Advice from the experts
Mia Von Scha

Is there a superior parenting style?

There are many trends in parenting styles that change from decade to decade or even year to year – helicopter parenting, tiger parenting, respectful parenting, attachment parenting… So which one is best? Is there one that is better than others or does it depend on your personal preference? The jury is in on this one and research confirms over and over again that there is a style of parenting that comes up on top.  Parenting styles and trends can basically be divided into three broad categories – Permissive, Authoritative, and Authoritarian. I like to think of them as political systems within the home. Permissive is anarchy, Authoritative is democracy, and Authoritarian is dictatorship. Nobody is parenting in one style all the time – we tend to swing between different styles at different times of day (we all know which style comes out at around 5pm!) and we change depending on what we’re dealing with and how much we value compliance in that area. But most people have a predominant parenting style and that’s the one that matters. Permissive parents have (to a greater or lesser degree) no rules, no boundaries, no structure. The kids rule the roost and the parents find their way in amongst the chaos. Kids needs come first, parents’ needs come last.  Authoritarian parents are the “my way or the highway” parents. They have strict rules, which are punishable if broken; there is no discussion and no back chat. They run their home more like an army barracks where stepping out of line is simply unacceptable. Here adults come first and kids must fit in. Authoritative parents have the goldilocks balance. Here kids’ and parents’ needs are equal and are both considered before a decision is made. Everyone is involved in deciding the rules and structure of the home and agrees to abide by this out of respect for each other not out of fear of punishment – like the kind of boundaries we’d create with friends if we lived with a roommate. Expectations are realistic and interactions (even for transgressing a boundary) are kind, respectful and caring. No great prizes for guessing which parenting style leads to the best outcomes. Again and again, research into parenting styles shows that Authoritative parenting leads to increased prosocial behaviour, success, self worth and cooperation, and leads to decreased drug use, violence and behavioural problems.  Why? Because an Authoritative parent is primarily concerned with the relationship between themselves and their children. They are modelling acceptable ways of interacting with other human beings, of resolving conflict, of finding ways to get past disagreement. They are showing what it looks like to be respectful and kind and caring and authentic. They are not letting their kids walk all over them, but they are not bullying them into compliance either. They are seeing their children as whole, capable, decent human beings, and children always live up (or down) to our expectations of them. Would you like to live in an anarchistic society? Or under the rule of a dictator? Or would you rather opt for democracy? Your home is a microcosm of the world and helping to train your children to live in the greater society. Let your home and parenting style reflect what you would choose for yourself in the world.

Bonitas – innovation, life stages and quality care

TB – Serious but Curable

Tuberculosis (TB) is a serious public health issue in South Africa.  280 000 people fell ill with TB during 2022 and, of these, an estimated 54 200 died from the disease. South Africa is one of the 30 high burden TB countries, contributing 87% of the estimated cases worldwide.  According to the Department of Health, the main driver of TB infection is HIV, with around 48% of TB patients living with HIV. As a member of the United Nations, South Africa has committed to reducing new TB cases by 80% by 2030, compared with 2015 levels. Clinical data presented by the World Health Organization (WHO) indicates that our country is meeting some of its targets but there are still too many people falling ill and dying. ‘It is important to remember that TB is curable’, says Dr Themba Hadebe, Clinical Executive at Bonitas Medical Fund. ‘However, we all need to be more aware of how contagious it is, the symptoms, the impact of the disease, the importance of getting medical attention and adhering to the treatment regimen.’ ‘TB also has a big impact on the economy, not only in terms of healthcare expenses but lost productivity – due to absenteeism and the direct and indirect costs to business.  ‘We know that not everyone has access to private medical care but public healthcare facilities offer free testing and treatment.  If you test positive for TB, the Department of Health will provide the necessary medication. Crucial to overcoming this disease is to follow and complete the treatment regimen as advised by your healthcare giver.’ Some TB facts: What is TB? It’s a disease that mainly affects the lungs but can also be found in any other body organ. It is caused by an organism (germ) called Mycobacterium Tuberculosis which is found in the sputum (a mixture of salvia and mucus) coughed up by someone with TB of the lungs. The organism (germ) usually destroys the soft tissue of the lungs resulting in difficulty breathing and blood can be coughed up in severe cases. If untreated, TB can cause death.  How is TB contracted? The disease is passed on from one person to another. The germs spread into the air via microscopic droplets if an infected person sneezes, coughs or releases saliva. The incubation period is 6 weeks.  TB Symptoms  If you are concerned about your health or having been exposed, you must get tested urgently.   Symptoms of the TB include: Excessive coughing – a cough that has been present for more than two weeks and is productive, (a cough that has phlegm) Chest pains  Loss of appetite and weight Low grade fever Night sweats Chills Coughing up blood In children the symptoms may present as a cough for 2 weeks or more, loss of energy and appetite and quite often a mild fever. Who is most at risk of contracting TB? People living with HIV/AIDS Living in the same house as someone who has had or has TB  Anyone who has had active TB in the last two years  Those with diabetes Residents of informal settlements Children under five The undernourished Alcoholics and smokers  Mineworkers  Prisoners Pregnant women Can you have TB and not be sick? TB can be ‘latent’, in other words it’s in your body but not active and therefore you not capable of spreading it. However, if your immune system becomes weak, the TB can become active and you become ill. Having HIV/AIDS is a key factor in the TB epidemic which is why it is so important that the people living with HIV are screened and treated.   How is TB diagnosed? Diagnosis of TB is quite complex since many symptoms can be quite similar to those of other common lung diseases. South Africa has moved towards more intensive and active methods of identifying cases, for example by screening all those attending primary health clinics.  TB testing and treatment is free. The Mantoux Tuberculin Skin Test (TST) and blood tests do not differentiate between latent and active TB which means a sputum sample needs to be taken or a chest X-ray.  Treating TB TB is definitely treatable. However, medication must be started as soon as possible, and it must be taken regularly – as per the instructions. Also important is to finish the course of medication. It takes six months for TB to be cured completely but, within 2 weeks of starting treatment, the person will no longer spread the disease.  Treatment must be completed. If treatment is missed, the risk of a drug resistant strain of TB is possible, which is difficult to treat and requires a longer treatment period.  How can TB be prevented? People on TB medication must complete their treatment, this prevents the spread of TB Cover your mouth and nose when coughing or sneezing Wash hands with soap and water Immunise of all babies at a clinic within 1 year of birth Keep your body healthy by eating balanced meals and exercising Stop smoking  Keep your windows open in your home if living with someone with TB – fresh air blows the TB germs away and sunshine kills the TB germs. TB in the workplace If any employees display TB symptoms, they should stay home and limit contact with others as much as possible until the results from a TB test are known. Once a person has been on TB treatment for 2 weeks, they are no longer infectious and can continue to work.

Nutripaeds

Breastfeeding While Pregnant

Congratulations, you’re pregnant… again. And whether this age gap was planned or not, you’d like to continue breastfeeding your baby / toddler through your pregnancy. Here’s what you need to know. In most cases, breastfeeding while pregnant is completely safe but it is also a very personal decision with many factors to account for. What suits one family may not suit another. During pregnancy, hormonal changes in the body can make breastfeeding a challenge. For one, you will most likely find that you are extremely tired or sick in the first trimester. This can make eating a healthy, balanced diet close to impossible. Your milk may taste different causing your older child to wean himself or you might find that your breasts and nipples become too sensitive to continue breastfeeding. Something else to consider is that by the time you reach your second trimester, your body will begin to switch things up a bit. Instead of producing the volumes of mature milk that your child is used to, you will go back to producing colostrum for your new baby. Some toddlers are happy to continue drinking even though they are now receiving colostrum while others will flatly refuse and self-wean because of the new taste and composition of this ‘milk’. Taking the drop in volume or lost interest into account, it is important at this stage that you begin to supplement your child’s diet with an alternative milk source. Your choice of milk will depend entirely on the age of your child. Cause for concern. A big concern when it comes to breastfeeding while pregnant is whether the nipple stimulation from your older child suckling will cause you to go into pre-term labour. There is much controversy around this. Nipple stimulation triggers your body’s production of oxytocin, which helps with milk letdown and also plays a role in the contractions you have during labor. But whether the amount of oxytocin released is enough to trigger labour or not, we do not actually know. This question is begging for a medical study and at this stage, there is none. However, preliminary data does suggest that breastfeeding and full term, healthy pregnancies are quite compatible. It is important to realise that during pregnancy, the amount of oxytocin released in response to nipple stimulation is somewhat less than when a woman is not pregnant. Secondly, the uterus during pregnancy is not completely at the beck and call of oxytocin during the 38 weeks of the ‘preterm’ period. Even high doses of Pitocin (labour inducing drugs) is unlikely to trigger labour unless the uterus is ready. As with any pregnancy, it is important that you are open and honest with your pregnancy care giver about your wishes to continue breastfeeding. There are most definitely cases where breastfeeding during pregnancy is not advised. In conclusion, when making the decision to continue breastfeeding, it is wise to take into consideration how breastfeeding will fit in with your needs for rest, adequate pregnancy weight gain and your overall sense of well-being. It is also of utmost importance that you pay attention to your diet, drink plenty of liquids and keep taking your prenatal vitamins.

South African Divorce Support Association

A bad marriage doesn’t have to be a bad divorce

Divorce is more often than not a dreaded life event. High emotions are involved creating conflicts which in turn interfere with the process of moving on. People find themselves stuck in a situation from which they initially wanted to move away from but the unpleasantness of dealing with a person they no longer get along with is remaining a painful present occurrence. I like to stress that if you are in a bad marriage, you don’t have to be in a bad divorce. On the contrary. A divorce, for most parties, is a solution to a life they no longer want to live together. So how do you divorce well when you no longer get along? Here are 5 principles to a good Divorce: Respect each other and agree to disagree. You are no longer getting along to a point that you want to divorce. Agree that whatever has caused your relationship to come to this point needs to be acknowledged. Mutual non aggression. Whether verbal or physical, rudeness or aggression is only a weak imitation of strength. Acknowledge that your situation is what it is. Fighting it or the other person is not going to change the circumstance, only the outcome. Ask yourself then if fighting is going to result in a better or worst outcome. Mutual non interference in each other’s lives. It is important to be at peace with the fact that you both now have separate lives. New places to live, possibly new friends and perhaps a new love interest. What your ex does is no longer of your business. Be interested in your life and all the exciting things that are waiting to happen. Win-Win. To end a bad marriage is to result in a happy separation. Making a divorce difficult to try and get back at each other for whatever hurt was caused will not result in anyone winning and most likely make the person creating most of the chaos more unhappy after than before. Amicable coexistence. Why live in constant hostility when you can live in peace? This is especially of value for divorcing parents whose hostility will affect their children. No matter what you do, you both exist at the same time and, especially as co-parents, are more likely to remain in each other’s lives. It’s your choice to make it a good or bad experience. Nadia Thonnard Founder SADSA | The South African Divorce Support Association

CRYOSAVE

Epigenetics and Motherhood

What does Epigenetics mean? Gene expression is the process of how often or when proteins are produced from the blueprint within your genes. While genetic changes can alter which protein is made, epigenetic changes affect gene expression to turn genes “on” and “off.” Since your environment and behaviour, such as diet and exercise, can result in epigenetic changes, it is easy to see the relationship between your genes and your behaviour and environment. The study of epigenetics looks at how actions and the environment can influence your genes. Unlike genetic changes, epigenetic changes are reversible and do not change DNA sequences, but they may affect how your body reads DNA sequences. How does epigenetics relate to Nature Vs Nurture? Epigenetics explains how early experiences can have permanent effects. The genes children inherit from their biological parents provide information that guides their development. For example, how tall they could eventually become or the kind of temperament they could have. How does epigenetics affect us before birth? Environmental factors may alter the epigenetic profile of a fetus during early life, specifically in the prenatal period, which may increase vulnerability to diseases later in life, such as obesity, cardiovascular, diabetes, etc. Donor Eggs Epigenetics and Birth Mother. Birth mothers using donor eggs have a significant impact on the development and future health of their babies. Since the baby’s DNA only comes from the egg donor and the sperm donor, many women using egg donation worry that they will not share any genetic information with their child. However, the switches that turn our genes on and off may play an even greater role in health and development. These switches are known as epigenetic controls. Abundant research has shown us that the prenatal uterine environment plays a crucial role in fetal brain development, childhood metabolism, immune health, and numerous other factors. Given our limited understanding of the processes that affect fetal development, what can a pregnant woman do to improve her prenatal environment? Following the common practice most women use during pregnancy might be the best approach in order to foster a healthy uterine environment for your baby, it is essential that you maintain a good weight, follow healthy diet habits, refrain from drinking alcohol, limit caffeine intake, and take prenatal vitamins. Stress management and maintaining stress-reducing activities during pregnancy are equally important for creating a healthy uterus for your baby. An emerging concept, fetal adaptation, explains how epigenetic regulation impacts development later on in development, in contrast to embryogenesis and implantation early on in development. Epigenetic modifications allow the fetal genotype to respond to a variety of developmental environmental factors. Even though early gestation is the most susceptible period for the fetus, environmental stimulation in late embryonic development, infancy, and early childhood can also have long-term health effects in later life. It has been shown that a high-fat diet supplemented in adulthood induced large-scale methylation changes in skeletal muscles, as did folic acid supplementation during the peri-pubertal period. All these studies suggest that plasticity of the human epigenome may also persist into adulthood and epigenetic mechanisms are involved in life-long adaptation. In conclusion: In contrast to conception, which begins when an egg cell meets a sperm cell, motherhood begins in the womb. The factors influencing childhood begin in the mother’s body long before she becomes pregnant. Your uterine environment will influence your baby’s development in various ways. When you begin taking care of yourself before you become pregnant, and continue doing so as your baby develops inside you, you’ll be able to pass on health benefits to your child, ensuring they have the best possible future.

Good Night Baby

“Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps” – Planning for Newborn Sleep Bliss

I am the mother of two beautiful boys and have experienced two polar opposite newborn phases; one pure undisturbed bliss (even with a three-year old running around) and the other where the wheels completely fell off around eight weeks postpartum. After my first, very wobbly experience, I am here to share how I fought for and set myself up for the most wonderful, enjoyable, relaxing and sleep-filled (yes, I really am using those words!) postpartum with my little Leo, our baby lion (named by my firstborn, Max). Both my babies were born into my arms at home, in births I had manifested and dreamed of. I won’t go into too much detail about what I did wrong when Max was brand new. But as a first-time mom, most of it was due to being uninformed, taking bad advice, not listening to my intuition and not giving myself, the most important part of the mother-baby dyad, the care, quiet and nurturing I needed to look after my tiny newborn. I have since learned that our babies and children feed directly from our nervous systems; they physically need us to regulate themselves. I knew that with Leo I had to plan very carefully and put the necessary support, boundaries and expectations from those around me in place very securely before he was born to allow myself the space and time I needed to be able to stay in a calm, happy, ventral vagal state while having a newborn in my arms and a three‑year-old to tend to as well. I knew that this would mean that my newborn would be calm and happy too, as he was feeding off my nervous system. So, for me, there were a few very important things I planned so I could rest and sleep once he was born: I made sure that my three-year-old would be looked after and his needs met by my parents during the day. I still did his bedtime every night, even the day Leo was born, which is a blessing one has when birthing at home. I made sure my fridge was stocked with all the right postpartum foods to help nourish me after birth and give me all the energy I needed to establish breastfeeding. A great book I read was The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother by Heng Ou with Amely Greeven and Marisa Belger. I followed a forty-day confinement/resting period after giving birth, where I stayed in my home for this special time. I didn’t leave my bedroom for the first seven days and slowly made my way into the rest of the house only when I felt I was ready. This tradition is followed in many cultures; however, in our own fast-paced Western culture, it has been largely overlooked. In my opinion, this is why so many mothers have difficult newborn phases filled with the social pressure to get back to normal life way too quickly. All they should be doing is looking after their baby while others care for them. Some of you reading this may be thinking, how the hell would I even do that? And that is why I said I had to ‘fight’ for my postpartum bliss. It doesn’t just happen, I promise you! I took a Chinese herb called Calm Shen and an incredible amino acid called L‑theanine, which I wish more mothers knew about. These aided me in restful sleep and calming the anxious mind, so I found it easy to drift back to sleep at night after feeding and to lay down for a nap with my baby and actually sleep. I made sure I lay down to rest and sleep whenever Leo was napping. Because I felt so calm, so held by those around me and so safe, I was actually able to nap with my teeny one in my arms and not just lay there wide eyed and wired, wondering if he would wake up the next time he stirred. I also became very comfortable with newborn active sleep patterns, where they are fast asleep but moving around and making noise like crazy (enter me sleeping with ear plugs day and night!). With Max, I used to jump up to rock and feed him the moment he moved, which meant that most of the time, I was actually waking him up and being the reason for his short naps and poor nighttime sleep. I went to bed super early. Now when I say early, I mean like 7:30 pm, latest 8:00 pm. My three-year-old goes to bed at 6:00 pm and sleeps through the night, so Leo and I would follow close after him. This meant I had 12 hours in which to get as much sleep as I could, taking the edge off feeling anxious about how much sleep I got. For most nights, this ended up being a good eight hours for me (obviously interrupted by feeding). BLISS! I used a Love to Dream swaddle, Sleepyhead pod, soft white noise and a Lulla Doll as a lovey from day one and made sure there was some light for our day naps and that nighttime was completely dark. For the first 16 weeks, I co-slept with Leo and had him next to me either in my arms or in a co-sleeper. I mastered the art of breastfeeding while side-laying, which meant I often fell asleep while feeding him. This was another way we had our long blissful naps during the day, always laying together. Something I used to dread with Max became something I truly miss now that Leo is eight months old and sleeping happily through the night in his own room. I seriously loved my postpartum journey, from my empowering one-hour-long unassisted homebirth in our beautiful new home by the sea in Cape St Francis (where the midwives arrived five minutes before he was born – but that’s a story for another day!) to my dreamy newborn cuddles and sleep-filled days and

Kip McGrath

It Takes a Village to Raise a Child

The origin of this proverb is unknown. Some believe that it is an African proverb; others believe that it originated from Native American tribes. Either way, we know that these communities have mastered the art of communal living and raising their children as a shared responsibility. Even in today’s individualistic world, it is almost impossible to raise children without the help of family members, friends, schools and professionals. Soon-to-be parents discover the value of their “village” when they attend antenatal classes and rely on this support after their child’s birth. As a child grows older, their teachers and school environment start to play a more important role in their development. Most mothers will remember countless times when her child started a sentence with, “But my teacher said…” The influence of the “village” can be comforting and overwhelming at the same time. It is reassuring to know that other parents experience the same frustrations or fears and that other children face the same challenges as yours. However, too many cooks spoil the broth! Sometimes, conflicting advice can leave a parent disheartened. Where should you begin when your child’s teacher and speech therapist have different views on what is best for your child? What should you do when the teacher tells you that she does not have time to implement the OT’s recommendations in the classroom? In a recent conversation with a psychologist, we came to the conclusion that most children need a “case manager” who can help to prioritise therapies and interventions when multiple interventions are needed. For example, a child on the autistic spectrum could need academic support, behaviour and speech therapy and occupational therapy for sensory stimulation. In reality, reading assessment reports, attending feedback meetings and deciding on the best course of action is ultimately the parents’ choice and responsibility. Prolonging the decision-making process hampers the success of intervention, especially when a problem is identified early. Parents should consider their budget and what could possibly be covered by their medical aid. Start with baby steps and avoid overwhelming your child with too many assessments and therapies. Ask your child’s teacher and therapist to communicate to get everyone on the same page. Simply put, don’t isolate yourself when making decisions about your child’s development. Rely on your village! Chrizelle Prinsloo is the owner of Kip McGrath Education Centres, Walmer.  She has a background in psychology and has taught in mainstream and special-needs schools both locally and abroad. Chrizelle is passionate about helping children gain confidence in their own abilities and about finding different ways to help them learn.

Glenoaks Remedial and Special Needs School

When to Push My Child and When to Step Back

Parental involvement in child development is a multifaceted endeavor that requires a delicate balance between providing support and fostering independence. Knowing when to push a child to excel and when to step back and allow them to navigate challenges independently is a critical aspect of effective parenting. In this article, we explore the factors to consider when making decisions about parental involvement in a child’s development. Recognizing Signs of Readiness One key factor in determining when to push a child is recognizing signs of readiness for challenge. These signs may manifest as curiosity, enthusiasm, or a desire to explore new opportunities. Observing cues from the child’s behavior and interests can provide valuable insights into their readiness to be pushed beyond their comfort zone. Understanding Individual Differences It’s essential to recognize that each child has unique learning styles, strengths, and preferences. What works for one child may not necessarily be effective for another. Tailoring parental involvement to accommodate these individual differences is crucial for promoting optimal development and fostering a positive learning experience. Setting Realistic Expectations While it’s essential to encourage children to strive for excellence, it’s equally important to set realistic expectations. Placing undue pressure on children to meet unrealistic standards can have detrimental effects on their self-esteem and overall well-being. Setting achievable goals that align with the child’s abilities and interests is key to fostering a healthy approach to learning and development. Encouraging Independence Fostering independence is essential for empowering children to take ownership of their learning and development. Encouraging children to take initiative, make decisions, and solve problems independently helps build confidence and resilience. Providing opportunities for children to explore their interests and pursue their passions autonomously nurtures a sense of self-efficacy and agency. Providing Support and Guidance While fostering independence, it’s essential for parents to provide support and guidance along the way. Offering encouragement, praise, and constructive feedback can help children navigate challenges with confidence. However, it’s equally important to strike a balance between offering assistance and allowing children the space to learn from their mistakes and grow. Recognizing Limits It’s crucial for parents to recognize when a child is feeling overwhelmed or stressed and adjust their level of involvement accordingly. Pushing a child too hard or too fast can lead to burnout and diminish their enjoyment of learning. Being attuned to the child’s emotional well-being and providing support to help them manage stress and anxiety is essential for promoting a positive learning environment. Seeking Professional Advice When unsure about the appropriate level of parental involvement, it’s important for parents to seek guidance from educators or child development experts. These professionals can offer valuable insights and recommendations based on their expertise and experience. Consulting with professionals can help parents make informed decisions that are in the best interest of their child’s development. In conclusion, knowing when to push a child and when to step back is a nuanced aspect of parenting that requires careful consideration and judgment. By recognizing signs of readiness, understanding individual differences, setting realistic expectations, fostering independence, providing support and guidance, recognizing limits, and seeking professional advice when needed, parents can effectively navigate the complexities of parental involvement in their child’s development. Maintaining a balanced approach that prioritizes the child’s well-being and autonomy is key to fostering a positive and nurturing learning environment.

Bill Corbett

How to Teach Kids to Care

I hear parents complain that their kids don’t appreciate what they have. So much is available to our kids today that it’s hard for them to imagine being without. Then when they push their parents for more, it triggers a feeling of resentment for the parents as they think about all they’ve done and provided for their kids so far. My own kids occasionally threw in the, “All my friends have an (insert anyone of these here: iPhone, TV, Xbox, Six Flags pass, etc.), why can’t I have one?” It’s common for them to think that every other child has what they want, even though it may not be true. Remain calm when they make these claims and stand firm in your position to not cave at their demands. Instead of reminding your children of all that you’ve bought or done for them, let their cries for more stuff be your reminder to get them involved in something that gives to others. From food banks, to pet adoption groups, to the Salvation Army and churches, all communities have opportunities for individuals, families and even children to volunteer in service to others. There is no better way to teach your children the act of giving then to do it right alongside them. Avoid dropping your kids off with an organization for them to volunteer, unless it’s an organization that is specific to youth participation. You are the primary and most important teacher for your children so roll your sleeves up and get in there with them to participate. I read a news story recently, featuring a 16-year-old boy in Rhode Island who started a project of providing brand new donated shoes to homeless children. In the four years it’s been running, he’s provided 16,000 pairs across 32 states. The article in People magazine included testimony from recipients of this giving organization’s gifts to families. And where did this admirable young man get the notion to start such a wonderful organization? His parents took him to a homeless shelter when he was five years old. When he realized that his light-up sneakers did not compare to the shoes worn by the homeless children, which were falling apart, that experience remained with him and influenced his actions as he approached the teen years. As the story supports, telling your children about those who are less fortunate than they are, may not be enough to matter. When I was a child, I remember my elders warning me about all the children that were starving in foreign countries, in hopes of getting me to eat my dinner. Providing an experience for your children in seeing and hearing from those less fortunate can make all the difference. One final thought on this matter of teaching children and teens to care. Suppose there are some things that you do want to provide for them. Instead of running out and making an instant purchase, consider a dollar-for-dollar matching initiative if they have the means to earn money. Or at the very least, put limitations on when and how long they can use the item. Delayed gratification is something more children need to experience to appreciate what they do and do not have.

Bonitas – innovation, life stages and quality care

Pregnancy, your body and your baby – week 10 of your pregnancy

At week ten, you are officially a quarter of the way through your 40-week pregnancy with only a few more weeks left of trimester one. In your first trimester, you won’t look it but your body will have gone through many changes to accommodate your growing baby. This trimester its particularly important to keep taking prenatal vitamins containing folic acid as your babies spinal tube and organs develop. Your baby at week 10  Your little baby is now the size of a strawberry and is now referred to as a fetus and not an embryo.  She is growing rapidly inside you and is slowly started forming bones and ligaments, their little arms and legs are slowly becoming more functional and your baby’s jawbone is also started developing. Nerves are starting to form in their spine and her kidneys are starting to function. Your body at week 10  At week ten your baby bump may be starting to show, but it may be a few weeks before your family and friends notice or you decide to tell anyone. Because of your slowly growing baby belly, it may be a good idea to invest in your first few items of maternity wear, as pants that are too tight around your waist is an added discomfort that you shouldn’t have to deal with. You’ll still be managing a variety of pregnancy symptoms, from morning sickness to frequent urination. You may still be struggling with fatigue, but thankfully this pregnancy symptom should lessen in your second trimester. Things to keep in mind  Week ten (between week 10 and 12) is roughly the time that you would choose to have your baby genetically tested. Genetic testing isn’t required but it is a good option to consider so that parents-to-be are alerted to potential genetic disorders before birth. A genetic test is particularly important if you have hereditary genetic problems in your family, or if you and your partners are carriers for a particular disorder.

Junior Colleges

SCREEN TIME AND ITS’ EFFECT ON LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT

Technology has become part of our daily life. Living in a time where everything is rushed and screen time opportunities are growing, children are exposed to screens for increased periods. What is the effect of increased periods of screen time on my child’s language development? According to recent research, screen time may have some positive effects if your child is exposed to screen time, as the World Health Organization (WHO) set out. Some positive impacts include expanding your child’s vocabulary, exposing them to cultural diversity, and keeping them occupied in a safe environment. However, suppose a child is exposed to screen time for long periods. In that case, it may negatively affect their language development as screen time may not encourage your little one to participate in a conversation actively. The WHO encourages parents not to expose their children to screen time between birth and two years and to limit screen time to less than 1 hour per day between the ages of three- and five years.  Recent studies have suggested that the adverse effects of screen time appear to outweigh the positive influences thereof. During the first three years of life, the brain experiences rapid growth due to neural plasticity. The first three years of life are crucial for language development; therefore, as the parent, you will be advised and encouraged to spend as much one-on-one time with your little one to expand their vocabulary and limit screen time as much as possible. In addition, remember to read a book daily; this will expand their vocabulary, increase sentence length, and create a love for books that will be important for later learning, and create time for you and your little one to spend together. Written by Michelle McDonald (Speech-Language Therapist)

South African Divorce Support Association

Parental Alienation

Parental Alienation is a term which has become synonym with acrimonious divorces and seems to become an increasing and concerning problem. Angry parents, through the power of manipulation and control, turn their child/ren against their other parent in a manner that it looks like it is the child/ren’s choice to cut all ties with that one parent. It is particularly destructive to the child/ren who are acting under total trust of the toxic parent and when, eventually, mature enough to start questioning why they are disconnected from that one parent, they will read into the manipulations of the “loved” parent at a cost of now possibly damaging that relationship too. There is no denying that some separations are particularly hurtful and hard to overcome, but nothing, apart for the obvious sexual abuse or criminal behaviour by a parent, accounts for a parent to set the children up as a means to gratify their hurt and anger. Some call it a criminal act, others children abuse and others a mental disorder. Regardless of the label it holds, the bottom line is, it is seriously hurting children and robbing them of a childhood in which they should have enjoyed a relationship with both their parents. The law seems to be powerless against this situation or ill manages it, which further tears down any chances for that family to heal. There is unfortunately presently no clear solution or remedy, but what is evident is that separating parents who find themselves overwhelmed with negative feelings need to prioritise their emotional state with the wellbeing of their children in mind. People overwhelmed by their feelings, who are left unsupported or ill-advised in this life changing transition will struggle to move forward and resort to hurtful behaviour. In some countries, like the USA, divorcing parents are mandated to take a parenting class prior to their divorce and have to Mediate before they choose to Litigate. It may not be the solution for all, as Parental Alienation is still thrive in the USA too, despite these measures, but understanding that this is, first and foremost, an emotional process which needs to be given necessary attention before the legal divorce is tackled. Also, the targeted parent needs to take responsibility for their role in the conflict and how they are feeding it. When at a loss it is understandable that being the recipient of such vile anger will trigger an equal aggressive reaction, but if anything needs to be learned from this cycle of conflict, is that no conflict ever get resolved by throwing more fuel onto the fire. Understanding the level and origin of anger of your ex is important to tone down the conflict and offer an alternative to save the children from a childhood which will permanently wound them.

Julie Kay Belly Way

Back and Pelvic Pathology in Pregnancy – the Need for Support

Back pain is a common ailment during pregnancy. As many as 50 to 90% of women suffer some form of back or pelvic girdle pathology or ailment because of pregnancy. Pelvic girdle pain (PGP) is defined as pain or discomfort experienced in the lumbar spine, abdomen, pelvis and thigh areas. PGP is highly common in pregnancy and includes sciatica, pubic symphysis pain and round and broad ligament pain. If back and pelvic injury or pain is not managed correctly and addressed during pregnancy it can persist long after birth and has the potential to carry on throughout life.  Often the symptoms progress and lead to structural and biomechanics changes in the spine and pelvic regions. The causes of perinatal back pain include weight gain, balance and postural changes, hormonal joint and ligament effects, weakened abdominal muscles and pre-existing spinal pathology. The increasing weight of the pelvic and abdominal areas places a large force on the spinal, sacral, pelvic and lower limb joints. This weight distribution shift-causes a change in the body’s centre of gravity and these joints need to compensate to achieve postural steadiness. The load placed on the spinal joints, muscles and ligaments can be damaging and pain and pathology may develop where it never did before. This force also exacerbates any existing pathology or previous injury sustained by the spine. Weight gain during pregnancy also negatively affects the optimum functioning of these joints placing them under further strain. During pregnancy balance is affected. The body’s centre of gravity is shifted due to the forward pull of the increasingly heavy abdomen. Adjustment of posture and limb orientation is needed to accommodate the changing weight distribution to achieve effective balance. The postural changes required to maintain balance can lead to a varied number of spinal ailments as the upper back tends to become rounded, the chin pokes forward and the lower back extends, pushing the abdomen out even further. Poor posture then weakens the muscles of the upper back and possibly causing thoracic, neck and shoulder pain, as well as headaches. The lower back may suffer the same result with pain in the lumbar, sacral and pelvic region, sciatica and neural and muscular strain. Weight gain, posture and balance changes can also lead to falling and mechanical injury to the spine. The pregnant body secretes hormones which prepare the body for the growing foetus as well as the impending delivery. Relaxin is a hormone secreted that softens the ligaments, tendons, cartilage, muscles and joints in the body which allow for the stretching of the pelvic joints and hips during delivery. Relaxin also relaxes the smooth muscle in the uterus to allow for growth and expansion. In turn it influences the entire body causing cartilage and ligaments to soften, muscles to relax and joints therefore become more prone to injury and pain. Joints in the spine and pelvis become increasingly vulnerable to injury and pain as their stability is further compromised due to this effect of relaxin. The hormonal effects of relaxin as well the weight of the abdominal and pelvic contents can lead to varied degrees of incontinence, constipation and haemorrhoids. Due to the expanding uterus and the growth of the abdominal and pelvic areas weakening of the abdominal muscles tends to occur as they need to stretch to accommodate this growth. The core abdominal muscles, which are responsible for support, strength and correct biomechanics are weakened too. This muscular structure becomes compromised during pregnancy which in turn can allow for injury and pain as their protective function has been diminished. Diastases recti, where the abdominal muscles separate from each other, may occur in severe conditions. Sciatica, pubic symphysis pain and diastase’s, facet joint pathology, sacroiliac joint dysfunction, muscular spasm, spinal disc and neural irritation are a few manifestations due to the above-mentioned factors. These need to be effectively managed to reduce discomfort during and after pregnancy as well as any long-term negative spinal and pelvic effects after birth. Treatment options include correcting poor biomechanics, exercise, muscle strengthening and release, joint mobilisations and infiltrations, postural adjustment, pain management modalities and support bracing. The goal is to provide support and structure to this vulnerable area, to reduce discomfort, pain and pathology and promote a healthy back in later life. The BellyUp maternity support brace is designed to alleviate the majority of the above-mentioned symptoms by providing support of the heavy abdomen, back and pelvis. The female body undergoes a vast amount of physical change during pregnancy and the back and pelvic areas are often left in a destabilised state due to the preparation for birth. Bracing allows for increased stability, support and function during a time when the female body requires it the most. Bracing with a product like the BellyUp will minimise injury and pathology caused by pregnancy, which in turn will reduce back and pelvic symptoms experienced by women later in life. Julie Klinkert (BSc Physio (WITS))

Meg Faure

Sensory Defensiveness

Mary’s little boy was not doing anything by the book. He did not give her the usual two week honeymoon period after he was born. He just screamed from day1. He would not latch and within three weeks was being bottle fed, even though breastfeeding was so important to Mary. He cried all day every day – not colic hour – it was colic twelve hours! Then everyone said the crying would stop at 3 months, but it just got worse. By the time William was 6 months old, he had had every test under the sun. Mary was exhausted and was sick of the screaming – no one had said it would be so bad and she just felt like a useless mom. William suffers from what we call sensory defensiveness. He has an aversion to touch, even when it is nurturing. He recoils from smells and screams whenever a door bangs or a dog barks. By understanding what is at the root of his fussiness, his mom will have a much easier time managing his behaviour. We all have a specific threshold for sensory information, just as we have a pain threshold. If your baby’s threshold is high, he will be able to deal with a lot of sensory input and be happy and interactive without becoming over stimulated. However if your baby’s threshold is low, he will have a very low tolerance for sensory input. Soft and gentle touch may then seem threatening and painful. If all touch is threatening, being hugged, stroked and massage will not be pleasurable. Breastfeeding will be an intolerable event because it is fraught with tactile experiences, being skin to skin. Likewise if your baby has a low tolerance for sounds, he will stir very easily and wake at the slightest sound. Furthermore, a door banging or an unexpected dog bark will over stimulate your baby, causing him to cry. Being sensitive to smells is particularly overwhelming because the world is so full of odours and we battle to predict or control them. For a baby who is oversensitive to smells, an uncle who smokes or the smell of cooking in the kitchen may be totally unnerving. If you think your baby is an oversensitive baby, go to the checklist on this site to determine whether he suffers from sensory defensiveness. If your baby is sensory defensive, you should: Approach him with firm deep touch as opposed to light fluttery touch Schedule baby massage for the morning rather later in the day when he is already over stimulated Swaddle him for breast feeds to help him be calmer for feed times Not wear any perfume for the first year as he will probably be sensitive to it Wear your baby in a sling or pouch to calm him Play white noise or quiet lulling music to block out the effect of sudden loud sounds Speak to him before touching him so he is able to predict that your touch is coming If you suspect sensory defensiveness is at the route of your baby’s fussing, it is worth getting hold of an occupational therapist to determine whether he is sensory defensive and the extent to which the sensitivity will impact on his daily function. Being the parent of a sensory defensive baby is not easy and you may find he has a harder time settling than other babies. The support of a therapist will help you with ideas for daily life and keeping your baby happy.

Toptots Head Office

How to encourage crawling

Crawling is an important milestone in your child’s development. Here are some suggestions to help encourage your child to start crawling when you can see he is eager to start getting moving. Don’t put any pressure on your child, he will get there when he is ready, but use these activities as a fun way of stimulating his movement systems and getting him prepared for crawling. Try and make sure that he gets lots of tummy time so that he can develop strong back and neck muscles which are essential for crawling. Try to make it fun by lying on your tummy in front of him and pulling faces at him/ singing to him/ moving his favourite car around in front of him etc.  When he is in sitting, place his toys slightly out of his reach so that he has to stretch to reach them. This will exercise his trunk muscles and develop his balance, both of which are necessary for crawling. Place him in a kneeling position on the floor i.e. on his hands and knees. Kneel over him and use your hands to rock his body gently backwards and forwards. This will help stimulate his balance reactions in the kneeling position. Put him on an old towel/ sheet/ blanket lying on his tummy. Take him for a ride around the lounge by pulling the towel/ sheet/ blanket slowly around on the floor. You can also try this in sitting, but go very slowly so that he doesn’t fall backwards and hit his head. This will activate his vestibular system which is the movement system of the body and may increase his desire to move and will also stimulate the balance centres of the brain. Give him some movement stimulation every day (through stimulating his vestibular system) by doing things like throwing him (gently) up in the air; twirling him around; bouncing him on your lap; holding him under his tummy and “flying” him around the room etc.  You can also give him a nice massage after his bath each night to increase his body awareness.

Jenna Richards

Tackling Engorgement While Breastfeeding

It is completely normal for your breasts to become full, heavy and even painful when your milk comes in, when you have missed a feed, or when you have a sudden increase in your supply. Generally, this will last no longer then 24 hours (with the exception of milk coming in), the areola should remain soft and your baby should be able to latch on without any hassle. True engorgement occurs when the duct system is not cleared adequately, causing an accumulation of fluid. Increased pressure in the milk ducts and glands produce breasts that feel firm, hard, tender and warm or even hot to touch. The skin may become translucent and the nipples may flatten and even get lost in the breast. Milk flow slows down and relief is not found easily. A mother can experience engorgement at any time during her breastfeeding journey whenever milk is not removed adequately. However, it is most common in the weeks immediately following birth. This is because feeding patterns are so irregular and your body has not yet adjusted to suite your baby’s needs. Consequences of Engorgement Engorgement can compromise your milk supply – remember that milk removal promotes milk production. Breast tissue allows milk storage for as long as 48 hours before the rate of milk production and secretion begins to decrease rapidly. Engorgement affects the letdown reflex – the flattened nipple of an engorged breast makes it difficult for your baby to get a good latch. This insufficient latch makes it almost impossible to stimulate the nipple adequately in order to promote letdown. Without the letdown reflex, your baby will not be able to remove milk from your breasts and the pressure in the milk ducts will increase even more. Cracked nipples – when a baby is trying but struggling to latch correctly, you are increasing your chances of getting sore, cracked nipples. Increased risk of infection – when things remain stagnant in the breast, bacteria has a chance to grow resulting in breast infections such as mastitis Permanent tissue damage – increased pressure in the breast for lengthy periods of time can cause cells in the breast to shrink and to eventually die off Relieving Engorgement Engorgement is very painful and it can be a little scary, but it certainly is no reason for one to stop breastfeeding. It is important to remember that it is a temporary situation and with proper treatment, it is usually resolved within 48 hours. Feed – every two hours or even sooner if baby desires. Place no time limits on feeding times. Continue to feed at least 8 times in 24 hours even after engorgement has resolved. Massage – gentle breast compression during feedings will help drain the breast more adequately Express – using a good quality electric breast pump express a little milk before each feed. This will help to soften the breast making it easier for baby to latch. Expressing between feeds may also be necessary depending on the stage of engorgement. Massaging and compressing the breast during pumping may increase the flow significantly. DO NOT express between feeds for longer than a period of 48 hours as this can lead to an increase in milk supply making it impossible to relieve engorgement. Ice – cold compress applied between feedings will help ease discomfort Rest – lying flat on your back with your feet elevated will gel to reduce swelling in the breasts Cabbage – Researchers suggest that phytoestrogens present in cabbage contribute to reducing swelling in tissues. Scour the inside of a chilled cabbage leaf with a fork and place inside your bra. Change your leaves with every feed. As soon as your baby or pumping provide relief, discontinue the use of cabbage as it can suppress milk production or even dry up your milk completely. Preventing Engorgement Ultimately, prevention is the best cure. here are a few key tips: Initiate breastfeeding within the first hour of life Ensure a correct latch and positioning to optimise milk extraction Become familiar with your baby’s feeding cues and feed on demand Do not limit time spent at the breast – allow your baby to drain one breast fully before moving over to the other side Listen for swallowing when your baby is nursing – this is a good indicator of milk removal Avoid the use of artificial nipples for at least 6 weeks post birth as this may cause nipple confusion Minimise interference with breast feeding If baby is not feeding well, be sure to express milk to maintain your supply until feeding is corrected Try not to miss feeds. Wean slowly. If the time has come for you to wean your baby off the breast, do it slowly and carefully

Aupair Exclusive

What To Expect When Expecting Multiples

Taking care of yourself during a multiple pregnancy starts with eating well – except that little research has been done on what that means for a mother carrying multiples. In the absence of any real science, it’s probably best to aim for healthy, balanced meals. You will need to drink plenty of fluid, ideally eight large glasses of water a day as a minimum. It’s worth bearing in mind that sugary snacks can give you highs and lows which may be unpleasant. Slow-burning foods such as whole grain breads and crackers, vegetables, beans, oats, brown rice and whole grain pasta will tend to keep your blood sugar more stable and may satisfy you for longer. You will need more protein, calcium, iron, folic acid and Vitamin B12 than in a singleton pregnancy, so make sure you have a varied diet. Try to eat little and often. Fresh foods are likely to give your body more of what it needs nutritionally than foods that have been processed. Taking a pregnancy supplement is also a good idea. How big will I get? Expectant mothers vary in size as in any pregnancy, but you can certainly expect to gain more weight than women carrying a singleton. In addition to the extra baby or babies, multiples mums carry extra placentas, amniotic fluid and maternal body fluid. As the babies grow, keeping physically comfortable can be a challenge. It’s probably best not to plan a huge amount of activity for the last few weeks of pregnancy – getting in and out of cars as well as negotiating seatbelts can become difficult, and you will probably be more tired with all the extra work your body is doing. It can help to swap tips with other pregnant mums (as well as share experiences and get a little sisterly support) Boring but important, pelvic floor exercises do minimise the risk of a prolapsed uterus later in life, as well as help your pelvic floor return to normal after the babies are born. To do them, tighten the muscles around your vagina and anus (it feels like stopping the flow of urine) and count to five before relaxing the muscles. Do this ten times, repeating the whole routine five times a day. It can help if you put a discreet note somewhere you’ll see it regularly (such as inside your purse) reminding you to do a set. No one need know… Gentle exercise during pregnancy can ease tension and help your muscle tone. Don’t do anything where balance is key as your centre of gravity will be changing as your belly grows. Low-impact sports like walking and swimming suit many people. Whatever you choose, start slowly and stop if you feel any cramping, pain or shortness of breath. Try to look after your emotional wellbeing as well as physical health. The extra hormones can sometimes make you feel emotional and overwhelmed. This is normal, even though it may surprise or upset you when it happens, especially if it isn’t how you usually react. If you feel stressed or anxious, talk to a health professional or family member. Preparing for the arrival of your twins, triplets or more! The prospect of birth can be such a daunting one that many parents find it hard to think beyond that miraculous and improbable event. Try to bear in mind that once your babies are here, you will be very busy. The time before they arrive is a great opportunity to research some of the practical issues ahead of you, reading up on everything from what happens in a multiple birth to twin/triplet sleep routines. Go out to teas in your area and meet other multiple parents. There is nothing like meeting other parents who already have young twins, triplets or more for finding out what you really need to know – such as which equipment you will need extra sets of. You may even be able to pick up some useful items second-hand. SAMBA has a fantastic second hand Facebook page, Moms of Multiples Resale JHB. Attend Expectant Parents seminar hosted by SAMBA. These seminars will prepare you for the birth of your multiples and give you tips on how to breastfeed, sleep routines, a dads perspective and more. Bonding All mothers respond to their babies in different ways, whether they have one baby or four. Some are immediately besotted with them, others initially indifferent. Both of these responses are normal. Some mothers worry that they will not be able to bond with more than one baby at a time – or that they will have a favourite. And some babies appear more loveable than others. However you feel at the beginning, your babies will grow on you. Try to make time to cuddle and get to know each of them individually. Bonding with higher multiples can be especially difficult as you have proportionately less time with each baby. Try roping in some help. Even if it is only once a week, ask a trusted family member or friend to take one or more babies out for a stroll in the pram while you have some special time with just one. Switch babies each time so they all get a turn. If you are separated from one or more babies – for example, if they are in neonatal care – you may find it hard to believe that the babies are really yours. This can make you feel a little detached, but try not to worry. When you start to look after the babies yourself it will begin to feel real. In the meantime, display photographs of the babies in your home and show photographs to friends. Common Symptoms Your body will go on an incredible journey as you nurture the babies developing in your uterus to the point where they can exist outside. Inevitably, there are aches, pains and discomforts along the way because of the sheer scale of the task you are accomplishing. If any symptoms worry you, talk

Junior Colleges

Is your child a bully?

Causes and possible solutions! As a parent, it is devastating news to learn from the schoolteacher or principal that your child is a bully. Thinking that your child could harm others is a painful thought. Children’s friendship skills are essential indicators of your child’s general mental health level. If your child participates in verbal or physical bullying, it could signify severe distress. Your child might be experiencing depression or anxiety and is struggling to regulate his emotions and behaviour.  Time to highlight a few examples of why a child may act unfriendly towards other children: He wants to fit in with the group that bullies a particular individual in the classroom. He is often bullied at home or school and tries to regain a sense of power by acting aggressively towards others. He wants to seek the attention of his class peers, teachers, or parents and feels he cannot get it any other way. He tends to be more assertive and impulsive than others. He is inclined to view the behaviour of others as hostile, even when it is not. He does not fully understand how his behaviour makes the other children feel (this is especially applicable to young children). Let’s have a look at valuable tips you can do as a parent to ensure your child harbors respectful relationships with others: Communicate  Be open and listen to what others have to say about your child’s behaviour and your own.  Set the example at home Parents must realise that their behaviour could influence their children, including how they speak to their children and spouses, and how they deal with anger and other challenging emotions. So make sure your homelife reflects the behaviour you would like your children to adopt. Put meaningful consequences in place. Punishment is only effective when it is meaningful and restricted. A privilege that is withheld for too long, for example, when you take away your child’s phone for cyber-bullying, loses its validity. Instill positive reinforcement and not negative reinforcement. Once your child has regained his privileges, you should explain the situation to him and allow for him to apologise. Monitor the situation Those surrounding him should always be on the lookout for problematic behaviour and praise him when he shows kindness towards others. Stay connected You should keep an open communication channel with your child, talk to him daily, and ask open-ended questions. Communication will place you in a better position to recognise signs of bullying. Children who share their news with their parents willingly feel comfortable speaking to them, which is an accomplishment. Therefore, you need to stay connected with your child in a supportive, non-judgmental manner. Connection is key to reducing aggressive behaviour in your child. However, if you are continuously working on your child’s friendship skills but the bullying continues, you should seek help. Your child might need a therapist’s help to work through underlying problems. 

CRYOSAVE

Advantages of Umbilical Cord Blood over Bone-Marrow and Peripheral Blood Progenitors Transplants

Umbilical cord blood (UCB) is a very effective alternative source of blood-forming stem cells, especially for patients with blood cancers or disorders where there are matched donors that are not immediately available. Notwithstanding the fact that 50 million donors are registered in the USA bone marrow programs, many minority groups, will not be able to find a suitable, unrelated donor within a quick period to be able to save the life of the patient. In this respect, UCB has expanded transplant availability for many patients of racial and ethnic minorities across the world. Since the first UCB transplant in 1988, over 50 000 stem cell transplants are being performed annually worldwide, and that number is growing. Over half of the patients have been cured with this technique. In the USA only 30% of patients who need a stem cell transplant can find an appropriate donor within their family, while the rest must turn to public registries of bone marrow donors and donated cord blood units. For the past 4 decades, paediatric UCB transplants have been performed with high success rates both for blood-related diseases as well as metabolic storage diseases. The transplant of UCB has several advantages over bone marrow and blood stem cells. These include less stringent immune-matching (HLA-matching) criteria, the naïve state of cord blood stem cells which leads to a lower incidence of rejection, better stem cell growth potential, immediate availability of the cryopreserved stem cells, and a lower risk of relapse. Currently, even the transplant rate and success of donor UCB transplants in adults have improved.  Although there are disadvantages to using donor UCBs, such as slower engraftment of certain cells and overall immune recovery, these two factors have been overcome by various techniques. Some of the techniques for donor UCBs include the improvement of recovery of certain types of blood cells that helps with immune recovery and engraftment, multiplying -,  “homing” – and delivery of the stem cells, and the use of double cord blood units per transplant (1,2). Another way to improve the scope of application of UCB transplants in elderly and really sick patients is to have less intense treatments before transplants which allow for better engraftment after the transplant. In addition to the oncology applications, UCBs have also been used in the treatment of several nerve and heart disorders with varying degrees of success. These diseases, once approved, will hold great promise for the application of UCB transplants in the future. References: https://parentsguidecordblood.org/en/news/competing-strategies-expand-cord-blood-use-transplants https://parentsguidecordblood.org/en/faqs/how-are-cord-blood-stem-cells-different-other-sources-stem-cells https://www.lls.org/sites/default/files/file_assets/cordbloodstemcelltransplantation.pdf Malgieri A, Kantzari E, Patrizi MP, Gambardella S. Bone marrow and umbilical cord blood human mesenchymal stem cells: state of the art. Int J Clin Exp Med. 2010 Sep 7;3(4):248

Bill Corbett

Do Your Kids Know How to Express Love and Compassion

Here’s an exercise I learned from a 9-year-old girl little girl, my youngest daughter who today is 28 and expecting her first child. She revealed the exercise during one family meeting 19 years ago when it was her turn to facilitate.  In our family meetings, everyone rotated through the facilitator role which created intense excitement for each of our three kids when it was their week to lead the group. On the night of Shauna’s turn to facilitate, she reminded me to turn the answering machine on so that no calls would interrupt our meeting. If we had today’s technology back then, I can guarantee that she would have collected everyone’s cell phones and placed them in another room so that no distractions took anyone away from this sacred, weekly event. After an opening poem was read or prayer was said, Shauna immediately passed out a few supplies to each person; a business-sized envelope, a small stack of slips of paper, and a bunch of crayons and markers. Along with those supplies, placed in front of her was a ball of yarn and a metal single hole puncher. She waited until she had everyone’s attention and then began by providing instructions. We were instructed to decorate our envelope in any way that we wanted, as long as we included our name. She came around to each of us and punched two holes in the flap of the envelope and then cut a foot-long piece of yarn from the ball she had. Back at her seat at the head of the table, she instructed us to tie each end of the piece of yarn to one of the two holes in the envelope flap, creating somewhat of a handle. Once everyone had a personally decorated envelope with a loop of colored yarn attached, she instructed us to use the slips of paper to write love notes to each person in the family and to place them into appropriate family member’s envelope. Near the end of the family meeting, she led us down the hall to hang our envelopes on our bedroom doorknobs, ready to accept more handwritten notes. Later that night, I was amazed when all three kids willingly went to their rooms when bedtime arrived. Later when I checked in on them, each of them was hidden under their blankets, busily writing by flashlight. And when my wife and I turned in for the night, we found our yarn-hung envelopes overflowing with notes written by the three children. We too ended up staying awake later than usual that night, reading the cutest love notes written in their child-like handwriting, relating all of the things they loved about us or things they were happy about. It brings tears to my eyes now as I remember all the things my kids related to me in those precious little notes. Somewhere in a box in my basement is a large manila envelope, holding some of those handwritten love notes that will be keepsakes for as long as I live. They contain the loving words of my precious children who today are trying to find their way in this world as adults. I pull those treasured notes out now and then to recall the words they wrote when they learned to express their love for their mother and I, and each other.  

Good Night Baby

WHERE SHOULD YOUR BABY SLEEP?

Deciding where your baby should be sleeping is a very personal decision by you as a family. You know your family best! Even when assisting clients, this is a discussion as a team (us and the parents). Discuss the pros and cons of why you want to do it or why it might not be best for your family. I am here to tell you that your baby/toddler/child can sleep well no matter WHERE they sleep. Another thing to keep in mind is that when you decide where your baby sleeps, this is NOT a permanent choice. You can change your mind if your initial choice did not work out and change where your child sleeps as they grow up or your circumstances change. There are some important things to consider, though. We are here to give you some options and considerations: 1. CO-SLEEPING Co-sleeping is when you share a sleep space with your child and can be divided into what is known as bedsharing and room sharing: Bedsharing: This is when parents and babies sleep together in a bed, couch or chair. If you choose to bedshare, you need to do it safely. The reality, however, as new research shows, is that bedsharing with younger babies is associated with higher risk of SIDS. For newborns, the safest option is to use a co-sleeper. But once your baby can sit up at around five months, this is no longer a safe option, as the open sides of the co‑sleeper are quite low and your baby is top heavy. If your baby looks over the side of the co-sleeper, they can fall out. It’s also the reason why you should move your cot to a lower level at around the same time. Room sharing: This is when parents sleep in the same room as their babies but not in the same bed. The American Academy of Paediatrics (AAP) continues to recommend that parents room share with their baby for at least the first six months, preferably a year, because it is associated with lower rates of SIDS. You can influence each other’s sleep, however – white noise throughout the night can possibly assist with this. Babies need 11 to 12 hours of sleep per night, you don’t; so you will go to bed later than your baby. When you come in later, it could wake them. The same could happen if you go to the bathroom at night or if you wake up early. Babies are noisy sleepers and their general night noises could keep you out of sleep. Similarly, some baby cots are noisy and just your baby moving around, which they do, could wake you up. 2. OWN ROOM AND OWN COT Creating a safe and beautiful baby room is often one of the top things moms do while pregnant. If you have created a beautiful, safe baby room, it might just be time to use it! As mentioned before, you can influence each other’s sleep in a negative way when sharing a room. The reality, though, is that the move can often be worse for us as parents. HOW to do the move out of the room: Moving them one shot. Not wasting time and just having them settle can especially help when your baby is close to 12 months or already a toddler. Gradually moving the cot further away from you in the room and then out. This gives baby and parents time to adjust. First having baby sleep in their own room and cot for naps, and once you all get used to the idea, then also moving them to their own room at night. 3. SHARING A ROOM WITH A SIBLING We want your baby to be in your room or a separate space until they sleep through the night. This reduces the potential for your children to disturb each other at bedtime or wake each other at night. Many parents are worried about the kids waking each other throughout the night. We have found this to be a very unfounded fear, as children are pretty good at blocking out sounds. Some things that can help to create a comfortable shared sleeping environment: Block out curtains to help with bedtime and morning light. White noise placed between the cot and bed to minimise their sleeping sounds. Placing the cot and bed as far apart from each other as possible. There is no right or wrong choice when it comes to where your little one sleeps. Inevitably, you might use all the options at one point in your parenting journey. To BETTER sleep!

Cartoonito

MUSH, MUSH AND THE MUSHABLES ‘M’ is for ‘Mushable’!

Growing up in a tiny village in the middle of a peaceful forest, Mush-Mush, Lilit and Chep explore and discover just how fun – and wild – life can be. Surrounded by a caring community of Mushables of all sizes, colours and ages, they get to know themselves better, learn to master their gifts and understand how to overcome their fears. Mush-Mush and the Mushables is a fun journey of self-discovery, exciting outdoor adventure and mush, mush more! In the first episode, the Mushlers lead Sushi-Mushi to believe that Pickled Swampost is Mushpot’s favourite dish – when he actually can’t stand it – and they must try to stop Sushi-Mushi from serving it to him!  Premiere: Monday, 11 March @ 16:20 CAT ⏰ Tune in: Mondays – Fridays @ 16:20 CAT Also available on DStv Catch Up

Cartoon Network Africa

WE BABY BEARS Sibling Search

Bear siblings Grizz, Panda and Ice Bear travel to different locations around the world in the hunt for the perfect place to call home.  On 9 March, the bears set off on new adventures with Box being able to transport them anywhere they wish. But what if Box could make their own choices? Later, the bears are accused of crimes they didn’t commit while on a visit to Bug City, and Ice Bear must team up with old friend Sam Spider Spade to help prove the bears’ innocence. On Saturday 13 March’s ‘Veggie War’, the bears return to the Veggie Kingdom to visit their old friend Lima, only to find the kingdom at war with a familiar yet unexpected foe. Can the bears help save the veggie kingdom from total annihilation?  Premiere: Saturday, 9 March @ 08:05 CAT ⏰ Tune in: Every Saturdays @ 08:05 CAT Also available on DStv Catch Up

Cartoonito

SILLY SUNDAYS Silly Sonia

In this feel-good comedy series, Sonia, Hugo, and Mel create full-of-heart memories with Mom, Dad, and Granny on those playful days spent with family and friends.  This month, Sonia’s ducky toy is not working as she expected. Together with Hugo, she learns there are different ways to play with it. Then, Sonia wants to dance on stage by herself until she learns the importance of sharing the spotlight with her new friend, little Birdy. Later, Sonia tries her best to stay still during play time, and, along with all the family, she learns the benefits of taking a break. Keep an eye out for a special marathon on Sunday, 31 March, to mark the Easter weekend!  Premiere: Saturday, 9 March @ 07:30 CAT ⏰ Tune in:  Saturdays & Sundays @ 07:30 CAT Also available on DStv Catch Up

Parenting Hub

Win with UCOOK this Youth Day!

This Youth Day, UCOOK is celebrating the culinary creativity of our youth by inviting you to unleash your inner foodie and submit special and nostalgic recipes that speak to YOU. Enter now and stand a chance to see your dish on UCOOK’s menu and receive R2 500 in UCOOK vouchers and a UCOOK hamper!

Bonitas – innovation, life stages and quality care

Pregnancy, your body and your baby – week 9 of your pregnancy

At week 9 of your pregnancy, you’re probably more aware than ever of your growing baby inside of you, as the first two months of pregnancy are now behind you. You may be dealing with a variety of different pregnancy symptoms as your baby slowly grows bigger. Your baby at week 9  At 9 weeks in, your baby is looking more human, with mini arms and legs developing, and the tail which was initially present is slowly disappearing. Your baby is now the size of a grape or a cherry and her facial features are also becoming more prominent. At week nine your baby is also becoming more active and beginning to move around. However, you won’t be able to see or feel this just yet – but it’ll be visible on ultrasound. If you’re struggling with painful breasts, a maternity or sports bra can offer you more support and help alleviate some of your uncomfortableness. When your body becomes more used to your pregnancy hormones, it’s likely that some of your pain may ease, but throughout your pregnancy, it’s a good idea to find clothes that you feel comfortable in. How you’re feeling at 9 weeks At nine weeks you may be feeling a variety of emotions, alongside the many other pregnancy symptoms, such as morning sickness, which peaks at around week 9. Your symptoms may be particularly difficult to deal with if you’re still keeping your pregnancy quiet from your colleges and friends, but if you are struggling emotionally open up to your partner or health care provider. Things to keep in mind At this point, it may be a good idea to chat to your doctor about possibly restructuring your exercise routine. It could be a good time to start incorporating prenatal yoga or pilates as these activities help you get ready for labour and childbirth. Staying active is also a great way to keep healthy during your pregnancy, but depending on what activities you did before getting pregnant, you may need to think about adjusting your training program.

The Turning Point Education

The Surprising Benefits of Extra Lessons

Nelson Mandela once said  “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”.  Education is not only developed through the amount of words on a page or number of pages in a book; but also through one’s confidence in their ability to learn. In the fast-paced and competitive world of education, parents are constantly seeking ways to provide their children with a competitive edge. One avenue that has gained increasing popularity is enrolling children in extra lessons outside of regular school hours. These supplementary classes, whether in subjects like math, science or language arts can have a profound impact on a child’s academic success and overall development. In this article, we will explore the myriad of benefits that extra lessons offer to school children and why parents might consider incorporating them into their children’s educational journey. Extra lessons help build the foundation of a child’s confidence – children feel more valued as their time is spent with a smaller student-tutor ratio. Extra lessons provide additional support in homework, test preparation, additional reviews as well as a stronger drive for the child to perform his/her very best. The confidence experienced is indispensable for the child, and the success of each child is focused on without distraction.  Extra lessons can help to save time and effort, especially in busy homes where parents have limited time to help their children with schoolwork. As private tuition generally takes place in a quite area or even at home, students feel that they have a safe environment for open discussion, they will be more willing to ask questions with confidence and will experience a freedom of speaking out. Extra lessons allow for teaching through innovative methods and tutors are more than willing to experiment with new teaching styles that work more effectively for their individual students. Personalised lesson plans One of the key advantages of extra lessons is the opportunity for personalised lessons which create a learning experience tailored to your child’s individual needs. In a traditional classroom setting, teachers are faced with the challenge of accommodating a diverse range of students learning styles, needs and work pace. In contrast, extra lessons are either done in small groups, or individually, which allows tutors to adapt their teaching methods to suit the individual child’s needs. This individualised attention helps children to grasp challenging concepts more easily which in turn builds a solid foundation for future learning to take place. Improved study techniques Tutors build good relationships with the students they teach. This enables the tutors to understand how each child learns best. They have the time and capacity to guide their students in the best study techniques. Most tutors are equipped with knowledge, skills and resources to bolster a child’s study techniques. Learning this lifelong skill effectively has a lasting impact on a child’s education. Increased self confidence Confidence is a cornerstone of academic success. Sadly, many children struggle with feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt, particularly in subjects they find difficult. Extra lessons offer a safe and supportive environment for children to tackle their weaknesses head-on, free from peer judgement or time constraints. Success breeds confidence! As students grasp difficult concepts and see improvement in their academic performance, they gain a sense of accomplishment. This newfound confidence often extends beyond the classroom, positively influencing other aspects of their lives. A confident child is more likely to actively participate in class, ask questions and approach challenges with a positive mindset. Improved academic results The most obvious benefit of extra lessons is the positive impact they have on a child’s academic performance. Whether a child is struggling with a specific subject, or aiming to excel in a particular are, the additional instruction outside of the classroom can help to make a significant difference. The focused and targeted approach of extra lessons helps to reinforce core concepts, fill gaps in knowledge and provide additional practice, all of which contribute to improved results and a better understanding of subject content. Increased responsibility Enrolling in extra lessons requires a commitment of time and effort, which fosters valuable skills such as time management and discipline. Children learn to balance the demands of school work, co-curricular activities and extra lessons, which develops important life skills that will serve them well in the future. The structured nature of extra lessons creates a sense of responsibility and helps children understand the importance of setting goals, managing their time and staying organised.  Increased determination to succeed In the age of digital distractions and instant gratification, cultivating a genuine passion for learning has never been more critical. Extra lessons have the power to reignite this spark by infusing subjects with creativity, enthusiasm, and real-world relevance. Extra lessons prioritise meaningful engagement, employ interactive activities, hands-on experiments, and interdisciplinary approaches to captivate young minds. By instilling a love for learning from an early age, extra lessons lay the groundwork for a lifelong journey of curiosity, exploration, and intellectual fulfilment. A safe space to ask questions Every child is unique, with their own strengths, weaknesses, and learning styles. Extra lessons recognize this individuality and offer tailored support to address each child’s specific needs. Whether it’s providing additional practice exercises, adapting teaching methodologies, or offering one-on-one guidance, tutors can personalize the learning experience to maximize each child’s potential. This personalized approach extends beyond academic pursuits, fostering holistic development by nurturing essential skills such as critical thinking, problem-solving, and effective communication. By catering to the diverse needs of every learner, extra lessons unlock a world of opportunities for personal growth and development. In the modern educational landscape, the quest for academic excellence is a journey that both parents and children embark upon together. As parents, we constantly seek avenues to enhance our children’s learning experiences and equip them with the tools they need to thrive in an increasingly competitive world. By harnessing the power of supplementary learning, we empower our children to unlock their full potential and embark on a journey of lifelong learning and achievement.

Sammy Hammond

Breastfeeding: the most common challenges and how to deal with them

Breastfeeding can be a beautiful and special time between you and your baby. It can however, come with some challenges. In fact, statistics show that up to 60% of mothers do not breastfeed for as long as they intended to due to challenges faced.  Below are some of the most common breastfeeding challenges or difficulties and how you can deal with them to ensure that you and your little one have a pleasant breastfeeding experience.  Pain or discomfort Pain experienced when breastfeeding can be caused by nipple tenderness, bleeding, blistering and/or cracked nipples.  How to deal with pain: Breastfeeding should not be painful. Please consult a lactation consultant to assist you.  It is important to ensure that your baby is latching correctly and find a breastfeeding position that supports an optimal latch. Make use of nipple cream (chat to your Dr or pharmacist about a recommended brand) or use a small amount of your own breastmilk to soothe your nipples.  Use breast pads to protect your nipples from chaffing on your bra or clothing. Engorgement Engorgement can be very uncomfortable and occurs when breast milk has not been adequately removed, resulting in hard and sore breasts.  How to deal with engorgement: Pump and/or nurse your baby frequently (between 8-12 times a day).  Ensure that your baby is latched on correctly so that he/she can empty your breasts. A poor latch can also result in engorged breasts.  Take warm showers or apply a warmed cloth to your breasts to encourage milk flow.  Breast massage  My baby’s not latching  There are a number of reasons your baby may not be able to achieve a sufficient latch. These include poor coordination, prematurity, discomfort and/or mom having flat or inverted nipples.  How to deal with a poor latch: See a lactation consultant! Lactation consultants are trained to identify and solve breastfeeding challenges.  Try out different breastfeeding positions. There is no one size fits all – try various holds to establish which suits you and your baby best. Support your baby’s neck, shoulders, and hips with your hands. Consider the use of a nipple shield if you have flat nipples – these can be a short term solution to assist your baby to latch. It is advised to consult a Lactation consultant before purchasing a nipple shield.  Not having enough breastmilk  Breastmilk supply is initially low while your body adjusts your hormones to trigger breastmilk production. This usually takes 2-4 days, after which your milk supply should increase to provide the optimal amount of breastmilk for your baby. There are various things that can negatively affect milk supply, and these vary between women.  How to deal with not having enough milk Feed your baby on demand. This should range from every 2 to 3 hours (can be more), day and night. Stick to this range if you are expressing too. It is important that your breasts receive this stimulation, either from your baby feeding, hand expressing or a pump. Try and get as much rest as possible (easier said than done with a newborn). Eat well and frequently as well as drink plenty of water throughout the day and night. If you have friends and/or family around, ask for assistance with chores so that you are able to focus on breastfeeding.  If you are hand expressing and still have a low supply, consider purchasing or renting a breast pump. These pumps are effective in mimicking what your baby does at the breast as well as stimulating milk production. Skin-to-skin; research indicates that skin-to-skin assists with increasing breastmilk production.  If your milk supply remains low or diminishes, consult your Doctor and/or a Lactation Consultant.  Leaking breasts This is a common occurrence in the initial stages of breastfeeding, however, usually subsides after 5-6 weeks.  How to cope with leaking breasts Wear nursing pads inside your bra in the day and night  Feed your baby or express frequently (every 2-3 hours). Producing too much milk  Once your milk supply is fully established, you may find that you have more milk than your baby needs, resulting in coughing, spluttering or vomiting after a feed.  How to cope: Express a small amount of milk before a feed. This ensures the initial let down is not too strong for your baby.  A reclined (lean-back) feeding position allows your baby to control the flow rate of milk from your breast as gravity is minimised.  Take your time and allow your baby to rest after a feed. If he/she has taken in too much milk, moving a lot or too quickly can cause her to vomit.  Above, are only some challenges that new mothers may face when breastfeeding. It is important to not “suffer in silence” but rather to seek the assistance of a lactation consultant. Luckily there are plenty of lactation consultants around that will be happy to assist you and your baby. 

Dr. Penelope Alison

Mindfulness Matters, For Ourselves and Our Communities

Mindfulness.  A word that is thrown about on a regular basis and a concept I thought I was utilising with success on a regular basis.  I had read Eckhart Tolle’s “Power of Now” and was deeply committed to my inner peace throughout my day.  I had just begun to read Rick Hanson’s “Neuro Dharma” prompting the release of my bias that meditation practices were reserved for the yoga studio.  As fate would have it, I then received an email inviting me to join the international “Search Inside Yourself” educator training for improved emotional intelligence.  What a game changer!  When not juggling my home commitments (as many of us do), I currently work part-time as a speech therapist and as a transformational life coach.  Three years ago, I began to incorporate my coaching content centred around self-awareness, self-management and the pursuit of intent and purpose into my speech therapy practice with teenagers who stutter.  Specifically, I now begin each session (or meeting when possible) with three breaths. The first is for us to release where we have been prior to our time together. The second is to just “be” in the new space together. The third is for setting our “highest intention” for what we hope to achieve individually in our time together. In doing so, I have felt a deeper sense of peace, availability, and connection with all my client interactions.  Many of my clients have expressed a similar effect, teenagers included!   I believe we can all benefit from a few of these “three extra breaths” throughout our day. It may not be practical in some circumstances to do this out loud.  Take those moments and improve your individual experience. Whether we are active in a parenting role, walking into a work-related meeting or just standing in a queue, taking three breaths, and focusing on being present sets a new standard for positive outcomes.  There are plenty of opportunities to connect to our devices, let’s be the change and improve our human connectivity, one exchange at a time. 

Dr Gerald B Kaplan

Toddler Teeth

Teething is a painful experience not only for the young child but certainly for the parents who have to endure watching the agony and helping to provide relief. One feel so helpless trying to relieve their pain and having to endure those awful sleepless nights. They are many housewives remedies to see one through the “agony”. Some mothers suggest rubbing brandy or whiskey over the sore gums (just enough to not make the young child into an alcoholic!). Another alternative teething ring or a hard rusk to bite on. The good thing is that the stage passes by in due course. Like everything in child-rearing, everything depends on the parent from feeding, bathing, changing diapers, breaking wind and so on. And so it is with teeth as well. They are precious and need looking after. Baby teeth are not to be taken casually. They fulfil a vital function in growth and development of the child. Besides being used for eating and chewing and learning how to speak, they also are fundamentally important in maintaining space for the permanent teeth to erupt. Baby teeth are also prone to decay. It is very important to avoid having the child go to sleep with a milk bottle. This causes rampant decay known as “baby bottle syndrome”. Prevention is better than cure. It is the parents’ responsibility to look after these baby teeth from the moment they appear in the mouth. In the early stages of tooth eruption, they can be effectively cleaned by wiping them with a gauze swab. As more teeth come into the mouth with the growth of the child, they can then be introduced to a toothbrush. Monkey see monkey do.  If the child watches the parents enjoy brushing their teeth, they will want to do the same. Toothbrushing can really be fun. Make it a game and sing some songs. Cultivate an appreciation for the preciousness of beautiful teeth from an early age. The are many children’s toothbrushes on the market and children’s toothpaste which are pleasantly flavoured. There is no particular preference in their choice. Rather it is the conscientiousness and motivation of the parent to ensure that the teeth are properly looked after from the very beginning. Dummy and thumb sucking may well affect the milk teeth by creating a widened space between the front teeth. I recall one of my teachers saying that it is inadvisable to stop a child from dummy or thumb sucking prematurely or forcibly. They are doing so because of an emotional need and will stop in due course. It is much easier to straighten teeth than to straighten the psyche. All too often one hears from adult patients how they were traumatised in the younger years by the dental treatment that they receive then. They remember a painful injection; a very difficult extraction; being forced into the dental chair against their will; unsympathetic dentist and parent. All of these scenarios are part of crisis management which could have been avoided had the child been taken to dentist timelessly before any problem had occurred. Dental caries is easily detectable and should be treated promptly. More importantly though, it can be prevented and avoided with a good home care by a responsible parent. It is believed that dental decay is an infection passed from parent to child. Therefore it is inadvisable to have the parent suck on the dummy before passing it on to the child. The first visit to the dentist should be at roundabout age 2 to 3 at which time all that is needed is the experience of the fun to ride up and down on the dental chair. It is disastrous for the parents to show fear of the dentist because that fear is contagious. The whole experience should be one of fun and excitement. Regular dental visits should become routine and hopefully the child will be able to bounce out of the chair and exclaim  “look, no cavities”.

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