Parenting - Parenting Hub

Advice from the experts

Start the online adventure together with your child

UNICEF South Africa released a study that 70% of children surveyed use the Internet without parental consent. “The Disrupting Harm Study released in 2022 showed that 70% of children surveyed in South Africa use the Internet without parental consent and risky online behaviour can expose them to online violence, exploitation, and abuse. The online world is also increasingly intertwined with everyday life offline.” Having an open relationship with your child’s online behaviour has been identified as a core pillar to protecting them when they go online. As parents, we can monitor their activity, we do have eyes at the back of our heads. We can implement child-friendly browsers on our devices, and we can even set an alarm clock to stop their time online and set boundaries. All of these are great and should be done to protect your child when they go online. Thanks to many hours of global best practice research and 20 years of digital and parenting experience, this program was designed to protect their own child and others like him. Social Kids is dedicated to educating children to self-regulate, self-recognise, communicate, and educate parents on how to manage this maze of information. The parental guides have been designed in a way that makes it easy to navigate, and we’ve collated global best practices and professional advice, to give parents a concise summary of how to protect their children and keep the conversations going well into their teens. Twenty minutes a week, with your child over 5 weeks, is all it will take. If you don’t have the time Miss Nadie and Codey have dedicated jump in and out supervised online classes every day of the week, to help you out when things get busy. Can you afford not to start the conversations now, while they will still want to listen to you? Register today. https://bit.ly/3njBqid

September 18, 2023

Imposing Expectations On Your Children

Many of my clients come to me complaining that their children simply do not do what they’re told, are unmanageable, and are following the ‘wrong’ path in life. What this tells me is a lot about the parent, and very little indeed about the child. We all give away through they way that we speak and the things that we focus on what is important to us. But how often do we stop to find out what is important to someone else, particularly with our children. As much as we have hopes and desires for our kids, they have these for themselves too. What we tend to do is praise and emphasise those things that they love that fit in with our own priorities for them and ignore or ridicule those that are outside of our own value system. In doing so we impose our own set of values and dreams onto our children and then wonder why they eventually rebel and become totally in-compliant. Most parents, if they took the time and care to notice, would find it easy to tell you what is important to their kids, and yet they place very little importance on this themselves. When we stop to respect our children as real, complete human beings as they are, we enter a whole new world of relationship with them. Think about it – you wouldn’t tell your friends what job they should do or who they should be friends with or what they should be eating for dinner, right? Understanding your children’s dreams, goals and priorities instead of ignoring them can actually make your parenting journey much easier. Whatever it is that you want them to do, you simply find a way to link it to what is already important to them. For example if you want your child to bath and their highest priority is to play, then instead of saying “get in the bath now”, say “it’s time to go and play in the bath – which toys would you like to bring?” Or, for example, if you want your child to eat vegetables and their highest priority is dinosaurs, then call the broccoli “dinosaur trees” or talk about which dinosaurs would have eaten each part of the meal that is currently on their plate. If you want your soccer star to focus more on maths, point out how by learning maths he will have an advantage over the other players by understanding how to score goals by focusing on the angle between himself, the ball and the net. It may take a bit of time and practice, but I guarantee that linking what your child loves to everything they need to do makes parenting easier in the long run. Children feel heard and understood and they see that you are respecting what is important to them. They see the connections between what you want them to do and what they want for themselves instead of seeing your view as an imposition. I believe that every human being, regardless of their age, should have their values and dreams respected. The sooner that parents and teachers stop imposing their views onto the children in their care and instead link their values to those of the kids, the sooner we’ll find happy children, living their dreams AND complying with their caregivers.

September 13, 2023

Are you functioning on autopilot?

They say half of the time we function on autopilot whilst 90% of our purchasing decisions are done on autopilot. In other words we are not consciously thinking about what we are doing or why we are doing those things. They have become habitual. For example: Think about when you brush your teeth or your morning routine each day when you wake up. The route you drive to or from home and work each day. Have there been times when you can’t remember how you got to a place or walked into a room and forgot what you were going to do? This is because we are not consciously thinking about our actions and thoughts – we are on autopilot. This happens daily with tasks we perform, the way we interact with others, our reactions, our behaviours, things we hold onto from the past and even some of our beliefs. It has become so ingrained in us over the years that we have not stopped to consider whether those things are still relevant, serve us positively or whether there is possibly something new or different we could consider instead. We lose out on so much as we are unaware of what is going on around us. We miss the signs and messages – both verbal and non-verbal. A wounded glance, reactive tone of voice, hurt eyes, dejected or closed off body language. We even miss the beauty in everything due to our presence being elsewhere instead of enjoying the moment for what it is – the here and now. Living mindfully present is important to the quality of the lives we live. Being mindful of our own thoughts, actions and behaviours and the impact they have on others around us. Being fully present in the moment and giving others our undivided attention and efforts is a gift. So how do we become more mindful? It’s a daily practice that takes time to master and should be viewed as learning a new skill just the same as learning to read or write. It starts with becoming aware of our own ‘self’ – how we talk to ourselves, the words we use, the language we speak. Often we are our own worst critic and berate ourselves harshly. The more we tell ourselves stories, the stronger they become until they take on a life of their own and become the path we live by. When our self awareness grows, we become aware of our own thoughts and behaviours as well as the impact we are having on others and they are having on us. In other words we are fully present in the moment and aware of what we are doing as well as of what is happening around us. We can sense when we are not being authentic and sincere just as much as we can sense when others are not. Yet often we choose to ignore this. We know when we are being true to ourselves and living our truth vs. compromising our own values and personal boundaries and the consequences that come with this. Some like to mediate, others like to unwind in the mountains or near the sea whilst some like to partake in an activity – each with the purpose of connecting us to ourselves, feeding our soul and feeling alive, like we have a purpose. It does not matter what you do so long as you do it. With a heightened sense of awareness, we are able to be more creative, positive, solution oriented, peace loving and kind for the benefit of all and mankind. Reflection time: Can you think of words or phrases you often use when speaking to or about yourself? Are they positive and uplifting or critical and faultfinding? Can you remember a situation where you may not have been fully present and aware of your actions? If you think back to that time now, can you see the different ways your actions may have been interpreted by others? Would your actions have a positive or negative impact on others? Is there one thing you can start doing differently today to raise your levels of self awareness? Look for the good and positive in everyone and every situation because it is there if you dare to try. The intention we set for ourselves is the intention by which we live and treat others. Make yours a positive and uplifting one.

September 13, 2023

Aftercare or aupair?

Weighing up the best after-school option for your child “Mothers staying at home with their children is simply no longer the viable option of years past,” says Tiffiny Thomas from Blue Bird Aupairs. As a result, parents are left with the critical decision of what to do with their precious assets in the afternoons – do they send them to aftercare or do they get an aupair? “There is no black and white when it comes to choosing an after-school solution for your child as things like budget, schedules, ages and personality need to be taken into consideration,” explains Tiffiny. She adds that even once you have made your decision, circumstances may change and you may need to seek the alternative which is why it is important to keep an open mind and make sure that you know what the pros and cons of each option are. Aftercare Pros Children get to interact with their friends in an informal surrounding If the aftercare is part of the school, they can take part in extra-mural school sports Food and snacks are generally included in the cost of aftercare If the aftercare is based at their school, your child will not have to travel on the roads without you Aftercare cons Very little (or no) supervised homework which then needs to be done in the evenings when your child is tired and less likely to concentrate Aftercare generally does not cover school holidays A full day at school can leave your child irritable and exhausted No personal, hands-on love and care Pros of an aupair Your child will get plenty of one-on-one love, care and attention An aupair can do homework with your child and spend extra time of subjects they may battle with, doubling up as a tutor Aupairs can transport your child to and from various after-school activities, which is a great help for parents (and children) with busy or unpredictable schedules and extra-mural activities that are off campus An aupair can double up as a baby sitter during the holidays Cons of an aupair It can take time for your child to get to know your aupair Not all aupairs have formal early childhood training You will need to make sure that the fridge is stocked up for afternoon lunches and be prepared to pay for other additional costs like petrol “It is important to remember that no two aftercares (or aupairs!) are the same!” says Tiffiny. She adds that you should ask lots of questions for clarity and also make sure that you align your budget in terms of what you are able/willing to spend on a monthly basis for after-school care. “Both options can be affordable, provided you shop around,” she concludes.

September 12, 2023

How to improve your Child’s Decision-Making skills

What is Decision-Making? Decision making is an invaluable skill, especially when your children start to make independent choices. It is an ability that benefits throughout their lives. More often, it will be their independent choices which will determine the course of their lives. Decision-making is about assessing all the options available, being aware of the situation within and around you. Thus, for children to become good at decision-making, they need to learn how to assess the possibilities, be self-aware about what they need, and understand the situation they are in. For many people, both young and adults making a decision is one of the hardest and complicated things in life, as it involves numerous aspects for consideration. Many times due to a lack of self-awareness, people remain confused throughout their lives and often end up making poor choices. Considering the dynamic environment of the 21st Century and exposure to technology from an early age, thus instilling the quality of making good decisions among children is imperative. Every small or big decision an individual makes has the potential to change his/her life. “Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision. “- Tony Robbins (American Author, Coach, Speaker) What are the essential skills for effective decision-making? The ability to make sound decisions requires a wide variety of skills. Below are the skills that are crucial to make your child an effective Decision-maker: Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ability to think judiciously and reasonably without being affected by anything or anyone. It is an art of analyzing something with an unbiased mindset. Effective decision-making requires critical thinking over all the possible alternatives. Individuals need to analyze the cause and effect relationship to ensure that the selected alternative has minimum or no negative impacts. Critical Thinking will enable your child to make an informed decision. Problem-Solving: Problem-solving is the ability to solve problems effectively. Problem-solving skills are the basis for improvement and innovation. Children need to incorporate problem-solving skills to become a good decision-maker. Problem solving also requires critical thinking, but in addition, it is also about understanding the problem. As often, the solution is hidden within the problem itself. Creativity: Creativity is all about mixing originality with uniqueness. Creative Thinking helps us to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, decisions are to be made regarding such aspects where there is no way to know which possibility or decision is the right one. Creativity will enable your child to make sound decisions in unforeseen situations. When the logical or traditional aspects do not make sense, it is the creativity of a person that comes into play. It can be an out-of-the-box idea or an unorthodox approach to seeing things from a different perspective. “Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking.”- Malcolm Gladwell Logical Reasoning: Reasoning is concerned with analyzing a problem in a logical manner to draw conclusions. It helps to identify the reason behind anything and approach towards our assessment of things logically. Sound decisions are an outcome of logical reasoning. Reasoning will help your child to assess the pros and cons of the decision they intend to make. Thinking logically and reasonably ensures that foolish options are set aside straightaway during the decision-making process. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage our emotions and the ability to understand and influence others’ emotions. Life is uncertain and unpredictable. There are times when we have to make hard decisions. This is when emotional Intelligence plays its role. Emotional Intelligence will help your children to manage their sentiments while making harsh decisions. Time Management: Time management is the ability to prioritize activities based on the available time. There are times when the decision is required to be taken time bound as well. In such a situation, the assessment of possible options, understanding of the situation, etc. is to be done within that time frame. When a child knows how to manage his/her time, the ability to take time-bound decisions improves. How can you improve Decision-making skills? Decision-making is one of the most significant and beneficial life skills in the 21st Century. Acquiring Decision-making skills also contributes to improving a child’s leadership ability. Decisions can transform our lives beyond imagination. Therefore, you must help your child in developing decision-making skills. Encourage Decision Making: During the day to day life, you can get multiple situations when you can allow your child to make a decision. The more opportunity a child will get to make decisions; the more his/her decision-making skills will improve. Ask Questions: Talk to your children about their thought process behind making a decision. See how they are evaluating various possibilities, in case you see one or more possibility was ignored, then ask them ‘what if this happened?’ Pay attention to how they respond and guide them in those aspects where there is a need for improvement. Discuss Your Process of Decision Making: Share with your children an incident of your life where you had to make a tough decision. Explain to them what was going on in your mind, what were the different aspects you took into consideration, etc. This way, they would feel more comfortable asking you for guidance for any of their decision. Involvement: If a certain situation in your house requires a decision to be made, make your children part of the discussion. The more involved they become, the more connected they would feel with the situation, putting them in a mindset of thinking and assessing the situation. More importantly, they would also learn from you, and they might even give you some valuable points to consider. “Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” – Jun Camp The world needs proficient Decision-makers for a bright future. Developing this skill within a child from an early age is crucial for the overall development. Creating a better generation then themselves is a responsibility of each generation. And this responsibility starts with parents itself.

September 11, 2023

Bedtime – How much sleep should your child be getting?

More and more research points towards the importance of sleep for children’s health, academic performance, and behaviour. Although this may seem apparent, many of us actually do not allow our children to get the critical sleep they need to develop and function properly. It’s certainly not something we do on purpose. But with parents working long hours, packed school schedules, after-school activities, and other lifestyle factors, naps are missed, bedtimes are pushed back, mornings start earlier and nights may be anything but peaceful. Missing naps or going to bed a little late may not seem like a big deal, but it all adds up, with consequences that may last a lifetime. “Sleep is the power source that keeps your mind alert and calm. It recharges your brain’s battery, increasing one’s brainpower and attention span, as well as allowing you to be physically relaxed and mentally alert at the same time. Then and only then can you function at your personal best.” as stated by Paediatrician Marc Weissbluth. Signs of sleep-related problems may show up in a number of ways with kids, including daytime sleepiness, weakened immune systems, inattention, poor concentration, moodiness, behavioural problems, weight gain, irregular social skills and poor academic performance. According to Dr Avi Sadeh, a loss of one hour of sleep is equivalent to the loss of two years of cognitive maturation and development. To understand the critical nature of sleep to our children’s growth and development, let’s take a look at the essentials needed for healthy sleep and what interventions we can put in place in our homes to encourage better sleep routines. Essentials of Healthy Sleep Healthy sleep allows for optimal alertness when we are awake. This is the state in which we are most receptive to and interactive with our environment – when our attention span is at its best and the most learning can occur. You can see this in a child who is calm and attentive, pleasant, wide eyed, absorbing everything, and socially interacts with ease. Altered states of alertness interfere with a child’s learning and behaviour. Healthy sleep thus requires: Sufficient amounts of sleep to grow, develop, and function optimally. How much is right for your child varies by age. Uninterrupted (good quality) sleep allows good growth and development of the body’s nervous system. The proper number of age-appropriate naps optimize alertness, learning and development. Naps serve a different purpose to that of night time sleep, but are as important. Thus timing is essential, making sure they are planned and in sync with your child’s natural biological rhythms. A sleep schedule that is in sync with the child’s natural biological rhythms(internal clock or circadian rhythm). This allows for effective restoration and long term memory development, but being out of sync can lead to difficulty falling asleep or simply staying awake. Children then become overly tired and stressed. So it is important your child’s sleep needs are met and that you adjust your schedule to be in sync with theirs. If, over time, any of these essentials are not optimal, symptoms of sleep deprivation and fatigue may occur. How can we help our kids get the proper amount of sleep? Limit bedtime activities- a routine of relaxing activities like reading or listening to classical music can help most children sleep better. Make sure all electronics are removed to avoid further stimulation. Establish a sleep schedule- similar to routine activities, experts recommend consistent times to go to sleep and wake, ideally not differing much during the week or on weekends. Create a Conducive Environment- children will sleep faster and deeper when the room is dark, quiet and cool. Promote Regular Exercise- A minimum of 60 minutes of physical activity for children each day can yield many benefits, including better sleep. Limit Caffeine- it’s advisable to limit all forms of caffeine, particularly late in the day, which includes tea, soda and chocolate. Avoid late afternoon or Early Evening naps- later naps can result in later bedtimes and less critical sleep for older children. As parents, it is our responsibility to be sensitive to and protect our children’s sleep, just as we do their safety. We are primarily responsible for their sleep habits so it is important to start healthy ones early; it is much easier to instil good habits than correct bad ones. Thus infuse the importance of sleep with daily attention to it and you will likely have a happier, self-assured, less demanding, and more sociable child. And who knows, you might just get some more sleep yourself! Written By: Danielle Forsyth (Trinityhouse Heritage Hill, Educational Psychologist)

September 11, 2023

Supporting Your Child’s Free Play

Play skills, similar to other developmental skills, progress in complexity with time and practice. Caregiver support and their role in nurturing a child’s free play skills changes and evolves throughout the play stages. Free play allows for the development of various physical, cognitive, language and socio-emotional skills, but also contributes greatly to children’s health and well-being. Free play, with minimal adult interference, will provide them with the opportunity to work on various skills including: problem solving, creative thinking, flexible thinking, initiative and grit, self-regulation skills, working memory, sustained focus, physicality and can provide them with an opportunity to have some quiet time to soothe and calm themselves. Free play with a playmate can further see them developing various socio-emotional skills including: self-expression, negotiation, compromise, perspective taking and empathy. Important skills for the future, wouldn’t you say…? Some children are natural players, skilled at independent free play and can shift easily between free play, screens and other home activities and tasks. Other children, however, may need more support and guidance to help them to play more independently and become captains of their own play adventures. During free play a child can create, direct and adapt the play activity and play script as they engage in their play adventure. Free play is intrinsically motivated, spontaneous, not limited by a certain set of rules or directives and not necessarily reality bound. If you have a little one that requires support in developing their free play skills, have a look at some of my top tips for free play: Make free play part of your daily routine. Create a safe and calm play space, preferably screen free, that won’t interfere with the flow of their play. Don’t overwhelm with too many toys and objects. Rotate items in boxes and containers, keep a few favourites close and include open ended toys and objects, such as wooden blocks or empty boxes. After your child chooses a play prompt (or you have provided them with a few choices), allow them time and space for their idea to form. Don’t be too quick to offer your own ideas and try to limit the “adult agenda” when it comes to free play. Offer encouragement and support, but try not to ask too many questions at the start while their idea is developing. Children need a longer time to process information and for their ideas to take shape. Asking too many questions too early on may discourage them. For more tips, information and demonstrations on developing and supporting play throughout the play stages as well as other areas of child development, come join our online PlayMore platform. Visit: www.playmoreot.com or our social media platforms @playmoreot on Instagram and Playmoreot on Facebook for more information. Let’s PlayMore! Anandé from PlayMore

September 7, 2023

Choosing a Baby Sitter

Choosing a baby sitter for your children can be a very daunting task. You need to find someone trustworthy, who is the right fit for your children.

September 6, 2023

Help! My child has no friends

We all have a need to love and be loved. Our lives feel happier and more fulfilled when we enjoy positive human relationships. Having friends who we can laugh and cry with, be serious or a little crazy with, and with whom we can feel completely comfortable is one of the most fundamentally important needs of the human race. This is why it feels so heart-breaking when we discover that our children may be struggling to make friends at school. Cindy Glass, Co-founder and Director of afterschool remediation franchise, Step Up Education Centre says “There are a number of reasons why a child may struggle to form positive friendships – negative behavioural choices, low self-esteem, personality differences, differing belief systems and unintentionally negative body language or tone of voice. Escapism from social interactions through over-use of technology also plays a big role in this!” “We need to note that all behavioural choices are based on how we feel about ourselves as a person and the inevitable fears that dominate these beliefs. Creating meaningful personal relationships is rooted in positive self-belief. Negative, self-defeating thoughts and behaviours often repel friendships and, unfortunately, this re-enforces the feelings of unworthiness and low self-value that created the negative behaviours in the first place” Cindy goes on to say. If your child is struggling to form friendships, you may want to consider the following helpful tips: 1. Ensure that you keep the lines of non-judgemental communication open. Chat about what happens at school, openly and honestly. Emotional intelligence skills of self-awareness and self-regulation are key here! Make sure that you do not re-enforce your child’s belief that he/she is less! Focus on their strengths and what others will like about them. They may, indeed, be a little different, but never less! 2. Chat to your child’s teacher with the aim of gaining a deeper understanding of your child’s behaviours at school. 3. Friendships cannot be forced. It takes positive mind-set and behavioural changes in your child if changes are to be enjoyed at school. Teach your child to focus on his/her choices and not on the choices of others. It takes patience and time but you will be amazed at the results! 4. People enjoy the company of positive happy individuals. Teach your child the joys of uplifting others. This will change the energy that your child gives off and other children will start looking to your child for a friendship that feels good to be in. 5. Emotional intelligence’s empathy and social skills will play a vital role in changing the way your child perceives himself/herself to be. Invest in these courses! “Finally, remember that children copy your actions, not your words! Set the example of how to treat others in positive, uplifting ways. Teach your children to own who they are-mistakes and all- and to value others because they value themselves first!” Cindy concludes.

September 6, 2023

Why offering choices is important

One of the best ways to build up a sense of independence is to make choices. When we make our own choices, we feel some sense of control. With frequent opportunities to make our own decisions we begin to think of ourselves as ‘in power’ of at least parts of our lives. The same rings true for our youngsters. Making choices is not just an essential life skill for them, but Dr Erin Leyba says it builds respect, strengthens community, invites cooperation, develops problem-solving skills and capitalises on children’s basic human need to feel in control. How do we go about creating confident decision makers? It is a question of practice makes perfect. As many skills, you do not achieve success in the first round. By including simple choices throughout the day, your toddler will learn that he can have a say in what he chooses to eat for snack time (would you like an apple or banana?) or what to wear to school (would you like to wear the green or blue sweater today?). Here are a few golden rules to consider as you work your way to a stress-free day and empower your child to make choices on the road to becoming a confident decision maker: Choices must be limited. Offering too many options may create anxiety therefore keep it simple. Certain routine tasks are tricky especially when it comes to brushing teeth. Offer them a choice of toothbrush: would you like to use the green dinosaur or your shaking Spiderman toothbrush? Strawberry flavoured or minty toothpaste today? Sometimes adults need to tell children that there is no choice. When safety or health is at risk, it is important for the adult to say, “Choosing not to brush your teeth is not an option.” Choices must be honoured. Do not offer a choice that you cannot honour. The choices must be authentic. If you offer your two children an option of two stories, inevitably, one will choose the first story and the other child will choose the second story. This is not what you need at the end of the long day. Resolve this by offering each child the choice of story on alternate nights. Avoid being too indulgent and child-centered. “Anything you want my darling” does not offer a child sufficient boundaries that they require to feel safe which in turn is essential to developing self-assurance. As parents we are exhausted at the end of the day, it might feel like you have been in a boxing ring with your toddler. Offer them choices that will make them feel empowered and make feel like their opinions and feelings are of significance. By Bonita Nel, teacher at Pecanwood College

September 5, 2023

QUICK TIPS FOR ENGAGING THE OLDEST CHILD

When the new baby comes home, the joy and excitement can lead to the first born child (or even just older children) feeling somewhat “dethroned” and ignored. When this occurs, it is common to see changes in that child’s behaviour; they may begin to feel jealousy toward the new arrival and in some cases, may even strike out to hurt them. Others may simulate being a baby once again by crying, talking ‘baby talk,’ and even having wetting accidents. Your challenge is to find creative ways for oldest children to feel different from their siblings and to develop a sense of value to the family by implementing the following ideas: The first tip is the BIG BROTHER or BIG SISTER buttons available at most party supply stores. They were intended to make the first born child feel special when the new baby comes home, but I love the idea so much I encourage parents to use it beyond just that one special time. Find creative ways for the oldest child to assist with the new sibling, but never leave them alone with the baby. They may be able to sing to the baby, help with the bath, or be helpful in collecting items needed for the baby’s care at the moment. Carve out time to have one-on-one time alone with the other child(ren). Set up visual schedules or timers so the older child can have something to watch for to know when their special time is approaching. You may even want to consider having special toys that only come out when mom must attend to the baby. Explore holding family meetings once a week, especially if you have school age children or older. It will promote a sense of importance among all the children and will help them feel a greater sense of respect from the parent(s). The meetings can be held on the same night of the week and everyone should be included. If one person leaves the meeting, it’s over until the next meeting. Other tips for the family meeting include keeping them brief, making them fun, and being consistent, especially if some of your children are younger. It is helpful to have everyone sitting in a circle and do your best to avoid answering the door or telephone. Doing so sends a message that the family is more important than anything else. If the oldest child can write, I suggest introducing the role of THE SCRIBE, the person who serves as the meeting secretary and takes the notes of what was decided and what was said. Preserved in a tin box in my closet is a folder of meeting minutes that were taken by my oldest child throughout the years of our family meetings. The lists of rules and decisions are presented in perfect penmanship in red crayon on white-lined paper. These documents are more valuable to me than any historical parchment paper documents I could ever own. The next time you’re facing challenging behaviour, check to see if it happens to be your oldest child. Perhaps they are trying to tell you that they don’t feel so special anymore and just need some encouragement that they still matter to you.

September 5, 2023

Baby monitor. Do I really need one?

The question I get asked is ‘is it really necessary? After all my parents did without and I turned out just fine!’. Baby Monitors come in all shapes and sizes but it’s all about what fits into your lifestyle and meets your needs as a parent.

August 31, 2023

Keeping Fit while you’re Pregnant

Sports Science Institute Biokineticist, Zoe Woodman, gives us her advice on the do’s and don’ts of keeping fit during pregnancy.

August 29, 2023

How can creativity benefit your kids?

There are many different reasons why kids (and adults) end up with low self-esteem and a feeling of negativity and hopelessness. One of the big ones is that technology has changed the way kids socialize and interact with each other, and this is impacting on their mental and emotional well being. While there is no one size fits all solution, we can definitely make a difference by encouraging our children to engage in more creative activities from a very early age.

August 29, 2023

DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONES- YOUR BABY’S FIRST YEAR

Caring for an infant can be exhausting, but there’s so much to look forward to. Take a tour of first-year “firsts” with WebMD’s guide to the most anticipated baby milestones. During the first year of life, your baby will grow and develop at an amazing speed. While caring for an infant can be exhausting during this period, there is so much to look forward to. Here are the development milestones that your baby will reach in their first year: At Birth Head, Hands and Visuals At birth, your baby will: Have no control of head movement. You would notice that baby’s hands are closed and palmar and plantar grasp reflexes are present. Baby is able to close their eyes in response to bright light. 6 Weeks Head, Hands, Visuals, Hearing, Speech, Recognition and expressions Has a moderate amount of control over the head, particularly while lying on stomach, bust still demonstrates head lag when gently pulled up into a sitting position. Places hand in mouth and can make tight fists. Looks at faces or objects placed within the direct field of vision and may follow slow moving objects within 90°. Responds to sounds by calming, startling or crying. May turn head to the source of the sound. Starts making “cooing” sounds. Begins to smile in response to a familiar face or voice. 3 Months Head, Hands, Visuals, Hearing, Speech, Recognition, expressions and Gross Motor Can lift head when lying in a prone position, very little head lag. Spends much time inspecting hands. Hands are held loosely. Grasp objects that are placed in the hands. Follows objects moving up to 180° in the field of vision. Starts to recognise and look at the source of sounds. Smiles spontaneously. Develops facial expressions to show basic emotions. Recognises and responds to parents. Can lift upper body with forearms when lying on stomach. Demonstrates controlled leg movements lick kicking and stretching. Begins to demonstrate standing reflex, (pushing down on a surface with legs when held up). 6 Months Head, Hands, Visuals, Hearing, Speech, Recognition, expressions and Gross Motor Supports head and can move head. Reaches for and grasps objects. Transfers objects from hand to hand. Starts holding a bottle. Places objects in mouth. Can move eyes in all directions. Responds vocally when spoken to. Uses sounds, such as moaning, squealing or laughing, to express emotions. Uses repetitive monosyllabic sounds, like “baba”. Recognises toys. Recognises self in a mirror and responds to own name. Can support upper body with hands when lying on stomach. Sits when supported. Rolls over. Legs can support the body when held in a standing position. 9 Months Head, Hands, Visuals, Speech, Recognition, expressions and Gross Motor Can pick up, shake and drop small objects. Begins to grasp food and place it in the mouth. Holds a bottle. Begins to point. Starts imitating sounds. Recognises their own name. Nervous around strangers. Sits without support. Crawls on stomach and then on hands and knees. Starts to pull body into a standing position. 1 Year Begins to understand and respond to words like “no”and “bye bye”. Walks with support. Speaks up to 4 words. Can perform gestures such as waving goodbye, pointing or shaking the head. Plays with and makes sounds at toys. Begins to throw objects. Searches for hidden or fallen toys. Helps to dress self. Shows social preference. *These milestones are only given as an approximate as to when your baby might start doing certain things, as all babies develop differently. If you are concerned about your baby’s development, please consult with your healthcare professional.

August 28, 2023

WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO INTRODUCE SOLIDS TO YOUR BABY?

Over many years the theory on when the right age to introduce solids is, has been debated. The advice has varied over the last 60 years from 2 weeks old to 6 months and even older. There are two ways to approach this question: Understanding science and research Knowing your own baby The current evidence in research points to the following: Do not introduce any solids into your baby’s diet before 17 weeks unless advised to by a medical doctor. Preferably breastfeed your baby for at least 6 months. Do not delay the introduction of solids too long after 6 months as allergy risk as well as fussy eating can result from very late introduction of solids. It is safe from an allergy perspective to introduce solids between 17 weeks and 6 months of age. Your Baby With the facts in mind, turn your attention to your baby. Introduce solids between the window of 17 weeks and 6 months, once your baby shows he needs and is ready for solids: No longer displays a tongue thrust reflex that pushes food from his mouth. Can hold up his head and sits supported in a chair Is no longer stretching between feeds and is demanding another feed in the day. Interest in your eating and reaching for your food or utensils when you are eating. Not sleeping as well at night as he was previously. Once you have weighed this up, discuss it further with your clinic sister who knows your baby best from a health perspective.

August 25, 2023

WHAT IS A “LAZY” EYE?

Amblyopia better known as “lazy eye” occurs when the vision in a child’s one eye doesn’t develop like it should. If it is not treated promptly the brain will only process the picture from the normal eye and learn to ignore the picture from the lazy eye. It is in fact the leading cause of visual impairment in children and affects approximately 2 to 3 out of every 100 children. What are the possible causes? Amblyopia commonly starts when one eye has a much better focus than the other. This can be caused by a number of conditions * such as: Strabismus (squint) –This is the most common cause of amblyopia. It occurs when the eyes don’t line up properly, for example, one-eye turns in towards the nose or it turns out towards the ears. The eyes cannot focus together on an image so the brain compensates by switching off whichever eye produces the fuzziest image. Unequal Refractive Errors or focus – Refractive amblyopia occurs when the brain favours one eye over the other due to extreme near-sightedness, far-sightedness or even astigmatism *. The brain gets a blurry image from the eye with the refractive error and a clear image from the normal eye, so to stop the confusion; it starts to ignore the eye with the blurry image. Vision Obstruction – This is also known as deprivation amblyopia. This occurs when something blocks light from entering a baby’s eye. Common causes include cataracts, scars and blood at the back of the eye. How is it Diagnosed? Amblyopia can be difficult to spot because it doesn’t have any external signs or symptoms and it begins in infancy or early childhood. Because of this some experts recommend that children have their eyes tested at six months, then at three years and again before they start school. Some clues that amblyopia may be present include: Observing a baby’s behaviour when one eye is blocked; if the baby continuously and constantly fusses or cries, it might indicate a vision problem. Squinting eyes can also be another clue that amblyopia may be present. Because amblyopia often affects one eye only, the parents may notice that the child constantly bumps into objects on the affected side.* If amblyopia runs in the family, the child is more likely to get it. Remember, you can’t tell by just looking at a child that they have it, and although these clues might give a suggestion of amblyopia, a full examination is needed to make an accurate diagnosis. This is essential so that prompt treatment can be started to try and prevent irreversible vision loss. How is it treated? The most common form of treatment for amblyopia is to retrain the brain to start using the weaker eye. This is done by firstly correcting any focusing problems with glasses or surgery (when needed) and then wearing a patch over the stronger eye. Sometimes eye drops are also prescribed to blur the image in the stronger eye, forcing the brain to use the weaker eye. What’s the long-term outlook? Amblyopia can lead to problems* if left untreated, such as loss of depth perception or blindness in one eye. If the stronger eye gets injured somehow, then serious problems with visual acuity can follow. With early diagnosis and treatment, most children’s vision will improve. It becomes increasingly difficult to treat after the age of 10 and therefore it is so Important to catch it early!

August 24, 2023

GETTING THE STIMULATION BALANCE RIGHT WITH YOUR BABY

Stimulation is important for brain development – of that we are sure. The connections (synapses) that are made between brain cells are vital for development. For example a connection in the language part of the brain will result in understanding of speech or in speech itself. Connections are mainly made between brain cells in the presence of stimulation.

August 23, 2023

Lifesaving tips every parent should know about

While most parents prefer not to think of their children in potentially life-threatening situations, being prepared and knowing how to respond appropriately in the event of an accident, injury or illness is crucial for the well-being of children. These unexpected events can also place huge financial burdens on families if they are not dealt with quickly, decisively and correctly. For this reason, Bestmed Medical Scheme has introduced Best Care, a life-saving first aid series that offers insights on how parents and caregivers can better care for their families. In this article the brand offers tips on first aid kits, CPR and Wound care in collaboration with some of SA’s best paediatricians. First aid A fully stocked first aid kit is an essential item in every home, but it’s also a good idea to create a mini first aid kit that can be carried in a handbag, diaper bag or in the car for use during an emergency while out and about or on the road to your next holiday destination. According to paediatrician, Dr Enrico Maraschin, having medical tools and medication that can be used to measure and control a temperature is vital. High fevers can be dangerous to the health and wellbeing of little ones if left unattended or not properly treated. It can result in convulsions, which is a stressful event for parents to witness and support their child through. Rehydration solutions, over-the-counter medicines to bind a runny tummy and even probiotics are good items to include in your home first aid kit for children, in case your child is exposed to a virus or bacteria that can cause diarrhoea and sometimes vomiting. Antiseptic creams, bandages to wrap wounds and a small pair of scissors to cut bandages may also come in handy in case of a fall or injury, and keep safety pins, an eye patch and adhesive dressings packed too. CPR Knowing how to resuscitate a child who is choking or having difficulty breathing is a necessary first aid skill that every parent and caregiver should possess, as it could help keep them alive until emergency services arrive. Resuscitation is necessary when a child appears unresponsive, has collapsed or is gasping for air and struggling to breathe. It’s always best, of course, to intercede and assist a child as early on as possible – always take signs of breathing difficulty seriously and don’t wait for the child to collapse before taking action. The first abbreviation to keep in mind is SSS – Safety, Shout and Stimulate. Safety: Look at the immediate environment around you and ascertain whether it’s safe to attend to the child here or if they need to be moved to safety. It might seem simple enough, but in a moment of panic it’s easy to lose sight of this very important step. Shout: Call for help from people nearby, phone the emergency services or get someone to call an ambulance for you. Stimulate: Check if the child is responsive by gently tapping their arm, stroking their face or speaking to them. If the child does not groan or move and is unresponsive, quickly move on to the ABC. ABC is a CPR abbreviation that stands for Airway, Breathe, and Circulation. Airway: Make sure the child’s head and neck are aligned and that their body is positioned in a straight position – don’t let the neck flex as this prevents air from reaching the lungs. Breathe: In the case of infants and babies, place your mouth over their nose and mouth to create a seal. For bigger babies and children, pinch the nose and place the mouth over just their mouth. Circulation: There are three steps involved in this section: Step one: Take a breath and breathe into the mouth, making sure that the chest rises. Step two: Wait for the chest to deflate to normal position Step three: Repeat the first step. You can continue this cycle five times. If the child is still not responsive, move on to chest compressions. While the technique varies between younger and older children, the gist remains the same. For infants, use two fingers or a hand circling technique to apply compressions. For older children who are above the age of one, use one or two hands curled around the other to press on to the breastbone (the same would apply for an adult). Use quick compressions, positioning yourself directly over the chest and keeping the elbows straight. “You need to do the compressions at a rate of 100 to 120 seconds. Singing a song like ‘Staying Alive’ in your head and compressing to the beat will help you to do this,” says paediatrician, Dr Kevanya Coopoo. Alternate between compressions and administering rescue breaths, and continue this until help arrives, the child is responsive, or you are too fatigued. “I always recommend that families go for basic life support courses. Have a look at the Resuscitation Council of South Africa’s website for a range of courses to choose from,” says Dr Coopoo. She adds that this ensures all members of the family are aware of safety practices and are able to help one another in a crisis. For younger children, teach them the phone numbers of emergency services so that they can call for help in an emergency. Wound care Accidents happen, and when they do, they may result in wounds that require proper care and treatment to ensure they heal well. A wound is any break in the skin or injury to the tissue. It can be open (in the case of the skin being penetrated or cut) or closed (if there’s damage to underlying tissue). “If there’s bleeding, compress the wound with a clean cloth or gauze for a few minutes until the bleeding stops. Then rinse off with clean running tap water for a few minutes. Now, clean the wound by using an alcohol-sterilised pair of tweezers to pick out any debris,” says Dr Coopoo. Dr Coopoo adds that the wound would most likely be moist at

August 17, 2023

When do children start talking?

This is one of the most common questions posed to a speech therapist. As a parent, if this questions has come to your mind – this indicates a certain level of concern for your child which is a great start. An open minded parent, who shows keen interest in their child’s developmental milestones, is the beginning of a child’s progress. Being in denial about any delay in your child’s milestones is more detrimental to your child than the actual delay itself. For any concern, assistance is always available. Trust your gut feeling – motherly instincts are there for a very good reason, listen to it. At the end of this article we share a fun activity to encourage your child to make verbal requests in various lengths with the final aim being – “Mommy, may I have more chocolate pizza please” The standards that we have for our children differ according to various factors. Two parents, who may have had a rough childhood financially, could have opposing views regarding money when it comes to their own children. One parent may feel that their children need to value money in the same way hence they limit their spending and have a set amount of allowance they receive. The other parent may feel that they do not want their child to be ‘deprived’ the way they were hence they have no limits regarding how much money their child receives. Both parties need to have a common ground to avoid conflict in their relationship and the relationship they have with their child. You might be wondering – what does this have to do with my child’s speech development? In the same way 2 parents can have different opinions regarding finances, 2 parents can also have different opinions whether a child’s speech is delayed “just like so and so’s son” or a visit to a speech therapist is compulsory. Depending on who you ask, the stage of “talking” is interpreted differently. For some, it may be when a child starts using vocalisations such as /nana/ whilst others it could be when a child uses a two-word utterance such as /baba gone/. The former is known as babbling which begins around the age of 4 months and the latter is achieved by 18 months. Before we discuss these milestones in greater detail, let’s understand the difference between speech and language. As elaborated in our May edition, All You Need to Know About Speech Therapists, “speech” is the actual sounds that emanate from the mouth. Disorders of speech can include stuttering, a lisp, apraxia, dysarthria. “Language” is a system of communication made up of written text and sounds. Language is further broken down into receptive and expressive language. A child who can follow age appropriate verbal instructions but is unable to express himself verbally is said to have delayed expressive language development. At birth, your new-born’s sole method of communicating hunger, pain and discomfort is by crying (see Dunstan baby language by Priscilla Dunstan as featured on the Oprah Winfrey show). Cooing and laughter are 2 reflexes that a baby can’t control i.e. it happens naturally. Playing the game peek-a-boo is an ideal way to stimulate these reflexes in children 4 – 12 months. They would laugh (sometimes uncontrollably!) at almost any silly sound that you make. Just as walking is preceded by crawling, so too is talking preceded by babbling. For some babbling are the non-sense sounds which babies make that have the ability to melt anyone’s heart. Ironically, we can’t wait for babies to start talking, however once they are older and the questions don’t stop – we wish they would keep quiet. 4 – 5 months Simple babbling Ba – na – da Your child discovers s/he has a “voice” and will experiment with pitch, volume, tone etc 6 – 7 months: Reduplicated babbling (repeated the same sound) Baba – nana – mama – dada A string of the same sound may be repeated e.g. mamamamama 8 – 9 months: Variegated babbling (repeating different sounds) Maba – daba – bana 10 – 11 months: Jargon 12 month: First meaning word By the age of 12 months, your child will understand more words than they can say i.e. their receptive language will be greater than their expressive language. As parents, it is tempting for us to respond to our children’s non-verbal cues as compared to prompting them for a verbal response. Let’s explain further using a practical example Scenario 1 Ten-month old Ben was playing with a soft ball which has rolled under the bed. His mother noticed that the ball has disappeared. Without saying a word, she reaches under the bed to get the ball and pass it to Ben. Ben’s mother could have used verbal and non – verbal communication which requires minimal effort but has a profound impact on Ben’s development. Scenario 2 Ten-month old Tom’s mother, Sarah, noticed that his favourite toy fell off the table. She turned to Tom and asked, “Where is your toy” while using exaggerated facial expression, a questioning tone of voice and arms in the air. Sarah then puts her hand over her mouth and says “Oh-o!” with her other hand on her hip. By now Tom is carefully examining his mothers body language and taking cues from her tone of voice that something is wrong. Sarah then repeats the words “Gone!” in a stern tone a few times. Tom is making association between his mothers body language, tone of voice and choice of words. Sarah decides to let Tom crawl on the floor and look for his toy. He finds his toy and exclaims by saying ‘bababa’. Sarah then takes the toy away from him and places it behind her back, out of Tom’s sight. She asks Tom again, “Where is your toy”. Only once his facial expression changes does she repeat the words “Gone!” using the same tone of voice and facial expression as before. Sarah has used the opportunity to expand her child’s

August 3, 2023

A bedtime routine for the family

My kids are 2, 4 and 6 years old and I wanted to help moms out with an idea of what your evenings could look like with a consistent routine that your children can know and become used to. By knowing what to expect, as each night is more or less the same, my kids don’t argue or negotiate what to do or not do, as we have done the routine since they were babies. We have dinner when dad gets home from work around 5:00/5:30 p.m. After dinner, we do some sort of activity, which usually lasts for 15−20 minutes. We either go outside and play, throw the ball for our dog, swing or jump on the trampoline (the kids, not us adults!). Or, on long summer days, we go for a walk around the block. After this, we go inside and all three kids jump into the bath at around 18:00/18:15 p.m. While they bath, I get their clothing ready – nappy for little one and PJs. I set up their essential-oil owl diffusers (I find this is super helpful with snotty noses and change of season as well as dry air) and take the towels back to the bathroom, while dad stands in the doorway watching them. They play and the splashing often gets a little out of hand; we wash them and then wrangle them out the bath by 18:30 p.m. We apply cream, do meds and get dressed. We then all read a story or two (sometimes three, if they get their way) on one bed. After the story, it is lights out. We all say good night and my husband often sits with the older two for a few minutes (my 4- and 6-year olds share a room, each with their own bed) and I take our 2-year old to bed. I tuck her in with her bunny and also sit with her or stand by the door for a few minutes. Most nights, all the kids are asleep by 7:00 p.m. In summer, we put the fans are on, which helps with a bit of white noise, and in winter, we have wall heaters to take the chill off the air. I dress my kids in warm fleece onesies in winter because they generally do not sleep under their blankets, and before I go to bed myself each night, I check on them and put a blanket over them, as being cold can cause early wakings with babies and children. When they were smaller they still had sleeping bags. We try keep our bedtime routine, from bath to lights out, within 30 minutes. Research shows that our body’s melatonin is at its highest point within 30 minutes of having had warm water on our bodies, and I have seen that this really does help my kids calm down and get sleepy. With only one child, you can really create a SPA type of environment with dimmed lights and calming music. But as they grow and are more mobile or when you start to have more kids in the bath-time routine, it is quite unrealistic to expect your kids to not splash and be loud at bath time. Having a consistent routine allows my children to know what is coming next and that bedtime with lights off is at the end of the routine. To summarise: WHY a bedtime routine is needed: A consistent bedtime routine is vital for good sleep health, for both children and adults. The consistency of a bedtime routine helps your baby or child prepare for sleep and to know that sleep is coming. It also helps with melatonin production. WHEN a bedtime routine should be done: If you aim for bedtime to be between 6:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m., you need to aim for 30 minutes before that. HOW a bedtime routine should be done: I love reading that “a bedtime routine should be relaxing and a SPA-like environment should be created” (at Good Night, we even used to advocate this). And yes, that is a lovely idea and would help with prepping the brain for sleep and allow your baby to feel super relaxed and calm. It could also be achievable when you have only one child, but throw three children in the bath together and the noise and atmosphere will be more like varsity-locker-room vibes than a SPA. Load shedding added to the mix can spice up your night, especially as it is getting darker earlier as winter approaches. I use a lamp to have light in the bathroom. I also need to be a little more prepared with turning our geyser on earlier so our water is warm and making sure the clothing is out so I don’t need to use my cell phone flashlight to find the PJs in the dark. But my kids are so used to load shedding that it doesn’t cause too many issues; they just know that we need to then tell and not read a story in the dark. Below are just the basic points of what a bedtime routine can look like. Bedtime routine: Bath Dress in PJs Read a story Hugs and kisses Lights off Being able to have all three of our children bath and do their bedtime routine together was what we wanted as a family, firstly to create a time of bonding and secondly for practical reasons. When my husband works late, I need to be able to independently bath and put to bed all three of my kids together and bathing and dressing them one by one is way too exhausting and drawn out. Having all three of our kids bath together works for us, even though that creates lots of noise, wet floors and chaos. We embrace the chaos and noise and allow the warm water temperature to do its work on the brain (temperature change signals the brain to release melatonin) regardless of the splashing and loud fun being had by all three children. By Megan

August 2, 2023

HOW TO DISCARD OF EXPIRED OR UNUSED MEDICATIONS

I usually go through all my medications during National Pharmacy Month in September since that’s when I usually remember to do so. It’s also the month I make time to reorganise my drug cupboard. However, this year I have seen many of you start off the new year by decluttering your homes and doing a little bit of “spring cleaning”.

August 1, 2023

How much should you be feeding your toddler?

Nutrition is one of the most important things to get right when your child starts eating.

August 1, 2023

Bathing your Baby

How often should I bath my baby? It’s up to you how often you bathe your baby. Some babies love being in the water and giving your baby a warm bath can become a fun and relaxing ritual. That’s not to say you have to bathe your baby every day. If your baby is new born, a bath two or three times a week is enough to keep him clean. Bear in mind that if you live in a hard water area, too much tap water may dry out and damage your baby’s skin. Between baths: wash your baby’s face regularly clean your baby’s genitals and bottom after each nappy change wipe any grime off his skin When you do bath your baby you may find it a little scary the first few times. You may want to have someone with you to give you a bit of support. It’s also helpful if you’ve forgotten something you need for your baby. Until you get into a routine, you’ll probably find this is a common occurrence! Handling a wriggling, wet and slippery baby takes practice and confidence, but you and your baby will get used to bath time and start to enjoy it. Most babies find warm water soothing and a bath may help a fussy baby to relax and calm down. Where should I bath my baby? To begin with you may find it easier to use the kitchen sink or a small plastic baby bath. You could use your big bath, but it can be awkward as you need to kneel or lean over the side. If you do use your big bath, it may help to use a bathing seat or support, or a rubber mat or sponge bath base. When should I bath my baby? Choose a time of day when you’re not expecting any interruptions and have time to devote to your baby. It’s best if your baby is awake and contented before you start, and between feeds, so he’s neither hungry nor full. When your baby is new born you may find it easiest to bath him during the day. But after a few months, a bath can become part of his bedtime routine. Warm water can help to relax your baby and make him sleepy. It’s also an opportunity for other family members to get involved. Bath time is a part of baby care that dads often enjoy taking on. If someone comes to the door or the phone rings and you feel you must answer it, scoop your baby up and take him with you. Never leave your baby unattended in the bath, not even for a few seconds. That could be all the time it takes for your baby to get into difficulty in the water. Even if one of your older children is in the bath with him, or you are using a special bath, bath support or bath seat, you must stay with your baby. Once your baby is a couple of months old, you or your partner could share a bath with him. Being in the bath with your baby is a lovely way for you to be close to each other. It’s a great way for dads to have precious skin-to-skin time with their baby, too. Have a quick shower or wash before you get in the bath. Make sure the water is warm, not hot. Use mild baby cleansers and washes, as your normal bath products will be too harsh for your baby’s skin. It can be tricky, and risky, to get in and out of the bath while holding your baby, so ask your partner or someone else to help. They can pass your baby to you once you’ve got in and lift him back out again when you’ve finished.

July 26, 2023

How to weighted blankets help with sleep, anxiety and concentration?

Weighted blankets and toys are designed to help children and adults with difficulties such as anxiety, hyperactivity and sleeplessness to attain a calm and relaxed state. The added weight provides deep pressure input, which is interpreted by the proprioceptive system. Our proprioceptors are sensory receptors located in our muscles and joints. This system helps us feel the position of our bodies in space. Proprioceptive or ‘deep pressure’ input is calming and organising to our bodies. For the same reason, we like firm hugs when we are in distress, bite our nails or chew gum when we are anxious, and why babies suck dummies and fingers. All of these activities are using the proprioceptive system for calming. Deep pressure is also an essential part of child development. It is present for the entire period in utero and helps keep baby content in the womb. When the baby is born, they are no longer held within the tight cocoon of the womb space. Providing the same kind of pressure to their bodies helps them feel comforted and secure. It also helps to carry them over during sleep cycles, meaning they won’t need to wake up for comfort when moving from one sleep cycle to the next. Weighted blankets also provide what is called a ‘grounding effect’. They help children and adults to feel safe and secure at night, by helping them feel more grounded. There is also less chance of rolling over and the blanket slipping off, or your child kicking it off at night and then crying to be recovered. For toddlers and children, the extra weight when carrying the toy or blanket stimulates the proprioceptors, giving them more opportunity to learn about their body position in space. Heavy muscle work by carrying these items is also calming and organising. Weighted items also provide input to the tactile system-our sense of touch. While light, unexpected touch is alerting and can be irritating, deep, constant touch is calming and comforting. Children often need this constant deep touch to remain calm, and stay asleep. Weighted items can also be very effective within the school environment. Weighted lap pads are designed to be worn over the lap in class by the restless, fidgety or anxious child. The weight helps the child remain seated for longer periods, and can benefit concentration.

July 26, 2023

HOW TO MAKE MATHS MORE ENGAGING FOR KIDS

Have you ever heard your child say that maths isn’t fun? While maths can be challenging, there are a variety of ways to make maths more engaging and fun for kids of all ages. First, help your child understand how they can use maths in real-life scenarios. From cooking to careers, there’s a ton of instances that maths is useful, and recognizing that can help them understand why it’s important to continue practicing. Once they understand a bit more about how maths is used, try some of the below methods to make learning maths more engaging. Play maths games There are a ton of maths games out there that effectively teach while being entertaining. No matter what maths level your child is on, there is a game that can tie in learning a new concept or strengthening one that they want to improve. Playing maths games takes away a feeling of intimidation and encourages kids to have fun while practicing their skills. Incorporate it into their interests Let’s say your child loves to help you cook. You can incorporate maths seamlessly into your preparation by discussing recipes while cooking. If your child loves soccer, you can talk about how maths can be used to figure out different plays and positions, and how the statistics side of it can tell a story. Incorporating maths into an interest that they love will show kids that maths is useful and something that can help them expand their skills. Hands-on learning experiences Have you ever seen a jar filled with sweets and the option to guess how many are in the jar? This is a great example of a hands-on learning experience because of the options to incorporate maths skills. While guessing is a fun element, counting different coloured sweets can bring in addition, multiplication, and even fractions. It’s a great way to show maths beyond paper and pencil problems. Read books that talk about maths If your child is interested in reading or learning about maths in a different way than just through numbers and equations, try finding books that incorporate maths. Many children’s picture books use maths to count or talk about objects. A short search on the internet will give you so many book suggestions, but one that might be really useful is this one from Stanford University: “40 Children’s Books That Foster a Love of Math” Enrol in an enrichment programme Sometimes maths isn’t fun because a child is struggling with the foundational skills. To make maths more engaging, consider an enrichment program that consistently challenges and incorporates practice. This will help to build their skills and ability to problem solve which in turn can help them feel more confident to tackle maths concepts. The Kumon Maths Programme develops strong problem-solving and calculation skills from the four basic operations through algebra and calculus. In the Maths Programme, students will develop a solid foundation of maths skills that can help them excel in and out of the classroom. In addition, the Programme develops confidence, concentration, perseverance, self-discipline and the ability to learn new work on your own. If you would like to find out more about the Kumon Maths Programme, visit us at www.kumon.co.za This article is taken directly from the KUMON NORTH AMERICA website: https://www.kumon.com/resources/how-to-make-maths-more-engaging/?doing_wp_cron=1656500380.2784550189971923828125

July 26, 2023

Parental Preference

It is quite typical that many children appear to have a parental preference for one parent/caregiver even when it comes to sleep. This essentially prevents the other parent’s efforts to attend to their baby. This dynamic, whatever the cause, often results in one parent feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and the other parent feeling disempowered, unloved, frustrated and resentful. Is this normal? It is very typical, in fact, it is developmentally appropriate for a baby to assign their needs to be met solely by one specific parent. However, we can also encourage children to begin focusing on more than one relationship at a time by encouraging a higher level of acceptance of the less preferred parent. Firstly, the baby needs to learn that the parents trust each other. If a mom is always jumping in to rescue the baby when they are crying in Daddy’s arms, the mom is giving the baby the impression that she doesn’t trust dad to care for the baby. You want to avoid undermining the relationship and give them a chance to figure out their own dynamic. Just because they do it differently does not mean they are doing it wrong. We need the baby to understand that parents do things differently and those differences are ok. The way daddy dresses me might be clumsier than the way mommy does it. Mommy might rush me through the bath, where daddy likes to take his time and let me play and splash a bit more. What does this mean for sleep? When we embark on sleep coaching, it can entail us taking into consideration what the baby associates with falling asleep: is this sustainable, a long-term solution? Does it require assistance from anyone other than the baby? Often we find baby’s that need to be held in a very specific way, swayed to a very specific rhythm, fed the breast or sung to. That makes it very difficult for any other person to replicate. Encouraging inter-changeability around bedtime is desirable as it prevents one parent from becoming an unsustainable sleep association and allows the baby to learn that sleep is associated with themselves and NOT someone else or someone specific. The benefit is that both parents can do bedtime and take turns to do bedtime. The added benefit is that it makes babysitting your baby easier! What can we do? Whenever possible, give both parents opportunities to put the baby to bed. It is a great opportunity for family bonding time! Once a baby no longer has bedtime struggles and they can put themselves to sleep independently without hours of assistance from a parent, that exact bedtime becomes some of the most precious moments with the baby. Both parents deserve a chance to cherish these moments and bedtime is a great opportunity to fill their love cup, give them extra snuggles and kisses and reconnect with them after a busy day. But the bedtime routine should not need to take two parents to complete. Parents can take turns to do it! When the other parent is in charge, use that opportunity to give yourself some downtime. If a grandparent is visiting, let them get involved. Usually, they love participating in bath and bedtime. This becomes exceptionally valuable once a new sibling arrives. I find that having a toddler accustomed to both parents helps the toddler feel more settled when the new baby arrives. It is very difficult for a toddler who was accustomed to only one parent, now suddenly have that parent unavailable because they are occupied with a newborn. It is obvious to see how this would create doubt and emotional uncertainty in the older toddler. A toddler who is not reliant on a specific parent, won’t feel as put out and the primary parent can make up for that lost time with the toddler in the day. Sometimes, it is good to take a step back and realize that you’re both good at what you do and being tag-team-parents have a host of wonderful benefits. You’ll be surprised at just how much your children will enjoy one-on-one time with each of you. Likewise, just how much rejuvenated you will feel by having a mini break from your baby every other night. By Tammy Buitendach – Good Night Consultant References: www.sleepmatters.ie.org www.sleephealthjournal.org www.mentalhealthandhappiness.com www.verywellfamily.com

July 24, 2023

PARENTING AS A TEAM

When a parent comes to me for help with their kids and tells me about their challenges, my first step is to ask questions about this family’s situation. The information they share with me usually sheds some light on circumstances that may be contributing toward, or causing at least some of the challenges this parent is currently experiencing. Some of those circumstances include the current condition of the relationship of the parents of the children; fighting, arguing, separation, divorce, etc. These situations factor in because children are affected directly by the adult emotional chaos that may be happening in the home or around the kids. Here are some suggestions for parenting more as a team, regardless of any issues that have come between the adults. Agree together on how various situations will be handled with the children, and implement them with conviction. You won’t have answers to all situations but you can begin discussing with each other how you will both handle common ones to start. When new situations arise unexpectedly, discuss them in private away from the kids and then announce them jointly. If you’re just getting ready to start a family, it’s never too early to discuss parenting issues. Make time to discuss your values and beliefs in parenting and children rearing with your significant other, and share your experiences on how you were parented as a child. Take a parenting class to learn together and seek recommendations on good parenting books from family and friends. Always speak respectfully of other caregivers who share with you, the responsibility for caring for your children. This includes your spouse, the other parent, grandparents and other relatives. Doing so models integrity for the kids to learn from. Even though the other caregiver may have done something to hurt you or others, as long as they are sharing in the caregiving, your child(ren) may still see them as a hero and an adult to look up to. It’s not always possible to hide arguments from the kids and some experts suggest that you don’t. It’s definitely OK for your kids to know that you both don’t always agree, but refrain from mistreating the other adult verbally or physically. It’s important to know that your children will learn how to develop their own relationships with others, based on the model you present. If the argument begins to escalate, take it to another room for privacy. It’s also important that your children see the “makeup” after the argument subsides. And what if you’re a single parent? Create a support network made up of adults you trust with your children who can help give you the breaks you need to “recharge your batteries.” For single moms, engage trustworthy male relatives to spend time with your son(s) and for single dads, engage female relatives you trust to spend time with your daughters. And it’s great when your boyfriend and/or girlfriend bonds with your children, but they should not administer discipline. That’s reserved for you, the parent.

July 24, 2023

Meal prep for busy families

Who knew that being a mom or dad meant you would have to come up with delicious meals every day for the rest of your days? Dinner time can be very stressful, yet it can be super easy if you are prepared and organised. What do we know about children’s nutrition? A balanced diet consisting of fruit, vegetables, protein, and grains is the best way. That means that if planned right, you never have to feel guilty by pulling out a pizza from the freezer because your child eats healthy food most nights and days. Here are the steps to weekly meal preparation: Plan a menu It is important to choose things that your family likes. For example, if Spaghetti Bolognaise is a hit, make a batch enough for 3-4 meals. Planning the menu will also ensure that you can shop for the right ingredients so that you don’t have to stop at the shop every couple of days and save money in the long run. Ensure that you have enough containers This is a once-off purchase that you can use time and time again—choosing containers that are freezer friendly. Portion out your meals Make sure that you can take out your meals, and they feed your family with just enough. You will only be able to reheat food that has yet to be reheated. Variety Children love variety, though they don’t mind having the same or similar foods on a specific day. For example, Mondays could be beef day, Tuesdays could be chicken days, and Fridays could be pizza day. While they love variety, they also love predictability. Get the children to help. Children love to assist in the kitchen. They can do age-appropriate chores like mashing potatoes or mixing ingredients. This is a great way to teach your child about healthy eating habits and allow them some bonding time with you. Remember to have fun! Dinner times can often be a time of stress and anxiety, let’s choose to create great memories for our children.

July 18, 2023

Putting together your birth plan

As you enter your third trimester you’ll have probably done a fair bit of research on the birth process (if this is your first) and may have a good idea of what you want before, during and after delivery. There are many options and opinions, from whether or not you want pain medication to how many people you would like supporting you. However, trying to keep track of your choices during labour may be tricky, which is why you’d put together a birth plan. So what exactly is it and how do you put one together? Why should I put together a birth plan? Your birth plan is your choices or preferences before, during and after labour and delivery. While things may not always go according to plan, having your preferences written down and communicated means you, your midwives and doctor have a more mutual understanding. However, if your pregnancy doesn’t go accordingly, you need to be prepared to make adjustments on the day. What should be in my birth plan? Your birth plan is how you’d like everything would go in the best-case scenario. Your birth plan will also have to take into consideration what is available at the hospital or place where you are giving birth. Some birth plans are very basic, just outlining a simple overview, whereas others may be far more detailed and in-depth. The choice is yours. Typically a birth plan will include before, during and after labour and birth preferences. Such as who you want to assist you during birth, whether or not you want any pain medication, you birthing positions, and requests for newborn care, such as skin-to-skin time. How can I learn more about the birth process? If you feel like you need to top up your birthing knowledge before putting together a plan they are a few ways you can go about this. Joining antenatal classes are a good way to learn more and to meet other women in your position. Chatting to friends or family who has been through the birthing process themselves is another good way to see what would work best for you. If you and your partner are having a baby together, keep them in the loop as well. Find out what they expect during labour and you can chat about what you want, and what role you see them playing in the process.

July 17, 2023

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