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Advice from the experts

8 Best apps for parents to monitor their children

Monitoring the activities of the children has become a huge challenge for the parents in the modern days. Mobile phones and children can be a dangerous duo. You are always fearful about their mobile activities. Kids nowadays tend to use their elders’ mobile phones or their own mobile phones at a little age. This poses a great threat to their parents as they fail to monitor their kids’ mobile use. However, there are a variety of apps that enable you to monitor your kids and limit their mobile activities. Following are a few most significant apps for controlling your kids: mSpy mSpy is the most widely used parental control app for the smartphones. It enables the parents to monitor the calls, location, Whatsapp, Snap chat, and text messages of the children. This app has plenty of useful features. It specifically allows you to limit the social media usage by the kids. You can control your kids’ Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, and even photos and videos. The use of mSpy is pretty easier. You just need to purchase the mSpy or subscribe. Then you need to install the app,and your tracking process is initiated. The parents have most satisfied with this app. They offer 24/7 multi-language customer support. In addition, mSpy is one of the cheapest child phone tracker applications. Footprints Using the Footprints app, you can always acknowledge the location of your child. It allows you to use the GPS in real time for knowing where your child is. This app assists you in keeping track of your kid or automatically locate him. It keeps you aware of where your goes with his phone. In case he is traveling alone, you can confirm whether he is meeting up with friends or has arrived at a particular location. The information regarding his location is only shared with the authorized person. No other person can access his location. The data can also be saved for later review. Dinner Time There are a few apps that limit the mobile use of your child. Dinner Time is one of the apps that restrict the use of the mobile device during bedtime, study time, and dinnertime. This app enables you to unlock and lock your child’s mobile device instantly. You can do this by your own mobile device. Therefore, you can enjoy a better time with your family and make your kid focus on sleep and school work. However, it is a necessity of this app that the device of the child must be android. The device of parents can be Android, iPhone or any other. This app does not work if the child’s mobile device is not android. Overall, it is a wonderful app which offers three modes including Bed Time, Take a Break and Dinner Time. All these modes limit the use of the mobile device by your child. Family Time Family Time is an app that does almost everything. It allows you to customize the control options for behavior and content that you need to prevent. The app offers you tools for setting bedtime and homework. You can restrict the time that your children spend on their smartphones. It also offers a geo fencing option. This alerts you when the phone enters a prohibited area. It also enables you to control or block any applications, keep an eye on their contact lists, and monitor their calls and text messages. This child phone tracker app may trouble parents at the start. Hence, you need some time for learning how to use this app. It isn’t one of the simplest to use applications. Q studio Q studio is an excellent, efficient, and use the friendly app for the parents who don’t have enough time. It provides a dashboard which expresses all the recent mobile activities on any device. It even determines the time spent on different services such as Twitter and Instagram. It allows you to set restrictions on time, track the calls and texts, filter out the racy sites, and set restrictions on the different apps and games. It is one of the top control software for limiting the children’s mobile activities and usage. ESET Parental Control ESET is another leading parental control app specifically for Android devices. ESET has several useful features that permit for more delicate control than many other child security applications. It allows website and app locks. A key feature is that you can select age-based features that can be switched as the children grow up. It gives you an opportunity to allow more number of websites in the future while keeping them protected. There is an additional feature of parent message which delivers a message that kids need to respond to prior to continuing using their smartphone. ESET also allows the kids to request additional time, but parents can set the limits on the device use. Pumpic Pumpic is an app that can be used on both iOS and Android devices. Its clean interface assists the parents to deal with the lengthy list of the tools that usually come up with the app. It allows you to tracks messages and calls and limit and blocks them as required. You can also monitor the websites visited by your child along with his activities on social media. There is also an option for tracking the location of the device and the history of the locations where the device has been. In addition, you can wipe and lock down the mobile device. Our Pact Specifically designed for iOS devices, this app is a cheap option for mobile control of your kid. It is a streamlined app that provides fundamental parental control services. It does not make you get complicated. Instead, it is an easy to use app. It offers one of the most affordable plans for utilizing the parental control services. Using this app, you can block the internet access of your child. You can also develop different time schedules and pose limits on the access of specific apps and websites. It

January 9, 2019

‘Oh Shit!’

The day I had been dreading has finally arrived: the day my potty mouth has made me fail as a mother. ‘Oh, shit!’, my almost two-year-old exclaims with glee as I am busy wiping up the water I just spilled all over the table, while sitting at one of our favourite child-friendly restaurants in Johannesburg He is, of course, copying what I had just said a minute ago when I knocked my glass over, and although I try and ignore the words, not wanting to make a big deal out of the situation, Bean is now excitedly running around the garden repeating my profanity – over and over and over again. A few days later, I am trying to phone our gardener, Robert, but the signal keeps cutting out. I, out of frustration, shout into the phone, ‘Robert, ROBERT, ROBBEERT’, misguidedly thinking that this will miraculously change the signal quality of our call. Bean, being the parrot that he is, starts shrieking in a voice which eerily sounds like my own, ‘Robert, ROBERT, ROBBEERT’. I stop, shocked, and in my best voice repeat, ‘Hello Robert’ in the hope that when he sees Robert again, he does not repeat my shrieking outburst (not that this has helped – poor Robert gets shrieked at, at least once every time he is here). Do I really sound that bad? And look so scary when I am upset? Because Bean, not only successfully copies my words and my voice, no, he manages expression as well! And the worst of it all is that I cannot even be angry at him – he is simply doing what a toddler does, using me as an example. And so, I laugh, a reaction which Bean loves and a reaction which makes him want to repeat whatever it was that I thought was so funny. It’s a trap, and a very humbling one at that. If you think that someone needs a humbling experience, put them in the same room as a parrot-toddler. There is nothing quite like your pride and joy holding up that figurative mirror, happily showing you all the flaws which you have so successfully been able to ignore all these years, in all their glory. Whether it’s your potty mouth or your frustrated ‘AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH’ when something does not want to work as it’s supposed to, trust me, your ‘parrot-toddler’ will repeat it. And he will repeat it at the most inconvenient time, while you are proudly telling someone of your most recent parenting win, for example. Luckily, Bean manages to copy the good as well, the parts of me that I am quite happy to share and see repeated, the parts which make me proud. So, from now on (yes, I have mentioned this before, quite a few times in fact, but repetition does at some point lead to learning) I will focus on the good and try and be better, calmer, more patient. We have started using the words, ‘Oh, sherbet’ now and that seems to be doing the trick but, I have to admit, every now and again, when my guard is down and I am tired and frustrated, that true Alexa potty mouth still makes an appearance. Flaws do not get ironed out overnight it seems. And as for Robert, well, he just laughs. Luckily, he is quite taken by our little Bean it seems.

January 8, 2019

Chicco Oral Care Collection

Chicco, the 360 degree solution to baby care, is now in South Africa on a never-before-seen scale, distributing products that range from nursing to weaning to toys and travel lines – and everything in between. The oral care collection is a fantastic solution for those first dental lessons taught to babies as young as 6 months. Where there’s a tooth – there’s a reason to look after it, right? Chicco toothpaste, available with or without fluoride, bring your child two delicious flavours to get them used to dental care. Beginning with the banana/apple flavour for weaning children, a non-abrasive formula protects milk teeth and has xylitol to protect from cavities. Strawberry flavour then takes over for older children and has bio-available calcium to keep teeth strong. Combine one of these flavours with a Chicco small head toothbrush, designed to fit inside small mouthed children and boasting the innovative soft ‘tapered technology’ bristles to be soft and non-irritating on gums. Available in pink or blue, the toothbrushes have anti-slip handles that can be easily gripped by either the child or parent. The oral collection is available at various baby products retailers as well as www.takealot.com and www.loot.co.za.

January 8, 2019

4 Mistakes couples make about money

The reality is that finances, if not properly managed and understood by each partner, can be a major source of tension in any relationship, and financial stress is one of the leading causes of relationship breakdowns. Have you been postponing the money talk? Feel a bit uncomfortable talking it? It’s probably better to rather talk about it earlier. You don’t have to open a joint bank account if you’re not ready, but you do need to learn how to manage money jointly once you start sharing expenses. When kids join the picture, this quickly becomes very important. Sometimes it’s easier to learn from other people’s mistakes, so take a look at these common errors made by couples over money. 1. Skipping the Household Budget When you’re busy and have 1000 things to do, it is easy to just skip the money conversation. Being busy with work, home projects and the kids it is easy to become distracted and can lead to some dismal days at the end of the month, like, say, running out of money for rent. There are a lot of ways to do it, from splitting every expense down the middle to dividing up the bills by expense (I’ll take the utilities; you take the groceries) or proportionally (I make more, so I’ll pay 70% of the bills and you pay 30%). The method you choose isn’t as important as the act of sharing responsibilities and deciding who’s in charge of what. If you haven’t had the conversation yet, don’t worry rather late than never. 2. Not Communicating About Your Cash Ever notice how the biggest fights often start because you push off actually talking about an issue and then it just explodes? Money works like that, too. If you’re swimming along without regularly checking in about money, you’re likely in for an unpleasant surprise eventually. No – that 30-second conversation, in which you observed that “it seems like we’re doing fine” – does not count as checking in. If you don’t think spending R1500 on gadgets in one month is reasonable but your partner does, you’d better raise that as soon as possible. And if you share a bank account, you both should normally know about how much is in there to avoid getting into trouble with an overdraft. We suggest touching base at least once a month, but ideally, once a week. If you’re talking money often, the discussions can be quick and less painful overall. 3. Not Having a Common Goal Couples that save together stay together. You’ll feel a real sense of accomplishment as a couple if you both contribute to a common cause, whether it’s a weekend getaway, a new car, or a down payment on a house. You don’t necessarily have to contribute equally if one of you is a stockbroker and the other a barista, but make sure the contributions feel fair. It is important that both feel responsible for achieving the goals you both agreed on otherwise, it can quickly feel like the one person only spends money and the other needs to worry where it comes from. Having a savings goal also ramps up the pressure to save faster – and that’s all for the good. 4. Modelling your relationship after your parents’ relationship We are different people in a different time. You need to figure out what works for you. It is easy to think that their only exists two options to earn money in a relationship. The first option is that one partner takes the lead role and earns money, while the other partner raises the kids. If that’s not an option then traditionally both want or need to work and kids don’t really fit into that lifestyle. There are two other options. Either you could alternate between taking the lead and raising the kids or you and your partner could work together. The alternating option gives both parents the chance to have a huge impact on their kids’ childhood and have a career. The complementary option does, however, require the partners to have complementary skills. Think a designer and a web developer. Or an architect and a quantity surveyor. The point is that there are other options and it takes some thinking a purposeful design to get to a lifestyle that will work for both parents. The earlier you and your partner can form a shared understanding of, and commitment to, your future goals and objectives, the better off you’ll both be. Hero Life is a company that offers a free online Will, helps you to start saving for your kids’ education, and offers life insurance, designed specifically for young parents. Hero Life is an MMI Group initiative, and underwritten by Guardrisk Life Limited (Reg no 1999/013922/06), an authorised Financial Services Provider (FSP license number 76). Visit herolife.co.za for more info or WhatsApp us at +27 73 916 9367 to learn more. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/herolifeZA/ #BeAHero #SuperSavvy #HeroParents

January 7, 2019

Review: Chicco EasyFit Baby Carrier

Chicco EasyFit Baby Carrier is a great little carrier. There are no complex instructions and it just fits! This product was right up my ally! Every parent can agree that the hardest part of being is a new parent is the first 6 months. You want to be close to baby and baby wants to be close you, so this carrier allowed my little one to stay comforted with me and I got to have my hands free to enjoy the small pleasures in life…. A cup of coffee. Baby can either face the parent or look at the world around them (all in one movement). It is suitable from birth to a maximum weight of 9kgs. Baby’s head and neck also have excellent support. It is lightweight and the soft fabric really ensures that my little one is comfortable at all times. I am a bit of a researcher when trying new products with my little one so this is what I found: The wider m-position seat ensures the proper infant position The International Hip Dysplasia Institute acknowledges the Chicco Easy Fit as a hip healthy product My morning coffee, my quick run into the shops for some milk and bread just got a whole lot easier! The Chicco Easy Fit Baby Carriers is stocked through the following retailers from December: Baby City, Babies R Us, Hamleys, www.takealot.com, www.loot.com at R699.99.

December 19, 2018

R2.1 Million to celebrate MYSCHOOL 21 Years of Giving Back

The MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet community loyalty programme is celebrating 21 years of giving back. To date more than R500 million has been raised for South African schools, charities, animal and environmental causes thanks to supporters swiping their cards at participating retailers. In celebration of its 21st anniversary, MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet has launched the ‘21 years of Giving Back’ campaign with R2.1 million to give away to 21 causes. Supporters are invited, until the end of February 2019, to nominate any South African charitable organisation that matters to them. In May, 21 winning beneficiary organisations will be chosen from the list of nominations to each receive R100 000, and the supporters who nominated them will each receive a R1 000 Woolies Giftcard. Originally, an innovative school fundraising concept, the programme has evolved over the past 21 years so that cardholders today also support other causes that are close to their hearts. MyVillage beneficiaries are a wide range of human development and care charities; while MyPlanet refers to those beneficiary organisations whose work involves animal welfare, conservation and environmental causes. Each cardholder can nominate up to three beneficiaries, and donations are made by participating retailers on their behalf, and at no cost to them. 21 years down the line, there are 1 200 000 active cardholders raising funds for over 8 000 beneficiaries of the MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet programme, of which over 890 000 swipe for schools; 102 000 for MyVillage charities and 137 000 for MyPlanet organisations. To celebrate 21 years of giving back, cardholders can nominate their favourite beneficiary or any other cause in their community. “We want to encourage our supporters to also consider bringing local, smaller organisations doing heroic work in their communities into the fold; and for whom the giveaway of R100 000 can make a considerable difference,” says MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet General Manager, Pieter Twine. Year on year, more and more South Africans sign up for their free MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet cards. Over the past fiscal year a total of just over R83 000 000-00 was raised with R7 326 047-96 and R10 491 111-07 going to MyVillage and MyPlanet beneficiaries, respectively. For many schools, charities and conservation organisations, MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet has become a sustainable and meaningful source of funds. Funds raised by cardholders have also enabled some important donations over the last year. Thanks to the supporters of the MyPlanet Rhino Fund, a new FoxBat aircraft was donated to the Kruger National Park to help combat Rhino poaching. A major donation to the Shine Literacy programme helped to support their expansion and the promotion of reading skills. In 2018, the first Dream2Teach bursaries were awarded to two young South Africans who have the calling to become teachers but couldn’t afford tuition fees. Twine says, “The amounts raised are a true testament to what happens when people collaborate and the impact that can be achieved when many people’s contributions collectively provide support to causes. The funds raised through the programme can play an important role in enabling MyVillage and MyPlanet organisations to pay their monthly bills, or even provide them with opportunities to scale up their services or start new, much-needed projects.” Across South Africa, large, national charities as well as smaller, local causes are well-supported by the MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet programme. Over the past year, the top MyVillage supported by Capetonians is the National Sea Rescue Institute (NSRI) and the most popular MyPlanet is the SPCA-Cape of Good Hope, South Africa’s oldest SPCA. In Johannesburg, CHOC Childhood Cancer Foundation was the most supported MyVillage and the Endangered Wildlife Trust emerged as the top MyPlanet beneficiary. Durban MyPlanet cardholders raised significant funds for the local SPCA-Durban & Coast; while I Care, who are devoted to finding meaningful and sustainable solutions to the challenge of street children, is one of the top MyVillage beneficiaries. In Pretoria, local animal welfare organisation Wetnose Animal Rescue was the top MyPlanet beneficiary and the most popular MyVillage was the SA National Council for the Blind. Port Elizabeth cardholders raised the most funds for their local branch of the Animal Welfare Society and for the Aurora Children’s Centre which cares for children with physical and intellectual disabilities. Similarly in Bloemfontein, local animal welfare organisation, New Beginnings was the top MyPlanet organisation and the most popular MyVillage beneficiary was the Carel du Toit Centre which provides vital services for children with hearing impediments. “It’s been a fantastic year of not just supporting national causes but also the smaller community-based organisations and causes,” Twine concludes. “We hope that R2.1million to give away to 21 causes to celebrate 21 Years of Giving Back will inspire supporters to put their local heroes in the spotlight and give them a chance to win R100 000 towards the continuation fo their important work within communities. MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet is also making donations to a selection of causes, in celebration of their milestone birthday. So far 21 of the SPCA’s most in need each received R10 000-00; 21 000 Book Dash books were added to Santa’s Shoeboxes; 2 100 Tutudesks will be donated to learners at under-resourced schools in Limpopo; and 21 ‘Smiles’ (cleft lip/palate operations) with Operation Smile will be implemented in April 2019. The 21 Years of Giving Back campaign is open to MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet supporters throughout the country. If you are not yet a cardholder, you can sign up for free at www.myschool.co.za or download the MySchool MyVillage MyPlanet App, nominate the cause that matters to you, and be part of the active citizenship our country needs.

December 17, 2018

5 ways to make your home child-friendly

A crucial part of being a new parent is creating a safe environment for your child to live and grow up in, and a primary step in achieving this goal is making your home child-friendly. It involves numerous tasks that need to be done around the house, all of which, once completed, will ensure your child’s security within the bounds of his or her home. If you’re a bit stuck on what needs to be done or feel you’ve missed a step, then take note of these important tips. Ensure all locks and latches work properly First on your list should be the locks. Of course, they’re a priority from the get-go for your own security, but you’ll want every single one of them checked by the time your child is big enough to be able to operate them. There’s the danger of your young son or daughter wandering out of your sight and into the garden, basement or garage, where they might get hurt. Do note that some locking mechanisms might be easier to handle than others, so make sure there’s absolutely no means for your child to get outside or into an unsafe part of the house when unsupervised. Not only do your locks need to be in working order, but all keys need to be kept out of reach, so find a good hiding place for them. Cover up all electrical outlets Located all over your house, and often close to the floor, electrical sockets are an ever-present danger for curious children. Prevent them from harm by proofing every single electrical outlet in your home. It’s easily done, thanks to those trusty outlet covers. They’re affordable and easily usable barriers that’ll protect your kids from a nasty shock. Install a baby gate Baby gates are a common feature of any household that has recently welcomed a new addition. When your child starts to crawl, be sure to have one or more of these handy devices installed in your house. Once you’ve done this, there’ll be no threat of your child wandering into a dangerous part of the house unaccompanied. Baby-proof gates are mandatory for all homes with small children living in them, especially those with staircases. Depending on which room you’re in, you can also move your baby gate to another part of the house, in order to keep an eye on your child and ensure they remain in close proximity while you’re working or doing chores. Pad and anchor your furniture Your furniture can also prove hazardous to your children, but there are means of avoiding serious injury. Firstly, cover the edges and corners of items such as tables and chairs with protective padding. This will guard your kids from any painful bumps on the head. Secondly, anchor large pieces of furniture to the wall to stop them from falling over. Kids can be tempted to climb furniture, which can end badly if proper safety measures aren’t in place. Store items cleverly and cautiously You shouldn’t stop at merely stabilising your furniture. Also remove from all high surfaces any object your child might want to get their hands on. This could be anything from toys to the television; if it’s the latter, place it on a lower surface or anchor it to the wall, or do both. There are also items you must keep well away from your children at all times–store detergents and other kinds of cleaning equipment in a high cupboard, and make sure sharp objects are carefully hidden away. Take these tips into account when you’re starting a family and getting your house ready for it. You’ll be ensuring a safe and comfortable environment for your child and for yourself if you do.

December 14, 2018

Chicco Ultra Soft Baby Carrier

Now in South Africa on an even bigger scale, the world-famous Italian baby products Chicco bring you the fantastic Ultra Soft Baby Carrier. A 2-in1 system, the carrier allows your child to face inwards towards the parent for comfort, or outward to face the wide world and explore. Made with a soft, mini-vented lining, mesh side panels and adjustable side straps, the Ultra-Soft is also machine-washable. With an added bib and two mesh storage pockets, the design is slick yet generic enough to match any occasion or outfit. An added cuddle pocket helps create a sense of closeness to the parent during sleepy time. The Chicco Ultra Soft Baby Carrier is available from December at Baby City, Babies R Us, Hamleys, www.takealot.com, www.loot.com and other retailers. Grab one now for R799.99.

December 12, 2018

Chicco Cosmos Car Seat

Chicco car seats are known for being some of the most high quality, yet affordable car seats in the world. As from January 2019, Chicco will now have a range of car seats, baby nursery furniture, strollers, travel systems and other indoor necessities never before seen in SA. One of the best priced car seats in the Chicco range is the Cosmos – the car seat that will take care of your child on a 4 year journey. Cosmos is the Chicco Group 0 + / 1 car seat designed for transporting children up to 18 kg in weight in cars, approved according to ECE R44 / 04. The reducer cushion is great for little ones to be held snug and can be removed as the child grows and the seat becomes wider and more welcoming. The reclining nature of the seat and the exceptional comfort make the Cosmos great for younger babies. The cover is removable and washable. The Chicco Cosmo is available from January at Baby City, Babies R Us, Hamleys, www.takealot.com, www.loot.com and other retailers for R2499.99.

December 10, 2018

Dealing with first year failure- temporary setback, not lifelong failure

Thousands of first year students receiving their end of year results are having to face up to the fact that their dreams for the future are not materialising quite as they expected when they walked through the doors of higher learning at the start of the year. And while many of these students may consider throwing in the towel, that would be a mistake, an education expert says. “First-year dropout rates are sky-high in South Africa,” says Peter Kriel, General Manager at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education provider, “but students who don’t successfully make the transition from school to university on their first attempt shouldn’t be discouraged. Instead, they should re-assess their situation and continue on their higher learning path with a new strategy.” While statistics vary, it is estimated that more than 40% of students quit their studies after their first year. Some put the figure as high as 60%. “If you failed or performed badly in your first year, you should not view this as an eternal pronouncement on your ability (or lack thereof) to make a success of your studies and ultimately earn a degree,” says Kriel. “There are many, many young people who don’t achieve optimally right from the start, and by asking yourself a few questions about your direction and looking clearly at your options, you can still go forth confidently and make a success of higher learning,” he says. Kriel says while there are many underlying issues which contribute to first year failure, including factors such as difficulty adapting to the new environment and workload, as well as socio-economic or personal factors, a major contributor to first-year dropout is the fact that many students didn’t thoroughly do their homework before deciding what to study and where. Too often, prospective students simply go the traditional and some would say outdated route of signing up for a generic degree at their nearest public university, and then find themselves having to burn the midnight oil trying to digest information in which they have little interest, and which doesn’t seem to correlate closely to anything practical that can be applied in the workplace. “As a result, there is this disconnect between what the student is required to engage in day in and day out, and what they envision will be necessary to get their foot in the door in the ‘real world’ of work. “So the first step for students who either failed their first year, or who passed but just can’t see themselves continuing on their current path, is to take a step back and re-assess what they want and where they are going.” Importantly, they need to approach this with the commitment that they will continue and see through their studies, even if it means finding a different approach that makes more sense for them personally, Kriel says. Then they should do one (or a combination of) the following: WORK HARDER The volume and complexity of the workload increases exponentially between school and higher education. If it is simply a case of you having misjudged what is required of you, undertake to start afresh next year and put in the effort consistently, from day one. WORK SMARTER Sometimes too much time and attention are given to one or two areas of work, while others are neglected. Sometimes the way you approach certain tasks is not as efficient as it could be. Here is it helpful to ask your institution’s career centre or student advisors (a good institution must offer these services), for help and guidance with your study strategy. FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU If a student isn’t pursuing a field that makes them excited about their learning and ultimately their future career, they are bound to lose momentum and interest in completing their studies. If it is clear at this stage that a first year’s chosen qualification isn’t working out, it is better to pursue a new path, rather than spending time and money trying to make the wrong one work. But very importantly, when considering a different qualification, students must ensure they properly research all available offerings. There are many new and exciting fields with work-focused qualifications that students may not even have been aware of in the past. FIND AN INSTITUTION THAT WORKS FOR YOU Higher education is no walk in the park, and making the transition from being assisted by teachers who know your name at school, to being a number sitting in front of a lecturer who needs to get hundreds of students through the year’s curriculum, can be daunting. That is why it makes sense to find a higher education institution which is able to offer smaller class sizes and individual attention, which makes a marked difference to individual student outcomes. “Our message to discouraged first years is to not give up. Don’t view your past year as a wasted one – no education is ever wasted. Take the lesson and make the corrections where needed, and build on what you’ve achieved thus far,” says Kriel.

December 5, 2018

15 Lessons from a second-time mom

Congratulations on your second pregnancy! Wondering what lies ahead – besides a couple of extra stretch marks, additional lost sleep and, of course, the cutest, new baby? Here are some things I’ve learned that might help you prepare yourself and your family for Number Two. Yes, you will love the second one as much as you love the first. The science behind this apparently works as follows: The moment your child is delivered, its empty space inside your body is filled with all the love you require for it. Or something like that. Rest. When. You. Can. Understood – it’s much more difficult during a second pregnancy when you need to keep up with another little busybody. Moreover, if you’re working and running (sometimes literally) a household on top of that, it can be exhausting. Therefore, you might need to actively plan for resting times: Say no to things, resign from things, delegate things. Use weekends wisely and do not stay up late. You’re going to be stretched even further. Your body, that is. Your muscles are probably still shot from the first round of baby building and your organs still stuck in obscure places, so your belly can just expand without restriction. This is normal. Go big! Make a big thing about becoming a big brother/sister. Get your eldest excited about his sibling in a developmentally appropriate way. Read children’s books about pregnancy; let him help to prepare the nursery and pick out baby necessities; take him to sonar appointments; let him pray over or talk to the baby in your tummy. Also, make sure he understands that he will soon be sharing your attention with a needy baby, but that you’ll love him all the same. Get re-birth ready. While everyone’s story is unique, it’s common for second births to be quicker and a tad gentler since your body now has muscle memory to go by. Whatever route you plan (or do not plan) to follow – C-section vs normal; epidural vs unmedicated; home vs hospital – just make sure you have worked through any anxieties you might have after the first birth, especially if it was traumatic. Fear increases pain, reduces your satisfaction with the delivery and disturb those first bonding moments. It could even negatively affect the pregnancy. Work through your worries with a mentor, counsellor or friend. Be brave! Do something special for the first sibling sighting. A great idea is to have them “exchange gifts” (that you bought on their behalf, of course). Try to have space on your lap or in your arms for big sister or brother, so that their first impression of the baby is not that it took over their place. Thicken your skin. Your firstborn is most probably going to comment on your postpartum body in a less-than-diplomatic way. Steel yourself for anything from, “Is there another baby in your stomach?” to, “Why are you too fat to close your buttons?” Mind your marriage amid the madness! Don’t forget that you are firstly your spouse’s wife. Your marriage is not the “extra thing” you need to tick off from your to-do list – it’s the backbone of your family! Read more… It takes a village! Especially in those first few weeks, you absolutely need support. Have a good discussion with your spouse beforehand about realistic role division during the early days. Book a friend or family member to come and stay with you for a while or hire help if need be! Try your very best not to be alone with both kids for an extended period. Recovery 102. You might not bounce back as quickly as the first time…You are older. Your body has endured two pregnancies (and possibly double surgeries). You now have much more on your plate and exercising or fixing low-calorie salads may not happen soon. Have more patience. Eat less ice cream. Appreciate your incredible anatomy when you look at yourself in the mirror. Routine! Try to keep your eldest in a routine as much as possible. If your new normal will require changes – communicate it clearly. Don’t spoil her too much with treats, screen time, etc. because you feel sorry for them, or it temporarily makes your life easier – you will regret this later! Find a new rhythm for the family as soon as you realistically can. Read here about re-establishing routines. Again: Rest. When. You. Can. Capitalise on maternity leave – don’t see this as your opportunity to get things done. If there ever is a moment when both little ones are napping – join them! Dishes can wait. Postpartum depression is real. Catch it before it catches you. Be honest about your mental state and get help early on. BFFs in the making… The sibling relationship is one that will probably outlive you. Encourage it, treasure it and enjoy watching it develop. Here are some hints for parenting the pair. Expect to be surprised. Your second child is not a copy/paste version of the first. He will look different and be different, and you might need to figure out parenting all over again. She might be an unexpected angel. Or he might humble you with the realisation that you weren’t actually Parent of the Year before – your firstborn just had a more easy-going nature. Enjoy your new extended family! Double trouble? We can help! If you struggle to cope with the pressures of being a second-time parent, or if the new baby has created fresh chaos in your home – contact one of the Munchkins coaches to assist you in finding a new balance.

November 22, 2018

Making Your Home Toddler-Proof

In South Africa, a child is most likely to injure themselves at home – far more so than anywhere else. This is largely due to children’s confidence and curiosity at home, together with an adult’s inability to be everywhere at once, or to have eyes on children at all possible times; it’s human nature. The importance of being vigilant with pool safety cannot be overstated. The same is true when it comes to keeping your children safe in the home – particularly toddlers, who are keen to explore and gain some independence (without necessarily taking much heed of parents’ rules). Putting certain steps in place within the home will help you keep your child as safe as possible while allowing them to continue to learn, explore and develop. Teach your kid how to be safe in the kitchen The kitchen is often a favourite place of toddlers, what with it being where food is made. An interest in food and cooking should be encouraged from a young age, but the kitchen is clearly a particularly hazardous place for toddlers. Keep all electrical appliances out of reach and always make sure all pan handles are facing into the wall, away from the edge of the hob. Make any budding young chefs your ‘sous chef’, assigning them their own area of the kitchen while making sure they know the rules of the kitchen (for example, asking you, the head chef, for permission before attempting a new task). Give the toddler their own apron and child-friendly cutlery, as well as a safe task to do. Giving kids a task like cutting mushrooms will keep them busy and in your eyeline, also giving them a rewarding and educational activity in the process. Make your bathroom safe Never leave a toddler unattended in the bath. Not only can children drown in just a few inches of water, but slips and burns are most likely to occur in the bathroom. To prevent the risk of scalding, turn the cold water tap on first before using the hot water, and make sure the water is no hotter than 120°F. Place an anti-slip mat on the bottom of the bath and underneath the showers. Mop up any spillages on the floor immediately and consider using tap covers to prevent curious little people scalding themselves by turning the hot tap on. Finally, make sure that any medicines, razors and electrical appliances are kept high up in a cupboard and out of reach from children. Keep hazardous items out of reach Toddlers love to open drawers and empty them. With this in mind, make sure you keep anything that is potentially dangerous out of their clutches. This includes earplugs, tweezers, and medicines, which you may absentmindedly keep in your bedside drawer. Scissors, glue, and detergents are other examples of things that must be kept out of sight. For peace of mind, put child-safety locks on any cupboard doors containing potentially harmful objects. Be vigilant and realistic As a parent or carer, the responsibility of looking after a toddler can feel overwhelming at times. Let’s face it, accidents are going to happen; you cannot prevent that. However, many child accidents and injuries at home can be prevented. By putting sensible measures in place and keeping an eye on your toddler’s play at home, you give yourself the best chance of keeping them safe.

November 22, 2018

Connecting with your teenager

As a mother of four teenagers, it would be plausible for me to hail myself as all knowledgeable on the topic of connecting with teenagers. Unfortunately, connecting with your child is not a science – it requires continuous enthusiasm and effort. The same enthusiasm and effort that was shown to them when they were infants, toddlers and tweenies. Unlike other stages of your child’s development, the daunting part of connecting with a teenager is respecting that they have opinions and ideologies of their own, which are occasionally in conflict with your own. I asked my children about their views on the way we connect. For the first time in recent history they agreed with one another. We connect through mutual respect and compromise, two principles that can only be attained by communication. As a family we have established a variety of rituals that began in their early childhood. These have aided communication throughout their teenage years. Like many other mothers in the world, I juggle a career and the responsibilities of single parenting. The reality of life is that there is not much time for individual, sit-down, deep and meaningful conversations with my children. We all, however, have to eat and mealtime is communication time. I insist upon us eating together at a specified time every day – it is a non-negotiable rule in our home that is observed in the morning and in the evening. Gathering in the morning allows us to communicate our plans for the upcoming day. This is the time when I focus on the events for that day which are important to my teenagers; we are able to remind each other about what we have to do in the day; and it is often the opportunity to appreciate how much each individual family member has to cope with on that particular day. Between work, school and sport, all our days are busy and there is little time for each other between sunrise and sunset. During these hours there is a lot to be positively said for the power of social media. We have a family Whattsapp group and at some point throughout the day, one of us will send a message or an emoji or a meme. It takes all of a second, yet it can communicate love, encouragement or most often just share a little bit of family humour. Should I receive an email during the day that is pertinent to one of my teenagers, I forward it to them directly. This gives them the opportunity to be accountable for their own commitments and ensures that I don’t forget to pass on important information. Dinner time is when it all comes together. This is the time when I get the “scoop” of the day, with each teenager adding their little bit of “spice”. We are by no means the “Brady Bunch”, as dinner time often ends with more than one person disgruntled. Respect and compromise get their time to shine at this point. It is the moment when opportunities are taken by the teens to ask for permission (which often requires compromise on both our parts) or to let me know about altercations and celebrations that have happened in the day. It gives us the chance to debate current topics and to respectfully disagree with each other. I cannot help but dismiss the theory that it is not quantity, but quality that counts when spending time with your children. It is the daily quantitative communication that affords you the opportunity to discuss and advise teenagers on small issues before they become big challenges. Of course, connectivity is a relative concept. I would venture to suggest that finding the connectivity balance is the most challenging part of being a parent to teenagers. When my husband died seven years ago, I vividly remember one of my first thoughts being along the lines of not wanting my children to feel too connected to me as they became teenagers and thus feeling the need to be responsible for me. At that point in time I decided that all my children would leave home when going to university. This year, my first baby left to study in a different province. It has been the second most difficult time in both our lives and we count the days until we see each other. As difficult as it is for us both, it is an integral part of cementing our connectivity as adults. We talk every day, albeit that the time we spend chatting has become shorter as the year has progressed. The stronger the connection, the more difficult it is to disconnect. Just as we, as parents, are responsible for making the connection, so we are responsible for encouraging a certain amount of disconnection to take place at the right time. Throughout my teenagers’ latter years, I have noticed a few of their peers’ parents struggle with levels of connectivity. When our children become teenagers, we also tend to get a second lease on life. We have increased freedom and time – it is tempting to use our connectivity with them as a channel to re-live our own teenage years. A point of danger. Whilst the concept of being a “cool” parent is tempting and, I must confess, I have experienced a little “cool” parent envy myself – it is a point of caution. Their friends are not your friends. The goal is to keep the connectivity alive through adulthood and not to short circuit it in teenage years. Like all stages of parenting, there is no blueprint for how to connect with your teenagers. You need to establish which gatherings work for your family in your circumstances. Family traditions that are established in early childhood are the power for communication that is the wire for connectivity throughout the teenage years, with the ultimate objective being its transformation throughout adulthood. By Natalie Lee, Teacher at Pecanwood College

November 21, 2018

What to do if your teenager is depressed

Growing up can be an emotional rollercoaster, during which a young person has to contend with many high and lows, from school and friendships to puberty and their sexuality. If you have noticed that your teenager seems to be experiencing more lows than highs, and these lows are happening more and more frequently, this may be a sign that they are struggling with depression. It can be distressing to watch your teenager feel constantly sad and low. However, it’s important to know that you’re not alone, and the most important step you can take to help is to seek help. Here, we provide information on the symptoms of depression in teenagers to look out for, as well as guidance on the ways that you can support them. What does depression feel like for your teenager? Whilst it’s normal to feel sad occasionally, the intense and overwhelming low moods that depression causes can stop your teenager from getting pleasure from things they usually enjoy. This all-encompassing sadness can also prevent them from being able to function and perform daily tasks. We have outlined what depression actually feels like for a teenager to help you understand what they may be going through: For young people, depression can feel like they have a sieve in their head, which washes away all positive reinforcements and keeps hold of all negativity, which they focus on and magnify A teenager may feel like they are wearing a mask in front of friends. They will put on this brave face to cover up how they really feel, as they believe that they will be a burden if they show their real mood. This mask can be exhausting to wear, so by the time they come home they often can’t keep it up, meaning that you are likely to see the true picture Many young people describe depression as being tortured in their head. Anything that they hear gets turned into something negative, and even if they are told by a specialist that their depression is treatable, they believe that they’re the only one that can’t get better Signs of depression in children If you are becoming increasingly worried about your teenager, we have outlined common symptoms that they may be experiencing and warning signs for you to look out for: Psychological symptoms: Persistent sadness, or low mood Anger and irritability Crying more than usual Being highly sensitive to bad news or rejection Feeling worthless or guilty Low self-esteem Poor concentration Indecisiveness Feeling empty or numb Self-harming Suicidal thoughts Drugs or alcohol abuse Social symptoms: Social withdrawal Lacking interest in activities they once enjoyed Poor performance and behaviour at school or college Physical symptoms: Insomnia, or sleeping more than usual Frequent headaches and stomach aches Eating more or less than usual Unexplained digestive problems Exhaustion Lethargy Restlessness I think my teenager is depressed – what are the next steps? Talk to your child If you’re worried, sit down with your child and calmly explain that you’re concerned because they don’t seem to be themselves lately. If they’re willing to open up to you, try to find out how they are feeling and what is troubling them, and let them know that you’re always there to talk. If your teenager doesn’t want to talk to you, encourage them to speak to someone else they trust, such as another parent or a teacher. Take them seriously If you haven’t experienced depression yourself, it can be difficult to understand what your teenager is going through. Something that doesn’t seem to be a problem to you could be a major issue for your child, which is why it’s important to take them seriously and avoid being judgemental or critical. Be open and listen If your teenager wants to talk to you about their problems, it’s important to be open with them and listen to what they have to say. This lets them know it’s OK to talk about how they’re feeling, and they’re not alone. Learn the symptoms By familiarising yourself with the symptoms of teenage depression, not only will this help you to empathise with your child, but will also mean that you are able to spot when they’re going through a particularly difficult time. It can also help you to manage expectations, and understand that it’s possible that things may get worse for your teenager before they get better. Reduce risks Give them the phone numbers for charities such as LifeLine, and encourage them to call if they ever need to. You could also give them useful apps to look at such as Headspace or Mindspot. If they have thoughts about harming themselves, ask them to share those thoughts with you in a way that they feel comfortable with, so you can help keep them safe. They could write their thoughts down, send them in a text message or email, or talk to you about them when they’re feeling calm and perhaps distracted with an activity. Things you can do to reduce risks include locking away any medication and asking the young person what websites they are accessing online, and talking through whether these are really helpful to them or not. It’s also important to establish the best way that you, as a parent, can support your teenager. Ask them what you can do to help; they may just want hugs, a distraction such as watching a film with you or not to be left alone at night time. Seek help It’s crucial to seek professional help if you think your child is struggling with depression. This will ensure that they receive the support they need to prevent their depression from becoming worse. Make an appointment to see your GP; they will be able to recommend next steps. Also, reassure your teenager that depression is treatable and advise them that it would be worth taking them to a doctor to find out if they have depression, and if so, to get them the right support. Dr Hayley van Zwanenberg

November 20, 2018

Disney Baby Learning Pad

Always looking for your phone, only to find it in baby’s hands while they press buttons? Let them have their own in the form of the Disney Baby Learning Pad. The perfect distraction for enquiring minds that also teaches with shapes, the ABC, 123, lights, learning and music with 6 buttons. A fully immerse experience for the young mind. The Disney Baby Learning Pad is available from the following retailers: Babies R Us, Hamleys, Me, Mom & Dad (Greenstone), selected Kids Emporium stores, Loot.co.za, takealot.com, purplepepperz.com, thebabyzone.co.za and others.

November 19, 2018

Surviving matric results- a parent’s guide

I have a friend who used to work at the BBC going through the raw footage of all the horrors happening around the world and picking out the bits that were acceptable for the public to see. Her job was intense, but she was ok with it… until she became pregnant. There is something about being a parent that makes us more sensitive to the terrible things happening out there and heightens our empathy for other parents. Every year we hear about students who have committed suicide over their matric results, and we can’t help but put ourselves in the shoes of those parents and imagine the grief and regrets that they must be experiencing. That instinct to protect our offspring that wells up during pregnancy (and never leaves) goes into overdrive wondering how we can stop ourselves from ever being in the position of these unfortunate parents. The truth is, not matter what you do, this can still happen. But there are some things you can focus on to reduce the likelihood and to teach your kids some important life skills at the same time. Number one is to be a role model for failure. Yes, go out and fail at things! Do things that challenge you… push yourself a bit… and then when you fail show your children how to do it well. What does that mean? It means having a cry or expressing your disappointment that things didn’t work out the way you’d wanted and then openly (so that your kids can see the process) looking at the good that came out of the situation – what did you learn? Be proud of yourself for trying. Then take what you’ve learned, see where you need to improve or adapt or readjust your goal… and try again…. And again…. And again. Our kids have no idea how wonderful it is to learn through failure because we never do it ourselves. We live little safe lives where we don’t push ourselves beyond our current capabilities. And this gives them the impression that everything must be done right first time or that everything is easy. Secondly, communicate, communicate, communicate. Know what is going on in your child’s life. Discuss feelings and practical things and life lessons and anything else you can think of. Have family meals that are non-negotiable and do not involve electronics at the table. Set aside time to connect. You need to look for signs of depression (changes in appetite or sleeping habits, loss of interest in activities, social withdrawal, irritability, fatigue, etc), but also know that many suicides are not preempted by depression. So if your child is not showing these typical signs it does not mean that they are safe. In these chats with your kids tell them about your own past. Give them a reference point by sharing times when you have had to adjust course or make a plan B. Teach them how to explore alternatives. And lastly, never ever ever equate who your child is with the marks that they get on a test. Always be the champion of your child – the one who acknowledges their disappointment and helps them to find the learnings without lambasting them for their failures. Help your children to differentiate who they are with what they do. Help them to discover who they are and the connection between following your heart and success (which often is not part of the school curriculum). Lay off the pressure to do well in matric. Matric is one year out of a potential 100 or more years of life that your children have on this earth. It is not the make or break for the rest of their lives. There are ample opportunities to redo matric, to discover another path, to find success. Remember that nurturing instinct that arrives with your baby and reconnect with that now. Your baby might be a 6-foot teen, but your child still needs that love and care and support and protection that you offered them so easily when they were born. It is love, kindness and communication that will help our kids through matric and beyond, not pressure, threats, bribes or stern motivational talks. Make absolutely sure that your children know that whatever their results you will always be there for them and will help them to navigate this difficult time.

November 15, 2018

Review: My Feeling Friends – Sammy the Starfish

While everyone else was having fun, Sammy the Starfish was feeling glum. He didn’t know why he was feeling bad, he felt a little bit tearful, and a little bit sad. My Feeling Friends is a series of stories written by Phillipa Morassi, a Registered Counsellor with a passion for nurturing children through the development of communication, emotional intelligence, positive, and learning. The series of stories aim to assist children in managing big emotions. This story introduces Sammy the Starfish, who is feeling sad and doesn’t know what he can do to feel better. Each story presents a coping skill for your child to learn, which will help them overcome a particular emotion. The coping skills include self-regulation techniques, visualizations, body movements, and positive affirmations to boost your child’s self-esteem. The stories also introduce the concept of empathy, which allows for connection and engagement with others and creates an opportunity for friendships to flourish! Sammy the Starfish is a children’s illustrated emotional-health story that allows children to view themselves and or relate to Sammy. Sammy uses his self-sadness to help children overcome theirs. In a very slick and adorable way, Sammy shows children what to do when their upset using himself to demonstrate in a massively fun way! We tried the lovely, illustrated instruction to give yourself a hug on two eleven-year-olds during schoolwork and they found that this technique helped them relax and became a good stretch. We noticed that even if they weren’t sad, their focus was increased by this exercise and their mood increased happily. Listen to Sammy the Starfish’s advice. Phillipa Morassi gifted us with a whole, awesome package! We received a beautifully illustrated book, a lovely what-to-do card, an adorable beanbag-like starfish that comes in different designs. Bean bags are filled with maize rice and seams are double stitched for safety. Bean bags may be microwaved for 30 – 40 seconds as a soothing comfort for your child. Essential oils may also be added onto the fabric on the back for a sensory experience. Colourful, colouring crayons and pencils were included, along with my feeling friends stickers. We love our gifts and know that you will too! Find out more about Phillipa Morassi and My Feeling Friends at www.pmorassi.co.za

November 15, 2018

How to keep the kids entertained on a long car trip

Long car trips are part of the activity of modern families today. Many are investing their time and money in buying cars with higher mileage per gallon so they can go wherever they want. Families take long car trips once in a while because it gives them the opportunity to explore the world outside of their homes. With on long car trips, parents can get a chance to teach their children the things they only see in their books or gadgets. Also, it gives the families an opportunity to commune with nature. Parents and kids get a chance to breathe fresh air, refresh their eyes, and have some exercise. Long car trips can release the stress that family members feel from long days of work. It is an excellent opportunity to take a break from the routine you have at home or office. Lastly, long car trips enable one to bond with the family, especially for parents who spend the majority of their time at work. Indeed, family car journeys are fantastic. However, it can make your kids go wild, irritated, and bored. For sure, you don’t like it when your kids have tantrums because it will only make the adventures turn into chaos. We will discuss the tips on how to keep the kids entertained in this article, especially on a long car trip. Play Their Favorite Movies One tip to prevent your kids from getting bored is to play their favorite films in the car. Some cars today are pre-installed with a television screen, and you can opt for this one. You can also bring a portable DVD player or laptop with you and always make sure that you have backup power in case your gadgets drain its batteries. Also, bring Bluetooth enabled speakers so everyone can hear audibly the movie they’re watching. Carry Sweet Treats Always Sweet treats is a must-have on every trip! Surely, your kids will feel pampered during the ride while eating their favorite food. Bring with you your kids’ favorite delights such as the following: Chocolate bars Gummy bears Cupcakes Wafers Marshmallows Chocolate/ Milk drinks Chips and other snacks Listen To Audiobook Stories Tired of telling stories to your kids? Don’t worry; you can play audiobooks instead. You can download various audiobooks available on the internet today and save it on your gadget. Then, you can just plug your device into the car’s sound system and make your kids listen to the stories. Audiobooks will make your kids’ imagination run wild. Engage In Digital Games Bring with you your iPads or smartphones and install it with offline games which your children can play. There are various offline games that are available in App Store or Play Store. Capture An Image With A Polaroid To develop your kid’s full potential in photography, you can give them your instant camera or any other available cameras with you. Let them take pictures of anything they see during the trip, and you can soon compile it and post in a scrapbook. Bring Their Favorite Toys If your kids get tired of playing with e-games, let them enjoy their toys. Some of it is loom bands, stuffed toys, doll house, balls, robots, and others. Let Them Draw Invite your kids to practice their handwriting or drawing by giving them a whiteboard or coloring books, colored pens, and eraser. For example, you can ask them to draw your face or their siblings’ faces. Sing A Song Bring a guitar with you and play your kids’ favorite song. Better yet, you can just play a song using the car’s sound system or sing in acapella. Invite your kids to join so they’ll feel at ease during the trip. Play Various Games Lastly, devise multiple games for your kids and be as creative as you can be. Here are some of the games that you can try: The License plate game – Each time your kids spot a car, check its plate number and ask them to give a meaning for it. For example, OEF means ‘Onion Eating Fanatic.’ Map the destination – Print a map of your destination and hand it to your kids. Let them mark the cities you’ve passed by so you let them have something to do in the backseat. Animal spotting – Ask your kids to spot and name animals on the road. Conclusion In sum, it is essential to make your kids safe and calm during the entire trip so you as a parent can have peace of mind too. Meanwhile, it is recommended to supervise your kids in whatever activities you let them do during the trip. After all, we want them to learn and have fun after the stress and hassles of the real world. Oftentimes, the road can become very unsafe especially when you have kids travelling with you. If you and your kids are involved in car accidents and have incurred personal injuries, you can check this website to learn more on what you should and should not do during this kind of situation. About The Author Annie Gray writes topics on law subjects that can help the common reader understand them better. She keeps herself fit and healthy by jogging during her free time.

November 15, 2018

Helicopter Parenting

Parenting is a complex topic that can be discussed, disputed and hypothesized about, and still, there are yet to be any conclusive results on the exact scientific, or psychological understanding about the actual effects of different parenting styles. What we do know, is that hovering as a parenting technique can have unintended consequences. Surely if something is good, then more of it must be better? This is not necessarily wrong, but not right. This is where the concept of the “Helicopter Parent” comes into play, as we all discover at some point or another, that more is in fact not necessarily always better. “Parenting appears to be generationally influenced,” says Laura Traver-de Sousa, Clamber Club expert, registered counsellor and play therapist. “Today’s generation of parents have discovered that being present as a parent is vital to truly nurture a child, however, they too have taken active parenting to new competitive heights,” adds Laura. In education, the pursuit of top grades is increasingly seen as not only the main goal of education, but a task to be undertaken by parents themselves and this is a problem! “Parents are pressed to protect their children from an ever expanding world and society of physical harms, emotional tribulations, and perceived personal slights,” explains Laura. Extreme anxiety about your child can lead to helicopter parenting which takes a negative toll on your child. When parents are incessantly told that their principle concern should be the safety and success of their children, it is hardly surprising that children are highly anxious and afraid to venture out alone and resulting in parents doing nearly everything for them. Helicopter parenting can lead to quite a few consequences: It creates resentment Makes children fearful and distrustful of strangers Children lack social and problem-solving skills Children have more health problems Low self-esteem and confidence Failure to manage with crisis and emergencies Enhanced anxiety and panic state A deep sense of entitlement and rebel tendencies Lack of life skills They lack self-regulation skills If the hovering trends are not corrected and followed into your child’s teenage years, be prepared for a backlash. “At a young age your child may not have minded the helicopter parenting, however, most teenagers yearn for freedom, privacy and independence,” says Laura. “Paranoid parenting” is unappealing and unattainable. The harsh reality, is that intense and irrational fear, brought upon by societal expectations of the “what if” and “what might happen” to your child, should you as the parent not “conform” and “immerse” yourself, that you fall into this trap and are pushed into the notion of Helicopter Parenting. “There are a number of ways that helicopter parents can break the cycle,” advises Laura. Here are her tips: Make a list (from easiest to most challenging) of everything you do for your child which he could essentially do for himself. Review that list and stop doing those tasks, one-by-one. As your child completes these tasks with no help, your confidence in their abilities will grow, as will his. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Provide your child with the coping tools to understand that you will not fix everything for him; if he received a bad grade, he need to take responsibility. Your child will have to learn to be his own person and to fix his own problems. Should you have an extremely dependent child that lacks confidence, remove yourself from the scenario. Initially it will be tough, however, keep on persevering, he will eventually do what he has to by himself and will be more confident. There are positive elements to helicopter parenting. Parents who practice the information seeking aspect of helicopter parenting without intervening in their children’s lives or limiting their children’s autonomy, their children can excel in terms of decision-making and academic performance. It is safe to say that it is not inherently bad for parents to be highly engaged in their children’s lives, as long as being engaged and present does not turn into trying to control and overpower your child’s life. Laura Traver-de Sousa Registered Counsellor and Play Therapist Cell: 073 683 0895 Email: [email protected] Web: http://www.dragonflyza.co.za Address: 6 Bashee Place Gallo Manor Ext. 2, Sandton, 2191

November 9, 2018

Making the most of your Child’s Education

Education is not merely about improving one’s memory and spitting out facts but rather, it is about developing the intellect. The intellect and conceptualisation are sparked when an atmosphere of expansion is created. In essence, when learners are allowed freedom of thought, movement and creativity they are can connect with their true potential… Learning is an individual process, and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. It is a process which involves all your senses, intellect, emotional, cognitive ability to learn, adjust, problem solve and succeed. Your child deserves to experience an education system that aligns with core strengths and reinforces other skills necessary for personal and professional growth. It is also very important to make sure that all the building blocks are in place for learning to occur However, many classrooms teach only through either a visual or an auditory medium and yet sight and hearing are just two of the senses. What about the other 5 senses? Most people know the obvious senses such as sight, hearing, touch, smell, taste. However, did you know that the two hidden senses, which are not visible, are the most essential learning systems in the body? They are called the body systems – vestibular system (based in the inner ear) as well as the proprioceptive system (located in every muscle spindle, joint receptor, and ligament). As your child moves throughout their environment, so does the fluid in their inner ear canals. As the fluid in their inner ear moves, your child’s brain is receiving information as to the position of their head in space. These two systems are vital for the integrative learning through all the senses and help the other systems to process information sufficiently as a whole. Without these two systems, whole body learning will be possible. Let’s have a look at the important functions of the vestibular system (inner ear system): It regulates your sleep patterns It tells you about position, time, space It gives you a sense of balance It helps the body to activate muscle contraction for sufficient postural control It assists co-ordination of the body to perform functions such as dressing, tying shoelaces, cooking, sport and ultimately brain co-ordination in scholastic tasks such as maths, reading and spelling. Together with the muscle receptor system and the touch sense, it is vital for the optimal learning through all the senses and therefore to plan ahead of time or use clues to adjust our actions Together with the eyes, the vestibular system helps us to track moving objects, plan the timing of moving objects such as when you want to catch a ball, cross the street or driving your car It plays an important role together with the hearing system to develop language and speech It keeps us alert and focused to support memory, retention of work and ultimately interpret and process information. The vestibular system regulates our autonomic nervous system to boost immune systems and keep the nervous system balanced Just imagine yourself in space. Gravity is gone, and you are relying on your visual and hearing system to know which way is up, down, forwards, backwards. Just think if you have to manoeuvre your way in a shopping centre without gravity and only using your eyes and ears. Imagine that you are not in tune with your body and feel like you are flying in the air, you are feeling off balance, you are not sure if you are standing or hanging upside down, you might be bumping into people and objects which are either moving or standing still, you try to determine if you are in the front or the back of the store, you uncertain how to move your body to get to the door and your are feeling nauseous. How do you make plans if you are not getting any feedback from your body? The job of the inner ear and the receptors in your muscles and joint help you to orientate yourself in this world, it helps you to move and experience, it helps you to problem-solve and understand because you are experiencing it through your body. It keeps your sensitivities at bay and keeps you regulated and content. These two systems together with the touch system (tactile system) are very important for optimal learning. It is so sad that our children are moving less and are exposed to more and more visual and hearing stimuli to learn. One parent even commented to say “Soon our kids will not be required to write as we have voice activating system doing the writing for us.” The kids are less active not as experimental and not as independent in solving problems relying on their bodies. Our children have become more static in their play as well as in their interaction with the outside world. Technology and screen time is taking away valuable time from our children physical play which is supposed to feed the vestibular system. Our clothing ranges are opting for easier options such as Velcro fasteners instead of shoelaces or buttons which limits motor sequences from developing. Our caretakers are doing most of the dressing, bathing, cooking, and cleaning. There are not enough trees to climb to teach our children valuable moving skills in space. The children are becoming more sensitive to movement because they are less exposed to movement. I am seeing more and more children in my practice with fear of heights, fear of movement backwards in space, fear of falling, fear of climbing, high levels of anxiety, overweight and sluggish, poor concentration, hyperactivity and learning difficulties. And now the question: Why do we have so many children with concentration difficulties? Children need to move to stay alert. They will seek it even though it is not appropriate to the situation OR they will just sit and “veg”. Then they are labelled as hyperactive, ADHD, ADD, disruptive, not concentrating, day dreaming; but in fact some of these children are trying to stay alert as their

November 9, 2018

5 Reasons why owning a Foldscope will make your child smarter!

It fosters independent learning Several studies have documented the benefits of independent learning and its impact on academic and career success. A Foldscope allows a child to immerse herself in science according to her interests. Using a Foldscope illustrates that learning without intervention from teachers or parents can be an exciting adventure. It stimulates curiosity A child that is bored is seldom motivated to learn. Unfortunately, children in schools are often bored by unimaginative curriculums. A Foldscope gives a child access to the fascinating world of microbiology, a topic they are not generally exposed to. It teaches them that there is more to the world than meets the eye and makes it exciting to investigate and learn. It develops problem-solving skills Using a microscope requires certain skills. A Foldscope provides the opportunity to practice several of these skills, including how to prepare and mount specimens for viewing, patience to find and focus on the specimen, and, most importantly, troubleshooting if things don’t go according to plan. Being able to identify and solve problems is critical to success in school and in the workplace. It employs the senses It is well-known that learning is enhanced by involving the senses during the learning process. Reading about microbiology from a book is an inauthentic and one-dimensional experience. By finding samples, preparing slides, and examining specimens using a Foldscope, the child is using their hands, eyes, nose, and ears for a more immersive learning experience. It cultivates a love for science The ability to think critically and analyse the plethora of information available today is essential to success. Making informed decisions about health, diet, medical treatment, scientific research, etc., requires scientific skills and knowledge, and children who are genuinely interested in science are usually scientifically literate. Children are naturally curious about the world and giving them a tool such as a Foldscope could change their perception of science and make them see it as interesting and even fun. Foldscope is an ultra-affordable origami-inspired microscope that is assembled by the user. It is designed to be durable, easy-to-use, and portable, with 140x magnification. They are available as individual kits or classroom kits containing 20 or 100 units. Deluxe Individual Kits contain an extensive set of accessories to collect specimens and prepare slides. These kits are packaged in a beautiful metal case making it easy for little explorers to keep their Foldscope close at hand. SciBuddy is the exclusive distributor of Foldscopes in South Africa. The owner, Arista Burke, has a background in microbiology and education. She believes that Foldscopes will be a gamechanger for South African children. To find out more about SciBuddy and Foldscope, visit www.scibuddy.co.za or their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/SciBuddySA.

November 7, 2018

5 Healthy habits to pass onto your kids

All parents want their children to grow up with healthy habits. However, the only way a child will learn to be healthy is to imitate their parents. What you model to your children will be the example that your children follow. Setting good examples early on is the best, as this is when children are very impressionable in their early years. The following are five healthy habits to pass on to your youngsters for them to live their best life. Exercise! Physical exercise is one of the best things anyone can do for their health! The more a person moves, the better they feel. Exercise can be done in a variety of ways. Consider signing your child up for dance or have them join a baseball or basketball team. If you do yoga or Tai Chi, invite them to do it with you. Take a mommy and me exercise class. Or purchase a kids trampoline and have some fun with them, jumping and laughing. Take them for walks, go to the park, or enjoy swimming together. Have relay races, play tag, or kick a ball around. Any type of exercise is fine as long as they are moving their bodies. Benefits of physical exercise include better sleep, a decrease in emotional and social issues, and fewer attention disorders. If you sign your child up for a team sport, they will gain so much from this experience. Not only will your child learn what it is like to work as a team, but they will also learn the value of competitiveness. Another added advantage is they will realize what it means to count on others, as well as be counted on. Eat together as a family. Setting a time for family meals is something that many parents look forward to, as this is a time when everyone can tell about their day. This is quality time spent together as a family. One reason that it is a healthy habit is that it instills in a child that home cooking is better than eating on the run. With fast food chains popping up all over the place, it has often become the norm with many families frequenting them. Life is hectic, and many parents would rather drive through to grab a sandwich instead of going home to make a homemade meal. But when a family eats together, children will model good eating habits. If you start your child off at an early age of eating together and make it a rule that meals cannot be missed by anyone, you will have a greater chance of succeeding with this. Pick healthy drinks. Soda pop is high on the list for many individuals. It is easy to drink when on the run, helps give us a caffeine rush, and is readily available at most eating places, markets, and convenient stores. However, it is loaded with sugar. Water, on the other hand, is the healthiest drink on the planet. It is calorie free and has no sugar. Plus it helps flush out toxins in the body and rehydrates it. Drinking water can make one feel fuller for an extended period of time and is crucial for organ functions. We lose water in everything we do, from breathing to exercising. And when the body is made up of 75% water, it is very important to replenish this on a regular basis. Instill in your child’s mind that water is the best choice for them. Many children like juice, which is fine. However, this should not be their primary drink. Look for juices that are 100% juice that is not loaded with sugars. And if possible, consider diluting the juice with water for fewer calories. Remain positive. Look at the bright side of life instead of the negative. Parents that model this behavior will see children are better able to manage life’s problems. The more positive a person is, the better they will be able to handle anything that life throws at them. Teaching your child to see the glass as half full instead of half empty will make them happier in the long run. Pass on the unhealthy habits. When your children see you smoking or drinking alcohol, they may get the impression that it is not harmful to do. Many children want to be just like their parents. Thus, it should be no surprise that children who have a parent that smokes are twice as likely to light up than a child whose parent does not smoke. Giving up snacking and unhealthy foods also fall into this category. You can not really expect your child to eat broccoli and Brussel sprouts for dinner if you are eating French Fries. Offer healthy snacks, such as Hummus with carrot and celery sticks, or apple slices and string cheese. Eat these with them instead of chips and ice cream, and your child will see that healthy eating is something to look forward to. Passing on healthy habits to your kids is very important. The healthy habits they learn from you will be beneficial to them all their lives. These five healthy habits will ensure fewer illnesses, more energy, and a happier, wholesome life! If you are not passing any of these onto your children, it is not too late to start. Just by adding one or two of these habits will improve the quality of your child’s life.

November 6, 2018

Give Your Special Needs Child the Best Future Possible

When you’re told that your child will be born with a mental or physical disability, the news can be crushing and leave you with many doubts. Will you be able to provide for them? Will their childhood be as full of joy as the other kids? Will you have the stamina to carry on when the going gets tough? The answers are yes, yes, and yes. Though you’re facing the greatest challenge of your life, you can see it through with plenty of love and the right preparation. Here are some things to do before your baby arrives in this world. Research Their Disability How you get ready mentally, physically, and financially depends on the nature of your child’s disability and what obstacles they will face growing up. A good place to start your inquiries is Parent to Parent USA. Not only will you find a treasure trove of information on conditions ranging from blindness to mobility impairment to Down syndrome, this organization will put you in contact with other parents who have already faced the same challenges. Look Into Financial Aid Read up on the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, or IDEA, which is a federal law that guarantees your child access to early intervention, special education, and related services from birth until adulthood. These include therapy sessions either at home or in the community to aid in the development of motor, cognitive, and communication skills needed to thrive during their infant and toddler years. Grants are available through agencies in each state. Find Support From Nonprofits There are also a number of charity organizations that are ready to step in and offer assistance when federal aid is insufficient. Many of these are devoted to children suffering from specific conditions such as autism, while others, like the Legacy of Hope, offer access to exciting activities outside of education such as art classes, music lessons, and even horseback riding, helping to ensure a well rounded and enjoyable childhood. Begin Navigating Health Insurance Thanks to recent health care reforms, insurers cannot deny coverage to children under the age of 19 based on pre-existing conditions including disabilities, according to the experts at Allied Wealth Partners, adding that you have 30 days after the birth of your child to add them to your health plan. Speak with your insurer to find out which physicians and providers are in-network to reduce out-of-pocket expenses. Depending on your income, you may also qualify for Medicaid or Supplemental Security Income. Set Up an Emergency Fund There will be items that you have to pay for yourself. Luckily, more and more states are offering residents as well as non-residents the opportunity to open a tax-advantaged ABLE account for any disabled person under the age of 26, with contributions limited to $14,000 per beneficiary per year, according to finance magazine Kiplinger. This money can be withdrawn tax-free and used to cover medical treatment and other expenses. Prepare Your Home You’ll need to make some modifications to ensure that your child is safe and can move around comfortably. If they’ll be confined to a wheelchair, then begin your research into options for improved accessibility, such as wheelchair ramps, which cost $1,604 on average. Other renovations include grab rails in the bathroom as well as a roll-in shower to make washing up easier at the end of the day. Contact local professionals to get an estimate in your area. Take Care of Yourself Giving your child the support and attention they deserve is impossible if you are tired and strung out. Begin a regimen of self-care now to ensure you’re in the best possible condition when the parenting begins. That, above all, means a balanced diet, plenty of exercise, and a good night’s rest, as well as techniques for relieving stress such as meditation or yoga. There’s a lot of work to be done, but rest assured that there are ways to overcome the obstacles that you and your child face. It just takes love and courage, and you’ve got both in spades.

October 31, 2018

Responsibilities within the home, in a nutshell….

The opposite of depression, misery, addictions and negative behavioural choices is purpose, connection, acknowledgement and a healthy sense of independence. Imagine if we could teach these valuable life skills to our children, from a very young age and within our home environments! Cindy Glass, Director and Co-founder of Step Up Education Centres says that the good news is that you can, and indeed, you should, and it can be done through the teaching of responsibility within your home! Cindy highlights the following benefits of teaching a healthy sense of responsibility in children. It helps children believe that they are capable and worthy. It engenders feelings of achievement and upliftment. It increases independence, which is a wonderful and necessary life-gift. It helps increase confidence and leadership skills. It teaches children the skills that they will need to live more successful adult lives. It encourages self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. This will also include self-care. Cindy goes on to say “It is important to note that responsibilities within the home need to be age appropriate. Younger children can be tasked with helping to make their own beds, putting dirty clothes in the wash-basket, packing away toys, brushing their own teeth and hair and other simple-to-do tasks. Older children and teenagers can and should make their own beds and keep their personal space in order. In addition, they can be tasked with helping with cooking, washing dishes, making their own school lunches and doing their own homework.” There is a fine line between insisting, nagging and fighting with our children to become more responsible and helping them to embrace the process of learning from the experiences of becoming more responsible within their homes. Cindy gives the following do’s and don’ts to consider” consider: Don’t expect or insist upon perfection. Mistakes are inevitable and they are excellent opportunities for learning and problem-solving. Do praise, acknowledge, express appreciation and encourage. Don’t allow excuses. Teach your children to own their choices and actions. Do set boundaries with consequences that you stick to. Do set the example of what it is you wish your children to become. They are most likely going to do what you do and not always what you say! Cindy concludes by saying “It is so important to remember that, as parents, you are your child’s first and longest-lasting teacher. Make it count by embracing the need for independence and responsibility. Start within your home. It will not always be easy, but with perseverance, lots of positive encouragement and appreciation, the results will be well worth it!”

October 31, 2018

Medical aid unpacked

When it comes to medical aid, affordability is usually the biggest consideration. However, monthly premiums should be weighed and balanced against the actual benefits and healthcare coverage being offered in order to make an informed decision. The biggest question around medical aid costs is why healthcare inflation is rising at such an alarming rate and how schemes deal with this. ‘Currently, medical inflation is outpacing general economic inflation by between 3 and 4%,’ says Gerhard van Emmenis, Principal Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund. ‘And while the jury’s still out in the form of the Health Market Inquiry into the private healthcare sector, fingers are being pointed at all role players from private hospitals and specialists to medical schemes. However, you need to remember that the former are all about the bottom line, while medical schemes are not-for-profit.’ Consumers, unable to make Rands or sense of the many plans available and what they’re actually offering, are often tempted to migrate to what is perceived as a more affordable plan, but with less coverage. ‘Comparing the average percentage increase in isolation is not an indicator of the value of the healthcare being provided,’ says Van Emmenis ‘We urge consumers to compare monthly contributions with the benefits to ensure they are getting the cover they need.’ He maintains that simply comparing the average percentage increase announced by the various schemes is not a litmus test for value for money, since it does not take into account the basis on which the increase applies. Here is a simple maths example: Two schemes offer the same benefits however, Scheme A costs R1 000 pm while Scheme B costs R1 100pm. If Scheme A announces a 10% increase (R1 100pm) and Scheme B announces a 7% increase (R1 177) but neither change or increase the benefits, then Scheme A is still providing the same benefits, at a lower cost, even though it announced a higher contribution increase. ‘That’s why it’s important to compare the actual benefits and contributions rather than only looking at the percentage increase,’ says Van Emmenis. This is where a Broker can be invaluable. While consumers are becoming more savvy and educated on the inner workings of the medical scheme industry there is confusion. Brokers assist consumers by making informed recommendations that take into account their specific needs. They also play a vital role in education around the offerings, how to maximise your benefits, how to benefit from Managed Care, both financially and in terms of quality of life, various healthcare terminology and assisting members with claims. Van Emmenis explains that schemes with a growing membership base will require additional loadings in the monthly contributions to increase the reserves in order to meet the statutory solvency requirement of 25%. ‘This is a legislative requirement and does not imply the scheme is performing poorly – in fact the opposite is true in this context,’ he says. According to data released by the Council for Medical Schemes (CMS), the market has not been successful in attracting young, healthy people who are less prone to chronic health conditions like diabetes or hypertension: Lifestyle diseases that adversely effect of the pool of contributions. The increasing age of beneficiaries is also a huge concern. The CMS reported that the industry average beneficiary age increased from 31.9 years in 2013 to 32.5 years in 2016. The pensioner ratio increased slightly to 7.9%, with a general rise in the ratio for both males and females. Schemes with an ageing membership base generally experience increased claims costs, in excess of inflation, due to the higher use of benefits. ‘We have seen around a 2% increase in claims by members annually as they age,’ says Van Emmenis. ‘In addition, all chronic conditions, except Type 1 Diabetes, have shown an upswing, ‘says Van Emmenis. ‘These conditions are PMBs that need to be paid in full by all schemes. So, although the regulation is well intended, it is without doubt one of the factors driving up the cost of healthcare. At the same time, there have been particularly steep increases in the cost of specialists and hospitals, which together account for more than 61% of total claims paid.’ Runaway healthcare costs are difficult to contain because of a myriad of contributing factors. Most rooted deeply in a complex health system where much of what happens is beyond the influence of the schemes. Take for example the over-regulation in the form of exclusion from collective bargaining by the Competition Commission. This leaves schemes with no option but to negotiate individually with service providers, blocking the development of a more efficient and cost-effective healthcare sector. Open enrolment also impacts costs as schemes have to accept anyone who wishes to join, regardless of their health status, which does maximum damage to risk equalisation. So what is the best approach for medical schemes going forward? Van Emmenis says that schemes need to continue to explore and implement cost containment strategies and offer value for money to members. ‘Access to quality healthcare remains a concern and priority for the majority of South Africans. Our mandate has always been to provide quality healthcare at affordable prices and this will continue.’

October 30, 2018

30 Pradiance Sun Stick SPF 30

Price: R235.00 (30ml Sunstick) Natural sunscreen for the whole family. Suitable for: The whole family. All skin types. Intolerant skins to chemical filters. Acne-prone skin. Indoor and outdoor use. How to use: Push from the base of the applicator so that 3mm of the stick appears and apply sunscreen to all exposed areas. Pay particular attention to nose, lips and ears. Reapply every hour for optimal protection. Key features: Certified, with broad spectrum UVA & UVB protection, this mineral sunscreen reflects and refracts sunlight which prevents the absorption of UV-A and -B as much as possible. It allows us to refrain from using potentially harmful chemical sun filters. Water-resistant, moisturising, non-greasy, and non-pore clogging. Leaves a sheer, non-shiny finish on your skin. A mineral sunscreen containing zinc oxide (non nano) and high-quality plant extracts known for their antioxidant qualities. Protects against climatic stresses such as wind, cold, and salt water. Watch our YouTube video about our SPF 30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECJMGn-1oRo&feature=youtu.be Containing the powerful African botanicals known for their healing and antiageing properties. Kigelia (African Sausage Tree) extract, our main ingredient, has been used for decades for the treatment of scars, sunspots and hyper-pigmentation. We value the connection between nature and the good health of your skin. Pradiance is : Vegan friendly Natural & Organic, Produced in an organic certified lab Not tested on Animals Proudly South African Pradiance was born of the dream that every person in the world should be in a position to use a natural and organic cosmetic, irrespective of income level. With 30 years of experience in the skincare industry we created the most affordable but results-driven natural and organic product we possibly could, bearing in mind that a common skin concern is dark marks, sunspots and scarring. The Pradiance Skincare range is formulated for the demands of all skin types, with the inspiration drawn from the proven healing effects of carefully chosen African plant extracts that only have positive effects on the skin. The desired effect is to balance uneven pigmentation, heal scars and even out skin tone while enhancing the health and beauty of the skin. Kigelia promotes skin elasticity and can plump up the deepest of wrinkles. All Pradiance products are free of harmful synthetic chemical ingredients, including parabens and mineral oils. All our ingredients are from sustainable sources. At Pradiance, we aim to create an awareness of the necessity to use biodegradable ingredients that are 100% earth- and people-friendly. Carefully Chosen Natural Plant Extracts Kigelia is found in sub-Saharan Africa, where it is known as the “Sausage Tree”, owing to the size and shape of the fruit. Kigelia works in many ways, including: Provision of an anti-bacterial and anti-fungal effect against micro-organisms. Provision of antioxidants which will affect the vitality and vibrancy of the skin. Promotion of elasticity, creating a firmer, smoother complexion. Our Logo: The Southern Hemisphere New Moon and a leaf are our logo. Farmers who grow healing plants look at the moon cycle for best results when planting and harvesting their crops. The leaf is naturally the symbol for plants – plants allow the human species to thrive, especially if we choose organic. The gold colour symbolises the sun with the warmth and vitality it offers – as long as we expose ourselves to it wisely.

October 29, 2018

“FORTNITE”- Friend or Foe?

By Sonia Jansen, Deputy Principal of Academics at Crawford Preparatory North Coast Recently, I’ve had the privilege of running a Nintendo Club for a group of over 40 children from Grade 5 to Grade 7. The Nintendo Schools League offers children the opportunity to game competitively in a safe environment under supervision. Only one game is played in the club – Splatoon 2 – a game with an age rating of 10+. Competitive banter and excited cheers were the hallmark of our afternoon gaming sessions. In this time, I became pretty au fait with the terminology and social interaction between young gamers and learned that many of young players spend time playing a particular game called Fortnite. Fortnite, an online, multiplayer shooter game played by an estimated 50 million people daily, is free and easily accessible to anyone with internet access and a range of devices. Basically, players find themselves on an island and have to fight for resources, weapons and ultimately, survival. While online, players chat to each other. Each game can last in the region of 20 minutes. Common Sense Media (https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/fortnite), a website providing independent reviews, rates Fortnite at 13+. Realising that some of the players are as young as 8, I was prompted to investigate further. So for the information of parents out there who aren’t too sure what the game is about, here are some of my observations: Cautions: There is some violence (however, not as much, or as brutal and realistic, as many other games out there). Play is online and team members can essentially be anyone. Communication is open between the team members, which may expose young children to unsupervised contact with gamers they do not know. Children are found to be playing until early hours of the morning, which has an impact on learning, academic performance and social interaction when they’re tired and cranky the next day. Positives: A team game, Fortnite requires a measure of collaboration and communication. The need for strategy may encourage executive functioning skills such as critical thinking and organisation. In fact, the game as a whole, requires quite a lot of skill. So – the choice is yours …Ultimately, the decision to let your child play Fortnite, or not, is a personal one. My recommendation is that if you are going to allow your child to play any computer games, consider the following: pay attention to the recommended age rating ensure that their play time is monitored and that devices are left in a “time-out” box in the living room, rather than their bedroom. play with your child – teach them how to game safely under your guidance and supervision. monitor their response to the game and the level of violence of that particular game, and let your decision be guided by your own knowledge of your child. limit their game time – many hours of unchecked playing can lead to physical and social issues. consider the opinions and advice of other parents by reading as much as you can about the games your children choose to play. For more information, and to read parent reviews on Fortnite, you can go to: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/fortnite

October 29, 2018

Children are not Adults

By Alison Willems, teacher at Trinityhouse Pre-Primary Randpark Ridge Children are not little adults. They learn things primarily through their experiences and modeling their parents and others around them, rather than verbal explanations. Being kind to your child is more effective in teaching kindness than an explanation of why it is good to be kind. Allowing a child to learn a concept by exploring it and experimenting with it through play and trial and error is far more effective than telling them how something does or should work. There is a very valid reason behind why this is so. It all has to do with how God has created our bodies to grow and develop. When referring to a child’s holistic development, our children develop in a specific order for a very specific reason. First comes physical development, so that they can learn to manage their bodies according to their space and environment around them. They learn about their own strengths and what their bodies can do. This physical learning is important because neurological pathways are being developed. If this does not happen, connections for later learning are hindered. Next to develop is communication, this is to ensure that their survival and basic needs are met. They do this through basic language, eg: crying and one syllable words such as “mama” and “dada”. This should progress to more coherent sentence structure later on. The development of language is the start of their cognitive development. They are therefore not yet able to cognitively understand the adult world which utilizes such things as sarcasm, figurative language, innuendoes, etc. Their understanding of the world is literal and concrete. By the age of two they are taking more cognisance of things like tone and body language. Next come the social and emotional aspect of the child, this is the most complex part of development and therefore never stops developing, even into adulthood as it encompasses all relationships and our ability to manage ourselves within those relationships. That is why children who have missed developmental building blocks struggle in this area. Children rely on their senses to give them feedback thereby evaluating their world around them. Hence, babies put things in their mouths and children want to, need to and have to touch things around them. Our little people therefore need at least two of their senses involved in anything you want to teach them for it to be stored in their memories for recall later. For example, if a child has an item of their mom’s clothing, the smell of her will calm them when upset. This is why kinesthetic learning (using the body and its senses) is so important as they are moving, touching, hearing, seeing and sometimes tasting while learning. As a child effectively learns, the neurons in their brain are making connections. Neuron’s that are correctly ‘wired’ together effectively ‘fire’ together later in their lives. I would like to close with a well know quote from Benjamin Franklin: ‘Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.’

October 25, 2018

How to raise a multilingual child

The benefits of raising a multilingual child are plenteous. From improved cognitive performance to increased marketability in the future workforce, the multilingual child has the advantage over his/her peers and in life. We need to explore this matter quite seriously as educators and parents. Parents can begin the process of teaching their child languages from infancy! Research done by Dr. April Benasich, Little Pim Advisor and Director of the Infancy Studies Laboratory at the Center for Molecular & Behavioural Neuroscience, Rutgers University has revealed babies learn languages in a different manner than a person who already knows a language. Those individuals learn a new language primarily through memorisation, studying what letters make what sounds, and so on. On the contrary, a baby’s brain unconsciously follows sound patterns, changes in pitch, stress, or tone, and identifies slight changes. According to various studies, teaching your child new languages between the ages of birth and five years old is the best time to accomplish this goal. Make learning languages fun and creative, implementing multilingual videos, flashcards, storybooks, songs, and games (the latter as is appropriate for the age). Use the immersion technique. Since young children are able to differentiate between phonemes, which are the “sound elements or building blocks of language,” it makes sense that immersing them into an environment where they are continually hearing the language, teaches them effectively. Create a routine that you and the whole family can consistently stick with. Language learning videos, storybooks, and singing can be weaved into a routine for your child, making the whole concept of learning languages familiar and fun. Help your older (speaking) child to find opportunities to use his or her newly developed skills in the acquired language. This will build confidence, as well as give practice. Learning a second or third language is so much easier for a child, and in today’s world it is fast becoming a necessity to know more than one language. Many parents are taking the step to introduce their child to the wonderful world of language(s). By Hilton Scott, Principal of Trinityhouse Preparatory Randpark Ridge

October 25, 2018

What to do if your parents don’t agree with your study choices

Many Matrics considering their study options for next year are finding themselves in the difficult position of being at odds with their parents or guardians about their preferred direction. While this conundrum has always been around, it is even more pronounced today, given that there are a myriad qualifications and careers that didn’t exist even a few years ago. “Parents often have expectations of the potential careers they see their children pursuing, and it can be hard for them and their children to get on the same page when the parents are in favour of the more traditional qualifications, while the child would prefer to pursue a qualification the parents don’t know much about,” says Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education institution. She says it is important for families to have a respectful dialogue based on facts and research when they find themselves in this position. “If you are the young adult who would like to pursue a career in, for instance, digital marketing or game design and development, but your parents would rather you do a BCom at a public university, there are ways to get them to see your side of things,” she says. “And if you are the concerned parent, worried that your child’s preferred qualification is lightyears away from what you think they should be doing, there are also a few ways you can set your mind at ease,” says Payne. She says it can be helpful for parents and future students finding themselves at loggerheads to approach the situation as follows: DO THE RESEARCH AND UNDERSTAND THE OPTIONS There are many more study options today than in the past. The range of qualifications on offer has grown exponentially, while the institutions offering them have also multiplied. All registered and accredited higher education institutions – whether they be public universities or private – are registered by the Department of Higher Education and Training (DHET). They are only registered if they have been accredited by the Council on Higher Education (CHE) and registered by the South African Qualifications Authority (SAQA) on the National Qualifications Framework (NQF). Looking up a qualification on the NQF is as easy as going to the SAQA website and typing in a few words. An institution should also be able to give you the SAQA identity number immediately. This means that prospective students and their parents can be confident about the bona fides of any qualification they want to pursue, provided that the institution is recognised by DHET and the programme is listed on the NQF which can be found on the SAQA website. FACE REALITY The world of work looks a lot different today than it did a decade ago, with numerous new and emerging careers on offer, such as brand management, big data analysis, app development, and digital design, to name a few. The traditional, generic 3-year degree is no longer a golden ticket to landing a job. Prospective students would do well to pursue a career-focused qualification which fits well with their talents and interests, and which will prepare them to step into the workplace with confidence. Career-focused qualifications will often also include work-integrated learning, which allows students to build a portfolio of work throughout their time at varsity. This puts them in a much stronger position after graduation when applying for a position. UNDERSTAND THE MARKETPLACE What can you do with your qualification after graduation? That is an important question to ask before committing to a programme. A great way to determine the demand for a qualification and your future earning potential, is to look at career sites and job ads, to see how much demand there is in marketplace. Speaking to an advisor at a higher education institution’s career centre can also go a long way to clarifying your prospects post-graduation. UNDERSTAND THE MOTIVATION FOR STUDYING Pursuing a degree requires a substantial investment of time and money. And handling the demands of higher education and young adulthood is not a walk in the park. The dropout rate among first years is very high, in part because the reason for heading to university wasn’t sound. So if the motivation for further study is for the sake of status rather than to lay the foundations for a specific and successful career, or if a student is only studying to fulfil the wishes of their parents, it would be better to wait, investigate all the options, and only apply when they have found something that gets them really excited about your future. “Parents need to understand that the best approach now is to study and prepare for a world that’s changing, and that the traditional way and ‘safe’ careers may not be the best course of action,” says Payne. “And prospective students need to understand that while the difference in opinion may be frustrating, it is up to them to present their case calmly, clearly and respectfully, with the research to back up the viability and prospects of their choice.”

October 25, 2018

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