Parenting - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Don’t Be Scared, Be Prepared

Oneaid focuses on preventing and reducing the risk of childhood injuries. Through blog posts and social media Oneaid offers you, as parents and caregivers, useful information and helpful tips on how to keep your little ones healthy and safe. OneAid by Dr Carmen Becoming a parent is one of the most challenging and liberating experiences anyone can go through. There is no amount of research, childcare books or magazines that will prepare you for parenthood. For most parents keeping their little ones safe and making sure they have few accidents as possible can be extremely stressful. It was, for this reason, Dr Carmen – mother and Doctor – created OneAid. Dr Carmen is a medical doctor with over 10 years experience in accident and emergency medicine, and is also a mom to a beautiful, baby girl. She has a Masters degree in Public Health and is passionate about disease prevention and health education. Social Media In Healthcare Almost 90% of adults have used social media to look for and share health information. Dr Carmen believes that healthcare needs to go digital and more healthcare professionals should be taking advantage of its broad reach. Social media can be an effective tool to get information to the public and promote health and safety. OneAid creates engaging fun content on social media to provide information and tips relating to various public health issues in an effort to spark up conversations to drive behaviour change and education. For a little daily advice on childhood safety issues readers can also subscribe to the OneAid newsletter. The MiniKit by Dr Carmen Cuts, scrapes and burns are common injuries to expect as our little ones gain more confidence in this world. Having a first aid kit on hand can help reduce the risk of infection or the severity of the injury. It also teaches our kids the right thing to do when they hurt themselves. Dr Carmen has designed and developed the MiniKit, a mini first aid kit geared towards common childhood injuries. This is available in two colours – red and yellow and includes first aid essentials such as plasters, burn gels, dressings and more. Plus, the MiniKit’s small size makes it fit perfectly into any nappy or handbag, so parents are always prepared, even on the go. Through its fun and colourful design, Dr Carmen hopes to get little ones engaged and involved in the first aid experience. But that’s not all. Inside each MiniKit you will find a detailed first aid pocket guide that features simple, easy to follow steps on what to do when your child has had a minor accident or fall. By following the guide’s steps, parents can take the necessary action when dealing with broken bones or burns for example, and will now know which medical materials to use. Ordering Your MiniKit Whether you are buying the MiniKit for yourself or as a baby shower gift, it’s really easy to order. All you need to do is visit the OneAid website on www.oneaid.co.za and browse through the products page. Add your products to your cart and checkout when you are done. There is no need to open up any accounts. You can also purchase the pocket guide, which can be downloaded straight onto your phone. If you buy the MiniKit this download will be available to you for free. “Accidents are just that, they happen unintentionally and unexpectedly. With the right information, we can try and reduce the incidence of these accidents.” – Dr Carmen

March 22, 2019

The gift of making mistakes

Mfundo is a young man who is considered to be a top academic and sporting high-flyer. He is in Grade 5 and has already won many awards for his achievements. Despite his top-of-the-class status, his parents and teachers are very concerned because Mfundo is making negative behavioural choices. He is often in trouble for bullying other children and his parents find his tantrums at home almost intolerable. Why would a child who seemingly has everything going for him, behave in this way? The answer is quite simple. According to Cindy Glass, Owner and Co-Founder of Step Up Education Centres, Mfundo, like so many children, has a very low sense of self. “If he is not at the top, he sees himself as being ‘nothing’, unworthy and even worthless! He is so afraid of making mistakes, that he finds life intolerable-unless he pumps-out perfection!” Cindy explains. She adds that the same can be said of children who struggle at school, who give up, dislikes learning of an academic nature or is afraid of trying anything new. “They are so afraid of making a mistake that they would, subconsciously, rather get into trouble for their negative behavioural choices than allow someone to see that they need assistance. These children, too, develop feelings of unworthiness and their self- esteem is at an all-time low.” Cindy believes that it is time for parents and teachers to reconsider age-old patterns of previously learned behaviours which have made the making of mistakes bad, intolerable, reasons for (unnecessary) punishment and a tool to humiliate and embarrass children in the hope that they will change for the ‘better’. She gives parents the following advice on how to give their children the gift of mistakes: It’s important to understand that making mistakes allows for effective learning, problem-solving and critical thinking. Allowing mistakes encourages imagination, creative thinking and the building of confidence! Mistakes are opportunities to experiment and learn. They help us grow and try new ideas. Making mistakes, contrary to popular belief, is actually a gift to humanity! Children fear to make a mistake, not because of the mistake itself, but rather out of a fear of the reaction it would elicit from the adult(s) in their world! As adults, we need to consider teaching our children to recognise and acknowledge their mistakes and to have the confidence to find solutions that work. After all, Thomas Edison is famously quoted (in his many attempts at inventing the light bulb) that he did not fail in his efforts. He simply found 10 000 ways of how not to make a light bulb. He changed the world! Parents and teachers need to teach children that making mistakes is a part of life. There is no such thing as perfection. There will be times when we do not achieve top results. And that is perfect in itself. Making mistakes does not have any bearing on who we are as people. Making mistakes is inevitable. Learning to own and embrace these mistakes as wonderful opportunities to learn and grow is a gift! Parents and teachers need to understand that children are more likely to do what we do that what we say. How we react to mistakes will set the tone for the relationship that children develop with mistakes. “Mistakes can be a burden or a gift. The choice is yours to make” Cindy concludes.

March 22, 2019

Do you worry about your child and cyberbullying?

As digital continues to grow and influence the day to day lives of children, and with the new school year already underway, do you find yourself worrying about the risks your children may face online, especially when it comes to cyberbullying? And do you feel that you know enough about cyberbullying – the signs, the various forms and what measures you can put in place – to not only protect your children but to be able to help them if they face this very real issue? “Despite the many benefits the digital world offers, an unfortunate challenge many parents face today is that they don’t always realise when children are being impacted by cyberbullying,” says Riaan Badenhorst, General Manager for Kaspersky Lab Africa. “This is in no way a reflection on parenting styles, but rather the result of not understanding the different types of cyberbullying that exist and with that, the proactive steps that can be put into place to help protect children from this very dangerous and growing online threat. There are many forms of cyberbullying, and getting a grip on these can assist parents in not only having a better understanding for themselves but to also educate their children on what to look out for.” Forms of cyberbullying: Exclusion – is the deliberate act of leaving someone out – like when a child is excluded from friends’ parties or activities. It can also occur when a child’s friends are having online conversations and tagging other friends but not them. Outing – involves the deliberate act of embarrassing or publicly humiliating a child or group of children, online, through the posting of private, personal, sensitive or embarrassing information, without the child’s permission to do so. Outing can happen in a variety of ways and parents should consider that even reading out aloud a child’s saved message(s) from their mobile phone can be considered a form of outing. Fraping – involves the act of someone logging into someone else’s social networking accounts and impersonating that person by posting inappropriate content, using their name. Parents are likely to be familiar with this type of bullying, as they may have personally experienced it, often in a joking manner. Unfortunately for children, however, it is more than often not a joke. Fraping can lead to repetitional damage and have serious consequences. ‘Google never forgets’ – and so anything posted online is never fully gone, even after it is deleted. Trolling – is a deliberate act of provoking a response through the use of insults or bad language on online forums and social networking sites. A troll aims to personally attack a child, in the hopes that the child becomes angry enough to act in the same way, to get a reaction – and then possibly looks to use it against the child, to get them into trouble at school or with an adult. Catfishing – is when another person steals a child’s online identity and photos, and creates new or alternative social networking profiles, for misleading purposes. A catfish is someone who wants to hide who they really are and does this through creating a fake persona, using images and information they found (and stole) online. Harassment – is sustained, constant and intentional bullying that involves abusive or threatening messages sent to a child or group of children. The messages are mostly malicious and aimed at attacking a child’s confidence and self-esteem. Continues Badenhorst; “All forms of cyberbullying should be perceived by parents/guardians of children as very dangerous and therefore requires immediate attention, as any type of cyberbullying can have massive implications to a child’s well-being.” How parents/guardians can help: Kaspersky Lab offers a few guidelines that can be followed by parents/guardians, as a means to help children deal with cyberbullying: It is important that parents/guardians are tolerant of the situation and do not ‘overreact’ leaving the child feeling scared and embarrassed. Cyberbullying can take some time to fix and so being open and talking through the issue with your child, showing support, can be beneficial in dealing with the problem. Be open and talk about cyberbullying with your children – using things like TV programmes as teachable moments around bullying and online behaviour. Ask them their views on cyberbullying and talk through these. Parents/guardians should be conversation starters on the topic – don’t wait for your child to raise the matter – look for signs of cyberbullying as the earlier the matter is picked up the faster it can be dealt with. Monitor your children’s online activities. Understand what they do on social networks, which platforms they use and who their friends are online. It’s not about ‘policing’ their behaviour, but monitoring is important. Explain to your children that they should alert you as the parent, or alert a trusted adult, if they are being cyber-bullied – that they will not be judged but can seek the right help to fix the issue. Ensure they understand that cyberbullying is not okay – and that it is better to talk up and report it so that the right help can be initiated. Do not take your child’s mobile device away or disconnect their devices from the Internet – this will only frustrate them – rather talk to them and help them with the challenge and monitor their mobile time and use, depending on their age. Educate children about basic online security rules – what can and should not be shared – and privacy guidelines. Ensure their social media pages are set on private, encourage them to only connect with people they know (friends and family) and talk to them about the types of images they share online. Make use of applications, such as Kaspersky Safe Kids, to help you manage your children’s screen time and use of certain apps. Such a solution allows you to set rules for website access, ensuring that sites with harmful content can be blocked. It also uses a GPS tracker, meaning that you can locate your children’s

March 21, 2019

How to talk with your teenager

Parenting is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. The journey to teenagerhood is dotted with a multitude of trials. Remember the tantrums of your precious two-year-olds? Probably not. The mind has a clever way of making us forget the hardships of the really trying times in our lives. It must be some evolutionary development to ensure the continuation of our species. But now you find yourself in the midst of a hurricane of hormonal angst and monosyllabic responses from a teen who vacillates between the sheer inability to care about anything and the deeply emotional and eternally scarring trauma of no-one caring about them. The truth is, teenagerhood is really difficult. On everyone. Especially parents. We struggle to reconcile memories of our delightful little toddlers with these temperamental and uncommunicative tyrants and, for many, the light at the end of the tunnel seems to have been blown out by their teen’s endless sighing. The truth is, this period is transient. And, though difficult to believe, it is a sign of a maturing individual, preparing themselves to be the successful adults that we hope they will become. In fact, this stage of infinite frustration is one that should be celebrated, as much as we celebrated their first steps or first badly-formed words. If only they would put to use those verbal skills we revelled in their first few years. Communicating with teenagers is tricky. Friendship groups and their significant others (for now) take your place in their hierarchy of importance. Where you were once the person who bought the single most joy to their lives (remember fetching them from pre-school?), you’re now not much more than irritation or a glorified cook and taxi-driver. Developmentally, they find baring their emotions and thoughts in spoken word incredibly difficult. Technological development has been kind to this generation. They’re now able to communicate, especially with those that matter, in a complex arrangement of emojis and acronyms. But just because they appear to be retreating from their parents and avoiding (at all costs) any kind of meaningful interaction, it does not mean that communication is not what they need. Quite the opposite. Our challenge, as parents of teenagers, is to find ways in which to communicate without breeding hostility and judgement. Teens need their parents’ support and guidance as much as they did when they were toddlers. It’s just that the communication needs to take a different form. The first consideration parents need to make is when they attempt to reach out to their teens. A bombardment of questions as soon as anyone walks into the house after a long day is bound to inspire mild irritation. A good place to talk is around the dinner table, or in the car while driving them to and from their many arrangements. (This is particularly helpful for the teen as eye contact is limited). As far as communication goes, it really is a case of ‘the more, the merrier’. Before we can tackle the really trying topics like appropriate sexual behaviour and the use of illegal substances, we need to have created a habit of communication. The more you talk to your teen about the mundane, the easier it will be to communicate in general, and then the really difficult conversations become a lot easier too. Consider creating time to spend together on equal ground. A Saturday afternoon on the beach, for example, or a trip to the local beauty salon for a pedicure offers the opportunity for parents to really connect with their teens – even if it is only about their most recent favourite celeb’s spectacular fall from grace. Teenagers, like adults, need to feel valued too. They are under immense pressure at school to perform, and while we all do realise the importance of their academic performance, we need to sometimes remind ourselves to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Yes, of course, school work is important. But more important to your teen right now is the feeling that you genuinely care about them. A teen who feels secure in the undeniable reliability of their parents’ support is one who more likely to communicate when they need your help the most. And while teenagers are indisputably trying, our relationship with our teens consists of two individuals. One of those individual’s body’s is a cocktail mixed with unchecked hormones, insecurity and plethora of pressures. The other is a mature adult. Sometimes we need to, as difficult as it is, turn the microscope on ourselves and ask, “Am I the parent that I wish I’d had or am I the parent that my child needs?” And if all else fails, you could always send them a SnapChat with a string of acronyms and emojis, and hope for the best. By André Loots (Principal) & Jacqui Browne (English teacher at Crawford College North Coast)

March 20, 2019

Cyberbullying

Bullies have always existed. However, in the digital age, the bullying we are seeing is worse than ever before. This is largely for two reasons: firstly, before we all had smartphones, a victim of bullying could go home from school and have some sort of break. Now, bullying is round the clock. Secondly, the type of content being shared is troubling as people say things behind a screen that they would never say to someone’s face. Moreover, the consequences of cyberbullying are more prevalent – in South Africa, we are seeing increased incidences of depression, anxiety and behaviour related to self-harm and even suicide as a direct result of cyberbullying. When it comes to cyberbullying, anonymity is the root of all evil – people seem to think they can get away with saying whatever they want when they hide behind the veil of online anonymity. We are seeing the worst kinds of bullying taking place on anonymous apps such as Qooh.me or through anonymous profiles created on apps such as Instagram. We are seeing a lot of naming and shaming, direct personal attacks, slut shaming, fat shaming, pressuring others to send nudes, and revenge pornography. Although terrible content is shared on anonymous platforms, the truth is that any platform can be open to abuse. Some platforms are simply better than others at removing offensive content. What to do if you are being bullied If YOU are being bullied: Tell a trusted adult (a parent, guardian or teacher). Take screenshots to keep as evidence. BLOCK the bully. If you are aware that someone else is being bullied: Don’t join in (this includes commenting and sharing harmful content) and leave a WhatsApp group that hosts abusive content. Report bullying to a trusted adult (a parent, guardian or teacher). What legal options are available if you are being bullied? If you know the identity of the bully, and the bullying is sufficiently severe to the extent that it can be said to cause you mental, emotional or psychological harm (or inspire the belief that harm could be caused), one mechanism available is to apply for a Protection Order under the Protection from Harassment Act. Almost all social media platforms have a reporting function that allows the possibility for damaging content to be removed. Finally, the Cybercrimes Bill, which will hopefully become law soon, has codified a lot of crimes relating to online activities. Specifically, its chapter on malicious communications criminalises the creation or distribution of “a data message” that incites the causing of any damage to property belonging to, or violence against, a person or group of persons which is harmful or intimate in nature, and which is distributed without the consent of the person involved. This would include a lot of content that we are loosely defining as cyberbullying.

March 20, 2019

Tips For Choosing The Right High Chair

Before going out and buying a high chair it’s important to know the safety requirements. A US study found that more than 9 400 children, aging three years and younger, were treated each year for high chair related injuries in emergency rooms from 2003 to 2010. That’s one child every hour! Nearly all of these injuries were as a result of a fall where the child either climbed in or out of the chair or stood in it. Majority of the injuries seen were head injuries (37%) then bumps and bruises (33%) followed by lacerations (19%). Most of us use our high chairs in the dining room or kitchen where the flooring is usually hard, so you can imagine the impact this has on a small brain. This has prompted the US to update their safety standards (unfortunately there are no available statistics for South Africa). From mid-2019 all high chairs in the US will have to have a passive crotch restraint and a three-point restraint system, which means there has to be a fixed post that sits between a child’s legs and restraints that are fixed to the high chair in three different places. They found that children were able to slip out the bottom of a high chair and hope a fixed post will prevent this. High chairs are not recommended for children younger than 6 months of age. A child is only ready for a chair once they have good head and neck control and are able to sit up on their own. If one is used too early a child could experience positional asphyxia. You may however, be able to start a little sooner with a reclining high chair. CHOOSING THE RIGHT HIGH CHAIR Framework: choose a high chair that is sturdy. Put some weight on it and see if it squeaks, deforms or moves or collapses. Gaps: make sure there are no gaps your child can slip out of. Also chair-related check for gaps that little fingers can get caught in. Harness: choose a high chair with either a three-point or five-point harness that includes a crotch strap or a post. The restraint should go over the shoulders, around the waist and if a five-point harness then between the legs. Wide base: a high chair becomes top heavy when your child is in. Choosing a chair with a wide base will make it more stable so that it does not tip easily. Wheels: if you choose a high chair with wheels, make sure they can be locked when the chair is in use. Folding locks: if the high chair folds check that the locks work well enough so that the chair cannot fall or collapse when in use. Joints: choose a high chair with metal joints. These are stronger than plastic, which can crack after time. Safety standards: make sure the high chair meets current safety standards and has been approved by an international safety authority. BOOSTER SEATS AND HOOK-ON SEATS Please be careful when you use these chairs. If not used correctly these seats can be dangerous. Hook-on seat: These chairs are mounted directly onto a table and should only be used once your baby has good head and neck control and can sit upright. The mounts must be slip resistant and because this seat carries the entire weight of your baby the table has to be strong so that it does not tip over. Booster seat: These seats are attached to normals chair by straps to raise a child’s height. They are usually used when a child has outgrown the high chair but is not quite tall enough to sit at the table unaided. They should also have straps to keep your child in the seat. KEEPING YOUR CHILD SAFE IN A HIGH CHAIR Never leave your child unsupervised when they are in a high chair. Always use the safety straps when your child sits in the chair, even if only for a few minutes. The tray is not a restraint. If the chair folds, make sure it is locked each time you set the chair up. If the chair has wheels, make sure they are locked each time you set the chair up. Never allow your child to stand in the high chair. Do not place the high chair near a counter or table. Your child may be able to push against the surface and cause the chair to tip over. Don’t allow older children to climb or play on the high chair while another child is seated in it because it could tip over. Position the high chair at its lowest possible height if this is adjustable. Make sure potential hazards such as hot food, drink and sharp cutlery are out of reach. When choosing a high chair opt for an age-appropriate one with plenty of safety features. It’s also important to check often for recalls once you have purchased your chair. High chairs are commonly recalled because of their safety issues. Recent recalls include the Skip Hop Tuo convertible high chair and the Graco Table2Table 6-in-1. You can check http://www.recalls.gov to see if your high chair has been recalled. RESOURCES https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0009922813510599 http:// https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/newsroom/news-releases/2013/12/new-study-finds-24-children-a-day-are-treated-in-us-emergency-departments-for-high-chair-related

March 20, 2019

CHICCO MODE BOOSTER SEAT

The Chicco Mode Booster Seat is the ideal solution for toddlers who want to sit at the table and join in with their family during meals. It has 3 different height positions, can be adjusted to suit different types of tables and adapt to your child’s growth. The adjustable and removable tray is also an ideal surface that toddlers can use when they cannot reach the table. The seat has a padded lining and trendy solid colour or geometric patterned prints. Safety tested and approved by the most authoritative European laboratories, the Mode Booster Seat grows with your baby, from 6 months to 3 years. This funky little piece of furniture is the perfect first chair for your baby as they start gaining their independence and want to sit, eat and socialise with the family. Comes in trendy Pois design as well as a cute Elephant design. Pick one up today at al leading retailers and online portals for the suggested price of R899.

March 19, 2019

MATRIC FAILURE: GETTING BACK ON TRACK WITHOUT LOSING HOPE

The future may look bleak and uncertain to the more than 170 000 Grade 12s who failed their 2018 National Senior Certificate exams, but it would be a huge mistake for them to throw in the towel and resign themselves to the idea that no Matric means no hope for the future, an education expert says. “Of course it is preferable to obtain your Matric certificate, and we will always encourage young people to continue working towards doing so, but that doesn’t mean your life has to stand still in the meantime,” says Alvino Hartley, Team Leader at Oxbridge Academy, which serves more than 20 000 South African distance learning students every year. He says many people don’t realise that there are various study options, particularly vocational ones that are in high demand in the workplace, that don’t require a Matric certificate. “If you can be resilient in the face of this setback, and vow to not put your education on the backburner but rather work hard towards a goal you can become passionate about, you have a recipe for success on your hands,” he says. Hartley says that no matter what the outcome of one’s final exams were, there are always options, and sometimes finding the right way forward just requires some research. “You may want to redo a subject or two, complete failed subjects via distance learning, redo Matric in a year or two, or perhaps even find a qualification that doesn’t require an NSC for enrolment,” he says. “Find what you are passionate about, and then determine how you can still reach your goal within the next three to four years. Yes, it is not ideal if you didn’t pass, but it also does not mean that this ‘failure’ needs to define who you are and what you can achieve for the rest of your life.” Hartley says that instead of allowing ‘failure’ to define you, the experience should be used as a learning opportunity and inspiration to do better in future. Additionally, Matric failure should not serve as a limit check on one’s aspirations for the future. “You can and must still dream big. If you didn’t before, do so now. Once you have a vision for your future, you start building it. Like a house – one brick at a time.” For many who failed Matric, heading right back to school to redo the year may not be an option, for various reasons. In these instances, the Matric goal can be pursued in parallel with other goals, or postponed until after achieving a vocational qualification, says Hartley. “A vocational qualification makes you more employable, by providing the specific skills and theoretical knowledge required in fields such as, for instance, project management, health and safety, logistics and supply chain management, and contact centre operations. All of the aforementioned qualifications can be completed without having a Matric certificate and via distance learning, which means that you can even start earning while you’re learning,” he says. Another option is to do an Introductory N4. “Also called a bridging course, this will give you access to N4 National Qualifications. Students who haven’t completed Matric do the Intro N4 courses and, once they pass the examinations, they cross over to the N4 courses. Once they have passed N4, they can progress to N5 and N6, after which they can apply to the Department of Higher Education and Training for a National Diploma, provided that they have gained 18 months of relevant practical experience,” says Hartley. Passing an N4 level qualification is comparable to Matric. And persevering through N4 to N5 will make you more employable than someone who only has a Matric certificate, says Hartley. “The message is this: You have your whole life ahead of you and you still have time on your side. If you act now to start building your vision brick by brick, investing in your future and believing in yourself, the time will arrive when you look back at your Matric disappointment and see that it wasn’t a brick wall barring you from a successful life, but rather an unexpected door to new and exciting opportunities to turn your dreams into reality.”

March 19, 2019

How To Instantly Organize Childhood Memories

How do you survive an influx of your kids’ stuff pouring into your home from school on a regular basis? Today it’s a drawing of your family, tomorrow it’s a painting, yesterday it was a school photo, 3 weeks ago it was a special valentine’s card and next week it might be a footprint in clay. And I’m sure your memory keeping doesn’t stop with creative objects. During the year you’ll take digital photos of a birthday ring, receive a medal of achievement from a sports day and near year end, purchase a video of a school concert. Memory keeping, I’m sure you’ll agree, doesn’t stop there. You’ll most likely celebrate a birthday with a specific theme, and you’ll enjoy a family holiday. Both events will bring loads of digital photos and videos to show for them. And that’s just for one year. Now multiply that by the number of years your child goes to school and multiply the stash of keepsakes you have for every other child you have. Oh, my! That’s a lot of, well… good stuff! Who else is living with the dilemma of clutter in their living space? So why then, do we collect all these objects that take over our lives? I don’t know about you, but my heart goes all mushy when delight fills my daughters’ eyes, as she delivers her little masterpiece into my hands, after a day at school. Her unique voice rambles away with joyful excitement as she explains her creative work. I love being part of her development, watching her grow and flourish from day to day. I especially enjoy participating in the progressing maturity of her work. And that’s why I tend to keep a careful selection of her beautiful efforts. Each piece telling a story of her childhood journey. Sentimental items, that’ll one day take her back in time, of days long forgotten. Browsing through photos of when she was a baby and toddler, never ceases to amaze her. Again, and again, she loves to travel back in time and witness how she has grown over the years. I feel particularly fuzzy inside, when she suddenly gets excited about a birthday theme she had, or friends that were present in her life. She suddenly remembers stories of her past and confidently tells us about them, and as a family, we share in her joy. Children are a joy! As parents we choose to celebrate their lives. And most of the time, I’m sure you’ll agree with me, all these precious memories and valuable mementos of their childhood, are of course, very sentimental. And that’s the reason why we keep these tokens of their lives. How much we tend to keep, is purely a reflection of who we are as individuals. Some moms will keep more, some will keep less, but the point is, we all keep something, because there is priceless value associated to whatever we choose to keep. The problem doesn’t lie with keeping these treasured pieces. The problem therein lies, on where we keep them and how we display all these very dear tokens of childhood. The truth is, most of us moms and dads, think we have solutions for saving our children’s prized works and achievements. We think we have all our digital memories all saved safely and sorted. But if we ask ourselves honestly, do we really have it together? I’ve experienced it all myself and I’m sure dozens of you feel the same. From boxes, of all shapes and sizes, to envelopes, files, books, scrapbooks, flip files, albums, drawers and shelves. We’ve all tried and tested a mix of them all. Some work, some don’t but the combination of assorted methods tend to create havoc on in our lives. To make things worse, and with the advent of the digital world, well this just bamboozles our filing methods all together. Because simply put, there are way too many videos and photos to look through in a single lifetime. And they too, are just dotted all over the place in various drives, SD cards, memory sticks, computers, phones, CDs and DVDs. Do you feel swamped? Do you need a life jacket yet? If you are anything like I was, or how most people are, you’re using a bunch of standalone keepsake methods that are cluttering up your home and life. In isolation they probably work, but honestly, they negatively alter the way every childhood story should unfold, that is, chronologically, in unified sequence. If you want to feel better, faster, I’ll pinpoint ONE staggering storage solution, that’ll save you money, space, time, chaos in the long term. More importantly, this one revolutionary system is guaranteed to accurately and chronologically keep a variety of ALL your keepsakes, art and memories together, in ONE place, in a neat, tidy, organized and compact way. A way that is not only easy to put together, instant to enjoy and look through, but impressively tracks childhood year by year, whilst keeping all documents safe, from anything that can destroy them. ForeverChilds – My File About Me has made a huge difference in my life, and it’s had an impact on the lives of thousands of our happy customers too. I invite you to embark on a new adventure. It’s truly a delight to watch your child grow and capture the journey. To discover more or shop online www.myfilleaboutme.co.za

March 18, 2019

Review: Chicco Mode Booster Seat

The Chicco MoDe Booster Seat is a great mobile solution for feeding. The seat is bright and practical and offers a great portable dining experience. Most times when going on a picnic, or even a restaurant these days, there are just not enough seats for little one’s. With the Chicco MoDe Booster Seat, you can quickly have your little one right next to you in no time! The Plastic moulded seat ensures that there are no gaps for little bits of food to fall in-between. The seat itself is attractive and fits with most standard chairs. One is able to adjust to your child’s needs. The two lockable straps really ensure that baby is safe at all times. One for the back of the chair as well as one for under the chair as well as a 3 point safety belt to ensure that baby is safe at all times. The removable and adjustable tray has three locking positions. The chair has height adjustments as well so baby can be seated comfortably no matter the height to chair table. Then when you done, the whole seat folds in two which makes it east to transport. The covers are quick to remove and wipe down or simply hand wash to preserve the protective coating. BRAND: Chicco MODEL: MoDe Booster Seat APPROX AGE: From 6 months to around 3 years DIMENSIONS: Seat width 290mm; seat depth 320mm and backrest height 210mm AVAILABLE FROM: All leading retailers

March 15, 2019

UNO®, World’s #1 Card Game, Announces New Game – DOS™

What’s better than one? Two, of course! Introducing the newest member to the UNO® family, the first new game release from the classic card brand in over 50 years – DOS™. Based on the same simple rules that have made UNO® one of the world’s much-loved card games, DOS™ is a new spin on an old favourite, reflecting UNO’s® perfectly simple premise of matching numbers and colours, but offering the additional challenge of multiple play options. DOS™ features new rules and 3 new cards to offer players a different challenge alongside the nostalgia of the classic UNO® brand. The DOS™ game starts with two cards in the center and each player with seven cards in their hand. As per UNO®, the aim of the game is for players to get rid of their cards before their competitors do by matching them to the cards on the piles on the table, either through numbers or colours. In a fun twist, if a player has two cards that add up to the number on the pile, they are able to put down both cards at the same time. Anytime a player has only two cards in their hands, they must yell “DOS™”. The winner is the first person to attain 200 points. If you love UNO®, you’re going to love DOS™ twice as much! It’s a fun, fast-moving game that’s set to become a firm family favourite. DOS™ hits South African shelves in March 2019 and will be available at selected retailers for RRP R119.99. Suitable for children aged 7+ Follow the conversation on social media using the hashtag: #UNOxDOS

March 15, 2019

Medical tax rebates stable after budget speech

Private medical aid members can breathe a sigh of relief after the budget speech. Treasury has been hinting for a while that they were considering reducing of the medical tax credit to fund the National Health Insurance (NHI), fortunately, it remains unchanged for the year ahead. Although it was a relief to members it was also a surprise tax sacrifice, considering the need to fund NHI. This equates to over R30 billion this year and around R35/36 billion for the coming year – a large sum indeed. It is believed the removal of tax credits would have upset too many people who are dependent on it to access private health care and are essentially being rewarded for not burdening the government health care. Before 2012, SARS deducted your medical aid contributions against your taxable income. ‘Originally,’ says Gerhard Van Emmenis, Principal Officer of Bonitas Medical Fund, ‘your medical aid contributions would be a deduction against your taxable income. However, from 2012, SARS introduced a medical credit, a ‘tax credit’ which is deducted from your overall tax liability.’ The medical tax credit consists of the following two amounts: The medical scheme fees tax credit This applies to the premiums paid by you to a registered medical scheme on behalf of yourself and your dependents. The main member, as well as the first dependant on the medical scheme, receive a monthly tax credit of R310 (for the 2018-2019 year). All additional dependants receive a monthly tax credit of R209 (for the 2018-2019 tax year). There are three categories: 1. Under 65 (without disability) 25% of the total contributions paid to the medical scheme Less (4X medical scheme fees credit) Plus qualifying medical expenses paid less 7.5% of taxable income 2. Under 65 (with a disability) 33.3% of total contributions paid to the medical scheme Less (3X medical scheme fees credit) Plus qualifying medical expenses paid 3. 65 or over (with or without disability) 33.3% of total contributions paid to the medical scheme Less (3X medical scheme fees credit) Plus qualifying medical expenses It is important to note that if your premium is a deduction from your salary or wages, your employer is obliged to use the credit system to adjust your monthly PAYE tax accordingly. If you contribute to a medical scheme independently from your employer, you will receive the tax credit on assessment when you complete your tax return. 2. The additional medical expenses tax credit This means that the overall amount of tax you need to pay at the end of the tax year is reduced. The amount of your tax rebate is made up of a percentage of all out-of-pocket expenses you have spent on qualifying medical expenses that weren’t covered by your medical scheme. This amount accumulates throughout the tax year. You will need to keep the slips for these expenses. To calculate the additional medical expenses tax credit, special formulas are used. The specific formula to use depends on your age and whether you or one or more of your dependants has a disability. The following out-of-pocket expenses qualify: Consultations, services or medications from a registered medical practitioner, arthropod, physiotherapist, dentist, chiropractor, herbalist, homoeopath, optometrist, osteopath or naturopath Admission to a registered hospital, including nursing homes Care at patient’s home by a registered nurse, nursing assistant, nursing agency or midwife Medicines prescribed by a duly registered physician (as listed above) and acquired from a duly registered pharmacist Medical expenses on services rendered or medicines supplied outside of South Africa and which are substantially similar to the services and medicines listed above Money paid towards the treatment of a physical impairment or disability (as long as it is a qualifying expense prescribed by the Commissioner). What about over-the-counter expenses It is important to note that unless these are prescribed by a registered medical practitioner and acquired by a pharmacist they don’t enjoy a tax rebate. Examples include medicines, such as cough syrups, headache tablets or vitamins. ‘Whether NHI is going to materialise or not’, says Van Emmenis, ‘The Government’s coffers need filling and the approximately 17% of the South African population on private medical should expect their medical aid tax relief to get less and less in the future.’

March 15, 2019

How To Track Baby’s Feeds, Sleeps and Nappies

There are many ways to track your baby’s daily essentials. You may prefer to use a baby tracker App, note book or just printed out notes. Either way, here is what you need to be tracking. How to track your baby’s feeds If you are breastfeeding, track the time you commence breastfeeding, the duration your baby fed on each breast. For bottle feeds, track the time you started the feed and the amount of milk your baby drank. Once your baby transitions to solids, you can note down the time, what your baby ate (e.g., sweet potatoes) and portion size (e.g., one ice cube, or 1 tablespoon). It is also a good idea to jot down if he ate ‘all, most or some.’ So that you can see what your little one likes! WHY? You will be able to pick up your baby’s feeding patterns and then from there build a routine. Also, if your baby has any weight issues or health concerns a record of your baby’s feeding schedule will be required by your paediatrician. By referring to the feeding record your paediatrician can begin to understand why and support you to address the situation. How to track your baby’s sleep Write down the time your baby went to sleep, and when he woke up, or the duration of the nap. Importantly, write down the time your baby goes down for the evening and wakes up in the morning to start the day. Knowing your little one’s bedtime will enable you to set down bedtime at the same time each night. WHY? You will pick up your baby’s sleep patterns and notice your baby’s routine developing. By noting your little one’s sleep, you can also start to pick up if your baby is going through a growth spurt or getting sick, etc. Knowing your little one’s bedtime will enable you to set down bedtime at the same time each night. Establishing a bedtime is often the first step in building a healthy, flexible sleep routine. How to track your baby’s nappies Tick off when your baby has a wet or a dirty diaper. You may also make comments on consistency or colour if relevant, or if you have any concerns. WHY? Through this, you will pick up whether your little one is feeding enough. Generally, a newborn will have about 6 wet diapers a day. If your baby has no wet nappies, this is a concern, and you should contact your doctor. Who should track your baby’s daily routine? First and foremost, as a mom you will be the one spending the most time with your newborn baby. Therefore, it is essential that you are comfortable with the baby tracker method you will use. Ultimately, everyone who cares for your little one should track. Including both parents and caregivers. As your baby grows and you start leaving your baby with granny or a nanny, you can also ask them to note down your baby’s day in the baby tracker. In this way, you will have a one snapshot view of your baby’s day while you were away. Track your little one’s special moments and milestones Whichever baby tracker method you use, ensure you have space to capture special moments. That first outing, first smile, or the first nappy blow out on to your clothes (yep, it’s a THING). Although having a newborn is tough, it is also incredibly rewarding. These moments are priceless. The With Love Baby Journal – Baby Tracker Journal The With Love Baby Journal was designed as a simple, yet beautiful book for you to write down your little one’s routine. Created by a mama for mamas! It is the perfect Baby Tracking Journal for you track your baby’s feeds (breast, bottle, solids), sleep, nappies, and milestones. The With Love Baby Journal also doubles up as a beautiful keepsake you can look back on. Order your With Love Baby Journal to help you keep track of everything that matters.

March 14, 2019

TABLETS: THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG FOR SUCCESSFUL DIGITAL EDUCATION

Public schools in South Africa can look forward to joining the digital education revolution as some of their private school counterparts have been experiencing for the past few years, but education experts have cautioned against a rush to provide tablets and other digital infrastructure before a solid strategy and fundamentals have been put in place. “In the rush to get on board with the 4th Industrial Revolution – a term many are invoking without truly understanding the issues involved – private schools have increasingly been offering coding, robotics and digital learning on their campuses,” says John Luis, Head of Academics at ADvTECH Schools, which has been at the forefront of introducing tech in South African classrooms for several years. “However simply offering content that previously used to be in book or paper format, and not investing time and money in a holistic approach to content and delivery, as well as proper educator and support staff training, will render such initiatives futile and expensive mistakes,” he says. Luis says while there is much talk about coding and ICT in schools, the key success factor when introducing technology in classrooms is the development of an appropriate and defined curriculum. And very importantly, tech in the classroom can never replace the fundamental core skills required for academic excellence. In his State of the Nation address this month, President Cyril Ramaphosa announced that government would, over the next six years, provide every school child in South Africa with digital workbooks and textbooks on a tablet device. While the sentiment is welcomed, there is much work to be done before the time arrives to unbox devices. “It is extremely important to understand that learning is served and not defined by technological tools,” says Dr Neelam Parmar, renowned global tech-ed expert. “All too often we think that the technology will fix our teaching and learning problems in school but what is truly important that the technology is embedded firmly and seamlessly within the curriculum and lesson delivery in the classroom,” she says. The digital strategy at ADvTECH schools was designed and implemented in conjunction with Dr Parmar, whose stellar career includes leading the implementation of technology and learning across The London Preparatory Schools in South West London and now in Ashford School, one of the United Learning Trust Schools. She is an award-winning professional, international researcher, author, thought leader and speaker on effective technology, pedagogic, and content integration within education. “There is great potential in creating online learning systems to close the widening educational gap,” she says, “but to get to this point in education, it is vital that the government first understand the relevance of emerging technologies and the means of how to offer the necessary digital literacy skills for our next generation”. She says the right curriculum is essential for successful and sustainable digital transformation in classrooms, and while the market is inundated with companies that claim to offer bespoke educational solutions, private – and now also the public education sector in South Africa – must realise that one solution does not fit all. “At ADvTECH, we embedded a digital literacy curriculum which follows a structured format and affords a flexible approach to adapt to the requirements of the classroom. The curriculum takes into account industry-wide key digital skills in areas of Computational Thinking and Programming, Creativity and Communication and Computer Networks and Collaboration. “There is a great deal of hype around the 4th Industrial Revolution, and undoubtedly change is taking place at a phenomenal level, yet any change at this level needs to come with a vision, and with a vision, we need a strategy.” The risk is often that visions are little more than ideas without substance or structure, Dr Parmar says. “For technology to become relevant in education, a strategy considering the grand scheme of systems, teaching and learning, curriculum redesign, teacher training, community, new partnerships and the relevant stakeholders, has to be considered. It is now time to act on delivering the right education to our students, by using the technology we know can make it happen.”

March 14, 2019

CHICCO POCKET RELAX BOUNCER

Ensure your newborn always has a place to sit and play. Perfect for families on the go, the Chicco Pocket Relax bouncer is lightweight and features a 3D folding system which allows it to fold easily and compactly at the click of two buttons making it easy to take with you when away from home. The Chicco Pocket Relax can be used in both a static sitting position or can be used to gently rock and soothe your little one. It even comes complete with its own storage bag making it even more portable when on the move. One of the best things about the Chicco Pocket Relax Bouncer is the fact that it is so compact, and comes with an easy to transport travel bag. The entire bouncer weighs only 2.2kg. It is not only ideal for travel, but an excellent solution to use around the home to keep an eye on your child whilst busy. Grab one today at all leading retailers and online portals for the suggested price of R1199.

March 13, 2019

DIFFERENT ROUTES FOR TACKLING MATRIC THROUGH DISTANCE LEARNING

Thousands upon thousands of learners who fail Matric every year are either unable or unwilling to return to school to complete their National Senior Certificate examinations, forcing them to join the relentlessly growing pool of South Africans who have little prospect of landing even an entry-level position. Some of the reasons for not returning to school include a lack of funds, an unwillingness to go back to the benches with younger learners, the stigma some may feel as a result of failing, and a sense of futility over one’s ability to successfully complete Grade 12. “There is hope, and good news for young people facing these circumstances, as well as those who had long ago given up hope,” says Nomawabo May, Team Leader: Student Advisor Department at Oxbridge Academy. She says young people who either failed or didn’t gain university exemption in the past three years, still qualify to do rewrites of papers this year – provided they move quickly to meet registration deadlines. “If you’ve been sitting at home since receiving bad news about your results last month, and don’t know where to from here, you should seriously consider heading back to the books sooner rather than later, as you are still in a great position to earn your Matric despite your earlier setback,” she says. May says the benefit of doing Matric subject rewrites via distance learning, is that it is affordable, that it can be done via the comfort of one’s own home, that learning materials are user-friendly and easy to understand, and that there will be excellent tutor support available both telephonically and online if one is signed up with a respected institution. “If your attempt to finish school in 2016, 2017 or 2018 was unsuccessful, you are still well positioned to grasp the bull by the horns this year, and we’ll advise anyone falling into this category to consider their vision for their future and to turn their goals and dreams into reality,” she says. May says those who were unsuccessful in completing Matric during or before 2015 should also not despair, as there is a range of options available to them, including completing a bridging course or equivalent qualification or attempting the Senior Certificate (as amended). “Unfortunately, people are not always aware of their options, which means that they may become despondent too early, and give up because they simply don’t know that there are routes to qualifying that will suit their pocket and their circumstances. “Some people still think going to school is the only way to finish Matric, and if you weren’t successful, you have to resign yourself to this outcome. Nothing can be further from the truth, as a home study – distance learning – is recognised worldwide as an effective way in which to further your education. It is the ideal option for older students, those who live outside of the main metros or even in rural areas, those who have work or family responsibilities preventing them from attending full-time contact classes, and those whose budgets don’t allow for travel and high accommodation costs.” May says one of the big inhibitors for these students, however, is the fear of failing again. “That is why you need to ensure you speak to a student counsellor at a respected institution, who will help you devise the best strategy for you and your studies. These advisors will be able to help you determine exactly what the best course or courses are for you, how you need to pace your studies, and also what additional support you may need. “Our message to the hundreds of thousands of South Africans sitting at home, unable to see a light at the end of the tunnel, is that there is indeed hope. All it takes is for them to take the first step, and to make contact with the people whose mission in life it is to help people like them realise their dreams and aspirations. Then, to take the next baby step and the next baby step, until these dreams start taking shape and are realised.”

March 13, 2019

What is Divorce Mediation?

Separation and divorce are among the most distressing and disruptive events that individuals and families can go through. They are extremely emotional processes which involve making decisions and reaching agreements on sensitive issues which have a direct, long-term impact on families. Making decisions regarding your children’s upbringing, calculating maintenance costs or dividing assets and liabilities justly can be very difficult under these circumstances. Objectivity and problem-solving are often dominated by emotion and as a result, couples’ resort to litigation. Litigation can be expensive, emotionally draining, time-consuming and have a long-lasting negative impact on family relationships. Divorce or family mediation is an alternative to litigation. It is a form of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) designed to resolve disputes pre, during or post-separation or divorce. The process empowers participants to shape their own agreements regarding parenting plans, maintenance calculations and division of assets and liabilities. Because they are shaped by the parents themselves, they are typically more fair, practical and sustainable. These agreements are suited to meet the needs of each family’s unique circumstances. When children are involved, they are developed around the children’s best interests. In my experience a holistic approach to managing the separation or divorce process is ideal. The reason for this is that the focus of mediation is not solely the termination of the marriage or relationship. Mediation focuses on the entire family, the continued relationship of the parties and how to best prepare the parties to anticipate and manage future scenarios. Therefore; in some instances, the process may include the brief involvement of psychologists or social workers, financial coaches and, to formalise agreements, an attorney. The underlying principles of Divorce Mediation Divorce mediation has five underlying principles that will help you better understand the mediation process: The process is voluntary (unless ordered by the court). Both parties need to agree to mediate and sign an agreement to mediate. However, at any stage, either party can terminate the process. Mediation is confidential (except for some situations), providing a safe space for parties to openly communicate. What is discussed in mediation is without prejudice, therefore, cannot be used in court. This fosters more open dialogue which in turn can lead to a clearer understanding of the issues and result in more creative and flexible solutions. The mediation process is empowering. Why? Because empowerment is synonymous with taking responsibility and this is what the mediation process encourages and allows parties to do. It recognises that nobody is better placed to create a family’s future than the family itself. Objectivity is central to the mediation process. A mediator is an independent, neutral third-party who conducts the mediation. The mediator’s role is to help both parties identify, negotiate and come to a mutually-acceptable agreement on the various issues highlighted by the parties themselves. The process of mediation is unique. You determine what issues need to be addressed, you decide on the solution, you control the outcome and as a result, you are the decision makers for your family’s future. Under what circumstances can divorce mediation be used? Divorce mediation can assist families to reach agreements on many issues such as: • Parenting plans • Child maintenance agreements • Spousal maintenance agreements • Division of assets and liabilities and accrual calculations • Family disputes • Matrimonial property regimes Research backs mediation Mediation in the 1970s was effectively an experimental approach supported by a few practitioners. Today, the growth of family and divorce mediation is revealed in the volume of literature which describes the process, models and techniques that can be used, promoting the use of it, the role of the mediator and how to select a mediator are just some of the avenues that have been researched extensively. Examples of research findings are: De Jong (2010), found that mediation is a way of helping parties to negotiate agreements and renegotiate relationships in a more adaptive way than adversarial procedures. Lowenstein (2009), describes mediation as, one of the interventions in place to put parents in control of the decision making regarding their divorce and future of their children. Shaw (2010), conducted research and reported that mediation has been shown quantitatively to be superior to litigation in dealing with divorce cases. Research by Kelly (2004), has shown that divorce mediation is helpful in resolving emotional and agreement issues in family conflict, which could have a positive impact on children’s adjustment to the divorce Judicial stamp of approval Various court judgements illustrate that both the legislature and the judiciary fully recognise the importance of mediation in South Africa. The following are examples of court judgements: In the case of Brownlee v Brownlee, the court emphasised the parties duty to attempt to mediate their dispute prior to appearing in court. Also, highlighted was the obligation of the law practitioners to advise and encourage their clients to enter into divorce mediation was also highlighted. In the case of Van den Berg v Le Roux, the court ordered that the parties undergo mediation for all future child contact disputes with regard to their 10-year-old daughter. Only after completion of the mediation process could either of the parties approach the court for a ruling. In Townsend-Turner and another v Morrow, the parties were ordered to attend mediation for a period of three months or at least four sessions in an effort to resolve the issue of access between of a 7-year-old boy’s father and his maternal grandmother. The Benefits of divorce mediation As an accredited family and divorce mediator, apart from where there is substance abuse, domestic violence or major power imbalances in the relationship, I am convinced that mediation is a better option than litigation to solve disagreements. The reason being is that agreements reached in the mediation process are suited to meet the needs of each family’s unique circumstances which involves the children’s best interests. Therefore, mediation is a compelling alternative to litigation with numerous benefits such as: Saves time Reduces financial costs considerably Children’s best interests are put first

March 12, 2019

Creating a curious mind and fostering life-long learning by having a growth mind-set

You can teach a student a lesson for a day, but if you can teach him/her to learn by curiosity, he/she will continue the learning process as long as he/she lives – Clay P. Bedford Children are naturally curious. They are constantly exploring the world around them; constantly asking questions, and constantly wondering how things work. The question, therefore, is not how do we create a curious mind, but how do we nurture a child’s curiosity so that they have a continued passion for learning throughout their lives. Learning is about discovering how life works, and children are not afraid to ask the “How?” and “Why?” questions. A curious mind is a hidden force that drives learning, critical thinking, and reasoning. It’s about having an open and active mind. It puts the brain in a state that makes learning easier, more enjoyable, and longer-lasting. Stimulating a child’s curiosity impacts their learning and development for a lifetime. Curious children explore their environment, devour books and information, ask questions, investigate concepts, manipulates data, searches for meaning, connect with people and nature, and seek new learning experiences. So how do we nurture this curious mind? Model interest in the world, and teach them to be good observers When walking around wonder out loud about the things you see. The trees, the sky, etc. Follow the child’s lead Encourage their natural interests. Children learn so much more through activities that capture their attention and interest. Encourage them to ask questions Answer their questions simply and clearly, in a way, they will understand. Before answering though, first, ask them what their thoughts are. If you do not know the answer let them know that not knowing is also ok, and then model how they can go about finding the answers (eg. Internet, talking to someone, etc) Introduce your child to the library and foster a love for books and reading, whether it be story books or about rockets. Stimulate your child with open-ended questions that can’t be answered with only a “ye”, “no” or “fine”. Create an interesting environment, continuously rotate your supply of toys to keep things “fresh”. Redirect behaviour instead of discouraging it. For example, if they like pouring out water from their cup onto the floor from their highchair, move them to the floor or backyard with a bucket in front of them so they can continue experimenting with a water. This will also teach them problem-solving skills, creative and acceptable ways to do and get what they want. Allow time for open-ended activities Do not tell them what to do with materials like boxes, blocks, water, sand, etc; how to do it; or what it should look like in the end. Curiosity broadens a child’s mind, and a broader mind helps in the holistic development of the child. Curiosity should therefore never be suppressed or else it can have an adverse impact on a child’s early development. As John Holt says: “Children do not need to be made to learn” since they are already born with what Einstein called “the holy curiosity of inquiry”. By Lauren Holton, Teacher at Trinityhouse Northriding

March 11, 2019

Practical tips on how to keep your kids safe online

If you have been on any social media platform these past few weeks you might have seen the terrifying image of a creature with long black hair and bulging eyes. Warnings about the Momo Challenge, an online game in which children are encouraged to harm themselves, have gone viral. But some sources have now confirmed that the challenge is nothing but a hoax designed to scare parents (and children). Whether the Momo Challenge is real or not, online safety remains a concern for every 21st century parent. The Momo Challenge might have been fake, but there are real threats out there, like cartoons on YouTube being spliced with instructions on how to commit suicide – videos that have been confirmed to exist. It’s important for parents to take preventative measures to keep their kids safe on the internet. While limiting screen time is a good place to start, here are some other things you can do to keep your kids safe, both online and offline. Establish some ground rules With younger children you can control (almost) everything they see online but older children are tech-savvy and can easily find themselves viewing content that might be inappropriate for their age. It’s important to have an open conversation and to encourage them to speak to you or any other adult they trust if they encounter anything in the digital realm that appears frightening or threatening. SafeKids.com, a site that promotes internet safety for kids, lists a set of criteria that you can discuss with your kids about what they should and should not do on the internet. Keep technology in a common space It is best to keep technology like smartphones, tablets and computers in a common space for all family members to use. The computer screen should be visible from other parts of the room and should not be turned towards a wall. This way children can see how the internet should be used and how useful it can be, e.g. doing research for a project, looking up an address, or watching educational videos. Children are also less likely to look for inappropriate content with a parent in the room. Pay for content The problem with free content, like the videos on YouTube and YouTube Kids, is that anyone can upload videos without it being curated or approved. And it is not only the content you need to be worried about, the advertisements showed between videos can also be harmful. You might want to consider paying for good children’s entertainment, e.g. Netflix, Showmax, children’s DVDs, or advert-free games designed for young players. Use a child-friendly search engine While most of us rely on Google to find what we are looking for, you might want to switch to an alternative search engine like Kiddle or Kid’s Search when your children are browsing online. These child-specific search engines aim to create a safe platform for children to explore the internet. If you want to continue using Google as your preferred search engine, enable Google SafeSearch on your computer. Here’s how: Go to google.com Google anything and select Settings on the right. Select Turn on SafeSearch. Explicit images, videos, and websites will now be blocked from the Google Search results. Make Apps Safe Or as safe as they can be. On YouTube you can select restricted mode, an optional setting that restricts the availability of potentially mature or objectionable content. Here’s how to turn restricted mode on: Go to the account icon . Click Restricted Mode. In the dialog box that appears, toggle restricted mode to on. Restricted mode works on the browser or device level, so you must turn it on for each browser or device you are using. For safety, turn restricted mode on for all the browsers (e.g. Google Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer, etc.) loaded on your computer, smart TV, tablet or smartphone. You can also lock restricted mode. This will prevent anyone else, your kids included, from changing the settings. Watch this short video to learn how to lock restricted mode. Keep in mind, however, that switching to a child-friendly search engine, selecting SafeSearch on Google or restricted mode on YouTube is not 100% accurate and that some inappropriate content may still slip through. It is therefore important to be mindful of your child’s online activities and to teach your child about internet safety. Article written by Elmien Ackerman – Copywriter at Impaq

March 8, 2019

1ST YEAR EARLY WARNING SIGNS: HOW TO AVOID BECOMING A DROPOUT STATISTIC

Across the country, hundreds of thousands of young people recently entered Higher Education hoping to graduate in a few years so that they are qualified to enter the workplace. The reality, however, is that first-year dropout rates are extremely high in South Africa, which means many first years won’t complete their studies. But the good news is that there are a number of early alarm bells which, if needed, can help students manage their risk and prevent them from abandoning their studies, an education expert says. “While statistics vary, it is estimated that more than 40% of students quit their studies after their first year. Some would argue that this figure is as high as 60%,” says Peter Kriel, General Manager at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private Higher Education provider. “Not being successful as a first-year student in Higher Education, is a process that begins well before a student actually drops out of Higher Education, as there are various early signs of potential failure that can predict if a student may run into trouble later,” he says. Kriel says parents and students should note that factors influencing study success can be broadly divided into three categories: Broader socio-economic or personal factors, not properly doing one’s homework before deciding what to study and where, and most importantly, one’s approach and actions as a first-year student. For students who are already in Higher Education, the third category is the one they need to address now, says Kriel. He says that students should carefully consider the questions below. If the answer to any of these questions is “NO”, they need to take action as recommended in the solution to each problem, as they might be at risk. Q1: Did I meaningfully participate in my institution’s orientation programme? Any good institution of Higher Education should have a first-year orientation programme, says Kriel. He says the information provided during orientation is intended to guide students logistically, so they can focus on academic work without being overwhelmed by admin. “If you missed out on orientation, particularly academic onboarding programmes, you will now have to acquire these skills on your own on top of the day-to-day academic demands.” Solution: Speak to someone to find out what the orientation programme included. If your institution of choice is offering an extended first-year onboarding programme, make sure you get involved immediately. Make time to specifically focus on trying to gather the information you missed out on – logistical information is especially easy to gather. Academic preparedness will be a little more challenging, but it is worth catching up on what you missed early on. Q2: Am I attending most of my classes? Class attendance is probably the single most important contributing factor to success, says Kriel. “Of course, reasons beyond your control may cause you to occasionally miss a lecture or tutorial, but if you miss class simply because you don’t feel like it or you had a late night and feel like sleeping in, you are at risk,” he says. “If you miss class because you are working on an assignment or task in another module – you may need to plan better. Missing class to do assignments becomes a vicious circle as you miss more classes to do other assignments. This is a recipe for failure.” Solution: Undertake to miss no more classes going forward, and draw up a roster for future assignments so you can complete these without needing to skip class. Prioritise your classes and schedule all other activities so there is no conflict. If something comes up which prevents you from attending a specific lecture, catch up as soon as you can. Q3: Did I pass all my assessments to date? It is still early in the academic year, but your performance in any assessment you may have had, be it a formal test or assignment or a task completed in class, is already a clear indicator of your outcomes profile, says Kriel. Solution: Determine why you failed an assessment. Did you work hard enough? If not, you know you need to work harder. Are there parts of the work you don’t understand because you missed class? If so, follow the advice in point 2 above. Did you do everything possible and simply do not understand certain concepts? If this is the case, speak to your lecturer sooner rather than later about how to approach the issue. Q4: Did I acquire all the prescribed text for my modules? For many reasons, not least financial pressures, many students don’t buy prescribed textbooks. “Unfortunately, your chances of success are diminished if you don’t have textbooks. Textbooks guide students through the syllabus of a specific module like a roadmap and are often accompanied by additional resources, questions and activities that will enhance the mastering of the required material,” says Kriel. Solution: If you can afford to buy the prescribed text, get it as soon as possible. If not, know that student-centred Higher Education institutions will be acutely aware of the challenges some students face and may have e-book alternatives. Often these are available for free to registered students. Speak to the librarian on your campus to find out if there is an e-book alternative for the textbooks you don’t have. There may also be copies of the textbooks in the campus library, and while these are often on the reserve shelf, spending time in the library will definitely be advantageous. Q5: Do I feel part of a Community of Practice? Moving from a comparatively protective school environment to Higher Education may mean that you find it hard to adapt from the start. This may unsettle you if you subconsciously feel that you are not at the same level of performance as your fellow students. The reality is that these feelings are quite normal and that many of your classmates probably feel the same. Solution: Talk to someone you trust about your experience and feelings. Good institutions will have academic support and counselling facilities. Having

March 8, 2019

MATRICS: USE THE NEXT 6 WEEKS TO LAY THE FOUNDATION FOR STUDY SUCCESS

University choices may feel like a distant priority for this year’s Matrics who are currently settling into the rhythm of their final year at school. But now is, in fact, the optimal time to be investigating what they want to study and where, because making the right choice takes time, and will ultimately impact on study success and employability 4 years from now, an expert says. “Prospective students will start applying from around the April holidays onwards, whereafter the applications will start coming in thick and fast, and the rush to secure a place will intensify. Once your fellow learners start applying, you will really start to feel the pressure to do so as well, which could lead to you settling for a generic qualification or taking the traditional route that others in the same boat as you are following just to make sure you don’t miss your chance,” says Nola Payne, Head of Faculty: Information and Communications Technology at The Independent Institute of Education, SA’s largest private higher education institution. “The gravity of the choice you need to make about your future in coming weeks can’t be overstated. The right study choice at the right institution is a solid foundation for future success, but the wrong choice can exact a costly financial and emotional toll for a long time. It, therefore, makes sense to use the relative calm of the coming weeks – a calm that will not again be repeated in your Matric year – to make absolutely sure about what you want to do next year,” says Payne. She says there are two main questions around which Matrics should focus their investigations: 1) What should I study and 2) Where should I study. 1) WHAT SHOULD I STUDY? “If you have more or less of an idea of your strengths and ideal work, that’s a great start,” notes Payne. “However many people have no idea of what they want to do with their life after school. These learners should start by investigating potential careers that interest them, and importantly, investigate the demand for suitably qualified professionals in these fields.” Payne advises Matrics to scour job advertisements, see which positions excite them and devour any media they can lay their hands on to get an idea of the kinds of careers that are out there. “Remember that new careers exist today that are vastly different from the careers of the past, and you may even land upon something you’ve never heard of before. Once you’ve identified your ideal career, you should then investigate what you would need to study to do the kind of work that excites you.” A major consideration is whether to opt for a traditional academic degree or a work-focused one, says Payne. “In our tough job market, the closer a degree is aligned to the realities of the world of work, and the greater a qualification’s ability to make you land on your feet from the first day on the job, the better your chances of success. So ask institutions about their lecturers and curricula – are they still involved in their profession beyond teaching, and does the institution have close ties with companies and industry professionals? “The days of academic ivory towers disconnected from the demands and requirements of the real world are numbered, and prospective students must endeavour to find an institution that understands and responds to what is needed in today’s workplaces.” 2) WHERE SHOULD I STUDY? With South Africa’s 26 public universities and countless private higher education institutions, prospective students have their work cut out for them in determining where their goals and ambitions would be best realised. Because if an institution is registered and accredited, its qualifications will be valid and recognised in the workplace, regardless of whether they originate from a private institution or a state-funded one. But there are other important issues to consider. These include proximity to where one currently lives, class sizes, student support and career guidance services, and the degree to which the curriculum is aligned and able to adapt to modern workplaces. “Opting for a uni closer to home means savings on the financial front, as well as proximity to your existing support structures which can be helpful when the going gets tough,” says Payne. “Large class sizes can make you feel invisible and like a number, while smaller class sizes mean more attention and a greater feeling of belonging. Getting real-life work experience and assignments prepare you for the workplace in a way theory only can never do, while student support services can make a crucial difference in your success. “Make sure you get satisfactory feedback on all these issues before signing up with an institution,” she says. Payne says making the right choice, based on thorough research and investigation of all options, has a huge role to play in student outcomes. “Many students drop out of their first year because they made their study choice under pressure, or because they realise after a few weeks or months that there are other qualifications more suited to their aspirations. Some only get exposed to interesting fields and other higher education institutions once they leave school and are already studying – a situation that can be avoided if proper time and attention is given now to exploring what’s out there. “We urge teachers, parents and guardians too, in coming weeks, guide the young people in their care to enable them to make informed choices calmly and with clarity. This will allow learners to put the anxiety of their 2020 plans behind them, and focus fully on doing their best in the important series of exams that lie ahead this year.”

March 8, 2019

Review: OneAid Mini First Aid Kit

There is no doubt that we all need a good First-Aid Kit in the home, the car, your handbag…. You name it, children always seem to find scrapes and burns when you least expect it. We are absolutely in love with the MiniKit by OneAid. Developed by a mother who just happens to be a medical doctor with years of experience in the trauma room, every consideration has been made in this handy first aid kit. Firstly, it wraps up small. Small enough to fit in your handbag, diaper bag or to keep inside your motor vehicle. The kit comprises of: 2) Pairs of gloves (latex-free) (1) Hand disinfectant (2) First aid dressing (1) Conforming bandage (1) Triangular bandage (1) Sterile gauze (1) Sterile dressing pad (12) Assorted plasters (1) Burn gel (1) Burn dressing (4) cotton buds (1) Antiseptic solution (2) Antiseptic ointment (1) First aid scissors (1) Metal tweezers (1) Adhesive tape (1) Syringe (5ml) (3) Reward stickers Available in Red or Yellow Don’t miss out on this amazing first aid kit, you certainly will not be sorry! Retail price is R395 and can be purchased online at www.oneaid.co.za

March 8, 2019

Goatie Goodness – the better choice

When choosing milk, it’s not just a matter of full cream, low-fat or flavoured anymore. Sometimes an alternative is needed. But not all milks are created equal. Here’s a five-point checklist of what to look for and why Goat milk could be the ‘right’ milk choice for you and your family. Fat size Young children should drink full cream milk since they need the fat for proper development of their brains and nervous systems. Goat milk is a full cream milk and is naturally homogenized, meaning the fat molecules are naturally smaller and more easily digested. Protein Structure Milk is also a great source of high-quality protein. Protein builds, strengthens and repairs our body’s muscles, bones and blood. The protein composition of goat’ milk allows it to form a softer curd during digestion offering greater digestive health and comfort. Type of Carbohydrate Some carbohydrates, known as oligosaccharides possess “prebiotic” properties, promoting the growth of beneficial bacteria in our gut and boosting our immune system. Goat milk contains the highest amount of oligosaccharides among domestic animals and is free of added sugars Essential Vitamins & Minerals Research consistently shows that South Africans have a low intake of the minerals, calcium and potassium. Milk is a good source of calcium. Calcium is needed for strong bones and teeth. Vitamin D is essential to help increase the absorption of calcium from the gut. Check the ingredients list on the milk label for milk with Vitamin D (cholecalciferol). One glass of KABRITA Instant Full Cream Goat Milk gives you half your daily requirements for vitamin D. Better Sustainability Important environmental issues such as hygiene, animal welfare and overall quality are uppermost in the minds of the most discerning consumer and parent. All KABRITA goats’ milk is non-GMO* and is sourced from farms which follow strict guidelines in terms of animal feed and treatment. KABRITA goats’ milk is set to meet the highest international standards and goats have not been exposed to antibiotics, growth hormones or pesticides. KABRITA Instant Full Cream Goat Milk is available as an easy-to-use goat milk powder for the whole family; it’s free of added sugars and provides nutrients that support health. Why not give this unique, high-quality goat milk with its fresh and mildly sweet taste, a try? *non-genetically modified organisms Kabrita Instant Full Cream Goat Milk powder is available at Dis-Chem Pharmacy, Baby City stores and Wellness Warehouse nationwide with a price range from R170 (400g). The product range is also online at… www.dischem.co.za www.wellnesswarehouse.com www.takealot.com For more information and visit www.kabrita.co.za and follow @kabrita_sa on Facebook and Instagram. #GoatieGoodness #KabritaSA

March 8, 2019

The UK’s No.1 sensitive toiletries brand for babies & children, now available in SA

The brand’s range of bath, skin and hair care products are currently available in 117 Clicks stores and 33 Baby City stores across SA as well as online via takealot.com. The launch is the latest development in a period of extraordinary growth for the brand, which was founded in 2011 by entrepreneur Joanna Jensen and is already established as the UK’s largest baby and child toiletries brand, after Johnson’s Baby. The brand has seen triple-digit growth every year for the last seven years in the UK. Sales have been bolstered by its hero product, a baby moisturiser, which has led to a bottle of Childs Farm being sold every 14 seconds in the UK. The brand attributes its phenomenal success to advocacy from real mums. Sales of the baby moisturiser have skyrocketed after social media reviews from satisfied customers went viral, prompting product enquiries to flood in from across the world, including South Africa. Childs Farm’s product range, which includes moisturisers, bubble baths, shampoos and sun care, is specially designed for all skin types, and is dermatologist- and paediatrician-approved for use on sensitive and eczema-prone skin. Products don’t contain any parabens, SLSs, mineral oils or artificial colours and the majority contain over 98% (by volume) naturally derived ingredients. Speaking about Childs Farm’s international expansion, founder and CEO Joanna Jensen said, “We’ve seen a huge growth of the business in the UK since the launch due to the high consumer demand for our products, predominantly driven through word of mouth recommendation. This demand has now reached International markets, so the natural next step for us is to launch into new markets where we’re seeing this demand for our products. I’m really excited about the recent launch in South Africa as part of our International expansion strategy. South Africa represents a huge opportunity for us to reach more parents and caregivers of little ones who are looking for a kinder, milder alternatives to brands already on the market that at the same time are fun for children to use. We have recently expanded our team in order to manage the growth, and support our international expansion plans. It’s a really exciting time for the brand.” Childs Farm products are currently available in Baby City, Clicks stores and via takealot.com. Prices range from R99 to R119.99, with a range of over 15 different products to choose from. For more information on Childs Farm products visit www.childsfarm.com or the local Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/childsfarmsouthafrica/

March 8, 2019

Help your child develop with a balanced lifestyle

Today, more and more children are expected to do more and perform better. However, parents need to remember that children still need time to play in order to develop at various levels. The more pressure is placed on children to perform beyond expectations, the less time remains for them to just be a child. It is imperative that children develop optimally with a balanced lifestyle and that they are not placed under unnecessary pressure. In the 21st century, time has become a valuable commodity. Due to everyone’s fast-paced lifestyles, it has become almost normal not to have enough time in the day. Children are getting more and more homework and some parents are unnecessarily pressuring children to spend more time in front of the books in an effort to ensure that their children perform well above average. And if that is not enough, children are also expected to be involved in a wide variety of extracurricular activities. Parents should help their children to develop according to their own abilities, and not according to the parents’ abilities or their unreasonably high expectations of their children. Children learn to use their imagination and to think independently through play, while persistent pressure to perform creates the illusion that competition and performance are essential to function in society. This also puts unnecessary strain on children to always meet other people’s expectations. Children should, however, be taught that participation in activities is important for individual and social development, but they must also learn that winning is not always everything. They don’t have to be the best, as long as they give their personal best and have fun. This sometimes entails being a good loser and seeing life as a continuous growth and learning process. How can parents help their children cultivate a balanced lifestyle? Children need to get enough sleep to function optimally at school and at home. It’s important for children to start settling down at least one hour before bedtime. Parents should teach children healthy eating habits that will promote their health and wellbeing. Cultivate responsibility early on: Teach children how to do their own homework, but still give appropriate guidance when necessary. Help your child plan his/her day. Motivate children to participate in physical activities or to play outside instead of playing with their cellphones or sitting in front of the TV all day. Cancel some of your child’s extracurricular activities if your child is always tired, irritable and teary – as these are often signs of burnout. Don’t expect your child to make your lost dreams come true. As a parent you want to give your child the best. Isn’t it just to enjoy their childhood for as long as possible? Or to develop their own potential and maintain a good balance in life? Primary education should therefore cultivate happy children who are willing to develop themselves continuously through a balanced lifestyle. Written by Ilse Stickling – Subject Specialist: History at Impaq

March 8, 2019

CHICCO POCKET SNACK CHAIR

A fantastic booster seat that suits baby’s needs as they start developing independence and more refined eating skills, the Chicco Pocket Snack Booster Chair is a sturdy, funky and completely compact piece of furniture that baby can own all for themselves. Easily slipped into any chair, the Pocket Snack provides height for the child and allows them to celebrate meal times with the family. Made from durable plastic, the chair is easily wiped down to avoid stains and can be adjusted as your child grows. The perfect solution for home or being out and about, the chair even has a safety harness to secure a wriggly child. Chair comes with a removable tray and a handle to carry about with ease. Available in SA in dark grey, modern mint and lime, the Easy Snack goes for approximately R699 at all leading retailers and online portals.

March 7, 2019

The Ultimate Feeding Guide For Babies

Finding a black and white feeding guide for babies is a difficult thing to do. All children develop at different rates, meaning that there definitely isn’t a one size fits all when it comes to feeding suggestions. However, this post should help you get a clear indication of the general baby feeding habits to expect throughout the first year of your child’s life. The Beginning: Birth – 4 m/o During this time, your baby’s little digestive system will still be developing within. The first five days post birth are critical for you and your child. However, the first two weeks have the most frequent notable developments in their digestive system. Day 1: Your baby’s stomach will roughly only be the size of a cherry. This means he or she will only be able to hold about 5ml – 7ml of fluid inside at a given time. Therefore, if you are not producing copious amounts of milk, don’t stress. Your body will match milk production to your baby’s feeding needs. Day 3: Your baby’s tummy will now have grown to roughly the size of a walnut. They will now be able to ingest between 22ml – 27ml of fluid per feed and can be expected to feed between 8 – 10 times a day. Day 7: Your baby’s tummy will now have grown to the size of an apricot, meaning it can hold between 45ml – 60ml of fluid. Day 14: Your little one has now developed to their final phase of initial digestive development. Their tummy should now hold between 80ml – 150ml of fluid and be about the size of an egg. You can expect roughly nine diapers through the day during this time; six wet diapers and three bowl movement diapers. From week four towards the six month mark, you can expect your baby’s eating habits to remain relatively similar. However, once they reach six months, this is where things start to get interesting! The Introduction To Solids: 6 m/o – 8 m/o During this time, your child will begin to show signs of readiness for solids. Now’s the time to start slowly introducing them to certain solid foods whilst still breastfeeding. Here are some foods to include in your baby’s diet: A selection of pureed foods including: Meats Vegetables Fruits Breastmilk Semi-liquid baby cereal Now That You Have A General Feeding Guide For Babies From the 8 month mark, you can begin to introduce smaller bits of whole foods such a cereals and meats cut into bite sized pieces. We suggest breastfeeding your baby I conjunction with solids for at least 24 months post birth.

March 7, 2019

The Twistshake Divide Plate: Everything You Need To Know About This Product

The Twistshake Divide Plate is a must have for all moms and dads out there. This product works closely in connection with the Twistshake Mini Click Mat, which we have also reviewed this month. Take a look at why this a must have for your baby’s meal times and what makes up this ingenious product. The Twistshake Divide Plate Features The plate has been designed with anti-slip, meaning that it slips minimally on whatever table surface it is placed on The product is free from all harmful materials such as BPS, BPA and BPF The divides allow you to easily work out your baby’s portion sizes This product is both microwave and dish washer safe The ingenious Twistclick function allows you to easily stack and store, or transport, multiple divide plates More About The Twistshake Divide Plate As you can see above, there are a lot of great features which come with this plate. However, it offers more than just eating ease. Thanks to the design, the Twistshake Divide Plate also minimalizes the mess made during meal times. Thanks to the anti-slip functionality of the plate, the likelihood of it sliding around the surface of the table is reduces phenomenally. However, when you pair it with the Twistshake Mini Click Mat, things become even more secure. The plate has the Twistclick ability to secure to the click mat. This means that it cannot be picked up by your baby. The Twistclick functionality also allows the plates to be stacked on top of one another. This reduces your storage space dramatically. This also makes for easy transport if you need to pack a meal for your little one on the go. Free from all harmful materials, and being dishwasher and microwave safe, this little plate is a must have for all moms and dads. Get yours now!

March 7, 2019

Getting your teen to communicate

One of the most common issues presented to counsellors and psychologists by desperate parents. Part of the problem is that we tend to look back on our own teenage years with rose-tinted glasses, refusing to believe that we were ever like this, choosing instead to blame tangible differences such as smartphones. While technology has certainly shifted the dynamic, it cannot be held to account for a breakdown of communication that occurs when the phones are in bags or pockets…so what then can be held to account? The answer, in short, is science. Sarah-Jayne Blakemore, a cognitive neuroscientist from University College London, UK, used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to scan the brains of adolescents and adults while they were questioned relating to decision-making. The study showed that teenagers rely on an area of the brain called the superior temporal sulcus, whereas adults use the front part, called the prefrontal cortex. The superior temporal sulcus processes very basic behavioural actions, while the prefrontal cortex is involved in complex functions such as processing how decisions affect other people. Blakemore also asked participants to make decisions about other people’s welfare and timed how long it took them to respond. She found that the response time got shorter as the participants got older, suggesting that the older people found it easier to put themselves in “other people’s shoes.” So now what do we do? We can blame science for the differences we encounter but those differences do not lessen just because we know they exist. The secret is a strategy. By employing these tips, you may find your child opening up a little more. These tips aren’t necessarily easy to put into place, but they are undoubtedly worth the effort. Avoid saying “I understand but…” Just by using that phrase, you are demonstrating a lack of understanding (in your child’s eyes). Try to put yourself in their shoes first and try to avoid the defence mechanisms flaring up. Avoid tricks or loaded questions. If you know that dishonesty in conduct was involved, do not pretend otherwise to try to trick your child into a confession. It is better to be upfront with the truth you know, as teenagers tend to see through ‘ruses’ very easily. Ask questions from a place of curiosity. Your questions should not be preludes to a lecture. Ask questions such as “If you did x, what do you think would be the consequence, as opposed to if you did y?” Try to understand their reasoning processes by encouraging critical thinking so that they can find their own way through – with your guidance if need be. Wait for the calm after the storm. Do not confuse listening to conversation. Often parents complain that their children do not ever want to talk to them when what they mean is their children do not like to listen when they are lectured at, rather than conversed with. Avoid going on the offensive or the defensive. As soon as either party feels accused, the conversation breaks down. Make the point once, not five times. We often speak a lot more than we need to, using analogies and repetition to reinforce a point. Think about how it feels for you in the work boardroom and apply it to the kitchen table. You do not need to act like a friend. Using teenage jargon is more likely to deepen the gap than lessen it. Watch your language. Negatives can creep in without us meaning for them too. Your language often reflects your concerns but being mindful of this can prevent it. For example, avoid using words like “never”. Telling your child that they “never” talk to you will make it true. Rephrasing it into a positive such as, “I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me about your day” is more likely to prompt similar behaviour in the future. Avoid minimising their problems. Things that comfort adults, like the fact that “this won’t matter a year from now” does not comfort your teenager. This only creates a sense of isolation. The fact that it matters now is their reality, despite what you may know through life experience to be the logical truth. Adjust your expectations if the situation calls for it. If your child has demonstrated responsibility and maturity, you may wish to make a curfew later, for example. Choose your battles. This adage is a cliché for a reason. If you are going to create an argument, rather argue over an issue of safety (such as getting into a drunk person’s car) rather than the state of a bedroom where the clothes do not seem to make it into the cupboard. Give advice when it is asked for – but keep your wisdom to yourself if it is not. Sometimes it is more valuable to let a mistake be made and subsequently learnt from than to deliver unsolicited advice. Watch out for complaining. Every single time we, as adults, complain about our work, our marriage, the commute etc., we are indirectly communicating that being an adult, in short, sucks. Maybe it does, but this invalidates anything we want to communicate to our children regarding advice or input. They see us as not being the best sources of advice because we indicate that we are not happy ourselves. Develop consequences with your child’s input. Jointly decide on a structure of “punishments to fit the crime” and negotiate until you find a middle ground. Teenagers are more likely to buy into disciplinary systems when they had a hand in creating them in the first place. You may even wish to introduce the idea of ‘parole’, where they can work off the consequence according to what was agreed on in advance. This allows them to demonstrate good behaviour and work off their consequences earlier, thus reinforcing good behaviour. References: https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/better-communication-with-teens#1 http://understandingteenagers.com.au/blog/5-mistakes-adults-make-communicating-with-teenagers/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rediscovering-love/201110/bionic-teens-effective-communication-techniques https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10030-why-adolescents-put-themselves-first/

March 6, 2019

Raising a Science Lover

We often think that science is reserved for high school children and that not all children will be able to excel in science or even enjoy it. This is not the case at all. In world driven by scientific and technological advancements, it’s essential to introduce our children to science from a young age. Inspiring a child to question and test is a large and fun part of learning about the world. After all, science is not about knowing, but rather a journey of discovering. Unfortunately, a lot of parents feel underqualified to take this journey with their children, especially those without any formal training in scientific fields. The good news is you do not need any special skills or training to raise a science lover! Here are few tips to inspire you: 1. Questions, questions, questions….. One of the fundamental aspects of science is asking questions. Encourage them. How does this work? Why did that happen? What is this? These questions may already sound familiar to you as children are naturally curious. We need to encourage children to ask these questions and give them the tools and resources to find the answers. 2. Explore together Visits to the museum, botanical gardens, observatory, and even the local park can be full of interesting subjects for discussion and study. Make notes, take pictures, make drawings of your findings, and revisit them when you get home. You could even combine scientific exploration with your next holiday! 3. Give boys and girls equal exposure and encouragement We often want to fix things and solve problems for girls without including them in the process. The scientific process knows no gender, and girls and boys are equally suited and interested in learning. Make sure to provide equal opportunity for learning by getting girls involved in activities that may not be traditionally girl-orientated and vice versa. 4. Be patient Allow your child to explore, experiment, and observe at their own pace. It’s also important for them to fail occasionally and try again. Our instincts are often to jump in and help at the first sign of a struggle, but this is counter productive. 5. Get the resources Try to provide as many reference books, activity books, online tutorials, and tools* as possible. Easy access to these resources makes learning easy and effortless. After an outing or a discussion, go to your resources and look up all the things you’ve seen and spoken about. This provides an opportunity for further learning and also extends the time spent on science-related activities. 6. Be prepared for some mess Science can get messy! Make sure your child feels comfortable to experiment and allow her to make a mess in the name of science. As long as it is constructive mess, it’s worth the clean-up. Old clothes, an apron, and a plastic table cloth also help. 7. Listen to your child Give your child space to voice her opinion. Try to understand what they are observing and thinking and allow them to explain to you. You could find that you are looking at the same object but seeing completely different things. *A microscope is an invaluable tool to encourage exploration and deepen learning. You can get an ultra-affordable origami-inspired Foldscope online from www.scibuddy.co.za. Foldscopes are durable, easy-to-use, and portable, with 140× magnification. They are available as individual kits or classroom kits containing 20 or 100 units. Deluxe Individual Kits contain an extensive set of accessories to collect specimens and prepare slides. These kits are packaged in a beautiful metal case making it easy for little explorers to keep their Foldscope close at hand. SciBuddy is the exclusive distributor of Foldscopes in South Africa. The owner, Arista Burke, has a background in microbiology and education. She believes that Foldscopes will be a gamechanger for South African children. To find out more about SciBuddy and Foldscope, visit www.scibuddy.co.za or their Facebook page, www.facebook.com/SciBuddySA.

March 6, 2019

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