kids’ focus on school, and together we realized how normal the behaviour was. In other words, when I connected to my needs, I was able to recognize the impact my labels had in my ability to get those needs met. 3. Don’t Just Do Something — Stand There With the help of a few dear friends (thank you Todd and Jen), I realized I could get back to the relationship with my daughter I want by bringing a different presence to our interactions. When I came to a conversation with Lydia connected to my absolute love for her, and my total acceptance of her right now, exactly as she is, I saw a dramatic change in our interactions, and of course a huge shift in my own stress level. Conflict fell away, and my girl was back! (At least for the length of that interaction.) I also became much more attuned to my own reactions to her behaviour, and was able to connect to my needs and hers before I jumped to judgment. When you model this presence to your child, it makes it infinitely easier for them to bring a similar presence to their own future interactions. 4. Acknowledge the Positive — In Your Child and in Yourself No matter what our child’s age, acknowledgement is critical — be sure to acknowledge positive behaviour in a way that helps them understand how it’s met your needs (and theirs!). Here’s an example: “Lydia, last week you got along beautifully with Alex (your stepbrother). Let’s celebrate the role you had in making that happen. I can guess that because you came to him with an attitude of acceptance, patience, and love, that it had a huge impact on how well the two of you got along. Not only did you meet his needs for acceptance and love, but you met your own. Can you guess what needs of yours were met last week?” I’ve also found the more I model acknowledgement and celebration of my own little accomplishments with communication, the more Lydia does herself. Acknowledgement leads to self-empowerment (that “I guess I can do this” realization), and for kids it often takes just one success, duly acknowledged, to shift behaviour. 5. Make Talk Time a Priority and Watch the Trust Grow Regardless of your schedule, making regular time to just talk and connect with your kids helps nurture mutual trust, a big factor in reducing future conflicts. Schedule regular “talk time” where the TV and phone are off and your attention is entirely on one another. This could be over dinner, your walk to school, or even on a daily commute home. The key is to remove distractions so you can really hear each other. It isn’t the amount of time, but the quality of presence I bring to the conversation that builds trust. Dinner time is talk time for Lydia and I, and I love to just sit back and give her the floor. These are moments when our kids toss their heart to us to see where it lands. My hope is to be there to catch it, as I recognize

March 6, 2017

Hooting Doesn’t Help!

I find watch people fascinating. I get to do quite a bit of it too driving to my various clients during the week. What I find very sad is how little respect and consideration there is among those using the roads. People seem to forget that we all need to get to work, we all have to use the same roadway, and we are all frustrated when traffic is bad. A few months ago, a lady’s car broke down, I could see from a few cars back that she had tried to get out of the traffic, unfortunately the car had stalled crossing the lane, so yes, and both lanes were partially blocked. Did anyone help? No People would drive passed shaking their fists at her & hooting. Do they really think it was her intention to stall the car? Did I offer assistance? No, as I reached her, a bus driver stopped his bus and assisted her. A few weeks later, I am coming off a slip way to get onto the N1. As usual I put on my indicator even before the dotted line so there can be no mistaking my intent even though there really is nowhere else to go. I eventually have to force my way onto N1 as the car behind me literally sits on the bumper of the car in front of it. A few hundred metres later, I apparently commit the cardinal sin by allowing a vehicle off another slip way onto the N1. This person behind me guns it passed me on the yellow line, slams on brakes in front of me & then continues for about the next 100 metres flipping me a variety of signs. Why am I telling you this? Every day we experience these types of incidences. Sometimes we are the person hooting or making judicious use of sign language. The point is, often we have our kids with us or there are kids in other cars around us. SO what you may say. Well, personally I think it’s a huge problem! As adults we are very quick to comment on how rude & disrespectful kids are. We complain about how they don’t want to listen to instruction, obey rules or be considerate to those around them. The irony is we have taught them to be like this. Every time you cut someone off, curse or hoot at someone, race passed on the yellow line or dash through a red robot or stop street we are teaching our kids exactly what is acceptable. As parents we have heard many times that it’s not what you say it’s what you do that kids learn. And this is so very true. By our daily behaviour as we commute, we teach our kids the following: Rules only apply to others Respect & consideration is only important when we need it Stopping to help is someone else’s job, you’ve got somewhere to be We can speak to whomever we choose however we choose, they’ve got to suck it up And we wonder why kids are turning out as they are. Can we change this? Of course we can. Be mindful of how you act & react. Obey the rules, yes even the one about using cell phones in the car Assist people along the way where you can Practice patience. Instead of thinking about what’s wrong, turn up the radio! We forget that our kids watch our every move. They need to see that word & deed is exactly the same. Are you going to slip up? Of course, you are human. When you do, note I say when not if, apologise and reiterate what would have been the better behaviour or better still, ask the kids what you should have done instead. Yip, as parents we sometimes have to suck it up & show our kids that it’s ok to make mistakes; however, it’s what you do about it that’s important. We need to shoe our kids that apologising is important, irrespective of the perceived status of the person offended. Being apparent is one of those roles you take on where you never get to sit back and say “I got this!” there will always be something else that upsets the apple cart. What is important is that our kids see that we keep trying, keep learning, and keep it real.

March 3, 2017

Ready for your girls’ first period?

Puberty follows a reasonably consistent sequence in girls. At a quick glance, this is what you can expect: first the development of the breast buds, which occur any time between the ages of 7 and 13, followed by the appearance of coarse, dark woollies under the arms and around the genitalia. About 15% of girls develop the other way around: first the pubic hair and then the bee-stings. The first menstrual cycle can be expected, on average, around 2 to 2½ years after the onset of breast development. Although 12.6 years is the average for a first menstrual period to commence, anything from age 9 to 15 is considered standard. Generally, women get their period every 28 days, but an interval of 21 days up to 40 days is also viewed as normal. One telltale sign that your girl is about to have her first period is a whitish, odourless vaginal discharge. This secretion is called leucorrhea and is a normal indicator that hormonal taking place. Leucorrhea is part of the vagina’s natural defense mechanism to maintain a healthy chemical balance, and it also preserves vaginal tissue flexibility. The first day of red or brownish spotting is to be remembered for a very long time. This is an exciting time, but sadly it is often clouded by fear, secrecy and embarrassment. Open and positive communication between mothers and daughters is of paramount importance during this time as the messages received from Mom will play the biggest role in our daughters’ first-time experience and overall view of becoming a woman. Expressions such as ‘the curse’, ‘on the rag’, or ‘the red plague’ are bound to instil fear, disgust and negativity. In too many cases mothers fail to talk to their daughters and neglect to offer the emotional support with regard to changing relationships with parents, siblings and friends. Secrecy around carrying, storing, using and discarding menstrual products is also often implied. Only 15% of young ladies report a positive first-time experience; 68% have no awareness of their mother’s experience with menstruation, and 64% receive negative messages from their mothers. As our girls move toward this rite of passage, it provides us with an ideal platform to strengthen the special mother-daughter bond. Menarche (first menstrual period) celebrations around the world confirm the importance of this huge step into womanhood. In Australia, an Aborigine girl is instructed in ‘love magic’, and taught the female powers of being a woman. In Japan the entire family celebrates a girl’s first period by eating red-coloured rice and beans. In rural India the girl is given a ceremonial bath, adorned with ornate jewels and garments, and the girl’s kith and kin are invited for a ceremony during which it is announced that the girl has come of age. In Kumari, Nepal, the young girls are worshipped as goddesses, and Nootka Indians believe menarche to be a time to test a girl’s physical strength and endurance: she is taken out to sea and left alone in the water. The girl has to swim back and is cheered upon returning to the shore of the village. Don’t you think that it is a brilliant idea to do something really special too for our girls as they join us and share the solidarity amongst women? Be it a private diary to record her experiences as a woman; a special calendar to mark the frequency of her menstrual cycle; pierced ears or a first leg-shave; a new nightie, or a shared outing – let the prospect of her first period be something wondrous and exciting for her to anticipate. Talk to her and explain what is about to happen, and let her be equipped by preparing a special toiletry bag for school: pack an extra panty, a pad or two, and surprise her with a small ’welcome-to-womanhood’ gift. Good luck!

March 2, 2017

Sibling Rivalry

While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it’s common for brothers and sisters to fight. What usually causes this? In my opinion the best-of-friends kind of siblings are very few and far between! It is not until much later, I find, that brothers or sisters start getting a long better, and unfortunately, some never do. I have clients who haven’t spoken to a sibling in years! What causes this? You name it and it can be the cause of an argument or a fight; be it toys, friends, clothing; a lot depends on the life stages of the children involved. Between 18 months and 2 years old, for example, a child has a deep seated need to do things for him or herself, and if an older brother or sister, who wants to be a good helper and who wants to do everything for the younger one then comes and interferes, that could cause a lot of frustration-on both sides. So we can go through all the different stages of life and have a number of situations that could cause rivalry. Sometimes though, it is pure personality clashes that cause the friction between two children, so that as well has a very definite influence. Could parents treating their kids differently also have an impact? Most definitely yes. Labelling is one example; if parents label the one child as the little angel who can do absolutely nothing wrong, and another one as a problem child, or even just as the one who needs a little more attention etc., that could cause a lot of rivalry between children. Being unfair as well – if one child is allowed certain things that another one is not, or if one child can get away with murder and only gets a warning as a result thereof, but another child gets punished harsher for the same behaviour or incident, that will make a child feel unloved and emotionally unsafe. One reaction could be to lash out at the sibling because of these hurt feelings being caused. As a parent, what should I do when the fighting starts? Difficult question because it depends on the situation, the age of the children involved and so forth, but basics would be to not get overly emotionally involved. In other words – stay calm! Now, after a hard day’s work at the office, this is way easier said than done! Try not to scream and shout and start handing out slaps left and right, because you are doing nothing to help or better the situation. Acknowledge and validate each child’s feelings; for example “I can see that you are extremely upset.” Immediately this kind of relaxes the child even if it’s just a little, because I don’t have to explain to you what I’m feeling or experiencing. This is one of the tools you use if you are communicating healthily and effectively with people, so this is just one of many situations where you can start teaching your children to communicate better. You create a calm atmosphere, where you guide them into talking about what happened, giving equal time to both to explain their side of the situation. Then, importantly, try to involve them in finding a solution to the problem. So clarify the problem in simple terms for them – for example “okay, so you both would like to play with that specific doll” and then ask them “what plan do you think we can make to solve this problem. Let me just say that this takes a lot of practice and a lot of patients, but no one is perfect and the mere fact that you are consciously trying to implement this is already worth a gold star in my books! If you succeed, you’ll not only diffuse the current situation, but also teach them how to handle situations that might arise in the future. Some believe “not getting involved” as a parent could also help. What’s your take? I do believe that in some cases this approach could be beneficial, because you allow your children to navigate through it themselves, which in itself has a lot of value, but I think it hugely depends on the age of the children involved. For older children this might be a useful way in dealing with it, but for younger children not so much. I think if you withdraw completely, you are not utilising the teaching opportunity that such situations create. When should I start thinking about getting professional help? When what you’ve tried has not been working for you, and as a result you feel like you are going crazy – remember that siblings will fight, that is normal. Someone once told me that when he had a child, he became a parent, but the moment he had a second child; he became a referee. Sometimes if you really struggle to get it under control, it might be helpful to get some parent counselling – some objective ideas and advice on how to handle your specific situation or to take your children for a play therapy session. Sometimes kids are overly aggressive or irritated, because there is a deeper underlying cause, and through a play therapy session this could be identified and addressed. Any useful tips for parents to keep the peace in the home? You have to try and stay objective and calm. Be fair, so what goes for one, also goes for the other. This also creates a clear set of boundaries which makes a child feel emotionally safe. It’s important that both parents are on the same page with regards to discipline. Validate your children’s frustrations and emotions and involve them in the solving of their specific problems in order to help equip them for future situations.

March 1, 2017

Why Playgrounds are so Important

Slip, slide, bump, bash, climb, wibble and wobble! Who knew so much fun could be so valuable?! Having access to a safe, clean and developmentally appropriate playground can have far reaching benefits for the leaders of tomorrow! In an age where there is a tendency for little ones to be involved in more sedentary play, it is becoming increasingly important for caregivers to make opportunities available for climbing, swinging, sliding and balancing. This kind of invaluable play can help to strengthen your child’s core muscles needed for sitting endurance and task completion. Our children are becoming accustomed to getting what they want easily and quickly, and thus “practice makes perfect” is not always inherently part of growing up. In the past, when children spent many hours entertaining themselves, often outdoors, skills such as endurance, frustration tolerance, creative problem solving, perseverance and the ability to apply initiative were part of growing up. While our faster-paced world has provided amazing new opportunities to connect our children and expand their life space globally, technology has led to more time spent indoors, often sitting or lying down in front of a screen! Playgrounds provide opportunities to move in many different planes and ways. Our movement sense sends information to our brain which provides our muscles with the information needed to stretch and contract appropriately in order to negotiate obstacles and balance on unstable surfaces. The way in which this movement is completed (successfully or unsuccessfully), in turn, feeds back into our brain to help plan and refine our next set of movements. The brain tells the muscles what to do, but the senses enable the brain to do the telling. The ability to come up with an idea for movement, plan and then execute that movement smoothly and efficiently is called motor planning. Motor planning is essential for a child to learn any new tasks. It affects how efficiently a child tackles this new task, and thus will impact how quickly he can master and complete it. A child who struggles with motor planning may often stand on the side lines and watch other children play before feeling confident enough to join in. He may also be hesitant to try new movements and prefer to stick to what he knows. This is why it is important for children to have the opportunity to play at different play grounds, or be encouraged to use one piece of playground equipment in different ways. Climbing, pulling, pushing, and carrying weight over, under and through obstacles all provide the body with vital feedback about its position in space and how it is moving. This feeds into the child’s internal map of what his body looks and feels like. Your child needs a good body map when learning about depth perception and spatial concepts. Without this foundational skill, he may struggle later on to position his letters on a line, size his letters in relation to one another and grasp mathematical concepts. When a child is offered the opportunity to challenge his body and test the limits of what he can and cannot do, he will develop the ability to use the two sides of his body in a smooth and coordinated way. Many everyday tasks rely heavily on the ability to use both sides of our brain to effectively complete complex movements, from brushing our hair, buttering our bread and tying our shoelaces to cutting, ruling a line with a ruler and riding a bicycle. Clambering over carefully thought-out playground equipment can challenge and develop these skills. Initially children may find playgrounds daunting and need some help to explore the adventures that lie inherently therein. Do not be too tempted to pick your child up and simply place him where he wants to be! Try offering him a foothold, and simply give him some verbal cues or allow him some time to watch you or other children climb and play. There is so much learning potential in moving from one spot on a playground to another, e.g. getting from the ground up the ladder to the fireman’s pole! Often in our bid to help our children, we sometimes rob them of that opportunity to figure it out for themselves. Rather help him just as much as he needs and remember to praise his effort and not simply his success! Often younger children will need a few trips to the same playground before they are confident to attempt some of the climbing by themselves. Sometimes just having you close by is enough motivation. If he is hesitant about a particular part of the playground, check that it is not too hot, rough or unstable for him! Some newer playgrounds offer interesting and varied textures and surfaces for little hands and feet! Where possible, encourage him to take his shoes and socks off to allow for easier climbing and a fuller sensory experience.

February 23, 2017

Parents Lack Visibility and Control over Kids’ Online Activity, Study Shows

Parents need to do more to protect their kids from the growing number of online threats, but many currently lack visibility of the dangers their children are facing. New global research from Kaspersky Lab reveals that only a quarter (26%) use parental control software to help restrict their kids’ activity online. Worryingly, among those parents who haven’t installed parental control features, one in five (21%) believe that it is better for children to learn how to use the Internet safely themselves. The Consumer Security Risks Survey 2016 uncovered what parents think about the online world and the challenges they face in protecting their family from threats. The research showed that only a third (37%) of parents worry that their children could be exposed to inappropriate or explicit content online. Just 36% are wary of their kids communicating with dangerous strangers, and 34% worry about them becoming a victim of cyberbullying. The study also found that not enough parents are taking the required steps to protect their children, with only a third (38%) regularly talking to their children about the dangers online and bringing the Internet into family conversation and a quarter (27%) regularly checking the Internet history on the browser. One in five (21%) prefer to become a contact within their kids’ social networks. Parents need to be more aware of the dangers lurking on the Internet. According to the survey, 41% of kids were exposed to online threats in the 12-month period leading up to the research. These threats included being exposed to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, dangerous strangers and more. “Parents need to be more aware of the dangers their children face online. They need to help their kids become more cyber-savvy and put protection methods in place to keep them safe online, as they would in the physical world”, said Andrei Mochola, Head of Consumer Business at Kaspersky Lab. “You wouldn’t let your children cross the road or talk to strangers on their own, so it’s surprising to see almost a quarter of parents leaving their kids to browse the Internet independently. It’s easy to overlook the security threats of the online world when you’re a busy parent but leaving kids to deal with threats without help is unsafe. As the digital world increasingly impacts on all aspects of our lives it is more important than ever to boost knowledge and put safeguards in place.”

February 17, 2017

Introducing BabyLine

Parenting is a joy but it can also be overwhelming and just a little daunting. There is no degree or diploma, you are simply launched into it and there’s a steep learning curve. You instantly have a new life depending on you and, combined with sleep deprivation, the challenges of adjusting to being a parent and wanting to do the best for your child, you need all the help you can get. Bonitas Medical Fund is doing just that with the launch of the first dedicated toddler’s health advice line, called Babyline, to its members. Here help is at hand, from professionals, as you take the necessary baby steps along the path of looking after the health of your toddler, up to the age of three. Essentially Babyline is a 24-hour children’s health advice line manned by paediatric trained registered nurses. They are on the other side of the phone to assist with any parental concerns, or health related issues, 24/7, 365 days of the year. ‘Parents are often confronted with a host of children’s health issues, particularly in the first three years. In an effort to help educate and support Bonitas moms and dads and to ensure their medical aid benefits last longer, we have partnered with Paed IQ’s babyline service,’ explains Bonitas Medical Fund. ‘The service was developed in conjunction with the Department of Paediatrics at the University of Pretoria and is based on a concept used by the top providers of child health advice in the USA.’ ‘The system of telephone advice, guarantees members instant and real time access to pre-eminent, professional advice and standardised paediatric protocols,’ explains Dr Iqbal Karbanee of Babyline. ‘Our aim is to give parents the best possible resources to help them maintain and improve the health of their child. It’s about giving anxious parents peace of mind when it comes to an urgent health concern and, hopefully, will also alleviate unnecessary trips to doctors or hospitals.’ How does it work? Bonitas parents, or their caregivers, simply call the Babyline number on 0860 999 121 to reach a paediatric trained nurse. Through a series of questions asked regarding the health issue, parents will be provided with professional advice on what to do next. Depending on the symptoms, the advice might be to head straight to the ER or to see a doctor or specialist. The nurse will advise which healthcare provider is the most appropriate, given the health issue. The services offered by the Babyline include: Home care advice Clinic/primary care/GP referral for the same day Clinic/primary care/GP referral for the following day After-hours care within the next six hours Immediate referral to the ER The Babyline service is available to members across all the Bonitas plans, for children under 3 years. ‘We do have to stress that although the Babyline is designed to assist parents with health concerns, nurses do not provide diagnosis or prescriptions. They are on call to offer advice on how best to deal with the current health problem or refer you to the nearest healthcare facility,’ concluded Bonitas Medical Fund.

February 15, 2017

What is Free Sugar Costing our Kids?

It’s no longer a secret that the vast majority of us are blissfully unaware sugar addicts. Modern conveniences in consumables are great at making life easier in the short term, but what about the long term implications? A report published in 2009 showcases that food addiction is plausible as “brain pathways that evolved to respond to natural rewards are also activated by addictive drugs. Sugar releases opioids and dopamine and thus might be expected to have addictive potential.” A further report published in 2013 indicates that sugar is as, if not more, desirable than addictive drugs such as cocaine. This research aims to prove that “sugar and sweetness can induce reward and craving that are comparable in magnitude to those induced by addictive drugs”. With these two findings it’s hard to believe that as parents we are still largely oblivious to the long term, damaging effects of over consuming sugar-dense foods and beverages. So a sugar tax maybe introduced, this will certainly help moderate and potentially reduce the average consumption of free sugars (sugar added to food and drink, as well as sugar found naturally in honey, syrups, fruit juices and fruit juice concentrates). But it will take a deeper understanding of what we consume to avoid the top health issues South Africans currently face – obesity, diabetes and heart conditions? All directly resulting from amongst other factors, but largely to sugar-dense diets and little to no exercise. According to a statement released by the World Health Organisation “adults and children need to reduce their daily intake of free sugars to less than 10% of their total energy intake. A further reduction to below 5% or roughly 25 grams (6 teaspoons) per day would provide additional health benefits”. So what is a safe recommended daily allowance for sugar? Although we all lead different lifestyles and have varying metabolic requirements, the UK’s Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition (SACN) have suggested the following: • Children aged 4 to 6 should have no more than 19g or five teaspoons of free sugars per day • Children aged 7 to 10 should have no more than 24g or six teaspoons of free sugars per day •Children aged 11 years and upwards, as well as adults, should have no more than 30g or seven teaspoons of free sugar per day To illustrate what this means, take a look at some of the popular beverages our children love, and their approximate sugar contents: • 250ml iced tea = 19g or four teaspoons of free sugar • 250ml flavoured drinking yoghurt = 26.8 g or five and a half teaspoons of free sugar • 330ml cola = 35g or seven teaspoons of free sugar • 330ml ginger beer = 37g or six and a half teaspoons of free sugar Overcoming an addiction is by no means an easy feat and the same holds true for sugar dependency. Almost all modern convenience consumables contain added free sugar especially children’s favourites such as cereals, beverages, fast foods and treats. So how do we reduce the excess sugars from our diets? Become aware, understand that food is medicine and always try to ensure that that all consumables remain as close as possible to their natural state. If sweetening is required, look at healthier options such as fresh fruit or vegetables. Read labels carefully, not all free or added sugars are labelled as sugars. For example: agave nectar, corn sweetener, dextrose, honey, corn syrup, sucrose, fructose, glucose and molasses. Limit sugar added beverages, cited as being responsible for the majority of added sugar in US diets. Try naturally flavouring water or using a SodaStream to make fun, healthier drink options. Their syrups also comprise one third of the sugar compared to regular sodas. Reduce your family’s super sweet sugar tolerance with a moderated sugar and bolstered wholefood diet. Over time consumables high in sugar will start tasting too sweet as your tolerance returns to its normal natural state. Bake instead of buying treats. Homemade treats will no doubt contain less added and highly synthetic sweeteners, and you have the ability to further reduce the sugar content with natural sweeteners like fruits or vegetables. One favourite cupcake recipe calls for swapping out a large portion of the sugar for a glass of white wine, the alcohol cooks out and makes a delicious, moist cupcake. The key to all healthy living is moderation and a balanced diet. This is not to say indulgent foods high in fat and/or sugar can’t be enjoyed, they can, but just not daily. Herewith a quick and easy recipe from SodaStream, for more fun recipes, please visit www.sodastream.co.za/recipe/. Raspberry Coolers for Kids Ingredients 1 bottle SodaStream Zero Cranberry Raspberry Fresh organic raspberries Mint Instructions Prepare the SodaStream Zero Cranberry Raspberry (flavoured to your liking) Throw in fresh organic raspberries Garnish with mint

February 13, 2017

The ultimate baby shower gift list: What a new mom really wants and needs.

Baby showers come around every now and then for most ladies, until you reach a certain age, then they seem to become a monthly occurrence. Gift opening most often seems to be the highlight of the day with many oohh’s and aahh’s as the tiny outfits and other gifts are put on display. BUT what does mom really want for her expectant baby and more importantly, what are those items she really needs? The ones she is going to use regularly and appreciate? I had my first baby shower in 2014 and decided on doing a registry with my mom and two sisters. Besides it being a ton of fun, it was a complete guess of what I would need for my little boy. I already had the big stuff, the cot, compactum, car seat and pram. Everything else seemed confusing. Now that I am getting ready for baby number 2. It seemed like the perfect time to put together my list for my little girl. All those things I have found to love. Hopefully this helps you too. Baby shower gifts for mom Pillows! Don’t underestimate the power of a good pillow or two. I love the Frankie Beans Maternity pillow It is great to use under your bump, between the legs, to support the back or even in the car. The long cuddling pillow as I like to call it.Will become almost part of you at sleep time. I like to wedge it between my legs and under my tummy. Giving me some awesome support and some well-deserved sleep. One of the best possible gifts an expectant mom could get is a massage. No jokes! It is one of the only things that can make you feel better when carrying all the extra weight. (Well that and sitting in a pool). The benefits for circulation are great and it can also relieve back and joint pain. Anxiety during pregnancy can be over whelming and regular massage can assist with managing your anxiety and even depression by regulating your hormones. When anxiety during pregnancy occurs, and is not treated it can increase your chances of having post-partum depression when baby is born. Make sure when choosing were to go for your massages that you pick someone that is qualified in pregnancy massage so they can support you and look out for indications such as possible blood clots and varicose veins. Remember to always check with your Dr before receiving a massage if you struggle from hypertension, pre-eclampsia, severe swelling or are considered a high-risk pregnancy. Tips: Don’t lie on one of those beds with the holes cut out for the tummy. They can cause uterine ligaments to stretch. Make sure you lie on your side with support for your tummy and between your legs. The therapist should always use safe oils for pregnancy. My favourite spot for preggy massage is Mommy wellness. They are focused on treating pregnant moms and even moms with tots. Do yourself a favour and check them out. Pregnancy is also an important time to review your skin and hair care products. It is not often that we look at the ingredients that are found in our products but during pregnancy, we should really stick to as natural as possible. Avoid retinyl palmitate, retinaldehyde, adapalene, tretinoin, tazarotene and isotretinoin as they may cause birth defects. Hydroquinone is used to lighten the skin but this these treatments should be put on hold until baby is born. Formaldehyde is found in some hair products and nail polishes. Try use Formaldehyde-free products whenever possible. Lilian Terry offers natural alternative to the harsh and sometimes damaging chemicals in everyday products. They use a combination of homeopathy and aromatherapy. A lovely add on for the preggy mom is their Lillian Terry Stretch mark oil and the Lillian Terry Vascu Flow for water retention Milk screen is definitely a must for your nappy bag too. They are fabulous, easy to use test strips that test for alcohol in Breast Milk. Giving you the confidence to know when you are able to feed your baby after having a glass of wine. Baby Shower gifts for your little one ShooShoos are the best. They come in a variety of sizes and colours are are super easy to slip on. They are available from newborn to 24 months. Great skincare is vital for baby from day one. Being a wellness coach and having over 15 years’ experience in Health and wellness and specifically skincare this is something I am very passionate about. I would like all parents to be understand what is inside of their products but also know what they are putting on baby’s skin. Email [email protected] for a free copy of my Ebook: The natural way, a guide to skincare and natural therapies for babies and children. Pure Beginnings tick all my boxes for kid’s skincare. I love the toothpaste, body wash and bath bubbles. I have also recently tried out the pro-biotic lotion on my little boy. Even with his eczema it has worked wonders. Sleep sacks were always necessary for my little boy in winter. He hated blankets from day 1 and kicked them off every night. The sleep sack kept him warm and cosy. I have one for each stage of growth and really recommend them for kiddies that kick their blankets off. I didn’t actually buy any and was lucky enough to be given all of mine but Moo Moo has some options that are pretty reasonably priced Baby Shower gifts for the breastfeeding mom Breastfeeding your new baby can be such an amazing, fulfilling experience. It can also be exhausting and at times tough. Another support pillow, can really help you keep your posture and avoid back ache. I used this one that was very similar to this one and really loved it. Prepping the breasts for baby is another controversial topic. There are loads of old wife tales out there, that sound like pure pain.

February 10, 2017

Infant Food Fallacies – “Rice cereal is the best first food for baby.”

This is an excerpt from the “Unlearn” chapter in my book Mila’s Meals: The Beginning & The Basics. Disclaimer: As with everything concerning food there are two sides to any debate raging around every one of the topics in this chapter – both sides will be defended with scientific proof, and ‘absolute’ recommendations. I am merely presenting my beliefs formed by my research and first hand experience of both Mila’s, and my own digestive issues. I encourage you to do your own research should anything mentioned here not ‘sit well’ with you. I am not trying to convince you of anything – I simply hope to provide information, and at the very least prompt you to question what has previously or otherwise been presented as absolute fact and truth. “I’ve got to say I was fooled by this – by the clever marketing of the food companies and by the advice of the clinic sister. I fed her rice cereal (organic – but that really did not help the situation much). Poor thing! I stopped as quickly as I started (her tummy cramps were too awful after that first meal) and, this is why… Food has to be broken down into its nutrient components: amino acids, fatty acids, cholesterol, simple sugars, vitamins, minerals, etc. – our bodies absorb nutrients, not food. The body produces digestive enzymes that break down our food into nutrients. These nutrients are then absorbed and nourish the body. Digestive enzymes are produced in the pancreas, small intestine, saliva glands and stomach. Different digestive enzymes are needed to break down different types of food. In order to digest grains, your body uses an enzyme called amylase. Guess what? Pancreatic amylase is not produced by your little one (in sufficient quantities) until they are a year old – sometimes even later. The rule of thumb here is that it is not until your little one’s molar teeth are fully developed that they have sufficient quantities of pancreatic amylase to properly digest grains – this can be anywhere from 13 – 24 months of age. Amylase is provided in a mother’s breast milk and is produced by your little one’s saliva – but these are not sufficient to properly digest grains. Especially processed grains, or grains that have not been prepared properly. So what happens to this undigested rice cereal (or other grains)? Some undigested food (from other vegetable carbohydrate sources) benefits your little one – fermentation in the colon produces short chain fatty acids, which can improve nutrient absorption, enhance gut health, and even be used as a source of energy for both the microbes and baby. But since grains (especially) cannot be adequately digested, they start rotting. This rotting food matter feeds pathogenic bacteria and fungi (such as Candida) – and this imbalance can lead to food allergies, asthma, eczema, and other autoimmune disorders. Over time, the pathogenic bacteria and fungi (and their toxic by-products) create holes in the gut wall (known as Leaky Gut). A leaky gut allows toxins and partially digested food to spill directly into the blood creating an unpredictable mix of physical, behavioural, emotional and neurological symptoms. This is explained in great detail in Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride’s book Gut and Psychology Syndrome. What else is wrong with commercially available rice cereal? Rice cereal is processed – meaning it is no longer a whole food. In order for the cereal to have a longer shelf life, the bran and the germ (the most nutritious parts) have been removed, simultaneously stripping the grain of its protein, fibre, nutrients and minerals. Artificial vitamins have to then be added back in – these are far less bio-available to your little one’s body and a poor replacement for nature’s version. Rice cereal is an extremely high glycaemic food – that is, it spikes the blood sugar. Rice cereal contains phytates (the salt form of phytic acid). Phytic acid is a naturally occurring chemical in grains, nuts and seeds. Phytic acid binds to essential minerals (such as calcium, copper, iron, zinc, and magnesium) in the digestive tract, making them less available to our bodies – and actually flushing them out of our bodies. While the majority of the phytic acid (or phytates) are found in the bran of the rice (which is removed during processing), there will still be some present. So, eating processed rice cereal may actually remove iron, zinc, calcium and magnesium from your little one’s body! Phytates also reduce the digestibility of starches, proteins, and fats. Please note that simply grinding grains at home and cooking them will result in an even higher amount of phytates in your little one’s food. All grains, nuts and seeds must be soaked, sprouted or fermented before cooking in order to break down the phytic acid. Please see the chapter Convenience vs. Conscience: Enzymes, Nutrients and Anti-nutrients in my book for more information on this. Commercial rice cereal fortified with iron. But surely this is a good thing? A baby is born with sufficient iron reserves to last them until they are 6 months old. While a mother’s breast milk is low in iron, the iron that is present is readily absorbed by her little one – as opposed to the artificial sources of iron found in fortified cereals and formula. While your little one may need additional sources of iron at the age of 6 months, it is far better to provide this from whole foods as opposed to supplemental drops or an additive in a nutrient deficient food. Good sources of additional iron are liver (raw), other cooked meat, blackstrap molasses, avocado and… soil! No, I am not suggesting you feed your little one soil, but the iron from soil is absorbed by the body. So a mouthful here and there while playing outside, as well as digging in the soil and walking barefoot is beneficial. Healthy soil is also a great source of probiotics! By healthy soil – I mean organic, not chemically fertilised and with

February 7, 2017

How to Treat and How to Protect Against Head Lice

With summer season upon us, head lice will again be making their way into many homes. Thankfully, Controlice® helps moms to combat the infestations with a range of products designed to eliminate* and repel* head lice. All mom has to do is to decide whether she needs to eliminate or to repel head lice and then select the right Controlice® products for the job: When to eliminate head lice: When head lice are already in the hair, the clinically proven Controlice® Oil Spray or Controlice® Head Rinse are the best fit to eliminating the little monsters.* Once applied to the hair, Controlice® Oil Spray only requires a 15 minute application to kill live head lice. Controlice® Head Rinse requires an 8 hour application and is the best option for an overnight lice treatment. Both treatments must be reapplied again seven days after the initial treatment because that is when the little lice eggs, called nits, hatch. A Controlice® Lice Buster Comb or Controlice® Triple Comb should be used as a part of the treatment. These precision engineered combs can assist to remove nits attached onto the hair. Tip: Rest the child’s head on a paper towel on mom’s lap and let him/her watch TV while mom combs out the nits. When to repel head lice: If you hear that there is a head lice outbreak at your child’s school, or if you have managed to get rid of the little crawlers and don’t want them coming back, you can use the Controlice® Defence range on a daily basis. Controlice® Defence Shampoo or Controlice® Defence Spray are not suitable for eliminating a head lice infestation, but they can put up a line of defence to stop head lice from moving in.* Controlice® through a magnifying glass: Treating with either Controlice® Oil Spray or Controlice® Head Rinse Lotion and combing out nits Controlice® Oil Spray. The clinically tested formula of Controlice® Oil Spray has been shown to combat head lice infestations. It is formulated with plant oils including coconut, aniseed and ylang-ylang. Controlice® Oil Spray can be used as a treatment whenever required as head lice cannot build resistance to the product.* To kill adult lice, spray Controlice® Oil Spray onto dry hair. Work it through the hair with your hands until the entire head of hair is moist enough to glisten and feel slick. Wait for 15 minutes. Comb out the lice and nits from the hair with the Controlice® Lice Buster or Controlice® lice comb. Wash and rinse the hair with Controlice® Defence Shampoo or another shampoo. Repeat seven days later to avoid re-infestation.* Price and availability: Controlice® Oil Spray is available from selected pharmacies and retail stores at approximately R158 for a 60 ml bottle, which gives two to four treatments depending on the length of the hair. Controlice® Head Rinse Lotion has no chemical pesticides. Its active ingredient is dimethicone which forms a wax layer around lice that suffocates the lice to death.* The colourless and odourless liquid is worked through dry hair with the fingers or one of the Controlice® combs, and left on overnight or for eight hours. Then comb out the nits (lice eggs) and dead lice, before washing and rinsing out the hair. Repeat the treatment after seven days. Price and availability: Controlice® Head Rinse Lotion is available from selected pharmacies and retail stores at around R118 for per 100 ml bottle. Comb out with Controlice® Lice Buster Comb or Triple Comb While treatment is on the hair, de-tangle the hair with any comb. Then remove the nits (eggs) and dead lice from the hair with one of the Controlice® combs. It is recommended that mothers invest in one of the two Controlice® precision engineered combs either the Controlice® Triple Comb or the Controlice® Lice Buster. The Controlice® Lice Buster Comb is designed for long, curly or very thick hair. The Controlice® Triple Comb is ideal for short hair. Price and availability: Controlice® Triple Comb retails at around R83, the Lice Buster Comb at around R86, from selected pharmacies and retail stores. Prevent head lice in the first place with Controlice® Defence Shampoo and Controlice® Defence Spray Controlice® Defence Shampoo is an oil-based formulation with active ingredients that can assist to repel head lice and avoid re-infestation.* It can also be used to cleanse and condition children’s hair and is suitable for daily use. Price: approximately R79 per 125 ml bottle at selected pharmacies and retail stores. Controlice® Defence Spray is an oil-based formulation with active ingredients that can help to repel head lice and protect against a re-infestation.* Controlice® Defence Spray moisturises and detangles the hair, leaving it manageable and shiny. Price: around R79 for a 100 ml bottle at selected pharmacies and retail stores. *For a diagnosis or if symptoms persist, consult a medical practitioner. Efficacy of support may vary between users.

February 3, 2017

Starting Tertiary Education…What’s to Know?

The prospect of finishing high school and starting tertiary education is a daunting one for many students. They’re forced to leave the friends, teachers and surroundings they have spent years with for a whole new environment. Although this can be a little overwhelming, it can also be an exciting and rewarding time. If your child is starting tertiary education, give them a chance to read over this and see if anything strikes a chord. You will need to be more independent With the move into post-compulsory education comes more freedom: uniforms are a thing of the past, you can come and go when you please and can choose subjects that interest you. But keep in mind that greater freedom brings about greater responsibility, which means that you are responsible for staying on top of assessments and turning up to classes — and no one will chase you up if you miss a class or forget to hand in an assignment. You might also need to manage competing priorities such as your part-time job and new social circle. Bear in mind that many institutions also keep attendance registers. If you’re not paying for it yourself, it can be very easy to justify “taking a day off”, especially if there is no detention to fear. Heed the warning though, someone will be taking note and you owe it to yourselves and those counting on you, to succeed! Learn to budget Depending on your circumstances, you may be working off a very tight budget. Get into the habit of budgeting for travel, food and the “occasional” social event, as it can be very easy to spend your money when you’re studying. You may become familiar with the term “student food”, which is what people often resort to when on a budget. This usually incorporates some combination of beans on toast, instant noodles, terrible coffee and lots of tap water! You will have to adjust to a new learning and teaching style There are a number of different class structures at tertiary level, including lectures, tutorials, laboratories, practical workshops and field work. Lectures consist of the lecturer speaking to a room full of students. Tutorials are much smaller and feature a more interactive and personal style of learning. Workshops, laboratories and field work allow students time to obtain certain practical skills and knowledge. Instead of studying the same subjects for a full year, subjects change each study period. You will also find that learning is more self-directed, which means that you will be expected to do a significant amount of independent study and research in addition to attending classes. Get out ahead of it. Unfortunately this is a lesson often learned too late. When you have to read 2 Jane Austen novels in one night, you’ll realise how important it is to systematically get through your reading material, ahead of time. At this level, entire forests are felled to provide reading material for each student, so be prepared and don’t get snowed under by a pile of paper. Get used to being around different people. In school, your classmates were all roughly the same age and mostly from the same area. At tertiary level, students of all different ages and backgrounds will form your peer group. Some may come straight from high school while others will be mature age students returning to study. There are ways of behaving and talking that once applied to high school and may not translate too well into tertiary level. Learn to ask questions of each other and respect (not necessarily agree with) the opinions of others. Yours is not the only answer that may be relevant. Speak up! This level of education can cost a lot of money, especially if your college is an independent organisation. If you are unhappy with your experience, speak up, but go through the right channels. At this point in your life, you’re bridging the gap between being a learner and being a participant in society. This is a great chance to learn how to work within an organisation and to ensure that your right to a quality education is respected! Be an adult as often as you can In South Africa, we are considered an adult by the time we are 18 years of age. Most of us are well aware of this long before that age, but it is a difficult thing to navigate still being dependant on your family for food, shelter and education, while asserting your independence as a young adult. Prepare to encounter this conundrum at some point in your tertiary education and handle it maturely. Understand that they will still have expectations of you, if they are still supporting you. Measure your autonomy and independent mind-set with responsibility and respect and hopefully it will help reduce the impact of any conflict that may arise.

February 2, 2017

More Precious Than Pearls

Teeth are designed to last a lifetime. Why do so many people suffer during their lifetime with dental issues? Why do people lose some of their teeth or all their teeth during their lifetime? We as health professionals have an obligation to help people become aware of how precious teeth are and how important it is to look after them properly. Teething is an awful time for both mother and child. It is often accompanied by a temperature, nappy rash, restlessness, drooling mouth and sore gums. Teething gel or powder will help. Teeth begin to erupt in a particular sequence and teething is usually complete by the age of two. The first teeth to erupt are the two lower front teeth followed by the upper front teeth and then the rest follow in succession going backwards. It is right at this early stage that one should take care of the teeth in the appropriate way. Rubbing the teeth with gauze is most effective until the child is old enough to accept a toothbrush in their mouth. Baby bottle syndrome may occur when the child is put to bed at night with milk in the bottle. The milk promotes the development of tooth decay very rapidly. The same applies with juice. Try water. It is the best. Start off with water and the child will not even be aware of the existence of any other alternative. If you have started with milk already, then wean the child off by diluting the contents of the bottle with water, bit by bit each day so the child will not notice the change that is taking place. Dental decay is a bacterial disease caused by the accumulation of plaque on the teeth. This provides a substrate for the normal bacteria that live in the mouth to aggregate. These bacteria metabolise the carbohydrates in the diet promoting tooth decay. Many mothers have a tendency to lick the dummy first before placing it in the child’s mouth. This is not recommended because of the transfer of bacteria from the mother’s mouth to the child. Brushing teeth with a young child is really a case of monkey see monkey do. If you as a parent show the child how enjoyable tooth brushing is, they will want to do the same. A children’s toothpaste with a pleasant flavour is well accepted. The size of the toothbrush is important. Small children small brush. The child may want to brush their own teeth to show independence. That’s fine to let them do that, but as the parent you should finish the job. Having been the parent of young children myself, I know how difficult it is to keep candy away from children. Better not to start if you can but peer pressure can be daunting. Stay away from lollipops or anything that allows the sugar to settle on the teeth for a lengthy period of time. How about trying a carrot instead! When should a child visit the dentist for the first time? The first visit can be at the age of about 3 to 4 and should be fun. All that the dentist would need to do is give the child a ride in the dental chair and perhaps blow some air on the hand to tickle. Coming away from the dentist with a sticker and colouring pad is fun. What about fluoride for a young child? Our water is fluoridated and the toothpaste is fluoridated. With effective brushing, adjunctive fluoride is probably not necessary. Some children have large gaps between their baby teeth and in some the teeth are tightly spaced. Don’t be alarmed about the gaps. The bigger the gaps the better because the baby teeth maintain the space for the permanent teeth to erupt from the age of 6 to 7. At the same time as you see the permanent teeth erupting in the front of the mouth, the first permanent molars also begin to appear. These teeth are extremely vulnerable to tooth decay and need very special care and attention to maintain their health. These are the teeth that many adults lose at an early age because of inadequate attention to plaque control. Parents have a responsibility towards their children’s dental health. The permanent teeth continue to erupt through to the age of 11 to 12. Whilst this happens, the deciduous (baby) teeth fallout. You may wonder what has happened to the roots of these teeth. They are resorbed as the permanent teeth make their entry into the mouth. The anticipation of losing baby teeth and welcoming the tooth fairy is every child’s delight. How much does the fairy deposit? Well that, we leave to you. An adjunct to monitoring the effectiveness of tooth brushing, is the use of disclosing solution which can be bought over the counter in the form of a tablet which is dissolved in the mouth and stains the plaque pink. It is then easy for the young person to see the plaque and exercise effective tooth brushing. Many children require orthodontic treatment to assist in the development of their permanent teeth. Your dentist may refer you to an orthodontist in the early teenage years or even slightly younger. Regular topical application of fluoride in the dental office is recommended from an early stage through adolescence. Fissure sealants are also recommended to protect the developmental grooves on the six-year-old molars. Again, teeth are designed to last a lifetime. How wonderful it is for a child to jump out of the dentist chair and exclaim, “Look Ma, no cavities”

January 30, 2017

4 Ways To Live Authentically

4 Ways to Improve Your Living Authentically, So you can be a living Example for Your Children So They can grow into adults who are content within themselves. I was sitting in the third row close to the middle when the man on the stage said, “if you are not true to yourself, then it is impossible to lead others.” The year was 2000 and the man was John C. Maxwell. Over the years, John’s words have again and again come back to me. The question he asked. Are you being true to yourself? Over the years I have asked over 7,500 parents the same question. Parenting requires authenticity. I define authenticity as the alignment of belief, thought, words, and actions in your everyday living. This requires a time of self-focus on those four areas. Examination of Beliefs Most people think they know what they believe. However, when I ask parents to write down their top ten values most get stuck at five, several get to seven no one has gotten to ten. So, write down those values. How far did you get? We will get back to that. Paying attention your thoughts and your beliefs flow together with them.The old saying as a man thinks in his heart, so he becomes. Is true. Our thoughts are affected by our beliefs. So, another way to check our beliefs is to examine our thoughts. How does what you think reflect your beliefs or what you thought you believed? Get the two to line up. Once your beliefs and thinking are fully aligned it helps the two outer or public areas to fall into place. Your values are the most closely tied to your beliefs. However, your conscious thoughts are framed by your unconscious values. If your values and your thoughts are at odds you can live a very conflict cited love fe. Get these three aligned an your authenticity living will flow much smoother. Once the inner self is examined, do your words and actions align with your beliefs and your thoughts to reflect authenticity? Monitor what Comes Out of Your Mouth What we think we often end up saying. In addition, what we say little ears hear and they repeat. More importantly little hearts hear and believe. This determines not only what they believe about themselves and the world. It creates the beliefs they use to create their own authenticity. One thing to always remember is you are the authority in your child’s life. Whatever you say they will both believe and internalize. We often say words are not important, but the truth is words are the most powerful force for good or ill in the world. Behave in Ways which Reinforce your Authenticity If I said it to one parent I have said it to thousands. “”Do as I say, not as I do”. Does not work, and it never did. The absolute truth is if you want a better life for your children, and every parent does. You have to live the life you want them to exceed. Parents are the model children emulate for their lives. How to Use Authenticity in Parenting. I have a question for you. Are you talking about and encouraging your children to live the same way through conversation and moral support? Living authentic lives requires coaching and mentoring. Parents can talk about children living their lives based on what they themselves believe. As long as it does not cause hurt, harm, or danger parents can support a child’s belief, even if they know their children need more information to make a better choice. Teaching kids to live authentically requires all five steps of mentoring. The five steps of mentoring are teaching, coaching, counseling, negotiating, and listening. Teaching authentic living requires living it, talking about your successes and challenges, listening to your children talking about their successes and challenges, clearing up misconceptions and discussing mistakes. Coaching requires being there to listen and give feedback. Counseling means being a siding board and asking thought providing questions, then leaving them to make their own decisions. Negotiating comes into play as you discover real differences between you. You need to work through your differences, and come up with something you can both live with. Listening with both an open mind and an open heart is the only way to help your child to develop true authenticity. In this world being true to yourself is not easy. Getting there is difficult, but getting there and helping your children get there, makes life worth living. Living in ways which are gratifying in immeasurable ways. Good Luck! Resources Using an Authenticity Audit can help you to begin aligning your beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions. Here is a link to one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j-VyDAbY_k

January 27, 2017

‘Super Allergies” Could Hit SA This Summer

Last year was the hottest year on earth since record-taking began, but 2016 is expected to blow this record out of the water, which according to experts could trigger so-called ‘super allergies’. Mariska van Aswegen, spokesperson for Pharma Dynamics – a leading provider of antihistamine medication – says the weather and atmospheric temperature make a huge difference to the levels of pollen and other irritants such as dust and diesel particulates in the air. “The downside of a long, hot summer is that these irritants stay suspended in the air for longer, entering the mouth or nose and landing on the delicate mucosal layer of the upper airways. Once these particles land on the membranes that line the airways, the allergen diffuses into it, setting off an allergic reaction. Not only could symptoms worsen, but hot and dry conditions could result in an extended pollen season. The hayfever season typically starts with trees pollinating from August until October. However, grass pollen then takes over with its greatest peak from November to March. “According to SA’s foremost authorities on aerobiology, climate change will significantly increase the amount of pollen in the air with average world temperatures forecast to rise 3°C to 4ºC by as early as 2060. Warmer temperatures allow trees to pollinate earlier and longer than usual. Spring in many countries already begins much earlier than a few decades ago, which means that pollen-producing plants, such as flowers, trees, grasses and weeds have a much longer pollen-producing season than in the past. Should the predicted combination of prolonged periods of warm, dry weather with intervals of some wet weather occur, we’ll experience high grass pollen counts for some time,” she remarks. Not only is this depressing news for the estimated 30% of South Africans that suffer from hayfever, but the extended hot and dry conditions could also trigger nasal allergies in those who haven’t previously suffered from hayfever. To make matters worse, people who live in towns and cities where there are higher levels of traffic pollution are at greater risk. Van Aswegen points out that the tiny particulates released by diesel fuel irritate the lining of the nasal passages and lungs making them more sensitive. “When an allergen such as pollen is also present, the airways are already primed to react, which could lead to a more severe allergic response. “Pollution may even make other airborne allergens more potent as some pollen-producing plants exposed to high levels of nitrogen oxide may spawn modified pollen that is more potent and can elicit a more severe allergic episode, also referred to as super allergies.” To ensure that super allergies don’t get in the way of your summer holiday plans, van Aswegen gives the following advice: Get pollen-wise:check the pollen forecast in your area or holiday spot (online or in the local newspaper) to plan your outdoor activities and avoid being outside when the pollen count is highest, which is usually early in the morning and evening. Also find out which pollen you’re allergic to via a skin-prick test or blood test to detect specific IgE (immunoglobulin E) antibodies.. Remember to keep doors and windows closed during peak pollen times. When the outdoors beckon: apply balm or petroleum jelly around the rim of your nose which can act as a pollen-trap. Alternatively, block pollen and other irritants by wearing a mask or bandanna over your nose and mouth. If the pollen count is very high, opt for less intense exercises. The faster you breathe, the more allergens and irritants you inhale. Traveling by plane: make sure your epinephrine injection (used to treat a severe allergic reaction known as anaphylaxis) is within date and always carry a spare. Pack these in your hand luggage along with a supply of antihistamines. If you are prone to anaphylaxis, obtain a written letter from your doctor explaining why the medicine you carry is essential, to ensure you don’t get delayed at customs. If you’re traveling alone, let the pilot or air hostess know of your condition. Do the same if you’re traveling with friends and make sure they know how to administer the emergency medication. Also have the names of those who should be contacted in an emergency handy. Using a saline nasal spray every hour could also help keep your nasal membranes moist. Planning a road trip: turn your car’s air conditioner on 10 minutes before you get in the car, preferably with the windows open, which will help remove dust and mould from the air-conditioning (AC) system. Keep car windows closed when driving to prevent pollen and other irritants from entering the car. If you’re hiring a car, ask for a model that comes with a high efficiency particulate filter as part of the AC system. Staying at a hotel: bring your own hypoallergenic pillow and mattress cover or ask for an allergy-proof room where no smoking or pets are allowed. Avoid red and swollen eyes:protect your eyes during the day by wearing sunglasses and rinsing contact lenses to get rid of dust and pollen particles. If your allergies have left you with itchy, red eyes, then take eye-drops to reduce the symptoms. “When it comes to essential hayfever treatments, such as antihistamines, these should be taken early on in the season to be most effective. If you haven’t started, start taking them now to reduce symptoms,” concludes Van Aswegen.

January 18, 2017

A Fresh Start To A New Year

We’re busy people. And we’ve passed this busy attitude on to our kids. We rush around from one thing to the next, from one year to the next, without ever stopping to reflect and take stock of where we are and where we want to go. The New Year is a great time for setting goals and thinking about what we want from life and how to get it, but we cannot possibly do this if we’re still dragging around all the baggage from the previous year. Help your kids to start this year with a clean slate, and to get into the habit of doing this regularly so that their emotional cups are not full to overflowing as they tackle the new challenges of a new year. Here’s how to do that… Help your children to make a list of everything wonderful that happened in the past year. Get them to jot down (or draw pictures) of all their achievements, things they learned, friends they made, things that happened that made them feel excited or alive, fun times, wins, beautiful moments, etc. It is always nice to start with the positive, and too often we’re so caught up in the negative that we don’t realise that every year has both good and bad. Help your kids to acknowledge some of the good and to give themselves a good hearty pat on the back! Then look at things that could’ve gone slightly better. Perhaps there were some dramas they could have done without, some areas that needed improvement, things that if they did them again, they’d like to do differently. The focus here is not on the negative, but on what can be learned and how this can be applied in the New Year. Finally look at the bad stuff – those things they wish had never happened. Now with these, you need to help them to neutralise the negative emotions associated with these events. Grab a nice big sheet of paper and some coloured markers and start brainstorming all the good that came out of these ‘negative’ events. Find out what they learned, how it helped them to grow, what hidden gifts were lurking in there. Don’t stop looking for positives until your child is feeling truly grateful for the experience. It is so important to move into a new year with a sense of completion from what happened before, otherwise we bring that negativity and resistance and fear into the year right from the start. Think about how many kids have had a terrible, nasty teacher and have allowed that one experience to mar their experience of school forever. If you approach the next year and the next teacher assuming that it will be a repeat of what was, or not learning the lesson that was tied up in that experience, then you set yourself up for more of the same. Help your kids to have realistic expectations of the year ahead by reminding them that every year has successes and challenges, and that if they find the greater meaning in the ‘bad’ times, then every year is a celebration of life.

January 17, 2017

Get bang for your buck

Most medical aids have launched their benefits and premium contributions for 2017 and, as in the past, the increases passed on to members are double figures, which outstrip inflation. Bear in mind that your actual increase may be somewhat different because often these are weighted, vary from option to option or even from dependant to dependant. The medical aid landscape can be tricky to navigate. So now, more than ever, is the time to learn how to ‘box smart’ to ensure that you maximise the value you derive from your medical scheme benefits. Dr Bobby Ramasia, Principal Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund, provides some insight into maximising the benefits on your chosen medical aid. Understand your benefits Take the time to read the information sent to you by the scheme and/or your broker. If you have access to information sessions at your place of work, or have a consultant who visits your workplace, attend the sessions to get a better understanding. Getting the best out of your hospital cover: If your scheme has appointed a Designated Service Provider (DSP) network for hospitals, you will usually pay a lower monthly contribution in exchange for using a hospital from this network for planned procedures. In the same manner, if your scheme has an arrangement in place for doctors and specialists, there will usually be an incentive (full cover by the scheme) for using ‘these’ providers. The penalty for using providers not contracted with the scheme is usually the payment of shortfalls or co-payments. For planned procedures, it’s also worth checking with your scheme if you will obtain better cover by using contracted providers or having the procedure performed in the doctor’s rooms or day clinic, where possible If you are going to be admitted to hospital for a planned procedure, always check with your scheme, at authorisation stage, if there are any co-payments or sub-limits that will apply. An example here is for joint replacements, where most schemes have specified sub-limits if you do not use their DSP. Chronic Illness Benefits: In terms of the Medical Schemes Act, there are 26 common chronic illnesses which all options on all schemes are required to cover for medication and treatment. However, here too, schemes have the ability to apply measures designed to contain costs. Almost all options on all medical schemes apply a medicine formulary. This is a list of drugs which the scheme will cover in full. If you use medication that is not on the scheme’s formulary, you will be liable for the difference in cost. So it is best to discuss the formulary medication with your doctor to see if this is appropriate for you The schemes can also specify that you obtain your medication from DSP pharmacies. Check to see if you are able to use the scheme’s DSP – if there are none close to you, most schemes also designate a courier pharmacy which will deliver the medication to you at a preferred address. So, the golden rule for chronic illness benefits is to try to utilise the medication on your scheme’s formulary and to obtain this from a specified pharmacy. Many medical schemes also cover additional chronic illnesses – although this is usually from the more expensive options. If your particular condition is not covered on your current option it is worth further investigation. It’s important to understand that this cover is at the scheme’s discretion and the additional conditions covered vary from scheme to scheme. Know your rights! In terms of a High Court ruling, Medical Schemes are obliged to meet the cost of in-hospital Prescribed Minimum Benefit procedures at cost, in full. Make sure you know what ‘in full’ means – so you don’t get any surprises. So if you have been admitted to hospital check with your doctor if it’s for one of these procedures. If so, as a general rule, you shouldn’t be saddled with any shortfalls – so ask for your broker/consultant’s assistance if you are! Why you might have co-payments A medical aid co-payment is a fee that the member is liable for when making use of certain medical services. The medical aid would not cover 100% of the costs and the member would have to pay for a certain percentage of the medical service before the medical aid pays their portion. These co-payments usually apply to specialist or elective medical procedures. This will differ from one medical aid scheme to another. It is one of the reasons why you should always do thorough research before deciding which medical aid scheme is the best option for you. The ideal option would, of course, be the one that does not require many or any co-payments from the member. If your benefits and/or savings were exhausted before the end of the year and you had to pay out-of-pocket for some medical expenses; it might save you money to upgrade to a richer plan with more benefits, albeit at a higher contribution amount. Conversely, if you are young, healthy and generally did not utilise your benefits and/or savings, it may be prudent to downgrade to a cheaper medical aid option Talk to your providers! Talk to your doctor/specialist before being admitted to hospital for a planned procedure. Check what they are going to be charging and what your scheme will cover. If there is a large difference don’t be afraid to approach your doctor to see if they are prepared to adjust their fee, especially if you could afford to pay upfront.

January 16, 2017

What Is The Recommended Screen Time For Children’s Eyes?

Many people are struggling with parenting given all of today’s modern technology, especially when it comes to the many omnipresent screens that children are currently using. Our grandparents were likely more concerned with a single screen, the one found on a lone television set in the living room. But nowadays, kids have a plethora of screens on their smartphones, tablets, televisions, computers, both at home and school. To ensure their children’s visual acuity remained intact, past parents from generations gone by were likely reminding kids to sit further away from the T.V. and limiting their screen time. So what are the recommended screen times to ensure today’s children aren’t suffering visually, mentally or emotionally? According to recent news reports, pediatricians have changed their antiquated and outdated recommendations for screens when it comes to the time kids spend using these devices currently. While experts still believe children younger than two shouldn’t be exposed to this type of digital technology, 30% of tots in diapers are comfortable using mobile devices. Paediatricians have also tweaked their recommendations about toddlers and screen exposure to include times it’s used to video chat with another parent or close relative. Screen time should also be age appropriate and younger usage should always be monitored. For example, for those children over the age of two and younger than five: Limit screen time to one hour per day and watch along with them to see how they’re absorbing and reacting to the content Avoid screen time that’s associated with either placating them or keeping them distracted Test apps or pre-watch visual materials before allow children to use or view them During meals, playtime or when in their rooms should all be screen-free zones No matter their age, parents should always be on the lookout for violent and inappropriate websites and other forms of technology. Parental controls were invented for a reason. School Aged Children Parents, teachers, faculty and physicians are all encouraged to work together in creating a “media plan” since there’s really no “one-size-fits-all” approach for children as they continue to mature. For example, research has shown that adolescent use of social media can be beneficial for their development, give them exposure to new ideas and promote circles of emotional support from their peers. On the other hand, too much time spent on these platforms can lead to depression, weight gain and a lack of sleep. Keep in mind that parents should: Be consistent, but at the same time, allow for some flexibility when it comes to circumstances like a special school project that may require online research Avoid the use of media at least an hour before bedtime and as mentioned previously, it’s not allowed during meals or other family times Communicate these guidelines to caregivers and babysitters to ensure they’re being enforced when you’re not in the picture Be sure to have ongoing discussions with your child about cyberbullying and what is (and is not) appropriate behaviour, posting and content on the world wide web. There’s a new-age idiom being used today that recommends parents advise their children to avoid posting or viewing anything that their grandparent would find offensive. It’s not only about how much time a child spends online, but how they are occupying themselves while on the internet. There should be a balance between engaging in valuable content and experiences with some recreational usage while they’re using their devices. As with almost anything else that goes with family and parenting, it’s all about balance.

January 10, 2017

Surviving the Holidays with your Munchkin

It is often the case that children cannot wait for the school holidays to start and parents for it to finish. Many a parent has wondered how their little angels turned into the Grinch who stole everyone’s Merry Christmas. Yes, grandparents who come to spoil and routines that are interrupted by vacation could be some of the many good excuses. However, the main culprit is mostly, well… us! With all the festivities in the air, we are quick to let boundaries slide “in the spirit of the Season”. Unfortunately, no kid is born holy, and will certainly not bring “joy to the world” if we do not guide them with good and consistent parenting practices. Another challenge is providing them with positive opportunities to keep themselves busy when they are not at school or kindergarten. Diet and discipline are never on holiday! As Super Granny, Andalene Salvesen emphasises in her book, Raising Happy, Healthy Children, firm discipline and a nutritious diet are foundational in a child’s behaviour and happiness. Unfortunately, the holidays frequently pose a big threat to the already difficult task of consistently implementing these basic principles. Responsible relishing. While food is an integral and awesome part of the festive season, holidays are often a time when we fill our children with the biggest load of rubbish foods and then wonder why their behaviour seems to reflect that. While we do not have constant control over what is served at parties and your child will surely on occasion have her cake and eat it too – we are still not powerless bystanders! We have the authority to lay down rules (also to grandparents and other well-meaning friends or family members) with regards to what and how much our children can have. Also, we can control what we bring to the table (literally!) and what is dished up at home and from our picnic baskets. And it certainly does not have to be boring or tasteless (start off by visiting our website for some fun and nutritious recipes)! Parenting whilst partying. When you are away from the safe space of home and surrounded by people who do not necessarily share your sentiments on discipline, it becomes an even bigger challenge to be firm and consistent. Enforcing a time-out in public places is still possible and other consequences for disobedience (such as taking away a toy or other privilege, or moving backwards on an incentive chart) are also just as doable during holidays. With older children, you can agree to “talk later when we are alone”, but with younger ones (under four), immediate consequences are mostly advised. You do not have to embarrass your child in front of others or be rude to adults who indulged them in their negative behaviours. Be gentle and loving, but firm and unapologetic. Remember, discipline is something we do for our children and not to them. The same people who might raise an eyebrow when you are the “party pooper” will not like your undisciplined brat in ten years’ time, so do not be fazed by their reactions. If you are spending prolonged time with people, kindly explain your family’s rules to them and ask them to respect it. Am I really responsible for keeping them entertained? The answer to the above is both “yes” and “no”. Time is a treasure. No toy, sponsored excursions or holiday destination could ever make up for our time. Holidays and weekends are specially designed for busy moms and dads to treat their children by giving of themselves. Make time for activities, outings and games that your children love. During these times, leave your phone and other responsibilities behind to offer undivided attention. If your child knows that he is treasured and can always rely on the prospect of special times together, his behaviour during stretches when you are busy with other things will show it. Balanced boredom. With the above said, you do not have to carry the burden of providing nonstop amusement and being your child’s constant playmate. It is also beneficial to let them keep themselves busy – even if it entails periods of boredom. Boredom is not always bad. In fact, it serves as an impetus for creative action and imagination. A child whose every second of the day is filled with structured activity might be robbed of the opportunity to think for herself. On the flip side, a child who has absolutely nothing to do will most likely end up in trouble or in a depressive “stupor”. As with everything in life – balance is the key. Have positive activity plans and playthings available, but allow for plenty of free play time. Double it up. I always like keeping my child busy with activities that serve a dual function. Food activities (e.g. baking healthy snacks, preparing meals together, etc.) is a good example of this. So is going for a fun walk to feed the ducks in the park (Vitamin D boost, exercise, getting rid of stale bread plus fun – all in one). For other great activity ideas and holiday travel tips for all ages, read this helpful Munchkins blog! Popular pitfalls. I know, I know just because the kids are on holiday does not mean you have nothing else to do. And if you don’t, I bet you are craving to relax a bit after the demanding year! Sadly, busy and tired parents often fall into traps during the holidays. Try to avoid these whenever possible: Too much screen time. This includes television, computers, I-pads, phones and any other mobile devices. Yes, most kids love them and they do seem to make for great babysitters, but ultimately they lead to too many cognitive, social, emotional and physical problems to make any of it worth it. Therefore, drastically limit screen time! This also means taking away your teen’s phone for big parts of the day. Tough love! Too much educational stuff. While many educational toys and activities are great, in excess kids

December 13, 2016

10 Questions to ask before booking a sleepover camp

There is no shortage of summer camps in North America, they are even part of the culture. The concept of an American-style summer camp is still new in South Africa and thus it is important for parents to ask the right questions when choosing a camp for their kids. Parents should be searching for a camp that prioritises safety, educational and personal development, in a safe and fun environment. To find a reliable and responsible camp it is necessary to ask the right questions. It’s best to begin with the basics such as; how long the camp has been running and what licenses the camp holds, etcetera. However, to properly judge their credibility and suitability for your child, you will have to ask questions that go beyond these basics. Here are10 Questions to ask when booking a camp for your kids: 1.What is the camp’s philosophy? As a parent, you need to be comfortable with the camp’s philosophy as your children will be guided by the camp’s philosophy during their stay. 2. How does the camp train and recruit its staff? You need to find out how the camp counsellors are trained and if the camp recruits them based on experience and merit. It’s always better to know that in the case of an emergency, your children will be in the care of people who are at least trained in emergency first response. 3. What is the return rates of campers and counsellors? According to the American Camping Association (ACA), who stipulate the camp industry’s standards, a 40 – 60 percent return rate is a good indication that the camp is reputable. It’s reassuring to know that half or more of the children return after their first visit, and also makes it more likely that your children will enjoy the camp and want to return too. 4. What is the ratio of campers to counsellors (a.k.a supervisors)? The American Camping Association guidelines for overnight camps call for a 1:6 ratio for ages 7 and 8, 1:8 for ages 9-14; and 1:10 for ages 15-18. Day camp guidelines call for 1:8 for children ages 6-8; 1:10 for children ages 9-14; and 1:12 for ages 15-18. A camp that can offer quality supervision is better than a camp that only offers full-time supervision. It’s easy to claim to offer full-time supervision, as a camp can have one counsellor looking after thirty children all day. However, if a camp offers quality supervision by allocating one counsellor to supervise only three children, you can be assured that your child is getting the full attention they need and will not be neglected. 5. How old are the counsellors? The American Camping Association recommends that 80 percent of the staff be between 18 and 35 years old, and a minimum of two years older than the campers they supervise. 6. How equipped is the camp for basic medical care and serious emergencies? The American Camping Association recommends that overnight camps should have a licensed physician or registered nurse on the site every day. There need to be medical staff working at the camp and backup facilities nearby. Should your child require medication, have food allergies or a chronic medical condition; you need to be reassured that the camp will be able to handle their needs. 7. What is the camp’s approach to discipline? The camp’s practices need to be in line with your parenting principles. In the case of a conflict between campers, you need to know that the camp handles these situations carefully. Find out what the camp’s rules are and what breaches would result in a camper being sent home. It’s important to discuss the rules and regulations with your child so they can adjust where necessary before they arrive. It is also a good idea to enquire about how the camp deals with bullying. 8. What does a typical daily schedule look like? There needs to be a balance between the level of physical and social activities held at camp. If your child favours one activity over another, it would be great to know that they could participate in this particular activity more than once, should they want to. Camps that offer a free choice of activities are definitely the better option for your child to be able to participate in activities of their preference, instead of being forced to participate in a compulsory daily program. 9. How reliable is the camp’s transport? If the kids need to be transported to different venues to and from camp, you need to be certain that their transport is reliable and safe. Enquire about who drives these vehicles and what qualifications these drivers have in order to be responsible for the transportation of campers. 10. Ask for references You need to find out about other camper’s experiences. Ask the camp for the links to their social media channels like Facebook and Google Plus. These social media channels allow people to publish reviews about the establishment which you can then read. This will give you a good idea about what other people are saying about the camp, and whether or not they are up to your standards. Alternatively, you could request quotes from past campers and the camp should willingly share this information with you. A camp that’s comfortable and proud of their practices will not refuse to share this information with you. These are definitely the top 10 questions to ask when booking a camp for your kids in order to attain the best camping experience and ensure happy campers. Give Sugar Bay camp a call on 032 485 3778 and we’ll happily answer these questions for you! Or you could head over to our website and read our Parent FAQs. And when you’re satisfied with our answers, you can easily book your camp online.

December 7, 2016

New Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls – Hugwear for moving babies

Babies can’t tell us whether they are comfortable or not or what they would rate as important features in a nappy, especially once they start exploring their surroundings and moving around more frequently. Movement can be as simple as rolling from side to side in their cribs or as strenuous as crawling or running from point to point. If you had to stop and consider what would be important factors when it comes to choosing clothes for yourself, it would be safe to assume that a good fit that does not restrain you and allows you to move freely would form part of your final decision making process. Why should it be any different when choosing a nappy that ticks all of these boxes, with the addition of a dry bottom? It becomes even more important to put your moving baby in a comfortable nappy when knowing that research has found that moving babies can move up to 3km per day. 3km a day is a considerable distance; it could be the distance from your home to your little one’s school or your favourite grocer. Walking there with a pair of uncomfortable shoes or jeans that are rigid and restricting will have most people giving up altogether or making a vow to never do it again. Luckily with new Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls your little one will not give up on moving to their hearts’ content as they will be comfortable. “Knowing that little boys and girls come in different shapes and sizes, Huggies® Gold now has a stretchy waistband and stretchy fasteners for a comfortable fit. They keep babies wrapped in a hug as comfy as the one from their mom. Our new nappies can best be described by saying they are “Hugwear for moving babies”, says Morné van Emmenes, Brand Manager for Huggies® Gold. “Babies wearing Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls will have the freedom to stretch, roll, bend, crawl, run and do whatever they chose to do without any hindrance.” Apart from offering a snug and comfy fit, Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls also has a DryTouch TM liner which is ultra-soft for ultimate skin protection. It draws wetness away from your baby in seconds, distributing the fluid evenly inside the absorbent core. The nappies still provide special tailored absorption, accommodating the differences between boys and girls, with the unique Huggies® Gold nappy shape, made to fit like underwear to facilitate extra contentment. The soft, breathable designs have pictures of ©Disney’s Mickey and Minnie Mouse to suit your little Boy or Girl. Next time you are out shopping for nappies, pay attention to that scratchy clothing tag that has been bothering you the whole day, the blister on your foot from the not so comfortable new shoes and think about continuing for another 3km. Send your moving baby off with a hug, send them off in Hugwear for moving babies. Available at major retailers, Huggies® Gold for Boys and Girls comes in four sizes: size 3 (6 – 10 kg); size 4 (8 – 14 kg); size 4+ (12 – 16 kg) and size 5 (15+ kg). The product is on offer in a bag and a megabox. Compliment nappy changes with Huggies® Wipes, unlike other wipes on the market, they are made from three layers of a unique material that contains 65% natural fibres. Made with a cotton-like base sheet, 99% water and a formulation with no added nasties like alcohol or parabens they clean gently, locking away the mess and quickly refreshing baby’s sensitive skin.

December 1, 2016

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